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Already fun. Already been pretty fun. It has been. Yeah. That should be the way they say it. Yeah, yeah. Rocket money. Hello, folks. Hey, Bear. Welcome to the 8Land Podcast. I'm Nate Borghese. Brian Bates. Aaron Weber. Dusty Slay. All right. Yeah. We're bringing the Pauls back. Yeah, I like that. I like bringing the Pauls back. Yeah.

Welcome. Hope you had a wonderful Memorial weekend. We were recording this before Memorial. We'll all be off that week, so we went in. This is a pre-record. First time in a while we've done this. Yeah. Yeah. It's an energy that I haven't had in a while. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's good if we, you know, I don't think we've had that many backed up.

Podcast right We used to do it quite a bit I feel like Uh

Not an insane amount, though. I mean, out of 200 episodes, I mean, it can't be. Yeah, maybe 100 of them were. No. I'm just kidding. I was like. When we first started and everybody wasn't so busy, we'd always have a backup ready in case something happened. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bottle episode. Yeah, we would. Oh, is it? Yeah. I think so. A bottle in a TV show? A bottle episode? Where it doesn't advance the narrative of the whole season, but you can just throw it in at any time. Oh, yeah. Why is that a bottle?

I don't know why they call it a bottle episode. Because it lives in its own bottle. Yeah, like a little ship. Yeah, it's just its own. You can put it in anywhere. I always called it evergreen, meaning it could live at any time. That's great. Who do you think is the most evergreen of us that could have lived at any time? I mean...

That's interesting because Dusty doesn't feel like he's from the current time. So you think that would be the answer. Yeah. Really? And I don't know if he can really live in the time that we're in right now. That's true. He's having a hard time. That is true. It remains to be seen. That is true. And also depending on what kind of jobs are available at different times. That's true. Brian, you've seen the most times. What do you think out of the four of us? You've lived through...

Yeah, I think I have to remove myself just out of fairness, right? Yeah, because you've lived through the most. I mean, I kind of proved I did it. You have talked to someone that was in the Depression. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Plenty of people. Yeah. That's not even. Who's the person that's still alive today that seems like they're from such a background? I'm talking about like a famous person.

I have someone in mind. Does it feel like they're from this era? Just being like, that person's still alive. It seems like they're just from another era. Yeah, it'd be like if Andy Griffith was still alive right now or something. Jack Nicholson, he feels like. Gene Hackman. Yeah, is Gene Hackman still alive? Yeah. Yeah, Gene Hackman. Yeah, a photo of him surfaced recently. Did you see that? Yeah. The gas station, didn't he look like it? No, I'm always pushing the Gene Hackman thing.

You don't have a video where I met Gene Hackman. It's always right. Anytime you get an opportunity to mention Gene Hackman, I'm going to throw it in there. Yeah. We were just talking this weekend. A bunch of the people from the Manson murders are still around. That's kind of surprising. Even the fact that Charles Manson himself is still around.

He died recently. Did he die? He died in 2017. Rest his soul. I didn't know he was. Man, it was. He died in 2017? Yeah. Yeah. Well, who's your, do you want to say? Maybe I knew it back then. Here's one. He just had a birthday. Willie Mays. Yes. Willie Mays seems like. Oh my gosh, I didn't know he was still around. Such a bygone era of baseball. Right. The fact he's still alive. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Hank Aaron died recently too. Well, it's like Willie Mays definitely like Nolan Ryan is always just been in baseball. So it feels like he's cause he was always, yeah, he played until the nineties.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. But he's always been a... Like, doesn't he run the Rangers or something? Yes, he's involved with the Rangers. He's around. He's around. I'm glad you brought up Nolan Ryan. I saw a video the other day about... People always talk about the GOAT. They're always saying, who's the greatest? And they'll... You know, Tom Brady, LeBron James, Michael Jordan. And this guy proposed that Nolan Ryan...

is the goat, right? Because he's like, when you talk about greatest of all time, he's like, you got to think about people's records that will never be broken. And apparently no one, Ryan has a lot of records that like, no one's even close to breaking where it's like Tom Brady has all these championships, but there's potential that Patrick Mahomes, who's already on his way can do it. Uh, you know, but they have, yeah, I could see that. I think it's, it's, uh,

I could argue against that. Yeah. Seven no hitters. Seven no hitters, but also has the most one hitters and the most two hitters. Well, the thing is, he's the greatest strikeout pitcher of all time. Right. There's no doubt. I mean. ERA's high. By far. Never won a Cy Young. Yeah. That's like never won. Which is crazy. Yeah. Why would that?

He always had a lot of losses. He has one of the most losses of any pitcher. Honestly, dude, he stunk. I don't even know what you're talking about. One of the worst pitchers of all time. I don't know all those things. He's the greatest power pitcher. But I just think he has, apparently, according to this guy, I wish I had the video, he just has records that will never be broken. That's true. It's just Tom Brady's records are championships and everything.

They're the highest. It's like Mike Trout is never going to be count. You know, if he played for the Yankees, maybe they consider him the greatest player of all time. But he was at the Angels. And so then you're like, yeah, talent-wise, you're like he's one of the greatest basketball players ever to play, talent-wise. But, you know, you need the whole package, I guess, to be –

Because Jordan, his name's on stuff, but he won't have records of everywhere. People play longer, like LeBron's played a lot longer than Jordan. And so that whole thing, or Kobe. But it was their phase they were in. I mean, because Gretzky, the thing with hockey is they're probably the most...

The definite greatest of all time in a sport could be hockey because Gretzky has records and his records are so far that they can't be broken. He's the most famous of hockey players. By far the most famous hockey player. That's probably the most. The only one you know. Yes. And that could be just because we don't know it. But I mean, even...

Even when we talk to Graham, Canadians will talk about Gretzky. But Gretzky is probably the only most definite greatest of all time

in their sport. Jordan would be right there too, but you're going to have people argue about LeBron. A stat, if you take away all of his goals, he still leads in points all the time. Yes. Just based off assists. It's that dominant. Whereas I think all of Michael Jordan's records have been broken. All his points records. But no one was no dominant. Like in Tigers like that, where Tiger had...

It's like he won't, you know, possibly, probably won't pass Nicholas for the most majors. But what he did in the reign that he did it in was just like so powerful and just like so dominant. Yeah.

And so there's fact, it's just different areas. You're like, yeah, you know, it's like, you just go like, yeah, there was Jack Nicklaus. And then you're like, well, then there's tiger. And so what happened to him? He hurt his back. And then suddenly it was just never, I know he had some other stuff, personal things, but, but like physically, is that what happened? His back, his back fusion was really bad. He had knee problems. Had to do a new swing. Right. Didn't he like completely changed the way he completely changed his swing at one point. And then, uh,

Yeah, just a lot of stuff. Injuries would be the, I mean, which would, I mean, his personal stuff also was, it came at times when it shouldn't have come. A real spoke in the wheel. What if the surgeon for his back was a real Jack Nicklaus fan? Yeah. And he was like, you know what, I was going over this. And he never did the one thing that he knew. Right. He's like, I don't want this guy to break the record. Yeah, yeah. Could be. Yeah. Yeah, he could be in that situation.

Yeah, Dylan Rod's a very specialized record. They'll never be broken. Like Ricky Henderson was still in basses. He's by far the greatest bass dealer of all time. Yeah, and that'll probably never be broken. Yeah. Yeah.

I think you're trying to be, cause it's not quantity over quality. Yeah. So it's like that kind of thing. Quality. You got to look at quality, you know, but it just depends. But it's like, this guy just wants to get people riled up. So yeah, probably so. And I, I wasn't riled up by it, but I was like, that's an interesting tank. Yeah. Yeah. Cause he's one you never hear mentioned. Yeah. Discussion. Yeah.

I thought I saved the video, but you know what? I save a lot of videos. You got some folders on your phone. You don't want to open up on the podcast. I think he has like 2000 more strikeouts than the next guy. Wow. That's good. Yeah. It's insane. Uh, but we were talking about that cause we watched the movie, the strangers, which is, uh,

scary horror movie. But the Tate, like all that Sharon Tate and all that we were just talking about, that's so insane. Because I just looked at it and it is and those people are still alive. Like with the Manson and a lot of them. Squeaky Fromm, Tex Watson. Yeah. Tex Watson was the guy. You know the weird thing, like Roman Polanski, right? Did some stuff, right? He's like a bad guy, right? And so they went to his house. Oh, yeah. And then he wasn't there.

Yeah. So like, imagine had he been there, they would have like saved whatever Roman Polanski was going to do later. They would have saved those victims. Oh man. Yeah. There could have been some silver lining. Yeah. Oh yeah. But instead he wasn't there. And then they went on a different path. There. Yeah. It's, it's crazy of your Roman Polanski.

To just like, you've been like, you've been mixing up with a lot of like, that's the thing where he's like, what I'm responsible for the murders. You're like, you're not, but it's crazy that you, they went to your house. You're like, it is crazy. You're around stuff. Yeah. That's like when people get in trouble where you go, I know you did not do this, but you're definitely around a lot of the things happening more than I've been. Yeah. Yeah. You go, cause let me introduce this guy. Yeah.

He's never had someone murdered in his life that he's known. Now you have been dabbling. Like every bad person has a connection because you've been around for so long. Like every, you know, like even the, the jinx, like that guy probably knew Roman put out. I'm saying probably. Yeah. I don't know for sure, but yeah, that is funny. Uh,

It's, uh, yeah. Yeah. Well, happy Memorial day. Happy. Yeah. I hope you had a good week. My show and hustle was great. Sold out. Sold it out. Standing ovation. When you walked out and not at the end of the show or vice versa or both went backwards. Would you rather get one at the beginning or the end?

The end, for sure. If you get one at the beginning and not the end, then you got to wonder what happened. Well, that's like, you almost don't want one at the beginning because that's a lot of pressure to do. Like, oh, geez. The beginning is, yeah. Yeah, the beginning is a respect. Seinfeld got one at the beginning in the Hollywood Bowl show because it's kind of like, yeah, man. Yeah, it's him. It's him. And so it's a, I think that one means, that's a very nice one. And then the end is, you know,

But the end is like, yeah, it went, you know. You delivered. You delivered. Yeah. You delivered. I don't know if people know what to do. But it's nice. It does mean a lot when they stand up. Yeah, it's very nice. Because they don't always, not everybody always stands up. You think it's like, oh, just at some point, they just do it everywhere. But.

A lot of times it's comics with a lot of high energy. Like there's a comic named John Morgan, the Raging Cajun. Oh, love it. And he has a lot of energy and he was getting standing ovations like every show.

And I'm not saying he's not good. He is good, but he's like, he works it like he's sweating. And at the end of it, there's a recognition of like, oh, you just gave us a package show. That's the end of it. He bows and it kind of makes sense to stand. Yeah. Yeah. Is that what you're saying?

I didn't know that about the bow and that, but yeah, I just think it's, he's got a lot of energy and he really works it. So people are like, yeah, we just saw this guy really work it up there. Is he dirty? Yeah. He's not like a old school dirty. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he heckled me like 20 years ago when I was in the audience. Oh yeah. Yeah. Was it a Cajun accent? Did I tell you that story? No, I don't think so.

I think so. Yeah. Yeah. What happened? I was just there with my date at Zaney's and not even sitting up close, sitting in the back. And he, does he do some crowd work? Probably. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just, you know, he was talking about something kind of dirty and then he picked me. I was like, what about you, sir? Do you do this particular thing? And I'm just there. And I, you know, I was like, no. You got a first date?

No, but you know last day And then uh, you know, I don't care what I said I was so many kind of made fun of me and then later in the show he came back to me for something else and He's like do you do this and he's like, oh come on, man. You gotta do that, you know, whatever I was so humiliated. He just gotta start saying yeah Yeah, I do that. Yeah this morning. Yes. I was so embarrassed. Yeah do

Did you already want to start comedy when you went? No, I didn't even. You thought, I'm going to start and I'm going to get that guy back. Yeah. If I ever work with him, I'll tell him the story. When you started, were you doing the type of comedy you are now or did you come out of the gates? It's fun to think about. You had an era where you were just like crazy on stage. Bad boy days. He had a leather jacket. I tried to be even more low energy when I first started, like Stephen Wright-ish almost. Okay. Yeah.

But I was always clean. Yeah. Yeah. But no. But no, that was long before I ever even considered doing comedy. You just liked comedy. We would just occasionally... I was dating this girl. We'd occasionally go to... You know, we'd go to Zany's. It was when you didn't even know who the comics were. You just go to see them. I don't think I've ever asked you, what made you want to do comedy? I know it's like a basic question, but... I just took...

I don't know. People told me I was funny. And then finally, at age 35, I took Rick Roberts' stand-up comedy classes for fun and thought it would be a four-week thing. And then started going to open mics. And one thing led to the other and just kept going. No great story.

That's a good story. I was three years older than Aaron is now. When he started. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I've ever realized that. Yeah. All right, we'll start. You know, I did see, who is it? I don't know why, I'm sorry, I can't think of her name. Leanne Morgan's friend. Karen Mills. Karen Mills. Yeah.

I was watching a Karen Mills video and it was a pretty old video and they cut to the audience and I saw Brian. Yeah. Like a young Brian. Just like it was like a fan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 1986. Were you? No, it's pretty old though. It was maybe not that old, but it was pretty old. No, it was, it was,

It was that Henry Cho. He would have been 15 at the time. Yeah. It was like 2010. Yeah. Okay. I mean, the video quality made it look a little older, but yeah, it was pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. All right. So Amber Markham. Markham.

Sadly, my son passed away in January. It's heartbreaking. He was only 24 years old. I have an hour commute to work every day, and I don't think I could have done it these last few months without this podcast.

