#17 Urban Legends
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What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. Hello, folks. You know, all the good stuff that we've been saying. We've been saying it on stage. Yeah. You think people can tell? They know what it is? No. You're saying it for no reason? No, some do. Yeah. A lot don't. Yeah.

I think you just say it without saying it. Because you say, I told you to say it. The last time I didn't. Yeah. Last time I just went out and said, hello, folks. And they were... And you think I shouldn't explain? Yeah. I feel so dumb when I do it. No, I think your face matches up with that. And they... You come out and you just go, hello, folks. And they're like, yeah. I mean, I think they would just go, this is how he starts his... And I say, goodbye, folks. Yeah. We were doing all weekend...

If I just ended it and I was like, goodnight America! That's the last thing on this special. Just goodnight America! And then be done. I feel like for people that don't get it though, either way you sell it so hard. We were like, hello folks! It's good. It's fun. It's good. Starting is sometimes the hardest thing to do. You have your start. We had an awesome weekend.

All of us were out. We had amazing shows. Everybody came out. Where were we? Louisville. Indianapolis. Indianapolis, St. Louis, and Kansas City. And these drive-ins have been great, man. We have a few more. Just the last little run. Three more coming up. Dallas, Austin, and Houston this weekend. And then I think I'm going to – I'm doing two in December, I believe.

Anaheim and San Diego. I think just Nick will be with me out there.

You're doing those, right? Yeah. I'd be awkward if I'm like, well, you know, I just can't. So busy. December 5 and 6 out in California. So those tickets are on sale now. I believe they're on sale. I could be saying this, and there's a chance they're not even announced yet. But I believe it's on sale. San Diego, Anaheim. I want to say that December 5, 6, me and Nick will be out there. These drive-ins have been good. They, you know...

I think everybody's going into them with the right mindset. I think the audience is there with the right mindset. I think they enjoy it. I've actually enjoyed doing them. I haven't minded them as much as I thought I would. You thought you would not like hearing that crowd and

They honk or they, people have been sitting out front. I mean, it's been cold, man. It was in Kansas City, it was 39 degrees and it was super, super cold. I mean, I remember my, I've learned that I hold the mic with my left hand a lot because how cold my left hand was. And I was like, golly, it's almost like showed you your, whatever your habits are on stage. Yeah.

But they were, everything was, every show's been great. Every show's been fun. We've been doing some fun. We went to NASCAR race. I played with me and Brian. We got hooked up. Brian hooked this up. We played Valhalla. I played terrible. But it was an unbelievable course. Tiger Woods won his PGA Championship. I said US Open, but he won his PGA Championship there. So did Rory. So getting to play there was unbelievable. And then you might notice we went to NASCAR race.

And this is how you notice. Because, uh... I, you know... Aaron Bates. I'm Aaron Bates. Aaron Bates. Aaron Bates. Aaron Weber has his own ads. Where's your jacket? I got sponsors. Yeah, that's what I'm missing, man. The jacket is unbelievable. Jacket's at the dry cleaners right now. It already went to the dry cleaners? You just bought it? Oh. I was like, golly. That's, uh...

And also, Aaron left a windbreaker in, where was it? St. Louis. Indianapolis. Indianapolis. So if you went to the drive-in in Indianapolis and you find a windbreaker. A very big windbreaker. A very decent-sized windbreaker. A tarp. If you go, is that a tarp? And they go, no, I think it's a windbreaker. And then you and your buddy get in a fight about it until you get near it and you go, no, it is a windbreaker. I was wrong. That is Aaron's.

He's willing to pay for shipping, too. Yeah, dude, I'd love that jacket back, but I got a NASCAR jacket, so maybe that'll just be my new... Yeah, well, I hope we get this windbreaker back. Yeah. So if someone's there, if it didn't get blown away...

But the NASCAR jacket is unbelievable. I mean, I've literally been laying in bed thinking about it. Like, God, I should have got that jacket. I mean, NASCAR has the best merch of any major sport. Yes. It was pretty overwhelming, all the stuff you could get. Yeah, it was a lot of stuff.

And you kind of ducked out on your own. I mean, you just, when you went into that jacket, you didn't want a lot of people there. I feel like if y'all were around, I wouldn't have bought it because I would have felt self-conscious. Yeah. He looked so official in that jacket. When he came back in, people were like, so where's the parking again? Like, how do we get our car? When you bought, when you said I wanted that jacket, did the people on the counter go, oh, I figured you already owned it. But yeah, we'll give you one. Did they just assume you walk up and just... I had that look already. I'll take that bush jacket.

I'll take Kurt's 2007 jacket. You know the... It's like... That's his old colors that he used to run with. Yeah. Kurt Busch, right? Oh, Kevin Harvick. Kevin Harvick. Kevin Harvick, sorry. We were walking back to the car and he passed a guy who had a similar jacket. Yeah. And I think... Did y'all do a head nod? He goes, Harvick. He goes, hey, Kevin. Yeah. Let's go. Hey, man. Hey, man. Finished second. Yeah, dude. He had a good race. Kevin Harvick had a good race. We were there with Eric Stonestreet.

And so Eric was awesome, and we all hung out with his buddies. He's friends with a lot of police officers, and those dudes are the best. They were fun. They were super fun. We got a police escort in there just because they know all these. I mean, they're like high up in the police, so they helped us out and got us in through the...

It wasn't that crowded to begin with because they're doing the social distancing. And everybody's wearing masks. That's something that, I mean, people get mad. It makes me furious. People yell at the middle of the country thinking we're not wearing masks. We were at a NASCAR race. That's number one who they're going to blame for not wearing masks. Everybody had a mask on. Everybody was wearing a mask.

All of our photos, we don't have masks. Well, we were the problem. We came in their world and we were the problem. We took pictures. We didn't wear a mask. That's right. But we wore masks. We wore ours. It was an awesome, awesome time. It was a fun weekend. The new bus was good. Slept in the bunks with the people amongst the regular folks. And that was good.

So, yeah. I don't know. That's it. Wear your jacket next week. Okay. It's a good jacket. I like that you have your own ads and you're doing some side deal because you're on the podcast. I see you come in. You got a

Man, he's mentioning Bush Light a lot today. You got a Durell Battery hat on. I'm like, that's kind of crazy. I've never seen one of those hats. You're like, yeah, I don't know. It's just something I've been wearing. Like a Dippin' Dot shirt. I'm like, where'd you get that shirt at? And you're like, how much... And he works it into the conversation? Yeah. Speaking of the future. Yeah, speaking of the future. Yeah.

The future of ice cream, Dippin' Dots. And then we don't know. You're just rich and loaded on the side. You start to pull up in a Ferrari. You're like, how'd you get that Ferrari? Because he's been doing some side work. All right. As usual, we're going to start with some comments from YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and Nateland at NateBarguzzi.com if you want to send an email in. Joshua and Caleb, two people.

I remember when I was a kid and TGIF was a thing on Friday night TV. I used to be so excited to come home and watch the best shows on TV. I feel the same way now about Wednesday mornings. You guys are the best. Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you, Joshua and Gabe. TGIF was a big deal. I remember TGIF. That's a pretty big honor. I mean, they put you in with Family Matters right there. Yeah, we're as good as Family Matters. What is TGIF? Is that like a programming block? Thank God it's Friday. Yeah, that was a programming block. You were... He was four years old. Yeah, it was a big Friday night was a big TV night. ABC. They had Full House, Family Matters.

Home Improvement? No, Home Improvement was... Not that night. Step by Step was on it, maybe? Maybe. No. I remember Family Matters... Those were four pretty big shows. Family Matters and Full House were... Family Matters was what I was looking for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were both. I mean, you'd all sit and watch it. And that was TV was... I mean, that was... It was the best. Urkel. Urkel still... I mean, still... That's when... That's about the last time TV shows you were...

Just superstars. Modern Family, Eric's shows. As far as the later that they got, they became these gigantic hit, hit, hit shows.

So it's awesome. Very nice. Harrison Kesey. Nate, I've been a longtime fan, but I had no idea how awesome the podcast could be. I am 31 years old, and I was just dumped by the woman I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. You, Aaron, and Blueberry have gotten me through these recently tough times, and your podcast is a true escape from our hectic and complex world. I love it. Good for you, Harrison. And you know what? You're better for it. She's out.

Get back on the prowl. You're 31. You're a young man, Harrison. Yeah. Get out there and go live it up. It's a good name, Blueberry, too. I like that. Blueberry's a great name. Blueberry, I think, would be a funny name to say in comedy. Blueberry. You know. Welcome, Brian. I said Blian instead of Brian. Welcome, Brian Blueberry. Yeah. Yeah.

You just say blueberry. You don't say his first name. You just ruin the whole... I'd like to say Brian, too. Brian Bluey. Everybody, please welcome to the stage Brian Bates. Sometimes people call him Blueberry. Welcome to the stage. Everybody's like, that's not... Who's calling him that? Blueberry. What if somebody yells out, who's really calling him that? Who calls him Blueberry? I'll say Harrison Kesey. That's who. Yeah. Harrison's out there. He got dubbed. Yeah.

You might walk, Harrison's out there handing out his business card. Come to a driving show, Harrison, you walk around, just peek into everybody's cars, see if there's a nice lady in there. I don't know. Is that how you do it? I haven't dated in a long time. Concession stand is where it's at. That's where it's at, Harrison. Come sit up by the concession stand, you see some girls, get them some nice... You like pretzels? How you doing, ma'am? You want some popcorn, pretzels? What you in for?

These concession stands are regular prices. Maybe Dippin' Dots. Dippin' Dots? How you doing? Dippin' Dots. Dippin' Dots has been around for a long time. I am a big fan. The one thing, too, the concession stand prices are really reasonable. Very reasonable. This is the best thing in the world. The food has been good at a lot of these places. I love concession stand food, so we've eaten a lot of it. I love concession stand burgers.

Every one of them I've liked. Every burger. We were eating a concession stand burger and Nate just goes, I think this is my favorite restaurant. Yes. They're my favorite burgers. It's to the point. It's like, how you doing? Nice to meet you. I'm Cheeseburger. Right to the point. Not a bunch of nonsense. It's like, pleasure to meet you. I love it. We had some fries that were really good. That had almost a hint of a popcorn. It's very like, because concession stand food is...

It's got their French fries with little, like if you went to a nice restaurant, little, little taste, might taste a little popcorn because that's popcorn's cooked right next to that, those fries. And you're like, Oh, I'd like to try that. It's a hint of popcorn butter. Yeah. French fries. And that's cause they're made in the same thing. And that's cause one guy left. And so now we, the guy that has the popcorn has to do fries too. Cause we, uh, he was fired. They only have one set of tongs. Like that's the story behind, there's a little hint of,

popcorn butter in the fries oh why is that uh we had a guy tried to uh beat up another co-worker we had to fire him so now we only have one person working both stands and his hands get they have butter on it and he also messes with the fries and so it combines a great butter fry taste and you're like okay that's like a redneck nice restaurant yeah

That's the story behind every, you know, because all the real restaurants. Well, that's the story behind the cake we had. We had that cake that was like, it was an accident. And now it's like a crazy popular cake. The big St. Louis cake was, yeah, they, someone put butter, someone cooked it. Gooey butter cake it was called? Gooey butter cake. And someone cooked a cake wrong. And now St. Louis is famous for it.

And then, you know, yeah, and it was unbelievable. And I didn't think I was going to like it. I'm always not. Sometimes I like sweet stuff. I love Sour Patch Kids, and I love ice cream. That's like my world. I'm not a big, I don't get too crazy in desserts. I'm not a just whatever dessert, let's try it. And I thought this could be too much, and it was... Just right. It was nice. They know what they're doing. Aaron and I got into a debate about why popcorn is yellow. Oh, yeah. And he says it's because the butter...

But I'm like, you put the butter on it after it pops. Louisville gave us a giant sack, like a Santa Claus bag of clothes filled with popcorn. And we were also debating how long it could be. If Aaron could eat it in 24 hours. He said 48 hours. I said 24. So the problem, just so everybody knows, because everybody wants this Krispy Kreme challenge. And everybody, you know, we weren't doing it because Aaron didn't want to do it. But Aaron...

