Matinee Monday: Demolition Man LIVE! (w/ Wyatt Cenac)
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Hello, New York! We are live!

Self Culture, we're in a beautiful space here on Bleecker Street. We have an amazing show for you, but first let me introduce my two co-hosts. Please welcome June Diane Rapio and Jason Manzoukas. Special guest here tonight, please welcome, It's An Act.

Welcome everybody. Demolition Man, a movie made in 1993, posits a world that in 1996, shit has gone terribly wrong. The opening of this movie, and this is like a weird cliche that bugs me, it's like, the Hollywood sign is just on fire?

Oh, yeah. And it feels to me like the filmmaker's like, oh, yeah, it's always on fire. Yeah, because there wasn't like a fire in the hills. No. Like nothing else around it was on fire. Just the letters. Well, I feel like every year, at least when I lived in L.A., there was always...

this is the year that the Hollywood sign is going to be torn down and people would fight to save it. And it's like, if you watch all these movies, no, don't, nobody wants it. No, nobody wants it. Let her go. Yeah. These clearly these, these politicians are like, no, I've seen demolition man in like 800 other movies where the sign gets burned down. You guys don't want it. We get the message. We hear you. Also, why are our politicians watching demolition man?

Most of the best politics that happened in the 80s, most of Clinton's administration was made off of Sylvester Stallone, Joel Silberkamp. Almost all of Antonio Villaraigosa's campaign promises were from Demolition Man. Prop 8 was Demolition Man. Guys, Prop 8 is dead. And you know why? Because the Demolition Man came in and destroyed it.

lit it on fire. I thought that DOMA was like Demolition Man. I don't know what the O stands for, but the D and the M is Demolition Man. Yep, yep, absolutely. So in 1996, things are...

Bad. So bad that one of the helicopter police pilots goes like, hey, remember when they used to let commercial airlines land in Los Angeles? What about when the city was on fire? That's the one thing he's regretting. Like, oh man, remember that? When commercial airlines would land here. That's a weird thing. Alright. I bought that one.

Well, by the way, in that first scene when Stallone throws a rope down and just shimmies down to the ground. He doesn't shimmy. He jumps out of the back of a helicopter and yells with Phoenix. First he says, send a maniac to catch one. Then he jumps out screaming Phoenix. Phoenix!

Phoenix, I'm sky fucking you. Also, at this point in the movie, though, you don't really know who Phoenix is, like where Phoenix is. So to just see him yelling, screaming, Phoenix. Well, that is like the problem with the beginning of this movie, which is he runs out, he does like basically the world's best bungee jump, and then immediately goes into killing mode. Like before he lands, like, whoa!

Bam, bam, bam, bam. That's the thing is he bungees out and he never goes back up. He bungees out to the ground and is like, click, click. He just jumped like half a mile. He lands and he misses no one and then proceeds to have an

mental knowledge of this abandoned warehouse as if he has studied it his entire life. It was like, ah, yeah, it's like going to mom's house. I know this. And meanwhile, it's revealed that he's been chasing Phoenix for two years and he finally found this place. So this is the first time. There's no recon on this building. No, he lands on the ground, shoots everybody, and as if he is like, has the map in his head, goes like, and Wesley Snipes is like,

wait, what? And then Stallone is like, ah, I'm here now, I got you. And I was like, at what point is Wesley Snipes not like, there were like 400 dudes that I feel like should be guarding me, but you got through all of them instantly. Basically, the beginning of Demolition Man is the end of an awesome movie that we did not see. And, uh,

I want to see the two years where like Wesley Snipes moves to L.A. then somehow works his way up in the L.A. like underworld. Where his family is murdered and so having nothing to live for he takes to a life of crime. Then builds a wall

all around LA. Set shit on fire. He goes to that beauty shop, gets his hair dyed blonde. One of my favorite moments too is like, he's like, where are those people on the bus? And he's like, and Wesley Snipes says, kidnapped, has abducted a bus full of regular people. And he's like, I told those bus drivers, don't come into LA.

but those bus drivers won't listen. It's like... That is their job. That's your beef is with the bus drivers of Los Angeles? And by the way, they're just doing their job, guys. Yeah. They are just shepherding us from place to place in the most humiliating vehicle known to man. What the...

These bus drivers, that's Wesley Snipes' anger. He talks so vehemently about these bus drivers. They can't come in here. It's like, why? They're not threatening your drug empire. They're just dropping people off. I don't know why they would even want to be dropped off in a city that is on fire. But if they want to, they're doing the job. Also, he's a guy, he's clearly wasteful because very early on, you see him do one line of coke but leave two behind. Yeah.

Just like, I'm going to come back to you guys. When I'm ready. Yeah. You don't go stale. How about this? At a certain point when Stallone is entering and Wesley Snipes realizes Stallone is going to enter, he punctures these gasoline tanks. So there's gasoline all over the ground, right? And so Stallone comes in and he's like, I got you, or whatever he says, right? Yeah.

Relax, everybody. Relax. And then Wesley Snipes is like, ha, you're standing in gasoline. Lights a cigarette and then says, what does he say? Something about like you're going to go up in flames or whatever. Some one-liner. Then he... Oh, he says it's cold in here. Oh, yeah. Let's turn up the heat or something. Yeah, yeah. Throws the cigarette. Flames erupt everywhere. Okay? But he's also standing in flames. Yes. Okay, so he's standing in gasoline. So flames are like...

All Stallone does, the only thing that happens to Stallone is he drops his gun. He's like, oh, that's hot. Oh, the steel got so hot in my head. Oh, God. But then he just jumps right out of it, jumps onto it. Nobody's on fire. But I'm confused. Did the gun get caught in the flames and then it got too hot to hold or did he just get scared and throw that gun down?

Because that's what it looked like. I hope it's B. It looked like he just like freaked. That's what you don't see when he's in the helicopter flying past the Hollywood sign burning is that he's like, oh, can't look, can't look, can't look, can't look. Tell me when we pass the fire sign. Tell me when we pass the fire sign.

I would love it if in this movie there was a thread that is like fire is his snakes to Indiana Jones. Why did it have to be fire? He's part Frankenstein monster and he's afraid of fire. The launch move is basically like a football player's tackle. It's just sort of like

just lunges at a guy. He has guns. He has knives on him, but it's just a little, it's a tackle. But he also, I realize, he does a lot in that movie of the sideways jump and shoot action. Before John Woo, it's like it was pre-John Woo. But that, it seems like for the 90s, the three-point stance thing that we see in movies now, that's what it used to be, was the sideways, like, goosh, goosh, goosh.

One leg up. Yeah. The one thing I remember about this movie most clearly, and it's not even about the actual movie, is I used to go to Planet Hollywood all the time under the guise... I would be like, Dad, take me to Planet Hollywood. That's where the celebrities hang out. What? I was naive. I was naive.

But I also met Anthony Michael Hall, so I was also right. - Oh, jokes on us. - Nice. - Jokes on us. - Nice. I thought you said celebrities. - It was pre-Destiny. - Yeah, that's right. I'm starting to beef with Anthony Michael Hall.

And I remember always wanting to eat under the naked Stallone demolition, because he gets frozen in this movie and it's like a block of ice, but it's kind of just naked Stallone. Really, and I just thought that was so cool. It's like, whoa, it's like he's in there. Wait.

Wait, and that was at Planet Hollywood? Yes, a big, like, giant, like, six-by-eight-foot circle with, like, a Stallone dummy inside. You know what they should have done is they should have had a table that was that.

