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Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by DraftKings. Chime Financial, BetterHelp, and Electric E-Bikes. Welcome to the Nate Land. Hello folks, and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm sitting here with, we got a few today. I can't see out of these glasses. I can't either. So, Aaron, somewhere. Yep. Bates. Bates.
And then filling in for Dusty, we had to double it up because no one could carry the weight of what Dusty brings to this. Two for one. Two for one. Greg Warren. Hi, guys. John Crist. We'll try. We'll do our best. Yeah. Yeah, they're here. We, a little surprise, I think, for everybody listening, we are here in Paducah,
Kentucky. I got to take these off. We're at about two-thirds of the solar eclipse. You can't see. The glasses, you can't see at all.
We're at McCracken High School in Paducah. Go Mustangs. We're on their football field. They let us come. This is the number one place to be, right? It's the place to be. Feels like it, man. There are people out and about. Lawn chairs getting ready. Yeah. Grilling out.
I thought it would be, you definitely see people out, but it didn't feel like, I mean, maybe there's a spot where people are traveling to. For some reason in my head, I thought it'd be like Manhattan traffic out here. Everybody screaming at each other? Yeah, like a whole thing. At the very center of the eclipse, it's going to be dark for like four and a half minutes. For us, about a minute and a half, so...
What do you mean? Wait, what do you mean? Well, the more inward you go to the exact totality, you're going to be dark longer. I thought that's what we are. Well, we are, but just less time. I don't think it's the center, though. It's in Texas, right?
Well, there's a line that goes all the way through the United States, and it's about 115 miles wide. If you're right in the middle of that, you're going to get dark longer than on the edge like we are. So it's a give and take. We'll get total darkness, but for a less amount of time. That's right, yeah. Okay, I think it's worth it. Yeah, yeah. So this will be 100% darkness, but less. Yeah, just for less period of time. John said earlier he doesn't believe it's going to happen.
Yeah. He's still on the fence. I mean, I don't understand. I mean, we're 25 minutes away here. And it's going to be fully dark. Yeah. Do you not remember it happening? Yeah, but it didn't get... It got completely dark. Yeah. During the day. I got bit by a dog.
During the eclipse. Animals change when they change, man. If there's a dog around, it's not my dog. It was some hippie's dog that got me. We went down to this farm with a bunch of hippies and there was a dog and it was during the eclipse and he got me. Good. To be fair. Yeah. Just aggressive. He didn't like it.
They they're disoriented Nate. Yeah, I mean if the dogs yeah dogs are in the hippies Hippies were medicinally disoriented Yeah, but if there's an animal around here you guys take cover keep an eye on yeah Yeah, well, I like people that are like if who's the go-to experts on eclipse it would be us and
Yeah. These are the guys. Angie gave us a shirt. These are the guys we want to hear from. It's from NASA. It's from NASA. Yeah. Yeah. So I have a shirt from NASA. So, I mean, if me just wearing this shirt and y'all look like buffoons. Those glasses look like they came in a Happy Meal, dude. This is the biggest event of our entire lives. He wears a Braves uniform that clips like it's your team. Like he goes...
Let me get some promo in for the Braves, dude. I went to the game this weekend, dude. He has solar eclipse and might as well all my Braves gear. Oh, you've doubled up. Yeah, that's the thing. Oh, doubled up is tough. I don't see that. I've been avoiding that for a while. Doubling up is tough. I'm glad you said that because I'll go Cardinals, and I got a lot of athletic stuff, but I rarely go –
up and down. Yeah. Because then you look like... I was going to wear the pants, but they made me take them off too. That would have been committing. This weekend, we were at Sacramento, where the Sacramento Kings play. And so when we go to these places, I like to wear a jacket, like a Kings jacket. We always go into the team stops to see if we can get something. They had the best... You know, I always get asked what city...
is is your favorite that is like would be a surprise sacramento's probably up there now i never hear about sacramento it's awesome dude they have they have trees downtown so like you're downtown and there's just like a lot of trees sequoias that's where the sequoias are yeah that's how low the bar is for california there's trees in the city well it's just such a cool look how
Instead of, you know, that's what I mean. Oh, like in the downtown area. Like in the downtown area. So it'd be like downtown Nashville. If you looked at the skyline and you just saw, like, it looked like a city was built in between trees. Okay. And so we go, awesome show. Everybody's wearing King stuff. Nick, no Vicky, he's out. Nick gets top to bottom.
Pants. He's wearing the warm-up stuff that they would wear. So Sacramento Pants things. Nick goes out, and Nick's a Celtics fan. The Kings play the Celtics. They're playing on that day we're there in Boston, obviously. And so they lose, I mean, right before the show starts. They're in a heartbreaker. They were down 19, and they came back and lost by one in Boston. Yeah.
And so Nick's a Celtics fan. You're like, you're wearing all King stuff. Just who cares? Yeah. He can't not say it. Take the night off. He comes out. He goes, ah, Sacramento. How's everything going? Sacramento Kings. He goes, I'm a Celtics fan. And I mean, the booze. It was just, I mean, it was 17,000 people.
They just lost. They're trying to make it to playoffs. It's a really crunch time of a situation. Nick went and shot on their home court. I mean, all this stuff. And also Sacramento has nothing else. They have the Kings. Yeah, they don't have any other sports franchises. I love those cities where like they have one. They need it. And they're like the baseball team, right? Yeah.
They are? No, the Oakland A's are going to go play there. For a couple years. A couple years. Yeah. They're going to play in their minor league team before they go to Vegas. They're going to play in a stadium smaller than the one we're in right now probably. Yeah.
Yeah. There's some big games here. There's Mustangs. Greg's great because you know how Kramer, when Jerry said, you want to go do, and he's like, yeah. He's like, I could have said pretty much anything there. I messaged Greg, said, hey, you want to go to Paducah, look at the eclipse with us? Gave no details. He's like, yeah, I'm in. Yeah, man, man. To the point where I thought, oh, Laura's already reached out to him, and he's just like, no, man, I'm committed to this podcast.
And that was it. It was nothing else. You say be there, I'll be there. He's like, I'm already here. No one knew. No one knew besides me that he was even, because I thought Laura talked to him. And then somebody said, I just heard Greg Warren on the radio saying he's going to go watch the eclipse with you guys. Greg Warren's coming? I'm like, yeah.
I guess he is. Plugging it. I needed to be convinced. I think Laura texted, Abigail texted. I was like, and then. I talked to you. And then I was like, oh, it's a, I go, I just said, whatever. He had to explain to you what the eclipse is first. Yeah. Before you committed. You did. Yeah. You took it like, it's like a gene fad.
Like we were trying to be like, well, these are the jeans everybody's wearing. You're like, I don't know if I get why would I buy those jeans. And that's how you handled this. I never heard about the eclipse before Laura asked me about it. I didn't know that was happening. Have you heard of an eclipse? I saw the last one. Not the Mitsubishi eclipse. No. Nice. Eclipse the rapper. Oh.
All right, who's going to explain it? Which one of the five of us is going to explain it scientifically? You don't know what it is. You, John, because you don't know what it is. What is it? Well, so this is the moon going in front of the sun. So we're on Earth. Start there. I usually only do the moon behind the sun. But when the moon— That's usually when I go out. But I thought if it's in the middle— Yeah, I do a moon behind the sun. I do that every year. One of them can't happen.
How does that happen? Does the moon go behind the sun? The moon never just goes. How big would that be if that happened? We'd be dead way before that. That would have been like, let's all stay home. That'd be a bad event. That'd be get right with God. Whatever you need to do. Talk to your family. The moon should go. Occasionally just be like, I'm going to duck behind. Just keep us on our toes a bit. But when the moon is not full, it's the earth, moon, sun.
Right? Oh, yeah. Why is the moon like this sometimes? Well, I was about to say... It's on the other side of the Earth. A lunar eclipse is when the Earth is between the moon and the sun, right? Yes. But what is it when it's just not full? Like, isn't that also the Earth blocking? That's what I was asking. Yeah, those are the phases of the moon. I guess I'm asking, what's the difference? Because it looks like that now, but...
the opposite because it looks like the moon is blocking the sun I understand this one I don't understand a lunar eclipse as opposed to just the regular he's Greg's out I'm done Greg's comedy is different he can't go I
I just looked at it. When y'all see Greg this weekend, if he's not looking right at you, you know why. The only thing I told myself doing this podcast is don't look at it. He's going to be on stage. He's looking off to the side. He's like, he doesn't know where most of the people are sitting. Just a crescent shape in your eyeball. Did you know they're selling fake eyeglasses out there? Really? Fake. There's fake eclipse glasses. Can you think of a bigger scumbag in the world that's out there dealing...
Fake. Nick Novicki after the launch. All right, I guess we're going to take those glasses from Greg. Wait, you guys, is that what that was? Yeah, that was the whole joke. That was a joke? Yeah, the joke. That's not a funny joke, Nick. Yeah, we got it. Those are... Why are yours the only ones that are different? No, you can tell when they're fake. Your glasses are the only ones that are different.
It says on the glasses, limit continuous use to three minutes or use intermittently for several hours. Where'd you get your glasses from? John Chris. Oh, dude, don't put me on that. The Great North American Eclipse, Knox County, Indiana. These are... I tried to get some at Cracker Barrel today and they were out. I didn't know if you guys would have enough. Yeah, you can buy them at Cracker Barrel. They're supposed to say approved ISO certified on them. These are like from a Happy Meal. Did you know that... I feel it's getting a little dark. Yeah. Oh, I...
Yeah. Starting to, man. Starting to. We're only a few minutes away from totality. Yeah, what time is it? It's 1.45. We're 15 minutes away. All right, but if you said... I mean, it's like... Yeah, this looks like how your moon would look if you look up. But the opposite. I know, but yes, but it's the sun. But if you've seen this before... The sun is the moon. Yeah, like the Mac Tonight guy, the McDonald's guy with the... Yeah. Wait, but if you said the full... The fun part is hearing the animals. You hear animals...
It's not fun for me, man. No, it's PTSD. There's a bird that flew out there. I don't know if he knows. They'll land, supposedly. I think the animals know a couple days before it happens. But imagine if you were before... You know, they say if a volcano is about to erupt, the animals will start to just run away from it. It's like they feel it in their bones or something. Well, you know, they had an earthquake in... New York. New Jersey. New Jersey. And then...
I saw, like, one thing about, like, a dog, and you see the dog, like, before the family even starts yelling, the dog's like... He already knows. He already knows, just a little bit before. The birds are fun. I mean, it is crazy. It's getting dark. I... Some people, like, act like this is not a big deal. That's what I did earlier. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, he said on the podcast. Oh, yeah, that's right. Why do you not...
I just said it was like people crying. How much do you have going on? That's what it is, Aaron. How much do you have going on that you go, oh, gosh, an eclipse. I got to deal with that right now. I can't. What do you want to do? Be on a phone call right now? Do you think people are on the phone right now? Probably. You think there's people that are sending an email at 2.02 p.m. and just to let the person know I was inside?
Yeah, I don't care about stupid things like the eclipse. I mean, don't you think the amazing part is that we can predict exactly when it's going to happen? Just like the math of it all? Yeah. Trigonometry. They did just slightly change it, though. Yeah. Did they win this morning? Like last week. Really? There's parts of Missouri now that they said was going to be in it that are now you're going to have to move a little bit. Can you imagine if you had a hotel booked? And Nashville is now getting it in totality. They just announced it.
No, it is 98. They did announce. We didn't come all the way here and I didn't tell anybody. It is. No. Well, they announced it when we left. It's 98%. I think 95. 95. Lydia? 95. She's in the news, so we have a news person that knows the exact answer. Memphis is 97. It's not quite as big a deal. Like, it happens a lot, but it happens over water most of the time.
Because the world is 70% water. I don't know if I believe that. Nate, I did the research on that. I didn't show up. We're in a lot of land right here, Greg. I'm just saying. The dumbest thing I've ever heard is 70% of water. 70% of the world is water, Nate. You're out of your mind.
