#27 Best Time To Be Alive
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Hello, folks. Welcome to Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. We are here. We're back. We made it through. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. I hope you had a good time. Everybody, you guys did. Y'all had a good one. Everybody did good. Traveled a lot. Did you? Yeah. You loved it. Did you go everywhere? Traveled everywhere, dude. Here he goes.

Here it goes. How many states were you in? Left your mask at home. I was all over. I left it at home, dude. I don't have to. Did you go to any town that cares if you wear a mask or not? No.

I went to Dallas. It was a major American city. Everybody's wearing a mask. You stopped along the way, though, some places. Did you drive to Dallas? No, I took a plane. Oh, okay. That's good. No mask on the plane? Were you a guy that wanted to be confrontational about it? No. And you don't wear it and hope someone says... You wear it and show it to the owl, hoping someone goes, where's your mask? Where's your mask? Don't mean anything. And you start yelling at them.

All right. No, he wears a mask. I don't, you know, what if someone takes it serious, you know? They might. They think you don't. Yes. So, yeah, we had a good Christmas. We did it here and that was it. I did what you're supposed to do. We stayed, we Zoomed our family.

I zoomed Louis Katz, my buddy Louis Katz, very funny comedian. So we're going to get into the comics. A lot of stuff happened this week, actually, especially in Nashville. And so we're going to talk about that. We're just waiting to talk about it after the comments. So we're just going to go ahead and get into it because we did the Krispy Kreme challenge. We did it. We can't talk about that because I'm sure a lot of these are about Krispy Kreme. Some.

We did do it. We went... Yeah, I think the video was good. The video was funny, at least. I think Brian was the clear winner. Yeah, I think so. I mean, I won, but... The letdown that you... You gave two boxes of letdown. If we're talking just sheer numbers, I won, but Brian...

It didn't phase you at all, man. I was watching back. I was like, you look perfectly fine. Yeah. I'm training for this, man. Could have went to 12. You think you could have got to 12? I'd been hurting if I got to 12. I don't think I could physically do it. Chocolate was a mistake. I knew it after the first bite of the first one. But I've had Krispy Kreme twice since the Krispy Kreme Challenge. Yeah, I've had it twice. I've had a total of...

Seven of them. Twice. So, I mean, it didn't, you know, I didn't want to do any long-term damage to my Krispy Kreme eating. I'm the most consistent. That's probably true. Yeah. How did you guys feel on stage that night, a few hours later, performing? I was fine. I, you know, I eat so bad that my body recovers quick. I mean, it's just like it is what it is.

I usually eat real healthy, so I usually... So you felt it. You felt it a little more than you did. I felt it for a few hours afterwards, but we had enough cushion between then and the show. Yeah. I felt all right. Yeah. They just raised a lot of money for the food bank that night. But I'm glad we got it out. I mean, that was a long, you know, this could be, what are we getting old with? Everybody falls off now. Yeah. No one's listening. We should have played it for years.

Casey Miller. I'm seriously not trying to get sappy, but the Krispy Kreme challenge came out the same day we had to put our nine-year-old dog down. It was the worst day ever. We came home afterwards and sat in our house in silence. I posted a memorial tribute to our dog, Reno, and sat in my chair and cried. Then I saw this.

I can't tell you how much joy I felt. Seeing you guys doing something so dumb for your fans made me feel better. I showed my husband and he smiled. Our days have been dark. This really helped us to laugh.

And laughter truly is the best medicine, even for a broken heart. Thank you so much for great content that doesn't make you feel like you have to take sides. It's an hour and a half of fun. You guys are awesome. A great trio. Merry Christmas, Nate Land. Well, thank you, Casey. We're sorry to hear about your dog. And glad you at least got something. You at least got your mind taken away. That's what we're here for. Right. We're not solving anything. No. Tersegor. Tersegor.

Uh-oh. Tersegor. Listen, guys, I married sore. We have a lot in common, most notably that we think this podcast had potential but lost it around two episodes ago. We don't listen to it, just comment on it occasionally. Feliz Navidad. Wow. That's awesome. You know?

We're bringing people together. They might hate it. Right. But they got to tell the story that we brought them together. Wow. Turr Lurr and Sor Sigur. That's very fun. Congratulations, guys. It's nice of Turr to take on Sor's last name. Yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah. We don't. Sor Ray Lurr could have been the other one. I don't know if we even know what kind of couple this is, but they're together. Good for them. Good for them. Turr Sigur. Yeah.

Bob Loblaw. That's from Arrested Development. Oh, is it? Yeah. Scott Baio's character on Arrested Development was Bob Loblaw. So they're having fun with that. Bob Loblaw. I was like, man, what a name. This podcast is like an answer to a question that's never been asked. We might put that in the bio. That's a terrific summary. I mean, wow. That is our mission statement. Yeah.

that's what's great is, you know, cause they always ask, uh, some people, someone's like, what's your pod? I'll do all these interviews promoting this podcast. And they're like, so what's your podcast? I'm like, I don't know. It's like, it doesn't matter. None of it matters. You know, and I might say that it's like an answer to a question that's never been asked. Yeah.

That's, I mean, that's, you know, all right. Kyle M. Dear Nathaniel, I am a teacher in China and I can't go one more day without you using the word good as an adverb. The correct word is well. I've heard five-year-old Chinese kids speak better than you. One of them even has a guided horse. Perhaps bridle path should be catching these. Where, Kyle? Well, Kyle.

How about I tell you, I'm not really sure what an adverb is. So how does that make you feel? He gave an example here. I didn't even pick up on it. Where was it? Underneath it, where it says, here's an example. Oh, I've read. Oh, here's an example. Incorrect, he plays golf good. Correct, he plays golf well. Look, I'm not an adverb guy, and I don't talk about adverbs. I don't think I've ever talked about them.

He thinks of pronouns, a noun that gets paid to be in a sentence. I say good a lot, but I will say, I do know that when I'm saying good, that a lot of times it's not good. But I do it, it's saying it different, which sticks out. I'm in a job of words. So he plays golf well. I'm not going to talk like that. That doesn't fit. It's funnier when I say it's good. Good is what's funny. Yeah.

That's what's funny. If it gets under your skin, that means it's probably a better way of being funnier. All your Chinese kids, you're not going to make it in comedy if they talk to them a little bit. I'm sure they speak better than me. But we're not competing for the same job. Good on them. He spoke well. Aaron Webber.

I'm going to save everyone some time and admit I mixed up St. Nick and St. Patrick. Guys has the same name as you. I woke up the night after we recorded the podcast in a cold sweat. I said, I realized what I did and I'm going to get so much flack.

from people for that. I immediately got like four tweets about it. Like you call yourself a Notre Dame alum. You call yourself a Catholic. You're getting, Whoa. Yeah. So I had to hop in the car. I had to nip this in the bud. So I went on there and commented that. And a lot of people picked up on it. A lot of people noticed, you know, too many people listening, man. They get it, dude. Hey, well on you for correcting. Yeah.

You like that, Kyle M? Yeah. You happy now? Marty Wall. Sounds like a good, sounds like an uncle. Marty Wall. Is that, do you know him? No, I disagree with you. Oh, it sounds like you would know him too. Who's going to dinner tonight? I bait his buddy, Marty Wall. They went to college together. Yeah.

We get there. Marty's been there for an hour. He got here early. I like how Aaron is coming into his own. The first few podcasts, he didn't say much and seemed like he didn't care to be there. Now he pitches in a lot and it's hilarious. I agree, Marty. Thank you. Yeah. What's your problem, Aaron? You'll get sick of me real soon. Why don't you care to be here? You just wanted to be here? You had other stuff going on? I just didn't want to come in. Dude, what if I came in episode one?

came in hot and just talked the whole time. He'd be like, all right, me and Brian are going to talk real quick. Yeah. I would have told you to your face. I took the computer away from Brian. I'm fine with, I'm fine with correcting things. That's true. That'd have been like calming down. Thank you, Marty. Yeah. Marty's right though. You have gotten better.

So we'll let you know. Marty, keep an eye on it if you don't mind. Varen starts slipping. I'd like a little heads up because maybe I miss it. Maybe I'm in it and I need you to eventually be gone. Well, he mentioned St. Patrick's Day last week is Santa Claus. Yeah, that's true. Maybe a little less. Yeah, maybe you're getting too much. Maybe your secret genius is almost like

That's completely eroded, by the way. Nobody's been saying that for a while. Eroded. Just use words that are... Is that a secular word? We don't... I just don't say these words. I would never say eroded. Your back is the genius. Yeah. That's all it takes on this podcast. It's a sliding scale.

I'd push her back up. I'm a team player. That's like giving an alley-oop. I'd just help. I got an assist on that. I appreciate it. Yeah, you're welcome. Here we go. Amanda Rosvogli. It's actually not bad, man. Not bad. That's probably what I would have said. She turned around. Right? Yeah, I think that's good, actually. I think Amanda Rosvogli, I think she'd go, yeah? And she would just be like, I'm like, is that how you say it? She's like, yeah, that's close enough. She wouldn't even try to correct me.

Hello, folks. Love the podcast and all of Nate's work. As someone who has opened gifts on Christmas Eve, I wanted to clear up some of Nate's confusion over this. I'm Hungarian, and in Hungary, Christmas tradition is that baby Jesus delivers gifts on Christmas Eve, and they are open that night. Santa Claus or St. Nicholas or St. Patrick actually visits children on the eve of December 5th.

Children clean their boots and put them in the window for St. Nick to fill with treats. If they were good or coal, if they were bad, crop us, crop us also comes this night, stealing children who were bad. I can't remember if it was Brian or Aaron who said it might stem from a central Eastern European tradition, but they were right. That was Aaron. That was there. You thought of it because of the children stealing. Uh,

Is that correct? Right. That's the only reason you thought that? Yeah. You go, what is that, Russian for taking a shower? Well, that's St. Nick's Day. That's what I was talking about, where you leave your shoes out. Yes. Outside your room. Hungarian. Hey, December 5th. I mean, what are y'all just... You're like someone that celebrates their birthday for the whole week. You're like, all right, this is enough. We got to do it every night? It's the 25 days of Christmas, dude. Well, it'd be the 20 days. Yeah, they start on December 5th. That's not when it starts.

That's when Toyotathon starts. Are you confusing it with Toyotathon? Are you? That's what you are. You like Toyotathon. Did y'all celebrate that? We did have a Toyota growing up. Toyota Previa. You got a pretty good deal on it at Toyotathon. This episode is brought to you by Toyotathon. We do Toyotas, and we do them good. That's...

I, uh, that's awesome. Uh, Amanda, my, my dad, uh, my dad, they told me they, they, he did, he got Christmas Eve presents. They did Christmas Eve presents. So he also was raised in, uh, rough childhood. So, uh, so we, we just said our parents did it. And now you found, you found out your parents did it. I think they lied to my dad. I think my dad only got stuff Christmas Eve and his brothers and sisters did it.

