cover of episode Matinee Monday: I Know Who Killed Me (w/ Ken Marino)

Matinee Monday: I Know Who Killed Me (w/ Ken Marino)

2024/10/14
logo of podcast How Did This Get Made?

How Did This Get Made?

Chapters

The discussion focuses on the perplexing identity of Lindsay Lohan's character in 'I Know Who Killed Me,' comparing her dual roles as a piano prodigy and a stripper, and dissecting the film's confusing plot and symbolism.
  • Lindsay Lohan plays dual roles as a piano prodigy and a stripper.
  • The film includes a baffling football scene and a crowd's reaction to a discovery.
  • There are alternate endings and beginnings on the DVD, showing different versions of the character's actions.

Shownotes Transcript

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Lindsay Lohan's a good girl, or is she a bad girl missing her limbs? It's David Lynch through the eyes of the Nickelodeon audience. We saw I Know Who Killed Me, and now you know what that means. Now it's time for...

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? The podcast where we try to make sense of the movies that make no sense. I am joined, as always, by Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Paul? Very good. And June Diane Raphael. Hi, Paul.

You know, thank you guys so much for listening to our last episode. I know we probably have a lot more new listeners here, and you probably are expecting us to have some sort of star, actor, or director. That is a special thing. We're not going to do that every week, but we're going to try to do it when we can. But our normal format is where we just sit around and talk about the movies and ask the question, how did this get made? And we always do it with a special guest, and our special guest this week is the hilariously funny Ken Marino. You know him from The State and Children's Hospital. Ken Marino.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Are you doing... I would love it if you just chose a character to do this whole thing. Hello. You're British. You're British off camera. Man, oh man. This movie. I know it killed me. I've heard about this movie forever. I've never seen it. And there's so many things to talk about here. Are there? Are there so many things? I just want to say Robot Leg. Robot Leg plays a crucial part of this film. Robot Hand. Robot Hand. Yes.

Yeah. How about the guy who makes the robot hands? Wait, who looks like that? Snoop Dogg? No, it's the guy from My Name is Earl. Oh, the catfish man, right? Yeah, the guy who delivers pizza or something. I don't know. I really want to know. Oh, my God. I thought it was the guy who teaches Nomi how to dance from Showgirls. No.

No. No, it is the crawfish man or whatever. The robot arm plays a pretty integral. Oh, my God. We just really jumped in straight to robot arm. We did. We got right in there. But it plays an important part to the plot of this movie. And one of my favorite parts is when Lindsay Lohan says, her character just says, oh, God, I keep on forgetting to plug this robot arm in.

What is she doing? Yeah, what is she doing that she forgets to... She is so blasé about being a double amputee and being mistaken for the wrong person. She's just like, ugh, I'm not

Aubrey or whatever her name was. Aubrey. Aubrey. Aubrey and Dakota. I'm Dakota. Yikes. All right. So let's bring it back just a second. So this movie is essentially about a good girl, Aubrey Moss, who is played by Lindsay Lohan.

Very good. Very solid performance. This is right before the downfall, would you say? No, no, no. Right before it? Are you insane? This is man. This is deep into it. One of my first comments watching it, like thoughts, was like, get that woman a cigarette. She clearly needs a cigarette. Everybody. Even the father. The father, by the way, in this movie, he has been like a creepy guy in many things, and now he's supposed to be a likable. He looks like a killer the entire time. Her dad...

Neil McDonough. Neil McDonough. Very good in Captain America. You're supposed to think that he might be. Are you supposed to? Yeah. The way they stage him, like he's creeping behind the couch during the mom's... Oh, right. He shows up wherever she is and is like, I'm right here. It's just me in the cemetery. It's just me. What? What do you mean it's just me? How did you find her there? That thing knows that...

And how did the parents get over to that house? So basically, Aubrey Moss is a good girl, doesn't want to have sex with her boyfriend. She's a creative writer. But does want to have sex with a gardener. This is one of the best scenes in the whole movie. Holy shit. Whoa. She pulls up to her house in her convertible, looks in the rearview mirror to see the gardener shirtless.

No, no, he takes off his shirt. Oh, he's in a tank top. Yes. I have a lot to talk about about the first appearance of Julia Orlon, but go ahead, Paul. So she pulls up in her car. She looks at this gardener. They kind of make eyes with each other. He takes off his tank top. He is fat.

