#49 Nothing
01:37:45 Share

What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetti, sitting here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. Welcome, everybody. I feel like my voice is tired. It feels tired. Yeah. You know, I think I was starting to lose it. Your voice? Yeah, I'm not losing it, but it was like it just felt tired. Yeah. It was a big, long weekend, a bunch of shows, stuff.

I don't know. It sounds, it does. Doesn't sound tired. Like it sounds, you know, uh, but it is, it is what it is. You know, did you say two out of three men lose their hair? Yeah. 35. So I think we got one of us nailed down. Yeah. Someone else. Uh, uh,

So, yes, thank you, everybody, for listening. As always, let's start with some comments from YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Apple Podcast Reviews, and email nateland at natebargatzee.com. Audra Mayberry. Hello, folks. Right off the bat, starts off the comments about the wrestling episode and mentions the famous wrestler under the taker.

I saw someone post that, and I mean, no one called it in here. Well, no, it's such a weird thing to do that we didn't think. Under the Taker. I mean, it was five minutes into the podcast. That was the name of the guy that wrestled him with just the red trunks, because that's where he was the whole time. You were under the Taker. That's what someone would have tried. His friends would have said that. You should go by Under the Taker. What's that? Well, you were under the Undertaker the whole time. Yeah.

I've never been able to so clearly see the thought process. You start saying Undertaker, and then you remember it's the. Yeah. Undertaker. Instead of starting over, you're just like, I'll just throw the the in. Yeah. Don't go back. The middle. It's just getting everything in there. It's like when you forget to pack something.

In your car. And then you're like, you know, you're like, ah, the pillows. You just jam them at the top. But they're in there. Don't repack. Just throw it in there. Just put them in there. Under the taker. Ben Patterson. When Aaron said apple-ness, Nate gave him a stare like Michael Scott gave Toby when he asked him, why are you the way you, why are you the way that you are? Apple-ness. Why did you say apple-ness? You said what makes an apple an apple. Oh, apple-ness. Yeah.

He did have to look like my boy. Why are you the way you are? Because of the apple-ness. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they would say in philosophy. Right. Yeah. Jose Vinta. One time my family went to Disney with my grandma, who was pretty old at the time. It was time to go to the Tower of Terror ride, and I'm scared of rides that drop. So I told my family that I would stay back, keeping grandma company, to which grandma replied, I'll go.

Then my family motioned everyone to go, so I said they could go ahead and I'll stay behind with Grandma's wheelchair. So I sat there on the wheelchair, and a couple of people asked me if I was okay. I guess a lonely teenager in a wheelchair with no family around is caused for concern. Anyways, my grandma survived, and we used her wheelchair to cut in line the rest of the afternoon. I had the same thing. My grandmother rode that ride. I don't know if it was that one, but it was one. I mean, she was...

at the time like in her 70s and she and she was down like we had we had people that didn't want to ride it and then she was like i'll go and she rode it is that tower of terror ride just like an elevator that just drops yeah i've done it yeah you just kind of go up and then it goes out then just drop straight down yeah yeah no i don't like that at all you don't like going straight down no i don't like going down the elevator is too fast i get weirded out sometimes yeah i

I was just in Miami. We had the elevator. It was really fast. Very fast. I liked it because it's very quick. Right before we get on the elevator, this other group is on. Because, you know, you're still like, are people getting on? I mean, like sometimes you can tell people don't care, but when it opens up and you're like, oh, I won't have like, you'd be sitting there without your mask on. Yeah. And then that door opens and like,

So there's like one person with a mask on and two don't. And that one is just mortified. And you have to let a lot of them go. But I hear the guy, he's explaining to the other two people as they get in the elevator. He goes, he said, yeah, I got elevated. It's one time, third floor, just dropped all the way to the bottom. And he's like, beep, beep. And then they go in. And you're like, why would you tell that story? That is like, just tell it.

When you get out. Yeah, exactly. After you're done with it. Yeah. I mean, I didn't want to get on the elevator then, but I mean that guy, yeah, he said he has one dropped from the third floor from third floor. I mean, that can't hurt too bad. Three floors is a lot. I was going to say, that's a pretty high up, man. And I'm sure there's something in an elevator that makes it like, there's gotta be something grabbing it. Like, I don't think it's a clean cut. There's just so many cords back there, but he says, yeah, he said he dropped. I always think about time in the jump. Yeah.

You'd jump right before it hits. I don't think that would do anything. You'd still hit the ground. I bet it'd be hard to get up because I feel like the forces are going down so quick that it'd be hard to –

Yeah, even if you jump up, you're still going down at the speed that the accelerator is. And then you don't know where the floor is at. I mean, you'd have to have a number. The number has to be like three, two, one. And then you jump in. I was at a pretty old Comfort Inn this weekend. It was the slowest elevator I've ever seen in my life. I mean, there was only three floors. It would take forever. You're like, are there just multiple people getting on it? And it was like, no. It's just creeping. Yeah.

Yeah, that's elevators are, you know, claustrophobia, you feel it a little bit. Like I always just think if I get stuck in one, it's like, I mean, I always think about that.

Sometimes I'll think about getting elevated and there'll be three people. What if we got stuck in here forever and we had to start over? I'm just looking at all of us. Who's going to be the leader? Three of us on an elevator locked in there. It's never like the movies where in the movies there's always panels. You slide open and crawl. I've never seen that in a real elevator. I look up to see if you could open one. But there it's

I mean, Dwight in the office when they got in, he peed in the corner immediately. In the first 30 seconds. He was grabbing his corner and his dominant. I always think with claustrophobia too, like if I got stuck in there, like say it's like, you know, like four people in there that you don't know. It's like I didn't have to tell those four people like, hey, just heads up guys, I got claustrophobia and it's just a ticking time bomb. Yeah. I'm going to lose it. I'd have to quickly say that. Uh-huh.

I mean, everybody, you know, then you just probably elevate the stress of the whole elevator. Right. Right. I feel like don't you think everybody would get some degree of claustrophobia on an elevator like that for a while? Yeah, but I'm rolling in hot. Like, I mean, I'm, you know, I almost had it when everything was normal. Yeah, you're preheating. Yeah. And so it's like I'm coming in quick. And so it would be, it'd be very tough. You know, you got to explain, I guess you have to tell everybody.

You know, just let them know. I mean, we didn't get into it last week on those theme parks, but there's cases of people getting trapped on rides, like upside down. Yeah. I've seen the videos. There's some that get stuck at the very top. I think, like, just about to go over the hill, and they're just up there. And they're up there for a long time. Hanging upside down? Yeah. I don't think anyone has been hanging upside down. There was one I had last week. They were upside down for about 30 minutes. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Some on the side. Oh, my gosh, dude. And that's enough to make you not. Yeah. You know, it's like if someone doesn't want to ride one, you're like, well, that does happen. It doesn't happen a lot, but it happens. But it's not a crazy thing to worry about.

It shouldn't. I mean, your odds. I always think with those odds and stuff like that, it's almost like if you look at it backwards, you'd have to be pretty lucky to get on the one ride that hangs out upside down. It's kind of narcissistic to be like, it's going to be me, of course. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have to be...

Because if you think of it like that, you're like, what are the odds? Like, say, if you were riding that roller coaster and you're like, I'll give you a million dollars if you're the one that gets stuck upside down. I mean, there's people that do it, but the odds of you doing that are pretty low that you get to be on that one. Yeah. You know? Mm-hmm. So I think that with, like, airplanes. Mm-hmm. What are the odds? You're the one that goes down. Mm-hmm. I mean, it's just like, you know, I mean, now, if you're in it, you're like, oh, I'm

Then you're like, I won. Yeah. So then as it goes down, you're at least positive attitude going. I did it. I did it. I can't believe I was the one. Yeah. Yeah. It's all worth it. Melissa Miles. Nate's short rant about the inappropriate use of let's go is my favorite Nate rant to date. My 12-year-old says it while watching Clemson football, but he also says it when I bring home his favorite snack from the grocery store. A 12-year-old saying it is like that's who should be saying it. Right, right.

Like, I understand as a parent that you – I would be like, all right, let's calm it down. Where did I hear it? I was watching a golf thing with Keegan Bradley. It's like players' lessons. They have a great thing on Golf Channel. And he said, let's go. He had a shot. He goes, let's go. The people – I don't – they do. They just don't know they're saying it. Yeah. It's like they're saying it so much that it's, you know, let's go. Like, oh, God.

It's so. So a 12-year-old's okay. When are you supposed to grow out of it, you think? 13. When do you stop? So he should be about done. So let him know he can get it all out now because he needs to be done at 13. Melissa was using him as a role model. Yeah. Now you're like, it's okay, you're 12. Well, I'll tell you, he's got until 13. 13 has got to be a wrap. He can't be doing that no more. You've got to come up with your own phrase.

That's what you got to do. Just come up with your own thing. See if that can catch on. Yeah, yeah. Let's Go has been, you know. Beat to death, for sure. I mean, it's unreal, and it's over. I mean, Tom Brady says it, and then everybody thinks, well, I should say it too. I've never ran on a – I've never ran. Like, it's like, you know. Yeah, I don't know. It's tough. Sarah Rapp. Nate, it is elephant shoes, not elephant foot.

Elephant shoes. Yeah. What was that? I love you. Say I love you, elephant. I used to say olive juice. Yeah. That was ours. People commented that too. And they said that? Uh-huh. What does that look like? It looks the same. Yeah. That's the same thing. I think you said I love you. No. I thought you said olive juice. That's what I was. Can you imagine if you did that and someone knows that you're saying olive juice?

And you're going, just say it, dude. Why can't you say olive juice? He goes, I don't have any, by the way. You can't just buy olive juice. I guess it's in olives already. So I guess you can buy it. You just buy olives and then there's the olive juice. The juice is in there, yeah. Do people drink? I know pickle juice people drink. Do people drink olive juice?

