#29 Rhode Island
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Trace for yourself with 25% off at ritual.com slash podcast. What's up, everybody? Hello. Hello, folks. I've been saying what's up, everybody. Welcome to Nate land. We are glad you're here. Right before we get started, I do want to acknowledge we do obviously realize that the world is crazy and a lot of stuff is going on. And

Look, as I always said with this podcast, uh, we are here to be a distraction. If you need a distraction, I think you do need it at some times. I think if you're just watching the news all day long, you can drive yourself crazy. And if you need a break, our job is to be that break. So of course we realize stuff is going on. Uh,

But that's not what we're here to do. And the way I've looked at us, we're like the band that plays on the Titanic. We're just the music as the ship sinks. Gentlemen, it's been an honor podcasting with you. Yeah, it's been an honor. So try to be as sane as possible out there. Be normal if you need a break. Obviously, that's what we're here for. But I didn't, you know, because then people are like, why are you not going to?

know, no one, none of the regular folks say that, but sometimes you get people like, Oh, we can't, they just want it to be like, everything's gotta be the thing that they're looking up, you know? Yeah. But just scroll bias. If you're, if you're in a news and I think it's good, but if you're in a real news hunt, then just, yeah, slide right bias. Never would be upset about that. Uh, but maybe you need a break, uh, which a lot of people should be taking breaks, get crazy. Uh,

So, welcome. We're glad you're here. Podcast about nothing. The Titanic band thing's pretty good, right? I like that. That's a great analogy, actually. Yeah. I was thought about, you know, as we continue to describe what we are. I was like, that is just every... Because that band plays...

And you're like, why are they playing? You're like, why not? What do you want them to do? You want him to grab something? Enough people are saving the world. You just need someone to be like, oh, look at that. You tell the kids, look, the song's going. And they're like, oh. Would you ever sit there and watch that band? What if you just were on the Titanic and you're like, it's happening. I'm going to enjoy your show. Were they good?

I mean, I think you're not being picky at that as the ship goes down. I don't think you're, if you're on the Titanic and it's going down, you're not like, this is not good. Are these guys any good? Your options are not just through the roof. You're like, let's go see if there's another band playing. Maybe there's another band playing on the other side of the ship. I think you're just happy to have something. I bet they're amazing. I bet you would go there. If you ate food, if someone said, try this steak.

As the ship went down, you would go, that's one of the best steaks I've ever had in my life. Because it might be the last. You don't want to be too good, though. They'd be like, you're going to get on this escape route? No, man, I'll finish this song. Obviously. What did they go, can we get on a boat? You're like, you guys are killing it what you're doing, man. Just stay over there, you know, as everybody goes away. It would be, then if everybody does get off the boat, and then you're like, oh, we could have got off? You're like, yeah, you should have got off. I don't know why y'all kept playing. No one was even listening. Yeah.

to the music. So there is that aspect. Maybe they shouldn't be playing and they should get on a boat and get safe. Some guy wrote an original. He goes, all right, we're going to play the news. We're going to play some of our new stuff. Like, do you play the hits or do you play your new stuff with that? I think you got to play the hits. Yeah. Can't just think I want to try something. All right. Uh,

So we're going to start off, as always, with your comments. We love hearing from all you guys. Comments on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Apple Podcast Reviews, and NateLand at NateBargetzi.com. First up, Dan Sterling. Maybe? I think so. Sterling. S-T-U-Y-R. Sterling. Dan Sterling. With everything going on, I just need to turn off my brain, and this podcast is the perfect answer for that.

It reminds me of turning on reruns of The Office to fall asleep. That's who we are. It always brings a smile to my face and is so comforting. Nate, you are supremely talented and incredibly funny. One of my absolute favorite comedians, Aaron Barnaby. Hope you're doing well. That's so funny. Hope you guys are good, man. I, yeah, it's, did you have your show? No, it's Wednesday. Tonight. Tonight.

So if you're hearing, when you're hearing this, if you haven't got tickets, Zany's. Yeah, man. Aaron Weber, like the grill Weber, is at Zany's. Noah, Noah stopped in the middle of his, Noah Stalka. We had a dog named Noah.

No offense, Noah. You know, people take that offense. My buddy, Rich Day, his wife's name, which we're friends with his wife, her name's Holly. And so we have a Holly. But I always do people get... I'd be honored.

If they named a dog after you. Yeah, I think so. Aaron would be a weird dog name. Why would that be weirder than Holly? Aaron. Come here. If you go yell out Aaron. Sounds like you're growling. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. You could just say it regularly, too. You don't have to. Hey, Aaron. Here's our dog, Aaron. If you walked in and I said, oh, let me introduce you to Aaron, no one's going to think, oh, a dog's about to come. But I guess Holly would be. I like human names for dogs always make me laugh.

I had a dog named Franklin, and it always cracked me up. Franklin's not bad. What about Jim? Have you named the dog Jim? Jim might be too human. I wonder if anybody had a Jim dog. Here's Jim. We just got a puppy, and we were deciding the name. We were reading about it. It said, make sure you don't call them by anything close to a command you may also be giving them. Yeah. So if it's Sit, don't name your dog. Sid. Sid.

Sid, okay. Is Jim close to something that you're telling your dog to do? No, I'm not saying that. I'm just telling the dog to work out. Dog's getting a little big during COVID. That's interesting. Noah Stalka. This episode started with the worst topic so far and ended up being the best episode so far. It makes me wonder how bad of a topic can Nate Bravo and Aaron work with?

Personally, I'd love to see an episode on light switches. I would love to try to do an episode on light switches. Yeah, me too. I do like that it's... You got to go to a... Because I always think if someone... If one of the folks... If you...

If someone introduces our podcast to them, I mean, it's definitely got to be explained. It can't be like, no, check this podcast out, and you walk away. You got to be like, no, you got to stick with it. You're going to watch an episode on calendars, and they're like, I don't care. And you're like, they don't either, to be honest. You're watching everybody not care about calendars. But it works for some reason. You just, you know, this is what...

Being a comedian is you got to just have stuff to talk about to be funny. Obviously, the main point of this podcast is to have jokes and laugh. So we got to talk about something and it just can't be. And when you try not to keep it serious, you got to talk about calendars. Meg Scovel. Nate is one of my favorite comedians. However, no unscripted podcast needs to be over an hour. In my opinion, this podcast would benefit from tighter editing.

That's an attack on our editors. They're all in the room and they could tighten it up a little bit. I think as of now, there's zero editing, right? They take out some stuff.

Brian's rarely shown in this podcast. I've never watched it. I just assumed I was in there. Yeah, there you go. It's just blurred. Blurred my face. Yeah, that's just the top of your head. They just got to get some... Just take the shine off. It looks like a sun dog. Nate, Aaron, and sun dog over there. Just...

That's great. Thank you, Meg, for your... I do love it. You know, you do take advice or criticism. I think it's good. But Meg, you can turn off now because we read your quote. So, you know, with it being over an hour, I get it. It's one of those... It is a weird thing that you think, should it be just quicker and tighter? But then it's like, no, I mean, it's...

You know, because it's like, well, just don't listen to it. Yeah, you can turn it off after an hour. If Meg's on a tight schedule. Meg's busy. Yeah. You can just turn it off. I mean, if you skip the comments. Yeah. If you don't want to read comments, it's 20, 30 minutes. So skip that and you're roughly at an hour. Then, and it's a...

Yeah, if it's unscripted. It is unscripted. What if it was? We're like, well, Meg, we are pretty on script. I don't know what she's talking about. It could even be worse. Yeah. I think we would be too tight. Two hours is, yeah. I mean, I think people listen throughout the week.

probably that's what you do. Podcasts are kind of coming. They're just always there. When I listened to them, I've been doing it with movies lately at night. I don't want to watch the whole thing. So I just started, I started this movie with Jason Statham, uh, redemption. It's on Netflix. Uh, and I, you know, Jason Statham. So you're like, all right, this will be just a fun. And it's, uh, it's like, he's trying to get serious and it's tough. Uh, it's,

You know, it's like when you're like, just do the thing. He still does the thing he does. There's some fight scenes. But it's... I mean, I started, you're like... It's a long...

It's a long road to see that first fight. But I feel like it's Jason Statham going, no, but I'm a good actor. And you're like, yeah, yeah. No one's not saying that. But you can't... You're not Tom Hanks, Jason. So let's just kind of do what you do. All right? Redemption from the creator of Eastern Promises. I have no idea what that is. Yeah, I don't know either. But...

I promise it's not. That's a weird credit to use. I promise it's better than redemption. That's what its promises are. Matt Griffey, I completely lost it at the Juicy Fruit 5 joke. Biscuit coming in hot with great one-liners. Loving the podcast more and more each week. Thank you, Matt. That was a good one. Juicy Fruit 5. Mark Johnson, the check writing bit using the animal of the year from the Chinese calendar for the date, to me, is the best moment from these podcasts.

Genius Comedy Minds, thanks Nick, Aaron, and Brochure for making us all laugh and forget what we've all been going through. He did it, everybody. Yeah. Which I enjoy that. Brochure is pretty good. Brochure is a very, that's a funny word. Yeah. Brochure. It's spelled funny and it sounds funny. All right.

That's fair. Yeah. Mark gets it because he's a comedy disease also. Me and Mark are on the same wavelength. Skywest7. I'm an airline pilot and I started off the PA before landing with, hello, folks. No idea if anyone got the joke. Going to assume they didn't, but it made me laugh. And that's really all that matters. Keep up the good work. I love it. Yelled hello, folks.

I don't know if anybody would have. That would have been great. No one would put it together. Because people say, I've seen folks everywhere now. You see people say it a lot more because when you notice it, then you're like, oh, a lot of people say folks. Hello, folks. That would be a good greeting on a plane. Maybe right before you hit the mountain. Hello, folks. Sorry to bother you, but we are about to hit a mountain.

And it's like, wow, that took it. That message took a turn. Goodbye, folks. Goodbye, folks. Hello, folks. We're about to hit a mountain. Goodbye, folks. Seth Essendrop, the Jewish calendar's only appearance. It's only appearance. It's a Star Wars character. The Jewish calendar's only appearance was in a classic Weber comment that went completely unnoticed and everyone else rushed to get their point across.

How could you not talk about the fact that Jewish kids get to celebrate two separate birthdays every year? That's gold, Jerry. It's gold. That's just off the top of my head, and there's got to be a lot more to discover, but it feels like Birmingham melded in this week.

As crazy as it sounds, I think you should do a sequel calendar episode to remedy the situation. I mean, we, I love Meg's like, yeah, I got to tighten it up. And Seth's like, y'all should do calendar part two. Meg and Seth. Just get them together in a room. She's like, I don't know. I don't know.

We need both of them as the producers also on the podcast to be like, what are you guys thinking? Meg's just constantly trying to go, I mean, what are we doing? They have two birthdays? And Jewish kids get two separate birthdays? I don't know. My fiance's Jewish. That's how I knew about their calendar. She doesn't celebrate two birthdays, so I don't know. I don't know what that's all about. Maybe Seth melded in. Yeah. Oh. I take offense to that comment. Yeah. Brochure is upset. Yeah.

Birmingham. Yeah. Bro sure is getting upset. Birmingham. Missy Safner. I listen to a lot of podcasts and I usually skip through the ads, but that isn't the case with Nate trying to sell me things.