Nate, I did the research. How much water do you think's in your body? Are you doubting me on those fake sunglasses things? 10% maybe. 10% maybe water. Because if you doubt me on this, you probably doubt me on the dog story. And that was true. I don't know. I don't. I never believed the dog story. Where did he bite you at? Yeah. I think he was on the arm. Did he think you were... Is it because you look like a mailman? I mean, I'd say I'm friendly like a mailman. And I'm proud of that. I don't...
How many eclipses do y'all think happened this century? I got the number here. 24. What does that say? This is over worldwide. Over land or over water? No, anywhere. Anywhere, it's every 18 months. Anywhere, it's every 18 months. There's a Bible prophecy about it. So, 2,000. 150. In 100 years? This century, 24 years. 224 solar eclipses. On Earth.
uh yeah yeah i mean a few more yeah i think all right do venus when earth you don't mean i'm gonna go with uh eight yeah i think venus gets eight you think they care in venus as much as we do yeah i got the stats they have more moons right so it probably happens more often there's a couple of planets that don't have eclipses because they don't have moons i got it here somewhere
If anybody cares. But they have the sun. Jupiter has like over 100 moons now, doesn't it? Oh, Venus has none. They don't have a moon. Oh, they don't? Oh, then they're probably super jealous. So is Venus just light all the time? I guess, but we'll see it once it gets total. Venus? Yeah, we'll see Venus once it gets totality because it's near the sun. Can you look at it when it's totality? Can you look without your sunglasses? Oh, yeah, you can. You can. For two minutes. I'm not going to, but I am. Yeah, I am.
Really? I'm going to risk it. While it's completely dark? Crazy, man. I'll have it on standby. 150. It's definitely getting dark. You guys heard about the Bailey's beads? Nope. Like right before it happens, you get a lot of sparkling on the edge of the sun. It comes from the crater. That doesn't impress Aaron. He's not impressed by it. I just don't think I'll cry when it happens. That's all I'm saying. Did you book appointments during it? No.
You go, are you going to a 145 movie? Yeah. Well, what did you say the main one was? The biggest one is the Get Right With God one. What was that one called? The Rapture. Oh, yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. One of them is like, we got to get right with God. This is like, do we just say a little prayer? Oh, no, that was your theory of the sun going between the moon and the earth. Get right with God, yeah. So this one, maybe we'll just...
All right, so what about this? Hey, let me ask you this, though. If this is the rapture, are y'all too fine finishing this podcast out? Yeah, man. I'm good, man. Y'all wrap it up for us, right? Just wrap it up. Yeah. Just you and Greg. Yeah. There's going to be some changes. Yeah, yeah. There's going to be some changes. You're not even going to mention this anymore. There's going to be some changes in the mainland. Welcome to Gregland. Just like that. Let me give you a list of sponsors. Yeah. Dude, do the ad reads still?
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We'll be here. How crazy is this, though? I think. The sun's 400 times bigger than the moon, but the sun is 400 times further away from the Earth than the moon, so that's what makes it look like the same size. Right. Oh, come on, Greg. I did... Yeah, so it's so...
It shouldn't be a big deal. It should be just a little speck. Because it's so far, that's why it looks like they're even. Because the sun's so far away. It's so much bigger, but it's so much further away. It only has that amount of sun, but it's still fully light.
It's almost pretty powerful, dude. Yeah. It really gets, it really gets it going. That's why Nashville, they're not even going to know anything happened. 95%. What if you were, before this, you knew what this was, let's say the 1800s. No. What did you think was happening? No, I read this thing, Columbus.
So Christopher Columbus lands in Jamaica. Mark that off. Is that one of your deals? Yeah. I'm not used to people doing research. Go ahead and tell it. I'm showing up to Paducah with nothing on my hands. I appreciate it. You send me a message, you say Paducah eclipse, I'm not showing up with nothing. You're right. Three generations from Christopher Columbus. He heard this word of mouth. My God.
My great-grandfather. No, so Columbus is in Jamaica, and correct me if I'm wrong here, Bates, and he's stranded in Jamaica, and the natives at first are real nice to him. It's like a bit. They're taking care of him, and they're feeding him and his troops, but they get sick of him. He's there for a long time, and he knew there was going to be an eclipse, so...
The eclipse happened. He told them that was God's way of punishing them for not giving him food, and they gave him food again. Look how mad Brian is for stepping on that. No, no, no. I'm glad. Somebody else. That was going to be his closer. No, sorry. No, no, no. We were going to do it so much later. How did Columbus know that the eclipse was going to happen? Science. Science.
Yeah, he was doing it. I know you don't believe me. They didn't have science back then, dude. No way. They didn't have science. They didn't have science back then. Yeah, well, I mean, it is. If you knew so much about eclipses, how could you get stranded in Jamaica would be my question. That's true. And how did he think he had already gone around the globe? If he thought the Earth was a different size than it actually is. But he still had the trigonometry. What did he find out? Christopher Columbus, you're like, he made two circles around the Gulf of Mexico and that's all he did.
What if that really came? That's what we ended up finding out. He goes, this guy's out of his mind. Well, he also was kind of out of his mind. Now that I didn't think of this, he thought he was God for a while. Oh, really? Yeah, he had like a Koresh type. Not that I'm aware of. He had like a Koresh thing going on. But yeah, he was tricking the natives. And that was a lunar eclipse.
Oh, it was? Yeah, he told them the blood would... See, man, you... The moon would turn red. See, you added something to this, man. Hey, we got to be prepared. If we're taking this over, this is the energy we need. It is starting to get dark. I feel it. It's definitely starting to get darker. There was also a battle. I think I talked about this a couple weeks ago. A five-year battle between...
two warring tribes and when a solar eclipse happened they both freaked out so much they put down their swords and like this is god telling us we need to make peace really and they just stopped it and there's been peace ever since yeah i think i'm gonna make some phone calls before you think in yeah in war yeah you know in the war areas ukraine and russia you think they're they probably lay it down right now man that'd be hard to say
Do you think crime goes down during the eclipse? Like, would you... If you're a criminal in the middle of doing it, are you like... You still have to go like... Yeah, let's stop this. I think it's the perfect time to steal some stuff, to be honest with you. It could be. And if you've seen... If you're older and seen... This is your 15th eclipse and you don't even care anymore. Yeah, man. In Aught 7, they knocked over a Woolworths. Yeah. It was hard for us to get you to come out here because you... Dude.
Been there, done that. You're like, I think the last one was a couple weeks ago. He barely remembers time anymore. That's another reason I'm glad you're with us. I'm no longer the old guy when you're with us. I mean, you still are, but... You still are. Just not the oldest. So the eclipse here in Paducah actually happens at 2-0-0-50. So almost 2-0-1. So we have about four minutes? Four minutes before. Four minutes, three minutes. I feel like if it was right now...
I would be like, something's happening. Oh, yeah. Like, you had no idea what was going on. Look at this. I would be like, something's going on. Oh, me too. It would have taken me another three minutes. Maybe another right now. Yeah, I would be like, what's up? Yeah. What about these lights right here? Aaron, if I found out there's an open mic going on right now, would you go do it? Of course, dude. You can get me up. Oh, no, I can get you up. They would do it on the...
Like who goes up during the – Oh, yeah. And doesn't address it because right before he goes up, he goes, wouldn't it be funny if I don't address it when I'm doing it? That's what a comic would say. I did an open mic in Nashville years ago, full-on crazy incident. A guy with a kilt went insane. It was like a 30-minute disruption, and I was up next.
and I was so young into comedy I just went up and didn't address it at all. I was like, I don't even know what I would do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd do that now. Yeah. So this is called The Great American Eclipse because so many people are in the path. The one from seven years ago, 12 million people lived in it. This one, 31 million people live in the path. Wow. I do like though, we could have stayed in Nashville.
It'd be like this right here. Now I can tell. You don't think it'd be completely dark. No, I don't. It says 98%. Someone said that's 95%. I bet this is 95% right now. Yeah, it's worth it for that last 5%. Yeah. Should we turn these lights off?
Maybe. Is it going to look crazy on the camera if they get turned off? See what it looks like? Yeah, we're going to look and see. Okay, we're totally done. No, I can tell you. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, it looks about 6.30 p.m. right now. But it's not. Yeah, weird 6.30. It's a weird 6.30. Yeah, they say something about the shadows are sharper, I think, is what it is. Whatever y'all need to do for the power to look good. Look at your shadow. Look, your shadow is very... Mine's still pretty...
Huh? Lobbish. Yours is? Yeah, I don't know. I think that's you. That's what I'm saying. I want to be, you would want to be in the guy in history that knows about it, but other people don't know about it. Then the tricks you can play. Dude, you could. That's the best. I brought these two. This is another way to look at it. You're supposed to.
All right. It's not working. You hold a note card and you hold that up. It's got a pinhole in it. Right. Okay. And it's said to, maybe because it's two, now it's probably two. I'll have to wait until it gets more sunlight. It's supposed to be able to see it through there. Oh, that's kind of cool. That is scary. Thank you for coming out tonight.
You made it like you brought that, like, you're like, I went to the Eclipse store and brought these. You're like, the no park? I brought one for everyone. Thanks, man. That's really sweet, Brian. It doesn't work, but we'll wait until later. It's on the edge. I don't think you even need your glasses anymore. Huh?
I would think something's happening. Something's happening. Oh, yeah, dude. But I wouldn't have any context to explain. Oh, man. I'm like you, man. Right about now, I'd be like, hey, man. I would be calling my parents. Yeah.
There's just a little sliver of the sun still visible. It looks like, well, it's dark. If you look back that way, it's dark. There's a plane. So it was interesting to see. There was a flight. You think that's that Delta flight? So there was a Delta flight. That might be it. Could be. And there was a Delta flight that was flying. People booked it to fly the plane.
They're flying the whole time. Flying with it in darkness. Everybody's on it to see the eclipse. Aaron's trying to get to a week. Is that Venus right there? Aaron's on the way back. I think that is Venus. That's Venus right there, yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. I see Venus all the time. That's one other point. Are you guys going no sunglasses now? I'm going to run to the bathroom real fast, and I'll be right back. No, pace, pace. Oh, you can see the shape of the moon now.
I mean, look at it. It's crazy. Wow. It's crazy. And when it finally gets fully dark. Oh, here it goes, man. If you're listening at home, it's getting dark. It's getting dark. It's completely over. Can you get it with the camera? Wow. Oh, you got a camera. All right. There it is. They know what they're doing. It looks so close. It's complete. It looks insane. If you're at home and you're going like, what is an eclipse? Yeah. Nate, describe it. Yeah. It looks like...
The thing you were talking about, the fire coming out of it. Bailey's beads? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the moon is dead center of the sun. Do you hear crickets? Chirp, chirp. Chirp, chirp. Hear the birds chirping like it's the morning. Yeah.
Fireworks. We're still in Kentucky. Yeah, we are in Paducah. Happy New Year, brother! You still got any left over? Oh, I got them, bro. What if it was a SWAT raid and this would be a good time to do it because they would go, you know, they're like, well, they're not going to think we're going to come to... Yeah. I think that was that Delta plane, man. They put us on the side where all our backs are to it. There's two planes...
And there's another one there. And they're flying there. That is... Yeah, you hear... It looks more like a rock. It looks more like a rock than, like, perfect round. Yeah. I mean, really crazy. I know we're not talking, but... What's Dusty doing right now? You know, if you put your glasses on, you can't even see it. Yeah, yeah. You can't even see it. I tried to look earlier. Dusty's underground right now. Yeah. No, I know. It's... Yeah. Yeah.
I do think you see Venus. If that's Venus, you see... Okay, yeah, with the glasses, you can't see anything. The star. It's the star. That one single star. Oh, I thought that was the Delta plane, man. It's just hovering. It's not moving. Yeah. I really thought that was the... You think if you're on that Delta plane, you're hoping the pilots, you're like, I hope they're not looking at it. Yeah. You know? Like, you see them looking back, and you feel your stuff start veering a little bit. But it's only visible out of one side.
Here he comes. Oh, it depends on how they're going. It's moving away. Oh, it's moving away. Is the sunglasses on? I feel like it's going backwards. Glasses up. Oh, it's going the wrong direction. Yeah. I'll tell you what, it felt like the sun did a... That is... I mean, the precision. Don't look at it. You can't look at it anymore. Don't look at it anymore. No, but I looked at it before when it was like that, man. Yeah. You okay? I don't know. When does it kick in? The next day.