This guy is not in shape. He's not in shape. He's kind of in shape, but he's got like a donut. So they keep shooting him either above his donut or out of focus. Why not hire a super ripped good looking guy? It's not believable. But he also has a

really strange like chest tattoo. Yeah, a nipple tattoo. I've never seen anything like that. He has a nipple tattoo. Which is like a scorpion or like, yeah, and he's making eyes with her, she's making eyes with him and then he picks up a big like a branch of wood. A rod. A real rod and starts like jerking it off. Jerking off the rod of wood and looking at her and she's kind of like

into it meanwhile the camera is panning her body like it's a fucking pantyhose ad yeah like it like keeps going down to her legs up her butt and then she gives him the finger and it's like he's jerking off the tree branch and i'm like this isn't in a movie you guys know you're you're rolling right now right this is being recorded this should have been on the blooper reel of this film because it was it's like if he's so like sexual with this piece of wood that he's just like

slowly jerking off. And is he licking his lips too? Or he's like, his face is... But I don't understand why she flipped him off. It seemed like she was into it. I thought so too. I thought they were going to get it done. She was flirting, but like, you know, like Aubrey won't do something like that. She's just not going to do that. When he comes down to it. Dakota would jump right into that. That's right up Dakota's alley. But I think there's a little Dakota in Aubrey. Oh, shit. Well, because Aubrey is a creative writer who is writing a story about

about a girl with two personalities or... So Aubrey is a creative writer in high school. She's also a piano prodigy. Yes, who won the... Young artist. The next young artist competition.

But that was a long time ago. But she's still training. That's the most generic name. Next Young Artist. Yeah. But she's still trying. She's going to try and win it again. Yeah. How could you be the next young artist twice? Who knows? That was really confusing. So when did she win it? Years back. Okay. As a piano prodigy. So it's something where you can go every year and give it the old college try. I don't know.

I don't think she was competing for the Next Young Artist competition again. She just had won it, and he believed in her so much that he just brought that up. He's like, you won the Next Young Artist competition. That's no small feat. You have to keep working at this. You're brilliant. The very prestigious Next Young Artist competition, which they gave out a trophy. You see the trophy later, and it looks like the worst softball trophy. It's like intramural softball trophy. Terrible.

Terrible. And then she's like, I'm giving up piano. I have to focus on my writing. And I just got into Yale. That's where I was like, wait, she's in high school? She looks like literally an old woman. When they pan around the classroom, she could be the teacher. It's like To Die For, that scene. Wait, there's a point. Oh, my God. I can't even. This movie made me mental.

She is so amazing. But we've skipped over the first scene, which is the strip club scene. Oh, my God. Where she's stripping in a gauzy dress, then takes that off to reveal a corset. She had more clothing on. It was topless titty shots of all the other women. Everyone's naked except her. And she's wearing basically a snowsuit. And she's crawling around really slow. It's slow motion. It's the most...

not sexual. Except for that one part where she crawls over to the old guy and takes his cigarette and implies that she stuck it up her cooch. And then they cut away and then she hands the cigarette back to him and he smells it. So that was... You thought that was sexy. That's where I started jerking off. That's where I started jerking off in this movie.

I was like, oh, shit. On his reaction shot. She's addicted to cigarettes in her pussy. Her pussy wants that cigarette as much as she does. We're jumping ahead to, so you establish her as a stripper, but then you realize she's a good schoolgirl. What?

That's an interesting thing. And the stripper is bleeding in the beginning. Oh, there's blood all over the pole, which is also... I was like, yoinks. This is crazy. Very unsettling. Aubrey is abducted. And she's tortured. Although we don't see that, but yes. Yes, and then she's tortured. And then they find her body on the side of the road. And when she wakes up, she is no longer Aubrey. She is Dakota Moss.

And Dakota Moss is a stripper. And everyone's like, you're Aubrey. She's like, no, I'm Dakota Moss. And they're like, you've been through a trauma. You can't face it. And the police, who are the worst, interrogate her like she murdered herself. It's really angry. They basically were like, stop fucking with us. Yeah, they go, why are you not giving us information? She has...

She has no limbs. She has no limbs. She has just been, like, tortured for 18 days. And that's the other thing. She is missing half of an arm and half of a leg. And it's implied. Wait, guys. Did everybody else hear this or am I out of my mind? The guy cut all her fingers off but then sewed them back on. Yes!

What? But then the hospital had to remove the whole hand. Yes. It's what I heard. Oh, that was of the other hand? Oh. No, no, no. The hand she uses? The hand that he put the dry ice on. He puts dry ice on in a vice. And then that's why she was sewing on that finger later. Here, let's listen to the interrogation scene. We have a small clip here. Playing games with us. Am I making myself clear? We have to know the truth. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. You want to know the truth? Well, what about me?

That is it. And now I'm locked up in the line. Line? She doesn't remember a line. It feels to me like she was like, I'm not saying what's in the script. I'll just improvise. That's what it seemed like to me. There was a lot of parts that I felt that way. No, no, no. Fingers, hands, legs.

Legs gone! I want to fucking know what's going on here, too. By the way, there were a lot of fucks in this movie, and I feel like the director just said, like, if you need to use that word or if it comes up, just let her rip. Also, though, she says it in a very unnerving way. Like, her fucks felt abrasive to me. I didn't like her saying fuck. Especially when she was like, does Aubrey fuck you like that? I was like, ha! Ha ha ha!

