#38 Alabama ft. Dusty Slay
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Hello folks, welcome to Nate Land. Glad to have you, uh, as always, uh,

This is a big week. So this will tomorrow, when this comes out Wednesday, tomorrow, my new special, The Greatest Average American on Netflix comes out on March 18th. So this week, exciting week. Pretty nervous about it, but we'll see. Are you going to watch it somewhere with people? I think I am...

here no i think no one can do it like it's spring break yeah and so everybody's kind of gone as far as like having a big watch party uh maybe that's what they told you when they're watching the justice league yeah yeah oh yeah we're gonna be out of town yeah i heard about all the justice league brian bachner uh yeah uh texted me and told me about like why they had to move it's all kind of sad like yeah uh

There's a comment on here too about it. Okay. And then, but yeah, so it comes out this week. Yeah. As always, you're always nervous about them because you're like, I don't know, dude, maybe it's terrible. You know? No, I mean, every night it's always rough cut. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was great. Yeah. Awesome, man. And it's just never, you're just like ready for, you know, by the time you tape it, you know, we taped it in October to now, it's just, you always feel like this. You always feel, I don't know.

The Tennessee Kid, I felt very, very good about. But I was in theaters. I was leading up to it. I knew it was going to be good. Stand-ups did not feel good about. Oh. So the stand-up season one. Well, that ended up doing great. It ended up doing great. But I truly feel like... So Full Time Magic was... I think I remember feeling good about that one. That was the first one. I was just very excited about the first one. The stand-ups...

the half hour season one, I was like, oh, that was awful. It was like, you know, just, I was like, this is going to be brutal. I don't know what's going to happen. All that stuff. And then, yeah, we did great. Tennessee kid, it felt good about. It felt, you know, it was like the lead up to it was, it's almost like when they, like standups was a half hour. So then you kind of feel nervous about that. And, uh,

And then the Tennessee kid, I felt, I was like, all right, this one will be good. It was destroying on the road. And then the greatest average American –

Which is my favorite title of all the specials. But it's the one that you're back to nervous. I'm like back to nervous again. You're like, I don't know, dude, maybe it's terrible. Just because the setup, I mean, it was just such a weird thing. It's the weirdest run up to it, right? The weirdest run up to it. Drive-thrus and COVID and everything else. Yeah, never really got to, you know, I mean, I was on the road with it. I knew, I know the material does good.

But it's, you know, it's like, would have, you know, could I got a better, could I done this, you know, all the things leading up to it. But I don't want to make excuses for it.

But I hope I don't have to. I hope I'm not like, guys, always remember when you're watching it. Every joke, think, well, you know, it is a tough situation. I wanted to put this picture out. I don't know. It just makes me, I'm just nervous. We'll see how it does. I've done some interviews and some people that have watched it that they sent, they all said they like it. I mean, not that I don't, what are they going to tell me? Yeah.

uh, the other interview me and they're like, I didn't think it was that good. Like, yeah, but they can pick up on some stuff that I was like, I love this. And I was like, okay, great. Cause we have something kind of happened during it. Uh, that kind of runs through it just for taping outside. And I left and we left it in and I thought, well, I think it could be funny. Like it shows it's, I think it is funny and it shows the realness of what we were doing. We're doing outside, outside taping. Right. So,

But yeah, here we go. Here we go. And I did. Yeah. And then got to get all new stuff, which is impossible. You always never can. You never as a comic. You never. You're like, how could I ever come up with anything else ever again? It's good to know you feel that way because I feel that way all the time.

I feel it every single – I mean, then I think back, like, for the Tennessee Kid special, after that, I was like, how would I – or even up to the Tennessee Kid, after stand-ups, it's like, how am I going to come up with more stuff? And then the Tennessee Kid, then you're like, okay. And you always feel like you're barely getting it in. Like, you barely get it down in time.

And then after that one, you're like, I don't know, dude. How can I ever talk for another hour? And then you do this special. And then, yeah, we're right back at it where, you know, it was this weekend or last week I was doing like 30. I was doing like 25, 30 minutes new. Not all great. Some fun. Trying to be more fun. Not that I'm not fun, but I love like fun, silly jokes. I got one silly joke.

I haven't done much from the podcast. We talked about that. I need to do it. I feel a little weird. You just worry that the audience has seen it.

But I need to try some of the stuff that we've kind of come up with the podcast just to see. And it's coming out almost two years to the day of Tennessee kid, isn't it? March 26th was a Tennessee kid of 2019. Yep. Wow. And so March 18th and that's, that's, that's what, that's the, if, if I can be lucky enough, I mean, who knows Netflix could say no and never want to do another one ever again. Uh, and options always on the table. Uh, but, uh,

In my head, what I want to do is every two years. And my sixth one with Netflix will be when I'm 50. And then, you know, yeah. Not including stand-ups and full-time magic. So I've been like eight. And then 10 and then be done. I have no goals past that. But that's kind of the goal now.

So we'll see. All right. Well, let's get into it. Oh, and your album is at number one. Is it still? Brian's been keeping an eye on it. Yeah. I'm very impressed with how well it's going. We talked about it at the end of last week's. Yeah. And yesterday, I looked at it. It had gone back up to number two. Wow.

Which is even more impressive. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. A lot of nice comments from people that listen to the podcast and stuff. So it's been fun. No more album on iTunes. You say that in your bio now. Yeah. Can you? Yeah. Every, yeah. I mean, you should. You legitimately are number one on iTunes. I had, when I was number two, like, I wrote that. Like, it might still be in my bio. But it was...

It was good. You always put something like that in. That's a good little thing to have on there. It's like this guy had the number one album on iTunes. It's a good credit. Put in the bio. Thanks to everybody who's checked it out. Thank you.

Thank you, guys. You seem sincere about it. Golly, dude. I hope you drop now. Now you're going to drop hard. Yeah, thanks, everybody. It seems... Thanks for getting me up to number two, guys. Thanks a lot. Yeah, way to come through, guys. Number two. He's getting mad at him. I think I brought my best, and I think you guys could have brought your best. I did my part, y'all. Yeah.

So here we go. Starting the comments. Cindy Kreitzer Frazier. Kreitzer Frazier. Is that her real name? Cindy Kreitzer. Probably her maiden name and her married name. Frazier. She just wanted to stick with the Z. She wanted a Z. You think she ever, when she married her husband, she goes, if you didn't have a Z in your name. You better have a Zer. You better have a Zer. If you don't have a Zer.

Then hit the road, Jack. Wouldn't even go out. She met a lovely man. My name's John Smith. Oh, how you doing, John? Well, beat it, you loser. I'm a zur girl. Nate, you need to go out of town more often. Come home tired. Today's podcast on the Old West was one of the best. You guys were hotter than a bowling pot of Donner Parts. Bowling pot of Donner Parts.

Yeah. I was very tired last week, and I felt it. So I'm glad that Cindy liked it. She loved it. It's one of my favorites. Well, she gets it. She's always got it. Sisa4747. Sounds like the future when we're just numbers. That's what we're going to be. They yell that, and then they shoot you in the head. This is the worst episode you have ever done. Yeah.

That's basically what Sisa just did to me. Nate is completely not interested in the Wild West. The fact that he has never even seen a John Wayne movie and doesn't appear to even know who he is is shocking. I know who he is. I don't know how I appeared. I didn't mean to give that appearance. It goes, I wasn't, you know, it was like John Wayne was behind me. Yeah, you were the one arguing he was maybe our biggest first celebrity. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, there's a lot of people upset you guys hadn't seen Tombstone or any Western whatsoever. Yeah, I don't know if Westerns are my thing. I mean, I'm not the most biggest superhero movie guy. I go watch the big ones, but it's not like I'm obsessed with it.

I've seen Django Unchained. Does that count? Is that an airplane? That was an airplane. Y'all might have heard that. That was... Man, they come over sometimes so low. Don't blame Brian for that one. That was an airplane. Yeah. I was very tired last week, so I did feel that. So I apologize for that. I was like, well, it's a long... Which is no one's fault but mine, but it's a long...

couple weeks uh and uh yeah i do know john wayne i've not watched any westerns uh i enjoyed talking about the wild wild west but yeah uh it is i mean maybe it is the worst episode you've seen the wild wild west that was the one you'd seen yeah yeah yeah i mean was he not you know a classic western yeah

John Wayne Gacy is, but who the... John Wayne wasn't a good guy. What do you think is that? And I think it's John Wayne Gacy. Well, I would hope so. All right. I hope I don't appear that I like him. And they're like, no, no, it's a... Come here. They have to pull me over. Nate, come here for a second. I'm like, what's up? Matthew Gerber, Bacon Bits has taken Whistle While You Work to a whole new level.

Yeah, a lot of, you know, I mean, I brought it up, I think at the beginning I was trying to correct it. Maybe we could bring it up privately next time. But there's always an option to, this isn't live, so we could just edit it out. But I think Brian wants to make a statement. I think we got, so I'll introduce you to the statement.

So, as you listened last week, you know that we had some issues. And no one's more embarrassed than the man I'm going to bring up now. And he just would like to make a statement. And I think afterwards, I think he'd also appreciate you guys' privacy. Please, Brian, breakfast baits. What camera am I on, guys?

I'm joking. So yeah, I chose a lighthearted one there just to get us in the topic. There were many that weren't so lighthearted. We're recording this on Sunday. We've already had like probably about 400 comments and emails and about 390 of them were about my nose recently. Yeah.

I woke up Wednesday morning, and I was still in bed checking my inbox, and people were furious. Furious. They were like, you've ruined my week. I spent $600 on Mechanic just to see if they could figure out what the problem was. Took my laptop to the Apple store because I thought it was overheating. You don't understand. You would never do something like this.

A lot of people told me I ruined their week. So I apologized to everyone. I'm sorry. There were some people... I will never question... A lot of times I've seen celebrities say, I got death threats for something. And I'm like, I don't know if you really did. I believe it now. You believe it. You didn't get death threats, but you got... I got some angry people. Pretty close. Yeah. Yeah, I got some angry people. Yeah, you would have got the...

In your interview, you'd be like on 60 Minutes, like, did you get death threats? You're like, their next step was a death threat. I didn't get death threats, but the next step. That was the trajectory. Yeah, they were leading.

They actually might give a death threat to someone now because they've opened the door to go, well, I went after breakfast so hard with no death threat. I think I want to do a death threat. And then they come out next. Yeah, I got some DMs that let me know a few things about my mom. Death messages. Death messages, DMs. Yeah, death messages. All right, so I've taken a Claritin D today. Hey. Hey.

Yeah. You sound great, man. That's what it was. We thought it was the wiring, but maybe it was just Claritin. This episode's brought to you by Claritin. Tennessee allergies don't help. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a, yeah.

But again, everyone, I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. It's, yeah. Don't worry about it. We're back. I was tired. You know, we're trying to give everybody a break from the podcast. Yeah. That's funny. I mean, look, that's tough. You know, what are you going to do? We tried to, yeah. What do we got? We could edit it out. The whole show? Your face is blurry. It's there.

And then we can't get the noise out, so we just blur your face and we just say, well, Brian wasn't in this week. Someone else was there. And that's how we have to hide it. And they go, who's this blurry guy? Someone called me because Doc Holliday's girlfriend was Big Nose Kate. Yeah. Someone called me Big Nose Bates. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah. I like that one. All right. Well, welcome back. Yeah. This is a whole new you. We love you, Brian.

Seth Buchanan. So my wife is nine months pregnant and I'm about to go on paternity leave. I thought paternity is a weird word. I always thought paternity. Is it not, Phyllis? Sure. Because it's maternity is when you have the baby. Right. I never thought about that. That's the mom and paternity is the dad. Oh. Yeah. I'm about to go on paternity leave. So the dad says that? Yeah. So my wife is nine months pregnant and I'm about to go on paternity leave.

So a dad would say that and he gets paternity leave? Yeah. Like a mom gets maternity leave? Yeah. Really? Yeah. How long does he get a good leave? I remember when that law came into effect a few years ago. I don't remember. It doesn't really affect me, unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah.

You got your own issues. I need to go paternity leave for my nose. Naturnity. Brian's on naturnity leave. What's that? It's a whistling nose. He'll be gone for about two weeks. So you thought paternity was when the woman was just pregnant? I don't think I've ever thought about it at all. I just don't think I've ever even questioned it. I didn't know that the husband gets to go on paternity leave. I didn't know he also gets to leave.

You missed out when Harper was born. I mean, I was always on paternity leave. My whole career has been on paternity leave. All right. I thought, why not get a new game to play during the off time? So I saw Red Dead Redemption 2 on PS4. It was 30% off and bought it.

Now that it's spoiled for me, spoiled for me, I guess it's back to NCAA 14. Thanks a lot. College boy. Did you skip your friendship class that day? Love the show. We'll mute Aaron's parts from now on. Hey, that's fair. I apologize for spoiling it. However, depending on how you play the game, you'll get a different ending depending on your honor level. Oh, so, uh, you might not get the ending that I spoiled. Yeah. The main one, the main ending. Uh,

Maybe we'll get lucky and get one of the other random no one gets endings. It's still the best game ever. Can you be a good guy? You can. It's a little harder, but you can. So you didn't have to kill those people. I was full on evil. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, Katie Denny, Nate, you often say you're, you were too dumb for college, but I actually think you're plenty smart. I think most people are smart enough to make it through college if they apply themselves. It does, however, require you to attend class, even if you don't want to learn how to keep score in bowling. Yeah. Attending class is gigantic. Yeah. That is a big part of your biggest obstacle. It sounds like that was one of the, that was the one of the harder things.

I was at the semester of Western Kentucky. It's straight up a hill. And so our dorms are at the bottom. And then you have to go to the walk to the top. I mean, that just, no one was going. Like you were like, I'm not going to that. They're very easy to not go to class.

Mike McCannily, I sit on advisory board for the marketing department at the university I graduated from. Though we are a state school with state funding, you'd be amazed at how much of our focus is just on how to bring in more money. We spend so little time focusing on the education and opportunities that we can provide students that I have become very disheartened in the idea of higher education.

I even suggested that we stop requiring students to take classes such as oil painting. I can't even say that word. Oil painting and racquetball to earn a marketing degree. But the reasons I was given for why these exist was purely because we can require them, which increases total tuition paid per student.

And when you look at how much the cost of tuition has increased over the years, while the actual education a student gets has remained the same, something is definitely wrong, and it's a bummer. Wow. I love that. Look who's back. I mean, people got upset. I never really...

People never get upset at the stuff I say, which it was funny. Did I talk about the context of that video that we put out last week? I didn't talk about that, right? No, you talked about how some people were upset. People were upset. But it was very funny to the video I posted with Aaron about that. It was the whole context of it. It looked like I was attacking students, and it did look like that, and I'm not attacking students.

