#25 Travel
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I'm sending my brother money directly to his bank account in India because he's apparently too busy practicing his karaoke to go pick up cash. Thankfully, I can still send money his way. Yes, I know I'm sending to your bank account. Western Union, send it their way. Send money in-store directly to their bank account in India.

Services offered by Western Union Financial Services, Inc., NMLS number 906983, or Western Union International Services, LLC, NMLS number 906985, licensed as money transmitters by the New York State Department of Financial Services. See terms for details. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I am Nate, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. All right. Welcome, everybody. We have a big, you know, big week this week. Today, actually, just now, just now, Vanderbilt has a new head coach.

And Clark Lee of Notre Dame. If anybody cares. I care. I care. You should be excited. I mean, I think that might be best case scenario higher for you guys, I feel like. He's local from here. Right. And then, which is exciting, played at Vandy. How old is he? 38. Oh, so is this the first coach younger than you? This is the first coach younger than me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm right at the good coaching age. I mean, this is where...

coaches are the new wave they're 38 year olds wouldn't have been hired as coaches a little bit but now that's a new kind of thing sean mcveigh at the rams well i got really annoyed the last notre dame game tony dungy wouldn't shut up about how how much all the players love clark lee and everything oh yeah i was like yeah could you stop talking about how awesome he is yeah because he's gonna go yeah right he's gonna go he's gone i'm very excited about it

It's who I wanted from the beginning. There's a few other guys you get very excited. Coaching searches are fun. But we are celebrating West End. Celebrating at Vandy. Clark Lee. Got a new chancellor. Big things are coming down the Vandy pipe. That's a very Vandy name. Clark Lee. Clark Lee.

We mean business. Law firm of Clark Lee. So that's all we got for today. And Sarah Fuller made two extra points. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. We scored for her this time. That's pretty, you know. It's accomplishment. It's accomplishment. We got in the end zone. She kicked some extra points. Not a big deal. She did great. Congrats to her.

All right, let's start off with the comments. As usual, YouTube, Instagram, Apple Podcast Reviews, and NateLan and NateBurghEtsy.com. Which you said with emails, you do get emails. Yeah, we do. We get a ton. We're getting a lot of comments. A lot. Twitter. I left Twitter off, but Twitter also. Twitter as well. We try to get to what we can.

We get a ton now, which that's to you guys, you guys listening or that's unbelievable, man, how much you guys listen. So it's very fun. I mean, you guys, you know, you got to be good. You got to get

You know, to stand out. And some of the emails, though, were pretty long. Yeah, that's the thing. With comments, people, they'll know to kind of keep it tight. But with emails, people go crazy. And I'm like, do you really think Nate's going to read five pages of this? Yeah, I guess. Maybe that's the goal. Maybe that's what they want.

Maybe we start doing that. We just do one big, you know, like, what if you could be so good of a long email? That would be the impressive. If someone does such a good long email that we're like, we have to read this. And it's the only one we have time to read. Yeah. But this guy knocked it out of the park or girl, uh, Travis Barkley. Every week I feel like I'm asking myself at the start, how is this topic going to be funny?

Then Nate gets confused by bacon bits, harrowing versus heroin experience. And I can't stop laughing. I'm so glad you guys are putting out something so silly and fun. I feel like it's the antidote to the rest of the internet. Thank you, Travis. That's true. That's what we are. Yep. We're the medicine. Is that an antidote? Antidote's the vaccine. No, that's what makes you not die. Like you get poisoned. Right. And there you go. We have an antidote. Right. Right. So, yeah.

Turler. That's the guy's name. T-U-R-R-L-E-R. Turler. Think that's his real name? I don't know. I don't. You don't? How do you not think that that guy's... I know we have a history of colorful names on the podcast, but Turler...

The Turler family? I bet its name is... The Ler family? The Ler family? I think his name is Tyler, and he's being funny. Turler. Ooh, Tyler. Tyler Ler. That's what I think. All right, you're going with Tyler. I go with his name is actually Turler, and he has to live with it. This podcast is officially too dumb for me. Goodbye, folks.

I had a good run. I guess we'll never know. I guess we'll never know. He's never even going to hear his comment being read. Yeah. Turler, he's out. Too dumb. What does he want it to be? I don't know, right? Yeah, go get the TED Talks podcast. Yeah, I mean, there's other podcasts. That would be like if you're watching the Titans play and you go, it's just too much football.

Why do you not watch the Titans? It's a lot of football. Why don't they throw in some other stuff? You're like, you know what? They should. They should throw in other stuff. I was talking to Brian. We had a clip on your Facebook go kind of viral from the second episode of the podcast about talking millions, billions, trillions of dollars. It has like 2 million views, and a lot of them have no idea what the podcast is. Most of the comments are just like, these guys are morons. Yeah.

They think it's like a math podcast. Well, I mean, Turler knows what the podcast is and he thinks we're morons. Turler made it 23 episodes before he's like... He gave us a fair shot. Yeah, he goes, this is... I always love the idea of someone... It's like they're resigning. Like leaving a comment. He didn't give us a two-week notice. I'm out. He just goes... Like, it's so funny to think like...

You think he's at home and he's talking to his wife, his roommate, and he just goes, I can't listen to this podcast anymore. And they're like, oh, it's cool. So you go stop listening to it. I'll probably let them know. And then I'm going to stop listening to it like that.

What are you going to do for that? You're going to just unsubscribe? I'm probably going to somehow let these guys know that I don't think they're good, and then I'm going to back out. You know what I mean? But I think they should know that the Lur is out. The Lur family. Parting shot. The Lur family is out. Out. What if it's not even a guy? That one video did go viral. It has 2 million views on Facebook. God. Yeah.

I know, I'm Facebook. I am on, but I haven't looked at it in a while. The Brad Pitt clip has like a million views too. Really? Talking about Brad Pitt riding his lawnmower. Yeah, the comments are funny because if it goes viral like that, it gets to people that don't know what the podcast is. And it's just so funny reading the comments. Yeah. Dylan Paschal. Dylan? No, Dylan. God. D-Y-L-A-N. I'd go Dylan for sure. Yeah, it's always Dylan, isn't it?

I hope it's Dylan and he goes, finally, someone did it right. I think he's saying no one has ever mispronounced my name in my life. Everybody goes Dylan. How would you spell another Dylan? D-I-L-L-A. Yeah. But D-Y-L-A is pretty common. Oh, yeah, right.

Dylan Paschal. My wife and I got married this past Saturday. I was looking forward to listening to the episode while laying on the beach during my honeymoon. However, I tested positive for COVID the day before the wedding, so we had a small quick ceremony the day before our original date with whoever was already exposed to me. So instead of going to an island for our honeymoon, we have been quarantined at home.

This episode has been one of the most exciting things to happen on our honeymoon. Thanks, guys. Congratulations. Dylan, the Paschal family. We lose one, we get another one back. That's very funny. Yeah. I mean, that does stink, man. Tastes positive for COVID. And then you're like, you got to do any of these big plans. Yeah.

And then, you know, but you know what? Maybe you guys will be immune going forward. I love the fact that they were already planning on listening to us on their honeymoon. And they didn't bail on us. Yeah. The location's the only thing that changed. Yeah. We appreciate it. Congrats, you guys. Look who's back. Sore Sigorb. Sore. Sore Sigorb. The podcast just isn't as funny as it used to be.

He has a great sense of humor. Sore is back, baby. He reached out to you, Brian. Yeah, he reached out and said he's from Spain. Yeah. He said it's not sore. Sore? I think it's sore. I said sore. Just then you did. Last week I said I bet it's sore lady. You said it was sore sigour, but it was a lovely lady, though. Well, we still don't know. Keep going, Brian. He's transitioning. Yeah.

Sigorb, we nailed it. Sigorb's right. Sigorb, right. Yeah. What a funny... Oh, he loved it. That's a very funny comment. Yeah. That is very funny. Yeah. I mean, Sora gets it, dude. Yeah. Sora, keep your calendar open in case one of these guys fall out. I'll be flying you up from Spain, you know? Maybe I'll get some dead weight over here and you'll get some liveliness. Might hire Turo Lurge too, just to make a point. There's Miriam Gregory.

Aaron, I can't believe you made fun of my name after I stood up for you about the Disney logo. Also, my performance on TV was so local that even my own family could not see it. Sounds like you guys could. 4.5. Channel 4.5. Yeah. Miriam Gregory. I watched clips of her. She commented on YouTube. She has a YouTube channel. She's a very good singer. Oh, yeah? That's great. Oh, that's good.

Ryan goes a little too deep. Yeah, I kind of wish I kept that to myself. As I was saying it, I was like, oh boy, that might have been a mistake. Miriam was like, oh, okay. She does not have to... Oh boy. She said, if I could pick one person to watch my YouTube clip, it was definitely not him at that table. I just got blogged by Miriam.

We're going to get another one by her next week. I just moved in with tour alert and he makes a lot of sense. They'd move in together. Oh my God. Matthew Harrison. My clutch performance was when I took a girl on a first date to a park while we were hanging out and hitting golf balls on one of the soccer fields. I turned to the girl and said, you see that tree sticking up in that tree line out there, roughly 150 yards away. Well,

Hard nine iron, light eight iron. If I hit that tree with this golf ball, then you have to give me a kiss. I then stood over the ball and thought to myself, just don't duff this ball. I hit the ball, and to both my surprise and hers, I hit the tree and got my reward. That girl on that date is now my wife. Married her. Wow. Something like that. Girl saw that. She goes, you only have something like that go. Yeah.

Guy's going to stick an 8-iron on a tree 150 yards out. Our first date, we're hitting golf balls in the soccer field. He's not even in the appropriate grass to be doing this. What if that's why she married? She goes, you don't see stuff like that all the time. Elliot Carey, a clutch performance not mentioned. I was active duty United States Navy security forces at the National Naval Medical Center in 2011.

That was like I was in a sprint and got tired at the end when I read that sentence. Yeah. I came out the gate. I was active during the United States Navy security. Then it was like forces at the National Naval Medical Center. It was like, I mean, I stumbled across the finish line. I was conducting my foot patrol through the hospital. This is the place where all of our wounded warriors come to a treatment following in any injuries overseas.

