222: #222 Cultural Differences featuring Dustin Nickerson
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Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Delete Me, ZocDoc, Helix, and Viore. Hello folks, and hey bear, as always, Brian Bates, Dusty Slay. All right.

And filling in today for Nate and Aaron, the great Dustin Nickerson. All right. Thanks, guys. Thanks for having me. Do you think people are disappointed when they turn on the podcast and they hear you doing the intro as opposed to Nate? Every week they go, ah, Nate's not there.

And if they're watching it, they already see the thumbnail. They're already disappointed. That's good. Aaron was going to be here today. I feel like every week I'm teasing he's back next week. He was going to be here. His baby had a doctor's appointment. He didn't want to miss as a new dad, which I respect. So I really think he'll be back next week, but who knows? Nate will never be back. Nate's gone. No, Nate will be back. Nate's out there doing great things.

Has he been busy? What's he been up to? What's Nate been up to? He's just doing entertainment things. Not great things. He's not doing charity. He's not making positive contributions, is what you're saying. Well, he donated a lot of money to his high school's athletic...

facility. Oh, and didn't he raise some money for the hurricane? I'm not saying. Yeah, I'm sure. No, I mean, you're really undermining Nate there. I know, I'm sorry. But the way you said it, though, he's out there doing great things. Well, comics are pretty selfish people. That's true. I'm the most selfish. So if I was doing the things Nate was doing, I would be saying I was doing great things. Yeah. Do you know the Salvation Army's slogan?

Oh, yeah. It's doing the most good. I saw that this week. Yeah? I thought, wow, that's bold. Yeah, that's what I thought too. Like, it's weird to make charity competitive. Yeah. The most good. Yeah. Yeah, you're doing some stuff. Yeah. But we're doing the most good. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

It's a weird choice that they were like, no, we need to communicate this. And I like the Salvation Army. I worked for the Salvation Army for a while. You did? Yeah, at the rec center I worked at. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I always remember thinking that was a pretty bold statement. And also, again, the idea that you're like, I just want to let everyone know

no one does as much good as we do. Like we're first place in doing good. - They're like, you doing good? Yeah, well we're doing the most good. - Oh, that's nice. The little good that you're doing. - Yeah. Oh, goodwill? Oh, well we do the most. - It is. It's like a shot right at goodwill. - Yeah. - Yeah. No, no, they do a good amount of good. - Yeah, they're good, but. - We got some Nate Land news here. - Great.

This week on the Showcase, Nate Lynn Showcase, Mike Goodwin's set came out last Monday. Very funny. We all know Mike, right? Super, super funny. I hosted that round. He killed it. This week we have Simon Fraser. That guy just yawned. Sorry. What? Sorry. One of the guys just yawned. Just mid-episode. We've lost him four minutes in, man. 319, actually. Yeah.

we didn't hit the four minute mark before we got a big really a comical yawn not even we didn't even really try and hide it just i don't even notice that guy before i mean it was just short of like like making the noise too so i'll try and pep it up i don't feel like i don't like seeing it he's not a fan of the naked is that caffeinated too yeah yeah i'll fall on the i better not be a chamomile

No, this is a throat coat. Okay. Yeah. I like a throat coat. Yeah. K-1 meal really can slow you down. All right. Keep going. All right. This week on the Showcase, Simon Fraser. Adrian and I were here. He killed it. I mean, just blew the roof off. And he's so funny. And yeah, I guess that came out actually today, Monday. So check that out. If you're in Nashville, tickets are on sale for the last Showcase of the season, which

That will be November 4th at the lab, the day before the election. Dusty says it might be the last show ever. Yeah, that's true. So that's incentive to come, right? Yeah, it is. Get your laughs while you can.

It's November 4th at the Lab. I showcase another great group of comics. If you're in Nashville, come join us every Monday night for Nateland Live at the Lab. Tickets are on sale. Hosted by members of Nateland. I'm hosting tonight. Dustin's going to be on it. I am on the show tonight, yeah. John Crist is on it. Steven Bargatze. It's going to be a hot show. Every week, come out. Every Monday. Great comics on it. I like that when we do it like this, we talk about the show that's going to be tonight, but it...

when the podcast comes out it's two days ago yeah it's like this is what you missed yeah this is what you missed don't miss it yeah and even if it went bad we made it sound like it was gonna be great yeah yeah no you really missed out yeah the most fun doing the most fun

Nate Land recorded Stephen Rogers special over the weekend in Fort Collins, Colorado. There they are. Get Brian Regan back there in the back. He did a guest set. And Peter Wong. It went great. Shout out to the Comedy Fort in Fort Collins and the owner, David Rodriguez and his staff. David's the best. Yeah. The whole weekend was awesome. So yeah. So Stephen did that.

My phone rang today. It was Dustin. I got all excited. I answered, hey, buddy. And he's like, oh, sorry. I was trying to call Steven Rogers. So...

Steven got a call from Dustin today. You got to know when you accidentally call someone, you just roll with it. Hey, we're going to be at Zerny's today, right? But I didn't want to talk to him. He did not. Yeah. I mean, when I hung up, it showed the length of the call. Four seconds. Wow. Four seconds. And I yawned in that four seconds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, gosh. No, it was. I did what it was. So I talked to you earlier that day, today. Yep.

And I was calling Stephen to talk about the special, and I just did like the Hey Siri call. And your name came in. So if anything, oh, my phone heard me say Hey Siri. It's going to call Stephen now. No, if anything, it's a compliment to you that I meant to call Stephen Rogers, but my brain said, no, you want to call Brian. But then I heard your voice and I changed my mind. Yeah.

Okay, well. Sorry. I took a turn. I needed to save any stories that we had to save for the podcast. You got to get content out of it. That's a good way to put it. This is not necessarily Nateland news, but could I give a shout out to a show that's happening? I can't even finish the Nateland news before you're doing your own news? Well, I thought you were getting into some other things. Okay. We were on shows. Well, this show is a show for a benefit for hurricane victims. Okay. You know, of Helene.

North Carolina, East Tennessee, Western North Carolina. So it's at the Ryman on Monday, the 21st at 7 p.m. Leanne Morgan, John Chris, Charlie Behrens, me. Boom. It's going to be great. It's a hot show. All proceeds go to Mountain Ways, which support relief and recovery for East Tennessee, Western North Carolina. And I've been told that's a good charity. Who told you that? Well, they told me it was properly vetted. Who?

Who's that? People on my team. Because I don't trust any of these. I don't trust any of these people out here. Do you think a hurricane really happened? Well, yeah. Okay. And I'm very sad for them. It's very sad.

All right. So that's Monday the 21st. Did the government make the hurricane? That's the question. But yeah, it happened. And I wasn't going to say anything. But yeah, it happened. It's not a matter. Last week I had him and John Chris, so it was two against one and thoughts like that. Oh, great. I have no comment on it, but please go to the show at the Ryman. Yes. Either way, they need help. Gosh.

I feel uncomfortable right now. I don't. Nate Land is recording Greg Warren's special November 23rd at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio. It makes me mad that he's already putting out another special because he's that good. He's a machine. He is. Tickets are on sale now, so come on out and join us the 23rd. That's what protein does. He's eating all that peanut butter, and he's a writing machine. Mm-hmm.

Nate Land is also recording Mike Vecchione's special here at the lab, December 28th. Another comic that put out two specials before you put out one. You made that very specific about me. Well, you said it about yourself. I just thought in general, guys, we all would agree that that's a lot. Oh, I mean, Dusty and I have been putting out specials. Yeah, I'm ready to go again. Yeah. All right.

Anyway, we have two shows for the special taping night available now. Get them before they're gone.

Nate Land Podcast Network Update. The Consumers with Greg Warren, Tim Convey, and Sean O'Brien drops every Tuesday. Then Nate Land every Wednesday with Brian Bates and Dusty Slay, occasionally Nate Bargatze, Aaron Weber. And Don't Make Me Come Back There every Thursday with Melissa Nickerson and her husband Dustin. Yeah, right. Check it out. I wonder where the Dump Dusty guy's at right now, though. It's like, you know, if I had not been around, what would be happening this last couple of weeks? You know what I mean? That's a good point.

We would have made it. Yeah.

You would have made it. There have been a couple of solo Brian episodes. I would love that. That's what I want. Yeah. I want a solo Brian episode. You think he would thrive or would it be like Garth and- Yeah, I was going to say like Wayne's World. I think Brian would finally get to talk about what he wants to talk about. Yeah, exactly. What do you want to talk about? Kim Trails. You can do that with me. I just said that because we just saw some outside. Yeah. Yeah. It's been very clear for weeks. What's going on today?

Clouds are covered. Sky's covered. I don't know what it is, but I don't like it. Ha ha ha ha ha!

That's all I'm saying. I don't like it. Beautiful blue sky, and then the airplanes start going over, and there's a checkerboard on the sky, and it's just like, what is that? I like a good conspiracy theory. I can't go down the road with you on that one, but I don't mind it. I find that a lot. People go, I like conspiracies, and then I start naming some, and they go, well, not those. Mine are, this is not what we're here to talk about, but the one that I will most sign off on their conspiracy

because it's been largely proven, is sports being fixed. Oh, yeah. And largely, even not entirely fixed from the top end, but largely influenced and bought off refs and players. I mean, it's been proven. One guy. Well, no, first off, the White Sox World Series. Over 100 years ago. Does that mean it didn't happen? It means they're better at it now. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

And an actual ref went to jail for it. Like, I know you're like, ah, just one guy. Well, tell that to all the players who played for the Kings that year. And like the targeting rules, sometimes it's like you go, oh, that wasn't really targeting. And then that guy gets ejected. And then the next time they like take the guy's head off and they go, they don't even call it. And I just think now with like so much money being in sports, like so much gambling, you're like, I mean, there's no way, right?

Draft Kings. I agree with you. I'm just bitter about a Super Bowl loss. It's ruined football for me. Really? Yeah, I like it, but I'm like, I'll be watching a game, and I'm like, oh, this is really great. And then one bad call changes the whole momentum of the game, and then I'm like, oh, this is it. So you think Pete Carroll called a bad play because he was in on it? No, no, not that Super Bowl. I'm not mad about that one. The Seahawks lost to the Steelers in, what was that, 0-4?

seven, something like that. Oh, nine. I don't remember what year it was. Oh yeah. A lot of bad calls in that game. A lot like three or four. And I think our tight end might've been paid off to drop a pass on the one. I don't know about that one, but I like to think about it. I was drinking a lot. No sex. Yeah.

That is funny that everyone says, you know, I like conspiracy theories. I don't believe them. Yeah. I would never. Oh, yeah. Well, that's what I say, too. I don't believe them. I just like to talk about them. They're fun to think about. I think I, I don't know if there's any, like, I just feel like the easiest answer is probably the correct one. Oh.

Wow. I was trying to think of like JFK assassination. Wouldn't it be a conspiracy theory? Because over half of America thinks it's not what they say it is. So wouldn't it, if you think it did happen that way, wouldn't that make you a conspiracy theorist?

Man, I thought we were going to talk about the difference between the South and the West Coast this episode. We really are diving into it. Well, no, we're just getting started. Yeah, we're just getting into it. Everyone loves to pen it on me that I'm the conspiracy guy, but Brian loves it. Secretly, Brian loves it. I love bringing it up. You're right about that. I love to get Dusty going. That's for sure. He loves it. That is for sure. According to one of the X-Men movies, it was Magneto. So don't rule that out.

Magneto did what? Cuban Missile Crisis? He moved the bullet curved and that's what got him. Oh, that's right. And then they killed JFK's brother. I feel like people often leave that one out. Yeah.