My son and I had the pleasure of seeing the band at Bridgestone last year, and I am so grateful for that memory with him and for all of you. Your sincere love of stand-up, your fans, each other, and life in general has made life bearable, and you are truly the highlight of my week. That is very sweet, Amber. Sorry about that. And yeah, we are with you, and we are proud to be with you. It's very, very nice.

A lot of pressure on this episode, huh? Yeah. Big Amber, did you and your son talk about why Dusty didn't move on the stage? Because he didn't really. He thought it turned on its own. Get his back to him the whole time. Yeah. Abigail.

I've heard Nate say that it's fun to find a new comic and watch their career develop through the years. For me, Aaron is that comic. I saw him open at John Chris show in Waco, Texas around 2019. I remember thinking he was good. I started watching Nate land around episode three because at that time, Aaron was the only comic I recognized. Ooh. Look at me bringing people to the table. Yeah.

I've since come to appreciate the comedy of Nate, Brian, and Dusty, but it's been special to see how Aaron's career has developed since the, that Waco show. There you go. 2019 feels like a lifetime ago. Yeah. Abigail, you should go back and watch a video that I have called, uh, uh,

Talk about being at the Upper Peninsula because that's Aaron probably in 2017, maybe even 16. So that's a fun one if you want to go back and there's a whole. Yeah, there's a clip from my set. I'm up there bombing at that casino. I think you put a clip of this in that video. Yeah. Bombing. Yeah. Not not even like no reaction.

And a dude just walks in. Do you remember this? Yeah. A dude just walks in. He goes, yeah. And I go, all right. I mean, I can't get them to like boo me. They don't care that we both bombed that show. Yeah. You did a little better, but thank you. Well, thank you, Abigail. Is that Nate? That's your sister. Yeah. Emma Spradlin. Spradlin.

I am a pastor of a small church and still get nervous every week before I preach. I'm thinking over scripture announcements and making sure I give it my all. It seems to never fail that when there is a problem, the congregation brings it to me five minutes before service. It drives me crazy. Now I have that to worry about on top of everything else. My question is, do people do this to you before you go on stage? Do you have a rule against people bringing you problems before you go on?

I've gotten better with that where we would kind of shut our backstage down just to be people on the show. So there would be no problems being brought because it's just the ones that the guys that have been on the show and been hanging out all weekend. Like you just kind of want to see your crew. You don't want to,

you don't have to answer any questions or worry about anything yeah but i mean i've had plenty you know i mean i've had laura call me and we're being a fight and i'm like i'm about to go on stage and then you're you know then you got to go on stage and you're just and i mean sometimes i've said what we i just said i was just gonna fight with her here's what we took like you just in the moment you're just like got to get it off your chest but

Yeah, it definitely did happen. I'll get some now screen time requests right before I hit the stage from Harper. But yeah, I think I'm learning more is...

for what you're doing up there because it seems like, well, you're just talking, you're just thinking about, but if you are, like when I go on stages, I want it to be, it's an act. So I like it being, you know, we had a thing this weekend where the light, the lights kind of messed up or last weekend.

The lights messed up. I realized when I'm up there, it's a rhythm. There's a bit of a sing-songy thing to it where your rhythm is going. When something like that happens, it really takes you out of the moment.

And then you're like, well, now I got to restart. And I mean, not necessarily that I think, I don't know if people notice it, but in my head, it's frustrating because then you're like, I was, you know, you kind of mind, I like to, it builds up, you know, it's like you start here, then you just kind of keep climbing up. And so you just want to be in that in rhythm. And so you're trying to stay in it. And so, but I think there is definitely something to be said that, yeah, just, you know, at a,

I'm sure she probably thinks I have to go meet everybody at the thing. You know, it's like, well, just don't do that. Yeah. You know, just be like, I'm going to go back. And cause I, you, you're doing it for the right reasons. You're doing it because you want the message that you're sending out to be like, I'm trying to give you the best. I'm not trying to at this, at just at that current moment. And then if that gets broken, then you just, then it gets broken that day.

And you, you, whatever it doesn't mean it's not none of their people's fault, but you know, it's like, yeah, when they're, I think a lot, you know, a lot of past actually very welcoming people and maybe, you know, you're like, Hey, I have someone else welcome them and I need to go back and just kind of get my head right. Cause you really do.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Bringing people problems five months. It's like, yeah, just take it easy. Just talk to me about this. I don't think people think of it as like a show for pastors. Yeah. Like they, I mean, and comedy can be that same way where sometimes people think, people think comedy is easy because a lot of comics make it look very easy. Yeah. We were kind of just talking about this, like, but it's like a lot of people think like, oh, I can do comedy because everybody's funny. Yeah.

And, but it's, you know, it's a, it's a lot of work to get into. It's a, it's a true performance. And like when I'm out, when I go out there, it's like, that's what I love about it is I love like to be like, let me just do my, I'm going to, you know, it's, it's like I get to be on stage and like be a, you're kind of this,

character not that you're a character I'm telling true stories but I'm telling them in like just a perfect way to you know kind of bring you in this journey and it's like just let it let that go you know and that's what's fun that's the art of it yeah

Yeah, you're like a character of yourself. Yeah. You know, where, you know, it's like you're having a conversation, but there's no one to talk to you. And if they do, you're like, get them out of here. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I think, yeah, she's Emma. I would I would do. Yeah. Do that. Just try to as nice as you can. Just be like duck out. I like to not even make it a big thing. You know, you don't tell anybody. You just kind of like I'm going to go.

Just go be quiet for a second. Go pray. Go figure it out. You could do this. Do you go, you think this is what Jesus wants right now? You're going to come back here and tell me this right now? You think that's what he wants? Yeah. Hey, this is Easter. I think we're talking about some pretty big things this week. But I'm sure the parking lot frustration. You should just say that. Did they come up with a problem? No.

Then to all of them, she goes, well, Jesus did die for all of our sins. So I'm sure you'll figure it out. You can go that way. That's another way to go. She's a completely different pastor.

Jason Feller. I've just had a couple. Wait, didn't we just have a Feller? Yeah, we did have a Feller. We had a Tommy Feller. Tommy Feller. Oh, there's Jason Feller. Jason Feller. The Feller family. What? The Feller family is. A couple of Fellers up in the country. Look at this. I mean, they have to be, right? How many Fellers are there? How many Fellers are there? Bob Feller. Bob Feller, the pitcher. Yeah. Oh, there was a Bob Feller? Yeah, one of the greatest pitchers of all time. That might be their dad. Yeah.

Could be. I bet if he's one of the best pitchers of all time, he got a lot of kids. They might not even know it. Well, I mean, you know, he's probably better than Nolan Ryan. Yeah. Is he? Yeah. I don't think so.

I never heard of him. But he played in like the 20s and 30s, I think. So these would be his grandkids. He had no real competition. Wow. It was just him and a couple other guys. I think he was playing against Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig and all those guys. And I know their names. Was he even before that? No, I think he was later. I think he was like the 40s, right? 40s and 50s? I mean, I know Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. When all the men went to war? Yeah. Yeah.

Bob Feller's out there going. He was the one guy pitching against the women that played baseball. That's why his last name is Feller. He was the one guy. 36 through 56. He played, yeah, through the 40s. Yeah. 30s and 40s and 50s. For who do you play for? The Tigers. Tigers, okay. And the Cleveland Indians. Never mind. The Indians. Yeah, so does that. Now the Guardians. Yeah.

prodigy who by the way has been oh wow he's a prodigy so this could be his grandkids yeah he skipped the minor leagues he was so good he made his debut in the majors at the age of 17 and then he went to fight in World War II I'm just trying to make a joke this guy's a true hero yeah he shares a family in here be careful he shares a birthday with me and he was on the USS Alabama look at that his your same birthday yeah

He's a couple years younger. He was ranked 36th in the 100 greatest baseball players of all time. Wow. Who was number one on that list? Babe Ruth, probably. And he's named the greatest pitcher of all time. Of his time. Of his time. Yeah, that's a big difference. That's like a huge... Yeah. Sorry. Notre Dame. Notre Dame.

Jason Feller, I've just had a couple of experiences recently where I felt like I'm paying to watch someone practice for their special instead of getting the best they have to offer. I know Nate has mentioned trying things out at Zany's on weeknights. That makes sense to me. Is that common practice for arena slash theater comedians? Just wondering if this is something comedians at his level discuss. I hope he's not talking about my show. He goes, I think you're always...

I think everybody's had it. I think you're an experience. Yeah. But it's a good experience. Yeah, I think so. But I think when they leave, they go, that was an experience. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's, they should not, they should not be doing it at a theater, art arena. Absolutely. Absolutely.

If they're at that level where they can sell out an arena or theaters, it should not be like I'm trying stuff. I mean, maybe if they're just only arenas, like Kevin Hart does arenas and his warm-up stuff will be in theaters, maybe that scenario is okay because it's like his level where you would see him is this arena level, so maybe he wouldn't go back to it. But even him, he goes to clubs.

And they are like most of the comics you go to clubs is like, you know, working it out and you're just up there. But you said, I mean, overall, you want to still be doing to try to do a good show. It's like, you know, you know, I never go up there and, you know, I mean, if I pop in Zany's, it's like I might, you know, just I'll be looking at my phone and just but I'll be trying to tell some stuff, but I'll still do.

You're still going to end on a – I noticed you will end on a good joke. You'll make sure like – Yes. You don't leave with a like – What was that? Yeah, yeah. I'm still doing a show. Yeah. It's like I'm on stage. You may have really fell off. Yeah. I mean, I don't even want to ever feel comfortable not getting laughs on stage. Like so even when I go – before I say a joke, it's –

Rarely am I saying something that like it's, you know, I'm like, I have no idea if this will do good or not. I usually have a pretty sense. I have a direction. So, yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, but it's definitely. But I think it does happen, though, what he's saying to me, because people talk about, I've heard people say they saw this comic right after their special came out and they were like.

They just said it just was like really like all new stuff and not very good. And, and I, you know, and maybe, maybe the comic they were talking about, it's just not very good. Look, comedy is still very new. And so it's still going to this, you know, it's like, I'm like this, this is the first like time I'm taking time off.

before the next tour in 25, uh, to really go get an act and like build it. And I've never really done that. I've always kind of been just kind of, you kind of keep touring and just kind of keep going. Uh, because it's no one in comedy is just done kind of, it's just, I don't know. It's like, there hasn't been tons and tons of comedians doing much big tours or it's just, so there's no exact system. There's not a farm like music. There's a,

pretty exact system because so many people have done it where you're like at this level, then this level, then you get to that. There's like somewhat, and then your whole main goal is to sell out stadiums. But with comedy, there's not that many people that are trying to just be a professional stand-up comedian and that's the end of it. Usually, it was always like do comedy, then you're trying to get something else. So then you can go back to comedy and sell tickets.

But now there's, you know, there's a few more that are just going through straight up stand up comedy. So then there can be maybe an experience. But that so, you know, it's it's yeah, it's they shouldn't be doing it in an arena. I don't even know how you could do it. That's arenas. You can't.

I mean, I've tried a new Joker in an arena and it just doesn't. If you have no confidence in it, you have no chance. I did it all this weekend. Yeah. I walked out there. So what do y'all want to talk about? Yeah. Let's get into it. And he murdered. Yeah. He goes, name something.

Yeah, throw out a couple topics. Balloons. Yeah. 45 minutes on balloons. You're supposed to do eight minutes. Yeah. Nate's lighting me from the side of the stage. Get off, dude. And they're going, no, more, more. Before the show, yeah. Everybody, reach under your chairs. Everybody had balloons. Oh, yeah. Oh, he did it. I don't know. How do you know? You know, it was crazy. That's what he does. But yeah, I think that an arena, I don't even, you couldn't even,

I can see someone trying it. I definitely can see that happening. But you're there if you're an arena, dude, it's arenas. It's it's so many people. It's a lot like that's mean like you have to have your act honed in and it has to be completely theater in the exact same situation. It's a lot of people.

You know, theaters can be 1,000 seats where they can, you know, if you've done big places, maybe it's, you know, you know, I'm doing a lot of arenas. So if I go to a 1,000 seat theater, it's like, it would feel like I'm not really in those rooms anymore. Secret show. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but it's not, uh, yeah, you, yeah, you, but you should always try to tell, always try to do good. That's a good ad. You think is, uh, he's good. You got it. You already got your towel picked up for this summer. Yeah.

Your day-to-day towel? I have started bringing a sweat towel with me to clubs because when I go, I go to the bar and I go, can you get me a towel? And they give me like some dish rag that just looks gross. And I go...

I feel a little more dignified if I got a black... You bring it. Yeah, I almost go like pretend I'm like a black comic. Give me what you would give them. Put that in your rider. You got to put that in your rider that you want a black towel. You should bring... You have towels. I've got some. And people have actually brought me sweat towels. Fans of this podcast. Get some Weber towels. Aaron Weber towels. Sell those. Sell those? Some Weber towels? Some Weber towels. Used ones. Yeah. Yeah.

Dude, like Elvis, when Elvis pulled his scarf off. Yeah. I take my sweat towel, throw it into the crowd at the end of the show. You should have a bunch of them. Good night. You just see what your dad do. One dab, you toss it. Every time I use it, throw it in the crowd.

Like guitar picks. After the show, the servers are bringing you the towels from off the floor. No one took these. Good, I need them back. Actually, some people left. Someone gets hit by a towel that was leaving the bathtub. It's so wet. It's like a weight blanket. You see their nose through the imprint. That's how wet it is.

And then he's just like, what happened to that? He goes, that was a new joke. I got, you know, I was nervous for that one. Got in a splash, though. Yeah. Grace Mogford. Mogford.

