192: #192 Florida
01:51:12 Share

Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, you're listening to us talk while you're driving, cleaning, exercising, or even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers.

who trust Progressive, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations.

Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Rocket Money, Electric E-Bikes, ZocDoc, and Butcher Box. Hello, folks, and hey, Bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bergetti, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. Boom. I switched it on. Yeah.

Brian stole my thing. What? All right. Oh, he's doing it. Yeah. For months. Yeah. Yeah. He stole my thing. Do it on the road. Buy some time. Exactly. A couple seconds here and there. Stretch it out. Yeah. I do it throughout my set. That's like you ever write, you ever, when you, you know, when you come up with a new joke and you're like, ah, I needed some time and it's 30 seconds. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And it's just so, it can be so frustrating. Yeah.

You know, your head, like, I don't know if everybody wonders this, but in your head you think you're like, I'll just build it five minute chunks at a time. I was like, this is like, I'm going to come up with four jokes and then you do it and it's 30, it might be 20 seconds. 20 seconds is a long time.

when you tell a joke 20 30 seconds build in the laughter and then it's not there and I'm like yeah it's a lot quicker than I thought well then that truly you can have a thing that you think is a minute and if the crowd's not great I mean it can become 35 30 real fast because it's like well what does it take you to say those words and just however long that sentence is is how long the because there's nothing to it I hate when you have a

like an opening local reference that's really hot and you're able to do that all weekend. And then you're like, how could I recreate this to be in my set all the time? But it never works again. But you're like, this was so good. It's better than the opener. Yeah. It's rare for it to work. We had that dead horse thing is the only thing that I had, but that wasn't even really a local thing. I was, I was, look, I was saying I was going to that mountain and,

But it was like, it was kind of like it destroyed. I had a little bit more stuff that was local that did fall to this wayside. Cape Fear Cemetery. And if you don't know what it is, you'll be hearing it this weekend when I'm at Tacoma Company Club. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When he tells them, when he does the tour of Nate on stage. Because right here is where. I remember what they were. Yeah. You talked about. Oh, the homeless people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The homeless people. Because Tacoma Company Club, it's all straight up.

It's a hill. So the clubs at the top, the hotels at the bottom. Yeah. All right. And so you have to like go up this hill. And I was like, they have a lot of homeless people. And I was like, maybe it's not homeless. It's just people that are tired. And they go up one thing of the hill. And then every street's like a new hill. And they just go, I'm going to live here now. And it murdered.

Yeah, you can do that. Yeah, I'm not even at that downtown club. They have two clubs now. Oh, really? So I'm at the cool one. Yeah, and they're very- That was Tacoma or Spokane? No, Tacoma. Tacoma. Yeah, Spokane's there. It's very confusing. I don't think the two clubs are far from each other, and they're both called the Spokane- Tacoma Comedy Club. Great comedy club, though.

Yeah. It is good. The Shields thing didn't start off as a local riff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shields was the local riff. Because I had to go in... Shields was in...

I had to go buy clothes because my clothes did not make it on the plane or something. And I landed and basically had to go to the show. So, and I had like, you know, golf stuff on. So I went and bought stuff and I went to shields to get shoes. And, uh, you went to where? Shields. Shields. Yeah. What's that?

It's a sporting goods store. You ever seen Nate's comedy? Yeah, I opened it. I don't think he's watched it. It's literally the first joke of his new special. Yeah.

Well, I did watch the new special, but I watched it at a friend's house. There's a bit about the guns. They give you access to guns. Right up an escalator. It's very much you would have a bit about this if you went into. You should go to Shields. Where is Shields? They're in like the Midwest. Like a shield? S-C-H-E-E-L-S. Apostrophe S. And I mean, some of them will have like a Ferris wheel in the middle of them.

And it's an unbelievable store. It's like a Dick's Sporting Goods on steroids. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they have hunting. They have anything you could ever dream. You could go in there. And people go in there just to walk around. Like if you're near one, if you're on the road and there's a Shields, just go. You can waste two hours, three hours in just the Shields. It's like a Bucky's, but that same idea.

When you first hear about a Bucky's and you don't know, and then you go and you're like, okay. Shills is like that, where you're like, yeah, it's like a Dick's. And then you're like, is it? And then you go there and it's something else. But it's fun. I love that you said, well, I'll watch a special at a friend's house. He wanted to see it. I wouldn't really pay attention. He was talking to me, so I didn't miss some stuff. I think I would have. The first joke. Yeah.

Hello, folks. Well, it's my neighbor. He's my buddy, but he loves drinking and he'll just, you know, we'll be watching and then he'll just start talking about something. And then we have to really be like, all right, well, let's, you know, let's get back in. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't know the three of us did comedy. Well, if, you know, I've done, you know, a lot of shows with them. That's the only reason. Yeah. Yeah.

He's not in the building when we're on stage, but he'll come in. Think about people falling asleep. I was driving this weekend. I had two comics with me. Eight-hour drive, 10 minutes in, they're both asleep the whole time. So I put on a podcast I've been wanting to listen to. And Mandel, who did the Nate Land Showcase, my buddy, he's in the front seat. He's asleep. He wakes up. He goes, oh, I've been wanting to listen to this new podcast.

I go, all right, if it'll keep you up, I'll put on a different podcast. So I switch podcasts. He falls asleep immediately. But now I'm hooked on this new podcast. He wakes up later. He goes, I want to listen to something. And I go, you can't keep. Yeah. Yeah. I'm stuck on this one now. Okay. We're doing this one. Let's have some car etiquette. Yeah. Stay awake. Yeah. Young comics. They're like homeless people.

They just sleep anywhere and everywhere. They eat anything and everything. It's just, yeah, they're tough to be around. Do you drive the whole way? I drove the whole way. But when you're around them, it's also great. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun, but you got to sit through a lot. But I made fun of him for that all weekend. He came falling asleep. That's not the most exciting drive either.

From here to Northwest Arkansas? Yeah. Arkansas is very pretty, but that's all it's got going. There ain't nothing to look at. You got to work to get to the pretty part, though. You got to put in some miles first. Anyway. There we go.

I feel like that really killed the podcast. I'm sorry, guys. How about fell asleep? Suck the energy out of the room. I wish you would fall asleep so we can have a good podcast. There's no D in Shields. It's like Shields, but instead of the D, it's an extra L. It's S-C-H-E-E-L, Postreus. It's like if Heels was using a bad alias, like Shields. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Does that make sense? Why have I never seen that? I don't know. Because it's regional.

Yeah. But you've been on the road, I would think. Yeah. I think you would see it. Maybe I just didn't know what it was. You're the clientele. Yeah. I'm shocked that you haven't seen it. Yeah. I can't wait to go. They probably sell your album there. Yeah. Go check it out. All right. You're going to walk in. All the mannequins look like you. Oh, yeah. I love that. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

I don't know who's been hiding this info from me. It's been right there. If you cared and listened to anything. I listened to your nonsense the other day. It's special. All right. I appreciate that. I got to go watch that. It's nonsense. I got through it. I appreciate that. Look at that. The whole thing?

Some of it. With a friend? No, I did it alone. All right. No, I watched it. It's great. It's great. I've been watching a little more comedy now. Yeah? I kind of sit and watch it. I'll go through specials and just kind of want to see what people are doing. See what it looks like. Yeah, yeah. See how it feels. Yeah, yeah. More than I ever have. All right. We had...

We had a good spring break. We stayed home. This weekend? Yeah, this week's spring break. Slacking off. So a lot of people go somewhere, but we stayed here and did a lot of stuff. Could have been working, though. Harper was busy. Could have been working. I took the time off. I asked for this off. I could work.

Yeah. To be fair, I don't think anybody is like, oh, is Nate not able to fill the calendar? Hang in there, buddy. Yeah. I'm not going to put in a good word for you a couple of places if you want. I'll be in Vegas this week in the Boston Garden. Okay. So you got to sit down. You don't want to burn up all your possible ticket sales. Yeah.

I'd love you to come out to one of the two shows at the Boston Garden this week. No, I'm joking. There is two shows, but I just said that. I don't think. Yeah. I say that with humility. Yeah. But Larry Bird can sort that place out by himself. No, I'm joking. Just make it work. With humility. That's with humility. I hope Larry Bird's not listening. That's all I'm saying. I just want to say, I don't think Kevin McHale would be

He couldn't do the stuff that I'm about to do this weekend at the Boston Garden. With humility. All due respect. All due respect. Well, with humility, I was in Columbia, Tennessee this weekend. I didn't know you worked the road. 30 minutes out there. I'm the I-65 comic, baby. All right.

Well, first we had a birthday party for my daughter. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah. And then I hit the road to Columbia, Tennessee at the meal house with Heather Land and Landon Bright. I think it's good that you get to tell your daughter you will be home tonight, though. After all your road gigs. I'll be home before you go to bed. Well, it's a good thing to get to sleep in your own bed. Show's good. The show was good, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's fun. I thought you said shows plural. Oh.

Maybe I did. I don't know. I just wanted you to know. I was in Columbia last weekend. My buddy Kenny. Yeah. How about that? He lives out there. I could have got you a guest set. Yeah. They do a show weekly? No. No. It really doesn't make sense. Not last night when you were there. Maybe. Was I there when you were there? Maybe. I don't know.

I don't know. Mine might have been like a couple weeks. I called you on the way home from there. Yeah, yeah. It was a couple weeks ago. You got that kind of power, though, to get them a guest spot? Probably not. Yeah. Make a few phone calls. See what happens. Yeah. I was in Northwest Arkansas at the Grove Comedy Club. Got a lot of requests for my plant joke, dude. People kept coming up asking me. All right. Upset that I didn't do the joke. Were they yelling it out from the audience? They weren't yelling it out. They were respectful about it. They got to do it. They would say it afterwards.

Would you tell them? I got a little more confidence in it now. You could sell that as merch. Plants? No, you're playing a joke. Put the whole thing on the back of the shirt. I'm saying you go tell it. If you want to hear it. Guys, I got a plant joke. If you want to hear it, $5, I'll tell you in the corner. Yeah. And then you get a group. And then you get a group of like, all right. I mean, I think the whole place might be like, what if we all give you $5? You just stay here and you go.

I'm shocked you didn't do the plant joke, though, this weekend. Like, after being on the podcast. I'm shocked you didn't do it. Well, enough people are asking me about it after. I'll just save it, and then people will talk to me about it afterwards. Yeah. And it's not that good of a joke. They're coming to see it, though. But if you keep doing it, it will get better. Okay. You'll find the... If you want me to tell it, yell it out, and I'll finish it. Yeah, you know. What? Find a spot to say, yell it out at the beginning when you walk out. Mm-hmm.

Or intermittently. Every 30 seconds or so throughout the show until I do it. At this point, I can afford to go yell it out whenever you want and I'll tell it. Yeah. That means someone's there. I hope to God this becomes a problem. I hope someone's there to yell it. You know? Yeah. To go yell it out. You want me to hear the plant joke? We don't know what you're talking about. All right.

So I had a comic with me this weekend. John DeToy, who you guys know. Yeah. Local guy. He hosted the shows. Thought I was going to be a woman. He's very funny. John DeToy. You thought John would be a woman? John De. Oh, did I say? Oh, John De. Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious. John De. Jeff Toy's sister. Yeah. Wow. John DeToy. Okay. John. Last take a little time. DeToy. Oh, okay. Yeah. So he's a very funny comic. Came with me. He also does a little bit of yo-yo.

John, so he does a little bit of a yo-yo in his act. It looks like me in the, it would nunchuck. And he would talk about it. He would talk about it on stage and he would say, you know, I used to be a professional yo-yo player and it would get like tepid applause. But what John would say is he's, he was literally the number one yo-yo is in the world. This is a former number one, yo-yo competitive yo-yo artist.

