214: #214 The Senses Part 2 - Taste featuring Greg Warren
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Stay farm and DJ Dramos from Life as a Gringo. No making smarter financial moves today secures a financial freedom for a successful tomorrow. Now we have a level of privilege that our parents never had. So what do we do with it, right? How do we utilize the opportunities that we have that they don't, right? And a lot of that is educating ourselves, educating ourselves on how to not make the same mistakes they did.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm, proud sponsor of My Cultura Podcast Network. Today's episode of the Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp Pesty. Pesty. Pesty. Sorry, Pesty. BetterHelp Pesty. Game time and rocket money. Hello, folks, and hey, bear. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm neighbor Getzey, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. All right. And sitting in.

Your least favorite. We did a vote. The person you don't want on, please still force him on. Your boy, Greg Warren.

Hi, guys. Dump Greg. Hashtag Dump Greg. Yeah. We got Dump Dusty. We're trying to get. There's no Dump Greg guy. Everybody likes Greg. So there is no. That's the thing. Even Dump Dusty guy who likes to dump people is like, come on, dude. Greg's the man. I know. He wants to dump Dusty to get Greg. Yeah. Yeah. Which a lot of people feel. He's got poor judgment. Yeah. Yeah.

They'll be a dumb Greg guy now. He'll be one of my friends. It's going to be someone that you know. Yeah. We should say last time we mentioned Greg on the podcast, we were like, it's crazy he hasn't done the Grand Ole Opry.

And now, in a couple weeks... These guys got some juice, man. Oh, you're on the Grand Ole? I got an email like two days later. Oh, man. Is that crazy because you grew up listening to that radio station? Are you blown away by it? Yeah, well, me and Junior Sample came up together. And I always felt like his career took off, where mine just never... Let's sell it out. Let's sell it out for you. Yeah, man. Who's on the show with you?

When are you doing it? Two weeks. Wednesday, September 4th. Oh. I see who you got. And the way they book these shows is this will fill up in the next week or so. But yeah, Greg's on here, man. It's awesome, dude. With Chase Matthew and then Justin Moore. Justin Moore. Greg Warren. Big time. Yeah. Simple name. My dad's... I'm flying my dad and his wife in for the show, man. Oh, that's awesome. I'm real excited about it. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't really...

I want to come to a whole lot of shows on the road, but he was all about that one. Feel free to talk in your microphone. Oh, I've never done this before. They're not going to have these at the Opry, are they? No.

All acoustics in there. Okay, good. I've never seen an interview with someone like they don't. Oh, yeah. Like they don't understand it. They're like, what's that? And you're like, I don't know if this person gets it. Aaron's old podcast that he did, he interviewed Brad Sativa, and I thought he had the microphone in the other room half the time. Come on, dude.

I was enjoying it, and I was like, Brad, pick it up. I couldn't see him, but he gets so far away. Greg, isn't this your first time in here? Yeah, this is amazing. So it's harder now because we're beside you. You're not used to this. You're used to where we would be straight on. Yeah, I'm also – I don't know why you put me in the middle. I feel a lot of pressure almost on this deal. No, it's where we can cut the most. Okay. Yeah. Now I get it. The way the cameras are, you're going to be – there's going to be a line in between your –

You and us. Is there a chance that I'm not even on this podcast? That's the main reason. Okay. They were doing it just for camp for spacing on the cameras. We go, what if you had like a Greg Warren body? Yeah.

I think we can actually get Greg. No, we just need a body like Greg. I'm cheaper than renting a dummy. Yeah, mannequins are tough to get. Oh, yeah, man. We weren't having to go through so much. So welcome. We're glad to have you, Greg, and everybody listening at home. We're pumped. Quick thing about the Nate Land podcast.

entertainment aspect of we're doing. I think we're doing some great things with Nate Land Entertainment. The idea of it is to make Nate Land good, clean, funny. This is all kind of new that we're starting this. But Nate Land Entertainment, we have the showcase. So we started taping the showcases again. You might have seen it. Last week we had Michael Palisak. His came out. Great, super funny. We shot them all here. This week we have Mia Jackson.

All right. Mia Jackson. Both great people. Great. Both funny. I've opened for both of them back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very funny. They're both hilarious. Yeah. I hosted that showcase. It was so great. All the comics did really well. So the sets came out really well. So go watch them. They're like short, 10 minute, easily digestible. Go in and, and these are some of the best comics in the country that are coming here to do this. So it's, uh, it's really cool that we, that we got all of them. Yeah. It's, uh,

Yeah, social is Nate Land Entertainment. So you can see all this. I think it's Nate Land Entertainment. You can figure that out also. Not a very good company when we're like...

We rely on you guys to tell us what it is. But it's stuff you see with this podcast. But I think we're really trying to build out something, and this showcase is a big part of it and all that. So go watch it and follow these guys, all these comics. Michael Palacic was last week. Is this still up? Then Mia Jackson just came out this week. Yeah. You did a show with her. Mia and I were on –

a BET show. Yeah. It was, it was called coming to the stage. Yeah. And it was like a, it was like a contest. Yeah. Um, like almost like last comic standing, but on BET. Did you do every channel's last comic standing? Yeah. Yeah. I think I did. I thought of that joke, uh, when you talked about, so here's the backstory with that joke. I was going to say it earlier.

because we were talking about this and then I was like well I'll save it yeah and then I was like well now I gotta get him to save the exact same thing so you didn't really care whether I did a show with Mia you were just trying to get me to yeah no Mia I don't think Mia cares yeah but it's if you'd have just given me the lines I'd have read them you read the top of your paper there I mean

I was pretty excited about it. Who won that contest? Joe Recca. Oh, yeah. Extremely funny guy. I made the finals. I think I was in the top four or five. Yeah, and then...

lil duvall was in the probably the guy that he probably popped the biggest out of that yeah he's popping yeah he's big he's big and then a guy named spank horton who's uh you guys don't know spank spank's one of kevin hart's guys i think okay philly guy and then um yeah it was and bruce bruce was the was the host yeah oh that's awesome yeah yeah i uh and uh

Yeah, there was a lot of different celebrity judges, and Paul Mooney was one of the judges at the time. And everybody was telling me, yeah, Paul Mooney hates white people, man. That's his whole act is he hates white people. And so I had to go up in front of him, and I was, like, terrified. And he goes, you, you white. He goes...

but I like my white people white. So you okay? I was like, that's as good as it gets right there. Oh, he liked that you weren't trying to be something that you were. Yeah. Yeah. And I wasn't. But then I listened, like, you know, this was 2004 or something. So I was a little bit,

less experience and I watched some of it and there is a certain affectation in my voice I'm like oh god what are you doing you're like one of these politicians here goes Greg now he's in Alaska's last comic stand and he's like oh boy

He goes, you're like, oh, man. Greg can't. That's all he does. Does Alaska have a last comic standing? They have their own. Okay, I can get in on that. Not a lot of people in it. And I did the regular last comic standing with Palestine. Yeah, that's funny. That was, yeah.

That's the whole point. It's like, I like the idea of like, as comics, we're all like, we've all tried everybody's last comic. Oh yeah. Like if anybody's like, Hey, we're trying to do that. You're like, yeah, you can get us. We would do. I never made it to any of them, but yeah, I wasn't.

Did you try out? Yeah, I tried out. Really? It's the one thing. Craig, he loves it. I feel like you're the reason I didn't make it. He probably said, don't take it. Not him, man. Not him, man. This guy's going nowhere fast. Yeah.

uh it was the only it was the thing that i didn't get that hurt me the most really it was in new york i because i just i was clean i might have talked about this before i don't know but it's like letter like letterman was a tough one for me yeah and uh and last comic standing because i was clean i was like i'm doing everything you're asking us to do i'm doing it yeah and then i did it

And I never got through. And I was like, I couldn't understand it because I was like, I'm the only one that's even built for it. I mean, not you're built for it. Everybody's built for it. Who won the year you were trying to get in? Might have been Liza Schlesinger.

but then amy schumer i tried to get in a few i went every year i went so i waited in line in chicago when i first started you know i wasn't upset about all the ones leading up a waiting line in front of caroline to spend the night on the sidewalk and i did all this stuff i was out there four in the morning it's freezing and all this stuff i did all of that but by the time i got to because because like a lot of these shows

people don't have to wait. There's people that are waiting in line and then you get to a point where you're slotted. Yeah. So you kind of get past the waiting in line. So then I got slotted for one at Caroline's and then it was at Gotham was like, all right, I was now I was getting slotted and I was going to be looked at by the judges. So I was at least making it to that level. And, uh,

And they just said no on it. And I mean, that one, because it was like everything was leading up to like, all right, now. Aaron likes it too. It's just funny that you do a set and they just go, now. I don't see it. I think I remember some of your notes. Nothing else, just now. It was, I did a homeless, I had a joke about the monkey DNA.

About saying like if evolution is real or saying like I don't believe in evolution. It's I got we have the same DNA as a monkey. Ninety eight percent. Well, that two percent is very important. You know, so that's the idea of that joke. And then I joke about a homeless guy like we see a guy homeless sleep on the ground. It looks like he's having the best sleep of his life.

And you're like, he has better sleep than I do in my bed. That's actually totally true. That's a good joke. But Geraldo told me, which I love Geraldo, but he was just like, he goes, in my head, I'm going, I'm giving you A, I'm the only person

That's giving you a joke where I'm saying, I do not believe in evolution. So that's my, that's the point. The whole point of it is that I, no one, everybody else is going to tell you everything else. I'm at least coming from a place that's a different place. And then, but he said that between that and the homeless joke, he's like, they didn't as a set, they didn't mold together.

which when I think back on it, it makes sense. Because then you have three minutes. So you're like, you need... It would have been better to do three minutes on my wife than it would be... Yeah. In my head, I thought I'll do two jokes that are the, you know, the...

Homeless ones like my New York edgy joke where it's like, you know, I'm not dirty, but that's my kind of, you know, it's like, well, homeless people sleep good on the street. And then the other one, which would be kind of like I thought of like the edgy joke of that. So I think I'm giving them what they want. I wasn't. And, you know, I did learn from it. Yeah. But it hurt. It hurt. One of them hurt me bad, man. Mm-hmm.

Well, Dusty did his whole Last Comic Standing set on one topic, right? Yeah, I made it to what they called the final 100. So I don't know how many were involved. I don't know if there's 100 comedians. But I made it.

I auditioned here in Nashville, and then I got flown to New York, auditioned again, and then I got flown to L.A. for that, and that was TV. So you were on TV then? No, they never showed my clips. You can see you. You can see you at one point. Yeah, I was in the background and stuff. But the, you know, I did it all. I did all fish jokes.

and Roseanne kind of gave me a similar note but she was like you had a good middle no beginning no end yeah and then Kenan Ivory Wayans told me it was too many jokes on one subject yeah Kenan told him yes three is a lot and then uh did you say that I didn't say that and then Norm MacDonald was the third judge and he said great and very nice things me too man he told me I was gonna be a

well he's wrong but he said i was he said i was gonna be like a sitcom star or something man and yeah you were older than him i know it was uh and then keenan i think yeah i'd got to where i was on tv or whatever and norman i had a thing that was really cool and then keenan i think for the second set i did on tv keenan was like

man, it felt like you just had these three jokes about one thing that were all fit together, and you just threw this other joke in there that just didn't even fit. And I was like, man, that is right dead on. That is exactly what I did. What you did learn, what I learned,

is a, you got to look at everything is like, all right, what set do I need? What do I need to do for this situation? And in our heads, as, cause we're younger comics at this point, I'm like fun of you being, but you were younger comic. We're all younger comics.