At the beginning of the... Yeah, Grace Mogford. Grace is such a graceful name, and that last name just kind of comes at you. That's got to be a married name. She married into that. Yeah, I agree. Old Grace Mogford. And you know she had friends going, you really going to take his name? Yeah. She goes, nah, but I love him, though. I'll become Mrs. Mogford. Mogford, yeah. At the beginning of the podcast, Nate said he wrote a song with Walker Hayes.

Is there a plan for it to be released? Uh, no, there's not. I mean, there's no plan. Mark. He blew up. Yeah. You know, he was not that he was nobody, but he was smaller than he is now when you did this, right? This feels like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is before the fancy song that was everywhere. Yeah. Then the app, yeah, the fancy, and he's got another one. Uh,

out now yeah i mean walker's doing great wonderful guy yeah i have no plan i'll i'll we'll figure it out though i'll be i say before the end you know we'll do this we're having play you recorded something right yeah he sang it i did not sing but you wrote the lyrics we me and him wrote the lyrics you were in the room when he wrote the lyrics no we wrote okay there's a line was this a sad song

Like a love song? He didn't listen to the words. A little more sad. You know, it's like it's a, you know, like a to your partner song. Oh. You know. Yeah. Husband to, kind of husband to wife song. Yeah. But it's a sad song. It's a yell song. No, it's like a frustrated that you have to get married. He's yelling. Oh, yeah. Walker's a trick shot artist now. Oh, really? Isn't that?

His Instagram is just him doing him and his family doing trick shots. Yeah. He's got a bunch of kids. Yeah. Yeah. He's great.

He's doing great too. Anita Sunday. Sundi. Anita Sunday. Sunda. I always assume Anita is a fake name because it's always used in like Anita hamburger or something. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Anita Sunda. Anita Sunday. That would be the joke. But all the way from where? Trento, Italy, which is the New Jersey of Italy. Trenton. That's what it made me think of.

Trento, Italy. Oh, Italian. We're Italian. I just want to say that I listen to a lot of podcasts and always skip the adverts. I guess I'll find out what that means later in this comment. The Nightland Podcast is the only one where I actually enjoy listening to the ad reading, so it's ads. Yeah, advertisement. Advertisement. Yeah.

Especially when one of you messes up, we can hear the others giggling in the background. I also agree that Aaron is a superb ad reader. Yes, ma'am. Has he considered professionally ad reading? Good way to make some extra money. He knows he could need it. And his comedy is not that good. I was going to say. This really took a turn. It's really nice. I'm really having a go at comedy at the moment. Yeah.

She did not say that. I know. I made, I added that. Abigail would think if you started to develop your ad reading. A professional ad reader. Yeah. I would do it. You could be like the micromachine man. Who's that? They got to talk real fast. Oh, at the end of radio commercials? No, there's a micromachine. He's the advertiser for micromachines. Yeah, I thought we talked about it on this episode. Yeah. I don't really listen when we're talking. Yeah. He just talked real fast. Okay. Uh,

Cynthia Smith, we had a minor flood in our upstairs bathroom that is fast becoming a major restoration project. Yesterday, a company was here tearing up all the damaged floors, and I walked upstairs to check on the progress. Much to my surprise, I found a worker asleep on my bed. How do I mention what I saw to the boss, man? How would you all handle this situation? You know what?

I could see myself not saying anything, but then it's the thing that I would say, you got to go just do it immediately.

That's like one of those you can do. You go, what are you doing, dude? You know, you just, if you would have think about it when you go to sleep, you go, Hey, wake up and go, are you insane? Why are you sleeping in my bed? You walk out and then you walk away and you make it, you don't have to make a scene. So then you feel comfortable. It's just being like, and if he comes, you go, well, what is, that's the honest reaction. Anybody on the play or go get one of the guys with him and go, can you wake your friend up? Yeah. I think your boy's asleep. She's going to go to his boss. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And I think you, yeah, you go to him, you go, hey, he fell asleep. Yeah, you just say it. Yeah, and then the boss just switches him to a different job. He's like, he's the only guy I can find to do the work. So I'm not firing him. I'll just switch him to a different job. Yeah, that's, it's insane. You know, and I'm sure that's, look, I'm sure the upstairs bathroom, maybe that's in their bathroom or something. And, uh,

I bet it's hard not to sit down on the bed when you're, cause there's a little bit waiting. So it's, you know, it's a, it's a tough situation. Cause there's, if there, if you, if you're working on a room, you know, you know, and you're like, Hey, just hang there for a second. Let me tighten this. And as you tighten there and you're like, it's hard not to sit on that bed, but you should have their strength not to sit on it.

And then, yeah, I mean, to fall asleep is just on this guy's on another point. Then you think, well, dude, let me just close my eyes for like 10 seconds. Yeah. Right. And then, yeah. Then 30 minutes later, you wake up like, oh, yeah. I'll tell you what, that nap was probably unreal. Yeah. I mean, that's where you fall, where you're like, if you, you're a nap so out that, you know, you shouldn't be sleeping. Yeah. On this. I bet he woke up and was more productive than ever, though.

though. It's almost worth it to have him take a nap. Yeah, but it was his shoes off the bed. I mean, it's just a matter of just... In the bed is such an invasion. Let's be professional. Right, sleep on the floor like the rest of us. I'd say just send him this clip, Cynthia. We're handling it. I think we can handle it. Just give him a little tap. Go, hey, dude, can I get you a coffee? Yeah. Do that sort of thing. I need a coffee. Yeah. I need a coffee? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you met my friend Anita Coffee? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe say that. Yeah. It's...

Yeah. Put some shaving cream on his hand, tickle his nose. And then when he hits it, he goes, oh, you're sleeping in my house, dude. Put his hand in hot water. Yeah, you're supposed to be working and you're sleeping. What would you do in this situation? Because you should tell her you would... Dusty would fly off the house. I don't know. I think I... Yeah, I mean, I've never had people really in my house doing stuff like this. There you go. But I think if I... So what you're getting at, this is on Cynthia. Yeah. It's actually your fault, Cynthia. Yeah. Because...

What are you doing having people in your house? Because it'd be hard for me because when people are in my house, like I'm up on them. Like I'm around them the whole time. You stand there in the bathroom with them? Yeah. I mean, I'm like, you know, what's going on in here? You're in there while they're working. Yeah, it'd be tough for the guy to fall asleep on my bed. Yeah. Because I'd be like, whoa, what's going on here, bud? He would have to do it in front of you. Yeah. And then that guy's aggressive. Yeah.

A guy who looks you in the eyes and lays down in your bed and takes a nap. That's a guy. That's a guy that you might have to give him the keys to your home. Yeah. Because he might own your house. Yeah, I think you got to kick that guy out of the house. Oh, yeah. You got to go. You're out of here, dude. Yeah. You're out of here. Yeah. Why don't you head on...

You had probably a long day when you head on home. Yeah. You don't even have to be rude to him, but you got to go, hey, you got to wake up and you also got to leave. I don't want you out here. And then you call the boss and you go, the one guy fell asleep. I don't want that guy working on this anymore. The guy shouldn't have even been touching my bed, but he was also, he was asleep on it. Fell asleep in the bed. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. $20 broke ski. I'm a new viewer.

In episode five about sports, Mr. Weber said an adult should not wear MLB jerseys.

What happened between that episode and the eclipse one? Love the show. Wow. I don't remember saying that, but you know what? I, I matured. I mean, that's a difference of about three years. That is the opposite of maturing. What do you mean to go saying you shouldn't wear one to then wearing? I've matured in that. I'm more open-minded than I was originally. I think also what the reality of that is episode five, uh,

That Aaron could not fit in an MLB jersey. And I think to justify that, I go, you know what? Maybe nobody should wear them. If I can't do it, nobody should. I could see that. Also, if you're listening, Aaron's wearing a video game hat right now. So take that into account. What is the hat? They sent me this hat. MLB did? Yeah. MLB the show. It's a video game. Yeah, because I talked about it.

It's a good hat. Yeah, thanks, man. Yeah, so there you go. So he changed the skinnier. Yeah, we can all. We talked about this. We can all change. This weekend, you can evolve on stuff, right? You can have opinions about stuff. I was reading this little. We talked about a book, though. Did audio listen just for a little bit, and then I've stopped.

But yeah, his idea that you should, your opinion should always be changing. Yeah. So you should always like, if someone says, you gotta be growing right now, it's like this, but yeah, you could have politically, you could be like, I'm, I've been a bunch of different things always throughout because I,

it's like this reasons this and that reasons that. And you're just trying to learn, you know, so nothing should be so definite. Yeah. We don't have to be put in boxes. Yeah, exactly. It's hard not to do. And I was putting myself in a box. Yeah. You know,

Yeah, I feel like the baseball jersey is the most mature of all the jerseys to wear. It's buttoned up. It's buttoned. You can wear a shirt underneath it. It's almost like a shirt. The basketball jersey is the hardest one. I mean, you almost can't even do it. NFL jerseys are brutal, too. Would you wear a basketball jersey?

No. With a white t-shirt underneath it? I would never expose my shoulders. With a white t-shirt underneath? 30 episodes. Well, look, if somebody gave me a jersey with my name on it, I'd wear it. But I'm not wearing it. It doesn't even last one second. Isn't there a Weber basketball player? Chris Weber? Yeah, it spells it differently. But yeah, he's also a Michigan guy. That'd be tough. Yeah. I would wear a Michigan jersey.

But I would never wear it exposed. You do a show for Notre Dame, they give you a basketball jersey with your last name on it. Yeah, I put it on. And they say, you cannot wear a shirt or anything. I would say, what kind of show do you want this to be? Yeah. Why are you asking me to do this? Well, would you be like, well, how big is this? I would go, I'd like to see how big the jersey is. Because I don't think your shoulders and arms would look bad, but you just don't want people to see in the hole. Yeah.

On the side. That's my fear of wearing tank top. It comes in too much right there. Yeah, just like it stretches out a little bit. And then you just see, like if you just saw my chest and you're like, well, it looks like a bag is in there. I can't tell you the last time my shoulder saw daylight.

It's been a long time. Yeah, but you said you swim without. But wait, didn't we swim one day? Yeah, for like an hour. But I'm talking about just letting it slide. And that was a while ago. That was last July 4th. Yeah. That's probably the last time you think your shoulders have seen daylight. Wow. It's been a good year. I had my shirt off today in the yard.

You defended Morgan Wallen recently for his jersey thing. Well, you got to be careful throwing that sentence around. Who knows what he's going to do by the time this comes out next week? Do a chair off a roof. He took some heat because he wore a baseball jersey from another team. And I just said, listen, we're all adults here.

If you're playing in a team stadium and you sell it out and they give you a jersey with your name on it, maybe throw it on for a song. I don't think that's crazy. No, I agree with you. And you said you'd wear anybody's jersey except USC and somebody else. And Michigan was the other one. You would wear a Michigan State? Probably kind of funny at this point. I can't think Michigan State would ever give you a jersey. You may not be allowed to buy one.

Michigan State. I feel like you trashed Michigan State. Yeah, you trashed them a couple times. Oh, yeah, that's where Bob Feller went. Did they even go to college back then? No. They didn't have college back then. Straight to the majors. Yeah, so what do they mean? So he's a phenom that he just skipped. They're like, well, he had nowhere to go. He just played high school, I guess. High school straight to the pros. So he made his pro debut at 17, but he was playing baseball at 15. Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty crazy. Triple crown winner. Wow. He was a triple crown winner and he's a pitcher? Where does it say that? Triple crown. Maybe triple crown for baseball? Oh, yeah. That's crazy, dude. I know. But that's leading home runs, RBIs, and what is it? And something else. And batting average. As the pitcher. That's insane. Oh, the pitching triple crown. Oh. Which is leading in ERA wins and strikeouts. Okay.

I was going to say, I've never heard about him being a hitter. Yeah. Oh, wow. You've been in a lot of feller conversations? Yeah. Down at the Legion bar. He'd go down there. Down at the VFW. He'd go, well, they ain't ever brought up nothing about feller being an old batter. Yeah, it's too tough to get it in over all the pitching conversations. When you were talking about comedy and how things have changed, it made me think of two other people

celebrities that it's hard to imagine they're still alive because they're such a bygone era. Mel Brooks. Oh, he's still alive. Yeah. And Dick Van Dyke. Yeah, Dick Van Dyke. Dick Van Dyke feels crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But I think Mel Brooks doesn't feel as, because I think he's been doing stuff. Dick Van Dyke's been doing, you see him though more, you know. Yeah, he's still around, but it's come from different times. I mean, from Mary Poppins. Well, the Dick Van Dyke show was even before that, I think. That was black and white too. Yeah. Yeah.

That's pretty wild. Yeah. Anybody still alive that was a star of a black and white TV show seems pretty insane. Yeah. Ron Howard. But he wasn't. He was a kid. He was the star to me. Yeah. He wasn't the star, though.

John Wayne. When did John Wayne die? I think last week. Years and years ago. Did he see the 21st century? Clint Eastwood has been doing stuff the whole time, but it's wild that Clint Eastwood was the star of these really... 1979. 1979. You were just born. Yeah, I was just a few months old.

So I was alive. John Wayne could have held me as a baby. He could have. I'd be surprised if he crossed paths. Yeah, he was 71. But to think Clint Eastwood was a star of the good, the bad, and the ugly and still making movies. Yeah, and also in trouble with the curve. Clint Eastwood is exactly one. When was he born? To your point, he's still making movies, so he seems more relevant.