All the TV switched over to President Obama making the announcement that we had killed bin Laden. It went from quiet to everyone, soldiers, sailors, Marines, nurses, and doctors in the world clapping, high-fiving, and chanting. Never felt camaraderie like that since. Love the podcast. Listen every week. Respect. Respect you do, Elliot. That's, yeah. That's got to be, I mean, that's a moment to be there when that happened. You remember where you were when you found out about that? I was over there.

He was a baby seal. I had my only tweet that went viral that went kind of crazy. Twitter was kind of new and probably bad, probably can't say it now, but right when he, uh, been lying, got killed, I said, my cab driver is furious right now or something like that. Yeah.

And I tell you what, the time it happened, people loved it. People loved it. I'm not saying it would do great today. Different time. Different time. But in the moment, dude, it was the first thing that kind of went so crazy. I was calling Soder. I was like, dude, I go, it gets at like 10,000, 20,000. It just kept getting. Donald Glover retweeted it. It was a whole, I mean, everybody retweeted it.

So, but now, now I would say Uber driver. There's Jeff Rasmussen. Rasmussen. That feels like you're trying to catch something at the end of it. Jeff Rasmussen. Isn't that a pole or something? Yep. Okay, the Rasmussen pole. It's like Gallup. Oh, really? That's where I've heard that word before. He comes for money.

I don't know if he's from the Rasmussen pole family. So he's probably just the other Rasmussen family. The not successful. Maybe. I think he's at the successful. Why do you think he ain't made it, dude? I think this dude is crushing. All right, let's see what he has to say. Aaron's stupid. Oh, wow. Uh, Whitney Houston wasn't a clutch performance. It was pre-recorded. It's coming from a pretty decent source in the Rasmussen pole. Yeah. He took a poll. Um,

Yeah, when I first heard that, I was upset by it. Oh, so she lip-synced it. But I think it actually makes it more of a clutch performance that she has to lip-sync. Can you imagine if she messes up the lip-sync? People would be more mad about that than if she just performed badly.

Has that ever happened? Because most of them are pre-recorded. Has anyone ever coughed and they're still singing? They don't move their mouth like a ventriloquist? Right. Well, that's tough to do. She's doing all kinds of runs and stuff. It would be more clutch if she sang outright. But are we sure that she pre-recorded? Yeah, it's pre-recorded. We're looking at her Wikipedia page.

However, despite it being considered one of the greatest live performances by Houston, she actually didn't perform it live, but lip-sync to a pre-recorded version of the anthem. I mean, they're probably doing it because it's like, there's just too many variables. Right. That you're like, we don't want to get hung up, you know, and the mic goes out, or like...

You probably can't even hear yourself. We pre-record this. We're lip-syncing this entire episode. Emily Miller. Hey, guys. Y'all asked about having an early experience with someone who later became really famous. When I was in high school, our assistant cross-country coach had the girls' teams over to her apartment for a sleepover. We lived in Metro Atlanta, and she was in her early 20s. While we were there, a friend of hers who lived in the apartment complex came over and brought his guitar and played some songs for us.

We found out later that he was John Mayer, and he maybe had a thing for the coach, and that's why he came over. In retrospect, it is definitely weird that a 20-something guy would come over to a high school girl's sleepover, but it happened. It took a few years and confirmations from a couple other classmates for my husband to believe it. I didn't make this whole thing up. Keep up the great work. My husband and I love it. Emily Miller, that is. That's John Mayer. That's wild. He figured it out.

what's going on over there uh high school girls she's in her early 20s it's like i had nothing just a bunch of high school cross-country girls i'll swing by you know oh yeah i don't know i'm probably you know what i'll probably i don't know i'll just maybe i'll bring the guitar yeah you may bring the guitar i play guitar you may bring it he's so good

Should have come to you. I don't think. Maybe you would have the same story to go. I wasn't on my high school cross-country team, believe it or not. But I would have loved for a private concert from John Mayer. From John Mayer. The most talented musician of my generation, of my lifetime. Derek Trucks. Derek Trucks is the best blues guitarist for sure. You ever see B.B. King, Derek Trucks, and John Mayer all playing together? There's a whole backstory behind that. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I don't think John Mayer was supposed to come out. Oh, really? Yeah.

What did you say about John Mayer? He's the best musician in your lifetime? I think so. Wow. Derek Trucks is a child prodigy. Derek Trucks is unreal. I love him. 13 and Dahlman Brothers. Yeah. Yeah, pretty crazy. He's my good buddy, Derek Trucks. So maybe I have a pretty good source. John Mayer's my good buddy. Yeah. I've met John Mayer. He did comedy, too. He did stand-up comedy. Why not? Do everything.

Cap Black 85. Cap Black 85. Guys, love the podcast. Today's mention of Nextel made me remember a story about my late brother. We all had Nextel phones when we were younger, and me and my mom worked at our church. My brother would wait until she was at the church, and then in a deep and raspy voice, come over her walkie-talkie saying, Hello, Debra. This is Satan.

And they would do a menacing laugh. He did this often, and it was always funny to see her scramble to turn the phone off anyway. Thanks for the reminder. That's pretty funny. Just to be doing it. At church. At church.

And his mom, and she's probably just, you know, well, my boys are just so sweet. Is he from the South? I don't know if he's from the South. I make him from the South. My boys are so sweet. They're just good boys. Hello, Deborah. This is Satan. He's like, I'm going to kill him. Johnny Wiener or Wiener. Depends on, I'm sure he was called both. A year after the Joplin tornado. Tornado.

Sorry, Joplin Tornado. They held the NCAA D2 Cross Country National Championship. You listening there? My buddy had a terrible race and got third to last, which is not ideal. At the awards banquet later that night, they were about to show a video presentation. My buddy assumed it was a highlight video of the race from that morning, so in frustration, he proceeded to loudly declare in a very annoying way, we know we were there.

Immediately following his remarks, tragic music and leveled homes appeared on the screen, to which was the beginning of a tribute video for the first responders of the huge tornado disaster from the year prior.

The awkwardness of that will never be forgotten by many. So funny. Oh, I love that one, man. That's you want to get up my alley. That's how you get up my alley right there. That that is. I mean, I there's nothing I love more than that. We know we were there. And then just just lights go down. Yeah. First responders. That's great. Oh, that's so funny.

Kyle Cox, Clutch Performance.

At an ex-husband's party, I asked every neighbor how many donuts they could eat if they had to. I proceeded to be very judgmental about all their answers. Needless to say, I never got invited back to any neighborhood functions. For the record, I put down 15 donuts and stopped just because I was doing it by myself with no competition and no one really even questioning me on how many I could eat. I know what Kyle calls. There's a musician. Oh, that's him.

But that's super funny. Yeah. I mean, just to be... In a corner eating by yourself. Stop 15 and stop just because I was doing it by myself with no competition and no one really even questioning me on how many. That's what I... I love that line. No one really even questioning me on how many I could eat. That's my favorite line. That's a great line. Yeah. Because that is the... To think of that...

That's what everybody, you're like, you're eating this. You're like, no one even is asking. Like no one's going, hey, how's it going over there? Yeah. And you're just like, yeah, no one cares. But he still got to 15. To be 15 donuts in reaching for your 16th and then thinking, you know what? Nobody even knows I'm doing this. That would almost be a good, we should, like people should go and just be like, go to a party. Yeah. Bring a ridiculous amount of donuts and then see how many you can eat before someone says, hey, how many donuts have you had?

Just quietly try to eat as many as you can. For Christmas. You feeling all right? Yeah, for Christmas, if you have your family over, I guess if you're Zooming.

if you're willing to do this you probably already had COVID so I wouldn't even worry about it but I mean it'd be pretty funny just to be quietly just I mean just to get in your car even your wife doesn't even know your husband and you just tell your spouse you're like I ate 25 donuts during that party and they're like what when and you're like I've been doing it the whole time like it's just I mean just to throw that on them just to like

Well, it was like one of their first dates, and she's so proud that he went out on his own, wasn't clinging on to her at the party. And then he tells her that in the car. That's what he was doing. And maybe marry her. Yeah, you kind of abandoned me at the party. It's like, well, I had stuff to do. Yeah, I don't know. Did I? Because I ate 12. You know what? I'm going to need you tonight because. All right. We had, you know, last week's episode did really good.

The weather episode, people thought, very funny. Said it was our funniest one. Yeah. You know? Except Turler. Except Turler. We thought it was too... For Turler, it was the final straw. He goes, oh, God, what are you talking about this week? Weather? You know, you do want to go, what do you want to talk about? Yeah. That's what I don't understand. There's so much stuff out there. There's so much. You know what I've been watching? Ted Lasso.

Ted Lasso is unbelievable, dude. I watched it last night. I can't wait to watch it again tonight. It's just positive. Yeah. And it's so wonderful. And it makes you so excited just to see some positivity. And it's about whatever, man. Who cares? I mean, he's a coach.

I actually know Jason Sudeikis, and he's that guy. He's kind of a Ted Lasso guy. He's a very positive guy. Awesome dude. And that's what I mean. That's where you're like, it'd be like watching Ted Lasso being like, it's just, you know, who cares? You're like, yeah, dude, then go watch House of Cards. Go watch 50 other shows that are depressing.

I mean, like, it's just a breath of fresh air to have something that's not that. Not that I'm harping on Turler. But I'm going to tell you, you know. But it's, I'm glad. You know what? We don't need you, Tur. Yeah.

Better without you. But I, but Ted last, so if anybody hasn't seen it, Apple TV, it's a, it's, I mean, it's an awesome, awesome show. I mean, I've watched three episodes and I'm going to watch it tonight. I can't wait to just kind of do two a night. I just enjoy it so much. Uh,

Such a great episode. But last week, I thought it was great with the weather episode. Yeah, it was fun. It was very funny. We're getting in the groove, man. I think so. We're getting in the groove. What is this, 23, 24 episodes or something like that? 24. 24? That's a lot. That's a lot. I never thought we'd make it this far. I had the under, and the under was five. And look at us. Look at us now. We've made it. This week...