I don't know. There's not much juice in there. They're packed in pretty tight. Yeah. Not a lot of juice in there. Just water. I don't think it's specifically. Yeah. It's not a special kind of. Sonny Collins. Has anyone verified that the dad scoring tickets for his son who made good grades is not Gary Veeder's dad? Now the guy is asking for a ticket for his wife. When's it going to end? Could be Gary Veeder's dad. Yeah. He's back in the system.

We'll let you know if you ask for money. That will be the sending over the edge. Main gang. Main gang. Fun fact, Spielberg's people approached the makers of M&M's about using them in the film. They declined, which is why it's Reese's Pieces in the film. Big mistake. Big mistake. M&M, they would have done a lot better if they would have made it.

I mean, I'll be honest. Eminem might be like, yeah, we're fine. Yeah. Like Reese Speaks. Yeah. Yeah. Reese Speaks. It's not the go to snack. No. Eminem is showed Spielberg. Yeah.

A few people pointed out that you called them Reese's Pieces. Yeah, Reese's Pieces. Instead of Reese's Pieces. Oh. But I think that's a Southern thing. Reese's Pieces. I mean, my grandmother said that. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I kind of say that, too. Reese's Pieces. Yeah. Yeah. We're not giving them. There's someone named Reese that's like, no, they're mine. They're my pieces. They're my pieces. And you're like, no, they're Reese's Pieces. We're watching E.T. tonight.

All right. Yeah. Yeah. Because Harvard's starting to want to watch some movies with real people. Yeah. That's good. She said, you always show me cartoons. That's good. And so we said, all right, we'll show E.T. First movie I saw at a movie theater. It's crazy. You drove me one. You want to see me with real people, so we'll show you one with an animatronic alien. What didn't we cover last week? It came out when you were three? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon Chapel. The Nate Land theme park would have a deal that costs $10 a month for a season pass, but the only way to cancel it would be to go to Aaron Land, which is located inside the Nate Land park, but nobody can seem to find it. I like that a lot. That's great. Yeah. My buddy Justin texted me and said the whole –

The whole theme park would be leg day, so it's all just gradually uphill. And so by the time you get to the end of it, you don't realize it was leg day until the next day you wake up. You're like, my legs are killing me today. It was leg day. It's all leg day. It's all leg day. The whole thing's leg day. Matt Parrish. At the Nate Land theme park, there would have to be a ride or game called Don't Shake That Baby in One Fell Swoop.

Yeah, that'd be good ones. How would the game Don't Shake That Baby work? They give you a baby that's crying. Yeah. And you just see how long you can go without shaking it, yeah? Yeah, I guess so. I bet it'd be something like the baby's asleep and you shake it and it cries. It's the only way for the ride, I guess. Because, I mean, it'd be pretty tough to play a game that's like, so the baby's crying the whole time. You're like, well, I don't want to. And that'd be a brutal game. I know.

That would be the challenge. The challenge is like, it's just crying and you got to make sure it doesn't, you don't shake it. This is the worst. Yeah. It's the worst game ever. If you go two minutes without shaking it, you get a stuffed teddy bear. Yeah.

imagine you guys sitting in a rocking chair and it's just wailing you've just got a litter of kids like babies there you just pick one up you gotta pay that guy more that runs that imagine that guy that drew the short straw that day that's like worse than if you run it's a small world they always say like those people that work there it's just all day that

I mean, imagine this baby's crying and you got to sit there and you got to make sure. That would be a fun theme. Like, I mean, just imagine going to that, like, and you're explaining that ride to somebody or that game to somebody. You're like, God, why would anybody play that? You're like, you know, I don't know, but you end up playing it a few times. It gets addictive. Yeah. I mean, because the cry has to just keep getting elevated. Then we have the baby hit you.

The whole time you're getting hit with those foam. You know, football, how they always hit them with the foam. Oh, yeah. Bats. Trying to knock the ball out. Like, we just had that, too. The guy has to walk around just hitting people. Bam, bam, bam, boom. Baby crying. All you got to do is stop this. Shake that baby. Shaking baby goes up in the county, like in real life. They do the stats. Now we're in a...

We have to ask what the source was and where those stats come from. It's a lawsuit going on. They pull up a graph of it. Yeah, here's a chart. Here's a chart of how many babies are being shook. Greg Cannon, on every new ride at Nate Land theme park, there's a lady that leans over a guy and says to you, hey, you need to cut your phone off. Yeah, you know, I always get asked. That's an old joke. People ask if I ever found that lady, and I did not.

I bet she found you. Yeah, I hope so. I've got another joke now in my new hour where it's another lady that did something. See if we can find her. It'd be interesting to see. I mean, we found that. Did we talk about that? The Cape Fear Serpentarium. Did we ever tell that part? We found the kid that had to get bit by the snake.

You used to tell it in your act. Yeah. Yeah, so like, yeah, the Cape Fear joke where the kid got bit by the snake. I can't remember the snake now. Gaboon Viper? Yeah, Gaboon Viper. And we've found the story about that kid. And so like, the doctor actually emailed me.

The guy that was the doctor. That's why it's fun to do these jokes. Yeah. Because it's like he gets out. And then people are like, hey. And that doctor emailed and said that kid, he got on the bus with the snake in the bag. And was like white or whatever it does to him. And the bus driver knew about snakes, was into snakes. And could tell. He's like, could tell something was up.

And then was like, what was it? And then looked at the snake and was like, yo, dude, you got to go to the hospital now. You're going to die. And I think the bus might have drove him to the hospital. And then the doctor worked on him that day. And then that kid just ended up

Still not. He didn't get it together after that. Let's just say. I don't know. I mean, the kid's probably still alive, but he just got in trouble. I think he didn't went to jail much later for stealing a car. Oh, really? Yeah. It wasn't like that stopped him. He just, you know, he knew what he was doing. He's like, this is what I do, man. He's like, I mean, just. Cost of doing business, dude. Cost of doing, yeah. Get bit by a snake sometimes and just keeps rolling. Yeah.

Sally Ann Jones. I was one of Disney World's first Princess Anna character performers. I think there were only like eight of us playing the role when I started, so I was part of the insane, frozen craze of that year. I was cracking up when y'all were talking about the divide between the old characters and the new characters because that was totally true when I was there. Anna and Elsa were the, like the stuff thing.

with lines up to eight hours back then. However, most performers play more than one character. I performed as Ariel as well, so I wouldn't say it's too hostile between the old and new. Princesses really do love their jobs, and it was really hard for me to leave it to go back to college. I do feel so lucky to have been able to make magic for so many folks from all around the world. Yeah, she was in it. I mean, that was the top.

You know, your daughter may have met her. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I bet. I mean, your whole, you just got people just telling her like we were there.

I think when you were there, do you remember us at all? And she's like, I mean, all these kids just blend in. She's like, I remember one kid with all of your faces. Yeah, and not for good reasons, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's got to be fun, though. You're just seeing these. I mean, you just. Just making people's years, dude. Oh, every kid. Every kid that comes up is like, you're her. And then you're like, yeah.

Yeah, I am. I am her. Yeah, yeah. Chris Ramsey. Kings Island had a meal plan where you can eat a meal every few hours at a number of the in-park restaurants. My buddy lived and worked just a few miles away from the park, so he bought a Kings Island pass as well as an annual meal plan. He would drive to Kings Island on his lunch break as well as after work to eat for free. I always thought he was a genius until he eventually developed gout. Yeah.

Just took a turn. Which I attributed to his theme park calorie intake. Caloric. Sneaks up on you, man. Caloric? Caloric. I don't know what that is. It's calories. Well, why would you not say that? Because it's used as an adjective in that sentence. Oh, man. Did you know Chris Ramsey? Did y'all run in the same circles? Caloric intake.

No, I know his buddy, though, who has gout, for sure. Which I attribute to his theme park calorie intake. You couldn't say calorie intake? You could say intake of calories, or you can say caloric intake. To his theme park intake of calories. Caloric. What makes you, like with a word, like calorie, and then you're like, all right, great, we're done with that word. And then someone's like, what if we use it a different way? And you're like, I don't know.

Just put a C on the end of it there. Like just caloric. Is there just a C? Well, just say caloric then. Okay. All right. That works. That works. And then they type right that out. Yeah. I did caloric.

It's pretty smart, though, going to his buddy. Using caloric? No, not using caloric. I'm less impressed with that than you are, I think. Yeah. I would have done exactly what this guy. I would go there. That makes unbelievable sense. I used to live with a guy who would go to the movie theater every

Not buy a ticket. He'd just go shop at the concession stand. Oh, yeah. And then take it home. Wow. He would just show up at home with like a... It's the most expensive place to buy it. With an extra large... He just loved movie theater popcorn. Okay. Yeah. So he'd come home with an extra large popcorn. I go, did you see a movie? He goes, nah, you can just go in and use the concession stand. You'd never think to do that ever. Yeah.

Well, it depends on where they got that line at. Yeah. Where the ticket... Usually it's outside before you get your ticket pulled. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like they caught on to that guy and then they just moved those people up a little further. Is it different now? Yeah. I mean, if you go... It depends. Yeah. It varies. So there's some where you can tell you can't get to concessions until you give them the ticket. Hollywood or...

Hollywood 27? And Opry Mills. Opry Mills was like that. Opry Mills, you had to do that. But that's in a mall, so I bet they're trying to... I bet there's maybe a few of this. Yeah. And then some of them, yeah, you can have... The guy is right in front of the theaters. I feel like it depends on how many theaters they have. If it kind of gets...

Kind of wild back there. Uh-huh. And they got to be able to stop it. You know, they got to stop you at some point. They have multiple ones some places too. They have like another smaller one out there. Why would they care though if he did that? I don't know. It seemed like they would encourage it. Yeah, if you want to spend $8 on a tub of popcorn. Why don't they care if they did that? Yeah. Nobody ever stopped him.

I bet you could tell them, hey, I'm just wanting this popcorn. I'm going to leave. And then they would. I mean, but it's not like that would work if the owner was taking the tickets and he's like looking for the money. It's a kid. Yeah. That's like, yeah, you can't do that. And the owner's like, dude, let him. He has to talk to him. He's like, let him in, dude. Yeah, dude, we don't care. We don't. God, it was $8. Yeah, cost us one cent to make, dude. We used to go see movies, two movies. That was a big comic thing.