I sometimes laugh harder at the ads because it seems like it may be the first time Nate is reading it. It cracks me up to think that a company is paying you to sell their product, and Nate is like, yeah, I got this. And then he doesn't got this. But to be fair, it's working. And I have a lot of cereal in my cupboard now. Thanks for all you guys are doing to make the world laugh. Magic spoon, that's what she's got. That's his. We're not going to lie. We've had some companies.

They've reached back out and they, I mean, they're, they are like, ah, I mean, we're going to get down to just companies that are like big, like they just choose easy word companies. We can't, we can't do anything complicated, just basic kind of stuff. Hello guys. If you've tried out a pencil, you write with it and it's a pencil, right?

What was the one you said he did last week that someone pointed out? Oh, somebody pointed out in the comments where it was the Helix Sleep Pad where it was the deluxe edition. And he said the dusk loose edition. And none of us caught it because we were like, no way. He meant to say deluxe. Yeah, dusk loose. I just thought it was a brand of mattress. There's not a lot of dust. Dust or dusk?

Dusk loose. Dusk loose, yeah. So it's like at night. Exactly. It's for the person that goes to bed a little earlier than most. And they get a little loose. Yeah, Helix. Yeah, guys, just go buy this stuff and do us, help us out. Because they are all going to back away from this podcast. Like, they're...

You guys got to help me out. All right. I need y'all just be buying this stuff. Just kind of get the name that I say and then just go with it and say he's doing great. Let them know we like what he's selling, but we can't understand. Why would they give you all this read? I mean, I read it before Laura. Laura went and typed it out easier. Yeah.

Laura goes through it. That's Laura's work is just going, I make her take all the apostrophes, any grammar. I'm like, don't put that in there. When I read, if the word's don't, we get a low battery on the phone. We got a landline. Landline that's Wi-Fi. How does that work? It's a Wi-Fi call? Yeah. But that's not the point of it, right? That might as well have a cell phone.

I said, get a land. We want a landline. And Laura said, they don't do that anymore, which I don't believe at all. That was their answer to it. Well, they don't make those anymore. Well, they have to. Landlines have to be still being made. Yeah, I would think so. And she goes, they don't. When was the last time you talked on a landline?

uh the main reason is for when i do radio calls yeah so when you have to call new radios it's just better to have a that phone is still better than sound quality on a normal phone is amazing amazing yeah and so when you do when you call and have to do other radio stuff it's better to actually do a landline but i mean that's why i want an actual landline laura just got another cell phone number uh days she did this weekend she ordered uh

We're having some construction done in our house. So Laura orders pizza for the construction workers, being very nice. Laura always puts baskets out for the delivery guys with waters and stuff. And then gives the construction guys stuff too. And so she ordered pizzas, three large pepperoni pizzas at 3 p.m., which is when most of America does not eat lunch. But she figured late night snack, they thought, you know, whatever. They would get it and they've been working hard all day.

And right before the pizza gets here, we watch them all leave. So then we just have three large pepperoni pizzas. They just all come. I mean, they drove by the pizza guy. Oh, yeah. I mean, Lars just spent $60 on pizza, and they're just like, well, I guess we're eating pizza for the next month. Ashley Sandu. My dad and many family members are friends of...

Oh, and friends. Sorry. My dad and many family members and friends work at Eastman Chemical Company. The headquarters are in Kingsport, Tennessee. He followed the Eastman calendar at work until the mid to late 80s. Wow. It's a long time. Yeah.

That guy, I mean, just an explanation of that to other regular people. Yeah, a few people commented that Kodak was just a name he invented because he liked the K sound. Yeah. So he put it on the front and the back. So Eastman was the man. Yeah. Oh, for Kodak. Yeah. It wasn't like an Eastman and then a Kodak. No. He created Kodak. Yeah. And yeah, it's huge in Kingsport, the Eastman Chemical Company. A few people commented they liked the calendar. Yeah. Yeah. So it made it easier with payroll and stuff.

Oh. They used it. Well, the main days were all still right, right? I think they had like a 28-day calendar, like the first day of the week. Yeah. It's always going to start on the first or something like that. I mean, it just causes a mess. Can you go on Mouse Tuesday? Okay. Okay.

Which calendar is it? Your Tuesday or my Thursday? What time do you want to... That's when you have to set up calls in different time zones. Danny Pritchard. Aaron, your foot pain sounds like gout. I'm 66 years old and just started experiencing gout in my foot. And it is an identical feeling to what you described. I'm much older than you. You're a big boy. Okay.

And obesity is something that can cause gout. I'm sorry, dude. That is like, I mean, Danny Pritchard just said, Aaron, can I talk to you privately for a second? And sat you down and goes, I don't know how to tell you this, man. I will say, if you sent me a message or a DM or an email about the fact that I might have gout,

I'm sorry I haven't responded. I got dozens. Yeah. Dozens of messages. Yeah. People say I need to get my uric acid level checked. Yeah. When I get a doctor, I'll be sure to do that. But I need to get a doctor first. Yeah, you'll be all right. Yeah, I'll be all right. But thank you. Thank you, everybody. Go to Walgreens.

And just go up to the front and go, how you doing? I think you can ask the cashier. Hey... Not even the pharmacy, just the cashier in the front? Can you test my uric acid? Hey, my left foot hurt. You think it's gout? Hey, I'm not even 30 yet, and I might have gout. So can you take a look at that, please? She's going to go, that makes sense. I think you got your answer there. You don't need a doctor. You just mention it here. We got doctors on here. Yeah, we do. So you just say what your problems are, and then they...

I think this is, if gout feels like the higher percentage. Yeah. Was there any other fun? Yeah, there was, there was, um, diabetes and yeah, just nerve damage in general. I think a few others. I mean, this is worse than looking up online. It's just, I mean, just everybody's, everybody gets the, but everyone wants to make sure you're fine. Yeah. What, what is gout?

Yeah, gout's a tough one. That's tough to say. All I know about gout is that it's in the Adam Sandler Lunch Lady song. He says that the lunch lady has gout. Yeah. And that put kind of a stigma on it for me, personally. Yeah, you don't want it. So I hope I don't have it. You don't have it, but... But I'll get it checked out, just for everybody's peace of mind. Yeah, because I don't see how you don't have it, to be honest. Did you cancel your gym membership? Oh, no, but somebody commented that I could do that with a letter. Mail him a letter. Oh, that's nice. Which is...

I'm not sure if that's easier. Hello, folks at Planet Fitness. My name is Aaron Weber, as in the grill. And I would like to cancel my fitness plan with you, as you might have noticed. I can't really remember even which building I signed up at. Never been. Also found out I have gout. So having trouble standing on my foot.

Sorry, dude. Sign Danny Pritchard for Aaron Ware. Jeff Macalino. Macalino. Macalino. You were talking about doctors in the pod today and made me think of mine. I've had a new doctor for the last couple years, and during my annual physicals, he pulls up. Oh. I put a...

I can't read fast. That's the problem. I get ahead of my, you know. We're not in a rush. Yeah, we got time. No, I know, but I'm saying that's why I get going. I mean, I get, we get moving, and then I just, I get started off wrong. During my annual physicals, he pulls up Google to look things up. Last year, he Googled a cream I could use for sunspots.

This year I couldn't hold back my laughter as he gave me a test he found on Google to see if I should be diagnosed with alcohol abuse disorder. I passed the test. Apparently Google can replace medical school. Jeff, you might need a new doctor. That's, I mean, very funny. Yeah. That this guy, you're like, did you go to med school? He's like, I mean, I Googled a med school thing.

And I went and did it. That's very funny just to be, that would be a joke if Jeff's a comedian. Because, I mean, just so funny to be like, as he looks, he's like, huh. Like, how my left foot hurts. He goes, hmm. And grabs his phone. You're like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm just looking at it. And then he goes, looks like you have a gout. Yeah. Alcohol abuse disorder. I mean, that's a serious problem.

You may be an alcoholic. Let me Google. Yeah. No? Guess you're all right. What was the test? He goes, all right, I found a test for alcohol abuse disorder. Are you an alcoholic? He goes, no. He goes, oh, I guess you passed the test. All right. All right. Well, I'm out of ideas. Remember the office where he does the intervention for Meredith? He just reads something and he prints it off. Have you ever questioned the teachings of the Mormon church? They're like, where'd you get this? He's like, Google. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

That was funny. Matthew Carr, my family, had a history of high blood pressure, which reared its head in me when I was 25. My new doctor told me to buy a cuff and keep a log of my blood pressure for about a month prior to putting me on medication. Being too much of a go-getter, I did so. I meticulously... Meticulously? Meticulously? I meticulously logged blood pressure by arm...

This is getting embarrassing. I think, oh, wait, are they? He gave us, this is a big one, Matthew. I feel like this is a test for me to see if I have brain damage. Like this is all just words that are just trying to see. Yeah, he's got, I'm going to have gout. Gout in your head. Can you get in your head? I meticulously log blood pressure by arm by time of day.

and any other number of ridiculous categories. I even ran statistics on the numbers to find patterns. When I came back from my follow-up visit, I gave the doctor the document. He gave a brief look and asked, what do you want me to do with this? After telling me I need to calm down, I left. About two months later, I got a letter from the doctor that he was leaving the practice and taking a select group of patients with him.

To no one's surprise, I was not one of them. I'm not sure, which is more impressive, driving a doctor to scorn in our first meeting or receive a personalized breakup letter after the second. You know, that's funny that the doctor would...

I would want to know if he sent anybody another letter that says they weren't, he wasn't moving on. He's still there. He just wants him to think you left. Yeah, but like you don't, does he break up with, does he have to write a letter to all the other people? Like you have to tell them or does he just go, they go, you can either tell him or not tell me because I don't want to tell him. He goes, oh, you know what? I'll tell one. Let me write one. Dear Matthew Carr, I'm rethinking my life because of you.

All right, that's it. Thank you guys so much as always for reading or for writing in the comments. You can always write them. We read them. I read them. And the long ones are tough. Multiple sentences we get rolling. But we got through it. Another day. So today we're talking. You can talk about calendar. I mean, we're talking about nothing. But so Brian had an idea.

with going through, let's talk about the states. And I don't think we're not going to just do a complete run of every episode of states, but we're going to try to get through all 50 states. And it'll be fun to learn about these states. I'll be able to have some guests that are from states.

And then you can hear us talk about your state. And we've been kind of keeping, we do a random, we did a random state picker online. One way we might do a bowl. I'm not sure where we draw names. We're just still figuring that out.

We don't want to tell y'all before because we don't want a bunch of stuff added into this. The idea of this is to let us go through it and be as stupid as possible. And then you get to, as always, you get to tell us next week if you're from this place.

that you could be like, you guys are nuts, or maybe you guys get it. So we did the random state thing. I think we posted it on the Nateland Instagram last week or social media. And so the first state up is Rhode Island, which is a good state to start with. So we're going to learn a little about Rhode Island. I've been to Rhode Island. Yeah, I've done shows up there. Is there a comedy club? Man, what? Comedy Connection. Comedy Connection. Oh, yeah, yeah. In Providence. Yeah, Providence, Rhode Island. I've been to Providence. I've been to Rhode Island a ton, actually. Yeah.