He goes, you know, for some reason, I got mine outside on Christmas Eve in the yard. Did everybody else do that? Adam Harreld. Wait, what'd you say? Well, I was just pointing out that we pointed, we just said last week that we thought our parents, that was their tradition of Christmas Eve. And you kind of ridiculed us for it. But now it sounds like your parents also did that. Yeah. Well, I'll stand by the ridicule. Adam Harreld.

The shame of not eating 36 donuts is nothing. One time I claimed that I could eat a whole box of Sam's Club members marked fruit snacks. Sam's Club bulk box of 100 pouches of fruit snacks. So on New Year's Eve, we had friends over and I became the main event. Yeah, I ate 63 and had the most colorful night in the bathroom of anyone that night.

Consider yourselves lucky. That's very funny. That's such a funny thing to say you could eat. I would say I could eat that. That might be the next one. I was going to say the old me would have read that and gone, 100 pounds, could eat 150 probably. Now I'm 80. I mean, the number is 63 pouches. I'll be honest with you. We might be able to give this one a go. Those pouches are unbelievable. You still got to do those little donut holes. I do got to give these donuts. This is a world record. Did you somewhat...

did a video and they only got one right she got yeah we reposted what was her name do you know uh i can look it up but she got to her second one couldn't quite finish her second one yeah it's the no water that's the obviously the key that's the kicker that's like drinking a gallon of milk or something someone tells you to do that you can't do it these pouches might be it might be next christmas

That's what we'll do every Christmas. We just try to eat a bunch of stuff. And we get better at it, Aaron. That's the goal of this podcast. You come out of it at the end of it, you're better. I could do 10 pouches. We have type 7 diabetes, but we...

Are eating a ton of donuts. Is it type seven? Well, I'm just making up. That's called a comment. I know. I'm just saying it was funny. Oh, did you? Yeah, I wasn't. I don't think you got it. I don't know if you, you know. To go back to Carl or what's his name? Walter. What was his name? Marty Wall. Marty Wall. Please mark that down as Aaron being not getting.

uh it's one mark against you joe d makes sense that nate thinks the statistics are made up when he calculates the guy having a two out of four chance of winning an emmy equal to 99 look my words come out quicker than my brain can stop them and that's where we get

In your defense, someone else commented on that and said it would be 50% chance. But there was two winners, so it would be more than 50. It would be more than 50, yes. It wouldn't be 99. No. But it would be more than 50. Because if there's two winners, he's two of the four. What would that be? 75? 75%. Maybe. Yep, 75%. Definitely 75. Let's go to the fact checkers. 75%. Max Reiner.

I tried fact-checking Nate's comment about Wayne Gretzky mail. I couldn't find a single thing about it. Then later in the episode, he talks about scientists making things up. Need beehive and air to start holding him accountable. Hey, they let me fly, man. Max, I just floated out there. I think that's true. I Googled it last night and couldn't find that. Yeah, well, they don't let you look stuff up. You think he wants that announced? Wayne Gretzky put a stop to that.

Someone told me, yeah, I don't know when I heard that. I heard that before the internet when I heard that. When you couldn't prove that. When you couldn't prove it, you just believed everything you heard. So I got a lot of stuff still stuck up there that has some old boxes. Brian Kennelly, surprised Nate didn't point this out, but if St. Nick was so humble that he snuck into someone's family's house to help them without them knowing to avoid hurting their pride.

How did the story then not only get out, but get out to so many people that it became part of one of the biggest holidays ever? Seems like old St. Nick must have went about flapping his gums quite a bit after that movie. I don't know if I understood that in any of that sentence. Well, he's basically... But if St. Nick was so humble, they snuck into some family's house to help them...

Without them knowing to avoid hurting the pride. All right. How did the story then not only get out, but get out? Yeah. I was reading it and I was somewhere else. That was one. You ever read something and you're like, I'm not in this at all. Yeah. I like that. That's actually a great point. That is very funny. That would be that you could do. I mean, Brian, if you ever get in comedy, you can do that as a joke. Is he a comedian?

Brian Kennelly? I meant him. Yeah, I think you should get out of it and actually open up a spot for Brian Kennelly. I thought you were talking about me. I was about to write this down. No. I think if you'd open a spot up for Brian Kennelly, we need another Brian. I was just so happy you were calling me by my name. Yeah. It's like, thank you. Finally some respect. No, you could do that as a joke. That is a very funny joke. Yeah. That is a very... The idea that... That almost... If someone wants to see how...

A joke can get started. Like, that's how I would look at his joke and see that thought process to think, yeah, how did, I mean, you got so many people. He's like, I don't want to be obnoxious. And you're like, yeah, well, we're all celebrating. Paul M.E. Mueller. I knew a Jamie Mueller. You guys left out the best story of St. Nicholas. He punched a guy.

At the council of Nicao. Nicao. Nicao. I was way up there. He wouldn't have turned around. A guy named Nicao. He would just keep walking. I mean, this is a town, right? But if a guy was named Nicao, if they had a council of it.

A guy named Arius was going on and on about how Jesus wasn't equal to God the Father. It really grinded Santa's gears, so he proceeded to slap or punch Arius in front of 300 bishops and Emperor Constantine. Ho, ho, heretic. Heretic. Heretic.

I meant to take that line out, and I forgot. Sorry. Really? I'm going to have a word with abbreviations over here after the show. The council agreed with St. Nicholas' view, and that's how we got the Nassim Creed, which many Christians say every week. Some good Catholic history, right? Yeah. Church history. Is this the first time hearing it? No, Arius, the Arian heresy, dude.

I know what I'm saying because you don't know anything about your own people. Paul has commented on every show. Yeah. And I appreciate all his comments. And this was a very good one. I missed this, but yeah. This was a good one. He got me. I mean, he got everything. This one got it. This was the whole, Aaron's never heard any of this. And even though he's- Ho, ho, heretic. Ho, ho, heretic.

That sounds like you got to go to the doctor for that. Have a heretic. Yeah, that's not good. Brooks Neal. Imagine hearing Jordan talk about how many rings he's going to get and then he never makes it to the finals. That's what Nate and Aaron did with this challenge. In a thousand years when history class is being taught on another civilian station, this will most definitely be Jermaine, but it won't be remembered as Clutch. I'm not even sure if I know what Jermaine means.

I think Aaron's used that word. Yeah. Do you? Y'all use it quite a bit? I used it on the last podcast he made probably before. It just means. Oh, so Brooks is making. It just means relevant. A lot of inside jokes packed in there. Yeah, that was a lot. Wow. I don't think I forgot that. Brooks brought it. Brooks brought the heat. Good job, Brooks. That's great. All right. Yeah. Well, we did it. I mean, that was all of it. We're about 15 minutes in.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. All right, let's read a couple more comments. We're making sure. Mike Wilson, as a doctor, I just felt I need to clarify, there is no nutritional benefit to eating your poop. It contains all the things your body didn't need and pushed out. I don't know how Aaron or Bo Staff let the comments slip by so easily. This has quickly become my new favorite podcast. You are all awesome. Mike Wilson, a doctor, I go to him. I'm going to start going to him.

Those are the kind of questions you bring to your doctor. That's the kind of questions if you're a doctor in just some small towns, you just get people. I watched an episode of What's the Bear Grill Show?

Man versus wild. Are you going to act like this is a documentary? No, this is a straight up television show. I watched this show about Survivor. You know, the game show? Yeah, no. It was Bear Grylls. Okay. He picked up a piece, a huge piece of elephant. Yeah, I remember this. And squeezed the water out of it and drank that. Yeah. I mean, there's nutritional value in there. That's what I'm saying.

He's talking about eating it. Well, if you eat it, you'd get the water as well. You'd just get a bunch of other stuff. Well, the circumstances that he was in versus just... A monkey at the zoo? You're right. A monkey that's got it living its best life just at the zoo. You don't think it is?

I think sometimes they have hard days. I think one zoo got killed because of that kid thing. But besides that. You think that's the only monkey who's having a bad time? At the zoo? At the zoo? They get one little island and that's it? I think zoo. Well, most of these animals at the zoos, they're there because they can't survive in the wild.

You know, there's a elephant sanctuary here down in Holandwald, and they take people's used Christmas trees, real trees, not artificial, because the elephants eat it. There you go. You're going to tell me, what's the matter, Ian? You're going to tell me that these elephants aren't living their best life? You're right. You're right. I think these animals are just... That's clearly germane to what we're talking about. Yeah. On the flip side of this, I... It really has nothing to do with our term. Yeah.

You know, they let the killer whale, Shamu. So one of those, they let one of those whales back out in the wild, was murdered immediately. Really? Yeah, by a dolphin. They're still...

Someone thinks they planted something on his office. But no, it was killed because it just didn't, you know. 60 Minutes did a piece on a guy, some billionaire who was buying up zoos just so he could take the animals and put them back in the wild. Most of them, they don't make it. I mean, just getting slaughtered.

I mean, look, we talked about Tiger King. There's definitely bad things. But overall, zoos. I've gone with that Columbus Zoo. They're there. It's good. People try to do good things for these animals. Of course. And they're hurt and they can't survive. They really try to reenact all those. Well, it's not an animal hospital. It's not just a bunch of sick animals. But they do have hospitals.

They do take care of them, but they don't just go around the wild. This one's hurt. Let's take it to the Little Rock Zoo. Well, there's a doctor that lives in the wild, and the animals go up to it and goes, I have a fever. I'm going to need to spend the rest of my life in a zoo. You don't tell me an animal loves a zoo. They're not a lion that lives a long, long life. They're injured, and that's how they get there. There's eagles in...

We went to it. Dollywood. There's a whole exhibit with these eagles, but they can't fly. And so they could never make it. And they, I don't know if they, I think they, I'm pretty sure they can't fly. They clip their wings so they don't leave. No, no, they were all, they're injured. You think, so you all think zoos are just terrible? No. I'm just making a joke about that. Just kidding around. No, you do. Do you go to zoos? I go to zoos a lot, which is a great lead into our next question. Yeah. How often are you going to the zoo alone?

That is crazy. Holly Carden, how often are you going to the zoo alone? That's crazy. I didn't even, we were just talking about zoos. I didn't realize that that was the next question. Yeah, last week you said, we're debating which ones, the exhibits you go see, like the snakes or whatever. You go, if I go alone, I might. A few people are like, you're going to the zoo alone? Oh, I go alone all the time.

I mean, all the time. This week? No, if I'm home with my family, obviously I'll go with my family. But maybe if you're on the road, you might go with the opener. But I'd go alone. That's when I've gone. When I'm on the road and you're like, I got all day to just be by myself. Walking around a zoo alone is great, man.

If especially, I mean, I go to like going to a mall, I would look at it. It'd be better to me. It'd be better than a mall to me. If you could conveniently just kind of go in and out of a zoo and walk around alone, I would love every second of it. People need to be alone. So it's not bad. It's not bad to go do something alone. Holly Carden actually did my album artwork. She's a really gifted illustrator. Oh, there you go. Good job, Holly.