I think it's a big everybody's thing. During the day? During the day. You do it all the time. You just go sneak in. I remember when we saw Paul Blart, we went to... I was with my... I feel like I was with my buddy Dustin, who's with me in Naples, Florida, coming up in two weeks. But he did... We would go and we'd see one movie, and then we went to... We were like, hey, let's sneak in and do Paul Blart too. And so then we would just go walk into Paul Blart and sit and watch that.

And, but it was, that movie was sold out and two people had to sit on the stairs. Yeah. Because we had our, their seats. And I, I mean, I, and I'm just not, I was like, we got to go. That's good. Like, it's fine. We're already in like, you know, they know someone's didn't pay for these tickets. And so it's like, you're like, you got to just act like you're there.

And I mean, I think we were too old. I think we were just too old. Too old to be doing that. We're too old to be doing that and too old to be where they're not going to come up to us because it's like, well, those guys are in their 30s. Yeah, watching Paul Blart. Yeah, like they are clearly, they clearly bought tickets and have been waiting for this day. We just look like Paul Blart was made for us. Yeah, yeah. You know, if it's like teenagers, you're like, well, that sums up. Yeah. Yeah.

But there, yeah, we used to, that would always go see, you'd always go see movies. Go see a couple of them. All right, maybe, y'all never did that? You ever sit through the same movie twice in a row? Oh, God. No. I didn't know something could be worse, but it's happening. What movie? I don't know.

Braveheart. I remember Lord of the Rings, the third Lord of the Rings. We did that one time. A three-hour movie? Yeah, it was pretty long. You did six hours? It was a full day. Yeah. What did you want to see? You liked it so much? It was a great movie, man. Yeah. I don't think I ever watched them. They're pretty good. Yeah. No, I bet they are. Again, I think my age was kind of just like... Yeah, I was in...

Third or fourth grade? Fourth or fifth? And your family stayed? Everybody stayed? No, I went with a group of friends. Yeah. They just dropped you off and y'all went in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's good times, man. Yeah.

You told your parents beforehand? You're like, hey, we're going to stay for twice? No, I don't think I did. We didn't have cell phones, so they just kind of... How were you getting home? You're in third grade. I mean, that is Harper's age. I think I was fourth or... It's like Kramer's pants. Yeah, yeah. How were you going to get home? It was probably more like fourth or fifth grade when that third man came. I'm still nine, ten years old. You have one parent that'll give everybody a ride. We just get rides home. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you're, so you're nine, 10 years old. You say you don't think Harper could duck out to the movie theater and watch. She'll be nine in a month. Uh, I don't think we're going to drop her off. I mean, I get the idea of dropping her off, but I think you gotta be teenagers before you really, even if I'm going to come pick them up, I could see like, even if you go pick them up and you're like, Hey, we're going to drop you off. And they're like, uh,

Just call us on the pay phone or something when it's time to come. Could you walk home? I think we had a buddy that lived next to the movie theater. We could walk to and from his place and go from there. It's a pretty big thing to forget about. Well, I don't know if he did that all the time. But that would make sense. That was an option, yeah. An option would be if you got a buddy that lives nearby. So y'all went to his house and then would go over there.

You could go home. Right, we could. Yeah. Yeah. How much were movies when you were a kid? A quarter? I mean, we'd go to the matinee and it'd be like $1.50. Yeah.

and in 11 and the matinee went to like five yeah now if it's after two they're like no it's like one movie yeah yeah man i even have trouble always getting to the matinees especially on the road because it's always like 11 or news and you're like not really up and running around by the end and so like a matinee is pretty tough you always go to like you have to go like a two like a two a nice two o'clock movie two's great yeah a two o'clock yeah no one's in there

Pretty fun. I just remember before the internet, you had no way of knowing what movies were even showing at the local movie theater. I think the newspaper listed it, but you would call and there'd be an answer. Just some guy who worked there would record a message telling you the names and the movies and the times are playing. So you better have a pen ready. You're going to have to start all over and call back. Yeah.

I mean, that's DeSanto. Yeah, the movie phone. Yeah, this was before movie phone. This was just some guy. I'm like, literally someone who works there. Yeah, every morning he had a...

Like once a week, like probably every Friday morning. You know, they book those. We've learned it in the drive-ins, movie theaters. There's agents that have movies and be like, hey, we want our movie to come to your place. And that's how they get them in. In the theater, the drive-ins specifically have to be like, we don't want it.

you know, or it's not going to do well here or something. And this one, I remember, because in Louisville, the guy had like, I mean, they were just begging him to take stuff and he was doing live shows that he was like, I'm doing shows. He's like, I can't, you know,

It's like, I got this going on. We don't have the room for it. He knows who his customers are. It's like, this movie won't do well here and all that. Yeah, yeah. But drive-ins would have trouble getting movies because they want them on as many screens as possible. And so drive-in is only one screen. And so it's like, well, you got to play there. But then with the pandemic, they were...

movies are closed so it was all drive-ins so it was like just trying to get these movies at these drive-ins I hope drive-ins get stay popular yeah me too like it's like people I hope people realize what they were and now are like oh yeah this is great yeah and then just go you know it's it's such a fun it's when we watch Halloween wasn't it yeah yeah awesome it was great uh Michael Deal or Michael Deal you are gonna die when you hear this name

Megan deal. I don't know where, uh, uh, Megan deal. D E E L.

Megan. Sorry, Megan. And that was... I'm sorry. We should start putting the comments on the screen so people can read along and figure out in real time what you're trying to do. Yeah. Megan. I mean, Michael. I'm sorry. This is my buddy Michael. I'm sorry. Megan. This is my buddy Megan. Oh, hey. That was a turn. Yeah.

In high school, I was at Kings Island with my dad, brother, and cousin. My dad lost his keys early in the afternoon on a ride. They told us we could look for them when the park closed. When was that at? Midnight.

We wandered around freezing until the park closed only to find out we had to sit outside the front gate until the workers searched the ride. They did again and again. No luck. Meanwhile, we sat alone outside in the cold next to the spooky music speakers and a fake guy dying in an electric chair every five minutes. Eventually, they told us they couldn't find them and all the park employees left.

Security gave us phone numbers to taxis that didn't pick up out there, and we left too. We were stranded and left completely alone outside. We ended up calling 911 for a ride to a hotel. Years later, the single car key ended up in our mailbox in Kentucky without the rest of the key set. Worst night of my life. The fact that they found them. Yeah.

I wonder how the person knew how to find them. If you find a single car key, their address, maybe it was written on the key or something? Yeah. I almost don't believe it, Michael. Yeah. You don't believe that they got the key? No. Security gave us, yeah, years later, the single car key ended up in our mailbox in Kentucky without the rest of the key set.

I feel like someone did it as a joke or something. They probably told that story. And I believe all, like, the hanging out. Yeah, sure. That's crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. What a terrible day. I mean, just think, like, back then, too. There's no Ubers. There's none of that stuff. Like, it's, you know, it's crazy. Yeah. Like, I mean, you're just, you had to call. Yeah, I mean, like, taxis were crazy.

You didn't even know that they were a thing. Outside of New York? If you met someone in any town, basically outside of New York, and you were like, I started a taxi company, you'd be like, why? Who's taking them? At the airport, I guess, they've been rolling. That's about it, though. That's about it. Maybe people used them more. I remember, I think...

I remember people saying they were going to call a taxi, but I don't ever. Yeah. We took a taxi from your tour bus, Aaron and I, from Pigeon Forge to Knoxville. And I think that was like one car in all of Pigeon Forge that just did it. They didn't have Uber or Lyft. They had one company. It was one lady. It was named after her. Yeah, just one car. Yeah. And she just got everybody around in that town, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. All right. This week.

Uh, we're actually doing some little different. We have, uh, no topic, no topic. We'll see if we can just do it without it. I have, I doubt it. Uh, do you feel better about it now versus when we started the podcast? Yeah, we should save it for the end to say that. No, no. I like going, I like letting them know. Uh,

i like to see what's going to happen uh you know we've had a lot going on and uh a lot of stuff's happened so we're like you know that's what this is about it's about trying things yeah we should be able to do a podcast without having to have a topic the topic is just to have the jokes and stuff like that so we don't always uh this is it's not like even just trying it but it's like you know let's talk about us you know uh

We had a big weekend. I mean, to start off, Aaron Weber is a married man. Yep. Congratulations. Married man. Yeah. Already dressed in the part. We, they, I mean, you know, used to be big jackets, fun, now camouflage hat. Hey. Carhartt sweater. Trying to get on y'all's level, man. Jeans. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Jeans are a big thing. Yeah. Kramer. It was a big change for me. I didn't wear jeans probably 12 years. And then now. I just got three pairs of jeans. Nice. Yeah. At the, there's a wedding gift. No. So someone said, welcome. Yeah.

Welcome to marriage. Here's some jeans. I always just wore khakis. I did that for a long time. And I was like, I think it's time, dude. Khakis, I wore khakis a lot. I remember khakis were cool. I wanted to wear some on stage too. I'll go back to some khakis. Khakis are fun. I always wore them. It was a very Southern thing to wear khakis, I think, because you wear khakis in a T-shirt.

And that was like a, I think that's pretty Southern. Khaki shorts. You're a khaki shorts guy too? Yeah. Yeah. But really it was the khaki pants. People would wear khaki pants and a t-shirt. I remember when I was like in high school, that was like a big, we had to wear khaki pants on, uh, I think we could wear jeans. We had to wear khakis on Wednesday. You had to wear like a tie, but, uh, but we khakis and a t-shirt was a big, yeah.

Yeah, I wore khakis, dude, every day. Those were the only pants I would wear. And they were not flattering. They didn't, they didn't, Lucy would always be like, you got to get pants that actually fit you. Yeah. And I was like, these do fit. She's like, no, they don't fit the right way. Yeah. Then I went and got some jeans. These are, I guess these fit more correctly than my old pants did. Feels good, dude. You didn't buy them in a three pack. No, no, no. I went to the mall, went to the Levi's store. I mean, don't you have to buy new clothes now because you've lost so much weight?

