#12 Grocery Stores
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What's up, everybody? This is Nate Barghetti. Welcome to the Nateland podcast. I'm sitting here with Aaron Weber. Brian Bates, as usual, still trying to get rid of him. I would like to, if it's every week, if I was trying to get...

I've been doing auditions of other... And we just can't take a hint, the two of us. No, no. If y'all just saw two other guys that look like y'all walk out right before you got here, you're like, what are y'all doing? You're like, nothing, nothing. We were working on something. And it's just constantly trying to audition other people that are just... Just Luke Combs and... Yeah. Combs and Mike White. What if they both came? Yeah. Stuart from the Big Bang. But y'all still have it. Y'all still have the part. Y'all did better than them. All right. All right.

I mean, speaking of sports, we had big Titans played last night. Crazy game. I feel like we should have won more. I'm really excited about the Titans team. Some people listening to this don't care about sports, but Titans are, man, we got a team. We got a fun team. Just a lot of receivers, running back. I mean, everything's pretty fun.

big names. It feels good. Uh, so I'm excited about that. I also did, uh, Jason day, uh, a golfer. He does the, they do the brighter day foundation and, uh, he does this like celebrity golf tournament. And I, I went and did that this weekend, uh, which was a lot of fun. I've done it, did the year before. I probably continue to do it. It's a played an amazing course. Uh,

And we got to hang with his family. People listen to the podcast on there. Rika, his buddy Rika and his wife were big fans of the podcast. Listen to it all the time. Listen to every episode. Yeah, very nice. So they said I was mean to you. She goes, you feel like you're mean to me. And as usual, my comeback to that is they say I can't read.

So I don't feel bad. Yeah, but that's different. How's that? What would be worse? Me being a little mean to you or other human beings think a 41 year old. They're pointing out facts and you're just choosing to be mean to me. Yeah. That's the difference. That is different. That is. They're telling the truth. They're speaking the truth. Uh, so yeah, we did that. Uh, met Bubba Watson, another golfer. Oh, nice. It was super cool. Uh,

He was, I got to talk to him. I was very excited to meet him. I've yet to meet him. And he was very nice. These guys all played? Yeah. Bubba and Jason do. I mean, it's Jason Day's event. He always brings one PGA guy that plays. I mean, it's just, I get paired up out of a group of guys from Texas that were very nice. I've always been very lucky.

that when you do these celebrity golf tournaments you because you get just paired with a group a lot of times they won't know me and so i think you get it's a little bit better now but it was definitely i mean i've done it where i you feel like this group is like who do we like it's the lowest payment they did yeah just like who you did one right yeah yeah

Oh, yeah. I think the guy you golfed with was more known than you were. He was. Well, you were the celebrity. I mean, how great would that be? Bates. I mean, and then you see you hit. I know. If you're not going to be a celebrity, you got to at least bring something to it. I was the worst golfer and lesser known than two of the five guys in our group. Where was that at? In Murfreesboro. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's great. We got Brian Bates.

It was just celebrity Brian Bates. I've seen him on YouTube and stuff like that. He used to work at Channel 5. They just use your regular job as the credit. No, he used to work at Channel 5. Oh, he did? Yeah, he was a producer at Channel 5. Yeah, that's cool, man. That would be very funny. They use your regular job, day job, as your credit. Yeah. We have credits now. Nate Land Podcast. No one knows my name. No one knows your name, but...

I met some listeners in Birmingham this past weekend. They said they loved the podcast and they said, say hi to Brisket. You're going to be the most famous one on this podcast. You're not going to be a guy who can't go to the bathroom in South America. What did he say? In South America? Ricky...

Seinfeld reference. Yeah. I forget so many because I can't even go to the bathroom. So, yeah, it was a fun weekend. I drove. I drove up from Nashville to Columbus, Ohio, six hours. It was a nice drive. I think I needed a good drive is not bad. I needed like a loan. Yeah. I mean, just...

There's music on the way, podcasts on the way back. I mean, that took a long time. Did you buy a new album to listen to in the car? Yeah, bought a new album. I listened to the same songs. I'm not an adventurer. I listened to Taylor Swift has a new album. I listened to hers. Yeah, what did you think? It's fun. Yeah. Yeah.

It was good. Yeah, she's obviously very good. You and his 28-year-old fiance have the same taste in music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that album, too. I'm a big Taylor Swift fan. Yeah, I think it's... She's doing well. She's doing well. Yeah. You're so nice. I like it. I don't...

I don't always move on with music. Like I'm not always, I'm not searching. I listened to what I listened to. And when I'm in the mood to listen to it, I want to listen to these songs. Yeah. And then I don't. So if you find something new, you find it, you're not looking for it. I'm never looking for it. Yeah.

Never. Never going, oh, I got to catch it, and then I can tell pretty quickly if I'm going to like it or not. Yeah, this guy's good. We did a show a few weeks ago in Huntsville, and he turned me on to some new music. Yeah. Really good stuff. We listened to some sad songs together on the way back. Yeah, we said, let's pick out our saddest songs to listen to.

And with the words are. Oh yeah. It's like a sad story. Yeah. I'm into that sometimes. Sometimes you want to just hear a sad story. Yeah. You just like it. Yeah. It's a cry. That's what people say about this podcast. Yeah. Sad. That's what. Yeah.

We're in also want to let everybody know that you guys are doing shows. I have a drive in tour that's going to be all over. We're going to Scranton starting in Scranton, PA to Houston doing 20 cities and

So come out to those driving shows. Some of these places I've been to, look, I think you've got to look at these. I'm going to put on the best show I can put on for you. And you've got to look at it as it's bring people out, sit in your car, watch outside and drive. And it's a pretty unique time. And I think that's how these are going to be done. I think they're going to be fun. And we recorded a little something to air on YouTube.

on the drive-in shows. So, uh, it should be fun. So I'll be doing that. Uh, Aaron will be at Zany's in Nashville, September, what'd you say? 30th, September 30th. Yeah. Recording my first album. Oh, wow. That's exciting. Yeah. Your first album is, uh, you know, I was told when I recorded my first album, it's, it's a check Mark into where you were in your career. Cause I, he's at first I didn't want to, and then they were, and it was the best thing I ever did. Uh,

Let's record that album. That album helped me and yours will help you. And you're, it's a good thing that you're doing it. Cause sometimes you tend to think, I don't know if I want to do it, but that's how I felt for a long time. And it kept getting pushed back because of COVID.

And now I'm like, oh, it's here. It's around the corner. So September 30th is coming up very soon. Yeah, man. Uh, so yeah, go get that. And, uh, uh, Bates, you will be in Lebanon at the Capitol theater and Lebanon to see getting too big. Yeah. He's doing theaters. Yeah. Who are you there with me and a couple of comedian friends, Johnny W and Ed Wiley, two very funny guys. And, uh,

This will be my return to Lebanon since the Wilson County livestock. This is the big... This is the big one. This is the chance to redeem myself in front of my mom and friends. Did you offer tickets to the guy that bought the CD? Just free tickets? I should, shouldn't I? Yeah. For helping me out. You should reach out to be like, he threw you a bone by getting that CD. That auctioneer. Yeah. Yeah. Get him. Maybe you can invite that heifer. He should bring the heifer out. The cow. The...

That'd be fun. Well, that's good. So what is it? October 3rd? September 30th. Aaron is there. October 3rd is Brian Bates. Lebanon. So if you're here in Nashville, go check all that stuff out. All right. As usual, we're going to start with some comments. People have been asking where are we getting these comments from. We make them up. No, never again.

The comments come, they come from YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, Apple podcast reviews is where you've, where Brian has grabbed all the comments from. Also, we did set up an email and we believe this is the email that works, uh, at Nate or sorry, Nate land at,

natebargetzi.com so if you want to send any comments through email you can go to nateland at natebargetzi.com or go to youtube twitter instagram apple podcast reviews and we're going to try to find it and put it out there so alright let's get the first one katie visagio visagio visagio visagio v-i-s-a-g-g-i-o

Nate, Brian, and Aaron, y'all are a breath of fresh air as a mom of two kiddos who just went back to school. Some levity and break time is a must, and listening to you guys is a great way to relax. There's definitely comedy, but also some nuggets of genuine life advice. Love it. Thanks for showing up every week. That's very nice, Katie. Congrats on the kids going back to school. That was a lot for the parents, for the moms specifically. Yeah.

I mean, dude, because they got pulled out last March and then straight up just rolling through. You don't get that summer. I mean, you don't get the rest of the school year. I mean, it was like two months and the kids are just home, running around. It's a lot. What kind of genuine life advice are we giving them? I bet there's stuff. Nuggets, like she said. There's nuggets. Little nuggets. I don't think she's going to...

really do anything good because of this podcast, but I think she'll get some advice from somewhere else and we're the advice that gets tagged on to that advice. I think she'll end up grabbing something from some real scholar and then remember

So we said the opposite. Yeah. Some dumb thing we said. And, you know, and that's, that's like, I'll give advice. Anybody ask for advice. I'll tell them. I love that. We start with some really nice comments. Cause I just know that the mean ones are coming and I'm looking forward to it. Well, you know, it's not all about the mean ones, but the nice, nice people should get a voice. Absolutely. Call me Brian. I appreciate it. Yeah.

David Daniels. Hey, y'all. I just wanted to say a big thank you for the quality comedy and for giving me something real good and funny to listen to after long deployment to the Middle East. Thanks, Nate, for serving the troops on your USO tour as it means more than you know to us. God bless. Well, God bless you for doing it, for serving. Yeah, it was amazing to go over to the Middle East. I mean, that guy had to be over there for a long time.

So, yeah. Thank you for doing it. Do you remember which groups you've performed for? We've had people ask. They're all up there. Yeah, they've pointed that out. And they could tell, the brigades. Yeah. Well, that's who it would be for. That's a lot. That's a lot up there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've been over there like six, seven times. Wow, that's great. Yeah, like Kuwait, Iraq. Bahrain. Djibouti, Bahrain.

