224: #224 Everyone's Back
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Back at it. Everybody's pretty different, but Brian's the same. You think anything's changed? No. Not for some time. It's pretty crazy. I leave for a month. This is Aaron Webber, by the way. We got Mountain Dews on the...

On the desk. Mountain Dew. Legit sponsor. I was blown away with Mountain Dew last week because I popped in last week and I was like, good night, dude. I didn't even know. Bombas is, I mean, we're like, it's like we're a TV show. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. It's a real deal, man. Yeah, it's no joke. Dusty, thanks for coming in and being part of this. I'm pumped to be here. Yeah. I'm pumped to be here. Feels great.

I'm so excited you're back. Thanks, man. It's been a long time. I'm pumped to be back, too. Lots happened. I have missed you. Thanks, dude. I'm excited you're back. Thank you. Thank you. I had a lot of jokes that bombed, and I thought if Aaron was here, he'd either laugh out of politeness or just laugh into how bad they were doing. Either way, there'd be a laugh. These guys aren't giving you nothing? Yeah, definitely.

I wasn't here. It's been me and Brian for a long time. Me and Brian have been running the podcast. Did y'all do one with just the two of you? No, we never did. No. That would have been great. That would have been how to keep it going. But we kept bringing in guests. Babysitters, basically. One day the camera cuts on us, just Brian in the middle of the table. Yeah. Finally. Oh, boy.

And I mean, everybody watching is like, ah, here we go. It's going to be like a news. It'll be like an earthquake or something happened. And Brian's just like, I'm going to steer this ship in. Like Wolf Blitzer. Election night. It's like the guy in that movie, John Cusack, where the whole world blows up. 2012? 2012.

There's one guy on the radio that stays. Yeah, and it's like the whole world's willing. They're like, come on. He goes, no. And he's recording to the last second. It's Brian. He goes, just me left. He goes, hello, folks, and hey, bear. Very serious, not a fun one. Hello, folks, and hey, bear. This is a distraught podcast, Nate Land podcast.

Nate's dead. Aaron's dead. As you can see, Dusty's dead. Dusty. Now Dusty went up early. We don't know where Dusty's at. We got two thumps of a tree hump.

We know he's near, but he's a quarter acre near us, but we can't find him. I lost you guys. I actually don't know what's going on right now. We're talking about Bates doing the podcast during the apocalypse. Oh, okay. Yes, we heard of Dusty. Oh, yeah.

Hit the side of a gutter five times. No, I'd be long gone. And if the rapture's real, I'd be out of here. I don't know about you guys. Well, the rapture, we're trying to have a fun time. Well, you said the apocalypse. Yeah, but I think the rapture's like, we all would be gone. Well, we hope. You're right. Yes. We'll see. But the rapture's like, yes. But it's just being a little bit funner. Oh, okay. Because I say the rapture, are you going to have fun with it? Are you going to go, no, I'd be gone. So no fun at all.

Well, I mean, fun for me. I understand. A lot of fun for me. For the people that are living and probably listening that's not going to make it. Well, then it would be the same if it was just the apocalypse for all of us. The people who wear shorts to church. Yeah, exactly. They go, God doesn't care what you wear. And he goes, well, what do you think now, buddy? Yeah.

Go into our short section. Yeah. Into heaven. The bottom line is Dusty and I held down the fort, and now Dusty's taking a little break from his podcast, so will you be willing to fill in on his podcast? Oh, yeah. On yours? You and your wife? Yeah, do mine. No, just me now. She already quit, too. Oh. Did she really? Yeah.

Why just, you bet you... She's quit several times. This is nothing. She always comes back. I bet I could get her back. Probably a little fresh look, you know? Yeah. Like she'd be, yeah. Get someone else in there. Yeah. Let's change it up. Talk about something different.

Imagine, I feel like you and your wife's conversations are the same, same, same podcast, still the same. They get up, same, same, same. Like there's no, there's just, the only difference is you go, hey, well, this is the Dusty podcast. That's the only difference. The rest of the conversation is. Yeah, that's about right. You press record. Yeah. Just keep going. You never go save it for the podcast. It's just, no, that's what we're doing. You go, we could do it now. Yeah, we'll say it again. We could do it at any time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Yeah.

Sometimes my kid comes in. She gets on the podcast. Daisy. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. That's fun. Talk to her about Paw Patrol and stuff. Yeah. Are you back to collecting leaves? Because I had some fans. Well, leaves have just started to fall. I mean, I'll take them. I don't know that I'm going to go leaf crazy like last year because my whole plan for the leaves last year didn't really pan out the way I wanted it to pan out. I'll still take leaves because I got some other ideas I could use them for, but...

I'm not going to be raking other people's yards this year. Okay. Yeah. Last year was... I went crazy. Your career's in a different place this year too, right? Yeah. You can't be out here raking other people's yards. Do you think that's what's hard is if you're a prepper being successful?

Probably hurts a little bit. Well, you know, I don't know. You make enough money, you get somebody else to wreck the lives. I know, but I'm saying you don't have the oomph. I feel like as a prepper, I'm not saying it, but I would think if you're like the guys that sell a TV show about being preppers, right? Yeah. So they're like legit, like way into it. But then once you sell a TV show and start making some money, I bet they –

I bet if you went over there, they're like, you know, it's a lot of like, oh, what's the, you're like, oh, down there's the, you know, like underground thing. It's just got clothes hanging down there. It's like an old treadmill. What do you got down there? Old treadmill, clothes hanging on it. I think if you're not successful, like the idea of the apocalypse, no rapture is exciting, right? Because you're like, nothing's going on for me.

If the world kind of ends and I'm ready. I'll be the star of the show all of a sudden. Right, but if you start being successful, you're like, well, I kind of want this to keep going here. Yeah. Now I'm just the weirdest guy in the neighborhood right now. But no one goes to being the most prepared. They become lazy. Not lazy, but a little like that little extra something's kind of missing because you're like, you know, I got a TV. It's a little bit. You don't have the passion for it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're kind of, which could be the downside. That's what's... Well, success, yeah. Success is... Makes you less prepared, I think. Yeah. Makes people lazy and then...

weakness comes in yeah you're gonna be not yeah well it's apocalypse did you yeah i know you might take take a step back in 2025 yeah you dig in the underground tunnel you're like let's do three stairs i don't want to go all the way down still feel pretty strong about my my preparation stuff though i feel good about what's going on yeah okay i'm ready to i'm ready to really build some stuff yeah

I think I need a place to go. Yeah. I don't have a place to go. That's step one. Step one is. Step two is you start furnishing it, but we'll work on the place. Where to go. Yeah. And how to get there, you know? Will you be able to get there? Mm-hmm. In the case of, I mean, if it happens, are you going to be able to jump in your car and get there?

You got to hope. Yeah. Because, well, it's electric or gas. Yeah. Or roadblocks or who knows? Yeah. Chaos out in the streets. Yeah. Yeah. North Carolina, the roads just washed away. Yeah. Interstate 40 is gone for a little bit. So you got to have a. Helicopter. Yeah. You need something. Helicopter or. Maybe a little boat. Donkey, something like that. Donkey would be good. Donkey. Maybe a fan boat. Yep. Yep. Yep.

That's what I think. Everybody hear you. Yeah, but you'll be scooting right on by. They'll hear you, but you'll be rolling out. Aaron, I know you've been- It's good to be back. There used to be a Walmart over there. I don't know what we're talking about. There used to be Walmart over there. You go, you know, that's how you tell. Yeah. I know you've been excited to tell us about True Nutrition. I have been. We've been waiting. I mean, we all love it. Nate got the Wii, the Wii.

Look, Nate got it. He'll tell you about it. He got the protein concentrate and loved it. So I got on there. I got the same thing. I was able to go in, customize it. Nate got chocolate. I went with chocolate peanut butter. I like to mix it up. You know what I mean? I'm not as bland as Nate is. That's the best part, getting to customize your own protein powder mix. Support for today's episode obviously comes from True Nutrition. It's no secret that many health supplements contain fillers and even harmful chemicals.

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You haven't missed a step on those ad reads. That felt good, dude. That felt real good. That's your first ad read as a father. Yeah, that's crazy. Does it mean something to you now? Because now that money's being used. That's true. Somebody depends on this. Someone depends on that. It's not just me out here in the world. I got somebody dependent on me. That is a crazy shift when you think about it. And if you're trying to prepare, get a bunch of protein. Stock up on protein. There you go. True nutrition.

I know we have a lot to talk about. Is it going to just lead into... Should I start the comments? Yeah, I want to talk about our weekend, if that's okay. Oh, yeah. Sure. Yeah. I guess we're holed off on baby and SNL. But go ahead. I had a hot weekend.

Well, I figured once we get into baby and SNL, it's going to go for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we do this all the time. No, no. Aaron hasn't been on here for six months, but good. Tell them where you're at. I had a hot weekend. I'm into it. Let me ask you this, though. If Vandy had beaten Texas... They've come back to our podcast here, Brian, and look what they're doing. I mean... I didn't even know Aaron was here until the ad read, but... I did go to the Vandy game. If Vandy would have beaten Texas, it would be...