That's what they said. The next day, I'll be blind? That is Venus. Look, Venus is going away. I'm going to see some stuff today, man. We saw Venus. Yep. How about that? And then it's just daytime again. Wow. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. That's awesome, man. Man, I believe it. So this one, you're already over it. It's not done yet. I mean, Aaron's got to call it 205. You put the glasses on, it's barely a sliver, and you're still, you're just, you're through. Guys got to get to that open mic. Yeah. Yeah.
Because you think, Aaron, in normal life right now, you would be done pumping gas and then go in the store. Like maybe you would have stayed at your truck just because you'd been like, look at that. And then once it clicked, you go inside and then be frustrated that the guy's outside looking and you're not inside. Let's go. And so do you think you would eat the donuts? You'd eat one pack and then go, I'm not paying for both these packs. Yeah.
I'll pay for one pack. I'll tell you what, I'd already be back inside by now. Oh, yeah. For sure, yeah, if I were just at home. I'd go, all right. How do you gasp at the iPhone and then this? Which one do you use more often? The sun. I know, but this is just, yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. The sun is a great one. Much more often. Yeah, the sun's involved. Yeah, yeah. It's...
It's just... It is amazing. I don't want to sound like I'm... This is pretty cool right here. Yeah. That is amazing. This is a weird... Yeah. This is not your normal dusk. This is your favorite part of the eclipse. I think so. Yeah. The wind. The guys being together. Yeah. What's unique to me is for some reason everybody thinks they need to be... What's unique about an eclipse? Go ahead. Yeah.
You can't set him up like that, Joe. He's got to get into the comments. Tell me what to do. What I think is unique... Yeah, thank you. What I think is unique is everybody...
They need an open field to see. It's up there. You could be, you don't, everybody's like in an open field to see it. You want to be out in it. You want to be out in it. Where do you want to be? In the trees? But you could be down in your house and just look. What? In the front yard? Out the window? It's up there. That's where it is. So I know, I know. What? We need this whole field. John wants to be somewhere where people recognize him. Yeah.
We could have done this from Chick-fil-A, guys. No one's looking at the eclipse. Is that John Crist? Look at me. Look at me.
I mean, it's still like... Yeah. It's like just a sliver of sun. Yeah, it goes for like another couple hours. It does? As it gradually expands back out. Or at least another hour and a half. Yeah. So it's going to be weird for another hour and a half? We're in the eclipse for... It'll just be this. Yeah. Yeah, when we were leaving, it was kind of doing it. A little chilly. But the total... It'll gradually get brighter. I think it's 3 o'clock is when Maine... 3 o'clock Eastern.
Two o'clock or around there is when Maine sees the last total in the country. And they're the last ones. Yeah. And then it's just in the ocean. Out in the ocean. Out in the ocean. You know how if, when people see like a UFO, then like 50 years later, like maybe I didn't see it. Yeah. You know, they're like, they like, all right. When we like in 10 years, we'll be like,
No, I'm pretty sure. You're like, nah, it didn't happen. I doubt all kinds of stuff. Thank you. When I think of a joke, I'm like, man, maybe I got that. Did that really happen? You were telling a story, you change it so it works on stage, and you tell it enough times, you start to just believe that that's really what happened.
You know? Yes. You know what I'm talking about? My whole act. What? You change a story? You change it to make it work on stage or something. Yeah. You combine two people into one or something like that. Yeah. And you tell it enough times. That just becomes the memory. I got, I got, I got, it was a bad deal for me on that, that whole combining two people into one. But Bigley in one of his big specials, I introduced him to his wife.
I introduced Mike Birbiglia to his wife. And he had to combine two people. So he said, this guy, Andy introduced him to his wife. And it was, it was me.
I did. Because he had more story with Andy than you. I don't know, maybe you like Andy better or something, man. I introduced him to his wife, and I'm watching the thing. He didn't tell me about this. He's like, yeah, and then my friend Andy introduced him, and I'm like, well, you got to be kidding me. I paid for this. Are they still together? Yeah. But did he have more with Andy? Like, does Andy in the act more, where you were just not enough in the story to...
Yeah, I think Andy was probably the more, there was something about a car accident. Yeah, yeah. He would have had to have introduced you in some other way first. Yeah. Not to defend Birbiglia. I was a minor character. I was a minor character. Yeah, you were just not enough that you go, I mean, that's like my McDonald's. Louis Gomez? Louis Gomez took a bite out of Louis' burger. It was soda. I told soda to take a bite.
And because I was my idea for the prank. But then I told Soder, I go take a bite because he was like sitting next to him. And then so he took a bite of the burger and then Soder's. Yeah. Cut out of it at the joke. I put him in the joke.
But when I think of that story, I don't think, I know Soder did it. Yeah. I just did it as, just on stage, you're like, you can't be mentioning too many. All kinds of other details. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried it and I would say it. So my buddy, you know, and then you're just like, I just need to say I took it and get to the point. Because the point of it, you got to look at the story and be like, does the point involve that?
And it doesn't. The point of it is him thinking they did it. No extraneous characters or whatever. But they say in a memory, if it's a story from a childhood, you are remembering your last time you told it. So you're not remembering the event. You're remembering the last time you told it. That's how your memory works. So if you tell it enough, it's like that really happened, but it didn't happen. Telephone effect or whatever. Yeah.
It's Venus, man. Well, there's a plane that's going that way. I fell for that already. It's Venus. No, no, there's a plane going that way. It is crazy to see all the planes flying. If you're on the wrong side, it's like the Grand Canyon. You're like, look out over your left. You see the Grand Canyon. You're on the right. You're like, well, I got nothing. Yeah, they shouldn't even announce that when you do that. They still do that? I think so. They should just go like,
You know, because then it feels, I mean, everybody on the other side is like, man. Or just fly through the middle of it. Give everybody a good view. Yeah. Give everybody a good view. Do a little diversion. It's big enough. Yeah. That's right. It's huge. The Vegas landing is like that. If you're on the left, you can see the whole strip. If you're on the right, you can see nothing. Yeah. Can you imagine the guy on the right for the first time saying, isn't this city a big deal at all? Yeah. This place stinks. So the next-
The next eclipse, do you know, Greg? 2045? 44. 44. You're both right. There's one in 45, too. 45, you're going to have to go to Portland, or you're going to go to Oregon or the Pacific. I looked into it probably too much. Go ahead. I mean, we both got it, though, right? Our pod's going to be huge by then. Our pod's going to be huge by then. Is it on New Year's or something? How are they both right? Well, it depends.
20 years. We're talking about total eclipse. Alaska gets one in 2033. Ooh. Yeah, but not total? No, total, but Alaska's the only one that gets it. Yeah, it's not kind of. And then one in 2044, it's just three states, Montana and the Dakotas that get it. That's good for them because I don't think they've had. No. We've gotten most of it. They didn't even get this one, right? And I do think we're done. I think, like, I don't think I would go to that one because I think you'd be like, you know, I've done two of them. I really remember both of them.
We went all out. We went all out for that second one. I'll tell you, the one in Nashville, though, got way darker. Did it? Look, if we can... I have a video of me hitting a golf ball during it. I will have to find that video. If we find it, we'll put it in right here, and you can see how dark it went. You posted it online, so we should be able to find it. Yeah, but it was...
Completely dark. Because I hit a tee-up, hit a golf ball. You heard crickets. You heard... It was insane. It was insane. It could be that we're on an artificial field. Yeah. Nate's dad said that there would be artificial crickets.
But the one in 2045 goes all across the whole country. Starts in California, goes all the way down to Miami. Oh, really? So that's a good one. In 45. 2045, yeah. Yeah. Do you think I'll be around for that one, Greg? Yeah, y'all will be. Yeah, 20 years. I mean, you'll be, yeah, I'll be 65. Yeah, you'll be Brian's age. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be almost caught up to y'all now. I'll be there. Yeah.
Greg, you'd be plugging along. I'd be 75. 75 on the road. Oh, yeah, man. I'll be more than likely on a cruise ship somewhere. Brian, what is supposed to happen with this note card? Because you seem pretty upset. I mean, you were excited to bring them out. I think you were supposed to do it a while ago. Did you spend more money because they put the hole in the note card? No, I did that myself. I could afford them to do it. I did it myself. Where's the hole? No, if you held it up, it looks like somebody's holding a note card over a...
over a black tablecloth. I don't think your hole is big enough. They said a pinhole. That's definitely a pinhole. Pins have gotten so much bigger these days. No, that's a pinhole. The other thing they said, take your fingers and do like this, and then you would somehow see the church. Yeah, this is the church. See the eclipse. Yeah, these are all the people. What do you see? You're supposed to see the silhouette. Yeah. I don't know. You can just look up and see it. Something wrong.
What if you didn't have glasses? How is it fully light though right now? Well, I think it's mostly... It's not fully. It's still got... Still weird shadows. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's just a little thumbnail of the sun still, but, you know, the sun gets some work done. eBay Motors is here for the ride. Remember when you first saw the potential?
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There's a city in Illinois that got both full-time eclipses. Oh, really? They got two. It's like an X. Oh, it's right in the center. What's going on there right now? Both full-time eclipses? Both total eclipses. Not like they work full-time. You mean like the last one and this one? Yeah. 17 and this one? Yeah. Because I read something that said the exact spot won't get a total eclipse, but once every 375 years.
But then I sort of read what you said. According to this. Who even knows that? No, I think there's, because I saw it. 375. No, my bad. I got to be loyal to you. Do they ever? Yeah, we're going to be in this together. When they say stuff like that, like they won't get it for another 375 years, do they ever go, do they ever show documentation of someone going, this won't happen again until 2024? Yeah.
Like, do you know what I mean? Like when they, when they say, well, like, like they're saying 375. So the next one won't be for 375 years. So, I mean, in 375 years, are, did they like, we called this eclipse. Are they calling them that far ahead? I think so. I think you can just call them in theory. You can just call them forever.
How in theory? Indefinitely. Because you just know what's happening? Yeah, because you just know. You can predict the movement of everything. But did you read this, Bates? I don't want to take it from you. I don't know. Tell me. The moon is getting an inch farther from the earth every year. Good. So at some point, there won't be any eclipses. It'll be too far. You're going to get partial. It'll be behind it? That's what you're saying. Yeah.
Eventually it's going behind it. How does it keep going? I don't know how to tell you. It's not going behind it. Greg, if it keeps moving an inch, I think at some point it's got to get behind it. I guess in a philosophical way, you're probably right. Philosophical way? You're telling me it's going an inch? Is the sun moving? No, the sun stays still. The sun stays still. The moon is moving. We're all moving. But wouldn't it hit it? No, we're going around it.
I think the moon's going around us. Yeah, but we're going around the sun. Around the sun, yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. And the moon. So the sun is moving. Why do you think everybody gets a moon but not a sun? The sun's cruising. Yeah. But we're going around it. Right, so it's not moving relative to us, but it's, I mean, it's going pretty fast through space. Yeah, how they time that?
And the sun looks like the same on all sides, so how do they know it's moving? Well, you got an assistant coach with a... Yeah. Larry, what'd you get? Yeah.
I tell you what, we are on a football field. We could all run a 40. I'll do it. Yeah. I'll run a 40. I wore tennis shoes just in case we would. Yeah, I'll run a 40. It won't be good. Wait, do you think the big eclipse, like marketing back in 2017, they were like, hey, another one's coming in a couple years. They were like, hey. Shh.
Like, there could be another one next year, but they're like, hey, say it's not for a thousand years. And now look at us. Yeah, they don't release it. We took the buzz. We're out here. They're like, hey, we got another one actually coming up next year. Hey, let's try to. No, no, there's going to be another one. Would you shut up? Yeah. You know how much money we got invested in these glasses? Yeah. A fake eclipse. Fake glasses. Because the last one, we didn't know about another one. Right? Right.