Uh, I was thinking of Maine real fast in my head. Uh, I mean, that's what I honestly, I put, as we were talking Rhode Island, I'm picturing Maine Providence road. I've been to a million times. Um, we go, there's a great comedy club, comedy connection there. It's in an old bank and they have a, a big safe. The green room is in the old safe vault. That's cool. And so, uh, but a great club and, uh,

And last time I did it, the Falcons, because it's near where the Patriots play, and so the Falcons stayed. There's a hotel at the mall, and the Falcons were all at the hotel. I saw Matt Julio Jones and Matt Ryan. But Providence got a little cool little walking area. Their downtown is very cool. Yeah, I've been there a bunch. They have a nonstop flight. I want to say it's to Providence. This could be Connecticut. I'm not positive. But from L.A.,

And it was like every Thursday. Because I took it once. And I remember just like, what are the odds that you can do nonstop from L.A. to Providence? That's, you know, it doesn't make sense. Like New York is nearby. You just think you'd have a layover. And there's one flight. It could be Connecticut. I could be messed up. But there's a lot of money up there.

So a lot of people fly to LA, I guess. You know, I've never been to Rhode Island, but I have a Providence story. I don't know if you remember this or not. There's a Providence shopping mall. Yes, I do remember it. In Mount Juliet, there's a Providence mall. Yeah, and there's a movie theater, Providence 14 in Mount Juliet. And I went online to buy Spider-Man tickets or something. We went together, right? Yeah.

But, well, maybe, but I accidentally bought tickets for Providence, Rhode Island. Yes. Online. Yeah. And I think I called them or something to see if I could cancel. And they're like, you got to come in in person. And then a few weeks later, you're in Providence doing a show. And I think you went by there to see if you could get my tickets for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they wouldn't let you. Yeah.

He's bought at the wrong Providence. Pretty far off. Did I talk about this before? There's this Japanese restaurant here, you know, that I go to in Nolensville. And it's very good. But they get, there's one in New York. So I watched a guy sit outside and wait for his order. And he's like, they go, we don't have your order. He goes, did you call New York's, you know? And he looks, he goes, yeah.

And so he had to order again and call the New York place and like, yeah, dude, I'm not going to make that order. Like it's, uh, I'm way off. Yeah. Thousands of miles away. Yeah. Uh, have you ever been to Rhode Island? No, I, I've totaled it up last night. I've been to 42 States. Wow. 50 Rhode Island is one that I have not been to. That's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah. I've been to, I think everyone, I always can't remember. I'd, uh, I've never been to Montana. Uh,

North Dakota. And maybe I've been to North Dakota. I've been to so many places I forget. Alaska. I want to say that's it. I've been to South Dakota. And then, yeah, I can't remember. I think I've been to every one but like North Dakota and Alaska and Montana. And that's it. Those are three I want to go to.

Well, like you said, we did just did this randomly state picker and Rhode Island came up. And as I started doing research, I was like, this might've been a mistake. Yeah. This could have, I got some stuff on here. I hope we do not get to. Yeah. If we do.

Things have gone terribly wrong. Yeah. So Rhode Island, smallest state in the U.S. That's the one thing I know about it. It's so, distance north to south, 48 miles. East to west, 37 miles. That's crazy. Think about how small that is. Yeah, 48 miles and 37 miles.

That's like from here to Lebanon. Yeah. I mean, that's where, I mean, how many people work there that don't live there? There might be a ton. You don't, because if you don't, it's 40 miles long or wide, long, whatever. North to south, it's 48 miles. So, yeah, I mean, you're in 37, I mean, you could just live right outside and go drive and you'd be 15 miles to the middle, you know? I mean, you would, you could easily not live in Rhode Island. It almost would make more sense. Yeah, well, Providence is right on the edge, too.

So most people don't even... You're probably five minutes from whatever this state is. Massachusetts. It's the smallest state by size. It's the second most densely populated state, though, in the country. They've got over a million people there in Rhode Island. What are they doing? What's the most dense? New Jersey. Okay. That's crazy. New Jersey's that packed, and Rhode Island is... I mean, Rhode Island is well that packed. Yeah. God, that's crazy. Yeah.

They only have five counties and like 39 cities, but they're pretty good sized places. It's a lot going on. Do you think people from Rhode Island are against DC statehood because then they'd no longer be the smallest state? I don't know. Like they like being the smallest state. I think we got to take pride in what you got. Yeah. And you're like, we're the smallest state. Yeah. And then if you're the second, nobody cares about the second smallest state.

No, I mean, what's the second smallest state? Yeah, we don't even know. We don't even care to look it up. We don't even, we'll find out. Yeah, we'll find out eventually. We'll find out eventually. Here's the second smallest state. And the third smallest state, you can be like, well, we don't even talk about that. We can move on about other things. Yeah. But what would the second smallest state be? I bet it's one of those New Englands. Yeah. Maine, Delaware, something like that. Connecticut, maybe. That's my guess. Connecticut's big. Yeah.

I mean, it's kind of big. Yeah. Compared to Rhode Island. Oh, Delaware. It's definitely bigger than Delaware. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. They might not like it. Yeah. That's something to hang your hat on. Welcome to the small state in the U.S. Yeah. It's kind of a cool thing. Yeah. It's fun. I think. Yeah. We don't need to be that big. We get enough done. Yeah. You know? Yeah. How much land do you guys need? Yeah. Yeah. So we get its name, Rhode Island. I mean, there is an island there. Most of it's mainland. But there is an island there called Rhode Island.

And it got its name because explorers, there's two theories. One said because the island has red clay, road means red. And the other is because it reminded an explorer of an island in Greece called Road. So when they came there, they just named it Rhode Island. How long did it take that guy to get there? You know, just to get there and go, this reminds me of the road in Greece. He's like, when were you in Greece? Yeah.

45 years ago. I mean, like, I've been coming here for most of this time. He's probably mad. Yeah. He could have just stayed home. He's like, imagine just that long of a travel. I mean, how long would it take them to travel? Yeah. That long of a travel just to get here. And then, and how frustrating would it be to be next to that guy? And he goes, you know what this reminds me of? That road in Greece. And they're like,

You're like, dude, that's not what I want to hear when we traveled for five years to get here. My family's dead. Yeah. I mean, we've lost people on this ride. And then you're going to just immediately get off and go, oh, it tastes like every other restaurant I've ever been to. You're like, I think you add a little bit to it, man. Like, you know, I mean, it's got to be. That guy's a nightmare just to go. Sounds like we have a road in Greece. Does it?

So when English settlers came there to settle it, they made a deal with the Native Americans and purchased the area that's now Providence. Providence is the state capital. It's the largest city in Rhode Island. Yeah. Do they negotiate with the Native Americans? I tried to find what the Indians got for it. What's the process like? How you doing? Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson.

Love what you're doing here. Reminds me of a place at home, actually. Anyway, we'd love to make an offer for this land. It's purchasing a big land. The founder of Rhode Island, Roger Williams, at first he didn't tell the King of England that he purchased this land. He said, we got it from the Indians. It's not their business. But then things started taking off. He's like, all right, I got to tell somebody.

So... Like it started becoming a big bustling city. Yeah, like things are happening here. Yeah, and the phone was invented. This was probably true. He's like, this is for... Yeah, he's like, you know, we can make phone calls back home now. What's that? Like how much he was like, what's... You can just contact him pretty easy? He goes, yeah, we got him on the phone right now. You want to talk to him? He's like...

He's like, I kind of started my own world. I mean, it's like when Kramer sits down for when Jerry leaves and Kramer dresses up like Jerry and changes an apartment and he's like, hello. He goes, what are we getting this? And then someone comes back, what are you doing over there, man? You've been gone for quite a while. Because when they would leave on these trips, they'd be gone for... They usually didn't even go back home. Yeah. Settlers, they settled in the US. So your job was a settler. Yeah. You were like, I'm a settler. So your job was like, I'm going to go...

Nice to meet you. Some of them came back, right? I guess some of them did. He went back, didn't he? He was an explorer. He wasn't a settler. He was everywhere. You couldn't track that guy down.

These are people that came over like the pilgrims to live and to make a new world. So finally things were taken off and he had to go back to the king and say, we need a patent for a new column. When they say go back to the king, it's always written in like a sentence. So he had to run back to the king. You're like, this is not a, you know, like, I mean, he would like, if you, if we told him the story, how quick we brush over it. He's like, wait a second. Y'all just said, I went back to, he goes, he goes, dude, he goes, I lost eight guys.

I mean, he goes, I had to hunt a whale and try to drag it in the boat and eat it. It was the worst time of my life. And y'all just go, so he ran back, talked to the king, told him he came back. And you're like, this was nine years of my life was just this going back and forth. And it's probably not easy to just get an audience with the king whenever you want. Once you get back over there. Once you get back, yeah. I mean, when your boat lands up and you're like...

You just get off the boat like a plane. Slept the whole way. He goes, all right, the king's ready to see you. He goes, oh, I need like two months to get my apartment. I've left my dog. I just let it go. See if I can find that thing.

The king granted the colony and they originally called it Providence Plantations because plantation means colony in England. So for the first 20 years, it was called Providence Plantations instead of Rhode Island. And then once they became a state after the Revolutionary War, it was called the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. Guy wouldn't let go of that Providence Plantations. He goes, no, no, it's still doing that. You're like, yeah, but... Do you know when they let it go?

I want to say it wasn't probably recently. Very recently, right? Two months ago. Yeah. Up to two months ago. Because you can't say plantation anymore. It was called State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantation. Yes. They've been trying forever to get rid of it. They voted in 2010 and it failed because they were like, plantation doesn't mean what you think. It means colony. But finally, this past election, they've barely won 52.8 to 47.2. They changed the name just to Rhode Island. Wow. That's someone's just because they go eventually, look,

You got to pull something aside and go, hey, it's 2020. You can't say anything anymore. And no one's calling it that. Yeah. You know, no one even knows this. You know it. It's a matter of, and I get it. That's how everybody should talk to everybody. Like, I get it, dude. I get why you want to do it. But where do you live at? He's Rhode Island. Exactly. You're not even saying it. Yeah. I've never heard of that. It's a long thing to say. Yeah. You can't.

Providence Plantation. What are we doing? A lot of peas. Like, come on. With a small estate, we got that. Yeah, we don't need the longest name. We don't need that. The name's longer than the state. By the time you get done saying it, I'm already half across the state.

What are we doing? The official nickname is the Ocean State because it has many large bays and inlets. There's probably a bunch of them. Yep. State bird is the Rhode Island Red, which is a chicken. Just a chicken as their bird? It is a chicken? Yeah. It's straight up a chicken? Yeah. It's a rooster or rooster. Who has sex with the rooster? Yeah.

A chicken. The rooster has sex with all of them. Seinfeld. Yeah, it's a chicken. Roosters and hens are both chickens. There's the Rhode Island rat. That's a good-looking hen.

Well, is it a hen? I mean, isn't a hen just a male? No, that's a female. A rooster is a male. Yeah. All right, let's back up a little bit. And a rooster, I just said it. Seinfeld, you learned it in Seinfeld. The rooster mates with all of them. The hen and the chicken. I don't know the difference of a hen and a chicken. Yeah. A hen is a little more mouthier. Hen's a little...

A hen just never lets go. Oh, God. I should have married a chicken. To be honest, this hen is just all over me. It's never enough, is it, hen? It's never enough. Why would they make it a... I guess, yeah. Well, you know that the... I bet by the time the guy that said our bird... Why do you even have a state bird? I guess every state has a bird. I would imagine when they made it the chicken, it was before...

They realized like, oh, I could have done an eagle. Well, they have a different, well, yeah, you're right. Cause that's state bird. They have state animals. That's the harbor seal. They have all kinds of, they just thought they could choose like chickens and pigeons. And like, I guess we'll do chickens. I guess chickens. That's good. And then like four years later, someone's like, you know, our state bird is a hawk. And you're like, we have those. He's like, Hey, you should have done that. He goes, I didn't know we could do, I thought we had to like pick what I saw the most of.