You should have been able to use that as a table. And then when you would eat your fries, you could see his junk. Yeah. I have a feeling that there is someone who has that now and it is a table. Oh, yeah. It is. That would be the best table of all time. Guys, let's all chip in and get one of those.

Well, because once Planet Hollywood shut down, all that shit had to go somewhere. Yeah, someone had to buy Axel Foley's jacket. Yeah, I'm sure that they weren't like, hey, so Planet Hollywood's shutting down. Smithsonian, you guys want Stallone in ice? You guys want a bunch of garbage? Yeah. I mean, we're loading it up on the truck and driving it down to you guys. We were just giving you a heads up to move the Millennium Falcon. Hey!

There's a great line at the beginning of the movie said by the police chief in Leave a Weapon who like there after like he captures Phoenix and he's like hey enough of this demolition man shit. Like that's Stallone's M.O. that he just demolishes stuff. Keep this in mind okay in the opening of this movie upon capturing Phoenix

The entire building both explodes and crumbles to the ground. Like, in seconds. And they get away. And they walk out of that. But if you were to

understand why it was because was it punctured a couple cans of gasoline yes yeah well i thought it was also like a chemical factory guys all right maybe it was that that brings up something i really want to talk about which is the events of september 11th oh brother well here's the crazy thing stallone goes to jail because the hostages were in the building but nobody thinks to ask like wait did they die

Like, did they die from this explosion? Or were they shot in the head? Because we learn later on that they were jets. Major spoiler alert. Major spoilers. They had been killed by Phoenix. But by the way...

By the way, a very harsh sentence for a police officer capturing the world's worst criminal. Yeah, that guy started the fire. All he did was knock him out of the window and he's like, you're under arrest. He made a tough call. He made a tough call. But it would be

but it would be like in my opinion it would be like if stallone said it will blow up that building right then it would be a tough call wasn't snatched with the building he just escaped and i love you're going to jail i love that you have injustice you have a sense of like there is an injustice at the center of this movie an american hero is tried and sentenced to jail he is the only

He tried to take down a terrorist and as a result, some innocents died. Those are lives lost in the service of a greater good. What makes it worse is the fact that Wesley Snipes, as he's being taken away, is like, I told him there were people there. I told him there were people there and he said he didn't care. He didn't care. That's witness testimony. Send him to ice jail. Amazing Wesley Snipes impression. And it's like,

But by the way, it's as if the cops were like, yeah, we believe you, Wesley Snipes. Me act who has taken over Los Angeles over a cop who is a hero. But also, he's a maniac, too, because it takes a maniac to catch a maniac. Sure, that's true. That is true. Well done. Thanks for coming. Why is it an act, everybody? Why is it an act?

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By the way, we've only cracked into the first three minutes of this. By the way, I do have a question. The credits have not yet happened. That's true. This movie has a cold open. So, but are we to understand that he's been sentenced to jail forever? No, for 30 years. Oh, 70? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, 70 years. Yeah.

In the same jail that Scott Peterson was apparently frozen in. Yes, I pulled up a screen grab of that as they're going through their records. I didn't catch this. Yeah. As they're pulling up their records, I can show it to you right here. This is all the people that are in jail. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah.

Scott Peterson also had his parole hearing at 8.15. By the way, why would they listen like that? It says 7 a.m. Hyde-Quentin, 8.15, Peterson-Scott, 7.30, Phoenix-Simon. It should be the other way around. No, no, in the future, nothing happens in order. That was an evening parole hearing. They kind of knew that the Scott Peterson one, he had a lot to talk about.

So they both get frozen and this is before I think people even understood what cryogenics were because they basically put Stallone Han Solo like in a cube and then fill it full of water. He seems to be choking. Oh, it is just it is alarming. He's also naked. No need to be naked.

There's no real sign of life signs. He's drowned in what we're to believe, oxygen goo? Yeah.

Like, I don't like, he's drowning. There's no way that he's drowning. Oh, his lungs are filling with some sort of gloopy liquid and then they drop like a freezer thing in and it all freezes and he's like. I mean, it looks like a terrible way to get frozen. Oh yeah. That's for sure. Han Solo had it easier. The fact that they didn't say, so here's the thing, just lay down and put your hands on top of your thighs. They were like, no, we're going to put you in a weird hot tub thing and do whatever you want. That's,

Make a face. Do one of those guys. Whatever. However you want him, Rosen. That's your last choice. Like, that's the last thing. Because he is swimming around in there. He's like, because there's a point when the water, the goop is filling up. He's like, whoa, hey, whoa. Swim inside.

He also seems okay with it. The thing that really bothered me was that he wasn't like, hey, this isn't cool. I'm a hero. Yeah, and when someone, I don't remember if it's Smithers, there's an officer named Smithers. When someone's telling him what he's going to jail for and listing off all of the charges, he's just...

He refuses to hear it and keeps on saying, skip it. Yeah, skip, yeah. Just skip it. But like we all said in 1983, skip it. But the vibe though, the vibe though is like, he's been down this road a million times. Like he knows what's going to happen. And even the parole officer was like, hey man, real bummer. I hate to do this to you. I hate to freeze you for 70, but...

My job. He does say something like, I'm not a fan. And apparently that's like, cool.

Yeah. Like, no biggie. And by the way, yeah. Oh, gosh. Again, the first five minutes we are cracking into. I feel like Wesley Snipes is like, I'm not getting naked and you're not filling up a confined space with me. Although, he's in that trailer you played, there is Wesley Snipes in ice, which we never see in the movie, right? Never see in the movie, yeah. Maybe his trial was quicker. Guys, crack that code. Yeah.

So when you're frozen, though, like, hair doesn't grow on your body and your body doesn't age at all? What's this now? Well, he's got... He suffers from, like, below-the-ears alopecia. Oh!

That's either below the ears alopecia or like he went to a barber shop and had two different people working on him. Because he's got half of a box that's like, there's a fade that's not finished. And then he's like, you know what? Never mind. Diet. Diet. Just diet blonde. I got to get out of here. I got to get out of here. I got to commit heinous acts of terrorism. He can't spend all day at the salon. We cut to 2032.

Life has changed. It has. Big time. Apparently we all dress like Nazis. Nazis are extras in... The police. The police do. Nazis are bad extras in Star Trek Next Generation. It's like everyone's dressed like Guinan. Like big, flowy dresses and like plate hats. Yeah, or geisha. Welcome to Obama's America. Welcome to Obama's America.

They don't say phone. They call it a fiber optic. A fiber optic you back, which is odd. Yeah. Because that doesn't even seem like... No, they've just added... Because they've got no violence, they've like, we got time to kill, so let's just throw extra words. Homicide? No, it's a murder-death kill. Yeah. Is this a...

Is this a car I'm driving? No, it's a conveyance. Yeah. My conveyance is driving. We're getting in the conveyance. And murder, death, kill. I've thought about that a lot. Me too. Murder, death, kill. It's redundant. Murder, there's never a murder that doesn't end in death. So you can just rip the death out of there. Killing is also murder. Yes. So you can just say kill because that would imply death and murder.

You could just say murder, which implies kill and death, but you don't have to say murder, death, kill. Yeah. Okay, okay, Paul. Murder, death, kill. Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Go! I'm gonna murder Stallone, I'm gonna kill Schwarzenegger, and I'm gonna... I'm gonna death Wesley.