He is, but it's like 1930. 30. When you think about that, I did meet him. When was good and bad? The ugly out like 1960 or something. Yeah. See, that seems wild. Yeah. I mean, he was 14 or he was 11 when World War II started. Golly. I mean, what a wide range of movies he's had to. It's like he's, you know,

you know, like, like, uh, dirty, hairy, dirty, hairy, where he's like a cop. And then he's, uh, uh, any which way you can, where he's like a boxer. Yeah. Escape from Alcatraz where he's a prisoner. Yeah, exactly. I'm just reading Wikipedia. The mule where he's a mule. Yeah. Well, that escape from Alcatraz was a big, big movie.

He directed American Sniper, Unreal movie. I never saw Sully, but then Richard Jewell's a good one too. Sully? Sully? Sully? Sully? Sully? He said Sully like only. Sully. Sully. Sully? It's about Sully Sullenberg. It could not be more like it's spelled. Sully.

Am I not saying it? That's right. Sully. Sully. Sully. Oh, now we said it enough that maybe I'm wrong. Yeah. Sully. Sully. That's all you got to do is stick to your convictions. And then that other person starts going, I don't know. It was like Eric when we were playing our tennis ball baseball. And so he gets two fouls.

which is strikes. And then, then he misses and then, and then it's an out. And he was like, but the first two were fouls. You,

they're not counted as strikes. And you're like, no, they count as strikes. You can't strike out on a third one as a foul. But then he goes, no, I don't think. And enough that I go, am I? And then I was like, you know, like in my head, I'm like, dude, maybe I'm wrong. I've been watching the game. Yeah, I was like, maybe you're allowed to have fouls and they count as nothing. But he was wrong. Sully. Sully.

Sully. Sully. That's how she said it. What's his name? You see that movie Sully? Sully Sullenberg. Sully Sullenberg. I don't know what his real first name is. What was Sully? Is that the Tom Hanks movie? Yeah. Yeah, that's where they land the plane. Was Million Dollar Baby an overrated movie or what? Never saw it. I mean, I don't know anyone who likes it because it's so sad. Yeah. His name is Chesley, so I'd probably go by Sully as well. Sully Sullenberger.

I'll tell you, Chesley Sullenberger. Chesley's a tough name. Chesley? Yeah. Chesley Sullenberger. Chesley Burnett Sullenberger III. That sounds like a pilot, though. Were you still in New York when that happened? Yeah. Did you see it in the sky? No, but I saw it on the news. Wow. No, I didn't see it in the sky. That's incredible. But I did want to. It was like, I was like, oh, wait, I could go over and see.

Like you could go over there and see it in the water. And you get out and he's like, my name's Suli. Yeah. We love you, Suli. Yeah. That becomes the thing. Suli Sulenberger. They interview Nate on the news. Suli Sulenberger here. What does the top say? What? It says, in office.

Oh, he was in office? I guess that's when he... He was the permanent representative of the U.S. to the International Civil Aviation Organization. Oh, they brought him in. He was like our ambassador. That's pretty good. So once he landed one in the water, they're like, all right. You can represent us now. Yeah. And he goes, what do you feel? And he goes...

Landed in the river. That's a solution to everything. So they had to get rid of him because they were like, this guy always wants to put it in the Hudson. The AC's out on the front. Landed in the water. Bring it down. He's trying to get rid of runways and just do water landings on everything. He seems like the kind of guy that would tell you every story he'd go, well, when I landed in the Hudson, they would all start that way. Which I went to. Yeah, Joe List...

was at a bar or something and some a person came and sat down and then he they just started talking and goes where are you? He goes I was on that plane that landed in the Hudson River today. Wow. Yeah. Whoa. Just was sitting like they He believes them? I mean yeah they had luggage and it was wet.

That's not true. I'd say they need a drink. No, but yeah, it said, yeah. I mean, I think you could feel it. Yeah, I think you could tell if someone's, and I don't know if someone, if people are that quick to go,

to go get a free beer or something. My uncle is a Marine does not follow sports at all. There's nothing about sports. He's at a bar years ago. He's sitting down at the bar by himself. A guy sits down next to him and they just kind of nod at each other. Don't talk. They both drink a beer. Don't even talk to each other. The guy leaves.

So my uncle's sitting there. The bartender comes up and goes, oh, my God, how do you know him? He's like, who was it? It's Peyton Manning. Oh, really? At the bar. My uncle had no idea who he was. Wow. And the guy, as Peyton Manning was walking out, he said, he looked at my uncle and said, thanks, man. Yeah. Just to have a guy like not hound him. Oh, yeah. At the bar. Yeah. Could it have also not been Peyton Manning? Probably. Probably. But it's a good story if it is. It is a good story. Mm-hmm.

I sat next to a guy on the plane and, uh, he had, is an older guy and he had all his stuff on the little tray that we get to split. So I kind of just started sliding my cup in there, you know, like pushing his stuff over. Cause I'm like, this is our tray to split here. And then he goes, Oh, you got enough room? I'm like, well, not yet. And then, uh,

So it started off kind of irritated between us. And then he had this huge ring that had a star on it. And I was like, Oh, quite the ring you got there. And then he kind of, and I was like, okay. So we never talked the rest of the thing. And then when he got up, he had like a New York Mets thing on his bag. So I'm, I guess in this guy was some kind of New York Mets guy. And then when we got, uh,

No, no, no, no. Houston Astros with the star. It was Nolan Ryan. Yeah. And then I get off the plane. I get off before him. There's like all these state troopers and cops and different people waiting for somebody to get off. And I think, oh, it must be the guy that I was sitting next to. So I waited to see him to come out to see what they were going to do.

And then I stood there for a long time and then finally he came out and they were not waiting for him. They were waiting for like an old man that was in World War II, like a real veteran, old, real old man got off and they all kind of cheered for him. And I was like, okay, I don't know what this is about, but. Did you find out who the baseball player was? No. Was it a world series ring? I think so. It was a really big ring. Yeah. Yeah.

He was big, but he was old. He would have been a coach on the team or something. Was it a black guy? No, it was a white guy. Okay.

Well, he might have played. He just would be old now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe they won one back in the day. It doesn't mean yet. They just didn't. I don't think they did. They didn't invent rings. Who was the star? Well, the Astros. Astros, yeah. Yeah. Because he had that Astros thing on his back. So they've only won a ring in 2017 and 2022. So if you saw him with a World Series ring. What city were you flying to? Lafayette, Louisiana from Dallas. Okay.

I'll look into this. Yeah. Who's from Lafayette? Because maybe he's from there. Oh, yeah. Why would he be going to Lafayette? Yeah. Let's get to the bottom of this. I mean, it kind of. If he was at the show, he decided not. Sometimes they hand those rings out to like, you can be a trainer on the team or like work in the office. Was he in first class? He was in first class. Did he look like an athlete or more like a suit and tie kind of guy?

He looked like he could have been an athlete, but he could see at first I was thinking he must be a football player. And I thought it was like a Dallas Cowboys. Right. And so I was thinking maybe he was part of the team in the 90s. And then I used to work with this guy, Stu Barber, who played on the Bills way back. So I want to talk to him. And pesticide. Yeah. Stu was like, you know, retired from the NFL and just kind of.

doing this job. But I was like, nah, Stu's much older than this guy. I was thinking this guy was probably in his 50s or 60s. Was he hitting on a trash can during the flight? Yeah. Stu would be in his 80s now. But then I saw it was Astros. Okay. Anyway. We'll find this out. Yeah. Do some sleuthing for us. Yeah. See if we can...

But we, you know, it was fine. And you know, oh, this is what I also, I did, I forgot I did this. He doesn't know I did this. The, he ordered a drink and the flight, he went to the bathroom and the flight attendant brought the drink and it was chipped. His glass was chipped and it was like split all the way down the side. Is that why you're drinking into the microphone? Yeah.

And she was chipped and then broken all the way down the side. Like Richard Jewell over there. Yeah. I don't know why. He got bored of the story. So I told the flight attendant, I go, hey, this is not my drink, but it's chipped here. So she goes, oh, thank you. And she took it and then replaced it. And he never knew that happened.

But I potentially saved that man from cutting his mouth. Yeah. I would have brought it up when he sat back down. Just so you know. Yeah. A lot's happened up here since you've been in the bathroom. I got you a whole different cup. But I went ahead and just let him have it.

because he already had been taking up the whole tray. And I don't care for that. Where do you pull up the Astros coaching staff? Yeah, what's the tray? You know, like when you're – When you pull the tray down. When you're first class, you got that little thing. Oh, in the middle? Yeah. He took the whole middle part. He was taking the whole thing, and I just kind of like –

Yeah. And I just kind of came in like this. Yeah. And made enough room for myself. Yeah. You know, I wasn't rude about it, but I was like, I need to set this down. Yeah. Y'all have to share a tray. No, it's got two cup holders. Yeah. So he is just kind of using both. He's just, it's probably an older man that doesn't realize, that's not thinking about like, hey, you're in...

You're not supposed to just use whatever. This guy. Not that guy. Would you recognize him if I pulled him off? Maybe. He was a fatter guy than that guy. Okay, let me type in fat Astros coach. Yeah. I think AI will... AI... To ask AI, like, who would have flown...

to uh in lafayette okay i gotta dig through this what's that what's that uh it could be an older guy and then uh that guy corner i don't think that's him i'll dig in a little bit later okay yeah yeah we'll find this out yeah

Bradley Paul, Nate Nairn's weight loss journey really inspired me to get my act together. And today I'm happy to report I lost 100 pounds in the last eight months. That's nuts, dude. Wow. Keep up the great work. Love the inspirational podcast. Well, that's awesome. Bradley. Thank you. You've inspired me to lose the weight I've gained back. You know what?

I'll do it with you. Let's do it. Yeah. So race to 180. Race to 180. No. What do you want to do? I'll do it. You want to get on a little? Let's do it. Because I'm out of control right now. Well. I'm back to. I'm right there with you, my friend. I'm above 195. I'm at 195. Wow. So bet to race 30 pounds. 30 pounds. Oh, I can drop 30 pounds at a week. Yeah, but it's going to be 30. Yeah, it's not fair. Yeah, it's 50. Yeah. Yeah, 50.

All right. I don't know. But would I lose? No, no, no. 30 for you. It's proportionate to where we're starting. 50 for you, 30 for you. Okay. Starts tomorrow. So let's get McDonald's tonight. All right. I already told Harper I'm going to get McDonald's. So we're getting, let's go eat McDonald's. Let's go inside, eat alone, different tables. Okay.

Not even facing each other. What are you going to eat tonight? I don't think I'm going to eat again. I think lunch was good. Well, why would you not have a little fun? Because I can tell myself that every night. You know how many nights I go? Tomorrows. My whole life is about tomorrow. Let's have a last supper tonight. Let's get after it. I'm on death row. I did that every night this weekend. All right. I like it. Because the last time it helped me when I...

Yeah. And we had a little bit of accountability on here. Body weight over there. And then...

Body weight. Body weight. I like that. How do we know how much you weigh right now, though? Are you guys able to get a scale in here? We can step on. Honesty. Is he one of you? Do you want to step on a scale? Or is it like you're like a woman and don't want to know? I can tell you what I weigh. Oh, what do you want? Yeah. Well, like 275 right now. Yikes.

Now, episode five, episode five, I was 330. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You were crazy. You trimmed it down. I mean, you've done a similar weight thing where...

We lost it, and then we have a lot of it back, but it doesn't look as bad as it did because it just was packaged wrong. It was redistributed. It was redistributed, or we'd done good with the beard. And so it kind of like, everybody's like, no, you're fine. You're like, no, if you got under the hood. Yeah, I just got a nice haircut right now. Yeah, you made us both put...

How about if, yeah, we have to put a basketball jersey on? I like that. That might be comfortable in 2050, though. I mean, 2050. Cheers. A ton 50.

I don't mean to say 2015. I'm saying like, you might, even if you lose 50 pounds, you lose 50 pounds though, dude. Yeah. You'll look great. Yeah. Well, then you could do it. Cause it's like, it's so big that it doesn't, you, there won't even be any shit, you know, but if you're a 2025, you, I think you're having enough shadows. 2025. Yeah.

I don't know why I keep saying T-bar. Well, it's because you're looking at him. All right, body weight. Back off, buddy. Yeah, I'd be 225. You'd feel pretty comfortable wearing the healthiest, I don't know about healthiest, the most in shape I've ever been. Senior year of high school, coming out of summer for football, 215. Yeah.

You got pictures of that? I have a picture somewhere of it. At your lowest, like maybe around your wedding? That was my lowest of my adulthood. Well, yes, what I meant. Did you ever get down to 225? Heck no. Okay. Lowest I've gotten in the last few years is like 260. Yeah, what's a number that like you, you know. 225 would be incredible. Yeah. So you're 225. Yeah, yeah. That'd be 50 pounds. So 30 pounds for me would be 165.

I'll go one six. You know, what were you like? Hello world. Hello world. I was one 60 and you're one 92 right now. Oh, one 90. Yeah. Yeah.

I've been eating too, though. I get it, though. I mean, it's like I had a joke I was doing a little bit for about being in between belt holes, you know, and then I was like, I was like going to do it this weekend. I was like, I'm firmly into that new belt hole now. I'm not. A joke's not even real anymore. Yeah. So, yeah, I've been eating, so I get it. Yeah, I think I weighed myself this morning. I might be 195. Yeah.

So you'd be down to 165. 165. It's going to scale in the room. Yeah, we can. Yeah. Well, you know you feel good saying that's where you're at. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine with 195.

You can drop 10, 15 pounds pretty easy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Just, you know. Sometimes I just fluctuate that with a good night's sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Well, that's a good segue into the next topic. Yeah, look at that. You're not the only guy that can do segues on this podcast, Brian. You're right. You're right. Today's about flying insects.