You mean you don't do that? He's like, no. You don't want to be a chicken steak? You know, the American bird was supposed to be a turkey for a long time. It makes sense. Thank God they chose the eagle. The eagle's much cooler, but the turkey is, you know, we're all kind of big. A lot of us have gout. Maybe you should change to turkey. Maybe you should change to turkey. Maybe we're having a little too much turkey and that's how we're getting a little gout. You know what I mean? Yeah.

We had an eagle, I think, in our backyard. Did I ever say that? I don't know. A bald eagle? In our old house, yeah. Oh. A bald eagle. I remember that. A nest. Put a nest in. You just got to let it. I mean, an eagle can just... If an eagle wants to get in your house and just sleep in your bedroom, then you got to just move out of your bedroom. He's allowed to do whatever he wants. We have no control over the eagles. I think legally you're not allowed to touch them, right? If they want in your house...

They get your house. Yeah. Like an eagle comes in. Like a goose. Yeah. You get an eagle in your house, just move. You can try to negotiate with the eagle, but if he doesn't want to leave, the government's like, well, it's his living right now. You can't touch him. You can't touch him. And you got to watch TV and watch what he wants to watch. And let me tell you, he wants to watch. It's not pretty. Yeah.

He had to get the kids out of the room. You know what I mean? Like he's definitely not living this podcast. This is not enough for him. Uh, the current governor of Rhode Island is Gina Raimondo. Yeah. She was the first female governor ever when she was elected in 2014. Yeah.

But that's 2014 was still the first for Rhode Island. Yeah. Oh, not of not America. Yeah. Yeah. For Rhode Island. That's something that she gets to say, you know, that's, you know, she's like, I was the first woman governor of Rhode Island. And I bet everybody goes, oh, like America. And they go, she goes, no, the Rhode Island. I bet everybody. I bet if you talk to her, she's like, oh, that's all the time. I was the first woman governor of Rhode Island of America. It was of America. No, no.

Because then it just... Just Rhode Island. She goes, oh, that's cool, man. That's what they say to her. That's cool, man. And she's like... Defeats the purpose. Defeats the whole... She's leaving, though, to become U.S. Commerce Secretary. Oh. So she's moving on up. Yeah. Rhode Island has the highest density of electoral votes in any state. Because they're the smallest. But they have a lot of people from things so small, so therefore...

They have more electoral votes. How many do they get? I think four. Oh. How many people are in Rhode Island? Is it? Over a million. Okay. So more than Wyoming, more than Montana. Mm-hmm. Alaska. Is that under a million? Mm-hmm. Then yeah. I mean, you're just naming stuff that we're looking at a number. It's not a, we're not, it's not a conversation about it. It's.

there's there's over a million was there less than a million perspective because those states are enormous yeah those are enormous well that's when everybody thinks we're all too crowded you're like go to wyoming there's yeah there's a room there's plenty of room go to these other places yeah get out of rhode island and you'll see get out your your notice that you're like wow there's a lot of room over here in wyoming now you're in wyoming just signed a lease the uh

During Prohibition, they were the only state that did not reject the ratification of the 18th Amendment banning alcohol sales. So they kept it. Wait. So they can't buy alcohol? No. They rejected the idea? They rejected the idea. So during Prohibition, when nobody was against the law to sell alcohol, they still did it. Wow. I mean, could you just be like, the other places are like, wait, we can just say no? Like, how do you... They're like, yeah, just say no. Yeah, I don't know. That's...

Why would other places not say no? That's an excellent question. I should have researched it more. I don't know. I don't know how that works. Yeah, why would you? You would just say, yeah, I would just say no. I mean, now looking back, they go, yeah, we should have said no.

Al Capone would have not got going. Al Capone almost starts something crazy like, oh, we're just going to say no. He's like, oh, fuck. And then he just becomes a banker. You know what I mean? He gets a regular job. He doesn't drive it. I went to where Al Capone or the Valentine's Day massacre was.

Where was that? In Chicago? In Chicago. Is that a bar there? No, it's just an apartment building. It's like a parking lot now, kind of. But it's where the building used to be, and that's where it was. I remember watching this thing on TV. It was in Chicago, right? It was in Chicago. Yeah. There are bars where they had specially built booths for him, where he could sit and see the whole room. Yeah. Pretty crazy. Yeah, because someone's going to come after him. Right, right.

I do that, by the way, when I sit down at a restaurant. I don't like to have my back to the whole room. I like to be able to see the whole room. I don't know what I think is going to happen. But if it does happen, then you saw it right before everybody else. You could actually know you're about to get shot versus the other losers that had no idea that it was coming.

I won't be able to do anything to help, but I'll see it happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of people, they tell you to do that. Like, you're supposed to always kind of be... Do you think that's a male instinct? I find it more in men than women. Yeah, you ask a lot of them. That can't be a conversation. He's just pulling...

Actually, I bring it up quite a bit in large groups. You guys looking around to see what's going on versus not? Let's see what's going on. Yeah, I would imagine. But I mean, anybody can be paranoid. I don't think it's paranoia. I think it's like a... I don't know. For me, it's paranoia. Like a caveman...

I think so. Feeling that you're just like... I think cavemen probably... The men probably slept facing the entrance to the cave. Someone's behind you right now. Been back there the whole time. You ever know? No, dude, because I checked it. Yeah. There's nobody back there. I think there's a lot of... I think where that stuff is like getting weaned out, though, of like, you know, what was I...

You watch, like, the way men were along, like, your dad, our dad, your grandparents and all that. Like, the way, like, families and the structure, it's so different. Mm-hmm. And to now, there's, you know, there's a lot of men that are, you know, moms. Like, what are they? Like, they stay home with the kids. Stay-at-home dads? Stay-at-home dads. They're still dads. Yeah. Wouldn't know they call them dotties, dommies. Yeah.

A lot of men are moms now. Yeah. I mean, that's true too. And there's a lot going on right now. But that's something that, I mean, if you're in the 40s and you go tell your neighbors, what do you do? Oh, I stay home with the kids. They might fight you. They might fight you and try to take your house.

Tom Papa has a very funny joke about how he was terrified of his dad. He wouldn't even look him in the eyes when he came in. And now his kids were literally climbing to bed and lift his eyelids because they're so not scared of him. Yeah. Yeah. I always think that you want it. Well, and that's the balance of there's more love, which is good that, you know, I know with, uh,

You know, it's like with our daughter. It's like she sleeps in our bed a lot. And, like, there's just stuff that would never be done. But still a lot of parents don't do that. I mean, there's a lot of still bad parents out there. But, yeah, it's definitely, it's obviously a gigantic difference. And it's just getting, you know, I mean, it's going to be all women working, just dads at home. It's all going to flip. Yeah. Yeah. And that's one generation difference. Yeah.

To then the kids will be running it. You have a kid and they tell you what to do. You don't think it comes back around? You don't think it goes and... Goes back to the dad? Beating their kids again? Is that what you're hoping happens? Just whacking them, clothes fisting. Wife, kids, everybody? I just think... The good old days. Ibsen flows. The world is cyclical, man. Yeah. Hopefully not.

But it's cyclical. What is that? It's secular. Secular? Yeah. You said, what did you say? No, he said cyclical. I said cyclical. Man. Yeah.

You just do. Why do you use words like that? That's not a crazy word. That's a crazy word, dude. Why do you, what makes you want to use, is that what they do at college? Just trying to be like, make you feel a little smarter than the regular folk. Is that all it is? That's all I got out of it. I'll say that. That's what I think college is. And they just want you to be a little, so you can be a little highbrow.

And when the, you know, just a blue collar guy like myself walks in with his lunchbox and you go, oh, that's the world's secular. Oh, hey, how you doing? I know you're here. And you start just banging the table. How do you speak? I don't know. Do you want, do you want food? Are you hungry? I'm sorry. It's academia. Take it down a notch, Aaron, please. All right, I will.

Rhode Island has the highest proportion of Catholic residents of any state. Wow. 41%. That's a lot. That's a lot of Pope Gregory's. A lot of Pope Gregory's there. A lot of people named Gregory because of Pope Gregory. Probably. Probably the most. Yeah.

In Rhode Island. I looked that up. Most Gregory's by state. Yeah. I mean, see, these are... We're back to these stats. If this shows up, that's insane to me. And these people shouldn't have these jobs. There should never be someone that gets paid by finding the most Gregory's in a state. And I hope we don't have it. I swear. That is insane if this person has a job. And... Because there can't be...

That's his, what are you doing at work today? You'd be surprised how many Gregories there are in Rhode Island. They go, oh. That's basically what we're doing now. I know. That is true. But the person that finds it, is there a number? I could. I'd have to dig deep. Yeah. That's not an easy Google. It's not an easy. How popular of a name is Gregory? I think it's pretty popular, man. Yeah. There's a lot of Gregs. Yeah. Yeah.

736,000 people in the United States named Gregory. The 70th most popular name. 99.77% of people with the name Gregory are male. So it could be a female name too. Yeah. All right. If you met a... Yeah. If someone names their daughter Gregory, I mean, what do you... What is that three... I don't even know if there's that...

What is it? 20 point? Yeah. 23%? I don't even... There can't be. And that's just a person that's... If it's 99.77% of people with the first name Gregory as their male, that 0.23% is... It's one person and they're a nightmare. It says 21 people are named Gregory Bear. I don't know why that is. Look at this. What do we got here? We got breaking news. We got...

I bet it's important. Break it to us. This is the, this is the, you found a breakdown of all the states and how many people are named Gregory. Can you guess the state with the highest number of Gregory's? I'll give you a hint. It's the most densely populated state in Rhode Island. No, Rhode Island's number four. Okay, hold on. So who, where do we think a lot of Gregory's? Well, I know, I know Greg Garcia. Let's imagine he's a Gregory. Uh,

Guest book. Right now on Hulu. He's from the East Coast. So it's East Coast. Yeah, it's East Coast. Massachusetts? I'm having trouble reading this graph now. Oh, yeah. Because here we are. Graphs are terrible.

Dude, there's no reason for a graph. There is zero reason for a graph. You can just type it out and just say where it is. Yeah. But people don't want to do that. Is it the state I mentioned earlier that's the most densely populated? Yeah. New Jersey. New Jersey. I could see that. Yeah. A lot of Gregs. It's all the Northeast, that whole New England area. Yeah. Love of Gregory. It's a good name. Yeah. Yeah.

So they have the highest percentage of Catholics, but Aaron, also the oldest existing synagogue. So there's something for your fiance too. Oldest existing synagogue in the U S is in Rhode Island. It was built in 1763. It's the only synagogue in the country during the colonial era, still the oldest one in North America. And the oldest Baptist church in America was founded in Providence in 1683. Wow.

It's called First Baptist Church in America. I never knew. I never even thought about why churches are called First Baptist, First Methodist, First Presbyterian. And I looked it up. It's just whichever one, the first one in that town,

Oh. Like if you were literally the first Baptist church to settle there, you get to be called first Baptist. But is there a bunch of first Baptists? Yeah. Like I think every town's got probably a first Baptist. No, but I feel like every, I feel like there's multiple first Baptists in a town. Oh, in the same town? Yeah. Maybe there's not. I don't think there is. They do it by zip code.