And JFK's brother's wife just died. And I had nothing to do with it because I didn't mention her. Oh, yeah. We should name some people. Ethel Kennedy. She was 96. Yeah, she's old. Well, I get accused for everybody else that's 112 when they die. So I would have mentioned her, by the way, if I had known she was still alive. Because that does seem like such a bygone era. Kennedy, like Robert F. Kennedy's mom was still alive. That's pretty crazy. That is crazy.

All right. Let's talk about where we were this weekend. Okay. I'll go first. All right. Mine's probably the quickest, Dusty. Nah. Friday night. I want you to get into it. Really elaborate. All right. I will. Friday night, I was at the beautiful Fisher Center Performing Arts Center at Belmont University here in Nashville with Jeff Allen,

Steven Bargatze and Patricia Heaton. That looked like a fun show. It was a fun show. I did not expect that last name to come out there. I know. She and I did a little skit together. That was fun. Oh, that's awesome. It didn't go great. Were you Raymond? Did you guys do that? In my mind, I was. Yeah. That's what I was thinking while I was out there. Yeah. She did a thing where she pretended like she thought she was introducing Nate Bargatze. And then I have to go out there and whisper to her, it's actually Steven Bargatze. Oh, that's funny. She's like, who's Steven Bargatze? But I brought up...

The point, when we were discussing this backstage before the show, some people are going to think...

Nate's really here and they're going to get excited. And everybody was like, I don't care. She introduces Nate. She doesn't introduce me. She says, it's an honor to welcome Nate Bargatze. And the crowd gasped. One woman goes, what? And then I walk out and the faces just drop. Oh my gosh. I don't know why people think that's a good idea. It was still fun. Yeah. It was fun. I don't even want people, if they intro me at, uh,

uh, Zanies to mention that I do the podcast because I'm afraid, like if you say one of the co-hosts of Nate, yeah. I go the opposite, as you know. Yeah. I lean in. I have them introduce me as the star of the Nate Land podcast. I like to dig myself in a hole. Yeah. I'm going to get there anyway. I might as well go ahead and start there. I was thinking that Steven could get out of that hole though, based on what he does. Oh yeah. Like,

I couldn't. Oh, man, a yawn, sneeze. Bro, you got to get out of here, man. You got to not look. You got to just look at us, Dustin. You got to just live in this world. He can't help but sneeze, Dustin. I know. You're asking too much. A lot of chemtrails out there.

Uh, Steven being a magician and what he doesn't mean so funny could get, I, if I, someone thought Nate was coming to the stage and I watched the stage, I would bomb. So, cause you just got to get into your life. I'm a dad, not the dad you hoped. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but that was fun. Then last night I was in Huntsville, Alabama doing a show for a Mayfair church of Christ, uh,

Great time. They sent us some Trash Panda shirts. Yeah, thank you. You're wearing one there. Probably sweating through it. That was for Nate, but it's yours now. Thanks. I renamed my tour on the way home from Huntsville. It was the Easier to Drive To Tour. Now it's the Dustin Nickerson Five Years Ago Tour. Just a random club, a church. Yeah. Community. String them together. Yeah. And they had had Dustin before.

I'm sure they had. I didn't ask, but it's just kind of a given. He did the Von Braun Center with Taylor Tomlinson, then he ran over and did a church. You actually do have my old agent, too, so there is a good chance that it was exactly

gig that i did i hope you know i hope it went well though it was great yeah fun a lot of fun where were you this weekend i was at uh i was in austin i did cap city comedy club uh which is really a great club yeah it's new yeah yeah because there was it was an old road room for a long time and then helium bought it out and they built it in the have you guys been have you been to the cap city not the new one yeah it's in it's at the domain it's like uh oh wait how new is it

I was there last year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. And this is the mall area. Yeah. It's great. It's a little outside of the town. And I have like a lot of middle-aged parent friends.

Yeah. And they like love a show at a mall. Oh yeah. They like it. Yeah. Get there early. Do a little shopping. Yeah. See the show. Yeah. It's just, there's good parking, you know, that, that matters to like adults and like, ah, do we do mothership downtown? Ah, who wants to go downtown? Right. Such a hassle. Right. Uh, so yeah, that was really great. And I was also there, uh,

during Austin City Limits, which as far as selling tickets go was probably not a great idea, but I did catch a couple shows and that was fun. So yeah, I had a great time. Who'd you see? I saw, so I actually had a friend who was performing in it. And so a guy named Dustin Kensaroo, who

A lot of Dustin's. A lot of Dustin's. He's the lead singer of a punk band named Thrice. And he did like a country western album, a solo one. It's really good. And so he was performing. So I saw him. And then right after that was a band named Medium Build, which was very good. And then I caught the tail end. And then I went and did my show.

And it was like a six o'clock show, which I love a six o'clock show. It's great. And then I caught the end of Red Clay Strays and then I saw Sturgill. So it was a full day. That's a big day. It was a great day. And I don't tend to love a music festival, but I did like this one. People are saying Sturgill's the best.

I mean, I like his music, but they're like really saying his live shows are really... It really... It's very like jam band. Are you talking about Sturgill Simpson? Yeah. Does he just go by Sturgill? Well, him and I. I text him as Sturgill. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sturgy. I don't know. Is there another Sturgill? Yeah, I don't know any other Sturgills. Okay.

I mean, in the context of music, I was talking about a music festival in Austin. I feel like Sturgill was self-explanatory. Even if I just said I was listening to Sturgill today, I don't think you would think of any podcast or comedians. Yeah, I guess you're right.

So I saw Sturgill Simpson. That's what you prefer. I was listening to Elton on the way home. Elton. See, that works. And I know who you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you wouldn't say Elton, would you? No, you wouldn't. I don't know. I don't know. I would know who you were talking about, but you wouldn't. Who would be another Elton?

I would know it was Elton John, but I don't know that you would. I'm into it, though. I think fans of Sturgill Simpson refer to him as Sturgill. That wasn't meant for me to be like a name-dropping thing because I did not mean... I can't even remember Elton's last name now. I've already forgot it. I think his real name is Reginald, right? I don't know. Yeah, I'm pretty sure about that one, actually. Sturgill Simpson was great live. It's very like...

Skinner, Allman Brothers, like, here's the song and here's a five minute solo in every song. Like, I think he did like an, I think he did like an hour 10 set and I don't know that he played eight songs. They were long jam band. I'm into a jam now. I've not always been, but I am into jam now. Yeah, I respect it because I like it because I'm like, they're doing what they want to do. I still can't do fish, but.

but grateful dead i've gotten into i love it you got you'd be a deadhead you got into the dead a bit now yeah really yeah i don't know what happened to me but that's a new page for somebody i feel like the grateful dead's a little a little country yeah a little folky little country and then jam yeah i can see that such a unique place in the entertainment world yeah just to be

Not like a radio band, but to have the best fans. Like, you know, name another band where you can tell by the fans who's in town. Yeah. Like you just, your city, like I did Boston last year and you're like, oh, the Grateful Dead's in town. Kiss is another band like that. Yeah, that's true. When they're in town, you know it. Also, I never really been that into the Allman Brothers. I like them. I don't dislike them, but I'm not crazy about them.

Is that you being- Dwayne Allman. Dwayne Allman and Eric Clapton had Derek and the Dominoes. Great album. Yeah. Is that like, I feel like that's almost you being like a little contrarian. Like everyone would expect you to be into the Allman. Yeah, I think so. And I like some of their songs, but I'm just not that into them. Dustin, you want to tell us about Delete Me? Yeah. Yeah, I do.

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And I want people to know I didn't read that beforehand. This was straight off the cuff. Picked it up, read it. Someone in the comments last week told me that I should, you know, read it, get familiar with the ad, prepare beforehand if I want to be a good ad reader. But I want you to know, straight off the cuff. And then you did delete that comment. Delete me. Well, I've stopped commenting so that Brian can use more comments. I have that comment. I was going to have it in today, but I think they also referenced Aaron.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'll wait till Aaron's back. Every once in a while on my Twitter feed.

I'll see this where I keep track of Dusty because Dusty and I, I think this is the third time I've ever seen you in person. Yeah, probably so. But I feel like I know you fairly well because I watch your specials and we are kind of connected through this and we text here and there and stuff like that. And but I'll just I see the new algorithm on Twitter likes to show me what Dusty's doing. Yeah, yeah. I've been getting into it. He's doing a lot. He really gets into it.

Yeah. Twitter's my new favorite thing, I think. I don't know. I've just gotten into it. Yeah? Yeah. What do you like about it? It's just interactive. It's more interactive. Mm-hmm. It's my favorite, too. It is the one that I open the most. I like to write jokes. I like to just post stuff. Yeah, you do. Not do specials, but you look for it. Sorry, it's...

I had a Dry Bar special come out last year. Yeah, Dustin. Yeah, your Twitter's good. I like it. You actually are very good at Twitter. I would say I also see yours a lot too. Like just jokes alone, very, very strong. Thank you. But I see what he's getting into. I like to quote tweet people. I think that's really fun. Yeah.

I see Dusty getting worked up. Well, sometimes I tweet something, then I just go on about my day, and then I open it up later, and I go, what happened? People are freaking out. No, I'll go into Dusty's comments sometimes when I'm bored. His tweets or see what people are responding, and you responding to them. Yeah. Dusty has a good time on his... I don't know if you actually have a good time. No, I have a great time. Yeah.

Have a great time. I love commenting. Yeah. I, you know, it took me a long time to get good at it. I used to get emotional with it, but I, now I'm just having fun. I don't. Good. I just, you know, sometimes people get mad at me, but I'm just, you know, I'm just having fun. Yeah. Where were you this weekend? I did two shows. I went to Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Two cities. This is two cities that I've been going to for years and years and years and always done the club. This is the first year I've been at a theater. Yeah, normally I do the Grove, but now this time I was at the Walton Art Center, downtown Fayetteville, and it was great. Big crowd. I think both shows were basically sold out. Who were the Waltons?

I don't know, some small family. They started a business. It's done pretty well, I think. Yeah, it was a great show. And then I did Springfield, Missouri, where I usually do the Blue Room. I did the Giloy's Theater. It was great. Really hot shows. I had a great time. Yakov Smirnoff did a set on my show. How was that? He did really great. He's such a nice guy. Yeah. So fun.

That's great. Yeah. That's awesome. Should we get in the comments? Yeah, we should. Dusty, you going to read? These were great, though. People were very nice. I love those cities. Did you drive from Fayetteville to Springfield? No. Oh, yes. Yes, I did. How long of a drive is that? Two and a half hours. Oh, that's not bad at all. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, great little drive. Yeah.

Do you want to read the comments, Dusty? Yeah, I can. I got two other ads, so I'll be reading a lot. Oh, you mean read the comments? Yeah, you read the comments. All right. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and Nateland at natbargetsy.com. Richie Hildebrand. That's a good name.

loving the Nate land universe that we are all creating together. Well, I don't know about that. I don't know what Richie's done. I disagree. Richie. I'm on your side. I've also, these guys think they're better than their fans. I've also not done a lot either with it, but caught up on the consumers and now catching up on. Don't make me come back there. Okay. Also catching it up on the unsupported dusty sleigh cast and loving that too. All right. I take it all back. Richie's the best.

Yeah, yours just has some language and profanity. Yeah, not too bad, though. I'm joking. Yeah. We're going to have, you know, we're going to be a little different each podcast, you know? Yeah, I like a little, you know, I like a little something in there. Yeah. Ours has a woman. That's different. Yeah, that is different. My wife used to do mine, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She quit it, but she used to do it.

Well, I was about to say Hannah was just taking a break from it, but bottom line is you guys both host podcasts with your wife and that's got to be fun, but also stressful.

I actually love it. I don't find it stressful at all. And that's not to be mean or contrarian to that. I like being creative with her. It's very fun. I also like when you're staying up or a podcast like this, there's a comic side of you. And then when you're just talking to your partner or your spouse, there's a total different...

