213: #213 Senses Part I - Vision
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Today's episode of the Nateland podcast, I think it said prodcast, Nateland podcast. That's a different show, isn't it? It is. It is brought to you by Delete Me, Viore, Chime, and Zoc Doc. Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nateland podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, I'm Brian Bates, Aaron Webber.

Your boy. All right. Dusty Slay. He's back. He's back. I think I was here last week. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Felt like you were. Yeah. He was one of the few that was here for the whole episode. I was not here for the whole episode. That's true. That was... Yeah, the first really kind of changing episode we've had like that, I think, where people are kind of coming and going. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, it was one of those... But, I mean, this one will be all...

Everybody stays right where they're at? Hopefully. Until this thing runs into the ground. It's kind of the goal, you know?

Just ride the wave till it collapses. Overstay your welcome. It's a good career. And just personal. Just personal. Yeah, good drive. Just go until people are like, I can't do this anymore, and then do it two more years past that. Right. Be the last one at a house party. Oh, yeah. And make it weird. Oh, yeah. For your first and last at a house party. I bet you're...

You're like in the office when he shows up to her. She's getting out of the shower. You're wearing what the workers are wearing. Yeah.

Would you show up? I'd bring a potato salad or whatever it was. How long do you have to drive? When someone tells you to be there at 6 p.m., do you have to drive around the neighborhood around 5.45 p.m.? Not too early. Not too early? Yeah. I try to decide, like, it's 5.55 now. How am I going to get out of my car? It takes me a little bit. Maybe it's not too rude now.

Yeah, I don't know. It's like, what would be... Yeah, people say six. It's like, should it be six? The first ever podcast we did at your house, I think we were supposed to get there at noon, and I got there at like 11, and I didn't want to... We started at 2.30? Yeah, I didn't want to show up an hour early to your house. I didn't know you that well, and I didn't want to park in front of your house, so I like...

Drove to a random part of your neighborhood and just sat in my car for an hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Till the cops came. Yeah. I would have done that too, though. I appreciate it. I would have just said, you know, just where you go. I've done it before. You go to someone and you're too early and you go, I'll just park in a random parking lot and just sit some alone time.

And wait until it's appropriate to show up. Show up like, oh, sorry, I'm late. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's how he could have showed up like that. Because otherwise it's just like, he's like, yeah, I got nothing going on. You're like, I'm wide open. Yeah, what do you want? He's like, what time do you want to start? Be there. You want to spend the night? Yeah.

Your life at that point was you could spend the night at someone's house without talking to someone. Oh, of course. That really goes away, spending the night. It starts and then it just really kind of... But I still got buddies that are not married and stuff, so they can... You're like, just spend the night. I'm trying to remember the last time I did that. It's been a while. Spend the night? Yeah. Does doing that for comedy count? No.

I guess if you arrange it ahead of time, it doesn't really count, right? I don't think it counts in comedy. Because I think that would be, you know, that just makes it... I mean, yeah, you definitely have a lot of 30, 40-something-year-old people spending the night. But that's, you know, you're working, you're kind of stuck out, like wherever...

But just like someone being like, yeah, come over, just spend the night. Yeah, it feels, I find most adults want to drive home. Yeah. Be in your own bed, yeah. Well, it just doesn't make sense. Yeah, and I think there's a part you just, you know. As a kid, if you knew that spending the night was going to go away like it does, it really goes away.

You know, how are you when you spend the night in people's house? Was it you just sit up with the parents all night? The kids like I barely saw him. He's we watch 60 minutes. Yeah, because Brian came over last night, went to bed at 7 p.m. with my parents. I got to get up and watch CBS Sunday morning. Have a cup of coffee, read the newspaper.

The dad comes down, and I've already went to the driveway to get the paper. Yeah, I got it. I got it, Art. Because you won't believe it. I'm looking at the Wall Street. Did you spend the night a lot? I mean, once I got in high school, yeah, I would spend the night with my buddies some, but not a ton. I never did it a whole lot. I lived out in the middle of nowhere, so nobody wanted to come spend the night with me. Too much gas. In the middle of nowhere of Lebanon? Yeah.

Yeah, I lived out in the country. But Lebanon was not, you know, this is the 40s. But that's what I mean. For it to be the middle of nowhere even there feels like deep out there. Right. It was pre-interstate, right?

No, but... Taking a train to your house. I think people were still scared of the interstate. Yeah. Definitely. The interstate actually, I-40 split our land in half. Did it really? Yeah. When they built it? Mm-hmm. They give you a big money for it? Well, that was before my time, but it was like 1960, I think, but...

Did they have to, did your family, did they have to give your money, family? I think so, yeah. I think they, you know, it's, what's that, what's the term? Eminent domain. Eminent domain, yeah. But I assume that, you know, hopefully you got paid nicely. You would hope that the government could just take it. That's what we don't know. No one realizes that Brian is, like, worth $80 million. And, like, it's just... I know he's big money banks. Yeah. I just do this for fun. He's like...

Is that why you've never given it your all in your career? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just thought. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. That's funny.

Just a funny joke. I don't get it, but it's funny. But it was like, yeah, I didn't want to say it. I didn't even care to say it. I thought, don't say it. It hurt you to say it. It did hurt me to say it, but it was, what do you want me to do? I had no choice. What's even worse is I probably have given it my all. That's a compliment, really. I'd be killing it if I tried. Thank you.

That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. That's nice. You got a big head. That's the nicest thing anybody's ever said. It's a compliment. Yeah. I was the only one, like at my high school, that had my phone number, home phone number prefix was different than everyone else's because I lived...

Under the interstate. Yeah, basically. I had a Watertown prefix. Okay. What's prefix? The area code? No, that's...

Back then, we didn't even need area codes. Was it like the letter K or something? Was your phone number KKL5532? But you're old enough to remember when you didn't have to put in the area code, right? Oh, yeah. You'd just call Trudy and ask for the bait so that she'd connect you. Like Mayberry. Sarah, get me the post office. And then when you answer the phone, you just hear, like the interstate cars going over. Hello? Hello?

There's traffic up there. You got to talk louder. The prefix is the first three numbers. Oh, I didn't know there was a system to that. I thought it was just seven random numbers. But the first three are location specific? Yeah, Opelika was 749. Old Hickory was 847. Oh my gosh. You learn something new every day.

Yeah, then it goes... Well, he would have never... Yeah, he probably just grew up with cell phones. Yeah. Did you even have a home phone? Yeah, I didn't get a cell phone until junior year of high school. Did y'all have a home phone? Good parents. We had a home phone, yeah. Would you call your friend's home phone? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But you didn't have to put in the area code, right? No, you never had to. Yeah. 334, though. Yeah. We were 205 back in the day. I would call my friend Kevin's house and go...

Hi, Mrs. Taylor, may I please speak to Kevin? And then she'd go run and get him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's how it'd go. Thanks for breaking that down. I'd like to know that she ran. I'm just saying we didn't have cell phones. I'd like to know that his mom hustled it, though. I mean, you asked if I called the family phone of a friend. I did not expect an act out of a boring...

yeah, we did it. I'd go, Hey, Mr. Kevin there. Yeah, he's there. It's like, yeah, that's what I figured. I thought you were going to the story. I thought that was very interesting. Bates and I will finish that on our side podcast that we do later. Just boring stuff that got cut off during Nate land. Yeah. Everybody go watch that. Uh, three hours long. Yeah. You know, you ripped this label off. Can't really tell. Uh,

It's, yeah, we, well, the area code thing, when I moved to New York, why I had a New York number was because of the area, the area code was, when I started comedy in 2003 and four, area codes still really mattered. Like you still put in people's area codes. So I was like, well, I got to have a New York area code or they're going to think I don't live. Someone said that to me and I was like, oh yeah, they're going to think I'm, I don't live here because it wasn't,

You know, now people just have the same number. We don't even know what their number is. You don't even know. Yeah, so your area codes are pointless. But even when I started comedy, it was like, well, you need an area code from where you're at. So then they know if I want to do shows in New York, I thought I need to have New York so they know, hey, he lives here. Would you not have credibility if...

Like if you had a random... It was on the verge of where it was just weirder to call someone's... It was just kind of a weird thing to be like, what? My area code is... Like, you know, it was just not as accepted, right? Do you remember that? Yeah, I mean, there's an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine gets the new area code and she's upset about it. 646. Yeah. And then, which was my area code. And so it's... They... When they would do that, it's...

Yeah, it was like, yeah, Seinfeld episodes, exactly. It was just enough to be like, what, you know, where you're like, I gotta press like one or like when you did it, then you would have had to go one blank, you know, whatever your area code was, 1615, and then dial the number. And so that was enough that you could, you could see a comedian. I mean, absolutely. Yeah.

You wouldn't get booked for a show out of pure... You think I'm dialing your... You think you're good enough that I got to remember your area code? There's not a comic on earth that would book you for a show. That would be enough to be like, he's out. You give them an extension too. Oh, yeah. You're done. Yeah, you don't think... I think any comic... Comics don't want to go through any work. So if they have to go... You're not talking to...

Especially if you have a rotary phone. Yeah. A bit extra work there. It's a lot. Yeah. You get charged. Any nines in the number are real tough on a rotary. My friend's family had a rotary phone. There wasn't a need for it. We had regular phones, but if you had to call at his house...

Really a lot of work. 9-1-1 is probably pretty tough. Well, the 9 is tough, but the 1s are tough. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, it's real quick. You better hope that 9 spins fast. Yeah, yeah. You might want to help the 9 get back to 9. Yeah, yeah. You do 9, then you go back, and you go 1-1. Do you think we're all—are we going to eventually run out of phone numbers? Probably can't. It's probably—every number could be—

No, I don't think so. They'll be more mass casual. They say that with cards. What do you mean? What cards? With poker, there's a trillion different hands that can be played. So I would imagine with phone numbers, it's even more than that. There are billions of potential digit combinations. So it's possible eventually that we'll have used up every number, but...

It's like, with people dying and getting new numbers, I don't think you'll ever be a part of it. Yeah, can you imagine, though? It's like, ah, I can't get a number until someone dies. You're on a waiting list? Yeah. Checking the obituaries. Can I get Susan's number? Look up, will we ever not use numbers? Yeah. Yeah. We'll get somebody's best guess here. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, okay, some say by the time we start running out of standard 10 numbers that we have today, we will have found new ways to talk using internet technology, and we won't need traditional. Your AI thing that they just force upon us now. Oh, I just, I didn't even notice that. I just instinctively scroll past that now. Oh, why, you don't want to hear what that says? No, well, it's just like, I don't know. You love this stuff. Telepathy. Yeah, that's what I use. Neuralink. Yeah, Neuralink, once that comes in. Some say, some say, the sum is me.

