cover of episode The Other Side of Surrender w/ Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts

The Other Side of Surrender w/ Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts

2024/10/23
logo of podcast Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts

Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts

Key Insights

Why did Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts feel it was important to yield the opening session of the Woman Evolve Conference to Priscilla Shire?

She wanted to honor pioneers and veterans in ministry who paved the way for many women.

What was the purpose of the 'activation of the sisterhood' at the conference?

To ensure no woman felt lonely or disconnected in a large gathering by fostering community and connection.

Why did Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts feel the need to address mother wounds in the conference?

To provide deep healing and empowerment for women dealing with various expressions of motherhood.

How did Pastor T. Renee Glenn's prayer service impact Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts?

It provided personal reassurance and encouragement, addressing specific concerns only God knew about.

What message did Crystal Renee Hazlett share about her journey as a Christian?

She emphasized the importance of protecting one's spiritual growth and being transparent about one's journey.

How did Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts describe the atmosphere at the Woman Evolve Conference?

It was a safe space for women to be authentic and experience God, regardless of their stage in faith.

What did Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts learn about trust from Pastor T. Renee Glenn?

To rest in God's safety, embody trust in her leadership, and prepare for effectiveness in her work.

Chapters

Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts reflects on her experiences at the Woman Evolve Conference 2024, sharing personal anecdotes and the powerful impact of being in community with women from diverse backgrounds.
  • Sarah shares her emotional journey and the significance of community.
  • She discusses the challenges of balancing personal life and ministry.
  • Sarah emphasizes the importance of belief and surrender in her life.

Shownotes Transcript

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What's up, family? I am back at the podcast, Mike. How are you feeling? What's going on in your world? I want to thank you for your patience with me as I take some time to just recover and regroup after an amazing WOMEN EVOLVE 2024. I am really grateful for

That I get to experience what conference is, that I get to experience the presence of God with women from all different walks of life. It's been transformational for me to experience God in community. And

I just, I'm over the moon. So we're going to call this episode The Other Side of Surrender because I want to unpack with you my perspective of what took place at conference and to kind of give you a replay. If you went-

then this is going to be like, you know, an opportunity to reflect and revisit some of the moments that were really special. If you didn't have a chance to go, this is like your cheat sheet. This is like, um, cliff notes before chat GPT, the girlies had cliff notes. Okay. So this is going to be the week 24 cliff notes. Okay. Um, um,

Before we get into it, I want you to know that the weather is changing in Texas. I'm still able to sit outside. Oh Lord, Jesus, Lord, help me. Let me tell you something. This week has been a very interesting week. By the time you're listening to this, I would have preached in Dallas on Sunday. It's Friday right now. I've been

I kind of have an idea of what I'm preaching about. The Lord's really been dealing with me about belief, investigating belief, how does belief grow, and why we need belief in this season of our lives. So-

When I preached at Woman Evolve, I talked about grieving and believing. And I don't know, I feel like God's still talking to me about belief. So we'll see what happens. But this week, many of you know I've gone back to school. And this week, my husband was traveling. I was at home holding things down with the kids. Monday, they were out of school for Indigenous People Day, period. And while they were out that Monday, Tuesday,

Tuesday morning, early Tuesday morning at three o'clock, Ella wakes up. She starts throwing up every hour on the hour until nine o'clock. So I had one of the older kids take Kenzie to school. Then she was feverish, lethargic for the entire day. That went in through Wednesday as well. It's the last weekend of the state fair. I had planned to let them play hooky so that they could go to the fair on Thursday. So my...

Tuesday and Wednesday kind of got hijacked with mom duty, which means I'm behind on schoolwork. I'm behind getting this podcast recorded. I'm behind on studying my notes. I had no business at the fair. Can I tell you all something? Mackenzie had a biology test and she was like, I can't go to the fair. I have a biology test.

When the student has become the master, because I had no business being at the fair with all of the work that I have to do, but I went anyway and we had a great time. But yeah, so this week has been interesting. The weather's changed. Oh, oh, oh, that's what I was going to tell you. So-

My husband came back home on late Wednesday night and Ella was just in the bed with me while she was sick. And so I opened the doors of our room because I wanted to air out the bacteria, lysol, lysoling things down, et cetera. Well, the weather has shifted from hot to cool here and mosquitoes are everywhere looking for something warm. So I have this door open and I walk out to clean different parts of the house and to get her settled. Y'all, hundreds.

of mosquitoes in our bedroom everywhere. So Monday night, no sleep. Tuesday night, rough sleep. Wednesday night, we couldn't sleep in our room. We couldn't sleep in our room. He went to his office. I went to the couch and

First of all, he left first. He was like, babe, I can't do it. And I was thinking too, like my ancestors, like my ancestors survived a lot of stuff. I'm not gonna let these mosquitoes run me out of my room. Then I started thinking about all the different diseases that mosquitoes carry. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna head out. So yeah, I'm a little tired and probably overwhelmed and maybe a little stressed, but everything's fine. We're trucking through and God's going to reveal something

and peace and presence in the midst of me being stretched thin. So I just wanted to catch you up on where I am in my life. Overall, though, I'm looking forward to my world slowing down. We had an amazing conference. I launched my book this year. We had some really hard things that we faced as a family.

earlier at the top of this year. And my husband and I are celebrating our 10-year anniversary in November. And so I just feel like I am turning the corner on what has been a year of incredible highs, some devastating lows, and hopefully just cruising until the end of the year. So I like to let you mind my business before I start minding yours, but I actually don't have a mind your business question.

