The Soil of Surrender w/ Pastor Sheryl Brady
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It's one thing to allow the criticism of other people to affect you. It's another thing to allow it to deter you. But then you have to ask yourself, am I going to let it stop what God is doing in my life? When you're really called, you want it and you don't want it at the same time. When you have greatness in your life, seeds of greatness always grow best in the soil of surrender.

What's up, what's up? We are back. It's your girl, Sarah Jakes Roberts, and you are listening to the Woman Evolved Podcast. I am actually recording this. Well, I'm recording this on camera and...

on logic because I never get to respond to your questions on video because I don't record myself. And they may want to use this for social media. But before I do that, I want to just catch you up on my life. So this is Monday, September 9th, when I am recording this podcast. We are a little over two weeks away from the Woman Evolve conference.

I'm starting to get excited. At first, I was a little, you know, it's a lot logistically and stuff. And now that's kind of settled. It's moving along. And then I can maybe get a little nervous. I don't know if you're like me. Is it anxiety where I just need something to worry about? And so I'm no longer in the worrying phase. I'm in the gratitude phase and the opening phase. I think it's our fast. We've been fasting for 40 days before the Woman Evolve conference because I just want to be ready.

spiritually for whatever God wants to do through my life. I want to be open and focused and settled in my identity in the Lord. And also, yeah, I just can't wait to be in the room with you. So I'm excited about that. Also, I'm going to say this. For the last four weeks going on five weeks, my friends and I have been on...

a challenge. I won't call it 75 hard because none of us actually wanted to 75 or hard. We have been working out five days a week, eating right, doing all the things. We have a group chat. We check in and I've lost 12 pounds. Am I happy? No.

Not, I mean, am I happy I lost 12 pounds? Sure. But like, am I as an individual at no, every time I get up to work out, I don't feel good about it. I feel great afterwards, like a champion, like an Olympian, like they could just pass me the baton and I would take off running afterwards. But before it, I don't feel good at all. And so I just want you to know that like, if you're waiting to feel like it, it's,

going to happen maybe eventually, but maybe you're going to be like me and you never just feel like it, but you do it anyway. And then you thank yourself later because you want to take care of your body and you want to live a long time. And that's what we got. That's all we... And you want to be strong. Okay? You want to lift them grandbabies up. Also, I'm back in school and this is my third week of school. And so I am enjoying my classes. I will be honest. I am fully enjoying my classes. I

I am a nerd, a geek at heart. And so being able to study and have homework and assignments and being quizzed on the retention of the information I am receiving, it's doing something for me. I'm going to be your smart friend. And I just want you to prepare for that. I'm going to be humble about it. I will not weaponize my intellect, but I'm going to be your smart friend. You know, research, that...

I'm going to be that person. You know, the latest trend, you know, that person, it's me for at least another semester. And then it might wear off. Who knows what's going on in your world? How have you been? I have missed being able to sit down and talk with you like this. Although I will say that the feedback we are getting on the preaching podcast has been really amazing.

I'm grateful that those messages resonated with you. It means the world to me. But I've got some exciting conversations coming up for you. And I believe that they're going to tremendously just settle your spirit, change your perspective, and give you more clarity about what's happening in your world. I'm just asking that you listen with an open heart, that you be ready to receive what's for you. Eat the chicken, spit out the bones. But if it's the chicken, get all that protein, girl, so that you can re-

composition your body and be, you see what I'm saying? Five weeks in, who knows? Okay. But just get all that God has for you in this podcast. Before we jump into these conversation, well, I have to, but before we jump into this week's conversation, you know what I got to do. I

I'm jumping over to my folder where I keep all of your questions that have rolled in. I want to thank the girls that send me all of the things. It blesses my life. It makes me feel so good when I get to mind your business because it just makes me feel less alone. So let's start with this one. It says, I want to start by saying that listening to your sermons and your podcast has really been a blessing to me. And for that, I'm grateful. In particular, your Girl Get Up sermon spoke to me at the time of...

in my life where I was beginning to stray away from the way that I had been brought up. I'm a PK and was raised in church, but my life was not congruent with my faith. Girl, been there. Thank you for all that you do and keep letting God use you because your submission is building his kingdom. I have felt like God is pushing me to write this email to you for months now, but I resisted because I thought it wasn't important enough to write about. But now I feel what I've been dealing with and your advice could be the very thing that someone else is desperately needing to hear. So I am now being obedient. Now,

I need you to mind my business. At the beginning of 2023, I began working at a nonprofit Christian organization. I had applied multiple times for different roles within different ministries that were all a part of this one organization. Finally, I was hired and I was excited to be a part of it because it felt like I now...

would be able to contribute my skills and talents to bringing the word of God to the nations. However, from the first day that I got there, I was met with intense racism, hostility, intimidation, and aggression. I held on and prayed through it because I believed God placed me there for a reason, but the daily wars began taking a toll on my mental, emotional, and physical health.

I prayed that the Lord would sustain me and keep me through this season and that I would see justice. I was bombarded with lies and accusations about my character, my intentions. We prayed before and after our meetings, and even my prayers were criticizing you against me. After nine months, I was let go. As I write this email, that was exactly a year ago. I would love to say that I've gotten over it and overcome the side effects of the abuse, but I haven't fully gotten there yet. I did therapy as long as I could afford it, and it helped.