Aaron throws out how much he eats. For how much Aaron makes us feel bad about, I don't want to be eating a bunch of donuts. Aaron's go-to in any situation is how quick do you think I can eat that? If anything pops up, that's a lot of food. How long do you think you're going to take me to eat that? Aaron, I think you want to eat it. Of course I want to, but I'm just choosing not to for my own health.

Yeah, but you said that in... If you see it, we'll post a picture of it on the Nailand social. It's in the video that you put up. Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, it's a large bag. It was ridiculous. It's just like the left box. I hit Brian with that bag. There's one photo somewhere of me putting it on him. Nick suggested we do an eating contest on the bus, and we're like, we don't have a bathroom. Yeah, that's the hard thing. You can't, you know... There's a bathroom, but there's not a bathroom.

Nick's lactose intolerant, so the whole table asked for no cheese when Nick said that. Well, that's what caused it because Nick wanted to eat some of the popcorn and I was like, well, be careful, there's a lot of butter on there. And Brian was like, is there? And I go, yeah, that's why it's yellow.

And he thought just some popcorn, just as it's yellow. I thought popcorn would be yellow. Just that's the color of it. I mean, I guess you could have white. There's white popcorn. There's white popcorn and it's yellow, but, but you could, it's, there's a distinct butter yellow. So when you put up, but I don't put butter on my popcorn. There was French fries seasoning in that popcorn.

It does. Yeah. So when you pop popcorn and there's just a kernel and it pops and it's yellow, there's already butter in that kernel? No, but it's a different kind of yellow once they put the butter on it.

You don't think there's butter on that popcorn? I don't ever put it on popcorn. Mine's as yellow as... I think my popcorn is always yellow. I never go... But you may have butter seeds. I think some of them will be like soaked in butter. The seeds are soaked in butter. I think so. Like in the corn patch. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, honestly, that could be because... So a guy walks out...

And just shaving butter off in the farm. But when you get microwavable popcorn, they'll be like butter or no butter. And they're all kernels. Yeah. But they ask you that to pour it on after. They're not like choosing one or other. I just can't imagine that you take something yellow like butter and put it on something. It doesn't make the thing more yellow.

Then you would see it turn yellow. We would notice that. You'd be like, oh, no, have you ever seen him make popcorn? You would have seen it at some point. You'd go watch it as a school kid. Watch this popcorn turn yellow. I mean, those are all good points. Caitlin Blanchard. I will personally sponsor this podcast if you please dedicate an episode to Nate trying to pronounce words. I'm only eight minutes in listening to Nate trying to read the comments and I'm for real crying. Caitlin gets it.

Just sponsor us, Caitlin. Might already be sponsoring Aaron. You've had a pretty good episode so far. So far, I've done pretty good. Caitlin Blanchard sounds like someone that would give you a hat. Blanchard sounds like a NASCAR name. The Blanchard family. Chandler Shaw, Nate's back and forth with Nick, proves his own hypothesis that if you say something with confidence, people will believe you.

Also, Bam Bam over there needs to wear a hat. The light shining out before him is blinding. Love the show. Keep doing a good job. You think people watch this show on TV and they go, hey, turn the...

turn the brightness down a little bit and they go oh it's all the way down the TV's off oh wow you think if they watch our episode and they turn the TV off from our thing it's your where you sit is the last thing that goes dark is that possible it's burned in it's just the last everybody can go TV's off and Bates was sitting right there uh

I'll tell you what, it is so fun that there's just a different nickname for each comment. Yeah. Yeah. You're catching on to it. Uh,

Smith B. Morgan, honestly, just thankful Nate said what I was thinking. Obviously a non-sports fan writing that article about Manti Teo. If it says the ESPN award show, I love that there's something left in the world that isn't just people ranting at each other about serious things. Thank you, Smith B. Morgan. That is true. I'm glad that, yeah, that's the ESPN award show. That is crazy. And that was an ESPN article, someone said. I said that and I did a little research and as I suspected, they were right.

It was not the Heisman award show. It was the ESPN award show where they give out the awards for all the different top wide receiver, top linebacker. So it wasn't a Heisman award show. That's why his phone is on. What's your source? ESPN. The ESPN award show, people? I don't know about that. Never seen it. Never heard of it. Why are they showing that? There's an ESPN awards? Yeah, the Home Depot ESPN, you know, where they give out all the awards except the Heisman.

So not the fun stuff. The ESPYs you're talking about. No. Am I the only sports fan here? That is like an obscure, like, look, so you want an ESPY? No, it's an ESPN award. My source is Manti Teo, who on a Dr. Phil interview, or Katie Couric, one of those. He said he was at the Heisman ceremony. Okay. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong, but that's, that's what I think. Yeah. I like that. Uh,

I think you owe ESPN an apology. ESPN, I'm sorry. Their award show. They're like, finally, someone's listening. Our award show does real good. The ESPN award show. I was thinking about, like, you could... If you want to make yourself sound... I was thinking this is... I was thinking about this as a joke. It won't be in this act, but for the next act that I come with. But, like, you can make anything sound like you're... Like someone, you know...

I was the first comedian to perform on Late Night since the pandemic. That sounds awesome. But how much can you say that you could say that about anything that anybody does? Not even comedic or it could be regular job stuff.

And you could put that to be like, wow, that's impressive. The first mechanic to go back on the line after that. That was the first mechanic. Like, you could word it to go some guy that, the janitor at Ford,

He goes, I was the first guy. I knew I had to be the first guy back since this pandemic. And I started this going back. And you're like, well, did you? And you go, I don't know. I just opened the, I had the keys and there was a line behind me and I was the first one to go in. You could make anything sound where you're like, wow, dude. Like you said, you could make yourself sound like you should be in a history book. For any situation. For any situation. You could just be.

And if any of you guys want to market that, you could put it on Aaron's jacket. So the first guy. He's the first person in history to wear that drive-in theater show jacket on the Nate Land podcast. That's true. Yep. Yeah. And a Bush hat. Maybe the first person. There's a chance for a person in history to ever wear that combination on Earth. Yep. It's ever lived.

You could be the only one. I bet that's true. I think so, dude. And when you factor in the sizes and stuff too, you can get really specific. You're the only person in history, and there's some guy at home wearing all that going, I've been wearing this since the 90s. Just imagine a guy sitting in his recliner. He's got that hat on, that jacket. Nick, you're the first recurring guest on the Nate Land Podcast.

Feels good. I know, you'd be the last, too. Kristen Sundermeyer, why do you wear headphones during a show when you are all sitting in the same room? Inquiring minds want to know. A, we can hear the mics, and that's good. You can tell if you're getting too far away. Because that helps to know, like, hey, I'm getting too quiet. Versus, I like hearing. It's able...

It's easy to really hear everybody. You don't miss anything, even the little subtle kind of lines. I'm not sure I pick up on that. I don't think you pick up on a lot. But it feels like pro. It feels pro. I like it because it feels pro. I think it keeps you in this world, too. So when you're coming out and doing a show, and this is a show, it makes us feel also you are in this. I'm not...

distracted by, you know, we're at my house. Is there a door going to open? Is Holly walking around? Like, nothing distracts you. You kind of just, you feel very much in the zone of the show. No, you do not need headphones. And some people don't wear them. I've always liked wearing them. And the main reason I liked it at the beginning was I do think they look cool. And that was the only reason. Yeah, it's a professional. It's also like, makes it so like, you can't check your phone while you have headsets on. No. Hold on.

I'm doing a podcast. You're like, they're not even plugged in. You know how long it took me to look for these headphones? I mean, when I got them, I mean, I dive in. It's a nightmare. I ordered some other ones, and then I went back to this one. These were the ones that are most used in podcasts. I mean, it was a whole thing.

See, see, Sam one can Mick become a permanent addition to the podcast. He is awesome. Mick, what do you think? I would love it. I would love it. He lives in California, so he's not going to do that. But if he was here,

Yeah, if Nick moves here, that seat's always there for him. We got to talk my wife in, my French bulldog. Yep, and then we'll see. We'll get them down here. I'll talk to Till. I'll start working Till. You may work her. Yeah, work her. I can work Till. You got to talk your dog into it. Yeah, the dog too. She's, you know. She gets it. She likes to go down and walk the Chinese theater. Yeah. She likes to see Robert Redford's star every day. That's where she goes to the bathroom. All right.

Barbershop Harmony Society. Here we go. Not sure if it's considered a hoax since we didn't let it go on for days on end. But for April Fool's 2019, we at the Barbershop Harmony Society announced that in January 2022, we would be hosting our annual midwinter event in Nome, Alaska.

We created an event logo, had a webpage with hotel information, and released a teaser video. We knew the staff would get calls once the announcement went live, so we presented the info at an all-staff meeting the day before. And there were cheers. We told them this was an April Fool's joke. There was an audible grunting. You would think the fact that Nome is only accessible by plane and dog sled, let alone the notion of Alaska in January, would be a dead giveaway. But we still got calls.

So they did a whole thing and I mean, people were like, oh great. We're going to Nome, Alaska. Yeah. I would have loved it if somebody made it, you know, they're like, yeah,

You know, I mean, yeah, that's very funny to do it. Sometimes when you try to go, let's make it obvious. But the thing is, it's like, yeah, you can't even get to Nome. You're like, that's what makes people want to go. Because they're like, well, I want to go because you can't go there. That's funny. You know who lived in Nome? Sid Finch. Oh, he's from there. Do you know that? I heard that. Patrick Moss. Is this P. Moss? I went to... I grew up...

with Patrick Moss. We went to West Kentucky together. I'm not sure if this is him. Pete Moss, he's Mr. Everything. Played football for, I believe, Nashville Christian and was the, I mean, quarterback, running back. Like, he kicked as well, was the punter. They didn't have a lot of people on the team. They didn't. He was always, there was an article, he's called Mr. Everything and I would call him that every day. Every time I still talk to him, I go, Mr. Everything, what can he not do? He can do everything.

100,000 babies born every minute would be 144 million babies a day, Nick. This doesn't already sound like my Patrick Ball. I don't think he's going to be looking this stuff up. At that rate, it would take roughly 53 days to produce 7.59 billion human beings, as many as are currently on Earth. Nick, Nate, Aaron, Bright Eyes, love the show. Yeah, so I was right on this baby thing. You guys are lunatics. Yeah.

In hindsight. Well, how many people are dying a day? Yeah, that's... I mean, you want to go? Let's go. Y'all go. Y'all think 85,000 to 100,000. I'd say 800 now. 800 people die a day. So there's a population decline. No, no, a day. A day. A day. I was saying a minute, 800 die. Oh, is it a day? There is population growth.

Oh, 600 a day. A day. He's saying a day. And 256 a minute. Okay. Well, let's stick with... How many do you think are dying a minute? How many people do you think die a minute? I don't think... 80?

okay that's pretty good if 250 are born or we really reined ourselves in yeah yeah i was a hundred thousand before people my wife was like i don't know if i want to be married to you uh with that kind of answer so i'm going no she didn't say that i don't even know say a hundred and no one went with me 115 diamonds there's no way you saw that didn't he no i didn't i did not look at it all right we're gonna have to replay to see if he glanced

Go look at it. Go read Glent. I've not looked at it as of right now. I still can't see it. I'm looking at it. 120. 120. I think Nick wanted to guess, but... Oh, I'm sorry. He did guess. He said 80. Okay. 120. 120. I said 115. Good job. I did not look. You can look at the camera if you're watching this. You have to turn to look. This is what I would have to do to look. So 256 born. A minute. So we're doubling...

more than twice as many are born than dying. It's not good. John Whitebread, 100,000 babies born a day suggests that each woman of a childbearing age would need to produce about 28 babies a year and roughly 700 over her lifetime. The exponential growth implied by such a birth rate would be positively goofy. Nick and Aaron's lack of understanding of even basic mathematics is deeply concerning. I mean, John Whitebread, you

Do you want to host this show? Because you're now my favorite. I mean, put Aaron in place. I refuse to believe that John Whitebread was crunching those numbers in his head as he's listening. He had the benefit of sitting down with a calculator. Oh, that's crazy. John Whitebread. And why is it deeply concerning? We're not mathematicians. John Whitebread went to... We love your name, Whitebread. Went to Florida State, which is Notre Dame's biggest robbery. Yeah.

