#39 Con Artists ft. Gary Vider
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Hello, folks. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Sitting here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. I had trouble saying folks this weekend on stage. Oh, you said it? Well, no, I didn't say it like saying, hey, folks, on stage. But I was doing a trying to tell an old story about Poe Folks. Remember that restaurant? No. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you remember it. And then, yeah, it was like a Captain D's type, all right? You had a waiter, though. The Bates family loved it. Yeah. Yeah, it was kind of like the fast food kind of place, but a restaurant. Yeah, a little bit. A server. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

In between. Yeah. Like a steak and shake? That kind of vibe? Yeah, a little bit. But it was like very, I feel like very Southern. Yeah, yeah. You know, like after church, packed, you know, that kind of thing. It's not poor folks. It's po-folks. Po-folks. And so I was saying that on stage. I actually just changed it. And started saying it. Because I was talking about O'Charlie's before, and I just made it O'Charlie's after. Just to avoid saying the word? Yeah, because for some reason it was like po-folks.

Like, it's just, I don't know. I just had trouble with it on stage. Did you mention the Silver War? Yeah, I did that joke. Silver War. Every time I say it, I think about it. I just want to be done. I'm almost done telling that joke. And so I still have it, but I say Silver War. Yeah. And so it sounds like we did pretty good this weekend. Huntsville. I was able to do like 40, 45 minutes new. That's awesome. I'm not saying it's all great.

I would say half of it feels pretty good. So anybody come to these club shows,

It's doing, you know, I can get to 40, 45, you know, round there of new. And then, uh, I only, you know, did probably 15, 20 from the special. Yeah. So that's not bad. A lot of people waited this weekend. Uh, everybody that came out to Huntsville stand up live. Thank you. They were, they were awesome, man. And, uh, yeah, I mean, I would ask is like who watched the special and Sunday night, a lot of people watched it. And then, uh,

But the other shows, Friday and Saturday, was, you know, you could tell, like, it wasn't a lot of people were waiting because they were so close, I guess, to, you know, we're in Appleton, Wisconsin coming up. So, but it was good. Yeah. Yeah, special's been good. Everybody's been very nice. A lot of people, you know, a lot of people reached out. A lot of people have been very, you know, cool about it. Their views have been very nice. You know, it's all crazy. It's great. It's all nerve-wracking.

You just wait for like, you know, because it's like you read something bad about it. It's like that's the hard part as a comedian. You read if someone says anything bad, like it's just, and it's like just nobody. Not saying it's nobody, but it's just a comment. It's like a random kind of thing. Yeah. And it just gets in your head. You're just, I think about that person. As a fan of The Office, to get a comment from BJ Novak, that would be awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was very cool. Yeah, I've never met him. But yeah, that was cool. Yeah, there was a lot of, yeah, I mean, it's definitely interesting

The response over the Tennessee kid, the Tennessee kid obviously was, the response was very good. Response is always good, but you can just tell, you know, I don't know. It's kind of interesting. It's just different. It's, you know, it's a lot more, you know, it's a good thing. It's been, it's wild.

It's crazy. It's wild. All right, everybody. As always, thanks for commenting. You know, all this YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Apple Podcast Reviews, Nate Landon, natebargetzi.com. Also, we're doing a live show. We've mentioned, I think both shows are sold out at Zany's. But we are going to read...

you know, it's going to be a comment heavy show, that live show, I think. And I'm hoping to take, if you have comments and you want to ask them live at that show, we will be able to do that. We'll have someone with a microphone walking around. Uh, and that's the goal of it. I think that would be the best for a live show is to do something like that. Yeah. And we're going to film it. So you better see it. And then, uh,

If you want to email those specifically for that live show, if you're not going to be there or even if you are going to be there, maybe you don't want to ask the question on the microphone. Email Nate Landon, Nate Bargetti dot com and just put in the subject live podcast so we know to pull it out. Josh Oler Oler.

Oler. Dusty Slay is my favorite guest yet. You guys have a great rapport with Dusty, and it seems like he's been on the show since you were talking about fast food and just desperately trying to explain Wall Street. This is my favorite episode yet by far.

yeah, Dusty, uh, yeah, Dusty was a great guest. And then Dusty's had a, have a bit of a run. He's had a bit of some problems since then. Yeah. He's like publicly said it. Right. We're not, but he's been battling a non COVID related health issue for a while now. And then he had to have emergency surgery recently. So he's recovering from that. Yeah. So keep Dusty in your prayers, thoughts, whatever you do. Uh,

But yeah, yeah. I think he's doing good. Yeah. We don't want to alarm anybody. Well, that was the last time Dusty would ever be on. Dusty is dead, everybody. No, he's doing good recovering from that. And so, yeah, everybody think about him.

David WR99, I watched because I saw Nate on Rogan's podcast. You guys owe me two hours of life. What was that? I kept expecting something interesting to come up, but it never did. What was your response to that guy? I said, welcome to the show. Welcome to the show, David. This is what it is, dude. How did he, you know, what did he want? I just love the idea that I go, I'll check out that guy's podcast. I just wait.

what is this? What is this? What was that? I thought, what turn? I don't see how you could go two hours into this and you keep thinking like something's got to, like they, you know, like do you think it's a plot twist? You're an hour, 40 minutes in, like, all right, still time to turn it around. He can still do it. Like we think the real host come tap us on the shoulder and we let them do an actual podcast.

Yeah, dude, we are a time waster here. That's what this is. That's what it's about. Derek Viser, Viser, Viser or Viser. Great to hear Nate on Rogan. I literally stayed up all night listening to it and watching the special. The next day I took a nap and slept through pickup time for my son's school. I woke up to my wife calling me from work to say, where are you? The school has called me three times. I guess they knew to call the wife.

I think they all know. Most schools besides the one that it called me, which that joke I have about the bus joke, the school, the lady from the school did call me. But one thing that I don't say in it is I did say, I go, I'm her dad is exactly how I responded. And the lady goes, I know your wife didn't answer. So there's, there's the truth to it. She did try my wife and my wife wasn't answering. So it was a backup call.

Samuel House. My wife and I just watched a special on Both in Tears at the part about being in charge of the family now. My dad had his pants fall down in the Best Buy parking lot, slipped on posters on the floor at an Office Depot, and somehow had his underwear fall down inside his shorts while at a local electronics store. Yeah.

I feel like I'm not only in charge of the family, but also his wardrobe. That's so great. Man, if I had all that stuff, I would be talking about it all. I was with you when your dad left the car door open. Yeah. We just came out a few hours later and just wide open. Bowhalla, when we golfed. Yeah. And I should have said that. I don't know why I didn't say that in the special. Because it was. It was five hours. We were gone for five hours.

And then we go back and I'm like, Dad, what are you – because he just met us there and we were riding back with him. Yeah. And I'm like, what are you doing? I go, Dad, your door's open. And his driver's side door for five – wasn't it five hours? Yeah. Just open in the parking lot. Surprised it didn't even start it. I mean, the battery wasn't run down. I mean, just – like I think he opened it. I think he went to the back of the car and just forgot about it. I'm going to start talking to my –

my parents and their, and the Dentons are long, my parents' best friends. Uh, I'm, we're going to, we're all going to get together. Cause I was like, I need to go through some old, I need some new, I want some family stories. We have like, our family has some, obviously the Bergettsies I've talked about a lot, but, uh, I need to get some new stories. You know, I'm related to the Dentons. You are. Yes. That's even crazy. So the Dentons, the,

Wayne and Linda Denton, who are our family's best friend. I mean, they've been our best friends. It's like my, you know, since I was a kid. I was, I don't know, my whole life. And so we randomly find out he's related to the Dentons. How? How are you? His grandfather and my great-grandmother were brother and sisters, I think. Oh, wow.

How crazy is that? Yeah. That's the South for you. That's the South. The South is just that. If you're from here, too, I feel like it's even worse. It's something another way. Rita H., Richard Klein is the actor who played Larry on Three's Company. I'm not sure this fact will make Brian feel all that much better about saying Richard Klein instead of Robert Klein.

She's totally right. We've been binging Three's Company lately. Really? We love Larry. Yeah. Three's Company. And so I think I did get in my head. Yeah.

Y'all been going through Seinfeld and Three's Company? Yeah, we don't like anything that came out before 1999. Yeah. Or after 1999, I mean to say. Yeah. That's just on y'all. People just drive by and see that on TV, and they're like, oh, God. And then you're going to watch any up-to-date? Watch the local news. Y'all go to Channel 5. I've been watching Entourage.

I re-watched Entourage. Great show. Great show. Could not air today. Yeah. It's unreal. Yeah. Just the jokes, obviously the jokes that, I mean, it's wild, dude. Yeah. And it's 2006. It's not like, you know what I mean? If you watch Eddie Murphy, Delirious or something-

You're like, yeah, well, that was 1985. This is 2006. And then you're like, dude, it's turned quick. And that show, there's no way. I mean, I would love it. I love Entourage. And I've watched it. I'm re-watching it. It's just so good. I watch it every night. And there's so many episodes. And I'm going to go through and watch the movie again. Yeah.

And they do a podcast, like the Victory Podcast. And I haven't listened to it, but I've followed online. I see the clips of it. This is how everybody listens to this podcast. Same way. That's how most, a lot of people come in. They're like, oh, the podcast is great. Never heard a full episode in their life. So all you folks that are listening to these whole episodes, we love you the most. Always remember that. And the other guys, we love them too.

But you listen to the Victory podcast about that, and I think they were talking about could there be another one. It's like you would just have to. It'd be much different. It'd be much different. It'd be tough. I mean, them talking about girls, I mean, it's wild, dude. Queso scoreboard. Queso? Queso. Queso. Queso.

I bet it's Queso because it's a name. Queso scoreboard. You think that's their name? It's spelled Queso. Scoreboard is Hispanic. You think scoreboard is the last name? Queso scoreboard. Yeah, why are you questioning that, Aaron? That's clearly a real name. My bad. I have a friend who played for the Washington Generals. They would play hard for 95% of the game, then give up at the end so the Globetrotters win. So I wonder that game they won, they must have just got too far ahead.

Is that what we said? Yeah, and then they lost track of time. They lost track of time. Yeah, yeah. And then it was like too much. That's pretty good though. 95% basically being like, yeah, we go hard until, you know, as hard as they can go. I mean, they got to let them do like. Yeah, they don't go hard all the time because there's people pulling their pants down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I mean, it's like Samuel's dad. Yeah, Samuel's dad would love the Glover. Yeah, it's like he'd fit right in.

Jake Hammett, Bill Elliott's nickname is Awesome Bill from Dawsonville. He's from Dawsonville, Georgia. Best nickname ever. Yeah, that is true. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville. That is a great nickname. That's amazing. That's a great nickname. From Dawsonville, Georgia. EJ, is Aaron getting healthier? He looks good on this episode. Maybe the gout has inspired some positive changes.

Aaron, are you getting... Thank you. How do you feel? I feel great. Yeah, you woke up today, feel great? Yeah. Feel solid. I mean... You know? It's all relative. Yeah. But... Did you get after this weekend? What do you mean? Eating-wise? No. Anything crazy? No, I was pretty good, man. Yeah? Yeah, I've lost a little bit of weight. Yeah. I don't think the gout had anything to do with it, but...

If the gout comes back, that'll kick it into a different gear. Yeah. Maybe the gout's helped you. You can't get to the refrigerator as often as you might want to because it's a limp on over there. Michael Huck. Huck. Michael Huck. Huck. Congrats to body wash on more people hearing his nose than his stand up.

Body wash is a good one. Body wash is good. Body wash is a really good one. Yeah. That's just a funny roast. Yeah, that's a funny roast. More people know about your nose than your stand-up. Willard Garrett. Hello, folks. I'm from Auburn, Alabama, right next to Dusty's hometown of Opelika. What did he say his name is? Opelika. Opelika. Hometown of Opelika. There was a kid named Tristan Pittman who is by far the best athlete of our age.

He would dominate every year playing running back. Our last year playing, Tristan hit a growth spurt and became even more physically dominant. Unfortunately, Tristan was over the weight limit because he was so much taller and stronger than the average kids his age.

Instead of dropping weight to carry the ball, Tristan's coach decided to play him at offensive line and run a fumble ruski every play. The quarterback would set the ball on the ground, and the right guard, Tristan Pittman, would pick the ball up and run for a touchdown every single play. Tristan Pittman is the single reason that fumble ruskies are now banned from Auburn Rec League in football. Wow. Wow.

I mean, that's good coaching right there. Yeah. You just figure, I got to get him the ball. And he's like, you want me to cut weight? He goes, no, I think I got a better way. And then just drop the ball on the ground and grab it. We used to run a play called the Auburn Special. It was when I was real young playing football where we'd put the running back at left guard.

And just hand it and do a reverse to the left guard. Yeah. Like the most illegal play of all time. Yeah. But it would happen so fast. I don't think we ever got caught. Yeah. But you just, you can just cheat like that when you're, when you're that, when you're that young. So you would hike the ball and what? Give it to what? The left guard. Yeah. Just hand it off to the left guard. Oh, just like you would never go through your legs.

Quarterback would take it and just hand it to the left guard right there. And then he would run. Yeah, which you're not allowed to do. Yeah. But you never got called out. Never got called because you never think that you're handing it off to the lineman. I know, but do they not see the end result when the lineman – But it's the running back who has the ball.