Yeah. I mean, we're the first Baptist on this land right here. Yeah. And you go, that's true. All right. But they're the only church that could actually say it straight up. We're the first Baptist church. Yeah. They call themselves. No, no, the. Yeah. No, no, no. The actual first. Right. Yeah. First Baptist church in America is their name. So they let everybody know, not just locally. First Baptist church in America. Period.

That bit, someone's like, there's no way. And then you go, probably not. They just probably say that. You know? Because it's like you don't, they're like, no, we're trying to, we have the first woman governor in America. No. I see why you're getting confused here. Of Rhode Island. But if she's the one that's trying to tell you,

She's the one that's trying to tell you, you go, so this church is the First Baptist Church of America. I'm the first woman of, you know, first woman governor. Do you have America? No. Rhode Island, but the church is of America. And they go, all right. Gregory? Gregory.

Rhode Island has the highest paid elementary school teachers in the country. Wow, that's where they go. Average salary... $22,000 a year. Whoa! They are doing it so good. This was based on 2013. Average salary was $75,000. That's a lot. Yeah. Where do teachers get paid? Well, $75,000 in Rhode Island. Man. $75,000.

That's a good amount. It is. They should be getting paid. Like, that's how... They probably got great schools. I'm sure they do. Yeah. There's probably more now. This is 2013. But... A lot of beamers pulling up to that. Yeah. Your kindergarten teacher comes out in a new Tesla and teaches your kids. So that disputes it, huh? Yeah. Well, once again, I don't... I thought that this rate... Oh, there it is. Number eight. But this teacher salary, but then they're weighing it against...

So they're actually going down. Oh, buddy. This is from Wikipedia. Yeah. None of this is probably true. It's not even in order. God, man, I hate graphs. We really do have a graph problem in this country. We have a graph problem, dude. I swear. People love a graph, and they want to make graphs, and it's exciting, and it's fun, and it's like designing a house. What about pie graphs? They're okay, right?

It's nice and simple. Nice and simple. Just, you know, obviously this chunk is gigantic and this part is not.

Pie graph wouldn't make sense for what we're trying to find out right now. Yeah. So they don't work everywhere. And a pie graph, to be honest, how big is big? You know, how little is little? You don't know. It's in the world of that pie. Like, it could be like a million people. And then it's just a sliver for a million. You're like, well, that seems like a lot. You're like, but imagine how big the other part is. That big circle is gigantic. As far as food in Rhode Island. You think Pac-Man was the big reason for the pie graph? Yeah.

Didn't exist until then. You think it played into it? I bet it could have. The face of Pac-Man. When did Pac-Man come out? Early 80s. That's an early 80s game, right? Oh, they were doing pie graphs probably. I'd say so. Let the pilgrims do it. See when the pie chart was made. Earliest known pie chart, 1801. So maybe. I don't know.

Yeah, there's some correlation probably. I mean, it was 180 years before Pac-Man. Why do you, what is going on in 1801 that someone's like, I don't, I can't wrap my head around what you're saying. He goes, I got to figure a way to let these people know that how many, they're like, we're going, we're trying to go across the country. He goes, but you're not going to make it. Most people don't. How were any stats kept in 1800?

I mean, how could you ever track someone? I mean, I, I, my head 1800, they're, they're riding dinosaurs. How are you? The first ever pie chart that we know of depicted the proportions of the Turkish empire located in Asia, Europe, and Africa before 1789. That's the first graph. So yeah, it sounds like pretty important stuff. That's it right there. The second one there.

Yeah, well, this is the, yeah, this dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the first ever pie chart that we know. Yeah. African, European. And then, I don't know what that even means. I mean, it's not really clear what it is. Yeah. All right. And he goes, and that's that. That pie chart was a lot of, but that guy probably wanted to explain it.

Hey, guys, what percentage of Turkish Empire is Africa? Well, let me show you. And he goes, oh, God. I mean, you can just tell us. You got something way better than that. No, I got some... You guys got a pen and paper? And he's like, I don't even... No, we don't. I got some wood. You want to...

He goes, I got, I mean, you can pull off some of the log cabin on the side of the house and draw it on that. I don't know. He's like, and he goes, that's fine. I'll do whatever, man. Yeah. I just want to show you on my new, call it a pie chart because it's a circle like a pie. We barely know what pies are at this point. You have pie? No, we have a chart. Yeah. Okay. What's a chart?

It's a new word I made up. That's what the joke, my Shakespeare joke, I talked about that on here. Yeah. It was something like that. That's what I said. He made up a word. Look up Shakespeare. Shakespeare invented a word. He invented a bunch of them. I know. And the joke was like being friends with Shakespeare, and he just, look up a word that he invented, because I'll see. Yeah. Yeah. Dwindle. Dwindle. That was the word. That's one of your words. Yeah.

It's one of the four words that starts with DW. He invented lonely. Skim milk. Elbow. No, who invented elbow? King Lear? Oh, is this who invented? No, King Lear's the play that it's in. Oh, elbow as a verb? Yeah. Like I elbowed somebody? To elbow somebody, yeah. Huh. Oh, he elbowed. That's pretty cool. Yeah. But so it's like being friends with Shakespeare. Swagger. Swagger. And he goes and...

What's the... So what's a word he actually... So swagger, he... He invented swagger, yeah. Oh, no. So he invented skim milk. So let's say he invented... Skim milk's a word, right? And so if you're friends with Shakespeare and you're just over at his house and he's like, you guys want some skim milk? And they're like, I don't even... What is that? He's like, it's a word I just invented. He's like, hey, I just got to know what skim milk is. He goes, what are you doing? I'm elbowing you. He goes, it's two things I invented. And you're just like...

It's just, he goes, all right. He goes, you guys got some swagger. Yeah. Maybe I got too much swagger thrown your way. He goes, I don't, what, what are you doing? These are all words that I've admitted. Listen, don't be green eyed about it. Okay. Because yeah. And you're like, Oh God. He goes, yeah. Well, we're all using these words now. It's started. Sorry. Your vocabulary. So lackluster. Yeah. Like, dude, were you just slow down? Come on. Shakespeare. I'll start to dwindle. Yeah.

Just in case everybody's a critic. All right. I mean, just, I mean, that was every one. Yeah, man. That was just one sentence. Oh, I,

I mean, he invented the word uncomfortable. Yeah, that made a lot of people uncomfortable when he tried to tell them that because they were unaware that he invented that word. He's like, am I making you uncomfortable? I don't really know what that means, but kind of. He just put un in front of a bunch of words and called it a new word. Undress. Unreal. There you go. That's a big one for you. Unreal. That's a big one for me. And then I got to think Shakespeare. Did you know that's from Macbeth? What have you been saying? Yeah, that's where I picked up on it.

Unbelievable. I don't know where you guys picked up on it, but I always picked it up on Macbeth.

I mean, pretty easy to invent words when it's 1623. That's true. I mean, everything you do, you just, you know, you see a mouse, you go eek, and you're like, oh, and they're like, hey, all right, that's a word. Yeah. I'm going to start using it. Let's all start using that now. They go, okay. Can I get credit for it? You're like, yeah, sure. I mean, some will. Yeah.

Rhode Island food. They're known for the Rhode Island clam chowder. Hot wieners. Do you know what a hot wiener is, Aaron? A microwaved hot dog? They're small, thin hot dogs made of beef, veal, and pork in a steamed bun with celery salt, yellow mustard, chopped onions.

I would do it without that. I would be like, let's get that celery salt and the chopped onions on the side. No chopped onions. Celery salt on the side. You know, I want to make a restaurant. It's called No Tomatoes, No Onions. Yeah, where you just don't have them. Did I ever talk about that? I want a restaurant because I don't like tomatoes and no onions. So you come in and you go, I want spaghetti. And you're like, no tomato, no onions in it. And they're like,

You didn't know you had the door? We don't have any tomatoes. I think that's a common adjustment. I don't know. It might just be me, but the idea is no tomatoes, no onions. And that's everything we got. One hamburger, lettuce pickle. And they go, oh, can I get tomato onion on it? So if somebody from Rhode Island came in, try to get some hot wieners.

They're going to be in for a rude awakening. You'd be like, listen, it's going to be a little bit different. I guess you are unaware that I have named this restaurant No Twin is No Onions. I wasn't aware of that. This is unreal. No muffin tops. Yeah. That feels like a stretch for that Seinfeld. I mean, the other ones have been very smooth in there. And that one came out of nowhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Seinfeld TV show.

He just tells someone randomly Hey we like to reference Seinfeld Yeah yeah I would love to I get it Andrea Doria Okay Shall I wait or keep going He's got to gather his thoughts Gather his Shakespeare work Oh man

So how many of those hot wieners do you think you could eat now? Oh, you're showing them. How big are they? I got a picture of them. A little smaller than an average hot dog, probably...

I think 40. Just so people at home, they look like an average hot dog. They look like straight up hot dogs. I mean, maybe in Aaron's hands. What about Jack? I mean, he just goes. They're still going to look big. Sounds like a guy that's got gout. I don't know. I eat 15 of those. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the worst thing.

There's a lot of onions on it. Look how many onions on that one in the middle. Have you ever ate a garbage plate? That's in Rochester, New York. No. It's just a bunch of stuff on it, like fries. They're famous for that. When I went there with Mark Maron, we opened. He was like, we got to go get this. You know who told me to go, actually, was Fallon.

I did tonight show and we were talking. I was like, and I was going out with Marin and I was like, we're going to Rochester. And he's like, you got to get the garbage plate. It's like the best thing ever. And so I was like, all right. And so then I told Marin, I was like, we got to go to,

Is this inaccurate what it looks like? Yeah, just nonsense. What is that? I don't know. It's just a bunch of stuff. I don't know if that's... Do the upstate New York. I thought there was like... Yeah, there's like fries and potatoes. Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff on it. There's a little more structure to that one. Yeah. Some of these look like... I mean, that does not look appealing really whatsoever. It doesn't look appealing. I'm sure it's great. Yeah, it's not. And it's called a garbage plate. So it's not like you're going, oh, it's beautiful. It's...

No one's eating this just being like, oh yeah, I'm getting my life together. I mean, that's how gout got started was the garbage plate. And that was the first tipping off point. Is tipping off point the right way to say that? No. That was the, yeah.

Jumping off point? Jumping off point. No one tips off a point. If you were standing on a point, you would tip off. You'd turn around though if he said it? I'd turn around. You'd turn around? Tip an off point? What's that? It would be enough to go... I know what you mean. Yeah, you would know what I mean. Did you mean jumping off point? Yeah. The official state drink of Rhode Island is coffee milk. Mixing milk with coffee syrup. Mixing milk with coffee syrup? That's what it says. So coffee syrup.

It's a unique syrup invented in Rhode Island and sold at most Rhode Island supermarkets. Hmm. Never heard of it. It's a milk that has coffee syrup in it. Apparently so. Oh, so it's like you make chocolate milk, but it's a different kind of syrup that you put in there. It's like a Jamocha shake. Yeah. Kind of that taste. That's what I'm guessing. Yeah. I guess. It's a tough drink. I'd never heard of it. It's a tough drink to have as your steak. Coffee milk? Yeah. Yeah.

There's a lot of explaining going on in Rhode Island with this stuff, their main stuff. Like a lot of, you know, what's your bird? It's a red hen. Wow. Okay. I know. What do they say? It's just a red. Rhode Island red. It's just called a Rhode Island red. Wow. I don't think I've ever seen one of those. You'd be surprised. You've seen quite a bit of them. It's a chicken. It's a regular chicken. Oh, okay. It's a lot of that. Yeah.