Wait, do you want to do the rest of these comments? No. No, let's just go ahead and get into it. I was making sure because it's three pages. It's never three pages. I know. I know, but it was, yeah, we're trying not to bring it up. We're going to just move on. I'm sorry. You did the one thing that you've never done, but you decided to do it today, which was try to run this podcast.

podcast. Drinking into the mic. Drinking into the mic. Look, dude. He's getting arrogant. High T Aaron over here. This week we're talking about sleep. Let me ask you guys, how long when your head hits the pillow does it take you to fall asleep? It probably takes me too long

but it's because Laura falls asleep. I mean, in a second, but I mean, I, mine's, I'm just like, I'm sure my brain goes crazy, but then I'm also like, I'm probably drinking. I'm not drinking a coffee right now. It's six 20 PM, you know? And like, you think that'll affect you to all the way to up to when you want to go to bed? I don't think, I mean, this is the only coffee I've had today. And I, there's half a cup left. Uh,

But I'll have a McDonald's. I'll have Diet Coke and all that stuff. Last night, the reason I'm at 158, half a pint or probably a pint is Eddie's ice cream. Yeah. And...

tons of chocolate syrup and that in a pretty big, and I just, and it was like, you know, where it's at the amount where it's like too much, but then you're like, well, if I don't do it all, I'm going to leave not enough for the next time. So you're like, just might as well irritated. Yeah. So I was like, might as well just go to the top and then just have one good run. Cause I'll start tomorrow. That's what I thought. And then, uh, so, you know, so then I, I went and ate that and then had a bag of Skittles and,

And then, wow, went to bed. The odds on this bet are moving so much right now. The odds makers are like, take it off the board. Well, sometimes you got to hit rock bottom, you know? So you got to be like, this is- Yeah, that's a tough rock. I mean- And you got to find out where rock bottom is. Yeah. And I'm mad that my taste were that. I want to be like, how come I cannot- You can tell you're not even enjoying the food.

When you're like, I can eat ice cream and then be like, you know what else? I can use a bag of Skittles. These are two things that have never even talked to each other before. And you're following each other. Skittles meet ice cream. As a kid, you ever chew gum and eat Skittles at the same time?

I did that one time. Probably by accident. I was chewing the gum and then I would eat the Skittles. And then with my mouth, I would wrap the gum around the Skittle and then bite into the Skittle. And eventually I broke down the integrity of the gum. And the gum just kind of fell apart. Well, gum will do that eventually. Yeah. If you leave it in long enough, it'll just become, I mean, it'll feel like a spider web in your mouth. You just got to spit it out.

You told me a trick to not eat late at night is to chew gum. I told you that. I think you maybe said Eric said that or. Yeah. Yeah. But you shared it on this podcast. I thought, oh, that's a good idea. I got some gum. Yeah. Started chewing at night and I was like, this gum's good, but who else would be good? Some candy. So as soon as it's lost its flavor, I spit that gum out. Eat candy. Yeah. Gum is good to, you know, just kind of be. Because you want to be chewing something. You want to be chewing something. Yeah.

They say it can mess up your digestion too, because as you chew, your stomach is getting stomach acid ready to digest what you're eating. Your stomach knows your mouth is chewing. Yeah. It's like the cicadas. Your glands, all your little glands in here know what they try to, your taste buds try to get an idea. They're like, oh, okay, we know what this is. We'll get these things ready to digest. I can do it even without gum if I just.

Yeah. I mean, it might, like they say, some people say like, if you're doing juices, like if you just drink juices that you should chew the juice so that you have some stomach acid to help break it down. Hmm.

but not all people say that. Just some people say some people, I can't talk. I've never heard chew the juice before. I can't. Well, you know, I believe that people are saying videos. Um, well, it's maybe that, let me, it's working its way on the Instagram. It reminds me. I want to see if I can find this comment that I read. Well, keep looking, look for that Nolan Ryan video real quick. And then we'll, what Aaron, how does it take you to fall asleep? Uh,

I'll be not too long. 15 minutes, maybe. I'll prolong it by looking at my phone or listening to stuff. But if I really am tired and lay down, I can fall asleep pretty quickly. But I take Trazodone.

I'd take some to fall asleep at night. It's like a sleeping thing. You could take valerian root. It's a little, you can get it a little tincture. Do you grow it? That's supposed to help you. I don't. I do have some seeds for it. I've not tried to grow it yet, but it can help you go to sleep. You just buy it at a regular store. Yeah. What's the other? Ambien? Melatonin. Melatonin is one. Ambien people take. Melatonin is a natural chemical.

So is Valerian and melatonin. Ambien, they say, can do crazy things. You'll wake up on a bridge. Yeah. You know? No, yeah. And like, yeah, trezodone is not ambient. It's like, but it's like, I think one, it's probably in between melatonin and that, I guess. Yeah. But it's like, you know, it's like when you go to the doctor, I want to, there's all this stuff where you're like, I shouldn't be doing this. I'm eating so much stuff that's making me sick.

I'm like, I have trouble falling asleep. Yeah, because I eat ice cream and Skittles before I go to bed. And then I go lay down. They said six to eight hours before you go to bed, you should lay off caffeine. Yeah, that's what I try to do too. Because it will mess me up. I also had half a Diet Dr. Pepper with that.

skittles ice cream yeah i drink dr pepper with diet diet dot easy diet you're drinking like a coke with ice cream yeah diet coke that's wild though it's like a float but i just take a few sips he's making the way you sipped your diet coke today yeah i don't i don't i'll drink out of a small bottle i could maybe just drink the top well i just want a couple tastes i crushed that diet coke though oh yeah that i told you i only wanted like a half i yeah i drank

the whole thing. It's a very small diet Coke. Yeah. I had not had Diet Coke in a long time. There are few things better than a crisp Diet Coke on a hot day. I did enjoy that. I don't, you know, it's got aspartame in it, which is supposed to be really terrible. A little aspartame there now is like going to kill you. Yeah. I've had the most of it. Yeah. And look at me. His body's 4% aspartame. But, you know, if I get like nauseous, a Coke will really help. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Does my chair.

You want to inject. It just reminded me when you guys were talking about that. It said this guy goes, love me some dusty. I do like what he says. I do like that. He says you can't believe everything you're told while proceeding to believe things he has told by YouTube videos and other conspiracy websites. But that's just all right. So he goes on to say nice things. But I don't believe he says believe things. And all I say is don't believe anything.

Everything. Yeah. All right. So come on, guy. You're not against belief as a concept. Right, right. You know, it's like sometimes YouTube videos and TikTok videos for me are like this. We're sharing ideas, you know? So sometimes I just have to go to the internet to find people that think like me. Right, right. You know? Yeah. But I think he's making a joke about, you know,

But it's like, you're just where you trust to where you look. Yeah. But he's just got an incorrect premise. And I meant to read it weeks ago, but I forgot. Yeah. Well, he's probably happy compliment. Yeah. You don't even read the compliments. You just trash. Well, I'll say, I'll say his name. This guy says, Dusty's my favorite comic. But, but, but,

He does say, it's just another reason why he is awesome and adds an edge to a straight-laced podcast. Love his musical taste as well. Takes a shot at us. Yeah, he does. I think that's

that needed context for what the front said. It should be on your website. I think that's something that you don't know how to take care of. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me. I give it to Ryan McClintock. That's his name. Yeah. I like it, but I just want him to know I don't believe, I don't watch YouTube and go, well, I believe that now. And I, you know, it's like, go to TikTok to believe that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not mad at the guy. That's why I didn't comment. I wanted to save it for the podcast. Social media is like, cause I like, I, I'll, I'll like,

looking at it i don't have instagram on my phone i've had instagram for a while on my phone and then but it's not really instagram but like then there's a twitter and i was kind of just looking at some for news or just whatever and but i mean it's just garbage now oh yeah it's like you i like the more and more you're like it this is pointless it's these same videos you know it's

I mean, it's trash. It's like trashy. Yeah. And I see that there is good stuff, but to find the good stuff, there's just so much trash that you're like, what are we doing? That is true. Yeah. I watched some YouTube videos. There's this one like Tyler Zed guy, Zeducation, and he's like,

he just shares memes and then jokes about the memes. And I find, I love it. I watch it all the time, but sometimes I think, what am I watching here? I'm just watching a guy talk about stuff, talk about memes. I'm going to do, but it's so fun. I, you know, I have a joke about reading, but I want to, I really do want to get into reading and learn more. And, but I found there's this one thing, quick reading, um,

It's like a course, online course, John Quick or Jim Quick. K-W-I-K. Yeah. That's good to start with spelling the word wrong just to get people like you on board with it. This is like 21 days and you're supposed to read 300% faster, more effective than just 21 days. And it's like you see reviews on stuff. It's like a mix of people. It's like they teach you how to speed read and they're like, well, speed reading really a thing and comprehension. Why is the Air Force doing this?

Jim Quick, parallel universe of John Wick. Yeah, I think he just, that's him. He goes and does talks at places. But they're not making, people in the Air Force can't read and they go, go take this class. No, no, I think that he's been brought in. Like he has one of the things is from like Alex Rodriguez, who's like, you know, we brought him in for our company that, you know, he's like, you know.

a talk or two. And, uh, yeah, I don't know if this is going to be it, but it's like one of those things. It's great. It's one of those things that you always see that you're like, uh, it's not just be reading. It's smart reading. It's about retention. Yeah. People have commented how your readings improved though, over this podcast. All right. How was, I mean, I don't comprehend it, you know, and, and,

Yeah, you comprehend. I mean, you know. When you read comments, you know what you're reading. You're not just reading the words. Yeah, but that'd be like music. I don't comprehend music. I don't even understand how there could be a story. I'm looking at it like...

there's a detachment to it. Like, I have no idea what the words, I was like, I can go to the saddest song, but if it's fun, sounds fun, I could say, I could play it at my wedding. Like bluegrass. And I wouldn't even. Sad music, but. Yeah. I wouldn't even know. I'm almost like that too. I would, I would just be like, I don't even know what you're talking about. You're like, that song's a dark song. That's what music is like. Laura, you know, stuff with Harper, um,

I, you know, Laura's got to kind of, I'm like, you got to keep on the music side. You know, some of these songs, I don't even know. You're just going off vibes. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be like a, you know, cause some of the younger songs, these, you know, a lot of these pop songs, I mean, they're getting, they're crazy. Yeah. I would say just not listen to any of those. I mean, I agree, but you're going to hear,

Just in popular culture. It's called pop. You can't stop a kid from listening to music. They're going to hear stuff. And so, Harper actually likes, you know, she listens to some of the Lumineers because they're on the thing. But Laura likes music, so they have a good music. You know, I'll sit and drive. The radio's never on when I'm in the car, so.

You drive in quiet? Yeah. My dad does that too. It's real kind of psycho stuff, but it's, you know what I mean? Oh yeah. I'll drive. But that's what my dad does. Yeah. My dad doesn't. Now I can get into, I listened to music on the way home last night. Yeah. Cause it was like, you know, I just kind of, I can be in the mood, you know, I like listening to music, but if someone else is in the car, I'm going to have it off. Yeah.

My dad says he likes to work out things in his head when he's driving. I like that. I don't know. I'm like, I think you need to relax a little bit. Take some time away from these problems. Yeah. You could start the Nate Bargetzi school for kids who don't read good. Yeah. I watched Zoolander on the plane yesterday. Oh, yeah. Remember that? Yeah. Just when I was at the Titans thing, I saw the model that they had and I made that joke.

You know, where he said, how are you going to learn to read if they can't even fit inside the school? They had that kind of model for the stadium. You know, it's funny. I've never seen Zoolander. Oh, well, that joke would have been funnier then. Those are two great references to it. Yeah. It's the same scene, though. That's what's funny. I think I've seen parts of it. I don't know why. It's funny. I would not say it's a great movie, but it is funny.

Yeah. You think it's a great movie? No. I don't know if it's great, but it's funny. It is funny. American Airlines had a thing for 90 minutes or less movies. Oh. Like this flight's hour and a half, so I'll watch it. Yeah, but there's a reason you've seen Heavyweights and you've seen these other, but you haven't seen that one.

I don't think I've seen heavyweights. Okay, I'll shut up for a little bit. What is that? About the fat camp? Ben Stiller plays the... Oh, I would like to watch that. You haven't seen heavyweights? Is it great? It's awesome. Yeah. I've seen clips of it. It's a fat camp for kids, and they all love going there because they're all fat and they just are friends. Yeah. And then Ben Stiller plays a crazy fitness instructor who buys the camp and turns it into an actual weight loss camp, and the kids rebel against him, and it's...

It's Ben Stiller versus this group of lovable fat kids. That's great. Yeah, it's awesome. And Jerry Stiller's in it too. Isn't the, if you watch the movie, you're like, oh, they're not really. I used to have a bit about that where I watch it now. I'm like, some of these kids look all right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Keenan Thompson, a young Keenan Thompson's in it. Every great fat actor from that generation's in it. It's awesome. All right. Sleep.

So they say the healthiest time for the fall asleep when you when your head hits the pillow is 15 minutes.

Anything past 30, you got some issues. But if you fall asleep immediately, that means you're sleep deprived and that's not healthy either. Oh, really? Yeah. You shouldn't fall asleep immediately. Yeah. Grant, talking about Graham K, he told a story about someone, another comic, that they were in the same room. They shared a hotel room. They shared a hotel room. And I mean, he goes, why didn't Shane Torres or something? He was Shane Torres. Yeah. And he's,

Shane and Graham goes, uh, or Shane goes, all right, good night. I mean, yeah, that, which is unbelievable. Yeah. Soda can fall asleep. I think anywhere. Uh,

Yeah, I've always had trouble, but I don't think I would have as much. I just start thinking and then I can have bad days. There could be days where I'm like, I could be there for a couple hours. But then there's nights where I was very tired last night and I don't think it took me too, too long. Do you fall asleep watching TV? I don't ever want to go to sleep.