We're going to, you know, because we've got the holidays coming up, Christmas coming up, New Year's. Travel's interesting. We're going to talk about travel. We're going to talk about, you know, what are you going to do? Are you guys traveling for Christmas? I'm not just because my family's all here. Yeah. You're going to Lebanon. Well, yeah, we'll be traveling down there. To Lebanon. Yeah. You go, where you go? Alabama? Are you allowed to say now?

You know what I mean? I'm going to visit family. I haven't seen my family in a while. COVID's a serious thing, Aaron, and I wish you'd take it serious. Come on, Aaron. Golly, Aaron. Can I believe you're doing that? You're unbelievable. I was joking when I said I was going to Lebanon. I'm staying in. No way he's going. Everybody's staying here, dude. Yeah, I'm staying at home. Yeah. Just...

It's a puffy coat. It's puffy. It is a puffy coat. Big coat. Is that what he says? I was in Springfield, Missouri this weekend. Went to the original Bass Pro Shops. Oh, really? The first one? The first one. It's huge. You can spend the whole day there. There's like museums in there and all kinds of stuff. Is it as big as the Memphis one?

You know, the Memphis is the ones in the pyramid. It's in the pyramid. Yeah, I think it's bigger than that. It was the first one, and it's this whole sort of complex that you enter. Like Opry Mills is big? Yeah. Like as big as the entire mall. It's like as big as Opry Mills. Yeah, it is overwhelmingly large. Wow. That's crazy. There's an aquarium, too, that you have to buy a special ticket to. I didn't get that. So there's all kinds of stuff. Why didn't you get the aquarium ticket? Nah, it's like extra money, you know?

Had to spend it on this jacket. If you would have chose the other jacket, you could either go this jacket and Aquarium or just this jacket. This was the cheapest jacket. I think it's irresponsible you're doing shows. Come on, dude. Has COVID affected your life at all as far as you going out? It has. It doesn't sound like it, Aaron. It sounds like you are... I don't even know. Have you heard that people should wear masks? Yeah, I wear a mask.

Everybody at Bass Pro Shops wearing a mask. Yeah, they do. NASCAR race. Everybody's wearing a mask. Right. I feel like when you see the mask, you see one guy. There might be one guy walks around with no mask. Yeah. And you're like, all right. But there's always one guy. Everybody else, when we went to Target this weekend, everybody had masks on. I think we're doing something. I don't know. We're doing something.

Some of these are coming here or whatever. We won't travel far. Everybody's close by. You'd like to drive down to Alabama? Is your family still there? We're going to go. My sister's in Dallas. We're going to head down there. You drive? I don't think we're going to fly. Flying is safe. Right. More stuff. What are you going to do? Take a boat?

I was taking a cruise. What are you guys doing? That'd be the holidays. I got on a carnival cruise. It's like where it started. I was on a cruise ship. But yeah, that's great, man. I would love everything you say. We're going to go visit my grandmother nursing home. My dad doesn't believe in masks. And you're like, that's cool, man. That's cool. How's she doing? She's on. She doesn't breathe good and stuff like that. She's the best.

She's in the market for COVID, actually. She wanted me to come eat with her, but I can't taste anything right now. I said, sure, I'll go eat at your dumb cafeteria. I can't taste anyway. What does it matter? I can't smell, taste. Are you there? No fever, though. I feel like the taste and smell thing is the thing. I've known now a couple people that have had it. And taste and smell is the...

that's your that's your ticket right the best indicator telltale sign yeah yeah i feel like you either don't feel anything or you lose your taste and smell which is it's at least nice that there's something because you got we're so scared that it's just you sneeze and you're like it's it's happening all right trying to give turdler some topical stuff he's like all right i'm listening this guy's talking about what's going on currently in the world right

So traveling is a big deal. It's a big deal during the holidays. What is it the most? Do you know like the most? Most traveled? Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Why is Thanksgiving? I guess Santa. Yes. Santa Claus travels. So Santa's got to come to your home. So that's, you know. Yeah, people with kids, they want to stay home and do that. But Thanksgiving's more of a go see the... It's also a secular holiday. So everybody...

all-american celebrated i feel like yeah it's a big word man but uh i thought you were gonna argue that's why thanksgiving's more travel that's what i'm saying yeah that's why thanksgiving is more travel say that word just at your dinner table with your family secular yeah i mean it depends on the conversation would that be the conversation comes up maybe then you go it's my favorite secular holiday and your family would just you come from a smart family though right

So you guys probably use... I guess I remember using that because my parents would make us go to mass on Thanksgiving sometimes. And I remember being like, come on, this is a secular holiday. You would say that in an argument to your parents. Oh, yeah. Come on, this is a secular holiday. What are we doing here? Yeah. Church and state. Come on. I mean, wow, dude. Wow. Did you have a lab coat on? Did... I mean, that's... Did you use it in... I mean, I don't... You know...

Yeah. We just, my family, we just clap at each other. We make noises. Like monkeys. Yeah. We're just, you know. They throw things, call each other idiots. Yeah. We're the idiot family, and we just, you know, just stomp on the ground when you want something. You know, it's like how horses talk to each other. That's how, that's a we. Yeah.

That's what goes on in our family. You just walk in, you just hear noises. You listen to the whale sounds. You're like, no, my mom's cooking some. We're not using secular, I can tell you that right now. If I threw that around my family, we'd all be like, oh, all right. Whoa, someone's taking some online classes somewhere, aren't we? Oh, wow. Must be nice.

Must be nice. We had a lot of arguments at the dinner table, man. We could argue. Over what? I don't know. Stuff like that. I mean, not even at each other. My dad would just love to debate us about stuff. Yeah, it's like a smart family. I mean, y'all, I think that's what...

Yeah, it's probably good. It's good for you all to debate. You got to Notre Dame. I mean, you've failed them now, but up to Notre Dame, I mean, he's like, it worked. You know what I mean? Everything going up has worked. He did his part, for sure. Yeah, and then you come home with that brass pro shop coat, and he's like, God, what's the point of any of this? You've been using the word secular since you were five years old, and you're going to walk in my house with a big red coat on?

You didn't just go see the aquarium and learn something? You almost spent all my money on my coat. That's what I think is going to be the new Weber family. This Christmas. So the whole family is going to Dallas? No, just me. Just me and my fiance. By yourself? Yeah. But you do have family in Dallas? My sister lives in Dallas. She said at the beginning. Alright, we're back.

But who's going to your parents' school in Dallas? I mean, we're not even... Look, I'm about to be with Turler and get out. I'm like, you know what, dude? He's right on. He's made some points. He's made some good points. What's your first travel? Well, if you stay at a hotel...

The most expensive hotel in the world. Anybody want to guess how much it is a night? I mean, it's going to be something like... Where? Shanghai? That's my guess of where it is. Is it Mandarin? Mandarin? No. So it's going to be something like... It's something ridiculous. Yeah. Like $100,000 a night. Can we guess where it is? Yeah, you'll never get it. What continent is it?

I'm already out. It's taking you a while, man. Yeah. He doesn't know. I don't know. Wow. This is News Channel 5 over here. This is what we watched for. Is it in Bangkok? No. You would be better to ask what ocean is it in. Oh, okay. It's a submarine. It's a submarine. Okay.

At $150,000 a night, it's the costliest hotel in the world. Located in the ocean at considerable depth, you get underwater view of the entire marine world. Staffed by an onboard crew of three, the captain, the chef, and the personal butler. You have soundproof living accommodations underwater. You can tell the captain to take the boat wherever, or the submarine wherever you want to go. It's a sunken, I said submarine, it's a sunken battleship.

What? Wait, so it's not a submarine? I guess it is a submarine. But it's a sunken battleship? We don't know anything about it. Yeah. I don't think this is real. It's off the coast of St. Lucia, or you can see a sunken battleship. Is this like an ad you clicked? Like, is this how you got this? Like, I don't know if it's real at all. I don't think this is real.

Now, it's called Glover's Deep Luxury Submarine. It is a submarine. All right. And it can go anywhere. Yeah. And you just float around. You just go in the ocean. You live in a submarine. Yep. I have claustrophobia. It wouldn't do good. I'd ask to go to the top. It's so funny. You're like, wait, it's not a submarine? Yeah. Oh, no, it is. Oh, boy. It's a second battleship, and it's flooded with water. All right, my mistake.

Yeah, that sounds terrible, man. The submarine? I think if it's up your alley, you know, you feel you're down there alone. Yeah. And then you just... You're not alone, though. You're with a crew of three people. Yeah, but I'm sure they're far enough away. Yeah. And then you go, hey, can we go... I don't know, where are you going to go? Can we go, like, 200 yards?

I mean, how do you even ask to go to like, how do you, he goes, where do you guys want to go? You're like, I don't know. Just go down, just go down a little bit more. And I mean, what are you going to, you know, where are we at? We're at a hundred feet.