That would have been today's episode. We would not have had time to get to that. I'll tell you what, it's the episode of when the fact that we lost by three.

It was a tough loss, but it was like a tough loss. You can say that. Yes. It wasn't like, oh, man. It was just a tough, straight-up tough loss. And I'm excited for the rest of our season. It was fun. It's crazy, man. I've just never seen anything like it. It just feels different, right? I mean, y'all are in the thick. I mean, you're in these games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to the game. They have this new end zone level. It's really great at Vanderbilt. They're setting it up very well.

very nice i told him i want to there's uh you know like you know like inter like the virginia tech inner sandman when they play inner sandman they walk out yeah i was like we need something like that at vandy i was like you might as well just poke around and they're like yeah just tell us i don't know if they really want me to or not but i'm gonna i'm started thinking on it like a like what like a tradition like a good you've earned a seat at the table at this point

Yeah, like what's a good that we could come out? The Nate Land theme. Yeah, the Nate Land themed, you know. Hello, folks. It's like what's, you know, a good way for us to enter the stadium for Vandy? We have the walk, you know, cross. So it's like you could show that, you know. It's like, you know, we could do something. Put a couple guys on horses, something like that. Something like that. You're thinking outside the box at this point.

That would be fun. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, something. But it was, yeah, fun little day. We fell out of the top 25. I figured that. I think if we were like 23, we would have stayed. I think at 23, we would have stayed. 25, I don't think you have a choice but to go out. I guess. We fell to 26. Still got 41 votes. Yeah, that's what I mean. First came out. Yeah. Yeah. And Texas fell one spot.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but now we go to Auburn where we should win. Isn't that crazy? We should. Auburn looked decent this past week. I didn't see how they did. They've been looking really bad. Things are down there.

That's Opelika. So where were you at this week? All right. Well, I did my Brian Bates and Friends show here. Dusty came and did that. Thank you. Yeah. Hot show. Hot show. I've done four of them now. Your dad was on it. You guys have done every one of them, so thank you. You've done one. You've done one. You've done two, so thank you very much for that. There's always a Bargatze on there, right? Bargatze on there. Stephen Bargatze was on the last one. No, but I've done two personally. Yeah. He's done as much as you guys combined. Combined. Get it together. Yeah.

Yeah. And then Friday night, I was in Lebanon, Pennsylvania at Lifeway Church. Shout out to Jesse Rothacker. You guys know Jesse. Jesse sent me some pics. He picked me up at the Philadelphia airport. From the shuttle. Well,

He lifted you in the air? I said he sent me some pics and Aaron gave me some side eye over here. He sent you some pictures of Bates at the show. Not private pics. I went to Jesse's house. He runs a reptile show, so you can only imagine what his house is like. Just an iguana going off your leg while you're just sitting there. He has a 75-pound python in his house.

just crazy just the yellow is it yellow no no it's a different you're like don't worry he won't squeeze you to death i know i said what do you tell your kids and they're like well they can't come in here unsupervised yeah okay so you got them contained to a room at least they're in his garage and but you know he opens the cage just like your joke and the thing just kind of starts yeah it's coming out and just push it it's just it's common for him but i was like

That's wild. But the show was great. Thank you, Jesse, for hooking me up on that. Yeah. A lot of fun. Nice. Yeah. Dusty? Oh, I did a corporate gig at the Grand Hyatt on Thursday here in Nashville. It was hot. Bunch of financial guys. I came out. I go, I'm a bit of a financial guy myself. I just financed a couch.

And hot, hot job. Yeah, that's a good one. And yeah, and that was a hot show. Then I went to Memphis, big Tennessee week for me. And I went to Memphis, Tennessee, Minglewood Hall. Ten years ago, I featured for Todd Berry there. Now I'm headlining the same class. Hot show. Then I went to Knoxville, Tennessee. First time I've been there since I filmed my special. And did the Knoxville Civic Center Auditorium. Hot show. Hot show.

And then I hung out with Henry Cho and Alex Valuto and my feature for the weekend, Zach Townsend. It was great. Then I went over to Kodak, Tennessee to a bit of a bird sanctuary with Whitney Cummings and Zach Townsend and a musician named Gail. And we hung out, looked at some eagles and...

I threw a little basketballs to a, a Raven. And I saw that we watched, uh, these birds eat a lot of rats. That's what they feed them. They have rats in a cup and they just throw a little rats out and it's pretty disgusting, but, uh, a lot of fun. Wow. That's a lot. Just wrapping it up quick for you. No, I appreciate it. I mean, that's exciting. So hot Tennessee tour, the, uh, easier to drive tour.

Well, it would have been easier to fly if they would make a good route from Memphis to Knoxville. Well, sure. That's true anywhere. Look at that with a bald eagle right there. Where was Whitney at? She was in Nashville on Saturday. She did TPAC, right? Yeah. Bald eagles are so much bigger than you think they're going to be. I mean, they're massive. Huge. Yeah. They had an owl out there. They had a bunch of vultures. I saw a 39-year-old turkey vulture at the very end here.

The last pick. 39 years old? 39 years old that thing is. It looks every bit of it, too, man. I think I threw 39 Thanksgivings. But this is out in Kodak, Tennessee, just north of Pigeon Forge. Okay. Yeah, it's great. It's a hot spot.

Yeah, you and Whitney really bond over animals, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. Birds, we're into it. Yeah. I mean, I just happened to be in Knoxville, so it worked out great for me. 20-minute drive. I went over to... She was going up there to see them? Yeah. Or she was in Knoxville too? No, she was going there to see that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. What about you, Aaron? Yeah.

I've been all over. Well, not really. Did you make a joke, Brian, that I went to the Braves game right after my kid was born? I got kind of a nasty message talking about how selfish I was to go. I mean, I thought I clearly said I was joking. I'm sure it was obviously a joke on the podcast. I have not been. I was at the opposite. It was a Reds game. That's right. I've been to the opposite of a Braves game. Our kid was born September 28th.

We were in the NICU for three weeks. A month ago today. What's that? A month ago today.

That's true. She's been home for a week now. So you're missing the first birthday. Yeah. First month. Not even a year. Bates is like someone's mom that just goes, month ago today. Yeah, I get it. All right. Yeah. You did your first SNL one year ago today. That's crazy. That is crazy. That was a fun one to remember. You know what? I was just thinking my mom always does this. She knows everybody's...

Any day, she's like, that's a ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Tennessee Kid, six years ago. Today? Yesterday. Really? Yeah. Well, because of Facebook. You're seeing this on Facebook. Yeah. Yeah. And I keep a journal. Tennessee Kid was six years ago? Six years ago. I thought it was longer than that. I watched it on John Chris tour bus when it came out. Yeah. I remember that night. Six years ago. Hmm. Yeah. It was right before you turned 40. Yeah. Because it didn't come out right on your 40th birthday. I'm 45. Yeah.

I know, but didn't it come out on your 40th birthday? I think so. Right around then? Maybe. Yeah. Six years ago. I taped it six years ago? Okay. So then it came out... In March, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. So right on my 40th. So I taped it at 39. Yeah. Okay. Wow. I hear it's a great special. Thanks, man. Yeah. This guy's got some stuff. Yeah. He's got some jokes. People talk about it a lot.

They love that special. Anyway. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My wife went to your house on Saturday. She did. She brought a chicken pot pie. She said Aaron looks exhausted. That's what she said. But you look good here. Thanks, dude. Yeah. It's been a pretty...

emotionally confusing three weeks. Obviously, your kid's born. You're super excited. And then right away, they took her to the NICU where she was there for three weeks, hooked up to monitors and beeping and babies crying. And we basically lived there for three weeks nonstop. So we got her home, though. We got her home. She's been home for a week now.

it was obviously terrifying the first three weeks she's hooked up to these monitors and you know what her heart rate is at every given second and then all of a sudden they go all right you're good it's insane they let you just walk out with the kid yeah so she's been home for a week i feel like it's less nerve-wracking now we're easing into it but uh is her weight up and she's it's getting there man yeah it's getting there things are good things get not to get

Super serious. Right into it. But like your suffering gets put into perspective pretty quickly. Yeah. In the NICU. Like we were so lucky in a lot of ways. We met families that had been there way longer than us that weren't able to hold their kid. Yeah. And I saw a family –

who lost their kid there. And for whatever reason, we got to leave with our, I remember we got brought there. My first thought very selfishly was like, what did we do to deserve this? You have thoughts like that. And then when we got to leave with her, like I thought the same thing, which is just crazy. But everybody's doing great now. Mom's doing great. Baby's doing great. We're excited.

Things are awesome. I want to thank everybody. So many people reached out, especially to my wife. She wanted me to thank everybody. People were really great to her who had their own experiences at the hospital and stuff. So,

We're all good. Now all we got to do is raise a kid. Yeah. You know, so we got through that. And that was the easy part. That's right. So I got to see baby Olive briefly. Brian came by the hospital. Got to see Aaron in action as a dad, doing a great job. You were in our little FEMA tent. We got moved all around. Some rooms are pretty luxurious in there. Some rooms are.