Like what I think is funny, how she makes me laugh. Right. And like the whole goal of the podcast is for me to make her laugh. I'm just spending an hour trying to get her to laugh. Yeah. And so I actually really like that. And it's fun.

Like I had someone tell me this like years ago, Tim Hawkins, actually, who you know, people know on this podcast. He told me he's like, you know, as you get like bigger in your career, sometimes you're going to have this temptation to to like get your spouse less involved and be like, hey, you don't have to do as much as you used to.

And he's like, do the opposite. Get them more involved so it remains like us. It's an us thing. And that's been big for Mel and I because it's like it's I mean, she decorated our studio. She does all the scheduling with her and Andy, our producer. And, you know, it's fun. It's fun to be creative together. So I thought that at first that it would be that way. And it does it sometimes just as far as like

the details go but now for the most part i really like it i think maybe my wife heard tim hawkins say that and she's like you know what that's a good idea i want to be less

Well, I mean, the genuine answer is probably whatever they want. Some people want to be more involved and less involved. No, I have fun too. What you're saying, I agree with all of that. I do say that we've had a few episodes where about halfway through, we start to argue a little bit and we go, you know what, let's try this later.

Let's just scrap it for now. We'll come back. You start all over? What's that? You start all over? Oh, yeah, we start all over. Yeah, we've had a couple episodes where we had to delay start time.

We're like, hey, we are driving to the studio and we are just full fighting. Let's take a walk around the little village that we record in here, the downtown La Mesa village. Let's go breathe a little and see if we, you know, Andy, just be chill for a while because we got to hash this out. That's what I was getting at, guys. Yeah. But it's pretty rare. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd say mine's less rare, but now we have a fun time. I listened to both of them on the way home last night. Yeah. On a car ride home, and Dustin's is, and I think Nate even pointed this out when you were on here, rapid fire, fast talking, right off the bat, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It's California. It's West Coast. Yeah. Fast talkers. Then I listened to Dusty. All right.

I mean, it's like... Just me alone in a room. This hard pace is... This pace is very challenging for me. What we're doing right here. This slow pace. This slower pace. I'm like... This is the fastest we've ever done. I know. And I'm like sweating because I'm like, we got to get going, guys. Isn't everyone going to get bored? I thought we were going too fast. No, I am...

This is, there's been a couple times I'm like. Well, yeah, he's bored clearly. You've already pointed that out. I know. He's on his phone now. We need to pick up the pace. Pick up the pace. He'll go where he's going to be painting. It's a creative podcast. Yeah, we do it a little slower around here. And it just takes a little getting used to. That's all. It's a different rhythm to settle into. Yeah, just take it easy, you know? Yeah. It's okay. David John. Oh.

I've been a fan of Dustin's long before I discovered Nate. Yeah. Take that, Nate. Dustin was a frequent guest on Tim Hawkins' old podcast, Potty Break, and spoke very highly of Nate early on. I'm so glad Dustin and Mel are now part of the Nateland Podcast Network. All right. That's nice. Shout out from Elton's cousin. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm still thinking about that. Elton John is a household name. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, he goes about both things, but Cher, Madonna, whatever. Sturgill's not... I just, I don't think we choose, you know, how people choose to identify their artists. It's, people say Sturgill, man. When I say Sturgill, I mean, name me all the Sturgills you know. I've never met another Sturgill. Have you? That's the only one I know. I haven't either. Yeah. But I don't think that's the point. A lot of Simpsons. Yeah. A lot of Simpsons. Yeah. Brian. Brian.

OJ. The Simpsons. Yeah. So many. The greats. I love that Brian was the first one. Brian was the first one. Brian's great. I started with Brian. We were open micers together. So he was, you know, he's one of the great Simpsons. Yeah. I, uh, yeah.

What about, uh, call sprinkle? That's an unbelievable name. That's the first name is. I don't know. I said call cow, cow, we, cow, we sprinkle cow, sprinkle. I'm thinking Kai, Kai, Kai, Sprankle. All right. Guys. Sprankle sounds like a, like a, like a mid card wrestler.

You know, like Guy Sprankle. Yeah. Yeah. Guy Sprankle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Guy Sprankle. Any guy in wrestling is like, yeah, that's... Mid-card. Yeah, he's not... They're never putting him over. Never gonna get it over. Yeah.

They were like, we just wanted to call you the guy. Yeah, yeah. You're number 22 in the Royal Rumble. Yes. Before... Or when they do a documentary on some great wrestler, he got his start, you know, in Mid-South wrestling. Yes. It's Guy Sprinkle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jim Cornette has a great Guy Sprinkle story. Guy Sprinkle. Yeah. Yeah.

I gave a speech in front of my church and started it by saying, all right, just like Dusty. Thanks, Dusty, for helping me with the intro. It's a good way to start anything off. Yeah. Just go, all right. What's up, guys? I have a... Can I tell a funny story?

church speech story? We'll determine if it's funny. Okay. Well, did I say funny or did I say good? I think you said funny. Oh, well, I don't know if it's funny, but I don't even know if it's good. I certainly don't know if it's the most good, but we'll see. When I was in eighth grade, we were at Sunday youth service. So you had youth group during the week, and then you had Sunday. We called it like there was like big church where all the adults went, and then there was like the youth service.

And I was like leading a Bible. I was going to go up and lead the little devotional. Eighth grade. Eighth grade. So in front of all middle schoolers. And I was supposed to like take a verse and get my thoughts on it. And the opening statement I had written down was I was supposed to say when I first started. And what I said instead is I merged those words. And the opening thing I said was when I farted. All right. And

And I never got a group of eighth graders back. I was about to say. You never. You start with when I farted. And then I tried to go serious. I was like, guys. No. Yeah, you got to roll with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, no, guys, this is serious. I just made it.

They probably still remember that. They probably do. You're like, he's like a comedian now. Yeah, yeah. The When I Farted guy. Yeah. Did he do that on purpose? Was that some Andy Kaufman thing? I may do that now. When I farted. When all guys actually see me. That's great. You were going too fast. I was going too fast. You're right. Slow it down a little bit. Yeah, exactly. We all learned something today. Yeah. Connie Turbrock.

Dusty seems to be getting bored of doing this podcast, and he is very mean to Brian. Thank you, Connie. Finally, someone said it. That is from Connie Bates. Connie Bates. That's your burner account. I love Brian. Brian's one of my favorite people in the world. And yeah, I'm having a great time.

I just, you know what? I do a lot of podcasts. I do two podcasts a week myself. I don't, you know, and then people that listen to this podcast always say I say T at the end of every D word. And then they say I interrupt all the time. So, you know, I'm just trying to be chill. Just trying to be chill. Maybe if you talked a little faster, they wouldn't think you were bored. Maybe. Maybe we need to meet in the middle. Yeah. I'm trying to listen to what people are saying. Yeah.

And, you know, but Connie thinks I'm mean to you. Well, I mean, that's... I'm like the nicest person to you on this podcast. Yeah, I was going to say, I mean, that's kind of the heartbeat of the Nateland podcast is bullying Bates. I'm the only one nice to Brian on this podcast. Yeah. That is actually true. Now, Dusty's always been great to me. He had me on the Hot Chicken. Yeah.

Yeah, I love Brian. He has me on his show. Come on, Connie. He's taking me on the road with him. I'll start being mean to you, Connie. Do you think that's an I or L? L3? I3? I think it's... Does it really matter? I think they're trying to say Bender. I3. Yeah, that's a username. That's not a real name. That is a username. I3. That's a Roblox name. Bender15.

Does Brian know that the F in NFL football? Oh, I just did it right there. That's so funny. Does Brian know that the F in NFL stands for football and that he doesn't always need to say NFL football? That's very funny that you did that. Yeah, I can't deny it now, can I? I support it now.

That is very funny. It's like when people- That's like you're Sturgill Simpson. You're like, no, I want to say the whole thing. People often will say around here, SEC conference. So they're basically saying the Southeastern Conference conference.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That is a bit redundant, isn't it? So I'm saying National Football League football. Yeah. But it is clarifying because if you say football, I mean, I guess you could just say the NFL. Maybe you could be talking about the NFL network. That's true. So you want you want people to know for sure I'm talking about the actual football. Give me an example of how you use NFL football. Like I was watching NFL football on Sunday or how does it flow? I don't.

I don't know. I'd often do a DraftKings ad read. We don't have one today, but I'd probably say it on there. And I'd say, Dusty, are you a college football fan or NFL football fan? I don't know. I don't know. We'll have to get L3 Ender 15 to... Although, since I did it in the ad read, it kind of proves the point that I do say that. So, anyway. Oscar...

Share it? Share it? I'm going share it. Share it. Let's share it. Yeah, you need to share it. My family recently got a new robot vacuum cleaner. We were trying to decide what to name it, and I suggested Dusty Slayer in honor of Dusty Slay. Now every time we want something vacuumed, we'll say, start Dusty.

Well, I don't support you getting a robot vacuum cleaner. I knew that was going to be your thing. I knew it before you said it. Well, he said geez while I was reading it. It's going to be a giveaway. No, I didn't even hear that. But if you do get one, might as well name it Dusty Slayer because you are slaying the dust. Now, did you see where Elon Musk this week

I guess he unveiled some robots that he's putting out. Did you see this? The cars and stuff? Well, more than the cars. Oh, are you guys eating now? Yeah, Elon. I support you, by the way. I didn't say I was against it. It's different every time I look. I'm good. That's all part of the show. It's a new activity every time I look over.

Where do you get pottery from? We're doing a show while you're getting a show. Yeah, exactly. Crazy. Yeah, I mean, this is pretty sketchy here. Especially that he made them look like Star Wars. No, iRobot. Oh, okay. I don't know. That's Elon's on the right there. But it's the color of the stormtroopers. Well, that's true. I immediately guessed where you were at with robot vacuums.

but I would not know where you stand with Elon. I bet it's complicated. Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, he wants to put Neuralink in all our brains and... I'm for that. You know, and connect us to the internet and he, you know...

And he makes some really unattractive trucks. I'm okay with them. I'm sure they're powerful and everything, but it just doesn't look like a truck. No, it doesn't. It looks like a transformer in between transformation. But Twitter or X is my favorite social media. I like it. It's loose there. I like it. You think X is ever going to catch on? Not for a man. No, no. I think Twitter is Sturgill.

And that's what it's going to be called forever. You just can't change it. I like freedom of speech and I like that it's loose. I'm into it. Yeah. You know, I'm a big fan of it. But I don't think anyone will ever call it X. No. Well, the fact you could still type in Twitter.

into the bar it would still come up yeah even he's like yeah i also like regardless of anything anybody's stance on elon i like the idea that a billionaire is like a little upset that we all call it twitter still like there's a part of me that that kind of satisfies me yeah yeah it's like i like the bird too you know the old icon the bird was the bird was great yeah yeah anyway yeah

Follow me at Dustin Nickerson on Twitter. On Twitter, yeah. Wade Allen. I went to high school with Wade Allen, I think. What books are in the stack behind Breakfast? Looks like a Seinfeld and John Chris book, but I cannot tell what the others are. The Two Goats.

Looks like we got a Dustin Nickerson book back here. Oh, yeah. How to be married to Melissa. Do I need a... That's my wife. Move, Kristen. You know what? I have that book, Is This Anything by Jerry Seinfeld. And I got to say, no, it's not. That was a Seinfeld joke. Yeah, I mean, no, it is not. It is not anything.

It's like we got an Angela Johnson book. I wish you'd have done it in Seinfeld. Yeah. I got this book. I'll tell you, it is not. I mean, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's like a book of premises that if, you know, if you read the book, you're like, well, I never can do any of these joke ideas. That's my how to be married. That's your copy of it? I will tell you, if any of you guys are thinking about writing a book, and I know Nate's got one coming out. Leanne just had one. Yep.

