#41 Philosophy
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Welcome, everybody. Glad to be back. We're living it up. We've had a good, I don't know. I feel like we've had a break. Yeah, it's been a few weeks, right? Yeah. A couple weeks. Yeah. I guess not too crazy. You were on the road at Appleton. In Appleton. It was a great time. Appleton, Wisconsin. Did a whole new hour. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

So, if people are coming to shows, I'm not saying it's all great, and I'm not saying that I'm always going to be. I think it was like 50, 55. The couple shows I did, a couple jokes on the special. So, it's, but we're at least, I feel like we got a solid, got a pretty good 20 to 25, pretty good. And then the rest is nonsense. Just absolute nonsense. Before we get started, too, I want to give a quick shout out to Brett.

Brett's a buddy of ours and he's at St. Jude and he's doing really good. Big fan of the podcast. Doesn't like one of y'all. I won't say which one. Brett privately told me. But we're with you, Brett, and keep staying strong, buddy.

So, yeah, let's get, you know, we're getting into it, I guess. Do we have like people quitting stuff? Did you have any of that or no? Oh, well, I mean, that list I gave you had a bunch more on it. So I'm changing my quitting. I'll go ahead and so it's what I've realized. Soda's coming back in my life.

Starting now. Starting now. I quit drinking soda. I did it for whatever it was, two weeks special. I think I gained weight. I was hoping that it would be this trigger that would stop me from eating nonsense. Then I just learned I can still eat pancakes with orange juice and I'm fine. Going a little bit harder and going to stop sugar.

Starting today is the day this podcast is out.

That's the key to my life, I think. And it's sugar. So soda's going to come back because I'm going to snap on everybody if I don't have something. Yeah. I'm going to lose my mind. And I don't drink as much soda as I might lead on to. Laura buys little 12-ounce things. I don't always even finish them. I can kind of stay off of it. If I go out to eat, I can sometimes probably do a few more refills than I should. But I'm not...

I don't think soda... And I'll drink water. But doesn't soda have sugar? Diet. I drink diet. So diet doesn't. If I was like, God ruins everything. You know what? Changing it again. Hello. They...

I'm not saying soda's great for you, diet soda's great for you, but I gotta have something, dude. I don't have any, like, getting rid of all this stuff. But my problem is, as you can see back there, there's Sour Patch Kids, like that kind of stuff, ice cream. I'm eating ice cream every night. Every night. Sour Patch Kids, candy. It's a nightmare. Sauces. I'm a big sauce. I mean, just throwing just full-on stuff. So with sugar, what I was told is I think I can eat

Like a sandwich. Like bread, I'm not really completely counting yet. I will hopefully get to it. But, I mean, if I eat a sandwich, it's like if I make a sandwich at home, I got to have mustard on it. I can't have mayonnaise or load it up with a bunch of garbage. Yeah. And that's what will... They can't do the candy alone. So we will see. I'm going to try it for...

Let's do it for two weeks and we'll see where we're at and I'll see if I change it again. But I'm hoping to, I think it'll be good. I mean, that gets rid of, you know, McDonald's. I can't, cause it's like ketchup and stuff like that. Uh, you know, so I'm hoping that, that, that something's got to, something's got to give. Yeah.

I didn't feel bloated after drinking diet soda and quitting that. You inspired a lot of people when you announced you were quitting. Well, I'm still quitting something harder. Yeah. So I'm stepping it up a notch. Sugar is very hard. It's not like you changed it to something easier. You went the exact opposite way. We have a packet of Sour Patch Kids back there from Kevin, our buddy Kevin. So that's where we're at. So let's see what happens. All right.

barf barfy man 362 hello folks is now our secret word to recognize other natelanders in the wild just shout it out yeah and they come out of the woodwork we hope so like what'd you say yell it at an airport and just see if anybody hello folks it's a little bit nicer to yell than bomb is hello folks uh you know

Either one, people will come out. That's right. No matter what. If you go, hello, folks, or bomb, you're going to get some attention. Kent Scroggins. Almost six months ago, I was sitting in a hospital room with my wife and a newborn son, listening to the animals episode and laughing uncontrollably at the penguin debate. Fast forward to now, we are back in the hospital for my six-month-old son, having lots of tests done on his heart.

We have been here a couple of days and have truly been waiting for the Wednesday morning drop of the latest Nate Land episode to take my mind off everything going on. It's just what I needed. Thank you for the laughs. We love y'all so much. Well, we love you, buddy. And yeah, we'll be thinking about you, praying for your son. He'll get in there, get in and out quick. You know, he's got a strong heart. Kids got strong hearts. Yeah. Yeah. It's anon01010.

That sounds like a robot. Love listening to the podcast. It's nice because it's interesting, but not too interesting. If I zone out mid-listen, I don't feel the need to rewind. And that's what we're about. Yeah. You know, I think as a podcast, we're not trying to get you to...

sit there and have to... You go, what'd they say? Rewind it. Yeah. We'll probably repeat it. We zone out ourselves and we don't even start over. I'll just kind of tap back in and be like, oh man, where were we? Doesn't matter. We're doing a podcast. I have never listened to an episode. You ever watch a movie with somebody and then like...

They get up and you're like, do you want me to pause it? And they're like, nah, I'm good. And you're like, oh man, that's kind of what this is. Yeah. You just leave it running. I'll fill in the holes pretty easy. I'm not sure when they, when they don't even give you like, you're like, you should go in the bathroom back in a couple of seconds. Now I might do some stuff, but it doesn't matter. I bet I can catch up. Yeah.

Evan Hegel or Heigl or Hegel. Hello, folks. I submitted an email last week regarding a funny story involving my best friend that I'm trying to get to listen to this podcast. I got this reply. Great story. Thanks for sharing. Never in my life have I read a response that better screamed at me. We're not going to read your dumb comment on our show. The rejection itself was nicely worded, though. So I suppose I have a beanie baby to thank for that.

Yeah, I mean, come on, man. We're getting hundreds of emails now. They're all so long, so boring. Oh, wow. I mean, I feel like I'm doing a nice gesture here by pretending like that was an interesting story and saying thanks. I mean, yeah.

Got it. And another thing, everyone thinks that you're checking these emails for some reason. So everyone's emailing saying, Nate, your special was so awesome. They're just gushing about it. And they'll occasionally throw in, Broccoli, I wish you'd get rid of him. And I have to reply, like you, thanks, man. That's so sweet. I have to misspell on purpose. Yeah.

Put commas in the wrong place. Just so they feel like they're getting a personal response from you. Yeah. Well, now they know. Thank you. Yeah. I like, you know, great story.

Great story. Thanks for sharing. Sounds good. Appreciate you reaching out. Just get those responses. We do get it. We get, you get a ton of them. You go through them, uh, and you read them all. Yeah. It's just a lot of work. Yeah. It's a lot of work to do. And I try to reply to them all, but yeah, sometimes you're just going to get great story. Thanks for sharing. Yeah. Sometimes that's cool, man. But we will read your entire complaint about that. Yeah. If you want to get on and complain about my response. Uh,

Great story. Thanks for sharing is the equivalent of just rubbing a kid's head and walking off. Good job, buddy. All right. Attaboy. Get out there. All right. Matt Parrish. Man, this is about the con artist episode. Man, what a phenomenal episode. Gary had some great stories. It was great watching Nate, Aaron, and Barney just watching all and listen as Gary talked about his absolutely insane childhood.

yeah I thought it was great too I mean it was definitely something different it was a different pod you know it wasn't just funny and silly but his life is like kind of just kind of fun like it's funny yeah uh

And I'll tell you what, guys, you were guys, everybody, our listeners, it was a big help for him. He's working on trying to make this either his own podcast, a book, a movie, something, because he's got a crazy story. So he's got to get practice in describing and telling his story, which is weird. You have to...

learn how to talk about that. Yeah. If he's never really talked about it, never in detail, you know, we're asking questions. If he goes and pitches this show, they're going to ask questions. So it's interesting. And he gets to learn to tell it in a intriguing way.

I've been using some bigger words. Ian Renfro. This episode is a bit too insightful. I feel like I'm learning things and hearing opinions from someone with an actual firsthand knowledge of the topic. It's weird and I don't like it. Let's get back to wild theories, minimal research, and baseless accusations.

Well, we're getting back to it. Today's his day. Today's his day. And a little fun fact, Gary doesn't have a dad. So what if that was the whole big twist? Yeah. Turns out Gary's dad, a banker and a normal person. Pretty good dude, actually. Pretty good guy. He was here. He drove him, picked him up. Glenn Rudolph. So this has been the best episode thus far. Lots of meat. Lots of meat. Just one question, though. Is Brian trying to be a heel?

I am sincerely asking. I cannot figure out his shtick. Brian, I think a lot of audiences want to know this too. Go ahead, Brian. I don't even know what that means. Is that like a bad guy? Yeah, it's like wrestling. Like a heel. Like the guy. Like the villain kind of. But why would he? Does he mistaken you for me? No. I don't know. No, no.

I think he's entertained by me, so he's asking, what are you doing? Brian? I'm the heel here. Yeah. No, I didn't think I was a heel. I thought I was a pretty nice guy, but... His wrestling move is the nose whistle. And he gets you a headlock and whistles in your nose, and you go, I submit! You tap out. No more! Yeah.

The refs are trying to pull me off of him, but I'm still whistling. Your nose is just sticking out. Your hands are in just... Look at him. And he goes, I can't do it. It was a Rikishi that would just put his butt in your face. Yeah. They'd rather have that than my nose whistle. They have you guys two wrestle. It's like two just kind of really annoying match. You win the annoying belt. It's just a belt of annoyance. What is my thank you?