The running back and the left guard switch positions for that play. So we huddle up. Oh. And then the left guard would be in the backfield. Yeah. And the running back would be on the line. You just never think to look for that. Was the ref on the phone, dude? It still seems like he could catch that. I don't know how. When you're six and seven and eight, there's not much of a physical difference between –

those kids yeah you know so it's not like you notice a huge fat guy in the backfield they're just the other team the other team's got to be like i swear to you like some guy sounds like a crazy person you go i swear to you that ball is not the guy on the line has the ball yeah seems like the coach of the other team would call it out yeah and be like hey what are you doing that's crazy

Yeah, that might not be. Is it illegal? It's 100% illegal, yeah. I remember the coach being like, you know, if we get caught, we get caught, but let's just keep doing it. And y'all did it just constantly. Oh, it was good. And he would score? You get a big gain, yeah, because you just never think to look. That's where it's coming from. Man. Have you ever seen those plays where you do like a –

The quarterback will go, oh, I have the wrong ball. You can do all these trick plays and then just walk away. Well, they have – some people act like they're running off. Yeah. Like that. Yeah. It's just – all that's just gamesmanship, I think. I think that should be encouraged. Well, I mean, literally cheating, giving the ball to the – Well, yeah. That's a little different. Yeah. That could be different. But – Gamesmanship. Like the Fumble Rooski is, I guess, game and chip. You know, the guys are playing within the rules. Right. And so then they just ban the Fumble Rooski.

Chandler Starks, you guys talking about the meteorite that hit the lady reminds me of a time when my dad had what he thought was a meteorite crash through the roof of his office. He bragged about it and was in the paper and even the local news station with what everyone called the Starks Rock. Just to find out it was a piece of metal from the mulch company down the street that broke off of a machine and shot up in the air.

The Starks rock. I don't understand how they could mistake a piece of metal for a rock from outer space. You know, I think you're just probably not a lot going on in the news there. And they're just excited to be like, you tell them anything. They're like, yeah, this is great. Like something's happening. You know, that's great.

Ian Renfro, I saw you in a big theater last year, but now I could not even be more excited to see you perform in Appleton, Wisconsin at a smaller club. Just praying you don't bring Goutfoot or Ned Schneebly as an opener. I love them both. However, I feel like their unique comedy brands of awkwardly interacting with guests and audibly breathing into microphones is better suited for a podcast. Aaron and I, we're starting our own tour, the breakfast and dinner. Oh, yeah.

That's pretty good. Breakfast in the gout? How about that? Breakfast in the gout. You should just call it the brunch tour. Oh. Lump it up. Oh, breakfast in the gout. Yeah, that's a good tour. I love that they just think that's our whole act, is me just walk around, hey, how are you, try to fist bump people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did that fist bump come off, people like that? No, no, they do not. They were not fans. Yeah, they go, what is herons? Yeah.

Got a close-up. We got slow motion of it. We should get some nice slow motion of just... I'll do a slow-mo cut of it. Dusty not realizing it's happened because he's about to have surgery at that point. He's got other stuff on his mind. Yeah.

As everybody knows, I talked about quitting diet soda last week. I'll be honest with you, I've had only one. That's not bad. That is good. For quitting, I had one. The night of my special, which the day I was supposed to quit, I did good all day.

And then that night, like Laura had to go to her, Laura and Harper went to their family thing. And I was like, I had to do still some more stuff. So I actually was just stayed home alone, which I tell you what, when you're, when you've been married and stuff and you're not doing anything, like if someone's like, you know, cause some people are like, you got to watch your special on a, I didn't watch it, but you know, it's like your night of your special, you're just alone. And as a,

As a husband and a father, you're like the greatest night of my life. It's the best gift I could be given. It's just like to be like, you just get to be alone. Like, I mean, you feel it is like your parents going out of town. You're just like, I mean, I'm upstairs, you know, like it's Kramer when Jerry leaves and he's like doing all the different stuff. I like play video games for a little bit. I'm watching shows. I'm like doing all kinds of stuff. Uh,

So, but I had, I went and I got Sonic. It had about the biggest diet coke you could have. They have great ice.

And I had a sonic blast. But that was the only one? That was the only one. So you basically just started the day after your special. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like your special coming out, that's a special occasion. Yeah. You can have a Diet Coke. I celebrated with a Diet Coke. And so since then, I've not. I've had a lot of unsweet tea, which I wasn't, you know, which the guy I talked to today, he was like, still not great. But I was like, come on, man. We can't. I'm losing my mind here. I'll tell you what it's helped with. I haven't felt bloated.

to be honest. And not even, not that I'm eating great. I'm eating, it has made me eat better because I don't, I haven't got fast food because it's like you just, once you take soda out of the equation, like soda is like, soda is like my trigger to, I want all this stuff, you know, pizza. I think, you know, we had pizza this weekend. I didn't eat it because I just didn't really want it. Like, I'm not having a Diet Coke, but I drank a lot of unsweet tea. Yeah.

Which I don't mind. Yeah. So we got a few people I want to read out. Some of you guys sent some stuff in that you want to stop. And so one was Derek Visor saying his was just saying, I don't want to go to work. He doesn't want to say that anymore. Because he has a six-year-old son and he wants to teach him that,

Work's important and create a work ethic. So if here's his dad complaining about work, then maybe he won't want to work. Yeah. Also would help if he just remembered to pick his son up from school. He's got bigger issues. Maybe he should work on that. Maybe that should be one of the things, you know, to remember to pick his kid up. Heather Esposito, sriracha veggie straws. I don't even know what that is. Yeah. It sounds healthy. Maybe it's not bad. Sriracha veggie straws.

Yeah. Maybe she's too healthy. Yeah. And she's like, I need to get some more bad food in my life. Yeah. But maybe they're bad. I don't know if they're good or bad. Boy, that's a tough word to spell. Sriracha? Yeah. Sriracha veggie straws. One too many R's in there. See if they're good. Maybe they're not good. Oh, I've seen these things before. Yeah. It's a fun snack. Yeah, it's probably like everything. It's probably a very fun snack that you assume is healthy, but...

And then, yeah, I think Harper eats stuff like this. It's like veggie straws. But I bet it's like you think it's healthy, and then it's like it's not. And then you get really into it, and you're like, I got to get off this stuff. Sarah Ireland, salty snack food, and Nate Knight, beer for three months. So I hope you already started, Nate. So we got more on here. We'll keep checking in with you guys to see how you guys are doing. So make sure. I've only had one.

Heather, you better have only had one. I'll give you one bag of veggie straws. You better not have gone crazy. You know, uh, Derek, your kid, he's at school. He's just, you know, uh, uh, all right. We have a guest this week. Uh, we, we are going in, uh, I'm at, uh,

Where were we? Huntsville? Huntsville this weekend, and then now we're going – last weekend we're going to Appleton, Wisconsin. So I'm bringing my buddy from New York City who's been on the road with me these two weeks, staying with me, sleeping on his Helix mattress. You know who's going to be happy about that? Ian Renfrew when he finds out it's not Aaron and I coming to Appleton. Yeah. Ian, lucky for you, it is this young man right here, so I hope you like him. Gary Beder, or I used to call him Gary Vider.

V-I-D-E-R, Gary Veeder. Me and Gary started together. I always say that, and you're like, we're not the same age, all right? Even though we look like it, because he shaves his head. No, but me and Gary, I don't know, we've been friends for, I don't know, 15 years or something like that? Yeah. When did we meet? Maybe, I'll put it at like 10 years.

No way. I've been doing comedy 13 years. No, no, maybe, yeah, maybe 13 years. I've been doing it 18 years. So 13 years. When I first started, I met you. You first started. You were out the gate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I met you actually six months into doing comedy at a show I hosted. Yeah.

and watched it and I was a big fan. And then I asked, I was like, I wanted to learn more about, it's like, how do you come up with jokes? I had no idea how to do comedy whatsoever. And you're like, come along. And then ever since I've just been following you around. Yeah, been here since then. It's never got rid of, tried multiple times. I go, Gary, no, walk away.

uh, no, yeah, well, Gary, then everybody's best friends with Gary. Now we're all, we're all, you know, like, it was like, you just kind of get people in your group and, uh, and he was, Gary was very, very funny. And so we, I remember seeing Gary and we talking and then, yeah, we just run around the clubs and, um,

Which is always my – it's good to have people run around with you. You're talking about comedy the whole time. It's good. I always think that's such an important thing to help you out and help me out. And then you're just sitting there. You get a – I don't know. When you're explaining how to write comedy because you're like, I don't know, dude. I don't know how to write comedy. I mean, I'm writing this act now. And you're like, I don't know how to come up with this stuff. Like there's not – it's hard to find a –

Like you can't just like when you write new jokes, it's not like there's a false that you're like you turn it on. Right. You feel after every special, you will never be able to write anything ever again.

And then even though I have new stuff now, I'm still, you're like, I don't, there's no, I don't know how I came up with this stuff. You're, it's just happens. Yeah. Over the weekend, we were just talking, I mean, talking back and forth about comedy and just like, you know, things that you know, but it's good to like hear again, like just transitions of jokes, how to get to one joke to the other, just seamlessly. And just hearing that again, it's like, all right. Yeah. Just focusing on little aspects of comedy by just talking about it, even though you know it, it's good to hear again. Yeah. It helps.

Yeah, it's good. We talked a lot about this. I'm a big transition. So it's like making stuff lead into the next things you're going to talk about. And I cannot have it. That's the jokes that I have trouble with, the jokes that I have trouble when I don't lead into the joke very easily. Sometimes you got to find a way to do it. Sometimes it's natural and sometimes you got to somehow...

you know mess with it a little bit to so i can get into it so you don't feel like you're just you know i'm talking about you know diet soda and then i you know now i'm like so then i was on i was swinging on a play set one day like you know it's just out of nowhere you would try to make those things you think sometimes a hard cut like that can be funny though if i don't want to use they're used sparingly but i don't i don't want i don't want to laugh for that

I don't want to laugh because of that. Because that, to me, is like a trick. So like, yes, it is funny. And people have done that. And comics have done it. And so I don't think I should have to rely on a laugh for that reason.

Like, you know, I'm not saying I don't ever do anything. Like, you know, if a joke doesn't work, it's very easy to be like, well, that one was terrible. Like, and that gets a laugh. And that's kind of looked at as like, as a trick. I'm not saying I don't do that as a, like, I would say that on stage. Cause when you're up there, you're like, all bets are off to this joke that works. So you, I, there's, there's stuff you do that's like, but I don't want to ever do anything that's going to, uh,

would translate to the final product. So I would, if I did it, it's like, you don't want to rely on that. Cause then I just think you rely on it. Then that, that sticks in your act. Like you can tell when someone, you know, sometimes has something and they, they, they keep it, they like keep it in their act. And you can tell that that happened one time and they act like, all right, someone in the back. I know y'all are someone back there just got mad at me for saying, you're like, well, no one got mad, but no,

One person did one time and you came up with a funny thing. So it's like either figure a way to not act like it's- Spontaneous. Yeah, like spontaneous when it wasn't. Well, they would do a thing. I mean, comics do this all the time and I hate it, but it would be, how's that for a transition? You know, like when it's that and that's their cut and that's what they keep in instead of just finding a way to piece it together. Yeah. Yeah. You get a laugh off that easy transition.

kind of thing. And it's, it's okay to get a laugh off that, but it's like the final product I think should be, it's just, you know, eventually going to a special. So it should, you should be able to get out of it. And I should be able to find, I remember doing one tonight show, a transition. I should be able to, I remember trying to find our one tonight show. I was like transitioning from one joke to, and the guy was like, I just don't see how those are jokes are going to go together. I forget, man. I can't remember the joke. Uh,

But I remember just telling him, I was like, oh, we're, it'll be all right. I'll figure it out. And then I had to did. Yeah. Without having to, it's like, it's, I don't know. That's what's, that's what comedy is. It's like that. Like, how do you make these two things go together? How do I make them seem like they go together when they don't, you know, without being, you know, without saying anything.

Yeah, I think late night sets help that a ton because they're five minutes of jokes that maybe you weren't putting in that order until that late night set. And then you're just connecting the dots. You didn't even think that it could connect that way. And then you've done a lot of them. So you've experienced where, yeah, I'll find a way because you could connect anything somehow. Somehow. You just start thinking about it. I think the hardest thing is just starting a set.

I don't even know what to say to people. Like even, you know, walking into a room, that's hard enough. But like then walking in front of an audience, just saying something that's like interesting right off the top. I just feel they're looking at me like, oh, this guy, this guy's not good. This guy's going to be bad. This is not my kind of guy. Yeah.