That was a big part of it too. Yeah. Now they definitely don't fit right. They look real weird. Yeah. It's crazy. You have lost a ton of weight. Like from the beginning of this podcast to like when I saw it the other day. And it's like, it's a pretty. It's pretty noticeable from the side. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. You've done it in a short amount of time, really. Right? Yeah. I guess just a few months. What did you do? I did intermittent fasting, I guess, but I was pretty loose with it because I knew if it was too strict that I wouldn't succeed. But just kind of four hours a day. That's the window that I had to be. That's your feeding window? That's my... Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I said that to someone the other day. It's like a feeding. I think some people say it like that. By feeding window. Your feeding window. I think it just sounded like you're dumping it in a trough somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I kind of do that four hours different part of the day depending on what I got going on. Yeah. And then I think the biggest thing was just not eating fast food, dude. Yeah. Because I was eating fast food eight times a week. Yeah.

And I haven't had it. Yeah. I mean, I spent $30,000 or something. I was going to say, you get it. Yeah. Yeah. Cutting that out was probably the biggest thing. Yeah. I want to, I know it made me, I want to try the, cause I was like, uh, I had to buy, I didn't, my clothes went on my, uh, bag didn't make it. Cause I had to go to the store to buy some stuff.

uh and there's like this cool store but it's uh called gray grae if you're in omaha it's a good store they uh they're very nice they stayed open lettuce because they're about to close and we had to go straight from the plane because we missed our our flight was delayed so we missed it and we had to get another flight and then uh so i had to go there and buy stuff and i bought like these uh hoodies

to wear on stage. I actually liked what I was wearing. And then it's like, I wore, I posted, I had a picture of it like on my Instagram. And it's like, I just, I would say my dumb fat nipples, just God, they're the worst. They are the worst. And like, I was like, I got it. You know, I've, I've done good with no sugar. Then I ate ice cream at the end. I mean, something felt like, it's like, it's just a nightmare. It's like, you're just eating,

I mean, the other day I realized, I mean, I think I had three hamburgers. Like it was like just you're on the, like being on the road is just nothing. You can't eat anything. Yeah. I don't think, I mean, I know everybody like thinks of it. When you have no consistency, when you're not at home, it's impossible. Yeah. And the way our schedules are is like every, when you go on stage, you don't always want to eat before. Yeah.

And then when you get off stage, it's, I mean, if two shows, I mean, I'm done it. Then you don't always want to eat in the middle of the shows. Cause you, I mean, you're still like, God, like you get kind of amped up. You're still, you know, it's like, you don't have this big appetite. And then, you know, then you get done at midnight. Well, there's nothing open. Yeah. There's nowhere to go. There's not like a,

You know, it's like, well, McDonald's, I know sells like healthy stuff. And you're like, you're not going to just go there and be like, all right, I'll just get that every time. Yeah, yeah. It's impossible. What am I? I'm a human. Exactly. What do you want me to do?

It's also like when you're on the road, like in an airport, like time doesn't exist at an airport. I had like PF Chang's at like 8 a.m. one day. I was like, what am I doing? Yeah, a real meal. Yeah, it's like a dinner meal. I mean, you get eight in the morning, you know? Yeah. I've started doing that where I realized I can eat something. I can eat like a pizza at 8 a.m. Like you go to the airport and like the pizza is open. You're like, I'll just eat this pizza. Yeah.

I feel like that's a line you don't want to cross. Yeah. I feel like that's where you get over and it's like, you're like, I shouldn't be in the mood for this stuff. You don't need to have breakfast food for breakfast anymore. You can just get after it. Yeah, actually.

I might redo that as a joke. I'm trying to get like... I need some more... I was on the road with a friend of mine and we wanted to go to a Red Lobster. We woke up at like noon or 1230 and let's go to Red Lobster. But he was so...

just said on having breakfast food first that he went to McDonald's ate breakfast food and then came and ate at Red Lobster. He's like, I couldn't, it couldn't be the first thing I ate was seafood. Yeah, Laura's got to do that. Really? Yeah, Laura's got to, she's in the order that it's like, even if it's,

Like, even if we're about to go, you know, if it's like 11, and we're going to meet someone at lunch for 12.30, it's like she's got to...

do a breakfast act coffee something's gotta happen that's like somewhat breakfast the idea of the meal is gone and then now i can move on yeah i can roll right into whatever uh i can eat anything late you know i've eaten ice cream like i've eaten cereal then like late and then then eat ice cream like when i'm trying not to eat ice cream i'll eat a bowl of cereal late at night then i'm like oh you know what i'll just go and eat this ice cream too but those are two very different foods to have yeah

And so you shouldn't, I don't think you're at, you should be like, you should be like, no, I can't. I could never right now. I like that you did the big, like, so I thought about doing that. You only did a four hour window. Four hours and then 20 hours off. Yeah. How long were you doing? How long have you done this now? Since I think probably beginning of February. Yeah.

And are you still going to continue it? I think I'm just going to keep doing it. Yeah. It's part of my routine now. Yeah. I broke it a lot this weekend. I kind of went off this weekend. Well, you should. Yeah. Everyone was like, this is the one you're ever going to take a weekend off. It's your own wedding. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Um, so, uh, I ate a lot this weekend, but yeah, I've been doing it. I'll probably just keep doing it. Part of my routine now. Yeah. What was your window? Would you do usually 1030 to two 30?

So I'd wake up, I'd eat like a meal at 1030 and then just snack for the rest of the four hours. Beef jerky, stuff like that. You were eating somewhat healthy, would you? And you didn't eat any fast food? No, no fast food, no bread. Yeah. And no candy, stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah.

So I guess eating healthy too, but yeah, that's pretty, I mean, that's, you would have, you could have probably ate more if you just, maybe you cut bread out. I think that's pretty big. Yeah. That alone would have been a big change for sure. I did a lot of like four life changing things all at the same time. Yeah. I, I liked the idea. I was, I was telling someone cause they were, they were talking about it, like losing weight. Cause it's, it's always hard with people always. Cause they're always like, just eat everything in moderation. You're like,

Yeah, dude. You're like, it's just hard. Like, some people it's easy to do. Some people it's not. Or like, you know, just don't go eat. You know, if you go to McDonald's or if you go eat somewhere, you eat a burger but also get a salad. And you're like...

You're like, I don't, my brain doesn't work like that. Like it just, I go, I do it all. Like I, you know, and I figure like if I eat a burger, I'm like, well, I'm already eating bad. Might as well just do fries too. Like, you know, but I like the idea of the four hour window. Cause it's, it's like at least putting some structure in a very non-structured life. Yeah. Like, it's like you're whatever you're, you know, it's like, and I know everybody say like people are like, oh, that stuff doesn't work or blah, blah, whatever. It's like, it's like tricks.

But intermittent fasting, a lot of people live their life by that where it's like you just kind of like do this window. I always thought I would do my window if I want to try it. And again, just have it like I go, I'm here this week, but then next week is like I got to go to, I'm going somewhere and then I got to go do another thing. Like I'm going to three different time zones next week.

All within three days of each other. And so you're just like, it's ridiculous. And if you just go like, I can't eat, then you just are like, all right, I can't eat. I got to avoid.

Right. And like, so then it's, you know, then it's not like I'm deciding, but then if I'm in my little window, it's like, all right, if something happens to you to burger and fries, it's like, yeah, at least it's in that window. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. But I just set those things up where I'm like, well, I just can't do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like you got to go that extreme. Yeah. To go, I can't. No, yeah, it's not an option at this point. It's not an option, yeah. My window's closed. Yeah. Your honeymoon, you'll probably have to break it soon. I'll probably go off on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are y'all going? We're going to Alaska. Yeah, real big man vacation, huh?

It's like you like the cold weather in the summer. I do like the cold weather. She's like, what about a beach? You're like, what about Alaska? You know, somewhere to wear a coat? Yeah. It's going to be a little chilly up there. It's a good time to go, though, June. It's not going to be crazy. Like 50s? 50s and 60s, I think. Yeah, that's good. Up to 70s sometimes. We'll see. Yeah. We're going there for a week.

Leave next week. Where do you stay? It's this thing where you take a train every day from city to city. Oh, really? So it'll be in Anchorage, and then we end up in Fairbanks. We'll do dog sledding. Yeah, that's awesome. And fly a plane over the Denali National Park and stuff. So it'll be fun, dude. Not actually go see any of this stuff. Just kind of... Just fly over it. Just fly over it. Ride by it on a train, fly over it.

You're like, did you ever touch the ground? You're like, not really. Never actually walked out in the... We hike one day, I think. Yeah. I don't know. I'm just along for the ride.

Did you look at that hike? Pretty tough. When they said a hike. I think Lucy did on my behalf. She was like, I think we need to take a, let's take the easy route. Yeah. Start at the top. Well, you'd want to go just walk. Yeah. Yeah. The planes will drop you off up there. Drop us off at the top. Take a helicopter. I'd do that. There you would want, I mean, the hiking in Alaska would be, I mean, everybody needs to probably, you got to really check out. Like, well, what are we talking about? Yeah, exactly. Like it could get. I'm not trying to go up a mountain, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll walk around in a circle by a lake or something. You might see a bear up there. Yeah. Oh, they told us we're going to see wildlife too. We go to this wildlife sanctuary, bear, moose. Moose are huge. When I did, yeah, I can't remember what stories I told about them in Maine. I told that, right? Yeah. Yeah. The moose, they kill people. Yeah. So be careful with that.

I'll remember that. Yeah. I'll stay away from them. I think, yeah, it could be worse than Bears. You think? I don't know. I mean, but I think so. I thought I've heard that, but I don't know for sure.

That kind of sounds right. I believe you if you said it with confidence. Yeah, I feel like a bear everybody's naturally scared of and a moose people are not and they don't realize. It's like hippos. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, like hippos are like that where everybody, you think you're looking for the alligator, you'd be looking for the hippo. The hippo is the problem.