Riley Box. The podcast has slowly become Brian doing research and creating topics. Nate coming up with hypothetical situations and Aaron wheezing in the background. I'd say it's at its peak. Keep up the good work, especially you, Brian. You hold it all together. Thank you. There you go, Brian. I'm going to get to that last line. I know. I put that in, but the rest of it, Riley wrote. Riley's like, those are not my words. George Reiser. Hi, folks. So yes, you do have people listening in Austria. Hey. Yeah.

And yes, we're doing all right as a country. Thanks for caring. Just wanted to clear up a few things about Kropos and St. Nick's Day. By the way, Aaron, December 6th. Someone else said December 5th. I know they got, leave was December 5th. Kropos wasn't as scary as a kid. Mostly hung out in the back while St. Nick visited. He asked you if you behaved that year. You said yes and got some treats. Transaction complete. So Kropos didn't really dive into it. You could just lie to the...

You could lie to him. He didn't fact check you at all. He didn't fact check. Kromp is just, you good? You go, yeah. And then it's probably actually only getting the good kids that probably go, wow, I couldn't have been perfect, so I'm going to say no. And then he's still on good kids and the bad kids. So he actually rewards. Because the bad kids are lying. Yep. The bad kids are liars. Wow. It's a dark turn. Yeah.

Kelly Jones. I'm with Aaron. We need structure. I came from a family where we took turns and thanked everyone in my husband's family, went at it like animals. My first Christmas with them, I was stunned and shocked by the chaos. That is very funny to think.

Like if you go into, you marry into it and you're like, oh, let's go see what their Christmas is like. And you're this proper, you unwrap it, you throw the paper away immediately. Then it just goes somewhere else. It's just a zoo. Yeah. It's probably good to have marry into. You want to have both.

So be like, our family's not crazy. You know, I did a joke about that. Like, I don't know if I ever said it anywhere. But I was like, you always like say, like, you always think your family, you marry, you're like, us people are crazy, right? We're not, we're normal, right? Look how nut job they are. And then you're like, well, you're probably the nut job family. That's...

All right. Thank you guys so much for the comments. We love it. As always, leave them on. You can email Nate Land at natebargetzi.com. Twitter, Facebook. Are we on Facebook? Yeah. Instagram. YouTube, of course. YouTube. All of them. We get a lot of them. We've been getting hundreds. Well, this week, because we released Christmas and Krispy Kreme Challenge, we got about 400 total.

So, I mean, that's, yeah, we talked about this, right? Like about the, you know, 400, we can't read that many. Yeah. And so, yeah, make them good. You know, make them good. That's what you guys bring just as much fun to this podcast as we do.

Some would say more. A lot of people would say more. Actually, 400 people would say more. The fact that somebody made a YouTube account for Ter Segur. Well, they got married, dude. No one just didn't make that up.

You not believe in their marriage? Okay. You don't believe in their marriage is what you're telling me. That's clearly a real thing. On the internet, you think they would lie about this? I'm sorry. I watched Office last night where he goes, you found it on Wikipedia, which is all information that comes from everyone in the world. So you know it's true. So you know you're getting the best information.

All right. It has been a crazy year, 2020. This is the last episode, 2020. We did it. We made it through this year. I'd be shocked if we make it through next year. We've had a bit of a week here in Nashville, specifically Nashville. We can start off, I mean, I don't know which one to start off with, but the lighthearted one, I guess, are...

not lighthearted to me is very personal to me, but my mural. So it's Zany's. I don't know if a lot of people in here might not have seen it, but our, uh, if they don't know our, uh,

My home club, all of our home clubs in Nashville, Tennessee, is Zany's. Zany's Comedy Club. It's a club we go to a lot. It's where we work. It's one of the first clubs that headlined me. I really came up through Zany's when I would always come back home. Very graciously, my face was painted on their wall, along with George Lopez, John Witherspoon, Joe Rogan, Breck

I almost said Brett Kreischer because they always make fun of Bert Kreischer. You know, I mean, Chelsea Handler, Chappelle, like a million, you know, a bunch of comics. And so my face was on the wall. It was on a very good, prominent spot. It's a big picture. I mean, this was honestly a gigantic honor. One of the bigger honors I've had in comedy.

If not the biggest I've had, very just felt terrific about it. And then a dump truck drove through only my picture. Only my painting. Where this truck goes. It goes to, we've got it up now if you're watching, but you can also see it on, we're posted on again on all the social media stuff.

It's unreal, dude, how much it just hit my face.

I mean, you get George Lopez right to your left, right? And he's totally untouched. Totally untouched. You would have, if we were real people, you would go, is John Witherspoon's okay? And he's like, I'm fine. I got a little scratch on my cheek. And he goes, what about, where's Nate? You're like, oh, Nate's. He didn't make it. Yeah. Yeah. Are you, did you check? I don't even have to check. He was hit that hard. It's over. It doesn't matter.

So we went down there and did a little interview on Channel 5, Brian's old stomping grounds. And they were down there, and we saw it. I got a brick. The brick's here. It's in the room. Oh, hey, get that brick right there. We grabbed – this is my eye, if you're supposed to see it. This is just the – does it look like my eye? I don't know if you can see. Does it look good? Yeah.

The guy that painted it, his Instagram is 1.4.4.0. Yeah, 1.4.4.0. Yeah. The paintings are unreal, man. Yeah. I mean, that's the part that hurts is he's so good at what he does. Yeah. That every one of them looks so good. And we're showing some of the stuff. There's Mitch Hedberg up there, Henry Cho. Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz.

I've seen some murals at different comedy clubs. These are the best that I've seen. They don't look cartoonish or caricature. By far the best. By far the best of any comedy club. They are unbelievable. The fact when you can say who everybody is. The only reason you wouldn't know is because if you just don't know who the person is. That's the only reason you wouldn't know who they are. There was me. Dude, he ran over that

The potted plants. Yeah. Well, interestingly, they put those up because this has happened before. Yeah.

A truck's running to the club. Or it's just a car hops the curve and you're in line. It's going to take people out. Oh, good point. Yeah. So they had to barricade it. So what happened was there was a dump truck. He's parked up the street. And there's porta-potties right across the street from the door of the Zany's on the other side of the street. So the guy driving the truck wants to go to the bathroom, gets out of the car, starts walking to the bathroom. The truck...

There's a video of it. I mean, it looks like the truck is like trying to sneak by. He's like, shh, shh, shh, shh. Yeah. And the guy's like just walking, has no idea. And it just goes off. I mean, dude, the fact there's no cars right there, there's nothing else right there. And it gets some steam going and then just, right? I mean, dude, that knocked the barricade down. Yeah. And then, I mean, it was on the stage.

It was on the stage. Aaron texted me, and I posted this, but he was like, hey, nobody's hurt, but a truck just ran through the wall in his 80s. And I was like, whose mural was it? Please tell me it was Nate's. That's the first thing. Yeah. I said, you're in luck, man. It pretty much only hit me. It was only Nate. It's like they had it out for him, honestly. Right in the middle.

Yeah, that was we're looking into it to see if Turler was maybe behind the dump truck. We don't know for sure. There's there's there's some conspiracies about that. But it's unbelievable that it was like, you know, I was on the news all day. Right.

They kept going back live from Zanies. It was a very funny thing to be like, at that moment, which is crazy because then we have everything going on. But at that moment, there was just not enough going on. And they're like, let's go back to Zanies. How's that wall coming back? And they're like, well, we're boarding it now. It's a fun story. It is. It's a fun story. Yeah. Do you feel a little bad for the, out of all the places the sky could have hit,

Oh, he hit a club that it's going to make the news, get celebrities tweeting about it. Yeah. Uh, I mean, I just felt bad for him. Well, everybody's, everybody's good to see how good, you know what? It's funny. It could help them in the fact that it's, uh, it could help them in the fact that people are going to see his work. Yeah.

I mean, cause all this went and now you're going to, Oh, you're talking about the artist. Yeah. What were you talking about? Oh, the jump truck. Yeah. I feel bad for the artist. Obviously for the dump truck as well. He's like, what kind of trucks you use? I'll tell you, we use some powerful trucks. Yeah. I mean, the truck looks, it's a Peterbilt truck. Looks great. Yeah. I mean, he just backed out and drove away. Uh,

He, we're not even sure he knows the show. So we're looking to track him down to let him know. Hey, you ruined a building. They asked me to FaceTime him. I go, hey, does this face look familiar? It's, yeah, it's, yeah, he said the guy, the guy was kind of like, you know, he's like, he's like kind of laughing it off. But he's like, what, I mean, what are you going to say? You know, what are you going to do? It's like, ah, yeah.

One of the crazier pictures is the green room in the green room. So the green room is right next to it, and you just see that tire. We were all there the night before performing. Yeah. You had a great show. Was this after the Krispy Kreme? No. No, we did that on Monday, and then this happened Tuesday. The episode hadn't come out yet, but it was in between when we recorded it. Yeah, so this is the day after we ate those donuts. Yeah. I think this was the next week. Oh, yeah, you're right, because we saved it for a week.

Yeah, it's crazy. So anyways, they're going to get a new picture. Might change the picture up. Maybe it's bad luck, that picture. So change it up to a different one. Maybe put a different comic there and then move you to somewhere else. Don't take me away, dude. That's the best. Put you over on the John Chris side where nobody sees it. That's a hot spot, dude. I'm in a hot commodity. Look at all the action we're getting over there.

Killer Bees is right there. I mean, we're all... That is a great one. Oh, it's the best spot. Or it was. For sure. That's why it's getting hit. Right. Life comes with risk. And I wanted to... And I'm in the... I didn't want... They put me in the prime spot. On the news. You said a lot of comics have been canceled in 2020. You didn't know yours was going to be by... Well, I was like, this has gone too far. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, that lady, when you said the reporting of it and you said like, she said like, how was it with Andrew? She's the guy. He's just made a lot of jokes. Yeah. And then I came down and I'm like, and right when I get done, I was like, that was funny. Right. Like, it's the only thing I asked Brian. And then you're like, yeah, you're interviewing a comic. You're not going to get a straight answer out of these people. Right. And nothing could happen to a comedy club without that.

Everybody that gets interviewed is trying to be funny. Yeah, they wanted to make it a serious story about 2020 and how hard it's been, yet another thing. And she interviewed Andrew Dorfman, the owner, and he said, what happened here? He goes, big truck hit wall. Yeah.

That's a great answer. Andrew, who'd just done his first set there in 20 years the night before. Yeah. And then this happens. Well, we won't let that happen again, Andrew. Yeah. Dude, that's so funny. He said big truck hit wall. Yeah. Big truck hit wall. Yeah. That was his answer. I mean, they go, well, what did happen? You're like, I mean, he nailed it. That's what happened. I grabbed a brick, took it home. It's on my mantle. Oh, yeah.

Aaron? I got one too. Did you? Yeah. We got my dad. My dad is up there. I've been grabbing like 10. Oh, yeah. Was he really? Yeah, he grabbed a few more. My sister wanted one and then...