Through that time and now, I've stayed in my church and my Bible and have prayed consistently that God would help me to forgive, let go, and move on. Some days, I think it's done and behind me, but at the most random moments, an incident will pop in my head and I feel the hurt again. I used to think that I was good at forgiving people who have hurt me because I'm not a stranger anymore.

to that emotional and mental abuse. But God has used this season to show me where I fall short. And I now see that I was prideful about it. Once I came to terms with my shortcomings, I realized that God did place me there for a reason. He has used that season to stretch me and grow me so that I can be who he needs me to be in the next season to come. But Sarah, can I say that I am only human and I feel that I've stretched beyond my capacity. So here's my question. How can I reconcile being treated so cruelly by people

who claim to be men and women of God, and yet they disguise and justify their abuse and cruelty as the will of God. Getting over that is hard for anybody. Thank you for your transparency and sharing. Man, sometimes I just pray like, Lord, please come get us because we are down here. I know we're down here messing things up. I am no stranger to being...

mistreated, mishandled, experiencing the worst of humanity disguised as divinity.

And neither was Jesus, to be honest. That's why we don't have a high priest who can't empathize with us. Jesus knows exactly what it's like to have somebody doing things in the name of God that don't look like God at all. And imagine like being the son of God and someone telling you what your father allows. And when you be like, I know my daddy, my daddy doesn't allow that.

And yet Jesus doesn't make it his mission to dismantle them, to target them instead.

He does what is necessary to keep his heart and his vision pure for the work he has ahead of him. We see some moments where he engages and answers the Pharisees, and then we see other moments where he completely just ignores them and continues about his business. Never do we see him stopping the flow of what he was doing and changing his direction based off of the feedback, the pain, the...

misunderstandings of people who are being cruel to him in the name of God. I think about the woman caught in the act of adultery and how the Pharisees thought for sure that he was going to condemn her and correct her, and yet he ignores them completely, writes in the sand, and only makes contact with the woman. I say that to say,

Getting over it, I don't know. You're human. It's going to hurt. You're going to have moments where you think about it and it stings. I don't even want to say being detoured by it is my greater concern. It's one thing to allow the criticism of other people to affect you. It's another thing to allow it to deter you.

And I want you to give some thought into, am I allowing this criticism to hurt? Because I'm human and it hurts and I feel misunderstood. And sometimes it makes me angry and I feel bitter. And all of those are legitimate feelings that you can possess. But then you have to ask yourself, am I going to let it stop me?

And when, no, I won't even say, am I going to let it stop me? I'm going to take it deeper. Am I going to let it stop what God is doing in my life?

I think that that's the question we have to ask ourselves. Not why does it hurt? When will I get over it? Because you're human and it's going to prick and you're going to have these memories. And eventually, maybe it doesn't hurt as much. Eventually, maybe it rolls off your back. But right now you're not there. You're going to have moments where you think about betrayal, when you think about me being misunderstood, and it's going to hurt you. Let it hurt.

Let yourself be grieved. Let yourself be angry and then let yourself get over it for that time. And the next time it gets up, let yourself feel it and then get over it for that time. What you really have to ask yourself is, am I going to let it stop what God's doing in my life? Jesus didn't let it stop him.

And that's my goal. That's my mission is to live a life that is modeled after the life of Jesus. And I have to ask myself sometimes when I get caught up in the frustration and the anger and the fear and anxiety of being misunderstood, ridiculed and criticized.

And am I going to let it stop me? Because at the end of the day, I have to answer to God about what he gave me and my gifts, my talents, my anointings, my family. I have to answer to God for that. And my answer can't be, but they started talking about me. My answer can't be, you know, well, they didn't agree with it. My answer can't be, well, they didn't get it. I want to be able to say, God,

This wasn't easy. There were some moments where I wanted to pass this cup to someone else. But at the end of the day, I said, nevertheless, not my will, but your will be done. That's what I want to answer. And I believe that that's what your answer has to be as well. So when I look at your question and I think about all that you've gone through, whether it's the therapy you need to help you process those moments when it comes back like a flooding memory or

or just the reality that this really hurt and it was compiled amongst other emotional and mental abuse that I have experienced. And to be quite frank, I'm sick of it. Like you got to see this as a continuous experience that you have had that has created moments in which you get frustrated, in which you get triggered, but then where you're also not stopping.

And so get the work, do the tools that you need to possess, but don't pressure yourself to be somewhere you're not. Instead, allow yourself to live within the reality of the tension that I'm going to have good days, I'm going to have bad days. But most importantly is like, I'm going to do the work to keep moving forward. And that can look different from day to day. One day it could be I roll shrug, I'm over it. Another day it could be I'm a really need Jesus. But wherever it is, I want you to lean into the reality

that it's okay for you to be human and determined and that the Holy Spirit is going to walk this out with you and that Jesus knows exactly what it's like to be in a similar situation and the same power that existed inside of him to see himself through those moments exist inside of you if you got him on your side. So I hope that helps evolve.