I'd rather be up. Yeah. Like I, I feel like I'm missing out. I love to stay asleep when I wake up. I like to stay in bed, but I never want to. I never want to go to sleep. Yeah. It's the opposite. If I had the opposite, I think we would both be down or wait already. Probably. If we, it's the, it's the, you know, when I, when I, in the morning, I'm like, I just kind of want to lay there and like nothing's really happened yet. But at night,

I kind of want to stay up and do things. Hang out. Seinfeld had that joke. What? About how that's the last thing you want to do. Just your hand on the remote is like the last thing that. Fault gets tired. Yeah, because you're like, I got to find something on TV, anything. So there's four stages of sleep.

Stage one is the non-REM sleep where it lasts about seven minutes where your heart rate and eye movement slow down. Stage two, another non-REM sleep with your heart rate, muscles continue to relax. Stage three is also non-REM sleep. Stage four is REM sleep. And this happens after about 90 minutes after you fall asleep. Your eyes move quickly from side to side. So REM stands for rapid eye movement? Yep. Yeah.

But don't they call it REM? REM sleep, yeah. And that's the regenerative. That's the sleep that actually helps you. Yeah. This is when dreaming often happens. And then you just go in cycles all night long in these four stages. So your eyelids are closed, but your eyes are going all over the place. But that's where sleep apnea is. You never get to that last level because your brain keeps thinking you're dying. So it wakes up. Yeah.

that's what an apneic event is when your brain goes we're dying we need to wake up before we choke to death yeah right that's a struggle so i do you remember how many apneic events per hour you had when you took the test i don't yeah yeah i was but i was borderline sleep apnea okay so low 20s or something that sounds right yeah i was like 38 i think

38 per hour. So your brain. Every two minutes, my brain goes, this is it. Wow. Your brain is stressed. Yeah. You wake up mentally drained. Yeah. That's why you don't want to go to sleep. I know people over 100 an hour. Wow. Wow. So every few seconds, their brain wakes up. So you never get that REM sleep, too.

to so you wake up feeling like i didn't sleep at all you didn't really yeah you know i i wore a whoop uh what is that the the band thing that you wear on your wrist it's like a fitbit type thing you know what fitbit is yeah i've never heard of whoop w-h-o-o-p surprising there it is yeah

There it is. Oh, oh. There it is. I think that's whoop. Whoop. W-H-O-O-N-P. Whoop. I thought it was whoop. There it is. Whoop. There it is. Whoop. I think there's an M in there. Oh, man. Whoop. There it is. Whoop. You're absolutely right, but they don't pronounce the whoop. There it is. Whoop. There it is. What are they talking about? This is what this device does. Party people.

Yeah. That song got me going back in the day. Yeah, it's a good one. Dude, like a third grade pep rally. They put on Whoop, there it is. You're like, yes, sir. Let's raise money. You ever thought about how weird it is that we all have to sleep? Even animals? Every living creature sleeps. I bet there's something that doesn't sleep. I don't think so. Bullfrog, they said they thought didn't sleep, but...

because it'll move just as fast if it, anytime, but they're like, nah, it sleeps. Did we ever tell the story about the, the scientists? I don't think so. The aquarium on here? I don't think we ever have. This is, Dusty and I were in Duluth, Minnesota. We went to the Great Lakes Aquarium. Yeah. And it's a,

It was a little bit. It's not the nicest aquarium in the world. Good people in there. I was talking about there being a fountain shut down, and then someone said on the internet, they don't even have a fountain there. But it was like a waterfall, and like half of the waterfall wasn't working. We saw some fish in there that looked like they might be dead, right? So Dusty and I are chatting. We're like, maybe these fish...

Maybe they're asleep. And then we're like, do fish even sleep? Lucky for us, there's a girl standing near us. With a name tag on. It said fish expert. Fish expert. Yeah. So we're like...

Great person to go to for all our fish related questions. So we walk up and we say random question. Do fish sleep? And what does she say to us? She said, I don't know because I don't work here at night. Yeah.

Dead serious. Yeah. We were like, all right. Okay. I mean, that's a great, that's a, that's one of the best answers I've ever had. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Yeah. She's like a fish expert of like that room. Right. I know what's going on right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like she goes, I know that fish likes that corner. Like you could go, oh, wait, so no. Yeah. Like you can even ask her real fish questions, but you could be like, all right. What's that one's name? Yeah. And she's like, all right, perfect. But you would ask her and then she would kind of read the plaque of the thing. I was like, well, you're not even like an amateur fish expert. Like what are you even doing in here? Man, what a good answer. Yeah.

Yeah. Everybody go to Duluth Aquarium. Great Lakes Aquarium in Duluth. Great Lakes Aquarium in Duluth. It's fun in there. It is fun. We had a good time. We went in and there was like a bird cage. And on the door of the bird cage, there was a sign that says, don't leave the door open. The birds will get out. And you're like, are we just running the place? We're responsible for keeping these birds in? Yeah. It was slack in there. Now, have you ever wondered how dolphins and whales that are mammals...

How they sleep? I never heard. Maybe they fog off the mammals. Oh, because the mammals, because they got to breathe. Yeah. Do they lay on their back? No, they go to the top. They float like a submarine. Do they kind of just float like a submarine? Do they do that? I think there is some truth to that. Maybe they just sleep in short intervals. I think there's some truth to that too. They don't get REM sleep? Yeah. They probably don't do it. They sleep differently. They use two hemispheres in their brain and then the right hemisphere shuts off and

And then the left eye will close for about four hours. And then the left hemisphere shuts off and the right eye closes. So they'll just sleep half their brain and, and just kind of alternate. And they kind of don't sleep. Are they always, or maybe they're always sleeping.

I mean, I think, yeah, they're technically, they are sleeping, but the other side's alert enough to keep swimming and probably make sure like something's done. Yeah. But let's say one of them's half asleep and you come up and punch it or something. It's going to kick back on fully. Yeah. Right. If you have to fight a whale, go to the closed eyes. Go at night. Yeah. Go at night. Yeah. And go to the closed eyes side.

Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was interesting. I didn't know. It is. No, I'm joking. It is. It's very interesting. Pete Holmes has a joke about sleep and how if aliens came to Earth and you tried to explain it to them, you know, we eat food because we need fuel for our blah, blah, blah. And then at night, we have to shut down for like...

eight, nine, 10 hours every night. It's crazy. And they're like, Oh, that sounds boring. He's like, no, because we have little movies in our head that we're the star in very often. They're very scary. See, I think sleep makes total sense. I've seen the Pete Holmes joke and, uh, and you got some beefs with it. Yeah. I mean, from a standpoint, if you're like, because, uh, if you're very, like, if you're not doing anything, uh,

then it doesn't make sense because he says that, oh, you need to sleep because you're so tired, because you work so hard. He's like, no, I didn't really do anything. But it's like, if you're actually working, sleep makes total sense. Your body just gets to rest and rejuvenate. Yeah. But I mean, nowadays, I don't know if anybody's really working. Not much.

Like in the sense of it. Yeah. In America. And for comedy, it's fun to make fun of those people. Yeah. He's not talking about a railroad guy from the 40s.

It's also a weird bit to go, sleep, I think makes perfect sense. And it's more than resting. Which then comedy wouldn't work out. I don't know, dusty nose. Well, I get it, but to me, sleep, just because your body regenerates and things happen at night and there's healing that takes place. It cleans out toxins in your brain. Yeah, that's why if you're in the hospital, they're like, all right, get some rest. And then they wake you up every 30 minutes.

It's like chemicals in your body. Yeah. Put chemicals in your body. Take blood from me. It's like, let me sleep a little bit. Yeah. They want to make sure you don't get blood clots. You're like, I'm going to be honest with you. I lay around like this a lot. Yeah. I'm okay. Yeah. Yeah.

This is not my first time spending. This is what I do. Yeah. I spend the whole day in bed every day. I get up at night and, you know. But how different would society be? How different would our lives be if we didn't need sleep? If we evolved to the point where we don't need sleep. A third of our life. It would be so different. I mean, we'd live. Yeah. It's a third of our lives, technically or ideally that we're asleep. And then you just what we do at night.

I mean, it would, everything would change. It'd probably be bad. Yeah. Yeah. It would be, what are you going to do at night? You know, it's only bad. Some people would still sleep. Just there's nothing else to do. What if you couldn't though? If you couldn't sleep, you would go, I bet you would do some of your body where you go and like have to sit in a quiet room and meditate. It'd be met. You'd meditate.

You could be much more productive, like you said, but you'd never get to enjoy that feeling of relaxation and rest. But would you be more productive just because you're awake? I mean, I know when I'm awake, I kill a lot of time throughout the day. Right. But you have the potential to do a lot more. Which is the joke that P. Holmes was making. Yeah.

Well, you sleep and even kill time harder. It kills time better than sleep. But I'm guessing you're right. It's like time travel. Yeah. But I'm guessing if you've evolved to the point where you don't need sleep, you're not even tired.

There's no fatigue throughout the day. Yeah. Right. So let's just like, what time of day are you at your sharpest? Like, I don't know. Like it's a show time, right? You're like six 37. That's when like you're going. Yeah. If you were just at that the whole 24 hours, think about that. That'd be exhausting, but it wouldn't be because you don't need sleep.

That's the thought experiment is that you don't need... Your body would get beaten up and wore down a lot more. I think the whole point of this discussion is that that stuff didn't happen. Right. Well, I know, but...

Just because you don't need sleep doesn't mean that you need to rest. Yeah, but there's no, I got to lay down and take a nap. That's what makes sleep weird. It's more than resting. Your consciousness changes. And an opportunity for us not to be consuming some sort of media. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Because we're on our phones. We're looking at something or we're listening to the radio or watching a movie. We're always taking it in. It's the first thing you do and the last thing you do. It's a weird thing. I don't think I've ever seen a screen in a dream. You ever think about that? I'm never looking at my phone in a dream. I'm never watching TV in a dream.

I bet when your life flashes before your eyes, before you die, I bet even though so much of your life is looking at a phone like this, I bet you don't see any of that. That's interesting. You ever think about that? That's deep. Deaf people sign in their dreams. Oh, really? Some have. I'm serious. That's mean. That's mean, Brian. No, it's true. It's true. Come on. Let's not punch down. They do. Like, you know, if you have a nightmare or something, they've been, yeah, some deaf people sign in their dreams. Really? Yeah. That's amazing.

Well, that makes sense. Yeah. Now, someone said the way I ran the 40-yard dash is the way you run in dreams when someone's chasing you and you can't move. That's how I feel. The people that took your run and put it in the airport is really good. Yeah, I'm going to pull it. They did with me, Godzilla chasing me after Nate said I look like a Godzilla movie. I'm pulling it up. I'm pulling it up. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Somebody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's an awesome one. Yeah. I mean, that's like, that does look like how you run in a dream though, right there. Yeah. That's how I feel. I can't get my legs to move. Yeah. I mean, it hurts. It does hurt. It just, everything hurts. It does. That's really how I feel.

I mean, unbelievable. And I'll tell you what, he does not do that at the airport. So I don't know why he did that. You'd love to see that urgency at the airport. I would. I love it.

That's Matt Pryor who made that for us. That's very good. That's so funny. A couple more. For the record, though, I do like Pete Holmes jokes. And he's got other jokes. You made your point. You made your point. One joke. You used to do podcasts with Pete. Yeah, I was just watching it being like, you know what? I like Slick, though. I get it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's, you know, do you think you would like the audience member that when you tell a joke, they go, but I like that. No, no, I wouldn't. I mean, you're absolutely right. But you know, we're just talking. I would never comment on his video and go, I love sleep. Yeah. But you'll text him later. Yeah. Yeah. But you would also say it on a pretty big, you know, decent sized podcast. People are listening. Well, that's why I want to make sure to know in case he listens that I do like Pete Holmes and I like his jokes. Yeah.

A couple more real fast. You can sleep standing up. It's very hard, but some soldiers on nighttime sentry duty, whatever that is, have trained themselves to sleep. Sure, it's a little more serious than just saying whatever that is. Whatever nonsense they're getting into. Yeah. World War II, whatever that is.

The guys had trouble sleeping when they were in the foxholes during Vietnam, whatever that is. Look at this AI-generated answer. It's the duty of serving as a sentry. Sentry duty is the duty of serving as a sentry, which is a soldier who stations to prevent... It's just a guy who's standing guard somewhere. Okay. Yeah, in a watchtower or something. Well, they've trained themselves to stand while sleeping.

Did you ask for AI to be in there? I said, I just Googled century beauty. I think I mentioned last week where Google now gives it to you. Which I'm not, look, they're doing great so far. I don't mind it being at the top. I like it. Just so you know, AI has not looked at any of these topics yet.

We brought that up last week. Yeah. About AI using, helping with topics. We're going to, yeah, we're going to experiment with that. Read that last sentence. Is that like saying how AI would not have chosen sleep as a topic? No, I love sleep as a topic. No, no, I'm fine. I like sleep. It's just because we talked about it last week. Yeah, we didn't do it. Yeah. Read that last sentence. For example, teachers may be deployed as sentries at border points to check for illegal transportation of poultry. So look, AI has its limitations. Yeah.

AI is not perfect. I just think that teachers... AI right now... We got teachers checking for illegal poultry. Yeah. They're smuggling chickens across this here border. Do we not ask enough of teachers? Get these math teachers out here at the border. Oh, gosh. I got detention duty. What are you doing? I gotta go look for illegal chickens at the border. At the county border.

Just go there. It's AI. I think AI, they go, yeah, it's the gist. Yeah. They go the spirit of the answers there. It's not so much about the exact words. They don't know examples. What was you calling me last week? Or what was the, what's going to replace me? Bot baits. Bot baits or something. I wouldn't do that. Yeah. Yeah.