Stop it. Do you remember, I want to talk about this. When she comes back to the house or when she's in the house, they have a close-up on that dog, that hairless chihuahua. No, no, it's a cat. The first scene of Julia Orman is after Aubrey has disappeared and Julia Orman is being interviewed by the FBI lady and you only see her in the mirror and she's stroking a hairless cat. And I was like,

This is straight out of like, this is a Dr. Evil Austin Powers joke. And that cat has this weird bump coming out of his ass. It looks like, I don't know if there's balls or dick or it looks like. I think it was his balls. It's really on, it's really weird looking. It's like a little butt jutting out of his ass. It's really. What was up with, and the other, this is where I started to be like, oh boy, here we go. Because.

And the scene prior to this was the scene where Aubrey's being tortured with all the pretend blue instruments. Yes. Oh, blue. More blue. Sponsored by Blue Mangrove. Well, this is what happened. It's the blue rose and then the blue instruments. And then when you see the Julia Armand stroking the cat, the cat's wearing a blue collar. And I was like,

Oh, boy. This is going to be a blue thing, isn't it? It was awesome. Blue is everywhere. Everywhere. In the football game, the piano teacher's ring, the Liberace-style ring he wore. Blue, blue, blue. Blue was so overblown. Except for red. The red of Dakota's world. The strip club is red. Rawr!

But here's my question. Why? Why blue? Like, what the f- Well, I'll tell you why. Because blue is the color of the ribbon of the Young Artist Competition. Wait, that was the whole thing? Do you think that's why? No.

I don't know. Blue's the ribbon of any first place ribbon. You could have sold that. I wouldn't believe that. But the blue, I mean, the blue is a weird, yeah, there's no reason for the blue. I mean, even the serial killer who has like He-Man style instruments. What are they? Plastic something. No, you know what this guy was like? This guy was like, you know what I want this movie to be? It's a little bit Twin Peaks. It's a little bit Twin Peaks.

It's a little bit Cronenberg dead ringers. I'm going to make my own instruments of torture. You know, it's not like random scalpels and stuff, but they are like plastic looking weirdos. It looks like a He-Man toy. Yeah, it does. And he buries his victims in a stained glass coffin. And dresses them up like old timey. They look like Little House on the Prairie when she's in that little coffin there. Oh, whoa, whoa. I wrote this down. I don't remember, but I think it's funny.

Don't ask me any more questions. What was that? Oh, that was when they find out that Jennifer Toland's dead. The teacher finds out. Oh, yeah, yeah. She finds out and she turns to the class and says, Jennifer Toland's body's just been found. Please don't ask me any questions because I don't have any details. Then they cut to the football game and the announcer's like, Jennifer Toland's body was found this week. We're going to have a moment of silence. And then it's like, all right, let's go.

And I was like, what? Are you screaming about Jennifer Toland's dead body? I also like that they said her body was found, not that she's died. She passes like, her body was found. So terrible. Just talking about that football game, which I think was a junior college. I think she was actually in junior college. Yes, I think she was in junior college.

Wait, that would blow my mind if that's the case. She was going from junior college to Yale. That's quite a leap. Who sets a movie in junior college? What are you talking about? What junior college football team has a fucking Mardi Gras celebration? Everybody is celebrating in that street. It was crazy. It was mayhem. What's crazier is I genuinely believe it was high school.

And it was like every single person who was there, every single person that was there was in their 30s. Junior college wouldn't be able to have that kind of a celebration, right? Yes, but then they had a 20... Did you hear that they had a 21 and under curfew? And then when she disappeared, nobody was on the street. There was nobody on the street except her two friends and her boyfriend. Who were waiting for her to go to a movie and she's nowhere to be seen. The entire street front is empty and they're screaming in front like,

Aubrey! Like, she's not around. She clearly is not around. And then Brian Garrity, who's her boyfriend, shows up. Oh, this poor guy. He's in, like, amazing movie. What's it called? Um...

blow up explosion and then this movie and he comes running up and he's like where's Aubrey and they're like oh no and he's like where did she park and they go you know that street and he's like what he's like wait no what street she goes you know the street that one over there like what it's like the craziest conversation if that was written in the script I would be like this is preposterous and she goes you know the street with the art gallery

And he's like, I know. And then they run there and it's apparently like a block away. I turned to Eric. I was like, was that page of dialogue necessary? Like, what was that about? Yeah. And then there was a blue rose that he gave her in her car, which is unsure if she placed it there or if the killer placed it there. You know what? It's the,

the entire movie was threaded with misdirects so that you would think everybody was the killer. Yes. So you would think because he gave her the blue rose and blue is the color of the murderer, he's the murderer. Because the cat has the collar, the mom is the murderer. The dad is the murderer. Everybody was possible, but it made no sense because by sowing those seeds in everyone, it made like the real murderer. Everything is red hands. Although they never called back the guard