You're walled off with a shower curtain. I try to stay out of your way, but I'm glad a giant baby came down there to get more in the way. I didn't even ask. Sir, he's in a – sorry about that. Sir, I think you're in the wrong building. Hey, buddy. She's cute. It's been pretty wild, man. So things seem to calm down a little bit.

And we don't know the full big picture about her health yet. Like it's possible she might have some,

you know some challenges getting back up to speed but we can do it we want to do it and uh it's going to be great it already is great so thank you it will be the strongest kid ever yeah that's the wonderful thing yeah for sure yeah for sure and what is she going as for halloween we got lucy got our little lion costume that's fun she's just now like a borderline she was born early

And she was small. So she's just now getting into newborn sizes. So Lucy's pretty excited putting all these costumes and stuff on her. But it's great, man. It's awesome. Yeah, I mean, how great is a newborn baby? It's the best. It's the best. Yeah. You got to be easy with that beard. That's true. Yeah. I didn't think about that. Oh, you didn't? Yeah. That's why she's in the NICU. Yeah. What did we do to deserve this? Because of the big, giant...

No. I think they know how to do it. I've rubbed on Harper's face. But I'm joking. Anyway. It is wild that they walk you down to make sure you have a car seat.

And then they just let you go. You're just like driving away from the hospital for the first time with a baby. We're like, oh man, we got a baby. The thing is, you're not buying it there. You brought it in there. That's true. So they are...

I just thought of this right now because you think that too, but in their mentality, they're like, we're shocked you came in here. We just would like you to get out of here. Well, I don't want them to have any responsibility over my kid. As far as I'm concerned, you shouldn't even be able to tell me I need a car seat. Did you turn your car seat around as soon as you left? No, no. I did. I think they should be allowed to tell your kid how to vote. Is that...

Is that too much, though? You know, the weird thing is we looked it up. Like, legally, at any given moment, I could have just grabbed my kid and ran out of that hospital. Yeah. Like, legally, I'm allowed to do that. Now, I'd probably get a visit from Child Protective Services pretty quickly. You would? If you do, that doesn't sound like you're legally allowed to live. I would have got a visit from them, but I'm saying it would have been insane for me to do that, obviously. But legally, I was allowed to do that. But you know when you see someone get out of, like, when they're –

They rip all their stuff off their chest and they leave a hospital. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I guess you could do that. You could. Yeah. You could just grab your baby. So they brought the car seat up. I had to put the baby in the car seat. She had to sit there for 90 minutes to pass the car seat test. Wow. So they had all the monitors up. So they're like, we got to get her in the car seat to make sure that the position of it, like her heart rate won't drop or anything like that. Her breathing rate's going to stay the same. Yeah.

Was this in the car? No, this is in our hospital room. I picture they got to go. The doctor goes, where's your car? He's got the baby and a couple things. You're like, y'all got to sit out in that car for 90 minutes. Nobody came out to the car. They were just like, it was last Saturday. We got in there at like 9, and they're like, all right, around noon, y'all can leave. I guess if the car seat's in the hospital, they know you have it.

Yeah. So they made her sit. She passed it. And then, man, some of these families, they'll get ready to leave, and then they fail that car seat test and have to stay in there. You still got to lock it into the base, though, once you get down to your car. Yeah. That's true. But the technology is pretty good now. It just kind of pops in there. Yeah. I think they're just like, we got to make sure you have it. How'd you drive home? Were you...

terrified the whole time that not that i would get in a wreck but that the car seat was strangling you know what i mean i have no idea the kid can't communicate yeah did you stop at chipotle

Yeah, have you been through a drive-thru with the baby in the back? No. No, you haven't. No, that baby has not left the house since we got her. I know. Was she on the drive home? On the drive home. I was trying to get her a home, man. Yeah. You didn't go, oh, I'm getting nervous. Let's take a break. Let me get a burrito. I'll leave the AC on. Yeah. Let me get a burrito bowl. Yeah, just do a drive-thru. Yeah. You know, go through Culver's. Culver's.

Something a little classier. Yeah. Culver's at least. Yeah. Go to Culver's. Yeah. Culver's drive-thru. You got to have a nice car to get to that drive-thru. Yeah. They don't let anybody through there. You got to go through Martyr to get that, to get Culver's. There is one by my house. Culver's? It is right there in Mount Julia. Yeah. I've only ate there once. I didn't really know about it. Frozen custard, not ice cream. It's like a different, different thing. Yeah. Anyway, it's been a, it's been a, yeah, dude, I'm pretty tired. Yeah. I'm pretty tired. How's the sleep schedule?

We're got, I mean, kids got to be fed every three hours. So it's like, we're trying to figure out a routine and I'm, and you know, I don't get back on the road really full time till like January. So we've got a few months to, to, you know, for Lucy to take over all the responsibilities. You know, I'm just kidding. You know what would help you late at night? Mountain Dew. That's crazy. Right.

You just interrupted such a serious moment to transition me to a Mountain Dew ad. That's what I love about Nate Land right there. You know what we all need to get more of? You should drink some Mountain Dew. Get off your butt to get into some action. And it's fun to do that with Mountain Dew, the drink. With bold flavors and a refreshing citrus kick. You know about that kick, Dusty. Mountain Dew will get you off the sofa and have you feeling like you're charging up the side of an actual mountain.

A mountain where the weather's perfect. Your friends are ready to hang and a full day of epic games are happening. Can you imagine?

Yeah. Check out all these flavors. Original Baja Blast. I've got Baja Blast right here. Code Red. Voltage. My personal favorite is the Baja Blast. I remember this used to only be at Taco Bell. Wow. And look at the timeline we live in now. You can get Baja Blast wherever you can get Mountain Dew. When we go on tour, especially with Nate, we love to play games. If we're performing in an arena, there's always a basketball goal around. Those games get pretty serious pretty fast. Having a refreshing Mountain Dew afterwards is...

It's always the best part. Look how excited Dusty got to drink that Mountain Dew. He spilled it all over his lap. The mountain is calling. You should answer. Grab your friends. Grab an ice cold Mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold and do the Dew. All right. I'm sorry for calling you out, Brian. That was fun to read. We did need to get to that Mountain Dew. Yeah, we did. That's exciting stuff. That's exciting stuff, man. Sorry about that. I think Tristan's going to get something for me. Okay. Oh, wow.

Everything's fine, guys. Okay. This is not my first time. Thank you. It's not the first time I've spilled something on myself. It is really good. Anyway. Have you done it? So when was the last time you went on stage? I did the open mic last week and I had a corporate Thursday night. Oh, okay. And then I've got a corporate tonight. So I'm... Yeah. Yeah. You're still raking in the day. I didn't feel doing the corporate.

First 15 minutes felt great. And then I started to feel a little fatigue. Yeah, that's what's crazy. There is a fatigue to it.

Like when you don't go up and you can feel yourself, it's almost like mentally it's, you know, it's like, it's not like you're like standing and talking to it, but it's having to remain focused that long is you feel yourself go like, man, I'm having to power through this. Yeah. Yeah. I felt it. I felt that I hadn't gone up. That was the longest I hadn't done stand up since I started. I looked it up.

That was the longest I'd gone. Even COVID, we were back at it pretty quick. Did you have a panic moment? What do you mean a panic? I don't know. I feel like if you did not do stand-up for a while, you'd be up there and have a quick moment of like, gosh, I'm going to be up here another 40 minutes. And you have a little quick panic moment, and then you just get back in gear. Luckily, that gig was great. They were awesome. That was a good first show back. I've done some corporates where it's like they're not going well in the beginning, and you're like,

I got 55 more minutes. You have a little rush of anxiety real fast. You're nervous about doing a set that short? Yeah. I don't even get time to stretch out. You're like, I'm not even going to get into this. Look at that. Everybody's got a baby. Everybody's got a girl.

yeah i have a son too that's true yeah yeah that's true yeah that is kind of crazy everybody's a good girl started this podcast i was the only one with a child that's crazy yeah that's crazy man i don't even think i'm not i joined with a kid but uh you joined with a kid but i'm not the oldest and i was the only one with the yeah i started this podcast at 40 how old was it 42 probably yeah three yeah

We've been doing it four years, so. Yeah. Yeah, you're probably 41. Yeah. Crazy. I had a, my daughter at 39 and then the next week I turned 40. Mm-hmm. I got after it earlier than y'all. Yeah. I announced it on my 50th birthday. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're not going to

Last time he whacked his back. It's good to see him. He's a chiropractor. He gets a little nervous. Yeah. A little jumpy. Yeah. How was SNL? I watched it. Watched it at the hospital. Oh, yeah. It was pretty awesome. Yeah. One of our nurses went to your high school. Okay. And was like, dropped your name. Yeah. Yeah.

because i she said what do y'all do i said she was like this guy now she was younger like 20 years old but she's like this famous comedian nate bargetze went to went to my high school i was like i heard that guy stinks yeah she's like he's all right but uh yeah we watched yeah we watched that's another that was awesome yeah we got summit hospital yeah yeah vanderbilt vanderbilt yeah dude

That's where the money goes. I was born at Baptist Hospital. Where were you? You were born two clicks over from where Jesus was born. Two clicks outside of Bethlehem. There was no room in the air for Jesus because I'd take it up a whole floor. Bait screw. You got to get there early. You got to get there early. I mean, Joseph knew about this census. Why is he waiting last minute?