But I do have mind your business instructions. Okay, so here's the thing. I love reading your letters and we get a lot of them. But I also want you to know that like I would enjoy if you would call me sometimes and leave me a voice message. Like I wanna mind your business, but I wanna hear your voice when I'm minding your business. Like, are we being serious about this? Are we laughing about like what's happening? So if you want me to mind your business, just call and leave me a message, okay? Call 214-790-7871.

214-790-7871. And like, yes, I want to mind your business, but if you want to mind mine as well, that's fine. Like, girl, how do you do X, Y, and Z? Girl, where did you get that from? Girl, I'm about to lose my mind. Tell me how you, like, just send me a message. All right. So I'm not minding your business this week. Let's get into conference. So conference started Thursday morning with the, do I want to start with the recap?

Oh, just let me give you some of the testimonials. Okay. So Jerita Tyler says, I'm still on the Holy Ghost high. I got my smile back and I have surrendered the guilt of smiling because of who I'm around. I can't sit down or shrink anymore. The Lord has done so much to get me here. I deserve...

Oh, she said, I deserve hell. But he said, I am his. I surrender to peace, my change, my joy, my healing, my strength, my Jesus. I'm so glad Jesus lifted me. I'm so glad Jesus lifted me. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Jesus lifted me.

Alice says, life-changing. I want to get clarity on decisions about my role in ministry. I left with realizing the mother wounds my daughter was experiencing and I made the decision to surrender my role as children's pastor to devote my time to helping my daughter to get to know Jesus again. Oh my goodness. Her son is also on the autism spectrum and need his Mimi home with him. Thank you. And I'm already signed up with three friends next year. Did that actually, I didn't read these in advance. Wow.

That's powerful. Okay, so we started off Monday with Priscilla Shire. And I'm going to play some of the clips from some of the highlights of conference. But we started off Sunday with Priscilla Shire. And Priscilla Shire preached this incredible message that I really felt was foundational for the conference. Should I start there? Should I start? Okay, conference started Thursday at 10 o'clock.

I did not speak the opening session, partly because I just feel like Priscilla has paved the way for so many women in ministry that it just felt like yielding that spot to pioneers, to veterans, to people who have been in the world of ministry and leading women to Jesus.

kicking it off, that just feels right to me. I don't know if it'll be like that every year, but that's just how I felt this year. And so, but before she spoke, I came out and I just kind of like welcomed everyone. And I had Dr. Anita Phillips come out and she did what we call activating the sisterhood. So you may be wondering, how do you come into a big room and not feel lonely, not feel lost in the sauce? Like one of the things that I've always asked God, because on every level, we've had this sense of community and connection at Woman Evolved.

But one of the things that I ask God is like, no matter how big this gets, please, let's not leave any woman behind. Like, I don't want any woman to come into this space and feel disconnected. And so we activated this sisterhood. Like we're all sisters in Christ or about to be sisters in Christ. And so I want you to get to know the woman beside you. So Dr. Anita runs us through this activation where like we are talking about surrender and it was beautiful. So we did that. Priscilla Shire preaches a powerful message

for those who are new to the faith, a reminder for those who have been in the faith that we have a responsibility to still be standing in the midst of all of the chaos that's happening in the world, that we're still going to be anchored and rooted in our faith and belief in who Jesus is. And we will not be shaken by the times and the culture of the world. But do you know, I think the most powerful part of her message was this. So John says...

Remain in infancy and remain through adolescence. And if you just will give me a moment here, sisters, to open up a little parenthesis. I just feel this so strongly that if you are a young woman who is in the room, I'm talking to you. If you're 25, 21, 17, 16, 13 years old,

your cousins and your aunties and your mama and them made you come this weekend and you're trying to figure out why you're sitting in this big old room.

all of these women, you don't actually know what it is that the Lord has brought you here for. Can I just tell you, young sisters, that there's no way the Lord would entrust this weekend to you in this season of your life if he wasn't preparing you in advance to be his mouthpiece and to be his beacon of light and to be a reflection of his grace and glory in your generation. Amen.

Are you here, young women? Are you here? If you are, stand to your feet. Teenager, young 20s in this room, stand up where you are. Stay right there. Listen to me. Listen to your auntie Priscilla. Stay. Listen to me. You were made for this. You were made for this. God has assigned you to this.