That you would do as a wrestling move? Why are you saying he's annoying? No, I said the other guy with the butt on the face. Oh, they're talking about Aaron. No, no. I think you would something with your body. I'd go for his foot immediately. I'm not trying to lead you down a path, but I would use your...

body to the I'd use what I got I think you would try to you would you would be like what if I do this like I do like you do some kind of uh and they're like no what if you just that's what the butt guy they're like what if you just sit on his face and you're like I know but I can like jump you know so what if I climb on the top rope and they go I don't know man a lot of guys are climbing on the top rope so what if you just sit down your favorite activity and it's on that guy's face you ever think about that

And then you're like, yeah, all right. I guess I can. That had to be his conversation. I know, but I'd like, I want to go high. I can get really high. Imagine this force laying on him. They go, I know. I hear you, but.

Here to here, your force is a lot. And so just sit down on the guy. Freezy Bird. Like the Star Registry, you can buy one square foot of land in Scotland and then add Lord or Lady to your airline tickets. I think of that more of a gimmick than a scam. I did not know that. I like that a lot. Yeah, I'd never heard that. You just be Lord. Your ticket says Lord or Lady.

I don't even know which one I would like. Lady's pretty... Lady Bargetzi? Yeah. Lady Nate? Lady's a pretty... Lord, I know, is like the lord of a manor. Yeah. But the Lady's are pretty good. I don't know if you can choose. Lady Bird? Yeah, you can choose. You can get a Lady Ship Pack or a Lord Ship Pack. It's 50 bucks. That's not bad. That's not bad at all, man. And you get some land. You get a square foot of land. You have to buy the land and then...

You have to own something in Scotland. Do you have to mow it? Yeah.

They plant a tree in your little one square foot of land. I'm mowing. You got to mow. The fact that you'd buy this land for 50 bucks and then you got to fly there to mow it. You have to go take care of it. You got to go take care of it and landscape it. Get your weed eater. It's just like 1,000 guys going, all right, see you guys next month. All right, man. And like, it's just real quick. All right, can I leave mine? And then you talk to your neighbor and go, what if, how much would it cost me to pay you to...

Do just a little more of a swipe and get a little bit farther. Hit me. Come back. I'll buy you your land if you mow my land. Frank Galena. Galena, I am a lawyer and was literally on my way to court when I heard Nate say he think he could bluff his way through being a lawyer. Before you try, make sure you learn what the statute of limitations is for impersonating a lawyer.

Yeah. What are statutes? What is it? Statute? Statute is the correct. Statute. It's not a statue? It's not a sculpture of limitations. Yeah, I got a sculpture of limitations. It's a statue of Brian. Pretty good. All right. Yeah, I'm the heel. You're right, Glenn. That's right. My mistake. I'll work on it. The crowd goes crazy. Yeah.

That's pretty funny. That'd be a pretty funny thing to say to someone. I got a statue of limitations and it's of you. It's a pretty good put down. You guys should use that as a lawyer as you go in there. Yeah, you know what? All right. I'm the greatest below average American. Middle-aged episode. Rex, Rex, final, final. Love how quickly this episode took a dark turn. Five minutes in and Nate's asking Brian when he thinks he'll be ready to die. Yeah.

Let him talk. Timothy Ewing, my great grandmother is 103 and she's been ready to die for most of the time I've known her. The joke started in her mid 90s, but now whenever someone walks in the room, she just yells, I'm ready to be done with this crap. God, that's so funny to be the most of the time he's known her.

Just, hey, how you doing? I'm your grandson, Timothy. Oh, God, another one. Timothy, I hoped we would never meet, but it looks like we are. I mean, good night. I mean, Timothy's got to be... Great grandmother, so... Yeah. I mean, 103. Timothy's got to be 20. I mean, what if he... He could be old enough to have a kid. What if he has a kid, and then she's like, are you kidding me?

Are you kidding? Like, it's a joke. Nick Robertson. There has to be some comedy gold hidden in the Bates golf swing. I about fell out of my chair laughing. And by the time I calmed down, he was just finishing his follow through. There is definitely comedy gold in that swing. You see, they put the video in the podcast last week. Yeah, surprised me. They're right here. Well, on Aaron land. Yeah. You just talked about him. Like, you know, did you see like we ship it off to Scotland with our land and that's where they edit it.

Did you see? Did you guys see that they've been filming us this whole time? Has anybody seen that? We've been doing this podcast on YouTube. Yes. That was very good that y'all put the golf swing in. Because you got to see it.

Even a person that doesn't golf, I think, would go, what's his foot doing? You compared it to a gymnast landing, and then they collect themselves, and then you... That's exactly what it is. And a person's already kind of walked up there. Yeah, yeah. When his foot goes up, the other person's already putting their T in the ground, and he's like, oh, I didn't know you were done. I got to think you were done. I like to, in my little fun joke I started doing, is I like to...

When someone watches their tee shot for a long time, like walk up there and they're just like, you got everything? Wallet, keys? Because they're just, you're like, get out of the way. You're watching this worm burner. You want to see it finish out? Don't worry, we'll walk by it.

Lucas Vicroy. There's almost 14 minutes on court gestures and less than 90 seconds on the Crusades. If that tells you anything about this pod, that tells you a lot about this pod. I mean, that is exactly right. You guys have learned about the Crusades long enough. Right. Court gestures. Yeah, we spent 15 minutes on rolling the farter, and then we were just like, and the Crusades happened. Oh, well, that seemed like a tough time. Court what? Court gestures. How do you say it?

You got called out a lot for people. Oh. Jesters. Jesters. Yeah. You can say jesters. I say like Chester. Like Chester drawers. No, like... Do you think that's who invented them? Court Jester and then Chester drawers and he goes, I'll just change it to CH and then didn't even notice. We're going to sell Chester drawers on our website. Yeah.

What do you mean? That's jester. It's not like I'm putting an H in there. Yeah, you're saying it like, oh, that was a nice gesture. Gesture. But it's jester. Jest her. Like jest her. Jest her. Jest her. Who's in there? Jest her. She's in there alone. That's closer. Court jester. So I should say jest her. That's closer than gesture. Court jester. That's better. Jest her in court. Uh...

uh chris i mean yeah those words i have trouble like uh when there's you know those words there's a there's a collision of sounds right in the middle of them i have a tough time you know when there's a car wreck of noise in the middle of a word i have a i have a bit a bit of a trouble bit of a trouble with it christina gerrard

I have laughed hysterically at every single episode of them. My biggest laugh so far came from this episode when Nate said, I think we've got a new Krispy Kreme challenge. I ugly laughed for so long that I think it was mainly the visual I had of the three of you doing it. Yeah, that's going to be our new one that we're going to go do. A lot of people said I got the whistling part down. I know. You got to leg up in this. Yeah.

You're so talented you don't have to even worry about the whistling part. But if you focus on the whistling part, he goes, no, I don't even. That's natural, dude. That's going to come out. It's the other stuff.

I just do my thing. We ate Krispy Kreme to get ready for this challenge. Alan, there was no medieval... Oh, Alan is his name. That sounded like Alan, like I was telling him. Alan, let me take some, Alan. There was no medieval scribe called Xerox. Are you kidding me, Alan? I'm telling him. I'm turning this comment around on him. Hey, Alan, guess what? There was no medieval scribe called Xerox. How do you feel about that? Make him feel like he's the dummy. Yeah.

Your explanations of Bouncer, red-handed, and don't chew the messenger are also false. There are references to killing a messenger in the times of ancient Greece, but no evidence of a law being passed in the Middle Ages to stop it happening. The explanation of pay through the nose is disputed, but again, there's no evidence for nose cutting as a punishment.

What you said about nest egg, sink, or swim in Baker's Dozen might be right, but Baker's Dozen is disputed. He's basically saying everything I threw out was wrong. We shouldn't have even done the episode. I don't know. What's your source, Alan? This guy's dropping a lot of facts here. He says it's called folk etymology. I didn't put that in there because, I mean. So he's a folk etymologist, Alan? Etymologist. Etymology, I could say that. Oh, okay.

Some words are good. Some good. Some words are bad. But yeah, he's basically saying my information is incorrect. Yeah. Well, that's a shocker. Maybe Alan should go edit some Wikipedia entries in his spare time. Aaron, a little more on that on Aaron land. Uh, you guys want to this week, listen to Aaron, uh, and Caleb. Caleb's not here. Listen to, uh, uh,

Aaron, break down Alan. Well, it's just a solo pod this week. Just ranting. Just, yeah. Just me going. Breaks down the Alan comment on Aaron land. That'll actually be me going at Alan like you were doing earlier. All right, Alan. Alan comes in and defends himself on Aaron land.

We're going to roll. What's the thing? I always have to do that where you have to go, hey, everybody, you're watching. I'm Nate Bargetzi. You're watching Nate Land Podcast. You have to do that. We have to do it for Aaron Land. Like a little teaser. What's up, everybody? Nate Bargetzi. You're listening to Nate Land and Aaron Land. Go. All right. This week, we're going to see. This one could be. I don't even know. This could go off the rails real quick. Yeah. We're going to dive into a little...

Philosophy, right? Yeah. Philosophy, which is...

Exactly, dude. Yeah. Your favorite thing. No. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. I found that a lot of standup comedians majored in philosophy. Yeah. And there's even a class philosophy of comedy because they say comedy and philosophy are the two professions where the goal is to find the central truths and what it is to be human. Yeah. So we're trying to, we're doing, we're trying to figure stuff out. Yeah. Yeah. So you majored in philosophy. Uh,

That was the goal. I failed a class called formal logic. Failed it twice. That sounds legit. Yeah, it was a tough class. I failed it twice, so technically I finished with a minor. I didn't know that until right now. Yeah, but I'm literally one credit short of a major. So why don't you go get that credit? I don't know if you can just tap back in. I think I'm out. They don't let you go back?