When we cut to 2032, we're with Sandy Bullock. Sandy Bullock. And she is like a uniformed police officer. Her name is Huxley, Brave New World, nice reference. Her movie is deep and it's smart. There's so many references in this. Did anybody else notice in the first thing, Stallone punches a guy who's dressed like the Terminator? Oh, no. Did anybody else notice that?

Right? There is a guy who's dressed like, yeah, there's this too. Oh, yeah. And there's a Schwarzenegger reference later on. There is. Wait, do you think that Wesley Snipes dyed his hair because Joe Pesci had done it in Lethal Weapon? Oh, my God. That's amazing. I did want to talk about this. Wait, do you think that's Joel Silver being like, Joe Pesci's blonde hair worked? We're going to do blonde hair in this. Yeah.

- Blonde hair is cool. Basically, just so you know, people at home, that Sandra Bullock is a big 20th century fan, so that's why her office has a Lethal Weapon 3 poster. Not even the bad, like one of the worst of the Lethal Weapons. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hang on, bro. - It's so weird. - I wrote up Chili Peppers, 'cause they definitely lasted. The Chili Peppers carried over to 2032. - 2032?

And there's a little joker. She's just obsessed with the 90s. Like, there's nothing wrong with that. Hey, guys, be cool. But she keeps on saying she's obsessed with the 20th. And what about this one? The great lyric. Oh, yeah. Chili peppers leave a weapon and a poster for the band Bomb.

fed love. What? Like, I feel like that was Joel Silver's kid. Yeah. And he was like, we gotta get into a little bit. If we put just a poster in the movie, we'll move some units. But she is a uniformed police officer in 2032 just driving her police car around and calls the prison warden. She calls the prison warden to say, hey, warden, how come there's no crime?

no crime. I'm bored. She's a police officer. Just a regular... It is crazy. She's looking for action, Lil. Does she know she's gonna get it? Here, I will say what they did predict was they did predict the iPad because the warden has an iPad, but it's just got a shiny silver frame. Steve Jobs, a lot of people think Steve Jobs got the inspiration for the iPad from this movie. By the way, when...

- True story, before he died he said that. - He said it as he died. Watch Demolition Man. - All the answers for Apple products are in Demolition Man.

And then X is over his eyes. He's dead. Well, that's why they included the script in that Jobs book. Yep, yep. The last appendix of the Jobs book is just the script for Demolition Man. So prescient. That's going to be my favorite part of the Ashton Kutcher movie is because in the movie they show him watch Demolition Man but they don't cut. They just show him watch the whole movie. Him jerking off to Demolition Man.

Because everybody knows Steve Jobs jerked off to Demolition Man. That's where we're at. And you can download this podcast on iTunes. It'll be ripped off iTunes immediately. So anyway, oddly, Wesley Snipes has a parole hearing.

for a mass murderer seems odd. Seems odd that he's getting a parole hearing before Stallone is voted in. Wasn't he sentenced to eternity? Yes! Wasn't he sentenced to eternity? But he'll run parole hearings just in case.

Like Stallone accidentally killed 20 people. He still has 40 years before parole hearing. Snipes gets one. He gets out immediately. No explanation how. Because he breaks out of cuffs. He doesn't do anything. Oh, no, no. That's because they programmed him. Yeah. The bad guy programmed him. He would have to be sentient to a computer to unlatch it. Like he didn't do like... No, he knew the code. The guy says, how'd you know the code word? Okay.

code word. Yeah, he said that word. He said like diddy pants and then it was. It was something that silly. It was like diddly pants and then the handcuffs opened up. And then they say how did you know the password? He goes I don't know. And that's why he's able to use all the like he goes up to an ATM and he's like like as if. Do you mean a self-esteem machine? Yes, exactly. Okay, yeah.

Wesley Snipes escapes very quickly. By the way, I feel like Wesley, I would like to look at the script because I feel like Wesley Snipes improvised every line. Every line. I feel like he was like, yeah, I'll be in this movie if I can't, if I don't have to say any of your dumb words. There's a scene where he's just speaking in Spanish and I happened to watch a DVD last night and the audio director's commentary was on it. He's like, yeah, Wesley just started doing this scene in Spanish and we thought it was funny so we just let him do it.

I'm proven right. That's crazy. That's why he talks to the parole officer. I love that you just said, and for some reason the director's commentary was on, as if you didn't turn on director's commentary. No, I didn't. Jude was my witness. He couldn't figure out the DVD. We couldn't figure out the DVD for a few months. I don't get that old shit, man. I'm all about Netflix Instant and Hulu. Oh, I'm about streaming. Yeah. So...

Here's what's really weird about this movie, though, overall. This is just a general comment. Is it a macro point? Yeah, I'm going to take it macro for a second because it's so, like, you don't know exactly what you're rooting for. Like, there's this new society and it is violence-free, but there are certain freedoms, like the freedom to eat fast food, that have been taken away from us. June, haven't you heard Dennis Leary's rant from his stand-up special? I did, I did. There are a lot of problems.

This shit's crazy. You're put in a position where it's like, as an audience member, you're hearkening back to the better times of 1996, which was like mass violence. It's like, what are we wishing for here? But at the same time, there are people today who are like, oh, it was so much easier in the 50s. And it's like, not for me it wasn't. Right.

Absolutely. I don't know what you mean. I don't know what you mean. If you are unclear about...

about why people are upset. Here is Dennis Leary's rant, which this is at the height of Dennis Leary being a stand-up, and I feel like they're like, do your thing, man. Just have fun. And Dennis Leary, just so you know, Dennis Leary is like, society has been rid of violence and everything's great and glossy and funny. And Dennis Leary is like the leader of the bad

people that live underground like in a kind of Matrix Revolutions kind of scenario. He's like a Robin Hood type figure. They do graffiti.

And by the way, their graffiti is amazing. It's unbelievable. And what they write in one of the first scenes of the movie is just simply life is hell. Yeah. Life is hell. And by the way, they have an anti-graffiti machine, which they show how it works, but it's just like poles that shoot out of concrete. So I don't understand how the graffiti disappears. You wouldn't get it, man.

But meanwhile, Wesley Snipes uses it to beat up people. So, we'll jack up the volume a little bit because these clips are a little bit low, but here we go. This is Dennis Leary's rant. See, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy. Because I like to think.

I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who just sits with a greasy spoon and wonders, "Gee, should I have the T-Bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with a side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I want to eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in a non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green gel all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've seen the future. You know what it is?

It's a 47 year old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Mayer wiener." You look up top, you look cock-toes away. What he wants, when he wants, how he wants. Your other choice? Come down here, maybe starve for good.

And then he breaks into his hit song, I'm an Asshole, right? That was that song that he had where he did a stand-in material during the song. The other great part of that is that, go back to that for a second. Jack Black is one of the underground dwellers. Oh, really? Yeah, go to the very end. Go to the very end. I saw it in the credits and I was like, that's, yeah. Wow. Amazing. Amazing.

That is awesome. Pre-Bob Roberts. Oh, wow, that's awesome. So that's the villain of the movie. Wait, that's the villain of the movie? Well, I mean, he is because basically Cocteau, the new guy... No, Paul. Cocteau is the villain. Well, but I'm saying Cocteau says he's the villain. Hey, Paul, why are you listening to Cocteau? Yeah.

The guy created a great St. Angeles, guys. Hey, man. I'm starting to think you're part of Cocteau's plan. Whatever. I like wiping my ass with three seashells. No big deal.