I was born at McFarland Hospital in Lebanon. It's no longer there. I know that's a shocker. Crumbled, man. Your daughter was almost born in Lebanon, right? That's true, but then she had some complications at the end. They were like, we might need to put her in a real hospital. So we did it at Vanderbilt. They said that about me, too. But it'll stay here. Which is like a lot of things. I don't know if you remember the day I did the special. Lucy was at the hospital. And because of that, they were like, we should have the baby at Vanderbilt.

Which, thank God that happened, because it would have had to have been an ambulance ride from Lebanon to Vanderbilt downtown. Yeah. So a lot of chips fell into place before all of this. The right way. Yeah, everything worked out as good as it could have. You were going in at 11.30 p.m. Yeah. I texted Lucy at 11.45, how's my ticket count? I'm already over 22nd.

Did she respond? I thought it was a great joke. Break the ice. That's funny. I hear nothing. The next day, because it was, what, three days before you guys delivered? Yeah. The next day, I still hear nothing. I'm like, oh, man. That joke's really bombing. I hope everything's okay. And then, yeah, I think we were all nervous for it. The three of us were texting, hey, have you heard anything from Aaron? And so we were all so relieved when we heard from you. Yeah. Thanks, man. You end up doing a C-section, which is just – it was all –

Birth is wild. It's wild. Yeah. I did, you know, as the guy, you feel so helpless. You're just like, there's nothing you can do. And you're just standing around. So like, I remember Lucy was, we were in like the thick of labor. Like, we're pushing, right? And I had nothing, I don't know what to say to Lucy. So I just go, I like lean in. I go, hey.

I'm with you the whole time. And she looks at me and goes, that's not moving the needle for me at all right now. All right. That's the least you could expect. That's all I had. I'll just stand here. Just in case you thought I was leaving early. Yeah, she goes, it'd be insane if you left. Obviously, you're going to be here. All right. Well, I wanted to say it out loud. I will be here the whole time. Sometimes it's good to, you know. Yeah, it is...

You know, well, yeah, you can't be like, all right, go get them. Yeah. There's nothing. It's like a spot. You're doing great. Like at a weight, like you're spotting someone at the weight at the gym. Yes. Come on. Let's go. You can do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, yeah, you just kind of go.

yeah you're like i'm here yeah it's crazy you need some ice cubes i'll run and get you some unbelievable what's happening i think it's that it's like a lot of like this is on this is insane what's happening yeah yeah this is you know yeah it's uh it's a miracle yeah it really is really is yeah it's awesome well we're glad you're back should we start with the comments i'm kidding where have you started you guys comment tell us about sdl well i want to hear yeah yeah yeah

Yeah, I think people wanted to hear that. We wanted the news of you. It's a baby. You will be gone next week. I'm back for good now. See, he really likes Mountain Dew. Yeah, I was trying to watch. He really drank it. Yeah. Yeah. No juice. I don't think anyone doubts that anybody in this podcast would drink a Mountain Dew. No. No.

I was just talking about that. We were talking about that with politicians because they do stuff sometimes, or anybody, even actors or anybody that could be high up or whatever, and they just can't ever say anything. If you go to McDonald's, you're like, what's the number one? And they're like, they don't know how to do it. And you're like, some people, you're like, where have you grown up? Yeah, yeah. Have you not been around people?

Just basic stuff. Well, a lot of the politicians have really grown up in these wealthy kind of thing. Yeah, I guess. But it's okay if they did. Just don't pretend like you didn't. Don't pretend like you're all folksy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what's annoying. That's what would be, yeah. But I'm always blown away that sometimes I feel like you're like, you don't know. Like there's no...

They don't know the language. And they don't really live in our reality. Yeah, yeah. It's a completely different. We're little science experiments for them. Yeah. They go, give them this. See what that does to them. Yeah. That's what we are to them. All right. Let them get it out a little bit. They go, eat. We got a walk dog in a little bit. They go, eat some of that. Yeah, eat some of that. Look at him. Look at him. Look at him. He loves it. All right, get back inside. They're so sick. They're so sick.

They're all so sick. Look at them. All right, let's start with you guys' comments. KB. I miss Nate, Brian, Aaron, and Dusty when they aren't there, but the vibe carries the show. The Joe Rogan experience wouldn't work without Joe, but Nate's vision and selection of co-hosts is a recipe for success.

But can we at least get a picture of Holly on the set? Yeah. I don't think Holly's been into the studio, right? No. You don't take your dog's places around like people? Okay. No. Okay.

K-Bay. Right there. I would like, you know, it'd be fun to bring a dog down. You don't go as a family, sit on a patio, bring the dog, eat lunch somewhere? Mm-mm. You're not one of those families. No, I mean, I feel like you have to have a small dog. If you have a small dog, I feel like you can do it. That doesn't stop people, man. No, I know. I agree. Yeah. People bring their dogs out every... I think if you're going to a restaurant, you're like, we're going to go eat outside.

Sometimes like, you know, it's like, all right, maybe we'll go bring a dog like that. That's what you meant, right? Yeah, yeah, on a patio. Well, I think sometimes that's, but it's like, sometimes people are going to get ice cream and the point of it is you bring the dog and you sit out as, you know. Yeah, yeah. But yes, people are, they bring the dog. Yeah, everywhere. There you go. That was a good one that led right into SNL. We're going to ease into it. Holly on the set of SNL? Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Tyler Flink.

The past few weeks confirmed a theory of mine. The show isn't the same without Aaron. He's the glue guy that keeps the team together. The glue guy? I think it's just glue. Yeah. He's the glue. You're not the glue that keeps it together. You're the guy that puts the glue on. That's right. I'll sell the glue. The glue guy. Out of us, you're where glue would come from. Yeah.

Where did glue come from? Doesn't glue come from horses? The old glue guy. And you wear it in a white sweater, too. That's true. Like an Elmer's glue bottle, right?

They'll give him a red hat. Yeah. Yeah. Like a little orange comb. You could do that. That'd be a good Halloween. Yeah. Dress up like Elmer. You're already the shape of a glue bottle. Just put an orange hat on. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a hat. Yeah. Are y'all dressing up for Halloween? Do you guys have costumes? This year I'll be a Vanderbilt football coach, as I always am. Or a Titans head coach. I'll just see.

on which one's warmer you just dress like you're going to Kroger I dress as if and you're already I'm always dressed we won't uh we don't there's never I would we dressed up when Harper was little we'd go out like now Harper's she got her friends they take off and you know we sit at the stand the cul-de-sac and we just kind of sit there and

We meet so they don't come all the way up in this cul-de-sac. We put a table at the end of the cul-de-sac and everybody sits. We all sit out there. Oh, that's fun. And then they come up and yeah. You don't want them in your cul-de-sac. Don't come knocking on our doors. Scratching up my cars. We all sit there. Well, the first year we did do it, but it is like you're... You kind of end up that way...

We ended up walking around. We're going to walk around a little bit. Like, it's far. We got a really good neighborhood for it. Yeah. Yeah. It's very fun. I love Hollywood. You dressing up, Brian? We did trunk or treat yesterday with Eleanor. Is that where you go rummaging through people's trunks and see what they have?

That's what the church pretends to not celebrate Halloween. It's trunk or treat, guys. You follow old ladies back to the car from the grocery store and, ma'am, ma'am. We were the only ones doing it. Trunk or treat. Well, I'm sorry I mentioned it. No, what, did you dress up? Did you dress up? I didn't, no. Okay, but you dressed your baby up, dressed your kid up. Yeah, sexy nurse. Yeah. You win as a worried father.

Well, that is true. Yeah. No, she was a pirate. She was very cute. That's fun. We had a great time. Dusty, Halloween's what you make of it. I mean, you know. Yeah. I'll be praying that, you know, you guys get raptured out. Do you kids dress up at all or they don't? No, we don't. They don't even know about Halloween. Yeah. That's great that when like, it is crazy thing you do as a kid. You're like, they didn't have to know about it. Yeah. Yeah.

They get treats all the time. Yeah, they do get candy. Until they inevitably find out that it exists. Yeah, you're tricking them. Why didn't I? Do you ever think about that? Yeah.

And they'll go, why didn't you do that? And I go, well, because we don't worship ghouls and goblins and we don't dress up like them. That'll be the first day Dusty fights his son. Yeah. He goes, if you can wrestle me, you can dress up whatever you want to be. You can pin me and go Halloween. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'll go. I hope you get enough candy to live the rest of your life off of. Yeah.

John McDonald. Oh, McDonald. John McDonald. I normally don't agree with Dusty's conspiracy and viewpoints, but I also stayed at the True by Hilton in Springfield, Missouri and inexplicably could not sleep at all.