But it's funny to be like, why can't you? I'm like, well, it took me out of context. The video did. I posted the video, which is very funny to me. You took it out of context. I'd like you like, dude, the media is taking me out of context. You're the meat. You're your media. Your own people took you out of context. You're like, yeah, they're not. They're not doing me any favors. I'm not doing myself any favors and I can't trust myself. I'd like to make a statement against my own self.

that you need to watch the whole video. It was extremely funny to do that. It made it look like I am not attacking students at all. I am confused on what an endowment is. These schools have these giant endowments. Harvard is $40 billion. You could make 40 other Harvards.

For people to go to, just around the country. You could be like, we think you need to know our education, so we're going to use this endowment. Your endowment should always be close to zero. Usually, we are using it to make... Right? Is that what endowment is? I don't know. Like a savings? I don't know how much an endowment is liquid. I think a lot of it is... Oh, solid. Yeah, and then they...

Yeah. A gas. Yeah. I talked like I was going to keep going, but that's pretty much all I have. That's it. Do you know what an endowment is? I learned from the Wall Street episode that I'm not confident in any of my financial knowledge. Yeah. I really don't know. So endowments, they don't have the money. It's like saying there's no work. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. I think so. Okay. Which makes sense. And you want it to be. Yeah. They keep raising prices. Schools are getting stupid expensive. Yeah.

And then they always are just raising money. This college is always, we need a football stadium. Let's go raise some money. How much can you ask of your alumni? Yeah.

They went there, and you're like, so I got to – that's the one thing I guess I do enjoy of not going to college. No one calls me and asks me. Do you have Notre Dame ask? They do, and I'm like, I haven't finished paying y'all for the actual – Well, they always ask, and if you become just mega rich, I mean, you're just like owed to your college. Well, that's how you get football tickets as an alumni, as an alumnus. You –

donate a certain amount and then you qualify for tickets. So that's the only way to go to the game. No, you can, you can get tickets the regular way, but you qualify for certain kind of. Yeah. Yeah. When everybody does that, I understand giving to the college, but I just don't understand. It seems these colleges have a lot of money.

Some of them. Yeah. And so I don't, why do you keep, that's crazy to keep asking the students. They're doing fine without my donation. Yeah. But it's like, that's, you know, it's like, it doesn't make sense to the, you got to keep asking, like you keep going, can we have more money? And you're like, what are you doing, dude? Like give, go. I don't know. Like it doesn't make, there's gotta be, these colleges have a lot of money. They're doing really well.

I think. But yeah, I also don't know at all. Just seems... Some of those classes defend them. Like that friendship class, which got us all started. Once you master the basics, then you get to kind of expand your brain a little bit and start doing some stuff. Right. It's like a fun class. It was a philosophy class. We got into the nitty gritty of some Aristotle all the way up through modern day. Ted Lasso. From Aristotle to Ted Lasso. Should talk about Ted Lasso. Yeah.

But yeah, it's just the name is funny. Yeah. Well, I think everybody would make fun of that name. Right. It was a running joke among the people in the class. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so someone that's an outsider hears that, we do think, you know, because that's what somebody else said. They're like, you know, well, everybody takes roads. So no one, you know, but I'm not going to be allowed to go. Notre Dame's not letting me go there.

They're just not. I'm not, I don't have the grades. I'm not smart enough. And because I wasn't good at education, it wasn't good at taking tests. That wasn't my thing. And so, but so I don't get the option to go. Like I don't know. Notre Dame's not like, well, we also set aside some, you know, dummies that want to go. That's what they should do. Bust in some dummies. Yeah. They should bust in some dummies. They should, every school should be, we have a hundred scholarships that are just for losers. Yeah.

that barely made it to high school. But we want to change their life and we think that they deserve a chance. Maybe they didn't do good in high school for whatever reason, but they get another chance. Wow. Right? Instead, I don't get that chance. Just have 100 every school. We do 100 scholarships. You're an idiot.

That's the guy we're talking to. You should set up a fund like that at Vanderbilt. At Vanderbilt. At Vanderbilt. An idiot fund. An endowment. Set it up. Remember when George Costanza was on that Susan Ross board? Yeah. The kid that saw his C average. Saw his C average. Not getting ahead, not falling behind. Yeah. Not being braggy. That's what we're looking for. Just someone that's like, it's not like book smarts are not his thing. Right. Like it's not clicking.

But they're smart in other ways. And you just get, man, mix those guys in. Mix those guys and girls. Just have them just, I mean, just who are they? Well, go in there. Each room has one student that smokes during the class. And that's how you can tell. He just walking around and you can't tell him no. They're allowed to smoke. That's what I would allow. If they want to smoke cigarettes, they can get to smoke cigarettes. We're trying to help them out. Yeah.

All right, we're solving things. Collie Escher. As I was getting ready to leave for school, I started downloading the relevant podcast. Imagine my delight to see Nate as today's guest. I exclaimed to my husband, it's a spring break miracle.

My two favorite podcasts collided today. It made me wonder if Nate could share on an upcoming podcast, all the shows he's been interviewed on recently in promotion of the new special. So all the folks can know where to catch more of his humor and antics that are so welcomed in these strange times. I can't wait for Thursday's Netflix release. Uh,

So, yeah, what have I – I don't know if I'm allowed to say some. You'll know about one. I'll post them. You just did Ryan Rosillo again. Did Ryan Rosillo again. Bustin' with the boys. Bustin' with the boys. Did you do Bert Kreischer? I just did Bert's. Nice. We talk a lot about golf on Bert's, so don't head over there. I'll give you a heads up. Yeah.

Man, I forget. I'll have to look and I have to, I cannot remember. But you got some more coming up. I got more coming up. And so you'll know about some, you'll hear about that I'm going to do. That, yeah. Yeah. I think I said, I'm doing, well, I'm doing one. I'm doing Good Morning America.

I believe on March 30th, 29th or 30th. That's cool. Nice. And then, yeah, doing Access Daily. It's like Access Hollywood. Okay. I got that next week. I'm doing Barstool Sports again Wednesday. Aaron Land?

Aaron Land, I'd love to come on. I mean, I think I'm on in the background a lot. I'd love to be a focal point of Aaron Land. Send me a tape. Yeah, I will. So, yeah, I can't think off the top of my head. But I have a big one, and I just don't know when it's going to come out. You skipped the back of the first page. There was some more.

Oh, all right. Let me get... All right. So that was the last. All right. Robert, I am actually a descendant of one of the families that was in the Donner party. No way. The Breen's. That's crazy. Patrick Breen is my great, great, great, great grandfather, and his journal is the only surviving written account from a party member as it was happening. The

The Breen's and the Reed's were the only families to not lose a family member during the ordeal. And our family has always proclaimed that the Breen's did not resort to cannibalism. Dude, that's crazy. I know. That's unbelievable. The descendant of one of the families that was in the Donner party, the Breen's. Wow. Wow, dude. That's so wild. Yeah. Huh? Look at it. It's all coming together. Yep. Wow.

I mean, our family. He looks like a guy who went through the Donner. Yeah. That guy has no joy left in his life. Yeah. Patrick brain. Yeah. Do you want to smile, Patrick? I mean, would you, you know what I saw up there? Those animal Donner's going on.

And he just gets furious at him like, are you crazy? No, I won't smile. Say cheese. No, I will not. I'd love some cheese. I am dead inside. You look over there, Don Donner sizing your camera guy up.

I like that their family, just constant. How many times do they have to go, we did not resort to cannibalism? Just as a statement as a family. You have to always just kind of say it. You bring it up. Just a lot of statements that you got to make. Just look, yeah, we were there. No, we were there.

Our family did not resort to cannibalism. We held out as we said the Donners should have. And honestly, I think the Donners always wanted to do cannibalism, to be honest. If you ask me, I think they were rooting for it. They did it after like the first five hours. It was like I was like hungry for like a mid snack and they were like, what if we eat people? And you're like, whoa. That was quick. Johnny Donner. What was his name? Johnny Donner.

I forgot Donner's first name. Jim. Jim Donner. Johnny works. Jim. Johnny D. Jim Donner. Jim. Not yet.

That sounded like I was reading a comment, didn't it? Yeah, that's what I thought. I was trying to keep the joke going. Ben Tucker, I'm distantly related to the Donner Party on my mom's side. My grandma's maiden name is Donner. I can confidently say that I haven't felt any cannibalistic urges, but every year at the Thanksgiving, someone makes a joke about what we're due if we run out of turkey. Gets less and less funny every year. I mean, how do you not? That's tough. That's where the Donners left you.

is, I mean, man, two people related. That's crazy. Yeah, that's distantly related to the Donner Party. Wow. That's pretty wild, dude. I mean, that's how do you, yeah, what have you done? I mean, everybody hears, how did they tell you that? I don't know. I'm surprised there were that many that survived to breed. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, they were the people that got out. Well, the Donner Barty breeded. They crushed it up there in that mountain. They were dominant. Oh, that's right. I mean, the Donner Barty was like, yeah, there's the most of them. Oh, you don't think they were eating their own family?

Why would you do that if there's other families? I mean, just out of respect for the other families. I don't think it's, you know... Out of respect for the Breams. I think political correctness is all thrown out the window once you start eating people. I think you don't, you know... Yeah. It's pure survival up there. Like, it's a war. Yeah.

You don't go, that's not, you know what? That's uncouth. Yeah. Okay. Jill Donner doesn't go, Jim, I think we should honestly eat someone in our family because it's looking bad. And Jim's like, what do you think this is? We're eating people. They're eating people like elbows off the table. Yeah. Yeah.

are we going to eat them? And then you have to go. I mean, he might be serious. I was gonna say, I think the Donners did not make it. The, the main Donners, their kids, I think survived. Oh, okay. But no, good for them. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. They had to go. Yeah. Uh, imagine the jokes. If Ben Tucker's still hearing jokes, imagine the jokes those kids are like, I mean, like, uh,

Matt Oregon, my 10th grade English teacher, taught us that on a on a man on a what is it on a man? Onomatopoeia. Onomatopoeia. Onomatopoeia is the second most rhymeical, rhythmical rhythm. What's that word? Golly. Rhythmical. Rhythmical. Onomatopoeia is the second most rhythmical.

That felt like I was trying to jump over and not fall in the water during that word. Rhythmical. Rhythmical. Like I just go, like trying to cross a creek and not get my feet wet. The last one's a little bit farther. I'm like, I'll get there. Rhythmical word in the English language. When we asked her what the first most rhythmical word was, she responded without missing a beat, gonorrhea. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Rhythmical. I don't think, you know, my family, we've never said the word rhythmical. Just didn't, you know? Just didn't come up day to day? Never came up. Yeah. Never, you know, I don't think it was bounced around. Maybe. Maybe it was. Maybe my family can all say it. You know, they all went to, mom or my dad and my brother went to college. I'm a sister.

And my brother-in-law teaches at a college. Adjunct professor. He's an adjunct professor. He is. He's an adjunct professor at college. So I guess you can tell who did it. Me and my mom. Manny Acosta Robles. Robles. Manny. Manny. Manny. Manny Acosta Robles. Robles. Acosta Manny. Acosta Manny. How you doing, Manny? Let's go with Manny. Yeah.

Justice League was originally by Zack Snyder, but his daughter committed suicide during the filming, so he stepped down and Joss Whedon took over. Many felt the version Whedon made was horrible, rushed, many changes to the story and things taking out. Zack Snyder, who did his own cut of the film, did it for free, I believe, and finished the film this way. That's why it's being re-released. Makes a ton more sense. Yeah.

Makes sense. Thank you, Manny. Thank you, Manny. I approve it. Manny and Baughner texted me that too. Yeah. Cocktail MD, shave and haircut was used by POWs in Vietnam to make sure a new person on the other side of the wall was American.

They tapped the first part, and only Americans would know to tap two bits since it wasn't well known to the Vietnamese. That's a tough one. Vietnamese? Vietnamese. Vietnamese. I mean, that's a word that sounds like it's, you know...

I just can't say that word, and I don't like to because it sounds like I'm saying it, like I'm being racist. What are they, Vietmanite? And people are like, oh, my God. Whoa. And I'm like, I can't. I don't know how to speak, dude. Trust me. I promise you. I did not mean like that. Look, get Bartholomew over here. See? You think I'm making fun of that guy? No. I just don't know how to say these words. Rhythmical. I mean, I would just be shouting that as the family ran off. I promise. I can't say this stuff.

I always thought a modern version would be up, up, down, down, and they'd know left, right, left, right. That's pretty good. That's fine. That would be a modern version. It'd be our version.

He's talked about it at dinner parties. You've never heard it. Yeah, oh, the famous cheat code? Yeah, up, up, down, down, left, right. Yeah, you would not know. So we'd go up, up, down, down, and you would go. What would you think you would say? I'd say left, right, left, right, now. Now you would. Right. Because of this episode. That's interesting that that's what they did during the wars, though.

And then the others. Oh, you messed it up. That wasn't good at all. Yeah, sounds like it. They would have thought you were a Vietnamese. Oh, my gosh. There's the Vietnamese guys out there. And they go, he can't say it. Sounds better. He can't.

You should get shot through the door. Brian's not rhythmical at all, dude. Yeah, no. That was awful. They don't even look, just right through the door. And they go out and they go, oh my gosh, you shot breakfast. And then someone goes, I'll be honest with you, his nose whistling at night, it's not the end of the world. And truly, they would go...

We're mad. It shouldn't have happened. We are sleeping terrific. I'll be honest with you. Since that accident has happened, I felt unbelievable every morning. And the war changed that day. The Vietnamese would keep me alive as a torture.

John McCain would just crack. Stop it. No more nose whistle. We're going to bring one of yours in, Brian Bates, to do an interview with you. And they go, that's it? I thought you were going to waterboard me. They're like, no, that's it. Brian Bates is going to interview you. And then he just sits down. Yeah, yeah, put these headphones on. Wait. Hello. Hello.

Just whistling as he has to go.

Hi. Today, he says he's doing all these things, and then the guy's like, what's up, man? Something in your nose? He's like, no, I think everything's fine. So how long have you been spying on my friends here? I mean, the guy's like, I don't know. He just breaks. Yeah. Just stop it. I'll talk. Okay.

He'll talk. I can't whistle right now.

There it is. Chris Nunez. I think my favorite thing about the podcast is the way each episode starts with Nate being very excited and the most talkative of the group, constantly stepping on the words of Beethoven and Notre Dame and talking over them. But throughout the episode, Nate slowly loses interest and talks less and less until that moment comes where he hasn't spoken for several minutes and inevitably says, all right, is that about it? We're almost done. Love the show. Keep making us all laugh.