When we talk about experiencing mental and emotional abuse in the context of a faith-based experience, I cannot help but think about my fellow PKs who are constantly inundated with the reality that

that they are growing up in church. And as a result of growing up in church, they have many of the problems that some of the people who come to church possess, but they are not allowed to have them because for some reason we are supposed to just

come as like really prepackaged, perfect little Christians before we've even been in the world to really understand why we need Jesus. And as a result of that, many people end up straying away from their faith. One of my biggest, I don't even want to call it fears, but one of my greatest prayers is, God, please let me see my children again.

their individuality and their passion and their talents and their gifts to be present in their lives. And I know there's some controversy on soft parenting or gentle parenting, but I really want to... I want to see them. I don't want them to be fixtures in my life or decorations in my life. I want to know them. And...

I don't know how I've done yet because I'm still raising them, but I can tell you as of right now, even going through the teenage years with my daughters, with one of my daughters, I fully feel...

And I'm aware of when she's having a good day, when she's having a bad day, who her friends are, how are they? I feel like we have communication about where she is in life and that gives me a lot of peace. And she seems also receptive to our influence and our wisdom in a way that makes me feel like we're walking this thing called life out together and I'm not dragging her.

As it relates to us being pastors specifically, though, I also want to make sure that she sees my relationship with the Lord on display, not just hearing me speak on Sunday, but seeing how I'm walking out my relationship with God, how I'm doing things by faith, things that are making me afraid, things that I'm relying on God to do in my life. And that requires me to communicate and be honest about where I am with her and what

it's a dance, it's a journey, but it's one I am committed to taking because I don't want to lose my family and have a bunch of followers. I don't want to be popular in the streets and be unpopular at the crib. I've said I'm a lot. So with that in mind, I started talking to Pastor Cheryl Brady as a woman in ministry wondering like, how do you balance it all? And

And as beautiful as women evolve is ministry is really male dominated. And most of the men who are in ministry, I don't know their private lives, so I'll be careful speaking about that. But I wonder if they are balancing...

the responsibilities that women in ministry possess, whether it relates to presentation, the ability to speak to diverse crowds, our experience and our insight and wisdom being honored and treasured, much like Jesus did. Jesus gave platform to so many women.

And I just wonder as a woman in ministry, especially also balancing motherhood, like how do I stay faithful to this call while also being present at home and taking care of my children and Pastor Cheryl Brady?

Thank you so much.

so vulnerable, so honest about her own experiences that it made me feel less alone.

and more secure in the path that I'm taking. And I wanted to share this conversation with you all because I believe it's going to help you no matter what stage of life you're in. Although I know there are some of you who are just carrying the baton of ministry, I also know that there are entrepreneurs, there are students, there are professional baddies, there are girls who are getting their life together, all connected to this podcast, no matter where you are in life. The topic of surrender, the topic of balance, the topic of

holding things together will never ever be one that falls on deaf ears because we all need to hear from one another how we're holding it together. So I'm looking forward to you experiencing this conversation. I know that it's going to bless you as it blessed me. Oh, and can I just say, you're going to want to grab your pen and paper because she dropped it, but literally I stopped recording and was like, I need to write that down.

because it was just a bomb that was dropped. So let's get into this week's episode with Pastor Cheryl Brady. For those of you who don't know, she demolished us at Woman Evolve 2023. She's coming back in 24. I don't know what God's going to do. All I know is I'm going to be in the building. If you haven't registered, we waiting on you. You can use code CIS100, that's capital CIS100,

SIS 100 to be in the building and get $100 off of your registration. You don't want to miss what God's going to do. She is the senior pastor of the Potter's House of North Dallas. She is an author. She is a wife. She is a mother. She is a grandmother. She is a fire house, powerhouse preacher that carries the fire. And she mentored me in this call. So I'm going to let you guys mind my business. Let's get into it.

My auntie pastor. Hey! My niece of an amazing wonder. Man, can we just first of all, can we talk about

Just how far back we go, like actually in real life. And then like what is happening right now? Can you please just prophetically help me understand what is happening in the world? You know what? It's so crazy. Well, I don't know if I can do that about the world. What's so crazy is how far back that we do go. And I just was telling my assistant, you know,

I said, you know, when Sarah and Cora were little, I said they would come to my house and we would play salon. And y'all would give me the greatest foot massages on Sunday afternoon between church, you know, between Sunday morning and Sunday night because we had to have church Sunday morning and Sunday night. Wow.

I told my girls this yesterday Sunday we were leaving church and I was like do y'all know that we used to come back up here at 7 o'clock like do you know that was our life is that we didn't just get finished in the morning church was our existence

mean it was our existence and somehow we had the grace to do it but like let's not do that again right now okay because I don't know that I have the grace to do it but yeah that's y'all are so little and and I appreciate God for bringing our lives together I certainly wouldn't be who I am without the Jakes family and y'all have and now to watch you I'm

I'm like, that's that little girl. That's that baby girl. And I see, I just stand back and I'm like, God, you're just amazing.

I really, in many ways, I think especially coming back to Dallas and being around so many of the people who I was raised by, I still have moments where I feel like that little girl, but then there's just like this sobering reality that God is granting me an opportunity to grow. And

And yet to still maintain that like little girl nature as it relates to just being in the presence of God and gleaning from the wisdom of God that's all around me. It's an interesting season to be like in this sandwich generation. Yes. And my mind automatically goes to Solomon and how his story in the Bible where God made him king.