Some say that phone numbers may become obsolete in the future due to new ways of... That's what I mean. No one even knows any numbers now. So there's no point in knowing numbers. So if you just had your phone be your name or be your... I mean, that's how it gets kind of wild. They go, well, you don't get a number. Your fingerprint is your phone. So then everybody goes, it's like, call Aaron Webber.

And you type in your name, just like you do now. So the number doesn't even matter. And hopefully you never know two Aaron Webbers, because then you'll be like, oh, dude, sorry, wrong Aaron Webber. And he's all sad, and he's like, oh, it happens. Happens every day. I keep getting calls for the wrong Aaron Webber. Yeah. You know what they can use? Yeah, that's true. You just blew my whole thing up. Delete me. I don't think they can fix that now. Yeah. Yeah, you just blew it all up. Never mind. Aaron, tell us about Delete Me.

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Why did you say privacy? You just said it to me to say it like that? Yeah, it's just fun to throw it in there. Because they finally beat him down about the data data thing and he had to give it up. So it's got to be a new thing now. Yeah. Really sticking it to the man, huh? That's right. You know, the guy who has Neuralink says he's unbelievable at video games now.

No, he just plays with his mind? Because the quick reaction, nobody can keep up with it. That's not fair. He said they may ban it in some of these...

video game competitions if you have Neuralink because you're so much quicker. There's only one guy that has it. Yeah. And so he could just... Because you're just imagining it. You're not going like A-A-X-X-X, right? He's just playing it like it's a real person. He's just looking and he goes there, there, there, there. I love that he's putting it to good use. First guy with Neuralink's like a gamer. Well, what games he's playing, that matters. Yeah. And I think he can't move.

Right, he's a paraplegic, and I don't know what you want him to be doing. Oh, I thought you were talking about the guy that invented it, put it in himself. Let's lead with that, guys. I thought, yeah. You make fun of the guy for a while, and then you're like, well, he's really handicapped. Well, I thought you would have heard a news story about the only human on earth that can think with his brain and make stuff move. Oh, no. I didn't know you skimmed by that. I've been trashing that guy for months. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You go, why don't you use your hands like everybody else? Yeah. I know, well, because that's the thing is you think it's one of those weird where you're like, why would anybody do that? And then you're like, well, then he does it. You're like, okay. Well, like he can't move. Yeah. Yeah. So that's wild. Yeah. I mean, that's beyond. I feel really bad for the guy now, and I hate that it had to come to that for him. Yeah.

He was a big fan of yours. He's the Dump Dusty guy. Yeah. Yeah. He just, he thinks about it. Well, let's take that Neuralink out of his brain. Yeah, that's why he's first, because he just thinks. Yeah. And everybody's like, I can't ever beat that guy. Of course not. Yeah. He's in his head. He's thinking Dump Dusty. Yeah. And then he just knows at 4 a.m. he's asleep. Yeah.

Whenever this comes out, and he just, his brain goes, Neuralink goes. I had no idea the Dump Dusty guy was a paraplegic, and now, you know, he's allowed to do it now. Now I know that that guy who does that is severely handicapped, and I'm sorry for him. I wonder, man, you see, like, yeah, it's very confusing that, you know, so that guy can just do...

He can move a computer. A cursor. Yeah, he moves a cursor with his mind. Yeah. You got to be plugged up. Is it Wi-Fi? I got to joke about that. Maybe Bluetooth. Yeah. I don't think there's a cord coming out of his ear, but yeah, he's connected.

Yeah, it's probably Bluetooth, I guess. Bluetooth, yeah. Sometimes Bluetooth won't connect right. That could be a real pain. You ever put a headphone in and it won't connect and it keeps saying, trying to connect. What if that's going on in his brain? It just connects to the car and you're like, God, no. He gets to reset it. He unhooks it and then he goes finding, you know, he searches for. He's like, somebody push the button. Maybe he's like, I got a lot to say. They're like, well, just say it. He goes, I got to find.

Is anybody got a speaker? That's kind of my job. He's got connectors. Oh, is it? Yeah. Oh, sorry. About how I'll have like the, I don't know technology. I'll be at a party. I'm like, what's the Wi-Fi in here? Everybody else will be talking with their brains and mine will be spinning. I'll just be behind. I'll have to run an Ethernet cord to my head. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, you just sit in that till you go. Where's Brian? Well, you got to go over there if you want to talk to him because he's still attached into the house.

Yeah, likely. He's very quick. He's much quicker. You're like, hey, what's going on? Likely it'll be like the movie Surrogates. You ever seen that movie with Bruce Willis? Yeah. Where they're all kind of connected, but they have these robot bodies that go out into the world. That's what it'll be. You looking forward to that? Yeah, I think that'll be a lot of fun.

All right, good to know. Where were you this weekend? I was at... I would have been at home, and my robot body would have went out to Canada. But I did it the old-fashioned way and took everything out there, all of me. Wow. And I was in Canada this weekend. The Great Outdoors Festival, they did an awesome job. We were in Nova Scotia, Halifax. Very cool. I've never been to Halifax. And then Ottawa. Ottawa.

Ottawa, both were unreal. Super cool cities. Rained on both shows. I felt bad. I mean, Canada is getting hit by a hurricane. I didn't even know that a hurricane could get it. They go, they're like, we're getting hit by a hurricane. I go, what hurricane?

And they're like, Debbie. And I go, where is it? I mean, I was like, where is it at? You know, and they're like, Florida. And you're like, well, how is that even remotely getting up this far? But it makes it. Debbie was. It went all the way up the East Coast. Yeah. I mean, and so they had a lot of stuff, dude. We had one of them get cancer in London, Ontario because of rain. They just got.

with it. And so the night, first night of show in Halifax, it rained. It was like nice. They're like, it's supposed to rain a little bit, not too much. I mean, it just downpoured the whole time I was up, like loud. They were storming

so these are two shows i remember more in my life than any show because it was it was they just were like loved they still loved it they just set out there in the rain it was you know they were unbelievable and then the same thing in ottawa ottawa was like it was beautiful it's it's like all right they're gonna have the night before they just canceled sagura's show because of the rain and so they're like but

Right when we get there, it's sunny. Everything's great. And then when I go up, you see it. It just comes down. But they were great spirits. Loved it. Awesome crowd. So, yeah, it was a good time. That's awesome. What about you, Brian? Where were you? I was home. I was off this weekend. Ruth did have a gig here at Zaney's this weekend, so I had to watch the kid while she was here playing.

Look at this. Have some fun. Look at that. How about this? The wife's sitting in. Yeah. That's good. That's fun. What do you think they're talking about on that podcast? A lot of nothing. A lot of complaining. I don't know. Yeah, Lucy had her baby shower here this weekend. It's nice. I did...

I spoke to a group of special needs adults who are going to do a comedy show here at the Lab at Zany's next week called Jokeability. They're a player on disability. And he said, just tell the guy who asked me to just tell a little bit about yourself and do some jokes. And I go, hey, guys, I'm

I'm Brian, I'm 52, and my wife is 48, and one of the guys in the audience goes, ouch. Wow. And then Derek Tenney, you guys know Derek, he's like, Kenny, or whatever his name is. That's not appropriate time to do that.

And then later, when I'm telling my jokes, I tell something about myself making fun, and the guy, again, he goes, ouch. And then Derek goes, no, that's appropriate. The first time was not, but...

It's like, Kenny, are you hurt out there or what, buddy? But no, you roasted him back, didn't you? I did. Well, I did. Yeah, I did. He has a bearded dragon. It's like a therapy animal. And I was like, what is that, your girlfriend? Yeah. I get a big laugh from everybody. Yeah, Ryan was killing. Yeah, you stuck it to him. I'm doing it tomorrow night. I'm doing that. Good. I hope you get roasted. I probably will be.

Fatty. Where was I? Lexington, Kentucky. Comedy Off-Broadway. What a great quote. How did the bearded dragon joke destroy? Yeah, because I think this guy, he really has a girlfriend that he talks about all the time, so everybody else in the audience thought, Ma, this is great. How did he take it? It's hard to tell. He said, ouch. Ouch, yeah. I mean, that's the honest answer. I'm not sure. Yeah.

Oh, do you wish the camera was rolling? That's a great clip. If you would've got it. Uh, that was rolling. They're shooting a documentary on it. So I hope they keep that part in. Oh, they were filming the whole thing. Yeah. Oh, so you got that? I guess there's a, there's a film crew there. I hope that's what they use. I mean, I didn't ask for the footage afterwards. And then you get really roasted online for doing that. Yeah. The beauty dragon. Yeah. Yeah. That's the only clip they show is you going, what's that? Your girlfriend? You,

You just better hope they think you were there. Nobody complains? No, no, I think he's one that lives there. You can say it among your own. Where were you, Aaron? Comedy on Broadway, Lexington. Great weekend. Great club. Really, really great club. A lot of fun. A lot of people came. A lot of people brought gifts. It was very, very cool, man. It was just a great weekend. Thank you to everybody that was there.

I was in Kansas City, Missouri at what used to be the Improv is now the Funny Bone. Great shows. People brought me gifts, too. One night I was on stage and I was riffing about dip for a while. You know, Kodiak, Skull, Grizzly. A lot of fun. And then I made the motion like you do when you pack a can of dip.

Guy in the front row handed me a can. I packed it right there on stage. Crowd goes wild. I'm like, that's what I'm talking about. Did you throw one in? I wish that I would like to. I love dipping, but I'm afraid I'll get roped back in. Yeah, that's what would happen. Yeah, it's good. Dip is really good. Do you think you'll ever go back to material? No.

Not after that. Not after that. It's dip. It's dip. Packing from here on out, baby. It's your calling card. Yeah, I may pack a pack of cigarettes. You know what I mean? You just go around the room and everybody brings in stuff they need kind of put together. Yeah. Start bringing black and milds out, working it, freaking it. You know what I mean? That's what they call it. And I can't wait. I can't wait.

All right. Well, that was fun. All right. Let's start off with you guys. Michelle O'Connor. Julian McCullough should be our New Jersey ambassador. I'm proud to have him represent us this episode. There we go. Can you do a stuff?

New Jersey stuff. I think he is the New Jersey ambassador. He is. Yeah. I bet that that's a heavy weight to carry around your whole... Because you feel like people always attack New Jersey. But he did a good job of acknowledging we are what we are, but also there's some misconceptions too. Yeah. We're also from Alabama. Yeah. We get a lot of... That's what I'm saying. We go through the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. The South is...

Yeah. I mean, everybody's New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they're always hating on us. Yeah, yeah. New Jersey looks down on us. Yeah. They don't come to us and go, look how good y'all are doing. Even though we're doing great. We're doing great. We're having a great time. Justin Higgins. Julian says, the fans come to see Nate. And then we cut to a silent three-second shot of Nate's empty chair.