Djibouti, when we went, we drove around. That was the first one I went to. And they took us downtown. And they said it all shuts down at noon. And so people work until noon. And then people get crazy. They're hooked on some kind of chewing tobacco or something that makes them...

like see things hashish is it maybe yeah it's like like grass yeah yeah something that could be it could not be it too but just as just as confident that i'm in that it is it i'm just as confident that yeah it's not okay but it's something like that and they uh and we were just driving down the road and then some guy just came running down the street chasing us and screaming and we just drove off and they're like yeah it's downtown

uh that's Djibouti that's Djibouti uh I'm sure maybe it's not all like I had that one street was but that's the name of the city and the country yeah yeah Djibouti the capital of Djibouti is Djibouti Aaron is bringing it was a fun thing to say when you were a kid yeah when you found out that there was a country called Djibouti yeah and that the capital was also Djibouti we couldn't believe it yeah I don't think I found that out till later uh

I found out right now. Yeah, I was going to say like 10 seconds ago. And I was there. Jay Ness, I was nearly the victim of Brian's sports story when I laughed myself unconscious. After Brian's attempt on my life, I made a huge lifestyle change and have been getting back in shape. Almost 30 pounds down. Still love the podcast. Not only will I not get Brian's name wrong, but I will also be able to point him out in court. It's crazy. Yeah, 30 pounds. Congrats. Congrats, Jay. That's awesome.

30 pounds down. That hasn't even been that long. No, that's a quick. It's almost unhealthy how quickly that. Yeah, Jaden, you're probably worse off now. Well, I think it's more how much you shook him. I mean, can you imagine? I mean, he must have watched this and then went and cleaned his pantry out. I mean, that's unbelievable. That could borderline be offensive to you. I mean, he just took it. I mean, talk about motivation. Good night.

30 pounds down. I think we're going to get a follow-up from Jayden. He said, I actually had another problem I did not know about. I should not have been losing weight that fast. I don't know. Sometimes you can drop. I lost weight. You drop quick a big chunk, and then you stop. You plateau. Then you plateau.

Like I'm at one set. Uh, I'm around like I float between one 75, one 80. It took me a long time to get down to one 80. I felt like it was a quick, and then now I get stuck in that one 75, one 80, but I also still eat sweet tarts and sour patch kids. So I ate a lot of stuff. That's not good. I mean, it's, it's, I mean, real bad. Uh, well, you're good on that car trip. Do you, do you snack like that during the, Oh yeah. Yeah. And then it just, I mean,

you know, I'm trying, I just can't wrap my head around eating good, uh,

I love candy. I talked to a guy about trying to eat good. I told him I ate sour worms. He was like, really? I was like, what do you not get about it? He's like, you're just an adult. I'm like, yeah, dude. I can eat a bag of them every night. I can afford a lot of them. Yeah. It's a problem. I had ice cream last night.

What are you going to do? I got to get over it. Good story. Even good. Matt Kaczynski, Nate Rance today had me wanting to run through a brick wall. Great advice for anyone to better themselves. Love the podcast a lot. Bon Bon and Aaron are amazing and can't wait to see them both grow like you. Bon Bon. What name do you think you're going to make it as? Because it's not going to be Brian. It's going to be something else. Bon Bon I like.

You like them all. That's why this keeps happening because you encourage it. I know, but I love, I mean, Bon Bon. Welcome to the stage. Bon Bon. You say, I mean, you could be dancing somewhere named Bon Bon. Now imagine the disappointment. Everybody, please welcome to the stage Bon Bon. And then you walk out on stage and like, oh God. And then some guy's like, just wait. He has to just wait. Um,

Maria Alvarez, shout out from a stenographer. It's when the words come around the corner and surprise me. You know what I mean? I don't know they're there. And it's like I just get the stenographer. There you go. Well, I know, but honestly, it's the word. I don't know. That's a word you don't see written very often. Oh, Aaron. No. This whole job is writing it, but they just say it.

Yeah, it kind of surprised me. That's how I look. If I don't know a word, just understand that's what it is. I'm walking down a hallway. I have no idea. This stenographer is about to jump out at me. It was super exciting hearing my favorite people acknowledge this profession exists. We don't get a whole lot of credit, but this was enough to get me through my felony day. Keep up the good work. You keep up the good work. Wow. Yeah, she's doing it. And a lady, like we said.

We said it's probably a field dominated by women. Yeah, that's true. And so... Felony day. That doesn't sound fun. Well, she's just sitting there typing out all kinds of crazy stuff. I wonder if there's men. Men stenographers? Yeah. Have you seen any men? Do men do it? Or they're just...

like chick you know just like pecking hold on hold on hold on what that guy no what that guy's it's like when you go golfing you're asking what'd you get in the last four holes you just that's what the man has to do i'm hold on fast i stopped a while ago uh get that witness back up like yesterday just a long drawn out all right what did everybody what was all right judge what was your name i didn't get that

Michelle Moore on the subject of closed captioning. I am a closed captioner. And every time I listen to you guys, I think of how much of a nightmare Nate would be to capture. Love the show and look forward to it each week. You guys are awesome. P.S. I vote for Bart to permanently change his name to Breakfast W Bates. W is of course for worried. Worried is still amazing. Breakfast W Bates. People like breakfast as the name. And W for worried.

You're worried. Yeah, like see, this would be a nightmare. So don't don't give me any like that. I'm, you know, too hard on making some fun jokes, having a good time. Hmm. This is I have a daughter. You're listening to this podcast. She doesn't listen. Which she's a fan of Bob Ripple Pants. Yeah. Is that where all the start? No.

That was their first original name. I think it started with a genuine mistake. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right. A couple of genuines. Yeah. And then it grew from there because someone's a bully. Yeah. I mean, they're the ones that went off on it. I didn't go to the listeners. Yeah. How about you guys? You guys are bullying him. It's not me.

Think about all the, I mean, there's some comments out there now. People are just going nuts. Yeah. That cause they fall in your lead and they know you like it. So they're like, I mean, they're not, they're going after my appearance. It's not like, Brian, I disagree with you on that one thing. You look like an old man who lives in a shoe with your red face and your. Yeah. Again, they say I can't read. So I had a guy this weekend. I get off stage.

I'm outside. I'm sitting at my merch table. This guy walks outside. He lights a cigarette. Old man. He walks up to me. He goes, do you say you're from Nashville? I go, yeah. He goes, well, you could roll over three times and be home. And I like, I thought he was making a joke about how close Nashville was to Birmingham. I was like, oh yeah. Then I thought about it. I was like, oh man, it's kind of a mean. Oh, you're talking about your size? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that is. Just from a random guy that had just seen me. And he was like, oh, man. Anyway, good. Pretty funny. And then he walked back inside. Oh, that's great. That is amazing. Never heard that before. Never heard. Yeah, I haven't either. Could roll over three times and be home. Was he a big guy? No, no, no. Just an old man.

A little frail, but not big. I mean, God, the confidence it would say. Maybe he just saw you. He had just seen me. I have plenty of jokes about how I look, so he felt confident enough to say that. To say it. It really made me laugh, though, because it took me a minute to realize what he meant. Yeah. I thought it would be, yeah, like, yeah, you live close. Yeah, you live close by. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, I'll drive back tonight. He's like, no, that's not what I meant. He just even makes it even...

Now you're not getting it. It just stares at you and you're like, what's that? Golly, roll over three times. I mean, that's, you know, that's like drives you. Still went out to eat after, didn't you? Still didn't even. Ate at the club. Ate at the club. Didn't even faze you. That's the thing. You get to, you get past it.

Eating bad or like, I mean, you know, if I eat bad, I do this stuff. You can just go now that you can't, you can't bully me into doing something, you know, too smart for that. Caleb Hales. I've been using short clips of Nate stand up for hold on. Start it again. I've been using short clips of Nate stand up to start our teacher professional development each week so far this year.

We use the Before Guy and Weight Loss ads for goal setting, iced coffee with milk for clear communication, and Dead Horse for not being afraid to ask questions. I'm going to eventually need some new material to share. That's awesome. That's, you know, what's he doing? Professional development. For teachers. For teacher. Yeah. To start a teacher professional development. It's like seminars. Dead Horse for not being afraid to ask questions. That's pretty smart. Yeah. Use that.

These are some of the nuggets that Katie was talking about. Yeah. Katie gets it. Just a few of them. That's cool. Yeah. Well, hopefully you will get some new material. One day, Caleb, when we get back out there and do some stand-up. Thank you very much. Brian Lee. It's funny to watch how many times Nate touches and moves his microphone. I just keep yelling, stop it, when he does. Well, I don't know. I'm a fidgeter.

I'll get used to it. It's fun to do. It feels like when you do morning radio, it's like a good time. It's the same thing with the papers. It does feel... It feels... I like it. It feels like you're doing something. You're touching, you're doing something. I guarantee you Brian would be here doing it too. Brian Lee would be... He would be like, you know, messing with everything. Krista Hobdy, more bombing stories, please, especially from Boo Radley. Boo Radley.

It's the only book I ever read. You read that? I did read that. I've never read other books, but when I was younger, the only one I read. That was the quickest retraction I've ever heard. Well, I've read them now. Okay. But that's the one. I remember them making us read that book. You know, she just now wrote another book. Harper Lee? Yeah. She wrote To Kill a Mockingbird and then was like, I'm done for a while. Well, I think they just published it. She wrote it a long time ago, right? Yeah.

I think she just wrote a new one. A couple, two or three years ago. She's dead now. Harper Lee is? Yeah. I don't know. I guess the genius isn't as smart. Why don't you work up when she wrote that next book, dude? She wrote it right before she, but she died. Mr. Djibouti. She died. So, sorry to break it to you, but it's over. So, I have a little joke about Harper Lee in my act. 55 years after the first. Yeah. What year was it? 2015? Uh...

Yeah, 2015. 55 years after Kill Mockingbird. Imagine being your first book so good, you don't have to do anything else for 55 years. This one's called The Jay Bird Lives On. It's funny. It's all just bird stuff. She wasn't as creative as people think. It's a lot of bird stuff. You're doing a lot of bird stuff, huh? Does it have to do with birds? Not really. But I like bird stuff in the title. Okay.