Let's do 150 feet. You know what I mean? Let's see what's going on down there. And he goes, all right, let's do 150 feet. And then you do that. And then he's like, all right. And you go, okay. Is there a window? He's like, no, it's a submarine. He's like, I don't even think you're actually doing anything. He just goes, all right. There's no windows. He goes, go 1,000 feet down. He goes, I'll do whatever you want. There's no windows. How do you know? And you just sit there. It's like one of those –

small simulators simulators that you ride and you go we went down to 2 000 feet did yours pop they didn't actually i think that has something to do with the submarine you're like oh i bet it does sealed bet it 150 000 a night never left the back of the truck it's not even in the water it's just by the way just bumping over stuff what was that then we hit a whale

you're just making noises outside just people walk by and bang on it what is oh my loser was that a word he goes i think some of mermaids are real yeah i think they're i think they're i'm hearing them dude it's 150,000 a night and mermaids are real and they're mean they're heckling me yeah that's great

I thought it would be like on top of the Disney castle. Yeah. Like that's, there's something up there. Um, the most expensive hotel in the U S is in Las Vegas. It's the empathy suite at the Palm casino resort. Yeah. A hundred thousand dollars a night. You get two master bedrooms, massage table, jacuzzi overlooks, the strip salt relaxation room, all this other stuff. 24 hour Butler chauffeur car, $10,000 in credit to use at the casino. Um,

That can pay for your week. Yeah. Yeah. That can pay for your whole week. I just went to Vegas. If you're a big spender, you could stay there for free. So everything they do in Vegas, I don't know if we talked about this. I've figured out what they do in Vegas is, you know, like if you go golf, I stay at the Wynn Hotel where I did show at the Wynn. So if you go golf, there's like 500 bucks to golf. But all these numbers are just up there. So when you, when they give it to these high rollers, they're able to go, I gave you $500.

they gave you a hundred thousand dollar a night hotel room and you go man it was a hundred thousand dollars it's like a fictional number but they need the number to be high so the person that feels like they're getting something i mean the the wind golf course is awesome i played shadow creek this last time i went uh with my buddy rich day he's uh he listens to the podcast and uh and uh

We go and do it, and then they... Shadow Creek is unreal how nice it is. That's where they did the match, the Tiger and Phil match, the first one. And so everything is top-notch, but it's like, yeah, they got to make these numbers be... Otherwise, if you were a high roller and you're like, it's $1,000 a night or something, and I'm gambling $1,000 a hand. And I learned, too, the odds of blackjack. You know the odds are low on blackjack? It's because of the people in the middle. That's why the odds are low.

For you, like they would say blackjack, it's like casinos always in favor. But if you're, if you, if you, when you gamble blackjack, if you raise your money correctly, so like black, blackjack comes in runs. So you're either be like losing, you got to just sit there. And then when you get on a good run, you got to double, triple, like keep raising your bet. That's how you win money. And what happens is people in the middle,

Or like people that just go to a $5 table. If they bet five, they always bet $5. They don't ever go to 10 or 50. Like you should be going 10, 20, 50. Like when you're on a run. Do you mean people betting in the middle? Yeah.

I'm just talking about like, well, I was in the middle of the whole casino. Oh. Like the, if you go to the high roll of tables, they're like always on the edge or something like that. But like the, yeah, where everybody else is. Yeah. Where it's like a $5 table or $25 table or something like that. Yeah. And those, you got to raise your bet. And then that's how you win. That's how you win money. So when you're on a run in blackjack, you raise it. Yeah. There you go. There you go. A little fun fact, everybody. Go to Vegas. Spin all of it. Vegas is depressing right now. I bet. Yeah.

We were there and everybody's got masks on and it's just seeing the signs for like Bruce Springsteen coming and you're like, he's not there. It feels like it would be like a movie or an apocalypse where you're just seeing. It's just very weird, man. I mean, all the places are closed and

All the casinos are closed right now? No, no. The casinos are open, but it's like all half. But I mean, they have glass in between where everybody sits. You got to wear your mask the whole time, even if you're gambling. Even if you got a drink, you get to take your drink and put your mask back up.

So the high roller poker guys, they're wearing the mask and sunglasses? Yeah. You can't even see their face at all. Yeah, I walked by. There was a lot of people playing poker, but they all had glass in front of them. You sit down, there's glass behind you and in front of you. So you're just in your own little bubble. And then that guy had his hood up, sunglasses, hat, and a mask.

It's like Stormtrooper. Wow. And he's just, you know, can't get a read, can't get read off this guy. Like there's no tell when you're hiding everything. How much does a view matter to you guys in a hotel room? I'm looking at this $100,000. It's got a pretty nice view. I wonder how quickly I'd just be, all right, I get it.

You know, I mean, that looks pretty cool. I don't think so. I think if you got a view like that, you're going to wake up and look at it every day. And before you go tonight, you're going to look at it. And you're pretty like, man, that's crazy. Like you, you're just like, I can't believe this is like, look at you're just in, you laying in bed. There's something about laying in bed and being able to see all that stuff. Every,

everything that's going on and you're in bed. Yeah. That I don't think you're ever tired of that view. I think you want the windows open a lot because you just want to see it. You see, I'm just thinking of the hotels I stay at. I don't even know if I opened the curtains. Yeah. The whole time. Yeah. I mean, cause you got a water heater outside your window. There's yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And you're not going to be tired of this view. You're going to look at this view and be like, this is, you're going to, you know, for all those times we've had to stay in those hotels where you just see the roof, you know, like you're going to want to see these. That's like Salt Lake City. When you go there, you stay in one of their hotels. You can either pick a mountain view or the other side. But the mountain views are like, yeah, man, you see the mountains every day, you know, and you go look at them every day and you're like, because you don't see that at your home.

So it's like you want to see it there. So it's nice. But yeah, maybe not. But, you know, this weekend I woke up, opened up my blinds and I just looked at Springfield, Missouri for a little bit. I was like, all right. And I just closed it right away. I think I got it all. Do you leave the blinds closed the whole time in a hotel? Oh, yeah. Mine are open.

Well, I'll do, maybe I'll do the, you know, the blackout curtains. Yeah. Pull those aside. Yeah. There's just a little, so you can see a little bit. Yeah. A little bit of sunlight in there. Yeah. Just to less depressing. Yeah. And then you go from that room to a Bass Pro shop with no windows. Dude, you don't need windows in there. Yeah. Everything you want to see is inside. Did you see the sun? How much do you think you saw the sun that day?

The whole weekend? I got about an hour's worth probably. The whole weekend, honestly. The sun's going down at like 3 o'clock right now. I know. It's ridiculous. So we talked to his son. He was like, did you see Aaron? He's like, no, I don't know. Was he out? That's what his son would say. Oh, did he go? Was he in Springfield? I didn't even. Why didn't you say something? And you're like, these are all weekend. Dude, I would have dimmed it for you. Yeah, I had no idea.

Yeah, I'd love to see him. He's a good guy. He wears my colors. I saw a picture of the sign in front of the place for your show that had Weber like Chris Weber. That's right. Not Weber like the grill. I was on a big marquee of a rock club, very excited, W-E-B-B-E-R. Basketball player, not the grill. Welcome. That's like show business. Bill Ingvall, when he...

I opened for the last special he taped. I opened for him and he was telling me, God, it was a theater. We went to the theater. Do you, it was in, uh, maybe it's in Peoria, Illinois or something like that. It's something like that. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah. And, uh, we go to the theater and he told me when he, he goes, when I first started doing blue collar, he got on, uh, he, he, he was on the, uh, his name is, or he goes doing a theater for the first time. Right. So he's blue collar doing a theater. First time gets there. His name is misspelled.

He's like, whatever. You know, and it's like, you got a little, you're selling out this theater. You're like, you can spell my name right, dude. Like, it's one thing at comedy clubs or whatever, but then, whatever. So, and then when I opened for him for a special, which was like 20 years later, he gets there, his name was misspelled. His name was spelled at both times. Wow. Which he tells a very funny story, if this is true. I don't know if I've told this story. About them flying private the first time? I don't think so. The first, if it's, not, uh,

The first time they're flying private. So what I, from if this, if what I was told this story and I believe I could be wrong in all of it, but we're just, is billing involved jet Fox, whether they're flying in a private jet, it's like the first time kind of really making it. And so if you get in these, some of these private jets, they don't have bathrooms. So the bathrooms you have to pee, it's basically you don't pee because it's like 40 minute flight. Usually it's kind of quick. But if you have to pee or something, it's usually under a seat.

And so that's where the toilet would be. So, but you don't use it. So they get, they get up in the air, they're going, you know, on a private jet, dude, this is like, you made it. And then the pilot comes back and he goes, you know, look, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you, but it's, I mean, it's happening. Like something, he ate something. And so he had to lift the seat up and then just go to the bathroom, not peeing. Number two. Number two. Just had to sit down.

And there's no curtain. It's just like two feet away from each other. Just two feet away from each other. And he's just sitting there unloading. The pilot. The pilot. Two pilots. And so the other pilots are there. And the whole time he's just going, I'm so sorry, Mr. Fox. I'm so sorry. And just had to sit there and you're like, that's all right, man. You go from this amazing time to be like, we made it, dude. We're in a private jet just to the pilot unloading.

That quickly. That quickly, dude. And you know the moment where you're like, everybody's at the moment where you're like, yeah, dude, it's over. There's nothing I can do. Yeah, there's no turning back. It's happening. It's the last thing the pilot wants to do is do that. Right. And for him to have to do it, you go, it's bad. And just to sit there and be like, I don't even. And they've got nowhere to go, right? You can't be like, hey, turn around. You've got to be like, hey, dude. It's the equivalent of a room. Thinner than a room. I mean. Yeah.

It'd be like just going into a bathroom with someone. It's awful. Yeah. It's pretty great. It's a good metaphor for...

like your career right it's just one minute grass is not green right yeah like that kind of thing like where it's yeah you could think somebody's always gonna have to use the bathroom once you the first thing that i've realized that i don't think the grass not greener i don't think that's correct it's not the same thing no uh that's when you're like oh i wish i had that airplane but that's i know but that but you do wish you had that stuff and then you realize it's all happening everywhere

Like the bad stuff is happening. You do go, I wish I was flying private, but then in that private plane that happens. So isn't that grass is greener? I think so. I think it applies. It's something on the flip side of all this. They, but like I've, I've tried to get, I've tried to get better with, you know, cause we get very kind of competitive in this kind of field and you do think you're getting slighted a lot. And so you're thinking like, I didn't have, you know what? I don't know. It could be like,

your hair being done for a special, and you're like, they don't even give me someone to get my hair done. I look like an idiot for my special. Why don't they care?

or something and then you talk to someone else and you're like oh they didn't do that for him they you're like they don't do it for any of us yeah they don't no one wants to spend this money or no one wants to you're not talking about the hair thing i'm just maybe but whatever it is everybody is getting slighted and it's just a matter of level that you're getting slighted at maybe it's just a dude another guy that's nobody or maybe it's a network on tv no matter what

No one likes us. No one's in favor of us. And they're trying to screw you. I bet that applies for everybody in every business. And you got to just wrap your head around. You're not the only one that's getting treated this way. And once you could do that, that's a big help. Because otherwise you just think everybody else is getting treated amazing. And you're not. You know? Yeah. The most luxurious hotel in the world.