Yes, that's correct. That's what Nick said this weekend. Notre Dame, Florida State. Or last weekend they played. Charlie Ward. He goes, it's a big rivalry game for us. Notre Dame, Florida State. You know everybody that watches the Notre Dame, Florida State rivalry game every year.

John Whitebread gets it, dude. I mean, the way he goes, the exponential growth applied by such a birth rate would be positively goofy. Goofy's a wonderful word. Call it something that is goofy. Nick and Aaron's lack of understanding of even basic mathematics. That is good. Is deeply concerning. Wow. You two should be ashamed of yourself. That is goofy. Whitebread sounds like a made-up name for you, though, Brian.

Keep it going for blueberry white bread. Ashley Jones. Aaron saying he didn't want the pig to be brave going in to die made me laugh so hard. Like a pig thinking he's essentially Bruce Willis and Armageddon has stuck with me all day. That is funny to think of it. That's good to hear. That joke bombed so bad that I thought Nate was going to kick me off the podcast. Yeah. No, no, no. You did all right. I'll let you get one in. The next one. Yes.

and we're going to have a talk downstairs. But no, that is funny. I don't think I paid attention to it, but Ashley Jones, she did. She did. Apparently she likes bad comedy. Jason Fisher. I'm sure Barates is relieved Mick is the current punching bag of Nate Land and is not looking forward to him leaving the show. Correct.

They want you to stay, Nick. Yeah. Please stay. I like that Mick is passing along, too, instead of Nick. I like that. Yeah. I'll call you Mick. It happens. Chris Nene.

Did they? He did that. He did that? Yeah. Because I would have said NeNe. I would have said NeNe, I think. NeNe. Hey, Nate. I was at your show on September 26th in Oceanport, New Jersey. The one where their fire alarm went off at the beginning of your set. I thought you handled it like a champ, pushing right through and telling us to all completely ignore it. Anyway, it got me wondering, what is the most surprising, distracting, obtrusive thing that happened during one of your shows? Love everything about the podcast besides bread basket. Thanks. Stay safe.

Good night, America! That's so great. It's just such a nice ending. And then at the end, he's like, oh, by the way, I like everybody except Brian. It's just a rough end. Big fan of the show. Love your stand-up except bread basket. All right, I'll get out of here. Good night. I mean, the show, I had another fire alarm.

go off. I think I talked about it. We were in Seattle. You were there with me. That was two versions. One, well, the week before, it was back-to-back weekends, which was crazy. Week before at, where was it? Birmingham. Birmingham. Stardome. Stardome. At the Stardome, fire alarm goes off. Nobody gets up. We just continue the show. No one bats an eye. Not a big deal.

shows going on nothing's happening so you just kind of talk during it the police came or the fire department came they got it shut off and that was it we never no one ever left their seats there was no sense of urgency urgency then next week in uh seattle that uh what's that club called bellevue and uh bellevue washington yeah um parlor the parlor lot great club i might have a close i don't know if it's closed i think it closed i think it closed it was a great club and uh

So we, I'm on stage and I mean, I've got, I'm probably 30 minutes in. Fire alarm goes off. This one's in a mall. So they, we all have to leave. So during the show, I'm now, I went from on stage to walking downstairs with the audience. And it was like a long way. It was like six flights up where I was like. Single file, Jerry. Single file, Jerry. I didn't want to go all the way. I think, I don't think we actually went all the way down. We did go all the way down.

I did. I mean, you probably. Maybe I did. Yeah. Maybe I just. I went. Yeah. I went all the way down. We stood outside with everybody. Oh, yeah. Went back upstairs and did the show again.

And then everybody came back. Everybody's talking to us while we're in. I was like, can you believe everybody came back? These people love comedy. And he goes, we have all their credit cards. I go, okay. I thought it was like, you know what? These fans came out. They're not leaving. And then we have every one of their credit cards. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. Because you think people would bail, you know. And then I had to come back and do 20, 25 minutes. Is there a real fire?

No, no, just a fire alarm. But there's no... It was just a great time to do it on a Saturday night. Like, let's just try this fire alarm. So loud. Comedy club. I mean, just brutal. And you have to go back up in due time, which is just such a weird thing to get back into the jokes. But you killed when you got back. It was... Yeah, it was good.

You had some car alarms this weekend. Car alarms went off. Trains. Trains. Yeah, I had a couple car alarms. So far, the best train has been Cleveland. Yeah, Cleveland's the best. That was to literally where I'm in a two-minute bit, and I start, and I'm talking, but I can't hear myself talk. So I'm like, am I actually talking, or is just my mouth like, ah, ah, ah? And then you just get done, and you're like, okay, everyone's still okay. You just don't know at the end of it. The train is just so loud. So close.

It's crazy. Yeah, we had the car alarm went off. Oh, yeah. There's a funny line. Yeah, it was very funny. This weekend. Yeah. We'll probably, hopefully, better post it. We're posting the one, the first fire alarm that went off in Butler, PA. And then, so I had a joke about that. And so I think that's posting this week on my social media.

Nicole Patterson. I went to high school with a kid named John Doe, but it was pronounced like Doe. So she went with John D-O. Doe. It was pronounced like Doe. Yeah. That's almost like to be a good trick. He just spells it a little bit off, but he goes it's pronounced Doe. John Doe. John Doe. Dustin, that's great. Dustin Bogger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger. Boger

Thank you, Brian. Finally, someone on the show said what everyone's listening to already knew. Aaron really isn't that smart. Brian actually said Aaron isn't a genius. That's right. He's just smarter than us. Even that gives Aaron too much credit. Once an episode, he knows something Nate and Brian do not. Every episode, Aaron shows how little he knows. Amen. By displaying his difficulty in grasping simple topics. I love everyone on the show and what you're all doing. I hope Nick just moves in and stays on the show.

He might. Till's going to divorce Nick, and then he's going to be living here with us. Yeah, that makes sense, man. You're like the delicate genius. What is that from? Seinfeld. Seinfeld, yeah. We can't disturb the delicate genius. The delicate genius. Aaron's so much smarter, but he doesn't know how to just walk around everyday life. And that's what this person gets. Well, he's saying he's not smarter.

Well, I'm saying that I still think he's smart, but he can't grasp simple topics. He knows about Matateo, though. Is that an Indian? Matateo? Is that an old Native American? He just played at that casino. It is so hard to say that name. What did you just say? Matau. Mateo. Matau. Mateo. Matau. Matau. Matau. Matau. Matau. Matau. Matau. Matau.

The Tao family. They came in Mattel. Hey, can you hear me, Mattel, Mattel? That's what he says. That's the joke they would do in Notre Dame's locker room. Hey, can you hear me, Mattel, Mattel? People loved it.

It was mean, though. And then he had a fake girlfriend. I never called myself a genius. I want to make that clear. That's true. That's not a title I gave myself. I haven't heard this genius. It got to my head pretty quickly, but I never originally said it. I haven't heard any of this genius talk around. Yeah, he said it very early. Yeah. Well, we've been talking about this. Just out of deference and respect for you, I'm not going to. He's not bringing the fool on. That's right. He always holds back a little bit.

He's like a golfer when they said, you ever swing full speed? They go, never do full speed. Dustin Johnson said, I've never swung full speed. 85% is the most. We only get 85% of air. He won't give us the full 100. Notre Dame stats, though? Boom. He's hitting us with 93. Yeah. You want to talk about Matatao? Matatao. Matati. Matati. Matati. Matatio. Luisid Taps. When Bubblegum says Colorado instead of Colorado.

Colorado. I noticed that too. Yeah, Colorado. I say some words wrong as well. Yeah, that's real southern. Yeah. Colorado. There's another one that's super southern. My dad says it. I can't think of them right now. There's a tornado. Tornado? Yeah. There's a tornado coming. Tornado. Aaron would say tornado. I imagine your family said a tornado. When Alabama, where y'all...

You know, were you shunned? Yeah. Like, did you, I don't know the family that when they go, Hey, there's a tornado warning. You go, it's tornado warning and get the penguins. And then you would explain what it is. My dad's family. None of them have Southern accents. They're from Alabama. Cause your brother went to, is it, what's another name too? And your dad, my older brother, my older sister and my dad. Yeah. Every, your whole family went to Notre Dame. My younger brother did not. Where did he do? He went to Purdue.

Wow. I mean, come on. That's a rival. That's a rival. Notre Dame-Purdue? That's a rival. That is right up there. True breeze. Yeah. I feel like you've watched football one day, and then you saw these games, and then they just stuck with you that they're rivals. And that's it. And you've never continued to watch football. You watched it one day.

And then from that, that's all your information on football and what's going on. All of my information on baseball, football is literally from 1992 to 1998. Here we go. It's a nice big game. New York Giants, Seattle Seahawks. Every year they meet some weird, like,

So you're, I mean, Purdue, it's unbelievable. That's an unbelievably hard school to get into too. It's a good school, yeah. Yeah. But why did he choose the only one? He just couldn't get in? I don't know. I don't know what went into it. I think if you can get into Purdue, you could get into Notre Dame. Yeah. I think that was more of like, I'm going to show you.

Right? I think Aaron knows what happened. He just don't want to say. Tell us your family secrets. I think if you can get into Purdue, you can get Notre Dame, right? Purdue's a... I don't know. I don't know. You know. You can't. You know. It's a good engineering school. I like that you're... So if you are making fun of... I knew it was an engineering school. Yeah. But if you're making fun of your brother for being dumb, I...

He went to Purdue and that's y'all's running joke at the family. Like, oh, the dumb guys here went to Purdue, went to an actual university. Do you know how stupid everybody else would feel? Like I couldn't even get into a community college.

And y'all are like, oh, here comes the Purdue. Do you know anything? And then y'all, what do y'all talk about around the dinner table? True briefs. Scientists stuff? Y'all do like how to cut a turkey angle-wise? Y'all do it like a perfect way? You bring out a protractor to cut the turkey? I mean, are y'all the smartest family in the world? No. In Alabama? In Alabama? No, dude. No, we're not. He'll still wear that jacket, the bush jacket, every now and again. Do you call your dad father?

Did you say father and mother? No, I say dad. You go father, mother. Good mother. Can you pass? Mother dear. Mother dear. Did you have a nanny? Did you have help? No. Did y'all have help? No. Look at that face. Look at that face. Nate questions this. We didn't. If I drove to your parents' house, is it going to be just... It's just like a...

Is it a house that's like an architect? It's like glass. It's like the one that sticks out. That's like glass. And you're like, his dad's an architect. That's the house he tried out. No, no. It's just a house in the neighborhood. He built it himself. His dad's a principal. They did Netflix. Oh, yeah. Your dad's a principal. Documentary started to sound pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we're getting down to the bottom of it. I mean, everybody's the smartest human being on earth. You know, Delstrate.

So Nick says unbelievable way more than Nate does. Also, this is the only episode where the term unbelievable would be used appropriately and almost never is. Yeah, I like that. That you say unbelievable a lot. You brought some unbelievable to it. I say it a ton. I'm trying not to say it. I didn't know I said it. It's funny, though. We did an episode on hoaxes, and he says unbelievable was never mentioned. Yeah, that's the time. Y'all got in me head. In me head. And I'm trying to not say it. I'm doing that like, too. I say like a lot.

I know. And I actually kind of started trying to get that out. I don't think I'm going to get it out for this special, but I'm going to get it out for after that. Kendra L., hi, folks. When Balloon Boy happened, I was at work, and we had the TV on, and after about five minutes of watching, I stood up, said it was totally fake, and walked out of the room. My boss told me I was a heartless monster and said we should all be praying for you, this poor kid.

So that was awkward for him in the end. Anyway, love the show and very much looking forward to hearing what you, Aaron booklet and Mick are generally confused about in the world. You're Mick now. I love it. It's stuck. It's stuck. It's in Mick. And then, yeah, that's, I love that too. Like to say it's fake and then it's not, that's great. That's great. You are heartless. I'm heartless monster. That is a, that's getting after it. Two more CJ. It's been three weeks since I've mentioned this and Nate is still,

Not following Aaron on Twitter. What did you do, Aaron? I can't understand his tweets because they're too high educational. It's all Purdue talk. I tweet in Latin, actually. It's a tough follow. I think I follow you on Instagram. I'll follow you on Twitter. I don't have Twitter on my phone. Me either. I haven't gone through and followed anybody else in a while, but I'm going to do it. I'm going to unfollow you on Instagram. One's got to go. One's got to come.