They're brutal. And they can move, dude. And they're hungry. They're one of the deadliest animals in the world, I think. Yeah. They're like offensive linemen in the NFL, where they still run like a 4'9", 40. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess 300 pounds. He's just a fat guy. No, he's running a 4'5". Yeah. He can move. Did your groomsmen like their groomsmen gift? Yeah, they did. I think so.

Because I saw one in the trash at the wedding. Stop. Chipper Jones just was there. Who were the players? Chipper Jones, Ken Griffey, Derek Jeter, Bo Jackson, Mike Trout, and R.A. Dickey. Those are the ones I think. Is R.A. Dickey tough? Is that guy kind of like R.A. Dickey? Or is R.D. the most perfect one?

R.A. Dickey was, I mean, it's the least valuable of all the cards for sure. But it was hard to find because nobody's out there going, I need an autographed R.A. Dickey rookie card. You got them all autographed? No, a couple of them. You just went to R.A. Dickey's house and said, yeah, I'll do it. He's from here, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's from here. I mean, who'd you give that to? R.A. Dickey? Was he in your wedding? Yeah.

I mean, the Mike Trout, did you say it was $2,000? Yeah, that's a rookie. I didn't get him a rookie. Oh, okay. So that's a wide range there. No. Yeah. You got a Tony Gwynn? Yeah, I gave Dustin a Tony Gwynn one. That was autographed. That was one of the more expensive ones. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's because, I mean, he's passed away. Tony Gwynn is amazing. Yeah. Do you think Tony Gwynn, more than any player in eSport, you identified with one team? Like the pod, like...

He is the Padres. Yeah. Well, Mike Trout's that way. Yeah, well, it's Chipper Jones. That was the big thing with Chipper Jones. And Derek Jeter, actually, with the Yankees. Actually, a few of them. I don't think so. The Yankees, they've had a million star players. Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle. I'm talking about a guy. You think of the team, who's the first player you think of? I don't think... I do, yes. I do think it is with that, with Tony Gwynn. But I don't know if people...

That was so long ago. Yeah. And like he's not – I mean, Tony Gwynn is one of the greatest players ever. Yeah. But like he's never in a big market, so he's not Derek Jeter. I'm not saying he's – no, I'm not saying he's popular. But if you know about baseball, think about the Padres. Tony Gwynn is by far – But I think people are going to – they just won't think of him. Like it's like – you know what I mean? Like you got to be so popular that you don't ever go away.

Like the way that people talk about Babe Ruth still now or Mickey Mantle now.

I think they don't talk about Tony Gwynn because they were at the biggest team. Like Mike Trout. Mike Trout could end up being done. There's people that probably don't even, they never even heard the name Mike Trout. And Mike Trout is arguably, people think, one of the best ever to play the game. And so like, yeah, you're going to identify, they might, Albert Pujols would probably be a lot of people like, oh, that's like Albert Pujols, he went to that team, right? Because he was with the Cardinals, he was a bigger team. And like, there's going to be people that don't even know Mike Trout. Yeah. Yeah.

That's where I think Tony Gwynn's a little in that boat. Yeah, and I wasn't arguing so much. Yeah, just name recognition. I guess I'm saying for baseball fans that know the sport. If you want to keep trying to make your point, then you can. Yeah, I just didn't think you were getting what you're saying. I totally get what you're saying. I guess if you're a diehard baseball fan and you're our age, then I think Tony Gwynn absolutely deserves it.

identifies with the Padres. All right. Well, I think guys like that are interesting now because in this era, it's like athletes feel like they're always chasing the highest paycheck and they're jumping teams and building super teams and whatever. Yeah. And it's rarer now for these guys to just spend their whole career with one team.

And that was the Chipper Jones spent his whole career with the Braves. I think he actually took a pay cut to free up salary space on his team. Like you just don't hear about people doing that anymore. That's why it's, that's why it's cool. I don't think Mike Trout or Chipper Jones would find this conversation good. And we're talking about them and they would probably be like, Oh God, they would fast play hits 10 seconds a couple of times on the thing. Yeah.

Are they still done? And then Chipper Jones. Oh, God. He just has to go way forward. He goes back to just to vory.com and listen to the ads. That's something fun. So this was at your wedding. We're going to show this. These were given away.

I didn't even see these. I was telling them I didn't even see these at the wedding. That's what Aaron's known for. This is what Lucy's known for. They had some Zany's cookies there as well. Oh, yeah. Do y'all ever let up about the Notre Dame thing? Are you pretty hammered home as the fam? Do you feel like we laid it on pretty thick at the... I mean, you gave cookies away that have Notre Dame on them.

That's about it though, right? I feel like we didn't do that. We didn't walk into the fight song or anything. Well, y'all started singing it real late. It was great to meet a lot of your family. Yeah. Yeah. I

I like talking to him. Your dad tried to get me to do comedy that night. No. Yeah, he tried to negotiate with me cash. And I was like, he just didn't have enough money. Are you serious? No. Oh, my God. I wanted to be mortified. No, your dad was great. Just to be like your dad. He goes, I gave you 200 bucks to do like 10 minutes. And I go, look, man. I go, my money's gone up a lot and we're 300 now. That's what I told him. And he goes, I don't kind of have that kind of loot is what he said. And I said, well, then go find it. Yeah.

Pretty demanding. And then he tried to find it and came back with less money, to be honest. He came back with less money. Yeah. He goes, actually, I go, so how does it look? He goes, I lost $100. He goes, I was trying to get up to $300, and I've lost $100. And I go, how did that happen? And then we both had to go chase that guy down. And I think you know who that was.

What you're describing is like my worst nightmare. No, no. Your whole family was wonderful. Okay, good. Your dad was great. I was worried that they would be... Because I always joke about y'all's family. They're like, hey, your family is awesome. Do they get it? They're very fun. Yeah. And then your cousins, they like all the jokes about your family. Oh, yeah? They said your family was very talented and it was always like...

Your cousins all had to like, it'd always be like, hey, here comes the Weber family and y'all are like singing songs like the Von Trapp family. Yeah, that's what he used to call it. Yeah. Every Christmas is just like, y'all do a talent. You go, hey, we're going to do a talent show. And then everybody else is like, we have no talent. And you're like, oh, all right, well, maybe we'll just do some stuff. And then y'all are like, you played piano during your wedding? Oh, yeah, yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah. The band, the band were guys that we used to play with, my buddy and I. So they brought us to play. They were great. They were awesome, weren't they? Yeah. The whole wedding was, I mean, was there any behind the scenes problems? Um, no, nothing that we haven't talked about. The wedding was, uh, yeah, the wedding was very, very nice. Yeah. I missed the, uh, ceremony. That's okay. You know, I feel like when I, yeah, we were there, I waited outside the gate till it was over. Uh,

Seven minutes. Yeah. It was short, dude. It probably was seven. Probably less than seven minutes. I knew it. That's sensitive. Seven. Yeah. Seven minutes. We barely, yeah. Yeah. I was coming from Omaha is why I missed it. And like, so we couldn't get there. And we got there right when it ended. I was coming from St. Louis and I made it. Huh? You had a nonstop flight. What time did you leave? I have the layover. I left at, I think I left at noon. Hmm.

I had a layover. Left at 8.55. Yeah, well, this is all you got going is this wedding. So you work one weekend a year. So, yeah, it's pretty easy to not miss it. We had two shows. Did you have two shows? For the weekend. Yeah. I mean, pretty easy. Yeah. I wasn't done until pretty late. It was your weekend good? Yeah.

Yeah, it was great. It was great. Both great crowds both nights. Met some folks there. Yeah. Got off to nothing to do with the club. Club was great. But my car, took my car in the shop last week because the check engine light came on. And the guy came out and he sits down with me. So it's almost like they're notifying you that I got some bad news. Yeah. And he's like, rodents have eaten through your fuel line.

and some type of harness, tank harness, and it's going to be $4,000 to fix it. Now, my wife's had this problem, and her dad, who lives with us, has had the same problem. We really need to build a garage. Yeah. But $4,000 damage, and he's like, you need to call your insurance company to see if they'll cover it. And they did. Wow. Because of the squirrels. Yeah, squirrels or chipmunks. Rodents, I said.

Oh, you just said rodents right now? Didn't I? That's what I said. Yeah, I was about to ask you which ones. It's either squirrel or chipmunks because we have a bunch of both. Yeah. But every car that's been parked at your house has had this happen. Yeah. Yeah, so we got a major problem. Ruth should have disclosed this when y'all got married, I feel. I agree. Like at the wedding, she should have been like, hey, just before we go all the way through this, understand when you move into my home, your house will be attacked by squirrels. Yeah.

Yeah, for real. We could have paid for a garage by all this. But my insurance covered it. But then I didn't have a car. So renting cars right now are so expensive. It's hard to even get rental cars right now. And they're very expensive. A plane ticket was exactly the same amount of money. So I flew to St. Louis and Ubered to the hotel in O'Fallon. Wow, in O'Fallon. So I get there early because I flew. So I get the hotel at 115. And I walk in. I'm checking in. The lady said...

rooms not available till three. And this wasn't one of those, like, let me see what we can do. She was like, come back an hour, 45 minutes. I mean, she wouldn't even. And three's probably. Being generous. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, I got my backpack and just a little carry thing. And then I'm like, and I don't have a car. Right. There's nowhere there to hang out. There's a quick trip. Well, there is a quick trip. So about that time when she's giving me this bad news, I'm like, why are the back of my pants wet? Yeah.

Like I didn't sit anything. So I kind of stepped off in that little partition area where the door sliding doors are. And I'm like, why is my pants so wet? And then my backpack was all wet. So I had to go outside on the sidewalk and open my backpack and dig through. I had a bottle of water that the top had come off. It just dumped water in my backpack with my computer, my camera, and a few other things that my pants are soaking wet.