I think maybe I can go. I don't know how... You're stuck in the minors? You don't get to get up to the big leagues? That's what happens in college? Somebody asked me about this recently. I don't know if you can just be like, hey, can I just tap back in real quick? Was it your dad? No, it wasn't. That sounds like something your parents would... You know, I was talking to someone the other day about if I should go to college and get a real job. Who was this? Oh, my mom and dad. And they...

Maybe I could. You guys could go back to school together. I don't know how much that would change my life. I got a long way to go. Yeah. I have zero credit. You have a little more than one credit to get. I have zero. How many credits do you need to graduate? A lot. A hundred? I don't know. No. But you just... Well, maybe. But you just wanted to take a class just to have some experience, right? I would... Yeah. I would take a class to have... You know, when do you go to school? Monday to Friday, right? And then...

So what, I mean, where I'm going probably, what do we, mine might be a night, you know, after work. Yeah. Yeah. When you, you got to go Monday to Friday. I want the real experience.

Can you go take a class? Can you just hop into a college? That's what I'm wondering. I think to re-enroll, but I just want to tap back in real quick, take one class and then tap out. But don't athletes that go play pro and they're short, they go back? You can do that. But you already graduated. Yeah, I've already graduated. So is the door shut because you graduated? I don't know. I'll send an email. Why don't they teach you that in college? They probably should. This is probably something everybody knows except me. Maybe you should have...

Yeah. Yeah. Did, so you were going to, what would you have been if you majored in philosophy? I have no idea. I wasn't thinking about that. Yeah. I was just thinking, I like it. Yeah. So. But are there people whose sole profession is philosophy? Yeah. You get into teaching or you, you know, you'd be a writer or you'd go to law school. I mean, you can, you can do stuff with it.

But no one just sits around thinking of wise quotes. No, I don't think so. You can work for a think tank or something, but I don't know if they want some dude in there. I had a professor who I saw on campus, and he would always ride his bike in a figure eight on the quad.

And he'd smoke cigarettes and talk to himself. And I just remember I saw him and I was like, oh, I want to take that guy's class. Like, I want to hear what that guy's thinking. Yeah, yeah, I would too. Yeah, you're like, what's going on in his head? What's the quad? Just the middle of the... The quad's just like the grass in between the buildings and stuff. Is it called a quad or just college is called a quad? It's called a quad. In between four buildings? Can a quad be outside of a college? Yeah.

I mean, you like, if you can call your backyard a quad or something. I have been, I just want to know if that's correct or not. So there's, I don't know. All I know about the quad is from, from God, just blanked on the movie.

The Will Ferrell movie. Old school. Old school. Yeah. We're running into the quad. Like, that's the only thing I know about the quad. And then I didn't... But then is it... So it's just where everybody kind of sits. Like when you see a movie about college and they're all sitting in the field. That's where they are. Yeah. It's just like a little courtyard area between buildings. Does everybody call it a quad? We call it a quad. I thought it was the center of four buildings. I mean, that's probably what the actual definition of it is. I guess I'd never thought about it before now. Just a grass area.

So you're not into philosophy that much. Because I'm getting out of the nit and gritty. You probably had a quad. It was just at the top of that hill, so you never went. No, yeah. I don't know where our quad was at. We would meet and smoke cigarettes at the parking lot of Ball State Community College. No, I didn't smoke. But that's the place that you guys want to go smoke some Marlboro Reds over in the...

In my car. Yeah, that's what we called it. It was a quad. It was a four-door Honda that we would meet in. That was the quad. That was the quad. And at Ball State, we'd go meet at the quad. And we knew. And everybody else would go to this field. And they'd be like, where are they? And we were in the real quad. Yeah. So when you were going to leave, when did you tell your parents you were going to do comedy? I'd been doing it probably six months. And they were happy.

Yeah, because I wasn't doing it full time. I had a real job. Yeah, yeah. Oh, but they were just like, fine, you're trying. Yeah. It makes no more sense than being a philosophy major. Were they fine with that? Yeah, yeah. My dad was a theology major. I mean, it's kind of a thing in our family where you just don't have a practical degree or anything. So they were never that worried about it. Just trying to keep the dinner conversations fun. That's all y'all went to college for, just so y'all can...

Come home on the holidays and getting a nice debate. Yep, yep. That's what it was all about. Yeah, yeah. Gregorian calendar. Yeah. Uh-huh. Just... Y'all are just clapping at each other. Yeah, we're just throwing stuff at each other, running around. We played kickball yesterday, so that's what we were doing. But you guys would have been... You would have brought a blanket out and set it on the dirt. The quad? The quad, yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, philosophy. I don't even know how to get into it because I don't, you know. I knew nothing about philosophy. It means love of wisdom. That's what it means. I knew the big philosopher. I didn't know anything about him, but I heard of him. Aristotle, which you've quoted on here. Ted Lasso. Ted Lasso. I don't know why y'all. I at least talked to Ted Lasso. That's true. Aristotle ain't doing this podcast, is he?

Ted Lasso is. So this says there's four branches of philosophy. Do you know that? No, I mean, I haven't heard it broken down like that. I mean, I'm sure it makes sense. It's a very good answer. I mean, that's a philosophy answer. No, I don't think we were breaking it down when we were doing it. Go ahead, Brian. You know, when I took that class, we weren't... I don't think that was being done yet, but go ahead. What did you hear? I'll tell you if that's true. Is it...

Government? Is it the justice system? I'm trying to spitball here. Quad? Metaphysics? Epistemology? Epistemology, yeah. All right. Do you know what he's talking about now? Yeah, I've heard of these words. Yeah. What's the final two here? What do you have? You have epistemology and metaphysics. I don't know. What are the other two? Okay.

Exology? Exology? Which means ethics? Okay. And the last one's logic. Okay. Do you know what any of those mean? Yeah, I know what all those words mean, but I don't know. I've never heard it broken down like that. Like there are four different types. But you could tell me what epistemology means. Yeah. What does it mean? It's just how we come to know things, how we...

knowledge, right? Like, so like to me, I just learned that right now from him epistemologically. So he would be my answer for that. They would say epistemic. What is it? That's what it means, right? I don't, I mean the fundamental nature of existence in reality. Oh wait. Yeah. Knowledge and belief. Yeah. Sorry. Knowledge and belief. Yeah. Of where you learn it. Yeah. And I learned it here. How we know what we know. How we know what we know. Yeah. I know it because of him. Yeah.

That would be my answer in that class. Where did you... How do you know that? You told me. How do you know? Yeah.

That seems like... What if you teach that class and you're like, I am... The last day you go, and by the way, I am the... Whatever the word is. What's the word? I don't know the word. Epistemology? Epistemology. Epistemology. Is that what the last thing he says before you walk out? I am epistemology. You're done and know that I am your epistemology. Because he is where you learned it. That's true. Is that not... I mean, that...

And like the ego on this guy, like he reveals it at the end. And you go, oh, you could have just said that at the beginning probably. And he goes, I could have, but I wanted a semester's worth of telling you. And then you always have to say, who's your epistemology guy? Yeah. And you go, well. It's like your exterminator. You have an epistemology guy. You got a good guy? And he's local. He's pretty reasonable. Yeah.

Do you have an answer to that? Because I think that's a good question. I kind of lost track of what the question was. Metaphysics? Do you know what that is? Yeah. I mean, I can explain it. I can read it. Metaphysics is beyond physics. Meta just means beyond in a way. It's like metaphysics is talking about things that aren't necessarily in the physical world. That sounds like a neat answer. So like spirits...

Or just... Yeah, anything you can't put under a microscope and look at. Light? Energy? Those are physical things. I don't know. Air? Oxygen? Sure. That would be a metaphysical thing. That's a different way to go. What'd you say? I said oxygen. Something that doesn't exist? I was thinking almost small things. Like...

gravity? is COVID a part of it? is COVID metaphysical? nah it's a real thing man oh it is? but love is a real thing so emotion stuff that you can't measure? stuff that can't be observed and perceived through the senses your conscience? how about right and wrong? that would be a metaphysical thing maybe yeah

Could you give us an example? I just did. Okay. Yeah, we'll get into it. All right, all right. We're not even into it yet. I'm almost done. We're still reading the definition of philosophy. Nate was about to say, okay, are we done? Let's wrap this up. It's been about an hour and a half, right? How do you think I feel about this episode right now? Is that described in those words that you just said? Metaphysically? Yeah, I think so.

Okay, so who's the most fun? Plato? Is that the most famous philosopher? Aristotle, probably, but Plato's right there with him. Who would have been more fun to be with? Good question. Yeah. Well, that's a good question, because Plato asked, you can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. An hour of play? So he's like, you can learn more about a guy on the golf course than hanging out with him for days. Yeah. Right? Or chilies. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I've never heard that quote before, but I think that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. I mean, you're debating Plato said it. So, I mean, that's.

I think the audacity alone of just going, Aaron, you think Plato was right on that? You're like, no, I think that guy's a quack job. He's a quad job, if you know what I mean. These are all the smartest people who have ever lived, all these philosophers, I think. So it's easy to look back at them now, knowing everything we know now about science and technology and stuff, and just think that they're ridiculous, but...

but I think they're the smartest people ever. Ever. Over Albert Einstein. Yeah. Well, you know, it wasn't until pretty recently that we made distinctions between all the sciences. So like when you hear that these guys are philosophers, they were biologists and physicists. They just did everything. It was all just under one umbrella kind of. Yeah. But the other science is like... That's like when you did it before they had it broken up into four things. Yeah.

When you were doing it, that's why you didn't know the four things, because you're like, we were kind of doing it all under one thing. Oh, but I guess now we're breaking it up even more. Science is advanced, so researchers are doing different types of science than they did 500 years ago. Sure. But isn't philosophy, aren't they debating the same stuff today? Yeah.