Is that your ride? There's a siren outside. Just to be clear, that was an ambulance joke, not a police car joke. That was because I'm old and probably have a heart condition. Am I right? I think everybody got that. I wasn't sure. We're all young. Everybody's a young comic, so you're thinking, I'm just trying to do my best three jokes.

And so you're not even remote. We're not at this point. I mean, I've never headlined or you've never molded a set together, but I should have thought you got to think of the set as the city for this situation. These, the thing is you just don't have enough material and stuff. I didn't want to burn up a little. I had it.

yes he had six albums i did i was completely i was so i let him talk i went up like you know and i did well in the first round like real well and then the second round was a semi-finals and i was like last out of like 30 people and i earlier they had like a coaching session with wanda and the producers and i let him talk me out of material that what i went in

I was like the last guy and the crowd was dead. And I tried to like do what I thought was a late night TV set. And I should have just gone in the room and kill, like just do what we know how to do, which is like be a road guy and just kill. But I went with sort of their recommendations. It was stupid. And I, and I, and it wasn't that good. That's true. Well, no, I see that. You know, the hard part with that stuff is, is you're being judged by people that also have a job and don't want to be kicked off the show.

Like in a way they're kicking people off the show, but they're also, if they're not good, then NBC is going to be like, we don't want you on the show. They need this show also. It's not like they don't, they don't take it because it's like I'm retired and I don't need it. So it's a, it's a weird, you're basically the whole world's watching. No one's comfortable. Judges aren't comfortable. The, you know, and they're having to judge people they know, you know, it's their friends. I mean, you know, so it was like such a weird kind of thing.

The first time I did it, I made the semifinals too and I had to follow Lavelle Crawford who did real well and he killed. And Amy Schumer did real well that year. And I met her on that thing and then we actually sort of kind of dated a little bit after that. Briefly. Dropping a bomb. So I didn't make the last conversation and then she broke up with me and his. Yeah. Well, what happened to her? Where is she at? How is she doing? Didn't she date a professional wrestler?

And you're just an amateur wrestler, so I guess I could see the difference. Yeah. Yeah, now that you mention it, it's not real. I remember when that last comic standing happened, and you were pretty upset, and you called me to tell me about it. And what you should have done, if you had it, was call BetterHelp. Oh, okay.

This episode. You called Brian to feel better about something? I called to talk to him. Different times, huh? You were just like, what's been going on in your day? And then you're like, oh, no, I feel better about this. Exactly. Well, yeah, we would always talk. How is it different? Brian, I would call. I know. Multiple times a day. I need to pick me up. Let me call Bates real quick. Let me see what Bates' day has been like. And then he tells you what he's been doing and you feel better about it. Oh, yeah. It's not so bad for me. I don't deny that. That's absolutely true.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Everyone needs self-care. It is non-negotiable. Not with yourself.

It can be negotiated. You do need help. I'm learning more that you do need help. I agree. I'm learning talking is a good thing. You know, I thought I could just do it with Brian. You need professional help. You can't, you know. There's only so long you beat on this drum. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. You need to go actually talk to someone.

You know, as we're trying to build Nate land and try to make this, it's like, I got to sometimes talk to someone even outside of this space. Cause everybody's in this space. And so I need to get stuff off my chest. If you're thinking of starting fit therapy, give better help. A try. It is entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. It really is. Look, honestly, I don't even try to like to tell people to go do therapy or this, but it's like,

If you feel like life is a lot, it's like just go talk to someone and then you can just... When you go back into your world, you're like...

I feel like I got a lot off my chest and now I can handle what I need to do better. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Nate today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Nate. A guy I know said his wife used BetterHelp from listening to this podcast. Oh, really? And that it was very helpful. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. It is a thing that I don't like to, you know, people talk, a lot of people talk about therapy. I don't like...

I it's annoying because I think people do it in a self. I want to do it just for the jokes. Yeah. But you should do it. It's, uh, you know, I was like, yeah, it's just a, it's just the world is crazy, dude. And it's, you just have a name, the world. It's just, you might have a lot on your mind and you don't need to go dump that on the people you love. Yeah. I just want to be able to start my job going. I was talking to my therapist the other day. Yeah. Yeah.

But you might have a thing in your head that you think is just you. And you're like, I'm crazy. And this is, this is, and then, then you talk to the therapist and like, Oh no, that's this thing that a lot of people have. Yeah. There's a name for it. I guess the fear is that, that they go, you are crazy. Yeah.

That's right. You don't want confirmation. They go, wait, you're thinking what? Hold on. Let me call some people. Y'all got to hear this. Y'all got to call the cops. Joe, we got a maniac over here. One more housekeeping thing we should get into before we get into the podcast. Nick Thune, friend of the pod. Yes. And who does shows with Nate all over. He's recording a special here September 8th. Yeah. Here in Nashville at The Lab. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. I'm recording the night before, so that's a fun Nate Land weekend. Yeah, great Nate Land weekend. Sold out, right? Nate Land special, a Nate Land thing. Yep, yep. All right. Yeah, so it's exciting, man. Nate Land entertainment. Nick Newton's so funny, very funny. I had to follow him on a couple of Nate shows, and he's...

He's very funny. He's just great, man. So come on out and check those out. Nick's been around. Nick was probably, probably did Last Comic Sandwich too. Nick's been around for as long as we have. Like it's a. Real different. Yeah. Different cat. Yeah. We've been around a long. When did you, I'd make fun of, but I started in 03. When did you start? Um, I quit my day job in 01. I,

But I've been doing it like, you know, hosting and stuff in different cities. So what do you say when someone says, when did you start comedy? I tell them, I hate that question. I usually, for some reason, I just say. He makes it way more difficult than it should be. They ask you, well, I say I had a lot of false starts, you know? And they say like, how long have you been doing it? And they just want to walk away. No, they're like, Greg, I didn't even want to talk to you. I'm just trying to just say a number so I can leave. And you're like, ah, well, you know,

I started 1985. I got up and I thought about doing it, but I was 35 years old. I had a family and I thought I can't leave my family. Some of this is not all that far from the truth. I mean, cause I'll ask you, there'll be like, uh, what, you know, Hey man, how long you been doing it? Yeah. You know? And sometimes it's like,

I read too much into it, but I know sometimes if it's in an open mic or something, it's a guy that's starting, I'll be like, I got to be able to chart where I'm at. And I'm just like, I always just go, long time, dude. And they see it in your eyes. And then a couple of them will try one more time, but I mean, when'd you start? I'll be like,

Long time, dude. You're like, you remember 9-11? Yeah, that year. I got on stage in college in 1991. I know that. Wow. Yeah. You were in college in 91? Yeah, man. I was a senior. That's because you don't want to say that you've been doing it for 35, 40 years. Nate, I mean, but I quit. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's part of it. Honestly, I'm probably like, well, you should be way better. Yeah.

You got a Seinfeld open for you. The longer it goes, the more I do want to shorten it, though, when I tell people things. Didn't Seinfeld, because we saw Yakov in a show that I did with you, and didn't he say he opened for Yakov? That's crazy, man. Crazy as why.

That's wild, man. Yakov was huge. He was doing 3,000 seat theaters. Wow. No one was even doing that. Like, that was back when no one did theaters. Seinfeld said he's like, I've never even seen anything like it. It was like, this is nuts. Yeah. No, I know what you mean. I'm joking. It's the, it's, yeah, you, I say 03 is when I moved to Chicago. So I just say 03. And then, so I've been doing it 21 years. But you've been on stage before that.

so you're no never no i went on stage first time in 03 so i'm counting the i almost if i can find it there is a clip of me online one of your i think your third ever set is on youtube yeah somebody sent it to me yeah really you see a little bit of you in there but it it's a third it's a third ever set you gotta look you see a little bit where you're like oh there's a that's a thing i didn't watch it i don't know if i could

Yeah, old, old, old like that is hard. Terrible. It's terrible. Do you even remember the jokes? You have a whole bit about y'all use the compass a lot up here. I remember that joke, yeah. And then they say, well, the river's always east. And you're like, well, I can't see the river. Yeah, the lake. The lake, the lake, yeah. Yeah, man, that was the first joke that murders.

That was the first kind of relatable joke I had because it was in Chicago. And they would go... I'd use that joke a lot later. I might use the Cumbas joke on something on TV. It's coming back next time. On CMT. I think I did on CMT. So some of these jokes held on. But the... Yeah, the Lake one was... Because in Chicago, they'd go...

Remember, the lake is east. That's how they told you to get around. So if you were like, come, go walk north. You're like, well, the lake's east. Well, I can't see the lake. And that's it. Chicago, dude, was like, come on. They loved it. And so that was the first kind of relatable experience.

And then that with the compass and you do that and then our compass. Compass, yeah. Compass, my bad. See, you would have said compass and then everybody's like, what? And then it's a whole. They would have just been like, this guy's not from around here. It would take them a second to get it.

They go, what is this guy talking about? That's a pretty good joke to have, though, as one of your first jokes. Well, I had like... Child prodigy. Red fox impressions. That's terrible. I'm a child prodigy that took all the times of the child years. It's the opposite of a child prodigy. Yeah. No one knew I was a child prodigy. I was trying to tell them I'm a child prodigy. They didn't understand it. They go, I don't know. I don't know.

Where do y'all want to say we are at this? I don't know where I was at. I was home. You were at the Wilson County Fair. I was at the Wilson County Fair. Oh. Yeah, I went to the Wilson County Fair. Funny enough, Saturday Night Live aired that night where I talk about the Wilson County Fair. It re-aired. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, crazy. And I did not realize that until we were talking. And so Wilson County Fair is great, fun, glad we went. It rained. It was a zoo.

because we were there the first saturday but it's like the only day i could go and so i was like well let's just go and then but it was fun uh why am i nate i'm not like i don't it's basically nate land uh my brian bates and friends show here last week all right how was it sold out it was great two in a row back to back back to back back to back baits 100 nate came to the set yeah it was great

Last night, I was in Smithville, Tennessee. That's DeKalb County, of course. At Smithville First Baptist Church. Shout out to them. That's pretty close to McMinnville. You should have went out and stayed at the cabin. Yeah. That would have really helped. Yeah. Yeah. Had a good time. It was one of those where...

They just have the potluck meal and there's nowhere else to go. So you just get your food, sit down at a table with them, just wait until you go and stay. I can't believe you do that. I never, I can't sit with the audience. I try to avoid it. Sometimes you can't. I'll wait in my car, text me when you need me. Let me get a bowl of chili first. I try not to, but a couple times when I have,

it's turned out pretty well you probably end up getting some yes you get like something so you can kind of like be like you start off with just like uh you know you're like oh look i've been watching y'all eat and it's like relatable and then you probably have a better set yes yeah i think you do i would feel very uncomfortable all right well i'm gonna start showing up to corporate events early then and be like let me get in on this because i could use a better stuff yeah this is a cool don't do this at the clubs

Don't do it at the club. I've had some late shows at the club. Dude, I've had late shows at the club. I walked in. There's like eight people in the showroom. So I just go, what's up, guys? We're doing this. I might as well. Who am I pretending that I'm hiding from? There's like 10 people here. Yeah. I might just let, hi, I'll see you in a couple minutes. In between shows? Yeah, if I'm walking out of the green room and I see there's nobody there. Shaking hands. Might as well say hi. Thanks for being here.

Yeah. I mean, do they want that? You know, imagine if there's only that many people.

I don't know if any of them know you. So then they're like, I don't know, the help is out here. And they're almost like, he's already seen us now. We can't leave. I know. I'm trying to trap him in. There's some guy that did the Tonight Show one time, his first time on the Tonight Show, and he had these pens that had his name on them. And before the show, he was just giving everybody pens as they walked into the studio. He's like, hey, I'm doing the Tonight Show, man. I'm going to be up here. He gave out merch at the Tonight Show? Yeah, he was giving out free. That's awesome, man.