Yeah, no, that's always very, very hard. I mean, that's where I started like, all right. I was like, all right, here we go. We're doing it. Like you do come up with, you just figure out whatever your kind of thing is that you're just trying to get into the set. But like this weekend, the Eagles story, we've talked about Eagles on here, where that joke came. Let's talk about one joke that I brought over from, not everything's from, it has been good. Like I have a ton of podcast stuff.

into that but i started talking about an eagle which we talked about on this and like that was a tough one to get into but i think i figured a way to do it because it was like it's an eagle like i don't you know what what do i have what story do i have that involves you know an eagle like how do you get into an eagle story it's like a weird or eagle joke but you just you've there's the there's always a way you can make an argument that if everything transitions too easy you're

you're probably not branching out enough different types of jokes. Yeah, that's true. Like if it goes, if it flows too much, I mean, you, you like to everything to flow with like, you know, I go, you know, daughters, you know, and the special was, you know, like daughter stuff into my parents, into wife stuff. And like, it's like, so all that's put into like, so you're just making it all kind of go together. And then it makes it, I think it makes it easier for the audience to relax and

Like it's, you know, it's, it's just kind of, they're like watching and you're just, you know, they can just kind of go with the flow and it doesn't feel like it's jumping around and all this kind of stuff. And you're just, you know, and it makes it harder for them to tell where the jokes are at. Like that you're trying to hide them. You know, all comedy is, is just mixed in. You know, what's funny is I've had people too, and it's just been a couple of comments, but like, I know people are like, you know, they always say like, sounds like this guy's in a bad marriage.

And I, that stuff I hate more than anything. Like, what do you, you know, you like, and I actually might say this on stage. It was your wife. It was, yeah. I don't know. Is it Elle Bargetzi? I don't know. Uh, LB, uh, Laura Bar. Anybody, I don't know who this person was, but they, uh,

And I think I do want to address it on stage, or maybe in the next special, because I know some people just will hear that's the next special. But that's always so frustrating to me, to be like, what do you think? I mean, you guys here know Laura. You've seen Laura. We've talked to her.

I have a wonderful family. I love her more than anything. I've been with her since I was 21. But do you want me to go up and just talk about how it's going great? Yeah. Is that what you think? People want to see that. Yeah. Like, you think that's what people want? Like, they're just going like, well, tell us. And you got to, I don't know when you tell a joke about your wife, you do have to, you don't want it to come in a hateful place.

And in this special, there's one thing that I said that I kind of wanted, I wish I would have. I was talking about us not fighting with our daughter and neither one of us, we're only talking through Harper to...

through each other. And I did like, that was like a little kind of tag that's straight up just trying to be funny and trying to say stuff. And that was the only thing I kind of was like, I wish I would have probably taken that out just because that's the only thing that kind of seems very mean. Like I'm kind of, cause we're fighting and obviously in front of Harper, uh, where it's like, that's not what's happening. And that's the only thing that I was kind of like, you know, I would have probably taken out just to be like, I don't need that. I don't want that to come off like that.

You know, like we're just always fighting in front of her. But we don't. No, we're not always fighting. It would be impossible to fight. If you look at the fights I've talked about, we've been together for 20 years. I'm basically talking about all the fights.

So like what, 12 of them, 15 of them? But that's what's funny. Just when you need a new hour. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I rile it up. You start picking them. I start coming, yeah. I go, oh yeah, the podcast. I go, what happened to the waters up there today? I just try to get something going. I go, mine was a little too warm. But yeah, like people like that's, you know, it's like, you know, and that's not, I always think that's a comment like that is like someone that's not, they don't know who I am and they don't,

you know, it's like, they don't know comedy yet. They don't know comedy yet, but it's like, yeah. Are there ways to say this sometimes on the podcast? They'd be like, you guys are just too mean. You're like, comedy is mean. I say that in the special, like it's the mean speech. It's like, if you know one, if it's out of context, it sounds like a mean speech. Comedy is, is mean. Everything's mean. There's not a joke on earth. That's right. That's nice. Is there one that's like,

I mean, something's got to be either I'm dumb, they're dumb, you're dumb, you're wrong, I'm right. Like, that's the only way you even – otherwise, there is no – comedy doesn't exist. It's just puns after that. Yeah, after that. That's pretty much it. Yeah, it would have to be – you ever see tree? You have to make fun of, like, something that doesn't have – and then people are like, you can't make fun of trees. They get mad about that. Roasted trees? Yeah.

oh you're seeing an oak tree the attitude of an oak tree you know you get out of here it's pine tree comes up and he's like i'm everywhere and you're like you're not everywhere dude you know he's more noticeable uh so uh anyway so yes so uh this week so me yeah me and gary gary's been on a ton of stuff you can see uh uh he's on america's got talent yep final top 10 finalist yeah

Had a wild ride. Wild ride. It was a fun one. Howard Stern talked about you? Yeah, that was the coolest part about it. He was there. Now he's not there. Left the show after I was the same season. But you got, that was the best one that you got, at least with him on. Yeah, he was the coolest one. Yeah, out of anybody. I mean, obviously, I grew up listening to him. And then he looks at comedy like a comic. Yeah. He didn't do stand-up, but he loves it. He gets it. Yeah, and he loves comedians.

appreciates a good written joke and that's what I was looking for so you know if he would have said something bad that would have just you know broken my heart yeah but yeah and that's and that's kind of thing is like I'm you know I'm sure you experience it you meet somebody and I never expected to meet him but uh the fact that just hoping that he would like me when I got to meet him was the best thing otherwise it just would have been yeah did you ever really talk to him or is it just like a little bit yeah a little bit backstage but they kind of just usher the judges like in and out and they're in a bubble

And that was before COVID. It's like they knew. They knew. They did. Yeah. But if you saw him today, I think he'd remember you. Yeah, I think he would. Yeah. I mean, yeah, he liked comedy. Yeah. So he was, I think, you know, I think at the end of the day, it's like after doing that show, you

Getting his approval was the coolest part. The other ones, it's like Heidi Klum was a person who she would criticize my act after. And it's like, English isn't even your first language. So you're not getting my humor. Yeah, it makes sense. This isn't what you know. You don't know this. I wore high heels on my last show. So the whole process, if people don't know about doing a show like that. So you auditioned.

uh, yeah. For where'd you audition at? New Jersey performing arts center. Yeah. And it was, it's you in, you know what, uh, I would say that day, maybe like a thousand people, but then they have it going on for like a week straight. So you're one of those people. And you, that I was able to skip, I sent in a tape and they were like, you're going to be able to go in front of the judges right off the bat. So I was lucky enough to go there and

Well, you're someone with talent. Like you're with... I already did Conan. You already did Conan. So that helped. So yeah, yes, yes. They want... That's what people... I mean... It wasn't like a blind submission. Yes. And people can get farther that way because they do have producers look at your tapes, at least on that show. But in this case, I sent it to a producer and...

that reached out to me because I guess they saw my Conan. And then from there I was able to just jump the initial process, which I think the initial process is you go into a room and then you just, if I was, if you're a comic, you just do your set in front of like one person in front of a tape, which is obviously super hard and not hearing laughs for anybody involved, anybody picking the talent. It's almost impossible. Yeah.

Would you have probably not done it then, right? Yeah, I wouldn't have done that. You wouldn't have done it, yeah. It was like they asked you. It's a waste of time. At that point, yeah, to me, it's like a waste of time. So then I did the show at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center, and you're in front of the four judges. And this was a bad setup because it was at 2 p.m. on like a Monday. And they had in New Jersey Performing Arts Center, I think it seats like 3,000 people.

And this probably had maybe like 250 people in there. And, you know, it got laughs and, you know, I guess they had the audience mic, so it sounded well. But when you're up on stage, it's like, you're not hearing, you know, a crazy amount of laughter, but the judges gave me, you know, all check marks. And then I was able to move on to the next level, which was just, it was like four rounds of stuff, like, or five rounds of stuff until you get to the finals. And the next round was like a,

Like only, I think like four people make it and I was able to go from there. And then from there, the live shows, which are at Radio City. Yeah. And that was like on TV. Like what's the first time you get on TV at the first audition? Yeah, the first audition. Yeah. The first audition. And that one's a big one because a lot of people tune in and they put a whole like montage together of you and then all the different like crazy acts that they have.

Yeah. It's a good way to like gain, gain fans and get people on your side and hope for, hope that you're going to advance from there. Yeah. So I did that. And then, yeah, went from there, did, there was another audition that was in Long Island or not audition, but another taping in Long Island that, that went on air, but that wasn't live. And then the next ones were all live to tape at radio city, which is,

And that's the craziest experience of just a live shot that's on NBC, 8 p.m., and you're at Radio City Musical. And I'm already in front of 6,000 people, which is the most amount of people I've performed in front of. But on top of that, it's live. So, I mean, it's just like an outer body experience. You rehearse your set nonstop, and it's only, you know, it's like two and a half minutes that you're doing, but you're hoping you don't flub anything. Yeah. Yeah.

And yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. I mean, the amount of pressure is wild. Yeah. And nobody thought like I would get that. Like, you know, I remember I was telling my wife, I'm like, I'm doing the audition. She's like, oh, good. You're still doing comedy. She didn't even know I was still doing comedy. Oh, you're going out. Okay. Yeah, that's cool. And then-

Then I'm like, oh, I advance. She's like, oh, good. You know, like that. And then from there, it's just I'm doing a live show. And then advance from the quarterfinals to the semifinals. And the craziest part was, and you know this, is that because you're at my wedding and my wedding party, from the semifinals, I –

it was my wedding was in between the semifinals and the finals. And I didn't tell them at all that I was getting married because they follow you around with cameras and everything. So I was like, I live with a roommate. I didn't even tell him I had a wife. And it just happened to fall in between my wedding. And I had to tell them that I needed time off from like doing all like their random shoots during the day. Cause they always put like together like a whole package right before your performance.

And I had to tell them that I couldn't do any of that stuff until like, you know, the day before the finals because I was getting married. And they were like, you thought you have like a roommate. We didn't even know you were straight. Yeah, well, it's gotten pretty serious between me and that roommate. So, they thought you were gay and you're like...

whoa, this is, okay, wow, that's a lot to take in. It's a curveball. Yeah. Yeah, that was your backstory. You could finally get out of this one little tiny apartment with your roommate. Exactly. So yeah, we, you know, I did that and, you know, I think they were so pissed that I didn't tell them. I'm like, yeah, I'm sorry. Like, my wife just wanted to have a normal wedding without, you know, they would have wanted cameras there. I mean, I probably would have won America's Got Talent now that I'm thinking about it.

about it. I mean, yeah. You would have told us no today when we asked you to come here. You'd be like, no, I can't. Life would be much different. Much different if you gave that. I mean, well, so many people...

go in there just focused on that backstory. Yeah. Like that's a way that an angle that people do is I got this crazy backstory. I'm going to really let them know that I have all this kind of crazy stuff, but you didn't do that. Yeah. I tried giving myself cancer and everything. You did everything else. You're like, my dad's a firefighter and... Yeah.

And they're like, oh, man, he died on 9-11. You're like, no, it was July 5th. It was like 1984. You're like, oh, was that just a normal? And you go, yeah, yeah, he was old. Like, it's not even from. They really get into it. You're like, it was like, yeah. But, yeah, it was just crazy, that whole experience. And I remember, I mean, so the semifinals, the finals will end up being two days after my wedding.

But the semifinals, it came down to like I was a final selection where it was right before the show was about to end, like the last minute of the show. And it's either between me and this like illusionist group or whatever. And they have like the spotlights and they vote. And it's like, it's so close. We're going to have to go to, you know, an audience vote online. And I'm like, oh, my God. Because it's like such a letdown if you don't get it and then you're a loser at your own wedding. Yeah.

And I wound up getting it, got to the finals, which was my goal the whole time. My whole goal was to get to the finals and, you know, hopefully, you know, change my career somewhat. And then, you know, I was able to do it. And, you know, the wedding was great. And then I lost in the finals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You told them you got married? Yeah. Yeah, Louis would have still given that speech. The speech that Louis J. Gomez gave at Gary's wedding.

Yeah, I had it on video. I have it on video because we had a videographer. So I'm going to get that speech so we could play it somewhere. Yeah, well, you got to play it on podcast as a whole. You guys are going to buy it. Option the rights. Well, no, it was like such a... Was he George Costanza cursing at the...

Oh, yeah. I think it was like cursing. It was a very comic, pro-comic speech. Yeah. I mean, there's probably 20 comics at the wedding. It was like a decent sized wedding, maybe like 150, 170 people or whatever. Yeah, it was supposed to be about two, 200 people. Yeah, I know. I thought I was going to sell out, but it didn't work out that way.

And it was, yeah, it was, but Lewis made the speech and it had nothing to do with like, you know, marriage or anything. It was just directly toward, you know, to me and to the comics. And then that, you know, that was it. But yeah. Yeah. Why did he even give a speech? Was he your? He was my best man. He was the best man. Yeah, we were friends at the time. Yeah. You haven't talked to him since? Yeah, I haven't seen him.

Lewis was your best man? I was in the Grimmsville. Yeah, you, Soder. Me, Soder. Shacky. Shacky, yeah. Dave Smith. Yeah. I remember coming to New York to visit you like 10 years ago, and you were, I felt like fairly new, but you were, y'all were doing shows at Eastville that weekend, and Soder was there, and we all hung out. You were so...

And I felt like you were very new, but you're already just killing, I thought. And then I come back right after you finish America's Got Talent. Now the younger comics are following you around and you're kind of the vet going from spot to spot. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I mean, I definitely do a ton of spots. I mean, in New York now, there's not a lot going on. But yeah, it's nice that...