They weren't like, oh, there's another one in a couple years. I didn't know. They told it. They knew it was going to happen. Yeah, they said it. But you're not thinking that far ahead. I mean, that's seven years later. Yeah, they tell you. Nobody thinks that far ahead. You can't make this one. There's a video clip. There was an eclipse in the 70s or 80s, and there's a newscaster, and he signs off, and he says, the next eclipse is coming in 2017. May it shine on a world of peace or something. And that didn't happen. But they predicted it that far out.
When did he say that? 70s or 80s, I think. Oh, yeah. The Mayans predicted one that happened in 1991. No way. Yeah. They knew the math. They probably predicted a million old. I think that's like, you know what I mean? We don't talk about their misses. Yeah, and they go, they also said 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95. It's like the Stephen A. Smith of a car.
I remember my brother told me, beer pong in college, you just call every shot. You call your shot every time. Nobody remembers the ones that you missed. But when you get it, they're like, oh my gosh. I think Babe Ruth did that. I think so. I think he did that a bunch of times. His teammates are like, yeah, man, every inning, every bat. There's a big debate of whether that actually happened because there's no video of it.
It's all just anecdotal. 1800s. 1920s, but yeah. I think it was a picture. Like a photo? Yeah, what video are they having back there? That's what I'm saying. So it's all, there's some debate whether they actually called the shot. Yeah.
I'm 55, John. There's two? No, I thought that was a joke between them. I don't know about this joke. What? That he's old. He said I was at the bed, Ruth. What are your eyes not working? I mean, look over here. He looked at the eclipse too much. He goes, out of your mind, the one guy that stared at the sun with no glasses? He saw the last one in 1983? Yeah.
Man, you guys, so tomorrow's when it kicks in, the blindness? Yeah, you go to bed tonight, you'll be fine, and then you wake up tomorrow. Is that what they say? Mm-hmm. Oh, really? You looked at it? I think I did. I don't know. I did. We're going to find out tomorrow. You'll be all right. We'll give you an idea. What are you seeing right now? Huh? I know. I see all you guys. He's lost his hearing, too. That's the cauliflower. So you would really go, if you stared at it the whole time, you'd wake up tomorrow, you'd be blind. I would say so.
But what if you stared at the regular sun? You'd be in trouble, for sure. How? There was a woman who had like a crescent-shaped burn on her eyeballs from the last one. Don't tell. There's teenagers that'll think that's cool to have a crescent-shaped burn on their eyeballs. You used to look at the sun all the time as a kid, though. Yeah, you'd see how long you could stare at it. Yeah, you'd see how long you could look at it. Yeah, I mean, it's got to be... 30, 40 seconds, you know? God. Yeah. Maybe not that long, but... Yeah. Yeah.
There was a couple of references to eclipses even in the Bible. Do you know that, John? Let's not do this. Well, I bet there was. Yeah, I would think there would be.
I'm just saying you're, you know the Bible. Yeah. No, there is. I watched a couple of conspiracies on TikTok. These weren't even conspiracy videos I watched. Just ones in the Old Testament, ones in the New Testament. Yeah. Joshua asked God to stop the sun. Put the sun, put the moon in front of the sun, right? I don't know if that was specific, but anyway, it happened. And they think maybe that was an eclipse. They can look. Dad knows. Yeah.
Move the sun back. Yeah. Because the day wouldn't be longer so they could fight in the war, right? Yeah. Maybe they knew about something before it happened. Like Columbus? Yeah. And then I met you a few weeks ago when Jesus was crucified. It got dark for like three hours and there was an eclipse in 33 AD. Really? Oh, really? So who knows? Who knows? Who knows?
I don't think you follow that up with who knows. I think it's the opposite of who knows. You're right. You're right. You look at the Bible, but, you know, what do they know? I do have a couple of these comments. If we can't get to all of them, I'd like to read. Well, we can start now that the eclipse is...
I'm glad we did this. I hope I didn't feel like I was... Well, the fact that you said that is weird. You know what? I'll look back on it. I'm glad we did it. I almost didn't come to that. I guess I'm glad I came. You were already here. Yeah, I got down a little early. I thought there was going to be big traffic and I was going to be late for the eclipse and all that kind of stuff. How long drive is it to St. Louis? Three hours. Oh, that's not bad. Not bad at all.
Would you like, you'd like us to meet more in Paducah for this podcast with you? Yeah, I wouldn't mind if we did if you're here. Yeah. Is this the first time on the road? Uh, yeah. Zany's. Well, yeah. Yeah, this is, but this is, yeah, this is the first podcast really on the road outside. Yeah. Yeah.
Outside of Nashville. What do we have to do to impress Weber? An earthquake or something? What do you think about earthquakes? Do you actually enjoy it? I've never felt an earthquake. Do you feel like it's a massage and you go, oh, I wish more of that happened? He mentioned volcano. I think he'd be impressed by that. A volcano would blow my mind. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we'll go do one in a hurricane. I don't care. How many eclipses have you seen? This is the second one. Okay. Yeah. One was enough.
Well, the first one he said he wasn't impressed with. I think I remember. Dude, the first one got completely dark. All I said was that I didn't become overcome with emotion the first time and cry because I saw people crying when it happened. Where did you see people cry? I saw online videos of people crying. That's all. No one cried. That's a lunatic song. I cried a little bit because that dog bit me. Yeah. Well, yeah.
Did you not get to enjoy it? Because a dog... Did a dog really bite you? He did bite me, but it was like in this period. Like, it was still going on, but not the total. Yeah. It was a little closer to the total. And I was just kind of walking back, and the dog just walked up and bit me. Yeah. And what'd they say? Nothing? They kind of weren't all that... They were like... Like...
Did you tell me, I fought for y'all's freedom? Because it's the hippies and you were in Vietnam? Vietnam. I don't think we were fighting for our freedom in Vietnam. I don't know. Weren't they against the, one of the hippies against the, they were against it. That's what I mean. They were. A lot of them were there. Fighting for our freedom. I wasn't. I was born around Vietnam. I did, you know, I went to the military academy for a year. So yeah, I mean.
Yeah. Yeah, Nate. Dropped out. Yeah. Yeah. Took a computer class. Huh? You took a computer class there. I did. Did I mention that on the podcast? Yeah, because Nate doesn't believe. I don't believe that you had computers back then. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. I do remember a computer. I remember that I remember you had to go to the computer lab to do your papers. You know, everybody didn't have laptops. Yeah. And the labs would regularly like.
there'd be a problem and you'd lose your paper. I remember losing a paper one time and had to do it over. It was real stressful. There was no cloud back then. No. No. And for the record, Greg and I were talking through Facebook Messenger and I said, hey, man, here's my phone number. I send him my phone number and I'm like, you know, we can text when we get there. Yeah, about this trip. Facebook Messenger? Yeah, they don't know. It's all text to them. Well...
But generally, when you say generally speaking, then someone would share their phone number and say, okay. He's just like, all right, man, cool. I still don't have his phone number. I'll give you my number, mate. No, you don't want that. You don't think so? Yeah. It'll be a mistake. It's just like asking for gigs and stuff like that. Asking for gigs. He goes, what do you do with these night gigs driving? Do you just leave early or what? Who books that? Yeah, yeah. A lot of who books that. Yeah, yeah. All right.
I will start with you guys podcast with your comments. I messed it up, but it was funny to say start. This has been going on forever. Jen Hall holiday. Hey bear. Just got home from Nate's Sacramento show, which was awesome at the show. I repeated the line as a laugh and had a flash of Aaron leaning in close and saying enough.
I only did it once and laughed even harder. Question for the pod. When you say things about the city you're in, good or bad, how much of it is experience versus research or even universal? Thank you guys for the quality and educational entertainment. Yeah, we... It's just walking around if you see stuff.
I mean, y'all used to do a lot more of that. Y'all did a very funny thing where y'all, I always thought that was a good idea. Do you still do that on your shows? No, because you guys roasted me, so I guess I don't do it anymore. Don't let these guys get to you. Yeah, yeah. I actually thought that was a good idea. We drove around. I actually thought that was good. I think it's a lot of work.
It allows a lot of work. To have to do that for every show. In a rental car in any city. Yeah, yeah. I did think that was a good idea. You go around. Because, I mean, I think that's a great thing. Drive around the city. Yeah. Drive around the city. Then we were like, oh, we're going to, like, Rockford, Illinois. And then, like, we're back in Rockford. What do we do now? You said everything there is to say about Rockford. Yeah.
I always thought that was funny because they were like, if you watch the show, we said we got there like four different ways. Oh, yeah. Because the Tour of the City video, we're driving and we're like, we just got here. Yeah. And then we took a tour bus. Yeah. And then we were like, you know, a joke. But that airport. I flew it. He made fun of the airport, too. So they'd be like, how did they get here? There's a lot going on. You're like, got to y'all's airport, man. Didn't we just see you driving? You are driving here. Why? Yeah. Yeah, it is. But you do want to.
You could be like that airport for every city. That's true. And pretty much like, who is it that always used to do...
what's the roast master? What's his name? Jeff Ross. He goes, man, this club is going to be awesome when they finish it. Yeah. You can do you say that. Say that anywhere. Yeah. It goes for everything. I think people do, uh, people, the one that they do, they're sometimes they're an ass. They're having, they're having a comic, have a joke about the bad town. So they will go and go, Hey, what is your town that you make fun of in this city? What's the redneck? What's the red? Yeah. If you have a joke about it. So then you say that town and everybody goes crazy. Uh,
Uh, but yeah, it's, you know, on our, and my shows, we have, uh, Joey McCullough host the shows and he's really good about saying something about the town. It's like Sacramento or whatever. I try to like, if I can, if there's something that pops up, there's been times like I had, like I've made fun of Birmingham's interstates or something once and that did great. And so it's like, if it happens, it happens, but I don't try to.
I don't try to force it. It's hard. I mean, you kind of get in that city. You got to show. It's just... It's hard to... That's what I imagine. Y'all doing that would be... There's a point where you got to go like, it's a little too much. Well, I've just been to Zany so many times. You know how many times I've heard the joke, I had some hot chicken today, and then I was on the... I was in the bathroom later. Heard that 50 different times. It's like, I get it, dude. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, that's... We get it because you hear it all the time, but the crowd likes hearing it. Sure. I would do...
I'm not going to do it. What? You should just do it. It's good to be in Paducah. I just got to visit the home of the child I sponsor here. There you go. There you go. It's $40 a month sending out to Paducah. Yeah, let's go, dude. Let's go. Thank you, dude. Hey, high five. Can you not see this? Because it's like a third world country. Yeah, that's good, man. I like it. Yeah, that's good.
I've never heard that. I'd go high five and you didn't see it. Dude, my heart skipped a beat when you held that hand up. Man, I looked at the sun. I told you, man. That's concerning. It's already kicking in. I think I've done, well, the only one I did, I did, because we did do it, I did Habitat for Humanity by church in Des Moines. And I told, and I said that in Des Moines once. Like we had a mission trip to here. Yeah, yeah. I go, yeah, we did have a mission trip to Des Moines. And so that's very funny to say. You can say that in any town. Because you're, whatever reason you're going, but we did it. And we were like, yeah, I've been up here once. Yeah.
But it's always like, I go to like the West Palm Beach improv, which is like, you can't trash on that. Like you go, oh, I can't wait to get out of here. Like this is an unbelievable vacation. Well, you make fun of it being old. Old people. Yeah, yeah. Old people. Yeah, this comic. You got a spider on you. On me? Hey, look at him. Get it on the back, Greg. Get it.
Damn, I came out in the dark. That's just normal stuff, man. You get old spotters just on you. I brought that from Nashville. They're coming from inside you. Yeah, I know. Because they just live there. It's like a home. Elizabeth Hernandez. I'm going back listening to episodes with my favorite guests. My top four are Greg Warren, Vecchione, Leanne Morgan,
Nick Novick. No, John Crist. What if we did it? It came in at four. Is that in order? I think so. She ranked them. Mount Rushmore is not a ranking. It's just who's on your Mount Rushmore of Nate Land Guests.
The Bigfoot guy. Definitely. Kevin Jada. Kevin Jada. Good job. What was so special about Greg? That civilian station. Yes. Yeah, that one's its own thing. It is its own thing. He was a Bigfoot expert? Bigfoot and UFO enthusiast. He made sure to say, I'm not an expert. I'm just into it. He's just into it. And he just worked a regular job with Abigail, my sister. Yeah.