I think we were going to sign some or something. I don't know. We were doing something like give them away or something. Like someone wanted one. It's kind of fun and funny. It's the most historic building in Nashville to me personally. Yeah. I mean, it means more to me than... You should check out the Ryman. It means more to me than the Ryman, than the Opry or any of these other places. It's like everybody...

that I ever cared about as a performer. In your business. Right. Just to me personally. It definitely means the most. Yeah, I agree. I mean, Zany's is, yeah, it's a very special place. Everybody loves Zany's. It's been there forever. Every comic you can imagine. They have posters of Seinfeld being there in 82.

I mean, it's Jay Leno, like for New Year's Eve before tonight. So, I mean, everybody's been there and it's one of the best clubs in the country. And, you know, the fact that we get to go there as much as we do and kind of get a

play around and you know brian dorfman andrew dorfman the guys that own it i've been very close with them and uh very close with brian and then so brian i mean it's just the fact that brian's the most pro artist one of the more more and more pro artist people i've ever dealt with in uh in this business which is a is a thing you know him my lawyer is very every i mean everybody i've

The people that I have. Bob Loblaw? The team, Bob Loblaw. When you get into all this stuff and you have any success, you get a lot of people that are on your team or whatever. Everybody's great. Dorphin's an extremely pro artist. My lawyer, Lev Ginsburg, is super. He's the most pro. Dude, he all...

lose it on someone. He's like, he's like, defends me like my mom. Like, you know, like if you try to say something about me, my mom will destroy you. My mom's not having it. You do not talk about our family. And, uh, which has always been, my mom's always, she always got kicked out of baseball games, little league baseball games, every game.

Every single game. I mean, it was, and we'd just be sitting there and he'd be, are you here to tell me that's a strike? She's right behind, we're in Rotary Park and Hermitage. You told me to screw that so tight. And then the ump looks at her and she has to go watch the rest of the game from the car. And so we'd always have to, my dad would have to park by center field because he knows my mom will eventually end up back in the car. So she can then see the rest of the game.

Because she was getting, I mean, she went with just not even really unpacked. Like, do you need a chair? She's like, no, I won't be here long. I'm going to give it to this umpire. And that's like my lawyer. So, all right. A little crazier. Luckily, not as...

uh like as sad of a story as it could have been uh but we also had the uh explosion on christmas day on second avenue second avenue to people that are not from nashville broadway second avenue second avenue was the street for us growing up way more than broadway yeah broadway i never even what's funny is i would go downtown but i would only go to second avenue i wouldn't even go to broadway

Broadway was all the honky-tonk bars, but you just didn't get to go there. Yeah, it was definitely more gritty then. Yeah. And Second Avenue was the street that you would drive up and down in high school. Wild Horse Saloon was there. Wild Horse Saloon. I saw a wild horse. I saw a horse get loose on a horse carriage there. It's a wild...

This is a picture from that wild horse. And we'll show the bombing in a second. There's... It was... I remember I was... I want to say me and Laura. We go eat...

One of the, or suddenly we get a drink at the top of the bar and you can look down onto second Avenue and a horse and buggy was there. And his horse is just losing it. And the guys on the back, just like trying to get it to calm down. And it's just making circles and then just takes off down the street. And someone's like, stop. People are screaming, stop it. And I remember thinking, I mean, it's, it's like a car.

It's a horse. It's, you know, 1,000 pounds, 2,000 pounds. This is a great Jason, this comic, Jason Good, that I started with. He had a great...

joke about how much horses weigh like how much this horse weighed he's like thousand pounds fifty thousand pounds i don't know who knows like you know because it is such if someone said how much is one way you're like i don't know a hundred thousand pounds two tons i don't know i don't know how much any of this stuff is uh but it was running down i remember just the lady being like stop someone can help him and you're like how it is a wild horse

How can we help this horse? And the guy just back there like, hey, just trying to get it to calm down. And it just took off and ran into a car. Wow. All right. Yeah, but that was, you know what? You'd have killed for that time this past Christmas. That's Nashville, man. That's what we do. We have horses. Right. I just remember when I was growing up in high school.

In Lebanon, if we got to go to the Spaghetti Factory, we thought it was the nicest restaurant in the history of restaurants. So the Spaghetti Factory, which was destroyed by this bomb. Was it really? Yeah. And we would go there. It was a prom. That's the only time I ever went there. That's what's crazy. We talk about eating. I was talking with Shea Mooney. It was his birthday yesterday from Dan and Shea.

And Shea will be on this podcast at some point. But we go eat with him and his wife and his sisters. And they're all from... Shea's from a small town in Arkansas. He's 500 people from his town. His wife is from a small town, 190 people. That's unbelievable. She was like, when I was growing up, Chili's was crazy. It was like if they went to Chili's, it's like... I mean, it's like going to...

the French laundry place they make fun of Newsome that went to, but like it would be in your head. That's the equivalent. Oh yeah. You can even wrap your head around it, an LA place. And, uh, so like, yeah, like chain stuff. Yeah. I remember a spaghetti factory. I think we'd go there as a prom and you're, I mean, it's like, I don't even, you know, if the bill was $80, you're like, I mean, I don't, I can't afford. You didn't even break money when you were on a prom. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have enough money to go to cooker. Yeah.

You ever heard of the cooker? No. What is that? That was a big, that was a big, Oh yeah, man. The cooker was where it was at. The cooker, the cooker was a nice, it was a step up. It's like a step up from Outback. Yeah. So like, yeah. Which Outback was a, is a pretty big, you know, Oh, Charlie, those places are great. They're great. I know. Yeah. Look, we're, yeah, we're all fans of this,

I know we're on the same page. Yeah, we're on the same page. Yeah. But going to Spaghetti Factory, yeah, I remember. Yeah, it's nuts. It was very fancy. Now, is it even still considered that? There's so many awesome restaurants now in Nashville. I had my company Christmas dinner there once a few years ago. I loved it. Yeah, it's great.

So that, yeah, so that happened on Christmas Day. I mean, it was crazy. So Brian, you had a place right next to Titan Stadium. Yep, close to it. Yeah. The guy I know still lives there, and I immediately texted him, and he said he was actually up already that morning, felt it, shh.

Hurt it, obviously. Shook the building pretty bad. And then he saw the smoke. And you have some damage on your... Not his unit specifically, but the building itself has some structural damage. And it's about a mile away from the blast site. That's how big that bomb was. It's like Krakatoa. I mean, you could hear it a long way. You could hear it a long way. I mean, I knew people in Mount Juliet, Wilson County, which is 25 miles away. And they heard it.

Or felt a shake. Not heard it, but felt a shake. My mom's friend said she heard it and I'll do it. My mom told me this Christmas day and I ridiculed her friend. I'm like, Mom, that is the crazy. There was no way I thought that was true. I owe her a big apology. I would have reacted the same. I still question whether she heard it. Well, I've heard of Michael Clay.

Who listens to the podcast. Yeah. Michael Clay and his daughter Moxie, who also is a big fan of the podcast. And they felt it. And they live out, they live in Lebanon. They felt it. Or heard it or felt it. Yeah. Well, our buddy Tanner Newcomb, who's a comic here in Nashville, he works right down there. He works the graveyard shift at a hotel. He was down there when it happened.

Oh, really? On 2nd Avenue? Yeah. He said it hurt his hearing. It was so loud. Yeah. He's got it back. He's fine. Was he close enough to hear the warnings? I haven't talked to him yet in person. We texted a little bit. I think they told him to evacuate before. They were going around telling people to evacuate. So he was right in the thick of it. Wow. Yeah.

I mean, that's got to be crazy. It was such a it's it's, you know, look, thankfully, no one was down there. There's all this warning. I mean, that also adds into just everybody's what they think happened. I mean, they caught the guy and they think he just didn't like 5G, which doesn't work.

Well, they didn't catch him. They think he's 5G. I haven't called it either. He was just mad that it didn't work as well. No, I'm just saying it doesn't work. It's just funny that you're against 5G. Supposedly this guy that did it, that died in it. Yeah. I thought you said they caught him. No, I don't know. They didn't. Yeah. They didn't, but they didn't. He doesn't like 5G. They think 5G, they think people, which who knows if people think that or not. Yeah.

I'm saying 5G doesn't work. My phone is the 5G phone and I take it somewhere and it just shuts off. So, I mean, that's what's crazy. All the phone, that's the craziest thing though to me is 911 was just shut down. I was hearing to Knoxville, Tennessee, but I mean, all middle Tennessee could call 911. We didn't, if you had AT&T,

Whatever AT&T you had did not work. See whether it's your cell phone, internet. We didn't have internet. We have Verizon cell phone. That's where I learned you need to mix up the companies. Can't put all your eggs in one basket. Can't put all your eggs in... My neighbors just left. They went to...

New Jersey? Dwayne, Diane, where you park your car in the driveway. The Myers. They went to, no, New Jersey. They did go to New Jersey. They're family. They're from there. So they just, they were thinking about like, should we go drive up to Jersey? They were driving. And then they just were like, they couldn't, I mean, they're nothing. No phones. No, you know, you got to just sit with your family. Learn a lot of stuff. So yeah, it ended up being a wild week.

And, you know, and thankfully everybody's fine as far as, you know, the people that live down there. Yeah, all that stuff is super damaged. And, yeah, the bomb is so crazy. Such a big bomb. That's the, yeah. How do they not catch that guy up to that point? But we can head down those roads, those conspiracy roads. He was playing Downtown, the song Downtown by Petula Clark. Yeah, downtown. I don't know the song.

downtown that's all singing I'm gonna do now you know it now you know it oh that yeah I'm going downtown that's the song where are you going downtown we're hurrying I'm going downtown in an earlier round sugar we're going did you know it no it's a different song I thought you would know it but last week you guys didn't know roll off the barrel

We're all the barrels. We're all the barrels. From the 1840s? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry. I know your dad listened to that music, but see that joke? That joke was, I'm not calling him that old, but his dad's that old, so that means he's that old. See, that's how comedy works, Aaron. You get it now? Yeah. Saint Nick. There's, yeah, I know Downtown. You would know the song. Play the Downtown song. Can I play it? Yeah. I don't know.

It's totally going to get flagged. You can't play it. 15 seconds of it. Oh, you can play 15 seconds of it. That's enough. That's enough for me to recognize it? Petula Clark. She sounds like someone that's going to read a Cinecom in it. I mean, that sounds exactly like her. That does sound like a folk, for sure. You probably got to go a little bit farther ahead. I don't know if you should have started. You're going to get too far. Are we wasting our 15 seconds? Life is making you.

Who's havin' downtown? Okay, I know that one. Downtown. All right. Kaboom, right after that. That was, yeah. He played that in the morning. That is evil. I don't know why they sing that. Yeah, that is evil. Why would you have to play the song downtown? And then, you know, you are downtown.

He's not a fan of downtown, clearly. Yeah. He didn't like, you know, look, traffic's tough, dude. That's how I would talk to him before he did it. Look, if I try to talk him out of it and you're like, I'm going to blow it up, man. I can't handle it. I'd be like, hey, man, look. Yeah, it's getting crazy, dude. I don't like it down here. I agree, dude. Traffic is crazy. Have you been to Spaghetti Factory? Same, what it used to be.