Think about, I think I got a funny new tour name for you, Bates. All right, let's hear it. Hang on. I'm ready. Bates' tour is called Easier to Drive. Okay.

It's just a tour every gig you get. You go, you want to fly? I think it's just easier if you drive. It's always in a city where there's going to be a layover. You're not writing it down. You only take bookings. None of them are flights. They go, can I fly there? They go, you can't. But I, to be honest, it's probably easier just to drive it.

Not what I was hoping for, but... No. That's a good point. It's good in the sense that, yeah, you show when you're getting to other parts of the country that maybe other comics aren't going to. That's right. You haven't gone full Hollywood like Nate. He's only doing shows in LA. You're reaching different parts of the country. You're going to real America. That's right. Different parts of the state. Different parts of the mid-state. The mid-state. Yeah.

The middle Tennessee kid. He goes, ah, yeah. Now that I like. Boom. You come to Arkansas, he goes, I've been down.

I've been down there. He goes, I'll dabble a little bit in there. I'll stay in Memphis, but I'll drive over. Yeah. West Memphis. He goes, but I'll come over and see what's going on. Yeah. What? Hot Springs? No, we can't have you down that far. No. What are we talking about? I am doing Hot Springs coming up. Yeah. There you go. November 2nd. November 2nd, Hot Springs. That's going to be it.

Come to Dallas. He goes, what are we doing? He goes, what are you doing? He goes, Dallas? Are you out of your mind? I was booked for Dallas, and then I canceled for your SNL, and ticket sales weren't that great, so I can't convince them to bring me back. But what did they advertise as? He went to Nate's SNL. Yeah. This guy. You may see this guy in the crowd at Nate's SNL. Yeah.

That's better than some of the credits I was using earlier. Yeah, you don't cancel. You reschedule. I agree, Dusty. I agree. Tell the owner of the club that. This guy could get Nate on the phone. That's not even really true. In a couple of days. In a couple of days. I could get his sister. I texted you about going to the Wilson County Fair. I said, we're going.

Yeah, you did. I was going to text y'all, but you were gone. I was out of town, yeah. Or you were gone too because we texted this weekend. You were in Texas. So then I was like, I texted...

Were you inviting me to go? Yeah, I said, we're going to the fair today. Just telling you he's going. Yeah, he didn't say. But it's like a text that's like, hey, I'm going to golf at 9. Yeah. I'm not texting. It's like, you know, I think it's right to the point. The invitations implied. I thought you were wanting to know if I could get you free tickets. To the Wilson County Fair. Yeah, we had to pay. We did not get free tickets. But, yeah.

We paid. I was there, as I told you, earlier that day. Michael Clay. Michael was there. I hung out with Michael. Did you go by yourself? No, no. He was just walking around. There was someone I met. This lady is very nice. I had to wait for her husband to get back.

She was like, you got to meet my husband. And he wasn't there. So you just had to hang out. Yeah. She goes at one point, she walks over, and then they were very nice. And then I'm like, and then we start leaving because we're like, all right, well, I don't want to. I don't think I want to.

wait here. And then she's like, hold on. He's almost, he was like already in the car. Wow. Came all the way back. Was he excited? Yeah. Oh, okay. I mean, he didn't know. I don't think she said who you're meeting, but then they were excited and we took a picture and they're very nice, but it was, it was just the moment. Like, just give me two seconds. That would have been terrible if he wasn't excited. Uh, I've had that happen where they maybe get out. I've had it. Uh,

Yeah, I've had it happen where it's, you know, they go, look who this is. And they go, I don't, they go, I'm sorry, I don't know who you are. And then you got to go, I'm a comedian. And they explain it and they're like, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Cool to meet you. And you're like, oh, and the person presents it to you as if,

you're about to meet your biggest fan on earth. Oh yeah. And so you think it's about to be like a thing. And then they're just like, I don't know. They're just not in the head space to even. Yeah. And they're like, I don't, yeah, I guess. That lady in Springfield, Missouri, when we were doing that gig, we were out riding scooters or something. Yeah. And this lady came up, it was just, you know, five grown men riding scooters in the middle of the town. She was like, what are you, what are you guys doing here? She worked for the college and she was like,

What do you do? Are you? Oh, you're here. I bet you're here for the Nate Bargatze show, aren't you? Oh, yeah. And Nate was right there. Everybody had sunglasses on. And I just go, are you a Nate fan? She's like, man, I love him. He's my favorite comedian. I love him. I was like, you know what he looks like? And she was like, yeah, I know what he looks like. And then she's like, take your sunglasses off. She freaked out. We were just talking to her. It was great, man. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. We were riding, what college was that? Missouri State. Missouri State. We were riding Missouri State.

uh on scooters i mean oldest men possible what's that city springfield missouri okay yeah they got a comedy club you probably played i did the college i did oh did you that's where my dad went okay yeah i did a gig at the college greg wrestled there i wrestled there all right but

Never lost down there, man. Greg was a little cocky. We were the University of Missouri. If you had any of those directionals like Southeast or Central or Missouri State, our coach is like,

You guys, you got a six-point lead walking out on the mat just because of your singlet. And that's how Greg took the stage, with that attitude. Yeah. He walked out there, I got a six-point lead, and I'm like,

They don't even know. Yeah. And there's early on. And still today, I'm down eight, six, two jokes in. It's the opposite. I didn't see it coming. Yeah. What happened? They're up by six. Wait, how do they have a lead? Where were you this weekend, Greg? Um,

Well, Nate's not the only arena act. I went to Mason City, Iowa, and they had a hockey arena there, and they sectioned off about 120 seats in that hockey arena and had a comedy show, and it was really cool. They made like a little comedy club out of it. Yeah. Wow. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it was really neat. How many seats?

I bet you there was 150 people there. What was going on on the other side of the curtain? They were playing hockey. Full blown. Yeah, I guess they just wanted to utilize the space and they've been trying to get comedy going. So it was really fun. Some of those readings, it's good to do that. I mean, I did when I did them because I said they used to have the curtain on.

Yeah. And so they would, you would do them and depend on where that curtain was, depending on how good you sold. So, I mean, I remember doing them where the curtain was having my state. It's really, you're just like, I should be, the stage should be just against the wall and it'd be one section. Yeah. Or that one show. Who did we talk about that one show? The guy was on stage. The, we just did it on stage.

Who did I was with that we talked about that? Did you ever brought that up? We did a show. Not on the podcast, I think. Yeah, I did a show. I forget who was with me. So little people, they just did it on the stage.

They sat everybody on the stage. Yeah. Yeah. It was not enough people as a theater and there's not enough people that they just said, you know what? Let's just bring everybody on stage. And then they sat in chairs. Y'all use the green room bathroom if you want. I bet you it was good though. Yeah, it was good. Cause the acoustics in the theater with, yeah. Yeah. You just had them all on stage. I just did a show. Yeah. Let's just get them all on stage. This one's for you, Marty. Yeah.

There you go. I'm in section 3F. You're on stage. There is no 3F tonight. It's all chairs.

what about you aaron i was in alabama birmingham all right two nights at the stardome and then two nights in huntsville at levity live it's no longer stand-up live it's called levity live oh wow i didn't know that yeah uh so they're making the changes there but uh and still still the same great club from the comics perspective at least yeah it was it was a really great weekend to be back in alabama a lot of fame i did i had a uh

It was one of those Huntsville shows. The manager comes back and goes, there's a 38, a group of 38 here. Yeah. It was my family. Oh, wow. But she was like, is there like a church group coming or something? No, it's my favorite. 38 came to the late show Saturday. Wow. Now they were pulling in friends and stuff, but yeah, they all came in and that, so that show was a lot of fun and they thankfully didn't put them up front, but.

Just a great weekend. Sold out the stardom. He sold out the stardom. Oh man. Sorry. Sorry. No, I know. But now you're talking about something great. Now it sounds bad. That's okay. No, it's okay. I was trying to say, it's just empty seats. And then the 38 people, we don't got them up front, but then you got a, then you said, I have cancer. And you're like, Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead, Aaron. Uh,

Sorry. Yeah. Stardome. Sold out the Stardome. Sold it out. Added a show and the added show is like at 150. All right. It was it was awesome. I've done the Stardome since I started and I've never I don't think I've ever had anybody there that knew that I was on the show. Yeah. Even the shows I had. Yeah. Never felt like anybody was there. What do you think happened?

Well, I did the arena in Birmingham with Nate. And I said, I'm coming there. And it happened quick. The Nate bump. It was awesome. Well, that's all him. They watch. They don't have to come. You know?

Well, yeah. I mean, if you had really bombed and go, come see me at the Stardome, they'd have been like, nah, we saw what you did. We would just be hearing about Huntsville this week. That's true. But if he'd have done really great, he'd have stood out both.

Let's just be honest. We're going to be honest. So he's right in the middle. That is true. He's not showing off. Yeah. That is the interesting thing that I've learned about selling out a show and then them adding another is you go, oh, no, that sellout was about as many people that wanted to come see it. Yeah.

I'm not familiar with any of this. Let's keep it at the win. You want the victory. Yeah. And then they're like, no, we'll do another one. You're like, yeah. And then you're... Because I've done... I did... When you're doing theaters, we would always... Sometimes you added a show and you'd be like, first show's...

It's packed out. Second show's 200 people. And they're like, we got to push. We got to push. And I'm like, but I had a sold out show. And then you feel like you got to walk out there and you're like, hey, everybody in the crowd, I just want you to know the other show was sold out. I do say that. You kind of feel like you have to because they're like, what is happening? I say, we added this show just for you guys. And that is true. That's a good one. It is because you want to see, you know, you want to get let everybody else come. But you didn't know it was only going to be 100 people.

They go, how many more Dusty fans we got out there? Let's just leave it to the imagination. Yeah. But speaking of that, I did Houston, Texas this weekend. Improv? State of Texas, the improv.

I sold out three of the five shows. That's ridiculous. It's a big club. It's huge. It's the number one grossing comedy club in the country, I think. Oh, I think so too. It's so great. I had such a good time. It's an awesome weekend. That's one of the places I started comedy at. Is it? It's an interesting way to word it. What does that mean? What? Is it the biggest club? No, it was the highest. Most tickets sold. Exactly what he said. Yeah, I think the dollars. Yeah. Interesting.

It's an interesting way to word that because it's the correct way to word it. Yeah, I think so. So what you're saying is they charge more money for tickets than some other clubs? No, it's very big too. It's 450 seats. And the acts sell well there. It's also a giant city. Yeah, they don't charge. Fourth largest city in the country. Neck and neck with Chicago, though, the third largest. I thought it was third. They say it's neck and neck. You can be high grossing and not charge a lot for tickets. Walmart is a very high grossing place.

They don't charge. They don't just charge people more. Yeah, because they're the biggest company in America. But you make it, which is you're good at this, make it sound just like the club is at fault. Yeah. And you are the best at that. Yeah, you think you're making something shady going on. And make it where that person, the club then has to go, I get, well, all right, man, I'm sorry. That's the way you present it.

well, I was just trying to get the bottom. Is it the biggest? Or if it's not the biggest, then that means they're... It's one of the biggest. Okay. And there's a lot of tickets are being sold there. It's a big club. They got guys selling out three out of five shows. Significant that I had sold out. Well, big doesn't even... I mean, you can have a big club and they never... The other two are close to selling out. There's clubs that are bigger than Houston. Yeah, it's the big... And they don't make... And they could not make more dollars. Yeah, stand-up live in Phoenix. It's huge, right? Almost 600 seats. It's that many people in that town, they want to go to that club.