Yeah, they did right before she disappeared the gardener drives by with the head with his headlight is hanging off the car blue No, he's just he's just driving by and she sees him and you think oh, she's gonna go fuck him now, right? No, I know he's there. But did he have anything blue on him? He had blue balls from the

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So can anyone answer why the police department set up in a local church for

for no reason. And every person who worked for the FBI just wore a black shirt that said FBI. I've never seen more t-shirts of people just at FBI and all walking around like, well, I hope this doesn't upset the church social on Sunday. I genuinely felt like all of those scenes they just put out a casting call and just put homeless people in FBI t-shirts. Who was the Murray brother who was in the white beard? He looked like the missing Murray brother. Oh my God. It looks like Brian Doyle Murray but it's not. You want to hear? On the DVD there is a blooper reel and

That guy who looks like the missing Bill Murray brother has a pretty hilarious blooper, so let's listen to it. - There was enough speed left in Jennifer Tilly. - Oh, he's upset, he said Jennifer Tilly. - There was enough speed in Jennifer Tolan. There was enough speed in Jennifer Tilly.

What? He keeps on saying Jennifer Tolland. This guy does it. No, he wasn't done with Jennifer Tolland. So Brian Doyle Murray, imposter. Who's not Brian Doyle? I don't want him to line Brian Doyle Murray. He's not Brian Doyle Murray. Killed fun saying Jennifer Tolland. We're going to get an email that's like, hey guys, Brian Doyle Murray here. I do some good movies. I'm in Groundhog Day. That blooper reel made me laugh so hard. The blooper reel is not a blooper reel, but that was the funniest part that he couldn't remember Jennifer Tolland versus Jennifer Tolland. And he gets so upset. He's like,

He closes his eyes. He's like, damn it. Yeah, he's... I'm really upset that he's messed up. He doesn't laugh at all. There's so much. There's literally, there's so much I want to talk about on an individual. I can't tell if we should keep approaching it from the point of view of the plot or the insanity. There's a lot of different ways in. So when she's in the hospital, when she wakes up in the hospital and she has no arm and no leg, right? Yes. No, guys, I need to know.

Oh, my God. This is a stupid question. Did Dakota's arm and leg disappear because Aubrey's were cut off? Yes. It's sympathetic twin shit, right? It's non-religious stigmata. Right? Which we need to talk about. Guys, guys. The Leonard Nimoy-esque stigmata.

Art Bell, who is like a crazy conspiracy theory guy. Bleeding wounds unexplained is what she Googles. First she writes bleeding wounds and then asks. She goes to Ask Jeeve to ask and type in bleeding wounds unexplained and up comes a movie that explains why she could have it. In which the internet guy on the thing who's explaining it scientifically is smoking.

Yes. What? What are you talking about? He's trying to do like a Rod Serling, but it looks so cheap and terrible. And so basically what you're... So the whole movie, she's like, I'm Dakota. I'm Dakota. I'm not Aubrey. And I'm Dakota because what's happening is...

We're twins. We're twins. And my twin is being hurt. And that's why my limbs are falling off, which explains why she was bleeding on the pole in the beginning of the movie. She's a stripper. She was stripping when her sister, Aubrey, was getting tortured. Yes. Porn torture. That's why fingers were falling off. And the guy was dry icing her fingers off.

Which, by the way, just how disgusting. Like, why? That torture scene was really upsetting. So we're to understand that the piano teacher was cutting off their fingers. Spoiler alert. Yes, it was the piano teacher. Guys, it's the piano teacher. It's the piano teacher. So we're to understand that he was cutting off limbs because his students were quitting? Yes. Because he cut off their pedal foot.

And one of their hands. I see. Right. He would torture them for not... Remember in the beginning when he's like, it's really simple, watch. And he does it with his right hand and he goes... That was really good. That was amazing. He's burning off their fingers because they aren't using those...

parts of their bodies to their potential. So basically, that was like really good. I like that a lot. And so then he gets his comeuppance at the end. Get at it. Yeah, go for it. So she gets to his house in the third act. Dakota. With her robot arm and leg. Although the leg's running out of battery. The leg is running out of battery.

And the piano teacher, we don't know it's a piano teacher because he's dressed like Blue Man Group. Yeah, he has like a blue face mask on. Yeah, big like rubber blue thing on his face. And he reaches through a door to get her and she takes this big plastic thing and starts gnawing his arm off and he doesn't pull it back. And she takes a good 30,

Oh, yeah. It's the whining. It's the whining. He's really cut through the whole thing. And so then at the end, he's sitting at the piano and he can't play that beautiful thing he played in the beginning. Oh, boy. But now also, that doesn't explain the fact that in his basement, he just had mannequin legs hanging from the ceiling. No, I thought those were human legs. They weren't? No, they were mannequin legs. Oh, okay. And he kept on kissing them when he went down. So he loves the pedal foot that much in piano that he needs them around? I don't know what that meant.