Now I'm rethinking my stance on Dusty. That's all I'm saying, guys. Everybody is like, oh, no, no. He doesn't know what he's talking about. But all it takes is a couple of things, and then you're like, yeah, I'm into that. I think it could be a blue light. It could be it's too modern. There's some kind of feel to it where it's hard to really get some sleep. Get comfortable. All the commenters agreed with you. Yeah. Yeah. There's a darkness in there. Mm-hmm.

John McDonald had a... That was my first joke that I did on stage. Thank you, John, by the way. Thank you, John. About the song Old MacDonald. Had a farm.

It's the past tense. What happened to that farm? Oh, yeah. I thought that was good stuff. Yeah, what happened to his farm? I don't know. Why are we singing about it? Bingo was his name. What? Oh, McDonald had a farm? Yeah. And then they start listing off everything he had that he lost. Oh, and Bingo was his name? There was a dog named... Oh, yeah. Yeah, something like that. And what is it? Oh, McDonald had a farm. Yeah.

And on his farm he had a horse. He had it. He had it. With a nay nay here and a nay nay there. Here a nay, there a nay. Everywhere a nay nay. He lost. I mean, we're losing family farms by the week. Well, that is true. And that's what happened. But it could be when they wrote this song, that guy would be gone. Maybe it is about one guy. Maybe he died. A guy. Okay.

So the song's about a person that's like, yeah, he's no longer here. It's all past tense. Maybe the government wrote the song right after they took his farm. Yeah, yeah. There you go. There you go. That's where you teach your daughter. Yeah. I like that. That's a great, that's probably what happened. Renee Learbag. Okay.

Lear Big. I wonder if you really... Lear Bag. I don't know if you really hang on that bag part. Yeah, hit bag. Hit the bag. Renee Lear Bag. Lear Big. I like the name. Lear Big? I don't know. I like that last name. Sounds like a bag you take on an airplane. Even if you say Lear Big. Yeah, even if you say Lear Big, she has to go Lear Bag. Yeah. She has to say it like that. Mm-hmm.

I recently had my second baby, and when the anesthesiologist came in to give me the dreaded epidural, I immediately asked him to hold on while I could put my earbuds in so I could tune into the Nateland podcast. When my delivery doctor got whined, got whined, I was like, whined, damn, whined.

That's a sentence that when I said wind, I go, well, she doesn't know how to finish this sentence. I blamed her. Yeah. Not me. Leer bag, you know, come on. Yeah. When my delivery doctor got wind that I'm a Nate Land fan, we bonded. In fact, when he pulled my baby into the world after 20 hours of labor and emergency selection, he yelled, hello, folks, which made me laugh through my tears. Oh, that's awesome. Look at that. That's really cool. That's very cool. Did you do that?

Did you say hay bear? Did you give us a nice hay bear when the baby was born? Maybe any one of these people should have been focused in on what was going on instead of listening to the podcast. And they might have 20 hours. How many episodes? I bet we need to do it. I bet it was pre-Dusty episode. Isn't like an epidural too? They would be like, we don't need you to move at all. Yeah, they're shooting it into your spine. Maybe it's like the podcast is not that funny. Yeah, it's like this is when I'm the most serious.

Go ahead. I have no emotions when I listen to this. Showing this is after Dusty was asked to be on. I think there's fentanyl in there, in the epidural. Yeah, probably. Maybe. I heard that. Something like that. I'll tell you, it works. Amazing how quickly it works. It's something like that. Yeah.

Yeah, Hannah did one on there first. Did you leave the, you have to leave the room. So they were like, we're doing a C, they were like, we can't tell you to do a C-section, but you know, we should probably do it. But they go, so I go, we go, wink, wink, wink, wink. Let's do it. As soon as I said, let's do it, they're like, thank God. Okay, that's the right, like we need, you've made no progress in two and a half hours. No, Lucy was, yeah. In two and a half hours? No. Y'all gave it a good, you gave it a good,

You made no progress in 30 minutes, so let's... It was three hours of pushing, and then they were finally like, let's do it. It's getting nowhere. Then I tucked her. They got her out of the room. Then I'm just standing in a room alone for like 15 minutes, and then they came and got me. Did they think you were pregnant? Was there a moment where they were not looking up? They just were looking...

down baby's coming they walked into the go which one yeah you never know you never know now they go that's true they go we're vanderbilt yeah that's the doctor's walking rooms down they go yeah who's pregnant we don't want to assume anything yeah who's pregnant they uh that's the most common surgery in america c-section is oh really what they said did they ask you if you wanted to watch it

They didn't give me a choice. I would have turned it down. So I'm behind the curtain with her. They gave me a choice, and I turned it down. I don't know why I would not want to see that. Especially because she's awake. She's conscious the whole time. I'm not trying to see. It's crazy. Then you know all her secrets. Peel back the onion. So what was in there, Lucy? Ryan Keane.

Nate has a Harper. I have a Harper. Breakfast has an Eleanor. I have an Eleanor. Weber now has an Olive, and I have an Olive. Oliver. Oliver. Congratulations, AA Ron and Lucy. Love the podcast. Love the laughs. Tolerate the rants and conspiracies. I'm glad you didn't name any of your kids after mine. Mm-hmm.

I don't think she named her kids after her. I think it's a guy here. I don't think Ryan named his kid after her. It's just a fun coincidence. Well, tolerates the rants and conspiracies. I mean, it's like, man, okay. Just say you tolerate Nate and Dusty. Yeah. Just say you like it. Just admit that you like it, Ryan King. He did say it. You do like it. He loves the laughs. Yeah, tolerate the rants and the conspiracies. I get it. He likes it all. Yeah. He likes it all. He's missed it. Yeah. He got a little bit today. Uh...

Brandy Hobbert. Hobert. Hobear. Hibear. Heybear. This could be a Brandy Heybear. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty fun. Heybear. Brandy Heybear.

On Late Night with Seth Meyers, Nate mentioned a sketch that had to be cut for the first time he did the show, but he hoped would make it this time. I was wondering if it did and which one it was. They were all great. I could watch Waterslide and George Washington on repeat. It was Coach Allen. The one I talked about on Seth Meyers was Coach Allen, and it didn't make it to – it was like a pitch. I don't remember if it even got written.

the first time when I did it, but I loved the idea of it. And Coach Allen was the last sketch that we did. The only thing that was, we were a little bit, if I had to redo my set on SNL,

if I could have done it differently, it's funny. You start seeing like the monologue monologue is not as a standup. It's all about the monologue. And now like this one I've learned like, Oh, it's, I wish I wouldn't have done any of the extra virgin olive oil and like some of that stuff. And I would have just told the door dash story. If I could, if I could go back now, I would have just told that door dash story. Cause then even time-wise it would have worked perfectly where we could have done a coach Allen, um,

Coach Allen was done great, but it was a little sped up. It was kind of like, do it with purpose. There wasn't a ton. We didn't know if we were going to do it, which I still loved. I thought it was very funny to have a coach just wanting $20 for jerseys. But we didn't know if we wanted – I didn't know if I was getting ready to dress for –

uh the good nights or if we were like gonna go do the coach allen i was hoping we tried and we were able to do the coach allen uh but yeah that that's the one that i was like that was very funny that i want to do and the water slide was water slide was one they said they tried to do it michael longfellow wrote it uh he was the one standing next to me as an emt and it was a stand-up bit of his yes originally right yeah yeah and so they uh

I think they tried to do it a couple years ago. And it is a delicate one because it's like someone's dead. So you have to be like, well, how do you ride that line and make it funny? But it was one that you're like, everybody wanted that one to go. We all were like, man. I mean, when I went up to... We went to Lauren's office and we're kind of after the dress rehearsal. I'm going to the...

and we're picking what's going to be on the live show. You know, he's looking at you and I'm like, kind of, you know, we're all kind of going over and I'm here. I'm just going to like, I kind of hope water slide. He goes, don't worry. Water slides in. I was like, Oh, okay. Cause it was like every, like we all knew like that's one. It's like, it just has to be, it's such a funny idea, but if it's not done right, it can be mean. It can be not fun. It can be a lot of things. So, uh,

Fortunately, that one, we were able to figure out how to do it in a way that was fun. But yeah, Coach Allen was the one that I was glad that that was back in there.

I think I heard you say on Fly Over the Wall podcast, it was like 12.56 in their lights. One more sketch and the good nights. Yeah, one more sketch and the good nights. So you didn't know until then whether you were going to do it? You're knowing it as... Whoa. I mean, so I guess it's... Was there a sketch of Coldplay? Maybe Coldplay was playing and then it was... I think it was the... What's his name? I just draw a blank. The digital short. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was the digital short.

And then we were sitting there waiting. Andy Samberg. The Lonely Island song. The Lonely Island song. And then so we were sitting there waiting like, you know, what am I wearing? Am I getting what I'm wearing to good nights on or am I putting this costume playing a coach?