Yeah, there's still a lot of debate about it. So is there any advancement in philosophy? Has anybody figured out some new questions? Oh, yeah. There's still a lot going on in the philosophical world.

Is it just like, can you hear a tree if it falls in the woods? There's all kinds of good stuff like that. So there's guys that are just figuring that question. I don't know what that's... We got more riddlers, basically, coming around. That's what philosophy is. Kids have some of the best philosophy. Yeah. Could God make a rock so big that even he couldn't lift it? It's a paradox. And so y'all just talk about that for an hour? No. What do you bring to the real world after that conversation?

These are the building blocks of everything that we know, of all society. These are like fundamental questions that people have been trying to answer for years. So it's like, you've got to remember, these guys are starting with nothing. We have the benefit of thousands of years of functioning society. These people are like, let's try to figure everything out. We got nothing. What if a thousand years...

And then you find out the answer is no. To what question? To any of them. They all ask yes and no questions? Yeah. It's like kind of good. You're like, no. And then you go, okay. So let's do... I want to talk about some of those paradoxes that I sent you. Okay. So before all of the guys you've heard of, Aristotle, Plato, there's a guy named Parmenides. I don't know if I'm saying his name correctly, but...

who's also the name of my World of Warcraft character for a while, Parmenides, the main thing he's known for is he believed that all motion and movement is impossible. So anytime you think something is moving or something is changing, that's just an illusion. Is this Zeno? Yeah, so Zeno created these paradoxes to back Parmenides up. Oh, okay.

to to kind of illustrate the same point so here here's the paradox it's called the dichotomy paradox which just means to cut into so let's say nate you wanted to reach across the table and slap me in the face yeah okay just are you just wrap your head around that yeah in order to do that you would have to get your hand halfway across this table first right

And in order to get to that point, you would have to get it halfway to that point, a quarter of the way across the table. But before you get it there, you would have to get it halfway to that point, an eighth of the way across the table. You can keep doing that an infinite amount of times. Therefore, it is impossible for you to reach across the table and slap me in the face. Yeah. So that's the paradox there. Because to get to any point, you have to first get halfway to that point.

But if my full reach can get to you, I don't care if you break it down into all these little lines. You'd be like, well, there's a thousand lines you've got to cross on that table. Yeah. Well, I have the arm length to cross. Well, it certainly looks as if you're doing that. Let's test it. But logically, it's impossible for you to do it. Just test it out and see. Let's do an experiment. But it's not if I could. Yeah, I'm saying what... Did he get slapped when he said this? Yeah.

I mean, that's how much this guy could have been. People didn't like it, man. I'd imagine. He goes, so you can't even. Boom.

And he's like, all right, okay. Okay. But logically, how can you explain that? Because you agree with the premises of this, right? That to get to any point, you have to get halfway there first. But I know, but if I can reach that, then it doesn't really matter how much you're breaking down. You can make up a bunch of words that keep going, but halfway here and halfway there. But if the reach is the reach, the reach is the reach. Okay. So like, if it's going to happen, it

If it's got the link to do it. You can't talk me out of my reach. Yeah. Okay. I'm saying it certainly looks like you're doing that, but logically it's impossible for you to do it. So this is all an illusion. Oh, this is. Yeah, that's all an illusion. Yeah.

In terms we would understand, is it like when the goal falls on the half-inch line and someone jumps off sides and they say half a distance to the goal? Yeah, they keep going half the distance to the goal. You're like, there's nowhere else to go. Right. Yeah, you just – well, you zoom in a bunch and you just – you never get there eventually. You never get there if you just keep going halfway to the goal. But if you do get there in real life –

Then what does the guy say to that? It certainly appears as if you get there, yeah. If it appears and you feel when my hand hits your face and you go, it does feel like you hit me.

Because then technically, then I can hit you. And then if I get arrested, I'll be like, why didn't hit him? Yeah, because it's impossible for me to hit him. And then your boy Xerox, your boy Zeno, his tone's going to change when the cops show up. And he goes, he hit me. And you go, but you said I couldn't because of the, tell him. I would say, tell him. Tell the cop what he said.

And the cop's sitting there, he goes, he's going to write this down. What'd you say? He goes, I was trying to tell him that half of the hat, he couldn't hit me. And then what do you do? He hit me. But logically, I, then I would go tell him logically though, could I do it logically? And then, and then Zeno goes logically, no, he can't do it.

I go, then what are we doing here? And the cop lets me go. That's who you want as your lawyer right there. Talk about that. I should be a lawyer. I mean, obviously I agree with you, but that's just, that was, God, thousands of years ago. People were talking about that. So there's another one. He has another one. If you go outside in your backyard and you drop a grain of rice on the grass, that doesn't make a sound, right? You're not going to hear it.

But if you drop a thousand grains of rice on the grass, you will hear that. But how is that possible? Because it's a thousand zeros doesn't equal anything other than zero. So that's all an illusion too. But if it's the, the, the one grain that you're dropping does make a sound. You just can't hear it. So the more I stack onto it. Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly right. Did he have anybody to talk to? Like,

This is Aaron's hero. Could he try out on somebody? Did he have a buddy? An open mic? Just someone that goes, what are you, crazy dude? You're going to tell the real world this?

I mean, I would have crushed it a thousand years ago. Was he like a waiter or something? But you have the benefit of all these guys' knowledge. Yes. And you live now. Yeah. Imagine being the first guy to even think about any of this stuff. Yeah. That's true. Pretty crazy. So he worked at Applebee's and he dropped a thousand grains of rice and he's like, technically, I did nothing. Okay. Well, back to Plato. Yeah.

Do you guys buy into the theory of his, you can learn more about a person playing than, do you learn about people in the golf course that you wouldn't learn the other way? It's probably right and wrong. Fairness.

Hmm. I play, oh, do I learn about them? Yeah. I played with a guy. Here's, yes, I do. I, what I do believe, I believe most people lie about what they're doing. Yeah. I think of it with working out. I think people tell you they work out and I, if you could go see their workout, I bet it wouldn't be working out. I, uh,

veter who works out gary did our workout that we've been doing here and he was like oh that's like a real workout now i'm working out with a guy that's showing me how but it just shows me that i'm like but but if i ask gary if he works out he would tell me he does and everybody says they do so i think people say they do a lot more than they do and they and i think it goes down to just anything to them they can they can do something they can say oh no uh

Yeah, I went to the range and hit some balls the other day, and they could have went up there for 10 minutes. But they put out the statement of like, I'm Tiger Woods. I've been up there practicing all day. But they don't go, I barely did anything. I did not accomplish anything. But they throw out that they did accomplish anything. And I think that happens a lot. In the golf course, I see it. I played with it. We played with a guy one day, and I told him to hit another – just take another ball, hit another ball. Yeah.

Or I even have it when I play with you, where I tell you when I say pick the ball up, right? And you say I want to put the ball in the cup. The way I look at it is like you're trying to be like, well, I don't want to cheat. But you are going to cheat because when you hit one out of bounds and I say hit another one, you could go, okay. Because you're like, all right, I don't have to count it. You're like, no. So you do cheat. But then you're going to make me watch you miss five putts from a foot out. Yeah.

Took a hard turn. Yeah. No, but like the logic, but the logic of that is some reason mentally I played with another guy that was, he wanted to, he goes, I was like, just, you're good. I gave him a putt. It's like a 10 foot putt. I gave it to him. Yeah. This guy's shooting 150 out there. 10 feet. Don't worry about it, man. But they're like, no, I want to hear the ball come in. All right. If you want to, if you want to putt this.

then you've got to pick it up somewhere else. He's already cheating. He's not playing by the rules. He's already kind of moving the ball around, hitting a mulligan here and there. So if you're going to cheat, dude, cheat. But make it all come together. If you want to hear that ball go in, then, I don't know, cheat more up at the top and then drop at the end. But your score doesn't matter. You getting out here is the objective.

The other guy that was this guy that told the same thing. It's always something they go, no, I told him to take a mulligan. He said, I don't take mulligans. I'll play the ball. And I watched this guy in this hole. Ball goes out off to the right. It's par three. Goes off into just the grass. It's gone, right? He goes, I'll take a mulligan. All right, no, he won't take a mulligan. Goes up there. Like tries to hit it out of the grass. Cannot get out of the grass. Ends up throwing it out of the grass. Ends up then...

like chipping in a hundred times up onto the green. And then he's just like, well, I'll just pick up. It's a double bogey. You're like, all right, but you, you're cheating. Yeah. So just when I don't make me feel stupid for trying to give you a shot at the team. When I go do just do a mulligan and you act like you're holier than thou. But then I watch you cheat within three minutes of you acting like you're not this cheater. Yeah.

Because they will cheat once their back's against the wall and they hit a bad shot. That's not fun. So once the fun gets taken, then they do it. So I'd notice that a lot. I see that a bunch. It drives me crazy. And you wouldn't see somebody's character put to the test like that in just a conversation at a restaurant, you know? No, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You can see that they're like, are they, you know, Felix, who we always, you know, everybody talks about him in this podcast, but like he's not good at golf.

And he's working on getting better. But Felix will just – he'll hit a bad shot, and then he goes and drops the ball with you at the next shot. Because that's what it's about. It's not about, like, let's all go look for his ball every hole or something. It's like, you're out here, dude. Just come – if you're playing with guys better than you, your score means nothing that day, to be honest. Now, I know people are like, but I want to play for real. Then you go play on your own somewhere else. If you're really bad, just –

I want you to, it's fun to be out there, all of us together and we can do it, but don't be this. Don't hold up the people that are actually good. I mean, I watched him play terrible and I tried to give him a putt. He goes, no, no, we're playing a nice course. I'm going to take it serious. And I was like, I'm not. And I told him, I was like, I can't watch. I can't watch this all day.