You want to guess where this is? Singapore. It's in Asia. The Burj Al Arab in... I probably didn't say that right. In Dubai. Seven-star hotel.

It's built on a man-made island that has private beaches on three sides. You can do whatever you want when you're on your own island. We have seven stars. You're like, all right, so not six? He goes, a little bit better than six. You go, well, five is great. Five is the best. Hotel staff outnumbers guests. Six would be amazing. And he goes, yeah, well, six would be amazing. Too bad we got seven. Like that's just never stopping. I know, but I'm not believing your seven is the problem. I would have believed six.

And he goes, you believe whatever you want. It's a seven. We're seven stars, dude. I never heard. I thought it went up to five. That's what I was about to say. I didn't know it went beyond five. It goes to. Yeah. Well, apparently it goes to seven. Apparently. I think there's that you're just being ridiculous, though. But if you're on your own island, then it's got to be unbelievable. Hotel staff outnumbers guests with a six to one ratio. Guests have the option of being picked up in a Rolls Royce at the airport. Yeah.

Who's not taking that on? I know. I'm good. I got to go to Avis. My brother's taking me. Don't worry about it, dude. I got to go run a budget. I got a, you know, I got a camera. I can call it an Uber. I got to grab this camera. I'm going to go. I got it. They're blowing my Ford Fusion up right now. I didn't know that you'd send a Rolls Royce, but it's got, it's part electric. Yeah.

Do we need to charge it? No, it does gas, most gas. That's what like some of those...

Like Prius, you thought Prius was like this electric car. You know, when it first comes out, you're like, no, it's just a gas car. It does some other stuff. It's like full-on gas. Oh, it's not electric at all. The Prius, the first Prius is just gas. They're just good gas mileage. Maybe the motor or something. I thought it was a hybrid. Maybe it's a hybrid. Yeah, but a hybrid is... No, but you're not charging it.

I think it charges as you drive. Yeah. Yeah. It's not, but you put gas in it, which I think it's just better. It's not like Tesla. Teslas are full on. Full on. You plug them into the wall, charge them, right? Yeah. All right. A couple of luxuries this thing has. Guests can choose from 17 types of pillows. The mattress. I mean, if you gave me 17 pillows, I would bet money. I would just go, I don't know.

I would want one. I'd be like, I just don't, you know, I don't want to be that guy, but it doesn't, I don't think we got a match here. I mean, how big, do you do a big pillow or a little pillow? For to sleep in? Yeah. Like a little one, I guess. Yeah. And not, not like a big body pillow, but. I like a body pillow, but I use it as a body pillow, but there, but I, I like a thicker, like a lot of hotels have too thick of hotel pillows. Yeah. It's a big problem.

You lay on it and the pillows are just gigantic. And you're sleeping like with your neck cranked. And you're like, I don't sleep like this regularly. Yeah. But it's like pretty tough. Where we stayed in Vegas was the pillows were too big. And I bet you could ask for one. 17, that would be. That's a lot. I'd want to lay them out. The fact that you get 17, I'd be like, well, I'd like to see all 17. You know, I mean, you want to go. I want to. Let's do it. If we're going to do it, let's do it.

The mattresses can cost up to $15,000 and the bedding is stuffed with duck feathers. Speaking of duck feathers, I was going to tell a story, but my buddy Travis, he had a friend and her parents, her dad or something, bought two ducks, bought two baby ducks, right, to keep when they were kids. Hey, I got you baby ducks.

Turns out they were geese and ripped the house apart. Is that not unbelievable? They kept growing and they go, all right, that's probably about it, right? And then they go, no, it's a little bit. We're like, well, all right. This thing's getting, do they stop growing? Like there's a point where you go, no, that's got to be as big as they're going to get.

And then how much is there two, three more weeks where you go, God, this thing is just rocking. This thing is getting enormous. Enormous. And geese are so mean. And they would just get home and the house would be ripped apart. Imagine, sweetie, I bought you two baby ducks.

And then you're locking, you're just, you got to run and slam and lock the door. And then it's like, and they're just beating on the door. You're screaming. I mean, that's what it goes to. It goes to this moment of like a picture of holding the baby ducks. And I love you so much to just fearful people walking by going, what's going on? Yeah. How did they find out that they were geese? When they get to the point,

I mean, a geese looks very different than a duck. Oh, so they just eventually realized that, oh, maybe these aren't ducks. Yeah, when they're babies, they all look the same. But then you're like, man, that neck's getting... I don't know if they had somebody come in, like an expert. They bring them to the vet. Can you take care of our ducks? Why are ducks acting so different than what seems how ducks act? When I walk by a pond and I see a duck, I just don't see them being problems. Right. But our ducks...

I called in a duck whisperer. Our servant is still stuff. The duck whisperer. Yeah. I think it just gets the neck. Once you see the neck start going, you're like, man, we could be in trouble, dude. Yeah. But if you 100% think it's a duck, I mean, at what point? First, you just think, oh, I misjudged ducks. Ducks are not as good as I thought they were as pets. And then you're going, no, I bet it's a full-on goose. It's a full-on goose. That's so funny. I mean, how do you even sleep at night?

With the goose of the house? Dude, I think... What did they do to them? Did they... I think they hunt you down. No, what did they do? Okay, so they found out they were geese. Did they keep them? Or did they go, all right, maybe we should... I don't know. I'm trying to find out more information because I enjoyed the story so much that I was like, I'd like to know. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you go let them go. Right. But I don't know how you get them. You probably just have to open the door and go, go. I mean, I don't think you can get them in your car and go properly let them go in water.

You got to let them go in your regular neighborhood. Right. It's a goose that's furious. That's the goose. They never let up. They don't want to leave. They don't want to leave. They never let up. A goose never just goes timeout. Oh, you don't think they just fly right out the door? I think they want to traumatize that family. So they'd be like, we're staying around. Yeah. I don't think a goose ever, you know, is like, hold on timeout. That's.

I don't think you'd ever get that moment of relief with a goose in your house where you go, all right, all right. And then you get everybody to stop for a second and go, this is... We need to figure something out. This is not working. I don't think you get to say that with a goose. I think a goose is just full throttle. The second...

You realize it's not a duck. It's a problem until the day you get rid of it. It's like owning a boat for the first two days. The best two days of buying a boat is the day you buy it and the day you sell it. Same thing with a goose. There's only one good day. It's when you finally get rid of it and your family's alive. That's the only good day. You go, well, when it was a baby, it was acute. It doesn't even really matter because it did so much trauma. Yeah.

Up afterwards that I don't, that one hour of enjoying it was just, it's, I wouldn't, it's not worth, it's not worth it. You know? Yeah. That's great. It's a great story. One more hotel, Mr. Real fast coming soon, a space hotel. Orion span hopes to launch his Aurora space station in 2021 and open it to guests by 2022. A 12 day visit costs at least 9.5 million.

People can already put down an $80,000 deposit, join a wait list for reservations. They accept Bitcoin and other cryptocurrency. So if that's the case, I'll do it. And within 72 hours of opening the wait list, the company said it's already sold four months worth of reservations deposits. We also take a unicorn poop. Like he just says stuff that's like, it's make believe I'm going to go, you know, that's just an idea you're throwing out there. You can go stay on. Where is it? Mars.

No, this is just like the space station. Oh, it just floats around in space. Yeah. Like the submarine. It basically looks like a submarine. It's basically a submarine that you go, where are you guys going to go? So you thought we were taking guests to Mars in 2022? Aren't there people on Mars? Yeah, they're there right now. There's people on Mars. No, they're not on Mars. What do we have on Mars? We have a few rovers over there. Curiosity. We're trying to go to Mars.

Working on it. Sorry I'm not as up to date to Mars travel. We're taking hotel guests next year. It's a major human achievement. It's not like it's just space nerd stuff. I'm not saying it wouldn't be.

I'm not even really paying attention. You're like, sorry, I don't know if humans are on Mars or not. Yeah, that'd be a big deal. I'm not saying it's not a big deal. I just asked a simple question. I didn't really think that people were on Mars. I haven't been up to date. Right. I hear about Mars a lot. Uh-huh. I don't think the tone should have been thrown back at me. I'm trying to make a horrifically boring podcast be funny. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for bringing some joy to just...

nonsense that's ryan span you're quoting ryan span over you that's fair um but uh visitors can see 16 sun rises a little bit where are we at that's for that i think they're saying the same thing as submarine let's go down can we get a little farther away get a better view of earth nah can we do uh go 100 feet up i like no windows on this yeah yeah

I'd like to see Earth. It has no windows on it. It's just a sticker of Earth. We forgot to put... And you're like, is that... We got here quick, huh? Yeah, yeah. It's pretty quick. I didn't even feel really anything. That's crazy, dude. You know, this is right where I came from my submarine hotel. It's like right down the road. He goes, is it? I heard about that. Is that pretty fun? He goes, yeah, it's a pretty good time, man. Actually, this is the same crew here on this one. You know, it's funny. I parked my car in the same spot.

Do you think they take Rolls Royce? If you go to... You guys want us to come pick you up? Nah, we're good. We'll just drive down. Take Southwest. That's a pretty easy flight down to go to Mars.

I do like one of the amenities they offer besides seeing a sunrise every 90 minutes is high-speed Wi-Fi. Yeah, that's pretty good. You get there and immediately like, what's your password? Did you guys look outside a lot? I was on my phone quite a bit. I had a fantasy draft, so I did that up in space. You know, did drafts of Cam Newton in the third round. Don't know if that was worth it, but you know that's what would happen. I would be like, I just don't want Wi-Fi.

You'd almost rather just like, let me, I'm not bringing my phone. I'm bringing an awesome camera. I'm taking the full force to enjoy this. Yeah. I'm not going to go up there and be flipping through and be like, oh man, Susie arguing with mom. I watched the show with my fiance about people that charter yachts, luxury yachts in the Caribbean and stuff. And you'd be talking about the, the, you watched the Bravo show.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. Dude, he's trying to act like he watched a documentary about... That's not... Yeah, you try to pass that off. That's not... Like, we were watching this just about people chartering. It's a straight-up soap opera. What is it? It's Beverly Housewives on a yacht. It's called Below Deck. Oh. Yeah.