That was a genius and hilarious editing move. Good job, everyone. We had a good editing team. They'll do that every now and then, some little tongue-in-cheek editing. I like it. Best in the game out here. John Whitebread. Oh, dude. I love that. John Whitebread. John White... That feels like if you get the...

What's the thing? Witness protection? Yeah. And then they put you somewhere else and they go, just make up a name. And he goes, I don't... John Whitebread. And they go, all right, that's fine. And then you're like... Give me a second. Next thing you know, you're like four years later, you're like, God, why did they rush you in these things? Just the first name to keep in my head. John Whitebread. Because I don't know...

There's a bag of bread and... He came home and told his wife the new name. Yeah. We're the white bread family. 212 episodes in, y'all decide not to wear headphones for the first time and no one says a single word about it. I thought we did. I think we just had some technical issues and so we didn't do it. It's our terrible editors over there. And I just... Trying to be super creative. Yeah.

Y'all didn't say anything about it at the beginning? No, it was a last second. We can't wear them. But I like when we wear them because when we don't, we talk over each other a lot. I haven't noticed that. Aaron was real concerned about it. I got to edit the clips. There's six different conversations happening at once. It's tough to, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Brad Davis. We definitely need licensed shirts that say, this is Nate land, not hate land.

Aaron brought some heat to this episode. All right. That's my heat. A pretty basic rhyme. That was right away in the podcast, and it started to cool down, and he cooled down so much that he left. Yeah. I'm out. Yeah, it was like someone that knew they were leaving, but they didn't tell everybody else. So he's like, I'll just come out hard. Yes. Up top. And then by the time he goes, I got to go, everybody's like, well, finally. Yeah. Yeah, we're almost happy you're gone. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Lionel, Lionel, Lionel, Lionel Perez. What are the chances that's Lionel? Lionel. Yeah. I bet it's Lionel. That probably makes sense. Lionel. I like Lionel Perez, though. Liano. Liano. Liano. Lionel.

That makes way more sense. Is that how you spell Lionel? Usually with an I, I think. Okay, that's what threw me off. I smashed the like button because of Dusty. All right. Lionel likes it. Remember that? We had a little riff about smashing the like button. I was there for that. And you guys really gave me like a look and then just went on about your business. Yeah. Lionel gets it. Yeah, Lionel gets it. Yeah. No, I liked it.

Matt Schultz. Was Dusty raised by humans? Was he really pouring water into his cup with the lid on? I get on board with his conspiracy theories, but this is another level. I did notice that. Well, I don't... Yeah, I mean, I don't... I mean, it's like I just was like looking and I was like, oh, there's just a hole right there and it's slanted. Yeah. I don't need to do it all fast. Why take the lid off when I could just...

Pull it right in. I noticed you doing it, and I think I would have said something, but someone was talking, and then it was just kind of like moved past the point. I'm just innovative. Is that the word? Sure. Innovative? Innovative? Yeah. You look like a guy that loves some gutter work. Have you ever cleaned a gutter, though? It's satisfying. I know. That's what I mean. I think this reminds you of gutter work.

Because it's like the water comes down. Yeah, if you've got a gutter that's clogged and you get up there and you pull the leaves away and then the water starts to flow down, it's very satisfying. You ever go down a rabbit hole on TikTok or something of somebody just cleaning drains? You know what I'm talking about? No, but I'd like to. Yeah, I'll send you some videos. I've done watching people use a wood chipper. Oh, that's great. And watching people weed eat and...

I got a weed removal tool that I saw on TikTok. Yeah. You stab it in the weed, twist it, and then pull it out. Does it work? It's awesome. I love that. I almost volunteered to do the whole neighborhood because it's so therapeutic. Wow.

Send me the link. I'd like to get that. I got some. You come on Brian and I's podcast and we'll talk more about it. Wild lilies. You ever seen those? In the spring, they bloom up in your yard and they're purple. Beautiful looking flower. But then they stick around all year. And they have a root that's just like unbelievable. So hard to get out.

No, never quite like this. Maybe it's not even a lily. It's some other kind of wild plant. Lionel's crabgrass. It's a lionel. It's never that beautiful, but beautiful might have been an overstatement. It's pretty. Abby Tilford. Twilight fans have only grown since it's come out, especially since the films were on Netflix during the pandemic. They called it the Twilight Renaissance.

We still love them just as much and are able to make fun of them completely. It's a comfort movie series that my friends and I watch multiple times a year. I get that. I don't remember what he said, but it was like something about... Well, at least during that time you could hide your face behind a mask. You know what I mean? Yeah. Your embarrassment from watching it. I think it was... Julian fell asleep in a movie that was Twilight. Yeah. And we were just talking about how that movie probably has not aged well. Yeah.

But I get what they're saying. Like, you go back and it reminds you of, it would be like a song from high school that you always go, man, when I hear that song, it reminds me of high school. That's what this does for Abby and her friends. Yeah.

And they go back. And during the pandemic, they did it. What's the song that reminds you of high school? Do you have one? Yeah, mine's where we were merely freshmen. Out of all, and I'm not a music guy, but that's the one. Freshman? That's a great song. I love that song. The Verve Pipe, right? The Verve Pipe, yep. I love that song. That song reminds me of- That's like a tragic song, too. I don't know what the words are, but it reminds me of my, it's really my senior year in high school.

because it came out that was a song that was on every time i hear that song i think of my high school and i think of my senior year in high school with my boys we talked about that on episode one we might have right out of the gate yeah let's start talking about some of this stuff again yeah great yeah is it sad i think it's about somebody dying i never got into it i'm guilt-stricken sobbing with my head on the floor stopping baby's breath

Oh, dude, I'd sing that stuff, and I don't have an ounce of emotion as I say those words. Yeah, stop in baby's breath and a shoe full of rice, though. It's like, what is that? Can't be held responsible, you know? Because she was touching her face? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's not super clear, but there's definitely some death involved. It definitely seems tragic, but I love that song. I know this song, and I could... I have no idea. Yeah.

what the song is even remotely about. It's about freshmen. I know, and I was in my senior year. Maybe freshmen in college. Oh, yeah. Maybe right around your age. Maybe around my age, yeah. But it was, I remember that song, so every time I hear it. Oh, jeez. Oh, good night. I just kind of saw what it was about. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you never really look up what the song's about. That's how you ruin everything for yourself. Yeah, I don't know. You might have just... Yeah, it's like... Well, my go-to song was Lightning Crashes by Live. Oh, that's a great one, too. Oh, yeah, I like that song, too. That's a good one, too. I don't know what that's about. I was joking. That's another horrificly graphic... Oh, I like that song a lot. It is a great song. That whole album by Live is really good. Throwing Copper? Oh, yeah. Really good album. These... I mean, really, I take in these words like...

I mean, just, they do not go past the surface. They mean absolutely. I don't even, I couldn't even think of a, like, I just don't even, it just doesn't make sense to me that it's actually someone trying to say something. Yeah. I don't even know what they're trying to say. Who's trying to say anything, you know? Get over yourself. That's how I'll say it.

Who are you? I get it. You know? I used to really think that these musicians, like, knew something, you know? And you listen to the lyrics and you're like, oh, that's really profound. And then you, like, meet a few musicians and you're like, oh, you're all alcoholics. But they probably didn't write the songs. Yeah.

Well, I guess it depends on the genre. You ever have that moment where you're like, all these great songs, these songs we all consider to be the best songs ever, they were all like 19 and 20 when they wrote them. Yeah. Most of these were kids. And alcoholics. Well, yeah, okay. I don't know. There seems to be a theme here that Dusty wants to get out. I say a lot of great art, they're very young when they make it.

Yeah. And then, I'm not saying it's not great, but you get older and you're like, what were y'all even, what was that 19-year-old talking about? You don't know what's going on. I saw a Damien Rice concert at the Ryman one time. I really liked this guy at one time. And he had a song called I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You. Yeah. And he was talking about the song. The Blower's Daughter. Yeah, and he's like, you write these songs and you go, I can't take my eyes off of you. And he goes, you know what? I could take my eyes off her. And I did. Yeah.

It was about his wife or something? I don't know. I'm sure it was just, you know, these guys just go, what would be a beautiful thing to say? And then they ruin it for the rest of us because women hear it and they go, well, why isn't our relationship like this song? And you're like, because that song's three minutes long. We've been together for 10 years. I feel like with now, if it's like there's songwriters too, it's like all these songs are, you know, they're written by someone else, right? A lot of them.

And then, so then you're- It's collaborative. Yeah. Yeah. So then it's just kind of like, you know, in your head, you think it's supposed to be that guy. But it's no different than, I'll play devil's advocate. It's no different than a TV show where you get a writer's room and you get together and then like, you know, maybe it's your vision, it's your show, but you have writers that go in there and help.

Shape it. Yes. Yeah, okay. I see that. But I think a song, when it has this kind of... They're playing on your emotion. So they're playing on... They're really like... They're trying to make you very vulnerable or they're playing to you at a very vulnerable moment. And then you're doing it. And when you really look at it to be like, yeah, man, that might have been eight dudes wrote that song. And they just go...

I'm making a swift judgment that this large group of people are going to be into this thing. Yeah. And so they're going to just say, now if it was that person, and you're like, all right, that's coming from that guy, and maybe then you would be like, it would take you to that point. But these dudes are all sad. That's the thing, too. You can't be, every song is just sad.

The saddest song. Even all the pop songs, like it's these cute, pretty little girls that are just like, I'm miserable. And you're like, it's sad. A lot of great art comes from sadness, man. We see it in comedy too, right? Yeah, you see it in comedy, but it's... Yeah, I mean, all comedy is is...

kind of this like but at least we're trying to uplift trying to spin it into something good you're trying to be like hey let's have fun with it versus with music it's just like no no I'm gonna take you there and I'm gonna keep you there it would be fun to just do a stand up show where it's just sad and there's no turn and it's just like yeah and that's what you know I don't think that'd be comedy let me send you my dates yeah Brian what was your song from high school

Good vibrations. Big band. Big band stuff. Good vibrations. Might have been. What was that? When did that song come out? I think the 60s. 60s. Beach Boys? There's a trend here. You really want to associate it with the 60s. The interstate coming through. Was it? I don't want to get my timeline right. Yeah, go ahead. I don't know if the Beatles, did they start yet when you graduated? John hadn't met Yoko yet. Yeah.

John Lennon was definitely alive during your high school. Yeah. I do remember when he died, though. Your senior year in high school. Yeah.

Do you want to say something, Dusty? No, I'm listening. I'm trying to find out what your high school song was. My senior year, Milli Vanilli was really big. And MC Hammer, You Can't Touch This. I remember that was big. I remember that. That's fun. I mean, that's a great song. I mean, it was at its time. But that's funny to think about. You hear MC Hammer and you think about high school.