So you're going to have to take some stuff. Like, they don't – I don't think they know it. Like, golf is very – it kind of can be very loose. It's very – I think people think it's about the rules, and it is if you're playing in a real competitive kind of format. That's why, like, a match play format's really good because it can just be like, if I beat you on the hole, then you can pick the ball up. Mm-hmm.

I know everybody wants to know their score, but if I can already guess your score is going to be over 100, well over 100, then it's also about the hang. And don't make it where you hate it. You're going to hate it if I make you count every stroke. You're going to shoot 150 if I make you count every stroke. That's not fun. We shared on here a couple weeks ago, our philosophy on life is kind of just not to be noticed. Right? Didn't we all say that? And golf is the ultimate place where...

You and I know we're not going to be great. We just don't want to be so bad that... Just don't be a liability. Get out of the way. Just get out of the way. I know you want to hear a ball go in the cup. I get that. But it's also like, then putt it twice. And hit it before the other person putts. No one cares about that when you're playing. Go hit it twice. Get it in the cup. Do whatever you want. And then get out of the way. But don't be lining this up and all this kind of crazy stuff. When you're...

If you got a birdie putt, no one's going to, or a legit par, or maybe legit even bogey. We're going to let you be like, no, take it serious and putt it. But when it's for a 10. Yeah, your 10th stroke. All right, dude. Come on. Relax. Relax. Yeah. All right. So Aristotle and Plato are kind of known as the fathers of Western philosophy. Aristotle, another golf thing here. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act, but a habit.

So I take that as practice, practice, practice. Right? Yeah. His whole thing was about the goal of life is to live well. Living well. And he kind of laid out this exact plan of how to live the best life. Who is this? This is Aristotle. Aristotle.

So when he says excellence... I just said it like it was a comic. A comic. What's his name? This is Alan. Yeah, where did he go to high school? Go ahead, Ray. Taternookum? Yeah. So excellence is a habit. What does he mean by that? Just doing something repeatedly. Living your life as...

a certain way and it becomes habit? Yeah. Yeah. Just doing all the right things. That makes me think like the 10,000 hour thing. Yeah. Yeah. The Malcolm Gladwell. Well, that's taking like excellence. Yeah. That book, 10,000 Hours, is great. Yeah. Like the Beatles, they played, and people don't know it, but the Beatles played at just some bar, I think, or something. Yeah.

for a couple years before people never even heard of them. So like the hours, I always say that with New York. New York is always... Do you think you've been on stage for more than 10,000 hours? I guess you start doing hours and that starts to add up pretty quickly. I mean, you do 100... So if I do 100 dates, it's 100 hours a year on top of you're adding all your extra kind of stuff. Yeah. But I mean, 100 hours a year, that would be... What would that take? That'd take... 10 years to get 1,000. 1,000, yeah. I mean, that would...

So you have to do more than 100 hours a year. I bet it's... Your 10,000 hours, to me, I don't feel like it's exactly... It doesn't necessarily mean exactly 10,000 hours. I was just curious whether... But I think that's why New York was so good. I always say New York, it's like dog years. So it's like you just... If you meet a two-year comic from somewhere else, you're a seven-year comic. Or whatever. What is it? Nine years. Seven years old. 14. Yeah, you just end up being...

Not necessarily, but you just end up being a lot more because I'm going up every single night, multiple times a night, even if it's for 10 minutes here and there or whatever it is, and the time gets more and more. Yeah, you just say stuff so much, and you're in front of people so much. I mean, even though most of your life is not in front of people, most of your life or professional life is just all in front of people. It's just talking to people. And so you just get really good at...

knowing how to now do that. And you learn how to, all the words I can't say, I know how to learn to not use those. You learn all these little things that go, well, I can't do that. And then you figure out other ways. Socrates, another one of the big fathers of Western philosophy. How did these guys get so smart? Yeah. Well, they're just born smart. Did they go to school? Did they go...

Yeah, they devoted their whole life to this. Yeah. And they're also just by chance like the smartest people ever. Yeah, yeah. But did they, was there like college and stuff? Like were they going to? Well, these guys set up, Plato set up one of the first. The first, I think, right? The first institution of higher learning. And they would just get all these dudes together and just be like, let's just figure stuff out. Let's just sit around and think. You think you'd be offended that there's Plato? No.

Wait, what? That you play with Play-Doh? Kids play with Play-Doh? Like he would, if he was there and you go, Play-Doh. And he goes, yes. And you go, no, no, no. Right behind you. Could you hand me that Play-Doh right there? And he's like, all right. And then he, would he be, does no one want to ask me any questions? And you go, I don't know if we're playing with Play-Doh. It's more fun than whatever nonsense you're going to yell at me.

I've never made that connection between the two of them. Well, it's spelled differently. That's probably why. I know, but it's so funny. You are too high on your high horse. Yeah, we learned that. We learned that last week. Oh, yeah. It was probably wrong. Yeah, it was wrong. Oh, yeah, according to Alan. Yeah. Yeah.

We'll talk about it on... How long is my Wikipedia? How did... I wonder how they found each other, these smart guys. You know, like, you know, Socrates over... Were they just in the same area? Three towns over. Yeah, these were all ancient Greeks, these three. Aristotle, Plato, and... Socrates? Socrates, yeah. Do they... They all taught each other, too. Are they... How... What's the... What's the years? Are they, like... This is... This is, like, 400 B.C. Yeah.

Socrates was first, and then I believe he taught Plato, and then Plato taught Aristotle. And Aristotle briefly taught Alexander the Great for a little while. He was like a famous pupil. That's what made him great, right? Yes. Talk about, the other names are so good, and then he's like, what's your name? He goes, Alexander the Great. And you go, all right. So I'm Aristotle, right? And that's Plato, that's Socrates. You see what I mean? Like, it's kind of like a thing. And he goes, so like, what do you want to be? And he goes, I'm Alexander the Great. And he goes, okay.

No, you can't. Alex. Alex. The least creative dick name. Alex, can I talk to you for a second? Alex. What are we doing here? Ow. Come on. We all have these kind of, you know what I mean? Like they're kind of fun names. Pope Greg. Come on. Pope Greg. Yeah, it's the same thing. Was Aristotle, was his real name? Yeah, these are all Greek names. Ari? Yeah. Did he go by Ari? He might have gone by Ari. What did his mom call him?

aristotle that's greek yeah come to dinner something like that and then he said mom do we are we even eating this dinner and she slapped him but what is this dinner what is what is a table what is a table that's the dude that's the stuff i really like about aristotle of just the question of like

what is stuff like this table all right yeah this table what makes this table a table what are some of the properties of this table it's made out of wood right it's a wooden table yeah yeah so if it were not made out of wood if this were steel would it still be a table yeah okay so it's not the woodenness that makes this a table yeah what tomorrow is this still going to be a table i don't know that's another question was this a table last week

I mean, people have complained about it. The table? Yeah. I might break it after talking about it. But it's not a function of time, right? It's not a function of time that makes this a table. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And what if we picked this up and moved this in the other room? It would still be a table. Yeah, but what if we said that it's just a word we're using because we put our stuff on it and so we don't have to do this every time. What if you told Aerosaw that and he goes, so is it a table? I go, I know, but we're trying to live a life, dude. So I can't when it's like,

You know, I got four kids. I'm like, your breakfast is on the table. I can't. Wait, well, what is it? We can't miss school again because we're going, what is a table? Look, well, that's why all these guys did this for us. So we don't have to do it. Were they single guys? Well, they were doing weird stuff back then. So I don't want to. Yeah, that's another. There's a lot going on. That's Aaron. That's weird to you. You might want to hear that episode on Batesville.

where uncensored and he gets after it. But the point is... The point is that the essence of this is a table. Aristotle would say that it has the essence of a table. And all these other things are just, he called them accidental properties of it. This is like revolutionary stuff at the time. What is a thing? Is it just a collection of all these different properties? There's no answer.

I mean, there's debate about what's the right way to think about stuff. Yeah. There's still debate about it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we're debating about taxes and stuff now. They were debating about a table. Well, is a human really a human? Yeah. Well, yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Big questions, man. What's the answer? It's a lot. Aaron Land? Yeah. Save for the Patreon episode on Aaron Land. I feel like Aristotle's...

like his if he's not married his girlfriend every girlfriend was just like like i mean just a lot of just that because it's just like i don't know yeah these guys might have been insufferable to be around oh it might have been brutal but i think they just but they were plato had these symposiums where they would just they just sit around and just lively discussion they just talk like this that's like their whole existence same age

Yeah, well, Plato was before. Aristotle was like the generation after Plato. They taught each other. Socrates was first. Yeah, Socrates was the first guy. Would they have all met?

I don't know if Socrates ever met Aristotle, but definitely... So their connection to them was... Yeah. How long did they live back then? They would live till like their 40s. I think Plato lived till he was 80, but Aristotle lived till he was in his 40s. I mean, does you think Aristotle felt bad that he had no pupils that we even remember?

They were rolling. Well, he had Alexander the Great. He had Alexander the Great, briefly. Alex? Yeah, but the fact that the chain ended right there, and there was no famous philosopher after him. But he also inspired, I mean, thousands of years of philosophers all around.

Talked about Aristotle. Plato's sitting there and he goes, so who are you going to use as your pupil? He's like, he's a good guy. I don't, you know, I see a lot of stuff in him. He goes, yeah, but just tell me a little bit about him. And he goes, I don't know, man. He's just, he's not...

the theme that you might want, but I think it's like good for us to go outside the box. And he goes, yeah, dude, no judgment at all. Like what's his name? Alexander the Great. And you go, oh, you call him that? He goes, no, no, no. He made that name up himself. He came up with him as Alexander the Great. And he's like, and then he plays like, what's that noise? It's like, it's him. He's stomping up the stairs right now. He's about to barrel in here. And he's going to call you weak and probably some other words. Yeah. And then play it over. The maestro.