So one of our first guests is just... No credentials, nothing. Never spoken, never done any interviews, just a complete regular person. And it was good? Yeah. It was great, dude. Yeah, and we've had some... One of the fun stuff happened there. Yeah. I mean, I agree with all these. Who's their bottom four? Yeah, you don't want to mention that. Don't mention that. We haven't had anybody, though. No, we haven't really either. No, no, everybody is...
We're all friends. So no one would be a bottom four because it's, you know, I don't want guests on that we don't really know. He was the only one that we didn't personally know. Kevin Trout. And that was perfect. Yeah, we talked about. We talk a lot at work. He just knew a lot about the stuff. I'd say for me, my least favorite is Dusty.
Scott Crawford. Scott Crawford. I've noticed that Nate's thumb is hypermobile, which means he has a propensity to curve backwards beyond the typical range.
The common name for it is hitchhiker's thumb. The medical term for it is distal hyperextensibility. I think I nailed that word. You did nail that. I want to see. Does yours not curve back? No, not quite severe. I feel like mine's doing it. Your left thumb is pretty curved. Yeah, that one. Yeah, that one. Yeah, that one curves more. My toe. Your thumb has scoliosis. Okay.
What about mine? Oh, my gosh. Are you double joining? Freak show. Are you double joining, man? Before the eclipse, because maybe that's what calls, though. Yeah. Holy smokes, man. You are so gross. Say, like, good job. Do it. Way to go, buddy. No, you're not. That's not right.
That would not be on a brochure if you were like, hey, we need a good thumbs up. I don't know if yours would be on a brochure. I think yours would be on a brochure about going, if you have this, come into the doctor this week. That's where your brochure would be. Yeah, brochure for Discord. It goes, when to call the doctor, and yours is the one they go, when it does this.
Yeah, that's a C. I'd put it at a 45-degree angle. That's a C. Let me see. Show it to you. Does it go back like that? No, it's like an out pattern. You're pointing at me. You go down here, and then you go out. Yeah. It's a post. Yeah, down and out. It's a post round is what it is. That wouldn't even be a good hitchhiker's thumb. I think the guy would go, I don't know what this guy wants. I think he's telling me to go take a left down this road. He wants me to get in the car with him. Yeah.
He goes, you think that guy's hitchhiking? I think he's asking us to take a turn. Maybe the road's closed up front. You need to get that checked out. Well, now I'm going to have to be self-conscious for the rest of my life. You do that a lot on stage? Good to see you. Yeah.
I'll do this. There you go. That's good. This is not a thumbs up. I agree. If you're hitchhiking and you're going to life or death, I would not do this. No. Both of you have distal hyperextensibility. We both do. Yeah. That's for sure. But yours is... I'm straight up and down. Look, my toe... Yours is real distal. My toes go crazy. My dad's toe go crazy. Our toes go... Our toes make a left turn like that. Yeah. Our right turn. Our toes make... Yeah. You could do like freak show stuff. Yeah. Oh, my God.
If you showed up at a freak show about thumbs, I don't think you're immediately asked to leave. I think you're there. Are you kidding me? I don't think he's in it. I don't think he even comes close. I think the guy in charge of that show. I think you get a callback. No, he doesn't make the team. You have what we call a callback. But he stays. I try out. I think they wing people out.
It's like America's Got Talent. They're making it to the television part. I think they're going to show you on television. No, I think he shows up and they kick the bearded lady out of the troupe. Simon Cowell goes, let's talk to this guy. Sorry, Denise, you're gone. Stop doing that. Oh, man.
Yours goes straight. Straight up and down. Roast him. Look at that. Straight up and down. It looks completely normal. He's got all the blood in the top of his. Let me Google. That's the most red thumb I've ever seen. Is it red? Yeah, I feel like it's just all blood. Maybe it doesn't get up there that much. Maybe it's because I got good circulation, Nate. I don't know. It looks like it's all going. The circulation looks like it's trying to get out. Give this emoji thumbs up. Yeah, straight up. That's what mine looks like. No. No, man. John, hold your phone up again.
Tilt it about 45 degrees to the left there. Other way, other way. Yeah, that's your thumb right there. Well, now when I come out and do local jokes, I'm like, I love your city. I'm not doing this. People yell out Go Jackets at my show. Yeah, that's great. I love it. I'm going to have this. I love it. Now you have this, Go Jackets. Thumbs up. Why is your thumb weird? And you're like, well, that's not a good one. That's not even a catchphrase. That's just...
Yeah, that's the unreal deal. It's both. Why didn't you lead with that? You got both of them. Yeah, it's both. It would look like your thumbs had never met each other. No one in my life has ever said this to me in my whole life. I know they're scared. It's like opposite of parentheses. Yeah.
I mean, what do you got to do if you had to do a fingerprint on your thumb? You'd have to climb on the table. Somebody hold my feet up. It's like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. Got to lower him in.
If you're listening at home, don't watch this. It's gross. No. Turn away. What's it called? Just so I know. Do you have any pre-existing conditions? Hitchhiker's thumb. I have it. It's like some hyper extensibility. Distal hyper. Yeah. Hyper mobile. But I'm with Nate on that one. I don't know why they call it hitchhiker's thumb because they would not. They wouldn't. Yeah.
Well, I'm sure he is. He's probably got something else. Nice to meet you. Or maybe we've met before. I'm the COVID-19 virus. I use disguises to fool your immune system. My buddy the flu virus and I make thousands of people sick every year. But updated vaccines make it a lot harder.
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Mead fam. Mead fam. That was rude of John Crist not to invite Dusty to his roast. Okay. I used to be a Chris fam, but not no more. That's a little bit. That's the whole family. That's the Mead family. Apparently. The whole family. They sound like a big family, too. Yeah. That's how you know they're joking. They put that on the end, or are they serious? I think they're serious. Where is this? On YouTube?
Yeah, a lot of places. Twitter, Instagram, YouTube. Why did you not invite Dusty? It's a surprise. John might be the only person to not blame for this. He didn't know it was going to happen. Did the surprise roasted you? We got Lydia. Why did you not invite Dusty? Oh, well, well, well. She doesn't want to be involved. She's looking at the sun with no glasses. She goes, kill me now. Oh, it's a pretty cool shape right now, you guys. Switch glasses. It's the back half. Oh, yeah.
Kind of looks like Pac-Man. Yeah. Yeah. Pac-Man. Oh, that's Mario. That's Mario. Totally different game, different era. Pac-Man's my generation, baby. I can't do Pac-Man.
No, it's the Mario. What's Pac-Man? I don't know if Pac-Man's famous for its music, really. I couldn't tell you the Pac-Man theme song. Yeah, yeah. That was it, right? Ms. Pac-Man? Let me see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My brother can do a thing where you go like...
He can walk into an arcade and they got a Ms. Pac-Man. Yeah. And he can take the joystick or whatever and go like up, down, right, left, left, right, right, right, and it turns to regular Pac-Man. Oh, he gets rid of the man. It just goes right to regular Pac-Man. Is it because if you wanted it to be faster? Now he's got nothing to say. Ms. Pac-Man's too slow. Then you go, I'm going to speed it up. Maybe I'll get a...
Get a dude Pac-Man out there. Because he can eat more, too.
I wasn't allowed to play that. This Pac-Man eventually stopped because she goes, I've had enough. And they go, well, there's half the points are still left. She's like, I'm lost. Just let me stop. Did you say you weren't allowed to play Pac-Man? Yeah, it was like eating. It was like violence. Like eating? I definitely wasn't. I wasn't allowed to watch Speed Racer. I remember that. It was a Christian thing. You were against eating? We weren't even Christian. Just moral? Pac-Man's a yellow ball. Very moral, but not... You were eating the other...
Ghosts. Yeah, we can believe in that. Looking back on it, I didn't get much explanation, but I remember not being allowed to play it. And the Ninja Turtles game. What about Frogger? We could play that. Okay. Because you're the one getting run over by it. You're not hurting anybody. Going across the street. Yeah. Yeah. Tony Chandler. Aaron, I love the story about you reaching out to Ben Rector one too many times.
We've all been there. No shame in that tribe, my man. Tough miss. Go Jackets. I'm not getting strays on that. Well, Go Jackets is my favorite thing. I got a...
the Georgia athletic director was, he was there, he was at a Georgia Tech tennis, Georgia Tech, Georgia game. And then he texts me. He's like, look at, look who we're playing. And I was like, and I bet it's hard for him not to yell, even as the Georgia athletic director, not go, go Jack. People say that to me all the time. Yeah. Although I still, and then I wanted to, what's,
I wanted to follow up with him and be like, did you see the Nate land? And I go, I can't. Like double now? Yeah. I'm like, hey, we're going to go Dylan Lee. No, that was Harrison Butker. Okay. We had both of them. Yeah. It was both of them, yeah. I don't know this Ben Rector. You said you reached out to Ben Rector? We met a couple times. He knew you. He knew me through you. Yeah. DMed a couple times. I think I just overplayed my hand a little. Yeah. Just got a little too familiar. You know, it's funny. I just, I golfed with him. No, he responded. I golfed with him last week. Did you really? Yeah.
He didn't bring it up, but I'll bring it up. It'd be weird if he did. Yeah, I was just with him. He goes, what's up with your boy? Isn't that kid on your podcast? Yeah, he goes, that guy is... Wait, would you like respond to a story? He responded to a story, then I responded back. Who started it?
He probably did. Or he responded with a... He did. We passed each other on the street in Durham, North Carolina. Okay. And then he DM'd me. It was like, did I just pass you? And then we just talked. I saw him at the airport. Yeah. It's a whole... He's, I mean... Exceptionally nice guy. One of the most wonderful people. That's why I felt comfortable enough to do that. Oh, man. He's a wonderful person. He's a singer. Oh, okay. But that's tough if he's the nicest and then you get... I didn't say anything. Did you say what's his role? Yeah. Yeah.
Is that how you say stuff for people? I don't know, man. Is that how you talk about it? Like you go walking to Walmart and he goes up, what's your role here? And they go, what? What's his role? Everybody plays a role, Nate. I mean, everybody does play a role. I've just never heard what's his role. Do you mean like what does he do for a living? Is that what you meant? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. All the world's a stage. What's your role in the human race? Yeah. What's your role? He's our mic guy.
That's tough to be the nicest guy in the world. That's tough to be rejected by, then. Yeah. I wasn't rejected by it. I just. No, he's a good dude. He's probably heavy. Yeah. He comes in heavy. Yeah. So much that you can do when you go like, all right, dude. It's too much. Yeah. Maybe a story. If a story, like if you resonate, you're going to follow back up or are you done?
I give a little laugh emoji maybe, dude. Just ease my way back in. A laugh in the thread or a laugh on the story? On the story, maybe. I don't know. Do you comment on a lot of his stories? No, not a lot. I haven't been crazy. Yeah, enough. Enough. What do you put on there? I don't know. Like thumbs up? Yeah, like, yeah, man, or something. You killing it? Oh, my gosh. No.
I haven't been weird. You're killing it. Dude, that's what he does. What are you doing? Dude, I heard you're killing it. Fire? Do you put fire? Oh, no. Is it emojis? No, I don't do fire emojis. I've never done that. That's insane. I'm going to put these glasses on so I don't have to look at you the rest of the time. Paul Goodness.
I just came across an old clip of Nate talking about working out. He thought telling people he used to weigh 300 pounds was an easy cheat code. It made me wonder what happens to all old material, guys, you work so hard to develop. It seems a shame that the only way we can consume it by finding old videos, do you ever recycle material? Can it be revamped into a new joke? No. The answer is a good no. This is what I always say. I know you want to hear the old jokes and all that stuff.
This is a... It's a lose-lose for comedians. Sometimes you can do a... You know, you could do an old joke. It's hard to remember them. Because you remember when you're writing a new act...
You have to get, like, there's like a fire cell going off in your brain of just getting rid of old material. Because you just are on such search for new material. And with stand-up comedy, I understand there's stories I think people like to hear me retell, but like it was the Olivia joke. When people shout out the Olivia joke, they're like, oh, do the Olivia joke. Well, you're yelling the
The whole point of the joke is that you don't know I'm going to say Olivia. And I was there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you were there. Nobody ever gives me credit for that. You know what? I didn't mention it. He was there. Chris was there. I was there later that day. Yeah, you were there that day when I first tried it. Yeah.