I agree. And that feels like, and that, guess what? In the comments, that is it. Yeah, last week I was tired. But I do get, you know, you got to keep it compelling. And it's hard, you know. I can't do everything myself. So, we got a guest coming up this week. We're going to talk about the lovely state of Alabama. There it is. Another state. Another state with a very funny...

uh fellow nashville comedian from alabama dusty slay all right all right all right my wife is from alabama yeah okay not on the episode and aaron's from and aaron's from alabama so we had enough and then my wife she said i would like to do it i said i think i think we've done enough i think you've been on enough now my wife is they went to uh they're at uh universal

Florida. Yeah, right now. They sent me a picture. Okay.

You have to wear a mask there the whole time. And I think Disney's like, Universal Disney, they are on it, dude. Oh, really? I mean, that's their, you know, Disney's an unbelievable place. It's really, really. Have you been to Disney World? No, never been. Have y'all, have you been? I've been, yeah. It's a great time. As a kid, yeah. Yeah. I've been to Visionland in Birmingham. You know Visionland? I don't know Visionland. I've been to Disney World more than Birmingham. Yeah, yeah.

I almost got attacked by some pigeons. You went as a kid. Well, you should go. It's changed a lot. There was no Epcot Center when I went. Was there not? I remember when it opened, like in 82 or something. You read about it in the paper? Yeah. The Epcot Center. That's, yeah. I could have, when did, oh, it started in 82. I think the Epcot Center opened like early 80s. Yeah. All right. Because I was going to say, did I, I don't know if I saw it too. We went-

I don't know. I don't remember. I've actually been a few times now just because I'm now traveling so much, I'll end up being near it. And so my daughter's actually... I have a joke about it. But she's been a few times now. Sometimes it's just like a vacation. It's like I really enjoy it. It's a good vacation to go do. I like doing stuff. It's something to do. And Disney World does just run. I mean, they just... It's done really good. They do a really good job. But I think that...

I have friends that have gone now and they'd say that they're on you about the mask. Like, I mean, that's their, they just walk around. I mean, you just, it's not like you could be like, there's a lot of people. I'm sure you're probably pulling it down, walking around, trying to, and someone pops up and is like, Hey, put your mask on. And then you have to do it.

So it seems like a good time. I went to Disney World as a pesticide salesman. I went with a bunch of pesticide salesmen. We were all real fat, drinking a lot, and eating fried stuff. And I tried to feed some pigeons, and then they just kept coming. And it was wild.

So you were selling pesticide? Yeah, I used to be a pesticide salesman for a long time. That was a big, that would have been a big one to get. Disney World? Oh, yeah. Well, no, I wasn't selling pesticides. It was like a sales trip. Okay.

They were like, let's reward all these adults by sending them to Disney World. Pesticide sells them. Yeah, they'll fit in. Yeah. Man, that would be a big contract to get. Yeah, imagine if you had come back with Disney World. I mean, you'd own the company probably now. Yeah, I mean, I'd love to set up some weed killer displays. You know what I mean?

It'd be a lot of fun. The weed killer ride. Yeah. Oh yeah. The weed killer ride would be, we call it weed stop. That was our product. I think. Weed stop. Weed stop. We had bug stop. We had, you know, we had a products. We, we, we were competition for roundup. Right. But our stuff was called weed and grass killer. Yeah. Right. Like we were straight generic. How are they doing now?

I don't know. I quit, but I think they're doing fine. I think they're doing about as well as they always were. Yeah, yeah. Once at a sales meeting, I had a boss go up and go, he goes, who's got it better than us? And then everybody went, nobody. And I was like, I don't know that that's true. Yeah. I wasn't prepped on this. I didn't know this chant, but I'm pretty sure all of the competition has it better than us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're doing good to send y'all to Disney World. Yeah. That's a big trip. That was. Yeah, that was a good time. What were y'all talking about? Like when y'all have a sales meeting, y'all go to a sales. You're like, all right, this year we're going to do more weed stuff. Yeah, exactly like that. That's what we would get in a room and they would go, hey, this year we got a new space for weed.

wasp and hornet killer on the shelf and then everybody would applaud the whole yeah and then my last year there i figured out i kind of got the rhythm of the applause break so i would start starting them oh this seems like a good one and then i kept a tally hundreds of applause breaks that you would do you were straight up a comedian that like already from that just thinking that that's what you were thinking about while they were talking having serious talk about weed stuff and

Oh, yeah. If they would have ever known that, they would have been like, well, just quit now because you're like, I'm going to quit. Oh, yeah. I've just got to find the, you know. Oh, I knew I was quitting. Every sales meeting, I was like, this is going to be my last one. Yeah. Eventually it was. But I landed, you know, on a retail they have. Each item has a SKU number is what they call it, right? And I landed in Orlando, got on the shuttle. Another guy was there and he goes, hey, what's your top five SKUs? And I was like, okay, dude, let's see.

I'd have no idea, first off. But don't get me in trouble. I would be that guy, probably, though, if I was into weed. Like, if that was my thing, I would be way like, oh, we're getting a new. Yeah.

You didn't try to go tell your wife that? You know, a little extra space for a hornet. Might as well just go all in. Might as well go all in. Yeah, I mean, it's exciting, you know, when you go from three facings to four. You're like, this is going to be good for me. What is it, three facings? Yeah, like you have like three cans. You know, it's all mapped out. But when you get that fourth one, you're like, oh, this is going to be big. My sales are going to go through the roof here. Yeah. And what's a SKU? A SKU, it'll be a number. SKU. SKU.

Yeah. And so that, is that what they, do they? Well, that's the UPC. Yeah. They don't have a SKU number and you just type that in the computer and they go, do you have any more of these in stock? And you go type it in and you're like, oh yeah, we do. But who knows where they're at? So if you have one shirt in five different sizes for merch, you have five SKUs. Yeah. That's just, it's just like an individual thing. And then you're selling to like, uh,

Like lawn and care places, Lowe's. Lowe's, Home Depot. Sometimes a Walmart. So there's a big deal to get into Lowe's and Home Depot. They're like Shark Tank. When they get into like a big store, it's gigantic. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a big time. I was already in there. So mainly what I would do was go in and all the other companies would have all the space. Yeah.

And then I would try to get a little space and then they would take it. You talked to Lowe's. I would talk to the Lowe's manager. I'd go, hey, I'd like to get a little. And then my company always wanted me to promise that I would come and fix it every week. But I knew I couldn't, you know, because I had too much to do. I had 32 stores. I was hungover. So you got, you have to go in and fix it. Like you got to correct, make sure it's all set up properly. Yeah. Oh yeah. I got to go. So it's not like it's the stock people are doing that. You have to go do that. Oh yeah. They'll do it, but it'll be bad when they do it.

So they're like, go. So your constant job is to go to these stores and make sure. So when you see product at stores, that means like the salespeople, that's what they're having to go do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And there could be a whole war going on that we don't know about. I used to tear down the competitions displays and throw their shelves in the trash can. Yeah.

And we would have real fights and it was great. It was a lot of fun. Yeah. I like if someone just turned into this, they're like, well, I guess they're interviewing a weed killer. Yeah. That's what it sounds like. And our accents don't not turn them off. They go, yeah, no, that makes sense. I used to find myself in bars a lot having conversations about lawns. Yeah. Like that's what I can, I can help you with that lawn. That's what I do. I'd be drinking alone. Like I can get rid of this lawn fungus for you. Yeah.

Yeah, I know how to get it. Could you still do it? Probably in South Carolina. Tennessee has got different grass. Oh, wow. Could you tell grass on a golf course? I know you don't watch golf. No, probably not like that. Like Bermuda grass? Do you know that kind of stuff? No, we had St. Augustine and centipede. That's the ones I could tell. Yeah. But I wasn't that good. I read a lot of the back of the bottles. Yeah. Now I know this, you know? Yeah.

Like where some guys would, yeah, they know in golf. It's very much. People know the grass. It's pretty crazy. I don't know the grass, but they're like, what kind of fairways you got? And I'm like, I don't know. Or, Oh yeah. And there's, and it's a different, but it's like when I just played in Arizona, I want to see someone at Georgia. It was very nice.

Oh, yeah. And it was like, that's where you hit and the divots, like, it's this, and if I'm right, and then it's very thick divots. It's where you see on TV where the divot flies up. They call it a pancake. It looks like a pancake lands ahead. And it's like, you just, I mean, you just cut into the grass. It's the greatest feeling alive.

And then they have Bermuda, I think, is tighter grass maybe. And so it's like a little bit, the fairways are just tighter cut, I guess. Yeah.

and maybe harder. I don't know. So this stuff only works on particular types of grass. Well, yeah, you know, it depends on, you know, you got, it's supposed to be, I mean, I feel like that this is like, you know, I haven't talked about this in forever, but I used to stand in a Lowe's and go, yeah, it's all about the vein structure of the grass. You know, it's like, it's a two, four D. And then now I used to sell this one chemical that everybody's talking about. It's killing everybody all the time. And I'm like, Oh, yeah, yeah.

But I used to breathe it in. The stores would have to, a bottle would break and they were like, we need you to take this out of here. So I'd put it in the trunk of my car. I'm driving around with it for weeks. I have no idea it even smells. My buddy gets in the car. He's like, what's that smell? I was like, I don't know. I don't even smell anything anymore.

Well, go show some weed stops love, you know? Like, I like that you can, you see, you're throwing them a bone after all these years. Thanks for getting Dusty to the point where he can do comedy full time. Weeds can't hide from spectracide. That's what that is to say. You know what I mean? Yeah. Which is the truth. It is true. It is true. It is true. Uh, so, uh, Alabama, uh,

I mean, I feel like we're already in it, talking about it. I'm talking about weeds. It's how I pictured the episode would go. Talking about specific types of grass in South Carolina. Yeah. That's a good start to the Alabama. Is that, so you moved, where were you born? I was born in Alabama. Yeah. And I lived there until I was 21. Yeah. And then I moved to South Carolina.

Yeah. For comedy or anything? No, I just was like, I got to get out of here. And not that I don't like Alabama. It was mainly my town. And not that I don't like my town, but I was like, I got to get out of here. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm about to go there next week and do comedy. What town was it? I'm going to Auburn. I grew up in a town called Opelika, right next to Auburn. Opelika. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good time. We had a good time there. Were you, my neighbor Felix went to Auburn. I'm joking. I'm joking. But were you an Auburn fan?

Well, you know, I always like to say, you know, where I come from, you're either an Alabama fan or you went to college. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I say, but I didn't go to college, so roll tide, you know? But yeah, I mean, my dad's an Alabama fan. My mom's an Auburn fan. They're divorced, and they both take it very personal. Like if I say I like Alabama around my mom, it's like it almost hurts her feelings. So I've just kind of always towed the line. But yeah, I like Alabama.

That's something I think people that aren't – if you haven't spent a lot of time in Alabama, I think you might not understand how seriously people take it. We had Alabama Auburn Day. Did you have Alabama Auburn Day at school growing up? Did you ever have that? I don't know. You didn't go to school with uniforms, did you? No. Oh, no. Oh, no. You said that like most people did. That's how you just asked that. I mean, talk about out of touch right here. I know. Guy, I mean, good night. Whole family went to Notre Dame.

Oh, wait. You guys didn't do uniform. What did you guys wear? Jumpsuits? Did you wear... I mean, I technically had a uniform because I only had like five shirts. You know, but...

Yeah. Whoa. Oh, heck of a start, Aaron. Yeah. All right. Let's reel it back a little bit. In elementary school, though, I did have an Alabama shirt that I would wear, and then I had a maroon sweatsuit, and the shirt was real big, so it would be like I would wear the sweatsuit and then the shirt over it. So there was no hope for me for style. Yeah. Did you...

Well, what were you going to say about Alabama? Y'all had Alabama Auburn Day? We used to have Alabama Auburn Day every year at school where you wore gear for either team. Yeah. And I remember one kid being like, I don't like either team. And they're like, well, you better pick one. Oh, wow. Because we don't play this. Can I wear a Florida shirt? No. You can't. Yeah. Wow. You know, I find Alabama is such a long state. Northern Alabama, obviously very much like Tennessee because it's right on the border. But you go down to like do shows in Mobile. Yeah.

Which is on the Gulf Coast. Yeah. It's just a different type of person down there. Right. It's... Taller? Yeah, a little bit taller. For sure. Yeah, it does change. The accent gets deeper the further you get down there. Yeah. But automobile is nice. Or like if you get to the Gulf Shores, there's areas that are... Gulf Shores, Alabama. There's some really nice areas down there. Really nice areas down there. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like it's a place to be. And so you grew up, I know you can talk about your act, you grew up in a trailer park? Yeah, when my parents divorced, my mom moved to a trailer park. Yeah. So you got the full experience of Alabama. Oh yeah, my dad lives on a farm, my mom lived in a trailer park. I mean, you are, you're what people think about. Oh yeah. It's like what they, when they, like Alabama, it's like,

What, did you grow up in Taylor Park? Dead on a farm? You're like, I don't know. All right, I'll stop you when you're wrong. Go ahead. Yeah, I mean, we were into NASCAR, wrestling. You know, wrestling before it was... We called it wrestling before it was fun. When it was like on local TV. Yeah, yeah. We used to go to Columbus, Georgia and see Ric Flair and Sting. Was it... Do you ever remember seeing anybody...

early like big like stone cold ever would you ever remember that i don't think so no yeah because it was like those earlier if you ever watched well i read stone cold's book which is i don't know i probably talked about it's very funny i read a that i read his book but his book is read it's how i should read a book though it's a lot of like let me tell you something and then i went over i mean there's rhythmical was not used once in that book and i mean i flew through it i was like

what a quick read. It's just very tiny words. But he started in wrestling in those circuits. They would go to Memphis a lot, but like those kind of things where you would see those people come through and, you know, then they become, I mean, he becomes the most famous person alive, you know, which is pretty, the rock going through that kind of stuff. Yeah. Pretty crazy. I remember seeing that guy, El Gigante. You remember that guy real tall? He was only around a little while. I don't know. I just, I love that. El Gigante.