And he's like, oh, you know, me? You know, why not my father? You know, I am but a child, he said. And God made him a king in spite of the fact that on the inside, he felt like a child. And I love his story. And I love how he talks about the people of God. And he said, these are your great people, God. Not just people.

And I think as somebody in ministry, in any form, we must never, ever forget that God's people are great. And anything we do to service his house or his people, it's a get to do.

Yeah, it's a good to do. Can I ask you as a woman in ministry, how do you feel like things have changed from when you first began to what we experienced now? How do you think things have changed and how do you think things are the same? I think, let me tell you, let me go back to last year's woman evolve. Okay. I was, I was so nervous. Okay. When I tell you I was so nervous, I,

I was standing behind the stage and y'all introduced me. And I'm telling you from the moment that my feet stepped beyond that wall that was there and I walked out. First of all, I didn't know what to expect. But when I walked out, there was the face of youth, but the hunger of old.

And to see so many, and so it took me several minutes to deal with that because I'm hearing an old cry coming from a young woman. And that, so it took me a minute to just regulate and deal with like, this is crazy. But there was ancient wells in that room.

And they were young and beautiful and, and, and yet they were so hungry. So I, it takes me back to woman, the art loose days when woman, the art was when your dad would say, you know, we're going to convene and we're having woman art loose. I mean, to tell you everybody, every woman's life just went on hold because that was that our, our next assignment was connected to,

to those meetings and people came so hungry. And when they would, when your dad would say, woman, thou, I mean, there was such a roar. So from day one, from day one, I've always said there is a sound that is associated with woman, thou art loose. And I heard that sound.

And just to be able to stay, I felt like the, lucky is not a good word I guess to use, but I felt like the luckiest person in the world that night at Mormon Evolved because I had one foot in that generation.

But I also was feeling so blessed to be able to put another foot in your generation. And I was like, God, I'm literally a woman that has evolved. I have evolved and you let me live to see it.

And the hunger. I mean, that's the same, which is so good because hunger is a sign that you're getting healthy. One of the first things that you lose when you're sick is you lose your appetite. And I'm telling you, there were ever how many women were in there. I mean, from the front row.

To the balcony, the last room, you could feel and if anybody is a speaker, you know what that's like, but I could feel they were pulling everything out of me.

I mean, everything was coming out of me and I was like, God, I don't know what it's been many a year since I stepped into an arena and felt like everybody in the room wanted something that I had. And I was telling somebody yesterday, I said when I walked on that stage, it was like I was enveloped in a huge cloud.

And I walked onto that stage covered by that cloud. And that cloud stayed with me, Sarah, for days. Wow. Days. It wasn't over when church was over. But for days, I was like, God, you allowed me to step into something new that you are doing in the earth. And listen, he's doing it through you and your team and everything.

Is using bits of your history. And, you know, it's all part, all the stuff that we've been through is what makes us who we are. And I couldn't be who I am. You couldn't be who you are had God not decided to do that.

You said hunger is a sign of health, and that just deeply resonates with me because you're right. The first thing we lose is our appetite. And to be hungry for God, I think right now I feel myself getting hungry, getting more fasting for a woman evolve. And I feel that hunger. I feel like since last year and this year that...

I feel like the enemy's like greatest attack on my mind and my planning has been like, it doesn't matter. It's just making noise. It's not a big deal. And I've had to really consecrate myself to hear from God because I feel like the confidence and the clarity and the weight of what woman evolved is can only come from me being in the presence of God. And so I wonder like,

as a mentor for so many women in ministry, not just myself, who are desperate to maintain that hunger and to go to the right source to be filled. What is that rhythm like over years? Like, I feel like, I mean, this is going to be the sixth woman evolve. I,

I've been in ministry for 10 years and I feel that Solomon's scripture feels so much like me. And I think there's a part of me that's wondering, like, when am I going to feel like sure footed? When am I going to feel confident in this thing and not, you know, have these same battles with the enemy about inadequacy or the importance of the anointing God's placed on my life?

Did you hear what I said a minute ago when I said I was a little nervous? Yeah, I did, but I wanted to just scratch that out. After all of these years, there is still something in me that when people say, do you ever get over that? When do you get over that? I wish somebody would tell me because I've never got over that. Now, there is a level of confidence there.

that you, but it's not confidence in yourself. It's confidence in the Christ that is in you. And you know that if he opened a door for you,

And that's why I have never been one to try to knock my own doors down. Because I'm like, anybody that tries to do that, they're crazy. Because, I mean, if he don't do it and if he don't open it.

And I tell him all the time, I'm like, God, I'm sure I told him when I walked out there that night. God, if you don't help me, I will make a fool out of both of us. Both of me and you.

I tell him that all the time because there is that thing in me that is totally dependent because, and I think it's worked for my advantage, the fact that I don't have that personality anymore.