Yeah. And a lot of big acts go to that club. Big, big acts. So they would be able to get... Yeah, it was just there. Yeah, they would get... You know what I mean? They get big acts. That's what I'm saying. They do. They get a lot of theater acts and guys that could go do other stuff, but they go to Houston and go, I'll just do the club because it's such a big club. It's a good thing. I think they also... They have the...

There's a, there's, you know, they, they have big acts and a big white acts, a big urban acts, but then they also, there's probably, I bet there's 10 Latino acts that you can't, that don't sell well in certain parts of the country where they blow it out. And so they have 10 acts that some cities don't have. In the country, they say Houston, the most diverse city in the country. That's interesting. I don't know if I believe that. I don't know if I believe that.

I mean, what about New York City? That's what they say. Most diverse city in the country. You didn't look up the stats? I didn't look up anything. People just told me this. Yeah, I lived in Houston. I don't know if I buy it. Okay. I mean. That was 1984. Yeah. He's 91. You don't even have to exaggerate. You can just say it. That is true. He's 91. You were a senior in college? That's true. In Houston? You're saying 91 for everything.

you know bates again that's just what nate says it's just what nate says you make it sounds like there's something that i'm doing like like i'm lying i graduated college and then i went to move to houston to get a job he's not selling he's not a fun person peanut butter sounds like you're stuck in 91 yeah you put people on the defense what happened in 91 i mean your answer everything's 1991 what's going on cross-examined you have some do you have some trauma in 91

No, it was a good year in some ways. I was born in 91. Were you? Yeah. Got married in 91 and had some kids and then became a grandparent in 91 too. Is that what you're indicating there? We're having a good time. Dusty, why don't you tell us about Pesty? Oh, yeah. We have all been there.

Sitting in your house and then you see a huge bug. As you know, I used to work for the big pest control companies. And let's just say it, not a huge fan of all those chemicals, but now I have Pesty. This podcast is sponsored by Pesty. Pesty is a do-it-yourself pest control company on a mission to provide pro-grade pest control products. There's a lot of popping peas in here and it's not my fault. Pro-grade pest control products.

At an affordable price so you can say hello to savings and goodbye to bugs at a fraction of the cost of most pest control companies. No more making appointments and waiting on the bug guy. You can just spray it yourself with the reusable electronic sprayer that is included with your order.

Other pest control companies charge hundreds of dollars and make a one-size-fits-all plan, but PestE is totally customizable to your location and bugs. Okay. All right. I don't understand how this is phrased, but it just says, not PestE.

I used it this week, and it was so easy to do. I don't think that really fits in there, but I think they're just saying, hey, Pesty's easy. Yes. Let's not overcomplicate it with a lot of words. Pesty's easy to use. To me, the best part is that Pesty is a kid and pet friendly, so you never have to worry about your pets or your kids. That's my personal favorite. Even though I don't have any pets, I still don't want them to get hurt. You know what I mean? And I like...

I'm pretty anti like a lot of stuff, but I am pro home pest control. I don't want a lot of bugs in the house. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I'm not trying... If they're just out in their own house, I'm not trying to get them. They don't come into mine. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Pesty minimizes the risk to pollinators like bees and butterflies and reduces the negative impact of pesticides on the environment. That way bugs can thrive in their ecosystem while you enjoy a bug-free home. Exactly what I just said. And that was written. I didn't even know that was written, but that's what I said. That's what I like. Amazing.

Now is the time to protect your home from bugs for less with Pesty. Head to Pesty.com slash Nate and use code Nate for an extra 10% off your order. Once again, that's Pesty.com backslash Nate for 10% off. And make sure you use my promo code Nate so they know I sent you. It's my first time ever reading that. I feel like it was pretty good. It was pretty good. Pretty plosive heavy, though. There was a lot of peas. I don't think Dusty was here for the plosive.

I was. That was actually me that said it was sounds like something the young kids would say. Oh, that's right. You're right. I coined the phrase. Pelosif. Start with you guys' comments. Jessica Quinn. Probably the hardest I've ever laughed at a podcast episode from the Revelation...

That Homer was blind to watching Dusty shaking his head every time Aaron mentioned something related to evolution. Speaking of blind. Also love the out story from Bobby Sox. If laughter is good medicine, I got a long life ahead. Thank you all. That's very nice. It's not medicine, though.

Laughter? Yeah. Don't count on it. Yeah. You know, for medicine. Still do other stuff for your health. What are you doing, man? I'm sorry. This is what we sell. Dusty, the Bible says a merry heart doeth good like medicine. That's Old Testament, so you should be all about that. But Dusty's all big pharma, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We understand. Big pharma baits? Yeah.

I mean, he'd probably love it. I mean, big part. I mean, he'll do. What do they want? What are they trying to give us? He goes and knocks on Pfizer's door and goes, what do y'all got today? Y'all got anything y'all trying out? Yeah, I do. I got one of those pill things that keeps up with it. Do you? Yeah. Do you have one, Greg? I keep them in little sandwich bags. Oh.

That's what I'm talking about. I like just keeping them in my pocket. Do you know which one to go to? What do you mean? Do you have a bunch of different pills to take? You have seven days a week? No, I take a set of pills in the morning and a set of pills in the afternoon and a set of pills in the evening. That's how you get through the day? Yeah, yeah. You know, and they're not drug pills. They're supplements. Yeah. Yeah, for my... Mine too. And they're in those little snack bags, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

snack bag is smaller than a sandwich bag yeah i like snack bags they're good yeah uh cody thomas i had read that we call redheads redheads we'll keep going because even though it's more of an orange color the word orange was not around but the word red was that makes more sense to me than an evolution of the human eye

I think we talked about this on the podcast once that the orange, the fruit was named that before the color was named orange. Yeah. And then that's why we started calling that shade orange because it was the same color as the fruit. But yeah, there was just one all-encompassing word, red, that included orange and red for a long time. Fun stuff.

We had this guy, redheaded guy on our wrestling team in college, Darren Davis. We called him Ronald McDonald and we'd call him up late at night. He was the only one married on the team. In high school? No, in college. He was married in college and we were all idiots out doing whatever. We'd be out late till like two in the morning. He'd answer the phone at like two in the morning and be like,

I'll take a Big Mac and we just order McDonald's. Ronald McDonald. Yeah, he hated us for that. That's his fault for having red hair. For being married. Spencer Armahein. Armhein. There's no chance that's what that is. You don't think it's Armheim? Armhein? In middle school, I told everyone that I was colorblind for attention. When I got...

When I got tired of pretending I couldn't see colors, I said the doctor gave me medicine to fix it. This guy's just sociopathic. One lie leads to another lie to another lie. And two other kids who were actually colorblind begged me to tell me what tree that is.

I even talked to their parents. I lied to them all until they finally contacted my parents and my folks had to tell them I was not a rapper. This guy is a maniac. You took it so far. I talked to their parents. He told them. He got his... He got his...

above water. What's the saying like that? Like he, he got out of his hand. He was in over his head. It was in over his head where he just thought, yeah, I'm just being funny. And like, I'll say I'm colorblind. And then it was like, all right, I'm tired of that. And then it's like, then kids, you know, I mean, there's no way he thought, well, what if people, I know what's cool. Was he going to where two other kids were colorblind? I'm colorblind. Is this a real common thing? I'm colorblind. My brother's colorblind. Uh,

It is in men, real men, I think, type that in. Real men are colored blind? One in 12 men. Wow. And then one in 200 women. So it affects men. Wow, one in 12? Yeah. Yeah, 4.5% of the world's population. Who's doing these surveys? That's what I'm saying.

What advantage would there to be to making up? I agree. They say that about every survey ever. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's what we say. Oh,

Bates is, yeah, he's struggling today. I was colorblind in 1991. It's a smart joke. We're smart people. Dumb it down for these bonehead audience. Sorry. Sorry, man. It's all right. Hurt people hurt people. Go ahead. I never heard that. It's pretty good. That's a good saying. But I didn't mean to hurt you. Rachel Barrow.

Barrow. Yeah. My piano teacher, she sounds like a piano teacher, Rachel Barrow. Doesn't that sound like a piano teacher's name? Miss Barrow. Miss Barrow. My piano teacher would often talk about specific keys having colors to them. C major was blue, E flat was orange.

I understood on one level what she was saying, but never had the experience of hearing colors. That's synesthesia, what we talked about a little bit last week. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. This don't get into it. There are some more comments coming up about synesthesia. Okay, cool. Jeff Metters, meters, Metters.

I think it's matters. I like matters. Matters. Matters. Yeah. The lie about carrots improving vision originated from the British government in World War II. Fact check this, Greg. The Royal Air Force, are you listening, had a new radar technology that they wanted to keep secret. So to fool the Nazis, they launched a propaganda campaign that attributed the skill of their pilots to carrots.

That's true. I heard that from a few places. That's great. So what did they do? I don't know if I understand what I read. I just think you should eat the carrots. The British had a new radar system that could detect, I guess, Nazi planes, and they didn't want them to know how they could do it, so they lied by saying the reason their pilots could see so well is because they eat carrots. Hmm.

Wow. And Hitler's telling you. You got to eat these carrots. Yeah. We did that. When I worked at Pringles. I don't know. I don't believe that. We had like our general manager, the guy running Pringles, got interviewed by one of those advertising magazines. And we were up a bunch of share points. And he threw some misinformation out there. He told them that it was because we sponsored the X Games was why we were doing so well. Just to sort of.

try to get Frito-Lay off their game. Oh, really? Yeah. I like that kind of stuff. Wait, so wait, why did he say it? Your guy said it? Yeah, they were interviewing him to say, hey, why is Pringles experiencing so much growth right now? And it had to do with...

I think it had a lot to do with Walmart and targeting that customer and doing a lot of stuff with them. And some of the club stores. But he was like, we're not going to tell Frito-Lay why we're doing so well. So he was like, it's because we're a big sponsor of the X Games. And that's why all of our business is going through the roof. Yeah, yeah. You don't want them to know why. And did Frito-Lay start sponsoring the X Games after that? I don't know if it worked or not. But they didn't know. I'm just saying about this, I don't doubt. I just feel like...

We carried this lie all this time that carrots are good for your eyes because of this. It was a big war. I would say one of the biggest. Yeah. But I just mean, though, we're now like our parents are telling us to eat carrots because it's good for our eyes because of this. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I just don't think that maybe the RAF could have let us in on it. We were out. We were an ally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The whole world's eating carrots now is good for their eyes because of this. I think there's some other health benefits to carrots. It's not like carrots are bad for you. Yeah.

You know? You sound mad about it. Well, I mean, I just... Well, yeah, no, he was fooled. He's been misled. Well, I saw his glasses. Yeah. It's not been helping. These people were lying like Spencer Amreim. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Scott Crawford. Did you compare Spencer to the Nazis?

I bet you Spencer Spencer was a more skilled liar Sorry Spencer Compliment you now Scott Crawford There is a condition called Prosopanginosa Is that right? That sounded good You went into it so confidently I love it Let's just do it Prosopanginosa I've done it a couple times

Also known as face blindness. Oh, I don't start with that. Which is a neurological disorder that makes it difficult to recognize faces.

That's just a person that's a bad person. I'm good with names. Yeah. Bad with faces. That's just someone that's like, you go, I just don't have the time to, you know, it would be like, I meet a lot of people. I got faces are going to. Yeah. I meet a lot of people. Y'all look. Or it's a thing. And it's, it's a, that's a terrible thing where you're like, Ted, it's me. And you go, Oh, I have prosopagnosia. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. That's a real thing.