Gerald McCormick. Not sure if it would be considered a hoax or an urban legend, but I'd love to hear your guys' take on Bigfoot. So here we go. We lead into it. Well, we are going to do, so this week we are going to do some urban legends and just scary stories. You know, even though it's two weeks for Halloween stuff. And then next week we will be playing a show, one that we already taped.

That is about Bigfoot. We actually brought a guest in and talked a lot about Bigfoot. And it's a fun episode. Did you bring in like a Bigfoot historian? Yeah. And Bigfoot. Actual Bigfoot came in. He said, I would love to do it. The guy from that museum that's seven feet tall? Yeah. And so next week I will be in Los Angeles taping my special on the 29th. So I will be gone...

I won't be back until... So the next one we record will be November where we have comments. Next week won't have comments, but next week's a new episode. Bigfoot. It's a good one. It was a good episode. But still leave comments and we'll read them in two weeks. We'll read them in two weeks. So leave them. So all right, let's get started with these urban legends. That's a lot of comments right there. A long one. So all right, let's talk about some urban legends.

We watched, uh, we were talking about Halloween. He said there's one Halloween. Uh, one of the coolest things we have done on this tour, I think is, uh, we watched Halloween one on the drive-in and that's where we took that big bag of popcorn. And where was it? This was the Louisville one. You remember the name of that? Uh, Sauerbeck family drive-in. Awesome. Awesome. They were cool. Great family. We met his whole family and they, uh,

He goes, y'all want to watch a movie? And we're like, and we played Halloween. It was kind of cold. We have some chairs. We set chairs out just in a gravel parking lot by ourself and had a little radio. And we watched the movie just sitting alone. I mean, it was one of the coolest things that I've got to do since doing comedy. And who was it? Mike, who's a videographer, who's with us on the road.

The homeless pimp. The homeless pimp. Follow him on stuff. The homeless pimp doing all the great videos and photos. So he said, because I left early. I was cold. I go on the bus. And he was like, there was like a random car that had a light. And we're watching Halloween in an empty, giant car.

A lot. Nothing but woods. And there's just like, there's just a random car. Like it was almost like a. Nothing but woods and trees around us. And there, and we see, it's a cop car or a security car that's got that light and he's shining it. Spotlight. Spotlight looking into the trees. Pretty scary. Pretty scary to be, we're watching a show that Halloween where the guy is shining lights and it was, you know, it was something, it was pretty wild. It definitely added to it.

That's what we're doing. We're spending the night at all these drive-ins. We're on these tour buses and we usually leave. Ricky, our bus driver, usually comes anywhere from

Depending on how long the drive is, 2 to 5 a.m., and then we go to sleep on the bus, and you wake up in the next town. So, I mean, we get kind of locked in for that drive-in, and we're just kind of there all night, all these drive-ins by ourselves. So it's been very cool. We watch Halloween, which I think has an urban legend in it.

Yeah, I mean, there's some basis of truth to it. There's a couple of serial killers that they think Michael Myers may be based on. One is, was nicknamed the co-ed killer. His name is Ed Kemper. He was six foot nine. He was a certified genius with an IQ of 145. Wow.

That could be you. I thought you were taller than you were, too. Is this story hitting a little too close to home, man? Are we knocking? When you said you were six feet tall, I was thinking he was like 6'3 or something. I was like, oh. Part of me thought he could have played football. You're six feet? Exactly? No. You're taller than that. No, I'm about six feet. See? I would have thought he was like 6'3, 6'4. My head, I was like he was a great football player. Yeah. What's his Notre Dame name?

He's smart. He's too smart for football. His family looked down on it. Yeah. Because that's Neanderthals. Purdue? Could have played. Yeah. Yeah, Purdue. Could have got in. One of the best rivalries in all of football. Drew Brees. Drew Brees. Notre Dame. Purdue. Could you name another Purdue player? That's tough. I don't know. I feel like there's a tight end out there. Didn't Jim Gaffigan play at Purdue? Did he? No, he...

I think he played football at Purdue. I think he played football, but I didn't think he played at Purdue. I thought he went to a smaller school. Purdue is like the school where you get a big white tight end. Where you're like, where'd he go? Purdue. He played there. Yeah. They never had a white tight end, but it's true. What are we looking up? Jim Gaffin played football at Purdue. Was it Indiana? Georgetown. Georgetown.

Now Georgetown is far from the Florida House. Look at that picture. See that picture on the bottom left? Oh, yeah. Oh, Purdue. So he did make the Purdue team. Wow. That's pretty cool. Oh, that's fun. All right. Yeah. We don't need to go there. All right. So anyway, this guy was a serial killer. He killed his grandparents. I've heard of him. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Nate is like, Nate doesn't want to talk about it. He's like, look, I like this guy. We don't have to. And no, I remember, I've watched something. Yeah, there was a Netflix series recently. Yeah, Mindhunter, right? Yep, that was it, Mindhunter. So he's one person that he could have been based on. There was another one, Stanley Stiers. He was before Michael Myers came out when he did his stuff. Yeah, he did his stuff in the 60s. Yeah.

Stanley Stiers was born in 1912 in Iowa. However, a nurse swapped the Stier infant with another baby. Both families returned with their children. However, the other family who had the real Stiers baby got into a car accident and they all died. The hospital learned what the nurse did and she was sent to prison.

Are you with me so far? Yeah. Unfortunately, this crushed the Stiers family and they descended into madness and alcoholism. Eventually, they had a baby girl named Susie. The family treated Stanley poorly and kids bullied him. He was never allowed to go trick-or-treating either. One fateful night after he was not allowed to trick-or-treat, but Susie was allowed to go to a party, Stanley finally had enough. He went on a killing spree, murdering Susie with a butcher knife, then his parents and even the family dog.

Well, that sounds more based on Michael Myers. That's almost exactly what Michael Myers did. It is. Now, there's some question whether this story is true. Yeah. Yeah, that seems crazy. So they accidentally... I mean, dude, there's got to be... Do people even know? What was that other documentary we talked about early on where they switched babies? Three Identical Strangers? Yeah, yeah. They put them all... Like how much... That was adoption though. But I mean, think about if you have a kid.

You actually see the kid born, and then you later find out that's not your kid. Yeah. And then just to be upset about it. I mean, how do you, as a parent, I mean, obviously these parents are not normal. That's not, it's crazy to... We made it not normal, though. If it's like all the babies, there's like 200 babies in a little baby...

You know, area? No. Let's put one here. Yeah, well, look, I think your hospital would be a nightmare. I think if you ran a hospital, I think it would be, I think people would go in. It would be the best run hospital in America. No, I think there'd be a great chance everybody would just have to accept if you go there, who knows what baby you're walking out with. We will have all the great Notre Dame rivalry games going. Florida State, 92. Full time. Purdue. Purdue.

And then you go, and then I think, I imagine the person checks out and then they just grab baby and go, thank you for coming after your baby here. And he goes, is this my baby? And you go, yes, it is. And you say it confidently. And that person walks out and then someone goes, you think that was the right baby? And you go, I don't, I've never known. I just grabbed babies all day. And I wonder if that could happen, you know, I mean, yeah. How do you know? You know, it's not like they're doing something. Well, now they, there's multiple ways they've stopped that from happening, right? Yeah.

Yeah. The babies and I guess they tag them and, and yeah, we branded Harper when she was born. Do it at the beginning. Yeah. Just put a big H on her back. Like she's in a part of a fraternity. Don't they put chips on pets now?

They do. Yeah. Yeah. My dog is chipped. It's chipped. Yeah. That's to warm you up. So they start doing it to the human. That's right. That's just to ease you. You go, well, they're doing it to the dog. Bill Gates is doing it. Yeah. Probably, man. So, yeah. But now they, you're, yeah, they, I mean, they put a, when they're born, they put the thing, I think a wristband on their feet or something, you know, but I mean, it could still.

It could still happen. You don't have any kind of parental intuition to tell whose kid is yours? I would imagine that I bet you could feel something. Do you feel that about a dog too when you got puppies and how you're picking out

You know. Seriously, like where you're like, this is my dog. No, I don't. It's kind of two different things. You're talking about just straight up picking out a puppy. Can you tell? Yeah. If that's your dog. I don't know if I know what you're. When you go pick out a puppy, you're saying, because we're talking about physically having the baby. So could a mom that delivered the baby would have, there's a sense there that they have a connection.

You're talking about just going and a guy goes, we just had a bunch of puppies. And then you go and go, I feel like that's my puppy. That's my puppy. Yes. That is just the one you like the most. Yes. So, I mean, it's not exactly the same. So what if you pick out a different baby?

Yes, but I mean, that's not how babies... Babies are not dealt like that. There's not a sign in a neighborhood that goes, free babies. And then you go in and you go, yeah, this woman just had eight of them. And then you go, oh, okay, I'll take a look. And you grab a couple. I feel connected to this one. Yeah, yeah. So there's... I think with a baby, yes. I think a mom... I think you could...

You could slowly, you know, we're animals. So there's got to be, because they, there's a lot of real animals that can turn on babies, their own babies. If something's wrong with them, if a baby's born and it's injured, they cannot build like some love towards it. Where that stand with that kid, if that story was real, these people could always have, like when they're finally told that,

They're probably, you know, they probably go, oh, that's not crazy to them. Like they, a lot of stuff would start clicking and going, that makes sense. I think that would happen. I think, yeah, you have a, you know, I think a mother has a,

special they know yeah there's something inside of them that you know that clicks and mother intuition intuition mother tuition mother tuition mother tail how to pay tuition montau tail and he comes out as a big song

The most interesting part, though, so Halloween is directed by John Carpenter. When he was a student at Western Kentucky University. Oh, couple of lums, me and John Carpenter. Yeah, he grew up in Bowling Green, apparently.

He took a psychology class and he recounts the time at his class, took a field trip that changed his life forever. Carpenter encountered patients, but there was one child who stuck struck with him. The look translated to the film where the psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis used these words to describe a young Michael Myers, this blank, pale, emotionless face, black as eyes, the devil's eyes. So basically he saw a kid in this psych ward that was just blank stare and it

It helped create his Michael Myers character. Wow. So he, yeah, like he just, like when he went and actually really saw a kid, he was like, there's just nothing there. I was thinking, you know, Michael Myers, like they, cause when they describe him in there, does he have any emotion? Does he have, you know, he just kills and doesn't feel anything. We're like guys do that. The Iceman, uh, use of that documentary. There's an HBO, the hit man, the hit man. And, uh, he just did not feel anything. He could kill and then just go home and have dinner with his family.

He just, there was no emotion. No, they don't care. And there's something that's missing. And Michael Myers, there was, you know, something that was missing. Something's missing, all right. And that mask, we didn't, I mean, this didn't do anything. We talked about the mask. That mask came from a William Shatner, Captain Kirk. Yeah. Did we talk about that? No. I felt like we talked about that night. You were looking at Aaron like, come on. I felt, I remember we talked about it a little bit. It was like a,

The mask was from like a Star Trek thing. That was supposed to be Captain Kirk and then they just took it and changed the eyes and altered the mask to what it ended up being. But that was just a Captain Kirk Star Trek mask when it started. Yeah. It's a famous mask. Famous mask. It is scary. Who would you rather encounter, Michael Myers or Jason?

Like if you're like, you got to encounter one of them. You don't know when you're ever going to encounter. I feel like Jason, cause he's always got the chainsaw, you know, you can hear it. Yeah. Like he's always running with the chainsaw. It's always on. Yeah. The other, it's like, seems more like he could just kind of blend in at a bank more. Yeah. You know, like, well, they're both about seven feet tall and Jason also has a machete, the chainsaw. I don't think he walks around. I think it's easier to think about the Texas chainsaw massacre, which is in the name chainsaw mass, Texas chainsaw massacre.

So that was the hint that that was a chainsaw, yes. Yeah. You could tell he had his chainsaw. Yeah, when they put the title and the name. Jason, I'm not even sure, uses a chainsaw. Maybe he did. I've never seen Jason. I don't think I've ever seen it.