You know, some people just have that personality and whether, if God doesn't show up, they can still go out and do whatever. I was never that person. I was envious of that person, but I was never that person. So I'm like, look, I have to have you. So whatever it takes, whatever it takes, you just tell me. And

And I mean, I will take God like, okay, God, today is September. I mean, today is August. What is the date? 29th? Whatever day it is. I'm like, God, this is the month of September. And I so need you that if I go out here and fail, I'm taking you right back to this day that I said to you I needed you. Because I can't.

do it without you. So that, that takes me to surrender. Yeah. You know, because there's that place that you have to really say, okay, God, I can't control the outcome. That's what surrender is. It's, it says I've gotten to the place now where I realize I cannot control the outcome. And the way you're able to do that, um,

You become, I don't know if I want to say accommodating, but acceptance is what's important. And the reason that I can surrender is because I have come to a place where I can say, I just accept whatever you say. I don't want anything you don't want me to want. I don't need anything you don't need me to need.

So help me, God, to just accept what you send me. It's out of my control. And the way that happens is through trust. And the way trust is built is through relationship. Because I've been in stuff, Sarah, that I felt like was way bigger than me. And I remember God saying to me one time, Cheryl, I'm the man in your life.

I am the man. I will get every door for you. Don't try to get it for yourself. So therefore, I knew if he opened it, his grace would take me in there and enable me to do whatever I had to do. And I have even as of late, I have come to the point where

Because I really like to think things through. And I like to have everything prepared. I'm like, I leave God that little bit of room. Like, okay, you can blow up and do everything you want to do. But I'm going to be ready. Okay, I'm going to have something. I'm going to be ready. And then I just kind of went through that season of...

I don't know why God, I can't seem to get it clear. I can't map this out. And at that point, I've learned sometimes late on a Saturday night, how to just put my Sharpie down, my paper down, get up out of my chair, walk to my bedroom and lay my head down and say, if you don't do it, it won't be done.

And sometimes, most of the time, late in the midnight hour, I'd go to bed with no direction and wake up and think, if I had had it the whole time. But I'll tell you, those moments, it's trust. And sometimes the greatest thing you can do is just go to bed. Go to bed. Okay.

It's like, it's trust, but it's also stress. Like, it is, it is, it is a wrestling to trust because, um,

I feel like ever since God gave me this word surrender for the year that I've had to defend surrender in the context of our relationship with Jesus, because when we surrender with Jesus, we are trusting that whatever the outcome is, that we're not going to have to face it alone.

that the presence of the Lord will be with us and the presence may comfort us. The presence may propel us. The presence may protect us in the midst of whatever it is we're trying to hang on to. And I think so often we have seen surrender as defeat. And I just, I feel like I wanted everyone else to surrender, but I wanted to not. Yeah.

I second that. I do. Yes, let me tell y'all how to do it. But also not do it. And I feel like the last probably 30 days that everything that's happening in my life, anytime I ask God, like, what are you revealing to me about who you are in this season? What is it that I need to understand about my walk? Where are you developing me and making me more like Jesus? It all comes down to...

If you surrender, you can get to that. Like the area of your life that I am trying to spiritually develop you in requires surrender. So if you let go of your plan, your rhythm, your pace, your vision, then on the other side of surrender is proximity to Jesus.

And you say you want to be like Jesus. You say you want to be reconciled and have this flow of God's wisdom and power and grace and love in your life. But all of that's on the other side of surrender. And it's stressful. And it's not just a one-time surrender. Because sometimes I feel like it's really not. It's that...

just in light of what you're saying, I grew up and not an only child, but I was a lonely child because there was 11 years between me and my baby, me and my older sister. So by the time I came along, everybody was married and gone. And, you know, or they were, because my sister got married like when she was about 16 or so. And so I didn't have many years at home with them. But the crazy thing is that

I felt isolated a lot. I didn't understand that as a child. And then I lost my father and I didn't understand that because I was like a daddy's girl. But it's like my life was so isolated and it wasn't until I got grown that I realized all of that.

was the purpose of God being molded in my life because he became everything to me. And he put things in me and you and somebody that's listening to us today, put things in us. And I know for me that I had no clue we're there.

I'm telling you, preaching, talking, having a conversation with somebody was so opposite of my nature. And then I married a man who loves to talk. So that was awesome because he talked, I didn't have to. And so it was in those moments that I learned to hear God. And

He kept requiring things of me. I had to surrender to the loneliness. I had to surrender to the fact that he took my sister when I was only two years old. I had to surrender to the fact that I lost my father. I kept saying, God, I'm young, but you keep taking me to this place called the altering.

And I keep having to lay things down on this altar. But I'm telling you, I would have never known that I was a worshiper had he not required things from me to lay on the altar. I would have never known that there was a leader in me, but I had to go to that place of surrender.

And I'm saying that to say what you were saying a moment ago, that it's usually not until you surrender that he opens up and you start seeing things on the other side of surrender. I didn't know that I could speak in front of anybody. I didn't know it until I said, yes, Lord.

And I really meant it. But I was scared because when you're really called, you want it and you don't want it at the same time. You're saying, you're my Lord, sin Sarah. Sin anybody. And then there's something in you that reaches...

You're scared, but you reach for it anyway. Because it's that conflict of surrender. I would have never known I could be an author. I would have never known I could be a pastor. I would have never known I could be an itinerant ministry person. But all along the way, God would say, okay, time for another sacrifice. And...

It would be time to lay things on the altar. And then when he, because everybody says we're going to the next level, we're going to the next level without understanding that the first thing you come to on the next level is an altar of sacrifice. Oh, it's the first thing you come to that you have to lay it down.