In the world. He retired. And then last year he was like, I want to get back in it. He trained for a little bit. Now he's the defending number two player.

yo-yo artist i don't know what the word is what do you start at three the stuff he can do with that i mean it's incredible to watch man i know yeah i'm joking i know it's so funny though yeah anyway it's just a fun little special treat i was saying on stage i was like even if i stink

You saw the number one yo-yo person in the world. Well, and he could come back on. That's an act that you could bring back out. If I'm bombing, yeah, John. If you're bombing, you go John. Come on out here, dude. John to... John to...

Come walk the dog out here. He comes out without his yo-yo. Like, no, bring the yo-yo. Yeah, that's crazy. He's funny, too. I knew he did this, and I've never seen it. And, yeah, that's crazy. It almost seems like the last name is made up, though, that he's a yo-yo guy like John DeToy. You know what I mean? DeToy. He's got toy in his name. That's pretty good. Yeah, he's DeToy. That is a good name. John DeToy Nero.

He put on a show. I mean, that's after the show, we were hanging out at the brewery. Yeah. The owner of the club owns a brewery next door. So everyone always goes over there and they're like, let's see some more yo-yo tricks. He was just putting on. I mean, it's unbelievable. Let's get that plant joke and some yo-yo tricks over here at the brewery. I know. I mean, that's a workout. Well, to even know. Yeah. To even know what you're doing. Like it's I can't even make it go up.

back up really. It goes down and then I have a pretty hard time to get it. He's doing them with one on each hand. Yeah. And he's doing all kinds of stuff. There are a couple tricks where the string comes off the finger. It's completely gone from his hand. Oh, really? And then he'll like catch it and then put it back on somehow. It's amazing.

I bet you get hit in the face a lot with a yo-yo though. Like practicing. How did he get into this? I don't know. You know, everybody has one as a kid. You try it out once and you just keep going with it. He just kept going. He told me when he did, he did NACA for a while putting on these shows and he would do a trick during a show where he would put a quarter on somebody's ear and then like knock it off with a yo-yo. I can do that. You can do that? Yeah.

Might hit him. There's going to be some collateral damage, but that quarter will be gone. It seems he didn't touch the quarter, but he hit the man in the head. Yeah. And that guy moved. That seems brutal to do that in front of college students, though. Go to NACA to do yo-yo stuff. He's number one in the world. Number one in the world. But you still got to, I think when you're number one in the world, people still are like,

That's number one in the world. Right. No matter what someone is, if you meet anybody, as someone that has to meet a lot of people like this because of my dad. Oh, sure, sure. There's a lot of like, my dad, I'll meet someone, it's like, this guy is the number one in the world to do this, whatever it is. So there is, but...

To get to that level, yeah. I'd like to see a Mortal Kombat where John Dutoy is like a special character that comes on and just fights with the yo-yo. You know, like you unlock that character. John Dutoy, finish him.

He just yo-yos him. Anyway, it was fun to have him around. You guys know that game? Yeah. He hosted. It was all right. We gave that what it got. He hosted? Yeah, yeah. He was host. Yeah. You look like a beard trim. Yeah, I got to clean up a little bit. Yeah, you look like a mess. I'm in Vegas next week. I'll clean up before that. Yeah. You guys are in Vegas at the same time?

No, he's a week before. Thank God for him. Watch last week's podcast. Check it out. We have a podcast together. Check it out. We covered that in depth.

We do a long podcast. Us four. All four of us, yeah. Oh, yeah. You don't remember it either. Anyway, thank you to everybody who came out in Arkansas. It was a fun, fun weekend. What was it last week? There was another profession that obscured. You were kind of making fun of the same thing. You're the top three. I can't remember what it was now. I'm not making fun of you. I'm going to see him tonight.

All right. I'm not making fun of that. I didn't know what to do. The joke was there. I know. Of course. If I had other comedians around the table, they would have said it. But I'm alone, so I'm the one that got to put it out. Oh, I'd like to tell you guys, I went to Hartford, Connecticut, and I met J.C. Lee Polford that does Batesville. She came to my show. Nice. She's great. Yeah.

I didn't get to, you know, I didn't work with the number one yo-yo guy in the world, but I did, you know, I did. Did he host? He was the host. Wow. So he goes up and does his act and then says, I do this in New York City. We're coming back to it, Dustin. What'd you say? Oh, you went to New York City? Yeah. You know, I did some things too. And, you know. You were on the bonfire. Yeah. We're having a good time out here. Crackle, crackle. Yeah, it was.

Yeah, I was on the bonfire and a guy commented on Twitter with a picture. And he goes, that guy was mad boring. And so I guess I am, you know, I am pretty boring next to Big Jay and Robert Kelly. Like, you know, they're talking about some pretty wild stuff. And I'm like, well, I'm not doing I'm not doing any of that. But yeah, well, they're out there. We had a good time.

Did you and Robert share the story about when y'all worked together? No, we did talk about working together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, they're doing good. They're Soder, uh, Soder's doing great and they're doing Bobby and, uh, Jay. Yeah. What'd you do spots in New York? No, I just went, I did that and I did like, uh, barstool sports. Oh yeah. Yeah. And then, uh,

Yeah, and then I went to Hartford, Connecticut. Did the fun thing. Oh, you just came in for like one- Yeah, I just did two days there, hung out. Mainly went around the city and smoked some cigars with my buddies. It was a lot of fun. You didn't go to any clubs or anything? Oh, no. I was-

I'm there for the hang. Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I, you know, it's like I go to the club. I do three hours of comedy. I have a great time. A little over, you know, I do a little over an hour a show. And, but it's like, if I get a spot, you know, I don't know. I'm doing, you know, five or 10 minutes and then I got, then I got to watch a lot of comedy. And so, all right. But I just did some podcasts. That's good. No, I get it. KFC radio. Yeah. KFC radio. And there's some other thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, you're listening to us talk while you're driving, cleaning, exercising, or even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers.

who trust Progressive, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National averaged 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations.

The Instagram guy. What's that? The guy that goes, come closer. I don't like that guy, though. I know what you're talking about. I wasn't thinking of it. The guy in the bathroom mirror. Yeah. Come closer. Yeah. I was doing some form of that. Yeah. What's he do? I don't know. He's sharing like nose tremors. No, he does like.

he's just doing videos just like rants about stuff and he just does it like in his bathroom and then he'll go come here and then he when he says come here the camera zooms in but I like it it's a good hook for a video yeah yeah it was like the first time I saw it like it was you know great he tells like but he has good like fast food secrets or I don't know you know but it's yeah it's on the thing it's fun he's fun but yeah uh

Tried to get him before Aaron. So now Aaron's doing that thing. That guy's put together. Yeah. This mess comes from Arkansas. Like he was out in a deer stand all week. He goes. Went out to Shields. Yeah. Where'd you spend the night? Outside? Where's the green bird?

I think Aaron looks good. Huh? What's wrong with Aaron? He looks good. Oh, he looks fine. I mean, look, he's got a camo. You don't think he looks like a deer? I'm not crazy by going, you look like a deer. No, no, no. It makes sense. It makes sense. That's not far off. But I think if you were just listening, they wouldn't have known. You sound very good. You sound normal. Yeah, that's what it's all about. Yeah, but the people that watch Aaron Land. Well, that's true. Aaron Land, I mean, he's got his own show.

So, Air Land's going to be, they're like, our boy. What happened to our boy this week? He goes, Arkansas is taking him. So, Alabama goes to Arkansas. All right. Your comments. Sandy Kelps. Sandy Kelps. That's a good name. That sounds like some aquatic stuff. Sandy Kelps.

Oh, yeah. Totally aquatic. Sandy kelps. Yeah, kelp. A lot of sand in it. Oh, okay. A lot of sand in that kelp. I really liked Dusty's idea of going through the song, I've Been Everywhere. Yeah.

It would have been cool if any of you guys would have shared a memory from some of those places to make that bit work better. Sandy, yes. This is Dusty's burner account here. Yeah, and it sounds like a burner account name, Sandy Kelps. The hardest part, that's the name you stay in the hotels under. Ask for Sandy Kelps. The hardest part of listening was hearing you mention a city and then not knowing where it was located. Winslow, for example, is a big part of the Eagles song, Take It Easy.

It was hard because I was yelling into my phone at you guys, but of course you couldn't hear me. Well, you are right about that, Winslow. But it's like when you're just reading a list of songs, you don't necessarily think about it. I love that song, Take It Easy, and I know that line, but I didn't think about it when we were doing it. But I was also defending my overall idea, so it was hard to focus on the city names. Mm-hmm.

I mean, I kind of loved it. I felt bad for you because that's me every week. Yeah. Without something and get shot down. Well, it's like you, we, we got to ask you to bring an idea. And it felt like you thought about it. You remembered it the second you got out of your truck, but walked inside and said, what if we name all the songs from this? What if we go? No, no, no, no, no. It was the opposite. I could tell by based on the conversation,

He discussed it with Aaron the day before. We had talked about it. I thought about it for a long time. And then as soon as we got into it, and Aaron sensed that Nate was not on board, he bailed on Dusty Quick. How long is this song? He was out of there. Well, when I'm running the computer, I feel a little bit of pressure to, you know what I mean, not just sit in it. So that part made me feel good. If we would have known where these cities are,

Like if you had typed in to go like. But that was the point, though. Had you if had we been there, you would have any reference to go. If you just go Winslow, I don't know what that means. But if I were said standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona, Winslow, what's it near? But if you like, it's near there, you go, OK, I've been around. Maybe I've been to Scottsdale and I've been near Winslow. You know what? I've actually been pretty close to Winslow. But what if you had just done comedy in Winslow?

for instance. Maybe. I mean, that's, you know. He just did Columbia, Tennessee. Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

You know what? I'm on fire today. Yeah. That is true. It's coming off me. I don't do the city. I do some outskirt 30 minutes away to no one turn up. That's what I'm saying. You're going to see him in Jackson County this week. That's what I'm saying. What's his name? Tennessee, Jackson County? Jackson, Tennessee. Jackson, Tennessee. Yeah, there's both. Yeah. All right.

Yeah, sorry. Thank you, sir. I'm in a fiery mood. Yeah, you can tell you're off this weekend. Yeah. Finally bringing some energy to this podcast. Bringing some energy, yeah. I got my rant out downstairs. That's right. These guys all took a bullet. Yeah, I wish we had recorded that. For the podcast. And then, yeah, we're having a roast for John Chris tonight, kind of, for his birthday. I mean, this would already have happened.

So I got to be in that. It's a surprise, too. It's a surprise. Yeah. Are we all doing it? I didn't get invited. Well, you're coming. I get there. No one has invited me. I understand that. You don't. Oh. You know, this energy. He doesn't even know anybody that's coming. They really didn't, though. I'm not offended, but they really didn't. No one told me about it at all. That's because his girlfriend. His girlfriend put together a real list. Yeah, I met her.

I went to his party. He did. But you got to realize, you're not... He spoke at your album release. Yeah, we know each other very well. But you know him very well.

I know her fairly well. No, you don't know her that well. I don't know. Are you guys hanging out having tea with her on the weekends? No, but they're more open people to hang out with. You're not the easiest to – I can see a girl. They've been dating for a couple years now or something. You can make a lot of excuses for her, but you didn't invite her. No, no. I think I'm correct because I don't think you give off energy that goes, I bet Dusty wants to come to this. We'll see. His girlfriend did not invite me. Lucy did.