He had the praise. I was in elementary school, I think, when that song came out. He had the song Pray. You got to pray just to make it. That was a good song, too. Bon Jovi was big when I was in high school. Living on a Prayer? Shout to the Heart? Yeah, great song. Carter Heights. As a former college swimmer, I can confirm that not all swimming races are created equal.

Things to consider are the depth, the walls, the blocks, the kind of lane lines, the width of the lanes, and just for the record, a cooler pool is preferred because the hotter water will zap more energy. Also, Dusty, you're too confident about you fitting in Olympic swimming. Try the gun sports. Working men like you do those.

That is the shooting the gun thing that this week in the Olympics you would be. Well, this guy, he doesn't even know. I never said Olympic swimmer. And I've clarified many times that I don't mean the best swimmer in the world. Dusty said he was better than Michael Phelps. So Carter is not an Olympic swimmer, so you definitely mean... Not an Olympic thinker or listener. Yeah.

But you think with Carter, but he's a college swimmer. Yeah. So you think you could blend in with him? Yeah, I think so. Here's a dumb question. Maybe Carter or Dusty, maybe you can weigh in. Why does the depth of the pool matter at all? I imagine Carter dives too hard, I think. There's more water. Scrapes his chin on the bottom. You're swimming at the same level. Yeah, but there's just more water in there.

Some people commented that the ripples you make on the way down, you want to try to avoid those on the way back. How do you do that if you're in a lane? Well, you go lower or higher or whatever. Oh, okay. Maybe if you can stay under them a little bit more when those guys can hold their breath a little longer and stay under them more. Yeah. And then...

But he is right, though, about the gun sports. I think I'd be into that, too. I'm not really a handgun guy, but I'd like to get into some rifle competitions. Yeah. I'm into that. Hook one up to Neuralink and just have a good time. Yeah, I was a pretty good shot. I was always a pretty good shot. Enough that no one would notice. Yeah. And you looked that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you wear a Viore? Of course I would. I'm wearing Viore right now.

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They are great. I wear the shorts every day. Shorts I wear all the time. These pants I wear. I've long said that you're only allowed to wear jeans at the airport. But since owning these Viore, I've switched my whole point of view. Well, they kind of look like they look nice. Yeah. They look good. The shorts with the...

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Wet them, cleaned it up, no big deal. Yeah. Viori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they're offering a 20% off your purchase, your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate. That's V-U-O-R-I.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping.

On any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Go to Viore.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viore clothing. Wow. All right. Jake Flackus. I feel like I know that last name. Flackus? Sounds like a Seinfeld name. Feels like, yeah. I'm a high school physics teacher.

And I teach about the speed of sound. I think you teach about more than just that. It's a small class. Yeah, all year he's just like, let me guess, every day? Let's take a shot in the dark.

He doesn't. Well, we don't do dark. I felt Aaron's pain when Nate mocked him about his fun fact. As you can imagine, high school students don't really care about sound changing speed depending on temperature. But here's another fun fact. Sound travels 18 times faster in aluminum than it does in air.

Maybe a little off on the fun part of that fact. High school students don't really care about sound changing speed depending on temperature. Oh, yeah. They're like, well, it's hot or cold. That's just one of those things you learn and you keep with you and you never do anything with it the rest of your life. What could you do with it besides tell someone else? I'd become a physicist and I don't know. And do what? Time your...

voice to someone else's head maybe this aluminum thing is why how about we not worry about the why and let's just you know let's get to doing things maybe this is why the police get called for people arguing in trailers you know because it really travels faster in aluminum that's a great yep that's a great point

Maybe traders are like, it's not as bad as it probably sounded. Right. It just seemed like you're really talking fast, but it's just because it's getting there quick. And all the aluminum cans inside. Yeah, yeah.

There's a lot of Lumen. There's a lot of Lumen. On the floor. Yeah. And then you got your truck that says Lumen Siding parked out front. Yeah. You got 10 along the bottom. Yeah. You call 911 a lot, right? I've called it a few times. Yeah, you've talked about that. They show up fast. Well, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. But I don't know how fast they get there. All right. Well, I was just trying to be funny. Oh, no. You live in a little trailer. Oh, no, I get it. He doesn't believe in 911.

That's one of the ones. That's the Dump Dusty thing. Yeah. I get mad about. Yeah. And we go, you can call it. And he goes, no one ever answers. I did want to ask this, Dusty. So there's a couple astronauts stranded in space. Okay. I think you see where this is going. Yeah. Where do you think they're hiding?

Are they not in a ship? No, they are. No, they are in a ship. They're just not going to be able to land until next year. Yeah, why? They're supposed to be there for eight days, and then they had some trouble with their ship. Yeah, why was it? Is it NASA? Yeah, one of the astronauts is from Mount Juliet.

Oh, really? Yeah. What's he doing? They're due back on Earth next February. I've seen that guy a bunch. That hair's fake. You haven't seen that guy. I know who you think that guy is. I don't think you've seen that guy. You're thinking of Mark Kelly. Yeah, Mark Kelly's been everywhere. Mark Kelly looks a lot like this guy. He does. Mark Kelly has a twin brother. I think you're bloated because of space. Yeah, that hair thing's fake, though.

You think they're just standing there and then she puts that on? Yeah, that's hairspray. Yeah, look at that lady. Her hair ain't doing that. They love to do that. They love that feature. That ain't happening, though. Yeah. What did the headline say? The headline says it's what to know about NASA stranded astronauts. Are they a married couple? No. No, but they better get to, like...

Better become cool with each other. Can you imagine having a fight and you're just stuck on the space station for several more months? I mean, yeah, a year. I mean, it's crazy. The Starliner had a helium leak in one of its subsystems that was noticed before liftoff but deemed a manageable problem. But it also had thruster problems once in orbit, and NASA scientists have not yet been able to diagnose exactly what went wrong, how to fix them, or whether they pose a threat during a return to Earth. So...

So your question is where are they hiding? Well, I was just joking with you. Okay. They didn't really go. They're just, but that's the thing is Elon Musk's not going up there. Yeah. He's going up and back all the time. Right.

Elon Musk? Yeah. Him personally? No. Or SpaceX? Not all the time. I think they're the next ones to go, but it's not till later. They're not visiting the International Space Station. They're not connecting with that or anything. Is SpaceX doing better than NASA? No. Oh. Well, they're inventing, like, the reusable rockets are insane. Yeah. But they're not doing everything NASA's doing. But I think they're waiting on SpaceX to go bring them home. So what's NASA doing? Just leaving people up there? Is that what's happening? NASA's...

Come be an astronaut. Go to space for an hour, five years. You find out when you get there. I think you either hitch a ride on a Russia space capsule or you hitch a ride on a private company to get there. Wow. A private company. Like SpaceX or Boeing or something like that. Like, I don't think there's just NASA rockets that take you there these days. They have a four month supply of food and oxygen. So there's no danger of starving or running out of air. Uh,

Yeah, but if they don't come down... Didn't you say they might be up there for a year? That's a lot more than four months. No, in February. Oh, okay. But that's still more than four months. That's still, yeah. But they receive regular resupply flights, and then they have just back stock of four months' worth. I read that wrong. And then why... Yeah, but when they come, they go... Well, you think they're not thinking, like, well, when we go give them food, let's just take them with us. Let's just grab them real quick. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah. I'm sure somebody said that in a room. It's like Uber Eats. We don't do people. That's where someone doesn't want to say it in the room, but then they go, I don't know if I should say this or not. Somebody goes, I'll bite. Yeah. Can't they just hop on? Yeah. And they laugh them out of there. Yeah, that does sound pretty stupid, though. You can get them food, but you can't get them out of there. Maybe they don't want out of there. Well, that could be it. Maybe the Williams couple has been wanting this.

Well, that'd be like one of those automated little coolers that can deliver food now. That's like if they drop something off and they're like, well, just hop in that and it'll take you back home. It's like, well, maybe it's not designed for human transportation. How big is the ship that's taking them up there? I don't know. Maybe modify it a little bit. Well, thank God things are done a little more exact than... Well, just throw a door on there and see what happens. Apparently not. I mean, plane went down the other day in some country. These guys are stranded. I don't think that had anything to do with NASA. Yeah.

Yeah, but they're not, whoever's building flying stuff. They're saying like when it comes, that's what they're saying. The SpaceX one is going up. It's only going to take two and it's going to bring them back. And that looks like it's probably next February. Yeah, like two astronauts that were going to go and never have to stay home. Yeah, yeah. So now they're like, we'll stay home. And then they were going to be there, I guess, from September to February. Man, I feel like if you're up there for that long, you're like, what is there to do up there? Dude.

Nothing. Nothing? So you're like, I'm going to be there September to February. Dude. Like, that Mark Kelly went there for a whole year, came back, he's just like, it's what, I got all this the first day. It never changed. Never changed after that. They go, you didn't see anything again? Nothing else. He's like, man, I wish I brought a book. Yeah. Yeah. Bet that view doesn't get old.

You can't even work out, can you? No, they have stuff there. And I think you have to or else your muscles will deteriorate. Atrophy. Come back bigger than you went up there? Jacked. No, not jacked. I mean, you go, you see him get off of it and you're like...

Like a restaurant's up there? Even eating good, huh? This guy's got a lot of, I don't know, sodium traveled that well. You have to give your weight before you leave, and then you have to give it again. You do come back taller. It's pretty nice. Yeah, that's fun. That's another fun fact. Yeah, that's funner than the sound. You go, oh. There's no sound in space. Something to think about. Mark Kelly has a twin brother, and when he came back, he was a little bit taller than his brother. Okay.

This other guy's not related to the Kelly brothers? This other guy that looks just like him? I don't think he looks like him at all. His name's Butch Wilmore. Oh, I thought his name was Williams, too. Yeah. So what... Well, let's see Mark Kelly. You say this guy... I mean, maybe we're... I didn't know the guy's name. Maybe I'm not even talking about Mark Kelly. I just guessed...

Astronaut. He's a senator. He was married to Gabby Giffords. Internet's down. Yeah, doesn't matter. He looks like just a guy. Typical NASA. Doesn't want us to dig into the facts. We were getting too close on some stuff. Blake Anthony. Hobo is short for Hoover Boy. Hold on. I think I'm reading this. No, that's right. I know, but I think I got it.

Amped up to a longer sentence. Yeah, he has to pace himself. Yeah. Reset. They're like running a marathon, and I just like shot out. And they were like... Gotta get your heart rate, yeah. Hobo is short for Hoover Boy because his presidency made a bunch of people homeless or something like that. Just a random fact I learned in high school that never left. Love the show. It's the highlight of my week. That's awesome. That's interesting. I think you'd already left last week when Dusty asked, did the word hobo come from hoboken?