That's another weird thing. Why would you Flintstones it? Why would you go from toilet paper to seashells? Because according to Stallone, he asked the director, and it's quoted as saying, it was explained to me that the seashells, you hold two of them like chopsticks, and then you pull gently and scrape what's left behind with the third. What? So you are like, it seems way more...

- Wait, what? - Waiting for them to have a shit in the future. - Wait, but how is it cleaned? Wait, what? - So you're going chopstick style and as you are getting the middle of the log of crap, you're pulling that out and then you're taking the third shell and you're-- - So wait a second. - Get that on camera. - We're talking like, right, like this? - I think it's a pull, a pull and a wipe.

They didn't even know about the Cottonelle Soft White. That shit is so much more futuristic. But you can't, when you say you hold them chopstick style, so you hold two seashells with one hand? Yes, like that, and you're getting in there and you're pulling it out. But we saw those seashells. They were big. They were pretty big. And they were very clean. So you'd have to wash the shit off of these seashells. Like, who was,

oh yeah, that's actually more convenient than paper that I used once and dumped in the toilet. That makes no sense. Also, if you're somebody like, because it was how, it was, what it was, like there are like 80 year olds who should be alive during this time who were like, wait a minute, no, toilet paper, there was nothing, there was nothing about toilet paper that made us a violent society. Like toilet paper, if anything, kept us from being a more violent society. Yeah.

Why in your utopia that does not involve the rest of the country... Yeah, what is happening with the rest of the country? Do you get rid of toilet paper? And also, can we have the word homicide back? Because it's really murder, death, kill. The best part of murder, death, kill was when the computer reports like a 187 or like a code. And they're like, what?

You're like, well, what is that? I don't even know what that, well, let's look it up. Look up 187. Oh, it's a murder death kill. Don't you think as a police officer you would know exactly what that thing is?

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So basically, you know, we don't have to get into the big part of it. Stallone is unfrozen, Leslie Snipes is unfrozen, they wreak a lot of havoc in the future. Basically Futurama. Yeah. Wow, I didn't realize there were so many Futurama fans. But there aren't. Canceled a second time. Really? Really? Really?

Really? Then you should have watched. By the way, I don't mean to get back into the shit talk, but there is a moment, Sylvester Stallone is unfrozen. They bring him right to the police place. He gets in a uniform right away. He's fully a cop. And he's like, hey, yeah, to Santa Claus, by the way.

you had a toilet paper. So that means that he's walking around with shit in his ass. No, no, no, no, he was holding a shit. He didn't go. He didn't go. Because then he swears a bunch, he swears a bunch, and every time you swear, you get a ticket. So he swears a whole bunch, so a whole bunch of paper tickets come out, and he goes, thanks, I'll be in the bathroom. Yeah.

- Did you think he was just gonna go read those in the bathroom like a newspaper? - I thought he had taken his shit and was like, "Oh, damn it, there's no toilet paper." "All right, I'm gonna go out there, tell them the problem." Then get a bunch of tickets and wipe my ass. Like, he just pulled up his pants real quick, so he's got-- - Paul, Paul. - He's doing that scene for a shit in his ass. - Hey, Paul, how are you living?

What, do you live like an animal? Like, do you not check if there's toilet paper before you go? I think he was like, I've been frozen for 40 years. I got this goo coming out of my ass because there's all of it, everything. I need to shake this shit out. I can't hold it in. Oh, there's no toilet paper. And I'm freaked out. I gotta go out there. I'm embarrassed. This girl's kind of cute. I need to wipe my ass. I gotta be cool with her and just whisper. Let me ask you this, Paul. Also, bidets. They had bidets.

had bidets in the 90s and somebody was like, no, I figured out a method. I found three seashells. Three metal seashells they appeared to be. Paul, I have a question for you. When Stallone was frozen, he had a family, I think.

Oh, yes. He did. And when he asked about that family, here's what he was told. And then I have a mind-blowing question afterwards. Okay, great. I think we have the same question. I think we all have the same question. Yes. I think we all have the same question. By the way, if you are a fan of Scrooge... I'm just going to... Should we just go... Sandra Bullock is 100% his daughter, right? Yes!

There's no other way. Sandra Bullock is 100% his daughter. Thank you. Thank you. No, no, no, no, no. She knows. No, no, no. Does she know who Hunter is? No, she doesn't. She doesn't let her look it up. She's about to look it up. She's like, I can look it up. And he's like, no, no, no, don't do that. Because then when I fuck you, it'll be weird. Oh my God. This is like...

Old boy shit. Spoilers for old boy. Yeah. Guys, you rock my world. Right? Yeah. Right? The minute that happened, I was like, oh, she's his daughter. Then they had the sex scene and I was like, whoa. Yeah.

This is going to be really weird when they reveal that she's his daughter. But it was just mind sex, so you could kind of play it off. I was kind of okay with it. But then he kisses her, and I was like, barf. But then, and by barf, I mean barf out of my wiener, I came. But by the way, the way the movie ends, and spoiler alert, but it looks like he's going to go off with her. Yes, his daughter. They're together. His daughter? Come on.

This is a dystopian future. By the way,

explanation that's offered. I am wrong. There's no other explanation that's offered. Because they spend so much time. They spend so much time with where's the daughter? Is there a daughter? The wife is dead. We know that. But there's a daughter and blah, blah, blah. And I don't want to see the daughter because she won't like me because I've been in ice jail. But I want to fuck you, baby. I should make sure you're not my daughter. Oh, fuck it. Who cares? Yeah. First thing I do. One hole in this theory.

He was married. His last name was Huxley. Or his last name was Spartan. She's Huxley. How did you change your name? Who knows? I'm not worried about that. She may be remarried. She may be remarried. Who knows? His wife remarried. And by the way, it's like it's a new society. Who the fuck knows what happened? I love... Thank you. Thank you. I love... We are 100% on the same page. He's fucking his daughter. Yeah.

That's what also seemed weird when he was having mind sex and he was like freaked out by it. It seemed like... Because it's like a horror movie. Yeah, it was like... He was like kind of into it and then it was like, oh, wait a minute, this could be my kid. Yeah. Oh, I got to go. I really thought we were going to learn that information and that we didn't was very upsetting. Well, do you want... This is Sex in the Future. You guys want to watch Sex in the Future? Yeah.

The following scene is pretty amazing. I let it go long. Also, why do they fucking love jingles? We'll begin in a few seconds. Having sex, of course. I want to talk to Sandra Bullock about this movie. Stallone, again, great acting here. Watch this. What? Not cool.

Oh shit! By the way, it's filmed like a horror sequence. It's a horror movie. It's a horror sequence. Is this my daughter? Wait a minute. Oh yeah. We both have clefts in our chin. What? What? What? What's wrong? He broke contact. Contact? I didn't touch you yet. Wow. Guys, that just happened. What?

That is, I think, the most graphic sex scene I've seen, even though it's not graphic. It's like, he's a... The zoom-ins. The zoom-ins on his face. Yeah. Because you never see him naked. And by the way, this is a great look in the future. Just the tuxedo vest without sleeves. Yeah. Or tuxedo jacket without sleeves. Yeah, in a world where everyone's... It appears as if he has a right sleeve. Yeah.