I know comments on your posts feel a certain way. Reviews on your book hurt. Because it took so long. It took years to write that. And mine is like a memoir.

So bad reviews on your life hurt. Yeah. Like, yeah, good writing, but terrible story. Like, there was... Exactly. There was, like... Boring. Yeah, like, two-star life. Oh, no. Like, there was one of the comments that was like, this talks too much about their religion and faith. I was like, it's a memoir about our life and our story. Yeah. They're like, that's all they had to do. Ah, one star over that. So...

Anyways. You're like, at least you didn't have to live it. Exactly. Yeah. That was pretty funny. Better than Seinfeld, apparently. Yeah. I mean, that book is weak. Our marriage is something. My friend gave that book to me, but I don't think he read it. He didn't read it. I think I got that book for Christmas, and I flipped through it, and I agree with you. I love Seinfeld, but it wasn't a lot. Yeah.

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You should have written that for them. It's much stronger. That's good. They can use that. Yeah. Sonny Drury. Now we're back to the comments. The reason storms started getting named after people was from an Australian meteorologist in 1890. He didn't choose names based on a system. He simply named storms after politicians he disliked. Okay. I like that guy. I like that guy. Yeah. That's like when you find out why Chicago is really called the Windy City. Yeah. Have you ever heard that? I have.

It's not that it's so windy. It's a shot at politicians for like being full of hot air or whatever. A lot of hot air. Just full of a lot of hot air. Yeah. Makes you like it more now, huh? I do, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Whoa. Careful. Heather Helixson. The pressure of being a good parent is complicated by money. How do you know if your child has a gift or talent and how far do you extend yourself and finances?

If I had to do it differently, I would not have exerted myself and finances so extremely. Boredom and frustration are essential for creativity and confidence. Our society has created a false belief system that a parent should do everything possible for their children. That sounds like an ad read.

What you were setting up there. That was crazy. I got to agree with Heather, though. Yeah, I thought that was going to pitch a product at the end of that. I know. Now, I think she is basing this off when you were here last time, Dustin. Yeah. You were talking about how you have to buy your kids all this athletic stuff that's very expensive before they even know if they make the team. Yeah, yeah. Well, you agree with Heather. What are you going to say there?

Yeah, I mean, when I grew up, I didn't have – I was pretty bored. I mean, I had a lot – I had things. I was spoiled in a lot of ways, but also I got bored a lot. There was not a lot – I would go to my grandmother's house. My grandmother had nothing, and there was no air conditioner. It was just hot.

And I would draw pictures all the time. Yeah, I ended up being very creative because I just had nothing to do. I think it's great what Heather's saying. I think it is true to an extent. I do think as your kids get older, you will see the extreme value in them having things to do.

Because like the old idle hands makes the devil's work thing. Like that is especially true of teenagers. Like you do not want your, your teen to come home at two with nothing to do. Yeah. Let's get them into some activities. Exactly. Yeah. All these travel leagues. Now I see, like I see, I see them at hotels where I'm staying at doing comedy. Yeah. Yeah. They're like there and they're all, all the parents are drunk out on the patio. Yeah.

And I'm like, you guys are, they're like, we're broke because we're taking our kids to do travel baseball every week. And it's like, they just seem exhausted. It is. Yeah. The travel sports are a totally different animal. I mean, we have not, we've kind of done like hybrid ones. Like there's like kind of, there's always rec leagues. There's always smaller versions of it. And then when you get into high school, it's,

uh you know the high school like is kind of the another necessarily the highest level but the high school it's all built into the school which is great because then you they then they like the school happened the sport happens right after school which is fantastic but yeah i mean overall i i certainly agree with the sentiment from heather it's like it's it is a huge financial like investment sometimes i i tell about how my i say the last time i hear my dad like just told me to quit because i wasn't good enough i don't

I don't know. Yeah. I was like my sophomore year, I got hurt and I was supposed to play like American Legion ball, which is like a travel baseball team. It's very high level baseball. And I got hurt my sophomore year. And my coach was like, Hey man, like you can still be on the team, but you're not going to play very much. And I took that as like a motivational scene. I was like, Oh, you know, I'm going to be like Rocky. I'm going to train. I'm going to show him. And then I told my dad, he was like, I mean, this league's pretty expensive, Dustin. Yeah.

I don't know if I want to pay for you to ride the bench. Yeah. And then I went and got a job at the movie theater. You know what? I like...

When you first said that about your dad, I was like, I didn't like it. But then when you said, you know what? This is pretty expensive. Yeah. I actually, I like it then. Well, you know, he's, he wasn't like, you're not good enough. He's like, I don't want to pay for you to ride the bench here. You're hurt. Yeah. In hindsight, it was a very, cause now I look back and I was like, I was raised by a single dad who was working overtime at the airport in the, in the union, you know, he's just throwing bags onto planes. He did that for 35 years and,

And he's like, I don't know, man. Is this what's best? And then he got a job. He started making some money. Probably started seeing a lot of movies. Yeah, free movies. Started bringing home free popcorn. Expanding your artistic mind. Yeah.

uh yeah so in hindsight as a dad like in the moment i was like pretty disappointed but now as a dad i'm like i get it you know i totally get it so i feel for you heather but also get your kids in activities don't some activities yeah don't run yourself ragged out here i mean i do see what she's saying it's you're weighing your child's they could be the next lebron yeah but they also could bankrupt us and we got to decide yeah you know

And well, you'll notice too, when they, cause our kids are much older than your guys. It's like, it is like when they are in those activities, it's crazy. I can't see a Helix and be in the next LeBron though. I don't know what that last name is, but what sport? Yeah. What sport do you see Helix and thriving in? Yeah. Uh, tennis maybe. Yeah. Helix is a strong tennis thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you never know. Maybe the, uh, the next Pete Sampras. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

Melissa Diaz. Excuse me. Dusty, don't be mean. Connie, you'll come after you. I know. Connie. Connie Bates. Melissa Diaz. Years ago, after moving to a new house, I introduced myself to my neighbor. The next time I saw her, she called me Michelle. The first time it happened, I politely corrected her, but she seemed preoccupied at the time, and I don't think she heard me.

As time passed, the thought of correcting her again just felt too awkward. So for the next four years, I was Michelle. I love that. I think we've all been there to some degree. Yeah.

Yeah, with a name like Dusty or Dustin, as you know, it's like, yeah, I mean, people never get it right. I'm Justin to a few people. Justin, yeah. Yeah. I had a guy call me Chris at a Lowe's that I used to, and I was like, I don't even care. I'm not in this Lowe's every day, not even every week. I don't care that he's calling me Chris. Yeah. I started a new thing recently where when a barista or somebody asks me the name, I'll say Dusty.

Cause it, I do find it. It is a little, and I never go by dusty, but it is a little easier to hear than Dustin. And I like to, I like to feel what it feels like to be a dusty. That's interesting because when I say dusty, they almost always write down Dustin. Really? It's like, they're like, I don't know if he said dusty, but I don't want to accidentally call him Dustin. Oh, interesting. That's what I always think. When did you make the shift?

I've always been Dusty. Yeah. My name is technically Dustin. Right. But my parents called me Dusty. They even said they named me after characters that are Dusty. Oh. Like there was a Dusty on a soap opera. My dad says Dusty Rhodes. Yeah. And it's like, why did you name me Dustin then? Did they think it wasn't allowed? I think they got to the hospital and they're like, we don't really want to write it on the birth certificate. We'll just call him that. James Brown. Nice. Nice.

When making train noises for your kid, what is the right amount of chugga-chuggas before you choo-choo? I think two. Yeah. Oh, four. No, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga. Four, right? Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, choo-choo. I think it depends on how far away the spoon is from the kid's mouth. You got to time it, right? Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga. Yeah, you're right. A six-beat is too many.

You guys are more in this world than me. I'm not saying any chugga chuggas. I don't even know if that's how I make the train sound. How do you make the train? I don't know. Maybe I just go choo choo right away. All aboard. Yeah, you're doing all aboard. I think you got to do it. It's not. You got to throw a chugga chugga in there.

I don't know. God, this coal's ruining our... Yeah. I don't know that we've been doing any of that at my house. No? Just speaking full adult sentences? My kids have been ready to go with the spoons right away. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever pretend to be a train or hop on the train and get your hands in the easy? Not yet, no. No? Okay. Sorry, James. Yeah, sorry about that. Some questions can never be answered. Yeah. Adam...

Reinking? We think Reinking? Nice. Maybe Reinking? Maybe. Like that would be holding the reins, right? Or is there a G in there?

It's a Kenny Crow song. Well, there is a G in rain. Yeah, okay. Dusty's comments about leaf blowers being annoying were super interesting. I recently heard a whole podcast about leaf blower wars in Los Angeles. They've been fighting and making laws about the noise they make since the 70s. This year, California banned the sale of all gas leaf blowers. I just wanted him to know he's not alone. Yeah, I mean, it's unbelievable, a leaf blower. It's like you're just...

I'll be sitting in my house and I'm like, how long? I'll go, how long are they going to be cutting grass? And then I look out and it's just my neighbor leaf blowing. Like, what are you even blowing out there? Some guy was doing it at a campsite. Yeah. Somebody tweeted at me that he uses a leaf blower. He was camping and he used this leaf blower. And I'm like,

Like, why even taking a leaf blower camping just to put it on to somebody else's site? One guy said it's super helpful at starting a fire. And I'm like, you just got to be better at starting fires. Yeah, I as someone who lives in California, I can tell you that they did not ban gas leaf blowers because of the noise.

Well, that, yeah, I mean, that sounds right. The key number is, the key word there is gas. Is gas. I don't think California cares about noise. They're about to ban gas cars, so. Yeah, it's going to be. Well, that's a perfect segue into today's topic. Helped you out there, yeah. Yeah. No, I helped myself up putting that last, Dustin. I knew what I was doing. Okay. All right. I'm sorry. Brian, get some. Brian, you know what? We don't need you here, Dustin. You're right. You don't. You don't. Solo podcast. Brian Bates. Brian runs the show here. BB1. Yeah. I run a tight ship. Yeah. Don't forget it.

But no, we're talking about today. You grew up West Coast, Seattle, lived your adult life in Southern California. Lived my first 27 years in the Seattle region. I grew up in a city named Federal Way, Washington.

and it's like 30, 40 minutes South. It's actually closer to Tacoma, which you guys have, you've been to, I know. Cause you had Tacoma comedy. Yeah. Tacoma comedy club. Yeah. It's right, right there. Uh, it neighbors it. And so South Puget sound area is what it's called. And then, uh, but then when,

When Mel and I got married, she went to Seattle Pacific University and I went to University of Washington. And so we lived in Seattle proper and we lived on Nickerson Street right there in the Queen. You lived on your own. Yeah. Our first. Yeah. Our first house was three three nine West Nickerson Street. We have an annoyingly romantic, lovely story that people get who like our single get frustrated by.

I have to hide details of our story. It seems like married people would be frustrated by it. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah, I can see that too. Like, there are details sometimes of our story that I'll leave out. Because it's not that it's been perfect, but it is. There's a lot of like, oh, really? Like, sometimes people don't like it. Yeah. But anyway, so yeah, we grew up in the Seattle area. And then 12, 13 years ago, we moved to San Diego. And then most of my family...

is from oregon and uh and a little alaska so we've got a lot of the a lot of that west coast down got it covered yeah my sister was born in alaska which is awesome i wish that's so cool to say you were born in alaska that's like wow i think more than any other state if you said you were born in alaska people got follow-up questions you don't hear that one very often right hawaii but yeah those are probably the two yeah

So anyways, yes, very West Coast. Only lived on the West Coast for 40 years. I've lived here all my life. Dusty, you grew up in Alabama. I grew up in Alabama. I lived in Charleston, South Carolina for 10 years and now Nashville for 10 years. So all the South. So we thought it'd be, what should we call this? Cultural differences? Cultural wars? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to say wars. Yeah, gang wars. What'd you say? Cultural dust-up. Cultural dust-up? There you go. Between dust and dusty. I'll just set this one out. A lot of dust. Yeah. Yeah, east coast, west coast. That's not right because you guys are south. I did live on the east coast for a long time. That's true. Ten years, Charleston, South Carolina. Yeah, great. Well, we'll figure the title out later, but...