Oh, that's a good question. It is a good question, I felt like. I didn't feel like it was treated very well when I asked it, but... It was good. Yeah, I just didn't know. And then we got the real answer. Well... We got an answer. Yeah. Parker Bear. Parker Bear. Parker Bear. Parker Bear. Parker Bear.

That's a fun name. Parker Bear. I bet everybody says that name back to him. Yeah. How you doing? I'm Parker Bear. Parker Bear? Parker Bear? Well, hey, Parker Bear. Parker Bear. I know how to park a horse. What? Huh? I'm just riffing out here, dude. Are you? I'm just riffing. You're supposed to be a professional. I was about to say that. Were you really? Yeah.

Just trying to help you out here. He wasn't even going to say it. That's how bad it is. Even Brian. Nike, in ancient Greek culture, was the goddess of victory. In the earliest days of the Olympics, athletes would make sacrifices to her in hopes of winning the games. This is why the company was named after her, so they could promote their shoes by saying they help athletes win.

I saw a couple of comments about this. They made a joke about where does Nike come from? And I just felt like it was a joke. I felt like everybody knew. But it seemed like people were commenting like, I can't believe you don't know who Nike is. But I think everybody... I've never heard of that. I've never heard of that either. I knew it. In the Parthenon, Athena is holding Nike in her hand. And Nike is... The thing in her hand is like six foot tall.

That's how big she is. Oh, that's crazy. I didn't know that. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I ever knew that either. Okay. I think Nike, the company's bigger than this thing now. I think that's where it came from. Yeah, but I'm saying it eclipsed it. Over ancient Greek culture? Yeah. Who's doing ancient Greek stuff now? Yeah, but they're probably, that would be in everything.

Ancient Greek culture would be in everything you do now. You see the Nike swoosh everywhere, too. I know, but I'm saying that anything you do would be like, well, that was from the Greeks. Anything you do, just do it. Just do it. There you go. I think it could be, I wonder if it would be offensive. I wonder if people in Greece don't care for it. All right. Maybe. We get a comment from Mykonos next week. We'll see. He's back, baby!

Jake McCleary My wife and I were driving home from the hospital After our first baby girl was born a few days ago Congratulations My wife had a special song picked out to be the first thing our baby listened to But for some reason, none of the music was working over the Bluetooth And the only thing that would work was this episode of Nate Land Thank you for being my baby girl's first ever car ride listen It put her right to sleep Alright I love it Welcome to the world You know

I love that... I don't know how far the ride was, but I love that the first car ride from the hospital, they're like, let's put on some music. You just had a baby. Let's put on some music. Well, yeah. If music's important, they like to think like, oh, this is the first song we had...

Yeah. I mean, with our first baby, I was like, I can't believe they let us leave the hospital with this thing. Yeah, yeah. That's what I felt too. All they wanted to make sure was that we had a car seat.

It's like, you didn't trust me enough. You have to go to my car to make sure I have that. You're like, no, we got to make sure you have that car seat. But you don't know what else. Like when I leave the, you know, I could have a plywood bed that the baby's right. You know, you want more government intervention. I don't, I don't come to your house. I don't. You're right. I mean, that's a good point, but I don't, but I just think it's interesting that they're like, no, we have to come down and make sure you have a car seat. Do they like look in the eyes?

Yeah. Okay. Like, if you're a good dude. I don't think they care about that. They're like, we just got to make sure you got that car seat. Okay. Once you're off their property, then it's just their liabilities going. Yeah, exactly. They want to make sure you didn't take any of their towels and that you, you know, have a car seat. Yeah. Well. Hey, can I ask you guys a question, though, before we get? Is the internet still down? I'm curious about this. Is that the question? Yeah. What are you looking for?

There's an animal called a narwhal. Yeah. I don't know if you guys are familiar with this. It's in my daughter's animal book. Yeah, I got it too in some of my daughter's books. And I'm like, I don't remember this animal as a kid. No.

I feel like a narwhal is the type of animal that a kid would be into, right? I don't remember this. I think I'd call it a swordfish. Yeah, I don't remember this growing up. Nobody ever talked about it. Yeah, that's not a swordfish. And then all of a sudden, this animal's popping up everywhere. Narwhal. And I'm like, what is this? Where did this come from?

If you're at home, listen, it looks like a whale got stuck in the head. Someone stabbed it in the head with something. It's like a unicorn of the sea. Oh, my gosh. Look at this, dude.

There you go. National Geographic. I'm never going to your website again. That's a ticket to them, man. I think they're going to fill that. And I'm just like, I don't think this is real. I think that they're playing a game on us. Now you're still National Geographic. Oh, dang. That's the same thing. You went immediately. You said, I'm never going to do it, to immediately I'm going, you know what?

I'm going to say in the family. I'm just not going to do the main one. So all I'm trying to find out is... You think this is made up? Yeah, do you remember this as a kid? This feels like it would be the first animal they teach you as a kid. You hear about it. You would. And I don't remember it. It makes me feel like I want to yank that horn out of that. Yeah. And he would just be relieved. I think this is made up. I think they're making this up to mess with us. Yeah. Those are the only pictures. Look at this. Look at that. Yeah, it does look like it's stuck in there and...

Do we know what the purpose of this horn is? I don't think they do. I looked up some... I don't think they know the purpose. It's not for hunting. Or they said, you know, that like they can swipe an animal with it. Scientists don't know exactly why narwhals have tusks, though they might be used to impress females or fight other males. But they're more than battle swords. They're packed with nerves and covered in tiny holes that allow seawater to enter. Interesting. Yeah, I could see what if it is... This is an animal...

That's like Bigfoot that they're just like going with. Yeah. They're like, well, we'll just make some pictures up. Yeah. Where are they at? And they're only where no one can go? Had Hannah heard of these? Because they're up near Canada. I don't know. I don't think so.

I remember, first of all, Elf. There's one in the movie Elf. Really? You ever seen that? I have seen it. Bye, buddy. Hope you find your dad. That's a narwhal. Oh, okay. So I know it most recently from that. So early 2000s. But I want to say when I was a kid, I had a book where it was like you went through the alphabet and there's an animal for every letter. Yeah. And narwhal was one of them.

There's better N animals. I'm trying to think of one. Like what? Name one. Is there any video of a... Nighthawk? I mean, that's crazy. Is Narwhal spelled with a G or an N? No, just an N. Yeah, what would you... I spelled it with a G when I Googled it, I'll admit. What's another with an N? What's an animal for an N? And I immediately pull up a National Geographic YouTube video. They control the information. Yeah.

I mean, I agree with you, Dusty. I'll be going through my daughter's. It'll be the most common animals you think of. Elephant, giraffe, and then narwhal. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't even know what this is. Yeah. I'm like, I've never seen this. A unicorn doesn't seem so crazy now, does it? Well, that's what I've always said. People always act like that's so crazy. I'm like, there's lots of animals, four-legged animals with horns. Yeah, but they also fly and stuff, too. Well, I mean, but that could be added on.

Yeah, that's so, man, that would be just so annoying to have. I think every time it turns, it's like, kesh. Yeah, nothing seems practical about it. Always hits a wall. It's like trying to move a bed. Everywhere he goes, imagine Narwhal, you invite him over to your house, he's like, he's got to come in kind of at an angle. Squeeze him through. And you're like, oh, gosh. No one even wants him over there. Excuse me, excuse me. He goes, kesh.

Hey, Narwhal's coming in. Everybody's got to back up. You got to open, unlatch and open both doors. And he kind of comes in. And you're like, just stay there. You have to give a designated area. Because if he turns, if he says yes or no with his head, your whole house gets... No one yell his name, he'll turn his head. Yeah. Knocks something over. That's interesting, Destiny. Wow. I typed in animals that start with, and it already had in pulled up for me. I didn't even...

I didn't even type that in. Well, maybe there are. Maybe that's true. There's not a lot. There's like, they have like naked mole rat. Yeah. Newt. A newt. Newt. Oh, a newt is weak. I like a newt. Yeah. A nightingale. Just do salamander at that point. Aaron, you want to tell us about Chime? Oh, yeah, dude. I'll chime in. Yeah. Newts can regrow lots of newts. I am so excited. It's summer again. I'm actually not. It's my least favorite season. But...

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The Chime Credit Builder Visa Credit Card is issued by the Bancorp Bank, NA, or Stride Bank. NA spot B eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Out-of-network ATM withdrawal and OTC advance fees may apply. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. What video is this? It's a Narwhal. No, is it National Geographic? No, I had to find something else. It was like something else. This is real science. Yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah, they put in some stuff that's like, come on. Oh, didn't they? It looks like, does it echolocate in the water? I don't know. What happened there? They just kind of sucked it up. Yeah, these things are wild, man. I don't think it's real. Yeah, I don't know. It's kind of the same picture. I'd like to see one in person.

I just think this kind of thing exists, but if you think there's a Loch Ness Monster, you're an idiot. Well, the difference is there is a lot of video of narwhals.

A lot of the same video. It's easy to make video now. Yeah, a lot of the same video. You're telling me they can't CGI a horn on a seal? Well, of course they could. Oh, yeah. Why can't they CGI a Loch Ness Monster? Well, they don't want us to believe in that. Well, that's because that's the whole town's economy. Yeah. What are you going to do? Go, it's not here? The whole town should stay. And if you have it on video, then people don't need to go visit to watch. Yeah.

All you need is like every 20 years just have a little pop-up. Yeah. Now these narwhals. Look at these guys. Yeah, what is it doing? Getting radio signal? They got to breathe. They got to get their head out of the water. Then I think we should know more about them. Yeah. It's not like they're, you know, this looks like an animal that we should. Animal fights. I think we know about them. I think it's just us that don't know them. You just try to look it up and then they were like, I don't know. He's getting too close. It's like, you know.

God, it's another Nat Geo. Oh, yeah, on our planet on Netflix, they had a whole Narwhal section here. Oh, yeah. Pretty amazing. Look at all that CGI. Well, yeah. It's easy to do now. Yeah. Look at that. That's totally CGI. And some of them don't. Some of them don't have horns. Yeah. The lucky ones. Yeah. I bet if you're the only one that doesn't have one, you're like, man, I wish I had a horn. Yeah.

until you get like stuck in some ice you're like oh that's really at least they have something to kind of hang their something on you gotta just be the one with the horns like will you carry the keys tonight i guess i guess i have to yeah it just feels like there's a big push in the children's book world over the narwhal

My daughter's like, what's that? I'm like, I don't know. I had a lot of animal stuff as a kid. I got to go through and look through some animal stuff that I had. I still have them. I want to see it. We might not have known about it. When were they discovered? Yeah, I'm about to look that up. Like they, you know, could have been recently. Three days ago. There you go. Just found out about it. Wow. Okay. I bet they've been discovered for hundreds of years. Yeah. They discovered carcasses in 1914. Yeah.