You know, it's weird when you hear somebody be like, oh, I, you know, hear you on a podcast. I like watch your material. And when you're like, wow, yeah, I've been doing it 13 years. But yeah, I remember meeting you and everything. You know, it's cool. And I remember, you know, Nate talking about, yeah. So it's so weird when, you know, you look at like a comedian tree kind of like, I was thinking of this. It was just like all your friends. It's like everybody's from all over. Like funny comes from.

all over but then somehow we like were able to like mesh together and where you're in high school you're like it always felt like i was like yeah i mean there are other funny people but nobody who wanted to pursue comedy and then when you get into the comedy world you see all these people doing comedy you're like oh i found you know my like group and it's such a you know interesting thing it's like the coaching like a coaching tree yeah it's like yeah it's everybody always has like i'm you're you're more like i always examine new york guy like my

closest friends and people that I was with coming up the most, uh,

was New York. So it was like the New York guys. So those were the guys, you and Soder and List and Norman and Jay Metzger, a million of them. It's like the Bill Parcells coaching tree. Everything kind of comes to theirs. And then you come from Patrice, Burr, David Tell, you're seeing all that. Yeah, it's like you come from that side versus LA is a lot of Rogan. Or Dane Cook was like a big one out there, even though he's from Boston. Yeah.

So did they, at America's Got Talent, did they ever say that you just got married? No, they never said it. Yeah. It wasn't part, yeah. They didn't. I mean, after that, they were like. They would have been like, we would have filmed that wedding. Yeah, they would have loved it. Yeah. They would have loved that, to do that. But yeah, you know, my wife, she was so happy that, you know, to have that, I was able to have that success on the show. But at the same time, she like, you know, like she thinks about that wedding. She wants that wedding to be special. Yeah. You know, and have it in.

people so many people were like coming up and like so happy that i was on the show and i never wanted to feel like she was getting like anything taken away yeah i mean i wore a white dress as well yeah but besides that she's cool with it uh so uh this week uh what we wanted to talk about is uh uh con artist yep con artist and kind of what made us uh

Think of this. And some people might know this story. You did a thing in Sports Illustrated. Yep. Ironically enough. But you have some con stories. Some good con stories. Some good con stories. Yeah, totally. I mean, my con stories all involve sports. And then the article in Sports Illustrated that I wrote, it was back when it was all surrounded around the last dance when Michael Jordan came out. I think we all...

Yeah, because we all, once you hear all the story about it, I think we were all calling you and texting you being like, dude, this is the time. Yeah, it was wild. So yeah, I released these pictures that I had where there were all these pictures where my mom had these pictures in a box. So I never shared them with anybody until...

The Last Dance came and I first made an Instagram post and then I sent them into Sports Illustrated for kids once they found out about the story. But between the years of starting in like 92, like 93, like that,

NBA, NHL season, my dad and I started going to Madison Square Garden and we'd go. And this was his idea initially because I was a subscriber to Sports Illustrated for Kids. He would say that I was a writer for Sports Illustrated for Kids and he was my photographer. He wouldn't even go as my father. Yeah.

And my dad was a con man in everyday life, but this was just like, to him, you know, just a fun, you know, con that he could do with his son. I love sports. He loved lying. We'd go, I mean, that was his thing. Like that was, you know, we love comedy. He loves lying. He's like, do you care? You asked him, do you care about the game? He's like, I care about getting in the game.

Exactly. And so we would, he would do everything that, you know, he was supposed to, he would reach out to the, whoever was head of PR at the garden, let them know that, you know, a reporter and a photographer for sports, so she for kids was going to head to the game. And when we would get to the garden, we'd be there for shoot around or, you know, for, for the Rangers or for the Knicks. And we'd have press passes waiting for us already. Yeah.

I would either be sitting in the press box, my dad, or like find a seat that would be like, you know, by the, the glass or by like very close to the court. My dad would always be taking pictures on the court. He would, would never even be sitting together. All,

Obviously, we didn't have a ticket, so everything would be free. He had to have a camera, like a real camera. He had a real camera. He looked professional. He had a vest and everything. He had pockets where he would keep extra film. And my dad actually took good pictures. So it was kind of like he was living a life where he was able to be an actual photographer, something that I'm sure he always wanted to be, but without actually having to go to photography school or getting a job or applying for a job at Sports Illustrated. Yeah.

So he would take these pictures. He would do everything that, you know, he was supposed to. He would take pictures of security guards and stuff. And then when we'd go back to the garden, he'd show them the pictures. So he started becoming friends. And he had this way about him that...

People were always very trusting in him. And so nobody ever doubted our story of us saying that we were sports-associated for kids because, one, he's with a kid. He has pictures. So he had a lot of backup info that made it look so legit. And after games, we would just go into locker rooms. I'd meet players. I'd take pictures with them. And I'd get autographs. Because they would give you credentials. You saw you had to show up with credentials. Yeah, didn't have to show up with credentials.

with credentials. - They would give them to you. - And this is in the 90s, so there's no way of actually checking if we're with Sports Illustrated for kids. I mean, yeah, they could make a phone call, but my dad always said that people don't wanna go through that work. Even, I mean, if somebody was like, "Oh, I don't think you could do it now."

100 my dad would be able to do it now there's no way and i'm not talking about like fake email address it's just that certain people you know people don't do their jobs they don't do their due diligence on on on looking up like oh i think this guy's lying my dad just talks a good game and he's confident yeah very confident and obviously that's a huge part of it uh and so he was able to bypass people to even have them even think that this was a scam yeah and

The main story that I talked about in Sports Illustrated was I was at Jordan's double nickel game. Very hard ticket to get. We didn't have tickets. We went to the game. I sat fourth row. My dad sat on the court the entire game. I was basically with Bill Murray, Tom Brokaw, and Phil Donahue. That was my section, my boys. Yeah, yeah. What's up, fellas? It's Tom Brokaw. Yeah. It's a picture of Gary and Tom Brokaw. Yeah.

And you, and, uh, yeah. And then, uh, yeah. That's Maury Povich. I don't know. Phil Donahue is in there though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like my, this was the kind of stuff that would happen at the games where my dad would make them like basically like mug me. Yeah. Like he was very like a comfortable hug. Right. Yeah. That was a, yeah. That's a lot. Yeah. I still talk to my therapist about that. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, we would go to the game. And my dad just made them feel comfortable. I was like- I like you took pictures with everybody that would do an interview with you about the story of them taking the picture. Yeah. Well, I was like this almost like, I think they looked at me as almost like, oh, it's like a kind of like little journalist prodigy over here. And you know that this is all fake even at this age. 100%.

You know, like my dad just making this. But it was, you know, like we, so we would go to these games and everything. And I'll definitely get into the story about the double nickel game, which is where I met them. But the, like we were doing this and just regular, you know, everything that my dad could scam, he would, you know, obviously, you know, people sneak into movie theaters, but my dad, he could afford us going to a movie theater. But to him, it's like, let's just sneak in, you know, and it's simple that way.

He was always a quick talker, so he'd make friends with people, you know, like the guy at the pizzeria. My dad owned a phone business, so he could fix phone lines. And I'm sure he'd tap phone lines, too, and everything like that. Yeah, yeah.

He would, he would do phone lines if somebody had a phone trouble at a pizza place and we'd go to those pizza places and just eat for free. And my dad, I'm sure it's still charged them, but he was just this friendly guy like, oh, can my son get a slice of pizza? And, you know, he worked there. So at, you know, uh, you know, for a little while, so we'd always get free slices of pizza at a local pizza place and, you know, just different ways that he would cut corners. And, um, and, and he'd always, that was kind of the life that he lived.

Yeah. And so as far as the Jordan double nickel game goes, we were there and- And Jordan, by the way, some people don't know exactly. This is Jordan's comeback. Is he number 45? 45. This is his fifth game back at the Garden. Yeah, from his retirement. So he retired, he came back, he's wearing number 45. I mean, this is one of the more iconic, I mean, most everybody's going to know what this is, but-

but some people were younger and they don't remember Jordan. And this was a very iconic game in the garden. He's always done very well in the garden. And this was kind of his ended up being kind of his I'm back game. Yeah. And what's crazy about the garden back in the heyday was celebrities would be there nonstop. They would go to the Nick games. They had Patrick Ewing, John Starks, Charles Oakley. So like the Knicks were very, very good. And the Knicks playing the bulls was, was an incredible rivalry. So this was an extremely hard ticket to get. And, uh,

This is in 1995. And out of all the years that we've been doing, we've been doing probably about like two and a half, three years at this point doing the scam. We never ran into anybody from Sports Illustrated for Kids. But at this game, the actual Sports Illustrated for Kids was there. And Sports Illustrated for Kids back then, they didn't have a kids reporter. So it was two adults. It was an adult writer and adult photographer.

You were making them more legit. I made them more legit and it's more believable. Yeah. You know, so we were there and we were at shoot around and my dad found out that the actual Sports Illustrated for kids were there and it didn't stop my dad. He actually made us go up to them and we got like their business cards and everything. He didn't lead on that that's...

what we were posing as. He just found, you know, just had us meet, got their cards. I guess just, he always loved getting information. So getting information like, oh, this is who this is in case I see them again. But we then, you know, sat where I sat in my fourth row seat. My dad sat on the floor. By the time the game ended,

We just kind of bum rushed to security so we could get into the locker room before they could get in. Because everybody wanted to go in and interview Michael Jordan after he just scored 55 points. And there was a huge line. They were behind us. We get in and I'm like walking through the locker room. And before I know it, I'm getting pulled into a private room that I guess my dad talked to a security guard, found out that Michael Jordan was in a private room with just him and Phil Jackson and

and a couple other assistant coaches. And we go into this room and I sit down and I asked Michael Jordan, I had three questions that I wanted to ask him. And I only remembered asking him like, what's your favorite food? Cause I was just so nervous, you know, meeting Michael Jordan. And we took a picture and,

And I was too scared to ask for an autograph, biggest mistake of my life. And it's probably why my dad doesn't talk to me anymore. And I had Fia Luzon. Michael Jordan was like, you know, you got to go get some Nikes. If I was now, I would have just been like, why don't you just give me some? And then we... What was his favorite food? His steak. Steak, okay. And just like Nate. That's the only question I've ever asked Nate. Yeah.

And I go out in the hallway and meet Scottie Pippen. I had a picture with Phil Jackson, too. And then after... Yeah, there's Phil Jackson, Scottie. And after that, I'm super happy. Got to meet him. Got that great picture with Michael Jordan. We're walking out and...

the actual Sports Illustrated for kids, they were still trying to get in. They still couldn't get in. So, you know, his story, my dad's, you know, con was so good and he's such a good talker that even with actual credentials, you know, people weren't able to get in. Yeah. And he was able to, you know, put us through. And it all came down to, you know, him talking a good game, him being able to, you know, show legitimacy in the pictures that we were able to have over the years and people knowing us at the Garden. Like, people knew us there. Yeah.

and never doubted us. Did your dad ever get caught doing anything? No, I mean, like, I mean, he had things, you know, happen. I mean, just little things that it was never, he would definitely be in court a lot, but he never, he never got, never got caught. He always found ways where, say, if you were suing my dad, he would counter sue.

And it just would, he, he knew the court system too. He would delay things where a lot of times people, you know, being in court costs a lot of money for people. So my dad, not that he, you know, had a ton of money, but he knew how to delay things and how to put things off. And when a lawyer's being put off, he's still charging that client for, you know, if a lawyer calls you on the phone, he's charging you when he's talking to you. Yeah. So all that, uh,

knowing that he's able to get out of a lot of jams that he's been in. And my dad would do slip and falls and he'd do fender benders where he was wearing a neck brace for a while. So this was just a common thing. And it was kind of like I was also part of that. I'd be in the car and he'd say, you act like your neck hurts too. Just different things that he would do to get him

you know, I guess like through the year. So just, you know, money wise. As a kid, did you love it? Like, or is it like in the moment or would you get tired of it? Or you. Eventually I got tired of it, but it's fun because sometimes you can't tell your friends that you could tell them, you know, now you're on a podcast and you're a comedian. Yeah. Yeah. You're enjoying it. Your friends never knew you met Jordan.

They knew it because I would show them pictures, but I couldn't tell them how I met Jordan. It would always come down to my dad knew somebody at the garden, something like that. So that was our end to show people what we did. But I could never be like, if I had any pictures that were some of the pictures I have press credentials on, those are pictures I wouldn't show anybody. Right. Yeah. What's the one biggest key to being a good con man?

Well, yeah, but I mean, it's your backstory. You have to kind of think what they would possibly ask. Definitely not get too crazy on details, but think of the scam that we did. It was, I'm a kid, my dad's a photographer. It's so simple. Once you start putting so many different layers on a scam, that's how you're going to get caught, I think. So kind of making it definitely as simple as possible. Having a kid there is enormous. Yeah.

That's enormous because no one's really going to tell a kid no. Yeah, and I think that works for a lot of scams. That works for a lot of scams if you have your kid there. And then having a lot of answers. Like you said, him getting the business cards of those guys that y'all are pretending to be is pretty smart because he knows if someone goes, who are you here with? He's like, oh, I'm with Johnny and Jim. They're the Sports Illustrated. They're over there. Go ask, talk to them about it because he knows you're not going to go talk to them about it.

It's too crazy. And I know you're not going to. And I'm going to look at your face and say, and no one wants to be like, I think you're lying to me. Like that's very uncomfortable to do. Yeah.