So you, if everybody wants to know what it's like being friends with Mick, that's what I would, I would cut, I'm going to cut that clip up and just to go, what, they go, what's Mick like? And I'll go, it's like this. Here's what Mick's like.

Never seen it. Yeah. Jason, those swords, do you want Michael Myers or Jason? Who do you want to encounter? All you're told is you're going to encounter them one day. You never know when. And then maybe you turn the corner. Maybe they're going to come in your house. You got to get away from them. Who do you think you have the best shot at getting away from? So what are the weapons, though, that they have? I feel like... I mean, it doesn't matter. They're seven feet tall and they kill people with anything and everything. They can murder you with their hands.

So don't, we're not getting into like, they both have the same weapons. One of them has a pickaxe. Like, you know, if it's like a crazier, you're going to like. I mean, you're, you know, you're already dead. It doesn't matter. You're killed. You're going to get both of them actually. I feel like maybe Michael Myers. It's been a while since I've seen the Friday the 13th movies, but watching Halloween, there were some people that gave him a little bit of a struggle. Yeah. I mean, Jimmy Lee Curtis keeps getting away. Yeah. Uh,

Yeah, you could run. Yeah. I feel like how would we die in these movies? Like I'd die in like a bank, I feel like, or something like that. Yeah, I don't think anybody's died in a bank ever in any of those movies. But they actually, Jason went to space and they still never went to a bank. I mean, that's how far off they went. They put Jason in space.

And they still, they go, what if we do it in a bank? And they go, well, that's not believable. Space would be believable, but bank would not. Brian, I feel like, would be like a teacher who would be like murdered in the school. Where they're like, all right, we're in the school. Let's kill Brian. Yeah. It just...

I don't know. I don't know about you. There's a lot of urban legends here. Do you want to eat in particular? I don't know. Let's just go through some of them. What's some interesting ones? All right. I'll just start at the top, and if you guys see one you want to talk about, we'll go Marilyn Manson played Paul Pfeiffer on The Wonder Years. You guys heard this? I heard it. I did hear that. Yeah, that was a... It's not true. It's not true. But everybody thought that... Then you just go to IMDB, and you're like, oh, I guess he didn't.

yeah but i mean this was before you could do that so that was that was a rumor i actually met the guy who played paul pfeiffer oh really yeah i met him at a wedding at marilyn manson he's a lawyer too he was at a wedding he's a friend of mine got married in new jersey and yeah he was there and he was friends with him yeah yeah that's crazy not marilyn manson the guy yeah so he's not an actor anymore he's a lawyer yeah he's a lawyer how'd you know that

Somebody else I know knows him. Okay. Wow. He could have also been at that wedding. He's not the Goonies guy. No. That guy's a lawyer too. Yeah. Did we talk about that on the podcast? The truffle shuffle kid? No, I think it was on the bus. Yeah, the fat kid on Goonies is a lawyer. He's a lawyer to a lot of comedians. Great guy. I've met with him and he's not my lawyer, but-

He was a great dude, but it was funny. I mean, he's a real lawyer. He's a legit lawyer, but it's funny when you go meet with him and you're like, oh, he's a lawyer. Jamie Lee Curtis was born with both male and female sex organs. Not true. There was supposedly an interview where she admitted to this, but according to Snopes, that's not the case. Some people think they... What's Snopes? It's this guy...

I don't know. I couldn't think of anything. Yeah. It's Snopes. According to Snopes. Yeah. It's the website where you go to look up urban legends. Like Snopes. Yeah. Yeah. Some people think her dad was Tony Curtis and her mom was Janet Leigh and they had this perfect life supposedly. And some people think this rumor just started because out of pure jealousy. They're like, oh yeah. They had a perfect life. So let's say their kid.

I've met her before a couple times. She's crazy nice. That's good. Did you get a vibe that she was born with both organs? No, I did not get that vibe. That's crazy how pervasive those kind of rumors are. I thought that was... I heard that years ago and I thought that was still... You know what's crazy impressive about her? I met her and this is like 15 years ago or around.

Almost 10 years later, I see her again. And I only met her, I was hung out there for like five or 10 minutes. She remembered my name. She was like, hey, Nick. I was like, wow, that is, you know. That's crazy. It's a crazy memory. That's super impressive when someone can do that. It's very nice too. Yeah, made me feel good. I was like, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So don't talk about her having two old pirates. Well, she, but that's crazy that she has to answer that question. Yeah. That's what's, that's what's insane is like, so then she gets asked, Hey, are you have male and female sex organs? And you'd be like, no, I don't. That's insane to ask me that. Like, well, we have to ask. And you're like, someone just made that up.

someone just said that it's out of nowhere and now she has to answer for it yeah and you know i hate that but jamie i do need to ask you for the record you go you just give a big and i think that's terrible but it's on the paper and i need to ask uh just set the record straight uh mr rogers wants a navy seal not true not true so i i had always heard these true there's some but yeah yeah i

I can read like... A true one? If you know the true ones, read just three headlines. Make one true and not true. All right. Let's see if we can guess. All right. Let's see here. I still think Mr. Rogers was like a sniper though. Yeah. Part of me that he had... I was so convinced by that. Is that rooted in anything or is it totally made up? Well, there's zero chance. I don't know why you would ever think. He just... It was just a thing where like, oh, he has tattoos. He's always got that vibe. Yeah.

Just people always said it. He had tattoos. Yeah, that he had all these tattoos and he was like, and it wasn't crazy. It just was, he was a Vietnam vet. His job was he was a sniper in there.

and i was like okay you thought that made sense it it made sense because it just sounded like oh okay maybe that was the case yeah i mean i had enough friends a guy that talked as quietly as he did but and just why not i had friends could parents you know they had friends that were snipers not snipers but you know they're like oh wow this is crazy you're you know in vietnam marine you know in a crazy battle yeah and he's just like a regular dude not like

I mean, not Mr. Rogers kind of tone, but... Yeah, people thought he was a sniper. They thought he wore the sweaters to cover up tattoos. I love it. But it's just because he was so down-to-earth kind of guy. Well, maybe he would be a good sniper. He's very even-keeled. Heart rate doesn't change. Yeah, it just kind of sits there.

He's killed a lot of people, and now he's just talking to kids. All right. Circus hippo eats dwarf. All right. Easy, guys. This is... Have you heard this? I haven't heard it. All right. But I believe hippos are the most dangerous animal. Little people are also. We're little, so it could happen. I think I would die by hippo. If it was me and a hippo, I'd be dead.

So that was at a circus. A dwarf was jumping on trampoline. I think it was before the show actually started and bounced sideways right when a hippo was yawning and went in the hippo's mouth, swallowed him. People thought it was part of the show. I don't know about the swallow, but I think the... Well, he's going to read three. One is real, right? And two are fake. I was on board until the swallow. We're going to finish the next two. What eat? What do you think eat means?

Well, it's a weird that he bounced. Then all of a sudden we're talking about Dumbo. Not Dumbo. What's Pinocchio? Like inside the whale. Yeah. I think Pinocchio was in a whale. Jonah? Jonah was in the whale. No, Pinocchio wasn't in a whale. Geppetto! Did he really? Yeah. I think the wood would swell. So maybe you could just lie to someone and get out. Rip them apart.

Headlight flashing is a gang initiation. Have you heard this? Yeah, I've always heard that. Yeah. I haven't heard it. Don't flash your light to someone like if their lights are off at night because it could be a gang initiation. We're all in a gang now from these drive-ins. Well, that's what they... Yeah, there's flashing lights. But that's... So if you ever... If you see someone's headlights off, you know, what do you do? You flash your lights. They'll say, hey, your lights are off.

You ever do that driving at night? Yeah, I do that. So they're saying don't do that because if you did that, that was... They'll turn around and follow you and kill you. Kill you. I feel like there's not gangs anymore. I feel like. Is that? I mean, no, there's plenty of them. There's a lot of gangs. Like there was a big thing growing up, like the Bloods and the Crips. And now it's like... Yeah, they're doing real good. I don't know they are. Yeah, they are. That's a hoax. No, the mafia is probably not like it was.

But gangs are, you know, I mean, look at cartels. Cartel is mafia and gangs. The cartel is thriving. Yeah. In Mexico. But I wouldn't call them a gang. Would you call that a gang? A cartel? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of a gang. I don't know if you think it's like gangs are, you know, what's that movie where they had the... West Side Story? West Side Story. Yeah. I think that's what you think of a gang is. Or even Bloods and Crips. Yeah.

Okay, I think there's blood and crips. I don't think there's fun gangs where it's like we just fist-fought and went home. Someone's going to get caught tonight. I think now there's straight-up major gangs that can... I think they're a lot more organized. MS-13. I think they're even more organized now than they ever were. But, yeah. All right. Mole people are a group of underground tunnel dwellers that live underneath New York City.

So those are the three. So you got to pick one's real, the other two are not. I think I know the answer. I'm going with the... Mole people lived in the subways and there's a whole community that was underneath it. Yeah, that's true. I'm going with the dwarf that got swallowed. Okay, you're picking the true one. Oh, the true one. Oh, I'm going mole people. Yeah. So only one of those three actually is true? I'm going the mole people as well.

Yeah, I'm going. I think I've looked up mole people. I think they did an interview. They did a news story about it. That'd be a great documentary. With mole people. So they just live in darkness down there? That's crazy. They live in darkness and they come up and someone goes to the grocery store. There's different levels. There's a hierarchy. And so someone's below that doesn't go up. So which one was? Mole people is correct. Is correct. Wow. Yeah, so there's a hierarchy. They go and they live down there. And they have people that would go out and go get groceries.

And then they come back. And so, you know, some people don't come up. I heard there's like a little city down there too. It's basically homeless people that live in the subway. Yeah. Well, there's so many different layers. Yeah. Subway at New York is eight stories, something like that. It goes way down. And a lot of the tracks no longer are in service. So they just live there. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, the temperature stays the same the whole time. I mean, yeah, it's... Are there still... They're still there now, they think. I think they did an interview. I think they filmed... Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. That'd be a great guest. Yeah. They have all stories about real, so that's good. Yeah. I think I was almost... I thought you were going to go for it. I'm seeing a lot of like... When you say you bounced over...

When you go, you bounce off the trampoline and just win in his mouth. It sounds like a cartoon. I was on board until the inside the mouth where I'm like, I'm 100 pounds. I'm not going inside anything. I could be eaten. I'm a good target to be dead by scratched or bit, but not swallowed. Yeah.

Spider lays eggs in a woman's cheek. You ever heard that? In a woman's cheek? Like, yes. I've heard different variations. Does the spider bite you or you get scratched and you're in spider bite and you're like, oh, and then it swells up and it hatches. Oh, wow. And just thousands or hundreds maybe of spiders.

Come running out? Inside your mouth. Well, on the outside, like here. Oh, they bite you and lay the eggs inside your skin. Yeah. Wow. I've never heard that. That would be a good movie. Whether that's true or not, I'll be thinking about that for a while. Yeah. I don't think I'll... That's a nightmare. It seems so... It doesn't make sense. Well, they... Is that how they lay eggs? According to science, no, they don't. Yeah. But that is a common... I mean, I've heard that a bunch. I've never heard that. I've never heard it.

Yeah. But that would be crazy. Could you imagine just like having like 35 spiders where you're like, oh, excuse me a minute. I just got to, you know, you just spit out like six spiders. You do swallow a certain number of spiders every year, right? Yeah. I don't know about that. It's like six a year maybe or something. I feel like it's more than that. Is it spiders? It's bugs and spiders. Yeah, bugs. You're never more than six feet from a spider. I read that somewhere. I don't know if that's true. Here we go.

It's because of social distancing. You're never more than six feet away from one. Was it more before COVID? Yeah, since COVID. Yeah. It was less. So right now we're near who knows how many spiders. Probably, yeah, the ceiling. Who knows what's going on up there. One, two, just up there living it up. Yeah. Killer in the backseat of the car. There's different variations of this. I have a joke about that. Oh, yeah. My journey joke.

This Journey song where I did that. Guy's in the backseat of your car. He just waits till... What's the different variations? Well, the different variations are... One is a woman's driving home at night and her car keeps flashing its high beams at her. But from behind...