I like that we're spitballing, though. Brian's like, I didn't like any of those, so we'll figure this one. Those were all terrible, guys. Yeah. No. We'll call it from sea to shining sea. Oh, that's good. No, that's something. I'm just spitballing here. The first one Brian liked.

I like that that would be the full, like the podcast would say from sea to shining sea. Yeah. And it would just be confusing. Yeah. I like it. Adrian, what'd you suggest? We call it. We'll trade you something. If you trade us something, basically saying Louisiana purchase, if what's something in the South that you wish you had and what's something in the West coast that we wish we had. I'll go first. I mean, uh,

The ocean and I guess that's two ocean and the mountains. Yeah. Pretty nice to be. We have beautiful mountains here in the south, though. OK, the ocean. And we have the ocean. You guys hash this out because I'm not. Yeah, I live in Nashville. OK, all right. So Nashville. Yeah, OK. Anything. The majority of this big southern cities are not on the water, though.

right nashville atlanta like you're not i mean all right yeah i think you guys that you have coastal cities that people go to like a wilmington or something like that you're like this is these are our coastal cities but i murder beach but your population is not but your main population is not based in beach cities where in california they are like san francisco okay those aren't at the south though yeah do you are we throwing for miami

I loved Miami. I got to tell you. That's not what I asked. I mean, it is. Because you're at the South. But it's in the South, though. It's the most Southern geographically, but nobody thinks that Miami is the South. I think what you're saying is when you think of the South, you don't necessarily think of the coastal cities. Like, stereotypically, you think of more your Alabamas. I think about the SEC. The SEC. How many of the SEC schools are on the water?

Probably not a lot. I don't know. This is what I'd like. I'd like the... I like a defensiveness towards Brian out of the gate. I like the farming. That's what I... I mean, it's like you can grow everything in California. We've got farming here in the South. But they can grow... We don't have farming, Charleston. But they can grow everything in California. What can we not grow? Almonds. How are your avocados out here? Almond Brothers? They're from the South. Just because you don't like them, Dusty.

Avocados? I don't think you guys have great avocados out here. Yeah, avocado. Yeah, I mean... I was going to say... Citrus, lax. We have great oranges, great lemons, great limes. Florida? Florida has a lot of... Oh, yeah, Florida, of course. I think what we're going to find is... Florida's a wild card. I think what we're going to find is there's actually a lot of similarities. Yeah. It's a pretty great country that we live in. Well, what's interesting, though, is so far, at least what we've said so far, is everything you've said has been the South versus California. Yeah.

which is kind of an argument for Cal. Now we're not even talking about Oregon and Washington. You

But doesn't Washington have the ocean and mountains? But everything like the weather, the beach, the farming, it does exist in Oregon and Washington as well. The mountains, all of it is also just in the state of California because it is a fairly remarkable state, at least just geographically and the stuff that it has to offer. I'll say this. I took my sister and my niece to L.A.,

last year. And they're from Alabama, never been to California. My sister said... They loved it so much. Yeah. My sister said...

If you told me that I would love LA this much, she said, I never would have believed it. She said, I never would have vacationed here. She said, but I love it. She found people there to be very nice. She lives in a small town in Alabama. She was like, they were nicer in LA than they are in my small town. That surprises me. Yeah, me too. But I was like, in a way, I think the Southern hospitality is not...

what it used to be or, you know, uh, you know, it's just like, I find, uh, I, I really like California. I think it's very nice and I have a fun time there. Yeah.

Well, Dustin, what's something in the South that you wish? I know this is like, maybe this isn't exactly where you're going for, but the first thing that jumps to mind is cost of living. Yeah. No, that's... Yeah. I mean, it is... Of course. It is a very... Some of the most expensive cities in America are Portland and Seattle and San Francisco and San Diego and LA. They're just very, very expensive. So...

That is the immediate, and it was the, it's the real draw to the, you know, I think when you, when you see how much the state of California takes from her. No income tax. No income tax. Tennessee at least. Yeah. Or Florida. I also, I do. I'm just agreeing with you. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you. I do. As a sports fan, I do appreciate like the pageantry of college football out here a

I happen to go to a university that's very like is a good college football school. But also we get a guy who goes to the national championship and then immediately leaves us for Alabama. So that's not any loss to Vanderbilt. I am who my is a college football fan right now. My rooting interests because Washington is a rebuild. I'm just rooting against him.

And Oregon. Well, it's working. Yeah, because he almost lost to South Carolina too. I also, I think, I, you know, I...

I have a unique relationship with the West Coast because the... And I've talked about this before, of my dad and my uncle, who were my primary caretakers growing up, they're from rural Oregon. And like a city named Coos Bay, Oregon, which was very, for lack of a better term, redneck-y. Like it was like we...

You know, we drove my my uncle drove lifted Chevy trucks and we watched NASCAR on Sundays and we listen to country music. So there is a familiarity to the south that I feel comfortable in as well. You know, that's amongst other things. Mm hmm.

And I found a lot of my friends live in the South, like you guys and Aaron Weber and John, like a lot of there is a compatibility that I have with people from the South. So I love living in the South. I really do love it. But there's some food stuff like I know that like the South is like, you know, really like

Everybody talks about the food in the South, and it is good. But you go to California, and you can really find good, healthy food. It's like everything – I don't know. I feel like it became like a stereotype to just everything be fried. Right, right, right. Fried food is delicious, but I'm dying out here. Right.

It is hard not to go to the South and not gain like eight pounds in a week. Everything is fried. There's a lot more like dessert at every meal than I'm used to. Like a lunch dessert. Like that took some getting used to. No, that's interesting because I don't... Where are you going? Mostly on tour with Nate. Okay, well, that's a little different. Because most restaurants I go to here...

They may ask you, do you want... There's a lot of pie around. A lot of pie in the South. Banana pudding, if you go to a barbecue place, banana pudding's delicious. Peach cobbler, apple pie. That's what I mean. A lot of people in LA don't even, in California, don't even eat till after lunch. That's their first meal, period. And it's certainly not coming with a banana pudding. We're eating biscuits, and they're delicious. They're so good. They're delicious.

But I'm just saying it is nice to when I'm in California or something like that to to go to a place and there be all these healthy options. Yeah. Also tasty. I also think that when you again, I don't I'm not like arguing on behalf of California because I'm not from there. It's not me. I live there, but I'm not from there.

whatever you want to eat in California, it is available. Oh yeah. Like you may not have as good of barbecue there, but you'll find pretty good barbecue there. Like these are just big cities with a lot of, say when you're in New York or something, you're like, I'm going to find something, whatever type of food that I want, I'm going to find, which I probably is true in Nashville too. Like if you wanted some good Thai. Nashville's great. And, and, and, uh, Charleston had,

charleston's such a great i love charleston i gained so much weight when i moved to charleston so much weight it was unbelievable yeah this kid this kid put on some weight yeah that guy yeah well you should have used a helix mattress oh yeah i could have used it what a segue you should have seen the mattress i had when i lived in oh man but i'll tell you i love my helix mattress and everyone knows i love my helix pillows that is true they're the best pillows

A few weeks ago, we joked about what we would grab in a fire and a fun item was my Helix pillow. Although I would also get another one if it didn't make it. And that is true. That's how good they are. It's just sleep. I know. I just sleep so much better when I have my Helix mattress and pillow at home than I do anywhere else. I've had my mattress a couple of years now and it's going strong. And I...

No, it used to be I had bad mattress, I had bad apartment, bad pillows, and I would go on the road and I would stay in these hotels and I would be like, oh, yeah. And I would love a hotel. I just would love a hotel. But now I have good mattresses. I have good Helix pillows and Helix mattress, and they're so comfortable. And I go on the road and I don't sleep good.

I never get good sleep now, and I feel like all these hotel rooms have demons in them, and it's just a real night now around here. And I just want my Helix mattress and pillow. And how do you know which mattress is best for you? Just take the Helix sleep quiz and find your perfect mattress in under two minutes.

On top of that, it said stop. On top of that, Helix has over 12,000 five-star reviews. Wow. For the month of October, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. That is just for the month of October. Go to helixsleep.com slash nate. That is helixsleep.com slash nate. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

And that is true. That is true. Helix keeps the demons out. That's right. They're great mattresses. The hotel I was just at did not have a Helix mattress, and I did not sleep good, and I think...

Demons were trying to get me in that hotel. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, what was going on? I don't know. I felt like every time I was about to doze to sleep, I felt like something was trying to pull me to the other side. It was very scary. I had to wake up, turn on all the lights. Yeah. Yeah. If only you had your Helix. I know. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Mattresses and Exorcisms by Helix. It's a good product. Dustin, I heard you say on one of your episodes, the Southern Mind...

can't comprehend In-N-Out. Oh, I agree with that. Yeah, I agree with that. In-N-Out burger? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think, okay, I would love to hear your guys' take on it, and then I will speak to it. Well, I heard your take on why you feel that way, and I agree with you. Yeah. I think people just like to, well, there's two things that happen. Anything anyone has and they're part of the country that someone else doesn't, they like to build it up. Sure.

This is how people justify what a burger. Exactly. Which is not a good burger. It's not. I'm anti-Water Burger. Yeah, yeah. I've been very public about it. Yeah, yeah.

But people who live, I've done it. You live in the place that has it. You never go there in your own hometown. But if you go on the road or move somewhere and they have it, you tell everybody, this is what's good. This is what you do. And on the opposite end, people like to push back. They just don't like it because they don't want you to think you're better than they are. So they're like, ugh, In-N-Out Burger.

The point you were making was we're not talking about fine dining here. Exactly. We're talking about fast food. And for fast food, it is good. I enjoyed it. Yeah. This is the mistake I made. I didn't realize... I just got the regular burger and the patty was so thin that I actually...

doubled it up and then cut it in half and just ate half a burger. It was too thin. But I thought it was good. I liked the fries. I liked it. I don't eat fast food, but I liked it. Well, that's the mistake of In-N-Out and that people get it really hyped and they think that they're going to have the best burger they've ever had. And that's not what In-N-Out is. The best fast food option you can have.

It tastes very good. It's very fresh, like very high quality ingredients for fast food. You eat it and you go this. No, I believe this was a cow. Yeah.

And these are vegetables that I can recognize as their, you know, sometimes a fast food. You're like, I think it was a tomato. I don't know that in its current form, it is still classified as a tomato, but that still is a tomato there. And it's a, and you know, California, SoCal is like all about vibes and it is a vibe. The whole. You also said Southerners don't get vibes.

That's their thing out in SoCal is the vibes. That's just vibes, baby. What does that mean? I don't think I get it. I can't explain it. You got to know what you're putting down here. Yeah. It's all about just the... No, those are bad vibes. It's about the energy. It's about the feel when you're in there. I think it just depends on the spot. I think I can agree with you in a lot of small towns that...

I think small, like, see, this is just my, I think it used to be like small towns. I really liked, right? You go to a small town, you go to a diner and you're like, oh yeah, this is good. Like home cooking type stuff. But now it feels like the Cisco truck goes to every diner and they just drop off.