Yeah, my dad, you know, something he would probably do would be, you know, he'd have those cards and be like, yeah, I'm sorry, my boss, though, he's at the game over here, too, so if you want to talk to him, here you go. But people didn't doubt it whatsoever. Yeah, there would be, like, some delay, you know, holdups of us possibly getting into a locker room, but we never had a problem getting into a locker room, and

I was telling you, I guess you're a hockey guy now a little bit because of Nashville, the Predators. But I was at the Rangers game one, game five, and game seven, Stanley Cup, no tickets. Game seven, I sat glass. I went into the locker room for the Canucks, seeing them lose, and they were just heartbroken. And then after that, my dad takes me into the locker room for the Rangers where they're celebrating and drinking from the cup. Craziest experience. Probably, I don't think any reporter did that.

You went into both locker rooms. I went into both locker rooms. So you went into the losing locker room. And this is at game seven. And the Rangers won the Stanley Cup after not winning it for 54 years. So the garden is the most insane thing. I go in the locker room. I got so many autographs, so many pictures and everything. And from there, I went to the Rangers after party.

And I'm only 11 years old. And the way I got in was crazy because we go to the door for the party. It's in the garden. It's upstairs. And we can't get in right away because our press credentials don't allow us access. And so it's like, come on. I was so used to getting in everywhere. I'm like, this is where it ends? Yeah.

This guy, my dad always easy, you know, could always find a way to get us in. This guy walks by and this is when people had rolls of film and he, he goes, I don't have any film. And he saw my dad with his camera and he goes, Hey, like any chance I could have a roll of film. My dad goes, yeah, you could have a roll of film. If you could get my son into this party. And I just walked in with this strange guy.

To the Ranger Stanley Cup party. And I just went up. I had this hat. I wanted to get it signed by the four all-stars of the Rangers that year. It was Brian Leach, Mark Messier, Adam Graves, and Mike Richter. And I just went up to them in the party. They're all sitting there with their wives and girlfriends. And I'm getting all the autographs. And it's probably at this point like 2 in the morning. And my dad...

He wound up getting into it. I don't know. Probably went through the vent or something. But he got in and then we were there. And I just remember driving home and I'm 11 years old. It's probably six in the morning at this point. And we lived in Long Island. So it's about an hour back. And we drove home and it's just like, I'm the happiest kid in the world. And it's an experience. I'm going to school the next day. I can't share with a single person. Yeah. Yeah.

you know, outside of like, yeah, I was out the game. And you go into school, you're on basically no sleep. Yep. And just go to school and just be like, yeah. And then the kids at school are like, did you watch the game last night? And you're like, I mean, I was there. Yeah. It presented me with a different life in a way where I was able to meet people

people who really accomplished stuff that almost seemed unreachable. Like these athletes meeting Michael Jordan, meeting the Rangers and being at witnessing these things kind of show me it's like, you know, if you not only forget about lying, but if you work hard, you could get there. So it like kind of allowed me to rub elbows with them, which was definitely probably the best lesson out of all of it.

And also, of course, I mean, obviously I know how to lie if I wanted to. Yeah. Yeah. You can lie if you need to. Yeah. That's unbelievable. And so he would send you in too. Like, so it wasn't like he was doing all this for you. It was, like you said, he almost liked the idea that he got you in more than even him being in that room. Yeah. I think he liked accomplishing. The lie of being accomplished was like a nice check mark for him. He's like, I did it again. I did it again. Yeah. I'm successful. Yeah. Yeah.

Where did you meet Mario Lemieux? Oh, Mario Lemieux. So there was a celebrity golf tournament called the CGA. They, I don't think they do it anymore, but it was, uh, in long Island and Mario Lemieux and all the celebrities. That's where I also met John Elway too. But, um, they were, they were staying at this Marriott hotel in long Island. And Mario Lemieux was the number one hockey player. I always wanted to meet. And, uh,

My dad calls up, finds out where they're staying, and they're staying at this Marriott. He calls up, says that he's Marilyn Mew's chauffeur. I don't know how he got Marilyn Mew's room number. It was probably used in an alias or whatever. And found out what time Marilyn Mew, by posting on the chauffeur, found out what time Marilyn Mew was going to come downstairs to...

for his, to take him to the golf tournament. And once he knew that, he then followed that up with a call as Sports Illustrated for Kids asking if he could do like a 15 minute interview

his chauffeur arrives and he knew the time now so it was like oh can you meet me at like 745 when you know we're meeting at 8am and Mario Lemieux said no problem my dad reserved this private hall in this Marriott hotel just big banquet hall it was just me and Mario Lemieux and my dad videotaping me interview Mario Lemieux and

you know, I don't, I can't even tell you, I don't even remember what I was asking him, but that videotape still exists probably in my dad's house still. And then I, after the interview, I had Marilyn Mew sign a couple autographs and my dad's like, why don't you walk Marilyn Mew out to his, his car? And so we took this like long walk and he was just talking, talking hockey with me and telling me, you know, work hard and all that, you know, all that. You're playing hockey at this time. Yeah. I was a big hockey guy. I loved hockey. And,

And then, yeah, we was, you know, meeting your idol. I'm like, just another one. I mean, he, he, him to me was also like a Michael Jordan. So I, I love hockey so much. Just being around Mary Lemieux was cool and, and getting to take that walk, which was just surreal. Yeah.

Wow. Look at that picture with Elway. Look at Elway's hands compared to your hand. Oh, yeah. He crushed. So, yeah, Elway crushed my hands with it. And so I met a lot of people where, you know, you're like, oh, nice, I'm going to shake this guy's hand. And Elway almost broke my hand. I remember thinking that. Were you ever nervous when doing this?

I wasn't nervous. I kind of got, I was nervous more meeting them than not getting caught whatsoever. Yeah. Getting caught was not, not a thing. Cause y'all never got caught. Never got caught. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing I got nervous was meeting them, you know, at, I definitely had, uh, you know, kind of an idea like, Oh, maybe like, we're not going to be able to get in. Like there's, you know, you never know. And, but every time it wasn't a problem. Yeah. Why'd y'all stop?

I became 38. It was like, by the time I was 14, I didn't want to keep on lying. It became a thing. It becomes a little bit draining. And my dad, again, this is every, you know, he was doing this in college.

all aspects of his life so you know business he uh owned this payphone company and one of his things that he did was he would pose that he worked for at&t he's big on posing yeah you know so he posed he posed my dad poses as the most successful human being that's ever lived exactly so he posed as a worker for at&t and uh his thing was he would put in payphones in different businesses and they thought they were getting you

you know, from AT&T. My dad had a business line that had the same ring chime as AT&T. Like everything was AT&T. And eventually got caught up where AT&T found out about this. This is the craziest story. But to me, this blows away the Sports Illustrated. They found out that he was, and this has been fact-checked by a cousin,

But they found out that my dad was posing for AT&T. They sent him a whole bunch of cease and desist letters. My dad just kept on ignoring it.

And eventually the feds came to my house to like investigate and check and take, check all my dad's like paperwork. And they started when I, this is when I was about, uh, I say 12 years old, they started taking a whole bunch of boxes outside of my house. I was home at the time. My dad told me to come downstairs in my pajamas and he gave me, um, one of my dad's hats that, that said like AT&T on it. Um,

And he goes, just say like, why are you taking my dad's stuff? So like we had like a thing that we would do where he would rely on me to like kind of be a little bit of like a, like a backbone and, and, you know, giving these people some like, oh, maybe we shouldn't be doing this. He has like a kid and his kids here.

Anyway, he wound up calling my cousin saying like, I'm in like some deep crap here. Like I don't want to, I don't, I might be going to jail. Like they, like that's a big thing. Like AT&T is a fortune 500 company. He's been posing as them for over five years. He has a whole bunch of different accounts. The money that he made by doing that, by having his pay phones that say AT&T on them, they, they, they all think these companies think that they were hiring AT&T and they

Fast forward like six months, my cousin wound up following up with my dad. Hey, whatever happened with AT&T and the whole thing? And my dad goes, oddly enough, the place where they're hiding and having all the evidence, that room got broken into and is now gone. Yes.

So, and my cousin has said this, he goes, yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I, my cousin goes, I wouldn't put, put it past your dad. I don't know a hundred percent if this is true, but I wouldn't put it past your dad that he got into that evidence room somehow, whether somebody he knows or he was able to break it and was able to get that stuff out of there.

And on top of that, my dad countersued AT&T and won. And won? Yeah. I had to give a deposition saying that they lost autographs. So my dad, God knows how much money he made off of that. Yeah. Because he said that some of that stuff were priceless memorabilia. And we have all these photos. So, you know, this money I never saw.

Again, I don't talk to my dad right now. Maybe I'll start because in case I need some cash. But he did that and I went to a deposition and I was able to fake cry. So it's like I was able to put on a show. So that's the kind of kid that he raised and we got away with it. And it's all part of being my dad's son. I wonder if that's what makes you not say on America's Got Talent, you're getting married.

Like you're not like you're you you look at even though that's the truth and it's happening during this moment. You have this story about your dad that you could have probably said on America's Italian. They would have loved that.

And then also that you're getting married. And so then you don't say, obviously you don't talk about your dad. You don't talk about your dad in your act. That Sports Illustrated thing was like, we're the ones that all knew that story. And we're like always telling you like, why are you, you need to say this story and you don't really ever say it much. Not like you're scared to say it. Right. But it's,

I don't know. It's like you just don't. I don't know why I don't say it. I mean, part of – I think it's so out there of a story of like figuring – It feels too – Yeah, figuring it out of where to go. You can make a movie almost about – Yeah, that would be the goal. I mean, that's what I would want to see is that –

And to, you know, to show that because my dad was, you know, is a unique guy. He's still around. And, you know, he's always up to something. So I haven't talked to him in over 20 years. So, I mean, God knows what he's doing.

Well, Gary, we got a surprise for you. Come on in. Here he is. He's right here. His name's Breakfast. Hello, son. Hello. I think it's interesting that your act on stage is so low energy and so low key. Yeah. You have no act outs, but yet you can cry on cue. You could be the best actor, comedian ever. Yeah, I could turn it on in terms of lying for sure. But I just, you know, it's weird because it's like, it's almost like I did that, you

so much in my life where I was living that, where almost like now it's like time to live in a different way. Well, you're always someone good on the road with, because you're always like, if there's anything that we want to do, like, it's like, hey, dude, we need to like check out. Like Gary's like, oh yeah, I'll do it. Like he'll go talk to anybody and ask anybody anything. Yeah. Anything that is like, hey, you know,

you know, you know, stuff that you, I don't know, like you don't want to ask, but you're like, I wonder if they're let us do this. Yeah. I could find a way for them to make it do it. Yeah. He's always been like that for like, it's just like, yeah, just Gary will do it. Like you don't care about asking anybody anything. Absolutely not. And the other thing I'm good at is if somebody tries to scam me or like, not, not just me, like, you know, my wife or something, I'm like, that's,

that's bull. Like that's not, they're not, they're not being truthful. I mean, when you, you know, when you're talking to somebody and they're telling you a story, it's like, I'm just like this guy. I mean, you're making up so many details. Like I could, you know, it's just, I've been around the best. So I was trained by the best. I mean, to get him to sue AT&T and win. Yeah. It's wild. I mean, it's good. That's unbelievable, dude. Like that's unbelievable. Yeah.

I mean, our thing was, I mean, when we were in Des Moines, we did that theater. And then this woman came up and she goes, by any chance, are you the son of Manny Veeder to me? When we were in the meet and greet line. I was trying to meet you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

After he opens for me, I make him, he goes, I'd love to talk to you. I go, well, there's a line, Gary, and you're welcome to wait in that line and then we can have a conversation afterwards. So, I'm waiting. This is way before COVID. I'm just saying, Nate has a lot of

a line and then I think I just stand behind Nate waiting for a line hopefully the line is going to form by me yeah but no whoever trickles off a Nate line sometimes they want to say you know they want to say hi to you and this woman comes up to me and she goes by any chance are you the son of Manny Veeder and I go what have you heard from him I haven't heard from this guy quite some time and she goes well um

Actually, we were just in Normandy together. Where's Normandy, by the way? France. There you go. Nice. Notre Dame right there. Oh, yeah. That's good. These are most educated. Yeah, that's where you took a lot of classes.

So she was in Normandy with him because my dad was taking, he took, I guess, the World War II vets to Normandy to like fly over and like see it after not being there for whatever, like 75 years. I don't know if that's factual, but around that time. So World War II, they landed in Normandy and it was a big thing. Yeah, it was a pretty big deal.

Normally, some stuff happened there. Some people have more interest in it than others, but go ahead, Gary. So she's, I guess, part of this organization, and my dad is now part of this organization. I mean, my guess is it's some shady stuff going on there. Something. And it also involves a camera, so he's still kind of sticking with, I guess, part of a camera spiel, and he was taking pictures for all these old vets. Do you know where he lives?

He actually, I know he still has our old house, our old house, which is in Long Island. It's yeah, he lives there. And as far as, as much as I know, and maybe, you know, knowing him, he probably has like another house or two somewhere. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's so... And he's never, so he's never gone to jail. Never, you know, hasn't done time. I mean, it's all kind of past the time now. He couldn't really go, right? I mean, like, it's like, is the statues of limitations? Is that what it is? Like, you can't after, I don't know. Is that the way statues... That's what that is. Yeah, yeah. Eventually, you can't prosecute a crime. Statute? Statute.

Statute. Not statues. Not a statue. Yeah. There's a limitation. You're like, oh, this is a beautiful statue. What is that? It's a limitation. Whoa. Yeah. It's Salmon, not Salmon. Yeah.