Did you guys notice, by the way, and now I think it's me, and now, okay, I'm going to amend what I thought was going on in the beginning, because now it really was about him cutting off people's legs, but there were so many shots of feet in this movie that I was like, oh, the person that made this movie is straight up a foot fetishist. Because there are so many shots of everybody's feet, it was crazy.

And I jerked off. This is a movie that is so full, so full of sex, but no nudity from Lindsay Lohan. She has a hardcore sex scene with Brian Garrity. She's stripping. Everyone around her is naked except for her. And by the way... She strips while her fingers are falling off and acts like it's no big deal. No.

She is literally like, she is so blasé about wounds opening on her body, her fingers falling off, and it's just like, ah, whatever. I cut my hand on some glass. I was having a drink outside. I cut my hand on some glass. Your finger fell off. On to the floor. She's like, hospitals are for rich people. Yeah. Hospitals are for rich people.

A hospital for rich people. Her finger fell down for no reason. That was the best line, and this is the other best line. Julia Armand comes. Well, her reaction, too, was to sew it back on. Yeah. That was her thing. A hospital for rich people. I'll just sew this. I'm going to drink a little booze, go home. And sew this on. I'm going to take the bus home. Take the bus home. And there's a guy who's like...

People get cut. Yeah, people get cut. That's exactly what he said. She's like bleeding and like she's flirting with the guy on the bus. Her fucking finger's off. And she's dressed like the Great Gatsby or something like that. She is. She's got like this flapper hat on. Oh my God. Julia Armand comes into the hospital when she wakes up and is trying to remind Dakota, quote unquote, that she is Aubrey and has like a teddy bear. And she goes, she goes,

I brought some things from home for you. And she's clearly nervous. And she's like, just, you know, because people in comas sometimes respond to stuff. She goes, do I look like I'm in a fucking coma? And then she goes, this. And she pulls up the teddy bear and goes, this is Mr. Jervis. She does the whole point. What? Mr. Jervis, monkey man. This is Mr. Jervis, me, me. And I was like, holy shit. This is the scariest part of this movie.

about the part where Dakota's talking about her mother and she goes I always knew my mother because she'd come around on payday but then she didn't come around on one payday and went over to her house she goes over to her house to find her dead mother who is mummified yeah like she's not like dead like for a day like she's dead for you can't have a flashback for a character that's not real like it yeah at that point I'm like wait what are we looking at right

now but she is real no she is real but at that moment is when you're like oh well this is now a real this has to be a real person because otherwise why would you show me a flashback of a pretend are you ready so messy are you ready to hear what the alternate ending was oh my god yes let me take my pants off Aubrey wrote the whole thing wait what

Aubrey wrote this. This is her creative writing story. That's what I thought it was in the beginning. But what does that mean? Well, what's her name finds the story Dakota on Aubrey's computer. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is all made up. This is her creative writing that she wrote. I'm glad they went this way. They shot it. They showed it to a test audience. Test audience reacted so negatively to it that they just cut out

the final scene of the movie. That's why the movie ends kind of so abruptly. Like they just lay in a ditch when they finally meet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there's no real conclusion past that. So yeah, the alternate ending was that it's all in her head. So the whole movie was shot with that as the idea. The goal was that. Oh God. So it was like a real rug puller at the end. Yes. Wow. One of my favorite things was like when, who plays the female FBI detective?

The woman who was on ER, I think, right? Wasn't she on ER for a while? I don't know. But anyway, she finds on the computer the story Dakota and is like, look at this. It's a story and blah, blah, blah. And then it flashes back to Aubrey reading the story Dakota. She's seductively sitting on the teacher's desk reading her story out loud to the class. And then she goes, she looks up and goes, to be continued.

And I was like, you don't write to be continued in your short story class, you fucking assholes. Again, a little improv probably. A little improv in there. To be continued. To be continued. Fuck you. Did you like the fact that she used the robot hand to help break through things? She has to get into a coffin to save Aubrey, who was buried alive in a prairie dress. And she looks at her hand and she's like, zhrrk.

She just closes it like Iron Man and just like, and smashes through a coffin to be able to save her. You see her make that decision. She's like, I dug up with a shovel, which I could have easily broken the glass with. I dug up a hole. And now I've cleared everything away so you can perfectly see the glass that my sister is behind and buried under. And now I'm going to decide to use this hand. Because if I didn't have the hand, how would I break the glass? It'd be impossible. No way. No way.