But when you have greatness that's in you and greatness in that atmosphere that I walked into at Woman Evolved last year, when you have greatness in your life, seeds of greatness always grow best in the soil of surrender.

I have to write that down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, hurry up and write that down. So even if I forget it, one of us have it. But seeds of greatness always grow better in the soil of surrender. So that says you can be so great. You can have great gifts. You can have great talents. You can have great opportunities. But at the end of the day,

If those seeds are not planted in the soil of surrender, you'll never ever maximize your potential because they have to be planted in that. And I didn't say they have to die in that soil, but they do have to be planted. And I'm telling you, when there's greatness in you, the women that you attract,

There's greatness in that. And they're probably trying to figure out what in the world am I doing here? I did see some women from Woman, Thou Art Loose. I saw a crossover. Oh, I thought it was so awesome because the Bible says a wise man takes out of his treasure both old and new. And when I stepped on that stage, I could feel all of that. I could feel the old with the new. I could feel the older wisdom, but I could feel the younger wisdom.

hunger yeah and it was colliding in the room the women that will gravitate to you even the men that gravitate it's because there is greatness in them and it's something about when you hear the sound uh every move of god is is preceded by a sound and when you hear that sound

It'll make you stop dead in your tracks. I mean, that's what I did to your father. When I heard him on a cassette tape, I said, I got to find him. And I was on a mission to Charleston, West Virginia, to find out where's this church? Where's this man? Because that sound grew me. It grew me. And it taught me.

And it made me who I am. You're doing the same to a whole new generation of women. I mean, that is so scary. That is so scary. And, you know, recently, um,

I think someone sent me something someone negative said about me on social media and I was wrestling with it. And I think, I think it's just a part of the whole inadequacy attack and all these things. And you know what hurt me the most about it is that it wasn't even what they said. It's that I took what they said to the Lord, because if they were right and I was misleading people and not getting them to Jesus in some way, like,

That was devastating to me. I think my greatest desire is to just be that bridge, not the stopping point, but to be that bridge. And I think, you know, the enemy doesn't have any new tricks. And so I think part of the strategy of the enemy that I need to study as it relates to what he continues to lay in front of me as a track is, um,

the fear that I am mishandling the influence because I,

All I really want is to create those atmospheres, to serve those atmospheres, for those atmospheres to be transformational. And I think the mere thought that those atmospheres aren't what they feel like they are, like in the room. Like if it's not that, then I'm way wrong. And God, get me together because it feels, I mean...

For a room that size to feel that intimate means the presence of God was so heavy and so thick that he swallowed up all the space in the room. Completely. Completely. It was engulfed.

And if I was the enemy, I would fight you too. I would fight you tooth and toenail. I would strategize. I would do everything that I could. And the beauty of what you just said was you went to God and you said, if I'm wrong,

If there's any truth to whatever this statement is, please help me. Because I don't want to be wrong. But I'm telling you, you are that bridge. And then you have to think about what a bridge does. A bridge connects cities.

It'll take this city, a bridge connects it to this city. Different parts of town often there's a bridge that is in between. Bridges are driven over, bridges carry weight. All of those things, bridges are often the link between an abundance.

So if you wonder why you feel the weight, it's because you do feel the weight. The great thing, and I've had to tell myself this so many times, is the scripture that talks about being strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. Not Cheryl's might, not Sarah's might.

That's so much easier said than done because sometimes you get so busy in it that you all of a sudden it's on you and you're like, I can't move. I'm paralyzed. And that's when the inadequacies come in. That's when all your plans start. Like you feel like, God, I don't know how to make this happen. But the greatest, the absolute greatest thing that can happen is

to somebody's dream is a plan of surrender. It's the greatest thing that can happen because you got it, you take it to the Lord and you say, now do it, do it, just do it for me.

And I don't know who I heard preach this one time, but they were talking about, and they don't really, some places have them today. But when you walk into a grocery store, there was these mats, they put mats out. And as you stepped on the mat, the door automatically opened because there was a camera, there was a sensor, there was something up there that saw you coming.

Something knew you were in the vicinity and you didn't have to open that door. You just stepped on it. Now you had to be on the path because if you wasn't on the path, the door would not open. That's why it's imperative that we are called according to purpose because all things don't work together for everybody.

They only work together for the good. Two things. That verse is very discriminating. For those who love the Lord,

And those that are called according to purpose. That's why you can wear yourself out doing things. And then all of a sudden, your feet land in purpose. And you are like, all of us, you feel blessings coming from years gone by. It's because your feet landed in purpose and all the stuff that was meant for evil.

Even some of the comments that people would say, all of them start working together for Sarah's good. And God opens the door and blesses you and people look at you and say, where did that come from? Well, the truth of the matter is her feet landed in purpose and God reached back and he redeemed the time. And because of that, he'll give you houses you didn't build and wells you didn't dig and vineyards that you didn't plant.

And that's why purpose is so important. That's why the women that come to woman evolve have got to understand, I've got to know my purpose. And I'm just crazy me. I'm crazy enough to believe now that whatever I'm in, there's purpose.

Yeah. There's purpose. I'm not going to spend the latter end of my life searching for my purpose. I'm going to surrender my life to him and just say, God, if you open the door, I'm stepping in it. Scary. Sometimes it's heavy, but I am called to be that bridge that people are going to, there's going to be so much weight put on me, but as long as you help me.