But I think, you know, I mean, obviously there are other con artists out there, but my dad never got caught. You know, he was able to put me in scams, you know, did it his whole life. And I think part of what made his scam so good was he kept it small enough where he wasn't, he didn't get caught. It's almost like if you keep it small enough, it's not a, and if you did get caught, it's

It's too small of a case for, say, like a district attorney to make a career off of it. So eventually, if you keep pushing the court system, which is something my dad did, he would be able to delay the courts till another district attorney because there's always turnover in those offices. Yeah.

That they wouldn't want to prosecute because it's not big enough. Like he had a furniture company and he would, one of his scams, I mean, this is in the eighties and it's not much of a scam, but he would, this is the simple things that he would do. He just wouldn't send certain people their furniture. You would take a hundred percent of the money and then tell them that, yeah, your furniture was delivered. And back in the eighties, you would have to go through so much,

For if somebody told you that they sent you their furniture and you're like, no, you didn't. Like, how do you even get to the bottom of that? Yeah. You could file a complaint with the Better Bureau. Was it Better Business Bureau? Yeah, that's it. And that's about that going through that headache. You would need so many other people to complain to till you actually even saw a result.

Yeah. And that's the kind of thing that he would do. It's kind of like knowing how difficult it would be to get him caught. If you're able to confidently say, I don't know, man, we delivered it. Yeah. So he's like, can I get my money back? No. Cause how do I know that you're running a scam? It's almost like, I imagine, I think you're, what he was good at is he would turn it on you. Cause you'd be like, how do I know you're not scamming me? And you had this furniture. He's like, why would I do that? You're like, I don't know. Well, why would I do the other thing?

And it makes you, you know, and AT&T is like, why would I sue AT&T? They're the biggest company in the world. Yep. If I did something wrong, I'd have a lot of nerve to be able to sue. They could end my life. They have billions of dollars. Yeah. And everybody's like, everybody's still a person. That's what I always think with everything. Bill Burr had the great joke about that with like, everybody's like a guy, but it's everybody's a person.

even if it's a judge if it's this it's that it's still just a regular person and so why would they not believe what he's telling you totally and he was really good at knowing hey i need to make more money how do i get from this point to that point with making more money well and you know in that case it was not sending them their furniture like obviously as simple as that is just saying like yeah it did so what are you talking about yeah and that's

And then you're just like, okay. You hang up the phone. And then that guy's like, honey, I have no idea what to do now. He said that they sent it. And did they send it? They probably have to go through golf, whatever. I mean, trying to figure that stuff out. Back then, you got to call. You're on hold. And then the furniture store is like, no, we did send. You made the furniture. You're not. Yeah, internet. Even now, it's not fun. That wouldn't be fun to do. Yeah.

Yeah, it'd be tough. Yeah, it's a hassle. It's a hassle. Did you ever hear when that story came out about from the real Sports Illustrated kid? Did he ever reach out to you and say, you ruined my life? No. Well, because they weren't doing, they didn't have an actual kid doing it. The kid that was still trying to get in when you left, that was a real kid, right? No, no, no. It was just, it was two adults. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was two adults. Yeah, I got you. Yeah. But,

But yeah, you know, but that taught me, you know, knowing how to get from point A to point B, it's like, there's always a solution to find, like I would steal exams. I stole a midterm and a final in college exam. I went into, it was very simple. It's just like kind of learning things. And this is what my dad taught me. It's like, this is how our brain worked and kind of how he trained my brain. But, um,

Um, we, there was exams, an exam at 10 AM and an exam at like a 4 PM in this, uh, big lecture hall. And then one thing they would do is they would alphabeticalize the, all the exams and put them out. And my class was at 4 PM. So I would go into the 10 AM class, take a random test right off, like right off the desk. And then I would have about six hours to have somebody complete it.

And then I'd go into the 4 p.m. with all the answers already. And they would just think that, oh, we just screwed up. We didn't put this person's test out there. And I was able to, I stole two tests at the University of Buffalo. Were they good? Did you get good grades?

Yeah. I mean, eventually I wound up switching majors and everything, but yeah, I got good grades. Yeah. I knew the answers. Yeah. You knew that. Oh, so you filled your own test out just knowing that. But I mean, I had somebody else cause I couldn't, I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, what if you steal it from a guy that's also like, no dude, I stole that one.

And then y'all are just both like dumb guys. But it wasn't there in high school. I still test too. I mean, cheating off of exams. A lot of, you know, I'll give you one that was even, I was in, I went to a private school. I went to three different high schools, but I mean, a lot of problems in my family. But one of the schools I went to was a private school and this teacher,

His name was Dean Sharpteer. He's an English teacher. He was giving me bad grades like throughout class. And granted, I'm not the best at English. I probably used some words that didn't even make sense today. I'd say, welcome home. Yeah, I know. It feels good. But I

went to like extra help and everything and, and my grades never improved and never got above a C and we're going into the fourth quarter. And I'm like, this guy is giving better grades to girls than he is guys. And I had this whole like petition and I was able to get something like 125 kids signed it. And I went to his boss, the Dean of students, uh, Dean of faculty to, uh, be like, Hey, all these kids signed it. This guy's obviously grading people unfair. And

And that guy goes, you know, it's like, I'll look, I'll look into it. Like, and next thing I know that teacher comes to my dorm room. Cause you lived on, on like campus. It was a private prep school. And he comes to my dorm room and tells me how sad he is that I did that kind of like confronted me about it. Yeah. We have one final test left.

I just plagiarize the crap out of it because I know I just put this guy through hell. He can't now say to me that I, that I'm, I'm the one who's plagiarizing. I just made a whole big thing. He can't complain to anybody. He can't get me kicked out. Yeah. I wound up getting like, you know, an eight plus on not only that, but for the, for the quarter, it's like I called his bluff. He wrote on the exam. Are you sure these are your own words? Yeah. I gave me an eight plus. Yeah.

because I had him in a corner and that's what kind of stuff my dad taught me. This is going to be like a usual suspect. We're going to find out you're actually your father. All the stuff that you've done, you're like, are you sure you weren't the one? How old are you really? Yeah, I mean, I sold drugs in college too. I mean, it's just like things I got away with because I...

I knew, like, I don't, you know, I mean, I had hair in college, thank God. But it was, I wasn't suspected of doing that stuff. I'm a small guy, you know, innocent, you know, in a way looking. So I was able to get away with things. And I left college with like 25 grand and paid for everything. My parents, like my mom, she didn't have to pay like any money for a bunch of stuff.

That's crazy. Aaron was given plasma in college just to eat. Yeah. Like, what are you going to class? Like a loser? Like a regular loser? Still a test. What's funny is like the experience of that is there's an argument to make like what you learned in college is like some people would already like, that's a real life experience of, you know, you know, and it's so crazy. Like when you're dead, like, so if you, if you got,

I would think even though like my fear of if I got in trouble as a kid was my parents, they would be very disappointed in me, which I think everybody's kind of fear was. But you, that fear is gone when your dad's going to be actually proud of you and be like, if you went to him and got caught, he'd be like, well, how'd you get caught? And it would, you would probably just have a conversation with him about what you did wrong to get caught. Absolutely.

Which is a pretty big thing to like, if you're a kid and you don't have the fear of your parents being mad at you, that you can go do a lot of stuff because you're not, you're not really nervous about it. Especially when they help you in that. What was your mom thinking through all this?

I mean, she was married to a guy. She was, you know, she was already dealing with her own stuff. Yeah. But, you know, he was lying. He'd be gone for, you know, two, three weeks at a time, you know, at points when we were all living together. And so, you know, she was kind of like, this is, wanted to probably, I mean, they're divorced now, but like, she definitely wanted to get out of that marriage and she was just dealing with her own stuff. And she was a stay-at-home mom. So she kind of had to live by everything that he was doing. Yeah.

And I'm sure she definitely has regrets in terms of like, oh, she should have stepped in. But she was kind of a pigeonhole to living that life because she didn't have a job and he was the provider. Yeah. And I mean, he's coming home with...

maybe no money to $30,000. Like, you don't know. Like, it's all up and down. Yeah, and if he does, it's like she has to be on board with whatever, you know, whatever lie it is. Carmelo Soprano. Yeah. And, you know, speaking about, like, you know, being able to get away with stuff because my dad was that guy. Yeah, like, you know, if I had a project due in school and I didn't do it, I'd tell my dad and he'd pick me up early so I'd have, you know, more time to do it. It wasn't anything like...

Hey, you know, you didn't do it. Now you have to, you know, deal with the consequences. He taught me like you could get out of stuff and, you know, it was like working the system. Well, I mean, it's a different form of education, to be honest, like in a, in a really, it's just being like, you don't have to do all this stuff.

So let's do another, let's figure out another way. You know, I mean, you know, in a way there could be someone listening to this podcast. You're like, wish I had that kind of bond with my dad. Like, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, you know, Bates said he's like, you know, what made you stop doing the sports illustrated thing? But, you know, part of the reason, you know, why you eventually stop is you're like, yeah, I just don't want to live that way. I need to get over this and see if, if my dad put that much energy into,

into something else, he would have succeeded. It's like, that's a smart person. So that's what, that was probably the biggest lesson where you're like, oh, if I wanted to do, you know, it was comedy, you know? So I'm like, if I put as much work as my dad did into those scams, if I do that into comedy, I could get, you know, to a decent place in comedy, a place where I could have a career and not have a regular job. That's what I wanted. Yeah. You almost had inside,

park home run off a walk just due to confidence. Just confidence. Yeah. That was blind confidence. I don't know I have that confidence, but confidence is everything. If you're confident, you can get... I mean, I say it in the joke, you can get away with whatever you want because...

You know, no one knows to question it. No one knows. You can't believe something's happening to you. That's almost like where you're dead. Like if you think you're like, well, they're going to know you're scamming them. They can't, they would never believe that they could be scammed. So if you're confidently scamming them, they're like, well, you're not doing it to me, dude. I know I can't be scammed.

Well, that's probably the easiest person to scam is someone that thinks that. Yeah. I mean, a lot of people don't think that people lie. Most people are trustworthy. So it's, yeah, I mean, they think that people lie, but it's not like a major lie. They don't think that they're going to face it that day. If you're getting caught off guard is basically what happens. I mean, the only time people know that they're getting scammed, you get a cold call from a number and that's not even necessarily a scam.

It's, hey, can I talk to you for a minute? And you don't know the number. You're like, all right, that seems like a scam. I'm not going to talk to you. You hang up the phone. So that's when you're on guard. So if you get somebody out of their element, not just asking for money, you could figure out a way to get something out of them. It's much harder in person, too. And your dad seems to be doing this in person.

And so it's like on the phone is like easy to hang up. But a lot of stuff your dad was doing was he's looking you in the eyes. Yeah. And these people are at their job. Yeah. So what are they going to, you know, what are they going to say? It's like it's much harder to say no to a guy that's staring at you. Yeah. And they also, yeah, if you say no and then they would probably think like, oh, there could be consequences with this. Like if I say no and he is this person, then I'm dealing with that now. Yeah. Yeah.

I just want to give it to David WR99, the guy from Rogan. How do you think about this one, buddy? Is this not enough for you? Some meat on the bone this time. I mean, it's crazy that I didn't know. We knew about your dad with that, but I don't think I've really talked to you about all the other stuff. The big backstories, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you definitely need to.

write a movie or you know i mean it's crazy it's all this stuff i didn't even know until i did research on this that con man con is just short for confidence man because that's no wow are you lying yeah that's yeah that's that's because i don't know yeah he's not being confident even that's yeah i don't know that yeah i thought you're being sarcastic oh no i have no idea that's short for confidence man all right

All right. What are some famous con men? Most of these are just financial. But the good thing about yours is no one really got hurt. There were no victims. Yeah, just my family. Hasn't talked to his dad in 20 years. Divorced, you know. But yeah. His kid doesn't have a grandparent. Go ahead, Brian. They were fun. It was a fun time. I doubt Michael Jordan feels too bad about it. Most famous con man, Charles Ponzi.

I mean, with a name like that. Yeah, he started it all, Ponzi scheme. Ponzi scheme. Which I, you guys. Still foul today.

It's a big thing. You know, Ponzi scheme is just the classic one. It's like the rule of three for comedy almost. Yeah, it's a Ponzi scheme. So I didn't know the difference between a Ponzi scheme and a pyramid scheme. And they're very similar, but pyramid scheme, you just got to get the people below you to start getting more investors. And Ponzi scheme, you got to get all the investors. Ponzi, do you probably feel better because you're going after richer people? Yeah.

Not necessarily. Oh, yeah. Maybe. Bernie Madoff, he was the one that... He was Ponzi scheme. Yeah. So everybody's giving him money, and then he's, if someone wants to leave with money, he gives them that other guy's money. He gets newer investors' money and gives it to those people. Yeah. Stuff like that. Yeah, Bernie Madoff showed huge returns on what he was doing, which is always suspicious when you're investing money. So if you're getting crazy returns...

How is this the guy that knows the market better than anybody? And these really wealthy people thought that he was legit because he had other wealthy people doing it. And that's what it is. It's kind of like who you know. So in his case, it was my dad showing pictures that we were at the garden before to different security guards, them being acquainted with different billionaires. It all made sense. It's just the story added up.