I know, I know. How many people have it? Do you know someone specifically that has it? One in 12. No, but I saw a story on 60 Minutes about it. Did you? Yeah. Are they still doing 60 Minutes? In 91? Oh, yeah. They're doing better than ever.

now there's the you can have the opposite of that too you have superior face recognition ability they are called super recognizers that's what i have you're pretty good with faces aren't aren't crows that way i'm not lying yeah there's a bird i think that can see your recognize humans recognize humans faces yeah i think it's crow yeah i think you're right yeah

Crows can learn to recognize human faces and hold on to that memory for a long time, sometimes even forming associations with the individual's behavior. Wow. I did Whitney Cummings' podcast, and she talked about crows like that. Like, she has some crow feeders. I bought a crow feeder. I still don't have any crows now. But, yeah, she says they'll bring you tools and stuff.

If you start leaving food out, they'll bring little tools for you. As thank you gifts? I guess, yeah. That I don't believe. We're into crows. That's how I bonded. We bonded over crows. Man, I sure could use a fence post digger. That might be a tough tool to bring. That'd be a whole murder of crows. Crows. Crows.

here's your fence here's that corn on the cob that's like gold in their language

Well, you do an impression of a crow? Breathing hard. Yeah. Carrying a fence hole digger. Yeah. She goes, not everybody does that, Greg. No, it was good. It's like an anti-evolution joke. Yeah. I also do. That was my homeless man, the evolution joke, and then I did an impression of a crow. Out of breath. Out of breath crow. Out of breath crow. And then they go, I can't pinpoint it. Yeah.

Next time, next year, just all out-of-breath crow jokes. One set on out-of-breath crow jokes. Hannah Freidlund. Freidlund. There you go. Freidlund. That sounds like a name that you... What's that? The Freud name or whatever? Freud.

Sigmund Freud? Sigmund Freud. Freud slip. Freudian slip. Freudian slip, yeah. Yeah, so that sounds like, you know, Freudian slip. Like Hannah, that sounds like a name that you're like, if you dug into that, you're like, Hannah, like her family like, you know, comes from something. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hannah might not even know that. I bet not. But she might have, you know, there might be some, she owns like half of Ireland or something, you know.

I don't know. I don't know that last name's from, but loved hearing synesthesia.

synesthesia synesthesia synesthesia loved hearing synesthesia getting brought up every color has a frequency and that's why being in painted rooms with different colors affects our mood so much also it's why white noise exact exists in the sound machine it's a frequency oh i'm into that i could get into this

The sound of colors having frequencies. Yeah. I want to dig into that. I want to change the colors in my house now. Well, there are, there are some musicians that have just mastered the instrument so much that when they're like soloing or something, they're not even thinking about the mechanics of it. If they have synesthesia, they can just think like, uh,

just red blue green yeah just like in colors yeah yellow but just like the feel of it i think that's so interesting that's what they think in their head while they sing the national anthem yeah black blue four black blue white pink black blue white pink then they do that there you go you're like

What is that? That was Charlie Daniels. Yeah, but there's probably some guy. It's just like comedy. There's some guy that just wants to skip to doing just the colors and doesn't want to learn the basics. He goes, let's get to the color part. You got to kind of learn how to play the notes and all that stuff. No, no, man. I'm just a color guy, man.

Yeah, I'd like that. Kanye West apparently has synesthesia. How about that? Billy Joel, Billie Eilish, a bunch of composers. The drummer from the Grateful Dead. They see a lot of colors. Yeah.

Lane, right? Lane Lemmings. I have synesthesia. Songs have taste. Most colors have numbers associated. What? Songs have taste. Most colors have numbers associated. And certain words have a funny taste. It was a crazy day when my whole school found out. Everyone is asking me how they taste.

They're losing me here. Certain words like banana. I'm down with frequency of it, and you're like, oh, that's a taste. Yeah, I don't know. Songs have taste. I guess if you mentioned food and said the word, I could probably taste it. Cheeseburger in Paradise, for instance, that song. Yeah, I could taste a burger when you say it. Lane would be like, no, actually, that song tastes like a lemon. Yeah. That's why it's hard for her to. What do you think about that, though?

A word having a taste. I don't even think I understand what's going on. So, yeah, it seems like, you know. I think it's like most colors have numbers. Songs have taste. It's probably something that makes the most sense to her. And then, you know, someone else is like, well, I don't even know what's going on. I don't even know what you're talking about. But-

Aaron, would two people with synesthesia have the same taste or the same color? Oh, I don't know. I don't think so. Just whatever comes. It's just how they process it in their brain. Well, it's probably hard to find two people that can make up this. I'm sure they talk beforehand. They do. Aaron, what about game time?

I love game time, dude. Y'all know me. I love two things. I love going to concerts. I love going to sporting events. Game time has made getting into these events even easier. A lot of times I don't know I want to, you know, I have the night off and it's kind of last minute for me. So they have this new feature called game time picks that makes getting tickets for concerts and events even easier. They filter out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats.

so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets. It's so easy. Find an upcoming concert, browse through the seats on GameTime, and find the best deals for you. The coolest part is I'm on the app right here, and I'm looking at a game that's coming up, and all the seats that are available, they have the seat view on here, so you can see exactly what that seat's going to look like. Oh, that's nice. So you're not going to walk into something and be like, ah, these are terrible seats. That's a good feature. You know ahead of time.

Very cool. And with college football coming up, I'm going to be using game time a lot. I'm not going to see my newborn kid at all. Mm-hmm.

It's game time, baby. That's right. It's game time. Game time also offers ticket coverage. Your purchase is covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the ticketing industry with 24-hour returns, guaranteed job loss assurance, and on-time ticket delivery. Listen, take the guesswork out of buying concert tickets with game time. Download the game time app, create an account, and use code NATE for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code NATE for $20 off. Download GameTime today. Last minute tickets. Lowest price. Guaranteed. That's what I'm talking about. No nonsense. Yeah. I don't mess around. That's the best ad reader in town. I don't mess around. He's real good, man. Who's who you go out to?

Tracy Nichols. I'm surprised no one brought up the dress controversy of 2015, where millions of people debated whether the dress in a social media pic was black and blue or white and gold. I still only see white and gold, but apparently the true colors are black and blue. Well, it's like the one on the right looks black and blue, but then the one on the left looks white and gold. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you remember that took the world by storm, though. This is kind of when social media was...

Fun? Yeah. Fun and new and everybody's, you know, and it was, it's kind of just, yeah. Now I think it's like, you know, when you see something like this, you're like, I can't get involved. Yeah. It all feels like a trick now. Every time something like this is going, it's like, ah, this is a trick. There's something going on somewhere else and they're distracting me from it with this thing. It's as a, as a,

Yeah, as a plat, like, you get all these ideas, and you're just, it's so hard to follow people. Aaron, do you know the science behind it, why we see it differently? No. I mean, I was really asking. I saw the headline said. Oh, I thought about that. I always thought it was blue and black.

Did you? You see blue and black right there? Yeah, I do too. This right here, you see blue and black? I definitely see blue. Yeah, what do you see? I see white and gold 100%. That's so funny. I see blue and black 100%. I think I see blue. Whoa. Yeah, I see white and gold. See, it was fun. Yeah. It is fun. It was a good time. Wow. I mean, I see white and gold 100%. Yeah. I do now. I saw blue. I don't even see blue. I don't even know how you could get blue out of this.

Maybe your eyes haven't developed to see blue yet. Maybe, or maybe, you know. I'm better evolved. Sarah, I 100% agree with Dusty about the elusive narwhals. I am 49 and never heard anything about these animals until about five years ago.

All the video footage is the same set of clips over and over. But the craziest thing is that there has never been a narwhal that has been kept in captivity. Sounds very suspicious to me. That's what I'm saying. I appreciate it. I like it. I agree with that. There's none in captivity. I looked that up. That's true. We don't have a giant squid in captivity. But you've seen squids.

And so you're just like, well, there's a big one. So some people think there aren't. They don't have a blue well. I just like I was big into animals growing up. And I had all these things. I was always looking up animals. And then I'm reading my daughter books. And they're just filled with this animal, the narwhal. And I'm like, what is this? My friend lives in Norwalk, which I think is in Ohio. And it's like that's their.

That's their thing, yeah. That's their city animal. That's where they made them up. Yeah. Yeah. But I get the point that it goes like every clip looks like the same clip. So like we went, this animal, that's the craziest animal I've ever seen. We went and filmed it for about two hours and we've never gone back up. Like you never, like that's the point that he's making. I think we're keeping an eye on it.

Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, that's a crazy thing. It is. Wow. Somebody brought me a toy Narwhal for the baby this week. Oh, I mean like the day after the episode aired. So it was pretty quick. Cool. Yeah. It's fun. Oh, look at that. Yeah. Safe for kids. Big, sharp horn on it. Yeah. It's plush, but yeah. They're a steak knife. Well, the plush does make more sense. I thought the same thing. I don't know how safe that is. Yeah. Um,

But, yeah, I don't know. I mean, they're just lucky they're in the water because moving, if they had to get around, imagine a man that was on a land animal. It's like a dog trying to get a bone out of a door. Can't turn away in a hallway. A lot of manslaughter. Yeah, a lot of stuck. Unintentionally killing other animals. Yeah, only the males are the ones with the horns. Nate Herson.

Fellow Nate. It was glossed over pretty quickly, but Aaron said that unicorns fly. My daughters were very quick to point out that unicorns do not fly. If a unicorn has wings, it's called an alicorn. I was probably thinking of a pegasus. I'm sorry about that. I get my fictional animals wrong. I think easily a unicorn could be a pegasus. It's the MTSU Blue Raiders mascot.

It's a winged horse, right? They're the Pegasi? Or the Blue Raiders. Middle Tennessee State. If the North Wall's real, a horse with a horn could be real, too. Yeah. I think that's why I brought it up. But, I mean, there's no horse with a horn on Nat Geo. Exactly. It's really defensive. There's no video of these girls that are...

Just pointed out something. I'm more annoyed with Nate. You know, his daughters get a pass, but come on. No, his daughters was just making, but it's a good point. And you're like, well, I think I was talking about that. You said something that they didn't even say. No, no, no, no, no. I was saying I agree with Dusty. That's why I brought it up. But I had it wrong. I had it wrong. I had it wrong. No, I agree with him. I've never heard of Alicorn. Neither have I. I never heard of Alicorn either. I think that's made up. I was thinking of a Pegasus. Me neither. You think those little girls made it up? Yeah.

Or their textbooks made it. I agree with them. They're like Spencer. Emily Osborne. Regular Skittles have five colors, but they all have the same taste formula. It's cheaper to add fragrance and colors to each candy than it is to add five different flavors.

Your olfactory senses trick you into thinking you're tasting something, but you actually aren't. If you close your eyes and plug your nose, they all taste the same.

The olfactory sense, also known as the sense of smell. Is that how you eat Skittles? Close your eyes and plug your nose, take the fun out of it? He goes, look how much you like. I'm sorry, that was, can you imagine just eating Skittles? And you're like, man, enjoy them a little. And he goes, nah, just got to get them down. Man, back when I sold the... I did a bag. All right.

Did you really? Oh, I love it. I love it. King size. Does anybody want to try? I'd like to see if I can tell the difference between two colors. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Pick some colors out and don't tell Dusty what they are. All right. Well, that's a perfect segue in today's subject.

We're doing the senses. Last week, Greg, we did vision. Are your eyes closed, Dustin? Yeah. I'm going to do this. Can we do this experiment real quick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Today we're doing taste. You see that on the camera? You see what color this is? Dustin, you don't see what color. Sorry, did I say it? All right, there you go. Let me know. Is this really a Skittles? Yeah, yeah, it's a Skittles. Is that poop? No. We pooped real fast. Yeah. Now, what do you think that is? I think it's yellow. Okay. Okay. I'm going to show you. I'm going to do one more. Okay. See what color that is?