Corey Martin, there's nothing better than laughing until you cry and your bombing story has made it happen. Thanks for such a fantastic podcast to break up my week. One question I have, how do you all feel about competition comedy shows? Seem like the winners don't stay around. Just curious what your take on that is. So I guess like Last Comic Standing or the stuff that they're doing now. I'm fine with it. I mean, I tried to audition for that stuff. I didn't get on. That was the Last Comic Standing was the one.

That was like one that really hurt me that I didn't get on, like hurt my feelings. And, you know, it was like sad because I thought being clean, I was like, I'll be, I'll be built for this. And, uh, I mean, I went in it the last time I went into it. The other times I wasn't expecting the last time, something a lot of people don't know, uh,

the bigger you get into comedy, you would get audition times for those. So like they'd show the people waiting in line. I waited in line. I mean, we spent the night once at Caroline's. We all stood in line. We got there 9 p.m., 10 p.m. I remember Hannibal Burris was there. He came. We were all there. And we just moved to New York.

And it was pretty cold out. And we had a van. My buddy Dustin Chaffin was there. Like, all these comics were there. And then we went in and auditioned the next day. I did not get it. But it's like, those were when you waited. But then the longer you got, the more you got into comedy. And again, this is... And some comics don't like it that you can get audition spots. But that's what it is, man. That's why you stick around. And that's why you wait around and do comedy. Because then you eventually do... American Idol is the same way. They get those people...

A lot of the big ones you see, they're really good ones. They're getting audition times. Because some of them, if they're that good, you're not going to see them and be like, oh yeah, I was just waiting in line for 12 hours. So the later you get... The last time I auditioned for it, Geraldo was the host. And I went in and thought I was going to just nail it and did not.

So, and here we are. But I'm not against them. I think they're, you know, I don't really watch them. I think I have a, it's hard for me to watch them. But I think they're great. And they have made a lot of comics. The first last comic standing was wonderful. The first few seasons of it were amazing. And I think those guys actually, you know, Rich Voss,

A lot of them. I mean, Amy Schumer was on it. Yeah. Ralphie. Ralphie. Yeah. Yeah, big acts. John Reed. Yeah, John Reed, Alonzo Bowden. I think he won. John Heffron. So, you know, an AGT. Tom Cotter made it for an AGT. Gary Beter made it. So, yeah, I like the competition shows. And I think people do like them. You hit a point as a comedian, though, you wouldn't go on it.

And so that's the only thing is like some of the guys, the more they get, you get your own fan base. You're like, I'm not going to do it for no reason, just because you're like, it's just doesn't fit in what you're trying to do. But yeah, Mark Warren, Aaron looks like someone that wants to drive a Wrangler, but settled for a Honda CRV. I do look like that. I don't know why that's funny, but it is pro shop. You got a new hat. Yeah. I'm not helping things today, but yeah, I would love a Wrangler.

Yeah, Wrangler would be fun. But he drives a van. Yeah, it's actually way worse. So he is that. Yeah, drive a minivan. Chrysler Town and Country. Yeah, this guy almost nailed it. Exactly. Could you be like a real Southern dude? Can you do anything? Nah, it's just not authentic. No, it's not a smart thing. Old money? New money? No. It's just, you know, you grow up doing what your parents do. My parents never hunted, so I never hunted growing up. It's just stuff like that.

Your parents were in think tanks. That's where we're getting at. No one just goes to Notre Dame, man. We're slowly going to pick it apart. He went to MTSU. I didn't go anywhere. He went to MTSU when no one went to MTSU.

No, I went when everyone went because it was so easy to get in. Still is, but... Yeah. I remember going to look at MTSU. Oh, really? Yeah. We didn't want you. It was a huge campus. I just remember. No one wanted me. I went to Austin Peay. When you go look at a college visit, I didn't ever even got really pushed to go. I just would tag along. And they were... I'd be like, oh, what are y'all eating here? I was asking whether...

cafeterias where's the cafeteria so what do they do do you stay on campus like i just know nothing when people talk about college and they're talking about majoring and minor i mean i have no they're where'd you go to grad school like i like i don't even know what they're talking about i don't understand when someone says why did my undergrad what is that what's undergrad what is undergrad that's just regular that's regular college yeah why do they say that then

Not everybody says it like that. No, but if you had a graduate degree, then you would say, I did my undergrad at so-and-so, and then I got my graduate. So people do their undergrad at one school and then go graduate? So they could be like, I went to undergrad at Tennessee, but I got my degree at- My master's at so-and-so. Do they get a degree from Tennessee the first- Like I got an undergrad from MTSU. Yeah. That's all I got. Yeah.

You get your bachelor's, and then if you want to do extra schooling, you go do graduate school. Bachelor's is regular. Yeah, that's a four-year. Yeah. Yeah. They use a lot of big words. College people use big words, and they're trying to trick you into sounding like they did something. Post-doctorate? Yeah. It's all kind of ridiculous. As a guy that didn't go, I went to remedial classes. We're pretty straight. Community college, it is what it is. It's two years.

You leave. That's it. No one's saying, I did my whatever. We're honest with everybody. College, do you have an undergrad? What do you have? Yeah. Notre Dame? I have a bachelor's degree. Bachelor's degree. Yeah. See, that means you just, nothing special. You just made it through. Yeah, just a marketing degree. Run of the mill. It's pretty standard, yeah. Nothing special. Just graduated from Notre Dame. Notre Dame, I know, but that's dumb for Notre Dame. I mean...

Since you've done a little more than that? Notre Dame's not proud of me. I want to make that very clear. They're not thrilled. No, no. They don't claim me. They don't talk about me.

You grab, yeah. It's like you bought, you got a t-shirt that everybody wears. You don't have any different one. Yes. You're just walking around. Right. Standard Notre Dame t-shirt. I got Walmart Notre Dame gear. Yeah. That's what I got. It's not sponsored by the school. Not officially licensed. Not officially licensed. Were you there when they played the national championship against Alabama? That was my junior year, yeah. Did you go?

To the game? I didn't. I didn't get the ticket. They had a ticket lottery and I didn't get it. Oh. So, uh, I was at home. Yeah. Well, it was still fun. Yeah. I had a lot of friends that went. Josh Sternberg. I love the podcast guys. Biscuit story about bombing in front of his mother at a livestock auction was gold. Nate, you have to bring your wife on the show so we can get her perspective and stories about what it's like to live with you. Yeah. We're have her on. She's here. Uh,

She'll come on. I mean, we're going to do one with her. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, yeah. Let's interview her. She's got her undergrad. Bachelor of something. She didn't tempt you. She's got something. Marketing too, like you. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Actually used it. Do you think the parents get mad when you don't because you go into comedy and then, I mean, obviously you get good experience going to Notre Dame. People should go to college and then you do what you do. But I mean, you could not have gone.

Right. That's true. I think about that all the time. Yeah. I used it for a little bit right after I graduated with a couple jobs that I had, but I'm not using it at all now. I can't think of one concrete thing that I learned. I tried to think of something the other day for my marketing classes. I can't think of, I had great teachers and everything, but I don't, I can't think of one thing that I learned. When you ran Hardy's social media accounts. Yeah.

I would love that marketing. I would have been honored to have run Hardy social media accounts. I ran accounts for social media accounts for plumbers and HVAC companies. Oh, you did do that? Yeah. Nicole hears hires H I E R S. I'm very interested to know Laura's maiden name after Nate had something to say about Sarah P's last name during the comments. Can I get, huh? She was pointing out how you kind of Sarah P had a very unusual last name. Yeah.

And I think she's pointing out how Laura had to take on Bargetti. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is true. Laura's maiden name is Bargetti. Can I give a maiden name? Isn't that the security code? I was going to say, yeah, that's a security question. For Harper? I get asked my mom's maiden name on everything. I don't think you don't want to say. It's Smith. It's Blair. So, yeah, she was Laura Blair.

It's her middle name now. So, and Harper, our daughter's middle name is Blair. What happens to your middle name? Yeah. She changed her middle name? Yeah. Laura Blair. I thought you just added it on. You can choose what you want to do with it. No, yeah. She got rid of it. Wow. Laura Lynn. And then got rid of... Lynn's gone? Lynn's gone. Right, Laura? Yep. Got rid of Lynn. Blair's back. I was offended that she wanted to keep it.

I said, no, you're Bargetzi now. And your middle name should be Bargetzi still. My middle name's Lee. And that's when we met Lynn Lee. We lived on Lynn Lee. I lived in high school. The street we lived on was Lynn Lee. Might as well just go ahead and give my mom's maiden name and social security number. I mean, let's go ahead and just do it all.

This feels, we're eventually going to get questioned into, I'm just giving out. It's a scam. Nate mentioned his mom's maiden name once. What's his last four digit of a social by any chance? And I'm like, well, these are interesting questions. And then you go, remember, because you said that. I go, oh, yeah. And then I just go, oh, yeah, that's 5729. I had to give it all out. And we're just getting picked apart. We sit up here.

Connor Vincent, Nate, have your friend from high school who memorized screen with you as a guest on the podcast. I will. I will. John Paul, backyard living, built pools. He does his dad. He worked for his dad, precision pools in Mount Juliet. And they, he would do that in high school. And then he went and started his own,

Pool company against his dad. A competing company? A competing, yeah. I always tell him, though, I'm going to go to his dad. I'm a precision pools guy. I always say, I don't. I go, I'm original. I go, no. They're fine. He started his own thing. But they both do it. Both very good at making pools. Got the Wilson County market locked down.

Willard Garrett, you guys go a little too hard on Berkshire Hathaway. He's actually pretty funny. Berkshire. I don't know if it's sincere when he calls me Berkshire Hathaway. I want to say thank you, Wheeler. Yeah. I don't, you know, we go hard. I do think it's so funny. Everybody's like, you guys are going to take it easy. And then you just call him a made up name. You guys go hard on him.

Kenny O'Brien, I like the idea of Nate unbelievable counter that can pop up on the bottom right of the screen. That's a good idea. That is a good idea. Unbelievable. That's an unbelievable idea. I say unbelievable a lot. All right, and I'm going to try to stop it. You're going to get all the stuff that makes whatever I do work. You're going to pick me apart. I won't do anything. I'm going to just be up here. Hello. I am Nate O'Brien. Just very not fun at all.