So, nevermind. But Lucy. I know Lucy pretty well too. Well, I think she sees you enough. Yeah, pretty well. But I appreciate the invite though, guys. I'm happy to be there. I hope the party goes well. I,

I hope John has a good time. You should, we're roasting. So you should, you know what would be great? Yeah. If you come and then I'll bring you on stage and then you just go, you just trash him for not being inviting. I just roast his girlfriend. Just for not inviting. For not inviting. Yeah. It would be, I would even, I would go up and bring you up as just literally, please welcome Dusty Slay. And it's just, let me tell you, cause you didn't get invited. It would be very funny.

It would be glass break, stone cold music, dusty walks out, but then I'd leave cause they didn't invite you. So then I would leave pretty quickly. Oh yeah. I'd get right out of there. Yeah. Who wants to stay at a party? They're not invited to. Not me. I don't know. I just, just to clarify, it's Monday. It's already passed when this podcast comes out. It's already happened. Yes. It's already happened. So we'll see how it goes. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think she knew to invite, like, you know. I guess. Well, you're not a roast guy anyway. Yeah, but you weren't. I'm not a roast guy. I sincerely doubt you were genuinely overlooked. This is like, this was kind of thrown together. It was a mistake. It was a genuine oversight. I didn't know. I thought everybody was invited, but yeah. It's okay. I knew about it though. I mean, this is not a surprise. I like bringing it up though. Yeah. Oh, you knew about it? I knew about the party, but I also knew that I wasn't invited. How'd you know about it? I don't know.

I don't know. I think Brian. We were shooting that video together when I got the text. Yeah. We did a hot chicken video together. Oh, but did you say I'm with Dusty? I'll tell him. No, because I didn't want to get ostracized. Oh, that's on you a little bit. Yeah. Maybe they thought you were going to say. They go, oh, Brian's filming something with Dusty. Save a little bit of time. Just text Brian about it. Obviously, he'll tell Dusty. That's never the way to handle it. Oh, but that's I mean, I think you should have secondhand. It's a little bit on you. Imagine.

a wedding invite you're like oh no i didn't invite you to the wedding because i i was texting with a wedding invites a little more formal than this this is a powwow i got a letter for this thing they mailed me a letter but it wasn't just a i don't know if i got invited i don't uh they told laura

I'll check with my wife. Maybe they told Hannah. Yeah, I'll find out. I thought you were in the cabin. Pretty much everyone's invited. It's your fault. I don't know what you're talking about.

How is it my fault? You should have told him. I did tell him. To be fair, though, it is your wife sending the invite. Don't drag my family into this. Yeah. I got a text from Lucy saying, if you want to roast John Chris. And I told Dusty, I just got a text from Lucy. And I thought in that moment, well, I'll get invited soon enough. She sent a message saying, do you guys want to roast John Chris? And Brian goes, oh, she just invited me.

Yeah. That's crazy, dude. Yeah. It should be a shame. Yeah. She might've just texted you to say, you tell the guys. That's true. Actually, I really, I was supposed to tell you and Aaron. Yeah. And you did it. You did not tell us. Well, I'm sorry. You guys are invited. How'd you guys find out? I, uh, I forgot. And then it was, but I think they, Laura, Abigail. All right.

All right. We'll have John on soon, though. At least I got Sandy Kelps in my corner. You do. Great name. Cody Wildman. Cody Wildman. Cody Wildman. Yeah, it's Wildman. Cody Wildman. What a fun name. I used to be a bodyguard for Rory Allen, an Elvis impersonator in Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan.

scat touches you and...

How do you say it? Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan. And we performed a few shows in Gravelburg. You may ask, does an Elvis in person need a bodyguard? It depends on how much the ladies in the audience drink. Anyway, your mention of Gravelburg brought back a lot of good memories. Thank you. Wow. Wow. That's crazy that someone has done a show in Gravelburg. Is that in the song? Did we mention that? Yeah, it was one of them. Yeah.

I put that in for you, Dusty, to help you with your case. Do you think Rory Allen, though, wanted the... I guess he did want the bodyguard or else he wouldn't have hired him. I bet it becomes... It's like he says, like, do they need a bodyguard? It depends if they drink. I mean, dude, women can be... Like, if they're going there and it's like, you can probably get out of control real quick. And if you're really working...

then like if this guy was really on the road, it would just be like every city. Like I can't. It was really convincing to really look like Elvis. Can we see what Rory Allen looks like? Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan. Yeah, I'll look him up. It's a good name. Saskatchewan. Oh, this was a, this is a famous, a famous Elvis in person. Oh yeah. Rory Allen. Let's look at some photos.

I mean, he looks like kind of the young Elvis. Yeah, yeah. Well, maybe that's... I'm sure he's doing a great job, but... But he's not trying to be the young Elvis. He's trying to be... Well, this is the age I think of when I think of Elvis. You think there may ever be someone doing that to comedians?

Could there ever be a cover impersonator? Yeah. Like someone just goes, I just do all, I don't, I do all George Carlin or yeah. Yeah. You just memorize all George Carlin bits. It doesn't make sense for comedy. Yeah. You know, they'll just do AI generated stuff. Uh, Aaron Rodriguez, but is it spelled? Not like the typical, uh, curious to know what Nate's take is on soda with breakfast.

Years ago, we sat down for breakfast with my wife's extended family and her aunt's entire family ordered Pepsi. How does this fit into his all breakfast or all lunch sentiment? I ordered soda for breakfast. If I had to pick. That's crazy. If I had to pick where I would, if you didn't let me have soda, I would pick breakfast as the only, like, don't take it from me from breakfast. I love it that much.

Wait, what is that? I'll drink Dr. Pepper Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi in the morning with my breakfast. But I'm saying if you were like, all right, you can only have soda for one of your meals. Oh, okay. I didn't say it right. But if you have it for one of your meals, I would say I would choose breakfast over the other meals. That's a much better way to say it. And if you couldn't have it for the other meals, what would you drink? I probably wouldn't drink.

A sweet tea or something. Yeah. Something where they would go, well, I guess just go ahead and keep that soda. So you don't want a coffee? I don't want it with food. I don't like coffee with food.

Normally, I won't eat breakfast. So you'll have an omelet and a Pepsi? Yeah. I love it. That's wild, man. Omelet and Pepsi. I think that's wild, too. I'll have French toast, pancakes for the Pepsi. Come on. That's maybe my favorite thing I've ever had. Let's say in this first sentence, that's a capital B in breakfast. How does that change it?

Soda with Brian. Would I have soda with Brian? Yeah.

What's your take on a soda with breast? Well, I love it because the whole Calgate started with me asking you if you could ever be difficult on the road. And when you share stories like everyone has to order what I say for breakfast, I look at the camera like Jim from The Office and kind of wink. There you go. Well, you should let them know people can order. At least show that I'm not – I prefer. But you might get made fun of if you don't. But I'm not going to not let you. Yeah.

Yeah. Order. But I look, all this being said, I will drink Dr. Pepper last night. What about a bourbon and Coke? Well, last night's different than in the morning. I'll have it morning and... It's more about the morning. It just feels weird to drink a Diet Pepsi on like an early flight. You'll get a Diet Pepsi on a flight. Yeah. That's crazy. I wouldn't even drink orange juice or anything like that. I mean, normally, if I fast, I don't.

So I won't drink. When I fast, I won't drink any of this. Do you drink water? Yeah. I've been pounding water a lot recently. I just keep my water so bad. But yeah, soda, I mean breakfast, that's almost where I would, you know, I love it. But you know what? Me and Laura went and ate the other day after we laid off church and they had brunch. It's in North Italia.

And they had brunch and she got breakfast and I did not. So I will say that was that an issue the whole meal. But in theory, that's what brunch is. Yes. But it was I had like this pizza that was like kind of they had a breakfast pizza. And then the pizza I had was wasn't a break. It was like hot honey pizza.

Oh yeah. Pizza or something. Sounds great. Yeah. And so it was, uh, it was like not, it felt that crazy to me, but I mean, I will agree that I was, I immediately already lied and messed, but maybe I'll, I'll let Laura do it, but other comedians I expect better of. Right. Yeah. And then, but so it happened this week, I already gave up. I was like, I'm already giving up on it, you know, but she's someone that can't skip. Yeah.

Like Laura, I could wake up and eat a hamburger. I could just move straight through. Laura has to, in her head, has to eat breakfast, like has to have some form of breakfast. I mean, it could be a bite of a muffin.

To then, and then can move on. When I opened for John Chris to Mississippi, we woke up late on the bus. We went to a Red Lobster at like noon. And John woke up late. He had to stop at McDonald's and get breakfast before he came to Red Lobster. Yeah. And eat. Cause he's like, I have to start with breakfast. Yeah. I can't jump into the day with lunch food. Oh yeah. I thought that was wild. Yeah. I can, I can jump in pretty, I can get there quick. I had a burger for breakfast on Sunday. Yeah.

I can get right into it too. What'd you have with it? What'd you drink with it? I had a water, just water. See, I don't know if I drink. That's my theory with me eating. I think if I only drank water, I would probably eat a lot better because I don't, a hamburger doesn't seem good to me with water. The reason I'm there is for the Diet Coke.

See, I associate Diet Coke with – I wouldn't want pizza without a Diet Coke. I wouldn't want – if I had to drink water with it, like that is disgusting to me. I think that you just go for eating the food. I think that even like drinking while eating can affect your digestion. Mm-hmm.

Because you're supposed to like, your saliva is supposed to like, it's all part of the breaking down process of the food. Do you have any foods that you would rather drink sweet tea over a soda? Like Thanksgiving type stuff. What about like a pie? I don't really like a pie. You don't like a pie? Like an apple pie and a sweet tea? I like pecan pie. Oh, I like pecan pie too. But I don't like apple. I don't like pie. I'm not a big pie guy. I love a pie. Yeah. I eat apple pie.

I mean, I would eat cake and ice cream and have a soda with it. Because I'm, I mean, I'm similar if it's pizza or burger, I got to have a soft drink over water. Right. Or ideally, but if it's like Cracker Barrel Southern cooking, then I'd rather have a sweet tea. It just seems like it. Yeah. I mean, I can see that. It feels like it goes with it too. Yeah. But yeah, but I, you know, it depends on, yeah. All right.

Cole Woga, man. We got some last names today, man. Uh, it's Wagaman. Wagaman. Wogo, man. It should be Wogo, man. It should be Wogo, man. Cole Wogo, man. And you're like, well, what do you do? That's with the last name? Like Wogo, man, you'd go, well, what do you do? Cause that sounds like a guy that does something, you know, you don't meet a Cole Wogo, man. And you're like, what do you put on a show? I think you can see a show. What do you think he does? Uh,

I don't even know, but I think if you ask Cole Wogo, man, to get on stage, he'd put on a pretty good show. He's going to have a yo-yo. He's going to have a yo-yo. He's going to have a little bit of everything. He's top five in the world. Yeah. I remember going to one of Aaron's first ever comedy shows at the club at Notre Dame to show my support.

Oh, you know this guy. Yeah, this is my buddy from college. That's why I knew his name. Does he put on a show? No. I believe his opening joke was, to me, a bag of trail mix is just a bag of M&Ms with obstacles. I remember that joke. I think, right? Did you have that joke? Yeah, he kind of butchered the wording of it. But yeah, yeah, that's the idea. It's funny. I think a bag of trail mix is just a bag of M&Ms with a bunch of obstacles in it.

That's good. A bunch of other stuff in the way is how I would say it. That was a hot joke. I was thinking that I was with you on this show, but

But that would, this one, because we did the, what was that thing we did in Notre Dame? The drop. Open mic material for quite a while now. Yeah. The drop. Tell the plant job, now I got to do this trail mix. I've had this, everybody at the Grove is like, he did, he opened and closed with that trail mix stuff. You really outed me, Cole. Yeah. I'm glad your friends can talk to you through the podcast. Yeah.