And so we're just like – you just kind of sit there and you wait until it's – you just wait. And you're like, I don't know. I don't know. And they go, all right, Coach Allen. See, I started getting more Coach Allen ready just because I think it was a little bit more to put on. Or, you know, it wasn't that much more to put on. But it was like you just had everything ready and then you're, you know, were able to go do it. I think if there was –

If I didn't have... If I had too big of a costume change, we couldn't have done it. But because it was just that... Was it easier to get fitted this time? Since your second time? Yeah, because they just have your sizes and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Everything was kind of like... Yeah, I don't... Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, everything was like pretty much exact. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, this, yeah, it was, oh, this time was, yeah, it was the second time. I mean, I just keep going comments and then it gets into it. Yeah, why don't you tell us about Bombas? Bombas. I like Bombas. I have Bombas. Fall is here.

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Now, with the George Washington sketch, were you nervous about repeating it? Yes. Such a classic sketch. Yeah, I was. I mean, at first I was like, I don't know. When they first brought it up, they already had the idea written, Streeter and Mikey. And I was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know if I want to do it. My buddy Shaki was like,

It's the only thing he said. He goes, don't do another George Washington. And so then I was thinking about that. I was like, I don't know if I want to try to top it. And then when we read, they had one. And then when we read it, when I read it, I like I got a different vision of it. And I was like, oh, we can do it again because it's not it's the good thing about the first one is it wasn't it's not about what George Washington is talking about. It's kind of George Washington.

Like, that's the fun part is the George Washington character with his men. Like, the jokes are funny, which adds to it. But the George Washington's like kind of like a fun thing. And so then when I read the second one, I was like, oh, this is like I was like, yeah, we could do this again. And this does feel very different. And so.

I thought it was great. I thought it was very different. I thought it was fun. And then it was like, yeah, it did great. And, uh, I think they even haven't, you know, I think they got ideas for other ones. Uh, it was fun watching it. Cause now you're in on the joke as a viewer. You understand the format. Yeah. I was saying nobody knows with you. I just felt it coming. So it was fun. People applauded when it first started. Yeah. When it first started, he got a big applause. Uh,

Yeah, saying nobody knows. I mean, that's what a character is. It feels like a real character. It wasn't the formula.

which is the good thing. It's like, if their formula is so great, which adds everything to it, but it wouldn't have been able to work a second time if it wasn't for just, it made it very different. It felt different. Those guys are just so good. As we're doing this Christmas special, they're doing that with me. December 19th, CBS.

And like, they're just, they're writing sketches and they're writing sketches. And this, we have some very funny sketches. We already pre-taped some of them, but it's just very funny. And like, they're, they're just really great. And for, I mean, for me, they're great at everything.

But, I mean, they are – They got your voice. They got my voice. Yeah. Like, I mean, it is great. Brian sent me these. Have you seen that this has become a pretty widespread meme all across Twitter? Yeah.

This is like a new format for a joke. They got a picture of you and George Washington. This is the Durham Bulls posted one. We'll call it the World Series because teams from around the world participate, sir. Actually, it's teams from just one country, except there's sometimes a Canadian team. That's funny. And then, yeah, like the Raleigh Airport posted it. JJ Watt just posted one. Oh, really? Yeah, like a couple hours ago. Oh, really? Right here. Yeah, it's cool. It's become a popular meme format. Yeah.

His is not very funny, to be honest with you. Is it not? We call it running the best, sir. But isn't football a rough sport, sir? Very. I think that's right. But in this case, too high. Flag, too late. I think I'm reading it wrong, but it varies. But in this case, too high, flag. Too low, flag. Too late, flag. So if they time it perfectly, they can hit it in the midsection. Depends. If they do it softly, maybe. Too hard, maybe.

It's a good joke he's putting out to the other defensive guys. And how about this? What is a catch? Nobody knows. What is a catch? Nobody knows. That's great. What is a catch? Nobody knows. Yeah, you don't like it as a fellow. Do you think he made it farther than you and you're upset about that in football? Do I think J.J. Watt made it farther than me? Yeah. That's debatable. I'd say it's a toss-up, but I think. Were you the J.J. Watt of Hendersonville? No.

Were you close? No, I wasn't in the conversation. Could you beat J.J. Watt in the 40? He couldn't beat me in the 40. How old is he now? He's old, old. He's an old man. I don't think he's that much older than me, though. I think he'd still beat you. Of course he would. I'm talking about how much in the future. Of course he would. How much in the future would he? Yeah. I could maybe beat him if he's 80 and I'm 68. He has had some injuries. Yeah. Yeah, I still like his chances, though.

Hall of Fame athlete. One of the best of all time. Yeah.

Yeah, he could probably still be playing in the NFL. Yeah, and comedy's not his thing, but I like what he's doing here. Football's out of control now. What do you mean? I don't even watch it now. The NFL is out of control. So many great games yesterday. You get Red Zone, it's crazy how all the games are good sometimes. Well, if you're watching Red Zone, you're only seeing the key moments. You're only seeing the good stuff. Why don't you go sit in the thick of it with the rest of us and watch all the nonsense?

You're over there watching the fun part of the game. I watched every snap of Notre Dame Navy, dude. Man, Notre Dame. College is still good. Yeah, college is unbelievable. If it wasn't for that one screw-up, they'd be, what, top three? Yeah, probably. That one loss to NIU. We shut down those service academies, dude. The military. We've got to put them in their place. Because y'all are the captains, kind of. Is that what it is? Notre Dame? Y'all are the generals. Do they come from Notre Dame?

No, they come from West Point and the Naval Academy. Yeah, so what does Notre Dame... Y'all are the ones that get in the way of the military. That's right, yeah. That's where they pick the Pope. Oh, yeah. Y'all do the Pope stuff. Warner McDonald. Nate, when you get back, please tell us what it was like hanging out with Coldplay. It was great. I am now two for two on...

Both musical guests, Dave Grohl and Chris Martin, said, they both told me separately, they both said, when I first met you, I thought this episode's going to be terrible. They both said that. And then when I saw you, I was like, they were like, you're my favorite comedian. And then you were like, have you listened to your music lately? Yeah.

I listen to Coldplay all the time. Yeah, I love Coldplay. He used to walk out to Coldplay. Yeah. That's very funny. Chris Martin said, I saw your first episode. I thought this was going to be the best. No, no. He meant... And it was the same thing because it is. I think when you meet me, you're like, man, this is not going to be great. It's going to be this. Yeah. You know? And so you're not like a fun... And then you're like, I'm saving it all for...

Saving it up for all out there. That's right. I bring the heat when the heat needs to be brought. And we were all yellow, you know? Yeah. Yeah, he was... I talked about Seth Meyers, too, because he told me after we did... The first time we met, we were doing... He was very, very nice. The first time we met, like, super... We talked at the after party. I mean, he was just, like, a very, like... Like, just a very, really, really nice person and, like, kind of...

would be like, man, you did so good and blah, whatever. He wanted me to come out. He's like, are they coming to Tennessee or something? I guess when they come here next. Doing Bridgestone, I think. Or not Bridgestone. Nissan. Nissan, yeah. Yeah. It was like, they were like, do you want, he was like, should you come out and do like open? And I was like, yeah. I go, absolutely not. I go, that would be, he goes, it'd be great. I go, it would be terrible. No one, everybody wants to see you. Like, it's just not the environment.

for a 15-minute set. Extra virgin olive oil, oil, oil, oil. Yeah, it's not. Well, it's like, too, like no one's even there to see. Like, it's just not a good, you know, musicians tend to think that, why don't you just come on up and do this? And you go, because it's, we don't do the same thing. You know, I could, you could go up, it would need to be like, I go up with someone else to introduce you. It'd have to be something different.

And you're like, also, all the people at your show are depressed. I'm trying to bring laughter to people. Is that true? I don't know. I think Coldplay's sad. Coldplay's got some inspirational stuff, dude. I only listened to it. I thought they were a happy band. Oh. They got some sad stuff. Okay. Oh, I think everything's happy. Yeah. Well, the way I listen to it, it's all happy. There you go. Yeah. So it was, yeah, they were awesome.

Right before the first day we met, then he goes, do you need anything? He goes, hey, if you need stuff for your voice, we have everything that you'd ever need for your voice. And I was like, is my voice bad? And he's like, no, I'm just saying if you need. So then all week I'm like, do I need stuff? Like he heard my voice and he was like.

You know, because you're always worried that your voice... Isn't that a cough you do sometimes? Maybe you thought, like, oh, he's coming down with something. Yeah, you're like, no, that's just how I am. Actually make a living off of just talking. You guys both have a good non-smoker's cough. You don't know what I do, Dusty. I keep forgetting you're here. You just pipe in and say something funny. Sorry, I'll open up a little bit. Sorry about that, man. Reg Griffin.