Because he was with me in Tampa. Me, you, and Dwight Rogers were playing. Oh, no. Were you with me? Yeah. I was with him playing in Tampa. Golf course. Yeah. We weren't on the road together? No. We were in, I don't know. I was somewhere. We were there. We played Trump. We played whatever, the Trump course in Palm Beach. Yeah. And then we played that one. And then I had to drive to Tampa. You must have been there and I was there.
Yeah, I forget. There was a reason where it kind of worked out. And my buddy, Dwight, got a song. Yeah, that was it. But you want to hear it.
I understand what he's saying. I think you could probably do some stuff where you could go like, hey, I'll do some of my old stuff. But it's just so much different than a song or anything because it's the surprise. Maybe like the rhythm. I understand a long story can be fun to be retold because it's kind of a song kind of thing. It's like sing-songy a little bit. So you'd like to rehear it. But...
If you don't keep moving forward, I believe, as a comic, your career will stop. I mean, you still could have people coming, but you would never gain new fans because you're never going to be writing. And that's the part. That's why I love stand-up, and that's why stand-up is in, I think, such a great spot right now. If everybody keeps writing and moving forward, that's the...
I'm biased, but it's, I think stand-up comedy is the hardest thing to do in all of entertainment because you have to create it, you have to write it, you have to perform it, and you have to keep doing it. And critique it after. Yeah, you have to, and you have to move. There's so much work that goes into it. That's why it's...
You know, it's to make... When you see a comic up there and you think like, oh, yeah, that could be just funny and do that. It's the beautiful thing about it is like it's... I mean, hours. A year and a half of just messing with these words and figuring it out and putting it together and piecing it together. It's a true... And that's the show that you want to go to. That's the show, you know. It's like, yeah, I don't do a ton of like...
Crowd like are talking or any I kind of just get into my act because it's like you're you're like This act is so hard to do or not so hard It's it's just it's very hard to plan and you're like I want to give you the best show that you can get I know if I go there if I do other stuff, it's gonna be you're gonna get tired of it and eventually be like, all right Well, we're not gonna go anymore because it's not I should be trying to get better. You remember that went in in
It was probably 2020, maybe the fall. I went with you to the corporate downtown Nashville. Yeah. Then you were like, there was like bits that you were like... Yeah, old bits. Yeah, because you'd never seen those people. And you're like...
Not that this is not... At a corporate... You go reach for something else back in your old stuff. Yeah, corporate, man. A corporate's a little different. A corporate, everything gets condensed. Yeah, everything gets condensed, and you will bring old stuff out. I do that, yeah. Because it's... You know, you're like, more than likely they don't know you, and maybe it's not the best situation. You need to be kind of rapid fire and all that kind of stuff. I think that's what this guy might be asking, though. Like, the...
These jokes were not many people knew you. It's hot. It is getting a lot hotter. If you're bringing back old jokes, it's not going well. Well, look, that's an old way that they did it. You know, before specials and before TV, which this is how new an art form stand-up is, is entertainers didn't write. I mean, you wrote an act, and you did the act for years. I mean, Dad, when he...
My dad's here is what I keep pointing. But when they started, it's like you came up with an act. You did Seinfeld. That's why Seinfeld did it. He doesn't, you know, he didn't write. It wasn't this thing. It was like you write an act, you tour on it for almost the rest of your life. One hour. Because you're not on, they didn't have specials. That's what Seinfeld, when I asked him, did y'all do theaters? He goes, no one did. Theaters weren't even a thing. You couldn't ever, it was insane to be like a comedian would ever go to a theater. And when he was, you know, at his peak,
It wasn't until probably Seinfeld TV show later before afterwards that he went into theaters for the first time. Really? Cause it was just doing comedy clubs. They weren't theaters just weren't a thing. And look, you now you're in arenas and that's the, that's what I love. Man. I, I love standup and I hope this, there's the next generation of standup is you can just do standup and you are, have your standup be the catalyst for whatever else you get, but you got it because you are a standup. Standup is the hardest thing. It's the, uh,
I mean, as a comic saying it, but I but I just it's you got to I mean, you just got to write everything and you got to say it. That's, you know, it's it's just a lot of stuff. And you're in this room with just a microphone and you got to entertain all these people and they have to be compelled to want to listen to you.
And it has to be funny. You have to keep their attention. It's hard to keep people's attention. You have to keep their attention. In theory, it stinks. It's just a guy talking. You know what I mean? Yeah. In theory. Yeah. It's so much. What if you had like a DJ or... Okay. Some sound effects or... A DJ? John used to have a DJ. Yeah. Oh, man, I did the... Used to. I did the thing on BET one time and they have... All those guys have DJs and they bring you up to stage. Yeah. And I was terrified because...
I was like the only white guy in this thing and you... All those guys were like dancing with the DJ. I don't think they were doing that. No, they weren't. I was like, cut, cut, cut, cut. Please, God, don't let them have to see me dance with the DJ. And those DJs at the black shows, I may have talked about this on the podcast before. They've had that? Those DJs take more abuse than anybody in show business. Those guys, they always...
what's DJ doing? Like those guys, like those guys. Yeah. Cut it DJ. Cut it. Cut it. No, no, no, no. I told you. And he's like, someday those guys are going to rebel and be like, no man, you told me to play this just so you could see me do say that I did the wrong thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. All comics do.
A white guy comes out to a wild, who picked this music? Like, you told me four minutes ago to play this. I worked with a comment. He gave his host a very specific intro. And then the first 10 minutes, we're just trashing the host for that intro. And I'm in the back with the host, and he's like, you told me to say all this. Yeah, yeah. I got set up on that one. Man, I was doing a gig this weekend, and it was a young guy, and he asked me what song. How old's young?
Well, younger. He's probably in his 20s, man. He was younger than you. All right. I mean, you're looking at his outfit. He's pretty old. And I go, because I never... And I told him to play his Led Zeppelin song. And he's like, who's that? And I'm like, I shouldn't be in the clubs anymore. I don't know what... And then you roast him for that? No, I didn't roast him, because I felt like I was the old guy. I'm like...
Yeah. So your motion gigs are more in, like, cafeteria settings now? I would do some cafeterias. Where they go, you go and play Led Zeppelin, they go, we're not playing that new music. That's what you're doing. I would do a cafeteria if somebody's booking them out there. We got one here a couple hundred yards away from here, man. I'd tear that place up, man. I would.
I'm doing a high school. DJ, play it again. My niece's high school graduation and I'm going to eat it so hard. Oh, yeah. They're all about it. For the kids? For the kids. Oh, gosh. At like two in the morning. And they're all making it. And then they told me that I was following a Michael Jackson, Bruno Mars impersonator. Yeah.
You got to open. He should go last. I know. And I was like, and it's in the gym and they're all sitting on the gym floor. I'm going to eat it so hard at this thing. The doctor's office that accidentally mixed up your files has your social security number. The power company that mistakenly cut your service has your payment info. And the hotel that lost your reservation has your passport number.
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I think I skipped one. Did I skip Jesse Briggs? You did. Jesse Briggs, I wish more podcasts in the general public talked about March Madness. Madness. Madness. Oh, I thought that's what he put? March Madness? Mm-hmm.
Oh, you know what March Madness is? Yeah, I read it. This almost looks like a setup for me. Yeah, March Madness, M-A-T-ness, is the NCAA Division I College Wrestling National Tournament. Basketball always outshines wrestling, but wrestling is my favorite sport, and I would love to hear more of these guys trying to understand the crazy sport of folk-style wrestling. Jesse, I went. It was two weeks ago in Kansas City. I was there. Look at the camera. You're talking to Jesse. Yeah. Yeah, Jesse. Thanks, man.
Jesse, I went. I went. I think he's looking at the lights and not the camera. I can't see anything. I looked at the thing, man. He thought he was looking at Jesse. He goes, you turn around. Jesse, let me tell you. Jesse, where's Jesse in the stands?
No, I was there. It was in Kansas City. Me and my dad went two weeks ago. It was great. Yeah. It was awesome. Missouri didn't have a great tournament. What's this kid? I've seen a couple of things about a kid making the Olympics. That happened this weekend. He made the Olympic trial. Yeah. He qualified for the trials. He's a sophomore in high school. And that's really rare for someone that young. Yeah, man. He beat some real seasoned wrestlers. These kids, they're getting really good really young because there's these clubs that
kind of private clubs that have Olympic-level guys coaching them. So, yeah, high school kids are – it's insane how good they are. But where do they end up? Do they go like a WWE? Well – You see where they end up. Dude, high school cafeterias. He's an All-American wrestler from Missouri. I mean, this is – I don't even know. Where do they end up? He goes, how are you looking at it? He goes –
I think this is best-case scenario right here. Yeah, this is not. This is actually, I'm killing it. This is the top. You're looking at it. I mean, some guys, you can make some money wrestling internationally now. USA Wrestling pays some money if you win a gold medal or stuff like that. But a lot of, you know, guys go to the UFC, actually. Yeah. And then some guys do go to WWE, which isn't, you know, not real. But they make some money. Sorry.
Me and Aaron went. We did go. Did you guys go? Did you watch WrestleMania 40? I didn't. I watched it. You did? The one that just happened? John Cena and The Rock went at it. Our guy, what's his name? But my agent, we were in the same arena.
head to head and my agent called and he said I'm so sorry because that's your fans and I go that's not good for me he goes sorry the wrestling fans that's why your show wasn't sold out because wrestling is your demographic in the same building yeah I go it is he goes yeah they're pretty do you watch Wrestlemania yeah you watch wrestling that much I mean I've been into it the last couple years just because yeah I think it's awesome you keep an eye on it
Yeah. Y'all need kids. That's the problem. I'm having a kid. That is true. Oh, yeah. We haven't talked about it yet. We haven't talked about it. Congratulations, Aaron. That was the setup. Thank you. Thank you. We're doing it. Aaron's having a kid. October 17th. All right. So we'll see. Look at that. See, Reston's going to go by the wayside.
You and Brian can tell us what else goes by the wayside. I already know what I'm losing, right? I'm playing a lot of MLB The Show right now. That'll be gone. That'll be gone. I won't be able to just pop over and go to a Braves game when I'm off like I did this weekend. Oh, are you a Braves fan? This guy's doing a high school next week. What'd you lose, Brian? Anything?
I wasn't doing much anyway. You lost nothing. Television. No, no, no. You ain't going to, there ain't no more like, why don't we go to the Titans game? Why don't we go to this? The spontaneity. That's out. The spontaneity is gone. Which I think I'm kind of ready for anyway. I was living like, you know.
It's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get to watch every... It just... You feel relief. You get to watch your sports or whatever. You just become not as a crazy person. Well... So then you get to back off and just be... Normal. Normal, yeah. Yeah, you're watching like...
I watched the Masters this week, and it's like, but whatever it is, you're just life. There's just other stuff now. So you don't, you know, you're like, I'm not watching. I try to watch the Titans every game, but if I don't, I don't. Yeah, I used to have Titans season tickets for like 20-something years. March Madness, tonight's the championship game.
I don't think it tips off to like 820, so I should be able to watch that, but I haven't seen much of March Madness. Because of you have a baby. I used to watch every game if I could. Did you check out some of the madness? Yeah. What show was that on? ESPN had it on. Oh, yeah. ESPN 3? Yeah, they should show it.
What is it if you're like, hey, if you're like, we're going to have a baby, but I'm keeping this. You can't do that, right? Yeah. I'll put my foot down on some stuff. You will? Yeah. What are you keeping? His other wife. That would be funny if you just go, I'm keeping my other family. I'll have a baby. I'll have a baby. You got to have your job, and then that's it. No, you keep, yeah. I was like with comedy, it was,
But I didn't play – video games just went away naturally too just because they – I'll play them some now, but you're just – he's about at the age where you start – you kind of just stop. I'm gradually losing interest. Yeah, you just go like – I could play them just if I wanted distraction. It's like there could be distraction, but it's complicated. You're having to update video games. I mean, you have to update –
Every second. You mean just download like a routine update? Yeah. Like a patch? It's crazy. It takes like five minutes, dude. No. It's crazy, man. I don't think I have it hooked. Stuff got hooked up so crazy and weird. There's no more just turning it on and just getting to it. Oh, that's for sure. That's gone. I never liked playing online.