Frozen food. And no matter where you're at, you're just eating frozen food. Yeah. And it's just deep fried and nobody cares. There's no soul in it anymore. It just got there a day later than the other city. Right. Nobody cares anymore about anything. They don't even care about what they're eating. They're just like...

They just, I don't know. I just, it, it disappoints me so much all the time. This is an argument for In-N-Out. It's fresh. I like In-N-Out. I liked it, but I, you know, I'm not a fast food guy. I like Five Guys. Yeah. But it's pretty expensive. I don't even know if it's fast food. It's pretty pricey. Now you said, again, I'm quoting your podcast, that In-N-Out is California's version of Buc-ee's.

but I might argue it's Chick-fil-A or Cracker Barrel. Yeah, I can see that. I think that Chick-fil-A is everywhere now. They went downhill, too. Well, Chick-fil-A, I think the argument for Chick-fil-A is the same argument for In-N-Out, is that you cannot like it, but it's expanding rapidly, so...

some people like it. It's a pretty popular, but I do think Bucky's, the reason I said Bucky's is like when you explain Bucky's to somebody, they go, I don't get it. Or if you go to in and out for the first time you go, I don't get it. It's just like a burger. And the line was long. They're all wearing white. There's a Bible verse on the cup. I got mixed feelings about that depending on who you are. Uh, and, uh, I, I support it too. You know, uh,

and, uh, that's church in California. We don't have as many churches out there, but if you count the in and outs, but obviously, I mean, you, there's, you know, they're in Dallas, they're in Vegas, they're in Phoenix. Is there, there's probably been an in and out. They're coming East, baby. I would go there. They're coming to Nashville. I think that, yeah, that may, yeah, probably. And it'll be busy. I ate Whataburger and I think it destroyed my insides. And, uh,

I've never been the same. I think we can all agree that Whataburger is just not good. I've never been the same. And my wife recently had Whataburger. She's like, you know, Dusty's got a weird stomach anyway. And then it messed her up. Yeah. I got a weird stomach too. Is that just aging? I think it's just that American food is killing us all.

I thought it would be aging and that my stomach's just getting older, but you went a different route. No, I think your stomach just over the years is just exhausted from battling the poison that's in everything. And you're just your stomach can't handle it anymore. My wife, I thought it might be lactose intolerant. My wife, the milk is bad.

My wife's Canadian. It's not you. Canada doesn't allow a lot of the same bad things in the food that we allow it. Right. And my wife for years has been, you know, feeling great. Yeah. But I guess lately she's like, I feel like it's starting to get me now. It's finally broken her down. Yeah.

I was just showing you the chips over there, the ingredients and chips. Why do we need all these oils in it? They don't even know what oil it is. They go, vegetable oil. Could be soybean, could be palm, could be canola. We don't know what it is. Motor. We don't know where it came from. Whoa. Well, they're coming to get you. You're getting a little too close. Drone strike. But I'm just saying.

There's an argument out right now about Kellogg's. Actually, a lot of celebrities have gotten involved too. There's a bad ingredient that's a poison in their Froot Loops that is not in the Canadian version. It's not in the UK version, but it's in our –

It's like, you don't have to, you, you already know how to make the Fruit Loops without it. It's a, it's freedom oil. Yeah. That's what it is, baby. But they won't put it in there. Yeah. It's the cost of liberty. And so that, I don't like anything. I don't support, I almost don't like any restaurant now, but, uh,

Tammy's. Tammy's. I feel like Tammy's in McMinnville is like one of the last, and I don't know what they're doing. They could be, the buns are still bad, but they're, um, cause you know, I like it. The buns are bad, but I feel like their meat's good. And I feel like, I don't know, you know, it's just a, I feel like they got good meat. Yeah. You know, you mentioned church. You ever looked at ingredients on bones? Don't even do it to yourself. If you eat a hamburger. Yeah.

Just go to the bread aisle and try to buy some bread. Go, this looks like healthy bread. And then pick it up and flip it over and look at the ingredients. Like, why do you need all that in there? And then when we were kids, they told us this is literally the foundation of your health. Yeah. The food pyramid. It starts with this bread. Yeah.

Still tastes delicious, though. Bread still tastes pretty good. Bread is, I mean... Bread is a dessert as an adult. There's no question. I crave bread. All the food is delicious. Yeah. I mean, I love it all. Whatever they're doing, keep doing it. But, you know, try to take the poison out, is all I'm saying. If the poison makes it taste better, and I'm going to die anyways, because here's the thing. We are living longer than we used to. This is the big counter argument. I don't know. I feel like we're starting to... No, I mean, statistically, we're way up. Well, it depends on, you know, what you're eating.

you believe, but on stats,

I mean, you can, we've always been going to old Testament. No, I know. Oh yeah. But that's nothing to do. That's the floods. That was nothing to do with, uh, there was a Bill Gates video out there and Bill Gates owns a lot of farms now. And in the, in the, in the background, Bill Gates had his own stack of books like that. And one of the books was how to lie with statistics. Okay. So you're saying to Melissa, right? It's like, Whoa, it seems that how to lie with statistics, uh,

I agree with you that information, because whatever you want to be true is true, right? So that's the confirmation bias, right? I get that. And people will lie and stuff like that. But people are living longer. We can see that in our own lives. Are we healthier, though? Yeah, fair. But to my point, if I am living longer, even though I'm being poisoned, but the food tastes better...

That's a real cost-benefit analysis I got to make here. Would you trade a shorter life? What if you could trade a shorter life for feeling good the whole time? Like, have you seen Jimmy Carter lately? I mean, that guy, he's still alive. Don't say his name, Brian. Don't kill him. I mean, that guy's still alive. I think I would take the longer life with my gut hurting more and more time with the people I love. I don't know. Ha!

Your stomach's more important than your weight? I just think take... I don't understand your... I'm going to say his name, Jimmy Carter. Oh, no. Not a precedent. We've talked about Jimmy Carter multiple times on here. Yeah. But what are you saying? Have you just seen him lately? He's 100. I know that's what I'm saying. He lived a long time, but he's not looking good. But he looked really good. But Dick Van Dyke looks great, and he's very old, too. And Jimmy Carter was doing great up until just a few... He was still teaching Sunday school class in his mid-90s. Yeah.

So, but, but to your point, he probably has lived a healthy lifestyle. Yeah.

I'm guessing. He only got his food from Canada. He got it sent down. I just think, like, I've read that. Now, I've not done it myself. I want to do it. But people say they go to Europe, they go to Italy, they eat the same way they eat here, eat the same kinds of foods, all their stomach problems go away, they start to feel better, and then they come back here, and then they come back. And I'm not even arguing with that. I'm just saying it does taste really good.

Yeah, take it. And people are living a long time. They say, a lot of people say it's not even the gluten. It's atrazine that's sprayed all over everything. That sounds like a perfume. Yeah. Or it does sound like it is a chemical. Can you get some atrazine on that? I bet you got some on there. Yeah. If you've eaten today, it's seeping out of your pores. Is it in the coffee? That's all I've had today. Actually, they say...

They say there's so much mold. I drink coffee all the time. There's so much mold and pesticides in coffee. It's just unbelievable. You want to try to get organic, mold-free coffee. The one thing I'm very sure about that I drink that is very healthy and good and high quality is coffee. I love coffee. Yeah, I'm a big coffee guy. Love coffee. You really only had coffee today? No, I also had some fruit.

From 8th and Rose across the street. They got a big old fruit bowl thing. It's a good coffee spot. It is a good coffee spot. I hate the idea that there's a Dunkin' Donuts coming over here and somehow Dunkin' Donuts is going to affect their business. Yeah. I hate that. It's unfortunate. America runs on Dunkin'. I've never gone to Dunkin' and wanted to run.

They have a good old-fashioned... You want to go take a nap? No, when I... Yeah, America naps on Dunkin'. Yeah. Yeah. I get that in me, and I'm like, let's go sleep-sleep. It's funny. They do have a good old-fashioned donut, the Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, it's hard to mess the old-fashioned up. It's good. Yeah, it's a good one. Yeah. I'm a Tim Hortons fan, though. You had Tim Hortons? Yeah, Canada, right? Yeah. The little donut holes? Great. They got the Timbits, is what they call them. They have...

sour cream glaze. Yeah. Which sounds disgusting. Yeah. I think Tim Hortons is also coming here. I did. I toured Canada with Chris two years ago. And you remember he had his like little short a catchphrase, right? Yeah. He made a just a Canada shirt in the Tim Hortons font. And it said like short,

Short A, like has Canadians say. Yeah. And it sold so poorly. We all had a bunch of free. I was handing them out to our kids after like this did not sell well. This was a miscalculation. But, you know, merch is hard.

He's doing just fine. Yeah. John's doing all right. What was that? Oh, yeah. Church. So a little different out there. My wife grew up in California. Right. She's a Christian. She said church was definitely more laid back there. Yeah. Vibes. Vibes church.

Some people got baptized in the ocean, which sounds dangerous. I love that. No, baptizing the ocean is great. I mean, Jesus is baptized in a river. What's the difference? Well, you could be like getting ready to do it. Then a big wave comes in like, all right, I guess I'm baptized. How often have you been to the beach? Not a lot because I'm in the South. When you go knee deep in the water, it's not, you're fine. Yeah.

You can wait. There's a lot of little kids out there wakeboarding. They're sharks. Yeah, not that close usually. Usually. There is a formality to the South that I don't care for. Even looking at your guys' senior pictures, these ties and stuff. We didn't do that. It's not like a...

I don't know. It's very formal. Uh, and I just feel like we're getting less formal and I don't like it. I do. I do enjoy format, especially in church. I like that. You like, I never liked the whole, uh, non-denominational church thing where people are wearing, you know, shorts and jeans and it's like, yeah, that's like, let's have a little respect. You know what I mean? You don't have to wear a tuxedo, but you just have some respect. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've just never bought, I bought into that. I don't think God cares. Yeah.

I don't know. Feels like he's happier there. Wouldn't God want you to be comfortable? I think God wants you to be the most comfortable in church. I don't think so. Sweatpants church. Only pajamas church. I think that's what God would want.

God doesn't care. God's like, oh, thank God. I think God wants you to put a little effort into it. I think so, too. I don't think so. Pajamas? You complain about pajamas at Walmart, but you're fine with church? God loves you just the way you are. He does, but he knows. He's like, oh, you're going to dress up to go to the club, but not to visit me. I think he knows if you made it there, that was hard.

If you got up on a Sunday morning and you made it to church, period, I'm not saying unshowered sweatpants. Meet me in the middle. Showered sweatpants, tennis shoes, no sandals.

No? What about the athletic ones? Like, uh... Viore? Viore. Viore Sweat. Can you wear Viore to... I think Viore's nice. That's a nice... Yeah. What'd you tell us about it? Viore's nice. You know what I mean? San Diego company. Let me tell you about our next sponsor, Viore. Okay? Viore is everything you need in clothing when it comes to working out or just lounging around. Or going to church. Or going to church. Yeah. But, yeah. It is by far the most comfortable and best looking thing I wear.

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I get both comfort and care. Yeah. I wear Viore. This is not even part of the ad. Every airport trip, those and my compression socks because I'm a grown up and I love a hoodie. Yeah. I love to put my hoodie on over and then just kind of be in my own little world. But jeans when you travel is a nightmare. Well, Viore is an investment in your happiness. Yeah. See? For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself a

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Listen, I get the idea that the respect thing, like put a little effort for church. I get that. But I'll take it a step further. I want people to wear sweats to my funeral.

Just be comfortable, man. I just don't even feel it. I don't. Maybe this is a primary difference of what? This is a big difference between this out there. There's people where like football players wear suits to games still. They still doing that. Yeah, I like that. Who's that for? You guys don't even win championships much anymore. And you. What level are you talking about? College. I mean, Alabama NFL. You're like 50 50. NFL. I'll wear suits. No, no. They.