And she thinks that person's chasing her, but really that person is trying to warn her there's a killer in the backseat. And every time the high beams happen, he ducks his head down. And then there's another variation. The woman's getting gas and the guy announces over the loudspeaker, come in, your credit card didn't work. And she's like, what? And she goes in and they're like, no, there's a killer in your backseat. Different variations like that. Yeah, neither one of those are true. Correct. So I had a joke about that. I did it on Comedy Central.

So we probably couldn't play the clip there. But they said, when I start the car, I always have the song Don't Stop Believing playing because no one can, everybody loves that song. So even if there was a killer in the backseat, he would just go, it's a pretty good song. And then he'd climb up front and we'd become friends. Yeah. Don't stop believing.

What's the next thing? You don't know the words? Don't stop believing. And then what's after that? You know, it's relieving. It's not believing. Relieving? Yeah. That's why I let you go with it. That's why I kept saying don't stop. Yeah.

Wade Boggs drank over 100 beers on a cross-country flight. I've heard this. So there was an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where he plays himself on there and supposedly drinks like 67 beers cross-country flight. And then Charlie Day, one of the actors on it, said, according to when he was on Jimmy Fallon, that he asked Wade Boggs about that rumor. He's like, it was actually 107 beers he drank on a cross-country flight. Okay.

That's from getting to the airport, waiting at the airport, flying across the country. Is Wade just a big-time drinker? I don't think so. He's not too big. He drank 107 beers. I would say so. That's the dumbest question. You think he's got a problem? I don't know. He drank 107 beers. Yeah, he's a big-time drinker. What kind of beer, though? Was it IPA? Are we talking Coors Light? It has to be Coors Light. IPA, I think he died.

IPAs get too much alcohol in it. If he's drinking Coors Light, he's going to be smashed. But you got to think he's a big dude and works out. I mean, probably hammer 10, just pound back Bud Lights, Coors Light, just pound them back. Here's a question. How many times did he go to the bathroom if he drank 107 beers on that flight? The sheer volume of 100 beers.

Aaron, could you do it? Let's get one of these geniuses from the comments. Why don't you crunch those numbers for us? You know what I mean? We're so real little snappy. Aaron! Hey, dude. I'm afraid to do... Back off! Johnny Whitebread, why don't you crunch those numbers for us, dude? Why don't you send us a spreadsheet? 100 beers times 12 ounces is 1,200.

That's a lot of liquid. Imagine just how much you have to pee. That's what I'm thinking about. Yeah, you'd have to pee a lot. You'd be definitely...

smashed me i think that flight maybe when he did this cross-country flight now is six hours right uh so maybe back then probably 90s maybe it was even 34 hours no maybe it was seven hours you know they said six and the thing did cans of beer used to be smaller size no no but i mean 100 i think if he's drinking bud lights i think there's guys i like the idea that he's not

If you asked, is he a big drinker that he would not be, but can then also still do 100 beers? Yeah. He's like, no, I've never really drank before, but I did once. I did all my drinking one time. Who was the other? There was a pitcher, David Wells, who got smashed. That's supposedly true. And I met him at the, I went to a Grammy's party and I met him and I was talking to him, hung out with him. Yeah. Didn't ask him that.

I feel like how many people ask him, is it true that you got drunk? How many people will ask him? I thought he was on acid.

He either took acid or he was at a crazy hangover. But the acid, he threw a perfect game. Look up the David Wills thing. There's a documentary about a guy who was on cocaine, right? And threw a no-hitter. Well, Doc Ellis was on LSD. LSD, okay. LSD, that's acid. Yeah. And he threw a no-hitter. A no-hitter. A perfect game, I think. Ooh, I can't remember if it's a perfect game or a no-hitter. Either way, unbelievable. Yeah, unbelievable. And then David Wills did something, too.

Maybe I was hungover. Yeah, it was up partying all night. I remember... Didn't go to sleep. I remember when I worked at... Wait a minute. It was in Chicago at Jake Melnick's. And they would talk about... Because the Levy restaurants, the people that provide all the food for...

the Chicago Cubs and the White Sox, and they did the restaurant. It's a big restaurant company. And they would talk about like they would be hanging out with Mark Grace before, like the night before until 3, 4 a.m. And just kicking it. And then those dudes all roll out of bed at like 2 p.m. Mark's on first base, like just playing. And you're like, dude, we, he just went to bed. And he had played like a noon game.

Yeah, I mean, they're professional athletes. So apparently he was drunk. Dave Wells was drunk. Yeah, because he was partying all night from Saturday Night Live. And it was a matinee. He called it a matinee. A day game. A day game, yeah. And he was out all night partying. He, by the way, loves to kind of tell stories about, you know, he loves it.

Yeah, so Doc Ellis was on LSD. I guess David Wells was just hungover. So Doc threw a no-hitter, and then did he throw a perfect game? Doc Ellis? No, also he threw his perfect game while drunk, which allows for the argument to be made that this is the greatest game ever pitched. No, Doc Ellis was a no-hitter. David Wells was a perfect game. Correct, correct. And he was just, I mean, can you imagine? I mean, he had to be technically probably still drunk. Yeah.

It's in his bloodstream. You know, just feeling like you're, you know. He said he was half drunk with bloodshot eyes, monster breath, and a skull rattling hangover from partying Saturday Night Live party until 530 in the morning. Yeah. He got one hour sleep. Yeah.

And pitched. Yeah. And just for context, it says in this article, there's only been 23 perfect games ever. So it is a crazy feat. And that's a hundred something years hung over or not. It's wild. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's even crazier to go. That's the, is it the best game ever pitched? Yeah. Because you know, he's always against the, he talks to the other people. Oh, you do a perfect game. You're in real good shape. I was at one hour sleep and was drunk. Yeah. I rolled out of bed.

With one hour of sleep into a perfect game. Crazy. Crazy. Orange juice man, someone suggested that we talk about this. Yeah, what is that? So there's another variations of it, but apparently the story goes a guy either was caught by the cops. He had a bunch of LSD on him, so he took it all not to be caught. But he took so much that he started believing that he was an orange. And if someone touched him or squeezed him, he would become orange juice.

Or some variations is he just thinks he's orange juice and he's supposedly a psych ward. He thinks he's an orange. That's where it gets sad. The first part of it is like, oh, that's funny. He thinks he's orange juice and he's like, he isn't a psych ward. You're like, ah,

It didn't work out. The scientists say that there's no proof that that's a real person, but they say when you're on LSD, you think you are one with everything, so you could think you're an inanimate object. So they said it's possible. It's possible that a guy probably thought he was...

He was orange juice or an orange? Well, there's different variations. One is that he thought he was an orange, and if anyone touched him or squeezed him, he would become orange juice. He just starts going at people like, you look thirsty, and just trying to squeeze his hand into a cup. Some stories just say he thinks he's orange juice. Yeah. And then, okay. And then I would imagine a version of this happened, and then it's just been blown out into being like, he's got a psych for it. That's what I would imagine.

I think all these had some grain of truth. Yeah. And then it just takes off. Ankle slicing car thief. I've thought about that a lot. What is that? That I think about a lot. That one will get in my head. They hide under your car. They cut your Achilles heel. You fall and they steal your car. Wow. Or rob you or do whatever. That's awful. Because you can't stand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's terrifying. If you have great shoes, I wonder if that'll protect you. Like the high top.

That's what a lot of people wear. They wear... People put a piece of wood in the back of their... You know that thing that you think is to put your foot in the shoe? Yeah, shoe horn. You're actually supposed to leave it there. Yeah, that's protecting yourself. A lot of people do that for protection. HIV needle in the coin slot. You guys heard this? No, but it makes me... I don't think I've ever... Listen, it's not what you think. Go ahead.

This is what I've heard a lot about people putting hypodermic needles in coin slots and you reach in. This is when there were pay phones. You would reach in for change and you'd get stuck by a needle. Now, there was a case in 2009, a student at Middle Tennessee State University, my alma mater,

was stuck by a hypodermic needle after reaching into the change dispenser of a Pepsi machine located on campus. She was treated at Middle Tennessee Medical Center and later released. A second syringe was discovered a week later in a vitamin water vending machine at the college's student center. No one was injured in that incident. But besides that, there's been no cases of anyone ever getting HIV from a needle. Uh,

Vitamin water is also not that healthy for you. I zoned out of that. Say that one more time. I don't know where I was at. I saw you drinking water somewhere. So someone did do a needle? There was in 2009, supposedly, at MTSU, someone got stuck by a needle that someone had left in a change suspension. Yeah.

But there's been no cases of anyone getting HIV or AIDS. So they're leaving it where your money comes out? Yeah. And then the needle is like sitting there. The change dispenser. The little flap. I always think that with a cop, when a cop, you know, they wear gloves and they go, do you have a needle or anything on me? But they always just dive their hand in their pockets. And I'm like, well, if they have a needle, wouldn't you be a little more careful? Because they're arresting someone that possibly could have a needle.

Do you remember Halloween as kids? There was a crazy thing where it's like, you got to check the candy. There was a crazy fear when we were kids about there being needles. Razor blades. Razor blades. If you ever got an apple, they would put a razor blade in it, and you would throw it. Is that on here? That's never been true, though.

I remember being terrified. We would have to look through candy. I still think about it. Well, I still look through, we look through Harper's candy. You do. And what do you think is in it? I mean, you make sure you're not, you know. What are you looking for? Is there coronavirus in this?

I think you're just looking, you just, you know, I don't know. I don't know anything. Is there something that she shouldn't eat? You know, I don't, is there, whatever. You're just, as a parent, you're going to just go, let me just make sure. You just got a bunch of candy from strangers. Right. Let me peek around. Like, let me just make sure. I mean, they dump it out anyway. Yeah. We don't go crazy, but, you know, we're not analyzing. What if he gets like a metal detector and he just like, shh.

No cases of strangers killing or permanently injuring children this way has been proven. Commonly, the story appears in the media when a young child dies suddenly after Halloween, but it's always been shown that children do not die from eating candy given to them by strangers. Yeah, I mean, you're usually going to a neighborhood where you know everybody. Yeah. You go to good neighborhoods, like go to rich neighborhoods. There's a neighborhood in Nashville we'd go to.

And it was like one that notoriously you go there and walk in the candy. You know, it's like full size candy. Yeah. You remember how great that was when you would get the king size crunch bar or something? It was just like we had a dentist across the street from us and he would give like a toothbrush and everybody would be like, you're awful. Yeah. Vegetables. Here's the celery. Yeah.

Paul McCartney died and was replaced by a lookalike. That's a great story. You ever heard it? No. Yeah. The urban legend...

That he died in 1966 in a car accident and was secretly replaced by a lookalike. Who was a better songwriter. Yeah, yeah. He did good. He's like, look, guys, just keep going. I know we really love Paul. He never wrote a song. He's not done anything, but we just got to keep this going. He did. You're Paul McCartney. 1967? 1966, I think. So they were in the thick of it. Right in the middle of it. Yeah. Yeah.

And then they thought that the Beatles were leaving clues in songs. And there's some examples of that. Abbey Road, when he walks across in that famous photo, he's not wearing shoes and he's out of step. They thought that was a clue. Yeah. He's even had fun with it. Plus that famous interview where he said, I'm not really Paul McCartney. Well, the Chris Farley, when he does an L sketch, you know, where he interviewed Paul McCartney, he asked him about it.

You could, I mean, truthfully, what if it was true and you could almost never prove it? No one would ever believe, you know, he could come out and go, no, I'm, I am not. And just keep saying it and no one would ever care. No one would ever believe him. Yeah. That they ever did it. Has anybody faked their death and it worked out? Elvis. I was just thinking that. Yeah. Yeah. If you believe it. I've been to Elvis's house. It's Ricky, the bus driver's hometown. Tupelo. Tupelo. Yeah.

Is there anybody that's... They faked it, and if it worked out, how would we know? I know they get caught. I mean, maybe they eventually get caught, but even just get caught. I know people try to fake their death. Some of those pirates in those museums, they said that they...

Like no one knows if they escaped and lived a life. They could still be alive today. I'm sure there's been non-famous people that maybe fake their death or disappeared and you just assume they're dead. Insurance. On the run. And they truly never, you know. Carole Baskin's husband? Yeah. Carole Baskin. I think there, you could, you know, it'd be great if you could ever talk to, if you ever saw something where they just, a guy's like, I have had a whole nother life. All these people in the world think I'm dead.