They also have Johnny Cakes. Johnny Cakes. That was an episode of Sopranos. Yeah. That was in New Hampshire, I think. Pancakes? Kind of like pancakes, yeah. Yeah. But smaller. Oh, it's hash browns? No. No, I think it's like pancakes. Oh.

yeah that's like you go to someone's house dude and they go we're gonna have pancakes and you go that's great and they're like why are these weird they're like other johnny cakes yeah well say that you didn't let me wrap my head around i thought i were eating pancakes my head has got pancakes you know i need to be if you're throwing some different food at me i need to just tell me just say hey this is gonna be a little different i love that all their signature food is just a slightly smaller version of a normal food

We got slightly smaller hot dogs. Slightly smaller up there. And then just some smaller pancakes. Yeah. Johnny Jacks. Johnny Cakes. Is it because the state is so small?

That they do everything a little bit smaller. I think so. Yeah. I think that's part of it. They could be. Let's see if the flip side of that, when we get to Texas, we'll see if everything's bigger. If everything, they go, yeah, could be. The Grist and the 16, the old 96er. Is that from Uncle Buck? No, not Uncle Buck. The Great Outdoors. I don't know. You ever seen The Great Outdoors? No. Oh, with John Candy? He's already covered. He doesn't see John Candy movies. Oh. Yeah, I haven't seen any John Candy movies. Oh.

Oh, dude, he eats the old 96er and he goes, oh, yeah, they get a free meal if he eats it. And it's this giant thing. He thinks he can eat it. And he eats it all. And he goes, you got to eat the gristle and fat. And he's like...

and he finally gets it all and he's here it is yeah the whole restaurant's watching him and then he he walks out with he has to just lay the shirt over his front of his body he can't even put it on he just got his shirt laid on him as he walks out like a zombie because he just ate it's a great movie yeah

You need to go watch them. Why don't you? Yeah, you don't watch them for a reason? No, I don't have a vendetta against... Religious reasons? Yeah, for religious reasons, I don't watch our candy movies. No, I would. I just missed them, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But you have all those DVDs. I do. I probably have a lot of these movies. Plains Trace and I'm with those. How would you have it and not know it? Do you buy these DVDs in bulk?

You go like buy just a box of them and he goes, what's in there? And you're like, I hope something. Sometimes you buy it with the intention. Oh, I'd like to be able to see like a storage, but I haven't got around to it yet. Yeah. No, not like a store. I don't go buy just boxes. I buy them one by one. Yeah.

But you buy whole seasons, I guess, sometimes of a show. Sometimes I will. Like West Wing. And why do you do that? I like to be able to watch them. To the DVDs. But you do it for the DVDs because it's fun to have a DVD collection. It is fun to have them on the shelf and look through them. And everybody gets, yeah.

And then sometimes the internet's out and I'm like, well, that doesn't phase me at all. It doesn't phase you. Yeah, when everybody's internet was out over Christmas, you thrived. That's right. The natural bombing was the best thing that ever happened to me. Yeah. More people became alert. Nobody had internet. That was Aaron. I think they investigated you first.

because it goes uh who's who benefits from this yeah i don't know there's a lot of flashing lights going on that house that guy doesn't seem like he seems like he doesn't even know what's going on do you ever think that you throw in one of those dvds and if something happens in the world you're just like you have no idea that it happened yeah you're in your own little right yeah that's part of the appeal of it yeah yeah it's true with netflix or anything but you get it on your phone

Yeah, but I mean, I feel like if something happened, they could still... Get you quicker that way? Yeah, Netflix, they could, you know, something could pop. Yeah. But... But a straight up DVD? Straight up DVD. Nothing. DVD player. Yeah. The TV show Family Guy is based in Rhode Island. Oh, yeah. Is Quahog a real city? No. No. No.

According to this, it's a fictional Rhode Island city. But Peter Griffin works at the Pawtucket Brewery. And that's real. Yeah. Seth MacFarlane went to the Rhode Island... RISD. Yeah, RISD. I drew a blank there. What? The Rhode Island... School of Design? Yeah, School of Design. RISD, it's called. I don't know why I knew that. What is going on there? Isn't that like a famous art school? Yeah. Okay. What's an art school? What do they do?

what do you mean i mean you know i know art in high school so i think any higher level i think it's just a yeah the next level of that dude yeah yeah like you go in and their parents go look at their pictures on the wall like film or or anything yeah animation that kind of stuff you can learn technical skills i'm guessing could i get in there

right now you maybe could be a visiting professor you mean adjunct yeah adjunct professor teach about comedy yeah i can't so i could you do that i gotta be something that i don't even know what the word means you're gonna be an adjunct professor you're like oh i get like a full office or is it does that mean like i'm adjacent to another person add-on adjacent professor does that mean i'm just like yeah am i in the closet of a of a actual room i'm not adjunct

Could I be a... I would go talk to... I would do it. Yeah. I would love to do it. Would you teach a comedy class at Ball State? I'd go like Michael Scott and just rip his... Rip the pages. Rip the pages of his... He goes... What was the thing where they lay it and they all start typing? Yeah. Yeah, you can't get it from a book or whatever. The real business is done on paper. Write that down. And everybody starts saying... Yeah. Yeah.

One of my favorite episodes. Yeah, I would love you to go see. We would teach a class at Vol State or somewhere. Yeah. Be an adjunct professor. Can I do higher than that? Why can't I go to this? I mean, listen, you got to kind of prove yourself first. Maybe start out. But as an artist, I'm an artist. Yeah, you're right. Maybe what are you looking for? Belmont? That's about as high as I see you going. Vandy. I go to Vandy. Talk to him about, what am I talking about? Jokes, writing jokes. Vandy's pretty in school. Talking about comedy, writing jokes, the idea of it.

It all would be regular life stuff, though. That would be... It's all of it because it's like their aspect of writing jokes is... I mean, I think you got to figure that out, but you got to do it. Yeah. The whole class would be just like, you got to go do it. You can't. That's what everybody... That's what college should be. You got to go do this. It'd be a short class. Yeah.

Yeah, but go do it. I mean, no one can get anything. That's why I think stuff is getting worse because I think people are not doing stuff as much and they get thrown in. Like journalism is... I mean, you just start a website. That's why I think it happens, honestly, because they don't have to go...

Up through the, you know, system, like their system is like, well, I've been writing a blog since I was 14. So they think I've been doing this 10 years. Yeah. But that's what I was thinking about because we're losing that. You're losing that going through like someone, you know, working in an office forever and just having to get coffee into like building up like that person is a lot better at what they do because they have had to learn it from the ground up versus now anybody can write anything.

Yeah. Yeah. There you go. You could be like, cause the Michael Scott tearing the book out, that's a play on dead poet society when Robin Williams did it, you know, tell them tear the book out. Yeah. But he, his philosophy is kind of what you're saying. Get out there and live life. Yeah. Carpe diem, dude. Seize the day. Seize the day. And they go carpe diem. No, seize the day. Yeah.

What are you saying? What did you... That's what you heard was Carpe Diem? Because I said seize the day. What is this guy? What are y'all teaching over here? Well, that's one of my favorite episodes. That business school. If not, Brent Forrester. I'm friends that wrote his show with him. That didn't go anywhere, but Brent's a great guy. And he wrote that episode. And he...

It was, it's one of my favorite because that one too, he goes, where he goes, he goes, well, Ryan's, he goes, he's never made a sale. And he set a fire in there. Like that was like a very honest being like, well, Ryan thinks he knows all this stuff, but he's never, he doesn't know how to make a sale. And then he goes to Pam's art, art show, which we're all talking about. And that's the sweet, one of the sweetest moments in life.

That's the perfect, if someone said what is Michael Scott's character, I would show them that episode. Yeah. As to go, it's this. Yep. The mafia is big in Rhode Island, especially in a province, the Petriarcha crime family. I hope I'm saying that right so they don't come find me.

But they set their headquarters up in Providence. You know, I was thinking about The Departed. The two guys that Leonardo DiCaprio beat up in that diner, do you remember that? Yeah. They were from Providence. Yeah. So maybe that was a playoff of that. That's what Matt Davis, one of my favorite lines, he opens up the jacket and it says Providence. He goes, the principles of detection tell me this guy's from Providence. Yeah.

That's pretty crazy. So the mafia just is gigantic up there. Yeah, they were in the crime family, ran their operations in Providence from the National Cigarette Service Company and Quinomatic Distributors, a vending machine and pinball business. Is their headquarters, anything they have in the office, like a regular office? They called it the office. Like the mobsters called it that business, the office. If you walked in, it would be like a regular, you know, what's the- Up front. Yeah. Yeah.

You got to have day-to-day. A receptionist? Yeah, like you would have day-to-day stuff. If someone's like, oh, you're in the mafia, you're like, that's crazy, dude. Like you just kill people. You're like, no, I do a lot of the paperwork. We're on the Eastman calendar, so it's a little complicated. You would be shocked how much paperwork that is. Look at that guy's picture. He was not happy they took that. We just finished the Irishman.

Irishman. Yeah. When did you start it? Two months ago? I mean, honestly, maybe two months ago. And then just kind of go through it. How was it? Was it good? Yeah. I mean, you forget so much because it's honestly months in between watching it. I mean, every time you start it, you're like, I guess we were at this part. I was a year younger. And, you know, yeah, Jimmy Hoffa.

I looked up stuff. I like to look it up after, but he, uh, yeah, I think he is, his body is not buried somewhere. I don't think, uh,

You think it happened like they showed in the movie? Well, I looked it up and they say that one guy wrote a book, Do You Paint Houses? There's a book called Do You Paint Houses? And so he said that's what he said happened. But there's other people that don't. But I don't think he, because there's a guy that not too long ago,

said that the guy that killed Jimmy Hoffa is still alive, but he's in prison. Oh, yeah. But, you know. Who knows? Yeah. A giant termite mascot called the Big Blue Bug, or also known as Nibbles Woodaway, is in Providence, along I-95 in Providence. It's kind of their big thing there. He's nine feet tall and 58 feet wide. He weighs 4,000 pounds.

And it says, community is more important than ever. The Providence Country Day School. I think that might just be an add-on underneath there. But apparently this was in the Farley Brothers from Rhode Island. They put this bug in Dumb and Dumber and Dumb and Dumber 2. Oh. They just put different stuff under the bug. I guess so. So there's a sign. Now there's a drink. It's almost like grapes.

Stop anti-Semitism. Anti-Semitism. But there's also, I mean, that's a tough sign to follow. Yeah. Like right before that, because that's a serious sign. And then right before it was, drink cherry Coke. Fly Jet Blue to Florida. Yeah. Bug out. Fly Jet Blue to Florida. Yeah.

It was built in 1980. It's been several movies, TV shows. It's a cultural landmark by the many locals. It's got to take up most of the state. Yeah. I mean, that's a big part of it. Like you're going to... On the flip side, that is a big bug. Yeah. If you're... Oh, it gets graffitied sometimes? Oh, what's wrong with people? That's disheartening. What is graffiti? Why do they feel like you got to do it, I guess?

It's about, I think there's a game to graffiti. Like it's to see how, because you ever see where it's like under a bridge? How do they get there? And that's what it's like. Yeah, that is. But then you just go, wow, how did they get there? And then you drive on and never think of it again. So then you're like, well, was there really worth, is the risk of death

Worth me going, how did they get there? But I think you're doing it for other graffiti artists to go. Oh, man, he really threw the gauntlet down. Yeah. Like Banksy? Right. Yeah. Yeah, one of those guys. Yeah, Banksy just pops up all over the world. And they've reported on the news. Like Banksy has a new... He's a big deal. Yeah.