I get it. But I don't think we need to, you don't want to do something like that. You know what I mean? He's like, I'll do it. I'm going to do it. I'll play the downtown song. Like no one even knows that song. No one even knows that song. There's no reason to do something like that. I'll give a warning too. What are we talking about? And then there was another one in Lebanon, Tennessee. Yeah. That one I'm not sure about. It was in between Lebanon and Murfreesboro, the community of Walter Hill.

Rutherford County. Yeah. It was a van, like a- A box truck. Like a FedEx. It's not FedEx, but it looks like a FedEx truck. Yeah. It was a box truck that I guess they said was playing the same song. Yeah. And- I mean, do you think that happens where someone just hears that and they go, yeah, I heard that song on the wall. And then he starts- I mean, it happens. That's like when Journey, after The Sopranos, Don't Stop Believin' became number one on iTunes. Everybody was like, oh, wow.

Well, there's still going to be people that see this. It's a, you know, it's a weird look. I mean, we make jokes about all this, but it's actually the only bombing like you could actually make jokes about because, I mean, he died and he clearly wanted to and no one else did. And so the, you know, I mean, besides the, you're a little scared, a little nervous. Besides that, yeah, I mean, people are making, you know, it's like making jokes about it, you know.

Yeah, you guys bailed on me, man. Whatever helps you sleep at night, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I'm taking this seriously. I didn't, you know. Down in town. When it happened, I got a text from Aaron and said, finally. And I didn't even know. And I was like, I didn't know what it meant. You know, it took me a few hours before I realized what it was. I got one from him that said, mission complete. Yeah. I was like, I don't know what this is about, but.

I guess Nate's mural got hit again. Have you all gone through Aaron's Amazon? He orders some weird stuff. None of it makes sense until it makes sense. You know what I mean? Like all the parts, you're like, what is this even going to do? And he just said, you will see. He got bumped from open mic by Tanner Newcomb. He was like, I'll show him. I'll show him.

This feels good. Like all of us back together. Hello. So this episode 2020 is coming to an end. And so we, you know, here, we just talked about something that bad happened 2020. Look, we know everything on 2020. Now, if someone talks about it, it was not a good year. It was not a good year at all.

And we all went through hard times. And a lot of people went through way more hard times than I did. Everybody's hard times are their own personal hard times. Some people go through them worse than others. And I feel nothing but sympathy for everybody. The actual person that has to struggle through stuff, that's who I feel sympathy for. Not the grand scheme. But it's like, yes, if you're listening to this, you and you and you, I feel bad if you had to go through something and you had to deal with more. But we did not want to...

just talk about negative stuff in 2020. So the idea of this episode will be to tell you why this is still the greatest time to be alive right now. Just to give you some look, and I don't think any of our listeners will take this the wrong way because I think everybody's a level-headed people, and they don't.

If someone finds this somewhere else, they might. Again, not saying bad stuff happens, but how about some positive? It's you're still currently, and I'm not saying, someone falls out of a building, that guy, it wasn't the best time for him to be alive. But in general, broad strokes, by far,

Never a better time to be alive than right now. Right. Yeah, you're absolutely right. I did some research on it. If you just look year to year, you could certainly argue some years are worse than others. 2020 was definitely a worse year. Yeah, and 2019. Yeah, and for many, many metrics. So broad strokes, though, you're talking decades and sometimes centuries of

undoubtedly the world is going to be a much better place in most of the areas that we consider. And I don't think people think about that. I know that, you know, I feel like if you tell someone this, like, yeah, of course. And you're like, I know, but tell yourself that man.

Be in it. Remind yourself, you know what? It is. And I should be at least be happy for a second. Don't just be miserable. Don't just, you know, it's like trying to, you can throw yourself your pity parties. I get it. But also when you walk around, just try to be like, all right, you know what? This is a good time. And if I'm down on my luck, this is the best time to try to turn that around. You have the most opportunity to turn this around. So let's, you know, let's enjoy this.

2020 is the best year I've ever had. So from what I read. No, I'm not saying. Just turn around. You know what, guys? It's amazing. There's companies that are through the roof right now. 2020. Amazon. If you're Jeff Bezos, that guy is like, I mean, he won't have a better year. 2020, honestly, might be his best year ever.

So we have him on the podcast. He'll be the only thumbs up on this podcast. This is one Jeff. He's like, these guys get it, dude. They get it. He's a zillionaire. I was reading about this. Some stuff surprised me. Most people would say the world's getting to be worse, a worse place to live in. Yeah, yeah.

As if there's another place to live in. The world's the worst place to live in. You're like, where else? Where do you want to go? Outside of that. Kind of our only option right now. This is it. Look, Mars, obviously. We might already have people on the table. We do have people on there. You don't believe it. I believe it. We haven't even, no. Is that podcast? No, that's not. Well, we talked about it a couple weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have one that we have. All right. Sorry. Sorry.

The prevailing thought is the world's getting much better place, but we have so much more access now to media, social media, TV media, all of it, that we know so much more about the bad stuff happening. It's not that it's worse. It's actually getting much better, but we just hear about the bad stuff so much more.

We're more educated about it. I'm rethinking this whole episode now. It's actually the worst. Now, that is true. That, yeah, media, 24-hour media, 24-hour news, and social media. Yeah, you got rid of social media, we'd go back to living an amazing life. You wouldn't get stuff out, though. I mean, you know, I say that. That's probably not true. But it's...

Yeah, that's very much true. But it still doesn't mean that you'd rather live now than you want to live in 1900. No, no, no, no. No, of course. Now is much better. Yes. It's just that we hear about the bad stuff much easier. Yeah, but it doesn't make it worse.

No, he's just saying there's a perception. It gives you a perception because you hear all about it now. You're able to hear about everything. You're not going to get a newspaper from Syracuse, New York in 1900 and find out somebody got murdered there, right? Now you see it all over Twitter. Right, yeah. But just because you hear about it doesn't mean that it's worse. No, he's saying it creates a false perception. Yeah, so it's fake. Yeah, yeah.

So we're all talking about the same thing. Was that a flip side? Would that have been a proper flip side or germane? Could you have used any of that? Oh, man. I'm glad we're back on the same page because I felt we got lost there for a second. On the Gregorian calendar, do you think 2020 was worse? As a secular year, that's not like other years. What do you think?

I don't know, man. All right. Here's some numbers that – look, I have no idea if these are true or not, but I'm going to read them because they sound good. Yeah. Every day, the number of people around the world living in extreme poverty, which is recognized as less than $2 a day, goes down by 217,000 people. Every day that happens. That's awesome. This is according to – Those guys, by the way, extreme – I mean –

Extreme property is doing better than what we're doing on this podcast. We're still at zero. This podcast is in extreme property right now. We're below extreme. We would look at those people and go, God, what's that like? That must be nice to be up there. How many of you get $2 a day? Are you kidding me right now? Yeah.

Nine out of 10 Americans polled said that global poverty is worsening. But instead, over the last 40 years, the world has seen the greatest poverty reduction in human history. In 1981, 42% of the world lived on less than $1.90 a day.

Now it's less than 10% that do that. See, that's the – so like if you polled everybody, if these polls – again, we've made fun of polls, and who knows if those are even – Sure. But just so we can have a conversation, we've got to make up something. Yeah. These polls are just – we asked just my family, immediate family. And –

That would be funny, every poll. If all the polls were fake and we found out, it's all just, who'd you ask? He goes, just around the holidays, I just ask my aunts and uncles and cousins. You're like, see, this is just your family. It's like, yeah, it's a good general. They live in Minnesota, and so they're probably the rest of the country. And you're like, all right.

But that example is good. Everybody thinks it's worse. But that is why... This is why I like this topic as an episode because it's just to go like, no, man, it's getting better. There's no... That's... We have...

Being positive is everybody just puts like negative. Everybody, I try to live by a way that I assume everybody I'm about to meet, if I meet someone, I assume they're probably smarter than me, which is most everybody. Statistics show that's true. Yeah. We did a poll on that. It's 100% accurate. 100%. God, 10 out of 10. Can you believe that? So you need to meet someone and you go like, ah,

I'm assuming they're smarter than me and they're a nice person. Because generally, your percentage of meeting just a maniac that's going to punch you in the face from nowhere are unbelievably low. Unbelievably low. So just maybe assume everybody's smart. And people need to, you need to enter in that space. Like when you go into something, go into it with a better attitude. Even the dumb ones, they know something you don't.

I've heard that said before. Assume the other person in the conversation knows something you don't know. Yeah. Which is almost always true, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we talked about like just, you know, oh, like just, yeah, be open, listen. You know, look, the bombing stuff, I was saying this downstairs, like,

There's a lot of conspiracies about what happened to this bombing. And it made me think when I was reading them, I was like, I do think you need some conspiracy in your life. You need some whatever regular news, but I don't think it's bad. You need someone to be like, I don't even think those buildings are real buildings downtown. You need something to go like, all right, well, that guy. You just need a balance to kind of go like, I don't want to just get jammed this one thought.

everybody's saying this one thing. I do like to hear from one other person to be like, let me just figure it out on my own. Yeah, but by the time this podcast comes out in a couple of days, it could be a whole new theory on that. Oh, I mean, yeah. I mean, whole new theory. Yeah, exactly. According to the World Bank, which sounds made up, the World Bank, but around- The human fund. Money for people. Money for people. That's what this sounds like.

I got you guys a gift card to the World Bank. That's where you guys' money is at for this podcast. I deposited straight into your World Bank account. You don't have that hooked up yet? I didn't even know I had one. Yeah, I do. Y'all got so much money in there. I can't believe it. The number is 555-555-555. Well, according to the World Bank, around 88 million people were thrown back into extreme poverty this year because of the pandemic.

which is terrible, but it only takes us back. It doesn't set us back to the dark ages. It goes back to 2017, the rate and the way the world's improving. We'll be right back to the best poverty rate in history by 2023. Boom. So it's a, it's a slight setback. Yeah. I mean, look, if you're one of those 88 million people and you're listening to this podcast, you are not happy right now. I can tell you right now, they, they are not thrilled.

But I get like, everything's got to be kind of talked in broad strokes. Right. You can't individualize everything or we're never going to get anywhere. So everything's got to be kind of talked in these broad things. So in general, yeah, everything's good. We all have friends that are laid off. Or it's getting better. Yeah. And then some are getting jobs. Brother-in-law, he's going to get a new job. He was laid off. I think he's getting a new job. So yeah, things are getting better.

I mean, kind of along those lines, in 1961, food supply in 54 out of 183 countries was less than needed. But now that's only true in two countries. So world famine has greatly been reduced. We're getting fatter. Well, we are. We're getting fatter. We, during the pandemic, ate a lot of donuts that weren't needed to be eaten.