Did you get that from your family or did they get it from you? Because your dad says unbelievable a lot. I don't know. It all blends together. We say idiot a lot too. Yeah. Everybody's an idiot. That's her. We don't, we don't curse in other ways, but idiot was the everybody. Well, you're, that's just cause you're an idiot. And it's just yelling and people are like, you shouldn't be saying that. Like, I don't know. I'm like, we call everybody. Like it's not even a family thing. It's a family name. Uh,

Marty Wall, does it seem unfair that if a musician writes a good song, they can sing it for the rest of their life and people don't even want to hear new stuff? But if a comedian writes a good bit, he has to never do it again. You know, it is. I mean, if you write a good bit, I still, I think I could definitely see I'll be doing some bits for a very long time that people want to hear. But yes, I mean, very much so. I mean, look, I'm going to do these driving shows and a couple of these towns I've just went to. So I'll have some new jokes.

I think I'll do a good show. I'm hoping, you know, people have only seen this act has evolved since I guess I did it last. But I mean, if I was a musician, I could just go to your town every two months. Yeah. If you're Led Zeppelin, which I compare myself, I'm the Led Zeppelin of comedy. Yeah.

But I mean, if you get, I mean, you have a good run. I mean, you could go play 20 songs and just go every year and people are just going to go, you know, and want to see it. I saw Boston live, you know, the band Boston. And they got out there and they go, how many people want to hear our new songs? And the place kind of cheered. And then he goes, how many people want to hear all the songs from our first album? The place went nuts. And that's all they did. That's smart. When they can get it.

Like that's when a band has to just get it, man. Like if you're Boston, you had your little peak of just being good in your run. Yeah. You made unbelievable stuff, which is super hard to do. It's almost impossible to write these kind of songs where they become these legend songs. And then just, yeah, and be like, it is what it is, man. Now go collect that. They just collect money and do shows and people have a good time.

Last one, Louis Lopez. Since Nate and Bratwurst saw the horse and old lady at the same time, who gets the bit if they both experience it at the same time? Does it normally go to the headliner or is it a called it system? Even if the opener wants to develop a joke from the shared experience, I threatened a brower's life. If you ever talked about that dead horse, uh, uh, yeah, I mean, we both, I mean, I'm the one that saw it and brought it up. So I would have that in that experience.

I would have been the one with the joke, right? You would agree with that. You didn't even see it. I'm the one that said that horse was standing up looking unbelievable. Yeah. The healthiest horse. I said you got the line. He stole it from me. I went on stage and I was going to tell it that night, but then I forgot. And when I got off, I was like, oh, I'm going to go back up there. But he was already up there telling it. He was already up there doing it. Yeah. So in honest, that one, I saw it. And the one that said it.

And then coming up, you know, I don't know if we've had any, have we had any other jokes like that? No, but what about like a McDonald's? McDonald's is the one that my McDonald's story with Lewis that, uh, did we not, I think I told it last week, but that, that is the one where Lewis takes a burger and he wants to fight that guy. That one had me, Lewis and Dan Soder. Dan Soder is actually the one that took the bite of the burger. And when I told that story, uh,

Again, we would always just tell it when we were on shows together. So if I followed Dan, our Lewis would be hosting a show and I would always bring it up there. And then Dan would bring it up. We all had shots at that story so everybody could tell it on their own. And then I ended up making it actually into a bit. But I would say, I said something to him. I was like, hey, do you care? Look, I've actually turned this into like a bit.

And then I heard it. And once they heard it, they're like, yeah, yeah, of course. It's yours now. And then Dan's out of the joke. I didn't tell him because it just got too complicated. I would have never made that dead horse joke. I mean, I even said last week, I already thought that joke was gone. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're not as good as I am. Well, no, that's true. And no, that's not.

I'm joking. That was a joke. Don't write in and be like, why are you guys making Brian cry? Yeah, it is a unique thing. But when you come up with a joke when other comics are there, you just ask. You kind of say, can I do that? Are you going to do that? Soder had one a long time ago that I wanted to...

Golly. He had a joke about when they try –

makeup on monkeys or something? What do they try makeup on? Or they say this was not... Tested on animals? Yeah. Saying maybe they put it on a chicken or a monkey and he just pictured like, say it's a monkey. They're testing makeup on monkeys to see what they do. And then just seeing, you're trying on the monkey and he's like, no, no. He's like, he doesn't... So the testing is actually them just...

the monkey's opinion on the makeup. He's like, I don't like it. It's too blue. I was like, what do you think? I'm trying to go out. What is it? Two in the morning? It's embarrassing. Like it was something like that. I think it was to do with chickens though.

Something to do with chickens. But I loved the idea. And then he never could just get it to... I'm going to tell him. Maybe he should try to bring it back. But he could never get it to work. And I liked it. I was like, I think I could do something with it. And then he even said, he's like, all right, well, you try then. But then I never... Sometimes it's hard when someone gives you a joke. You think you like the joke idea, but for some reason, if you didn't come up with it, you're just kind of...

You're like, I don't know. I don't know if I can do it. All right. It was sure nice seeing the teams back out on the gridiron over this weekend. As we talked about, the Titans, very big, very big week. We won, missed four field goals. Made one that mattered. Lucky for us, that was just one week one. All right. So this week,

We don't have a stand-up clip to play, but we saw a story and got us thinking. It's a New York Times article from September 8th about how the pandemic has changed grocery shopping.

I think people were like, oh, what are they going to talk about this week? And then... We all love grocery stores. We all love grocery stores. It's interesting to see how it's changed. When the pandemic hit in mid-March for the first time in a generation, Americans began spending more money at the supermarket than at places where someone else made the food. Grocers saw eight years of projected sales growth packed into one month. That's unbelievable. Eight years in one month.

shopping trends that were in their infancy were turbocharged. And the article goes on and blah, blah, blah. No, that's unbelievable. So this week we're going to do, uh, we're going to talk about grocery stores and we're gonna let Brian y'all, I can't read. So, uh,

I'm always going to read comments. So don't be suggested that I think that's fun. I enjoy something. I mean, I'm two seconds from not even being on this podcast. Uh, so give me something. Let me just, I'm going to eventually just come into the comments and leave with Holly. I mean, Holly, Holly, let's go. Uh,

But, yeah. So, Brian. All right. So, we'll start with the beginning of grocery stores. A little fun fact here. The first self-service grocery store. This felt like doing a school, you know, when you let they go. All right, everybody. Brian Bring. Brian Bates. And then it sounded exactly... Yeah, you don't like the way I start stuff, I don't think. Like your stand-up? Like jokes? Yeah.

Well, I've read like three times on the show and twice you've called me out on the way I start it. I don't think I'm good at starting, but you go, okay, here we go. But yeah, now I'm thinking about my jokes. Yeah, how do you start your joke? You say, hello, folks. You say folks? Yeah. I'm pretty sure you say folks. For every joke? No, when you come out.

When you come out, hello, folks. And you might say when you leave, you don't think you say, do you say folks? I don't think so. I think you do. Okay. Every joke. Yeah, every joke. That's his thing. That's what people like. And he sells T-shirts in the lobby that say, hey, hello, folks. And it's just a picture of him. That's his image. Hello. It's just seven hands that go like that.

Hello, folks. And then he does his act. And then every joke, I start with it again. Yeah. Hello, folks. Then good night, folks. How good did that be, man? That was so good. I mean, that's just like...

That is, that is, that would be like, if you're a standup comic, you just got pulled out of Lebanon and you didn't know Nashville exists. And you just, and then you're like, I've been doing comedy in Lebanon for 15 years.

All right. Sorry. All right. Where were we? Oh, you're at the beginning? Yeah. Let's start over. The first self-service grocery store, Piggly Wiggly, opened in 1916 in Memphis, Tennessee. We had a Piggly Wiggly in Old Hickory that we used to always ride our bike to and go in. They're still around. Yeah. We had one in Lebanon. May still be there. Yeah.

It's big. Do you remember? You ever seen Piggly Wiggly? Yeah, I had a Piggly Wiggly sweatshirt in college that I would wear, and I thought that would make me interesting. Did it? It did not. So now you're trying Bass Pro Shops? What you got working underneath? I mean, that was pretty good. What you got working underneath there today? I think you got something special. Just a shirt, man. Yeah, it's a little something special underneath there. Just a shirt. Piggly Wiggly, they didn't have them where I grew up.

grew up but they have them here in nashville you're dressed like you're going somewhere nice and then you had a flat tire so you had to put that on to change it that's how you get dirty so yeah there you go i think i got a hoodie in the back like that's how you're you can tell there's a little collar of something where are you guys going we got a big night out tonight had a flat tire so i put this on i think you're going to a luau

It's a shirt. I remember when the grocery store in Lebanon was Mosher's Grocery. I don't know if that's a chain or just Lebanon. You know where I went this weekend? Meijer. I went to a Meijer. I'm a big Meijer fan. I've never been to a Meijer. That is a store that's like, what do you want? We got it. I mean, grocery store, it's a Target. And a full, which I guess Target's doing that now too. But I've never, clothes. Clothes.

I mean, like, I don't think I've ever really been in one. What'd you get there? Nothing. I would go in there and...

You just went for fun? Just walk around. So I rented a... I drove to Columbus, and so I rented a Tesla, like on that Turo. I don't know if anybody's ever done Turo. But you can rent really cool cars, and they're not... I mean, you can rent a Tesla for the same price you'd rent a cheap car at Avis or something or whatever. So, and then they... It's just a fun car. So I've...

I never had, since it was like a six-hour drive, I was like, oh, you know what? I'll go. I'll rent a fun car. And so I rented a Tesla and drove it. So I had to charge it like three times. I mean, you have to just go. It tells you to charge it like every, I charged it like Bowling Green, Louisville, Cincinnati. And that was then at the hotel in Columbus. Then coming back was basically the same kind of thing. And so they have like superchargers and there'd always be a Target or a Meyers.