And so there's no more just turning it on and be like, I just want to play a regular game. I mean, I had an old joke about it this season, the Vince Young joke. But, like, when you play in your – it's like, you know, what are you doing? I got to re-sign people, and you're like, all right. Got to price hot dogs. Yeah, got to show the price of hot dogs. I was playing the new MLB The Show, the baseball game, and you have to, like, recruit and scout new players. And I go, I'm simming all this. There's no way I'm doing spreadsheets. What do you have in your house, a PlayStation?
We have a PlayStation 4. My girlfriend knows if I'm watching a TV show, she's like, he's not doing well. I don't watch TV. What are you doing? I was watching Suits. She goes, something's going on. If you're in there playing a lot of video games, you're like, what's going on with you? When I watch a movie or something, some of it's just background noise. I have it on to...
Because I'm thinking about a hundred things. You're like, that would be odd that you were doing that. That's why video games can be good because you can go in and you're like, if you're playing football, you can just think about everything. Yeah. But get it. But if you were like, if you're a
Georgia Tech fan you're like oh I'll follow along and see what their record is but if I'm like on the message boards about the recruits you're like dude you got kids that's what you're talking about tweeting at potential recruits tweeting at recruits you gotta let that go you gotta let that stuff exactly you get two years after college two years after college a tweet at recruits I read the Vanderbilt forums
But you don't contribute. I've never posted. There you go. And I just, and I don't read them, but I'll read them as, you know, like you're just kind of like seeing like what's the vibe with what's going on. I just kind of look at a few of them and then you move on. So that's what I am with wrestling. If I'm not like buying merch, well, I did buy merch, I guess, but I'm not like, what'd you get? I just got a highlight t-shirt when I went to raw with Aaron, not a mask or anything. Yeah.
That's a good way to do it, though. Follow it like a follow the Titans. Like I generally know if they're good. Yeah. But I'm not. Yeah. Did we have other solar eclipse stuff? Yeah, I got more stuff. What do you want me to read? Let's read. Let's do that one. All right. Jimmy Trent. I called an Uber to take me home around 2 a.m. As the driver pulled up to the drop off location, he was in the middle of telling some story. I didn't care and went to get out.
He reached all the way to the back passenger side door, shut it, looked me in the eye, and said, not until I finish my story. I said, this is how true crime podcasts start and took off. He did not get five stars from that night. Yeah, that's crazy. Was that you, Brian? No, it was not me. I don't, man, but...
I don't like being cut off on a story. Yeah, I get it. You know? I mean... Yeah, but if you pulled up... The story clearly meant something to him. But, I mean, that's on the Uber driver, too. You've got to time your story up. That's true. Like, that's not on me. You've got an ETA right there on the phone. Have you ever been telling a story, especially when you're working on a bit to a friend or something, and the waitress shows up, like, right when you're at the punchline? When are you working on bits with friends? Oh, dude, this weekend. With a friend? Huh? If you were doing a bit? You guys would do a lot of shows. Uh...
He goes, and all his friends, they don't remember what they just said. The next day, he goes and talks to them again. People went to high school with, they're like, Greg? He's like, he goes, look, I got a new audience every day. Same guy. Same guy, new audience. What's the handicap park look like at your high school reunion? Pretty full? I'm 55. Tough to get a spot. It's not. It's not.
By the way, there's people in your crew that are laid out. They're like laying down. They gave up. It looks like Guyana or something. Is that Jim Jones? Yeah, Jim Jones. They're trying to get some sun. It's definitely getting hotter out here. This weekend, Anaheim. So we're doing the show, and it's...
It's going great. My closer. I had two things, actually. I was in Stateline, Nevada, Tahoe. Somebody messaged me about this. Asked Nate about the fireworks. Go ahead and just re-ruin it. What happened? That's what I mean with the waitress coming up. Yeah. I just did. Oh, yeah. Number seven. The number was seven. He dies in the end. Go ahead. It's one of us, Stateline and Reno.
All the lights came on at the end of my set. This was at the end, too. At the very end of my set, it's dark, lights just flip on, and then flip back off, which was insane. It's crazy to be, you're in it, you know, it's dark, you're in the story, and then just, like, cafeteria lights, and everybody's just looking at you, then they just go off. Was that intentional?
A guy, the guy fumbled. He's like, I don't know. Then I made a joke about it. Like, I was like, you think, I was like, it'd be funny if like the light switch for this, you know, it's an arena. And it's like, is it just a flip? Just one guy. Because you think it's like a garage one where it's like, and it's just a guy that just like leaned back on a wall. And he's like, what is that? You should be able to accidentally do that. You should never be able to accidentally do it. And so we had that. And then in Anaheim,
I'm doing, I've started the closer, you know, and that's when there's mess ups, you're like, just don't, don't, you can get me anywhere. Don't get me on, you know, the closer is the one that's the toughest. Cause you're like, I got, I'm just, now I'm getting off. I'm trying to be in this rhythm of to get it off. And fireworks started going off. And I, so I hear boom, boom, boom. Oh yeah.
Inside the arena? Yeah. From where? From the Magic Kingdom? I didn't know the lobby or something. No. Inside. I think he had been on the news if I worked with him. WrestleMania. Yeah. I go, yeah, I just fought through it. And they go, they're shooting them at me. And I go, I still got to do the joke. No, so there's an Angels game.
That just got out. In the parking lot. In the parking lot. Yeah, yeah. Well, they don't win very often. I know. Well, yeah. So you hear boom, boom. And, like, we had, you know, no heads up. Like, it's almost because I think it's because, you know, and comedy is a weird thing where you're like, you know, if a band, if those go off, no one even can really tell. And with comedy, it's like everybody's kind of quiet and listening. So the fireworks start going. Yeah.
The fireworks start going. They hear what? You said very? I said very. People hear fireworks three towns over, but I'm on stage. Yeah. There's a guy sitting in the front row, and he goes, I think someone's car alarm's going off. I think someone knocked on my door. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, we got a show going on. Could you guys quiet down? I'll be praying for fireworks at that cafeteria show. Yeah. He'll take anything. They still won't hear them. The audience, because they can't. Cool.
It's an old joke. I didn't quite understand it, but I knew it was a slight. Oh, my God. He was thinking cafeteria like old folks. You're thinking about like a school cafeteria. Yeah, school. Oh, yeah. It's too amazing. Sorry. Aaron's about done with it. He's ready to wrap it up? Yeah. Done with what? I thought you'd go, all right.
No, no, no. I'm sorry. You did make an audible. I just moved up slightly in my seat. We were playing that in high school. We were playing that. We're like, hey, everybody start going like this. Yeah. And then the teacher's like, just trick the teacher. A little fun side note. Nick Novicki, I know his. He will, if you're talking about something and he's done with hearing about you talk about that thing, he'll just say what the, you could probably see it.
I wonder if he's done our podcast. Like, say we're out here and we're talking about the eclipse, but Nick wants to move on and talk about something else. So he'll just wait for the quiet moment. He goes, eclipse. And you go, all right. And he goes, y'all watched the tournament last week. He's done with it. Yeah. So we can't, so he can't, we can't catch him doing it this week. He'll just, uh, I forget what it, you know, it'll just, you know, it'll be like basketball. Yeah.
And that means he's done. He's done with basketball. He's done with basketball. And he could not even be involved in it. He's just like, he's got something he wants to bring up. Anyway, so the fireworks go off and you hear it and everybody can hear it. But it's that moment where you go, I'm in the end. I need to just do it.
I was like, I think I could just probably plow through it and people just can be like, hey, fireworks are going off. But then you saw flashes. Once I saw the flash, I was like, well, now I think I have to... That's why I don't do arenas. Yeah. No glass. And then I started... I admire your stance on that, too. Thank you. So I talked about fireworks for a good little bit. And I was trying to do it to just long enough, you know, where you're kind of being like, all right, maybe...
If I do three minutes on fireworks, these things will be done. And they weren't. They never got done. I just had to go, well, I got to do it. I think I finished in the grand finale of the fireworks. Have you been on stage at Zany's when it's raining really hard? Yeah. Dude, it's the loudest noise. You can't even hear the show. I had a buddy. My buddy Tanner was just...
Got a spot at Zany's. Soon as he goes on stage, it just starts. Can't hear his set at all. And you can only acknowledge it for so many minutes. Yeah, you say something about it, then you're like, well, I'm up here for another seven minutes. And it stopped as soon as he got off stage. I don't know how we're doing on time, but I do want to mention, I think that might have melted. Yeah.
Or is that supposed to be like that? No, I think it's supposed to be like that. Melissa Sedlek did a show in Mammiesburg, Ohio this weekend. She sent Eclipse gift bags. Eclipse gum, moon pies. Moon pies. These are double-decker moon pies, too. Aren't they all? We all got one. No, they're usually single-layer. I did eat mine. I think you got gummy bears. Moon pies? Not gummy bears, but...
I can't remember what you got. Historic Plaza Theater by Hemsburg. Oh, yeah, I got Sour Patch Kids. Sour Patch Kids is what I meant to say. I had Milky Ways of Mine. Oh, yeah. Thank you. What's her name? Melissa Sedlak. Thank you, Melissa. That's very nice. Dusty's got one. I'll give it to him next week when he comes out of the cave. Yeah. How are we doing on time? I don't know when we started. It's an hour 30. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we can, you know. I like how the angels with no one was ever like...
hey, maybe there's going to be some fun. Like, has that never happened before? No. That's what drives me nuts about the game. Well, it does happen, and that was the thing. Somebody. Yes. So everybody kind of said to him, like, if you would just give us a heads up, like, the Angel game. And you don't know when that game's going to be over, but if you said when the Angel game's over, like, you know, so then we could maybe turn on the Angels game and kind of keep an eye on it. We started late because it's an arena, so sometimes you're, you know, you'd be like 7 o'clock start. Maybe we try to start at 7 o'clock.
10, 15, but sometimes it's like 7.30 because it's just slow people getting in, especially in California where there's traffic. And so we were kind of having to push it and then it was just, it just timed out perfectly. How long do you think they lasted?
I had 12 minutes. That to me makes me don't think, that makes me think that they had a firework show planned. That's a 4th of July after the game. No, they do. They do. So it had nothing to do with them winning. It just, that was. No, I know. I think it had to. I thought it had to. Well, I thought it was either them or Disney because we were in Anaheim. It could be Disney. Disney, they said was too far away. So, but I mean, everybody that worked there was like, yeah, yeah, they do 12 minutes every Saturday when they, I guess in the Angels games or whatever. I don't know. Maybe, I don't know if it's a winner or not. That's a pretty good deal. But they did win.
Huh? 12-minute fireworks show? Yeah. Just for a regular season win? Yeah, it's a long one, man. Yeah, it was definitely a long one. What?
I mean, the Nashville Sounds do that, I think, every Saturday, but that's minor league baseball. We'll shoot off a couple when the Cardinals win, but, I mean, it's 30 seconds or less. You're not going 12 minutes. What's your role? Me? What's your role? I said we. I'm a fan. Yeah. I'll talk to him. We shoot them off. I think I've earned the right to say we after. Yeah. Yeah. Spent a lot of money on Cardinals games. You and Sonny Gray have both been on this podcast. He's hurt. He's hurt.
I think he's coming back in a week. I think he's pitching against the sounds in Memphis this week. Is he? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I cannot wait to get that guy. I thought there was something else I was going to say. One time I come from behind the curtain. They introduced me, and the curtain comes up, and I walk out of it. And one time...
the whoever like just like the lights guy the curtain just didn't come up yeah and so i pulled it up from under and crawled underneath it got out and then he pulled it up so you don't there's not this sometimes it's that sometimes you had to go the whole thing goes i pulled it up yeah and crawled out from underneath and then he pulled it up and i just same with the lights guy i go can i talk to him just send him back here i want to know what happened and
I don't comedy and where we don't get taken serious. And I'm in part of it is none of us. I'm not. None of us believe we should be taken serious. I comedies and comes from that thing. But it's the only time I don't want to. I don't care what you do to me. It's the show. It's the audience. I'm doing this to make the audience. Yeah, I want it to be good for them.