St. Thomas Aquinas, Aaron sent me these notes. Widely considered the most important Christian thinker of all time. I would say Jesus, but Aaron feels like this guy is. Okay. No, above Jesus. Wow. Okay, Aaron. That's what you think. He developed the five proofs of the existence of God. What are those? Well, I can't remember them off the top of my head. The first mover, that's the first one. These are like logical proofs or arguments. Okay.

The first mover would be for anything to be set in motion, it has to be set in motion by something else, right? And then that thing must have been set in motion by someone else. And then you trace that all the way back to infinity. Right. Eventually, there has to be something that moves something without being moved by somebody else. The first mover. And then that's God. I've always felt like the kid argument holds up of the people who argue the Big Bang. Well, then who created that? Right. Yeah.

Right, that's ultimately what it is. Yeah. Yeah, well, who did the first thing? Right. Something that didn't need to be moved by something else. Yeah. There is... I know... I just listened to... It was Louis C.K.'s... They were playing it on the radio, Sirius. It was a news special. He had a whole thing about God. And just one thing that was...

really funny it was uh he said he's a god could really with a five-minute press conference he could clear up just so many things god just came down just five minutes dude just pop up and just say hey will everybody know how you doing i'm here like he goes and then it's uh and then be good yeah very funny that's a great bit renee descartes descartes descartes renee descartes got some extra letters that he didn't need no he's french i was like i thought it was a woman

Father of modern... I feel like everybody's the father of... He's the father of modern philosophy. He has the most famous quote in the history of mankind. I think. I think it is.

You think, oh, that's not a true statement? That's Aaron? That's my editorialization of it, for sure. That's so funny. So you put on there the most famous quote of all time? Yeah. What is it, Nate? That's just your idea of what you think is the most famous quote. I'd like to hear what you think is a more famous quote than cogito ergo sum, I think therefore I am. I think therefore I am. I mean, you've heard that before, right? Right now. It's like, I can't think of a more, I would say maybe...

One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. I can't think of another quote. You had me at hello, Jerry Maguire. That is a great... Cowabunga. May the force be with you. I mean, yeah, that's up there, I guess, but... I think, therefore, I am. I think, therefore, I am. Which means what? What?

So Rene Descartes, he wrote these series. Oh, I know who that is. What did you say his name was? Rene Descartes? Yeah. I think I've heard that. Rene Descartes. Oh, that's the same person. He wrote these things. How you doing, ma'am? I'm a guy. Sorry about that. Rene. Go ahead, Rene.

They're called meditations. And he just set out to, what do I know for sure? What do I know is real? It's like those infomercials where you're like, forget everything you know about mattresses or whatever. He was like, forget everything I know about everything. Let's start all the way over. So let's just remove everything I think is real. And then what can I build back piece by piece? So eventually he got all the way down to how do I know that I am a real thing?

And he's trying to anticipate every rebuttal to this. He's like, what if it's a demon deceiving me? But eventually he concludes, like, the fact that I'm here asking this question means that I definitely exist, because there's a doubter, there's a questioner, and it's I think, therefore I am. That's where it comes from. Does he...

This should be good. I mean, where do you get these quotes at? Like, how do they get, does he just sit at a table at, you know, dinner? And then he's just like eating. This guy lived alone, believe it or not. Yeah. His mailman comes over and he goes, hey, Fred, how you doing? He goes, yeah, how are you doing? He goes, well, I think therefore I am. So, and he kind of, and then just looks at him. Just looks at the phone and sees his reaction. And then he's just already back in the truck. And he's like.

All right, all right, I'll try again. Like, he's just trying to, I mean, does anybody walk, you know, I'll take a piece of gum. I think, how's the weather today? I think therefore I am. And then always just stares at him to see if it's catching on. Yeah, to see if it hits. Oh, it stands up. Like, he's just slowly just kind of throwing it out. So I guess it was wrote in his, he wrote it. He wrote it, but literally it was a thought exercise. Let me go into this dark room and just like,

Are these guys making money? What do I know for sure? A lot of them didn't make a lot of money, but I think back then a lot of these guys were subsidized by whatever kingdom they lived in or whatever. Yeah, they had food and stuff. Yeah, I think there were teachers too, so they could make some money doing that. Would they go out? Would they hang out? Descartes doesn't sound like a fun dude to hang out with because he's just doubting everything. How do we know that that's real? But I don't know. I don't know how much... He didn't feel like normal guys.

I feel like they were more like the professor I had riding his bike in a figure eight, smoking a cigarette, talking to himself. They're just so burdened by... They're so smart that it's debilitating, I think. They could almost be a homeless person in the street now. They could talk themselves into getting into that. And that's the hard part with crazy people in the street is you know some of them are doing some good stuff, but you got to have them...

You got to get through. You got to mine through it to find. Some of them are going to stab you in the heart with a pencil. And some are really good at what they talk about. It's like a comedy open mic. There's going to be a couple of geniuses in there. A bunch of crazies. And some people... I would say 100 years ago.

Open mic. Yeah, you're right. Every open mic we go to, you're like, there's a couple of geniuses. But don't you get an open mic where you're like, they're a crazy person. Like, this is like so close to being genius. Yeah. It's like right there if they just tweaked something. Yeah. You know?

Baruch Spinoza? Yeah, Spinoza. Oh, I thought you had a little beef with him. It's not like he was a comic. Spinoza! What happened with Spinoza? Spinoza was crazy, man. He believed in something called substance monism, which means... This is a clean show, Aaron. Which means there's only one... If you had to guess how many different things there are in the universe...

What would you guess? It would be endless, right? Yeah. He thinks all of... There's only one thing. God is the only one substance, and we're all just modes or attributes of God, like wrinkles in a carpet. You wouldn't call a wrinkle in a carpet its own thing. It's just a wrinkle in the large carpet. So you think there's only one thing. A lot of podcasts.

I mean, just a lot of podcasts. Too many. Talking wrinkle over wrinkle.

Welcome to the Wrinkle Podcast. Yeah. It's just God and the rest of us are just... We're just... Not side effects. Yeah. God, the language is so tricky with some of this stuff. I can't remember if it's modes or attributes, but we're all just... If you think... I like the Wrinkle description better than the other words. But if you think God, by definition, is something that's all over and everywhere...

then how can there be something that's not part of him? You know? If he's everywhere and in everything...

Then is he in this cup? Do you think philosophers talk to the most people that are trailing off than any human possible? Like, is there... Whole existence, do you think that they... That's why they talk to each other? Because everybody else just kind of trails off? That's a good point. Because a lot of this is just like, we just know this from letters to each other where they're arguing about it. They're not like... These aren't famous, like, let's go out and...

the town square and everybody's like, man, these guys are super interesting because they're not really a lot of them. Yeah. That's there. So what, what is like, and what is like philosophy? What is it like solve? Like, what does it bring to the,

world, just like us thinking about stuff. Like it's just, no, it's everything. I mean, we're benefiting from all of this stuff having been argued and discussed because we have thousands of years of people figure, but like laws and concepts and definitions and what are things and how that this is, they're all figuring this out before anybody was able to, that's all it is. So understanding like the building blocks of, of,

of civilization really yeah you know i think i could be a philosopher i think you're good actually man i think you feel like you need yeah you gotta have just kind of uh so last week you were a lawyer and this week i can do a lot of things yeah yeah uh but it's like you're just oh like overthinking yeah your brain's got to go 24 7 doesn't ever cut off yeah that's what he said like comedy a lot of comedians and philosophers

You know? I don't know. So your philosophy on comedy is, you've said this, whenever you get comfortable, it's time to move. That's my philosophy as well. That's why I've always lived here. But you got that from someone else, but that's a good philosophy on life. And you hold to that, right? Yeah. Anytime you start feeling comfortable, it's time to make a change. But would that be considered a philosophy? Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's a rule to live by.

All right. I want to ask you about a couple of these famous quotes. God is dead, Frederick Nietzsche. Yeah. I looked this up. He didn't literally mean God has died. Right. He meant humankind, civilization. We've kind of killed the concept of God. Is that right? Yeah. Because he said that God was just an explanation for things that we couldn't understand as a society. We just said, oh, that's God. And he said, now we know enough that we no longer need that. So God is dead. And that's, yeah. When was that?

I don't remember what Nietzsche was. 1600s? No, it's Nietzsche. Was he a painter? Oh, was it Nietzsche? No. Nietzsche. Was he a painter? No, it was a Nietzsche painting. Yeah, that's N-I-C-H-E. Who's that? I don't know. Bob Nietzsche? This is late 1800s. Okay. So in 1900, God said, Nietzsche's dead. What did you say it was? Late 1800s. Oh. Oh.

He also said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? I thought that was Kanye. Nietzsche said that? Yep. You really thought it was Kanye? Oh, he's in that song. Yeah. He said that in that song. You know what song I'm talking about? I thought that was Katy Perry. What doesn't kill you makes you... Oh, man. Maybe it is Katy Perry. I thought Kanye had a song that was like, working better, stronger, weaker. You know what I'm talking about? Mm-mm.