Dude, the way you saw that. I thought it was on PBS. The Captain Mr. Spinner over here. You know what? I watched something about the history of Beverly Hills. Oh, that's cool. What is it? It's these four women and they argue and fight over having just a lot of money and stuff like that. And you're like, oh, that's cool. Anyway, so we watched this expose. Yeah.

People that charter yachts, it costs so much money. You'd be surprised at the people that just get on there and just are on their laptop working the whole time. Like you said, it's pretty amazing. Yeah, they have a lot of money. And they go, yeah. And a lot of them have to work to afford something like that. And then, yeah. But I mean, I imagine, yeah, you're just sitting there.

But, you know, like you got tired of this Las Vegas view. You think you'd get how much do you think you're going to go up there and be like, oh, let me guess the earth again. Yeah, I'm good. He goes, guys, you watch Sunrise one more time. Oh, God.

The 15th. Is this one going to be different? 12. How long is this trip? We've been over here for four days. I get there eventually. I don't think I get there quickly, but I think everybody gets there eventually. Yeah.

I think you still just go, I can't believe I'm in space. It's like when you stare. I feel like you can stare at the ocean a lot. There's stuff like in the wilderness. You could watch trees. If you're out in the mountains, you can go stare at mountains. You go to Wyoming, I think you could stare at mountains for hours and just keep staring. And I bet there's enough other stuff going on. I mean, you're floating the whole time.

You think the people that spend like 18 months in space, you think 18 months in, they're like, whoa, dude.

I mean, no, I bet they get, yeah, yeah. I think they get tired of it. I think it's just the, like you just want, it's a long time to be up there. That one guy spent a year up there and then came back. He thinks he spent a year alone, right? Kelly? No, he was up there with other astronauts. Was he? Because he's the only one that gets talked about being up there a year. Well, I think his case was so unusual because he has a twin brother that stayed on Earth and they used...

They did testing to see how your body changes. The bald head dude? Yeah. He's a twin brother. Oh. He's also astronaut. He ran for senator, didn't he? And no, it's Mark Kelly's the one that. That's the one we're talking about. That's the one we're talking about. Yeah. But he has a twin brother. Yeah. And they did the test on the body to see how your body changes after a year in space. Yeah. Because their genetic makeup is the same. Yeah.

And did it change? Yeah. A lot? I think you age differently, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Like he looks older or younger? I better stop talking. I don't know. He's probably taller than him. That'd be my guess. He's got hair. Stretches you out? Yeah, well, there's no gravitational pressure on your spine.

for 18 months i bet i bet you're significantly taller when you get back significantly i mean that's the uh he comes in whoa hey little fella who drove this my twin brother can't even put my feet on the pedals uh six five i'm not saying a foot taller but a few inches i think we would have heard about that

Well, you didn't even know if people had landed on Mars. So I don't know if you would have heard about it. I think I would have heard about it. I said, where is this going? Mars? There's a Tesla floating around in space, dude. I don't know what's going on up there, man. We might go up there in two seconds. That's fair. We'll get to some flights. Yeah.

Let's get to this. A six foot tall man would be as many as two inches taller when getting back from space. What says while in orbit? While in orbit. You return to normal. After a few months when you get back. I'm not saying he's still taller. You were hoping that. Yeah, I was. The most expensive flight. The Martian, where was he at in that movie? He was at Mars. That wasn't a documentary.

It's a little more credible than what Aaron's watching. It's more of a documentary than Below Deck is, probably. That's for sure. The most expensive flight is from New York to Abu Dhabi, $64,000. But you get so much stuff on here. For first class? A house in space. No, it's a lot more than that. Three-room apartment, basically, on an airplane. Lounge, a bathroom.

And a bedroom. Can you click on that? So it's first class. So there's people in coach. And then you're in the front. I think you get like your own private... It's called the residence because it's like a house on an airplane. Yeah. You get a bedroom, a bathroom, and a lounge. A personal butler. One-way ticket costs $64,000. But it provides travel for two people. So I guess...

$64,000 for two. Not that bad of a deal, to be honest. Now we're getting somewhere. How long is that flight? New York to Abu Dhabi, probably pretty long. Oh, there we go. We got all the facts except the length of the flight. There's what the room looks like. I mean, it looks pretty comfortable. It's more comfortable than any flight I've taken. Yeah. Obviously. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, is it like a...

The longest flight is like 24 hours, so. I got that here. Longest flight is from Singapore to Newark, New Jersey, 18 hours and 30 minutes. 18 hours. It's a long way to wake up and you're like, where are we? Newark, New Jersey. I guess we made it. Yeah. You just get off the plane and you're like, all right, this was a...

At least we're... Where are we? Newark. Which airports have the most weather delays? Anybody want to guess? Seattle. Nope. Not on the top 10. SeaTac. Not even in the top 10? Nope. Dallas is number nine. Chicago. O'Hare is number three. New York. Boston. The Tampa airport. LaGuardia is number four. JFK is number eight. Boston is number six. Cheyenne. I don't know. I'm trying to think number one. Probably was Denver. Denver.

Divers number five. I'm getting pretty good. You're getting a lot of these. LAX. Miami. Not weather. Weather delays? Yeah, weather delay. Yeah. It's, man. Yeah, Miami. Sacramento. Now, Turler is definitely checked out. Yeah. I mean, I'll give you one more chance. I'll give another chance. Just what was number one? Number one, New York. New York. Oh, New York. Because all the Singapore traffic comes in. Yeah.

Guys, we're about to make the descent. We're going to have to circle around for another two hours. You've been on this flight for 18 hours. Yeah. I couldn't. You know, I've been asked to go to Australia a bunch, and I do. I want to go. I kind of now want to wait until Harper's like 10 or 11 so we can take her and enjoy it. But that flight makes me, especially now, feeling claustrophobic. It's like the flight's so much. How long is it?

It's like, I just remember I flew through Dallas and then through LAX. By the time you get to the West Coast, you're just done with flying. And then you got like a 16-hour flight or something left. 16 hours. It's something 14, 16 from LA. From LA. Yeah. Yeah. I drove 16 hours on Thursday. It's a long day. Wow. Yeah. That's a long day. From where did you go? Springfield? I was in Hilton Head on Thursday. Yeah.

So at a 4 p.m. show in Hilton Head. So I left at 2 a.m. Spreading COVID everywhere. And did the show and then drove back that night. Eight hours each way. It's a long time. You didn't sleep? You just, you did one night? No. I slept when I got back for a few hours. Yeah.

That's impressive. Yeah. Did you watch some West Wing? That's the traveling of, did you? No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. I didn't, man. What'd you do? I listened to a lot of podcasts. Yeah. Real Housewives? I watched some Below Deck. Did you listen to a Below Deck podcast? Ooh, is there a Below Deck podcast? You like Below Deck.

I don't mind it. In terms of shows that I've watched with my fiance, I don't dislike it. It's reoccurring people, right? Yeah, it's the same crew. Yeah. So is that a big sign to you that it wasn't documentary when you go, wow.

This girl seems to be sassy every episode. When you saw, how much sass did it take before you go? I don't know. Let me tell you, among the stewards, yeah, a lot of sass going on. A lot of sass. Yeah, yeah. The chiefs do, you know. I could talk about it for a while, but I won't. It's good. I've never watched it, but it's, you know. It's interesting. It's like a whole new world I knew nothing about. Yeah. Chartering yachts. It's like working at a restaurant, but yeah. No, yeah. My aunt loves it. Go ahead, Brian. Yeah.

What's the longest? Yeah, it's really. What's the longest you guys have been stuck on a plane? I went, I went to, uh, when I flew into Iraq from here to, where did we go? India first. Uh, I've been to Turkey, Istanbul with me, Joe list, Louis Katz,

And we, you know, there's a big fight scene in Taken or Taken 2 or something where he fights at a bathhouse. Yeah. And we went to that bathhouse. Oh, really? And we did the bathhouse thing. It's weird. You just lay on a, like, thing and a guy just hits you with it. With branches and stuff? Yeah, like all that stuff. And then he rubs you down. Did it feel good? I don't know. It's pretty crazy. You know, it's like...

I think it did. Would you do it here? I mean, honestly, as a guy, it looks like your dad with no shirt on that's like rubs your back and then just hits you with stuff. And you're just kind of like, after a minute, you're like, ah. You're like, ah, yeah. You're like, you know. You're like, okay. This is good. I get it, you know. I mean, yeah, it's a little uncomfortable. It's a guy who looks like you're getting a bar fight with right after. Like, it's that. I mean, oh, I'm going to wash your back. I mean, there's – it's –

It's the most, I feel like testosterone in a room. Right. Doing the most, the least testosterone things a lot is basically what it is. It's just like, how can we get men crammed in and then make them do not man stuff? I don't even take a bath in regular life, you know? And then, well, let's do it.

What about if we got his uncle to wash his back? That's what it, you know, that's what the brochure should say. Just you ever wanted your uncle to wash your back and hit you with the stick. And you're like, I don't know, maybe, maybe I do. I don't know if I want that.

You know, that's something you don't know. Is it like a luxurious thing to do over there? Or is it just like a very common, like, I don't know, getting a haircut? I think it's like eating a dog, you know, in other countries. I don't know. I made that up. But there, it's, I think it's a, I think they, you know, they like it. I think it's like going to somewhere here. You know, like other countries are like, it's like nudity is not a big deal in like other countries. And like, you know, you grow up wine and,

France, you're drinking wine. Or in Italy, you're like 10, 11, and you're having a sip of wine. So I think it's similar to that, except it's a man punching you in the back of the head with a cloth. And you go, I appreciate it. And he slides you around, like he grabs you and just spins you around.

Where does he grab you? Like your feet. You're facing one way and it's like he's going to turn you. You're on a lazy Susan. What's a big... Go watch the scene from Taken when he fights. We're laying on that... Like a merry-go-round kind of thing. Is there a lookup like Taken? Yeah, it's like the...