Got another couple weeks before AI replaces me. Yeah. You're still in there. We're helping AI right now. AI's like, yeah, you're making fun of me, but I'll do that. It's really a race. You are racing AI. Yeah. So as long as you stay ahead of it. Yeah. The real John Henry of our generation. The singularity. When that happens. Yeah. That's when they catch us. When people can't tell.

But I mean, you know, you're your own thing. I don't think I think people always. Yeah, I think I'm always going to break some stuff at the table. That's right. That. Yeah. That even AI, you know, even when I did something like that. Yeah. That even the sum of all human knowledge can't get to. Yeah. I agree. Longest to go without sleep. 18 days. Longest someone did. Yeah.

They used to be a Guinness World Record, but they stopped it because it's dangerous. People were dying. I don't know if anyone died, but they were just afraid somebody would. Maybe they did. 18 days is like... Well, if they died, then you fell asleep. What are you doing on day 12?

I don't know. There was an experiment on a guy. This is back in the 60s, and he stayed awake for 11 days. Did this guy consent to this experiment? Yeah. He was 17 years old. Okay. On day 10, he beat the experimenter in a game of pinball. So the other guy stunk. Yeah. The other guy goes, I've been asleep for 11 days. Yeah. Well, what's pinball? They had to wake him up, and he goes, what? What's pinball? Yeah. Pinball. Oh, yeah. It's a song by the Who. Yeah.

Did I say it wrong or you just don't know what that is? I didn't. I just wasn't. I thought it was like ping pong. I wasn't putting it together. How long have you been awake, Dusty? I am tired. But I just couldn't. When you say you beat him in it, I was picturing them playing each other. Yeah. What does that make sense? You have scores. Player one, player two. Yeah, but you get. You know what? Dusty's making some good points here. What are you talking about, right? Yeah.

You still got to beat the guy you're playing. You don't beat the guy. But, I mean, you know, you get a couple bad bounces. It's like you're not –

It's that ball. Yeah, pinball is... I was thinking ping pong, too. Yeah. Because he's playing against... That's what the thing said? Yeah. Come on. I'm not blaming you for that. I'm saying... But that is like an AI. That is no different than a teacher guarding illegal poultry. I think whoever writes that example is also...

Would defend that one pretty hard. Beat you in pinball. What are you talking about? Now, this guy, so he was awake for 11 days, and then he went to sleep, slept for 14 hours, and then got up and stayed awake for quite a while, like for 12 more hours before he went back to bed. I think I would have been sleeping for days. Yeah, I'd have been wiped out. Yeah, that's crazy, dude.

I slept for, I was just looking at my stats because I get all my stats from a CPAP machine. I had a good night last night. I slept eight hours and 54 minutes last night. That's good. That's a good night's sleep right there. I actually slept well all weekend. I had a theory that we sleep in intervals of three hours. So it's best to get...

Three, six, or nine hours. So you are almost at nine. That's my own personal theory. Based on what? I think that's where REMs... I think we hit those cycles in three hours. I think everybody knows Dusty in this podcast, so it's based on Dusty. That's my own personal theory. But you hit almost nine hours here, and you feel good today. This is maybe...

On the road with you, it's maybe the best sleep I've ever gotten on a weekend on the road. I slept six hours on Thursday. Friday, I slept seven and a half hours. Saturday, I slept six hours. Does it tell you your REM sleep and stuff? Yeah, a little bit. I had... So, last night... You have to cut it on. When you cut it on, are you...

still on your phone or is it like when you cut it on that's what helps is where i put it on it's kind of i've kind of trained my body to go because you can't see over it because you can't see over it my eyes aren't covered because the helmet because the guard comes down i'm not wearing a stormtrooper helmet that's what i picture so is it hard to see through the eyes

Like when Darth Vader goes into... Is that why you go... Is that why you left the light on all weekend? Because you didn't know. Yeah, because you didn't know. Yeah. But is it... So, yeah, so you turn... I got some good sleep. So once you put it on, click it on... I'm out pretty soon after that. And is just oxygen going into you? It's not oxygen. It's just air. Just air. Oh.

It would be cool if it were oxygen. Yeah. I mean, there's going to be oxygen in the air. Yeah. But I wonder if it would help you sleep. Like, what if it just helped anybody sleep? I'm sure it would. Probably would. Yeah. But you can't roll over anything. You lay on your back. Yeah. You can figure some stuff out. Oh, yeah. I lay on my side. Oh, really? You can manipulate it in ways. I mean, the cord's got some give. Yeah. You just got...

You got the cord. Do you ever wake up with the cord wrapped around you? I woke it up as a weird situation. It's all, it's just a mess. Yeah. Oh, and that's easy. So you see the courts, you're like, you got wild. Yeah. I have a joke about it. Cause Ruth and I both wear seat pads. When we go to bed at night, the lights in our neighborhood, damn. Yeah.

It's like a brownout. Yeah. You say that on stage? Yeah. And you wake up and it's like a pair of headphones in your pocket. Everything's all tangled up. Eleanor will never need a sleep machine. She'll just lay in y'all's room. Either side, she can just... Hey, did y'all hear that tornado last night? Nah, we didn't hear it. I mean, just, it's a high-tech...

Like when you go in your bedroom, it just looks like a high tech. Yeah. We're very futuristic. Mission control. Do you have lockers next to your beds? Y'all changing to your stuff. Power up. You're like, good day. And then you already got yours going. I picture it like...

Yeah, what I'm picturing is like Breaking Bad. Like those things. Oh, yeah. What does it look like? Like Walt and Jesse getting ready to cook. Yeah. Let's sleep. Let's sleep. You've never seen one? No. There's different kites. There's the nose pillows. I shared a hotel with a comic years ago one time, and he wore one. And it was like.

It was really like a ventilator going all night over there. When you breathe, you can hear it. It's better than the alternative, though. Yeah. Than him snoring all night. Yeah. You know? So you don't know what, like, can you describe what it looks like? Well, there's some that just have nose pillows. Mine's the kind that goes over. Nose and mouth. Mine actually doesn't go over my nose, just my mouth. Oh, okay. Yeah, mine's just over the nose. Just depends on how you sleep. Just a preference thing.

Some people go over the whole face just to make sure everything's good.

I mean, that person wakes up like they're underwater. Their eyes are real big because they're looking through glass. You're like, hey. What happens when you forget it, though? Like, say you go on the road and you're like, ah, I forgot my CPAP. Like, what is that like for you? It's rough. I don't even take mine with me. Yeah, that's crazy. But he, well, I think I'm just on the border. At least that's what they said. Right.

I remember we were in Salt Lake City and we were going to go eat like middle of the day. And he said, man, I fell asleep by accident and didn't have my CPAP on and I feel terrible. Yeah. But that wouldn't. You don't feel like that if you don't use it? Do a little nap. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. I can't sleep without it because it's like I'm getting negative sleep. You wake up feeling worse than you did before. And I was doing that for years before I got this. I know. How small is it?

It's, I mean, this big. Yeah. I use it on the bus. Yeah. Mike James brings his too, I think, right? Oh, does he? He wears one. I don't. Yeah, he does. All right. It's good. We'll get some good sleep on your bus, man. There's a lot of assisted sleep on that bus, but it's, it's good sleep. Hmm. Gladys.

Comedy's changed. You know, there used to be, I used to think it was a real party on there. Now it's all just CPAP machines. That's what I think when people come into my green room. I think people think that it's about to be a party back there. And I'm like, just, you know, I'm just sitting there. Yeah. I mean, I'm waiting. I'm waiting for someone to come in there and you start talking to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys getting after it back there? I might have a sugar-free Red Bull. Yeah, we'll see. You guys, we're going to see what happens. That's because I'm the horn with Home Depot. That's right. Oh, I went to the dealership to get some work done on my, or get my oil changed.

And they were like, you're actually not due for an oil change. You need to get your tires rotated. And I was like, all right. But they were like, you are due for some services. You need to get your spark plugs changed. Of course, yeah. And I go, all right, well, what's that cost? They go $700. I was like, for spark plugs? I was like, what do they cost, $6? She was like, well, actually $18. But it takes a lot to get to the spark plugs. How many spark plugs are there? It takes a couple hours to get in there. And I go, a couple hours? $700. And then I go, well, no, we're not going to do that.

And then I was like, and then she was like, and you also do to get your transmission service. And I was like, well, what did they do there? And she goes, well, she said, that's $400. She said, they empty out the fluid and then put some new fluid in there. And I go for $400. She's like, well, it's a real special machine. And I'm like, well, I bet it is.

Why is it like two hours to get to a spark plug? They're trying to get to it through the trunk. Where is the spark plug? I know. That's what I'm saying. It's like you're talking $1,100 for just some regular. You don't even know if anything's messed up.

You're just saying service. I need a real mechanic. That's crazy. Yeah. 11. Yeah. That's so expensive. Yeah. Just to be like, oh yeah, you do have, that's like going to into the doctor and they're like, you have to have surgery. Yeah. And this is your car. Where's this? Laura looks at that stuff. But Laura changes a lot. She'll watch a YouTube video on it. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Where was this at? The dealership. You don't want to name drop the dealership? Well, it's the Toyota dealership. And I've been going there and it's like, I like going there because actually they don't really recommend a lot of these things. You should collaborate with Nissan. Yeah, I should. In a video. Yeah, ask them to collaborate on Instagram. I should. Get something going. You ever want to talk to people and you go, you know what you're doing is you're taking advantage of people, right? You know that deep down. But it's happening to them too.

What do you mean? Well, they go get their car fixed, but it goes, they're, they're, they're getting to avenge it in another situation, like where it's all it's, it's to the top. It's everybody. You're really, you're just, you're technically just as bad as that person because you're both not changing because it's the top that's doing it. So you two citizens that are not the top, you are not agreeing to,

Even though you think they shouldn't be doing it, but there's things that you would have done that you would have waited on tables and stuff that you could have or whatever in life you could have done taking advantage of someone else. So those two people should agree to go like, yeah, none of us agree to this anymore. Right. You go to a mechanic. I expected it to cost money, right? I don't expect things to be free, but I expected they were going to say, ah, be 200 bucks for the spark plugs and, you know.

I don't know, $200 for the transmission. Yeah. They're like $11. I was like, what? I came in here for a $30 oil change, and you're going to try to hit me with $1,100? You're not saying it's messed up. You're just saying, well, you're at that mileage level now. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it's like a mixed win. But everybody's agreeing. The top is the one that's, you know, Toyota at the highest is setting these prices, I guess. But someone at the top is setting those prices. And that person's just doing it. But they're choosing to participate in this. But what do you want them to do? Get fired? No. Go find a different job? Go to a job where the whole point of it is not to exploit people. I know, but then you're situationally. So what that person's got a job and like their life is not involved around Toyota.

So their life is like, I'm trying to just give food for my family and provide all this stuff. So it's not... So I'm saying you're just as much of a problem because I'm sure you've had a job. We've all had jobs in our life where we are...

pushing something that should not be pushed. He sold pesticides. Yeah, I'm pushing my comedy right now. Yeah. No, I know, but I'm saying with pesticides, you could be like, yeah, you don't, like it's bad, but you just- I was the guy that would be like, this is actually the best deal. And then when I waited tables and my seafood restaurant started serving steak, I'd be like, don't get that steak. I'm like, you know, because it's expensive and it wasn't good.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you can do that, but I mean, like, I think they're, you know, I don't blame the, that person is you. That's you sitting behind. What about this? So I was in Chattanooga at the comedy catch and you have to get a parking pass. You have to pick it up at the front office. So I don't have a parking pass to park my car to go get the parking pass. So I parked my car in a spot. I write a little note on a piece of paper. We'll be back in under two minutes running to get my parking pass. Come back.

I have a parking ticket. I could not have been more mad, dude. I'm standing up. I'm looking around the parking lot. Where are you? See, that's the thing. It doesn't help for you to yell at that guy. But that guy is choosing to do that. But that guy will get fired if he does not. If he just goes, I'm going to be a reasonable person. Get a job where you're not. I'm lucky enough that doesn't ruin my whole week.

There are people who's literally their, their months are ruined because that guy's job is to do you're doing nothing. I know. All right. But that guy is also has a job because there's people that would just leave their car parked on a street for two months and never do it. So if you don't fix it. So I know that there's, there's some give and take, but you don't know what the give and take is. And I'm sure he's seen, uh,

5,000 different scenarios where it's like, I watched a guy ride a video thing and said, I was coming right back. That's like the people that get their cars towed. I don't understand it. I've never understood that when they go, you go, you did not pay the money.

But could you have that job? But then they chased down the tow truck. Could you do that for a living? Look at people in the eyes and go, I'm sorry your life's about to be changed. But could you look at that person and go, just pay your bill. I don't want no one to do this. It can't be chaos out there. But if you're choosing jobs to go into every day, you want to just write parking tickets for people. Not everybody's fortunate to get to choose their job like it's out of a...

like a, like you just graduate college and go, I'll take whatever. I'll take this job. And this job, you just go, I got to have the job that I have. When I worked at the water company, it's not like I'm going there because it's not because I'm like, I'm a diehard water. It's like they had benefits. So I had to go read people's water and I had a lot. If people didn't pay their water and we would try and we would, we would try to help them because you'd have to go in and lock their water. So they can't use their water. And you kind of go to them and you go, Hey,

you know, you got to pay this dude. Like you're not paying, you know, it's like, it's, they're going to, they're going to be like, why are you not shutting that water off? It's a business. Well, eventually you have to shut it. No, I did not think like,

I don't look forward to going to do that to you, but it's also the same. It's the same situation. Like what do don't we're not, I'm not just like making this up. I'm not, you're, you're not paying the water. Look, we would even give them extra time. And we, I mean, we would, as the worker push it as much as you can. Now you're right.