Try that out, Dustin. You probably got to take a swig or something. No, no. Cleanse the palate. Reset the palate. Yeah. It's like a wine taster. How about that one? This one's red. No. You got to both wrong. There's a green one and a yellow one. The green, I could see what I said was yellow. I could see that being green. But the other one, I couldn't see it being yellow. Now, you're supposed to hold your nose to see if they all taste the same. They didn't taste the same to me. But you could smell them. I'm saying, like...

Yellow could be lemon. Green could be lime, and they're still both citrusy. That's a nice package of Skittles. I think I should have known what colors were in there going into it. Skittles are really good, man. Yeah. Would you have acquired Skittles P&G?

We weren't in the candy business. We had Hawaiian Punch, though. Oh, Hawaiian Punch was my favorite as a kid. That's good, man. I could have hooked you up back then. But we had- Yeah. It's been weird, dude. Out of the nine. Nine was- You had 38-year-olds going, hey, little boy. I can get you.

I can give you some Hawaiian punch. Nine was peak Hawaiian punch years for me. Yeah. Well... I would have drank it around my 30s. We got whooped bad by Hi-C. Hi-C just... Hi-C dominated for a while. Because Hi-C had all the flavors. We only had red. So we decided we're going to come out with all these other... It's called HP Colors. And we were going to have all these different... And we had like... Sounds like a printer. Red. Yeah. Yeah. And we had like...

We had like five different colors, but they were all Hawaiian Punch. Hawaiian Punch was much far superior to Hi-C. But Hawaiian Punch probably just stayed in their lane and said, we just only do this one thing. Oh, we got forced back in our lane real quick. And the thing is, Hi-C goes, no, we do everything. You're actually two different drinks.

Yeah, the problem is that when you walk to the shelf, a Hawaiian Punch gets lost. You can't even find it, basically, because there's 80 different flavors of Hi-C. But you're really going after someone that wants the taste of Hawaiian Punch. That's not enough. Hawaiian Punch and Yoo-Hoo, that was all I wanted. And also, Hi-C, man, they were...

They were kind of dirtbag sales techniques like Dusty. Like we've established earlier on the podcast. Like they were doing all kinds of garbage. I would have hit the Hawaiian Punch. Yeah, they did do that stuff. Yeah, I would have pushed it back and made an extra face in the podcast. Dirtbag tactics. Yeah. Dirtbag tactics. Yeah. They weren't honorable. Listen to this. Hawaiian Punch started as an ice cream topping.

And then customers discovered if you mixed it with water, it tasted pretty good to drink. So they pivoted. Isn't that crazy? Dr. Pepper is who owned it? Keurig. Dr. Pepper owns it now. Does he own Keurig too? Keurig Dr. Pepper, yeah. Does he own Keurig the coffee? Isn't that called Keurig? Yeah. Who's he? You would think he would know. Mr. Pepper? I thought that was a guy's name. Doctor. I believe I've earned that title. I thought...

I thought the guy's name was Keurig Dr. Pepper, and I was like, man, that worked out great. I honestly thought Mr. Keurig Dr. Pepper. I go, this guy's out of his mind. He goes, his name. He's like, I'll just call everything me. If there's a drink called Nate, and then I have another Bargetzis, my other thing, you're like, yeah, that's a dish. It was Dr. Pepper slash 7-Up, and then they became Dr. Pepper Snapple.

And then Keurig merged with Dr. Pepper Snapple. Now it's Keurig Dr. Pepper. You should keep the doctor first, though. Yeah, Dr. Pepper is what got you there. I think Keurig's better. I'm just saying, just for the sake of the name, you're leading the doctor. Keurig is so big, man. They have over 125 beverages. Maybe Keurig Pepper MD. You know what I mean?

That's what he puts on his business card. There you go, man. That is. But isn't Dr. Pepper. That's thinking like a comedian. That'll sell out three shows at the Houston Improv. That's Dr. Pepper. It is. They're their own company, right? Keurig, Dr. Pepper. Yeah. Yeah. When they merged with 7-Up, that was a big deal.

What about Mars buying people? They were the first ones to have those plastic bottles. Where did you when you heard that news? Where were you at that day you heard the news that Dr. Pepper and Seth have merged? I was working in Texas in 91. Was it 91? I know I was working for the company. Do you remember the day? No. You remember when you got the news. You remember you got the news. Yeah, but we were on the outside. Were you like, what?

You go, are you... It's not as... I mean, we were not in the soda business. But were you someone that would act like you go, I saw this coming? Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't. Yeah. I didn't. But I tried to... I felt like... You go, they've been talking for years. Yeah. Because, yeah. It's the only way they're going to survive. I mean, you got big Pepsi here, big Coke here. We got to join forces. They're going to put us both in. 7-Up was really kind of like going nowhere. Dude. I mean...

People, I was alive when seven up, when Sprite wasn't around. I remember when Sprite came out and I was like, this is better. This is better than. Yeah. And Pepsi still has not come up with an answer to Sprite.

They tried Slice. They tried, now it's Starry, I think. Starry, yeah. But what was the one in between? Sierra Mist. Sierra Mist. Sierra Mist is good. It's not. It's Starry now. It became Starry. Yeah, but I don't think it's Sprite-like. It's pretty weak. It's pretty weak. Starry is 7-Up.

I guess? No, it's Pepsi. Oh, it's Pepsi. Yeah, so. Oh, 7-Up is still with Dr. Pepper? I think so. But 7-Up, I bet you, is way behind Sprite. Heads up 7-Up? Oh, yeah. I would think so. Yeah, Sprite is everything. Starry. Wait. So Starry is. Sierra Miss became Starry. And Sierra Miss was an answer to 7-Up? It was an answer to Sprite.

From Pepsi. But there was a slice before that. Yeah. That was pretty good. Oh, the orange? Yeah, was it orange? They had orange slice, but it started as just a yellow slice. Yeah. And it was, the slice was awful good. Yeah. Wow, 1984. I mean, tell me that's not going right at Sprite. I mean, yeah. It looks like a ripoff of the logo. Yeah.

That's a solid logo, though. It is a nice logo. Slice of life. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'd call it. So we're doing taste? We're doing taste. Nate, there's five different types of taste. Main ones. Can you name them? Let me get you started. Sweet. Well, now you gave it away. Well, that's one of them. I don't think I can get this one. Spicy. Sour. Tangy. Sour. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Chocolatey. I think sweet, spicy, sour for sure. Those three. That's what I'm... Tart. Savory. Savory. Bitter. Bitter. Bitter. Ooh.

Sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and umami. That's savory. That's the... Umami. Umami is savory. The appetizer at a Japanese restaurant. Yeah, savory. Umami is the stuff that you're... Isn't it that monoclutas... MSG. MSG. I thought that was a message. So we got it then. I guess so. And then there's some other... Like the sixth one is pungency, which is hotness.

Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Like temperature or spice? I think spice. Okay. Yeah. Now, do you remember in school, Greg, but anybody, but mainly us, a map of the tongue and where the case map? I didn't pay attention, but yeah. Yeah. Turns out that was false. What? Wasn't accurate. They used to show, do you guys remember this? It was the best we knew. It seems like something we could have figured out pretty quickly on that one.

The front of the tongue was supposed to be where sweetness is. Yeah. Sour, different places like that. It's inaccurate. It was taught in schools for years. And finally, somebody was like, you know what? I can taste anywhere in my mouth. It was a thing the RAF was doing to try to fool Hitler. Yeah.

In 1974, Virginia Collings investigated the topic again and confirmed it. It's so funny. There's been all kinds of back and forth about this thing that means nothing to me. I would have thought that would have meant the most to you. You know where to put stuff? I can't think of anything that would matter more. I'll take this bubble gum. You go, what does it taste like?

Well, I need to know where to put it. Does it need to be in the back of my tongue? Where am I like to light my senses on fire? Eric, do you want to tell us about rocket money? I do want to talk about rocket money. Most Americans think they spend $62 a month on subscription. Well, most Americans are morons because the real number is closer to $300. That's literally thousands of dollars a year. What?

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Solid ad read. That was a good ad read. My buddy Sean O'Brien is a comic, and he thinks Aaron's the greatest ad reader in history. He's a big fan of the podcast. Hates my comedy. No, he loves your comedy, too. He thinks you guys are all great, but I said something. I don't know. We were in the car going to gig. Oh, he knows you're a comedian.

I go, man, I go, Dusty's pretty good when he reads those ads. He's like, Dusty's nothing, man. Aaron, Aaron. That's what I'm talking about. That a boy, Sean. Let's start doing ad reads in your show.

Like mid-show go. Yeah. Just start an ad. You might have just, I guarantee you there's some agent out there right now that's like, I think we just found a way to make some money off of this comedian. I do come up with ideas. You do mainly ad. You looking to get the word out to 75 people? Yeah. I got you, dude.

That's good. Now, Greg, when they roll out new products, new foods, they want to test the taste. Yeah. There's the test market capital of the United States. Used to be Peoria. Okay. Now it's these IRI. There's a company called IRI, and they have these controlled test markets. Pittsfield Mass is one I know. What about $500 in Pittsfield Mass? Yeah. Yeah.

Casino? Addison... No, just in my pocket. Addison, Texas was a... I've missed the first part of it. I figured... Everything I read said Columbus, Ohio was the test market capital. For chain restaurants? No, for like new products. No, I...

I know they've done that, but I think it's, I think that's a misnomer. I mean, I've been out of the business for a while, but there's a company called IRI that all these companies subscribe to and they have like very, these tiny towns that they're very, very controlled. Everything in the whole place is controlled. So the control test market is there. If you're like, you've been out of the business for a while, but

Why can't you let it go? Well, I've explained this to you before, Nate. Yeah. Okay. You ever heard somebody in the Marines say, once a Marine? Yeah. That is true. That guy fought the Germans or whatever for four years. I fought Skippy for 10.

I'm not just going to put it away. It's a part of my life. It's who I am. You have the scars, dude. Am I up to date on every little thing? No, but it's still part of me. Ballpark. You get the magazine, you flip through it. Yeah, I mean...

If I walk, more importantly, if I walk in the store, I can kind of read the shelf and tell you what's going on. Yeah. I need to go. I want to walk in his store. Yeah. I'll tell you what's going on. That'd be fun. It's a, I don't, I don't forget where, where I was. That's a good, I just showed my wife some pesticide stuff yesterday in a Lowe's. So I get, yeah. She's game changed. Well,

Well, you know what? Some people walked up while we were on the island. They recognized me from comedy. And then they were saying they were looking for some bug killer. And I started telling them some stuff. And then they weren't going to buy what I was telling them. And I started to get the old frustration that I used to get where it was like,

Like I wanted to be like, well, I just told you what's in this and I told you what you're looking for and now you're not going to buy it. But I had to walk away because I was like, I don't do that anymore. You know, I don't do that job. See, yeah, you're not supposed to bully people, man. Yeah, I think that's it. But I it's a bit how they want to meet Dusty, though.

It's like they want to meet Dusty. Oh, yeah. They want to leave, and he's pretty frustrated with you. Yeah. That's how all the interactions are. That's what you pay for. You pay to go like, that guy I think was upset.

It's not even about you saying hi or anything. No, you gave them... The only problem is they'll never buy a ticket to your show again because they'll be like, we got... Nothing's going to be open. See, I disagree. I think they will. Oh, you think? Because I think that's what they want. They want...