And that's kind of, I feel like, how he was able to get away with it and didn't tell a soul, didn't even tell his own kids. Yeah. Bernie Madoff. Which was the way to do it. It was true conman. Yep. Like just, yeah, keeping it that tight of a secret. That's what happened with his kids was, that's why I got so bad, because no one could believe that they didn't know and they weren't in on it. And you're like, no, I mean, they weren't. That's how he got as long as he did.

How did they even end up catching him? His kid questioned him about it late, and one of his kids exposed him to it, from what I believe. Bernie? Yeah. Yeah, I think once the financial crisis of 2008 happened, it just... Everybody wanted their money. Everybody wanted their money, and he couldn't do it. He wasn't getting new investors at that time, and he just ran out of money, and so everybody found out about it.

um frank agnell jr that's a popular one catch me if you can great movie pilot a lawyer a doctor faked his way through all that stuff that's your dad yeah and the way he was i mean he did it back in the uh i guess i was like 50s 60s and he did it as a kid so kids are believable so yeah you know in a way and and i mean i know it as dicaprio so i don't know what he looked like as a kid but uh

Gorgeous, man. You look like you. You're a young, strapping young man. Did everybody believe you? Yeah, you could get away with stuff. So him being 19 or whatever when he started, and I read about Frank Abagnale, and part of the reason why, and this is what's crazy about my dad, and he goes along with Bernie Madoff too, is he

you don't think about the consequences and a kid who's doing scams. You don't think about the consequences. Think about how much daring we were more as kids and what we're, you know, the kind of life that we were leading. Yeah.

Because you don't care about things happening. And I think the great con man also, besides being confident, is like you don't care about what – you don't even think about it. You're just like, I'm just going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to get away with it. And that's it. And that's why he was able to, I think, pull off being the lawyer, the doctor, and all that stuff. Were you trying to –

You looking, being a kid, versus if you came up to me now, I'd be like, this guy's a conman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I got a shaved head. Now, I mean, honestly, I don't know if I believe even anything that you said today. You're like, do they even have a phone number? What do y'all think the highest level of profession you could masquerade as is? Like as a conman? I think you have trouble selling that. They're...

You think you could show up in court one day and be a lawyer and pull it off, you think? No. So I think comedians are – I think we're good talkers. And I do think we – and especially the longer you do this, you talk a lot. I mean, I don't need a lawyer, obviously. I'd probably – it's one of the big words you'd probably give me.

I think I could talk my way. If I'm back against the wall, I have to do it. I could talk. I could maybe make up some. I don't know what I would really. You need to have knowledge on that stuff. If you don't have the knowledge, you have to know what you're talking about to be that line. I think it would be like finance, getting people to invest. You don't really have to act much. Like, hey, I know how to do E-Trade.

And, you know, if you could put a bunch of money into an account, throw a few dollars in and then get people to keep on investing, I think that's like the easiest thing. Even small people. It doesn't have to be millionaires. It could be people who make, you know, whatever, you know, $50,000 a year. Yeah. So it's not like I could be like, I think I could be a police officer or something like that. But I think I have the tools to talk.

And so like, if you give me the time to go like, yeah, to be very convincing, I think I could be very convincing. I think I could, if I really believed it, I think I could convince you. CNBC, CNBC.

I feel like I'm missing a letter. Is that all of them? No. Let's say they called you tomorrow and they're like, we're going to bring you on the program as a financial expert. And you have like a day to get that character together. You think you could pull it off convincingly? If I knew enough about it, if I had the desire, what I've learned is like, if I don't have a desire to do something, I kind of don't do it. Yeah.

And I won't go all in on it. But if I had the desire to do it, could I go on and do it? I can be a talker. I've learned to... Being in New York for a long time, I learned how to like... I can talk enough to... With an audience. I can talk on... To stay on top of you. The audience is...

When you're on stage and the audience feels like you might lose them a little bit and you start talking a little bit more to try to keep their attention more focused on you because you can feel they're starting to get drunk and wander and you'll be like, hey, remember that? You kind of stay on them. Yeah. I mean, that's something you know how to do. And I think if you do something like that, all it is is the whole conversation is that. The whole conversation is I'm not trying to let you ask me something. I'm not trying to let you get a word in because if you get a word in, then you could –

you know, you could shoot through my whole thing. Yeah. So if I just kind of keep going, no, that's why we did that. We did, you know, it's like you're investing. I promise like this dude, this guy, I've never met a guy like this. I never liked the, can you believe this guy? Like I was lucky to even get to meet him, you know? Yeah. I know a guy invest, you want to invest with like, you're like, this guy's the greatest dude ever dude. Like,

You start saying these kind of weird things, like you said, like stuff that they can't question. Well, I mean, I'll say this. I mean, even though I feel like I could be a manager or an agent in comedy. I mean, it's the easiest. I mean, to me, not every manager or agent is bad, but definitely at certain levels when you're first starting, you're not – I wasn't meeting the best ones. Yeah.

these people, you're just taking somebody's word for it. So it's like, they're able to kind of be like, oh, I could get you stuff and do, you know, do things for you. All these are, yeah, you're hoping that they're telling the truth, but a lot of times they didn't, you know, come to fruition probably because of my abilities, but more so than anything, but yeah, they, you know, they kind of talk the big game and that's, that's something that, uh, I guess, you know, maybe they think they could, but you know, you're, you're kind of at their, their like, uh,

I don't know what's the word, but either way, you're kind of at their... At their mercy. That's the word. That's the word, yeah. That's how he brings you into the scam is he lets you go mercy and now you're a part of it. You're like, that's a word, good word. That's funny. A lot of people do that. Yeah. Yeah. Like do that, like kind of pull you into it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I knew comics that were

I think we're going to be better agents or managers or producers than they would be. We talked about Soljo a lot on this. Soljo was so good at running shows and setting these shows up and getting these shows going. And he's now created into, I mean, he's not a scam. He's doing legit shows. But like someone that's like, they get better at like that kind of aspect to it where they just know how to like, they know they understand the business side better.

I don't remember if he did comedy. Maybe at the beginning. I don't know if he did. But he was so good at...

at creating shows and like producing and like you know and just knowing how to like do this and he did it all the right way i mean you know yeah guys are some guys are just better at that aspect of it than they are this aspect yeah and it comes down just to like selling but yeah as far as the selling yeah the managers and the uh agents say you're hoping that they're telling you the truth and i i think that would probably be something that i would be able to do and you know but

But hopefully bring it, you know, the best thing is be honest and be good at what you're doing, of course. But yeah, if I wanted to be, the easiest thing to do is scam comics. When you really think about it, they're trusting you and everything. Anybody chasing a dream would be very easy to scam. Absolutely. Anybody chasing a dream, anybody who has hope, because comics also...

We're so bad with money that you trust somebody like, oh yeah, I'll get you this deal. And you realize, you know, you could realize, you know, five years later that they've been screwing you over. Big thing that was a story with Gary Shandling, Brad Gray was not only taking a manager fee, but he was an executive producer fee on, I think it was the Gary Shandling show. So it was like double dipping. You're not supposed to do that. If you're, so like any of the shows that I've done or my managers were going to be producers on the show, that means I don't have to pay them a commission.

So that's the deal. They get to be producers. I don't pay them a commission versus he's, he's being a manager and, and then, so he's taken 10 to 20%

And extra. And he did that whole show, yeah. Yeah, and that's not a crazy scam. However, you put somebody in charge of your money and they see like, I could just do that. And then there you go. It's as simple as that. It's not like he was poor. No. He's making enough money anyway. You're like, but he should be making more. Yeah, and they were friends. But it's like he knows that in these cases, people who aren't paying attention to their money, that I could take advantage of this person. We used to do shows, I remember-

when you first started with Charter Talent or I think it was Charter. No, I don't want to throw these names in like these are the bad. Charter Talent is like a good thing now. But like it was like these get these emails. It was like a bad version of like the good ones now. But they would do stuff where you would get a check. Like you'd go do a show, you know, say 200 bucks online.

And you would do a show at a club. And then the guy would be like, all right, they're going to give you a check for 500. Send me the 300 and you keep the 200. And so then you would have to go send the guy that booked it. And on top of that, he was, which is already crazy to be, you're like, why don't you take the money before? Like, why do I get it? And then I got to send you this money. But then they were also getting their deposit before that. So like a lot of guys got caught.

you know that guy kind of i'm sure there's still bad guys out there but overall back then a lot of them got flushed out because they were doing that kind of stuff like in comics we just do it because you were working you didn't know you're like all right i got a hundred dollars i gotta send him this yep and you and he would give you a lot of work if you kept sending those checks you'd be like well i'm working a lot so you're not gonna really you don't want to mess it up because you think i can't lose this yeah they're like nate you didn't even perform last weekend like just take it just take it do you remember uh danny almonte

Yep. Little League. Yeah. So that was, I mean, he was pretending, I mean, it was dad that was going to do it, but he pretended to be two years younger than he really was. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. It was a big deal. Little League World Series. Little League World Series. They're from the Bronx. Yeah. Yeah. Throwing heat. Throwing heat. 76 miles an hour, which from the pitcher's amount in Little League, that'd be equivalent to 102 miles per hour. So he was throwing heat.

through a perfect game, Little League World Series. He claimed he was 12. Then people started investigating, found out he was actually 14 and they had to forge all their games. They,

They won it all. Now, they'd finished third. It's crazy they don't win. You do that and not win is what's crazy. Yeah, because you can't pitch every game. Right. You have a pitch limit. That was a problem. Yeah. And he wasn't the only team. There was another back in – I mean, I used to follow Little League World Series all the time. There's a team from Taiwan that – Well, sports was for kids. You had to. I know. Long Beach –

uh they won back-to-back years and they played i think it was taiwan and taiwan had players that were like 13 or 14 but um don't check this fact yeah just trying to make conversation no but they uh yeah long beach beat them and uh no the long beach uh lost to them but they got like murdered and uh taiwan it turned out that they had like players that weren't even eligible yeah yeah

Here's another fun one. James Hogue. This is what you may have done if comedy hadn't worked out. He went to the University of Texas, but quickly dropped out. Then he went to a community college, dropped out. Now he's 25 years old, so he stole the identity of a deceased child and enrolled as a student at Palo Alto High School under a different name. He was 25. He would pretend to be a 16-year-old orphan from Nevada.

He started running cross country and was dominating. And he got so far ahead field. He won the race, but he never would report the official score table, which aroused suspicion. And they started doing investigation sports reporter, the mystery boy. They finally figured out that he was fake. So then he just left town, got out of town.

So then he enrolled at Princeton University, told him he was a self-taught orphan from Utah who grew up in the outdoors of the Grand Canyon raising sheep and reading philosophy books. And he got in at Princeton. They gave him financial aid to help him out. They were so excited to have him. And he got into all the big Ivy League clubs there. He was also on the track team.

And then finally a student from that high school, Palo Alto high school recognized him on campus and called the same reporter who did the first story. And the guy exposed him again. Wow. And then he got, when was this? This was in the early nineties. He just could, I wonder what that guy's up to now. What's his name? Uh, James Hogue. Uh, you could, you could get away with something like internet just ruined a lot. Yeah. Cause the internet, you know, uh,

I mean, you Google someone's name. Yeah. I like how you say it ruined it. God, you just cannot get away with anything. You can't get you in. You can't. You're a scam artist. I mean, now there's way more scam artists, but it's like a business now. I feel like now it's quantity over...

What is it? No, quantity over quality. It's like we're going to just send 4,000 emails out. If eight of them work out, then we've made money. And then who cares? We just do that. Versus back then, your scam artist, there was art. I mean, artists, there's art to it. I mean, that's what they're trying to come up with. Yeah, it's kind of interesting, man.

Here's this guy in Senegal who wanted to play professional soccer, so he got his buddy to call the owner of the Southampton team. Where's Southampton? Do you know that? No, I don't. Anyway, his buddy called him and said that he was one of the greatest soccer players ever, and I wish you would sign my cousin to play on the team, and they fell for it. And the guy joined the team. He played one game. They said he could barely even run, and they cut him. They realized it was a scam. Wow. Yeah.

You guys, have you seen the movie I Love You, Philip Morris? No. No. Jim Carrey played this guy, Stephen J. Russell. He pretended like he was a millionaire from Virginia and tried to get a $75,000 loan in a bank in Dallas, but they figured out something was up, so they arrested him. But then he faked a heart attack, so they took him to the hospital. And then once he got there, they were guarding him.

But he pretended like he was an FBI agent and called the hospital for his cell phone in the hospital room and said, he's good to go. He can be released. And they let him go. They catch him again or?

Yeah. They come again. Faking a heart attack is awesome. Yeah. I can see Jim Carrey doing that. It's old school. You ever see the King of Queens episode where he goes to a dinner party at his wife's work and he can't remember somebody's name. Yeah. So he fakes a heart attack just to get out of it. It's extreme. This guy, Richard Minsky, would cold call women and say,

He would whisper so low that they couldn't hear him. And then finally they'd be like, Tommy, is that you? And he's like, and then he'd be like, now he's got a name. Yeah. And then he would put someone else on the line, also him, and say, I'm Tommy's lawyer. He was just involved in a hit and run accident. And this guy, he's going to be sentenced to two years in prison. But the victim says, if you show up at this hotel with either money or sex, you choose, that he'll let you off the hook. And then this guy would go and do it. Wow, man.