And then he made that up. What doesn't make you stronger, which means anything in life you go through with struggles just makes you a stronger person. Yeah. Wasn't invented until 2008 from Kanye West. You think he knew he was quoting Nietzsche when he wrote that song? Yeah. I think he's... Kanye could be a philosopher, right? He's kind of this out thought, kind of thinks kind of crazy things. Yeah.

you know, out on his own, like there's his own thing. Ask him what this table is, dude. Yeah. See what he's got. And then it would be like, this table is nothing. But do they ever just go, it's a table? Yeah. It is a table. These philosophers have, do they call Talkspace.com and go talk to a therapist and they go, I know, I know, Frank, but

It's a table, and we're sitting here with it. Right. And you need to wrap your head around that. And he goes, but what's our head? But if you saw a bunch of different furniture, you could group all the tables together, right? Even though they all look differently. Yeah. So it's like, what is tableness then? It's a bunch of them all together. I know, but what are the similarities between all the tables? How do you know they're all the same kind of thing? I think because of their purpose.

It's interesting. It's not the... That's a good point, dude. Yeah. I'd have blown his world up. I'd have blown his... I would have loved to see you go toe-to-toe with Aristotle. I get down to his purpose, you idiot. Now go to bed. Blow your candle out. And then there he goes...

And they're just barely lighting him up on his side. It's not like it came off a big light. Eric, Ari, I've been trying to get some sleep. Ari. Ari, Stottle, Stu. Stottle. The big Stoster. Stody. Hit the sack. What was I going to say? I thought about it. I remember I was trying to do this as a joke.

Maybe it ever becomes a joke. But we had Easter yesterday, so the Easter bunny came. I remember one time trying to find something, hide something, and someone, I think my parents said, look behind a chair. And I

And I remember being 12 years old and I thought about chair so much that I forgot what a chair was. And so I couldn't, I was like looking behind like the lamp table and almost everything but a chair. Cause I like almost thought about that word too much. And then I couldn't, then I kind of forgot what it was. I was like, what is it? Like, I don't even know what this thing is. And you can't just ask what a chair is.

That's a great question. You told me a philosophy one time. I think it's a philosophy. You can tell me when you were doing the, having claustrophobia. Yeah. And we're getting on a plane and then you said you could start thinking about tight spaces and then your mind kept letting you to the whole world is a tight space. Oh, I get claustrophobic in the world, in the universe. I can make myself get to that point. Isn't that kind of philosophy or is that just crazy? That just sounds like a problem. I mean, yeah.

I guess, I don't know. Yeah, but you're the... All right. I can... With claustrophobia, you could say, if I'm on this plane, right? Yeah. And it's no control. I can't leave this thing right now. I want to leave right now. I can't. Yeah. I can't leave that. And so when I do get off the plane, what if I'm like...

I don't want to be around. I don't be in this room. I don't be in this neighborhood. I don't want to be, it can technically keep going. There's, I, I can only go so far. So it's the fact that like, there's a limit to it. So I, there's, I can't get to space. I mean, you know, it's like, so it's like the earth could feel like, I don't want to be here, which I'm borderline probably why you should call. I mean, this is the ad for talkspace.com slash Nate. I mean, but it's like, you can,

Now, I tell myself, if I do start feeling too much of that, I can say, well, I can go run to California. And it's like that almost calms it down because you're like, that's so far. But I could run to California. But then you're essentially trapped on America. I can't get to another. There's the ocean. You can't. And then you're on a boat. Now I'm really trapped in this boat. You could technically have yourself. All you are is kind of trapped everywhere you go. Just whatever you're in is trapped.

It's a tough way to look at the world, man. Well, as a philosopher... I just go from cage to cage, living life. But it's... Yeah. Yeah, you don't understand what me and Aristotle...

You're just not deep enough, Aaron. Yeah, you're not deep enough. That would be essentially the table talk. Maybe I'm the next modern, modern, modern philosopher. Father of modern, modern philosophy. Because apparently you can just keep doing that forever. Because that's what we're learning today. Everybody's the father. Everybody goes, so this guy, what did he do? And then you just make up a... He was the father of epistemology. I need one...

One quote? Yeah. I just need one quote. Come up with it right now. A quote? Mm-hmm. End all be... Doing Latin? Yeah. Well, your jokes are quotes. Bumbalo. You've had some wise... You have had some wise ones. I think, I mean, to get off topic here, but your joke about peanut allergies...

There's so many comedians that have had jokes making fun of kids with peanut allergies. It's an easy target, but you wisely took it the other direction. And I think that's a good way to look at it in comedy. Yeah. Because essentially, you're attacking kids for something that's not their fault. Exactly. So. Yeah. To just have an angle that nobody else is taking. Yeah. And a more positive one. And then the broader, I've heard you talk about just using words that nobody else is using.

Or saying things in a way. No words. But saying things in a way that other people... I don't think if you don't talk like regular people, then that's a problem. Especially with what we do. I notice when comics use big words on stage. I just go, I find it a hard time to believe that in your normal conversation. If I'm trying to just talk to you and be your... When I'm on stage, my job is to... You're supposed to be very relatable. My job is to be like, it's just us hanging out in a room. Or you're watching a special. It's like, that's what people like about this podcast. It feels like they're...

part of it. They feel like they're in the room with us. Because we're using words. Words are all that matter. That's all that us saying this stuff. Words are all that matter. There it is, dude. Write it down. My pen's out of ink. Got it. Words are all that matter. Did you guys get this? Words are all that matter. But I've heard you say that because you're clean, that forces you to use words that...

A dirty comedian or the guy that curses, they're actually using fewer words than you would use because you're having to use different words. Now I say, I started saying so and like, so is kind of like, I don't think bad, but I'll say like, and like is something that you, cause it's a rhythm of how you talk and how you say it. And you know, it's when you, when you tell them these stories on stage, it's,

There's a song kind of to it. You're kind of going through it. It's pretty fun. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Who said that? Mark Twain? I think my uncle.

Frank Frank Bargetzi Frank Bargetzi yes I keep on Frank Bargetzi say that all the time you tell me who wrote that down there Lao Tzu who's attributed to but it was really Frank Bargetzi yeah Lao Tzu I think I don't know that's probably not even close how you say it I've never heard of that guy oh how do you spell it go ahead that's hilarious

But does that... It's a lousy way to say lousy. That's a lousy pronunciation. That's the lousiest way I've ever heard anyone say his name. I think that just means if you want to lose 100 pounds, you got to start with one pound, right? Just got to get going. But if you want to start with one pound, you first have to lose half a pound. Here we go. And then if you want to lose... Half a pound. Therefore, it is impossible to lose weight as we've seen. Sugar's back in and we're not doing it.

It ain't how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. Yogi Berra. Mark Tyson. Rocky Balboa. You guys both jumped on that, though. I thought I was going to make y'all think it was Aristotle. I think the ain't kind of gave it away. It wasn't an ancient Greek. If the kitchen ain't working out, I don't know what some old saying is. If there's fire ain't in the kitchen, don't come cooking. Who knows what he's saying? The fact that I didn't even notice that probably shows...

Ain't. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined. Ain't ain't a word and I ain't gonna use it. What is our ain't thing we always say? On the air? I heard that growing up. Ain't ain't a word and I ain't gonna use it. Oh, I said something one time that ain't gonna do it. Or something like that. It wasn't as good the second time. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Michael Scott playing Gretzky. Yeah.

That is Wayne Gretzky? It's Wayne Gretzky. That's a good one. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. It's great, but it's also not true. Why? Because you don't miss them because you didn't take the shot. So it's not great then. But then you didn't do anything in life. So what if he's going, well, I'm literally talking about hockey. Probably was. You guys made this into a bigger thing. You made it into this big thing to go like, you know, I'm not talking about McDonald's. Like if you don't take all your shots.

And he's like, I was talking about shooting. Someone asked me, what about shooting a shot? And he goes, if you don't mean 100% of the shots, you miss them. I don't know. He was on a roll for a while. That's next after words are all that matter. Words are all that matter. That's how we communicate with each other. That is true. That's a great point.

The harder you work, the more luck you have. The harder you work, the more luck you have, yeah. That's an opportunity thing, too. You're ready for this opportunity. So you make yourself good enough to be ready for when the opportunity comes, you go, yeah, I'm ready for this. I always remember one, Mike Vecchione would always say that always stuck with me, like comedy ones, was you got to get the nose out of the way.

And Becky Owen told me that, and I've always, I've basically lived by that. You get told no. I've been told no. I mean, we talked about, I think, this before. But I mean, how many no's I get told is so many. You only hear about the yeses. And that goes all the way back to barking when you're just trying to get inside. Yeah. Yeah. I would say, yeah, you have goals. I don't have a catchy, you know. Words matter. Yeah, words matter. Yeah.

You know. I can't put that. All words matter. Everybody's like, oh, God. It's like we end up just going down a dark road. We're just having fun on there. All words.

You just can't. They're going to do that and show the, what do we make fun of in the Middle Ages? I don't know. Rolling the farter? No. Oh. Let's see. You know what the happiest animal in the world is? It's a goldfish. It's got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish. Oh, we don't.

Was that Ted Lasso? That was Ted Lasso. Was it really? Yeah. You're about to rip it. You're like, oh, that's so stupid. That's great. Oh, man. And I would have been wrong because that's a great, that's the philosopher of this podcast is Ted Lasso. The father of podcast philosophy. Yeah, exactly. I'll do one more.

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. Michael Scott. That's great. That's a great quote. All right. You want to wrap it up with a couple of philosophical questions? Here's one. If freedom is simply being able to do what you want, are animals freer than humans? Hold on. I'm going to get my stuff. What is it now? Say it again. If freedom is simply being able to do what you want,

Are animals freer than humans? Assuming you believe in free will, which a lot of people don't. Yeah. So animals would be freer. And then the wild, right? Because they don't have any laws to live by. But they have to watch out for getting eaten by another animal. So I would say not every animal, right? Is that not it? That's a great answer, I think. Free to die, I guess. Better than the answer I have.