I thought it was really lame that we didn't get to see any of the amputations during the sex scene with Brian Garrity. Oh, you wanted to see that? I wanted to see her, like, get it all in there. Oh, can we talk about the music and the sex scenes? I wanted to see some stump action. The comic section of the movie. I did too, actually. You wanted to see some stump sucking. That's exactly what I wanted to see.

That's disgusting. It was all shot from the other side. So Ken and I, we were having our separate conversations. I love that this is just split into two different conversations about this movie. We were talking about the sex scene with the comic relief...

that was going on, which is Aubrey is upstairs banging Branko. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the setup is the boyfriend comes back, the football boyfriend comes back and is meeting who he thinks is Aubrey for the first time. I mean, since her accident. Right, yes. But it's really Dakota. And so he's like, I know you're Dakota. And she's like, I mean, I know you're Aubrey. And she's like, no, I'm Dakota. I'm Dakota. And he goes over and he kisses her to try to kind of snap her back into it. Well, she gets turned on. She's like, let's go upstairs. And fuck.

in my parents' house and Julia Armand... She's like, I only got one condom. Yeah. Make it worth your while. And it's really sunny out. Make it last. By the way, where did that condom come from? From Aubrey. Aubrey, it's a safe girl. Oh, okay. But I guess Dakota's done an inventory of Aubrey's... Yeah, because she's never... She just walked home, right? She's never...

been here before and is acting so cool like, this is my house. By the way, just as a tangent for one second, why would they let the parents take her home if she's so delusional? They wouldn't let her take her home. Anyway. Sorry, Ken, go ahead. Well, just the comedic scene is she brings her boyfriend upstairs and fucks him and there's like funny, silly comic music playing. I have a clip of it right here. You want to hear it? Yeah, and Julian Armand is downstairs washing clothes.

Like washing the sink, trying not to listen to them fucking upstairs. And it's supposed to be like a funny scene in the middle of this like porno movie. And the scene goes on for a long time. The sex scene and the scrubbing goes on. But listen to the music that they underscore the sex scene with. Here you go.

This is the music. They're having hard time. Let's do it all night. It sounds like cameo. It's like a Morris Day in the Time song. All right, so that's what's going on while there is furious sex and scrubbing going on.

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My favorite thing is when she's talking, at one point she's talking to Julia Ormond and she goes, I know what's going on. I'm a twin. It cut to Julia Ormond showing her video of a sonogram. Yes! When Julia Ormond was pregnant, I was like, this was impossible. There is no way you have available to you a video of this child in the womb. They didn't even have VCR. Maybe they just had VCR. Was it ever explained though how she got that video since she was pregnant?

Who knows? No, no, she... Oh, right, her baby died. Her baby died. The ludicrous plot is that, yeah, the baby got killed and then the husband...

bought a baby off a crack addict down the hall, part of the twins. And by the way, was sending that woman $11 a month? Like in an envelope. $11. $11. What? But a month for 18 years is pretty good. Yeah, that adds up. My favorite part was Gregory Itzen, the guy who played the vice president on 24, who's like the psychologist, has an iPad at one point, and they're trying to determine if Aubrey is lying. Oh my God. And they go, was she lying? He goes,

She is not lying. She's. And then he starts writing on the iPad and the iPad writing comes up on the screen. It goes, delusional. It just comes up delusional over her face. On a big screen on the other side of the room. He doesn't say delusional. He spells it out for everybody to see. And it's in red. I also loved when, I love, you know, in that way, she turns to the Neil McDonagh character when they're in the cemetery and goes, I know who killed me.

And I was like, oh my god, this movie has a shitty titular line? Yeah, yeah. This is amazing. I'm so excited right now. I was very excited that she said that. Yeah, oh yeah. I like yelped. I yelped Thai restaurants because I was hungry. My favorite part too was when the doctor goes, or Gregory Itzen again is interviewing her, goes, how did your mother die? And she goes, O.D., duh. She said, duh, duh.

It is. She is also the worst stripper in a movie about strippers ever. She's the worst stripper and the worst creative writer. She's not excelling in anything. Watch this movie just to hear her read her short stories aloud to her class, which are, you know the writer of this movie was like, fucking nailed it. Came down that day and the person's significant other was like, how was writing today? Ugh.

I fucking nailed it. The girl in my thing writes short stories, and I just crushed it. And Lindsay Lohan is going to crush reading these stories. Do you think that...

Do you think that, whatchamacallit, that the piano teacher may be right then? She's a bad stripper. She's a bad creative writer. She should have stuck with the piano to do that. Maybe he was right. She was good on the piano. Maybe he was right. Maybe he was right, yeah. Obviously, we had some strong thoughts about this movie, but now it is time for a second opinion. These are second opinions. From top to bottom, crazy movies are fun.