I'll be the bridge that connects one generation to the next, poverty to wealth, connecting people to entrepreneurialism. I mean, there's just so much. That's why it might feel heavy. And that's why the enemy would fight you, because he wants the bridge to go out. But he's a liar. You got too many people that are there with you. Somebody said to me yesterday, what is the definition of success?

I said to me, success is getting to the place I'm destined to go with the people that are destined to go with me. Because I can't do it on my own. I want to get there, but I want those that are destined to be there with me. Because they strengthen you, they strengthen you. And there are things,

You need everything, you need the prayer warriors. You need people that will say, I'm gonna pray from one to two, I'm gonna pray from two to three. You need all of that. You need people that will get up in somebody's face and fight if they have to. You need people who will worship. You need people who will work.

And they will labor. And guess what? It is just as much a part of their calling as yours is a part of your calling. Right.

That's it. I love that you said that because I feel like so many of us miss out on the opportunity to have the people who are destined to get there with us because of our own trust issues with people and thinking that they don't really want to do that or, you know, they're going to be training in some way. And so we insist on trying to get to the place we're destined to be, but going alone so that we don't.

have the vulnerability of being connected to people not realizing that there are people who are literally called to get to that destined place with you they're assigned to be there that's part of their assignment it's it's just like god says i'm going to send a movement into the earth called woman evolved it's going to be right there sarah jakes roberts is going to put her hands on it

put your hand on it. All of those women, put your hand on it, put your hand on it, because it's our assignment. And the thing is, and if I could say this to the women in ministry today, I want to so encourage people that even though you have this wonderful calling and great opportunities, in the middle of it, make sure that you're

That you don't leave what matters at the mercy of what doesn't matter. And by that, I'm saying, as you go into ministry and as God opens doors, make sure that your family is intact. Make sure. I was never going to be the woman that was out there preaching to the world. And my babies not know what to wear to school.

Yeah. So I would iron their clothes and I'd put it on a hanger and I'd put a little piece. I didn't even have sticky notes at the time. I should have invented those things. But I would write on a piece of paper and get a big old safety pin and pin it on their clothes. And it would say Lana Monday, Lana Tuesday so that they didn't wake up.

And not know what to do because mom was, oh, mom's out there just saving the world. But they grew up knowing that God had taken care of them. And today they're all in ministry because I didn't offer them on the mercy of the altar called church or on the mercy of the altar called a woman's ministry. Yeah.

And so in so many ways, I feel I can't explain it. And if I could put it in a bottle and sell it, I would be rich today. But somehow I've got where I needed to be with those that needed to be there too. That is my biggest, like, as God continues to just reveal his plan for our lives and anointing, I'm just like, God,

And if the cost of this, yes, are my children or my marriage, it's too high of a price to pay. It's too much. Even when we came back to Dallas, I'm like, you know, Lord, you know, there's a lot of responsibility, a lot of exposure, a lot of vulnerability here. And this place has been a part of my journey in a way that probably made me feel honored and a little traumatized.

And I told God, like, I'm going to come back, but I just don't want to lose my family. And God told me the reason I'm sending you back is because you won't let that happen.

Like if you make that your boundary and you allow that boundary to be a part of everything that you do, you will show people that are watching you, that are connected to you, that you can be in purpose and you can be powerful and creative and innovative and strategic and also make snacks and be emotionally available for your children and partner.

You know, so like this meeting got to end at 2.30 because Sarah's got to go pick up the children. And I don't want them to feel uncovered while I cover other people's.

other people and we need people we need people like you to to model that because for years when we would fill the call we would think I have to go because God has called me but wait a minute my first call is right here it's in my house it's to my children and I don't want them to grow up despising ministry yeah so we need that modeled we need that modeled by your generation

And I think you do an amazing job at it. Although there are, and you got to really be careful because there were times that your life can get to spinning so fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That you don't even know. I mean, when I tell you, and I look at your life and I'm like, I don't know how in the world that she does this. But there were days that I was spinning so fast.

That I would, like Tina would always go with me to a church. She would sing before I would preach. And I would hug her and take the mic from her. And I would always put my mic down and I'd say, whose church are we at? What's the pastor's name? Because I was in such a spin that I was numb.

And you get absolutely numb. I was numb. And I wished I wouldn't have been numb, but ain't none of them churches getting a do-over because it was what it was. And I don't have the grace to do it again. But you can, and it can spin so fast that all you can do is look out and say,

wait, there's my husband. Let me grab him. Let me grab my daughter. And now I'm on the next generation. Let me grab my grandson. So that when I get to where I need to be, at least I'm there.

with those who need to be there too. Man, and that requires intentionally checking. You know, it's like Mary losing Jesus. You know what I mean? She just assumed he was somewhere in the crowd, so certainly he's here. And then you look around and you're like, wait, he's not here. I feel like part

Part of why I am so insistent on like trying to be here as often as I can with my kids, trying to pick them up, trying to take them to school as much as possible is because I'm not saying they won't get lost in the crowd. I'm just saying I want to know where they are. And, you know, I,

I was telling someone, everyone's like, you know, they're going to go astray at some point. And I'm like, yeah, you know, Jesus leaves at 99 to go get the one, but he knows that the one is gone. I just want to know when they're gone. You know what I mean? Absolutely. I want to go and find them and get them. And they leave in such a different way today. They can still be eating at your table. In the house and gone. And gone.