The interaction is like, well, how did it end? He's saying nothing will top it. I'm saying nothing will be as good as what they got at the show. Oh, okay. Like, man, he's just preparing. It's like if you run into Larry David arguing with the cashier, you're like, oh, this is it. This is what I wanted. I had a guy this weekend who worked for a pest control company. He gave me a hat of his. Different company. He said, tell Dusty that stuff he used to peddle is garbage, dude. Oh.

And he had... You're not going to take that. I didn't like the company that I worked for, but the products were good. Yeah, exactly. Now, a couple examples of some taste testing that didn't work out. They try all these test markets. New Coke.

Yeah. New Coke, everyone said, this is great because it was sweeter. But they were only sipping. Once it went into the whole can, it was too sweet. People couldn't handle it. That's why it backfired on them. Yeah. And that was in response to the Pepsi challenge, right? That's right. Because Pepsi...

They only give you this much soda. I did the Pepsi challenge. It was at fairs and stuff. If you're only having this much, people almost always pick Pepsi. If you're having a lot more, they might pick Coke. And Coke kept losing the Pepsi challenge. We're going to go to new Coke. And everybody's like, what are you doing, man? That's funny. I never even thought about that, but that makes sense. I like Pepsi, but...

I get it. I've been drinking a lot of Coke Zeros, which is a little more probably Pepsi-ish kind of direction.

You don't think so? Why? I don't even know what that means. I think it's a little sweeter. I think Coke Zero is in between Diet Coke's like, here's what we're doing. All right? They roll their sleeves up. Welcome to Diet Coke. And Diet Pepsi's like, ooh, we're fun and new. And Coke Zero's kind of like, all right, what if we, it's a new time, 2024. We're not acting like it's 1975. Yeah.

Here's in the middle. And I think Coke Zero is that. It's a good compromise. A good answer for, yeah. But I mean, you can be, I'll be in different moods. I want, sometimes you want, I want a nice, and I love soda. People don't want you to drink it. It's so good. But it's, I love it so much. There's nothing better. There's not, there's not, there isn't. There really isn't. It's, it's, I mean, and I do pretty good with, I have, we have the miniature Diet Pepsis bottles. Yeah.

at our house and i will when i eat like this morning i had eggs oh man for breakfast dude i love i love it eggs are delicious eggs are diet pepsi eggs i don't like scrambled eggs i like fried scrambled eggs i don't like i like fried egg uh but yeah but i had diabetes but i'll drink i'll drink a little bit of it just some sweet not pound it and then uh i might have got the whole one today though

It would be weird to take it like a shot. Well, I drink it like the first little half, then I leave it in the refrigerator. And then later on, I might drink it some more. Yeah, you savor it. Yeah, yeah. But the problem, too, is the thing that I mess up on is... You just get a Diet Pepsi and you just do it like it's medicine? Yeah. But I'll go when I go out. I had a Diet Coke at lunch today. Could you tell the difference between a Diet Pepsi in a bottle or a can or a fountain drink?

I think so. Yeah. Fountain drinks. Unless McDonald's does their fountain drinks so well. McDonald's Coke is better than any Coke out there. Yeah. Because they clean those machines and I think they put a little more sugar in there. Yeah, no, they're Diet Coke. You think they're really getting in there cleaning them? Yes. They're known for that. Yeah, and they spend a lot of money on the delivery system. But-

And they have an exclusive deal with Coca-Cola. I just saw a video about this where they send the syrup in metal containers as opposed to plastic bags. And they're the only place that does that. Really? Yeah, because of the quantity that they order from Coca-Cola. So that probably plays a part. It's got to make sense. Because normally, man, I try to ration my soda.

And, you know, I'll go to the club sometimes and I'll be like, I want to... And I'll just be like, no, I'm going... I'm going to get a bottle. Because almost all the time at a bar or a comedy club... Out of the gun. The fountain, the stuff out of the gun is not good. Yeah, it's gross. I love a fountain soda. That's my favorite. You love it in theory, but it's...

It's awful. Almost everywhere. I think comedy clubs do not have great... No. It tastes like soap. But I like... But that's because it's like... I feel like some places still use RC or they do. They have something weird like that. But I will take a fountain drink over a bottle or can every day of the week. Movie theaters seem to do a good job. Movie theaters do... Anywhere. Anywhere.

uh, firehouse subs. They got the thing. You get to pick whatever you want. Oh, that thing. That's a cool. Yeah. The Coke, the Coke machine. You don't like a can. I like a good can Coke. I like a good can Coke too, but I'm 20 ounce bottle and I drink and I, and I'm a wasteful. I did it before I got here. I buy a 20 ounce bottle, have like,

drink to where the label is and I'm like I can't even more and I usually wind up throwing it out you know who David David Spade brings his own bottle to a restaurant really they have or they have a bottle of Diet Coke wow a two liter no they're just like I think if he goes to the lot I think if he goes out to eat it's like but he'll he'll have a Diet Coke it's always in a bottle and it's uh

I think it's like, you know, like his local places that he goes. 20 ounce? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dr. Pepper was the first one to have, they own that, they had a patent on that package for a while. Where it's like, everything, those 20 ounce things used to be glass. And then Dr. Pepper for a while had that PET plastic. And everybody was like, this is great. And then everybody, I think the patent ran out or something. Yeah. All right, Nate, let's see if you can tell the difference between the different Diet Pepsis. All right.

We've prepared here. We've got a can, two liter fountain and a small bottle of all diet Pepsi. And I guess. Two liter. I love this. I wasn't getting a lot out of it. It's probably should have tried this. It's a long straw. It's a long straw. If you're listening in the car, you should probably stop. If you're listening, he's drinking through a straw for each one.

Yeah, get down in there. I think four is fountain. What is it? Bottle, can, fountain? A small bottle, like you have a two liter, a can, and then the fountain drink. I was like fountain on the left. Four is fountain. Okay. And then bottle. Suspense is killing me. This is like riveting television. So that's four is fountain. One is bottle. Okay.

And then one's a 20 ounce bottle. Yeah. One's a can. I would say. It's 12. Yeah. Two, two is the two, uh, can and three is whatever. Uh, well, I have a view here. Do you want me to, to reveal? Yeah. Uh, I would, you only got the fountain, right? Yeah.

That one, you knew that right away, too. It was right after you drank the fountain. You were like, that's the fountain drink. I think I can tell from here. I don't think it's fair to have two bottles, though. I don't think the two liter and the small bottle are going to taste different. You almost said the three can. Yeah. Yeah. Three is a small, one of the small cans. Yeah, yeah. I can see that. Mm-hmm. It's interesting. They just feel different, huh?

One's not the big bottle? No. It's a 20 ounce? It's not even a 20 ounce. It's a 12. Yeah, yeah. How about that? You nailed the fountain drink right away. I think that's the real takeaway here. The fountain drink is the superior one. It's distinct, yeah. It's probably the worst. It's probably the worst tasting Diet Pepsi. Which one was the worst tasting? My least favorite of that would be the big bottle of Diet Pepsi. Yeah, okay. That's the one I don't want the most.

The other ones I would like. But I would lean to fountain at a gas station. A gas station fountain drink is good. It's good. Now we're putting Greg to the test here now? Yeah, because this was so riveting. You sure you want to do this, man?

They put a lot of pressure on me. This is a little thing that you did. I based my whole comedy career on peanut butter. Yeah. You spent a lot of money on a special, and if I blow this, then we're done. I mean, the specials. That is true. Yeah. Let's say if you get it wrong, we cut it. Yeah. We'll only air this if you look good in the end. Now, if you don't know, Greg is a famous Jif peanut butter salesman. Yeah. He does it. Probably the most famous. It would say Jif than you. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, for sure. I can't name another.

Yeah. And he stands behind his product. I do. We're about to find out if he can tell the difference. Do you think you could tell the difference? Yes. Yeah. Yes, but I don't even know what they are. Yeah, so what are the... Wait. Yeah, I think you have to tell them. Tell them the three. So it's got the three. What the three is? Yeah. I mean, I saw something out of the corner of my eye when I walked in. Yeah. Abigail yelled at me. Yeah. You don't even have Jif. Hold on.

Yes. So the three peanut butter. You have diabetes peanut butter. You have hippie peanut butter. And you have garbage. Yeah. Okay? That is. It is. We don't have regular Jif. Sunflower butter. We have Simply Jif. What's Simply Jif? Garbage, you said? No. I did not say that at all. I said Peter Pan was garbage. Oh, okay. Peter Pan. It's a diabetic peanut butter. Creamy Peter Pan. Sunflower butter should be. Creamy sun butter. I've never heard of sun butter. That should be easy to identify.

Do you know what sun butter is? It's sunflower seeds smashed up. I think I could do this. Do you know sun butter? You've heard of them? It's for kids with peanut allergies. Oh, okay. They have a lot of this. Yeah. These are... This is my life. I would... This is my life. I'm going to bet right now that's probably... I think you're going to name it. Jif. Simply Jif. This is my... Someone... This is...

my life works at home. But I go, I want peanut butter and they come... Simply Jif. You're like, this is... They go, what's the difference? Nate, it's not a bad product. I'm not... I'm saying I want Jif. I'm saying I ask for Jif and then what I get... What he's giving to me, this drives me nuts, is someone gives me Simply Jif. What if you say to him... I didn't ask, I asked for Jif. This is what you do. You go, I just...

You're like, just simply Jeff, okay? Don't make it complicated. He said simply Jeff. And they walk in the door and they go, well, I didn't know the difference. And then you're like. And they did, didn't they? They did. Well, that's when someone doesn't know products,

Like I'll say it with – if someone goes, do you have soda? And they go, yeah. And they're so removed from the soda world that they don't realize they don't – like if you go to a restaurant that's like, no, we have soda. And you're like, no, we make it ourself. You're like, then you don't have it. Yeah. So say I don't have it. Yeah. You know what I mean. You know, don't – and so like this is like you go somewhere and you're like, hey, go get me some peanut butter. And they come back with Simply Jif and you're like, no, no, I said –

peanut butter like so don't yeah i don't have an issue yeah i don't i don't want uh i want what you think peanut butter is and i know you don't think it's simply just it's not a bad product man it's not it's a great product i'm not talking about the product i'm talking about the idea that you know when someone misbuys something yeah yeah but do you think they're misbuying it or they're like hey nate you need to uh cut down on your sugar

I think a lot of times the main product will be sold out. And so someone that does not know. You're sending someone that doesn't know. That just burns me up, man. Out of stocks are inexcusable. Especially on something like an 18-ounce Jif. That is inexcusable. Well, that's what happened. Shows us the best product, though. I did. Yeah. Or they got a bad rep. Where'd you go? Publix.

They got a bad rep. They had larger size. I was trying to, I didn't know how we were going to do it. So I thought if we take the labels off. Publix had a problem with Procter & Gamble a while ago, man. I don't think this is part of that. But you're stalling. Can you do this or not? Yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do we got? So this is number three that you're trying. That's not Sun Butter. I know that. Okay, so that's Peanut Butter. That's Peanut Butter.

Trying the second one here. I got one we got is just its own thing. You go, all right. So we got two peanut butters and grape jelly. Can you tell the difference?

That's Peter Pan. That's Simply Jif. This is garbage. Sunbutter. What's the number there? Two is Simply Jif. Three is Peter Pan. And one is Sunbutter. You're correct. All right. Zero hesitation on that. I like that. This guy knows his stuff. Greg, let me ask you this, though, if you don't mind. You ever hear the Mandela effect? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, there's people out there that believe that Jif used to be Jiffy and through the Mandela effect was changed to Jif. Let me tell you something about Jiffy. Jiffy, and that bothers me as much as anybody, as anything, is people calling Jif Jiffy. Yeah. And, you know, I heard you sold Jiffy. No, I didn't. You want Jiffy, you can...