These are five-star reviews of I Know Who Killed Me. A. Alexander writes, I watch this movie three times now. I could watch it another eight times. I have no idea why, but I like this movie. Oh, my God. For starters, the cover box art is pretty awesome. What? Five stars. For starters. Five stars. That's it. Why not start there? That's worth watching 11 times.

Jack Spratt writes, What? Wait, will you reread that sentence?

For people who are intelligent and love that which is unique, this may become your favorite movie. P.S. I've never been to a strip club. P.P.S. English is not my first language. You know what was really unsatisfying though? Is that you didn't even get the fun of her figuring this thing out. No. It felt like

all of a sudden she knew all of this information. Like, there was no... It didn't unfold. You know what it had? This movie had a straight-up Scooby-Doo ending. Oh, yeah. This movie ended like a Scooby-Doo episode where they went to the haunted house, they found the man in the mask, they pulled the mask off, it was the piano teacher, and he was like, I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling twin, and then they fucking killed him. And, by the way...

she went to the piano teacher's house but every time they cut to an exterior it was in the middle of the forest like deep I didn't understand the geography between the cemetery and the forest and we're even talking about she has like act one act two act three on her wall because she's a writer there's no act one act two act three in this movie I was like I don't even understand where we're going with this it's a very confusing movie and but

When they're driving to his house and she says, we really have to hurry up. We really have to hurry up. Why? What's pending? Wait, what I couldn't figure out. Because she's losing her breath because she knows that her sister is buried. She's at the grave. She was already at the grave. Dig your sister up now. Don't go to the guy's house. No, her sister wasn't at the graveyard. She went to the graveyard. That was Jennifer Toland's body. So her sister was alive. Her sister was under the owl. Her sister was under the owl at the...

piano teacher's house. Oh, got it. Sorry. And he just buried her. He had just buried her. Well, then why was... Then whose grave? Jennifer Toland. No, her name was on the grave. But then it wiped away and it went back to Jennifer Toland. Delusion. Oh, okay. I missed that. I thought she was at Aubrey's grave and left. So I'm sorry, last question. I don't know why they did that. So was Aubrey alive at the end? Yes. Yes.

It was the first time the sisters met each other since they were born. And they have to be alive because apparently they are so connected that anything that happens to one happens to the other. It's a story as old as time. So I have a question. I have a question. So does that mean when Brian Garrity made Dakota come when they were having sex...

In the coffin, Aubrey came. Yeah, she came. That must have been very confusing for her. That was weird for her. A lot of different feelings. She's going to have some weird sex problems. I'm buried alive. Oh, boy. What's going on? Oh, God. Oh, boy. On this final positive review, I just want to read this final one from C. Cloutier.

As a traditional film, this is bad. It does not feature explosions or excessive nudity or toilet humor. But as an independent film, this is great. What? The trick is being patient and watching the film all the way through. It starts off boring, as most independent films. But the trick is the creative script. You have to get to the end in order to appreciate it. By the way, the word trick is in quotation marks.

I love it. The trick. The trick. Independent. As in...

As a traditional film. Most independent films are very, very boring for at least the first half. You just have to apply the right judgment to it. Only at the end should things become good. If you're judging this based on a traditional movie, oh, then you have every right to think it's bad. But if you just apply your independent movie filter, this thing's pretty terrific. Oh, my God. Can we talk about the neck stab face? When Dakota finally stabs the piano teacher in the neck.

He holds his face. His face is like... It's the greatest thing I've ever seen. It looks like... Yeah, it's like one side of his mouth is jutting to one side and the other is the other side. But he holds it for so long. And then you think he's going to fall. Yeah. But then he doesn't. Then they cut to this wide shot and he starts walking through the prosthetic legs for a while. And then he finally grabs two and he's like... And then he just drops out of frame in kind of a comedic way. He's just like...

Okay, you're good there, Ben. Just now, just go down on one knee. Oh, no, your head's still in. Come up again. Go down all the way. Okay, we got it. Check the gate. Moving on. Did anyone talk about... Well, I guess we did talk a little bit about the... How did the father get killed? I don't know how the father got killed. No one saw that. The father was a red herring. You think the father is... He says he's going to go into the house and get whoever's in the house who's the killer. But we're supposed to think...

It's the father. That's going to be the twist. When she goes in, the guy in the blue mask, he's still thinking maybe it's the dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then she cuts the hand off and then she walks over to this table and the dad, that killer, the real killer, got the dad and started draining his blood. That was so weird. But he did it so quickly too. He did it really quick. Really quick. And then the father gives this kind of heartfelt speech like, I'm sorry, as he's like,

Yeah, he figured out he shouldn't have bought a baby for $11 a month. That worked out badly. Fuck that guy. He should die. Actually, though, that didn't work out badly. It really didn't, actually. It saved his daughter. I guess so. If he didn't, we would have never found her. I fucking can't wait for the sequel. And how did Dakota Moss end up on the side of the road missing her limbs? She was on a bus the last time we saw her, but then she was all of a sudden on the side of the road, right? Oh, who knows? Because she should have been at home.