And the show to be... Yeah, like, if you mess up on something on me... But comedy, we're the only ones that can really kind of bounce back from anything that happens. There's no... Anything that can happen, you can kind of... But I said... You can address it. You can... You just make fun of it. Yeah, we're pretty self-contained. Like, we're pretty... Just like... Just...
Have those guys, you know when they say it's comedy and not music, it's like, oh, this is going to be easy. The sound guy at the arena goes, I got the night off. It's comedy. I was like, dude, you did Fiddler on the Roof last night with 97 cues. How can you not turn the lights up when I walk out? Yeah, they check out. They take the night off. It's like when you go to eat at Cracker Barrel at 3 in the afternoon. That's when they're like, oh, it's not much going on. That's when you get bad service. We got the one and two stars out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the thing? Yeah.
They still have that? Oh, yeah. Oh, they rank them? Oh, yeah. I don't know. I thought it was based on how much time. No, it's how much time you're there. Well, time and status, same thing, you know? It's people putting their work. Yeah. I'm guessing those are the pros. You go Sunday after church crowd, those are the five stars. Oh, yeah, man. Yeah. If you go Sunday after church, you're crazy. I know. That's a rookie move for a comic. If you're like, hey, you want to go to breakfast on Saturday morning or Sunday morning at 10? Yeah. What are you thinking, man? No.
Because you've already been at church. You're going to be playing chess on those rocking chairs for a couple hours. Yeah, who goes? You don't ever. You don't go eat breakfast on the weekends if you're a comic. You don't do it. Or you go 11. I mean, even 11 is too late. You go late. I mean, you find a brunch place at 2. Exactly. Just don't have breakfast, man. We're going to do lunch. John, would you still eat breakfast at 2?
Yeah. No matter what time you wake up, you have to have something breakfast related. So like an orange juice or like a banana and then you can go eat a hamburger. Yeah. We woke up on the road and he goes, we're going to Red Lobster. I go, I just woke up. I like Red Lobster. But not... Red Lobster, I think, is tough. To start? I go, I'll have an orange juice in the bus and then I'll go to Red Lobster. Red Lobster...
If you like seafood, man, high turns. You want to go somewhere where they're doing a lot of volume and that's Red Lobster. Yeah, high turns. But Red Lobster, I don't know if it can be sprung on me. And I definitely don't think I could wake up and just get my – and I can get my mind right. I can eat a hamburger in my bed when I wake up, but I don't know if I can get – You couldn't go hour for an hour getting Red Lobster? You couldn't get in it, the swing of it?
First of all, I think you can get a hamburger at Red Lobster. Well, then I might. But, yeah, I think Red Lobster's a— You definitely get a steak. Yeah. It's just—yeah, it feels—Red Lobster's are dark. You ever notice that? Like, when you go in? Dark, like, emotionally? No, no, no. Like, lighting. Lighting, and it's a very dark restaurant. It's moon. It's moon. Oh, you know what I had last night? That's what I was going to tell you. I had an Eclipse Sonic. They have a little Eclipse drink.
It's called a blackout drink. What's Eclipse about? It's just black? It was the whole thing. It was great. It was one that when you first eat it, you're like, I don't know if this is good. Then you can't stop eating it. You're like, I think it's pretty good. I think it was kind of grape slushy with ice cream.
Okay. And some sprinkles. And so then I got it last night. Yeah, I bet that's great. I went today before this. I went to Cracker Barrel and... Did you get the clips? I went to the Sonic to try to get these glasses. I don't know if you guys are going to have them. Sonic was too full and you can't go in because it's, you know... And then Cracker Barrel was out of them. Yeah, yeah. But they definitely... When you pull up to Sonic and they have the menu up there or whatever...
They have some little branding that has something to do with – they're all in on the Eclipse at Sonic. Yeah. Capitalizing on it. I'm just telling you right now.
It wouldn't be against too bad of a thing to go get one of those. Yeah? Pretty good. Yeah. You think they're going to keep it going through the rest of the day? I thought it was that good. I think they got it right. You probably, yeah, I mean, they've probably been running it for a while. Yeah. I bet you can get it today. And then tomorrow you're done. I bet. Yeah. In 2004. Yeah, I mean, Eclipse is like tough because everybody really will be over the Eclipse tomorrow. Like, you know what I mean? And this podcast comes out in two days. Oh, yeah. That's true. Yeah.
That's true. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be a tough listen for people. They were like, we saw it. Yeah. We'll have seen a million videos of it by now. Was there another one? We went to Paducah, though. That's right. This is different. Boots on the ground. Yeah. You got a different perspective. Shoe leather and knuckles.
Nate, would you say you're disappointed with it because it was not as dark as last time? No, I thought it was very cool. But ours were – yeah, I think our last time the moon was bigger. The moon has lost weight. Or it moved an inch. An inch. That was seven years ago, so seven inches, right? Yes, seven inches. Barely even on the planet. Seven years, seven inches. Yeah. And then so I – but the last one was –
The last one was the craziest. It was just in Nashville. It was a night time. It went like light, dark, light. This was like a... No, it did like this. But I mean, it was a night time. I mean, we're finding the video. You hear crickets are going crazy. I hit a golf ball. I couldn't see the golf ball. It was like hitting it dark.
You could have always seen the golf ball the whole time here. No, I think you would have lost it, but it was – you don't remember the last one? Yeah, I was there. I was in St. Louis. Were you? So you weren't in Totale. Oh, yeah, I wasn't in Totale. You had to go down a little bit to get to Totale. No, yeah. What did you do? You were in the airport? I was like Weber probably. I was in the middle of going between shows. Yeah.
Oh, you were, yeah. I was like on the road. Did you go out inside or did you look out the window? I had the glasses. I was in the airport terminal. We looked out the window. Yeah, everybody did? Yeah. Were planes taking off? Yeah, we didn't. I don't think anybody stopped. I would take, you know, you would take off during it. Yeah. Is that our drone? I don't know. We got a drone. Was it? Yeah, I think it is. Oh, I see something in my vision now, dude. I see something in my eyes. That's not good. Oh, man. Do I have what you have?
I don't know. I'm good right now. I can see something in the sky. Yeah. It's just full-blown sun right now. All the way done? All the way done. All the way done. How about it? Checkmate atheist, though, I'll tell you that. You know? What does that mean? What does that mean? How could you not believe in God after that? After the eclipse? Yeah. Somebody's in charge of that. Greg? I think it's Copernicus. Okay. Yeah. Listen, hey, if we're going to have our own pie, we've got to be on the same page. Yeah. I know, man. That might be tricky. Yeah.
Craig's belly. Already? I worked with this guy for a couple hours. I don't know, man. We're going to work it out. At the beginning, we were into it. No, I think that's the kind of podcast that needs that. Yeah, it's got to be. Yeah. I think that's good for what's going on. Good and evil, you know? Yeah. What's your shows? Yeah. I think we're about...
Let's start with me, I guess. We'll go around. This weekend, April 11th, 12th, and 13th, I'm in Grand Rapids, Michigan at Dr. Grin's Comedy Club. Next week, I'm in Omaha, Nebraska. Are you going to be in Omaha this time, Greg? No, I was there with you last time. You were there with me last time. It's going to be just me in Omaha next weekend and then Atlanta at the end of the month. That's my April. Knock them dead, man. I'm off this weekend. I was going to take my mom to the Capitol Theater to see Stephen Bargatze in Lebanon, Tennessee. Sold out!
Like father, like son. Sold out. Sorry, Mom. April 20th, I'm in Moberly, Missouri. I look at you because... I know it well. It's just right in between Kansas City and St. Louis. Right in mid-Missouri. A little bit north of Columbia where I went to college. And you think that club's at the... Is that the gateway to get into Arkansas? I mean, are you saying Missouri or...
Moberly? Moberly. Oh, it's a theater. I'm a theater comic now. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't call him. What's it like to be a Dr. Grant? Major marketer. Yeah. Yeah. We should have let Brian go first. Yeah. Yeah. We're on our way down. I'm at the 4th Street Theater in Moberly, Missouri. You got four streets? Yeah. Then April 27th, I'm in Fairfield, Connecticut at Fairfield Comedy Circle.
Go ahead, Greg. Okay. This weekend, it's a home game. The St. Charles Funny Bone. That's awesome. It's a great club. It's just a little bit away from St. Louis. Yeah, the suburb of St. Louis. And then the following weekend, where I went to college, Columbia, Missouri at the Blue Note. Let's go.
Do you need to go? Yeah, go. I don't know. It's not my podcast, man. I'm on the road. Yeah. Where are you going to? I'm in Minnesota this weekend and California the next. All right. I got to San Jose this week and then Phoenix. Taping my special this weekend.
Footprint Center, Phoenix. Excited to tape it. That's great. Can't wait. That's where the Suns play? That's where the Suns play. I won't be there to keep the audience in check, so y'all just have to behave yourselves. Yeah, yeah. We need some...
I think it's on the folks to enough it. You know, you set the trend last time. That's right. I set the tone. The last special taping? Yeah. You got them hooked? You got them going? No, no, no. He calmed them down. He calmed them down. They got too excited. He leaned up and goes, enough. And he told someone. So I think Aaron did it. He's retired from having to do that. Oh, he's done one of mine, too.
I open for you on yours. Yeah. Yeah. John doesn't know what we're talking about. He was sitting in the crowd. Oh, I thought you were on stage. No. You told a person in the crowd? No. Put his hand on his shoulder. I don't think you're kind of, yeah, I think. They're getting unruly. He opens for you. I make him buy a ticket to my show. Exactly. He goes in the crowd. Yeah. Hey, can you come? I'm filming a special. Yeah, sure. No, just sit in the crowd. Do you have a discount code or anything? He just happened to be in Phoenix that weekend. It was like, great. It worked out. Corporate.
Yeah. But you see him on the tape. Oh, yeah. I'm going to miss you by like two days. He makes quite a few appearances. He puts it on his website. I'm going to do a corporate gig in Phoenix like two days before you're there. When are you going? Thursday night. 11th? Yeah, corporate gig on Thursday night.
I got a buddy that went to film somebody special, and they put him laughing at a part that he didn't, and they got in trouble at work. Oh, really? It was like a dirty comic or something. He's like, no, I wasn't laughing at that. And they're like, no, dude, sorry, bro. He was, though.
No, he probably was. That's what I would say. No, they edited it around, dude. I was laughing at the opener, dude. I laughed for this guy. Yeah, you got to go into the office, listen. I wasn't laughing at some whatever controversial topic or something like that. I got to get that guy my next special. He's laughing. We're going to cut to you, so you better be laughing.
Good luck, Nate. Thank you. Yeah, man. Good luck. All right. All right. Well, that's it. This is our, yeah, this is travel edition. Maybe try it again. I liked it. Coming up with Duca. I want to thank McCracken High School, Amanda, my wife's best friend. She teaches here.
And so she was one that got us to be able to come out here. Sweet. Because they closed school in Paducah for this. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Football team six and seven, by the way. Are they? You looked it up? Yeah, last year. Amanda was saying they're good. That's why the field is wide open. Oh, yeah.
Joking. No, they had their punter out here was practicing. Yeah, the Mustangs. We're rooting for the Mustangs. The Mustangs are going to have a big year next year. They're going to win out. The Mustangs are going to have a big year. They lost to Trinity to close out the season 45-0. Golly. Trinity had a team, though, man.
I think Trinity cheats, to be honest. They've got all this NIL stuff. They're from Louisville. Trinity? That's Trinity. That's a big school in Louisville. They play in the Louisville Stadium, right? They play in the big one. St. X. They play where the Louisville Cardinals play. It sells out. It's the biggest thing. What?
So, all right. Well, Mustangs. Thank you. We are giant fans. Yes. And we thank you for letting us come out. All right. We hope you guys all have a great, wonderful week. And we will see you next week. We love you. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform.
Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.
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