Like the giant in Spanish? Yeah. The Spanish giant? Yeah. He wasn't wearing that uniform, though, whatever that is back then. Yeah. Oh, wow. He is pretty big. Yeah. He's like the great Khali. Yeah, we saw that guy. Yeah. Oh, wow. The Steiner brothers back before he was Big Papa Pump. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. They got huge. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

That's pretty cool. I liked a lot of people. We didn't watch wrestling. I would see it on TV. I remember watching it younger. It was big back then where you'd have the matches. Saturday, Hulk Hogan would wrestle a guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It was just that was – you would get to see Hulk Hogan. Like Mike Smith. It's not a – they actually did it, I think, in a good way in the fact that to see the big events, it was pay-per-view. Yeah. And in the regular events, you would have – then Monday Night Raw was like, oh, you see, there'd be a couple –

that were like pretty big matches. But back, I remember someone, it was very funny, someone would know a guy that was one of the regular guys and they would always be like, oh, I know a wrestler. You're like, oh, what's his name? Like Brandon Bale? I don't know, I'm making that name up. And you're like, oh, he's one of the guys that, you know, just has like red trunks. Yeah. And you're like, oh, but that was like a guy to know. And you're like, wow, that's pretty cool. He's on, you know, it's like knowing a Washington Senator.

Like the, was that the Harlem Globetrotter? Washington Generals. Washington Generals. If you're like, I know a guy that plays professional basketball. And you're like, oh, that's cool. I would rather meet a guy from the Washington Generals. Than a Harlem Globetrotter? Don't you want to hear from a guy that their team has to lose every game? Yeah, how he keeps, how he gets up every day. Yeah, they have to let, the Harlem Globetrotters are like, what are you going to talk about? You're like, well, what I do is I throw it around my, you know,

You know, throw it around my waist a hundred times. A couple years ago, the Harlem Globetrotters came to an open mic here in Nashville. Oh, really? Out of nowhere. At Third Coast. Were you there that night? Yeah.

Did you perform in front of them? Yep. How'd it go? They just came to watch a show. They were in town for an event, right? Yeah. They bounced the ball off. They went to Third Coast Comedy Club for the open mic and just showed up. Wow. And then when Brian went on, they threw a ball off his head. Right off his forehead, and they caught it. And the crowd is a new form of heckling. And he goes, all right, sir. There's no comeback to that. Bucket of confetti. Yeah.

I heard they were like a great audience. Because they know what performance is about, and audience makes a difference. So they were very supportive. Were they pretty easy to spot when they walked in? I'm guessing they're all tall. One guy played at Memphis, and I remember hearing about him. He played college at Memphis, and he could jump. I mean, he could touch the top of a backboard.

And I think those guys go there. Like, if you can't make pro, then you're like, if you get into that, it's not a bad gig. And the Harlem Goat Trotters are just a wonderful, just perfect entertainment. I think it's so fun. You get to take kids. The people up front, they get involved. It's such a just awesome thing to go watch. Why not just have two teams, though, that actually compete?

That's what I wonder. I think it would not get serious because then they couldn't do all the crazy stuff. Yeah. Because it would be like two... I think they have played each other. Look and see if they've ever won. I almost think the Washington Generals have won a game. And then I think they've even played...

Because the Washington Generals, it's not like they're bad. They're very good. Well, it's all an act. I mean, yeah, they're a good athlete. It's a show. If you were a kid, big Harlem Globetrotters fan, and you went to the one where the Washington Generals won. Oh, yeah. That would be like. Yeah. I mean, that'd be like being a kid that is a Washington Generals fan. Like, yeah, the guy, I mean, they say he shows up and he loves the Generals. Yeah.

He's like, this is going to be the day. I used to have a joke about how all these teams say, we need to get back to playing. Chicago Cubs. They're always whatever. That's what the halftime speech Washington General said.

We haven't won since 1971. We need to get off playing like we play. We don't need to be the Washington Generals at all. Yeah, it's a fun – Harlem Go-To's are great. Did they lose? So they've played – the Globetrotters have beaten them about 16,000 times. Wow. And the Generals have won anywhere between three to six games, they think. Wow. Wow. So what happened those times? On accident. They win on accident or they – How do you win 16,000 and lose three? Yeah. Yeah.

It had to have been an exit. Yeah. They lost in Martin, Tennessee. Yeah. Like what happens to that now? Yeah. Curly Neal did not play in the game. Oh.

So I wonder, are they trying to like somewhat? Yeah. I mean, how would you, you'd much rather talk to a guy that plays on them to be like, what are y'all trying to do? Yeah. Do you just, are you like, yeah, we let them when they're out there dribbling forever, we just let them do it. I mean, there's nothing called when you go, well, a guy touched the ball that was in the rafters. So I guess we're not calling out of bounds this game. They pull each other's trucks down. Yeah. Like how is losing every day better than just having a regular job?

Right? Like, I would be like, you know what? Maybe I will go back to selling pesticides. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of getting my pants pulled down and losing 16,000. Would you do comedy if you just bombed every set? Oh, no. I could never handle it. I can bomb once or twice and be like, that was pretty fun. And then after that, I'm like, I don't know. So who would be someone that is like a Washington General of...

Some of that, like Tony, uh, I got a few. Yeah. No, but, uh, that likes it. Uh,

What's his face? Jim Carrey played him in the movie. Andy Kaufman. Yeah. But Andy Kaufman, and then who was his alter ego? Tony... Clifton. Tony Clifton. Tony Clifton would be like a Washington... He does not want to ever do good. He wants to... Neil Hamburger is like that. Yeah, always. But people like Neil Hamburger. So maybe it's even more like that. But they like the Washington General too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I bet it's a little bit like professional wrestling. I think the good guy lost more back in the day by accident because they didn't have it all refined. But now it's much more scripted. But if the Washington generals were like a wrestler bad guy, like they really like taunted them. And I feel like the good guy in this scenario is taunting the other people. Yeah.

Yeah. That's true. Bouncing the ball, pulling their trunks down. Yeah. 16,000 times. They're bullies. To three. I mean, there is just going to be three times. Like, you're like, yeah. The fan reaction says they looked at us like we killed Santa Claus. Yeah. Wow. Did you already read this? Why they lost? What ended up happening? No. They were just goofing around. They just lost track of the score. And all the while, the generals were actually trying. Oh, really?

Oh, really? And then they just looked up and they were like, oh, man, we've got two minutes left and we're down 12. And then they tried to come back and they couldn't in time. And they legit tried to go. They just caught them sleeping, dude. I wonder if the Generals are really playing –

No. I guess they were that game. Maybe back in 1971. But maybe they were missing their kind of crazy shots. It's like six times out of 16,000. I think that one, right? They go, all right, let's give them a game. They were popping champagne back there. Can you imagine? We did it. I think I would love it to be at a game where it'd be great as a comedian to say the only Harlem Globetrotters game I went to is they lost. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That would be – And to have that story. But if you went to that game, you would tell like, this has never happened, so it's good. It's better than saying I went to watch them. I went and saw them lose. Yeah. To be at that game. That would be a ticket you could sell. You could sell that on eBay. Someone would buy that ticket over anything else. Right? Yeah. So children cried. Yeah.

If it's set on the ticket, they're going to lose this game? If it was just the date and they go, what's so special about this date? Oh, after the fact. After the fact. And you go, what's so special about this date? And you go, if I would hang up a ticket to go like, they're like, you went to the Harlem Go-Tartars in 1971. I'm like, actually, that's a ticket from the first game that Washington Generals won. Yeah. People are like, oh, wow. Wow. Isn't that more of a collector's item? That would be really cool.

So, all right. Harlem Globetrotters, weed killing. We're in it. We're in it. Jammer, jammer, baby. From Alabama to Harlem, just like that. Yeah, it's just like that. Yeah. It doesn't take much to get there. So, Alabama, where are you from in Alabama? Montgomery. Montgomery. Which is like 30, 40 minutes from Opelika. Wow. Not too far. Did you guys hear about each other? No.

I've been to Montgomery a few times, though. It's a lot of fun. Capital of Alabama? Montgomery is the capital of Alabama. It's also the first capital of the Confederacy. That's right. It's kind of highfalutin. Aaron said he wished it still was. It's kind of highfalutin with your uniforms.

You know, stuff like that. Yeah, but you guys, you didn't have uniforms. We did. We did not have uniforms. I had some JNCOs that I wore for a while. You went all public school. All public school. Yeah. Did you go to college? I didn't go to college. Well, we have a similar college story, I think. I did community college for about two days. Yeah. And then I was like, I'm not into this.

I had one dude from my high school in the class, and I was like, I don't even know what I'm doing in here. There was no girls in my class. I'm like, this is not the college experience I was promised. Yeah. And I was like, I'm just going to work at Papa John's for a while. And they're almost like, they're like, no, it is the –

college experience you were promised. They look at your grades, you're like, actually, this is exactly the one you've earned. Yeah, that's true. You deserve this one. We used to always play Opelika and sports as a kid, so I was always out there. Elmore County and Tallassee and all those little towns, man. So I've been out there. I did football one year. Oh, wow. Yeah, one year, ninth grade. Oh, okay. Eighth grade, middle school. Yeah. How did you do?

How'd it go? Well, I played one play and I didn't know what to do. So it was the ball. It was down pretty quick. That was his Rudy moment. Yeah. A Rudy moment, but they hiked it and then the play was over. And then I went back to the sidelines, took my helmet off and was like, I'm glad that's over. I wanted to quit, but my mom, I came out with all my stuff one day after practice. My mom was like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm quitting. She was like, all right, go tell your coach.

And I was like, all right. And then I played the rest of the year. I didn't want to tell my, I wanted to walk out. Yeah. And so I just would practice. Were you into sports? No. No. Still now? I just wanted to be cheered for at the pep rally. I thought this is fun. I like backyard football. I kind of dominate in the trailer park. I thought this would be great, but not the same. I had the same, my football experience. I only played a very little bit and I kind of quit.

I mean, I love sports and I play a ton of golf now, but I was like the same way with... Once the kids got bigger and were taking it more serious and I wasn't, I was like, oh, I'm going to get hurt. Yeah. It's like when you go from 12 to 13, like 12-year-old baseball, but you're still pitching on the mound that's a smaller field, a little league field. And those kids are close. Yeah.

And then 11-year-olds are not throwing hard. 12-year-olds, they start throwing the ball, dude. And you're so close to them that you're kind of like, you're like, all right. Then I remember going to 13-year-old league where the mound moves back.

And then that was like my greatest. That was my home run off of walk that didn't count, Joe, was the 13-year-old league. And that was the best because it was like they couldn't – the kids weren't strong enough to throw it hard yet. And then your second base – I played second base, and you're far away from the ball. It was like – I don't know. I was like petrified of getting just hit in the face with this baseball. And then 14-year-old was like, oh, kids are back to serious, and they're really throwing some feet. Yeah.

And then I was like – then that's when I was kind of like, all right, I'm out. That's the age too when like half the kids have hit puberty and the other half haven't. So there's like men playing with kids. There's men. I remember this guy, Jeremy Lyons, that went to our school and he was –

played in college, could have played pro, one of the best athletes I've ever seen. But I remember playing baseball against him when I was 12 years old, just because we all grew up in the same town. And it looked like, at 12, it looked like your dad was in center field. Oh, yeah. He was just enormous. I mean, just to see, I mean, he had legs, just enormous legs. And you just look out there and you're like, is he supposed to be out there? Yeah.

Is he? That's how football was for me. They wanted us to line up 10 yards apart and then run at each other and hit. And I was like, oh, I don't like this. I don't know why we're doing this. I think we would do better now because now they're very more sensitive to kids getting hurt. We came up in an era where the rules were off. We had the same thing where they did. Bull in the ring? Bull in the ring. It's illegal now. In Alabama, that's illegal. So I never had to do that.

Growing up, because they're always like, that's the olden times. I had to do it. That's where kids get hurt. So I remember doing bullring. I played with old hickory bulldogs. Oh, the bulldogs too. The Opelika bulldogs. Oh, yeah. Bulldogs. Yeah. And then, so they, you have a single stripe or a double stripe. This was like probably 11 years old.

Single stripe, double stripe. So if you weighed too much and you were double striped, you had to play the offensive line. Yeah. So the big kids that were like on the line, they would make them run laps with trash can, with trash bag trash cans, with trash bags on them to lose weight because they got under the weight. It's like cutting weight. They could play running back. They could play running back. I did that every year. Yeah. For the weight. Because I was always right on the cusp. And so they'd make you lose. So then you, who should be on the line, is now running with the ball.

And cause he, cause he, cause he lost just enough weight to do it. So like, that's when you're like, well, that's not. So what happens with this? I mean, they, they knew I was never going to be a bull. So this was never something I experienced. Well, I, so I was bull in the ring. So you, the idea of it, you, you stand in the middle, the teams around you in a circle and you just make circles and he just yells out numbers like 25. And if you're 25, you got to run and you just boom, boom, you guys hit it, but you don't know where they're coming from.

He's just yelling out people. So I remember doing it when I played when I was a little boy and I was like, I don't like this at all. And what I would do is I'd always break my own helmet and then be like, I can't get this stupid helmet. And I'd go off to the side and try to fix the helmet the whole time of playing bull in the ring because I did not...

Oh, is that? That's not it. This is some sort of variation of it. The kind everybody thinks of is the whole team's circled up and there's just one guy in the middle and he doesn't know where anybody's coming from. So somebody can come hit you right from the back. Yeah.

And you just got to kind of spin around. So just the exact example that I gave you right before Aaron said it again, uh, the straight up exact. Well, your example was so good that we still needed more. So I know I needed it. I tried to reword it. I think you zoned out. You went into Aaron land and you had to read some ads for Aaron land. They've started their own podcast. It airs during this podcast. And, uh,

So they, yeah. So you, but I remember I was like, I don't want to do this at, it was insane. And I was like tiny. And I'm like, and the, and the coaches would want, first time I ever heard, I think someone curse was one of my football coaches. And this is what I played for the Donaldson Warriors. I played two years. And then, and they, he would always call me Nat.

And so I picked my number. So we played for the Donaldson Warriors. So we had their colors of the Washington Redskins or the Washington football team.

which I actually liked the name of the Washington football team. I actually don't mind it. I actually really do like it. Keep it Washington. I actually think they should. I like the uniform. I like the numbers on the side of the helmets. And I actually like WFT Washington football team. It just kind of feels very old. That's a very old franchise. And so it feels very old school to me that they do it. I don't know. Do they have plans to replace it with something or are they just, I honestly don't think they should. And, uh,

you know, not trying to be politically correct about India. Like, it's just, I'm saying I like that name better than even the Redskins. I like that old school uniform. I love it. I love the uniform, dude. That's like a good Alabama uniform. Yeah. And Washington football team is straight to the point. Bringing it right back to the state of Alabama. I was...

I was trying to do a joke about it. I feel like the joke's been done. But it's like that because it is ridiculous to be as a grown man. You're, you know, you're like, who are you guys going to watch? The Ravens. The Ravens are playing the Redskins. Let's name them all the football team. Yeah, it's like they should all be the Tennessee football team. And then you're cheering for your state, you know. Let's change the football.