Help a non-golfer out here. Was Brady Knoll based on anyone in particular? It was not based on anyone in particular. Some people thought it was me. Shout out to Reg. I love Reg. Reg Griffin. Yeah. Super fan, man. Yeah, love Reg. That guy's come to a lot of our shows. He's the best. Yeah. No, it was just a – that was another one. They sent it to me, and I was like – I just always get nervous when someone sends – it was Streeter and Mike. When someone comes up with a sports one or a golf one, I'm like –

I always think no one's going to know golf. Like, you know, like it's not going to be. But that one, that went around. Look at that. That's for the next comment. That's for the next comment. Oh, that one went around. That one made it's like, I mean, I had people at the golf course just be like, watch out for eagles, you know. So that one. Well, that'll be a joke you'll hear the rest of your life now when you're on the golf course. Covering up the Nike logo. That was all. That was very funny. Nike called? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, that one was great. D-Hugs. I was a volunteer at the Des Moines Principal Charity Classic in June 2007. It's a PGA tournament sponsored that raises money for local children charities. Part of the annual event includes a two-day pro-am on third hole. Rob Lowe obliterated a tiny goldfinch bird in flight. Dropped it right out of the air. The goldfinch is our state bird. Rob actually held the dead bird for the photo I took below. Wow. Yeah.

That's crazy. That's amazing. So that really, so then I guess it was based off Rob Lowe. I guess so. Yeah. We could, yeah. What if he asked him that? He'd be like, you remember that? And he's like, nah. Do it a lot. What if you forget it? Happens all the time. Yeah. That's a real thing. Seems real proud in a way, though, to be holding that bird. Yeah. Rob Lowe seems like a nice guy. Monica Rierichs. Sounds like John, what's her, John Wick. Yeah.

John Wick's wife. She put the X. She still goes by the Wick. She goes, well, I spelled it a little different. He goes, yeah, buddy. You're still getting, you know, like they got divorced. And she goes, well, and this is how she spelled her name. He goes, no, you got to spell it different. You can't be John Wick anymore. What's your maiden name? Weericks. He goes, well, that's the same thing, Monica. That's what John, he goes, that's basically the same thing.

She was married to John Wick. Yeah. Yeah, do you get it? Yeah, I get it. I feel like John Wick's wife was killed, though, in the show. And it's like, that's... Yeah, that's the truth. But the fun, I was trying to be fun. I just feel like the guy was making fun of John Wick's wife, and then John Wick went AWOL. Well, this was the one before. Not AWOL, but went insane. He was married before that. I don't even want to be making fun of a fictional John Wick. Yeah. You know what I mean? I guess. Monica, I am a paramedic.

Your SNL skit with the water slide dead person made me and my colleagues laugh so hard. Last year, we did a cardiac arrest at the top of the water slide. Your SNL skit was exactly what we were thinking when we got to the top. For the record, we did not send him down the water slide. We carried him down all the hundreds of steps. How about that? Yeah. I wonder, yeah, I mean, that's got to be a tough cardiac arrest. That means they got it or they did not get it? No. Oh, like this. I took it. He didn't make it. He didn't make it.

We did a cardiac arrest. Some reason I read that as like the, that was a positive, like that's the positive way to do it. Well,

We did a cardiac arrest. You're like, oh, that's great. And then we did a cardiac. He'd be like, oh, I'm sorry. I guess he could have, right? He had a heart attack, but they carried him out. I feel like, yeah. I mean, I think if you've got a weak heart, I don't think the first thing they're going to do is shove you down. Yeah. If he dies, send you down. I think it'd be more inappropriate then. If he lives, carry him. Yeah. If he dies, it's like. But at the same time, the guy had a heart attack going up the steps. Let him enjoy the slide. Yeah.

Maybe get his heart going again. Yeah. I mean, he's like, no, I had a heart attack coming up here. At least let me do the slide. Yeah. Let me chime in about Chai. Once I have to keep up. You like that, Dusty? Yeah.

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If I could tell you what this Rob Lowe picture, I'll be honest, I thought it was a woman at first. First time he popped it up there, I pictured a woman in a ponytail. Rob N. Lowe. Yeah. And then I see it now. It's the sad face. Yeah. Allison Cicala. Cicala. I hope it's Cicala. I like Cicala. Cicala. Cicala. Cicala. On Seth Meyers, Nate revealed he's writing a book.

I feel a bit sad to have learned about it through a different avenue. As you know, I'm a long-time listener, and I do love when we find out things first and get that insider info. Yeah, I just don't think I was here. That's how I learned about it. Oh, yeah? Seth Meyers. There you go. That's how I learned about it. Yeah.

I'll tell you this, the insider, it's because you don't know when you're going to announce this stuff. And so I've been working on it. There's been a lot of stuff. So it's not like, you know, I'm just like kind of going forward and trying to, I'm just trying to work, trying to get everything done. So I don't think to be like, oh, like, and then, um,

I wasn't even really thinking we were going to be announcing the book. But then we just had so much press. And then with SNL, it's like a lot of stuff going on. It was kind of just like, all right, let's kind of put everything out. Like, let's start it. Like, announce, you know, kind of announce everything. And so that's when the book was announced. It's, yeah, I'm excited. Big Dumb Eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Is it a thriller? Romance novel? It's a little bit of everything. A little bit of sit back.

No, it's kind of like stories. We try to really not make it that much that was in stand-up. If there is any stand-up stories, I'm trying to think what there would have been. It's a different, maybe it's more detailed, but it's a lot of different stories about my car, the first car I had, just talking about that. Very funny, working with a ghostwriter.

It's pretty fun. Can't even see him. Can't see him. I don't know if you can call him a ghostwriter now. Well, he's here right now. It's a demon writer. He's here right now. Are you not? Why? Because you can't. You're not supposed to say you work with ghostwriters. I think, definitionally, ghostwriters don't get credit for it. And you're not saying his name, I know. Or her name. Chris Ferry. Okay. I don't know. I guess. You're the ghostwriter. Yeah.

Yeah, are you not supposed to say it? No, I don't think there's... There's no way. Here's the thing. You could never write a book if you didn't have a... I mean, it's impossible. Yeah. I have so much... I'm just too busy. There's not a world. I'm having trouble...

It's all my stories. It's just you talk to him, and then we just kind of go through it and talk. I tell stories. He came on the road with me, and then he kind of puts it in form. Then I go back through the chapter, and I kind of put everything exactly how I would say it. You're writing a book, but if it wasn't for them— I don't think people think you sat down at a typewriter and wrote all this out. I think I would have always thought that.

Really? I think I would have always just assumed... Well, if you think someone... You would just think if someone wrote a book, I would have thought, yeah, they... I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't have thought about it, which is maybe how it should be. But I mean, they don't... They're not writing the book. It's like you're writing the book. It's the stories. But it's... Yeah, getting it in any kind of a readable shape. I mean, it's...

Yeah, it would be. If you wanted to have any punctuation whatsoever, it needs to run through the ghost, right? Yeah, if you don't want to read the longest run-on sentence, just go, put a period in here somewhere. Just take a breath. But it's, yeah, so it's coming along. It's great. Yeah, it's moving. Yeah, it'll be fun. Do you know when it's coming out?

I believe that the, I don't know what I can say. I think it'll be like, you know, next year, May of next year. That's a little insider info. I don't think I can say that. But so don't, Chris Farah, May of next year. Everybody be cool about that. Do not say anything else. Remember when Mr. Peter had a bike? I did that one time, by the way. I said something and then we had to tell Abby and then we go, you got to take that out.

I think when I said my Netflix special, I said I did like a, hey, this is between us. And then I did get a call. They go, seriously, you got to take that out. Then I go, okay. So I do try to sneak them out when I can. So maybe you don't hear that. So I don't think we've talked about that since. Oh, yeah. Christmas Eve. And it's called? Your Friend, Nate Bargetze.

I like the title. Yeah, it's good, right? From the time you met Tiger Woods. Yes. It's all back to Tiger Woods. This was... All of them are just... This one's more about Wayne Gretzky. Who I did just meet. He was a very nice guy. But it was... Now, it was... This one, I was trying to... Coming up with the title. I like it to be a...

Kind of a theme of the, not necessarily about the joke, but it's just kind of the vibe of what it is. And yeah, this one kind of came up with just like as a letter, like your friend, neighbor. Let's see. It's awesome. This one looks, it looks great. Shot in an arena.

And it, but it feels, I mean, you know, it just, it looks awesome. It's, it's, uh, it does feel very big, but I think it's, but they shot it in a way that it's still this intimate feeling. And, uh,

It just, yeah, it's fun. I'm excited for it to come out. Shot it in April. I've always wanted, they were going to maybe put it out in July, but we got it out in the big Christmas Eve. I always wanted my specials to be out around Thanksgiving and Christmas because I thought just a lot of families together and it'd be a good time for me to put a special out. And so this was the first one where we got to kind of do...

do that and uh so we've got to hold on to it and so yeah there's gonna be a lot of a lot of nate i apologize and uh they're already you know if santa claus is late this year he might have been watching nate special yeah yeah that's a good point that is he's late he was hopefully he's not late to your house this year yeah you know why yeah yeah yeah he's like santa claus yeah yeah yeah big fan yeah

It feels like you're drunk. Yeah. I love a good B&E, you know? Yeah. Does it not feel like, because I feel like this has not been a, this is a lot because me and Aaron got back. And then obviously it's been a lot of me. So you and Bates have had to sit back on this episode. Your vibe is like kind of, Leah, like you've just been drinking wine over there. Yeah, I'm just jumping in, you know? I like it. It's coming off great. Yeah, I'm letting you guys, you know, roll with it.