They don't? No, they all dress like cool now. They wear like expensive, they wear a lot of sweats. Some of them do. I want you to dress up at my funeral and I want people to be sad and cry. I don't want it to be a celebration of life. I want you to be sad that I'm gone. Do you hope you can watch your funeral like from above?

No, I just want people to be sad. I want them to fast. No food. I don't want you to bring any food. You want to fast. I want everybody to fast. It's poison. I want people to be sad. Yeah. And get it out. I think that's good. You go to a funeral, you cry, you get out your sadness. And then never think of you again? They just want it one and done? I don't expect people to think about me for a long time. We all hope that people will, but they won't. And so it's like- I bet you don't want to be cremated. I don't want to be cremated. I knew that.

Absolutely not. But I don't know that I want you to be looking at me in the casket either, though. Oh, I don't. Open casket. That's a, yeah, that's a, whew. Yeah. Just bury me. Yeah. Just put you under. And a cheap box. I don't even want a nice casket. What do you want to wear? Yeah.

Bury me in Viore. Yeah. You want a nice outfit out of respect for your death? Well, if it's all linen. Clothes casket, go totally nude. Yeah, don't recycle the clothes. Yeah. Give them to Viore. Yeah. Great. All right. Some of these phrases, if you have any Southern phrases you don't understand, please let us know. I have some here for West Coast. Great. Well, the obvious is,

We call it interstate, you got to say freeway. Yeah, yeah. And we don't even refer to it as a freeway very often. We'll just say the freeway, the 5, the 805, the 50. And you put the in front of it. Well, that depends where you're at on the West Coast. Okay. And see, in Washington, you would say I-5. You would say the I-10, the I-8, I-35, I-90, that kind of stuff. In California, we shifted. We used to say pop. Yeah.

Up in Seattle too. So California is its own animal with it. And then we switched to getting used to, you take the five, the 15, but you would say interstate 40, which is just, or I 40, I 65. I really like to, to say out the whole word. Yeah. It's so cumbersome. I like, I, a girl commented, I was asking somebody at work one time, I go, what's your telephone number? And she was like, why do you say all that stuff? Just say, what's your number? I,

I was like, I don't know. I don't know why. Do you like someone giving you directions? No, not. No, I don't. Yeah, that time has passed. Yeah, that time. Do you ever have someone still give you directions? Yeah, I do. And it's like, it's like, come on. Like, like you're, you're telling me and I'm not even listening. He start, they'll start with saying like, go West. And I'm like, I'm out already. Yeah.

I don't know which way is west. Yeah. I don't want to look for any of these things. Yeah. I have a phone. I don't need to know where the sun is so I can see what my first turn is. I recently did a gig in the mountains and they were like, there's no phone signal out here. So I did take some directions. Yeah. But... There's... Yeah. When I was in Tacoma, actually, and had to drive to Portland, my...

charging port stopped working on my phone and I was about to die and I had to look up an Apple store in right down directions. Yeah, old school. And drive to the Apple store in Tacoma. Yeah. Thankfully, that's one freeway the whole way. That Tacoma... It's I-5, right? I-5, yeah. It's a pretty drive. Tacoma Mall is...

I mean, I got there right when it opened Sunday at 11. Yeah. Dead, as you might expect when it first opens. Yeah. I'm like, this place is dead like most malls. I go to that Apple store, packed. It's 1103. It's already packed. That's true everywhere. The Tacoma Mall has an Apple store? That's come a long way. When I was growing up, the Tacoma Mall had a gorilla. You can Google it. It's a real... There was a gorilla at the... Like a real gorilla? A real gorilla. Wow. This was in my life.

It's like it wasn't even that long ago. Yeah. Yep. There we go. The true story of Tacoma's Shepi Mall Gorilla. Not as rosy as the Disney version. Oh, boy. I may have to read this off air. Yeah. So what I'm saying is they've come a long way.

To go from- Tacoma's pretty wild. Tacoma is one of the more wild cities I've ever been to, and I've been there a lot. My wife went to high school in Tacoma. She went to Stadium High School, which if you've seen the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, is that high school. It's very- Yeah. Nice. Congrats on that. Yeah. I liked that movie. It was a good movie. Early Heath Ledger. I just watched it recently on a plane. Yeah. I probably never would have watched it, but I was on a plane. I was like, you know what? I'll watch it. Yeah. It's great. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Yeah. Yeah.

um larry miller right the comedian is the dad it's great it's very funny and and and and uh the girl the uh julia styles yeah that's great yeah for that era of movie it's very fun really good yeah i miss those kind of movies okay here's one i didn't know uh sig alert sig oh that sounds like a kid thing like is this like is this come from sigma i thought it was like about traffic oh sig alert no i don't know sig alert what about grom

I don't know that one. I'm also 40, so I don't... Does your son surf? Just speaking about the interstate, you remember Make Him Say Um by Master P? Yeah. He said, hit Interstate 10, rolling to Texas. Yeah, it's a good rap lyric. It's a good lyric and a song. Also, there's a song, Riding Dirty on 85. They don't say it. Yeah, you know, Interstate Highway love song, right? The Stone Temple Pilots song? That's better because it's not just like...

I-5 love song. That's not as good. Interstate is a good word. I'll give you that. Yeah. We would say interstate. We would say interstate 85. And if you were to do it comedically, you would say that. You're like, now we're broke down on the interstate. Yes. Yeah. It's a funny word. Yeah. Yeah. I'll allow it. What about you've driven a lot in the South? You've driven in California, I would assume. Yeah. Yeah. Drivers here too slow for you?

I, I don't like driving in LA at all, but other places I've drove around California. It's great. Yeah. California, there is an aggression to the driving that again, that's not California versus West coast. Cause even when I go back to Seattle, I'm like, get moving. Cause I've been like 15 over. It's kind of like an opening bid.

Like on the freeways in California. If you're going the speed limit, you're the slowest car there. Yeah, I'm an aggressive driver. And so I like driving in aggressive places. Yeah, I like driving in aggressive places. I think it's fun. I like Atlanta. I mean, I don't like traffic. That's the problem with LA. So much traffic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like there's no real driving. You just...

you get on the interstate in LA and you're like, you think, all right, I'm hitting the interstate. And then it's like standstill traffic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Listen to Nate land. Yeah. For your 20 minute, 20 mile drive. Yeah. Whole episode. Now on the West coast, if there's a funeral procession coming, you guys pull over.

Yeah, yeah. Pull over, put their sweats on. Yeah. I have not seen a lot in my life. A lot of funeral possessions? Yeah. Maybe there's more people dying here, but... Well, back to the food. I'm still amazed that that is a thing that people do. I mean, I think it's great, but when I see cars pulled over...

I don't know that they do it like they used to. Probably not, but I still see it. Used to be when I was a kid, it was like a real respect thing. Every time you saw a hearse. I mean, I don't even see those much anymore, but you would pull over and when there was not a lot of cars, it made you sad for the person. There is a... You know what I mean? You get in line just to get through traffic. That kind of speaks to like...

the just the general formality of the South and that lacks on the West Coast. And in large part, it's because the West West Coast culture is much newer. Like we don't have as old of stuff. Like I had a teacher in college say, like, you need to study. You need to go to the South because American history is real in the South, because like where we live, like

like you see like, I don't know, an outdated Mervin's and that's like American history. I don't even know what that is. Yeah, exactly. Is that a grocery store? Yeah, it's an old department store. Like that's, we don't have old stuff. I mean, we have like missions and stuff, but it's like tied a little more into like Mexican culture and in the,

in the Northwest, there's a lot of native American culture. Like, so, but as far as like, uh, you know, the wars were fought out here. Right. And so there is a, there is a history and there's also, yeah, that formality and respect like the, you know, yes, sir.

Yes, ma'am. I love that. And where I live, you would just say, well, would you like me to call you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are no assumptions of sirs and mayors. Yeah. Yeah, sir and ma'am is such a nice, respectful thing. I love it. Yeah. I'm a big fan. I am a huge fan and use regularly y'all. Y'all is perfect.

Y'all's good. No, it's better than good. The most good. It is the most. Y'all is the best greeting of people there is. It's better because it's, not to get political in any way, but it is gender neutral in the sense that it does cover the whole group. We're way ahead of our time. We really were. It covers the whole group. It's not clunky. It's very smooth. Y'all's very elegant. I think y'all is the South's best export. Yeah.

And I'm for everybody adopting it. I write it. I type it. What do you say instead? Like you guys? Hey, everybody. What do you guys say? Yeah, I say y'all. I just adopted it. I think I'm all for y'all. At some point, I stopped saying y'all.

because I used to say it all the time and I was waiting tables. Yeah. I just found myself saying it like a million times to one table. Because you had to greet people so often. So I started like trying to mix it up. Yeah. And then y'all just kind of disappeared. Interesting. I started bringing it back a little bit. Yeah. It's just very smooth. It's very, it's, I like it. It's a hey everybody. How's everybody? I like you guys. Yeah. How you guys doing? I don't like you guys. I like you. I am.

I don't like you guys. You guys should switch. I did the dusty. I love the South and living in it, but I don't like in Gatlinburg and those areas, Pigeon Forge, where they play up where all the words on the signs are spelled wrong on purpose. They probably spell y'all Y-A-W-L. And there's always some...

Yeah. It's placed to the stereotype that I don't like. Which, that's funny because my, I have a lot of things that I don't like about the West Coast and this is not unique to the West Coast but it, because I think it's true of the Northeast. One of my favorite, one of my least favorite things is a lot of their attitude towards the South. Yeah.

which is, you know, just dumb simpletons, you know, like that kind of like, and it's like, it's just sort of that term like coastal elite comes from. And I hate that just because it's so naive and it's very ignorant. It's very close. My, you're like, guys, I mean, you, you come down here and you're like, you know, Vanderbilt's in the South, right? You know, you got NASA in the South. There's some smart people. And also it's just very like, it's very dismissive. So I, I don't care for that, but I,

It doesn't help when you do stuff like that. There are dumb people everywhere. There are so many dumb people. I mean, I live in San Diego. There are a lot of dumb dumbs. It's just the amount of lifeguards that we have. I love San Diego. I love San Diego. It's my favorite city. But there's so many dumb people.

San Diego reminds me a lot of Charleston, like a bigger version. Yeah? Yeah. That makes sense of why I like Charleston so much. They just remind me a lot of each other. Yeah. San Diego's great. I really... It was... Our kids...

You were in SD a couple months ago, weeks ago. My wife went to your show. She had a great time. Oh, yeah. And thank you for the tickets for her and her friends. And you did a thing because we had like our big heat wave there. Yeah. And you did a story about you're like, I'm not, I'm

I'm not really feeling this. Oh, yeah. My Uber driver was like, yeah, we're in the middle of a heat wave right now. I'm like, well, I live in Tennessee. This is fine. Which, so my kids, for the last three years, we go to Alabama every summer because there's a camp that we serve at there. And that's what our kids were saying all week during the heat wave. They're like, we've been to Alabama in July. Oh, yeah. This is nothing. Yeah. I used to go to my grandmother's house.

in July in Alabama and she had no air conditioning. Yeah. Do you have air conditioning now? So that's funny. Aaron, I think someone brought that up on the pod, right? We, we did not for a long time. We didn't have heat or air conditioning because you didn't really need it. Yeah. Uh,

and now we do have it. Uh, and it is nice. It's like a couple weeks during the winter where it's nice. Cause you know, you wake up in the house and lower sixties is that's a cold house, you know? Uh, and it does get, cause San Diego is desert. Like it's a desert on the ocean. So it gets,

It's legitimately, it's not freezing, but it'll be in the 30s at night. That's cold. 30s is cold. So yeah, we do have heat and AC now, but we don't run it that often.