So when I played for the Warriors, I was a big Art Monk fan. And they had Gary Clark. No, I'm sorry. I was a Gary Clark fan. And I think he was number 84 or 82, 82 or 84. And 84, yeah. And so I was like, oh, so you got to go pick your jersey. And I was like, I'll be – Gary Clark's my favorite football player. I go, I'll be Gary Clark. And I go, number 81.

And then that's Art Monk. This is the wrong guy. So then I became a big Art Monk guy. And I was like, all right, well, I'm on to Art Monk now. And I remember having to think, because as a kid, you can't look this stuff up. There's no internet. It's only what I see on TV. So then I got confused. And I was like, I think he's 81. And then I just had to become a big Art Monk guy. I had one interception.

against uh all right look at that that's a real career real career one interception and they said the other kid's name because they thought what had to be we had one kid that was really good so they just said it was him that did the interception because they just assumed it yeah because there's no way and we played this school una uh which is samarna which uh sunny gray who gave me those bats he played for you know they were the best they were they were the best team

I was number three, and my brother-in-law would wear his Dale Earnhardt hat when he would come to the games. That's how he would support me. He's like, normally I wouldn't wear this. So your brother-in-law came to your kid high school games? Yeah. So how is your sister...

How much older is she? Oh, she's like 10 years older than me. Oh. Yeah, we got different dads. We got a whole thing. We got quite the family tree going. Yeah, that was, yeah. I got a younger sister. You kind of said it like, you know, like his uniform coming. Like you're like, you know, guys, when your brother-in-law comes to your kid when you're a child and your brother-in-law's at the game and you're like, what? You're like, well, I was lined up against my uncle. It's crazy. It's crazy.

So I'm lined up against my uncle, and you're like, how old's your uncle? He's my age. I got another sister that was born when I graduated high school. Wow. Yeah, and she's not related to my other sisters. So she would be someone that could be – if you had a kid already, she would be an aunt –

You had a kid like in high school. I had a kid in high school. Yeah. She would be older than her aunt. Yeah. Wow. I mean, this is, I should have did that straight up. And just for the story, I, you know, I got, uh, and when I was at, when I played football, I got stabbed by a girl with a pencil and, uh, in school, she stabbed me several times in the corner and, uh, she, I never saw her again. And, uh,

But I got to miss a day of football practice. And that was a lot of fun. It was worth it. I don't want people listening not to think we're trying to drum up some Alabama stories. These are natural conversations that are happening. Two guys from Alabama. This just gets pulled out. This is what naturally happens. People think I make up stuff all the time. I'm like, no. I was living in it.

I mean, I had a great time, but... Laura went to... My wife went to... She went to a college, which I need to ask her more because I don't need to do a joke about it. But she went to... Her first college she went to was in a mall. And it was like... She was like taking...

She said she remembers just taking these classes and being like, you know, I'm learning about history next to, you know, a nail salon, like penny shoes or something. Like you're hearing people walk around shopping at a mall. Where's that at? She was living in Huntsville. Oh, okay. And so in Huntsville. And so, yeah, Alabama, I go down there all the time now. I don't think I went a ton growing up, but I am there the most now.

Because we have a brother-in-law in Birmingham. And so, yeah, they're all down there. Yeah. I mean, Alabama's the best. I used to do the whole swimming in creeks thing. And that's why I love country. Every country song, I'm like, I know what that's about. Yeah. Even if I haven't had the experience, country takes me there. Yeah. Yeah. You get that. Yeah. You were never too far from that experience. Right. I'm like, I can see that happening.

see that happen. Yeah, Tennessee's got, we're, I feel like Nashville's a little, not, you can go, there's, you leave Nashville and you're in the same places as Alabama. Oh, yeah. It feels like maybe all of Alabama is like that kind of rural kind of feeling where Tennessee, Nashville, you know, I grew up in that, growing up here,

But when I moved to Chicago, I was like, oh, we're a Southern. Oh, yeah. Like that's when you really, you're like, oh, no, I'm very Southern. It's getting fancy around here, though. I went to do a gig at a hotel downtown Nashville and I had my hat on and the lady was like, excuse me, we don't allow ball caps in here. And I'm like, well, this is a trucker hat. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not playing a lot of ball. Yeah. And the Napa auto parts. And then you got into your football story where you go, I missed a day of football once because a girl stabbed me. That's what you should, that's what your response should be. I'll bring it in at any time. Yeah.

Always trying to get it in. Yeah, I mean, it's a story that needs to be told. It should be told. Did she get suspended? I never saw her again. Yeah. I got one day of in-school suspension because I had pushed her head first. Oh, now we're getting to the bottom of this. Well, she stole something from me. Oh, now we're getting even more. And then I pushed her head, and then she stabbed me, and then a couple other dudes. She didn't go to the school. She got me the worst, though. I got pinned up in a corner. Yeah.

She was pretty large. She got a couple other guys who were just in the way? No, I think she had stabbed those earlier in the day. She went on a spree, dude. If you would have played bull in the ring, you might have been able to handle it and defend yourself. That's true. Where'd you get stabbed at? In the arm and twice in the back. Because I was like, ah, you know, it was pinned up. Bull in the ring is when they're circled up. Aaron, go ahead. Aaron.

And then everybody's got a uniform on, but your uniform is attacking your own same uniform. Yes. Um,

So you got, and that's when, I mean, that's when lead poisoning was your biggest fear. As a kid? Yeah. Getting stabbed with a pencil is a lead poisoning? I was like, it was like, you felt like you're cancer back then. You're just like, we're all going to die from lead poisoning. Really? I thought, I just remember being talked about a lot. I don't know, maybe it was me. No, I remember too. They say if it breaks off under your skin, you die. You're like done. I'm from the graphite generation, so. Oh, y'all had a clicker? Yeah.

I had a lot of those, but even the number two pencils, they didn't use real lead in them anymore. We weren't really worried about it, I don't think. Yeah. I was just like, I wish that I didn't get stabbed. I think the power lines you lived under probably offset each other. Yeah, it really pulls it out of there. It pulls all the lead out. Yeah, it activates it. Could you fly as a kid because you lived so close to those power lines? Dusty, let's go. How is it growing up in trailer park? Is it just...

I mean, it was normal. It was great. I always say that the worst thing was like the address, you know, because I'm like, everybody's got a normal address and I'm like lot eight Morse trailer park that I have to write down. So everybody knows, but living there was great, you know, except for any kind of storm.

Yeah. It's not just tornadoes. It's like every storm. You're like, this could take it. This is it. Did y'all get hit with anything? We had an ice storm once. It froze a tree limb and it fell and stabbed through the roof. And then it collapsed the shelf of these ceramic owls that my mom had. Wow. Yeah.

So we had ceramic pieces all over the place. I mean, yeah, so you wouldn't be worried about lead poisoning with that kind of threat. Right, right. Every night you go to bed, it's going. Yeah, pencils are really the least of our worries. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I would like a trailer park too. I like a community. Yeah. I think community is very, I like it. Yeah. My sister and her husband moved to the trailer next to us. So we had two trailers. I love it. We had a little courtyard out there. A little compound. A bunch of kids, not really related to us. Like, you know, my brother-in-law's got a, you know, got two kids from a previous marriage and it was kids all over the place. Yeah.

How many trailers are in that park? How big? It was probably 15. Oh. And it was like a row of trailers and then a dirt road and then like the backyard of people's regular houses. Yeah. So their backyard was like looking at the trailer park. But few enough that you pretty much knew everybody in it. Oh, yeah. That's cool. Yeah, it was a good time. And then the bus would just come and pick you all up. Yeah. Yeah.

And the school just knew y'all were the trailer park bus? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm sure. I mean, there was a couple of trailer parks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we weren't the only ones. But actually, there was a lot of Asian kids in my trailer park, too. So it was kind of like we had a pretty exotic stop. Like pretty diverse. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. What brought them to Alabama? I don't know. Yeah. Now we have the Kia plant pretty close to where I live. So we got that. Yeah. It was the Hyundai plant in Montgomery was big when that opened up. Yeah. Yeah.

I think they were Laotian. Yeah. We had a great time. Yeah. We used to play football at the bus stop. We'd be all sweaty getting on the bus. Man, as a kid, you just don't... Just to think about how much you don't want to shower. They just... Even my daughter, who they just wants to play. And they can go to school...

They never feel gross. Yeah. You know, like I can take two showers a day. Like you just really, I feel gross and I want to take a shower. And they just, as a kid, you're, yeah, you go and you're like, you're going to, you're sweating all day. They don't care. You're not wearing deodorant. Not wearing deodorant. It doesn't matter. You don't, you know, the other day when we went sledding,

When it snowed that week, my daughter, she had ice in her hair. And so, because it was just so cold, that's how cold it was. And she wanted it out. She was like going to some of our friends' house and maybe we had to come in and comb her hair. She was like, my hair's a mess. It looks terrible. And she's like, and it was like the first like kind of,

her acting like a teenager in a way. I had to sit there and I had to comb it. She's like, how does it look? And I'm like, what does it matter? But it was her caring about that kind of stuff. But she's still a little girl. Let's learn. Let's see how well you guys know Alabama. That was funny the way you said that. Let's learn. You guys know the state bird of Alabama? I think it's the mockingbird.

Oh, the Yellowhammer. I was going to say the Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer, baby. The Yellowhammer. Alabama's the Yellowhammer state. Okay. Wow. But I got it on the second try, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the Rammer Jammer? What is it? The Yellowbird? I think it's a Yellowbird. Yeah. I know there's a Yellowhammer Brewing Company. They have a nice beer. So that's in Alabama's fight song, right? Yeah. Or not the fight song, but a chant that they do after the game. Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer. Give them heck, Alabama. Yeah. Yeah.

Kay Ivey is the governor of Alabama. She's the oldest governor in the U.S. right now, 76. All right. Good for her. All right. Yeah. Yeah. It was named after the Alabama River, which that was named after an Indian tribe that lived in... So the Alabama State was named after the Alabama River? Mm-hmm. Okay. Opelika is a Native American term for great swamp. Okay.

and there is no swamps there. Yeah, that's why it's great. It's not great either. Yeah, that's why it's great. Because you go, well, this isn't even like a swamp. Exactly. Yeah. Have you been to a real swamp? It's a nightmare. Yeah, Lee County, Chambers County, where I grew up, is like the last area of the Creek Indians. Yeah. And my dad bought some land once, plowed it up. We found arrowheads everywhere. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that's really cool. Nashville's a great desert.

And you'd be like, well, we're not a desert. You're like, exactly. Yeah. It's the best kind. A lot of trees. Yeah. Water. Yeah. Largest city is Birmingham. Oldest city is Mobile, founded in 1702. You know, Huntsville is going to be the biggest city soon. The trajectory of it. Yeah. Well, that's the follow-up show. Is Huntsville? That's Alabama part two. Yeah. The future of Alabama. That's the follow-up. Oh, I want more questions, though. Do you got any other questions? All right. Yeah.

What's the largest employer in Alabama? NASA. Oh, yeah. Maybe so. We'll say that. That's what we want it to be, but I don't think that's what it is. I'm guessing Walmart. I'll say NASA or beef jerky. Go ahead. One of the two. It's only two options. What about the Kia plant? I don't think that's in Alabama, though. It's in Georgia. Oh, yeah. Okay. I don't know. I have no idea. Logging. Redstone Arsenal.

Oh, that's in Huntsville. That's what that is. My father-in-law was there. So all the military stuff. Yeah, it's all the military stuff. It's a big time military stuff. It's huge. And it's in Huntsville. Yeah. And I've golfed there. I don't know a lot about it. I was almost in the Army. I joined the Army and then I got arrested and didn't make it in. You wouldn't have been doing stuff at this place. Yeah, I'll probably be. Yeah.

I don't know what that is. What did you get arrested for? For alcohol and then weed. Alcohol first, and then they found weed. And you do nothing now.

Now you're sober, right? Yeah. I don't drink. Yeah. Yeah, you can't take all the Alabama out. You know what I mean? Take a little bit out. Yeah, the old timers call it dry. That's what they call it. You know what I mean? You don't drink, but you may get into something else once in a while. Yeah, you know, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? I got to live a life, don't I? Yeah.

You and I did a show once in Huntsville. I think it was at that hotel that was so terrible. Oh, yeah. But I feel like we got turned around and we pulled into this redstone. It could have been NASA, but they stopped their signs. You were like, what do you think is going on in there? That shut us. I mean, Dusty quickly turned like, oh, man. I want to know what's going on everywhere. Everything I see, I'm like, well, what are they up to in there? What's the most normal place that you would want to?

Is there a normal place that you could pull into Walmart? What's really happening back behind that? Yeah. Even a comedy club. I'm like, what's going on in this room back here? Why is it locked? Which is a great...

Just every locked door. What do they not want us to see? What do they not want us to see in this locked door? St. Louis Funny Bone had some weird life. I kept going through doorways and going down these long hallways. You would explore. Yeah, oh yeah. So if the red sonars, you would never be-

scared to know to know well like that's military stuff i don't want to get locked up in some weird military thing they're like what are you up to and then they search my youtube history and i'm like okay you know what i'm doing yeah yeah yeah yeah well nasa there's all kinds of crazy stuff going on there but huntsville they uh yeah i mean so many people are are moving there that it's it's so many people not from there i mean it's it's getting pretty crazy and yeah that that would that it's

place could be huge. It's a good place to live, man. Yeah. First rocket that sent humans to the moon was at NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville. Saturn V? Was it? I think so. Okay.

Do you guys know what Alabama's greatest natural disaster is? I would say the tornado that in the last few years probably was pretty bad. They hit Beauregard. University of Alabama. That's better than this answer, really. I would say the BP oil spill.

You guys are giving good, real answers. This happened 80 million years ago. Oh, sure it did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

If we got to make them up. Yeah. Well, it was a meteor that hit, meteorite that hit. Oh, yeah. Elmore County. Oh, yeah. Called the Wetumka. I've heard. Oh, Wetumka. Wetumka is a city. Wetumka Crater. You guys ever heard of that? No, I didn't know. Oh, okay. This town was named after that crater, after that meteor. Just like Alabama River. Okay.

In Oak Grove, Alabama. You guys know Oak Grove? No. 1954, Ann Hodges was hit by a meteorite while napping on her couch. She's the only person confirmed to have been hit by a meteorite. In the world? Yeah. Did she die? No, she lived. It woke her up. So she got hit by a meteorite and lived.