- Oh, did it? - No, I think he had no, he didn't have either sleeve. But in a world where like everybody's a fucking wimp, like the fact that they're like, "Ah, but we're gonna go sleeveless to show off our muscles, even though we don't have violence or anything like that." - I have a feeling they gave him like a full out, like, "I'm ripping these sleeves off." - Absolutely. - Like I feel like he was like rip, rip, all right, now I'm back. - It's the same thing in Over the Top when the kid had a jacket and he was like, "I want this kid to have no sleeves."

I do like, by the way, that they refer to Simon Phoenix, the Wesley Snipes character, as maniac a lot. Yes, yeah. Stand down, maniac. The maniac is not listening. Yes, right. Why that?

That seems an overtly confrontational term. Criminal maniac, it seems. Or even just, hey, suspect. Why did they go in this future? They went zero to George Zimmerman. I don't know if you're the person I'm supposed to be stopping. But get on the ground, maniac!

Get on the ground, maniac. Oh, man. And then, so, but, but also the movie is based on this idea that Wesley Snipes needs to find the gun, but yet he steals a stick from a police officer that when injected into a car blows it up. Well, also... You know what? Fuck the gun. I'll take this stick that's

stick that blows shit up. What is at the museum though, the guns are all in like a glass structure and he behaves as though he's never seen glass in the 90s. He gets excited about seeing a cannon. Like an old school pirate cannon. He's like...

- Ooh, what have we got here? - Flawless. - As a child, he was never taken to a museum and that's why he turned to that life of crime. It says, it really says something about the state of public education. - Oh, here we go. - I'm just saying, perhaps if it was a little better, you know. - Yeah, he had a good time at that museum. He was learning. - Yeah, he went to like that school that the kids in "The Wire" went to.

And then was like, oh, this is going crazy. So in the world of Demolition Man, is there a world outside of San Angeles? You would argue that that would be yes. I mean, I don't know. Well, we do. We learned that there's an enormous earthquake that kills everybody, basically. A lot of lights were extinguished. If Sandra Brooks said, and my mother was also killed in that earthquake, it would have been good.

Oh. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was so, oh, but no, here, actually, this is why her name is Huxley. Because her mother died, her dad's in jail, she gets adopted, she never knew her mom. Oh, shit!

- Why it's an act? - He leaves twice in a show. - Two exits. Two bold exits. - Oh, here's another thing. When Stallone's trying to have sex with his daughter, he goes, "Oh, we're not gonna knock boots. "We're not gonna hunk a chunk up."

- Hunk-a-chunk-a? When was that a phrase for sex? - It was between '93 when the movie was made and '96 when the movie is set. - Hey, you wanna hunk-a-chunk-a?

- Yeah, I-- - It was really gross. - My favorite-- - I remember Color Me Bad sang a song, "Honka Chonka." Yeah. - One of my favorite things is once Simon Phoenix has escaped and they've thought out Sylvester Stallone, they're like, "Okay, well, we've run the computer program. "We know what he's gonna do. "He's going to, it is determined that he will try "and set up a drug lab and start a new crime syndicate."

That's just his, that must be his plan. And that made me furious. Because I was like, you are fucking assholes. If you think, like, and Sylvester Stallone rightfully is like, you guys are assholes. And I felt vindicated. Also, do you realize how long it takes to set up a drug lab? In this environment? It would be almost impossible. You have to even get...

on the idea of taking drugs. Right. And find a drug that they, like you're not, you don't have like weed or cocaine available. Like you're going to have to go into a lab and make some sort of synthetic drug. You're going to have to do human trials. Yep. You're going to have to make sure it's addictive. They can't stop graffiti artists. That's, yeah. It would be like

saying in this time it would be like he's gonna set up a loom factory and people are gonna go there and get tapestries like it's gonna take some doing yeah this is a seven-year plan his drug lab idea it's if that's seven years by the

It's also a very, yeah, low tier plan. So, but we come to understand when Stallone is... I'm sorry, they're always looking for him, but they can clearly find him because he curses all the time. Whenever he curses, the ticket comes out of the machine. It's like, oh, you just follow the cursing machines. That's where he is. They never use the cursing machines to locate him. By the way, great point. Great point. I'm a better cop than Rob Schneider. We all should go to the future and be future cops.

We come to understand that while Stallone was frozen, he was conscious during that entire time. Yeah, he definitely has that monologue. Do you want to hear his monologue? Let's hear your point first. No, let's watch it first for sure. Here's a great dramatic monologue from Sylvester Stallone about his time in cryo jail. I don't want to spoil your dinner, pal, but my cryo sentence was no sweet lullaby.

Exception, daughter.

What would you say if I called you a brutish fossil? Symbolic of a decayed era. Great. I love that lady. By the way, the guy from Beetlejuice playing the same character. Thank you.

I honestly thought the whole, like, her thing, she wanted to fuck him. Oh, yeah. And I was waiting for that moment where, like, he takes her into the Taco Bell bathroom. She... And it's like, I've done this before in a Taco Bell bathroom, but never won this. Nice. Yeah. She is wet.

I oddly got the, I guess the European version of this online and Taco Bell is replaced with Pizza Hut. - What? - Hi. - But they didn't change it all out so there are some scenes that like, you see a Taco Bell sign and then they say pizza. It's like, let's go to this Pizza Hut, but it's Taco Bell.

There's no Taco Bell in, I guess, far countries. I went to college at the University of North Carolina, and the one thing that I can take pride in is that fellow alum, Dan Cortez, was the piano player in the Taco Bell.

Combination Pizza Hut Taco Bell. I like that. I like that. Portes is playing on the piano like Jolly Green Giant. It's a great scene. Jesse the Ven-

Jesse the body Ventura is in this movie. Where? He's one of the thought out thugs that Simon Phoenix asks to be thought out. And by the way, a huge question mark on that one only because Simon Phoenix is like, yeah, if you want me to kill Dennis Leary, I gotta get a bunch of my guys out there. Oh yeah, sure, we'll release more crazy people in this world. And then at the end of the movie, those guys are not captured. They're probably forming that drug line. Oh yeah. Yes.

A few of them were talking about it, like, hey, we could really make a killing with a drug lab. Also, do you know, did he ever thaw out Jeffrey Dahmer? Because he was so excited about getting to meet Jeffrey Dahmer. Great news. John Hine is tweeting about the show. John Hine from the Howard Stern Show. He was just here.

I do know that the police don't seem too worried about Simon and Phoenix being out because at one point Benjamin Brad says, it'll just be a matter of TikToks until we find him. Again, overcomplicating the word time. Because in the future, we use longer and more words to say short things.

Here's what's so confusing about Sandy Bullock's character. She's set up as wanting to see violence and action so badly, but the second something actually happens, she doesn't do anything. No. Until later when she kicks a little ass because... Her instinct is to unfreeze someone else to get in there. Yeah, right. Her dad. Her father. Slash sexual partner. Yeah.

I mean, like, there's an argument to be made that she wants to see action because it's in her blood. It's in her blood. Genetic. That's why everybody else is docile and lame, and she has the blood of John Spartan in her. John Spartan? She has the blood of John Spartan in her, and she has, soon, she will have the semen of John Spartan in her. Oh, wait.

By the way, this is the interesting point of this movie. There's a part in this movie where Wesley Snipes threatens Cocteau, who's actually in on the whole thing, and we know that it's not a secret and it's not really revealed in an interesting way. And he runs away.

everyone just kind of takes a break. It's like, oh yeah, we're hunting that guy. Anyway, do you want to come to Taco Bell tonight? Yeah, let's go to Taco Bell. Let's go back to your apartment. There's a long period of time where Wesley Snipes, he escapes in the daylight. We catch back up with him at night and he's like, alright, here I am going down here. Everyone just took time off. Yeah, he jumped into some bushes and they were like, I'm not getting this fancy new outfit dirty. He is dressed like Criss Cross in this movie. Yeah.