Whoa, man. Maybe just text that next time. Whoa, go, man. He's been listening from day one. Cole's a good buddy. Cole's a good guy. I'm joking. To you and to the podcast. That's right. Yes. So much so that you're like, whoa, go, man. Whoa. What does he do? He works in D.C. He works in politics. Whoa, go, man. Yeah.

Senator Wogo. If it was pronounced Wogo, man, I think his life would be different. I think so, too. We wouldn't be friends. No, y'all would be friends. You'd just meet him doing comedy. You met him on this circuit and not the college circuit. Mallory Lockhart. If someone recognizes you in public, are you okay with them asking for a photo or an autograph?

Are there times you'd rather not be approached? Love you guys. I think it's for Brian. I'll take this one. I was waiting to make the same joke. Dusty, did you want to say it as well? Yeah. You're all thinking it. I would bet in a neutral site,

Dusty gets recognized more than Nate just because he has a distinctive look. I got a lot going on. I'm a real logo man. I'm saying at the airport, for instance, you can spot Dusty from a distance. Yeah, it's a flag walking around. What's the old Chris Rock joke? You're famous from 10 feet away. Dusty's famous from...

from a mile yeah yeah yeah you spot him oh yeah first all right you go that's a woman that's dusty that is what happens to me people say if i'm not if i don't look like this they'll go they'll go i heard you talk and then i was like oh i know that guy yeah i've had that happen yeah where people know your voice uh i always say i would i'll do it i love taking picture and yeah me too i don't mind it

I find the autograph is weird because I just think that it's like me signing my name is worthless, but it doesn't bother me to do it.

You got a good looking signature though. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, I'm okay, but I just, I don't know. It seems like, like as a person that used to get people's autographs, it feels weird to be the guy doing it. I'm like, Oh, who am I to be doing this? Right. Right. But you know, I don't mind doing it. I've had to sign a lot more pictures, like guys waiting outside the bus or something where they're doing that.

I did have some guys do that recently and I was like, they had a stack. I was like, I'll do two of these. I was like, that's too much. I don't know what you're doing here. It just seems too weird. I said, yes. It's so funny that you already, your first time ever, like you're always like, first time it happened to me, I was like blown. I would have signed.

Anything and everything. But if it were 100, you'd be like, I'm not doing it. They just seem like shady dudes. I know. But I've had... Recently, we had them and they had a bunch. And then they did it where someone went and got them and said he'll do...

three of these. He's not doing all of them. But I'm saying it happens a lot. I was like, when it first happens, you're like, this is crazy, dude. Of course. And I couldn't believe it. So I'm saying I would have signed it. I think it's very funny that the first time it happened to you, you've already told them no. Yeah. I said, I'll do a couple of these, but I don't know what, it just weirds me out. You're waiting at the show. You got a stack of them in some FedEx envelope. And it's like, why do you want me to sign all of these?

Because if you have a, either you're, I don't know, trying to sell them or you're, you got some weird shrine going on. Either way, I'm not trying to do. Well, I think they do try to sell them and I'm not, it's, or they put them on eBay or they do whatever. But,

uh yeah it's like i always offer it's like at least come to the show yeah you suggest it yeah i say y'all want to do a picture yeah and i always take them off guard like oh okay i hate to say no i asked today i ran into the store and i had to go to apple and i had a lady i was like you want to take a picture i say it a lot because i can tell i just feel like i'm trying to guess like i can tell that i think they want to but they're trying to be polite and then so i'm just like

But then that's a risky move because sometimes they're like, oh, I don't. Okay. And then you're like, well, I don't have to take a picture. You're like, you don't take a picture with my phone. Yeah. You're a big enough act where even most people don't like how they look in photos, but you're big enough where it's worth it to them, even if they don't feel like they look good to post it. I'm the type where the majority of people take pictures of me. I never see it because they're like, ah, that's not worth it.

Because you don't look good in it. They're like, I look great. If we could crop him out. That would be, can you imagine if you see a picture that someone's using and it's from you after a show where you're cut out. A little bit of Brian's head. Just see my arm. It just says, we had a great time at the comedy show.

I got that Gerald Ford right out of there. It's like the girl that I've told that story, but I was at your show and I was on it and I remember her and she didn't remember me. That's so funny. I mean, that's so good. Yeah. Hey, we had to show us. Yeah. Are you? Yeah.

That's when you're like, yeah, I was sitting next to you. You don't go, I was on it. I did 20 minutes. But Brian will do that. He'll tell him, yeah, I was on the show. He says it like he, you will just say it to him exactly. Well, I did. They're like, were you? You're like, nah. He isn't like a Nate fan. Jay Fitts.

Jay Fed, right? Feed? Feed, maybe. Dusty Pre- Maybe Jethede. Jethede. Dusty previously said people should wake to the sunlight to preserve circadian. Circadian. Circadian. I thought those only come every four years.

That's a cicada joke. They're keeping the rhythm out there. They do keep a good rhythm. Yeah, they do. Yeah, we don't mind them.

Dusty, do they come every four years or something? There's like one that comes every seven and one that comes every 21 or something. I think there's one that comes every like 13. Yeah. Where do they go? And every, underground. And they just live. So they're living. I think this is the year for one of them. Yeah. They're like grubs, right? And then they become those little skeletons on the tree. They emerge from the skeleton on the tree.

So what are they doing on the ground? Just hanging out. Waiting. Yeah. One summer job I had, I had to sweep all these cicada carcasses off the top of a building. It was so many, dude. Yeah. Millions of them. Yeah. Just dead cicadas.

You swept them off, huh? I used to collect them. Sweat them into a pile. This is too much for a collection. Yeah. Too much. Did you do like an estimate, like a section and count them? Or how'd you come up with that number? Yeah. Yeah. I did some sampling. Yeah. Dusty previously said people should wake to the sunlight to preserve circadian rhythm.

In this episode, he says he is fine with people in Knoxville having nine o'clock sunrise in a permanent daylight savings time. Adding, if they don't like it, they can just move. Well,

Well, I think people often misinterpret what I'm saying. I'm saying in an ideal world, we would wake up when the sun comes up, irregardless. I know that's not a word, but regardless of the time, we would wake up when the sun comes up and then we would go to sleep when it goes down. Maybe we're up for a couple hours with some candles or whatever, but I'm not saying, but I just think it's better to have the daylight longer in the day.

than in the morning. You can wake up, have yourself a Coke, wait for the sun to come up and then go to work. For wherever you're living at that time. Yeah. But then you get sun later in the day.

Come on, J-Thed. Well, you've already replied to him on YouTube. I thought that's a funny comment. I'm going to go ahead and post it anyway. Yeah. It's hard to find comments that Dusty has already told him what he thinks. I try to not do it every week, but sometimes I'll be – like this Wednesday, I was at the airport when the podcast came out. So I'm just hanging out, and I'm like, oh, the podcast is out. Let's see what people are saying. And then I'm like –

here we go. In the trenches, dude. He's not even on his phone. He's got his computer out. Here we go. Is that like a gamer desk? Yeah. Like where they have the seat and the headphones and he's just like, hey, I didn't mean that.

We can move if you want to move. Yeah. Move. You know what I mean? It's five o'clock somewhere. What are I going to sign? No, no autographs. People just coming up. What are you trying to do with that?

Aaron West. My wife and I got married in 1997 before digital cameras. For some reason, my wife always blinks during photos. So when the giant frame wedding photo arrived, we noticed that they painted in her left eye because she blinked. To this day, it hangs in her parents' house.

Wow. Is there a picture of it or no? No. I guess we'll just have to imagine it. I looked up. It's still the Elvis impersonator on my computer. So she only blinked one eye, huh? That's a wink. Well, I'm sure it just probably made one get started. I wonder if they do the exact same time or if one's... You got one eye. It's a little quicker than the other. You had one recently. They had to fix one eye, right? Well, they messed it up. It's on there.

cover of a magazine. Oh, they messed it up. I thought they just caught you in mid blink. Caught you in a weird time. No, no, no. The picture was approved, but then they did something because they have to, for the magazine, it's just, it's a touring magazine. So it's not like a, you go buy it. Men's health or something. And so it's, so they put it,

They had to move it around, so then my right eye is kind of like half shut. They wanted your head in front of the words. Yes. So they cut out your head, and then they didn't align it with the... Yeah. It's a little off. It's a little off. Troy Meeker. I would love to read a book by Nate, Dusty, or even Aaron. Have you ever guys thought about that? Yeah. Your book would be...

No ghostwriter, just. I didn't even get mentioned. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true. At least you got an even in there. What would you write a book about? Your memoir? Yeah. Your memoir. First 100 pages before you start comedy. Yeah. The Audacity of Despair. Brian Bates memoir. What is that?

Remember Obama's book? It's funny in my head. I just didn't know it. I don't know. Let's say Troy's right. What would you guys be about? I would write a story. A novel. I used to write novels when I was a kid. Amazing.

Did your mom keep them? Yeah, my mom's kept a couple of them. She has them somewhere. I got to find them. Can we read them? Bring them in. I'll bring them in. Is it in a book? Yeah, it's in a binder. So we can read it? Mm-hmm. All right. Maybe do the book club with your book. Yeah. That'd be good. Yeah, that'd be fun. I like that.

Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, you're listening to us talk while you're driving, cleaning, exercising, or even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what.

Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. Uh...

Nick Ventura. Ventura. Ace Ventura. Yeah. I completely and totally agree with Dusty on the TSA topic. This is a big pro-Dusty day. These people are out there. Yeah, we found them.

It is absolutely ridiculous. All the measures we have to go through to get on a plane. We are not the criminals. Right. They are. Yeah. No, he didn't say that. Oh, okay. Sorry, I wasn't reading along.

You're not the criminals there. Yeah, you got it, buddy. You got it, Nick. Metal detector is fine, but everything else is stupid. I want to hang out and have a convo with Dusty so badly. Every Wednesday is a blast with you guys. Keep up the great work. Thanks, Nick. You and Nick could become friends. Yeah, let's get together, me and you and Sandy Kelps. Yeah. Yeah, I would disagree with you and Nick, but... You want the most security. Well, I just feel like we've, you know, I mean...

9-11 has been over 20 years. So now everybody's kind of, you know, forgetting about it. And so you never forget. No. And then the shoe bomber guy happened right after that. So that's when we got to stop. Yeah. But how would they stop that stuff if they didn't have security? Like no metal detector? Well, I think a metal detector, you know, you make sure people, you know, go through something. You don't have guns. You don't have knives. But the rest of the stuff there. There are four guns, though. Yeah.

Yeah, but I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm fine with a metal detector, but it's like, yeah, I mean, like no water. You can't bring your water in here. And it's like, and I got honey taken from me one time and it's just, I couldn't take my thing of yogurt through the other day. It's like, come on, guys. The toothpaste where they're like, that's a big tube. And then like, if you, you know, it's like, you know, you have to go through, if you do pre-check, you don't have to do the x-ray machine, right? But if you, if you get...

randomly selected, you do have to go into the x-ray machine. And if you have a problem with doing the x-ray machine, like maybe you don't want your body shot up with radiation, you go, oh, I'd just like to opt out and do a pat down. Then they really come at you hard. Like you're like some kind of criminal. And it's like, well, what I did was I just bought a ticket to

And that ticket is funding you to have this job. I'm the customer here. And you're over here patting me down like I'm some sort of criminal. I got no record. I got no, you know, there's never been an incident with me in an airport. And it's like- You think they have the access to look up your record? I bet they do. I thought you did have a record. I'm a person at TSA. I bet they do. Hold on a second. It's good. No record. I bet some, I mean, you know, they scanned your ID. So all that stuff comes up. Yeah. I do.