So she was badly bruised on one side of her body, but was able to walk. Did they find the meteor? Yeah. Then they got in a fight about it because her landlord said, that's my meteorite because you're on my property. Yeah. And they got an argument about it and they finally agreed to buy it. I think there's a lot of property fighting in Alabama. Yeah. There's a lot of like, it's my property. My property. That's my favorite kind of fighting. My friend almost got cut up by his own uncle for parking in his driveway. Oh, really? They were neighbors. It was a...

I'm in my neighbor's driveway right now. Yeah. Maybe it could go right. He's from New Jersey then. Can I ask a question to three homeowners? How deep down in the ground do you own and how high up in the sky do you own when you own a piece of land? There is such a thing as mineral rights where somebody can own underneath. Oh.

Like if they find something in there, somebody else can own it. Like if you buy land, because I just bought some land, if you buy land and somebody has inherited something, they can have mineral rights to your land. Oh, so they deep down. So if you found oil, somebody could pop up and go, that's my oil. Wow. And then they could take it. Yeah. And you think you're rich, but really now you're just stripped. I just watched There Will Be Blood Again. I think he talks about that. Like he owns, I think he says that he owns the mineral rights to his land.

Because the guys, well, we own this other land. He's like, because what he bought, he owns the mineral rights to all the other stuff. I don't know. Theoretically, you own it all the way to the center of the earth. Is that how it works? And then China hits the other end? Yeah. Where does that cut off? You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know. I would think you own it. I would just think if you own this land and a meteorite comes in, it's like, no, it's in my...

It's in my air. It's like a foul ball, and you just don't know who's going to get it, the right filter or the center filter. And at one point, the center filter goes, I got it, and the right filter can come in and call them off because he goes, it's in my air. Yeah, and there may be, I think in Tennessee, it's illegal to capture rainwater because the government's like, well, we own the rain.

That reign is ours. Are you serious? I think so. I don't know for sure. That sounds like you want to believe it. Yeah, well, I do want to. I don't want it to be true, but I do want to believe it. Well, anyway, she agreed to pay $500 for The Rock.

Because they thought they could sell it for a lot more, but by the time it got through all this stuff, nobody wanted to buy it. So she gave it to the Alabama Museum of Natural History. It sounds like a thing from Joe Dirt. Yeah. And then, so it's in the museum. Well, she gave it to him. I don't know where it is now, but that's where it went. But she's the only person to be hit by it.

I just, I kind of picture it like, did it come through her house? Yeah. And like, how big was it? The size of a brick? Grapefruit size. Oh. I just don't believe that it comes through the house unless it's a trailer and doesn't kill her. Yeah. From the sky. Yeah. I mean, from the, I mean, galaxy. It's not, you know. Pretty far away. Pretty far away. But I think. All down. I think. All down. Where do you think it came from, Dusty?

Yeah, who knows? If it goes through a roof, that'll slow it down a little bit. Yeah. I'm just trying to think of how that would be possible. The atmosphere didn't do enough, but as you get some siding done. Talk to those roofers. That's good work. The roofers, yeah. I'd use that as a credit. We slowed down a meteor. We slowed down a meteor.

Kept a woman alive. And they go, that's it. Okay. I'll take some pricing on that then. Alabama, along with Oklahoma and Iowa, have the most EF5 tornadoes of any state. Yeah. But Alabama has the most deaths. Okay. Most trailer parks. Yeah. Probably the reason, right? Probably so, yeah. Has to go get in that ditch. Probably so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, y'all had to be prepared.

Were you prepared more than most? Like you knew what to do? Well, we would just go to my grandmother's house, but it was like her house was really not much better than a trailer. But we would go there and be like, all right, we're safe now. But it was like, yeah, I mean, we were prepared. But you have that great joke about go lay down in a ditch. Yeah, I mean, that's what they always say. Yeah, I've heard that. If the tornado comes, you live in a trailer park, they're like, go to a neighbor's house or...

Or go outside and lay down in a ditch. Yeah. That's their way of being like, we don't know what to tell you. Yeah. And also our neighbor lives in a trailer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to run to those houses that back up. Yeah. And then they know you're coming. Once they hear a tornado warning, they're like, it's like, you see y'all come over the hill? Just like all the trailer park people trying to come in. Just let us in your garage. And you're like, get back, get back.

The 1993 storm of the century, Birmingham reported 13 inches of snow. Wow. Oh, I remember that in 93. We had a little snow. Yeah. Yeah. Storm of the century. That's what they called it. Yeah. I remember I was on spring break in college and... Good night. His whole life ahead of him. Yeah. I hate that scene. Yeah.

Aaron, what were you? I was two years old. Two years old. Probably one going on. Yeah, probably one going on too, yeah. Brian in spring break in college, sleep by 9.30. What time did you go to bed when you went to the spring break? I mean, I didn't go anywhere, but we were on spring break. Was this near the worried incident? That was high school, senior year of high school. So that was your storm of the century was when that happened. Yeah.

Yeah. So what was the storm of the century? It came up from the Gulf, and so it was like a tropical storm, but it dumped so much snow on parts of Alabama and East Tennessee. The Smoky Mountains got feet of feet of snow. Yeah. Chattanooga got like three feet of snow. Yeah, I was 11, and we built a snowman. It was the best time of my life. Yeah, yeah.

It's the greatest. You got the good end of it. Yeah. It's like we saw it here in Nashville recently is these southern towns. They get flack for not like driving well in snow. It's not because of us. It's because we're just not prepared for this. And the reason and they always go, you guys, you guys can't be like, why are you all not prepared for this? And they always say that, you know, because it doesn't happen enough.

It's not enough that we need to get prepared. You know what I mean? Like this year was so crazy that no one could drive. Nothing's getting plowed. And it's like, yeah, but this was, it was a week. And then the next 10 years we won't have this. So what are you going to do? Go bring everything in that just sits waiting for the one week that we had. You know, it's like, it's, it's better just to like, yeah, that week's kind of done. You just, you know, scratch that week. People get mad. Like we're not green Bay.

Being like, why are you not prepared? You're like, because we don't get it, dude. We don't get it enough. We get ice and snow. I was, you know, it's these. So would you have been, I thought about this, the kids that always get out of school, you know, I might have talked about it that week. But when there's a big snow week and there's always like, and you'd be like, the roads are fine. And they're always like, well, there's some kids that we can't get to in the buses. Yeah. Would that have been where you're at?

Those were up in the woods. Yeah, there was a road. They could have got to us. You were right off the highway. Yeah, we're okay to not do it. Yeah, we had a dirt road, but it was a highway there. I mean, we were, yeah. Because I always wonder where these people, where these kids live. There's always kids that they go, well, we can't get to everybody. You're like, who? Like, I'm driving. Like, you're like, we're all driving. I mean, you have no snow. In the South, they're like, well, we can't get everywhere. You're like, is a guy on a mountain? Mm-hmm.

Like one kid that we can't get to. Right. And you could probably just do school without that kid for a day or a couple of days. I'm sure that kid's fine. That kid would love it. High school here, my dad had to make the call to do a snow day or not. Yeah.

so that was always really stressful. I would always get hit up by everybody. Like you gotta talk the old man and the counselor. My dad would wake up at like 4 a.m. and go out and drive every route possible to get to the school. And he'd be like, oh, it's fine. I like the idea that your dad would be waiting for you to, you're a, yeah. Like I have any kind of input at all. Like you should really, you know, care at all. Uh,

Many times. Your friends would text you? Oh, dude. They were like, you got to. It's unbelievable that you even have a phone. That's so crazy for me to think. In high school. In high school, your friends would text you and say, and you're like, I mean, that's so, you know. I didn't have a smartphone back then. I was using T9. So it was like the early stages of it. Yeah, yeah. No, it's not. It's just funny. It's just like there's times you have moments of feeling old where you're like, God, in high school, your friends would text you?

And that's so crazy. I know. How do you think I feel? Having a good night. Right here, this guy, they sent an owl out. A raven. A raven to see, ask the raven how the roads are. That's how they knew if they could go to school. Pa, we going to go to school?

Auburn's won five college football national championships. Alabama's won seven. Seventeen. Seventeen, yeah. Seventeen? Eighteen now. Saban's won six or seven. He's won seven now, I think, right? Yeah, seventeen. He's won above Bear Bryant, I think, now. Now, there's a bunch that people that aren't Alabama fans claim that they don't actually have. Yeah. So if you ask, Alabama fans will give you a different number than everybody else. Yeah, because there's...

There's a reason for that. Why is that? Because they claim – they didn't have the national championship, I think, back then. Yeah, for so many years, it was just a free-for-all. Teams would be like, we're the national champs. Okay, you can say that. I mean, I dig it, though. Alabama's like, nah, we have quite a few. We're going to pick that from 1900. My whole childhood, we had 12, and everyone would be like, you know they only actually have eight. Yeah.

All right. You can say whatever you want. Yeah, still more than you. Yeah. Right. Yeah. They've won more bowl games than any other team, played more bowl games than any other school. Yeah. They're the best. Yeah. When you cheat, it's easy. Go ahead. Bryant-Denny Stadium, 101,000 people, seventh largest college football stadium in America. Yeah. Talladega Super Speedway, 143,000, 13th largest stadium in the world. It's a hot track. What's the number one largest stadium?

Somewhere in like South America, I think. Yeah, like a soccer. Some soccer stadium. I've been to Talladega. Yeah, it's a good time. It's a good time. Did you watch NASCAR? Did y'all, y'all loved it? Yeah, the 90s, we were into it. Yeah. My family was into it. I mean, I was a kid. I liked, I liked Kyle Petty because he drove the mellow yellow car. Yeah. I liked mellow yellow. Yeah. Alan Kowicki. Alan Kowicki was my mom's favorite race car driver and he drove the Hooters car. Yeah. So, I was the only kid in the third grade with a T-shirt that said Hooters on the front. Bill Elliott. More than a mouthful on the back. Yeah. I mean, Bill Elliott. Yeah.

We're doing an episode on NASCAR. I would like it. Because Bill Elliott, his son races now. Yeah, Chase Elliott. Chase Elliott, and he's very good. Yeah. And I don't know NASCAR all in all, but I do like NASCAR, and I've been to some races. I've been to Talladega and Daytona with Burr, Bill Burr. Me and him went, and they—

Bill Elliott, the fun fact about him was he once lapped the entire field. That's how his car was going over 200 miles an hour. This is when they finally slowed him down because they were going too fast. And he lapped everybody. Wow. That's unreal. How do you ever get so far ahead that you lap the entire field?

Yeah, they had a name for Bill Elliott. I forget, like a nickname, something. Not Whispering. Whispering Bill Anderson. Yeah. I went to actually high school with his son. Yeah. Can you guess what country the biggest stadium in the world is in?

Did you see it? I don't know. I don't know if I saw it or not, but I wouldn't know. I'm afraid to name something because you're going to – country is going to be – I'm not going to name a country. I know. I'm just saying. I mean – Texas? Yeah. I think it's going to be worse than that. I'm like, yeah, Oklahoma City. Go ahead. North Korea. North Korea. North Korea has a stadium with 150,000 people. So we don't – yeah, we don't even really know. Yeah, they tell us that's what it is. Wow.

Michigan Stadium, third. What do they do with that field in North Korea? According to this Wikipedia entry. I don't think you want to know what they do there. That doesn't even have Talladega on there. Wow, Penn State, Ohio State, Texas A&M, Indian National Cricket Team. Man, cricket is...

I do not understand cricket at all. I don't understand it either. I would like to because so many people are watching it that I would like to. Where you want to go, I want to know. Is that where you hit with a paddle? Yeah. But they throw it and it bounces. Then they hit with a paddle into a field. It's kind of like baseball. Is it? Well, I think baseball derives from cricket. It's a lot like baseball, yeah. Yeah.

But I mean, people like the guys are the best players. It's so big. I'd like to be able to just know what's going on. Yeah. I would like to know who's the best. Who's the, like, that's what anytime I know a sport that I don't know, I want to go, well, who's, who's their LeBron right now? Well, my Jordan. Well, that's where like with hockey, Wayne Gretzky, that's why it's so fascinating. Wayne Gretzky, how good he is. Cause I know everybody talks about Wayne Gretzky, but hockey, especially here is not the most talked about thing, but Wayne Gretzky is, I mean, I,

more dominant than Jordan. I mean, he's the records he's broke. I mean, they're impossible to catch. He's the only one that they, LeBron's probably going to be the all time score. He can probably beat it. No one thought that record could ever get broken to be the all time score. It's so far ahead. And LeBron's got a real shot at it. I mean, no one's Wayne Gretzky's records are, I mean, Simon, dude, no one can, have you looked, it's like two times,

If he wouldn't have played or something, or would have left. He would have taken some years off. Years off, he would be so far ahead. We talked about it in the sports. Either, I can't remember if it was all of his assists you take away or all his goals, he would still be the leading scorer. Yeah. Wow.

Crazy. And like people that have no idea what hockey is, no Wayne Gretzky. Yeah. That's me. I don't, I mean, growing up, I was like, I know Wayne Gretzky. Yeah. Yeah. But no, he's on the Wheaties box. Just transcends the sport for sure. Yeah. Some athletes have come from Alabama. Hey, Karen. Hey. Oh yeah. My namesake.

Is it? I don't know. Yeah. Bobby and Davey Allison. Oh, yeah. Charles Barkley. Yeah. Bo Jackson. Terrell Owens. Willie Mays. That's the boxer that just came, the guy that's currently, the big heavyweight fighter. Tyson Fury? Yeah. The Fury or? Joe Namath. He won. Joe Namath. I don't know if he's from Alabama. Played at Alabama. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, Tyson Fury's who won, right? Yeah. He beat. Deontay Wilder. Deontay Wilder. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, Deontay Wilder's from Tuscaloosa. Vanderhoof. Phillip Rivers? Phillip Rivers. He's from Alabama. He's now the head coach at St. Michael.

Catholic High School in Fairhope, Alabama. Oh, that's the school you went to? My dad started the school. And this year, Phillip Rivers is now the head football coach. Your dad is his boss right now. Yeah, technically. Technically, I guess. That's pretty cool. I'm doing a show there this weekend. I think he's going to be there. That's fun. You hoped to meet him before the show. Yeah.

That's actually good advice. Yeah. Let's see here. The Auburn-Opalaka area was named by Golf Digest as the number one area for golf in the United States. All right. That's where I'm from. Yeah. I've always heard that. It's funny because I haven't really been down there to play, but yeah, they are unbelievable. Robert Crenn Jones. Yeah. Golf courses are on them. The Grand Nationals, their big one. Yeah. There's a lot of tournaments there. Mm-hmm.