And I've lived this life and just no one knows. I think people like, I imagine there's guys that are, they like that feeling. They love just having something else going on. Yeah. You know, and you have something that crazy. Some people like to be on the run. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, there's a lot, I mean, Whitey Bulger was on the run for more years as someone else than he was as himself. Yeah.

Yeah, he lived as a separate person, right? For many years. Got caught just recently. Yeah, just like at a playground. Somebody was like, you know, you seem like Whitey Bulger. Yeah, in Santa Monica. They caught him, right? Wasn't it at a playground? I don't think so. No, I think it was at his house. But someone put it together that lived in the same apartment that he did. But they just caught him. I mean, a year ago, two years ago. No, it's been longer. Oh, really? He's already had his trial and died since then. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow.

Time flies when you're having fun. Santa Monica. Some of these Halloween movies that are based on truth. Amityville Horror. That was a real house. Yeah. I know there's a comic. He lives there. He lives in Amityville. This is that house? No, he lives near it. He grew up there. Tim Gage? No. He opened for Jon Fennett forever. Everywhere. I don't know. It doesn't matter. I just haven't. Tim Crampier?

uh yeah was it really i think so yeah ah good job nick tim and i'm type his name i love him he's a great guy yeah he's the funny comic nice guy i mean it sounded like you're making up a name what is it crumpier i think c-r-u-m-p-i-e-r i'm gonna let nate spell that i-e-r crumpier matateo like that yeah

Let me do comedian. Yeah. Never give one a LinkedIn as their first result. Tim Crump. K-R-O-M-P. Is that Tim? Yeah. K-R-O-M-P. Yep. Yep. That's him? Gotham Comedy Live. So he lived in Amityville. Yeah, he grew up there and...

It's a very funny comic. Is that in Long Island? I have a lot of blanked on this. We're all friends with him. Yes. South Shore of Long Island. Yeah, he grew up in there and they would see that house as kids and stuff. I was directed by a woman, Helen Schaefer, that was in the original Amityville Horror. She's a TV director now, directed me in private practice. Oh, really? Yeah. It's not as good as my story, but it's close. Yeah.

Well, anyway, that's based on a book. The family who lived there said that this really happened. And I mean, do you guys know the story? No. No. Basically, there was like a massive murder in the house. And then this family bought the house really cheap not long after it. And then just crazy stuff started happening. Paranormal stuff started happening in the house to the point where they left it after 28 days just completely.

got out of there because it was just such crazy stuff happening. But they took a polygraph test and passed. And, um, but, uh, since then people have bought and owned the house and said, nothing's happened there. But, but that's what they're forced to say. I was saying it on stage and I kind of stopped saying it. What? What happened? That's a great job. What is it? Yeah. I don't know if, uh, well, the ghost story, I can tell the ghost story. We, I used to move, um,

I delivered appliances. You know what? That's the part that actually, so that I can add in somewhere. Let me write that down. Sorry. I just want to add it into this new hour and like, and I have a place for it. And that just made me. All right. So there, I delivered mattresses and we go deliver a house in Belmont. There's old,

Part of town, kind of by Belmont. Belmead, I guess, kind of over there. Near where he lives. A lot of old money. And this is, you know, he's not doing this podcast for the money. He's got a ton of it. And they, so we're delivering it. And I'm standing in the back of the truck. And my buddy goes and knocks on the door.

And the guy's not coming to the door. He's not answering the door. So he's like, he's like, I don't know what's going on. And I'm in the back of the truck and I can look and I can see inside the window and I'm watching what I, the silhouette of the guy just kind of walk around the house. And I mean, it's an obvious silhouette. I'm looking at the silhouette. I'm going, that's the, I go, the dude's right there, man. That's crazy. Like, I don't know. And we're banging on the door, doorbell. Cause I'm like, there's no way he's not hearing us. He is

On the same floor of the door. And I'm looking at him. You just keep pointing at Aaron. Like Aaron was involved in this. So I'm, I'm looking, I'm pointing and I'm looking at him and he goes, all right. He goes, I don't know. And I was like, whatever. Cause I'd always pull the mattress and you deliver it. You always pull it to the end of the truck.

And you sit there and this was a twin bed is an easy bed. And so you just wait. And then if he's there, I would bring it to the guy. And so we start walking off and the guy comes and he's in a towel and he's like, sorry, I was in the shower. And I was, I mean, in my head, I just didn't, I was like, whatever. I didn't believe it. And my buddy just, my buddy just went in the house by himself.

And I just stayed at the truck because there's a twin bed. It's easy. He just went up there and he's like, man, this is a cool house. You know, it's an old house. He goes, yeah, it's haunted. He's like, there's a ghost that lives here. I'm surprised you didn't meet him. And he's he's around quite a bit. And so he came back and told me that I was like, well, that I was like, that guy said he was in the shower and he did have a towel on. He was wet.

He ran out of the shower. So obviously this guy was in the shower. And this whole time we're knocking, I'm watching a silhouette walk around the bottom of the house. So I think that's a ghost. I think that's my ghost story. Either of you guys? I mean, so unless someone's lying, I know I saw a silhouette. I know that the guy came out of the shower. Is that a redumped glass of water? Yeah, I wasn't going to do the whole joke. Just in case I do it on stage. There's more. I had something.

But that's the true story. And what do you think it was? I think it was a ghost. I mean, I like ghosts. I believe in ghosts. Do you think a ghost is just a straight person, or is it like a white sheet? A straight person. I think it's a sheet. I think the sheet with the eyes. I think it's like Casper is how I have always looked at ghosts. Honestly, though, in my head, I'm like, can you see just like a hologram, or is it like...

This is just like somebody in a full outfit. I don't think you ever will see just a straight up person and you feel like you could be like, how you doing? Nice to meet you. He's wearing a... I think you see glimpses of it.

And you're always seeing kind of just glimpses. I don't think you're ever full on just talking to a other person. It's not like the sixth sense. It's not like this. Yeah. Where it's, you know, you have a relationship with, you know. There was in my parents' house growing up, there was one little area where like my brothers, where all our rooms were. And you had to go around this little corner.

And I would always be kind of like freaked out around that area because like when it'd be cold, you feel like the different, the heater or the air. So I was always kind of scared. And I'm on crutches like right after surgery and I'm going by it. And my brother came out and was like, huh, and scared me. And I just hit him like with the crutch. I just nailed him like in the instinct because I was like, it's a ghost. I don't want to die. It's something. It just felt like it was something. And I just nailed him.

Yeah. Some people think ghosts are like glitches in a matrix, like we were living in a simulation, and that that's like a glitch. Yeah. Or a parallel universe and somehow we're crossing over. Even Elon Musk starts going on crazy stuff about that, the parallel universe. Do y'all have any ghost stories? I don't. No, none personally. What about the... Do you ever play the game... Scientifically, do you think there's ghosts or do you not believe in it? Because...

There's no way scientists... No, I'm open to believing in it. I've never had a personal experience, but I'm open to it. And I believe people that... I know people that are smart, grounded, intelligent people. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that have seen stuff and you're like, well, I'm not going to discount your experience just because I don't have one. You remember there was a game... That's what gets you in Notre Dame. Open-mindedness. Logical.

Take that, John Whitebread. I'm now all John Whitebread. No, I'm still a big fan. He's my favorite. Yeah. Wasn't there something called Bloody Mary? I mean, you would play the game. You would go in a bathroom, and if you say, what do you- Yeah, say the name twice or- Three times? You would end up seeing something in that mirror, though. At least I did. You saw something. Most people didn't, but it's- Most people. Yeah.

I'm telling you though, there was not, there's just a light. It's you would see it without saying it a couple of times, but like when you say it, like I remember being a kid and being like seeing like a different light, but you also saw it when he didn't say it.

So that could have just been, I don't think I ever tried to look without saying it. Yeah. I just believe three. Trust the candy man. Candy man. Bell witch was another one. Bell witch is here, right? Yep. Yeah. Which is in, uh, Adams. Yeah. Adams, Tennessee and Robertson County. So that was, uh, the bell family lived in this property and, uh, they said they were terrorized by keep bats. Uh,

A woman that I think had a property dispute with him years earlier and then died. And that was a really famous story. Andrew Jackson came, visited the property just to see it because he'd heard the legends. And he brought all his men with him. And they got terrorized throughout the night. And their wagon wheels locked up. And sheets were thrown off. And he said he would, I think later, I think he said he would rather fight the British again than deal with the Bill Witch.

There you go. That's a good one. The British need to step up their game, apparently. I think it was the British. Run through these. Scream. Scream's my favorite movie. That's why I put it on here. There's a new one coming. There's a new Scream coming? I did not know that. I love Scream. I have my bowling ball of Scream.

Screen bowling ball. The writer of the movie learned about the Florida serial killer called the Gainesville Ripper who was going around terrorizing Gainesville. Todd Berry might have been in school. I don't know. When was that? 1990? Todd Berry went to Florida. University of Florida. You never think that, right? Seems crazy. The Exorcist...

That's a real thing. Late 1940s, Catholic priests perform a series of exorcisms on an anonymous boy documented under the pseudonym Roland Doe. 14-year-old boy was alleged victim of demonic possession. The revenge was recorded by the attending priest, Raymond J. Bishop. In another, priests visited Roland in his relative's home where they allegedly observed shaking bed, flying objects, the boy speaking in guttural voice. They have this on video? No. Oh.

Oh, they recorded it. Someone else was in there. Yeah. Like, yeah. And exhibiting an aversion to anything sacred. Supernatural claims surrounding the events were used in the exercise. That's a movie I don't think I'll ever see. It just always felt so creepy to me. It is, man. I just don't think I'll ever watch it because I'm like, you know what? It'll be fun tonight to watch that movie. I met a priest, Bishop Chobey, I think we've talked about this, who went to...

What's it called? Seminary? Or what's it called when you're trained to be a priest? Seminary. Seminary. And he was at seminary with this guy, this priest that did the exorcism. Yeah. Wow. Knew him and talked about it very matter-of-factly. Yeah. Yeah.

The Shining, I know that's on here. Yeah. Like that's another. I stayed at the hotel where it's the outside of the Shining. Yeah. Wow. So it's in Mount Hood. It's another joke that I said. On stage, we were going to Oregon. That's when I was on the cab on the way to Oregon. There's a lot of trees. Oregon has a lot of trees. Yeah, yeah. I told the cab driver, I go, you guys got a lot of trees out here, huh?

He goes, yeah, I don't. And I was like, it's more than I care for. Like it's, I go, it's an overwhelming amount. And he just didn't know. He was like, okay. And it's, I mean, it's, it's, uh, it is overwhelming when you see how many trees are there where you're, you go, if you got lost in those trees, it's over. You're not, there's just endless trees that you, as far as you can see. But we stayed in the, at the hotel. It's the outskirts, not a big hotel.

But it's just the outside is what's shot there. And the inside is... Which is funny, when you see the outside of this hotel, it wouldn't... There's no way the hotel is big enough to... You can tell that it's not big enough. Yeah. But the inside is somewhere else. But the outside, they have...

DVD players in every room and you can get a copy of The Shining and I watched The Shining in the hotel. Wow. That's pretty cool. Shining was a, yeah, Shining, I remember watching that. It was one of the first movies that really got you. I think I was like 18. I still don't like being in like late at night in a hallway in a hotel by myself because of that movie. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, basically Stephen King said he and his wife were staying at this hotel right before it shut down for the winter. So they're like the only ones in the hotel. And he used to talk about how creepy it was. Yeah. And that's led to that.

Munchkin hung himself in The Wizard of Oz. I guess everyone's looking at me. Maybe because you spoke up immediately. Back in my doctorate of Munchkin. All right, thank you, Jamie Lee, for finally setting us straight. Nick Novicki, Munchkin hung himself in The Wizard of Oz. Thoughts on that? Did it happen? Did it not? Answer the question. I hate asking this question, but we have to know for the record. Actually, it was a great uncle of mine.

of mine. No. No. Supposedly see it. Did not. There is all these crazy stories about like the partying that went on in The Wizard of Oz. But here's the thing. A lot of times when it's like me and other little people, like I've done some of these movies with other little people where we're in like a, you know, Vancouver for a couple months. And I'm like,

And people are like, oh, my God, they were so crazy. You guys were nuts that night. And we're like, we had a couple beers. Maybe we had one beer and we were watching football in the bar. And they're like, these guys party like wild.