So I don't know where to go. It's freezing cold there this weekend. So I call an Uber and he picks me up at the quick trip. And I was like, just, I mean, I put in to go to Applebee's. Yeah. That's where she said the good restaurant was. So that was the recommendation. Yeah. So I get in the Uber and the guy goes, I'm going to run this quick trip real fast and give me a few things. So I'm just sitting in his car for a while with it running.

And he runs in the backseat in your wet pants. The same very pants I was trying to return that day. The only pants I brought for the whole weekend, by the way, because I'm there for 48 hours. Yeah. He goes in, he gets him a five hour energy drink and a few other things. He's in there a while. And then he takes me to Applebee's. And when I got out of the car, I picked up my bag. His floorboard was wet and his seat was wet.

And there was a trail of water. Like I look back a few times just dripping with me as I walked. So then I got an apple piece and I sat in this wet booth by myself. And then finally, like everywhere I go, there's just a trail of tears. And then I get to the hotel and I have to get a hair dryer and blow dry my pants and the clothes that I had stuffed in my carry-on bag. I just have to blow dry. Well, I haven't used a blow dryer since the 90s. So...

That hotel sounds like they, they, that's the, that's the blow dryer from the night. Oh, it was, uh, it was. So you're feeling pretty good about the weekend by this point, right? Yeah. I mean, it got off to a rough start, but, uh, but the shows themselves were great. Yeah. Yeah. I just had wet pants. He outsold me. Brian outsold me by 12 tickets. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Big money. Just a little bit bigger girl. No foul. Yeah. Uh,

But that's a great club, man. People came out. People had fun. Yeah. That's what I heard. Yeah, very nice people. Like I said, met some of our folks. They came out. It was great. Yeah, so the Squirrel...

So squirrels, I've never even heard of this. I posted it on our community Facebook page and so many people commented that this is a thing. I guess there's soy is in the fuel lines and it's attracted to it and they just bite into them. Why don't we stop putting soy in there? Soy sauce? I don't know.

But now they're giving us ways to like... He has stuff leaking everywhere. Maybe his soy sauce is leaking from the bottom of his... It could be. I stole some from that Applebee's. What is soy? I don't even know. All right. See, there's why does everybody...

See, y'all just said soy. Neither one of you know what it is. It's not soy sauce. I didn't act like I knew it. I get it's not soy sauce. But everybody, but like, I always think everybody, you go like, I'm not saying you do this, but most everybody, well, I am saying you do this. Most everybody goes, they go, there's soy in the bottom of it. And they go, okay, you don't know what soy is.

But everybody just says the soy and no one ever knows what... Everybody goes, well, what is it? And then that's when people like me feel dumb is because I'm like, God, I don't know what soy is. And then you go, hey, guess what? Nobody knows what it is. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I just know it's some type of food that...

It has a certain smell, apparently. What attracts rodents is the fairly recent plant-based composition of hoses, wires, and other plastic and rubber-like materials. I don't know all the details, but at some point in recent history, federal law mandated the use of soybeans as an ingredient. So this article says, I don't know the details.

At the bottom, it says soy-based plastic. Why would you write an article and in it go, long story short, I didn't really dive too much into it. I had to just do this article on the way out. They did something. I mean, that's basically the reason I wrote this article. It's just, how do you put that?

How is that in the, I don't believe anything this person says at all. Yeah, I don't know all the details, but that's weird. What is this from? This is from a stack exchange. These are just people posting. Somebody asked a question and then people were answering. Oh, so it's not an article. This isn't like a New York Times article. I mean, golly. I don't know all the details. Long story short, blah, blah, blah. They chewed through the thing.

So the people have said put out fake rubber snakes to scare the squirrels away. Mothballs, I guess. They're going to look like Halloween over there all year long. I know. Yeah. We already have a fake owl that we put up. We have so many squirrels. That thing's not really working. It is not. Well, that's in the back, but...

Why would you not put it in the front where the main problem is? Well, they were getting on our roof. It's a major problem. I mean, dude. Golly, this is like the bird movie by Alfred Hitchcock about squirrels. Where they don't like attack you, they're just like, you know. And you can't kill them. Wow. Well, it's against the law to purposely, in city limits, to kill them. You can throw them from a...

but they'll still live. Yeah, they're going to land that. Yeah. No problem. You can kill a squirrel, right? If it's destroying your property. How would I kill it? You set up a trap or something. Shoot it. I don't think you can just be shooting. Like BB guns. People, you know, something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, by the time you're, I think by the time your brain would tell you to pull that trigger, that squirrel's going to be fine. Yeah. I don't think you're going to hit it. You don't think I could be. Brian out there, the BB gun, the Air Force hat. Yeah. Shooting squirrels. And that balance, he just looks like something's wrong with him. You know, like the neighbors are like, they see her parents come out and they just think like, oh, he still lives with his parents. Like they don't know that. Yeah.

He's got that hat on, that camouflage hat with a BB gun. He's just out there looking at all these squirrels. And her parents come out, did you get them? And they're like, oh, I guess he still lives with his parents. They think that I think they can't see me. Sniper. I mean, they would lay his wet backpack on, it's dripping water, and they just...

People just coming up asking if he's okay. He goes, yeah, I'm doing real good. You know, I live on my own now. I think that's the tops. Yeah, I think that's the top. Thank you.

Oh, man. So, yeah. That's a great image. Oh, and then the guy. We're going to see a nice drawing of that. I just want to see. Someone's going to draw you with a wet backpack with a BB gun in your camo hat looking for squirrels. The guy at the car dealership says one of the parts I need won't be in until October. Oh, wow. Again, because of COVID, somehow everything's backed up. Yeah.

I got some problems.

But this working is a big problem. They cannot hire people anywhere. McDonald's here has a big sign. They're paying off like we need people. No one's – I mean, you go to hotels, dude, they're so understaffed. And getting a room cleaned is just not going to happen. And some of it they say because of COVID, but they don't have the staff. Even these – you go to a restaurant. Mm-hmm.

we the great restaurant we talked about i think he talked about the hotel sardy i think it's sarah sarah t i can't remember it isn't in des moines downtown great hotel restaurant down there awesome people but he talked about like people would see these tables open and like when you go by the restaurant they don't look like they're busy you know and everybody's like well you can sit people and he's like we don't have the staff to sit people we can't it's not even about

COVID anymore. It's about like we can't get anybody to work. That's a major. You can feel it, dude. It's everywhere. I mean, Omaha, when I started eating at Omaha, it's like this one girl behind. And you have to go pay at like a counter, like a different store because she's got to cook this food. And she's just by herself. And like there's no one there.

That's what happened to the Applebee's that I ended up going to. We walked in and there's nobody there. And they're like, it's going to be a wait. As you go in with.

there's just people coming in right in front of me no I was by myself I know it's the Uber driver you're trying to act like you have more friends than you do you're like no we all go in my road manager yeah and my agent and my assistant yeah you go look we're going to get a table go I'll be grouped together you're my road manager you're my agent you're my assistant I'm a comedian they go I want to be a comedian he goes fine whatever alright you be the comedian I'll be the road manager

All right, let's go in there. Let's go in there and act like we're... Table for four business meeting, please. We're from Hollywood. You're from Memphis, Tennessee. That's my favorite Andy Kaufman. Did I say that? It's like... It's the Jim Carrey movie where he's...

talk about wrestling people. Man in the Moon? Yeah, Man in the Moon. And he goes, he's wrestling women, which is so funny. It's so funny, dude, that Andy Kaufman wrestled women and then like would get people just furious that he's wrestling these women. And then he went to Memphis, Tennessee. Look up the Memphis, Tennessee, the Hollywood thing. And he yells at me. Me and Soder always do it. He goes, I'm,

He goes, you're all just from Memphis, Tennessee. I'm from Hollywood. And just yells at them all. And they would be so mad that he said that. Jerry Lawler? Yeah. Oh, that's right. I guess it's Jerry Lawler. Yeah. There's no way we're going to be able to play this. Yeah.

uh give me a minute to find it yeah yeah it was maybe i guess he said it jerry lawler it's just so it's such a funny thing to uh say i mean i dude him wrestling women is so great yeah somebody commented that we failed to mention that during the wrestling episode but yeah that's true that was a that was a thing for a while yeah well he did it as a it's a joke joke yeah

That whole Jerry Lawler thing on Letterman, all that was so great. Oh, yeah. They were all in on it. I mean, that's the fact that no one knew. Think back then. I mean, you could do so much stuff. You know, now, like, there's a lot of stuff people don't know, like, on the internet. Like, just you don't know the story. You don't know whatever. A lot of fake stories get kind of thrown out very quickly. Back then, it's like this slow build of, like, he's just playing.

The whole country. And everybody. And then him and Lawler fight, and he punches him. It's on Letterman. I don't know if Letterman was in on it. I don't know if he was. I can't remember if he was either. But he slaps him. Hits him hard. Yeah, I mean, Jared the King Lawler, I don't know if he ever – does he ever get the credit he should get for that? It's such a – I mean, it's so great. Yeah. You're from Memphis, Tennessee. I'm from Hollywood. Hollywood.

It's such a great... Anyway. So, yeah. I've never heard the squirrel thing, though. Pretty wild. I guess it's a common thing, though, just based on the Google search. It's a pretty common thing. But a real bummer that it happened to you, man. Yeah. Sorry about that. So, I'm going to be needing some rides. Yeah. All right. Until October. I got you. I meant to ask you, was Taylor Swift's brother at your wedding? No. He didn't end up being there. Yeah. Man. Did you send one to her just as an offer? Send her an invitation? Yeah.

I told him he could have a plus one, you know? Bring family or whatever. Bring whoever you want. I think you almost don't. I was talking to Lucy about it. You almost kind of don't want her to be there. No, you do. Okay. I do. You do in the fact that, like, look. You do in the fact that it's not like you know her. Like, you're, like, friends with her. Yeah. You know, it's like you're friends with her brother. Right.