We thrive. Life expectancy has greatly increased, but in the United States, because of what you just said, we've slightly ticked down, but we're one of the few countries. That have gone down? Slightly, yeah. Because we're eating Krispy Kreme challenge? Yeah. Most countries are going way up. Yeah. This podcast alone changed the numbers. Imagine like 700 AD or something. Are we in AD now? Yeah. Yeah.

780. I know y'all look at me like I say something wrong, man. And then I question. The fact that you even say it makes us look at you. I thought you were going to say 700 pound guy. Did he go 700 AD? No. I'm saying the life expectancy there in 700 is probably 40 or 35. Oh, yeah. In 1900, the world average was 31. 1900? Even then? Yeah.

And it's not so much that because everyone was dying at that age. So many people died early as a child that it set the average down. If you got to a certain age, you couldn't live to be 50 or 60. Yeah. But so many people died in childhood that it put the averages way down. Because babies were not making it. Because it was, yeah, you're born. You know, they have, you know, 1900. You think about 1900, I'm like, yeah, you had to be born in a tent in the –

right they didn't have you know and you're like no they had buildings man you're like did they i feel like that's what that's that's what's going to end up being what if you say 1900 yeah that's what everybody's going to think you like my daughter but when she's old enough to leave you she's like 1900 it's like well you guys like why because dinosaurs ate them that's what you think why they live because dinosaurs are snatching them up you're like yeah part of the reason

That's what I'm going to say to her. Is I'm going to go, yeah, that was a gigantic factor. The T-Rexes were obviously gone, but the raptors, you couldn't find them. And they sneak up on you and they want you to go. In the year 1800, so 220 years ago, 43% of the world's children didn't make it past the age of five. Wow. So almost half. Almost half of the world's children? Good night. How do you even get that stat? Then they pulled everybody? Yeah.

How did they get that stamp? That's the best guess I have. I mean, 1800, they were probably keeping records at that point, right? I guess. I think they just clapped a lot for...

They clapped at each other. Like the Bargetti family does? That's how we do it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'm just trying to. The race now down to near. Trying to lighten the mood. Baby genocide over here. That's the name they should call him. Baby genocide over here. I went to, we went to Jefferson Davis's house as a field trip. He's a comic. Grow it up. Oh. Yeah. Oh, the Jefferson. I thought it was a local comic. He's very funny. Yeah.

These are the kind of field trips you're taking about Gabrielle. We go to the first White House of the Confederacy. Yeah. And you're just in his family's home. And they're like, oh, yeah, his daughter died right there. She fell off the steps. His son died. He had like 12 kids. Eight of them died. You're just like, wow. Yeah. This guy. What a sad life this guy has. Yeah.

But that was just normal. It was just like, yeah, half your kids die. It's like cats with a litter. It's like some of them are going to die. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, baby alligators, I think, don't make it. A baby turtle, their percentage is tiny. Yeah. Look at a baby turtle percentage of making it. When a turtle's born, the mom leaves them.

And then they got to get to the ocean on their own. And it's a tiny... Yeah. One in 10,000 survive to adulthood. Estimate. I mean, pretty wild. I didn't know that. Huh? See, you learned something right before the year wrapped up. I love that you... You thought turtles had it easy. Easy living. You're the... How did you know that? I love that you knew nothing about childhood mortality rates, but turtles, you're all over it.

Before you read that, you knew that 1800s, only 50% of kids made it? I did not know that, but I also didn't know about turtles. I didn't know the baby one, but I knew turtles. I know turtles, I mean, they don't even have a fighting chance. I think if you're born as a turtle, if you open your eyes and you're like, I'm a turtle, dead gummit, and then you're like, you just have no chance. That's what I picture. Just don't open your eyes.

And just when you open your eyes, just be like, please don't see weird hands. And then you're like, and then you ask the people around you, do you have a show on me, dude? Don't say it. Don't say I have a show on you. And he's like, yeah, you have a show on you. We're not making it. One of us is making it. He's like, dude, there's 10,000 of us. And he goes, one of us. One of us.

He goes, how's that impossible? The water's right there. I mean, you see it. It's not like they go across the Appalachian Mountains. I mean, it's like you can throw a football the distance they got to go and they get wiped out, dude. They just get, they can't do it. It says by seabirds and fish. Wow. That's a tough life.

Anyway. Just open your eyes. Oh, crap. I'm a turtle. That's the least one. I mean, if you're a baby lion, you're like, all right. And they have a... What are animals? Just in general, what are animals babies? Were they higher than the 1,800 humans? All animals? Maybe. I mean, just in general, how many... Animal babies. I would say an elephant baby maybe has the best chance. Yeah.

Oh, like, you know,

I'm so glad you have the laptop now. Yeah. Deer. I mean, thankfully, they broke it down by different types of animals. I don't think there's just a generic all-animal lifespan. That's what we're looking for, right? No, no. I was looking at like... Oh, we're looking for life expectancy. Yeah. An Amazon parrot, 80 years. Isn't that a big thing that people buy parrots and then they die? The owner will die before the parrot? Well, maybe. Because you buy a parrot, you're not buying a parrot at...

10 years old you buy a parrot when you're 40 yeah and everybody's gone out of your house and then you uh then that parrot lives to 80 and then we just got a puppy yesterday and it's life expectancy is 20 years and I was like this dog's looking at me like oh my god dude yeah you gotta take care of yourself I think the dog I know I think the dog's getting closer to Ruth just cause it knows

You're not going to be there maybe physically, but definitely not mentally here for the whole run. She was looking at me like, at least show me where the food is. Just show me. Do you know where the food's at? Yeah. Let me show you where the food's at. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the – I want to see – These are the 15 animals with the lowest chances of survival. I've never heard of any of these animals, which I guess makes sense. That makes sense. Because they're all dying. Survival of the wild are in zoos. They're not even making it out of zoos. Oh.

Oh, man. They just weren't meant to live, I guess. I mean, how do you not survive in a zoo? That's where we're helping you, and they can't help themselves. Yeah. They should call BetterHelp, is what they should call it. BetterHelp.com. And they should talk to somebody. They go, what do you think it is, man? Why can't you? It's 30 yards. You got to get it.

What's the, is there the lower low chances are raised due to at least two of the following factors? It's political, of course. Political instability in the site. Of course. Politics are in everything. You can't just get away from it. Oh, so this is interesting. So the opportunity of establishing an insurance population, I don't, okay. I thought I knew what that sentence meant.

In zoos, for these 15 species, it's low due to high cost or lack of breeding. So they can't get insurance for the animals because their survival rate is so low? So they don't have a lot of these in zoos? Am I reading that right? Yeah. You don't think I'm reading that right? I checked out. I didn't even listen to you. I don't think this is insurance the way we think it's insurance. I thought you left early. Oh, hey, Aaron. So, mammals...

Mammals, mouse, a rat, and a gopher. Those are not doing good. They have a hard time.

The birds, I don't know any of them. The climbing rat. The Amsterdam albatross. You should say there are much more specific types of mouse. It's not just all mice and then rats. I know, but so you think someone's going, what kind of mouse? And I go, the Mount Leffo brush fur mouse. And they go, all right, well, thank you. Because I definitely know, yeah, that mouse has a lot harder time. You think there's someone at home listening to this going like, well, that makes a lot more sense. I don't know.

Because it's not a typical house mouse that has got his life together and is born into a nice family. If it's a Mount Leffo brush furred mouse, do you know where those people come from? Those mice are just struggling, dude. Champagne climbing rat. Chypan. Chypan.

Is it champagne? It's not champagne. It's not champagne. I know that one. A champagne climbing rat. Their life might sound luxurious, but they ain't making it out, dude. It sounds good. It's all a facade. That's a big word. Tropical pocket gopher.

And obviously you can tell why they're not making it. The pocket is literal. They're in pockets. People keep them. Tropical pocket gopher. Is there other animals? What's amphibians up there? Go look and like what's- Mostly frogs. Is there better numbers? What's up with pictures? That's very- No, some numbers. I just want to see like some numbers that say- So high, yeah. Is it like the one in 10,000 sea turtle that you can't make it?

I feel like you're Michael Scott. He's Pam. Pam, look up how long animals survive. She just makes up some numbers to tell him. Yeah, he could do that. He could make stuff up. It's the... This is... Yeah. I mean, why does everybody got to write a paper about everything? You know, you click on a...

Now you see what I got through research of this stuff. Good night, dude. Just someone just throw out a number. Everything's like, all right, I dove into this shit. Well, I don't. Good night, dude. I just try to look up some quick facts. Look at every website you click on. Here's a 40-page. Get out of here, dude.

And charts are ridiculous, by the way. I've learned that during COVID. I don't understand a chart. None of it really makes sense to me. I don't know what the numbers on the side or the bottom really are. And none of them make sense. I'm tired of hearing, like, out of one every 10,000. And everybody's like, well, that's high. Here's a good graph. What is this graph? I have no idea what it means.

This doesn't even make sense, dude. We got a graph problem in this country. These people that make these graphs, and they're so – I feel like there's a graph community that's so into it that they – like a graph person is like, dude, that graph is so perfect. And to a person that's like, I don't ever – graphs are just not in my life. I don't really use them a lot. And so you need to calm it down a little bit.

Because the last time I saw a graph was in elementary school. I said, you can't be throwing all this nonsense out at me. I sent Aaron a bunch of graphs for today's show that I thought might be helpful. We have a bunch on here. Yeah. I got them pulled up. Yeah, I know. I'm just saying, he just says he didn't like them. These are...

Very intuitive. They're nice looking. They're organized. That's a normal graph. Okay. So that shows what the life expectancy was in 1770. Was 30. Was like 28, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Depending on which country you lived in. Yeah. It was around 28 to 35. Yeah. And now in most developed countries, it's anywhere from 60 to up to 80 in Europe. Wow.

60 in Africa. The graph across time, we kind of just stay at the same average till a little at the 1920s or so. Till the Roswell crash. Yeah. I was going to ask what happened there that everything started trending upwards. Walmart. When was Walmart, May? When was Walmart? I think it was later in the 1920s. I don't know, Aaron. That's a good question. Do you remember when it was being put up?

1962 Walmart founded that late I mean that's a good question I don't know the answer to that but I think a lot of vaccines happen I think they cured polio smallpox which last week you said instead of making the world's smallest Christmas card this guy should be working on smallpox yeah so I guess he's like I'm retired

He's good. But life expectancy, as you see, has went way up since the 1920s. Yeah. So good for you, guys. A woman in South... No, that's just one. I guess anybody in South... No, it was a woman. I'm sorry. Average woman in South Korea by the year 2030 will live to see her 90th birthday. Wow. What's their hip size over there? Is that the hip? They're not hip. They don't care about hip size, right? I don't know. In Africa, the life expectancy has went up 10 years just in the last decade. Wow.

And where? In Africa. Yeah. Yeah, Africa is making – well, they're making big strides because I feel like they are – like they just have a lot more places that are way like old time. And then so now they're going to get – yeah, water is becoming better for them. My brother does a lot of stuff, GOD International. Yeah, I got a lot of missionaries in my church. There's a lot of PowerPoints that I got to question now. Yeah. I'm giving them money for something. Fixing water.