He went to, could he go to, he could do a Rizzi. He'd be adjunct professor. He could do it. At Rizzi, probably, man. I can't name another painter. Yeah. Can you name another current painter? Oh, current painter. I mean, I can name Rembrandt and stuff, but I'm talking about right now in the game.

Jackson Pollock. Jeremy Morrow. Jackson Pollock. Is he still alive right now? Sorry. Jeremy Morrow? Jeremy Morrow. That's my buddy's name. He's a painter. I was just trying to name some regular guy. Does pools. Yeah. He's Kenny Clayton. He does a lot of the ceiling work. Ceiling?

The guy who does the murals at Zany's. Oh, right. Yeah. He's a painter. This is unbelievable. Yeah, he is really good. Yeah, that's what that kind of painting. It's hard to call what he does graffiti. No, he's not doing graffiti. Obviously. I just want to make that clear. Well, he would get caught pretty easily because he's really camped up there for quite a while. Yeah.

I mean... Nobody notices. Yeah, his Instagram is 1440, right? 1.4.4.0. Yeah, I figured they would get it enough with the numbers. I don't know if it will come up when you search it. I can't imagine there's another 1440 that's... There might be. That's why I put the dots there. Doing the same thing. Oh, that would also be an artist? That would also... You're right. Yeah, yeah. We should do one on art. Because, I mean, there's...

Yeah. Yeah. You could argue. I don't get art at all. Yeah. Well, it's Lebanon for you. Yeah. Well, it might be.

I mean, I'm from Lebanon. You want to buy this art? We ain't going to do it. You don't want to buy any of this? We ain't doing it. You ever see that Brian Regan bit about him having to judge art? Yeah. And he's Picasso. He'd say, hey, Pablo. Yeah. Take a look around. You see anybody with two eyes on the same side of the face? I don't think so. No, hence the low score. Yeah.

Well, it looks like an apple. Yeah. Yeah, man. Is it an apple? Yeah. Yeah, there's a... We bought... I think I could get into the idea. I don't know. But if I had art, I would want a real painting. I don't... Yeah, like if you bought a Picasso or something, you buy it just... I'm buying it just to say I have it. Yeah. It's an investment too. It's like buying a real estate. Is it? I think it is. I don't know. Because it never goes down?

That can go down, I think. The price can go down. I think so. I mean... Like George Casanza bought that art. Yeah, that guy lived. Yeah, and that guy lived. Yeah, I figure they're going to go after Picassos. Like, you know, the way they cancel everything now, you don't want to buy something old. Oh, okay. And then all of a sudden, Picassos are worthless. Yeah. Maybe it would make it more. But, you know, Picasso...

Sets and things probably. Yeah. And that comes out. And then you look like an idiot. He died in like the 60s, didn't he? Really? I mean, he was around pretty recently. Oh, wow. Maybe. I want to say maybe even the 90s. No. 70s. Died in 1973. What? Yeah. He was around.

He was born in 1881. Yeah. Seems like it should be hundreds of years ago, doesn't it? I thought he would have been like 400. Yeah. You know, I mean, I'd love to know the calendar he used. He might have done a few of them. He was on the Julian calendar. Yeah. Did he get paid a ton of money? Was he worth money? I don't think most artists were in their time.

Who was the famous guy who was Van Gogh? Yeah. Until after he died? Yeah. I saw that Doctor Who episode about that. I didn't see that. He made a lot of money. His name made money afterwards. I don't think nobody cared about his paintings until after he died. So his whole life was just... Yeah, he was just poor. Yeah. Why did they... Why not? They just didn't care? They just didn't appreciate it for what he was doing at the time.

Yeah. Now you get it. Yeah. Now we're just, now we got so many people that are full of themselves. That's why half this art does really good. Because someone goes, no, you don't really see it for how I see it. We just got enough of those people and there just wasn't enough. Because back then you had to go to work. You had to go work in a farm. You're like in some, you know, you're dumb,

teenage son wants to because look at this painting i did and the dad's like what yeah like is your dad is missing most of his fingers just to put blueberries on the table and you're like look at that drawing uh turning to sports the patek at red sox was the triple a affiliate for the red boston red sox from 1973 to 2020 so it just ended

So they're going somewhere else? Yeah. But I think Pawtucket just lost their team, but the Red Sox moved their AAA team. Minor League Baseball, I wish, had more of a... It's very fun. Let me tell you about this game. Yeah. The longest game in professional baseball history was in Pawtucket between the Pawtucket Red Sox and Rochester Red Wings. 33 innings. Wow.

The game went eight hours and 25 minutes. And the umpire was missing the part in his rule book where he was supposed to stop the game. So he just kept going. And finally they reached the president of the league at like 3 a.m. and told him what's going on. He's like, stop the game immediately. So they stopped at 4 a.m. to resume it later. Wade Boggs drove in the tying run in the bottom of the 21st and his teammates groaned.

Why? Because they had to keep going. He tied it up again in the 21st. He said his dad complimented on four hits. He said, well, I have batted 12 times. One guy went over 13, setting a record. Hey, at least you get a slump. You get it. You get it in that game. You know, you come out of it. Yeah. It got so cold that players were burning broken bats in the stadiums, wooden benches to warm themselves. And the clubhouse ran out of food.

One guy asked if he could go home and the coach let him. He got home at 3 a.m. and his wife didn't believe he was out drinking all night. And he said, no, the game's still going. It'll be in tomorrow's paper, I'll promise you. And then, of course, it was too late to get in the next day's paper. So he had to wait two days to show his wife that it really happened.

And it happened Saturday night into Sunday morning Easter. When they got done, they ran into people going to sunrise service, Easter service the next day. Wait, so they had to finish it the next day? Well, I mean, they stopped it at 4 a.m. Yeah. And then by the time I got out of there and stuff, people were going to sunrise service for Easter. So then they resumed it a few months later. And by then the major league strike was going on. So there was originally 1,740 people at the game.

They stayed? By the time they stopped the game, there were 19 fans left. Yeah. And they gave them a lifetime pass to the stadium. Wow. That's cool. Players went home arrested, come back the next day for a game. But as far as finishing that game, they didn't do it until a couple months later. There was then a sellout crowd of 5,746 and 140 reporters from around the world because Major League Baseball was on strike. And this was a huge thing that they're playing the 33rd inning. Mm-hmm.

which they finished it in that one inning. And Cal Ripken Jr. tied a record for most played appearances in one game during that game. How many? You're not going to say how many? 15. I mean, I don't know how you don't say. Wade Boggs and Cal Ripken Jr. were on these two, were on these teams? Opposing teams, but they were. The umpire took his nephew to the game. He said his nephew never attended another game again. Yeah, that's your first game you go to, and you're like, this is what it is? You're like, yeah.

It feels like this, but shorter usually. That's what baseball goes. It always feels like this, but it's usually not as long. But it does feel like it's never going to end. That's kind of baseball. You got to stay. I would have definitely stayed. Yeah, you would have been one of the 19? Oh, easily. You can't – if you're doing something, you got to go, no, we got to – you got to, you know. I'm a part of history here. Yeah, you got to be like, I got to see it out, dude. Like, you got to, you know.

But it all depends if you have your family with you. If you have your family with you, then you're in trouble. My buddy went to the Braves game. The Braves met on July 4th when he was a kid, the one that went so many innings. Rick Camp, the pitcher, hit a home run on the 18th to tie it up because they were out of players. But they left before the game was over because they were small kids. If you have kids with you, then yeah, you go. You leave. I get it. But also, if you get freezing –

But I don't know. I would try. It would depend on how I went. And then you would be... I think I would think seriously about leaving when I saw the players in the dugouts burn their bats for warmth. That would make me go, I should probably get home. Yeah.

The Rochester catcher caught the first 31 innings before being replaced. Wow, he'll probably get his knees replaced too after that too. Yeah, it's a long, you know. So there's a lot of stuff in the baseball Hall of Fame from this game since it was the longest game. That's cool.

They had a minor league team, Providence Grays, that the Babe Ruth played for. And you get a lifetime pass. Oh, yeah. They tell you that night. Oh, that's, yeah. I don't think I'll ever come back here again. The Providence Grays. The Babe Ruth had his only minor league home run for them in 1914. They won the world championship in 1884. The World Series. They beat the New York Metropolis.

Oh, wow. They were a major league baseball team. Little Nate over there. I know. Aaron just said Metropolis. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So they were a great team. The Providence Steamroller won the 1928 NFL title. They're the last team to win a championship. These are all names that I feel like you grew up watching. Yeah.

That would be, I would think you're, who's playing tonight? Well, the Grays and the Steamrollers. Oh, wow. That's got a humdinger. Let's turn that radio on. They played in a 10,000 seat stadium that was built for bicycle races called the Cycledrome. So every time they got tackled, they would have to go into the stands. Like if they got tackled out of bounds, they would go into the stands. And their end zone was only five yards in depth because they just didn't have enough room.

Just make do. I mean, is this the worst logo you've ever seen for a sports team? Oh, maybe. I mean, is that a human or is it a dog? I'll be honest with you. It looks like a dog that got his face ran over by a steamroller is what it honestly looks like. And I actually kind of now think it's actually kind of perfect. I mean, I don't know how on point it's supposed to be, but it is on point.

Because if you ran over a dog's face with a steamroller, it would start to look human. Because you would knock out all of the dog stuff. And the tongue would hang down farther. Yeah. Flatten that nose. Knock out all the dogs. See what I mean? This guy gets to... He's the same as Picasso. He's like, oh, yeah, we're both artists. No, we do stuff a little different. He goes, have you seen my work? He goes, I have. And have you seen mine? Yeah.

I should just say neither one of her parents are happy. You know what I mean? We don't have supportive dads, if you know what I mean. You ever been to a steamroller game? Well, take a look around. Yeah. Some of my work. Yeah. You like that? Yeah. And his brother goes, why don't you just use a steamroller? He goes, oh.

I think I was just too into it. I need an outside perspective. I got swallowed up. Sometimes you get too close to your work. Tunnel vision. Tunnel vision. They were the first team to play a game under the lights. They installed floodlights in 1930. After they won the championship, a lot of their players left. One guy just started selling insurance.

It was a little different back then. I bet there was, though, this was the different, the longer, that longest game, I bet there was some deep talk in that one. I mean, just some guys that goes, I don't know if I can do this anymore, you know? And then, you know, the 17th inning's like,

You know what? But this is what I love to do. And so I don't see why I shouldn't write it out, you know? And then the 20th inning, like, I don't know, we just broke up. I don't know if it's going to work out. It's ridiculous. I mean, you're just like a different person. Yeah. You know. You're questioning your life choices. You're questioning everything. There's also a basketball team called the Providence Steamrollers. That's tough. They're one of the original 11 NBA franchises. They set the record for fewest wins in a season with six.

This is what the logo should have been. Yeah. They used an actual steamroller. A steamroller. Yeah. That's much better. But like a steamroller. Now, am I crazy? What is it? Is a steamroller a train then? No, I think it's like a. Like to flatten a road? Zamboni, right? Yeah. I mean, that is a weak, you know. Hey, welcome to the, we're the wheelbarrows.

I mean, you're just using like regular... Well, the guy said he did it because he heard someone say, how'd y'all do? We steamrolled them. Oh, this guy. About the most uncreative human being alive. He just heard words. We're going to go get a hot wiener after. Are you? Oh, yeah. Ladies team. I mean, it's just a regular... I mean, a steamroller is... Yeah. I mean, that's...