Victory Land. You guys know Victory Land? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've been there a couple of times. There's no gamble. You're not allowed to gamble in Alabama. There's no lottery. There's a casino there. But Victory Land somehow exists in shorter Alabama, the dog track.

Been there a couple of times. There's a guy, a couple of stories about this guy named Butch. He just kind of hangs out there, bad teeth, mustache, suspenders. And he just, he's just hanging around. And when new people come, he helps them pick horses or dogs. And then,

When they win, he wants his cut, 10%. But apparently he lives at a hotel. I met this guy one time, and then I thought that that was just a random occurrence. And then another friend was telling me about the same guy. Wow. And it's a sad place. Yeah, he makes a living off-

He never bets. Yeah. He just goes, look, I'll tell you. He may bet, but he lives in a hotel apparently right there, and he just hangs out there all day. The first time I went, I had Vegas in mind of this horse racing, and I thought, this is going to be great. And it is just a sad bunch of people in victory land. Yeah. It does not feel much like victory in there. Yeah. Yeah.

And then there was a casino with slot machines, and then it got shut down. But they had billboards. It wasn't like they were hiding it. There were billboards on the highway, like, I won big at Victory Land. I remember that. I did a Comedy Zone gig in Alabama at a bingo hall, and it did not go well. But I thought they were pretty good.

I was with Muttsy, and he flashed a flashlight at everybody in the audience. You guys know Muttsy? No. Yeah, I do. Well, it's tough to perform for an audience younger than you. I do know Muttsy. I did a show with him. Is it the Bald Head from New Orleans? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's very funny, but he does all crowd work. Yeah. I did my cruise ship was with Muttsy.

And me, and he was, uh, I don't ever told about that. Like, yeah, you told it. Yeah. And he would flash his light, uh,

I just remember I did a joke on stage. I mean, I bombed. And I said, my favorite team's Tennessee Titans. And they go, boo. And one lady goes, roll tide. And I could not make them understand we're not competitors. I just couldn't. They weren't buying it. I'm like, we have Derrick Henry. We have a player from Alabama. Roll tide. That's so funny, man. All right.

They were booing the whole professional sport. The idea of it. Yeah. That's every gig story for Briar, by the way. I feel like they all start that way. I did this show. It did not go well. Yeah. You get yelled roll tide at more than most people do just for some reason. In Utah. Yeah. Roll tide. Huntsville did not go well for us either. That show, I was...

We were doing lunch break for people. And then as the lunch break ended, I was up doing comedy and people were leaving. The whole place was empty. I saw a video of this show. Yeah, I posted it. It was for hotel workers. You think of all people. But we did it on their lunch break. So they're going through line, just getting their food. Through a buffet. Buffet while we're doing it. And then Dusty thought, I'll get them. Yeah, Brian was up there not doing well. And I thought, well, I'll get it. No, and I did not. And they left.

Dusty refused to leave. I mean, they're vacuuming now, just cleaning the room. Yeah, I was like, I'm doing my job. And Dusty's still going. And finally, the CEO said, we got to stop. I mean, we got to. Did they? They stopped it? Yeah, he was like, you can go. Yeah, he said, you can stop. I mean, everybody was gone. But at that point, I'm like, nah, I'm just. Like, everybody's gone. In fact, how many people are really there? It was only the workers and the guy paying us. Just people cleaning up at that point. So 10 people.

Yeah, they were like clinking dishes and stuff like that. Oh, like literally the staff. So anybody that would be watching the show was completely gone. Oh, yes. Yeah. And the CEO. At that point, it was just a point of pride for me. How much time did you do? I was supposed to do 30. I probably did 25. Yeah.

Man. Yeah. Sometimes the shows that are the worst are the ones you do the most time at. Yeah. For some reason, you end up being- I'm punishing them at that point. Yeah. If you're not enjoying it, I punish you by going longer. Yeah. Remember that bowling alley show we did? Oh, yeah. What was it? In Michigan? Muskegon? Muskegon, Michigan. Something like that. At the back of a bowling alley. There's no mic. The mic didn't work. It was like, brr. There are no lights in the room, so it was like pitch black darkness. Yeah.

and there was a fake brick wall behind you. Like a plastic sign that looked like bricks held up by some PCP pipe. I can't remember. I've told my bowling alley story. Did I ever tell my opening for Jay? I don't think so. So it was in Michigan too. We performed. It was the bowling alley was had like, so when you did the show, they had to build the stage. And so you're performing bowling alleys are behind you. Now they're all dark, but

they still let bowling happen. So the whole show is you're hearing bowling. Yeah. And so I'm opening for Big J and then I'm on to, they just put the stage up, they put the lights up and all this. And so I'm doing the thing and the crowd's like sitting there and you know, you're sitting in the crowds, like sitting in like seats, like they had like actually kind of stadium seating. Cause I think they do like bowling competitions there.

And so they had kind of stadium seating and then tables, but the stadium seating was empty. No one's there. Everybody's just kind of down at the tables. And I mean, it's a lot of room. I mean, it's basically your, a whole bowling alley is kind of shut down for you except at the end.

And so when I'm up there, the spotlight goes out. So I'm just in the dark. Whole set, I'm just in the dark. And so I'm like, you know, talking. I'm like, I'm making jokes about the guy comes over, brings a ladder, climbs up with ladder, fixes the the spotlight, comes back down the ladder. Everybody claps. I go, I do it again, blah, blah. And then within three minutes, the light goes out again.

And I'm like, I got to fix it again. He goes, all right. And he goes to get the ladder that he put back. The ladder's at the other end of the boy. He put it back. All the way back. All the way back. And it's like 10 minutes for him to come back with a ladder. And there's a ton of room that you want to go, just leave the ladder. That guy's confident in his work. He was confident because this light will never go out. And I remember he just left. I was like, why would you not? And it just...

that ladder hits like just all he's up there having to fix it uh that's my bowling list i love that there's just a couple of lanes open they're like yeah we're doing a show but we need a little bowling we need a little just enough to distract the show yeah yeah uh alabama splash it splash adventure previously known as vision land you guys ever been there where was that auburn this

This is a water park and amusement park located off I-20 and 59 in Bessemer, Alabama. Oh, no, I've never been. Oh, this is what I was talking about earlier. Visionland. Visionland. Yeah. I forgot that Victoryland was a – okay. Visionland is a theme park that I've been to. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. There was a pool place called Auburn Splash where you go buy pool products, and I remember that guy had a pretty good joke one time. I was in there with my dad, and he was like, people call me all the time and go, how much does it cost to get in? He's like, nothing to get in, only when you leave with stuff. Right? Yeah.

We laughed. It was a good time. He's so proud of it. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, river chase Galleria and Hoover. I think we've all been there on a stardome run. Uh, 43rd largest mall in the U S.

Yeah. How many? I feel like after like 30, you can just stop counting those. You know, 43rd. 43rd. Yeah. There's like a sign there. He might be able to do it after 10. Yeah. Yeah. After the top 10 malls would be enough. There you go. That's enough. If you're like 11, I mean, you're 11, you want to. Now, if I'm in the 11th mall, I'm going to be like, well, I think we should still do it. I understand it. Yeah. Definitely not past 20. 43rd, you're like, dude, we're big. 25. Is that good enough? We're big. Yeah. 25.

Top 25. Biggest mall. But I mean, really 10 to me is... Yeah, if you get to 43, you're kind of like, actually, how many malls are there? Yeah. Yeah. I mean...

Do you guys know what the top tourist attraction is in Alabama? Oh, good guess. Dentist? I don't know if that makes sense. That joke that people tour and people travel down because they want to just see how are they letting people out looking like this. What about Dolphin Island? I was going to say Gulf Shores.

Well, tourist attraction, I guess. Oh. The ocean. The Peach and Clanton. No, not Clanton. The U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville. Yeah. That makes sense. That's not really. I didn't feel like a tourist attraction so much. Yeah. It is, though. I guess so. Did you go to space camp as a kid? Oh, no. Yeah. My parents knew what I was all about. I went to space camp. We did like two nights through our school. What's going on in there?

Yeah, what's going on in there? My dad doesn't. Not a whole lot. My dad told me a long time ago, he's like, I try to get him to watch Star Trek and stuff. He's like, I don't like space stuff. He's like, I don't do stuff with space. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. I don't either. Now I don't get it. I don't like it either. Yeah. I'll do a little Guardians of the Galaxy here, but I don't believe what's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't take it to heart. You're in space. You don't think that raccoon is really talking? Yeah, you say. They're in gardens and galleries and you're just saying like, you know this ain't true. And someone's like, what's that? You're like, that would sound worse than someone that didn't believe it's true. I watched a documentary. Yeah, you know that's not true. You know who's protecting us out there. Yeah, it ain't that raccoon. You're like, I don't.

Yeah, you believe in this family? Some famous people from Alabama. Courtney Cox. Oh. Channing Tatum. Oh. Yeah, I knew that. Helen Keller. Oh. I knew that. She's on the quarter.

She's on the state court. You have your own quarter. Every state has a quarter, Nate. You remember that? You don't use the universal quarter. Yeah, we don't have. I'm not saying we have our own currency. And people take it. How much is it in American money when y'all use your own quarter that y'all have that you walk in and try to pass? Is it like Canadian change at a laundromat that they go, I know what this is. You just get a hell of a gallon quarter every now and then. It's a little bigger. It doesn't matter.

I'm going to test you on this one, Nate. The most successful band in country music is from the state of Alabama. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Country band. Alabama is from, are they Alabama? Of all time or right now?

of all time. It's Alabama? Yeah, it's Alabama. Oh, yeah, for sure. They're the best. Dusty did a show with Alabama. I'll be honest with you, Aaron Lane, I think, just copies what we say and you say it right after. What are you talking about? That's what the bull in the ring was you, and then you just say, you read the bull in the ring again. And when I said describe bull in the ring, then you describe bull in the ring. And I just guessed Alabama and you were guessing again. You go, you go, is this country? You asked, after I said Alabama, you didn't go, is it country Alabama? I'm like,

he's just Aaron Lane is you're acting like you answer the question very confidently it didn't it was a lot of it was a lot of go back and forth I feel like I tried to speed it up I think Aaron Lane is trying I think yeah Aaron Lane Dusty did a show with Alabama where at

Iowa, Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Oh, nice. Yeah. With the band though, huh? Yeah, with two of the members. One of the guys is not doing well, but yeah. Toody Jeffrey? Yeah, I think so, yeah. But it was great. I mean, I went out in the audience to watch and then a lady was like, hey, you ever, you know how to milk cows? And I was like, no. And she's like, she was shocked.

She was like, do you want to? And then she was like trying to get me to come over to her house. She was like, my husband's getting real drunk tonight. I need help milking the cows. I was like, I'm not sure what you're talking about. I don't think that. There's no cows there. There's no cows there. Yeah. I don't think, yeah. The world's largest office chair. I think she doesn't think too highly of herself. Yeah.

You're looking up the world's largest office chair? Yeah. In Anniston, Alabama. Oh, yeah. You know this chair? No, but I know Anniston. Yeah, that's Dusty's car. That's his garage. They would park under it for the tornado. Get under the chair, everybody! And then it comes.

I like that the ad is another chair, though. They're like, you looking for a chair? Are you looking for a big chair? Paul Bunyan, the only person I could ever see that. What makes that an office chair? That looks like patio. Like a waiting room chair. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what office chairs look like back in my day. Yeah. No wheels. Well, if they had wheels, they would never really get it back. You know? Yeah, that's true. It would be at a trailer park. It would be over a trailer. Drag it over. Yeah.

Oh, that's funny. Here's a stat for you, Nate. 43% of all snails in the U.S. live in Alabama. Wow. Really? That does move a little slower down there. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot of snails down there. We've talked about this. Too many. Because of the ocean? I feel like I don't remember. I feel like that makes it sound like you'd run into them all the time. I don't remember there being a snail problem. I used to see a lot of slugs.

Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Are we counting slugs, you think, maybe? I thought they were the same. Yeah. Slug just kind of feels like a snail without a shell. Yeah, he just hadn't found one yet. Yeah, yeah. He will. He'll get there. It'll take a while. It'll take a while. Yeah, because you could put salt on slugs and kill them. And I used to go out there all the time and put all this salt on them. Yeah. And kill them all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know why I was doing it. I was a kid. So you got into the weed business. Yeah. The weed killing business. Yeah, they recruited me. Yeah. They be heard. This guy's the best. You were going to kill things? You're like, well, not live, not the same as animals. You ever been to the Unclean Baggage Center in Scottsboro? No, I have heard about it, though. I've heard about it. We've talked about it on here before. They had all kinds of like, they had a rattlesnake we learned and all kinds of stuff they found there. Yeah.

ARAB Alabama was originally ARAD Alabama. It was supposed to be named after the founder's son, but they misspelled it. Wow. On the water tower, right? Well, that's according to Henry Cho's joke. I couldn't find that. Okay. This just says they misspelled it at the U.S. Postal Service, so they just kept it ARAB. ARAB Alabama. When they filed the paperwork to incorporate the town, they just spelled it wrong. That's another, like, my Vietnamese. Like the...

A-Rab, Alabama, where they go, where are you from? I go from A-Rab, Alabama. You're like, okay, man. Yeah. That's enough. All right. That's rude. And you're just like, what? That's what it is. That's what it sounds like. Yeah. But what about the people in the town that knew it as A-Rab? And they were like, well. Yeah. I don't know when that was. They're like, I'm from A-Rab. And they're like, well, that doesn't exist. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. I kind of took it. It was just a group of people kind of started living here. It was like, we should call this a town. And then the guy's like, well, my son's name A-Rad. And they were like, cool, let's call it A-Rad. A-Rad town. And then they changed it. A-Rad town. A-Rad town. A-Rad town. Yeah. And now it's not. Now it's A-Rad town. Yeah.

This is a callback from last week. Jesse James. You guys remember Jesse James? Yeah. Last week we did Outlaws and I had all these cool facts. Oh, Jesse, not like the tattoo artist. No, no, no. I was like, you guys know Doc Holliday was really a dentist? And they were like, who's Doc Holliday? Oh, man. Yeah. I knew Doc Holliday. Not we. I knew Doc Holliday. All right, well. Don't throw me in. He never heard of him. You didn't know Doc Holliday? Never heard the name. Wow. Wow.

You don't know the I'm your Huckleberry? That whole thing? No, we went over it. Yeah, we didn't watch the movie. I didn't watch the movie either, but I've heard his name. He's never heard of even Doc Holliday. Wow. I'll be your Huckleberry. That's what I always said. Huckleberry Finn. I don't know why we thought that was so cool that he would say that, but I did it. It does sound cool. I don't know what it means, but it sounds cool. Yeah.