And you just go do that and go walk in there and just, you'd have like 10, 15 minutes. It was, I mean, I enjoyed it. I just walked around these Myers. I've never, you know, I suddenly get anything. I just walked around. Are they big in the Midwest? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I mean, uh, the Myers and ones in Bowling Green, I don't think they're here. Yeah. Uh, but Bowling Green, there was one and, uh,

So, yeah, that was it. I bought an LOL. A what? An LOL for kids. An LOL doll? Yeah, an LOL doll. That was the only thing for my daughter. A little doll. So, Piggly Wiggly opened in Memphis, Tennessee, 1916. Prior to this, grocery stores operated over the counter with customers asking a grocer to retrieve items from inventory. Like at a gas station.

Yeah. I think about like old Westerns you see where you go up to the counter. They got a catalog. Yeah. And then, you know, like the guy behind the counter, go get me three bags of barley or I don't know. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. And they bring the... Yeah.

They're buying big bulk things. You just don't go pick it off a shelf. You go tell them up front what you want and they go get it for you and bring it out to you. So... Yeah. Piglet Wiggly was the first place to really trust people. Yeah. To try it, do it yourself. That's quite a shift. Self-service. You go grab everything yourself. And then you just get it back. I wonder how many...

Yeah, I mean, like, over-the-counter, that seems crazy to me. Go here, go over here. Sorry, I was jumping ahead to the next thing. In rural areas, general stores offered credit to their customers, a system of payment that works on trust rather than modern credit cards. This allowed farm families to buy staples until their harvest could be sold. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Like, that you're just, there's no credit card.

But they just are like, yeah, you're good. That makes me think of Andy Griffith or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's exactly what these things were. I'm trying to think if there's any... I've definitely bought stuff where... I bought stuff where it was... I didn't do it. I just...

I see a lot of like, I saw one last night on Facebook. I see people post this a lot, how they're in line at this friend of mine posted, she was at Publix. She got up there to pay, didn't have her, somehow she left her money or whatever. And then a kind customer behind, you know, paid $27 for it.

So I see that a lot. Yeah, I see that. Yeah, Chick-fil-A does that where you buy the thing in front of it. And so my sister was telling us about it. To pay it forward? To pay it forward. So a lot of times at Chick-fil-A, you just get there. And I've had it happen to me, so it happens a lot. And they're like, the person in front of you paid for this. And then you got to pay for it. Don't you have a joke about this? I do, yeah. And then, yeah, so they pay it forward.

they keep doing that. And my sister, when she first did it was just like, Oh wow. Thank you. And drove off. She was the one that ended it, you know, and just like, she doesn't make any, she doesn't, I mean, especially at that time she made no money. She had no money. She was, she is kind of who it's for. Yes. But it's really better that way. Yeah. Cause you accept a gift as it should be. Yeah. Instead of, but if you, I guess you can keep it rolling. It's got to end sometime. Yeah.

Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's so funny. Just to be like, all right, that's cool, man. Thank you. All right, see you. And then drive off. I mean, yeah. I mean, what if... I think I remember one time when I had it, that person even said, they were like, it's...

It's like $20 to $5. Even just being like, if you want to drive off, it's okay. Because the person ordering doesn't know. If you knew, then you couldn't even get what you wanted. Yeah. Because you would feel terrible. You'd be like, just give me a lemonade. Yeah, if everybody's going to do it, I'd rather just pay for my own. Right. Also, everybody could just do that, pay for their own. It's the same system. It's actually the same thing, except you don't have to...

Be the guy that, you know, pays for a $40 van. I mean. It's his joke, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go check it out. September 30th. Zanies. Zanies. Check out. You're going to hear Aaron. That'll be my closer. It's all, everything's kind of counting on that one. Hello, folks. Hello, folks.

The first retail self-checkout was invented in 1992 and became prevalent in grocery stores across America in the early 2000s. Self-checkout was that early? I mean, I bet it wasn't around much before then. I mean, you've been playing fantasy as long as self-checkout. Yeah. Yeah. Got it in 92. I guess in 2000s, it was like regular. That even seems crazy.

I think now it's just so much more prevalent, but do you guys do stuff checkout? I do it every time. Sometimes you have to. Now they almost make you. You go to Kroger, that's all they got. They force you to. Yeah. Bill Burr had a joke about that where he's like, you know, you got to go and

It's like, I got to work. I like, I work here now. Yeah. Like I got to make, you gotta go get a sandwich and they're like, uh, mayonnaise and mustard's over there. You're like, yeah, I'm paying you to make the sandwich. I just had a big, uh, current. So there's a yogurt place, uh, here and it's a do it yourself yogurt place and they have a tip jar. Yeah.

at the end. That's for you to take out some. Yeah. That's what it should be. Yeah. Oh, thank you. That's funny. That's what it should be. Yeah. Cause it doesn't, I, uh, my neighbor, I mean, cause you do feel bad cause it's like teenagers working in there. And so whatever, man, like who cares? You know, but I, I was like, I just have a problem with it. I didn't look, I don't mind tipping or whatever, but, uh,

To me, giving to a homeless person is better. They at least are sitting on the side of the road like they're having a deuce. This kid, you do everything. You put all the toppings on. All they do is you walk in, you grab whatever you want to grab, you do the ice cream, you do all the toppings, you get the spoon, the napkin, you put it on the thing that weighs it,

And then they put the price. They turn the iPad around, and then you swipe and pay, and then they turn it, and that's it. And then they said, and you can feel free to tip. I mean, I don't even know. You know what I mean? Like, where you're... I'm fine with... Look, and it's high school kids, whatever. I'm fine with it. I'm not saying they're... But it doesn't, like... There's a point that you're like, all right, man. You can't just...

I'm not, you can't take full advantage of me that I have to, I'm paying, I'm doing it. I'm working. I'm doing more than they're doing. Like, I don't even need to be here. I did everything. I mean, unless the place doesn't pay the kids or something. That's, you know. Well, all those places now have the touch pad. They'll flip it around and it's like 15%, 20, 30 or other. They're doing 30%. Like it's nothing. Where I get my haircut, he does 30%. Yeah. I tell him, I go, I was like, that's insane. Yeah.

Do you ever push other and type in your own amount? I think I'd give them 30%, to be honest. Yeah. I just do it. But I have to do it because I made a point about how ridiculous it was. So then I realized, because I took a stand...

I will just pay to the third. I'll always do the 30%, but I do it so I can always tell you that it's ridiculous that you're offering 30%. I mean, dude, 30% tipping in a place. Can you imagine? No. I mean, at what point are they going to worry? We should be at 50%. What point is it just like just double that, you know, just do double. And then, you know, tipping is out of control. We should do an episode about tipping. Yeah.

Well, but yeah, these self-service, the self-scan things now, most places, they have one register open maybe. Yeah. And then they just really want you to go. Well, I mean, you ever been in a self-checkout too and they don't, it's not open? How's it not open? It's a robot. Yeah. Turn it on. Turn it on. Like, yeah, when they're like, ah, these two are not, these two, are they tired?

Are they on break? I've never thought of that. Are they smoking? Are these robots smoking now that they need to go? Is it their one had to leave early? Her wife's, his wife's pregnant. So he had to get out of here. I mean, I don't under, how are they not always on? I should, they should never be closed. Never. Right. Can you get gas? You can get gas whenever you want. Right.

I guess so. I'm pretty sure you can't, even if the place is closed. How are these self-checkouts? I'd like to know that. Why are they? Doesn't that not make sense? Maybe they just break or something. You know what I like? Home Depot, they have self-checkout, but there's just like a scanner gun just chilling there, and you just pick it up.

and you do everything. You don't have to swipe. You don't have to swipe it across. Yeah. Oh yeah. You got the gun yourself. So at Myers, I saw, I didn't really, I saw a sign for it, but it seemed like you can do an app and scan and go like, so I think you can kind of be buying as you're leaving. And then you just end up. And I, and I thought, I actually thought of that as I walked by. So I knew we were gonna talk about this this week. Uh,

was that I thought, oh, I was like, I bet that's what's going to happen. Like it's going to end up being, you're just scanning all of it on your phone. And then, I mean, you know, there's not going to be people.

in there. Yeah, I think we'll get to that. My wife, I just realized she's smarter than me than everything. I knew that. But she scans. Like, if you go through self-checkout, you just take the bar, just touch it on the thing. My wife takes it and like literally drags it across. Like, she'll start off the pad and go all the way across. And it gets confused because it's like, what are you doing? Yeah.

Yeah. It's very funny. She'll go from one end to the other because she thinks you have to drag it and swallow it across. It feels like you work there. It's kind of like a little camp. You get to be like, I get to work at a grocery store for a little bit. And that's what you feel. Yeah. I remember when they first were doing it, of trying to get that thing to weigh your food. I mean, just the problems. It's gotten a lot better. But at the beginning, I just remember it was a huge problem. Like you would just be...

She said it and never picked it up. It's like, can't do it again. You have to get someone to come over. And you're like, oh, no. And whoever is sitting there to help. I always have issues with the bagging. It's always like, place the item back in the bag. I'd pay money to watch you go through one. Well, I have issues. Just to struggle with. Just to...

If I have a choice, I don't do it. Yeah, me either. I do it every time. If I got just one thing, then I go to the self-checkout. But if I have a cart full of stuff, I don't like having all the different bags on the self-checkout. I can't even tell you about stuff I've bought.

I had a cart of stuff. Yeah. I don't, I mean, I'm not buying. You don't buy groceries for the, for the family? No. I don't know if you have the structure of a real family, how it works, but we're a very old fashioned family. So did your dad go for do all the major shopping? No, he never did. I don't do a lot of modern medical things that, but I, my wife is,

Completely. She's the wife and the man, the husband of this marriage. She's double duty. Fixes the changes of the oil, goes and buys the groceries. Well, I have... Hello Fresh is like, she does a lot of that. Oh, okay. So we do a lot of that. And if I go buy stuff, I mean, I go buy the stuff, you know, I'll buy my things. But she goes and buys stuff. When I was gone so much, I was never here. So there was really no consistency. Yeah.

But when I go, I always do self-checkout. I like it. I can remember when grocery stores first even had the scanner swipe. Not where you did it, but even when the person behind the counter did it. Yeah. I can remember when it just went through the belt and they just rang it up on a cash register. Yeah. I really can't. You don't remember that? I don't know. I think so. I think so. I think you were in your formative years when I... So like 92, I was...