He fights someone on that table. That's the one we went to. We went to it. That flight... I don't like the results that just came out. Why don't we... We'll screenshot that. That jumped up quick. I never made that mistake when I had the laptop. Whatever those images were can't be worse than what I went through in that bathhouse. It's...

So that flight we go, and a little fun fact, if you fly over a certain amount of time, I want to say it's 12 hours or something like that. Oh, no, if you're layover. I'm sorry. If your layover is over six hours to 12 hours, I can't remember what the number is, you get a hotel room.

They give you a hotel room, which we did not know that. So we specifically, we were going to Kuwait and Iraq. And so we specifically got a flight that had an 18-hour layover in Turkey and Istanbul because we go, oh, let's just go walk around Istanbul. You know, we can go see it. And so we go and we got a hotel room at first because we were like, we'll get one room to shower and stuff in. But then we found out

If you get that long of a delay, they have to give you a hotel room. So they gave us a hotel room. We all got our own hotel room. We just went and showered real fast. And then we were out and about. And we just walked around the city basically for the rest of that time until we went back to the airport. It was pretty great. If you're ever taking some ridiculously long trip, get a long layover in some town. Yeah. In some country. And then just go see that country. And so we went and did that. And then one time when I flew to India...

I remember this girl, I was sitting on the edge. I was in the two seats because I've flown to Germany, been in the middle going to Iraq. And I remember I moved my seat back. I leaned it back and the guy punched the seat. And I looked at him and I was like, you know, and that was about it. And he's from Germany. He'd probably kill me. I mean, but he was just like, oh, he just hit it. It was like, don't do that. And then I'm like, your seat's back. What?

Right. What's your thinking on leaning seats back on a plane? I've never had it happen. I've never leaned back. I think you just have a conversation with the person. No, you don't do that at all. No. You just go, hey, do you mind if I lean back a little bit? You just go in. I think the seat leans back. Yeah.

You're allowed to lean it back. Yeah. That's what, like, you're just making up that you're like, well, you can't do it. You can, that guy could lean his seat back and we're in the same situation. What's the difference of if you both lean back, it's the same amount of room. We can't use the tray table if the person in front of you is leaning back. You can't. I mean, look, I get when some of them lean back, I get it. People slam it back. But if they do, then they just, then you're behind someone that does that. And that's what it is. Yeah.

And then sometimes you don't get it. Sometimes you do do it. I am now so self-conscious about doing it that I'll do it a little bit, but I won't do it much because I'm just so scared. I've had someone on one of those long flights I took. The lady goes, hey, could you not lean your seat back? My husband got, he's very tall. And it's, I mean, it's like a 12 hour flight. And you're like, what are you doing? Like,

And then that guy puts his seat back. So he gets to put his back, but I don't get to put mine back? Well, he is tall. He is tall. Like there's a weird, I think, just put it back if you want to put it. I'm sick of tall people, dude. Yeah? I'm just throwing that out there. They run this country. Really? Yeah. Can you not lean your seat back? I'm tall. Yeah. Yeah. They want the exit road. That's like on Southwest. They get on whenever they want. Right. Right.

And then they go, can I sit there? And you're like, yeah, you could pay to get up earlier. Why don't you do that? And then they don't do that. Anyway, so the thing I was talking about, I was sitting on the edge, and this girl...

I was at the window just two seats on the aisle I was at the window she was on the aisle and I got up to go to the bathroom and she goes you know if you want me to sit over there I won't get up and then I'm like you know I was still now I'm an owl guy but this was back when I was a window guy I used to be a big window guy now I've moved to the aisle I've seen enough out there and then there uh so she goes I go okay whatever and uh

So I switched seats with her and dude, she did not move from, I was like Washington to India jacket over her head.

didn't move. Wow. You know, when the sun sets and you got to close the window because you're going, I mean, I had to do all that stuff and I think you're just kind of looking at her for movement at some point just to be like, are you okay? What's happening? She took something, I guess. I guess, yeah, she's either the greatest sleeper that's ever lived and we landed and she's like, hi, and you're like, wow. I mean, I'm like a different person, you know, like the amount, like she wakes up, I'm like,

You don't even know what's been going on, dude. Like, you know, there's been a lot's happened. There was a video from earlier this year of a guy constantly punching the back of a woman's seat. And so a lot of debate came out about that. A guy invented a thing that you put on people's...

Yeah. Called the knee defender. That's insane. That's insane. If that, if someone ever did that, that's where the line gets strong. That's crazy to me that that guy would, you cannot put that on there. Yeah. That's not the seat goes back. That's the deal. If you want to argue, it's not a, we're not policing each other. You're not doing some guys not going, he's, he's not rigging the seat to go back a little bit farther.

You know what I mean? Like he's, it's going back, whatever it goes back. If he wants to lean it back, he can lean it back. That's his right. Yeah. If you don't like it, maybe your fight's not as comfortable. Sometimes they are, sometimes they're not. Sometimes you get a comfortable fight. That person doesn't. If you don't want to deal with stuff like that, you can go sit in different parts too. You can pay more. Right. You can go sit where there's comfort. You're a little bit farther away. There's other options.

But if a guy wants to throw it back, then he gets to throw it back. It is what it is. What I'm saying is how we're doing so much to just avoid having a conversation with another human being. If you're seriously that uncomfortable with somebody leaning back, why don't you go, hey, do you mind for a little bit? Just don't lean back. Give me a little, you know. You go and buy a thing and just do it without talking to them. Well, that guy puts it on there. He wants to...

start a fight, that would be... If you see someone... I saw one guy at Target with no mask. That's like that guy. That guy wants you to say something to him. And that's not majority of the people. That's not even 1% of the people. It's 0 point whatever percent. But there's enough guys that's the guys that wear a t-shirt with a saying on it that want you to say something. I saw this woman at Target yesterday. I felt like she was putting on a show. She was...

She had her two kids, and they were asking about toys, and she was just trashing her two kids in the toy. I was watching it, and the kids were like, I want that. She's like, do you even know what that is? I'm not going to buy it, and then you're just going to put it in the closet again. That's all. I'd rather spend a trip to Disney World than buy this junk again. A couple of the women are wives, and as they walk by, they're laughing.

And I'm kind of standing over there because I'm like, I think I'm watching her do a show. As someone that tells jokes for a living, this lady's getting some laughs. Yeah. And so she just... I mean, she stood in the one spot and was just getting a new audience every couple minutes. Oh, so she had like two aisles that could watch her? She was at one aisle and you'd walk...

back you'd walk in front of her so but people are coming left and right and just and I mean she just would throw on the jokes and I'm like this lady's put on a show and I like kept Laura's like walking around I was like I want to follow her around because I think she's going to go to a different section and do the same another show same sketch I couldn't tell if I liked it like in my head as a as a performer

You know, you're like, oh, this is the person that would tell me that she could do comedy. She's got the itch, man. She's got the itch. Needs a scratch. She's put on a full-on show. And killing. I mean, doing pretty good. Yeah. She did all right. She got some laughs. Good for her. I'll skip ahead. Lost bags. Airports mishandle 4.68 bags for every 1,000 passengers. Southwest has the most lost luggage.

But they also have the most flights. So on average, they're about the same as other airlines. There's an unclaimed baggage place in Scottsboro, Alabama. You guys been there? I almost went to it. Last time we were there, someone mentioned it about going there, where you can go buy all the stuff from bags. Yeah, that's pretty interesting because I didn't know about it. So if someone's listening, where's it at? It's in Scottsboro, Alabama. It's a 40,000 square foot warehouse. Nation's only retailer of lost luggage.

Some crazy stuff that they've had there. One of them was a live rattlesnake. They still sell that. Well, they didn't sell the rattlesnake. They said they didn't put that on the sales floor. But they get all kinds of crazy stuff. Dude, how great would it be? And you go, there's also a rattlesnake for sale. You're like, wow, can I see it? It's like, yeah, I mean, it's somewhere in this building. 40,000 square foot. Yeah, I mean, absolutely. We're selling anything.

It's here. You can find it. If you can find it. We'll give you a deal on it. If you make us find it, it's 500 bucks. I don't know what a rattlesnake goes for. Feels like 500 would be a decent, decent, you know, because I can go catch it for free. Who? I mean, it's probably illegal to put a rattlesnake in your checked bag. I don't know about that, Brian. Yeah, it is actually. It is. I checked. Oh, it is. Oh, Aaron, you know what turns out? What I'm saying is who? Turns out, Aaron, it is illegal to put a live rattlesnake

And your checked bag. I would argue, is your checked bag? If you're checking the bag. Oh, that's fine. And I'm saying, who does that and then just forgets their bag or doesn't get it? Knowing there's a rattlesnake. If they lost the bag. Yeah, but you can go get it, right? But if they lost it, it's lost. They keep it at the airport. It's at the store now. Well, the word lost...

It's like, but if you're... I think it's gone. Yeah. They keep it at the airport for about 60 days. Okay. If you forgot it, now you're not going to go back and get it probably because you realize that airport's opened that rattlesnake and they know you're not supposed to have it. Oh. That's my guess. So once you forgot it, you're lost. Well, after 60 days, they take it to the unclaimed baggage store. So they found it. Yeah, because if it's lost, it could be lost. All right. So it's a mix. It's a...

I think the grass is the greener on me and you. Yeah. On what's happening with me and you. Right. Right now. Flip side. There's all kinds of crazy stuff there, though. Shrunken heads they found from South America. Space shuttle camera. All kinds of crazy stuff there. A space shuttle camera. Yep. Wow. Modified into... I don't even know. What is...

A camera that they used on the space shuttle? Designed in the late 80s. The unique model was one of the earliest iterations of the digital camera. Only three were made. Because of its rarity, the company sent the camera back to NASA. It's... Oh, it was a camera that used on the space... How does that get... I don't know. The rattlesnake is still number one. For sure. The fact that a live rattlesnake just to... Yeah, you definitely can't go back and get that back. You want to go back and get it?

And you got to tell the person, let's just go back and get it. I thought they'd find it. They said they called and found it. It's like, I got to tell you something. I had to rely on it. It was going to be a surprise. And I'm still going to get it to you. It's not going to be this one. I bought you a live rattlesnake for your birthday. That's what he had to tell that guy.