Well, anyway, Jesse James was hiding out in Nashville, which I think we mentioned last week. He went down to Alabama, Killin, Alabama, near Florence, and did his last robbery at the Blue Water Camp because they knew the guy who was collecting the paychecks was going to be there, or the money. He robbed him for $5,200, and then he came back to Nashville to hide out, but one of his crew...

stopped at a saloon on White's Creek Pike, which we know White's Creek Pike. It's not the best saloons there. And got into a fight and got arrested. And then he had all this money on him. So then they're like, Jesse James gang probably won. And Jesse James had to leave Nashville because of it. It was his last robbery though. Yeah. What year is it?

Let's just say 1874. Okay. You know, Opelika is a railroad town, and they said that it was so bad back in the day that when the train would come through, they would instruct people to duck down in the plane because people in downtown Opelika would shoot at the train. Wow. Like old kind of Wild West days. Yeah. Like they just didn't like the train. Yeah. Or they were just drunk and they had nothing going on. And that seems like that's still going on in a lot of ways. Yeah.

Do you have the $5,200? How much that is? Yeah. The relative income worth. Like, what is that worth now? Yeah. You want to guess? $50,000. Yeah. $91,000. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You know when a... Like in a... Like a truck...

like a truck gets loose on an interstate and they have to go up that ramp that slows them down. That's where I feel like we're at with this podcast. We are basically almost stopped. I'll be honest with you. It feels... We were a truck rolling and we're not hitting the ramp. We're almost... The truck drivers are already taking a sigh of relief. That's how much this... Well, that's how I feel about every podcast I do. I do my own and every time I'm like, what?

What have I been talking about? I don't know. Well, we're at two hours. I'll wrap this up. Alabama has three comedy clubs, regular comedy clubs. Stardome. Carlos Mincy is there this weekend. Stand Up Live in Huntsville. I'll be in. Nate Barganci is there this weekend. Yes. Yep. Yep. He just found out. I am there this weekend. And Crown Comedy Club in Auburn, which Dusty Slay's at this weekend. Boom. Wow. All right. We're crushing Alabama right now. Yeah. And I'm going to Hoover the next weekend. In Stardome? Yep. Nice. Nice.

And we did, I don't know if I have to, but I did a ranking of the Nashville, top Nashville comedians because we've had a lot of people move here. Yeah. And I did it by age. This is your own? This is your ranking? Well, I think it's pretty. So rankings in, how's it ranked?

By age. By age. Stop for a second because I got to pull it back up. Well, I wish I'd have brought it up now. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm anxious to hear it. I think people are allowed to take a break. All right. Well, then I'll say today is... No, I think I'm saying people are like, this whole podcast has been a break. I think they're having a great time. No, I'm joking. They're having fun. I will mention then that today we're doing this on Sunday's National Pi Day. Oh. Oh.

Oh, how about that? 3.14, et cetera, et cetera. Et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. Yeah. 3.14. Tomorrow is the Ides of March. Yeah. Which is when Julius Caesar was murdered. Wow. And the day this podcast comes out, St. Patrick's Day. Yeah. Which is when St. Nick brought toys to all the good kids in Ireland. Yeah. Wow. This is a lot of stuff. Remember when he got that mixed up? Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

That's a good time. All right. I probably should have stalled on that. No, that was a terrific stall because now look at this. You got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just a couple clicks away. All right. So this is pretty authentic, I think. Top Comedians by Age, Dusty. All right. It's up on the screen there, too. Okay, okay. Yeah. Jeff Allen, we all know him. Yeah. He's been a veteran comic for some time. All right. You got to say the ages because people are watching, people listening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in the 60s, Jeff Allen. If your age is in your 60s. Okay. All right.

Which we assume he's in his 60s. We don't know. I think that's... Yeah. Yeah. I think that's accurate. Could be insulting either way. 50s, Kathleen Madigan. Yep. Okay. Yep. We don't see Kathleen much, but she's been in Nashville probably about five years, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. This is a minimum. You got to live here a minimum of two years. Yeah. So all these newcomers don't count. 40s, Brian Bates, obviously. Obviously. He's great. Obviously. Barely hanging in there.

I mean, moments away. I'll bump Kathleen. Yeah. It just rolls on up. I wanted Henry Cho in the 50s, but Aaron said we needed some diversity. I'm like, Henry's Asian. What else do you need? That's not good.

He's from A-Rab. I was not involved in this at all. Just let that be known. 30s, Dusty Slade. All right. Okay, I'll agree with that. 20s, Aaron Weber. Okay. I'll be gone pretty soon. Yeah. Well, then you and Dusty can find out. And then the 10s, Nate's nephew, Caleb. How old's Caleb? What is he? 12, 13? 13 now. He may hold this for a while. Yeah, he's in there. Once, twice? He's in Zany's twice, my nephew Caleb. Very funny. Him and they wrote jokes and...

He did very good. The first set, he went up and did. I was doing the Headlines Zanies. My dad was opening. And then he brought Caleb up. And Caleb went up and destroyed. Destroyed. And did very good and brought me up. And he's just so confident. And then the next – my brother teaches at – he goes to the school my brother's at. And they teach this. And my brother's like, well, we're doing a –

what is it? Talent show. Yeah. Like at school. He's like, you should do your standup. And Caleb goes, I don't know. You know, I mean, he's like, they're just not going to get my stuff. He's done one gig and he's already going like, come on, I'm not, I perform at comedy clubs. He threw me that gig. Yeah. I got this gig. I don't want it, but.

That was very zany. He's paid him. We wrote him a check from Zany's and he got paid. And I mean, really worked hard at it. Him and my sister really helped and they did really good. I think it's a good move not to do stand up at the school though.

I wouldn't want to do stand up at my own school. Well, that's what he said. He goes, I'm not going to, you know, he's above it. I mean, college, I did a comedy at a college way back before I was ready for it. And I had a joke where I go, I had this girl come over to my apartment the other night and this guy goes, no, you didn't. Pretty good. Yeah, that's good. All right. So that's it.

Was that it? Yeah, I think that's it. That was it. We did it. All right, everybody. This week...

Oh, we could do pound. Oh, God. This is like you're awkward coming out. Are you going through puberty on the podcast? You just started just pounding Dusty on camera. Oh, man. Is that crazy to do? Just, hey, the episode's ending. Thanks for coming by. We're friends. You know, you say it afterwards. It's not the same thing to do. I think it's, you know, yeah, afterwards you say it. How are you going to sign off?

I was going to just say goodbye like normal. I'm not going to get up and pound everybody. I figured while you were doing that, the camera would be on you. I figured that was a genuine moment. That wasn't for the camera. An Aaron Land camera would catch that. Aaron Land would have had it. That's right. That's how we end every show on Aaron Land. Well, yeah. There you go. Oh, never mind. He doesn't know that move. He doesn't see it.

We do a handshake back there. So, yeah. This week, folks, The Greatest Savage American, Netflix. Please watch it. Please tell everybody that you can. As always, Dusty Slay. Check him out. All his dates that he's got coming up. His website. Very, very funny. He's got a very funny podcast. Very funny podcast. What's your podcast called? Oh, the We're Having a Good Time podcast. The We're Having a Good Time podcast. So make sure you check that out. You have dates? More dates? Yeah.

I'll be at the Grand Ole Opry pretty soon. All right. Yeah. Grand Ole Opry. That's good. You know, you'd be, are you going to mention, uh, the podcast we're doing? Yeah. So, uh, yes, I should have probably opened with this. We can talk about it more, uh,

We're mentioning more next week, but we are doing a live Nate Land podcast at Zaney's. When is it? April 15th. April 15th. Thursday night. Thursday night. Tickets are on sale now.

So go get your tickets. Yeah, if you've made it, this is a little, you know, you're getting the first shot if you had it. This is the deep cuts for the real fans that made it to the end. Yeah, we've already fist bumped. They go, a bunch of people turned off right away. That's how they know it's over. They go, once Aaron gives the signal, he gives a fist bump. I'm going to ask all the other guests if they ever, if you fist bump anybody else.

That's not an insane thing to do, man. I mean, he didn't respond to it. That's why he was surprised by it. He was looking at you. He was being a good guest. I don't think it's insane to do it. I think you do it after the show. But you understand, I wasn't doing it for the camera. It was just kind of a personal... I just happened to catch it in there. The way I caught it was like, nailed it, bro. I mean, it wasn't my best ever nux, but... Yeah, yeah.

April 15th, if you want to experience this live at Zany's. I don't know what exactly we're going to be doing. I think we have some ideas, though. I think we're going to take some live comments. It will probably be a comment-heavy show. Honestly, I think we're going to do some stand-up, too. If you want to come check it out, each of us do just a few minutes. Nothing crazy, but just a little some set.

and then do a recorded little podcast. And we'll make sure to put the podcast out so you guys can hear it that are not in Nashville. But April 15th, Zany's. Go check it out. And yeah. All right. Do you want to mention that you're giving up soda? Oh, so this is a lot. This is a real good decoy. Yeah, this is a long one. That Nux was premature. I'm sorry. Premature. Premature. How do you say mature?

Mature? Well, you just let him. I don't think we needed to leave him. I don't say premature. Well, Brian does. You say premature? Well, I used to. I don't anymore. There's a lot of things I don't do anymore. He used to be a doctor in a barn. And that's how they said it. That's a very funny job to have. Doctor in a barn.

This is for the Patreon people at home. No, we don't have Patreon, but this is the... So, yeah. So I did... I'm glad I told you because I would have said it. God, I would have got away with it. But I want to quit drinking...

cokes soda yeah which you would you always say coke growing up oh yeah everything's a coke yeah and then you go from there yeah i'd be like you want a coke you go yeah you're like are we like that's what yeah for sure yeah so uh that's how i did it but i want to i need to be drinking uh i want to lose weight i think soda is a big problem for me i drink a lot of it i think i drink i'll have at least if i'm not going out to eat i'll have two probably two to three

At least two. Diet Pepsi? Diet Pepsi. A little bottle, though. Yeah. 10-ounce, 12-ounce bottle, something like that. At least two. If I go to a restaurant, I'm going to have four because they go more and they keep bringing them out. And I kind of forget that. In my head, that counts as one, but I'm having four.

But there's ice in there though. There's ice in there. So it's a last. Yeah. Uh, that's how they get you. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And they, so, uh, so I was like, you know what? I need, I want to quit drinking, uh, Cokes and soda products. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to say it on a podcast and, uh, I'm going to stop the day my special comes out. So I won't have any soda that day.

Start that day? Start that day. Just one day, March 18th. You can do it, buddy. That's the very greatest average American thing to do, one day. How many Cokes have you had today? I've had one at McDonald's today. Laura's gone, so yeah, boy. So I've had one, and I'll have one more when I eat. I might have two to three more. It depends on how much I eat.

But that, or one to two more will be the most. But I do it every day. Yeah. And I think diet, I think even though it's diet, I drink diet Pepsi. Diet's the worst. I think diet, I think it leads me to other bad, it makes me want other bad stuff.

Like you won't go eat McDonald's if you're not – can't have Diet Coke. I won't. I just can't imagine eating a Big Mac and drinking it with water. I don't think I'd want popcorn. None of this stuff. Pizza is a little like you want Coke with pizza. Like all these kind of things that I eat that are bad, I always want a diet drink to do it with. Yeah.

And so to me, I'm just trying to pick, like, I need to lose some weight. I need, like, I'm working out. I just, like, nothing, the top part of something's not going down. And so I was like, you know what? I think if I just targeted, it's not good for you anyway to drink all that. If I targeted Cokes and I was like, let's just start there. And then we can see, maybe that's a problem. So March 18th, I am starting to the day that my special comes out.

I would not drink soda. You know, they say now, who knows, right? I'm no, I'm no barn doctor, but the, they say diet, diet Coke keeps you from losing weight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's something in there that doesn't, doesn't let you lose weight. Yeah. I don't know if that's true. Sugar.

But yeah, it's like aspartame. There's some weird stuff in there. But they started getting rid of aspartame. But it gives you the taste, the cravings to want other things that are sugar. And so I don't know if it's the problem, but that's the one consistent thing.

thing that i was like if i can just drink water i could tend to eat healthier things because you know salad is okay with water yeah and like or so i don't i don't know i have no idea i might be completely wrong with no i get tough to have a salad and a coke yeah that doesn't seem right i do it but i mean i still do it yeah and i could drink a soda i would drink diet coke if i was working out as my liquid i would be fine with that i i'm a big fan uh

So, yeah, so I figured on my special. So I was just saying to y'all, I didn't even really say anything to y'all because I don't want to throw it on you that you're like, you got to quit something too. But you just quit. You've already quit some stuff, right? You don't want to tell?

Yeah. Don't say it if you, because I mean, everybody knows. Okay. We'll talk about it off camera. Yeah. Yeah. So when you feel ready. I'm afraid to do anything during the show now. So I won't wait until after and then we'll talk. Yeah. Well, the crew's already leaving. The crew's already leaving. Tristan's already put his chair away. He's like, I got to go. Yeah.

Well, I'm saying you don't want to because you don't want the audience to know. You're right. And if anybody else wants to quit something, then you just let us know. And we can keep you – let's see how many we got. We might keep you accountable. We might call you out and be like, how are you doing? Yeah. And you have to answer us.

That'd be pretty good. I like that. I'll answer you. If you, if someone even sees me out and they can, they can look and see me, they can make sure I'm drinking. I'll drink tea. Unsweet tea could be count. Not sweet tea. It's gotta be unsweet or water. I just think no Coke products are sweet. Okay. You need those kinds of drinks. Uh, probably juices are fine. Uh, right. Coffee. Fine. Okay. Uh,

but no Diet Cokes for me. No, no. No, yep. None of that. So if you have something that you want to quit and you can just tell us whenever, like, hey, I want to quit this. We'll keep a running tab. Should they email probably best? Email. Email's probably the best.

It's better than my nose whistle comments. So yeah, please send us that. Nateland at natbargetsy.com. If you want to quit something, that's pretty fun. I've been a hold of people accountable. Everybody wants to quit something. Everybody wants to. So quit. And then if we, and we won't be calling everybody out every time, but when we call your name to check on you, you have to respond. Yeah.

You have to be honest. I'll be completely honest if I fall apart and have a Diet Coke. I'll tell you the truth. And so you do it too. That's why I put all this at the end so no one gets to it. What are you quitting?

Well, nose whistling first off. And don't worry, he did that. That was the first step. So let's just get past that and then we'll go from there. All right. Thank you guys. As always, we love you guys. All right. Fist bumps around, baby. High fives. High fives. Yeah, yeah. All right. Next week. See you.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.