I was born in 79. I was 13. So I was not paying attention where you would have been out

So I was there. I was around. Yeah. You don't remember anything past 2010, Harley. No, I don't remember a lot of stuff. But I'm talking about like, I remember the first time sliding, like automatic sliding doors happened. Oh, wow. Like that freaked us out. Because before it was just a swinging door and you just pushed it open and came out. And then the first time you walk up and some sensor like opens it for you. Yeah. I mean, just, oh, if I could, I would pay money.

To be able to watch you go through all these things for the first time. I mean, it would be my favorite thing alive. It's still my favorite thing to watch him get on an escalator. He gets on it with just...

It's, I mean, just like he doesn't trust it. Those have been around a while, right? I know, but he steps on it as if, as if like he's had something happen and he's like, all right, I'm back. And then like him and this guy have a relationship and they, and he's been tricked by it before and it's the, and he gets on it. I mean, it's normal walk into like, just, you know,

Like Will Ferrell in Elf on the escalator. Remember that? Yeah. He steps on very, it's very gently and then he's on. It's like the first step is nice and calm and then the second step's immediate. And then we ride it and we get off. Then it's normal. And then we get to the end. It's like, here we go again. Yeah. It's got to focus.

Like the soup Nazi getting ready for the soup. Those moving walkways at the airports. I'm not a big fan of those either. I love those, dude. I feel like I'm flying. I try to see if I can get on and off without any kind of big move, you know, without, so it's obvious. Yeah. You know how like, you know, when you get off, you always, you see, there's a, yeah, like a stumble. So I try to, I like to try to get on it and see if I can,

It's almost like athletically make yourself stay in one motion. And also we'll walk next to people, sometimes regular, to see how much faster they really is. It's a lot faster. It's definitely faster. But I mean, some of those people, when you see them, man, people get on their...

And it's a ride. I mean, they just block the whole thing and then you can't get by them. And you feel stupid not walking on the walkway. Escalator, you don't feel dumb just standing there.

But on one that's a moving walkway, you feel like a moron. Yeah. If you're just standing. It's not going fast enough to not walk. It's not. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a ride. It's not a joke about that. Like I think it's not a ride at the airport and people just get on it and ride it. Yeah. Go ahead. I was going to say he saw me ride a scooter for the first time. In D.C. Bird scooters? Yeah. It was the first time either one of us did it. Yeah. It's a lime. Yeah.

Oh, man. Yeah. And it was... Dude, he would... Because you would run to get off of it. I didn't trust him at all. There was no stopping. He wouldn't stop. They have brakes. No. Him, he didn't use them. But he would get going and to get... He would just jump off and just... Like run real quick with his feet. Yeah. To like slow it down. I mean, it was...

Oh, he documented it on Instagram. Yeah. I probably still have the video. We reposted it on our Nate Land podcast. Because I might... It's probably... I posted it on Instagram, I think. I don't know if I did. But it was wonderful. Just watching him. Never really got it. I mean... You didn't figure it out by the end? We're in DC... No. No. He didn't... Hello, folks. He didn't figure it out. He... I mean... That's what he had to do is he...

As he goes into a crowd, folks! Hello, folks! Come in! Come in! I mean, you... I would just see... I would lose you and then just see you just... I mean, it was, you know, a lot of fast and slow. There was never just a solid speed. It was either...

100 miles an hour, not moving. No, I'm saying him on the scooter. Oh, okay. But yes, DC's crowded. Yeah, DC's crowded, but him on the scooter, it was either full on or it's not working. There was not a comfortable riding speed. Have you been back on them since? I've practiced some on my own, just in case. It's fun, isn't it? Do you like it? Nah. It's my favorite way to get around.

yeah whenever they're around i always try to take them uh i feel dumb i i feel dumb but i get over that pretty quickly yeah you know i know i look stupid yeah but it's so much fun that i get over it then you don't care i spent a hundred dollars in oklahoma city a couple weeks ago on out of line that's how long i was on wow 100 bucks that's a lot it's it was too much i didn't know it would be that much yeah

I was a little upset. I was sweating so much. I mean, I was so nervous. Yeah. Riding that thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the effort he was putting into something that, I mean, I can imagine getting off an escalator and sweating. That's what it was. You're riding a. He would have sweated less on a regular scooter. On a regular scooter. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. It was, I mean, we were, I mean, we were just like, yeah, let's just try it. Because the only reason I agreed to, I was like, let's try this because no one's around.

We were at an area where no one was really around. But we quickly got into heavy parking. But we quickly got into... I mean, there's people everywhere in D.C. You went to the mall, where all the main stuff is? Somewhere near there, yeah. Yeah. I do feel embarrassed by it, so I don't want to completely ride it. But it's happening so much there that you don't feel out of the... You don't feel that...

I couldn't steer it straight. So that was my... I would literally veer. There'd be old ladies walking. I would just be heading straight toward them. And I had to just jump off and stop it. But when he jumps off, he's got to jump and run with it. Yeah. That's the best part is just to see he's got to jump off. And then... I mean, if you were...

you know, catching a wild cow. Like if a, if a steer got loose and you try to run and grab its horns and move, and then like, it was like that, like him jumping off. Oh, I'd love to see that. All right. Okay. Since the pandemic happened,

The need to avoid infection has taught people how to get by on fewer trips to the store and to make good shopping lists. Before the coronavirus, 19% of Americans shop for food more than three times a week. According to a study by the management firm McKinsey & Company, that number has dropped to 10% by June. Three times a week seems like a lot to me. It is a lot. I'm a once a week probably person. On when you go to the store? Yeah. That's what people are doing right now.

Yeah. I feel like more than once a week, you're kind of a bad shopper. Why aren't you just getting everything? I mean, there are definitely times I'll forget something, but. But three times a week. Yeah. I mean, what is expiring that quickly that you need to go back? I mean, maybe you're supposed to buy fresh fruit. You know, they always say the grocery is not supposed to go to the middle. Stay on the outside. If you're ever eating healthy, if you're supposed to eat healthy, stay on the outside. Don't go in the middle. What does that mean?

Outside of the store. Oh, the way the store is laid out? I thought you meant like outside of the tomatoes or something. No, no. The way it's laid out, if you want to do proper shopping healthy, just do the outside. Don't go to the middle. But they make it so you can't. It's deliberate. No, I mean, the Publix we go to here, you could make a full lap. But I'm saying they put...

They put milk, eggs, they put all the essentials in the back so that you have to walk through other parts of the store. It's like a casino. Yeah, but they're saying, but just walk around. Stay on the edge. They're doing it. I'm just saying if you want to be healthy. That's interesting. Does that apply everywhere? You're going to have to walk a little bit more. Everywhere is like that. I'll tell you that.

You know, if you're trying to get out of, I'm sorry, it's not at the front end. Ride a scooter. I mean, no one complains. They put, they do. They have donuts in the back corner and I don't ever go, why don't they put their donuts in the bag and walk right back there and grab them. I'm excited about it. I, you know,

But, you know. Like, they're going to get you. I get it. I can't get through all that stuff either. Get through. I buy donuts, you know, whatever donuts they have there. They're right by the milk. I don't even care for milk. I forget milk. Where do you go? Where's your place? Publix. What about you? Kroger. Yeah, I'm Kroger. We just don't have a – there's a Kroger here too we do, but we did Kroger. Piggly Wiggly when I was a kid, then Kroger. Mega Market we used to be. I think they're closed. Mm-hmm.

uh it's a kroger now you ever done uh you ever done a coin star uh no have you yeah oh yeah you know those things in the oh yeah i have done it yeah that's fine yeah that's fun uh i what's the other one all aldi yeah i used to always think it was zaldi with a z because their logo i thought was a z in front of the a so i would always be like oh there's zaldi

And then it's called Aldi with an A. And I still think that. I also think when you go to the airport, you know, it says international, is what the international Nashville airport. Yeah. I always read it as until. So I always think when I drive there, until I get there, there's the, until right here, turn right here, until now. Or what, I don't even know why, but it always reads in my head. Oops.

Yeah, there's Aldi. I don't know why. Yeah. You thought that was a Z? Well, not that one. They changed it. That's the new store logo because it was a huge problem. And then the one at the bottom is we see the... Oh, okay. This? Yeah. You thought that was a Z? I mean, I'm glancing, dude. I don't study it. All right. I used to think Disney was Gizney. You ever see that D? You know, the Disney...

Am I pulling that up so I don't look totally like an idiot? No, let him look like it. That doesn't make sense at all. You know what I'm talking about. It looks a little bit like a G. If you had never heard the word Disney before and you saw that logo, you'd be like, oh, what's Disney all about? I know, but I feel like... Look at that, dude. That is not even a... That's not a D. I don't know. That's a G. I think it's a D. But where are you...

even like, you're like, it was the first time I heard Disney. I don't like, how do you remember the first time Disney wasn't in your life, just around that? You just know it's Disney. It was around, but I'm saying I, I've always thought that that logo, I feel like you get presented like something that's like, we're going to introduce you. It's an amusement park. It's a kind of a big thing. Uh,

And like your parents go, I want you to see this first time. We've never talked about it. But you're eight years old and I want you to know about it. And they lay out. And you go, Disney? And they go, no, it's Disney actually. That's how Disney was introduced to you. It's not just everyday life. You're the only kid who could already read before they heard about Disney. Look, it's just, you know, but it's so far the opposite. It's just something that's a part of your life that you just, you don't think about it.

I mean, I don't know. You thought that was a backwards G? I thought that was a backwards G. Chick-fil-A? And growing up, we didn't have Disney Channel in my house, but I remember we'd go to my grandparents' house, and we had a Disney Channel, and all the Disney stars would draw out that logo and the commercials. They'd draw it out, and I always thought it looked like a G. I was trying to back up your Zaldi point, dude. I feel like it turned on me real quick. They're both dumb. Well, no. Zaldi makes sense.