No, I got arrested when I was younger, but I got youthful offender, and so that's been wiped from my – Expunged. And it wasn't a violent offense. Sure. It wasn't – I wasn't sneaking weapons into a government facility. Well, to get – you're clear, right? Yes. To get that, you do a background check. Well, TSA pre, also you do. I'm sure they do a pretty – I mean, I think they do more of a background check for TSA than they do for clear. Mm-hmm.

The Hartford airport, by the way, what a mess. It was the TSA, the clear, the lines were so long. It was unbelievable. They're like, it's spring break. I'm like, is Hartford the spring break destination point? I mean, is that's what's going on around there? You know, LA has a nonstop to Hartford, I think. Oh yeah. I'm pretty sure it's Hartford. It's very weird because I've taken it once.

And it's a flight that you're like, I don't know why this flight would be. I think there's a lot of money in Connecticut, so I'm sure that's why. But it was like a Thursday, nonstop, L.A. to Hartford. And I was like, and I had to be there the next day. And I was in L.A. I was like, this is the craziest thing. Yeah. It's like this flight was there for me. Eric Hedge, Hedge. Eric Hedge or Hedge? Hedge.

You would think the two guys that graduated college would have a good enough grasp of physics to realize that when a space shuttle leaves the atmosphere, it creates a suction behind it. It seems certain that at least some amount of water vapor follows it into outer space. I did do a quick Google search, and it does say microscopic amounts of water go out into the stratosphere, which is pretty far from the Earth. So I just want to...

I like that he thinks a college graduate is going to know some physics. I had a communications major. Or also that it's obvious based on our level of...

physics knowledge. Like, like it follows, like it follows logically that obviously, well, obviously there'd be some more. Well, Dustin replied to this guy and said, well, that's what I'm saying. That's not what you were saying, but yeah, but we also haven't used a space shuttle in like 20 years. So get some updated. I was just proposing that, you know, again, that if, you know, water does go up into the clouds and there's a possibility that it could continue to go past. That's all people got wild in the comments around this guy. But, uh,

Oh, they were... Not attacking, but there was something else about me denying science or whatever, but it's like... Oh, okay. People, you know, science is asking questions. I mean... That's right. That's what it's all about. You know what I can get my head around is March Madness is starting this week. The odds, how many different, I don't even know how to say it, brackets there can be? It's some astronomical number. And I get it would be a huge number, but it's so...

I can't even understand how it's so many. Well, it's like any game could be, you have to go, so this team beats this team, and then every other team wins every other time. And then that's just that. Now do it again, and it's that team beats that team, and now you have to do it both ways. And then it's like where they could end up being is just... I understand, but if you said guess how many it could be, I'd say 50,000. Wow. Yeah.

I don't know. You think you'd say a lot? I don't know if I would even give you, I would say, I don't even know what number to tell you how many different ways there could be. Is there a million ways or something? No, it's no way more than that. Trillion. It's like an unfathomably large number. Yeah. Yeah. No. Well, the guy had to tell you, man, somebody search engine stink. I go back to Google real quick. I'll figure it out. Nate search engine.

Oh, because, oh, is that like, so DuckDuckGo or your Brave or whatever, they're not as good? No, the Brave, yeah, is that DuckDuckGo that Brave uses automatically? Yeah. Google just, Google's the GOAT. 9.2 quintillion possible outcomes. Okay, that got close. So yeah, pretty big. Uh...

There's a bracket, right? For like teams that are like so bad. What do they call that? There's like a bracket that of teams that there's like a tournament for. Well, there's another tournament, the NIT. And that's like, yeah, that's like teams. I remember just reading some story and the coach of an NIT last year was like, he was having a baby and they were like, oh, he had to be, he had to be coaching this game. And I was like, oh, this must be a big deal. And they were like, oh no, it's like the teams that are not good. Yeah.

I'm like, you're missing the birth of your baby for this tournament? His job might be on the line, though. You never know. Dandy won the NIT.

Yeah. 93 or something? It was maybe even earlier than that. What's the NIT stand for? Non-invitational tournament. Yeah. I don't think that's it, but that's the joke. I think it's national. Not invited tournament. Not invited tournament. It's unbelievable that they use exactly that. Like the person that goes, that's a good national invitation tournament. Don't make the people feel. And they're always like, what is that, the non-invited tournament? They're like, dang, gummit. All right.

uh the entity's fun you know at one point what baby this was two what if it was baby right three yeah exactly you know his wife cares at that point it's like your wife running up to the grocery store just grab something real fast come back with another human being uh i forget any dad good time because i forgot you were uh adam diaz diaz

Dusty is correct. The tie looks the best slightly above the belt, but I lived in trailer park too. So that may be a poor man's look. There you go.

I think it's, I could see it above the belt is what you put on when like the water people come by to make sure, ask for your bill. They go, you haven't paid your bill this month and your dad puts a clip on tie. I think a clip on tie probably does go above the belt. I'd like to see some pictures of you guys in suits. I bet every picture of you guys in suits with a tie, it's slightly above the belt. I have one at your wedding of us together.

You do? How do you look? We had a vest. You feel good about your tie length? Yeah, I don't remember, but I'll say yes. Where do you wear it on this diagram right here? I think, Dusty, you're advocating for the one on the very left. Yeah, the very left. I think that looks a little... I would advocate for in between the first two on the left. Like a steak and shake shift manager. Look, I would tell them I would render the one on the left than the one on the far right. The one on the far right's egregious. Yeah, really bad. Maybe the second to the left is okay.

You know, I'm okay with that, but I still like the one on the far left, but maybe, yeah. I mean, I don't claim to be a tie expert. I mean, just like this guy. Right. I don't know. Right. I mean, I know, you know, how much water is leaving the earth, but I don't know. I was always thought the tip of the tie is supposed to touch the very top of the belt.

No, that's a good rule of thumb. This diagram is saying that that would be perfectly acceptable. Is it? Yeah. I think there's one in between the first and the second one. See, that's what I'm saying too. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And they're kind of skipping. A lot of these diagrams also assume a perfectly flat stomach too. So there's a lot of other variables. Yeah, that's true. You're like, that's how it looks long. It's got a little ways to go. You don't know. It's taking the...

It's on a different trail. It's not on the... Let me ask you all this, though. What's so bad about a clip-on tie? I don't know. I just think it's like put the work in. These are probably nicer. I don't think they sell nice clip-on ties. It's probably the same reason the browser thing is good and bad. It's just like... It is called a tie. I never knew that about the browser thing.

I didn't know that that could work like that. It might be fine for how we're using it on this podcast. It always disappoints me. It never gets what I want. It's because there's no filtration.

That's probably part of it. Like, I always think that, like, you want to- You guys are still talking about ties. I was like, what do you mean? No, but I mean, I never thought about that with the search engine. Because it's like Google, the positives is so many people are searching that when you type something in, it's like going like, I know what you're basically looking for. Sure. And then Duck, Duck, Go, Grave is like, we're not saving nothing.

And you're just, it's like the first, it's like you're like the first man to walk into the internet. Yeah. And you go, hello. How long should I hang a tie? And they're like, well, here's a noose. And you're like, what? You go, where are we going, buddy? Yeah. And he's like, I have no, no structure. I have no structure in my life. Just like a man you meet out in an alley and he's selling everything. And you're like, what? But he sells everything, but nothing you want.

Yeah. Yeah. Write that down. Put that in my book. Yeah. It'll be a whole chapter on ties. When standing in your natural posture, the tip of the tie should end in the middle of the belt. You know, I'll be fair. I'll be honest. Looking at this diagram that we're looking at right now, the too short one is the one I've been advocating for, but

It does look bad right there. I'm going to go ahead and say that. I think the one above it, though, is how the guy's tie looked that we were looking at last week. Right, right, right. See, that's what I'm saying. It's too long. That does seem too short. So, you know, I might have been advocating for that, but looking at it, yeah, it's like- Backpedaling. But I think the guy was this. He was the too long one. Mm-hmm.

All right. I agree. Last one. There you go. Mike Terry. That's called growth. Yeah. Mike Terry. Nate said that Fallon hadn't done stand-up in a while, but he does a nightly monologue on The Tonight Show. Is there a difference in your mind between doing a monologue and doing a stand-up routine? A little different. It's... He's...

he is telling jokes every night, uh, to a live audience. So yeah, that is the rhythm of all that he would be. It makes complete sense. I didn't, I, and you know what, honestly, I didn't really think of it like that, but it, but I think standup is different because it's,

You know, the monologue, it's like topical. It's like people are right. You're right. You're reading. You're saying other people's jokes and stand up is more. You're saying your own jokes. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's I don't know if it's there's just a different rhythm to it. I don't know. But yeah, no, it makes Mike's correct. It doesn't make sense why he would be able to pick it up because he is telling jokes every night.

I never thought of that. You think that's Mike Terry that works at the Grand Ole Opry? Does the Sirius XM country radio? I don't see why not. Mike Terry? Could be. I like Mike Terry. I'm a big fan of him. There you go. Never met him. You never met him? He'll announce you out to the Opry sometimes. Oh, I don't think I've had a show with him. Oh, okay. Yeah, I like Mike Terry. You know Mike?

I do. You've asked that three times. Okay. And that's not the same guy. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well, I feel bad for saying that, but when you asked it the second time, I was like, Dusty, you've asked that before. Oh, he's had multiple comments read on this podcast. At least three. Can we be sure that it's the same Mike Terry? That's a fair point. That is a fair point. Right. Pretty sure this guy lives in Utah. Okay. Yeah.

You know a lot more about him. Yeah. Really pretty. Yeah. I'm pretty sure this guy lives at 302 Eagle Crest Lane. Mike Terry might need to be like, I need to lay off these comments. The little baits get a little too close to home. Just pull back a little bit. Let people know. Well, I think this guy, you know. Wogo baits out here. Cold wogo. Mike, you got any comments this week? No, I'm good. Might be pumping them out, buddy. I need them. All right.

Well, this week, a lot of people this past week and this coming week, spring break, headed to Florida. Yeah. All right. Good time to talk about Florida. I think maybe we've never talked about Florida. Not as his own episode. Were we saving it for somebody? Maybe. Do you have a famous comedian friend that's from Florida?

that you know of? I mean, there's always guys I think about if they ever came on. Like, I saved Colorado for a long time in case Dan Soder ever came. Vecchione lived in Florida for a while. Florida's great. That's a reach. I love Florida. Yeah, it is a reach. Vecchione's lived a few places. Pennsylvania and Ohio. But do you consider Florida the South? Yeah, for sure.

Once you get real Southern in Florida, it's a bit of a different beast down there. But like upper Northern Florida, Central Florida, very Southern. I think very Southern. I don't know if people think, do they think I'm going to Florida, I'm going to the South? That's the thing. I think of like the SEC, Florida's in the SEC. So I think Northern Florida is kind of like Alabama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then Southern Florida, I think of old retirees from like New York. Yeah.

That's right. But that's all coastal stuff. And then on the tip, yeah, pit bull, big Cuban vibe down there. I love it. I'm a big fan. I came in here wearing the shirt. Remember that? I should have wore that shirt today. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. Yeah. It is its own thing. It's kind of a... They're saying southern in the middles, cows and oranges, for the people listening, and the bottom part's northern. I could, yeah.

Because parts of the panhandle are like, man, that's about as Southern as it gets. Oh, yeah. But I'm just saying in general, when you walk by some briefly and you were like, do you think Florida's in the South? I don't know. It's not like if you go Georgia, Tennessee or Alabama. Those people just really think the South. Florida's such a tropical place. But it's very, very Southern.