I would say her brother would almost could have an argument and say he would rather her not be there. Definitely. But you do in the story of like, it would just be a zoo. Sure. Crazy. Right. So that's kind of fun. But like if her, you know, a cousin is like, it just, if she doesn't, you know, or I mean, our brother, you know, it's like, it's always about you. So, I mean, but you want your sister there. I mean, how do you not want that? But like,

He could have an argument to be... Oh, you mean for his wedding? Yeah, for his wedding. I'm saying for you, you do...

Sure, these are just things you tell yourself when she's not there. You know what I mean? No, no, I know. I didn't want her here. But it's like, but like her, I could see someone in her family being like, it's too much. Yeah, when do I get to have my moment? Yeah, yeah. It's always you. People are always talking about you. And she probably feels that too. I imagine if it's always about you, you know that. Yeah. And you don't want to steal someone else's thunder. Yeah. Well, you want to go and like almost just be like, just,

Try to sit in the back and watch and try to stay out of the – have it be very dark. I didn't see Dusty slaying. I mean, like you could easily avoid someone. I did. I avoided Dusty. He did. And it was pretty easy. He's sitting at the head table. Yeah. He didn't see him. I saw him. No, I saw him. I just never got to him. Yeah.

That was a weird thing about being the groom. I saw so many people that I wanted to, that I hadn't seen for a while. And you have very little face time with anybody. Well, you did good when y'all went around to the tables. Yeah. That was good. Just make your rounds. You got to do something like that. You got to be in control of everything.

like going to see everybody yeah and like so you got to go and be like let me just go hit every table and you come over and you say thanks for coming and blah blah and then you do see everybody and then you can kind of go do your own thing and then if everybody wants to see anybody else anymore then you you can yes yeah you kind of have like you had like 30 seconds with everybody yeah just like friends from college i hadn't seen in years and i was like oh it's good to see you man thanks for coming yeah

And that's pretty much it. That's all I got. Well, they got to see you. They would have to see you before. Yeah. It's like the wedding is, the wedding day, I think, is like, it's most everybody, it's like chaotic. Yeah. They always tell you to eat. I mean, I don't think we, I don't even know if we ate at ours. Like, or they make a plate for you later and you eat it. It's cold. Like, you don't get, always get like this perfect meal. Yeah.

Well, everybody gets – it's really everybody else gets to eat this wonderful food, and then you end up like eating a cold –

You eat whatever was cold in the back later on. I was watching Phyllis' wedding episode of The Office yesterday. Hours after your wedding, it's just so funny. Michael gets up to make that toast. He says, Webster defines wedding as the fusing of two metals together with a hot torch.

It's so great. Yeah. What is it? Welding? He is welding. He clearly looked up. He looked up. Yeah. And you two are gold, are medals, gold medals. That's how he. Yeah. Yeah. It was great. It was. Yeah. We always, I was just like, our wedding was, which I've talked about it. We're going to do like, I need to do a reception again.

Because Laura was saying, like, renewing vows or if we got remarried or something like that, but she thinks it's the kiss of death to do that. Then you definitely split up. But a lot of people renew vows. I think it's pretty common, yeah. Yeah, but you don't hear about all of them don't make it afterwards. It's 100%. It's 100 for 100 that renews vows. It's over. It's a stat. Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of people go renew their vows. But what are you renewing your vows? I guess you're just like, you're still together. Like, what do you, you know, it's like almost... I know people who join a different type of church, and they want to get, renew their vows in that church. That makes sense. That makes sense. But just renewing your vows out of nowhere. It's just another public declaration of we're, we still love each other. Yeah.

Not the fact that you walk around. Yeah. Just behind you all day. That's not enough. That's not enough. You want more of that? There's, yeah, I would do a reception again. I would like to do like that, like do something like that. Like, you know, just, I mean, basically just on another party, but like ours, like to do ours where we, we just, you know, we, we got married. We just, it was not, it was not that. It was, it was fun. It's a weird,

The whole weekend is a weird merging of worlds. Yeah. Worlds colliding. Yeah. Friends from high school, friends from college, comedy, that world, and then my family. Yeah. And then all of Lucy's family. It's just all these different worlds coming together. When are these people ever going to be in the same room ever? Probably never. Hopefully not. Yeah. Well.

I think most hope not. I mean, most are like, if I'm ever in these, you know. I feel like it's weddings and funerals. And I just, my cousin passed away a couple weeks ago suddenly. And I met so many of his friends that I never knew and got to know. Like, I know so much more about his life now. Through them. Yeah, and it's a shame. Like, why didn't I meet these people beforehand so we had this common bond? So that's why the wedding, it's so nice. Now I've met your family, your close friends, and it's nice in a celebratory way.

Instead of a sad reason. Right. After the fact. Yeah, it's sad that that's what it takes. Yeah, Lucy's parents are great. Yeah, they're awesome. Aaron Land got a shout out. I was going to say, he had a lot of inside jokes about Nate Land in the Father of the Bride speech. Yeah. He said, if you're not here, we're live streaming it on Aaron Land. Yeah.

I don't feel like it got as much as we wanted to. There's a very specific... Oh, so inside. Yeah, it was like they were like, you had to miss that episode. But Air Land's my favorite. You pointed out that the girl, Lucy's friend that you grew up with, was making these references to their childhood. And you pointed out how...

how much younger and difference in age they are. Oh, the references were. Yeah, what did they, I can't remember now, like the music they listened to and the shows they watched. It was all like 99. She's like, oh, remember we did this? Some of it was early 2000s. I'm like, I feel like

I feel like that just happened. What was the reference? Do you remember what it was? I remember some of them just said they watched, they would watch the best of Will Ferrell. Yeah, the best of Will. You're like, I watched Will Ferrell. I watched, you know, like, and then like just being like, I remember when he retired and we're in like, and like they're watching his retirement video of Will Ferrell's retirement video. Yeah. And we're like,

That's so crazy. And it's just like we were so, we were, they were Harper's age. Yeah. Like it was unbelievable. I can't remember, like Boy Meets World or something like that. Boy Meets World. Yeah, I think that got referenced once or twice. Some rapper that, yeah, I can't remember. I don't remember.

they're dorfman said the guy that owns zany's he told me about hiring lucy and it was very nice where he's like the story like he met her she was a assistant or something in charlotte yeah uh heffernan uh which is a great comedy zones are in charlotte and that's always they've been around forever and he's a great dude and she was like just he could see her passion yeah for comedy and was like if you get when you get done with school if you want a job you

you got the job. And then she's there. Yeah. She's interned at the box office, emailed him once a week for months until he got a response. Yeah. Wow. That's great. Well, his story acts like he just called and he goes, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

like it was just easy it's always that the person that's always like and i just knew she would be the one so i hired her immediately and then she's like i took a long time actually the real answer is probably in the middle yeah it's always in the middle yeah i emailed twice and then he got back to me yeah yeah yeah hers is like i had to fly down there i begged for the job i fought for this and you're like well we're in the middle yeah that's true everything is always in the middle

You know what was funny that Dustin Nickerson, who officiated the wedding, pointed out to me is while these speeches were going on, there's still just comics standing in the back of the room. Oh, yeah. That's everywhere you go. The families are all sitting down and then just lined up along the back were all just the comics. Yeah. It's like, I would love to be standing over there with those guys during all this. Yeah.

I think it's hard for people to give speeches to like that. Like they're, when they do have to give a toast because they know it's just comics there. And so, but I always think when people, if you, if you do give speeches that you, all the toast and stuff were great. It's like, just be, we still laugh at like funny, corny jokes or whatever. Like it's still, we still think that's funny. We're not just like,

you know, we're not like, uh, just sitting there going like, Oh, what a hack. Yeah. Yeah. If it's from the heart and a true story. Right. That's what I told, uh, my best man. Cause I think he was stressing out about it a little bit. I was like, dude, just nobody cares. Yeah. You wrote it. Just Aaron, by the way, Aaron lost so much weight, which is amazing how good he looks. Uh,

And he was just one of the smartest and funniest. Most humble. Yeah. Carries the Neyland podcast. I always say that. It was very specific. And what was the car that you guys left in?

Some 1952 Jaguar, I think. How far did y'all go? We just drove to the hotel. Oh, that's good. It was like 10 minutes. In the driveway? Oh, yeah. But it was pretty cool. We were sitting in there. We get in this nice car. We drive away, and there's a driver, and I was talking to him. I go, is this like a pretty sweet car? And he was like,

dude, it's an honor to drive this car. He said, I'm a car guy. It's an honor to even be in this vehicle. He was so fired up about, I go, I don't know anything about this, man. Yeah, that's cool. We were going to take an Uber. Yeah.

Didn't you say the driver was texting? I was watching. I guess I figured he probably texted to say we're leaving or something. But it was funny. As you guys walk up and everybody's got sparklers and as you're walking down the thing, it's this big like, congrats and all this stuff. And you just see him. It's like a comic texting right before they go up. Yeah. Where you're like, hey, are you not in this, man? You feel like the driver should be in it. Yeah.

be a little more in the car texas no no as you walk down the thing so you're about to be there but it's it's uh you know you figure he would just be in it smiling and like i mean like and then open the door and be like congrats do you say congratulations he did okay you say congratulate you know it's like or somebody you just see him he was like texting i mean you're almost two of them and he's just like what's he's

He's playing words with friends. Phone opens the door. Losers. Right. Right. As he shut it, I heard him go. Never will last. And then he shut the door and he got in, said, congratulations. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a real honor to drive this car. He was being sarcastic. You know what is funny? I didn't see what was hanging off the car, but I guess it said just married or something. So we pull out of the wedding venue. We drive like a block away. Then we have to stop. He has to go take all that stuff off. Oh, yeah. Because he's like, I can't drive. It's not street legal. So it's just like, all right, bye. We drive 10 yards that way and stop.

Yeah. I see people driving on highways with that stuff on. Oh, yeah. I bet that guy's like, I ain't driving this. Yeah. If it's an honor to drive this car. Yeah, he's up taking all this crap off the car. You're lucky he didn't ask y'all to get out. Like, he's going to take all the married stuff off. And then he takes that off and opens the door and he goes, that means y'all too. And then y'all got to hop out. You got to walk back. And I think we get a lift. We get right over to the hotel or anything.