And then Gizney. Look, all of it. Zaldi's a reasonable thing. Mine's not a mainstream. Mine's not just in the zeitgeist, right? Is that the thing now? Yeah. Oh, boy. All right. Pandemic shopping has ushered in wider aisles, new methods of sanitation. It's about time. Let's crowd. I like that. Yeah. You like that? Yeah. You like the arrows? Man, I won't go. Even before pandemic, you just see an aisle and you just see...

Just like it's just in the middle is all clogged up. I mean, people don't care. People do not think about personal space and they don't. I mean, they are, you see people, they are like cattle just bumping into each other. And, you know, you ever hit someone else's cart and you're like, oh, sorry. Like it's embarrassing, you know. Do you have a strategy? Shopping strategy? No. Zero strategy. You don't have a list? Coupons? I've never been under a situation where I needed a strategy to shop. It's never been.

I feel like I've never been the main shopper. I like to take my time in there. I know a lot of guys are in a rush. It's food, man. I enjoy walking around a grocery store. You're going to find some stuff you hadn't thought about, and you're going to be glad you got it. So I like to take my time. You a brand name guy? For some stuff. For some stuff, I want the brand name. You look at prices? Not as much as I probably should. I mean, I'll notice if something's ridiculous, then I won't get it, but...

That fits $3 versus $4. And I don't know. I never liked not name brand. Like, yeah, yeah. I like everything cereal. I want to be. See cereal. I like some of the non soda. I like the big bags. Yeah. Coco dino bites. I like the names. Oh yeah. Yeah.

And we used to always get the off-brand sodas, the Cokes growing up. Yeah, I mean, that was RC. I mean, RC's the main... Diet Dr. Thunder. That was big in our house. There's nothing more disappointing than if someone...

To me, if someone, you go to someone's house and they're like, you want some soda? And they have like K, they want it just K. It's got a circle or something. And you're like, you know what? And it's brutal. RC, we used to drink RC. Oh, yeah. My dad drinks Big Red. I don't know if anybody knows. You know what Big Red is? No. It's in Kentucky. And he loves it. And so when we used to, if we could ever find it,

Big Red, we would get it. You could get it to them as a gift. I mean, it wasn't easy to find. It's a little bit easier now. They had it, I saw it at a restaurant, like on a tap somewhere. It's like cheer wine, that kind of stuff? Yeah. I don't know. It's like cheer wine. I mean, it's like orange whatever. You know, if you get orange drink at the carbonated, you know.

What's the orange drink? Like Fanta? Yeah, like Fanta. It's like Fanta. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You ever put peanuts in your coat? No. Did y'all do that? No. No. You ever know anybody that did? Part of that. I might. Did you do it? Maybe I do know someone that did it. If peanuts are around... You put them in your coat. I'll put them in. Yeah. Did you not know that was a... No. And then you do it...

If you drop the peanuts in, like if you're having, is it make it special? Or is it like if you're having pizza and you get a Coke and you're like, dump some peanuts in.

Do you know what I mean? Is it like its own thing? Is it like... It's a very common thing in the South that people will put peanuts in their Coke. I don't think it's very common. I think it's pretty common, but I think it's an older generation thing. A guy I used to work with, Mr. Bilbrey, he used to always do it, and he told me about it. And now if peanuts are around and I have a Coke, I put them in. And you drink it?

Yeah. Like you eat the peanuts or they dissolve? You can eat them at the end if you want. It just gives the Coke a little bit of a different flavor. It gives it a little bit of a salty flavor. Yeah. It's more of a ritualistic, you know, just. Yeah. I saw some people pour. I remember once going to the movies with someone and they poured M&Ms in their popcorn.

And like they just opened it and they had their popcorn, you know, in a bag and they just dumped all the M&Ms in it and they would just eat that. And I've never seen that. I'm not a big mixer. They'd melt, right? It's hot popcorn. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's not that, you know. I'm not a big mixer. I'm not a big mixer either. I like everything kind of how it is. I don't eat, you know. Do you cut your candy bars with a fork? No. My strategy when I eat food, I go after what I don't.

my least favorite on the plate i start with that get it out of the way and then end with the that's a good strategy just in general yeah i get all right my wife's making me these i'll eat this nonsense and then get to the thick of it there's another nugget give it to the real reason we're there there's a nugget all right it's a good nugget all right uh let's see here

Walmart is testing a new system that replaces traditional checkout lines with an open plaza ringed by 34 terminals. Shoppers can scan their purchases or wave down an employee, which is what I would do, to do the scanning for them. Kroger intends to double down on customer choice, offering an array of options including self-checkout stations and an app that allows customers to scan and pay as they go, as well as traditional cashiers.

A year ago, 81% of shoppers surveyed by Gallup said they never turned to the internet for groceries. Online shopping was around 3% for all grocery sales, or about $1.2 billion, according to a survey. But in June of this year, online grocery sales in the U.S. had hit $7.2 billion. In a challenge to Amazon Prime, Walmart just announced a new $98 a year subscription service that offers same-day delivery.

Curbside pickup has also exploded. Stores are converting parking lots to better handle traffic from shoppers who drive by to pick up orders. Companies, including Kroger and Whole Food are opening what become known as dark stores designed solely for picking up or delivering orders placed online. Yeah. My wife does all HelloFresh. So they order, you know, they just send you the meal, but you cook it. Yeah. Uh,

But yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, people are, yeah, they're not going to go in. They're not going to go in these stores, which I might describe this in the future. Do you guys ever, yeah, it does kind of, do you guys, have you ever done pickup? Like where you order and they bring it out to your car? I've had delivery, groceries delivered before. Yeah. Wow. She does shipped a lot. Yeah. Shipped. Oh, that's the name of the service. Yeah.

So yeah, so this is, this is just have Amazon is testing its first fresh grocery store where customers would shop by signing into their Amazon app and placing their items in a dash cart, which uses camera sensors and a scale to automatically detect and log items on a digital display behind the handle. The technology makes it possible for shoppers to leave the store without going through a traditional checkout line.

Shoppers who use the dash carts will scan a QR code in their Amazon app to log into the cart before they begin. The system will automatically charge them using the stored card in their Amazon account. When they exit through a special dash cart lane, they'll then get a receipt via email after they leave. So you're actually looking at this stuff?

What do you mean? I don't understand what this is. So this is a commercial or this? Well, it just kind of shows it a little bit. Yeah. You basically just, once you take it off the shelf and put it in your cart, it'll sense it. Oh. And then it kind of shows you, oh, $38.65. Your shopping cart just keeps track of it. Yeah. So you're not checking out. Yeah. You just get it and then you walk right out of the store. Yeah. Technology's pretty amazing. Yeah. Yeah.

And if you put it back on the shelf, it somehow senses that it said, and it'll take it off. It's pretty cool. I mean, yeah. I mean, there are people. Yeah. They're not going to come in. I mean, they're not going to be going. We're not going to be talking to anybody. No, that's good. Did I tell you about the robot that was working at Walmart?

In Arkansas? No. I was in Rogers, Arkansas, which is right next to Bentonville, which is where Walmart is headquartered. So they use all the surrounding Walmarts to test all of their new stuff. So every time you go into their Walmart, they got something new. They had these robots patrolling the aisles in Walmart. It had a name tag.

And it was big and it would patrol the aisles, cleaning the floor, taking inventory in the aisles. Creepy stuff. Yeah. But kind of cool. You posted a video of that, didn't you? Yeah, I took a video of it because I was blown away. And everyone else is just walking around like this is normal. You got robot employees walking up and down the aisles. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. And then can you ask it for help?

I don't know. I stayed away from it. But maybe you can talk to him. It looked like it was doing its own thing. Like it was busy? It had a purpose. Leave it alone? Yeah. I'm not going near that. Yeah. Put a name tag on it like it's friendly. Yeah. Well, this Amazon store said they have Alexas where if you work- Is there blood on the name tag? Like he took it, that robot killed somebody? And then that's, you know, you should just go up to the robot and go, yeah, well, where is Jack? I don't believe your name's Jack. Where is Jack?

And then see the robot have to back, you know, be like, I am Jack. And then you're going, I don't believe it. And then you go find Jack. That's crazy. Yeah. Wild stuff. You want to get some of these crime? Yeah. Yeah. We've been, yeah, we got to speed it up. There's a couple. Which one? You got a preference in the crime stories? I think the second one's probably better. Okay.

um all right so apparently in grocery stores fake slip and falls is like a big deal people yeah i remember seeing them yeah yeah yeah and uh it's like um people do it they have to grocery stores have to charge you more because they have to have insurance for it um there's a woman right there they've kind of stopped because surveillance cameras now doing it

I mean, just out in the open. I know. There's like people around. Yeah. So she's kind of pretending like, okay, and then here we go. I mean, she wasn't even trying to look like it was authentic. Let me see if I can pull up this other one. I mean, you got to be getting caught. I feel like people are catching them so much now. Yeah. That...

I mean, they're really going after it. And there's so many cameras. Like, it's not even worth trying it anymore. Let me get ahead here. So these two women, they're shopping together. And now she's getting ready. I mean, you're literally feeling around on the ground. And she doesn't even try. She just lies down. Yeah. Well, you might as well. Yeah. Now her friend's going to get help. Yeah. Here they come running to help her.

Oh, the fire department. Here goes the paramedics. Yeah. And they carry her away. This is a woman shopping, like not even a big deal. Yeah. This woman is scum. Yeah. So that's from a local news investigation. So that's like a... I got me fired up though. I got actual paramedics. I don't like tipping at that yoga pole. I understand it, dude. That's a 72-year-old woman.