The northern part of it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the further south you go, the more northern. Yeah. It's like if you're driving to the beach and you like you go through a lot of these small towns, you're like, oh, this is very southern. Oh, yeah. You know, but once you get to, you know, Vero Beach or, you know, I've been to a lot of these kind of retirement communities doing comedy. There's a lot of comedy zones out there. And I can't even think of them right now. But where it's like, yeah, there's a different vibe here.

And Miami definitely doesn't feel like the, you know, Alabama. I got, I did a weekend at Miami.

Cocoa Beach, Florida. Gregory's Comedy Club. I've been there. Years ago. I was opening for somebody there and I drove all the way there. It's like a stupid drive, 13 hours or whatever. And I was driving back and I got in a wreck. It was my fault. I got in an accident on the interstate. I slammed into this minivan with a family in it. Watching because you were watching Law and Order. No. West Wing. West Wing. Yeah.

Because, yeah, did you have to put your entertainment system to the ground? No, this is, I was driving a two-seater Toyota Tacoma. The radio didn't work. The only way I could listen to stuff was I had to play stuff on my phone and I would put it in like my hoodie. I mean, it was just miserable driving in that thing. You didn't wear headphones? No, for some reason, I always felt like it was wrong to wear headphones. Well, you're literally hitting someone with a phone in your hood. So, I mean, I think what's the difference? Yeah.

Look, these are all great points in retrospect. But at the time, anyway, it was like traffic had stopped quickly. And I slammed in this minivan. We pulled off. The truck was messed up. So I had to stay in Ocala, I think the name of it, right in the middle of this cows and oranges there. I had to stay there for like three days. But I took a picture of my truck that was all smashed up. And I sent it to some comic friends of mine. And they used it to get out of work.

for a long months, maybe years. Sativa, our friend Brad Sativa, he texted to his boss and was like, we got in a car accident. That picture helped a lot of people. Oh, really? Skip work. Yeah, the picture that smashed the truck. Oh, like comics would just... Yeah, use it to lie to their job to get out of stuff. Oh, yeah. Wow. By proxy, also hurt a lot of people, hurt a lot of those employers, hurt a lot of those customers trying to eat there. Well, come on. It's not a very fun spin on things. Yeah.

I didn't come up with the idea, but it was used in that way. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Thanks, guys. I'm just saying I'm familiar with this area. I mean, I was stranded there at some random hotel for two or three days. You know, I made that drive too. And at the time, I had an oil leak in my car. And I drained most of the oil out all the way down there. The whole underside of my car had oil all over it.

So I've been there. Did you make it back? I did make it back just fine. And that Gregory's, uh, the, the hotel was right on the beach. It was the, the, the gig was not good at all, but the hotel, I was opening for a guy too. I was opening for a, you know, for a magician and, uh, he was good, but it was like, we had, you know, uh, you

you know, 10 people at the show. And one night they were like, you got 10. Yeah. One night they were like, cause we're upstairs. And they were like, Oh, everybody that's got tickets to the show is eating in the restaurant. So we're going to hold the show until they're done. So imagine what kind of power the audience has to know that the show is waiting on them. Yeah. Yeah. I did a comedy zone. I think Fort Walton beach. Right. And they have a mechanical bull.

Y'all done that one? No. This is The Block, I think it's called. Yeah, I think so. But you could just hear people while I'm on stage just over there. Whoa! They get thrown off the bull. Yeah. Yeah, you always got to hate the room where it's like you can hear the better entertainment choice. There's multiple options in that room. There's like eight more fun things to do. Yeah. Inside this building. It's like doing a show at a fair. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

He had darts right there by that stage, too. Yeah. There's not really a stage, right? You're just kind of there. Yeah, you're just kind of in a room and just trying to get people to look at you. I did that run with a guy. It was my first real road gigs in that show, and he lost his cool, just screamed at the audience. First time I've seen a guy have a meltdown on stage, started screaming at him, walked a ton of people. That's funny. He had just had it, dude. Yeah. Something about that, it just brought it out of me. He tapped out.

I think when you're by the road a long time, you're going to hit, you know, it's just same drunk, same thing. Yeah. Nothing is even interesting to you anymore. You get heckled and you're like, I've seen a thousand of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Those road comedy zone and funny business gigs. Not that there's not some good ones because there are. But I still want to work. But the comedy, the comedy zone and funny business has a lot of like bad gigs out there, too, where it's and they know it. They might not say it to you, but they know it. And it's like it's just wild how bad it is in Florida. But Florida is such a great comedy state, man. There's so many good clubs there.

So Florida was the one place that I never, I, for a long time, I was like, I've not done any comedy in Florida and now I've done a lot, but. So you probably been everywhere there now. Yeah. But I mean, it was one that was, there wasn't a lot of comedy clubs there that they used to not have a ton there.

I feel like. And then because I wasn't in side splitters. But then eventually it's like I started getting in these. And then I think more of them started popping up. Those improvs. Yeah. Side splitters is great. It really is so fun. I love that club. Florida is the third largest state for population. That kind of surprised me. Yeah. I would have guessed Ohio. That's interesting.

So New York, California, Texas. Yeah. I think I might have guessed New York. I didn't even think about New York State. Yeah. But when you think about it, Florida does have a lot of big cities. Yeah. Yeah. And some people have moved there, I think. Mm-hmm. I feel like it's a state, though, that people like to hate on. They love to hate on it, but Florida is banging. I mean, Florida is where it's at. I've always... Yeah, I like Florida. I like the name. I like...

Oh, it's Florida. Yeah. It's just a fun name. Well, you grew up in Alabama too. It's like, that's where you always go. Like we would go to Gulf Shores, Alabama sometimes, but mainly it's Panama City Beach. I mean, that's where we're going. Destin. But Panama City Beach, I mean, that's, you know, that's the redneck Riviera down.

there. And that's where it's at. And I don't know about now. I do have a couple of shows in Panama city coming up. So I hope it's still the same, but I used to love it. You go down there with your buddies, you get in the nicest car, any of you have, and you just ride the strip, just up and down the strip, trying to get women to look at you in this car. You're like, this ain't mine, but I'm in it though. You know? That's right.

Oh, man, it's the best. My dad met his his fourth wife and current wife at a hotel called the Fontaine Blue and in Panama City Beach. And I was there.

I was about 14. That's a, that was great. I mean, I love Panama. I got a little toe fungus down there. I stomped my toe one time when I was 18 and broke the toenail off a little fungus crept in. It's destroyed my toenail to this day. And that was, you know, 20 years ago. It's a, but it's worse than a tattoo. Yeah. I always got a little bit of Panama city beach with me. I got my nipple pierced one time at Panama city. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was wild. Yeah.

I went down there once, buddy, in college. I mean, you just took a turn. Yeah. Listen, things could have gone a completely different way for me. It is amazing how it worked out. Do you think you now and you 20 years ago would hang out? Not at all. Man. I would hate 20 year ago, Dusty.

I mean, he was fun. He had a good time. I don't want nothing to do with that. I went once in college with a buddy and the first day on the beach, I didn't realize how burned I'm getting. I was so fried that the rest of the weekend, I just had to stay inside the hotel because I was just...

Burned so badly. We were in like a $39 hotel that was just. A night's inn or something like that. It was just so bad. But the whole weekend, I couldn't even leave. I was just in pain. Were you using sunscreen at all? No. Oh, my gosh. I didn't. I was too dumb to even do that. I'm like, I'm going to get burned out here. I mean, I'm going to get, you know. It's a different. We got weird. We were down in Florida recently.

I got really burned. We went kayaking and I got really burned. I mean, the sun is on, like it is hot. Especially on the beach or the water. The water, it seems to like also reflect the sun. Yeah. Yeah. Feel it in your bones. And it's so bright out there. I'm like, I'm not getting anything. I'm fine. And then-

You go in at the end of the day, you're like, uh-oh. This is a huge... It sets in even after you get inside. Oh, yeah. I'm like, it's worse. It's a bunch of dudes. You get to put aloe. Yeah, they're all slapping you. Aloe vera, yeah. Oh, the guys will come slap like it's funny. Yeah. You get out of the shower, you're trying to dry off. You got to pat dry. Yeah. Yeah. You just see your finger, your handprint because it's... You just lay in bed and watch the local news. Which is what I want to do anyway. Yeah.

My buddy's going out bringing home girls and I'm like, hang on, the weather's coming on. Nate Land Podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, you're listening to us talk while you're driving, cleaning, exercising, or even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers.

who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. I ever talk about getting hell's itch on here?

No, I don't think so. This is a clean podcast. Well, that's just what it's called. I don't know another term for it. It's called hell's itch. And it happens after a sunburn. I've had this, I think, three times in my life. And I looked it up online. And apparently this happens to people is you'll get burned. And then the chemical that causes an itch, a histamine, the histamines or whatever causes you itch.

The skin will heal over that, trapping whatever makes you itch underneath the newly healed skin. And so you just have an itch that's under your skin for years.

About a day. I mean, some of the worst days of my life is when I've had this on the ground flailing around. You lose. I mean, it's like a scene out of a movie. I'm on the ground crying. My family thinks I'm just crying because my skin hurts. You just can't get to it. But you just can't get to it because it's literally underneath me.

The skin. So you just want people to just take like that. How old were you? When I was... Oh, multiple times. Yeah, a couple times. Did they say do anything for it now? What I learned after, and I did a bunch of research on it when I was going through it. I'm like at a computer like crying trying to read about this. You take Benadryl. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You take an antihistamine and then you just go...

and take a scalding hot shower and just put it on your back, which feels counterintuitive. Burn yourself again. Well, you just want to, yeah, you want to just fry those nerve endings so that you don't itch. But it feels counterintuitive. You want something cold when it's itching and the sunburn, but it's a hot shower, does it? And I don't wish that on anybody, dude. There's videos on YouTube of like,

families filming somebody and they're all laughing because it looks absurd. I feel like you just unlocked a new phobia. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the worst part of it is nobody understanding what you're going through. Yeah. I can't tell you the relief when I found that this is an actual thing that people have because my brothers and sisters were like, Aaron is...

overreacting a little bit to this sunburn. Almost like your body heals too fast. That's right. That's always been my problem. Yeah, you got a quick healing body. You got burned. But your sister loved it after y'all made fun of her about her

Well, this is a real condition I have. They also call it devil's itch. I got eaten up by a bunch of red bugs, and I was like that. But that was just an itch that would not stop. You ever been eaten up like that? What's a red bug? Like a chiggers also. You know, you got like in the woods in Tennessee. Yeah. And they just eat you up, man. Just like a swarm of them or what? Well, you don't even know they're doing it. That guy...

Got 44 subscribers he uploaded. A lot of videos. He's going to get a lot more now. Yeah, do a deep dive. That's an interesting read. Doesn't seem to happen to a lot of women.

Yeah. Well, women are smart enough to wear sunscreen. Suicide itch. Suicide itch. Yeah. I guess there's a lot of, they're all pretty aggressive, but they're all appropriate. She seems happy though. Well, she's made through, she's made it through. She came out the other side. Do you love life more after that? Oh yeah. And then I did it again, forgot to wear sunscreen. But now I'm, now I think about it a lot.

I never wear sunscreen, but we've talked about this. When I go to Florida, take my shirt off. That's the first thing I do. I love Florida. Can't wait to go back. The sun is amazing. Yeah. It's unbelievable. It is the life giver. Do you ever put like suntan lotion on? No. I used to do the tan a bit a lot when I was younger. Is that even a thing anymore? It is. Oh, to get tan. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, I don't do it. You can put a little coconut oil on, but I try to not – I don't like to mess around with putting a lot of stuff on my skin.

But the sun, though, can do some damage. Well, you don't want to get burned. I mean, the idea being that your skin burning is the signal that you've had too much sun. So go inside. But a lot of people believe that when you put sunblock on, what you're doing is you're still getting the sun, but you're just kind of killing the warning. Like you're still getting a lot of UV rays. You're just the warning's gone. Yeah.