He is full-blown crisscross. And for whatever reason, there's like a Demolition Man logo on the front of his overalls. I don't know where he got that. It was from the cryo lab. Yeah, they all got those plastic things. That's not a Demolition Man logo. That's just something from the prison. I will say in the Dennis Leary underground Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sewer world,

Why did the lady who made cheeseburgers look like Frida Kahlo? Yes. That was weird. Yes. 100%. She's alive and she's been living down there. That's her new resistance. Yep. In the future, Frida Kahlo, in this version of the future, Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera live in an underground city. And makes wrap burgers. Guys, let me just drop some facts on you about this movie and I want to hear your reactions to them.

Lori Petty was originally cast in the role that Sandra Bullock played. Tank Girl? Yes, and after a few days of filming, was fired and replaced with Sandra Bullock. Wow. A few days, so we don't know. So we have to get that footage. It's Eric Stoltz, Marty McFly footage. I feel like she probably tried to get fired. What the fuck? I'm fucking my dad? Yeah. Yeah.

The original movie was written for Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Amazing.

Van Damme was offered the role of the bad guy but didn't want that role. He agreed to star in it if both lead roles could be switched. But Zagala was like, well, I don't want to play the bad guy. So then that movie was scrapped. Here's two other facts that are interesting. Jackie Chan was supposed to be Wesley Snipes, but Jackie Chan said he didn't want to play a bad guy because Asian audiences don't like good guys who become bad guys. And then he has name-checked in it. Yes, because the movie is a big...

Jackie Chan fan. But in the European version, he says Bruce Lee.

He says, personally, not Jackie Chan. Oh, interesting. Here are two other things. These are all amazing facts. Wesley Snipes' kicks and punches look lurchy and awkward because he's such a good karate guy in real life that his punches were so fast that it blurred in the camera. Oh my God. So that made him slow it down. So it looks weird. That's amazing. And in Kuwait, the movie was simply called Rambo the Destroyer.

Rambo also name-checked in this movie. Wesley Snipes gets guns and is like, thanks, Rambo, or something like that. And then Luke Skywalker is also name-checked in this movie. There's a lot of pop culture references from the 1980s in 2032. Also, I am wondering if in the Expendables movies...

Sylvester Stallone wears a beret. And I'm wondering if he just took the beret from Demolition Man or if this is some kind of a nod to all the guys and gals who went to DemoCon. And where does that beret come from? Because other cops were not wearing berets. No, it was in his box. He had a box of stuff. Right, with yarn. Yes. Remember when he knit a sweater? Oh, that's right.

Remember when in one night Sylvester Stallone knit a red sweater? And by the way, by the way, he knit an entire sweater out of like one ball of yarn. Yeah. That's how good the rehabilitation program was.

I really thought that that was going to be fully realized and that was going to be paid off in a wonderful way, the final sequence. I want to learn to knit now just so I can start an Etsy shop called John Spartan. John Spartan sweaters for my daughter wife. Oh, God.

I wanted, before we go on to the audience, because I'm sure you guys have some things we might have missed, I do want to play a scene that Jason, which said that we should definitely play, and I agree with it. I'm going to pee while we do this, because it's too sexy for me to deal with. So, obviously, Wesley Snipes, from the way he's dressed, is pretty hip-hop. So, they want to score the fight scene. A little bit of hip-hop here. So, let's do the record scratches during this fight scene. Here we go.

Stupid

It's like an old Casio piano that you would buy. - Yeah, and then you never hear it for the rest of the movie. - Never again, never again. - They, throughout the movie, they hired different people to score it and then fired them. They would submit one song and it was like, "Huh? Get out." And then another person like, "But we don't have the budget to have them rescore the whole movie. Just let them do the next song."

That's your song? Get out. Because even at the very end, like when he's hanging, when Stallone's hanging from the grabber thing, the music there is like weirdly like orchestral, but like fast and kind of circusy. I feel like they, no one really knew what was going on, but they were psyched that it was happening. Like, we're doing something! Yeah.

The best in this sequence, though, is when they cut back to everyone in the police station who's watching violence, I guess, for the first time.

I mean, that's what I think that scene is about. They've never seen it. But like, so my question is they've never seen movies. They've never seen... Well, she's a 90s aficionado. Right, but... She must have seen some Stallone films. Right. I mean, no, she just has the poster for Lethal Weapon 3. Well, and Rambo is talked about, so Rambo exists. Did you use three seashells in there? What's that? Did you use the three seashells? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used three seashells. But that only...

That brings up a good point. There's a moment where, like, when the warden is killed, and they're like, bring him up on screen, and they show him dying, and they're all just like, huh, look at that. That's a shame. Yeah, that's a bummer. They didn't call for help, backup. They're like, oh, this is watching bleed out. Okay. Also, in 2036, I just want to, I just have to say, 2036, 2036,

I think there's only two women on the police force. Yeah. Like, really? There's Benjamin Bratt, too, and he's kind of a lady. Like, they really built it. Benjamin Bratt and Dennis Leary are gay. Like, at the end of the movie, they're together, and they're side by side, and he's like, fuck it! And Dennis Leary's like, high five! And there's a moment between the two of them. Yeah, because he gets dreaded. They change his clothes. They give him a makeover and rip the sleeves off his outfit and put a vest on him. No sleeves. Yeah.

They put a vest like, yeah, you're one of us now. Wear this vest. There are obviously some things that we missed, and that's why we go out to you, the audience. If you have questions, things that we might have missed, things you want to inform us about. Oh my gosh, this guy has a question. All right, your name, your favorite scene of the movie, and your question. Oh, he wrote it down on his iPad. Here we go. You mean on his fiber op. Read your fiber op.

My name is Chris. You thought way too long. I know. Well, he was reading. Move on. He was reading as he said it. My name is Chris. What I was actually thinking about is my favorite scene in the movie because there's so many great ones. I think it's the blood sugar sex magic, Luke 113 scene.

framing of Sandra Bullock's office. I just wanted to bring up that the director of this movie, which I had to look up because I was like, where did this come from? I just want to read the first line of his Wikipedia bio. Marco Vembrilla is a New York-based video collage and installation artist known for his elaborate recontextualizations of popular and found imagery

which Vanity Fair praises as critiques and masterpieces of visual overload. Well, that... That lines up. That lines up. Sounds like the guy that I want directing Demolition Man. And by the way, this movie is not, like, poorly directed. Are you sure about that? No, I agree. I agree with you. But I mean, like, in the grand scheme of, like, The Room. Are you sure about that?

Did you see that sex scene? Yeah, you're right. That's a pretty great video installation. Alright, your name, your favorite thing that Simon Phoenix did in your question. Here we go. My name is Tom. Favorite thing that Simon Phoenix did was actually the opening fight sequence when he just goes crazy to hip-hop music. And my question is, it's more of an explanation hope, but

Nice reference. This guy gets it. This guy gets it. I was wondering, the entire building does get blown up in the opening scene, right? So how did they find 20 bodies in a matter of seconds?

Very good point. Very good point. I think it's left out to the front, maybe. There is in the front of the building. Maybe the explosion. Here's what I think. I think Phoenix must have killed them by lighting them on fire or...