And so that means I have to be intentional about staying connected. I have to be a woman that can feel, we have to feel things. We know when things ain't right, all of our children.

And I'm telling you, but it absolutely takes that place of saying, God, I want everything you want for me. That's all I want. I'm willing to surrender. I'm willing to be sown down into some rich soil. And when it's all said and done, I want to get where I'm going with those that are meant to be there as well.

You're doing a great job. Thank you. You're doing a great job. Thank you. And what a lot of people, they don't understand is that you'll be out on the road doing what you do. You'll be connecting to home, still keeping everything together. Only to come home and land on a Saturday knowing God in 12 hours

You have to speak to me. I got to get up. I got to get up. That's how I did it. We did this whirlwind tour for Power Moves. We're doing press during the day, doing these amazing events at night, like boom, boom. I mean, 4 o'clock in the morning, ending at 11 o'clock, flying sometimes in the middle of the night to get to the next city. And I got back on a Tuesday night.

No, I got back on a Wednesday morning at five o'clock in the morning. One of the older kids took the kids to school that day. I picked them up that afternoon. I was back in the routine. And I think by the time mid-June hit, I was like, listen, power has moved. It is woman dissolve time.

time. It's giving woman dissolve. She cannot evolve anymore. She's got nothing left. That's so funny. I prayed for you in that time though because I not to the degree that you do it but I could identify with just the humanness of it. I did. I prayed for you that God would just bless you and keep you. I am still to this day

I have travel triggers. They're very, very real. But if I see a suitcase, I literally, I have anxiety. Yeah, where are we going? What are we doing? What's happening here? And you can tell me two weeks from Friday, you're going to go. And I'm like, wait a minute. I have anxiety until I get back home from that date.

It's just, I just say that's my tribal triggers and it's a real thing. It's a real thing. And then again, you have to say, but God, I told you I would surrender. Yeah. You know? And so that's why I'm saying it's not a one-time thing.

It's a simple sacrifice. Tina wrote a song when she was little. She wrote a song that is called, it's a simple sacrifice of just giving your life.

You know, you hear both of those extremes. Like, it's a simple sacrifice. Right, right. But it's your life. It's your life. It's your life. But he's a good, good father. And he will bless us. When our feet hit that path, somehow he makes up for all of it.

And so what I do is I would come in my office after being on the road, after spinning out of control, and I'd be like, okay, God, I'm up tomorrow. It's my turn. And I would tell my husband, he'd be home all week long and I'd be traveling, and he'd say, you're up tomorrow, babe. And I'm like, why? Why I got to be up? Why can't you be up? And

And, but God was good. He was faithful. And, but there comes a point where you just have to trust him. You have to trust him. And sometimes you have to lay your pin down. You have to put, close your computer. You have to walk out of the meeting. You have to say, God, I put it all in your hands. And he must have done the good work. This has been amazing.

the most necessary 40 plus minutes that I needed for my life. I'm grateful. I'm grateful. I needed so many of these reminders and I know that it's going to help so many people. So thank you for your time. Thank you for your heart. I do not tap into the well of who you are enough. It's funny. I was just praying. I was like, God, I wish I could talk to somebody spiritual about what I'm going through right now. Who wasn't my dad or my husband, you know what I mean?

Exactly. I wish I had someone, but God knows, God knew I needed this. So thank you. Thank you. I needed this too. I love you. I love you more. What did I tell you? I know that you have been just as blessed as I have been. Man, when we finished recording this podcast, I called my husband. I was like, Pastor Cheryl, she just got my whole life. And I hope you got your whole life as well. It's my honor and my pleasure to serve what God's doing in your life.

I don't play about you. I take so seriously who you are and God. I take so seriously the struggles you have gone through and the ones you are yet facing. And I just consider it my deep pleasure. I just I love you. It's my honor and pleasure to be on this journey with you.

I pray that you never feel like I am talking down on you or lacking understanding because I just, I feel like the Lord has given me a love for his people that

He has for them. And I just pray that God continues to do that and allows me to have strategy and wisdom and creativity that draws you closer to him and me too. So listen, I love doing life with you. I can't wait for next week. Oh, Hosanna Wong. She's coming to Woman Evolved 24 as well.

Listen, I know that not all of you can come. And so being able to share with you the voices that are coming to Womany Ball 24, I feel like is giving you the next best thing. So I can't wait for our conversation. Her story was not expecting this. Her story was actually pretty amazing. And we're basically friends now. She just don't know it. All right. I will talk to you next week. I'm praying for you, God. Between now and the next time we speak, who knows what will happen in my friend's life.

who knows what challenges she'll face, who knows what uncertainty may arise in their heart. But God, I pray that you will be there as a shield the moment something comes her way, that she will be reminded that something may have gotten close, but it didn't penetrate because your presence was there. Giving her peace, giving her wisdom, giving her creativity. God, open her eyes, make her aware of the ways that you're moving in her world.

In my world. In their world. And I pray, God, that as you continue to reveal yourself to us, that we will say yes to evolving, regardless of what we have to surrender along the way. We love you. In Jesus' name. Amen. Evolve.