Fixing water? Yeah. My brother, we gave someone, they raised money. We did the giving Thursday. They raised money. I think it was some lady had to walk forever to get water. It's insane how far these guys have to go to get water. And so they were able to build her something to have water. Clean drinking water? Her life expectancy shot up that day. Cancer, which you've talked about on a previous episode, why aren't they doing anything? Should be solved.

They are making progress. In the United States, the cancer death rate fell by 25% from 1990 to 2014, saving the lives of 2.1 million people. That's a pretty big chunk. Yeah. 25% is a lot, but let's get on it.

So they're making strides. Let's get on. We got a lot of doctors listening to this. Mike Wilson. What was his name? Yeah, I think that was it. Was it Saftar Khan too? Yeah. Dr. Mike Wilson and Dr. Khan. How about you guys team up, cure cancer, and call it Penguin. This will be a vaccine. Everybody's got to go. I'm here for the Penguin.

Speaking of vaccines. What's a penguin's life expectancy? Great question. In Antarctica and also in Alabama. Do both. Arkansas is where the... Yeah, that's what it is. Arkansas is where it's from. See, do life expectancy... 15 to 20 years. That's it? Not bad. Some live considerably longer. I thought they can live longer than that. So I guess that means nothing. How do they die? Let's see that. Heart attack. Wow. It's all the blubber. So...

How do most penguins die? If they die on the sea ice, their bodies fall in the sea when said ice breaks up in the spring. They get eaten by scavengers like skuas. Yeah. I don't know what that is. I feel like you're getting emotional during that. They're birds. I'm just laughing. A skua's a bird. So they get eaten by other birds. Yeah.

How long do skuas live? They're like, oh, they live forever. Well, yeah, I mean, it's... So the bird, skua doesn't kill the penguin. It just eats it when it's dead? Yeah, they can wait because, I mean, they're dying left and right. You know, they walk, they just wobble around and they don't get anywhere to go. You know, can't hide. They're in Antarctica.

You should go to Arkansas. And guess what? If you've ever been killed by a skua, they'd be like, I don't know what that is. Then run over by a truck, though. Vaccinations. 86% of all one-year-olds in the world now have been vaccinated against diphtheria, tetanus, and whooping cough. I think I had whooping cough as a kid. Those three are big killers, I think, around the world.

I think I did. There's a good chance Wutmikov hasn't been around since the 1820s, so it could have been something else. Oh, well, you just went back to... Yeah. That's the child mortality rate and how it's dropped drastically. Are we still talking about babies dying? All right. Look how much better things are, though. Yeah, they are. Is this all... What is your research on? Just...

I mean, you're like, what are we going to call this episode? I don't know, Baby Death, I guess? Like, good. That covers most of it. Fertility rates have fallen. Had to look at what that meant. And we're still on it. We're still talking about baby death, technically. This is a good one, though. People were having way too many children. Yeah.

in countries where they're overpopulated and couldn't have to feed them. But now fertility rates among women are way down in these developments. What? What's going on over here? I don't know, dude. He doesn't, something got him going. Something got him going with it. I'm trying to think what you said that would have made him laugh. You said people are having too many babies. Yeah.

In countries where they couldn't feed them. Sorry. Keep going. Did that make you laugh? Just the whole situation. Yeah, the whole situation is that we keep – Brian being like, yeah, people are having too many kids. Thankfully, they're having less kids now. They're just looking so annoyed. Yeah. The whole thing was funny. I've asked to get off baby deaths, and we can't veer off of it.

I mean, he thinks he keeps going off of it. He goes, all right, dude, I'll calm it down. Fertility rates are pretty low. All right, dude, I'll take it easy. People are not having babies in other countries. I'm like, good night, dude. Every sentence that comes out is just more babies that are not being born. I just want to make this final point. I'll move on. Yeah, I mean, you got to stand so that you're running a –

Everyone thinks the world's global population, we're going to be way overpopulated. Yeah. But according to UN research, it's going to level off. And by the end of the century, we're going to be at 11 billion, which sounds like a lot. But we're not going to be overpopulated like a lot of people think. But go to Montana and there's plenty of room up there. Yeah, the overall population thing, I've never bought into that. I mean, you go drive places, you're like,

It's overpopulated in cities. We have so much land. Anybody can go anywhere. You can drive. I mean, go to, I mean, go to, isn't there parts of, when I drove across the country, you would drive in parts where like, there's no, they would say, I remember one place it said, you got to fill up for gas.

because there's not another gas station for 200 miles, maybe a hundred miles. I don't know. You know, it could have been two exits, but it could have been, I think it was like, there's no more flying J's. And it's just, I was like, ah, no gas station. He goes, nah, there's BPs and stuff. There's no flying J's. She's like, I like a flying J. He goes, I know that's about a hundred miles away. You go, all right. They just don't do them right here. And he goes, nah, it's just not, they never really took off here. Uh, but I do remember driving in, uh,

Because I remember Laura got in an accident right when I, she called me. And so I'm not going to have any cell service as I was driving. And Harper was four or five months old and Laura got hit. Just a little car accident. So she calls me and she's like, we got in a car accident. And I'm like, kind of like, what? Like, what's going on? And I'm like entering an abyss. And like the last thing for the abyss is like, we're in a car accident. And then that was like it.

And then, but it was, it was just like, it was nothing. She was fine. What's the next graph we have? Not what he would want in a baby survive vet story. Unlike what Brian drew before. So baby killer over here. Go ahead and read the next thing. That's good.

Every day, 325,000 more people gain access to electricity. Wow. It's amazing. How many people? 325,000. That's awesome. Good for them. As they just cut it on now. This is the first thing we see. The first thing they hear is this podcast. I'll go back. That was overrated. We don't need it. Every day, 300,000 more people gain access to clean drinking water. Good for them.

Each day, an additional... That's a very funny thing to say. It's such a gigantic thing for them. They're like, it's good for them. Good for them. Each day, an additional 650,000 people are able to get online for the first time. Access to internet. Yeah, good for them. That's a big one. That's a big one.

Yep. They live in just a nice, easy life. To them, life is better. And they're like, wow, we get to check the internet. Everything's the worst. Most people think 2020 is the worst year ever. It's actually, according to these statistics, the fourth best year ever. The three best years were 2017, 2018, and 2019.

So the next year is like, so what's the next one? It will be 2018, 19, 20, 21. Yeah. It just basically just keeps going. Is there ever one that skips? I mean, I think there's bound to be some, like 2020. I think 2021 will probably get back to being the best. Yeah. That'd be like 1993. You're like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, maybe 2020 is. Violence is way down. Conflicts are on the decline. I mean...

That shows there's been two major countries fighting with each other almost every year since the 1500s, but none of that's going on now for a while. When the Spanish flu happened in 1918, 1919, World War I was going on. So not only are you dealing with a major pandemic, you've got a world war. So you can't just tell everybody to stay six feet apart. Yeah, they're having to get after it. Yeah, that's tough.

And that's how it spread so quickly. One, because there's soldiers all over the world. And then when they came home, it ticked up again. Well, it was hard to tell them.

You had to send pigeons to go get back. That's how. And they don't even know where it originated from, but it was called the Spanish flu because Spain was not in World War I. They were neutral. So their news, all they were doing was reporting on the flu. Yeah. So everybody was like, golly, Spain is just, it's terrible over there. Where the countries involved in war, it said they were censoring their news to make it more positive. Yeah.

So they weren't sharing all this information. So it got called Spanish flu just because they were being more honest about what's happening. Oh, that's why. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. I would have said because they caused it directly. The first reported case. It started there. You go, yeah, because they started it because they hated it. Well, they made it in their labs. The first reported case was in the U.S., actually. Their Spanish labs of 19...

Back then, medical professionals advised patients to take up to 30 grams a day of aspirin, a dose now known to be toxic. Wow. They could handle it back then. There was men back then. You can't handle that much aspirin? If someone goes, don't take 30 milligram aspirin, I'd be like, well, you need to be specific and say how many pills that is. Because I need you to be like, oh, don't take five of them, eight of them. What is it, 10 milligrams? Yeah.

No, you take... For aspirin? An ibuprofen is like 200 milligrams. What did that say, 30? Yeah, 30 grams. Not milligrams, grams. Come on. I mean, then, you know what? Then I'm dead. I hope you're happy, aspirin, because I'm dead, because you try to get to... Because you want just... 30 grams, dude. Consistency today is the... I know, but you're...

He's saying 30 grams. I know, but to go like, well, don't eat 30 grams of aspirin. I'm like, well, it says milligrams, so what am I supposed to... I'm supposed to do the conversion in my head? How much? What is it? How many pills would that be? Four grams is too many, it says now. And they were telling people to do 30 a day. If 30 milligrams... How many milligrams makes up a gram? I have no idea. I'm looking it up now. You're looking it up. A thousand. So... So... So 30 grams...

Times 1,000 is 30,000. I'm talking it out loud in my head as I'm doing it. 30,000 divided by? That's 300,000. Oh, yeah, 30. This is how we get the wrong statistics. That would be 150 pills, 200 milligram pills. That's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot. They were telling people to take that. Yeah.

I mean, that's worse than the doctors telling a pregnant woman to smoke. They're just going, you need to take 150 pills. Can you imagine being a doctor back then and you don't just go...

You go, you should take, what was it they're saying, 30 grams? 30 grams. You should take 30 grams of aspirin. And then the guy is like me that goes, all right, but I don't really know. So what is it? How many pills is that? He goes, it's 150. Yeah.

And you don't think one doctor goes, that just doesn't sound right. Sounds like way too many. When I hear it like that, that sounds like way too many. Like he goes, I've been saying 30 grams, so I don't think, you know, I kind of got used to it and I don't think about it. And then when you made me break it down, see, it's guys like me that are dumb, that come in and save the world. Because we go, well, I don't, you know, because the doctor's like just signing out, here's 30 grams of take-em-out. He doesn't know.

And then I just go, yeah, I didn't go to – I mean, dude, if I couldn't make it out of high school in 20 – in 1997, I definitely probably – I mean, I would have never made it out. I would have made it through second grade in the 1900s. So I'm going to have to be like, you're going to have to break that down a little bit more than what you just wrote. And he's going to say 150 pills. And I go, you want me to take 150 pills? Two to three times a day. Two to three times a day. You're going to take 150. 450. Yeah.

I go, dude, I don't know. So just eat them? Just eat these all day? Is that what you want me to do? Do you want me to go? Should I go? You're saying like, so when I go to the movies and they go, do you want candy? I go, no, I got to take. I'm kind of eating aspirin right now. So it's kind of my thing. And everybody's like, finally they go, yeah, that is too much. This says many of the deaths attributed to Spanish flu were actually caused by aspirin poisoning.

I mean, on the news, they're telling you to get 150 of them. They don't even sell that in a bottle. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, 100. I think I'm going to, you know. Can you imagine going, or you buy the ones that are like the 10? It only sells you 10 aspirin. Oh, yeah. I'll take 15 of those, please. Is this for like a month? You're like, no, before I get to my car. Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow. Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow. Are they in stock? You guys get it?