Hmm. I think there's there's pretty good evidence that it's, you know, like you're not getting burned and you're not getting sun poisoning. You're not getting burned, but you may still be getting the UV rays. OK, OK.

Never thought about it like that. They say that about sunglasses too, right? Yeah, I think so. Too much – wearing too much sunglasses can – yeah, it has some effect on you. Or if it's a cheap sunglass, it could hurt your eyes because it'll open your pupils, but it's still those bad rays are getting through. My wife has blue eyes, and she always says it's very hard for her in the sun with blue eyes. I have brown to hazel eyes, and I have no problems. I mean I can –

I'm good in the sun. Yeah. Yeah. I don't wear. It was like that. I heard you should get sunlight in your eyes when you wake up and stuff. But I wear sunglasses, but I'm aware of like putting them on. Like if I get up and go somewhere in the morning and it's bright, I'll drive the car and I'm just like no sunglasses. Just I try to get it the most in. But then. Oh, in the car. That's the only time I wear them.

I got a big pair of Oakleys that I just look like such a clown. Oh, yeah. You know, you see me in those? No, no. I just know the sunglasses. I mean, it's a tough look. I might have those sunglasses. Because there's some golf ones. They go all the way across. I look like I'm trying to be an outfielder. You look like you're blind. I look like I'm about to...

Roll down my window and yell some stuff out of my car. Like the glasses that you could put over the glasses. Almost like that. They're like, yeah. I have, John Augustine gave me a pair because he's with Oakley and they gave me some, and I have that I wore them on golf.

They're just giant. Yeah, I look like this. I mean, this is what I think I look like. That's pretty cool. It looks like that. In the 90s, Oakleys were where it was at. The ones I have are bigger, yeah. The wraparound kind of Oakleys in the 90s with the kind of oval O on it. Oh, man. You could not get a cooler glass than that.

Those Oakley's? Put some croquis on it too. Yeah. Put them on your neck back there. But I'd wear those in the car. They're great driving glasses, but I look like such an idiot just walking around the store with them. Oh yeah. Or, you know, even on my head, not wearing them. I just, I don't want to be, I don't want to be a guy that wears those, but God, they're great sunglasses. Polarized?

Oh, yeah. Polarized sunglasses are unbelievable. Oh, yeah. The Gooder ones are all polarized. Yeah. And that's what – If you're listening, that's a brand. That's not Nate mispronouncing. Oh, okay. Oh, actually, that is what I thought you – I thought it was just bad, bad vocabulary. Oh, yeah. You just let that slide. Yeah. Well, I think it was Vince Coleman, baseball player, who lost – Everybody knows Vince Coleman. Yeah.

Well, he's back in my day, the eighties. He was a, he was a great player, but he lost a fly ball to lose the game because he didn't have his sunglasses on. And then later that night he was seen in a nightclub wearing sunglasses. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. It was always just a, that's so could be one of those urban legend stories is not even true, but that was always the story about him. Yeah. Well, if you lose a fly ball to it, I guess you would just wear sunglasses all the time after that. You're like, that'll never happen again. Yeah.

There are two Wikipedia entries of Vince Coleman, the baseball player or the train dispatcher. But that guy died in the Halifax explosion. Yeah, I don't know what that is. Due to not having his sunglasses on, he wrecked the train. Today he is remembered as one of the, oh, he's a hero. Okay. Okay. Sorry, Vince. I thought he was like. Oh, he was. Yeah. He sent a message to incoming passenger train.

He really Paul revered him out there. The baseball player, he led the league in stolen bases every year for a while. And in the playoff game, somehow the automatic tarp that comes on the field got caught in his leg. His leg got caught in it, and he got injured. Gosh. Those weigh thousands of pounds, I think. And that was it? No, he recovered eventually, but he got injured somehow, like just a freak accident before the game. So...

Just a little Vince Coleman history. That's what we remember him for. Dropping a pop fly and getting injured. Yeah. It's wild. So Florida was discovered by Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon. Yeah. Famous explorer. Some people think he was searching for the Fountain of Youth in Florida. Dusty, you believe in the Fountain of Youth? No. Okay. But it is, what is it, outside of Jacksonville? St. Augustine. St. Augustine, yeah. Isn't that supposed to be where it is? St. Augustine is the oldest city in America.

I don't know how they tell that. Isn't every city the same age, really? Deep down, yeah, right. The land is the same age, yeah. Deep down, the bones of it. Yeah. It's a good way of putting it. The land is the same age, I guess, yeah. But it was established, I guess, the earliest. 1565 it was founded by the Spanish people.

Do you know what Florida means? Do you like the name? No. You're like, let me... No. Ponce de Leon named it. It means flower in Spanish. Oh, okay. Wow. A lot of flowers there. All right. Because of the sun. Yeah. I guess so. It's the flattest state in the country. More than Kansas? That's wild. The lowest high point is 345 feet.

The lowest high point. What does that mean? The highest point? Yeah, the highest point. In Florida. Yeah, I don't know why I said the lowest high point. Oh, it has the lowest high point of anywhere in the... 345 feet. Wow. The lowest high point in the country is in Florida. That's what I should have said. Oh, so flat like that, like there's not a lot of points, but not like...

overall i mean now i think no hill so you gotta think all around the shoreline obviously it's zero right because it's sea level the highest it gets is 345 feet anywhere in the state that's crazy that is great that's like a little hill yeah there's a guy who i think set a goal to reach the top of all 50 states their highest point and in florida it's just you know somebody's yard that's

I saw a story. It's the guy's front porch. And it was just someone's yard. I mean, it was just something as simple as that. There's no marker. There's no obvious. They, some geographer found out what it was and he just wouldn't stood there. Wow. That's fun. That's probably one or that's like your most, that's your favorite one. That's why they did the story because you know, this guy's been all these great points and then this is just all right. Stand right there. Yeah.

Yeah. You go to Alaska's and it's crazy compared to Florida's just, yeah. A farmland or something. That's wild. Yeah. They do have a lot of cows in Florida with a few weeks ago. We're like,

Didn't think that would be a Cal place, but it's one of the most. Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, you're listening to us talk while you're driving, cleaning, exercising, or even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers.

who trust Progressive, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. When you say Florida, what's the celebrity you think of right away? I think every other state. Iraq.

That just saying was pumped in my head when you said that. He did play football there. Boy, that's a valid answer. Oh, yeah. Even if it's The Rock. That really, I don't know why. I don't think he would be the answer. Yeah, that's a good question because I feel like there's the most famous celebrity from each state, but then there's the one you associate with that state. A lot of famous people, I couldn't tell you where they're from. We talked about Tom Cruise. We had to look it up. Florida Georgia line.

Florida, Georgia, why don't you think of those guys? I also think country music, but the legendary John Anderson, who had the song Seminole Wind. Okay, that's a hot song. Yeah, John Anderson, I think, is from Florida. I don't know if John Anderson would think of John Anderson. John Anderson is a very underrated legend. Yeah. And, uh...

You've got me into him, actually. Yeah, he is good. Years is a hot song. Oh, years? Years is unbelievable. It really is. I would say I think, I know he's not from there, but I think if you say Florida to me, I think... Who'd you say? Emmett Smith. Well, he is from there. He played in Florida. Is he from Florida? I think he grew up there, right? I'll say Jimmy Buffett, but yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, Key West. Yeah. Makes me think of Jimmy Buffett. I would say now, he wasn't born there, but Trump.

Yeah, he's got a real identity with it now, but I still think of him more as a New York guy. I mean, I have a list here of some famous people from Florida. He's from there? Yeah. I really went with that. He's like, I'm going to go by Florida. Nigga, we can't do that. You're out of your mind. He goes, I'll spell it the same. I'll say it with a break in the middle.

Flo Rida. He didn't even change anything. I mean, he tried to go, I want to be called Florida. And they go, no, can't. What if I break it up? Kenny Chesney's got a real Florida vibe. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. Yeah. I think he's from here, though, because Tennessee song. Yeah, he's from East Tennessee. He's like big Knoxville guy, you know.

Tom Petty. Oh, Tom Petty. Yeah. Gainesville. Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, Leonard Skinner. Ronnie Van Zandt. Yeah. But see, they messed it up with people. So she had been more of Alabama. Yeah. Even though they're not from there. Todd Berry. Oh, yeah. He went to Florida. Yeah. It's just funny having him on the same list. Derek Trucks. Derek Trucks. Yeah. Yeah. Pitbull. Gloria Estefan. Wesley Snipes. Bob Ross.

Derrick Henry's from Florida. Yeah. Was Miami Vice a big show for you growing up? Did you watch that? It was. I didn't watch it, but I remember it. Hulk Hogan's also from Florida. Oh, yeah. Hulk Hogan. Yeah, he's got to be up there. Yeah. Yeah, Miami Vice was so big back in the day. And then that Phil Collins song, In the Air Tonight, they played it on that show and that kind of made it like

take off. Oh, okay. Was it like Law and Order, but it's just like drugs in Miami? Mm-hmm. Pretty much? Okay. Don Johnson became a huge star. Yeah. All right. I'll check that out. Who else are you? Did you have Ronnie Van Zandt on the list? I did not. I had Leonard Skinner. Daniel Tosh? I think Leonard Skinner is four and

No, Led Zeppelin's foreign, right? Isn't Led Zeppelin from? Yeah, they're from England. Yeah. Maybe. No, I don't think they're scary. Yeah. Led Zeppelin. Nevermind. Sweet Home Alabama was playing. Where are these guys from? Ireland? Scotland? They were from here. They're from Florida and they wrote that song? Uh-huh.

Why'd they do that? Because Neil Young had a song called Alabama. Oh, yeah. And Southern. And Southern Man. Southern Man. Where he trashed Alabama. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I did know that part. It actually made me love it because that song –

Neil Young don't, whatever. Old Neil Young will remember. Yeah. Southern man don't need him around. Actually, Southern man and Alabama are pretty banging songs. Neil Young rules. Neil Young, yeah. Yeah, old Neil Young nowadays, it seems a little weak. We're talking about him in his prime, in his music. But prime, uh,

Neil Young is like, he's crushing it. Harvest Moon. Down by the River, Cowgirl in the Sand. Oh, man. But I mean, I bet when that song came out, and you just imagine how excited Sweet Home Alabama, when they came out, and they know Neil Young trashed Alabama, and then they come out with a song, Sweet Home Alabama, and then they trashed it. I mean, people probably lost their minds. Oh, yeah. I mean...

Yeah, that had to be so fun. If you're just from Alabama, I mean, just lose your mind. That's probably how a lot of them discovered that Neil Young wrote a song about him. Yeah. I was going to say, was that even like a pop hit on the radio? I think Southern Man was a hot one. Alabama's a little more obscure. Southern man, don't you? Yeah. It's not bad, Neil Young. I've never tried to do one. Every week you do an impression, people say, yeah, he is good. All right. I could do a good one second of anybody. Yeah.

That was good. Last week it was the pilot over the intercom. That was more of a character than an impression. Needle in the Damage, Don. You guys heard that song? It's a hot song. It's really good. About his friend dying. Yeah, really good. Florida Man is its own thing. You guys know Florida Man? Yeah. Yes. It started with 2013 and now it's just kind of become its own thing. Just any weird thing that happens...

Very often, it's someone in Florida that's doing it, fighting someone's face off. I think it's because what they were saying was that they have to report all of the crimes get reported, right? And it's reported as Florida Man. So it's like, because it's done that way, you can almost find any crime done in the title would be Florida Man does this, this, this. Agreed. And like you mentioned earlier, it's become a meme almost.