That's stovetop popcorn is what that is. Corn muffins and oil changes. Yeah. Yeah. Go get an oil. Yeah. It's Jif. So it never was Jiffy. It was never Jiffy. And matter of fact, I remember- You could just clear up some Mandela effect for us today. Yeah. I remember one time the grocery store actually wrote on the tag, you know, the little tags on there? They had Jiffy on the tag. Hmm.

And I could do nothing about it because that was a customer. Now Pringles has 160 different, where does this fall on the taste? We've talked about this. Pizza Pringles. We talked about this, came in at number five. And nobody saw that coming except for my friend Gene Williams.

This came out with salt and vinegar, okay? And everybody's like, eh, this will probably be out of the game in three years. And salt and vinegar, that's a player. Quite the opposite. This was a player right away. This tastes like pizza? Yeah, it's kids. It was kids. Kids love it. They still do. My nephews eat this stuff all the time, man. Let me take one of those. Yeah, man, that's a good...

I'll tell you what, man. Nate, this Simply Jeff, it's good, man. Again, you're missing the point. I'm not against the Simply Jeff. No, I know, man. It's against the... A lot of times that happens. That's where I get... A lot of times I can tell when someone just... You weren't thinking about...

me or what this thing was at all. Yeah, don't bring me the diet product. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes when someone's like, I'll go, you'd be like, well, I'll just go get it. Let me, I'll just leave and go get it. And they're like, no, no, I'll get it. And you go, are you going to put any, are you aware that there's other kinds of diet?

That's what I, and then you seem crazy. Then you're like, well, you're being difficult. You're like, no, I just, this isn't 1948. And if you're trying to sell it, if you're trying to sell you on it, get two cans, get the regular Jif and the simply Jif. And then that way you can choose. Bates, when you said they're out of stock on a regular Jif, were they out of stock on creamy and crunchy? I don't eat stuff like that. No, but I was trying to get them all creamy because it would be easy for me to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have not had a Pringle in a long time. Yeah, man. You got any bread?

Now, did you ever say another thing that went bad? Lay's wild chips. Okay. Well, that was us. Believe it or not. Yeah. That was, that was a Lestra. Okay. Which was a fake fat. And we, we got to talk in the microphone. Sorry, man. I'm eating peanut butter. Uh,

Okay. So it was a product called Olestra. The brand name was Aline. It was, it was a fake fat. It was fake fat. It was supposed to be the future of our company. We bet big, big money on it. And it was such a big thing that we actually sold it to our competitor, uh, Frito-Lay so they could have fat free, fat free lays. And we had fat free Pringles and, um,

It had some negative effects. I think it was blown out of proportion, but it had a little bit of negative effects on your gastroenteritis. Yeah. Yeah. It gave people colon cancer. On your stomach. Yeah. That's a good chip right there. I don't think it's potatoes, but that's good. There's potatoes. Yeah. It's got some potatoes in there. There's potato concentrate. There's as much potatoes in there as there are much pizzas in there. I told you guys the thing with that, right? Yeah. I don't know.

It's called, if you notice, these are crisps, not chips. That's right. Because we came out in 68, we were killing it, and the government said, hey, you guys are made up of corn and soy and wheat and potatoes. You can't call yourselves potato chips. You have to call yourselves potato crisps.

Actually, I'm not sure it was the government. I think it was the other chip companies whining. The chip and crisp doesn't really seem like the controversy there. It's the potato part that really seems like the issue. There's potato in there, Dusty. That's a fact. Yeah. It's not all potato. I'm not saying there's not some in there, but I'm just saying if there's a word to change, it wouldn't be the chip or the... We changed it and people were like, yeah, well, we still like them. Yeah, right.

Well, now it's your own thing. My argument. You go, I want a Pringle. Yeah, I made this argument before. I was like, here, let me show you this. You would go, I got chips and I got Pringles. That's how I would tell someone what you want. The government was basically saying, you know they're not 100% potatoes. And my point was people were like, yeah, we kind of figured that when they were uniformly stacked on top of each other in the perfect shape of a horse saddle.

We got that there might be something else in there and we still like them. So back off. I'm 100% against food like that, but I ate one of those chips and I'm like, this is so good. I've eaten four or five of them now. You want some more? No, I'll regret it, but it's so good. You'll be fine, man. So tasty. This is a great, and I'm telling you,

You guys got kids? You got a kid coming? They're going to love this. I'm sure they will. Yeah, when they go off to college and experience it on their own. You don't want to have... You got to expose them. You've never seen... You expose them and they're going to go off... These kids don't even know what a satellite on their house would look like.

They're going to get off to college. Remember that guy? What's DirecTV? Well, I'll tell you what it is. They're not allowed on the top of this house. That's right. That is right. That's right. Remember that guy for the Raiders whose dad never let him have a hamburger at McDonald's once? Are you trying to tell me his secret? Marinovich. And not tell the audience? No.

I really didn't know what he meant. I was like, no, man, I'm saying it out loud, Nate. Sorry. Give two seconds. Greg wants to go talk privately on the podcast.

I was doing well, but the peanut butter threw me, man. Yeah. Yeah. Remember that guy, Todd Marinovich, where his dad would never let him have, he never even touched McDonald's until he became, I think, a pro quarterback. Yeah. And he was, well, he, that kid went like kind of spiraled out. Yeah. He went off the deep end. That's why I'm saying give your kid a couple of pizza. No, with drugs. Oh, okay. But he was like an athlete.

That was like the top guy and all this kind of stuff. I like that, though, that we blame the dad for his dad kept him from eating McDonald's. And then he's like a drug addict. We're like, see,

Let him have McNuggets. No, I think there was probably some other strict behavior. Yeah, let him have some McNuggets, man. Yeah. I'm telling you guys, this Simply Jif is good. I'd like to try that sunflower butter there. You didn't touch that. No, you don't want to try that nonsense. Yeah, the soup. Yeah, you got a little spoon there? You didn't try it. He didn't even try the sunflower butter. Yeah, here you go, man. Get in there. That is, I mean, out of us doing a taste test of peanut butters, this was...

Not the best choices. This is great. It's a little soupy. Yeah. But see, this is supposed to be hippie, but still it's got mono and diglycerides. And it's like... Well, you gotta have those. Yeah, those are preservatives so that it has a good shelf life. Yeah. I don't know if that's true, but that's what they say. Oh, yeah, man. When everything goes down...

Seriously. Yeah, you'll be glad those are in there. And we're in the bunker. Yeah. Yeah, you'll be happy that we have some Jif with a little bit of preservatives in there. Yeah. And Pringles. I've been thinking about that. You're talking about your preservatives. I bought a bomb for laying anything on top of it.

Are you sad that there's too many preservatives? All your crops die in the nuclear winter. Yeah. It's not a joke about it. Yeah. I've decided that if that happens and I, I want to die in the bombs. Yeah.

You're not going to go down. You don't want to go under? I don't want to go under. What happens if the... What if the bomb goes off in LA, right? So we're not affected initially by the bomb itself, but there's a nuclear winter and all the crops die. All our crops come from California. Yeah, but we started with our own crops. So you're not going to die from the bomb itself. So what would you do? Nah, I wouldn't want to die right away. Yeah, yeah. Of course. Dude, and you get down there in those bunkers for a while, man. They're going to...

They're going to start booking comics right and left. That's true. That's true. Truly underground comedy. Yeah. However you send your avails. I think there is no bunkers, though. I feel like you are talking like we're all going to get sent out of bunkers. I think you have to have your own bunker. Yeah. So it's not a system. It goes...

Like everybody's being promised some bunk. You're like, yeah, well, where are we, Dan? Like, we're just like, yeah. I pay my taxes. There's no bunker. We'll all be the mole people. Yeah. Underground. Yeah. It's there's, I think you have to have your own bunker. I think rich people have them and dusty has it. Well, I'll work on something.

Yeah. You know where to go. Yeah, I got a spot. Dusty keeps alcohol in his house just to negotiate with people if it ever goes down. That's true. Now you're giving that away. Well, I don't think those people are listening to this. No. That's true.

That's true. But you're saying, yeah, if they... Well, you know, I mean, there's a lot of alcoholics out here. So if suddenly the supply chain broke down and there was no liquor, that'd be pretty valuable. It's like gold, man. Yeah. That is true. And then you hand it out. Yeah. Do the peanut butter. All right. Well, that was taste.

All right. That's good. We solved some things today, boys. Man, I'm glad that worked out. I felt like my whole career was on the line. Yeah. You really nailed it, though. You didn't even go for the, because you can tell this is a runny kind of. Well, we did your favors by just outlandish choices. Well, Peter Pan. Outlandish. Let me ask you, when you ate that peanut butter, did you like it? The peanut pan, did you like it?

You know, for what it is, if you put a Jif, if you went regular to regular, I think that the Jif is going to have a little bit, it's going to be slightly sweeter than that, I think. It's got... It's got a better peanut in it. No, it's not jelly, but what's the other black thing? Blackberry. No. No.

Sticky. Molasses. It's got a little molasses in it, I think. Backstrap molasses. Blackstrap molasses. I think it's backstrap. It's black. Is it black? Pretty sure. I thought it was back. Yeah. Backstrap. I'm going to say blackstrap.

It's got a yellow label on it. I know that. Blackstrap, you're right. That makes more sense. It's fun stuff, man. Sorry, man. We got off there a little bit. If you ever wanted to hear a conversation when two men should go to bed on a rocking chair on the porch and they should call it a night, that's about where he goes. I think we got to get up in the morning.

This podcast won't be to everyone's taste. Rocket money. All right. That's it. I'm in Moline this week. Moline, the Minnesota State Fair, and then Fargo. Also, the Naland Aaron special shows might be all sold out.

All but one of them. All but one. And then Nick Thune, two shows on Sunday. That's Sunday. So come to that. Also check out the showcase in Nate Land. We're going to be doing some fun stuff in Nate Land Entertainment. So we'll keep you posted and kind of keep you informed on what we're doing. All right. This Saturday, I'm in Atlanta at Vision Studios. So please, if you live in Atlanta, Georgia area, come to that.

August 29th through 31st, I'm in St. Louis at the St. Charles Funny Bone. All right. Yeah, man. Yeah. You can see Greg.

I'm out of town, but I'm trying to get him hooked up with a few things. Yeah. Yeah. That's Labor Day weekend. So come to that. September 15th. I'm in Tempe, Arizona at the Tempe Improv. And September 17th. It's a hot club. September 17th. My next show here, Brian Bates and Friends at the Lab at Zaney's. It's a big date. This is a big club. Yeah, man. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. You're going to kill it in St. Charles. Thank you, Greg. Yeah.

I'll be at Zaney's in Nashville tonight, and I'll be in Knoxville on Thursday, and I'll be in Birmingham Friday and Saturday. All right. This weekend, Aaron Weber here. I'll be in Dallas, Texas, technically Plano, but we know it's Dallas. I'm at the House of Comedy, Plano. Five shows, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Come on out to Dallas.

Dusty Slay here and I will be this weekend. I'm back in theaters, baby. I'll be, uh, yeah, Raleigh, North Carolina, man. Yeah. Raleigh, North Carolina on, uh, Thursday. No Friday, Charlotte, North Carolina on Saturday and North Myrtle beach. Oh, cool. Uh,

Sunday. You gotta ride jet skis, man. Oh, yeah. At the Greg Rolls Legacy. Greg Rolls is my friend. He used to be the head guy at the Alabama Theater in Myrtle Beach, and now he's left and opened his own theater. And it's very exciting. I think I'm his first comic. It's gonna be hot. Oh, nice. It's amazing. Alright. Well, have a good week. We love you. See you next week. Bye. Bye.

Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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