That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot. People are working fewer hours. Yeah.

31 of the richest countries in the world says 14% decline in hours worked per week per worker. There we go. There's more work getting done, though. That's what I want to know. I think so. I think sometimes more wrong work getting done. Yeah. More work's being done. I have a theory there's a lot of procrastination going on and a lot of just nonsense work getting done. I don't think stuff's getting as...

stuff doesn't get finished like it should, even whether whatever it is. You think more so now than before? Like years ago? Yeah. I've never, you know, obviously I never thought about what was getting done years ago, but, but they, they wrote songs getting stuff done. Isn't that a song?

You know? I think now, think about all the bad songs. A lot more bad songs get written. Like, a lot more just nonsense can put out. Like, in songs now, the words, aren't words being taken out of songs? Like, it's just like a chorus and then they just yell, blah, blah, blah, the whole time. This is your example? Yeah. Oh, man.

Think about, you think he's going to go, the Bomber guy played Downtown, which is like basically he's just talking because it's all lyrics. Yeah. He can't play something now that's just eight words. The song has eight words and then just sounds. They call it gibberish. Work, work, work, work, work. That would have been weird to play. Work, work, work. Yeah, just saying that over again, you'd be confused by the messaging. You'd hear it so much.

It's all like gibberish rap. They talk about gibberish rap, how it's just... I've never heard of that. Mumble rap? Mumble rap. Oh, okay. How Hannibal did gibberish rap, I think. All right. But mumble rap or something. Yeah. No one could have asked for that. But that's almost like you said, you're not into the words for music, right? So it's just, if you're just making noises, that's good enough, right? This is some of the best music I've ever heard in my life right now. I think we finally got... Since this podcast launched. Look, I think...

I think we had too many words. He wrote a song. I wrote a song. Are we going to get to hear that? Yeah. Walker Hayes. Me and Walker Hayes wrote a song. About before the podcast? You know, after I talked. But no, he heard it on the podcast that I said I wanted to write a song. Yeah. And then me and him got together and we wrote a song. Have you recorded anything? Yeah. Yeah. I have the song. When are you playing it? I don't know. Now, I'm going to tell him now. Can you tell us anything about it? No, it's not...

It's a country song. It's not funny or anything. It's trying to be a serious song. What's it about? Just a relationship. I don't know. It's talking about...

Boy and girl, husband, wife, anything like that. Love song. Love song. All right. Love song. Yeah. I had trouble when they said, what's the genre? I was like, you know, like husband, wife. So romantic. I go, oh, yeah. That's the word. See, that's the good thing that he talks about me using well good. I don't use the word that moves everything along. I make you have to think about it. That's why you do it? That's why I do it.

And it was a good experience. It was a well experience. Farming technologies improve so much that we can now provide more food with less farmland. Farmers today can produce... I think everything... There's one guy listening to this that hates everything that we've mentioned. He thinks all of it's the problem. Yeah. You know, people have written books about it and they all get pushback. A guy did a TED Talk. People don't like it. He's a...

Hearing that the world's good. Yeah, they don't like it. Especially if it's coming from a wealthy white man. Because they think you're saying everything's fine. That's why, obviously, guys. What if everybody just gets behind this and they just show him reading all this and they're like, all right, man, I believe it now. I believe it.

He would have hair. You know, that was always LeBron. Like if someone is so rich, like that's what you think that with Tiger Woods, you know, people that get hair. LeBron's got his hairline. LeBron James. I'm going to say his own LeBron James. But his hairline is now farther than it was. But Tiger Woods still, still bald. Tiger. He gets to wear a hat though. He is. I know, but you still just think Tiger Woods has a billion dollars.

He can get it done. But it makes me almost like with Tiger, Tiger's just kind of a nerdy. He's cool because of him and his image and all this stuff. But Tiger's kind of just like a nerdy dude that's kind of his own. I don't think Tiger thinks that he would ever think to get hair. He'd be like, I don't care. I think he's also, if you're playing golf, you're with older men. Yeah.

Right. You're playing LeBron's play with a bunch of 18 year olds. That's the world you're in. You don't think being in a world of young people with. No, I think he wears a hat. LeBron doesn't wear a hat would be more. I don't think he's going. Well, I made that point earlier and you dismissed it. So I'm trying to come up with another good point. That was a good point. I didn't, I didn't, I'm sorry. I didn't. Yes. Good job. Uh, well,

That's all I ever wanted, dude. That's all I ever needed. All right. Disregard the other point. I'm going to double down on the hat thing. Tucker plays more bald people, so he probably wants to be bald, right? Like he feels out of place. Is that the? I was just saying maybe there's less pressure. Well, definitely because he can always wear a hat. But, I mean, the thing is they have to take their hat off when they shake hands. Yeah.

And that's, you know. Wasn't there a hair company that wanted to sponsor a podcast and wanted me to do a trial? Yeah, they might still be in play. I don't know. No, I don't know. Yeah, didn't you want, yeah. Were you going to do it? I didn't want to. Would you do it? Hey, if you want me to do it for the podcast, but my wife didn't want me to. Do you want more hair? At this point, no. You don't care? Your wife doesn't want you to. It had like a list of side effects. Oh, really? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Better looking. Is that the side effect? More money. You lift weights heavier. You're like, I don't know. What's the problem? I'd like to see some of these side effects. You would do it and you would only get the side effects. Yeah.

Like, it would be so much. He would just be all side effects that it's like you'd be reading, well, here's the good things that it is. It's just like those are possibilities. Like, you can get more air and you're like, that's, you know, we would talk about the actual effects as side effects and the side effects would be like, you really need to focus on those side effects, dude. Like, it's going to be...

A serious thing. I just envisioned that Seinfeld where George ordered that stuff from China and Kramer was putting it in their video in it. That'd be you doing it to me. Yeah. I got a bud. You want one more? Yeah. What are we at? We're about an hour 50 right now. All right. Education.

Education is way up around the world. How many more of these do you have that is positive? Like, is there a few more? You had a lot more? There's more democracies in the world than ever before. Yeah. As today, about half of the human population is living in a democracy. Yeah, that's good. Let's see. Maybe it's not good. No, it's good. Violent crime is... I'm trying to think of the other guy that goes, yeah. Is it good? Violent crime has dropped dramatically. I think I already covered that. Yeah. Risen during COVID, but...

In the United States, it's up this year, especially in cities. Overall. Overall. It's way down since 1990. Yeah. Like by 75% or something. Wow. Yeah. I think it's because they can't pump your sneakers anymore with the tongue. Everybody was stealing those sneakers. And now...

I don't know. I used to have those sneakers in the 90s. I thought 90s, and I'm like, what did I have in the 90s? And I thought that, you remember the shoe that you would pump it and it'd fill air in your... Can you imagine presenting that theory in front of Congress or something? Hey, this is just a proposal. Look, I think I'd have a heel decline, but that's how it started. But this is why I'm here. You guys remember those shoes that you...

And they go, no, just show a picture. I go, I didn't bring anything. Remember those shoes? You can bring anything, any picture. They go, we're looking up on our phone. No, I don't want to connect my phone to Bluetooth. I'll just describe them. And he's like, I know, could someone else look it up? He goes, I really have the description in my head, and you guys are not giving me the chance to describe it.

You want more? I can just do some quick broad strokes of just positive, you know. All right. That's a lot of stuff. We didn't get into anything. Yeah, I taught this research. We talked about turtle lifespan for about 30 minutes. Yeah.

I'm just sitting here like, man, I spent my whole week Christmas morning. I'm just looking up. I don't think animals' lifespans have gone up. I think they've stayed consistently the same. Generally speaking. Honestly. Our gotten worse. We're doing great. We're doing great. But in the violence category. We have zoos where we laugh at them.

Look how good we're doing now. We used to be scared of lions, and now we throw paper cups at them. Oh, the tide has turned. That's what I say to... All right.

So I'll do the last one here. Education, enrollment, all education levels way up around the world. It was 74% just making it through primary school in 1970. I didn't know what that would be. I didn't either. No, it's like elementary. Yeah. I had to look that up. See, I knew that. All across all levels this went up. A half a century ago, the majority of the world's people were illiterate.

Now, almost 90% of adults can read. So, we're getting there, buddy. We're getting there. 33% of this room has trouble with it. Is that right? 33%? Yep. 33.33 repeat. Well, you guys get et cetera. 33 et cetera percent. Yeah.

Can't you say et cetera? You don't think et cetera works right there? I'm trying to figure out what you mean. For numbers? Yeah, for numbers. Et cetera, et cetera. What is it, 33.33 et cetera? Well, because the three just keep going, right?

They do. They do keep going. That's true. I've never thought of it that way. You just put a little line on top, and it means repeating. I've never seen that line. I don't think people are using that. I don't think people are using that. You know what I'm talking about. Pi is 3.14, etc., etc., etc. Well, there's numbers.

That's a good way to remember it. That's what you should tell a teacher. Et cetera, et cetera. He goes, I know, but let's get into it a little bit. Do we need to? You know they keep going. All right. All right. Well...

It's a great time to be alive. Yeah, it's the best time ever to be alive, unless you're a turtle, is what we figured out, or a pocket gopher. Those guys are having some pretty rough times. So just donate some money, guys, to the pocket gophers, to the Jeff Leoff mouses. If you see a house mouse...

Don't give them money. Those guys are doing a lot better than they're letting on. Look up, find a specific mouse that is struggling and then donate money to him and your pocket gophers. All right. Yeah. 2020. It's been a fun year. Look, we still, we, we got this podcast. Another thing, being able to talk to all you guys too, has been better for us. I mean, truly all the comments we get, we,

We go through them. They're very, very funny. How funny they are is truly... All the folks that listen to this, I can't tell you enough.

when you see comments and comments on YouTube and all that stuff, they're always so negative and usually awful. And the fact that you guys write these that are very funny, that we read them. We know a lot of people love hearing these even more than the episode. But that's enormous, man. That's a pretty crazy thing to experience. But that's what I love seeing. And that means that we have the best people ever that listen to this. And we're all the same. We're all just sitting here listening to this podcast.

dumb nonsense. So look, I hope 2021 just...

Just continues to get better for you. And we will talk to you. Wait, 2021 will be the next podcast. It will. You got a special coming out in 2021? 21, I have a special coming out. He's getting married? You're getting married? Yeah. Maybe. We'll see. We'll see. We got a poll on that. If you guys want to vote if Aaron can do it or not, or if Lucy figures it out and finds someone better. Yeah.

And then you have a show. We have showed you off shows or anything. I'm headlining Zany's January 13th, January 13th. Aaron Weber and friends come out. Yeah. It'd be great. I'm hoping it's wide open. Yep. 2021. I am wide open. Yeah. 2021. If anybody wants to book Brian, AKA baby killer. All right. This is thank you guys again. Always. We love you. And we will see you next year.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.