The fans are excited. I mean, you guys are back. They really missed you guys. Mr. Peterman hired Elaine to be his ghostwriter. Yeah. But she had to buy stories from Kramer. Oh, yeah. Dusty's kind of our Kramer. I could buy stories. Yeah. You could write a book. You probably would write a book. Maybe, yeah. I feel like there's something. Yeah. If you retire from comedy. I honestly don't know either. If you're really wondering, I don't know what Dusty's doing in his life. No one does. Dusty. No one does. He's going to pop up. That's good. That's intentional. Yeah. Yeah.

Jameson Working. I like that last name. I'm Working. I bet when Twerking came around, it was tough. His name is Jameson T. Working? Yeah. If his middle name is Thomas, Jameson Thomas, I bet he had to get rid of that real fast. Honestly, I think just watching Nate record his own audio book could be a podcast on its own. Oh, yeah. I am doing my own audio book.

It's one of those where they tell you, like, yeah, but you can do – because you can still say some stuff kind of different or this, and you're like, you know where you want to go. Just tell me what I'm supposed to do. Yeah, yeah. I think it's like I'll be reading it. You got to take a long time. Yeah. Take a long time. I mean, it's going to be – Like a month off on the calendar. Yeah. Book's 40 pages long. We already started it. I haven't even wrote it.

You just get through the title. We're just trying to get through the, what's that? Big Dumb Eyes. Big Dumb Eyes. And they go, Dumb Eyes? I go, no, no, no, no. Dumb Eyes. Dumb Eyes. Big Dumb Eyes. Big Dumb Eyes. Leanne Hamlin. Wonder if Nate is still on a strict diet. I recently lost 25 pounds eating in a calorie deficit. And I have to give a huge shout out to the Flail Fish Foundation.

And has anyone tried the chicken Big Mac? I think I'm a fan. I've not tried the chicken Big Mac, but I would like to. Yeah, good. That is a good shout out. I don't understand what happened in this comment.

What do you mean? Well, she goes from how I've lost 25 pounds eating in a calorie deficit to loving filet-o-fish and a chicken Big Mac. I think she ate a filet-o-fish. She would just eat the sandwich. Because when you're in, you know, like you could have that. Is that one sandwich is 700 calories? Yeah, 700 calories. So you have that. And that's all you get. You get that, that's it for the whole day. Maybe a protein bar later in the day or something. And that's under 1,000 calories. Yeah. Yeah.

But you're just calories you're choosing. You're choosing that for your calories. That looks like onion rings. That looks like an onion ring so much. Yeah, it does a little bit. I definitely do need to try it. It looks awesome. Yeah. How many calories is the flail fish?

I've never had a filet of fish. Well, you should do that now. Yeah. You got a baby, dude. 380. Oh, you can have four or five. Yeah, look at the glue on that thing. You got to have a filet of fish. I thought you told me during Lent that's what y'all ate. Why don't you save it, and then that'll be you and your daughter's first McDonald's together. Yeah, filet of fish together. Yeah. And you only eat it with her. The glue guy. And she's like, you only eat it with me? And then he goes...

I promise you, dad, don't promise. I promise I'll only eat it with you. And then you have to drive by in a different car because it's hard to not eat them. Maybe I have had them during Lent. Maybe. I can't remember. During Lent? It's pretty hard to keep count, huh?

Keep track of everything that goes in there. During Lent, I'm going to give up burgers. I'll swap to the Filet-O-Fest. No, Lent is no meat on Fridays. Yeah. So that's why people would eat fish. Fish counts? Fish is not meat. Yeah, we've had that discussion before. It's a vegetable, right? Something with a P, right? Pescatarian. I don't, I don't, I'm not, I mean. Yeah. Well, yeah. Most of the world considers it not meat. So.

It's protein, but it's not. Where are they getting that definition from, though? Capital T tradition. Poop? Yeah. Yeah, because I just think it's like, you know, the meat is muscles, right? Now you want to get scientific about what it is? When you eat an animal, the meat's the muscles, right? You don't feel any gut, just difference between fish and like a... Yeah, but I feel a difference between chicken and beef, too. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm.

That's a good point. For whatever reason. I never eat turkey and dumplings. For whatever reason, we've carved out fish, and we go, you're allowed to have that. Okay. On Friday. I feel like when they were, you know, they probably were like meat, and then someone, they go, oh, yeah, you know what I forgot to say? Fish, though. And they go, eh. Nobody will exploit that loophole for 2,000 years. Already done it. Anita Herbert.

hey bear hey bear hey bear apologies i need a hey bear i need a hey bear yeah i need a hey bear apologies nate and dusty but all right we're having a good time all right look at this look at that we got they're dressed up as i assume that's nate yeah i'm here that's nate on the left dusty on the right that's the best i've ever looked just up a stand-up comedian we look good right there i love it that's super that's awesome

That's cool. All right. We have both done the stand-ups on Netflix. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Awesome.

You think there's a couple live from Nashville dressed as me and you, Brian? Channel 4.5. It's on the back. 4.5. Yeah, just a regular car. Where are they at, you think? Look at those leaves. Probably at a trunk or treat, if I had to guess. I'll take those leaves. Maybe they'd get to, yeah. I think they're set up for a trunk or treat. I think you open those curtains right there and there's candy in it. Do you think his hair is white enough? Yeah, I hope I'm not that white.

I don't think it's that white. I'm kidding. But that's what people will see. Yeah. All right. Yeah. This one was a little bit of a shorter one. We're just getting back into it. For us, me and Aaron. Yeah, man. We're back at it. I'll be here next week. Oh, yeah. You can be around me. I don't know where I'm at.

I think so, but I don't know. It's good seeing you. I think I'm here. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm here for a lot of the time. But, I mean, there is a lot of stuff I have to do. That's true. Yeah. But, yeah, we're here. What is next week? See if you can carve out some time for a chicken Big Mac, though. No, Nate. You're not here next week. Sorry. Oh, boy. Don't go through it. Okay. We'll see you at Christmas. Yeah, we'll see. I don't know what's going on. Yeah.

But yeah. There's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of... Yeah. But we'll be here. Look, Nate Land's got a lot of moving pieces now. If you do eat the chicken Big Mac, will you do a video of it? Will you show us? You eating it? I mean, I'll just eat it. I'll tell you I'll eat it. All right. But I'm not going to do it. I don't know if I want to do a video. Why don't you eat it? All right. Maybe I'll try. Yeah. You do a video. Wash it down with a Mountain Dew. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Then I'll go to a water slot, have a cardiac arrest. Yeah. Yeah.

all right. Where are you? Say where you're. Oh yeah. Um, this, uh, Oh, this Saturday I'm in hot Springs, Arkansas, then Paducah, Kentucky, uh, the Franklin theater here in Franklin, uh, Litchfield, Kentucky and London, Kentucky. It's the easier to drive to London, Kentucky. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Uh,

I only have one take. This is when you go, I'm going to London and everybody goes, oh, Kentucky. They don't even ask. They don't even go, what? They go, oh, Kentucky. Yeah. In his accent, do you get the joke? Yes, of course. Yeah. I was seeing London. He could just say that and everybody would know. Paris? No, exactly. No, everybody just knows. Yeah, they go, yeah, we know where he's going. Yeah, he's definitely not from Lebanon, the country. He's definitely from Lebanon. I'm going to be

November 24th, St. Louis Helium. I sold out two shows there and then I had to move them because the baby we thought might be born. So we moved it to November 24th. Some people have changed their minds since we moved the date. Hopefully you can make it to one of those two shows, November 24th, St. Louis at the Helium Comedy Club. Those are my last dates this year. And then 2025, I hit the ground running. But if you want to catch me this year, November 24th, St. Louis.

All right. I've not done a club in a long time, but this weekend I'm going to do the Albany Funny Bone. All right. Three shows at the Albany Funny Bone. You love some upstate New York. Yeah, I do love it. And my buddy Derek Humphrey will be with me. It's going to be a great time. Normally they put me at the True by Hilton, but I've got the buyout and I'm staying at a different hotel just because I want to not get attacked by the demons. Yeah.

All right. Uh, we have a bunch of Nate land stuff, so make sure you go check that out. All the stuff that we have, uh, the book CBS, the Christmas special, uh, Nate land live. We've done that. It's that they're sitting right now for that. We do that at the lab. Uh,

Greg Warren's recording, Greg Warren's special, Funny Bone, Columbus, Ohio, November 23rd. First show is sold out. Tickets to the late show. Mike Vecchione, we're doing a special with him at the lab here in Nashville, December 28th.

two shows for the special taping night available right now. Uh, also remember we have, uh, two podcasts, the consumers with Greg Warren, Greg Warren, Tim Convey, and Sean O'Brien every Tuesday. And also the, uh,

This week, they tackle on the—oh, I'm reading it wrong. This week, they talk about the Cheesecake Factory on the consumers. And then also, Don't Make Me Come Back There with Dustin and Melissa Nickerson. Episodes drop every Thursday on that. So make sure you go check out all the Nate Land stuff. All right, we love you. Hope you have a great week. See you later. Bye. Bye.

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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