And I chose that job because what else am I going to choose? I don't have a college degree. So I don't have – I've got to go get benefits. I've got to go work because I didn't get to go to college. A job is a job. But I'm saying if you wake up and you've been doing this five years and you're like, what do I do all day? All I do is go around and ruin people's weeks, months. No, but you don't think of it like that because it's – I know. Maybe you should take a step back and think about the impact that your job actually has on people. But also, I know, but that –

life's not fair and it's not fair to, to put all these people in situations, all those people, trust me, I don't want to, I don't never wanted to cut someone's water off. My life would be so much better if everybody would follow the rules and just to the water. So it's the same situation. Right. So you're going like, what do you, do you think this is fun? No, I don't want to do the fun thing, but someone has to be an adult to,

And go, we can't have just lunacy going on because there's way more in, you know, and there are people catching strays and, you know, like you are getting a ticket, even though you're a good guy and all that kind of stuff. But there's 30. That was parked illegally. But I was parked illegally. I was like, come on, just let me do it for like 30 seconds.

You know what I'm saying? I agree with you. I don't think they wake up and they're happy to do that. I'd rather live in the world we live in now than a world where it's just chaos and you can park wherever you want and there's no repercussions, right? Yeah. I just have to think, I hope that that person lays their head down that night and go like, what did I do today?

I know, but that's a brutal thought to throw at someone. I know. That's what I think. I think that person has that job because they get health insurance. The job I had was a job with benefits, health insurance. It had all that stuff. That's why I worked at the water company. So I'm...

Going to bed, I don't want to do any of this. There's no emotion really involved in it. If it was the only decision I made, then I would have emotion involved in it saying, I don't like this guy. But you're doing it. It's all day long. Would you agree if somebody liked doing that, then they got a problem? Somebody's like, yes, sir. Yeah, I mean, I guess. Give them a ticket. All in all is like, as a person, just go. Whenever I feel like I'm upset, it can't really probably be the person in front of me.

That's the problem. And it's hard because they're the ones on the phone. They're like when you go to airports. I try to kind of calm down and go –

Even though you're like, you're the only person I can talk to. Yeah. But it's like, you know, it's this, your whole system is putting all of, that's what I'm saying. It's kind of equally on all of us. So the person that's riding the ticket, you're just as much of a problem because you're both doing something that you're like, we've all mutually agreed not to do because this one,

the government or whatever, as you know, that town has said, you can't do this kind of stuff. And it's because people are breaking rules and then they wouldn't, where, you know, there is no like just a guy being a good guy anymore. It's like, there's all this like kind of bad stuff going on. We're all getting screwed by this. You're all getting screwed by the system. Right. So it's, what's the difference between you and him? You've had to do something. I'm a good dude. Yeah. I know what you mean. I feel that time on there. Instead of if I saw that two minutes. Yeah.

I did write the tie. I'd like a good, maybe you wait for the guy. That's all I want. I'm not mad at that guy now, but like,

If I saw that guy now, I'd probably laugh about it with him. But in the moment, I was like, come on. It's in the... Yeah, in the moment... Yeah, you have a... Everybody's going to be frustrated. That guy will be frustrated if he got a ticket. Everybody could be... You'll be frustrated in the moment. But I don't ever think of it as... The person's not intentionally like, I can't wait. When they... People yell at people, again, these... You know, it's like refs. We talk about that in NBA. It's like, it's not... You want to go... I mean, give these people a break, dude. Like, I know they make bad calls and stuff like that, but...

You just go like, if you don't have that, now we don't have the sport and the sport's gone.

And when they don't make calls, it gets pretty chaotic. You watch everybody cheat immediately. Right. Even when there's rules in the NFL and they're cheating on with each other, like they're cheating, listening to stuff, Astros banging trash. They have all these rules because you think everybody's like, yeah, just don't bang trash cans. But then the Astros are like, every other team is probably doing something too. And so y'all just caught ours, you know, brought it back to Astros. Yeah.

And Dusty just got his power cut off. Well, not just, but. Yeah, it's been a while. No, it's been a while. But you deserved it. But I'm just looking for a good, honest mechanic out here. That's what I want. And, you know. Started doing a healthy debate. Yeah. You guys got fired up. It's interesting. I mean, I don't even disagree with you. No, I know. It's just. It's hard. I think that's something as you get older, too. You just get like, you know, it's just like.

I mean, it's like when people talk about voting, not to get, like, where they, but you know what? Voting in your local town, like that matters. That really matters because that stuff is who you're putting in charge of that kind of stuff. So the setting, the tone of the town is being set by kind of what's being, who you're voting for and who you're putting in. And it's all those things that none of us care about or really know about because you're like, I don't know how to vote for this person.

you know, like someone that was running for Harper's school or something, you know, and you're like, no one's ever even thought about even this person, who this person could be. And then stuff gets crazy or something changes. Start having teachers checking for illegal poultry. Yeah. You start having teachers check for illegal poultry. And you're like, what did that? And you're like, yeah, cause you didn't, you didn't care. Another celebrity telling us how to vote. Yeah. I vote for letting teachers vote.

Let you bring in poultry. I mean, yeah, the teacher. Poultry is illegal. That's what I want to know. You probably can't get ostrich. I'm guessing I can't get ostrich here in Tennessee. Oh, I assumed all poultry was chicken. Yeah, me too. I thought poultry was just bird meat.

Well, I've had horse. Like quail. You don't like quail as poultry? I guess that's true. Squab. I think quail would look down on being called poultry. I think quail would be. What about squab? I don't know what that is. I agree with you. Quail is like, I'm a much better than a chicken. Quail's a. Quail's a. There's degrees of poultry. Turkey. Turkey's poultry too. But quail's like a high brow. You don't think squab's up there too? I don't even know what that is. I don't even know what squab is. I think it's baby pigeon. Oh. That sounds like something. Yeah. That's right. We had a squab. I think a quail.

I think a quail is a pheasant, something like that. A quail is, you know. Yeah, you're right. It's like a high, you know, it's a highbrow. Yeah. I picture a quail has got like a pipe and it's like, I'm not poultry. You're like, you're going to eat me? Yeah. Don't group me in with a poultry. I'm not the poultry. You know, the tipping thing that I don't like that they make, it's not that kid's fault that they're doing it. You know what? I agree with you.

Yeah. About that. When they flip that thing around, the joke is, look how ridiculous this is. Yeah. The 18-year-old kid at the register is not setting the tipping policy for that. He probably hates the awkward moment of having to ask for it. And it could be as simple as he doesn't even probably know.

And that's the thing is because a lot of people just tip because it's like they feel uncomfortable. There's a lot of like that kind of stuff going on. But it's like, yeah, you could go. And it's hard because you don't you're like, I don't have the time. So it's either you got to have the time to go call that owner. And it could be as simple as like that owner's like, I don't know. I just got this software and I've never looked at it. Yeah. And then, you know, he's like, yeah, I would take it off. But it's, you know.

We got a lot of people that are not professional. Dusty, he'll write a letter. I'm sorry. I know I will write a letter. I'll call. I'll email. I'll do whatever I got to do. You think you'd be mayor of the town at some point? I'd like to be. Or sheriff. I'm going to try. Do you want to be sheriff or mayor? I think I'd rather be mayor. I want to reach out to the mayor of McMinnville, and I'd like to try to hang out, try to be friends with the mayor.

That's what I'm trying to learn how to become a mayor. I want to think you have to cut your hair. You think you're living in town where you're expected to look like that? I'd like to do that. I'd like to achieve a level of fame enough to where people go, oh, no, we know who this guy is. And then they elect me.

But have you ever seen when they show mayors of towns sometimes, some of them are like, they look like politicians, and some you're like, that's a small town. Yeah. That's what I want. And see, McMinnville has a bit of a kayaking vibe to it. So I think I could come in and bring a cool element to it. I don't want to take the current mayor's job, but when he's ready to, or she, I don't know who it is. When they're ready to step out of there, I'd like to come in behind them. But you wouldn't run against them?

Well, you know, it depends. Do they want to be my friend or not? You know what I mean? If they don't, if they reject my friendship, then of course I have no choice. So say he works at this mechanic shop that you're a go-to. Yeah.

you'd run against him pretty comfortably. Well, I'd like to at least have a talk with him, just see what's going on. And what would you do as mayor? You would probably first thing just go get the things you're annoyed with fixed? Oh, yeah. Restaurants? I would go to restaurants. But they'd be very specific. Restaurants I would go to right away and be like, hey, you got a thing going here, but you got to step it up a little bit.

Like the barbecue restaurant that doesn't seem to know what barbecue chicken is. It's like you got to at least come up with a reason why you don't have it. Don't pretend like you don't know what it is. And crime is through the roof, obviously. But –

The barbecue chicken. The restaurants are on board. The restaurants and the rest fixes itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody knows that. Get a good restaurant scene going. Yeah. Because they're not open on Mondays. Right. They're not open on Mondays. Last Monday, I went to an Applebee's.

Oh, you know, I went to an Applebee's and then on my own personal podcast, I complained about the Applebee's. Then I went on TikTok later that night to a video I had posted. And the guy goes, I think I was your waiter the other night at the, at the Applebee's. So I really kind of trashed him on the podcast, but, uh,

Not him personally, but I was- The system that he's in. The system that he's in. And then a little bit personally. Yeah, yeah. Some ugly- I just mainly, he didn't refill my water. He asked me, did I want another water? And then I said, yeah. And then he never brought it.

So I was like, come on, guy. People make stuff uncomfortable. Like, you're right. I talk about professionalism and no one's professional. Does not mean that people are not don't know how to do the job that they're doing. Sure. So, yes, there is situation. You hope everybody's operating at the professional way. There's also jobs that are just

That's a tough job for a parking ticket person because it's like their job is only to do this, but their job is also to keep the street in order. So then when you don't pull down there and go, what is going on with this street? Yeah. And then you don't even want to come down to that place because it's just chaos. Right. And they won't refill your water. And then there's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Applebee's is taking a turn, and it used to be a hot spot. It's taking a turn now. But no other restaurant in McMinnville is open on Monday. Why are they all closed on Monday? I don't know.

I don't know what's going on. Is that so you'd stop that at the first thing at the mayor? Yeah, so I'd like to just get a – I want to be his friend and then just get a general vibe of what's going on. But if you go – Because I like McMinnville. People think I've been trashing it. I like it. But you would – like as the debate, you and him debate.

And first thing you go, what's up with Monday here? Yeah. You make him answer for the Monday. Right. Right. You find out he goes, I fast on Mondays. You go, the whole town doesn't have to fast. Right. Right. You know, you feel free to do what you need to do, but the whole town doesn't have to do it. Because Sunday I can see it. Yeah. Monday I don't.

Yeah, Monday, it's like, any time, like when I was in my own hometown over Christmas, it was like, I don't know, this year Christmas was like on Monday or something. Tuesday, no place was open to get a coffee in the morning. And then I was like, all right, all right, it's the day after Christmas.

but it is a Tuesday, Wednesday, still not open. I'm like, we got to get back to work sometime, guys. I want a coffee out here. It's, it's a, it's a, in Opelika, my hometown. I was like, it's a work week. Well, you're in a, you're in a hometown. You're in a small town. My buddy was like, we're not, we're not all a big city like Nashville. I'm like, I'm not making fun of the town. I'm like, just give me a coffee spot. That's open. Yeah.

That's all I want is a coffee. I think people are just easy living and they don't need as much. Yeah, it's nice. It's a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. It's not a Sunday. You're not looking for a transmission on Wednesdays. You're asking for coffee that's everywhere. Just a cup of coffee, yeah. Just one of the multiple coffee shops. Something, you know.

Yeah. In front of Gob. What was the bird? Quibs. Squab. Squab. Yeah, I'm not out here looking for quail and squab. Yeah. Which you might be able to get. Yeah. That might be true. Squab is a baby pigeon. All right. It looks good. All right. This is gone. Yeah. I don't know. This episode was about sleep. We need to go to sleep. Yeah. All right. We're back out. New Orleans. Yeah.

This is the week you're with me. Yeah. Yeah. My show last night in Huntsville went so well, they said, we need to put you in an arena. So you're going to the arena. I'm doing an arena. So you're doing Huntsville and then like literally doing the arena right after. A week later. A week later. That's too bad. That timing's bad though for you. Why? Well, because you would be able to push it from the stage. That's true. That's true. But I...

we kind of alluded to it last week's episode, but I was hoping people wouldn't even know I was out with him because I'm like, they're like, Oh, I'll just see him. Maybe you won't be. Yeah. Eight minutes is all we want from Bates anyway, but no, I hope they come to my show. Yeah. It's stand up live.

First weekend of June, I'm in Phoenix, Arizona at Desert Ridge Improv. Then the next week, I'm in Sunnyvale, California at Rooster Teeth Feathers Comedy Club. Come on out and see me. I want to be in Cape Girardeau on Thursday, which I don't know if that's a corporate gig or not, but I will be there. And then I'm in St. Louis and then Royal Oak, Michigan. Then the next week, I'm in Fargo, North Dakota and Bismarck, North Dakota. Check those out.

All right. Well, I hope you had a great weekend. I hope you had a good week. Have a great week this week, and we will see you next week. All right. All right. Bye. Love. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audio Boom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

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There is nothing else that sounds like, feels like, or looks like the set of wheels in your garage. With over 122 million parts, you can make sure your number one ride or die stays running smoothly. So there's no limit to how far you can take it. Brake kits, turbochargers, engines, exhaust kits, roof racks, LED headlights, bumpers, whatever your baby needs, eBay Motors has it all.

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