And Florida is the go-to punchline for any joke. It's like Nickelback, where it's kind of just a hack thing to make fun of. People are moving to Florida more than ever. I know, and people are going to see Nickelback, too. Yeah, so everybody can make fun of it. But Florida is our California.

Yeah. Doesn't it feel like that? Yeah, it does. They're in Southern California. They're our California. That's where we're allowed to go. That's our home. California is California. Florida is like, you're like, that's our California. You're like, that's our, it's where you go on vacation. Right. And California is another place though that gets a bad rap for some cities. But overall, I've been to a bunch of places in California. It's awesome. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful show. What was the show you did, Dusty? You talked about Florida.

remember this oh yeah i did a show uh it was it was for uh the the uh quibi when they were trying to launch this new thing for just for phones it was a show called nice ones uh and hosted by ron funches it was actually very fun but they had you know we were all just asking it was like a compliment roast battle which i won by the way yeah and uh the uh

And one of the questions that they let us give are all our own answers. But one of the questions was like, they were like, say something nice about Florida. And we were all supposed to go, you know, like, oh, what can I possibly say about Florida? I was like, oh, no. I said, I can't do that. I like Florida. Yeah. I can't say, you know. So I, you know, I said my dad met his fourth wife in Panama City Beach, you know. So it's still a joke. Which was way funnier than if you had just been quiet. Yeah. You know.

And then I won. There you go. Yeah. When people say they talk about Florida, it's people that don't live over here. They don't live near it. They don't, you know, they're not. That's what I mean. That's what means our California. Like they don't. You're just being like.

absurd to go like Florida's something you're like well you ain't ever been to Florida dude like get out of here right yeah when people trash Florida and I'm like you have no idea what you're talking about yeah I would move to Florida I see I could see a day moving to Florida like you just take a night land to Florida well you're just like I want just I want warm weather I want you know

I just want, I just, you know, I mean, that's why people move there. I want to move to that cows and oranges part of Florida because you get the warm weather, but you can grow all these different crops year round, like grow oranges and lemons. Oh man, that's what I'm talking about. A lot of citrus, get some mangoes, avocados. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah, I know, I know. A couple more. Disney World is the single largest, single site employer in the US. Walt Disney World. Yeah.

Single site meaning like not corporation. Walmart's the biggest. But as far as one location, Disney World's the biggest. And Magic Kingdom is the most visited theme park in the world. I think people working there would be – I bet it'd be a good job. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's going through stuff now, but I'm saying in general, the idea of working there, maybe it's not what it was, but it was- It's no Opryland, but it's- Yeah, but it's, yeah, but you're like, there's something that's kind of special about working there. I always wanted to work at Six Flags when I was growing up. There was like a thing you could go to Six Flags for the summer and kind of stay. They had housing for you and I really wanted to do that job.

That seemed like something kind of unheard of when I was growing up, like to leave your hometown and go live and work in a place. Six Flags, I think to me, always felt like the edgier. Oh, for sure. Theme park. Versus what? Just, I don't know, general theme parks. Like Six Flags was just, I didn't really have them. And when they were around, it's like all the roller coasters and all that. Exactly. It's just like a...

It feels like it's not for kids. Like nowadays, I bet everybody that works there vapes. Yeah. Six Flags is like, yeah, it's more, yeah, you're going there, you're riding some rides. I don't know why. I have no reason to, and I'm just saying in general, it wasn't, I don't think, you know what? Let me grab my daughter. We're going to go to Six Flags. I always thought Six Flags was like Walmart.

Disney, whatever, that's like the target. It's like Six Flags is like cheaper, low income. Okay. That's what I thought. I thought it was like, I mean, we used to go, yeah, I mean, if it's low income, we would go and take sandwiches and go out to the parking lot midday and eat our own food. Yeah.

You could go. Well, you could always get a coupon for Six Flags. Yeah, off a bread bag. You could get off Coke cans and bread. We'd be showing up to Six Flags with a bag of bread and a can of Coke. And go in for $8. Sports, a ton of professional teams in Florida. They've all won championships. Florida Marlins have won two World Series. Orlando hasn't.

Well, I didn't mean every team. I mean, I guess every sport, there's been a championship. Like in baseball, the Florida Marlins have won two World Series. The Miami Dolphins. Oh, when I was a kid, I had Miami Dolphins starter jacket.

Growing up, I had a Miami Dolphins starter jacket. Still the best look. Love it. They do have a great look. The heat of one. Dan Marino, Ace Ventura. Speaking of Venturas, remember that guy, Ace Ventura? Nick Ventura. Your buddy. Yeah. Yeah. In the 80s, again, my day, the University of Miami was the college football team. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, the U. Mm-hmm.

And then they became it again in early 2000s. Yep. For me as a kid, it was Miami. And they just went away. Yeah. And then like, yeah, it's really crazy. It had a couple like flashes in the pan where you're like, is Miami back? But it's for me to see Florida, Florida state, Miami kind of not be where it was and to see where they all were. Yeah. Is pretty wild.

You just, because in the time you think, well, they're going to be the greatest. That's like Nebraska. Like Nebraska, you think there's a time you go, well, no one's ever going to be. Nebraska is the greatest team that's ever lived. And then they just flip. And it's like, yeah, that's pretty wild.

Yeah, Florida in the 90s with Spurrier was dominant. Florida State with Bobby Bowden. Those coaches lead. They just played in Florida. The players. Players' championship was in Florida. Who won? Scotty Shepard. Shout out to him. This is not – I don't even know Scotty. I don't know Scotty Shepard, but that dude's number one. He's good. Yeah. I mean, dude, he came back. It was unreal, just him coming back. Yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty special. If you watch Scottie Scheffler right now, you should tune in. Is Florida the best golf state? I think so, yeah. I think it has the most golf courses. Yeah, yeah. Which is probably not surprising. Yeah, you fly into Fort Myers or Naples and look out the window. That's all you see are golf courses, man. Yeah. I mean, I think we've covered Florida very thoroughly. I think even people in Florida are like, wow, that's everything. You knocked it out. Right.

We probably got it. We can probably revisit Florida. Yeah. We'll do a Florida part two. Yeah. At some point. Yeah. Uh, all right. That's it. Oh, I'd love to plug some Florida dates though. I mean, you know, it's like, I got stuff this weekend and, and, you know, in Lincoln, Nebraska and Iowa city, Iowa, which I'd love people to come to, but those are not the Florida ones. I would love you to come to those, but you know, I got, uh, let's see where we're at. I got, um, uh, next month. I'm in, um,

or later this month, the 29th, I'm in Ponte Vedra, Florida. That's outside of Jacksonville. I think it's sold out, but I wanted, I just want to tell people that I had that sold out show on April 25th and 26th. I'll be in Panama city beach, two nights, two different clubs. One of them is sold out the other. There's still some tickets. And then on the 27th, I'm going to be in Tampa, Florida at the Tampa theater.

Of April. Get on those. That's where the Elvis too. Elvis had the Florida Theater is where Elvis, because I played there and Elvis, the cops stood in the back waiting to see if he danced and then they arrested him.

I think that's what happened. But that was, it was when it was illegal to dance like that. And that's so crazy that that was pretty recently. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's, I mean, he could technically still be alive. I think.

Some people think he is. He'd be old. He'd be in his 80s. There's a preacher on TikTok that a lot of people will pop up and say that's Elvis, that he went into witness protection, and that's him. And he does sound like him. He's pursuing a different life in public? Yeah. Interesting. Well, I don't guess he's in public. People just have videotaped him. Okay. Or recorded. I guess they're not videotaped. Is it him? Probably not. Yeah.

This weekend, I'm in Tacoma, Washington at Tacoma Comedy Club. Again, there's two locations, so make sure you come to the right one. Your fan's got to do some work. Yeah. I believe it's 6th and Proctor, I believe is the location. I'll do printing out directions this weekend. Make sure you call ahead. Yeah. But I got some special guests popping on some of those shows, so come check it out. Maybe somebody at the stable.

Maybe so. Not the two you'd want. Are you going to be at this show? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just saying. Well, not on all of them. I'm in town doing a corporate, so I'm going to be hanging out. They were trying to sell some chickens. Yeah. I was wanting to get a tease, but not too much. Yeah. But maybe it's Nate or Dusty. Yeah.

And then Sunday, I'm in Portland at Oregon at Helium Comedy Club. Great club. And go downtown, check out what's happening down there. April 6th. You're dressed like someone that'd be walking around in there. Really? I don't know. Just said that. There's some parades and stuff down there. Check out.

Portland, downtown Portland. Uh, they had the food truck, but I think they got a lot of stuff. A lot of, it might be dicey down there too. Okay. So, um, yeah, it's, it's been sketchy in certain parts. Yeah. I'd be good not to come from Portland. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I imagine you're. Yeah. Yeah.

Your face. I don't know if I'd walk around. I'll just get in a March and like, what's going on guys? April 6th. I'm in Miamisburg, Ohio, the Plaza Theater. And then April 20th,

I'm in Moberly, Missouri. Also at a theater. I can't think of the name. I don't get the big cities, but I get the small towns. I'm learning a lot of news. You'll be in Gravelburg. That's where the real people are. I don't sell out. You will be the first one to hit all these cities on that show. I've been everywhere, man. Yeah.

Next week, this is Aaron Webber. Welcome to Aaron Land. Next week, I'm in Las Vegas, Nevada at Wise Guys Comedy Club. And then April's going to be hot. Going to Grand Rapids, Dr. Grins. Going to Omaha, Funny Bone. One of the best clubs in the country. And then Atlanta, the punchline at the end of April. So come out and see me. Thank you.

It's a hot month. Yeah. I'm going out to LA. So Wednesday morning, I'll be at the airport. So if you comment early, look out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's going to be red. Yeah. Yeah.

Dusty's going to be. I will be at the airport very early on Wednesday, and I'll be there with nothing to do. Yeah. So be ready. Yeah. So if you want to put some Dusty stuff on, let that plane take off. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I'm at Vegas, Boston, Chicago.

My April, April, May and June is wild. So we'll be out everywhere. Come out and see us. Uh, cause it'll be fun. Cause this is, I will, I will, after this, I'll be done with this. Be funny to her, uh, in July or the end of June. And, uh,

then I'm taking a time off. I'll be off. And I don't know. It'll be, I'll come back in 25. I just don't know if it'll be spring or be summer. I'm not sure. So, uh, come out and see, uh, this tour. All right. We love you. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week and we will see, uh, next week. Nate land is produced by Nate land productions and by me, Nate Bargetti and my wife, Laura on the audio boom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. Amazon Pharmacy presents Painful Thoughts. Oh, I'm sick. So I took my sick to the doctor. The doctor gave my sick a prescription. Now my sick and I are in line at the pharmacy mingling with all the other sicks on its way to becoming an even worse sick.

Next time, keep your sick at home and let Amazon Pharmacy deliver your meds right to your door. Amazon Pharmacy. Healthcare just got less painful. There are more identity threats than you realize. Even if you monitor your credit, only a little personal info needs to leak out. Like your social security number or password. Or you could become a victim.

LifeLock alerts you to threats you could miss. If your identity is stolen, a dedicated U.S.-based restoration specialist will work to fix it. No one can prevent all identity theft or monitor all transactions, but everyone can save up to 25% off their first year with promo code NEWS. Go to LifeLock.com. Need new glasses or want a fresh new style? Warby Parker has you covered.

Glasses start at just $95, including anti-reflective, scratch-resistant prescription lenses that block 100% of UV rays. Every frame's designed in-house, with a huge selection of styles for every face shape. And with Warby Parker's free home try-on program, you can order five pairs to try at home for free. Shipping is free both ways, too. Go to warbyparker.com slash covered to try five pairs of frames at home for free. warbyparker.com slash covered.