What was your answer? I didn't have one. He didn't. He just rambled on like most philosophers do until someone goes, oh, that's good. But what is an animal, dude? Let's dig down. That's just an answer that goes, I know we've got to go. We've got to get out of here. We have a reservation at 7 o'clock. What's a reservation? I heard a clip from an old podcast where you were like, listen, this is interesting, but, I mean, people are listening. Yeah.

On here? Yeah, on this one episode a while ago. Like two weeks ago, right? Yeah, I think so. Old West or something. Yeah.

That's my quote. This is interesting, but people are listening. It might have been the Middle Ages. I don't remember. Are animals more freer than us? That's the question. Because they can do whatever they want. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Because, I mean, the hyenas just run around in Africa. They can do whatever they want. He doesn't have to wear a mask. Doesn't have to wear a mask. Doesn't have to get a job. And they just have to hunt their food. But they have to go get their food. But, yeah, they don't have the problems. They don't start a podcast. But, yeah.

Do they actually have freedom, though? They don't have rational minds. They're just reacting to stimuli. They're like machines, dude. Yeah, does a machine have freedom? No. Wow, I said that so confidently. A machine has to be turned on by a human. An animal doesn't have to rely on someone else to get going. They have to catch food, but they're...

They can go. They're not having to be... As a human, you could be... If you learned how to live off the grid, those people are probably freer than animals. Sure. We might not be freer than animals. Those people are. They're all good points. Yeah. At least bring something to this table. This guy's a philosopher. All right, we'll do one more. Yeah, this table.

Would the world be a better place or a worse place if everyone looked the same? Well, you would think worse because it's like this. You tell it doesn't, you know, it's the everybody's unique. And that's what's so great. If we were not a unique, I don't think it would be. No, I think I think it would take love out of this, out of the out of the whatever. So you don't know the words, but what's the not the equation? Yeah, equation. I was gonna say. So you love Lord just because of the looks?

Yeah, that's a big part of it. But I think if it was the same, what would you love? You have to love the actual person. This is just looking the same. We're not all like... He just said look the same. Yeah, but love, not like...

I guess not dating, but I mean, like, we would just be, like, murder would probably not matter. Like, if you're, everything would be disincentives. Like, I don't know, if you don't see different, if you see everybody's the same, if the same thing gets taken away from you and there's a thousand of the same thing, and you look, oh, there's a thousand more of the exact same thing, you would not miss anything.

because you'd be like, you're not seeing different people. Like it feels, it's just a sea of the same people. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think so. I wouldn't personalize it as much. Yeah. It's, it does. They're all, if everybody looked, if it was a thousand use,

What does it matter if you exist if I have a thousand of you there? But I'm not just unique because of the way I look. I think differently. I have a unique identity. Well, you better get that personality out. You better be wearing a fun rainbow pin or something before you get mowed down. But is the argument that if everybody looked the same, then you'd differentiate people based on what they believe and how they think and the content of the character? I think you'd have...

An army of... It would just be... It would be a nightmare. It would be... You would not... I mean...

Well, what do we all look like? That's a better question. They all look like me? But how many personalities, you know, when you see... It's worse then. How many people's personalities do you actually really get to see? Nobody's people's personality. Outside of your, like, people that you know immediately. Yeah. I would think we would be under so much control for some reason. Some reason I feel that's an army, that's like we're just... You think if the three of us came in looking the exact same one day, they'd be able to tell who we were?

I think when they would laugh, they would know it's me. And then when they would obviously... Would my face still look worried? Would I look exactly the same except a worried face? When they could feel that, they go, but that guy feels like he's worried. I'm not going to guess something right, so I bet that's Brian. And then you're sitting up there with your hat on and a jacket. And then everybody's like, well, that's obviously Aaron. He's got his NASCAR jacket on. That's...

I mean, penguins all look the same, right? Yeah. Don't they mate for life? Yeah, but they're not doing great, man. Yeah. It doesn't look that fun being a penguin. I feel like throughout history, a lot of the problems we've had is because people look different. I agree. Yeah. Our religion, probably a big part. Yeah. Yeah.

All words matter, dude. I think believing in different gods, I think, caused a bit of a tiff out in the tilt. But yeah, I'm sure it's because we all look different. That's what... I mean, core beliefs are the reason countries and worlds are fighting. And yeah, but that group's taller than the other group. And we'll write that down for...

We're done so he can still laugh. Yeah. He'll be, this will start the next podcast. So I guess. Did we do a lot, enough time? We did a lot. I feel like we covered thousands of years of intellectual thought. Oh yeah. I mean, I keep going. What are, what are we at? About an hour 40? Yeah. Hour 37? Yeah.

Is that, I don't know. I mean, now that I stopped it like this, is there one, is there another good one to get off on? Um, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Uh, so no. The answer is no, we're done. Whether you think you can, what? Or you think you can't either way, you're going to be right. It's basically saying you got to have confidence. Hmm.

I thought it would be like a loser says, well, why don't you do it? Well, I either can do it or I can't do it, but either way, I want to be right. All right, well, then sit here, dude. Then sit here. That's what... Who's quoted that? Was that a teenager living with his mom? Who was that? A 40-year-old in the basement of his mom's house? Do you have that attributed to anybody? Yeah, Henry Ford. What did he ever do?

Here's one from Confucius. That sounds like a quote from a guy that would be like, what'd you do? I built trucks. You're like, okay, that makes sense. Yeah, that quote does make sense. You want one from Confucius? Yeah. Our greatest glory is not never falling, but in rising every time we fall. That's kind of like the Rocky Balboa. Yeah. See, but I always think with the, I guess it is like the philosophy of it. To me, it's like always like these words to like,

I think like, I, I like, it's like, what does that matter? Like, you still got to go do stuff. You still got to like, actually, as a person go, you could go change someone's life. I think people get very behind their words and they think I did this good. I, if you're, uh, Aristotle, I get if you're these people.

guys that are the smartest people alive have ever lived. But then I think we've got a problem now where I think everybody thinks all it is about is coming up with the best way to say something. And then they go, there you go. And so it's a bunch of that. Even if it's not profound at all? Just the catchiest way to say it? It's just the catchiest way to say it. And someone goes, wow, that's a great point. And then they go, this is back to my golf thing. And then they go, well, that is a great point. That's a great point. None of them live by these...

Let's give it a wrap. That's my microwave. Aaron lands. Okay.

I gotta get taking calls now, if I'm not mistaken. Caleb on line one. But everybody just says all this stuff to each other, and no one actually does anything. So if you just keep going like, wow, that's clever, that's clever, that's good. But you're not actually physically changing someone. Then nothing changes. And so who cares? If it's that guy saying it, and we're doing it to that point. But I mean, you look at Twitter. All Twitter is is just people trying to say clever things. And it's essentially all of these kind of

Everybody's a philosopher on Twitter. But they don't actually do anything because they think, well, I did do something. I wrote a sentence together that's pretty fun. But words are all that matter. But it is true. Words are all that matter. So that goes against even my thing. And that's what's the hard part about words all that matter is you can really get through it pretty quickly. But it's...

If you're going to use words are all that matter as your slogan, when someone says that, it doesn't make sense, you go, but does it? You always just question, do the table nonsense that Aaron was doing. You get real philosophy on them and just go, oh, ask me, words are all that matter. Try to demuk it. I'll give you an example. Words are all that matter? Words are all that matter.

Okay, so you're presenting that as words are all that matter? Words are all that matter. I walk into a party, dinner party, words are all that matter. How do you know that? Because I know that. How do you not know that? Yeah, you idiot. Nothing else matters? Nothing else. Words are all that matter. Oh, yeah? Yeah. So you don't do anything other than words? The words are the things that I'm doing. You just worded the sentence differently.

I mean, that's all these guys have been doing all day. What is a table? You're just saying, well, I don't know. What is a table? Like, if you don't think about it. I think he stopped you. It's bulletproof. You can't get through it. Words are all that matter. Okay. I agree. Thank you. Thank you. Now, me and my wife would like you to leave. All right.

Sorry I have COVID, everybody. Last joke. I got one more that Aaron submitted. Oh, wow. This is from Emmanuel. First time caller, long time listener. Emmanuel Kant. Yeah. If everyone in the world did exactly what you did, what kind of world would that be? Would it be a desirable world to live in? Yeah, this is like the categorical imperative. How do you decide if something's right or wrong?

Like, you have to imagine if everybody in the world did that thing. That's how you know if something's right or wrong. Oh, okay. Yeah. See, why didn't she just say it like that? Yeah, what's her problem? Yeah. Why didn't... Is that... How's that guy? Did you say manual? Yeah. Oh, I don't...

A lot of lady names. Why did Eleanor Roosevelt say that? I mean, I'm sorry. Renee, Emanuel, Janet. I thought she's... I'm sorry. I misread the situation.

Is there a Janet philosopher? Not that I know of. There should be. What's the answer, by the way? What do you mean? Well, it depends on what you do. If I punch you in the face, do I want everybody in the world just going around punching everybody in the face? Oh, everybody or Brian? Oh, everybody punching Brian? That's different. Now we get on board or something. Yeah.

yeah. You don't want everybody punching in your face. Yeah, I know. That's like, but okay. All right. Uh, all right. That's it. Philosophy. We did it. We did it. Y'all go see the title of this one. And they're like, yeah, but here we go. Here we go. Uh, next week is the Nate land live podcast. So we will put out, we will have a regular podcast and then we will record the live one. Uh,

But next week, we do it. We'll talk about it next week. All right. Thank you, everybody. What are y'all doing? Me and Brian are at Stardome this weekend. Yeah. And you're doing... I'm at the Grand Ole Opry this weekend on the 10th. Yeah. April 10th. Yeah. And then... And then my club dates are gone. Miami Improv could use some help down there. It's a fun... It's a tough market to get into.

All right. See you next week. Bye. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.