That's a pretty good car. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, the whole thing was cool. Yeah, it went by super fast the whole day. Yeah. But it was fun, man. Yeah. Glad y'all were able to come. Yeah, we made it. I made it. Yeah, you did. Thank you, man. How were your shows? Omaha was great. Yeah, those shows were all good. Justin Smith.

uh open for me uh i golfed with larry the cable guy played two days with him he's the best dude she's a good dude uh good golfer yeah he played his best round he's ever played shot 78 wow uh yeah putting was putting out of his mind long long putts also speaking of golf we had our uh the nalan podcast this is john augustine finished top 25th

in a PGA event this weekend. Oh, I didn't see that. Yeah, crazy, dude. His first one, first cut he made in the PGA, finished in the top 25. Did you talk to him? Was he pretty stoked? Yeah, yeah, I was very excited. Like, it's fun. I mean, I always say, like, it's fun to watch. You're watching this kid. He does not have his card. He's not...

you know, he's got to earn his way onto the tour. Yeah. And, and I mean, and for him to be, he was tied ninth at one point and just played, played terrific. And so it was fun to get a, like, you know, just getting to all weekend, like keep an eye out on him. Yeah. I loved it. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

uh yeah so what is it about he's a little guy what is it about golfer like in sports usually if you're tall you have an advantage in basketball or big in football what is it about guys that just some of them have that extra greatness it's just like a very uh god i can't i'm trying to think of the reference of a question like uh

feels like a very broad question. That's like, why is golf? Why do people like to golf? Uh, I don't know. He's, he's not tall. No, he's, he's a little guy, but you can drive it super far. You can make a club be any length, but yeah, he can drive it. Yeah. They can smash it. Like, uh, he had to like three. I think he was, was up there and like driving right distance was like all like average, like three 15, three 20, something like that. Uh,

I mean, they just know how to hit it. They just hit the middle of the face. Like, they just know how to hit the middle of the face. Core strength, all that. Middle of the face is everything. Like, and they hit the middle of the face. So, obviously, the guys that are very long and lanky, they get a ton more speed. That's why, like, Bubba Watson, all those guys end up being longer. John Daly had that. Like, he just had, like, very long, smooth. I mean, John Daly's so good that it's unreal how good – it's so crazy how good this guy is. And just to be a mess –

He's just a mess of a dude. But he is – I mean, I saw him hit not too long ago. And, like, he's just – right now his hands are just – he just is so good. When he won the PGA Championship, his first major, they supposedly – I don't know if this is true or not. But I played at the course, Crooked Stick, where they won that. And he was a ninth alternative.

So it took nine people to fall out of the PJ Shaves, much like your wedding. A lot of people couldn't get in until a lot of people fell out. But nine people fell out, and he was the last one to get in and won it. Really? Wow. And no one even knew who this dude was. Yeah. And then it's him coming out. And supposedly, like one day, this girl runs out and gives him like a big hug and kiss.

on the, uh, fairway and everybody, or something, and everybody thought it was his wife and it wasn't. It was, uh, I believe a call girl. Like, that's what, that's the, that's the crowd he was bringing. I was trying to say what's the nicest way to be able to say to her, uh,

But he was like, you know, and then he just boomed on the scene. And his son actually played that same tournament, not in a major, but because he's an amateur, and was the ninth alternative and finished second at the same course. But that's pretty crazy to barely get in. Yeah. And then to win the whole thing. To win the whole thing. Yeah. So, yeah. I don't know. Was that –

uh well one i want to mention these hats oh yes danny pritchard one of our folks sent these to us he's retired air force yeah nice big fan very nice yeah thank you could you compete in there be in the air force my grandfather's in the air force oh yes air force does a lot of crazy they always i think their big joke is that the chair force yeah like that's the uh but i remember going doing all the uso stuff and uh you would talk to air force and air force always had like

Their jobs were pretty wild. It was like, yeah, they're not just... It wasn't... Everybody obviously does different stuff in the military, like Army, and they're in it. And the Air Force is like... They're just like... They do some pretty crazy stuff. And what they keep an eye out on is even pretty crazy. And now they're dealing with aliens. Are they involved with aliens? I mean, why would you not? You think they'd tell them no? They're in a air...

Yeah, Space Force might be first line. Yeah, Air Force. And they go, we'd like to be a part of it. And they say no. And you go, well, air is in our title. Yeah. And they're flying in our air. Well, Space Force will be the first line of defense. I was going to say Space Force is the first. Space Force is pretty new still. Yeah, they're still getting off the ground. Air Force, yeah. They don't have merch yet. Yeah, Space Force doesn't have merch. Exactly. Air Force is like, no, let's be. I bet a lot of Air Force went to Space Force. Yeah. It'd be fun to join Space Force. You just keep going up. Yeah.

Yeah, Space Force is. You start in the Navy. Oh, yeah. There you go. Yeah, in a submarine. You start at the bottom, work your way up. You're in a submarine, you know, one of those ships where you're way above the water. Yeah. Yeah. Army, fighting the ground. Then you go Navy and you're like back in a boat. You're like, well, it's not going good. Yeah.

And then you go Air Force, Space Force. Yesterday, of course, Memorial Day and World War II veterans, there's still like 300,000 left, but they're all in their mid to late 90s. Yeah. So they said within five years, they'll almost all be gone. Yeah. There's just like 400 a day passing away. So...

That's a pretty, that's a statistic that doesn't need to be said. Like they go, in five years, they're going to be gone. And they're like, I don't know, what if some of them lived to 100? Yeah, I mean, not everyone, but almost all will be gone. In 20 years.

I think it'd be better for them to go, in 20 years, they'll all be gone. Because obviously, it won't be 20. Yeah. But at least say 20, dude. You're just like, we're putting most of them down every day. I mean, the guy in five years, here you go. 400 die a day. You're like, what are we even doing? Just say 300,000 are alive. Yeah. We don't have to go. This is like baby statistics. That's why I threw it out. Yeah. Yeah.

You just like to talk about people dying? Yeah, it just made me think when I saw that. You know, eventually one day none of us will be here. You know, everybody, 100% of this podcast room will be dead. We'll die at some point. You ever think about that? Five years. Five years we'll all be dead. Everybody's going to be dead. We talked about the future episode. They're going to fix that. Yeah. You're going to live forever? Mm-hmm. Do you think you would be? No, I'm past that curve. How old are you? Am I past it?

No, we're the same age. Yeah. No, but if they're, like you're saying, you have to be a certain age for them to even try it. Like they're not going to do this to an 80 year old. Yeah, I don't know. But I saw in 60 Minutes the other night that if you're born right now, half the people born right now will live to their 103rd or 104th birthday. Mm-hmm.

I mean, this is all just made up. I don't know. When that doesn't happen, who's going to call that guy out? Nobody. He'll have been logged on. I'll be there. I don't know all the details, but 100, 100, some people will be living. All right, we're good, right? Yeah. Can I pitch a show?

Yeah. Zany's Comedy Club. We'll be headlining Zany's. Nice. June 13th. It's a Sunday, 4 o'clock afternoon show. All right. Come to Nashville for the weekend. Come to the show. You can be on the road by 6. Still be home. Be home. You should say then go to Broadway afterwards and party. Well, I'm just thinking if people have to be at work Monday morning. I think you're pitching to the audience that's going to come. You're going to be in bed by 6 o'clock. Come to my show. You won't miss 60 minutes. All right.

That's actually a better pitch. Yeah. All right, let me change that. We'll all be home. Come to my show. We'll watch 60 Minutes live. Come to my show. Then you watch the nightly news. And they're like, oh, the 10 o'clock? No, no, no, no, no. The 6 o'clock news. You'll be there early. Probably catch a little bit of 5.30. We'll watch party. You're going to see the end of the weather rolling right into the 6 o'clock regular news into 60 Minutes.

And be asleep by nine. Well, anyway, please come. Yeah. Yeah. June 25th through the 27th, I'm in Chicago at Zaney's Old Town. I'm headlining all weekend. Yeah. So come by. First place, Nate. One up. Yeah.

That's pretty interesting. Come on. That's a great club. Yeah, yeah. It's a big club. I'm excited. They did, yeah, it was the first place I ever went up. They had a piano on stage. Not ever went up, but it was the first club I ever worked at, hosted. Yeah. They still got the piano up there. Do they? Last time I was there, they didn't. Oh. Last time I was there, they were

There's a piano. Oh, wow. Maybe they've taken it down since. I saw a fight breakout in there, too. Kyle Kinane. Zany's Chicago is a great, it's an old club. It's been around for a long time. And Kyle Kinane was on stage, and I was in the very back. It's a long room. Narrow room. Narrow.

and I was in the back so I could hear them. And someone tells someone to be quiet, blah, blah, blah, and they just really get into it. And it's basically a fight breaking out. And it's so far back in the room, and they're in the front. So Kyle could tell something's going on, but you can't completely because it's just too far back. But I'm sitting back there, and so I'm just in it. And then these two dudes, one was an undercover cop, and so he's a police officer. And...

They're just both drunk. And then I get... Somehow I'm in the back of the kitchen and they're by the door in front of me just arguing with each other. And I'm just like in it. It looks like I'm a part of it. And I'm just sitting there like...

you know and that like in the and the cops came that were on duty and like cops got called yeah that's the hard part of your cop if you get into an argument a cop that's off duty and then he gets to be like well i'm a cop and then you're like well what am i gonna you weren't on duty when the fight started yeah yeah i know but then you can't do anything and then like he gets to pull that card to be like well i'm a cop and you're like they're gonna come of all the all the people you gotta start from someone else

Yeah, I'll be in Naples June 11, 13, and then Raincheck Tour. All on sale now. And we'll be adding cities. People keep always still saying, you coming here? Yeah, we're coming everywhere. So we'll be there. All right, this was an off-the-cuff episode, so it wasn't bad. I feel pretty good about it, man. Some great moments. I do think it shows why we do topics. Yeah.

We will see you guys next week. Have a good weekend. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.