I don't think he put them in a dumpster and they were going through the dumpster. No, he said he froze them so that way because Stallone early on is like, I did a thermos can and there was only eight people in that giant building. And he says the reason you didn't know is because they were dead already. He froze them so that they wouldn't show up on the thermos can. The cops in Los Angeles thought that Stallone froze these people?

these people to death? No, no, no. That's what Simon Phoenix did. They thought the explosion, they thought that he was a cowboy and went in and just with reckless abandon caused the death of these 20 hostages and what they didn't know is that Simon Phoenix had already killed and frozen the hostages to frame John. Oh, I'm dying. I'm fucking dying. This is our lives.

We try and make sense of this for you. I'm looking for a lady. There's no lady in this area. Last question about that. So the cops found them frozen, though? The cops found the bodies frozen? No, because the fire, they've got flash fire. They really did just take Phoenix's word for it that they were dead. That's the injustice that I'm eating about. Yeah, you're right. This is the kind of world I don't want to live in, 1980s. Okay. Your name is...

What you would say to Simon Phoenix at his trial? And your question. You're a maniac. Good. Your name. Is your name? Okay, now what would you say to Simon Phoenix at his trial? Two quick questions. Number one, if they're trying to underplay the sexuality so much in this society, why did that girl, like, nude dial Stallone? Yeah, that's it. That was strange. And who did she think she was dialing?

Like, what was that? Yeah, the quick question was, doesn't the liquid styrofoam for a crashed car seem so much more inefficient and slower than airbags? Oh, yeah. I actually thought that that safety foam... I thought that that foam was a great idea, though, because the foam protects the entire car. Like, to me, there's no way, if you have a car that produces that foam, that you could ever die in a car crash. You'd suffocate, dude. What? You would die.

It would. It is filling the cabin with something that goes from soft to hard. So you would be killed. No, that's not what happens. Goes from soft to hard, ladies. Just like John Spartan. It protects you inside of it. It protects you inside of it and then someone has to chisel you out. Yeah, because you're dead. No, you're not dead. Because you're dead then. I did think of the naked vampire.

- The naked girl was interesting. That's a very good-- - This is like the first sexting, here's naked picture kind of scenario. 'Cause it's a phone call up here and there's a naked woman and she's like, "Hey, do you want a-- "Oops, wrong number." - But this is like the era where naked women in movies started, went on a decline a little bit. It was sort of like, actually, I just put some tits in there. That would be a fun scene, right? 'Cause it was so gratuitous. And even, there's no, they should just-- - I had no problem with that scene.

You're named. Why do you think John Spartan's a hero in your question? Go ahead. He's Mallory. It's my

Mallory. It's a family ties quote, guys. R.I.P. David Goldberg. Great Scott Valentine reference. Thank you. I think John Spartan was a hero because he didn't let anything stop him. Great. I like that. And I guess my question is that scene where he's in the museum and he's kicking the glass and then I guess the museum guard sees him and I guess I'm wondering

I'm wondering how socially stunted are they that they can't, like he's breaking into the thing. He's like, oh, do you need help? And then,

And then he's like, oh, how much do you weigh? And just chucks him. This movie posits that 30 years in the future we would forget 30 years ago. So that would be like, we have no recollection of, what would that be? 77. So we'd be like, yeah, I don't know what happened in the 70s. Unless that earthquake killed most people. I don't think it did.

And then lobotomized everybody else. And just, oh, oh, information's leaving my brain. It's one thing, it's one thing to be like, we don't have crime. It's another thing to be like, what is crime? You know? Like, that's a tough, that's a tough sell. Especially for people that are in their 20s. Yeah. Which means if they were

Like, they were born ten years after this. So it's not like... Well, like his cop friend. His cop friend who was flying the helicopter at the beginning of the movie. Like, nobody ever thought to be like, hey, man, you lived through this. You were a cop then. This, like, you don't remember what a 187 is? Yeah, why can't he be like, oh, no, that's a murder. Right. Death, kill. Yeah.

As you guys know it now. And then they'd be like, shut up, man. Just keep working on your little miniatures. That's my third wire. Is this Lester Freeman? That's my third wire. Is this Lester Freeman? Yes, yeah. By the way, Wyatt and I were talking about this. I love that guy because in the young version of him was Agent Johnson from Die Hard, which is just, you know, I like that. And I like that he's flying helicopters in both movies.

The problem is the actor who's the older version of him is like a foot and a half taller than the actor playing the younger version of him. We all grew. Oh, everybody gets longer. Your question, your name, what favorite piece of future tech in your questions?

Mike, my favorite pizza dootra tech has to be Taco Bell being every restaurant ever. My question or my point is, you guys left out the part of the movie that actually made me have to pause it and take a break and come back. And that is like people greet each other in the future. Be well. Oh, right. They put their hands close and they do a little circle. They go like that. Someone's face, but not. It's very weird. It's very weird.

It's very Karate Kid wax on, wax off. Although, you know what? If we all did that, we'd put that damn Purell family out of business. Well, that's the thing is they also don't high five. They come close to high five. They are like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But instead we're all... Well, they really don't make any physical contact with each other. No. No. Sex is outlawed because of the swapping of fluids. Yeah. Which we all understand to be disgusting. Yeah.

Who has a good question? Double hand raise if you have a good question. Holy shit! What is going on? Everyone's raising their hands. Your name. You okay? Your name, what you would call the first movie that leads into Demolition Man, and your question. Alright, the movie that leads into Demolition Man is probably White Man Can't Jump.

Alright? I like that theory. Well that's a trilogy and then after that it's Major League and then Major League 2 is pretty much happening at the same time as... Wait, so you're saying White Man Kent Jones goes into Major League 1, Major League 2, and then Demolition Man? Basically, it's happening while Demolition Man's going on

Alright, we're off the track. Here we go, questions. So, Mike, well it's more of a point leading in, okay, so at the start there's the fire going on and then Wesley Snipes says, is it me or is it hot in here? Or it's getting cold in here and he throws the thing on, yeah, the gas, but at the end it's like all frozen and cold and then so it says, is it me or is it cold in here? And then that just pisses off Wesley Snipes. So it's kind of like they're going full circle and like

Well, there is. There's another parallel about that because Wesley Snipes says something in the beginning about taking my head off. He's like, something, something, if you take my head off. And Stallone's like, oh, keep that in mind. And then in the end, he takes his head off. He kept it in mind for 37 years or whatever. Well, he had a lot of time.

to think while he was alive in that block of ice. I mean, people go insane in solitary confinement. People go insane. For 37 years, he's been awake and comes out and is like, let's get to work. And at one point, asked to be put in a moment of frustration, says, put me back in the fridge. Yes. All right, here we go. Not even the freezer, just the fridge. The fridge. He wants a lesser sentence. Okay. Question, comment, name,

Here you go. My name is Merlenes and I'm not very good with names of cars but there's one scene where they're on the ground and they have this like awesome red car. Like how is this like poor people have this awesome car and how did they get it down there? How did they get it down there? That's my question. It's an amazing question that basically the mole people had an elevator...

a Chevy dealership that just in case they needed to escape. Yeah, because we see them go down there a number of times and the only way it seems to get down, they seem to be able to get down is through like a sewer manhole cover. But also with that,

Wesley Snipes runs away and Stallone, rather than give chase, is like, wait, hold on a second. Can you start that elevator up? Because I really want to drive that GTO right now. I know I need to stop this terrorist that's trying to kill me and everybody, but I want to give this thing a test drive. Is that cool, Dennis Leary? I know.