Where did her limbs go? Yeah. When Aubrey's limbs were cut off, presumably the murderer did something with them. But if Dakota was in the supermarket when it happened, did her leg just fall off next to her? Why didn't any of that get explained? None of it.

Um, we, where's her goddamn leg? What happened? What happened? Just the guy that she met on the, just, I don't know. The guy she met on the bus then is making love to her and he takes his shirt off and he's got a tattoo on his shirt. I mean his chest and then it starts moving and then an eye pops out of it, uh,

of his chest and then it goes and then blue eyes but that's what I'm saying it was like David Lynch for dummies it was sort of like here's some weird shit like even her like the madam oh my favorite character in the movie they shoot her with like a fish lens and she's like I don't care your ID says you're 21 you're 21 dance yeah she and then Dakota's finger has fallen off she's passed out on the floor and she's like go dance like she's very abrasive woman

We asked you, the audience, to come up with a drinking game for this movie. We felt that that may be the only way to watch it. So here's... It's time for some viewer mail. You've got mail, baby, yeah. Okay, here we go. Dan in Toronto says, Every time this movie rips off David Lynch, drink all the liquor in your cabinet, then kill yourself. Ha ha ha!

Ethan Poe. Then kill yourself. Then kill yourself. Holy shit. Ethan Poe writes, here's a color change challenge. Every time you see a scene with a blue filter, do a shot of Johnny Walker blue. Every time you see a red filtered scene, Johnny Walker red. That's one. By the way, there was yellow in the movie, too. Brian Garrity and all the things related to him were yellow.

None of that made any sense. You're welcome. And then Liam Sr. said, drink once for every time you wish you were dead so you wouldn't have to sit through this awful movie and repeat.

Amazing. Thank you guys for sending those in. You get nothing. Everybody knows you don't do shots of scotch. Yeah, you have to sip that. You got to sip that. That's a sipping drink. By the way, not to... Can't do shots of blue and red scotch? Not to rip on this, but watching that football scene in I Know Who Killed Me made me appreciate how great the football scenes in Friday Night Lights is shot. Oh my God. It was the most boring football game I've ever seen. It was terrible. And the crowd going nuts at the discovery of Jennifer...

Tilly's body, not Jennifer Tilly, but now that's all I can think of. I love that there is legitimately on the DVD, which I did not know, a blooper reel. There's an alternate ending and an alternate beginning. The alternate beginning is just cityscape shots. Instead of her slowly non-stripping? Yes, so they made a good choice there. Instead of her bumping her hips against a pole and then bleeding? No.

than having a period on a stripper pole. It's really sexy. This company, I researched this company, they made some great movies like the remake of April Fool's Day. The remake of it? Yes. What is that? April Fool's Day was like a movie like in the 80s, like this horror movie. I love that movie. Yeah, they did the remake of that. They have not, they've made four movies since and they've all been like direct-to-DVD films. Oh my God. Can they call us please? We need to talk to you guys. This,

This was a big disappointment for Lindsay Lohan's career, apparently, this movie. Wait, it was? They said that this is right after she was hospitalized during the majority of this film. Oh, God. And so she was very sick. Although what's funny about the blooper reels, though, because it does look like she's in the thick of it when watching her performance, but when watching the blooper reel, she seems like she's having a great time. You know, she comes to set with it where they're a game. She's a pro. She's a pro's pro. You know, the pros sit around and they talk about her.

Any final thoughts, anybody? I think anything? Anything we didn't cover? All right, guys. That was it. This is a pretty great one. This is an amazing one. I highly recommend you watch it. Big thanks to Kim Marino. Kim, do you have anything coming up? You have a Twitter, at Kim Marino. Yeah. People can follow you on. Yeah. Anything you want to...

Do you hate the Twitter? No, I'm fine with the Twitter. I just don't know how to promote the Twitter. I know you don't have it at all. You're on Twitter and that's enough. We're going to do Children's Hospital. We're going to do a thing Burning Love soon. But we'll talk about that. It's not completed. And then Children's Hospital and I don't know what else. You know, other things. All right, great.

I mean, I don't know what to say. You got Wanderlust coming out, too. Oh, yeah. Wanderlust is coming out the 24th of February. Hilarious movie. You're fantastic in it. Thanks. Awesome. And I'm on Twitter at Paul Scheer. At Miss June Diane. I'm not on Twitter. And check us out on our Facebook page at How Did This Get Made. Thank you guys so much. We'll see you next time. How Did This Get Made? At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a house. It's your home. The place that's filled with memories.

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