Who are we playing tonight? The Johnson Rakes. Are y'all just doing... What, are you going to barn and just named everything that was in there? Lamp. You got a...

They got to dodge shitty cones in two weeks. What? Is this, was it a construction site? You were at like a road site thing that the, you know, the hazards. They have the Bobcats. That's already one. What was the Bobcats? Bobcats. Charlotte Bobcat? Yeah. Oh, you're talking about the. Oh, like a Bobcat, like a construction Bobcat. Yeah. That's all right. Kind of steamrolled yourself right there, to be honest.

Yikes. That's why you don't come out? That make you uncomfortable, dude? Yeah. I think you're unaware about what a joke is. The steamrollers coach, they were so bad, he activated himself for two games. Wait, he what? He like activated himself to play. He was so fed up with him, I guess. He goes...

He's like, what are you doing? He's like, what are you, why are you tying your cleats on? Have you seen the mess out there?

Did he say they, so they were called the steamrollers because they steamrolled someone or they always get steamrolled? Well, this is the basketball steamroller scene. Who, but. But the guy who was the promotion guy that came up with it, he heard steamroll. He thought, oh yeah, we should say. He just starts taking off his suit. They're like, what are you doing? I'm going in. Yeah. I mean, the fact that you're called the steamrollers and you just seem like you get steamrolled the whole time. But they didn't know that when they started.

I know, but that's just a sign. It's just very funny to be like, we steamrolled them. I was like, hey, what do we call the steamrollers? Because that's what we do. And then it turns out you were the one that gets steamrolled. That just anybody's there is like, I'm going to, can I, how do you activate yourself to play as a coach?

He did it right before his 46th birthday. A 46-year-old man is, he goes, I can't watch this anymore. Put me in. Put me in. Do we have another uniform? It doesn't matter. It's the 1500s. They were wearing a suit to play in to begin with. It's still the NBA record for oldest player in an NBA game. Wow.

And then they go, 46-year-old NBA game. You're like, God, he made the NBA then? You're like, no. He activated himself. He just said, I'm playing. Did he get a card? That's not how. That's not...

This is the cards that are just, you know. How high can you hold that basketball? He goes pretty high. That was a very popular pose back then. How do you want to pose for this picture? I don't know. Should I just hold the ball straight up? No, make it a little bit askew. Yeah. And then we'll just take the ball.

It's very askew. I always think you always get weird faces with old pictures because they can't believe they're seeing a camera. I try to do this as a joke, and maybe I can still try it. But every old picture you see is always like a family that's like, their eyes are wide open. You're like, yeah, because they're like, what is that? It's like a wizard in the room. There's no like, hey, everybody, chi. It's just like...

They had to stand still for a long time, too. That's a big reason why. For a picture? Yeah, for like 15, 20 minutes. They couldn't hold a smile that long. That's why? That's a big part of it. That's what I always thought. That's what you thought. Have you ever heard that? I think I've heard that, yeah. You have a real line of just stuff that I go, wait, so that's true? And you're like, well, I've always thought it.

I mean, I always thought they just didn't even know to smile. One common explanation for the lack of smiles and old photos is long exposure times. Okay. We went, golly, these ads, dude. Yeah. I mean, come on. Oh, well, that's okay. So there are a bunch of different reasons. So they're saying no smile. Yeah. Maybe it just wasn't as fun back then. Well, that guy. Yeah. Goodness. Did he die? Yeah.

He died there in the photo. Yeah. What is that on his neck? Is that just a mark? Oh, that is a post-mortem picture. Yeah. Oh, geez. Sorry. Oh. Victorian. Okay. There's a lot of different reasons. I recommend you do research on your own, folks. Well, anyway, the steamrollers, they had some stuff going on.

That's a good recap. Yeah. Anywho. Anyway, the rollers had a lot going on. Like a newscast. Oh, wow. Thanks, Aaron. Anyway, the steam rollers lost five to six. The International Tennis Hall of Fame is in Rhode Island. It's a popular tourist. International? Mm-hmm. I don't know if there's a separate Tennis Hall of Fame or not.

I think. I think they probably only need one. Yeah. Yeah. All right. X Games started there. They don't use all the stuff, all the area they have.

That's Serena Williams. That's about it. Is there other people? There's a few other people. We're putting in a Steffi Graf exhibit later. Roger Federer. I mean, he's in the back room. You can talk to him if you want to talk to him. Just ask him questions and stuff. He's there. I'm good. Yeah. And he goes, I don't know. Is that a whole thing? He goes, I mean, he's a talker. He likes to talk.

If you want to go back there and talk to them. Is it a whole thing? Yeah. Yeah. It kind is. It'll be your day. Yeah. You're not going to see anything else. It's like a net I can touch it. And he goes, oh, you know, we should do that. We haven't thought. You're the first person to be here in a while. Yeah. That's why we changed it to International Tennis Hall of Fame. Because we were hoping to get more. Yeah. We're getting a few more people in here. Didn't work. But.

Some famous people from Rhode Island. Meredith Vieira. Viola Davis. Charlie Day. Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Deborah Messing. James Woods. I think we covered that. So James Woods is a big character and family guy. Yeah. Must be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go to James Woods High School. Yeah. Really? In the show, yeah. Okay. That makes sense. He's from, yeah. Okay. The show Another Period. You guys know that? Comedy Central? No. No.

Yeah. With Natasha. Yeah, yeah. That's based there in Newport in Rhode Island because they have famous mansions. The Breakers is their most popular mansion built by Cornelius Vanderbilt. Oh, wow. I mean, it's a weird... You're like, you know, another period. It's a small show shot on a cable network. Oh, yeah. I think I've seen it. It's shot in Rhode Island. Okay. I mean...

I had more fun trying to guess what the show was. All right. All right. Wrap it up? Yeah, we're close. Start. Yeah. These people have been steamrolled enough into this nonsense.

Is this the stuff you didn't want to get to? Is this what you're talking about? Or did we already cross that line a while ago? We crossed it a long time ago. They have an elephant day because their prized elephant was murdered. Oh, wow. How are you not open with this? It's known as Little Bet. She was shot to death by a group of masons while crossing a bridge. I knew a Shiba Mason.

What? No. Sheba Mason's a comedian and her dad's Jackie Mason. Oh, okay. So like the Mason family? Yeah. Maybe. So they shot... They shot this elephant. There's a monument set up. For... Yeah. They have a lot of big gray things there. Steamrollers, elephants, they're called the Providence Grays. Yeah. I think we're onto something. Oh, we're onto something, all right. So...

All right, diverse hands fired upon Betty, one of America's first elephants at the north end of the rustic span that arched Chepachet River, given an observation of the 150th anniversary of the event by Richmond and Edna Kent. What is that? I don't know what that is. The plaque of what? That's just the plaque. Maybe those people paid to put that monument up. It's a memorial to Little Beth, the elephant. It was one of...

The versed hands fired upon Betty. That's just how it starts. That's how the plaque starts. May 25th, 1826 to 1976. Wait, that elephant lived? No, that's when it happened, 1826, and that's the 150-year anniversary of it. So this is an anniversary of the plaque. No, it's the anniversary of it happening. Yeah.

Why would they not just put the date it happened? You don't put an end date on a plaque. Basically, that plaque is saying, we've celebrated this event enough. And so this plaque is to, 150 years, we've talked about this elephant that got murdered, and I'm done. We want to move on. So here's a plaque that says, we did it.

we've given enough to this elephant. We've thought about her enough. What happened? And then someone just walks up, well, what happened to the elephant? That's the first. So the elephant was just shot and killed. Yeah. I think they just, I don't know if they thought it, didn't know what it was or they were just being mean. I mean, if you didn't know what an elephant was, I would shoot one too.

If you saw that thing coming at you. But where was it? Just in the wild? No, they brought it over. It was, I don't know why it's out just going for a walk. I'll bring an elephant over to that place. It reminds me of Greece. I think it was part of a circus. Yeah. Why'd you bring that elephant? Well, that place I went to, you remember, you remember road Greece, obviously because yes, the zoo there and elephant. I thought let's do a zoo here.

I brought an elephant. He goes, well, I don't know if we can even, this is the smallest state. We're not that big of a state. Can't just throw a giant elephant in the middle of this. It went out of the room. And he goes, yeah, but when I brought it, I can't send it back. You know, let me just put it out on a raft. What do you want to do? I'm going to shoot it. And that's how I got shot.

He goes, someone's going to murder that elephant if you don't get it out of here right now. Who would murder an elephant? Oh, man. Diverse hands. Yeah, diverse hands. And we're going to memorialize it for 150 years. And then that's enough. You know what? I'm not against a plaque that ends, that goes. And that's enough. Yeah. We've talked about this thing. They should have more plaques. Yeah, it's time for us to move on. To move on. I like it. Yeah, I like that plaque too. Good for you, Rhode Island.

Was that it? It can be. Was there any one last fun one? Here's a fun one. That was an elephant. The murder is pretty fun, but... The first jail sentence for speeding an automobile was done in Newport, Rhode Island on 1904. The day fun died there. Yeah. The jail term was for five days. The guy was caught traveling 15 miles per hour. That was over the speeding limit? Yeah.

His total speed was 15 because back then they just put in car laws because back then if your horse's carriage was going too fast, you could be cited. So 15 miles an hour is pretty fast for a horse carriage. Another five minutes, he'd have been out of the state. How do they even know they're going that fast? They just eyeballed it. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He starts walking faster. If I can't stay with you, then I think we got a problem.

They just have to walk alongside him. I'm jogging now, and so I think you're going a little quick, don't you think? Feels like we're moving. There's still wild animals on the road that people use as animals to travel. Johnny? They've probably gone by his name. Johnny Cakes. Yeah, Johnny Cakes. That's how Johnny Cakes were made.

Rhode Island. I'll be honest with you. I thought at the beginning of this, I was like, yeah, boy. I mean, that second you started reading stuff, I was like, I don't even, I think we should cancel this podcast. I mean, honestly, I was like, what on earth? We gave it a try. But it turned out. Yeah, I liked it. I like Rhode Island. I did learn a lot. I learned a lot. Good for you, Rhode Island. All right. Thanks, everybody, for listening. I wanted to show this hat. I've been wearing this hat the whole time. Wilson, our boy, John Augustine.

is a professional golfer now signed a deal with Wilson golf. Nice. Got a hat. Uh, that's awesome. Uh, yeah. AMX is, uh, the first golf tournament. It's, I want to say maybe the 23rd, the week of the 20th or something, January will be his first professional golf tournament. He's trying to, he will be trying to play good to get his, uh, his PGA tour card. And so, uh, and he was in here and, uh, yeah. So I have one news update from a previous podcast. No, there was a tornado in west of the Rockies. Uh,

In California last week? Wow. Yeah. Really? Last week? Last week in Sacramento area, Northern California. West of the Rockies. And I looked it up and they said tornadoes usually don't happen on the west of the Continental Divide. Yeah. And I looked up Continental Divide and that's basically the Rockies. West of the Rockies. Yeah, wow. That's what the article said? Yeah. It said Continental Divide. North of the Rio Grande. Yeah.

Yeah, they could just say California. Tornadoes usually don't happen in California, but the guy was pretty lazy and the story had to get out. As always, we love you guys. Again, be normal. Yeah, don't drive yourself crazy. And thank you as always, and we will talk to you next week. Bye. Bye.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.