Yeah, we've known about them for a minute. Yeah, but 1914, for that to get in children's books, if they discovered it in 1914, to get into a 1980 book, I don't know if Narwhal is going to make it. No internet, no anything. Is it going to make its travels? Where with the internet now, everybody's like...

They're like, we're turning normal again? I also don't trust Wikipedia, really. I mean, it's like, don't I have a Wikipedia page now that people are just editing willy-nilly? Yeah, it's true. There are 170,000 of these things in the world. The species is listed as being of least concern by the International Union for Conservation of Nature. So these are not like...

Some of these killer whales or whatever else that we have to protect. Oh, okay. I didn't know what they meant by least concern. They're like, we don't care about them. We worry about them. I think that is what it means, right? Say we're not worried about them becoming extinct. Yeah. Yeah. That's what, yeah. You said it was just like, we don't even talk about it that much. We don't even care. 170,000 didn't even seem like that much to me, but I guess it...

I guess we don't need them for anything. The narwhal has been hunted for thousands of years by Inuit in northern Canada and Greenland for meat and ivory. So it's been a part of their lifestyle for thousands of years. All they have is meat and ivory. I don't know if they have to say that. They're hunting them for meat and ivory. You're like, what is it? What's that fish made out of meat and has an ivory horn coming out? Is that why they're going after it? No. It's their eyes.

They don't have anything else. Yeah. It's true. It's a lot. All right. I would not have guessed that horn was ivory. What would you have thought it was? I don't know. Just like a stick. Save the elephants, kill the narwhal. That's what I say. If we need to make piano keys, let's get the narwhal. Yeah. Yeah.

I bet if you had narwhal ivory, that'd be pretty expensive. Yeah. You definitely tell people when they come over. Yeah. They go, is this elephant ivory? No, this is narwhal. Oh, elephant? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Well, this week, totally different subject. We're talking about the senses.

That's not a total departure from what we're talking about. The census? The census, yeah. I say it. Not census, like... Census. Like we want to know the population. Yeah, like the... Smelling. The five senses. Yeah, do you know the five senses? The five main ones? Hearing, taste, smell. Hearing, taste, smell. You may only have three. Yeah. And then... A big one. C. C.

That's how scientists describe it, C. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's it. That's the most important one. All right, podcast done. All right. So if you all had to give up one, what would it be? Smell. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, smell. Can you give up smell without giving up taste? They're so interconnected. I'll allow it. We could. I mean, I have no game to have a conversation. Well, what do you want me to just go, yeah, and then we move on? I'm trying to... It's...

I see what you're saying, but go hand in hand. If they're two separate, I know, but then that would mean they're one. So then they're one sense. No, but I mean, they lend themselves to each other. I mean, I can get on board with what you're saying. Then give up taste because then you can like, if you're eating it, you're like, well, I'll just smell it and I'll be like, ooh, that smells good. I love taste. Smell I can do without.

You know what I mean? COVID got rid of smell for a lot of people. I know, but you don't taste stuff as well. I know. I had a friend growing up born without a nose on his face, and he could smell through his mouth by tasting stuff. It's not funny, but it's like, just when you say it like that. I don't know the name of the condition, but you could hold food up to his mouth and he could breathe it in and taste it. So it's like they're more connected than we think.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know the point of why I just said that. Would you say C, just because you want to make sure you can taste and smell food? You don't want to give that up at all. You go, I'll give up seeing and hearing. Just to keep doing it. And they go, we don't got to give up too. He goes, I don't care. He goes, go ahead and take two. I'm the Helen Keller of the food world. Yeah.

Yeah, I would say smelling. I think smell's the obvious one. But to your point, I mean, if you can't lose smell without affecting your taste, then that's a bigger issue. Definitely be a bummer. I think smell's the easiest one to go. Yeah. Aren't there conditions, you look up any of the conditions where you don't have any sense of touch? Yeah. It's actually, it's super dangerous for people to have. Yeah. Tony Junji's son has that condition.

Oh, really? So he doesn't feel anything, feel pain or anything? Yeah, it's very dangerous. Yeah. You know what? I remember a kid growing up, and he didn't feel pain.

And so you could do anything to him. I mean, I don't remember. We used to beat him up all the time. We used to take a bat to him. And I tell you what, this kid. He took him like a champ. We would throw him in front of cars and let him hit him. And that was fun because then the car was like really upset. But I do remember a kid not feeling good.

pain like he wouldn't we never did anything but you could pinch him or punch like he would never and he just wouldn't feel it I was like that's crazy

Was he diagnosed with this condition? I don't know if we got into it. We were eight years old. I don't know if I asked him. Tell me about the history of your doctor history. It's a kid that said he can't feel pain, so we threw rocks at him, and then I think we moved to another neighborhood. I think he was just trying to fit in, and it hurt him. Yeah, maybe. I remember him not being able to.

feel like say he couldn't feel pain one out of every 125 million people have this condition so maybe I mean what are the odds that apparently like well John and Jane Doe yeah

Yeah, maybe this could be my John and Jane Doe too, as I go, I met a kid that didn't feel pain. And it learns out, he goes, I find out he's like, no, I just couldn't cry. And you go, oh, that's very sad. You couldn't cry? Nate had a joke about John and Jane Doe. Yeah, I do know that one. Oh, do you? Yeah, I'm a comedian. I've been in comedy for a while. There's an episode of House about this.

About somebody that had a teenager that had this. Yeah, you just... You ever watch a dumb show? What, I mean, honestly, you ever... What's the dumbest thing you've ever watched? Below Deck? All of my wife's shows, Below Deck, Real Housewives. Yeah, besides those, you. Have you ever... Do you ever go watch...

Or do you just memorize the crazy smartest shows on the planet? I'm trying to think. I mean, I don't know. Like, The Law and Order, those are like kind of... That's The Law and Order. That's still like, that's like cases. Do you ever watch a show that maybe the stakes aren't a human being, life and death? Oh, like... Like, West Wing is... Any comedy, The Office or something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

The British version, though. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It would be exactly that. Because... Did they have an American one? I had no idea. Sports Nightmare in Sorkin. That's what I put in my thesis to get a Notre Dame. I'm a big fan of The Office. The British one? I think I have to say that. I think there's an American one. Oh, no. My favorite comedian is Bill Hicks. You just...

Just like every other, not saying Bill Hicks is not a great comic, but that was the comic everybody said when I came up. I'm a Bill Hicks fan. Are you? Is everybody a big? Yeah. I'm sure they were, but it was just the name. It was the name for a long time. I do love Bill Hicks, but yeah, everybody was saying that for a long time. It was like the cool name. You go, oh, that guy's an intelligent comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He likes Bill Hicks. All right. Who would it be now?

Well, it went through a lot. Mitch Hedberg for a while. I think still Hedberg's around a lot. Stan Hope's a lot. Stan Hope's a lot. Hedberg is, I think, creeped into regular people's thing that they say. To show that they're into comedy, they go, Hedberg's my favorite. That's the name that's now like, hey, I'm a fan of comedy. Are you? You're a Hedberg fan? Of course. Hedberg's a...

You know, that's the cool, and rightfully so, but it's like you can see, I hear a lot of people tell me their favorite comic was Hedberg. Yeah. The most dominant sense for humans is vision. What does that mean, most dominant? Most of them, we do it the most. It's the one you lean on the most to perceive your world. Oh, okay.

I think that's what it means. But men are more visual creatures than women. Yep. They can't see well. Women are like bats. That's not quite what I – They work on radar. They go, what is it? It's because their hips are too big? And that affects their eyes? I bet that's the case. Women got these wide hips. They can't see. Because this is all science.

People with a lower IQ are more likely to be colorblind. I'm colorblind in these meetings. This is awkward. I had no idea. I thought, ha.

You said men see better than women on average? Yeah, we see everything better. Are you crazy? It's not actual eyesight. It's more of what you're interested in. If you were looking at a woman, you're more interested in her actual looks.

Where a woman is more interested in emotional and contextual factors such as touch, intimacy, and emotional connection. Thankfully for us. That is the case. Thankfully for us. Men in general. What do you mean? Well, yeah, because I think we're thankful that women are looking at more than just looks. Oh, right. Just in general. I'm very thankful for that. Thank God every night.

But no, colorblindness, it is. 95% of people who are colorblind are male. So what colors can you not see? You could, though, if you type in colorblind test. Have we done this one here? I think we have. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it's red and greens. And so, I mean, there could be whatever the number would be. I don't, you know. But you start knowing. I know that number is seven. I can see that. And then keep going five. Yeah.

I cannot see any number right there. I see absolutely nothing. I look like I see purples. Are those purples? Yeah, it was the number one in the middle in green. Oh, yeah. So I see four there. Yeah, six. Eight, maybe? I don't know, maybe. Close. Three? Yep. Okay. I didn't really see. But would you know all your numbers if it was normal? Yeah.

I think he can see that. That one's tough. That's tough to see. Yeah. That's not hard. But I can kind of like, I always think I'm not bad at colors, but red and green, you just kind of know, you know, more. It's funny I say, it's like, well, Eleanor talks. So I'm not bad at colors. I don't think I'm bad at colors. Yeah.

But I mean, yeah, red and orange can get a little, if you start getting too close, blue and purple, green, blue and green. But you kind of just learn, you know, over years, you just kind of, like is the B in that B funny? Is that orange? Yeah, it's orange. Orange, yeah. I can see that.

Now, Aaron, what do you think about this? So I have to say, our vision has evolved over time. And there were a time many years ago where we couldn't see all the colors that we see now. Oh, yeah, I believe it. Like the color blue, for example, in The Odyssey, written by Homer, described the ocean as wine dark in other hues. They think maybe at that time, people couldn't perceive the color blue. What if he was... That recently? Yeah.

It's more likely that the water was a different color. Thousands of years ago. I was thinking millions or whatever. No, that's just... He probably went at night. Probably wasn't as much fishing. And something was going on with the water. Yeah. I bet if you could go back and talk to Homer... Homer was a guy...

That's a tough woman's name. Yeah. So there's Homer. Look at it. He can't even wear this guy's outfit. And so he didn't have eyes. So Homer. Smell of the ocean. Yeah. I mean, how much stuff would be if you could go back and talk to Homer and go, hey, was it dark? He goes, I don't know. It just sounded good. He goes, that was like, isn't that a cool way to write it? You go, I know, but we're...