And we're renters because we live in California. So when we do run it, it's on the landlord. Right. When I was in San Diego, I said this recently on the podcast. I thought San Diego, everyone told me sunny year round, perfect weather. And I was there in May. They're like, yeah, May gray. May gray. June bloom. June bloom. I know. I like to think that I'm a good person, but I know I got some bad in me because I like seeing unhappy tourists in May and June. There's a little part of me that's like, yeah. Right.

I saw that twinkle in your eye when I told you that. Yeah, I don't know why. I'm not saying this in a way that I'm proud. Is there any stereotype about the South that you want to ask us? Because I got one for you, for Pacific Northwest. Well, what is the general Southern reputation towards the West Coast? And I know that that's Greg, because I remember Aaron Weber. I was with Aaron Weber the first time he went to California. Yeah.

And he was like, hey, you know, we were just told Grunow, California is the land of fruits and nuts, you know, like, and I don't know if that's, that's got lots of meaning to it, right? And I didn't say who said that to him. He didn't, those weren't his words. And so is there like a...

Sometimes I feel like when people from the South are thinking of California, it's almost like they think of us as aliens, like it's like a totally different group of people than them. But I don't know. What is the general? Well, I think, I mean, most people that I know just think kind of what you have just said, that they're just judgmental and they think everyone from the South is stupid. Yeah. That's funny because then we're doing it right back at you. Well, it's like, like I said, though, my sister went there. Yeah. And loved it.

Yeah. And we're talking L.A. I mean, we're not talking. No, that's the belly of the beast. I've been to many rural parts of California, which are no different than any other place in the country. Then I always like to point out and, you know, country folk will survive. He mentions California in that. Yeah. Like from North California. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

But I've not even been that far in North California. I've been to Modesta. Bakersfield. Merle Haggard is from California. That's kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeff Gordon. Yeah. That I can see. Sorry he was so good. What, he won four championships in a row? No, I'm saying that we just talked about last week. He was the pretty boy. He wasn't the real, you know, guys hated him. Everyone hated him because- Because he won.

Yeah. They wouldn't have cared so much if he was 13th every year. Well, that's true. Yeah. And he was on Hendrix. So, but, but I, I think that's the thing that people say the most. And, and, and I do think it's true to an extent, but when I go to LA and I go to, I mean, it's like, everybody's so nice to me. I don't, uh,

I don't have any problems. I never have problems talking to people. Even in New York City, for that matter. I know we're not talking about New York City, but I go to New York, and I'm Southern, and I talk to people, and I don't have any problems. Nobody is like, oh, who's this hillbilly? I mean, everything's fine. Right, right. Probably helped for your sister that she probably had low standards, expectations for LA. Yes, sure, yes. So it exceeded them. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's true. It is unfortunate that a lot of...

Like a lot of the South think poorly of the way of the cities in the West Coast. But it is it is in some ways earned by a lot of coastal elites who genuinely and I'm here to tell you, as people interact with genuinely do think that they are better people than people of the South. But I do think that people in the South have that, too. I don't think that's a coastal like a regional thing. That's a sure that's a person thing.

thing. My way of life is superior to your way of life. Yep. I found very few comedians who still think that way, though, because like I heard Foxworthy say about this in an interview is like, I've traveled. I've done it all. It's like people are the same. Yeah.

They really, and I feel that same way too. Like it's just, I've been to every state, most cities in America at this point, people are the same. Especially when you drive. I've drove so many places where you actually, on the way to cities, you drive through small towns and it's like, yeah, you meet people and it's like, it really is. The accents change. Yeah. The names of the grocery stores change. Yeah. But it's the same. But they're all serving you poison bread regardless. Exactly. Exactly.

100%. But in California, you can actually, it feels like you can find local, I found a local brand. I don't remember what it was, but a local brand of wraps. And I was only in California for like four or five days. And before I left, they were already moldy. And I'm like, this is what I'm looking for. I'm looking for food that goes bad. Food that turns. Yeah. Well, you growing up, like,

Growing up, like, in the trailer, and I always grew up lower poverty. We weren't in the trailers, but, like, we didn't have a lot of fresh food. You have a lot of preserved food. Yeah. And so, you know, you've been eating that your whole life, too. Oh, yeah. But, you know, even back then, though, our bread would get moldy. Like, my bread almost never gets moldy now. Like...

I remember me and my mom would like pick the mold off the bread and just eat. That's good old-fashioned poverty right there. Yeah, yeah. But it was like, it would go bad. It would go bad. Gosh, that's interesting. Remember when bread would go bad? It never goes bad now. I never thought about it, but you're right. It does seem like it lasts a lot longer now. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to ask you for a, I don't even know if this is a stereotype of Pacific Northwest, but have you ever met anyone who's seen a Bigfoot?

My grandpa claimed to. All right. It's not a scandal. It's real. Thank you, Grandpa. Yeah, no, my grandpa, who just passed last year, he...

Yeah, he went to his grave swearing that he, I think, was on a fishing trip because he was an avid fisherman. He lived in Crescent City, California, which is the very northern tip of California. Like you leave the Redwoods and you're in on the 101 and very it's pretty much Oregon.

like what it's like up there. And he would lead like fishing trips and he would fish on the ocean. He was a crab. He was a great guy. He was a PE teacher for a long time. And like Return of the Jedi was filmed in the Redwoods there. And he took like a fishing expedition with Harrison Ford. Wow. He was awesome. My grandpa ruled. Great guy. But he went to his grave swearing. I think the story was he came out of his tent one day and just saw some...

huge, crazy creature scale up a wall with arms that a human never could. And he was like, yeah, no, I saw Sasquatch in the woods. Yeah, so... I knew my grandpa pretty well. He didn't seem like a liar. Yeah.

I believe it. Yeah, I hope so. I want it to be true. I do too. Yeah, I want most of the mythical creatures to be real. It'd be more fun if they were. It would be. Yeah, the giant squid versus sperm whale wars. I want that one to be true. Who knows what's going on in the depths of the ocean? Literally, yeah, nothing. Yeah, nobody. Mm-hmm.

All right. I guess we need to wrap this up. We got a show here in 53 minutes. This has been great. Oh, yeah. So it's the most we've ever talked. I know we had cigars one time. And oh, yeah, that's right. With Alec. Yeah. Yeah. Dusty and I have one last story. Dusty, Dusty, John and I were all in Phoenix in the same weekend and we were like texting about meeting up.

And Dusty was the first to articulate it. And then we all agreed. Dusty's like, I think I'm good. Yeah. I mean, I'd love to see you guys, but it's, uh, yeah, it's like a lot to try to meet up. Yeah. Like, I think I just want to watch football and stay in my house. Yeah. It is funny how, if you happen to be in the same town, you just feel like, oh, well we should meet. Yeah. You're like, no, but then you wake up on Saturday and you're like, but me and you and Willie Simon and Alec parent had, uh, that's right. And, uh, Brea and Brea. Yeah.

fine american city yeah a couple of nights in a row we did that's nice yeah that was a nice time i got covid right after that first time yeah yeah and you and i just think one more thing electric vehicles are just becoming the thing in california i think california made that you can't they were not going to sell them after a certain year i think it's still like 20 yeah it's a ways out

Which I don't mind an electric car. What do I? I don't know. Electricity seems good. I'm not into it. Yeah. What do you not like about them?

I don't know. I just don't like... You keep trying to end. I'm sorry. No, it's all right. I bet you don't like that they're telling you you have to. Well, to get electricity, you still have to burn coal. Right. So it's like we're not really accomplishing... I don't know how electricity works. I don't think we're really accomplishing the thing we hope to accomplish. Is that true? Do you have to burn coal to get electricity? I think so. I think it's a lot better for the environment to...

do electric cars is that true that you have to burn coal does anybody know except for the batteries they say that you have to in order to get the batteries you actually ruin large chunks of land mining those lithium yeah I don't believe you or not believe you I don't I turbine generator type of turbine used depends on the energy source

Yeah, this is... It might be some research to do. We tried to... You tried to end this. You can just cut that all off. I was so interested. Fossil fuels. I'm still going. Nuclear, renewable, wind. All right. Brian, why did you look so old senior year? And why did Aaron look so young? That's what I want to... To me, Aaron's picture seems elementary. Yeah, yeah. It seems way too young. And you...

Seemed too old. Probably for the same reason. Arians was airbrushed because by then they could do things like that. Oh, yeah. You look like the lead actor in Night Court. I was into some stuff. Remember that movie? Harry Anderson. Harry Anderson. You look like Harry Anderson. I was into some things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, at that time...

That is Harry Anderson. It took me a long time to get it together. Yeah, I'm talking about Brian. You are the hardest to identify in any picture. Yeah, yeah. Because you've had a lot of looks over the years. Yeah. But you found you. I do remember that kid. He does look like that guy. At that age. You see that picture right there? Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. When I still had a full head of hair, yeah, people would say I look like Harry Anderson. Yeah. Over time. But you look like 40-year-old Harry.

well thank you yeah all right uh we could wrap that up a long time ago sorry this week uh this thursday um i have an arlington draft house in arlington virginia um why am i drawing a blank oh saturday i'm in clarksville tennessee at this new comedy club jokers comedy house all right dj prior that's right um

Next Tuesday is my next Brian Bates and Friends here at the Lab at Zany's, Tuesday, October 22nd. Last month, we had Nate running his SNL monologue. We had Angela Johnson doing new jokes for her upcoming special. You never know who you're going to see here. We've got another great lineup. So come to that Tuesday, October 25th.

I'm at Lifeway Church in Lebanon, Pennsylvania. This is the Dustin Nickerson five-year-ago tour. All great shows, so come check me out. This coming weekend, I am in Louisville Comedy Club in Louisville, Pennsylvania.

Kentucky. I'm doing five shows there, I think. The club weekend. And then the following weekend, I'm at Wise Guys downtown Salt Lake. I was just at Little Company Club. Yeah. It's a good club. With A.E. Bauer. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I'm there. And then Salt Lake...

And that's my birthday weekend. Come turn 40 with me. All right. Yeah. Happy birthday. Thank you. Well, I'm off this weekend, but Monday I'll be at the Ryman. I've already talked about it. Yeah. The Ryman, a benefit for to raise money for hurricane victims. And it'll be Leanne Morgan, John Chris, Charlie Behrens and me. Going to be a great lineup show. And then next weekend, I'm going to be doing my Tennessee run. I'll be in Memphis and in Knoxville.

So bad routing. It is, it is a tougher routing than I think most people would know. And there's no direct flight from Nashville to Memphis, no direct flight from Memphis to Knoxville. It's a, yeah, it's a, it's a rough run. You picked a good Saturday though, because Tennessee's off that. It is. So yeah. So come out. It's a big theater. It's probably the, in Knoxville is probably the biggest theater I've ever done. So come buy some tickets. Congrats. I filmed a special in Knoxville.

This is probably the only comedy special ever on Netflix to be filmed in Knoxville. I think Henry chose, well, it wasn't Netflix, though. Where'd Leanne film hers? Lexington. Lexington Opera House. So come out. I'm putting Knoxville on the map out here.

Yeah, Henry Cho did one. Yeah. What has Leanne done to help Knoxville? Come on. You know what I mean? Come on. I think, I say it every week, I think Aaron's going to be back next week. I hope so. I'd love to hear. I think he avoided me. I don't think he wanted to share his return with me, and that's fine. Yeah. Aaron and I have had bad blood for a long time. Nate certainly avoided you. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I think Nate's avoiding the Nate Land podcast. Yeah. No, he's in there in the other room right now. Waiting for you to leave.

He's been texting Nate the whole time. Yeah, exactly. But I think that's it. Dustin, great to see you. Thanks, guys. Thanks for having me. Super fun. All right. Thanks, guys. Well, have a good time. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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