I'm supposed to be protecting you, but is it all right if I... Like, I know... I'm going to catch him. He's on foot. There's no way. I'm just... Just let me put the car in the elevator. Hey, move past De La Huerta. Move your fucking burger shop.

so I can drive in there. Did anybody else think it was weird that the Dennis Leary people, the underground dwellers, their way of checking in on the real world is to have like a periscope that pops out of the ground? Yeah. And that twice Sylvester Stallone sees it randomly and is like...

What is that thing? And everybody else is like, what are you talking about? And he's like, I guess it was nothing. He's a groundhog. In 1996, he was a great groundhog hunter. And I was going to say, this is my favorite part. When he goes underground for the first time, Sylvester Stallone lifts up the sewer grate and goes, smells like biscuits and gravy. Yep. No, it doesn't. It shouldn't. No, it doesn't.

If it does, then that's a beautiful place to live, but does not seem like it matched. Especially because then he manages to find a hamburger, which he's been craving forever. Uh-oh. Nick Kroll just got here. Yeah! Y'all done with show? We're at. Everybody text Nick Kroll, no, we're not done with the show, asshole. Very close, very close, but not yet. Um...

He eats a hamburger. Turns out it's made of rat meat. But you know what? It's still pretty good. He doesn't mind it. Here we go. This is your final question. A lot of pressure on you to bring it home. No! We've got to get to Nick Kroll. Guys! Nick Kroll wants to text him. We've got to go, guys. All right, here we go. Your name, what you would say to Sylvester Stallone when he was on trial in your question. My name is John. I'd say it's not your fault.

Good answer. And my question is, could you guys just briefly talk about how Sandra Bullock tries to say these 90s phrases but says them wrong? What's there to say? After Simon Phoenix in a hole says, I'm going to go down there, I'm going to blow them. Yeah.

I wrote down a bunch of those. They're all terrible. Again, like, again, no language has not devolved. No. Like, I'm going to blow him. I'm going to blow him. She says, at one point she says, it looks like you've meet your match.

What? And she says, take this job and shovel it? Yeah. Yeah. By the way, if she saw we have a weapon, she would know that those are wrong statements. To anyone who is over 45 in that society, they would know those phrases. Sure. They have jingles from our time. Right, yeah. Why don't they have a book of phrases from our time? Also, why don't they have the book of phrases?

the music from our time. They clearly have the movie posters. The movie exists. They have posters for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but no music. Yeah. Was that the end? Like, oh, music can't get any better. Let's shut it down. Shut down the studios, everybody. We're not listening to music anymore. Just jingles.

Old jingles too. Like jingles from like the 40s jingles. Yeah, not jingles from our time. No, like oldies is for them from the 40s. Right. But just jingles. Yeah. Not songs. But not the, yeah, and not like the good ones like by Menon. Yeah. Like that's great, solid. If you want to watch some deleted scenes of Dan Cortez singing by Menon, you can see it. Yeah. Obviously we had opinions about this movie, but...

They're not shared by everyone. Now it is time for a second opinion. These are five-star reviews called from Amazon.com. People who felt very strongly about it. There's some good ones in here. This one's from JTS titled, "Beauty and the Cyro Cop."

I think she means like, well, okay, Cyro Cup is not right. This isn't all caps. Cryo? Does she mean cryo? I think she means cryo. It's spelled Cyro, though. So this spelling is always a constant in these Amazon reviews. Here we go. All caps.

Sandra's sweet innocence takes the edge off this tough guy film. She is the Spartan, what Adrian, spelt like Alderaan, was to Rocky. The special effects are great, some of the dialogue lags at times, but the strength of the characters carry this one through. Check out the end.

Wow. All right, Sandra Bullock wrote that review. Sandra Bullock wrote that. I own this title and have seen it 60 times. Worth a sequel? I think so. Good fare.

Do you think any of the people who listen to our podcast, when they hear about the movie, go and write five-star reviews, hoping that they might get picked? I never take anything that's written past, like, 2009. Well done. So nice try, assholes. I like this movie. A good thing about it is there is profanity, but they don't abuse it like they do in Pulp Fiction. LAUGHTER

In that movie they say the F word so many times it loses its meaning. Also, Snipes is pretty funny at times throughout the film. Five stars. Okay, this is my... I think this goes up in the pantheon of like favorite Amazon reviews because it really takes a turn. From Geek Mom: This is my most favorite movie ever.

There are so many quotes in this movie that are relevant to today's society. It's a great action flick with some of my most favorite actors and the crazy humor in it makes looking at what we're going through today almost laughable. I wish more people had seen it and then they'll understand what's wrong with today's Congress and why they need to stop voting for progressives ASAP. This is the kind of world we'd be forced to live in if the progressives continued to thrive.

Nothing would be legal and government would monitor and pay for everything you do. Truly frightening. Five stars. Amazing. I will say...

I will say watching this movie, there was something about it that felt like, oh yeah, if you listen to Glenn Beck, like Glenn Beck would love this movie as like, oh, this is the dystopian future that like liberals want because, oh, everyone wears the same outfits and there's only one restaurant. Like you get like, like there's no money anymore. And I agree with it. But what we came from in 96 was so terrible.

Right. And in 96, that was Clinton. Right. That was like, oh, Clinton caused Hollywood to catch fire. And then... No planes to land in LAX anymore. No commercial airliners. Yeah. Like, everything about the movie seemed like a liberal complaint. Like, it sucks now that Clinton's president. Everything's on fire. And then it only gets worse. Yeah.

We can't curse no more. This movie asked a lot of questions and did not do a lot of answers. I feel like we got the bottom. Would you recommend seeing it? I know I would. Yes, recommend. Strong recommend. Yeah. I mean, if the choice is that or like Winter's Bone. Demolition Man. Even though Sandra Bullock's going to get a Winter Bone, right? Yeah. With that John Spartans ice cream.

dick. And by that, we mean her father's penis in her body. Also, Sting did the theme song. Oh my God, you're right. How about that? And I wonder if Sting asked, like they were like, hey Sting, you know, Sandra Bullock's character is like in the 90s things. We were thinking about putting up a poster of you. No, it's all right. Don't do it. Don't fucking. That's good. We really want to prominently feature 10 Sumner's Tales. Nope.

That's fine. That's cool. I'll keep it away. Here's a Red Hot Chili Peppers post. You sure? Soul cages? You don't want us to put soul cages up? Nope, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm going to continue having tantric sex with my wife. You cannot put any of my movies in there. Really? You sure? No soul cages? Absolutely not. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. I saw that tour, guys. Saw that tour. Just saying. Do you think he does the theme song in concert? I don't know.

Like, I can't... Stephanie Encores with... No, wait a second. Can somebody settle something? Did he write it for this or was that a police song? It was a police song! It is a police song that was appropriated for this. All right. Um... Oh, so much. Oh. Even worse. Sting, you did it. You did it. You did it the best way you could. Uh... Well, thank you guys so much for coming. Give it up for everybody for Wyatt Pack! Oh,

Hear that? That's what cooked when you order juicy beef sounds like. The steaming hug of two slices of melted cheese, the crunch of tangy pickles and sliced onions, all topped with a toasted sesame seed bun. That's the sound of a quarter pounder with cheese. First Beef at participating U.S. McDonald's. Excludes Alaska, Hawaii, and U.S. territories.