It's like, I think a lot of that. Yeah, because the attention is drawn. Because they just see us. There's a lot of little people. They just see us together at like a little people convention. Or, you know, we'll have a couple beers or a beer or something in the lobby. But they can get crazy. They can get crazy. They get crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a...

That's not for this podcast, but there has been stories. I've had some crazy stories. But you know stories about Wizard of Oz? I know all kinds of stories about it, but the fact is there was nothing really crazy. I don't think anyone hung himself. What were some of the stories you know, though?

It's nothing really. I mean, it was just more like, you don't know any stories. The stories are, I mean, there, there definitely were, there were people that like, yeah, I'm like, I'm a, I'm an expert. Nothing really happened. Uh,

But mostly it was just them kind of getting together and meeting each other. And they would drink or something at night. But all this stuff with like Judy Garland was like, ah, this one guy was hitting on me or grabbing my butt. And it's like, it was all made up crazy stuff. Shut up, Judy. Shut up. Get in there. Put your dumb slippers. What do you know? But it wasn't, it wasn't the case. It was just like, they would hang out and they would drink though. So there was like a bar that,

you could like walk to. So people would like... It was the first time you see little people. It's not like now where you can go to a little people convention or you meet people on the internet. They had never seen little people. So it was like they were hooking up in romances. When did this movie come out? I think one little person... 1938. One of the little people did have like a gun or a knife or something and was like gonna kill like another one. Like was like...

getting crazy. I never heard this was the munchkin that hung himself. I always heard it was the guy that worked there. That's one urban legend that is a guy hung that he did accidentally. He fell. Press play. Another story. Well, this guy, this is a guy analyzing it. So it may not. Oh, so that's, that's the body back there. Yeah. Now the, the story that they don't, you see him swing.

In that version. See, there's another one. He's moving a little better. No, but I think you see him go. You see him like. That right there is swinging back and forth. I know, but you see him. There's nothing. Then he swings into the frame. Supposedly, and I've seen a different version. The Los Angeles Zoo loaned some animals, some real animals on the set. And that's like a crane or something that's flapping its wings. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting.

Yeah, have you heard this? The story I heard was that it was one of the... Stagehands? No, it was one of the munchkins who was so... They were being so mistreated...

on the set yeah i don't think they were well that's just you know i'm an expert in this and you're they were treated great they were treated great they were lucky to they didn't make a ton of money no one made a lot of money i mean it's 1938 everyone's making like 25 bucks a week or something it can't but they couldn't have been treated 1938 i'd imagine you're not treated as good as you would be now yeah right uh especially if you're being a little person yeah but yeah i mean uh

But it's, yeah. I mean, didn't they do, who came from that movie? Was there some guys, some of the little people ended up doing a bunch of stuff, right? Like they-

There was a guy, Jerry Marin, who was in that. And he ended up becoming the Oscar Mayer Wiener guy. And he just passed away a couple of years ago, but had all kinds of money because he bought up all this land. Like used his money to buy land in LA. He's like the smartest dude ever. He's like the smartest guy. And there was a lot of other people that were like, you know, had regular jobs. Billy Barty was my hero. I was too young to be in it.

But Jerry Marin, I think he wasn't even old enough. He just kind of was like, yeah. Billy Bart is your hero. Didn't I say that was your hero last week? Yeah. No. No, I said the other guy. P.T. Barnum. P.T. Barnum. That's who I meant. Big difference. One guy was like, look, I am your master. You will do this trick. Yeah. Other guy created Little People of America. Yeah. Well, kind of the same. Three Minute and a Baby. Three Minute and a Baby Ghost. You guys know this? No, I don't. No. All right. So, well, let's just show it to you. Good old Tom Selleck.

Do you know this movie, Three Minute Baby? Three Minute Baby, I know. It's Ted Danson, Tom Selleck. I'd like to watch it again. And Bob Saget, I think. Bob Saget? I may be wrong about it. Ted Danson. I think you're wrong. Tom Selleck. Are we just going to tell when we see this? I'm going to put the point. Let us see it. All right. Look in the background when they walk. We're about to see. If you're listening at home, we're watching Three Minute Baby, and there's a ghost in the background.

Oh, gosh. Where? Yeah. I missed that. Okay. So go back. We should have probably not played that whole clip. It was 30 seconds. Yeah. Right there. Can people see it at home or no? If they watch on YouTube, they can see it. Did you see it? If not, we're posting it on Instagram. And see if you can notice the baby. I don't know.

I won't see. We can play this 65 times. I won't see it. I don't think Nick's found the TV in the room. So he doesn't know where that's at. My vision is not. Should I show it one more time? Yes. Just show it. Just so we can point to it. You know. Nick, watch behind the curtains. Pause it so you can see it. Oh. See. Wow. Yeah.

So it's crazy. It's in the back and there's a curtain and it looks like a little boy or something or a kid. Yeah. And he's standing there. The story is a kid died in this house and the movie was filmed. Big Cheers fan. Yeah. Loves Ted Danson. Yeah. So the kid died in the house supposedly. But the truth is it's a cardboard cutout of Ted Danson wearing a top hat and a tuxedo. Yeah.

I love Ted. So yeah, he's great. I am. That has a lot to do with. Yeah. I'm a big fan. He's a wonderful, I've heard he's the nicest person ever too. I met him. Yeah. And I drew did whatever she last show. He was just, Oh yeah. What is it? The good place. Yeah. And they just like, Ted's just a true joy. Yeah. The true, true joy. Uh,

So it was just a cardboard cutout. They did it on purpose, just being funny. No, they did it on purpose. There was a scene that got cut out of the movie where Ted Danson, I think, is holding the cardboard cutout of him. Because in the movie, he plays an actor, I think. That's supposed to be a cardboard cutout of a movie he'd done. But since that scene never made it, there was no context why that was sitting there. Yeah, so they thought it was a ghost. It looks so creepy. That's a good one. Yeah.

All right, we're about to be done. What's the scariest haunted house in America? I want to see that. All right. I mean, have you gone to haunted house? No. You've never went to one? Ever? No, I haven't. I remember being a kid and my uncle being like, that house is haunted.

and we were like okay let's not go there okay but I mean like so like a haunted house and you know that you pay to go to yeah like the fun ones where it's like a ride you know like a haunted hayride yeah so you've done that yeah yeah so you never went to a haunted like a

I would do that tonight if we were like, we're on a haunted hayride. Yeah. Well, this whole conversation, I mean, you've changed my plan. I was like, you're in a haunted house. You go, no. And I go, okay. And I go, never even like one of you go, yeah, I've been to one of those and I would love to go tonight. I mean, I went from, I don't think you know what this is, to we now have plans of going to an actual haunted house. I mean, that's, I mean, the turn of events that was is unbelievable. So,

We, all right. So yeah, you've been to one. I would, I would, I've been to a few on us. I don't love them. I love them in theory. I do love them and I want to go to them. I get so scared of them and they, we got to go tonight. It always, the Jason at the, the Jason at the end, that's what would scare me. You always know. I remember we would go, you know, with my dad and we went there or my, my dad and our family, family friends, the Dentons. And they,

We all go. We get done with it. It's an insane experience. It's outside. It's going through the woods. And then you get to the Friday the 13th. There's always a Jason at the end. And they're always going to get you with a chainsaw. That's where Jason and the chainsaw is. I'm sure he had a chainsaw in the movies, but I think Machete was a lot. But they always have a Jason guy, and he'd always have a chainsaw. And it was like, when you get to the end of it, just do not run.

If you don't run and walk, he's just standing next to you with a chainsaw, and then you can go about your day. If you run, it's over. Like, he's chasing you, and now it's a problem. And so it was like, do not run. It's like being attacked by a crocodile. So our dads are both telling us that. They're telling all of us kids going, when we get there, do not run. If you just walk, he's going to just be next to you with a chainsaw. If you run, he's going to chase you. So we're all doing it. And then Brandon and...

Brandon and Drew, the two other kids, they would go, okay, okay. And we get to the end and we're walking and then they, boom, they're gone, dude. And then Jason just, and then, so now we have nothing because Jason's now chasing them into the parking lot. And we ended up finding them in just the back of someone's truck.

They just were laid down in the back in the truck bed. That's great. They just finally found a truck and just laid there to hide from them. What if somebody else drove away in the truck and now they're just in there? They did. And we had it the last time we saw them. The story takes a sad turn. I didn't want to get into it. But it's...

They're just in the back of someone's truck. Do they have to pace it out where that guy's chasing you and then he has to come back and rest up a little bit? I think there's a few of them at the end. I'd imagine. Depends on where you go. I think they're getting too real now. I think some of them, they're starting to get where they can touch you. I want to see the story because I looked up one time, Scariest Haunted House. One, do you stay at it?

Do you spend the night at it? I don't think this one you do. That sounds awful. It's like, are you awake? No. Ah! Yeah. So the scariest haunted house in America is in Summertown, Tennessee in Lawrence County. Wow. Did you know that? No. How far is that? How is Lawrence County? It's Lawrenceburg. Yeah. Tonight. That's where, yeah, my father-in-law lives in Lawrenceburg. So not far at all, right? Yeah. Hour and 15 minutes. Hour and something? Yeah.

It says, you really don't want to do this. This is what every person says after failing to complete the tour of McKamey Manor. It's the most haunted, terrifying haunted house experience in America. One, you're not allowed to attend until you watch a two hour long video, sign a 40 page waiver, create a safe word, pass a physical and more.

That sounds pretty awful. Yeah. We need a blood sample for you to get here. I can click on the website too. You probably will die. But it says intense audio, lightning, extreme low visibility, strobe and fog effects, damp and wet conditions, physically demanding environment, close contact with creatures. Physically demanding. Might be touched, very real and graphic scenes of horror. If we want to punch you in the face, we can. Sign this.

Sounds pretty awesome. I mean, I don't know if I'd do it, but... Playing on Netflix, Dark Tourist, Episode 8. So you can see something about it on Netflix. I guess. Dark Tourist, Episode 8. I watched a news story on it. I mean, you can get, like, buried...

It's just crazy stuff. No, I'm not trying to do it. No one's ever finished it. No one's ever finished it. Yeah, according to this news article. How long would it be? This is the one I looked up. I thought you stayed there, but I thought... Maybe you do. No, that makes more sense. No one's ever finished it. Would you do this, Nate? I mean, you want to. I just don't know. If anybody goes and does this, let us know. If you're listening to this, I would love to talk. If someone goes to it,

Email us, natelandandnatebargatze.com. I mean, especially if you're in Tennessee and you can come and tell us about it, we'll have you on the podcast. And I'd love to see what they, you know, to talk to someone about just what happened. What if somebody has like an awful scar on their face? Like, we had a great time, but I am missing like a little bit of my cheek.

Well, this one you're going to get touched. I mean, was this the main one? Was there anything? No, this was the main one. The main one. I don't know. I wonder if they have like COVID protocols at this house now. They're like, they have to like do everything. This might be the best time to go to it. Maybe they can't touch it. Yeah, I don't know. I found this article from last year. So I don't know if it's changed this year. That's pretty wild, man. Yeah.

Yeah. Crazy. All right. Aaron just yawned. I'm sorry. Good night. Sorry, we're boring you. He's not wearing his NASCAR jacket. How'd the podcast go? Well, if they're not interested, I don't know why I would be. All right. That is it for this week, everybody. Remember, next week,

We will have the episode that we already pre-taped. It's a very fun episode, a Bigfoot episode. So it kind of goes with the Halloween stuff, and then we'll be back with you November 1. Nick won't. Nick will be gone. This is Nick's final episode. This is my... Mick. Thank you, Mick. If Mick's ever back here, obviously he'll always be back on the show. But, you know, I think this will be good. I think it'll speed the show up and get back to being funny. Yeah.

So yeah, go to Nate Land, follow all the stuff, keep subscribing, do all that stuff. One night only tour, just a few dates left. So if you want to come out to see that and then next time I see you, I'll be done. I'll be hopefully done taping the special. So I'll let you know how that goes. All right. We love all of you. Thank you.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land podcast.