Yeah. I mean, like that's gotta be when you get that call, like to be like, those are your ops and you're like, you think the government's involved in this? Yeah. You know, I guess so. I mean, that's, you know, it's tough. There was a case here. And they're like, I mean, I had a friend that just did this. They just went, this just happened to my friend. Like if you, that one, you want to do to other, you want to do it to like other people in that group. Yeah. So they could be like, I feel like this is a scam. You're like, I, I,

It just happened to Debra. Yeah. She had to go. No, it's real. Trust me. You got to do one of those things. It's very real. Your choice. There was a case here in Nashville, a guy, they called him Fantasy Man, and he would just call women out of the phone book, the good old days when we had phone books, and he would pretend like he was her boyfriend. And then he would say, let's do this fantasy. Meet me at this hotel and wear a blindfold.

And he was hooking up with chicks because they thought it was his boyfriend. And then he eventually got caught and got charged with, I guess, rape. But his argument was they left the door open. It was consensual. I mean, his argument was these women knew I wasn't who they were. We just had to hook up. Yeah, yeah. They just wanted to do it. I mean, just to call – you always think who could these people be that would –

But I mean, I would say like, I don't know. It's like you get caught on the wrong, right day or you're not paying attention. You're not paying attention. You're not aware of what's going on. I mean, that seems insane to actually go there and get that far. But there has to be something in there where they want to do it in a way, you know? Well, the biggest scams now, it's like, you know, you get...

forget the emails, the calls that you could get from somebody. And a lot of times they're going after the elderly. You just won, you know, a hundred thousand dollars, but the only way you could get that a hundred thousand dollars, if you send like a $500 deposit, so I could release the funds. So that's how they'll get the money where they think they're going to be getting that a hundred thousand dollars after they send like a 500. So they, and they're asking for money. You should never obviously send money because you won money. That would make no sense. But

People are so thrown off by hearing that they won. If you get the right person, they're going to be sending you that money. And they obviously don't have it. So, yeah, you're able to get away with that. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people that are not, you know...

quick. There's a lot of people that are not... I don't know. They're not online. They're not watching all these movies and seeing all these... I feel like culture, as far as movies and stuff, makes you end up getting to be more aware of scams. I mean, listen to this podcast here and you talk about your dad. Someone could then be like, no, I...

I've listened to someone talk about someone being a scammer. That's in their mind. And then there's other people that are like, I don't know. I don't talk to really anybody. I go to the store. I come home. I watch my this. I watch that. And then they get a phone call. It seems so crazy. How are you calling me? Yeah, my mom's the opposite. She watches so much local news, and there's always some scam on there. She thinks everything's a scam, even if it's not. So if we're at a restaurant, she won't pay with a credit card. She's like, I'm not letting them...

Leave with my credit card. I'll pay in cash. That's a scam. My mom thinks everything's a scam. She's the opposite. It's the way to be, though. Yeah. David Hampton convinced New Yorkers that he was the son of Sidney Poitnier and got a lot of benefits getting clubs and stuff like that.

Will Smith played him in the movie Six Degrees of Separation. That's what that's about? Yeah. I had no idea. I can make a movie then. Yeah. If that's the story. Well, that's not what Six Degrees of Separation means. Six Degrees means we're all... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, he played a scam artist? Yeah. That's what I mean. I didn't know he was about a scam artist. Yep, yep. It's a woman in here just to be, you know. Yeah.

This is a very recent one. In fact, it hasn't even gone to trial yet. Elizabeth Holmes, she dropped out of Stanford and she started a company called Theranos. And she claimed she had a machine that could test your blood on the spot and determine any type of illness you had. And it was going to change the medical world. And they were calling her the new Steve Jobs. They thought she was the new darling star, but it was all fake. She faked test results, all this stuff.

to do it. And she finally got convicted. She was worth $4.5 billion. Wow. Now she's worth zero. Billion? Billion. Wow. That's how big, because everybody wanted to invest in this company. They thought this is the new big Silicon Valley thing. I feel like you think you start that with her and you're just kind of like hoping that, you know, it's like kind of goofy and then it becomes real. Yeah. You can't stop. Well, and that's even to show you that everybody wants to fall for that. I mean, there's this girl, she's 37. She's a pretty girl.

And if she's... Fortune named her one of the world's most disappointing leaders. That's just so funny that they have that list. Yeah, they made that list. Well, you want to be like, it's not a leader. She made up a company. Disappointing leaders, I would think they actually had an idea. That seems like it's made up out of nothing. I mean, I think her company was real, but it was based on this fake product that didn't...

Didn't go anywhere. She's married now and her trial was just delayed because she's due to, she's pregnant. She's due in July. So they just pushed her trial. That was planned. Yeah. It's a good scam. Yeah, keep having kids. Yep. She has 50 kids. Never been able to get a trial. Yeah.

Jordan Belfort, we probably know that. Wolf of Wall Street, we know that. This guy, back in the day, people would fall for anything. Victor Lustig had a box, a money box, and he'd show people, put $100 in, and then it would spit out two $100 bill. He said the box just can make money. And it was counterfeit, of course. One of them was real, but then the second one that would come out back, and people bought it for $10,000, this box that just makes money.

That's all I want. When was that? This was in the 1920s. Wow. He sold the Eiffel Tower to a scrapyard company. He told them that he was with the government and that the Eiffel Tower is just not feasible now financially. So if you want this scrap metal, I'll sell it to you. He sold it twice, two different companies. That's unbelievable. I mean, that, yeah. I mean, at that time, you'd be like, wow.

Wow, dude, we're going to buy the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, there's just no way of checking anything. A different guy sold the Brooklyn Bridge and told people, you can set up toll booths here now that you own it and make a killing off of it. Isn't there a saying about selling the bridge or something? I thought there was a saying, and I wonder if it came from that. You've seen these services where you can buy a star? Yeah. That's how I feel. Why is that allowed?

i don't know i own five of them so it's the real deal do you know what i'm talking about you can name it yeah it's just like yeah i'll call it that but is anybody else gonna call it that well maybe it's like well i mean how do you even own it but it's maybe in the registry like they're saying like i bought you that star that's your star and it's yeah it's definitely made up but hopefully you would hope that like maybe that star is like that one's already taken yeah i don't know how much are they

I mean, they. Interesting. I'll look it up. But yeah, like it could be who's selling these stars. Anybody asking you for money has to raise like some suspicion. Just in general. I think that's the best way to go about it. Yeah. What do you need this for? Yeah. If they're telling you that they could help you, it's like you got to think like what's in it for them. Yeah. And I think that's like the best way to figure out if they're scamming you or not. Like every deal should always benefit both people. Yeah. Yeah.

There was a guy who convinced a worker at the Louvre to steal the Mona Lisa. This is back in the night. He put it under his coat and walked out with it.

And then he never contacted that guy again. He just sold six fake Mona Lisas and people believed it because they knew it was missing. So his whole scam was, I don't even want the real thing. That just brings heat to me. Just you steal it for me and then I'll sell these six fake ones and people will believe it's real. And then they got it back. It was gone forever, right? No, they finally found it. The guy who stole it, they found it on him, but the guy who talked him into doing it

They never found that guy. And that guy was, that's, you know, that's what's crazy is that guy's the real deal. Yeah. He's like, yeah, you don't be the one that walks out with the thing. They're never going to look for me. Smart. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, it's $20 to $100 to name a star, which I guess makes sense. We have a lot of them.

Like billions. But it is like, so who's nameastarlive.com? I mean, like who has the rights to this? I mean, who's like, what if this company goes under? Then you're like, now the stars are all, look, is naming a star legit?

You can't buy one through NASA. The answer is yes and no. Names of astronomical objects are agreed upon by the International Astronomical Union, whatever that is. Most stars, especially dim ones, are only given coordinates and a designation in a catalog. Dim ones. There are millions and millions of stars out there with a long string of numbers and letters for a name. I mean, it's basically yes and no. It's like, no, it is legit, but it's just...

A guy came up with that. He's like, I'm the reason you named stars. And you're like, none of that matters. Yeah. It just doesn't mean it's, it's 20, you're paying 20 bucks to,

To just have a nice moment with, to have a nice moment with the, with the person is what you're, is what you're getting. That's our star. That's our star. And then I named it after, cause I mean, you, that, you know, I ran up to him in a hurry in six years and I go, don't worry. Your story is right now. They're going to be like, Oh, I don't even, I don't think I have one. Then they'd be like, no way. We did buy a star. Where is that star? And then they would look like, it doesn't mean anything. Well,

I don't know if this is a scam, but I do feel it is. And I heard recently, so like you could buy sports cards, like, you know, like a rookie card, Tom Brady's rookie card, but like invest in it. So if it sells for more money, you get that money. So it's like, it's a group of people. So it's like, I'm going to put, you know, uh,

thousand dollars on this card so i don't know if that's a new scam but it seems like people are doing it they're investing in in baseball or like sports cards just so if they sell for more but if they it takes a while for a card to sell it's a whole process well the tweet thing what's the tweet oh that's another one i don't understand this yeah i i don't really understand it it's like you're buying a tweet and you own that tweet like you know

like Elon Musk has some, or you could have had. I didn't even have that. Non-fungible tokens? Yeah, something like that. So you own that tweet, like what's a famous, you know, the tweet. The first tweet ever. The first tweet ever. Is worth money. Yes. And you're like, I own that tweet, even though anybody can look it up online, but they own it. People can still use it. It's very weird. And people are selling them for, I mean, 500 grand. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.

It's all kind of made it like, it's almost like we're like, I think we've got too much stuff and we're all just trying to like rip each other off. It's like, who's ever going to fall for that? It's one big Ponzi scheme. Everything's a big Ponzi scheme. And you're just hoping you don't get caught with like holding the, you know, the bag when it's all over. Yeah. You always heard those cases of GoFundMes where people would just say, Hey guys,

That's a classic GoFundMe is a big scam. GoFundMe is huge. People asking for money online, Instagram. Oh, my dog is sick and needs money for surgery. Just random people. And people give money that don't even know that person. They just follow their dog's account or something or post a GoFundMe. Here's the link. They just do it. There was a lot of psychics on here, a lot of televangelists. But to me, that's not a scam per se if –

I mean, maybe it's a scam, but if you say, give me $500 so you can be in the 700 Club or whatever, people think that's just stealing money. But I think those people believe it's worth it to them. Yeah. It's not like they're lying to you. This is maybe not the best investment. I don't know. What if there's like, I'm going to talk to your dead dad?

well the psychic yes Sylvia Brown was on here she was the most famous psychic that would go on Montel and do that yeah I mean so baby your dad could fit on all these yeah it'd be a matter about how you wrote it out to be like that a guy that McMillions you saw that documentary right yeah yeah that was a crazy yeah that would be your dad totally oh yeah he'd be involved in that somehow just like yeah

Now, but the thing is, you know, he, he ran it by himself, so he wouldn't want to be involved with like, that was a, that was an operation kind of. So we were involved, right. It didn't involve. Well, it's the idea of more people involved. Yeah. Problems. Exactly. Let me do one more. Yeah. Do one more. Titanic Thompson. He was the golf scammer. He would, a golf hustler. He once bet a guy could drive a golf ball 500 yards using a hickory shaft club and

And the guy took him on the bet, and then he waited until winter and drove the ball in a frozen lake. It's kind of like 10 Cup. Yeah, I'm sure that's where the 10 Cup story came from. I bet it is. But he would do this hustle game where he did pool everything, and he started hanging out with professional golfers. He made $30,000 a year hustling back in the 1930s.

And he would hustle these country club guys and he would, he would beat them right-handed. And then he's like, all right, I tell you what, you want to do double or nothing. I'll play this round left-handed.

And he would beat him again because he's really a left-handed golfer. Yeah. He just wouldn't tell him that. So he was the top. Pool player or golfer? Golfer, but he also did pool. He did stuff with Minnesota Fats. Yeah. Ben Hogan called him the greatest shot maker ever. Minnesota Fats buried here, Hermitage, Tennessee. Oh, yeah? Yep. I forget why, really, but my dad, we went to his grave site.

when we were kids. I don't know why we did that. Yeah, we talked about that on the sports episode. I think his girlfriend or something, or he retired here or something. Yeah. Yeah. In Hermitage. Yeah. And he grew up at the church, right? He used to go to church. Kind of crazy. Like right there, Minnesota Fats, like such a famous name. Yeah. And just, you're like, yeah, right there. Yeah. All right. All right. That was fun. I've learned, I didn't know, I didn't know all the extreme of all this stuff. That's crazy. That's wild. Thank you guys. You got a lot of problems, Gary. Uh,

You should go back to therapy. A therapist, I think, would be like, whew. I'm going through my phone to make sure I still have his number. I got to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, everybody. As always, thank you guys very much. Gary Veeder, check everything out he does.

on, you know, your web, do you have a website? Yeah. Garybeater.com. Donate there. He's got money. Garybeater.com. Uh, the Nate Landline podcast sold out. Y'all have any dates coming up or, uh, breakfast in the gal tour. Breakfast in the gal tour. Coming out. Do you have anything? April 7th. I'm doing a show in Lexington. If we have some fans in Lexington, Kentucky. I think we don't there, but, uh,

Yeah, if we do, go out and check out Aaron Weber, like the grill Weber. Thank you guys, as always. Thanks for watching the special. Always means a lot, truly. See you next week. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment.

Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Mara, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation's consulting and partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.