People are doing science stuff based off that. Yeah, almost 3,000 years later we're talking about it. What I'm trying to say is, do I see better than you? Yeah. I think if anything, we always are worse than... I think we probably see less than Homer. Opposite. Yeah. Because you needed your eyesight more because you had to hunt...

And so everything was better. Yeah. That's what I would have thought. Listen to this. Some ancient accounts about Homer were established early and repeated often. They include that Homer was blind. I mean... Aaron, you're upstaging my thoughts. It's already...

I mean, yeah, he thought it was that good. So, all right, in that case, I guess our eyesight is better than Homer's. What did Homer say? I take it back. He described the ocean as wine dark. That's how everything looked. Yeah, I know. He goes, what'd your house look like? It was all wine dark. He goes, it had chairs in it. I do remember there's chairs. But they were wine dark, too. They were wine dark, too.

Surprised that my hands were wine dark. Yeah, he's blind. I don't even know what he's writing. How could you write? What did you have to do? Was it stone? You got to just haul that in and you go, you know, that's tough. You know what Homer could have used? ZocDoc. I'm throwing a pitch to myself.

Getting a good doctor is hard to find. I recently had a bad experience with a doctor. And thanks to ZocDoc, now I can find and book in-person or telemedicine appointments for medical or dental care. I want to know more about that. It's helpful for people that are on the go or work different hours like we do. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment.

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That's a lot to say. It is a lot to say. I want to know. Well, Nate's gone for now. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. See, I told you that you had said this will be an episode where everybody stays the whole time. And I said, well, we'll see. Well, he's coming right back. We'll see. We don't know where he went. That is true. Yeah. Shout out. Where'd those donuts go? Should we shout out Krispy Kreme? Yeah. Yeah.

Not really a sponsor, but I did have a Krispy Kreme, and I don't know if they're a sponsor or not, but I enjoyed them. Well, we posted a video about Krispy Kreme donuts from the podcast. Krispy Kreme shared it. They posted it on their own social media. Oh, yeah. And then they sent us some donuts today. Ooh, that's crisp. I mean, that's about as good as it gets. Krispy Clean is what I like to call it. That's how good they are. Krispy.

And Nate's back. Apparently, people were asking about the whole bring in the report card and they still do that. And it seemed like it's a case-by-case basis for your particular store. So they said check with your Krispy Kreme to see if they do that. Some do, some don't. Make sure you check in with your local Krispy Kreme listings. Yes. Okay.

I mean, with Homer being blind, how many people were probably blind back then? Probably a good bit. I mean, you just probably got your eye knocked out for anything. Especially if the main writer of your era is blind. Everybody's got to be blind, huh? Yeah, I guess so. What do you even write? I mean, I'm not making fun of people that are blind, but what do you even write about, though, if you're blind? What did he do? What did Homer do? Smell? Taste? Taste?

What did Homer what? Do. What was his job? He was a poet and an author. And so, what did he, he wrote Odyssey? Yeah, Iliad and the Odyssey. And these are just books.

They're the most famous of all time. Yeah. Yeah, they're two epic poems. So they're like long. It's not written in prose like we would write a book now, but it's like, yeah, they're essentially stories. Written in amateur. Amateur, yeah. The opposite of poems. You know how annoyed I would be back in the end if he's like, he goes, do you mind reading these poems? He goes, they're a little, they're longer than my normal poem. You're like, oh my gosh. You're like, you gotta...

Because at this point, you're just used to finally read poems, and then you're like, oh, no. He just kept going. Kept going. And the movie Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? was kind of loosely based on The Odyssey. That's fun. I thought that was like a submarine movie. Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou? Or The Odyssey. Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?

Ancient languages, including Greek. Is there something underwater? I think that the sirens are in the water. Poseidon Adventure. And maybe in any battles of Cyclops. When did you read both these books?

A long time ago in literature class. I don't remember much. In college. In elementary. High school. High school. This and Beowulf were the two. I remember Beowulf. I don't remember what it's about, but I remember they were- Not Baywatch, Beowulf. Actually, you don't know. I remember- I've got a young Aaron Weber over here. Did y'all touch in this? It seeped over into you? I remember, I think I was supposed to read Beowulf. I don't know if I did, but-

I remember it was like, you better read it. I think there was like the movies, The Adventures of Sinbad. You remember those? Not the comic. He was like a pirate or whatever. It would have been pretty cool if it were the comic. I was a big Sinbad fan. Live in Aruba. Remember that one? Oh, sure. But it was really good. But The Adventures of Sinbad were really, I think they did an Odyssey. And it was great. Really fun. Yeah.

Yeah, this looks good. Yeah, no, I mean, look, we're making jokes. This guy is still talked about today, so who am I? You know, he did a pretty good job. I don't know if you agree with the ocean stuff, but...

I don't know if we should be basing it off of, you know, maybe it was a different color. I don't know if whoever wrote that is actually the one that's embarrassing. I've seen some pretty dark water before in the ocean, too. Yeah, yeah. But deep, when you go to the deep, the ocean is very dark. Ancient languages, including Greek, Chinese, Japanese, and Hebrew, all didn't have a word for blue. Without a word for the color, there's evidence that ancient humans may have not seen it at all.

This is... When would... Is there any theories about why it would have developed? Was there some kind of evolutionary benefit to seeing the color blue? The sky's blue. They never looked at the sky?

Maybe they just didn't talk about it. No, they... Doesn't even this make sense? No, the thinking here is that their eyes just didn't process the color blue back then in the same way that yours don't now. And that blue developed over time. So the sky, was it just always cloudy back then? No, it was the same color it is today. Their eyes just didn't see it. So what did they see? They just saw how you see colors incorrectly. I know, but why would they...

Why would blue not come into play? That's what I'm asking. The main thing is the sky. That's blue. The water's blue. Everything is blue. Well, if we started, the thinking is if we started in water, our ancestors were water creatures. It would almost benefit you to not see blue because you don't.

You're in the water. It's just like too much. It's like Notre Dame stuff, right? That's what they teach over there? I'm just talking out of my head. It's supposed to be. It's a Christian school, right? Golly. What's the matter with you, man? Old Grandpa Fish. Yeah.

If a fish saw blue, it'd probably be giving them a headache. Yeah, because they're just like, this is too much. Too much. And he goes, I'm going to go up top. And then he goes, damn sky's blue. Maybe that's why they follow boats. Because they just want to break. From all the blue. They like the red. They just want to go, oh my gosh, this is something that's not just this. Yeah. You know?

But how would we get... We see blue all the time because of the sky. So, I mean, we would... Yeah. What, are we going to be annoyed by it? I don't know. There's a guy who lost vision in his right eye in World War II, and doctors told him he should have it removed, but he kept it. 64 years later, he was head-butted by a horse, and his vision came back. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. You got to think that's a little frustrating, though, to go,

All I needed was to be head-butted this whole time. I've been walking around with an eye patch. He couldn't count to eight after that, but he goes, but he goes, throw a baseball at me right now. He goes, I don't, yeah. Lost my hearing, but I can see now. Abraham Lincoln was kicked in the head by a horse. Wow. Came president.

So it does some good things. Be around horses. I've heard about two people being kicked by a horse. One of them fixed their vision. The other one became president. So it turns out pretty good. In Christmas Vacation, I think Cousin Eddie's daughter was cross-eyed, and then she was no longer because she got kicked by a mule or something. So there's three. And sometimes I hit the dashboard really hard, and it fixes stuff in the car. I bet it's the same thing. It needs to be reset every now and then. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm glad you guys got to give it a little horse kick. There's a woman named Veronica Cedar who has supervision. She can distinguish and identify individuals from a mile away. What? Cedar. Have they ever looked in her ears to see a microphone? Cedar. I seed her. I seed her. I feel like we would have heard about this woman.

What good uses would you have for this? To see a mile away? Yeah, we got all kinds of tools. We got telescopes. Yeah, but she doesn't have to have it. Six million dollar man. That's a pretty crazy thing. They're like, Veronica, take these binoculars. She's like, nah, I'm good. I mean, imagine what she can see with binoculars. So then if she can see a mile on her own.

Well, binoculars, I mean, now she can see. Yeah, the beginning of space. She's a telescope. I think that's good. I think that's a good thing to have. You don't think that matters? I would love that. We've got pretty good. I read she couldn't watch TV, though, because she can see all the colors. Is this a made-up person? No, look it up. Oh, she can't zoom out?

veronica cedar her eyes are so good that you know like aaron's uh high school photo it's too zoomed in is that how she sees would see aaron she's got the way his photo is is she sees him so up close she's like back up get back no this isn't yeah she just needs to sit further back from the tv does she watch it just watch from a mile away yeah

Is that her? No. Yeah, I don't know if... Yeah, she was born in 1951, this person was. Yeah, it's a paranormal human mystery. It's considered to be. She wrote a 10-page letter on the back of a post... Wow. Her powerful eyesight enabled her to write a 10-page letter on the back of a postage stamp and read it clearly. I don't believe that. You ain't got no pen, that...

Yeah, how are you going to write that? She teared a piece of paper the precise size of her fingernail. She then carefully scribbled 20 verses of a poem on it. Nah. She died in 2013. And then what? She told you what she wrote? She's like, I can read it. You go, hey, guys, all right. She comes over here. She writes...

The number five down, she goes, take it across the street. I can see through walls. And you go, what's it say? She goes, five. They're like, are you kidding me right now? Nate, if you had to guess what this woman, what her job was when she grew up, what would you guess? A watchman. That's the best job for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Despite possessing superhuman abilities, Veronica pursued her ambition of becoming a dentist.

That would be like, she's like too deep. She's going in and you're like, back up, zoom it out a little bit. And she's like, sorry. She didn't have to do x-ray. Yeah, she's doing your cavity. She goes, but I see a cavity's coming. You're like, well, let it come a little bit. Yeah, next time you're in, you'll have a cavity. I'll tell you that. I can see it. But I think, and Brian, let me know if you have anything on this. All right. I think straight path, total darkness, one.

We can see a match being lit from five miles away. I did not read that. Do you ever hear that before? No. If it's just on a straight cloudless day, that's how sensitive the human eyes are. The horizon you could see five miles? Yeah. Yeah. Five miles. Maybe 50 miles, too.

That's a big difference. Well, actually, I remembered it being 50, but I didn't want to overstate it, so I changed it to 5. I'll look this up. Nobody cares, but I'll look it up later. It looks like seeing a star. The stamp thing. Would it be like seeing a star? You can see a star from maybe the same thing? It's a little bigger than a match being lit, but yeah. But where it's at, you light a match right here, it's a lot bigger. Same distance.