And he goes, oh man. He goes, I know. But they got it. I was hoping the bag wouldn't get lost. I was going to check it overhead, but then I just didn't know. This thing rattles. You know what I mean? You hear it in the bag. I'll say the snake wasn't thrilled to be in the bag. Let me tell you that. When I put it in there with my clothes, it didn't feel like this was going to go good. So I thought, I better check this bag.

That's what I thought. That was my thought process. And I bought you this rattlesnake and I don't feel stupid that I don't have, I don't have any, everybody's giving the guy presents and he goes, and I have, I have nothing. I had, I was going to be the leader of presence to I'm embarrassed. Yeah. That was funny. Longest bus route in the U S from Miami, Florida to Seattle, Washington. This is anywhere down the street. Yeah.

I spent a night in a bus one month. What's that say? Is that the same? It's not that, but I know what you're talking about. The Merv Griffin episode. I spent a month there one week. Yeah. Miami to Seattle, 88 hours, which is three days and 16 hours.

Routes offered by Greyhound. I think if you go on an 88-hour bus trip, I think as a group, you've become friends with multiple groups and you've hated other people. I think there's a pod and you're just circling. I mean, I think, honestly, it would be like Survivor, the TV show Survivor. If you're on an 88-hour bus ride, I think you would...

Just be, you'd go through just wild swings, dude. Yeah. You would just, you know, there's points of, I mean, hour 18, you would go sit next to just a stranger and be like, I don't know if I can do this. Are we crazy to be doing this? And she, because you have 70 more, no, 18, you'd have 60 more hours. Yeah. 60, yeah.

No, right? No, 70. 70 more hours. 70 more hours after 18. Can you imagine? After 18 hours on a bus. Would you do like an airplane where you strike up the conversation as you're pulling into Seattle? I don't even think you're trying to. I think it's just... It'll happen. It's going to happen. It's just pure survival. It'd be like if you were trapped in the wild. Like if you were lost. If you're on a deserted island and another guy showed up, you would be like, oh my God, I can't believe you're here. You would start... You're talking out of that desperation.

Yeah. And to be 88 hours. But a lot of people on planes say they don't start a conversation until they're about to land in case that person's a nut job. Yeah. Or a nightmare. But then if you're like, oh, the person was great. Yeah. On a bus, you're quiet for three days. I think on a bus, I mean, I think you're in there. So where are you from? I think some people don't make, they just make noises. Yeah. I think you're, you know, I mean, I...

I'd be disappointed if there wasn't a live rattlesnake just in someone's back. I think there's a lot of stuff. If you're on a bus, I did a bus. The only ones I've done is New York to Boston. It was pretty great. It was super smooth, easy. Some of those buses are unreal now. They have Wi-Fi. You're all set up. It wasn't crowded. We got our own row. But 88 hours, man. I mean, that would be... It makes 45 stops. Nashville is one of them.

And I checked their schedule. If you're going home for Christmas, you need to leave on December 21st to get there by Christmas morning. Wow. $229. I mean, I think you can get a flight cheaper than that. Yeah. There was flights from LAX to Las Vegas for $12. Mm-hmm. 12 bucks. Really? Is that not crazy? I don't feel like you're giving it to me. And that's $12. $12.

I mean, it's wild, man. That's wilder than if they said free. Free would make more sense to me. Because you're like, what are they doing? Something? 12 bucks? 12 bucks is crazy, yeah. That's crazy. It's a short flight, though. You would tip the baggage guy more than your flight cost. The Uber would be wildly more expensive. Over budget because of the Uber.

12 bucks. 12 bucks. 12 bucks. Brian, did you have the joke about you were in an Uber so long that you and the driver hugged after the trip was over? No, that's not me. I feel like I know that joke. Yeah. I thought it was you. No, not me. I wish it was. That's funny. Longest Uber ride. All right.

Yeah, let's speed through some of these. All right, the longest Uber ride was a promotional thing by a YouTube celebrity called Mr. Beast. He went from North Carolina. I looked up Mr. Beast once. He's doing wild stuff. Yeah. I was looking up YouTube stuff and what these guys... Mr. Beast, I mean, they make... They're making like $10 million a year, like these guys. Yeah. And he does... I think it's the guy that someone described him as being like... It's a guy that...

actually does the clickbait title that he says. Yes. Yeah. So it's like, it's, it's a title that you would be a clickbait title and then he actually does it. Right. I watched the video. He, uh, he goes from North Carolina to California. First thing he has to do, obviously is convince his Uber driver to drive him from North Carolina to California. I mean, the guy has to call his wife and explain the whole thing. Uh, so he and his buddies ride to California and they document it. Whole trip cost. Anybody want to guess? Uh,

$13,000? Yeah. $8,000. $5,500. But the driver got $4,100 after Uber tickets cut. But Mr. Beast, I think he matched whatever the guy got paid. So the guy probably got close to $10,000. He had to drive back? Yeah, by himself. Yeah. So he paid him to drive back. Yeah. The only thing with his YouTube stuff, that kind of guy, I don't mind that.

Like, it's like coming up with stuff, but like, that's the thing that we're creativity is like going that, like, as far as like your, your product that you're known for is any, look, you gotta be the guy that wants to do something like that. Hey, we're going to do this and shoot it and put it out. But it's, you know, it's like, I don't know. It's like, I don't know how creative is it. You know, it's,

if we ever do the Krispy Kreme thing, how many donuts can we eat? Or if we do, you know, it's like, how long could three of us last in a submarine? Who would lose it first? I'm out first, for sure. I know, but you go like, I'm going to go get a submarine. I'm going to film it.

I don't know. It's like, to me, that's the only thing that I have, I have a hard time wrapping my head around. It's because like, I think what we do as far as like in your standup is you're making this up out of thin air and you're making, you know, you're, you're, you're creating a show and with everything and this kind of stuff,

It's just like, are you crazy enough to go want to do this? Yeah. That's what it is. And then if you are, then you are going to get paid millions of dollars. I mean, Jackass was kind of that, I guess. Right. But they would do dangerous... I guess you're paying for their personalities too, I guess. But...

Yeah, to watch them. The longest legit Uber ride, not like a stunt, was from Dallas to Nashville. Three Chinese businessmen flew into Dallas-Fort Worth. They had to get to Nashville for a noon meeting the next day on Monday. All the flights were canceled because of weather. So they took an Uber, 685 miles, more than 11 hours to Nashville. So that had to be...

A couple thousand dollars probably. It was $1,100, which the driver got $800. Not bad. Yeah, $1,100 is not bad. Not bad for the businessman, you mean. Not bad for everybody involved. Everybody involved. Just a good transaction. It says, by comparison, if they had booked a bus trip to Nashville, it would be about $100 each, but they probably wouldn't have arrived on time. Yeah, well, that's the big one. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Is there any more fun, like any quick fun ones? Service animals starting 2021. Can't be on planes. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know that. When did that happen? Just recently. Yeah. Are people upset about it? Yeah, some people are. Dogs can still go as long as they meet certain requirements. They argued for miniature horses because they said they were smaller than some dogs and that miniature horses can lay down easier than typical horses. But why does someone need a miniature horse? Yeah.

I don't know. Is that in capuchin monkeys? What do you have that you need a miniature horse? I don't know. I would argue those are the people who should be getting to do it. The people that own the miniature horse? If you have a dog, you're just doing that because you don't want to pay baggage fees. But if you have a therapy turkey, you've got issues. And those are the people I want to keep an eye on. Those are the ones I want to know about. Now I can't know if they're crazy when I sit down with them. If I have a therapy rattlesnake, I can't just throw that in my bag. Yeah.

you don't want to get there. And he's like, what's your, you have a therapy room. I do. Oh, where is it? You're sick. You're sick. I would rather any animal, but dogs be allowed to do it. There is, I, it was out of control. I love that they shut this down. There's, these are all the people that, you know, not the ones that need it. There's plenty of people that, that you can tell when they need it. And it's, it's, it's, it's a serious dog. Everybody else. I would, uh,

I never believed it for a second. And I... What's funny is these are the people that take advantage. They're the people that don't want you to take advantage of anything, but they're taking advantage. They are mocking the idea. It's a mockery of just the person that actually does need the dog. I've seen like military guys. They have like a big dog. Like, you know, you're like, that dog's there for a reason, right? Yeah. All that kind of stuff. And then all these other people that have these little dogs and then they're just sitting there. It's like, well, I get anxiety when I fly. You're like, you...

Everybody does, by the way. I'm sorry I didn't claustrophobic. Everybody gets all this stuff. You could take something for that. You have a dog. You want to take your dog for free, and you want to make it up and be this scenario. You're completely lying and taking advantage of people that actually need it, and it's actually disgusting. It's actually you're being a disgusting person. Why do you do that? Exactly.

It's a mean thing. It's yeah. I agree. You're you're now in 2021. They can't, they can't. It's great. Good for them. Good. I'm good. Yeah. I love it. I love it. It was infuriating. Uh,

Some of the Sebastian Mascalco had as the joke where he said someone took a peacock. You have no one in your family that just goes, what are you doing? Like, you know, like that's the, like, that's the best that I love that exhibit. Like no one, you have no one in your life that goes, what? No, you can't take a peacock on a plane. That's crazy. Yeah.

All right. Is that it? Yeah, I mean, I got more, but that's a good stopping spot. We're going to need a service animal for this. The record spent on an airplane on the tarmac, 11 hours. The record spent? Like stuck on the tarmac. Oh, wow. Jet blue, February 14th, 2007. They wouldn't let the passengers get off. They spent 11 hours. They call it the Valentine's Day. I feel like this is like how when you...

You know, you're saying like you wait to talk to the person till the very end, right? Yeah. I feel like that's what you're doing with this material. You read the breast stuff, right? We're about to leave. Good night. You could have opened with that one. That would have been a little more funner. All right, everybody. As always, thank you guys so much for listening. We love you guys and everything. We miss you. I don't know. We miss you. I miss you. Be safe. I miss you. Be safe.

Be careful out there. We'll see you next week right before Christmas and the holidays. So, all right. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media.

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