Yeah, I mean, to do it with their friends, I mean, that's, you know, I don't know. There's a disconnect, I think, with those people. They think it's the store. They think, oh, it's just who cares. It's, you know, it's all make-believe. They're rich. It's a big, you know, so they just don't. I don't think they feel an ounce of care. Yeah. This story said that even when they catch people sometimes, like that first one we watched, sometimes they'll still pay out.

before they go through all the legal fees. Just to, just to, because it's like, it could be give us 20 grand and they're like, whatever. Yeah. That's easier than, I mean, I think people could be doing it for that reason. Like they're doing it just to know, you know, I mean, to not saying that I'd imagine these people, if you're doing something like that, it's not like you have money. Like, what are you going to win? You know, if they beat you in a court,

You're not going to get money from these people. Like the grocery store is not. So yeah, you're just having to fight off. So why not just be like, they want five grand. Okay. Then they get it. Do y'all think you could fall convincingly at a store? I don't think I could either. You think you could do it? You'd have to really commit to it. I mean, you'd have to be willing to go down. I like to think I could do better than that first woman. I think that those people have done it before and they just know...

there's no difference of truly falling or i mean i guess they don't think about the cameras so but i actually thought that first woman that wasn't too bad i think i would do worse than that she did good she shouldn't have felt it around that's what i'm saying the actual fall was not bad but but testing the ground first i mean that was all very obvious yeah yeah yeah she would have done good yeah oh sorry this is the next story

You want to move on to this? Sure. Yeah. All right. Amy Gaudet Rabelais, hope I said that right, had just dropped her kids off at school and decided to swing by Trader Joe's in Baton Rouge, Louisiana shortly after it opened. After five minutes, a fellow shopper asked, excuse me, but is that your pet snake?

It wasn't. Unbeknownst to Rebele, a small snake had coiled itself inside her cart, hitching a ride as she shopped for groceries. I screamed it through my purse and generally created a scene, Rebele said. Later, the guy found me and said he had watched me walk around with the snake for about five minutes and he just assumed it was my pet because I was so calm. Can you imagine? I mean, just, I mean, you know, it would take a lot to get over that. With

Just knowing you're like, I was walking around for five minutes. Like you just grabbed it. And then, cause you would have, you would have just set something in and then accident. Oh man. I mean, just picturing it there. I mean, that lady will never grab a grocery store the same, a grocery cart the same way. Why do you always get the one with the squeaky wheel? Do you? I wish I had the squeaky wheel. This has happened a few times when I looked this up, there was another case where it's similar case. They were in the produce and somehow a snake had gotten in with,

and they like loaded some produce and the little girl said mommy there's a snake in our cart no really so it happened it's happened a few times well i get with the the produce uh yeah i guess you know you're bringing all that food in all the fruits and vegetables and they're coming from places with snakes snake climbs in yeah but how do they get to the cart that one i'd imagine uh

Had to come in, I mean, from outside. Yeah. And then just, you know, I bet that's a comfortable spot for a snake, a shopping cart. Yeah. You know, they can bend through all the stuff. They feel very secure. They can feel like probably I can relax. I'm not hanging half on a...

tree limb you know like you feel you feel good going in and out of the that probably does feel good slots animals and stores in general I was surprised how many just last month there was a bear that went to a grocery store in Lake Tahoe and like just roamed around got a bag of chips and left comfortable great feels in the

Grocery store, it's kind of cold. The floor is cold. Animals love cold floors. Can you imagine having to hunt for food your whole life and then you happen upon a grocery store? And you're like, what? You're probably like, this is heaven. This is what this is. Yeah. You know, in New York bodegas, they have cats. And just cats are just... They lay on the food. Yeah, I wanted to ask you, what's grocery shopping like in New York and LA? It was... You would go to...

L.A., you know, where was it? New York? New York was the first time you ever went to Target and you'd put your cart in like an escalator and you push it in and it takes it to the next floor.

And so you just, you would, uh, was it, I think there might be an LA too. I think LA had it, but New York had it. And so you'd be, have you'd have your, uh, Target or grocery store and they have another floor cause they have to. And then you, you push your thing and then you ride an escalator in the, in the, in the,

cart is just next to you that was the first time i ever saw that that was like the craziest thing ever i was like what on earth i've never seen that never even thought my like yeah thought you could ever why would it ever do that yeah and it was just normal for everybody out there

You'd go to bodegas and you just buy, you know, it's like going to 7-Eleven, but it's just a local run bodega. And I mean, I think people in New York, they eat out a lot. And, you know, it's a lot of, you can grab fruit. You mean people are buying pretty fresh stuff, but you would just go in. I mean, I don't ever remember. Do they have grocery stores? Like big chains? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I forget what they're called. Stop and shop. Hmm.

And yeah, it's a real, it's like a Kroger, you know? And so you could go in there, but you just go to bodegas and buy stuff. They had cats. I mean, I just remember cats being in there to go in bodegas and just a cat, like every one of them. And they jump up on the things around your bag of dino that you want. I mean, just, it smelled like cat pee in there. I mean, it wasn't, and it was just is what it is, man. No one that's just, yeah, it was just cats.

cat in your grocery store let me ask you all this if you had never seen a shopping cart before and you were told hey we're a store we need something people can use to put all the and you had to design a shopping cart from scratch you think you'd come up with that with what they came i mean it's just a basket on wheels i think i would come i would think i'd come up i'm not saying i'd come up with that

but i would come up with you don't think that there are any improvements to be made on what we now all think of i don't think i don't think i would have thought of the little flip thing up front for the kids uh is that what that's for i think i think plastic would be i think not as i just learned so if it doesn't hit you know so you can't walk up on someone and like you hit their back of their feet you know how about all four wheels being swivel wheels instead of just the front two

I think that can get out of control. You think so? I think so. And then, yeah, I mean, the shopping cart could do some updating. I mean, we just accept that that's what a shopping cart is. I think we're missing out on some. We can do more. Like what? Well, they're making them smaller now where it's two levels. Some of them are two levels. That's right. They have the ones of the kids that you, it's like a race car and they sit in it, which is fun when you have a kid.

to go be like, I don't even remember. And they get to drive it. Yeah. I always stood on the front. My mom would get on it. I was always, I loved standing on the front of it and you ride it. Yeah. You ever rode one of the little, little horses out front? I mean, as a kid. Yeah. You never did. You never rode. No, I did. I was all about it. Yeah. Do those still exist? Your parents told you like, oh, we're going to Disneyland. And that was you going to.

And they take you to Piggly Wiggly and they go, this is Disneyland. You're like, well, I get to ride all the rides. And you ride the thing outside. And where'd you guys go today? Amusement park. Took all the sites in. At Zaldi's. At Zaldi's.

Zaldi's didn't have horses. Zaldi's is a place that is, it's for your dinos. Yeah. You're lucky to find some dinos in there. They even have the ones below the dinos. Yeah. Dinos is too mainstream in Zaldi's. That's right. Zaldi's is about just a guy that's like, I have some cereal I just made. I'd like to sell it. And Zaldi's is like, we'd love to have it. Yeah.

I thought I had found this unbelievable story, to use your word. This guy got trapped. He was in the bathroom. And when he came out, they'd locked up the store. And he got panicked and nervous, and he ate $8,000 worth of food and drinks. Yeah. And I'm like, this is the greatest story. I mean, I'm so excited. I'm putting it in, typing it. And I was like, God, it almost seems too good to be true. And I did start doing some research on it. It was a made-up story.

Oh, really? It was like somebody said, I was just like, why is it I haven't heard about this? It was in West Tennessee, but none of the local news had done a story on it. And apparently it was made up. That would have been great. That is, I mean, if you got locked in, we didn't get out on this, but if you got locked into a grocery store, I mean, I would, you know, you know what my favorite food is? My favorite grocery store thing, Tostino's Pizza.

I love Tostinos. I love making it. That's where you'd start? I mean, I'm just saying. The pizza rolls? That just made me think of it. No, the pepperoni. Oh, Tostinos. Not Totinos. Okay. Tostinos. Yeah. It's almost my favorite pizza. I love it, dude. Wow. I love it. I love it so much. There's no oven at a grocery store, though. Yeah. It's an employee microwave. I'm just saying. That just made me think of that. So there's a Totinos and a Tostinos? Yeah.

Yeah, it's different. I guess. What is it? Totino's pizza rolls are the little pockets. Yeah, I don't know. And then, yeah, I would go donuts probably. Go get some donuts. That's where you'd start? Yeah. What about you, Aaron? If you're locked in a store at night?

I would go off. Yeah. I would. I'd go to the bakery, I guess. You've thought about this. Yeah. I'd start right away. I'd start at the front of the store and I wouldn't go around the edges. I would cut right through the middle. When they go, we're sorry we locked you in, you'd go, thank you.

I'd be like, no, I'm sorry that I got locked in. They would think you did it on purpose. Yeah. Do you think they would notice that a man was locked in there? Dude, they would think a pack of men. Yeah. So how'd you get your friends in during the night? Well, why didn't you just get out when your friends came? Because I was having fun, dude. Because it was a good time. Yeah. High five them on the way out. Bye, folks. As you...

As the sliding doors open, Brian walks in and goes, hello. Whoa. How did that door magically open? That man. All right. Grocery stores. All right. We did it. That was it, right? Yeah, I think so. There you go. All right. Thank you, guys. Let us know what you think. This is Brian reading it. This is Brian. Brian ran the show that time. That's right. How did it feel? Felt good. Yeah. Felt good.

As people drove off the road as it was... Since the pandemic, the need to avoid infection has taught people how to get by on fever. At least I'm bringing some excitement. See, if you could read like that, you could have kept reading. I'm trying to bring some fun to it. Get some words you don't know. People have spoken. Yeah, they have. Amazon is testing its first fresh grocery store where customers...

would shop by signing into their Amazon app. I am a stenographer. Grocery stores will become more of a pickup and delivery hub. You're like in Seinfeld, the rabbi. See the folks at the lane? Lane always takes that rabbi. 30-minute delivery times will become commonplace with groceries even possible delivered by drone.

Guys, would you take a grocery store by drone? And then maybe we would. Maybe we would. No, I think you did. You killed it, man. Yeah, that was great. Thank you. Congratulations. It's the first step to me being off the podcast. This is how it goes. All right, guys, we love you. Thanks again. You're all rating all your stuff. Leave your comments. We sent how to do those again, which was Twitter, Twitter,

YouTube, Instagram, and then Nate land at neighbor gets you.com. If you're old school and if you want to mail a letter, we'll give you a next week. We'll give a box. What is it? P.O. Box. P.O. Box. Mail a letter. Uh, but thank you guys. Uh, honestly, we truly, we love you. And, uh, we can't thank you enough for listening and we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation's Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.