I could line a match and cover a star. The thing about her writing on a stamp, though, it's like you got to have a pen that's really small. It's just not about being able to see. Well, we don't even know if that person's real. Yeah, it's like how you got it. Your pen has got to be so small to be able to do that. And I just I don't believe that. Well, that's everything I had on vision. All right. Let's try to see how many I could get through.

before we had to move on to another one. A candle flame can be seen from 15 to 30 miles away on a dark night. That's crazy. Big candle though. Not like a birthday candle. I mean,

Yeah, but you can't. You can't have no up and down. You can't have no, like, hills. Yeah. And then. Yeah, there can't be a tree in the way. Well, all this matters. And then you get no wind. And your eyes can't be closed. Yeah. Yeah, if someone goes, I know, but if someone goes, I lit a candle, you'll find me. And you go, you're going to tell me there was a, you lived in the back of a cul-de-sac.

But look at this, Nate. You were right. A more recent experiment found that a candle would appear as bright as a magnitude 9.98 star at a distance of 10 miles and as bright as a star visible to the naked eye at a distance of 1.6 miles. I know so much, man. I just, you know, I know more than they know. I agree. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Now, there are five main senses, but there are at least two more lesser senses. Oh, what are those? Now, of course, you say six sense. Six sense. And the gut? Yeah, that's often, if you had a six sense, it would be intuition, right? Right.

Yeah, like when you're- Or you can see dead people. Where you just feel like somebody's watching you. Yeah. That's the sixth sense. Yeah, that's what people say. But it's actually Vespular. Oh, what is that? I was impressed. That's balance, where you can- Hey, stand upright. Keep your body balanced. Yeah. And proprioception. Proprioception.

which is body awareness. And the example they gave is the ability to touch your nose without seeing it. You can't see your nose. Yeah, but you know where it is. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's a... Oh, I got really good at that. That's a sense. Ew, you can even do it with your eyes closed. Well, that first one. Vespular. Yeah. Sense involves movement and balance. Isn't balance just your ears? They say there's crystals in your ears.

When I had vertigo, I went to the doctor, and that's what they say. There's crystals in your ears that keep you balanced. Did they put some back in? They didn't. No one's ever showed me these crystals, but I am told that... Loop-shaped canals in your inner ear. Fluid and fine hair-like sensors that keep you balanced. Yeah, same thing. Nothing about crystals, huh? Yeah, but I mean, yeah, potato crystal. So if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Yeah. No, the answer's no. Really? Why? Because you have to have eardrum. You have to have sound comes from the vibration in your ear. So if there was no one there to hear it, there'd be no sound. But it's kind of a catch 22. Yeah. Yeah. So the sound, but I mean, it doesn't even really fall. Yeah. The real question, but it doesn't make noise.

The noise doesn't exist? I mean, noise technically comes from the vibration in your ear. But it comes from the something. Yeah. But it has to be transmitted through the air in some way. That's why there's no sound in space. What is a tree? That's a great question. Yeah. What is tree-ness? Yeah. Yeah. What does it mean to be a tree? We should have done a philosophy episode with Dusty. We could probably do it again. We'll do a philosophy part two. Yeah. I'd like to hear your thoughts on some of this. Yeah. I'd like to get into it. What is a tree? What is a tree?

Human eyes can detect 10 million different colors. Just absurd. That's crazy. I don't think there's that many different colors. We're looking at eight. It's not just the wavelengths of the light rays. Eight.

It's the context in which we perceive things such as background color, lighting. It really is just three colors, right? And then the others are like mixing of the colors. I think I have a... Why do they always put numbers on everything? Just say they can see a crazy amount of stuff. They always throw a number on it. And then you go like, what are you... They like to go millions too. Yeah.

And then it's just, I think I just want them to go like, is it millions they go? We're trying to say it looks more professional than going, you can see whatever you want. A bucket load. Yeah. You can see whatever you want. You can see whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it sounds better to go like, there's a million this. And you're like, is there? You go, no one knows. I mean, how would anyone on Earth could tell if there was a million, 10 million different colors? That doesn't even make sense. This is Nate outside. We get just eight colors. That's what I see. It's all the same.

Plus he's colorblind, so he can't even see all that. Yeah, he only got seven. It's the wine dark water out there. The red eye in photos is due to blood vessels in the eye. They illuminate the blood vessels, the flash, and that's what makes it show up. I was thinking about that recently. Red eye is pretty much gone. We don't even think about red eye anymore, do we? No. With the digital photography. I can't remember the last time I've seen a red eye photo.

But it used to be, when you get pictures developed, they're all red-eyed. And not taken well. Blurry. And a lot of space above the head, but you're down at the bottom of the picture. Nobody knew what they were doing. We blink between 20,000 and 30,000 times every day. I bet I blink more. I'm a blinker. Yeah? Yeah, I really blink a lot. You're probably 40,000, 50,000? Yeah. You think more than 30,000 times a day? If that's the average, I think so. You should count some day.

Just do it. A day here at home. When I think about it, I blink more, though. That's 1,250 times an hour. When people take pictures of me, there's a lot of closed-eye photos. It's one every three seconds. You think you blink every three seconds?

Yeah, but he's got a few rapid ones, and then it's a stall for five seconds, and then it's back to rapid. And maybe that's it. I got an irregular eye blink. Yeah, maybe because he holds it for a second, then one gets going. Yeah. I got dry eyes. An eye doctor told me I had maybe chronic dry eyes. He's trying to sell me eye drops. Do you think Helen Keller was real? No.

I don't know. You know, for a long time I did, but I have tapped into the conspiracy lately that maybe she's not real. I've been seeing more about it. Because, yeah, you got this whole lady, what is it, that was her... The helper? Yeah. It's like, you know, Helen Keller's like writing all these books, and it's like, again, I'm not criticizing people that are blind or deaf, but it's like, what are you really writing about if you're blind and deaf?

So what are they saying? Like this lady just wrote a book that is a fictional character as Helen Keller? Yeah. I mean, I think she wrote about, I don't even know, but probably her experiences overcoming. Out of Helen Keller, narwhals, and outer space, which one's most likely to be real? Helen Keller. Okay. Without a doubt. All in on which foods are good for your eye health? Carrots. Blueberries. Beets.

Cooked carrots. I'm sure those are good for you. I always heard carrots. Made of carotene. Good for you. Apple. Oily fish. Okay. And green vegetables. Oh, I take a fish oil, and I'm the only guy in here with glasses, so. Yep. Add LASIK. Okay. Most people will need glasses by the time they reach 40. You don't have glasses? Contacts. Oh. Oh, so I'm the only one that doesn't. Do you take a lot of fish oil? Oh, yeah. I take good care of myself. Yeah. Yeah.

So that was one sense. That was vision. All right. So if you're into it, we could do another one. Maybe the episode could just be vision. Yeah, maybe it would be just senses. Yeah, we'll just make it vision. Senses part one, and we'll do five of them. We'll do seven. It could be like an album of the different senses. Release it as a five record. Yeah, like Led Zeppelin. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

So if you like that, you want to hear about hearing. Tune in next week when we knock it out of the park. So hearing. You can hear 10 million colors. There's a lady who can hear a mile away. We'll talk about synesthesia. We'll talk about that where you can hear colors. What is it? Synesthesia? Synesthesia. You hear colors. You get college a lot of money. That's what they give you.

That's what they send you home with. I'm glad it breaks to the table. You got to sit there with your family. I'm going to get a real job with this knowledge of hearing colors. Where are you going to get that job at? I'm going to get it. I'm smarter than everybody else. That's a great tease, though. I can't wait to hear about it. All right. We'll get into it. Next week. Maybe not next week, but we'll see. First week, Nate's not here. Yeah.

All right. I think I'm home this week. Actually, I think I'm going to fully commit. I think I'm going to come to your show. I think if I can do a spot on your show. It's full. Maybe next month. All right. This Wednesday is your... Yeah. Tonight. Tonight. If you're listening to this, tonight, Brian Bates and Friends. It's going to be a hot show. Yeah. From what I hear. Yeah. Yeah. I got Fargo, Moline...

Minnesota State Fair. That might be it. And then Foxwoods and a couple other casinos. But basically, I'm basically done besides these last little bit. Awesome. But Wednesday, go to Brian Bates and Friends. Thank you. Brian's not going to be there. I'll be hosting. Well, besides that, I'm at... Is Brian Bates and Friends, am I the first person booked on it? Because the people show up and they go...

Where's everybody? Where's your friends at? He goes, well, it's the show. I don't have any. Mike James told me. He goes, you guys are my friends. Yeah. The audience is like, oh, man, they feel so much pressure. Gotcha. And then he just sits down on the stool and talks. What do you want to talk about? Let's all exchange numbers. And they were just like, I don't know. There you go. Doors are locked for an hour and a half. Yeah.

Mike James told me I should do Brian Bates and Black Friends so he could be on the show every month. Thought that was very funny. August 24th, I'm at Vision Studios in Atlanta. Speaking of Vision. Yeah, perfect. Oh, look at that. That's why he picked this topic. You're the best. And The Sixth Sense came out 25 years ago this month. Wow. Great movie. August 29th through 31st, I am at St. Charles Funny Bone.

All right. In Missouri. Real deal. Yep. Tonight, I'm at the Stardome. Aaron Weber speaking. Aaron Weber, yeah, I should say. I'm in Alabama this weekend. Tonight and tomorrow at the Stardome. Thursday, Stardome sold out. All right. Pretty great. Big time. Sold out. It's a big club. Yeah, so that'll be really cool. Then Huntsville this weekend. And then I want to announce very quickly, the shows for the special taping here in September in this very building we're sitting in right now are...

Three of them are sold out. One of them is about to be sold out. All right. We're adding a show that Thursday, September 5th. So if you couldn't get tickets to any of those, I'm going to be Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. All right. Here in Nashville, September 5th through the 7th. Big time. Thank you all. It's the night of NFL kickoff, so I will not be here. But have a good show. Are the Titans playing?

Not on Thursday night. I am going to be at the Houston Improv all weekend. I got five shows there. I think one is already sold out and some of the others are closed. So get some tickets. The Houston Improv is a hot club. And I'm going to be in there rocking it out. You don't get tickets now, Houston. You'll have a problem. Yeah, that's right. You will have a problem. And bring your, if you're up in front row, bring your cans of dip and I'll pack them on stage. Yeah.

Yeah, bring all your stuff. All your belongings. Yeah. That's some groceries. Would you repack groceries for people? Yeah. You're going, what are you doing? Well, you know, I never worked at a grocery store. I couldn't get a job there. Did you vape? I never vaped. Okay. Bring in some Ikea furniture. Dusty will build it for you on stage. Yeah, I only did cool tobacco. I never vaped. All right. You would have if that were around back then. Yeah. Yeah.

Your high school photo would say different. He looks like the guy who invented baby. Yeah. All right. We love you. We will see you next week. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.