Every high school campus corridor you walk down, every college campus class you are in, every social media platform you have been given, every part of dynamic that the Lord has entrusted to you, it is because you were made for this. The spirit of the living God is going to fall afresh on you so that everywhere you go and everything and everyone in your sphere of influence,

when you touch every word that comes out of your mouth is going to be dripping with power, with authority, with clarity, and you will be the truth teller in the midst of a lost and dying generation that needs to know that Jesus Christ is still Lord and that he is worth serving. And just in case you ever feel alone, just in case, and you will, you're the Elijah standing on

Mount Carmel, and you're all by yourself and you feel like nobody else is with you, I want you to remember this day right here that there's a whole host of aunties that have got your back. In Jesus' name. In Jesus' name. I'm not even sure. Actually, she may have realized that we were having Girl Evolve at the same time, but I'm not sure that she realized that the girls were in the room. And so I really love this moment of intergenerational ministry and then really just

edifying and pouring into these young girls because their identities are so subjective right now as they are amongst their peers and engaging in the culture and at school and having all of these different things projected onto them. I just felt like that was really powerful.

So after that, we had these surrender moments in which we had surrender from different angles and perspective, different age groups, different topics of what we have to surrender. So it's like surrendering your will, surrendering your purpose, surrendering your will, your purpose, something else. Oh, it escapes me, but surrendering your name, right?

And Hosanna Wong did this beautiful spoken word piece that I feel like, um, I'd heard her and it's on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, um, Oh,

What is... I have a new name, I think it's called. I should have... I'm not a professional today, guys. I had a long week. But not... Am I a professional? No, I am most of the time, but not today. But anyways, one of the most powerful parts of the poem was having women stand up, or the spoken word, having women stand up as they acknowledge a new name that they were going to be identified. It was so powerful in the room. And I think it's so powerful in the room

And I feel like it was one of the highlights. Also, Dr. Cynthia James, who is no stranger to the Potter's House family, certainly no stranger to those who understand the significant impact that she has made in ministry as a whole, but certainly for women in ministry, she is

so powerful. She was one of the highlights as well. Everyone was a highlight. I don't want to, oh Lord, please don't. Everyone was a highlight. But when I was receiving feedback, those were some of the moments that really stood out to me. So then we had a lunch break. We came back and after the lunch break, we had a athletic Grow With Jo moment. If y'all don't know Grow With Jo and you're thinking to yourself, I need to get active, but

I'm not ready to be jumping on boxes. I'm not ready to do the most. You don't have to do all or nothing. Grow With Jo has workouts that are literally for every age. So if you think to yourself, I'm too fit and I do want to jump on boxes. And if I'm not jumping on boxes, then I'm not doing anything at all. I dare you to do a Grow With Jo. Homegirl gets us together. And so it was important to me that as we have Woman Evolved, that we're like talking to

to women about every aspect of womanhood. And so Girl With a Joke came out and she ran us through a quick little routine. And then we did some finance talk with the son of Dugga, who I didn't realize was from Arlington, and Tiffany Aliche, the budgetnista came out. And she also gave some tips. Let me see if I can grab just like a moment from each of those for you to listen to. Yeah.

So, these are your priorities in order. Your needs come first. We know what our needs are. If you don't take care of your needs, you will not be healthy. This is food, shelter, clothing to be covered, not to be cute, water, transportation, medication. These are your needs. They come first. So, before you spend any money, is this a need?

Yes? Okay, we got it then. Then we ask ourselves, is this a love? A love is something that moves you, that brings you lasting joy. Meaning a year from now, will this still bring you joy? So if a year from now, like, I might ask myself this dress, this fabulous dress. A year from now, I'm going to be like, you still slay, girl, and I'm probably still going to wear this dress.

Right? So to me, this might be a love. Travel for me. A year from now, my trip to Greece is still going to bring me joy. So that's a love. Right? Then we go over to our likes.

Likes are not nearly as important. This is a joy that brings you joy for about six months or so. You know, it might be a good meal. You know, maybe it's a hairstyle you really wanted. Six months later, you probably have forgotten about it. And then your wants. Wants are instant gratification. I bought some lip gloss yesterday, lost it today. Now, here's the thing.

Most of us get our needs or you wouldn't be here, but we skip over our loves and spend way too much money on our likes and wants. And then we're not prioritizing our spending. Many times you could afford that vacation, but you stay in Target.

No judgment, because I love me some Tarjay, right? And so when you really added up your likes and wants, you might be able to get your budget to say yes to the things you love. So number one way to get that budget we created to say yes is to what? Prioritize.

So at this point, if you're in the room, you're probably thinking to yourself, okay, this is going to be great. My faith is going to be built. I'm going to move my body. I'm going to work on my finances. Man, this is going to be very... I'm moving forward. I'm moving in the direction of my purpose. And then the assassin, Dr. Anita Phillips comes out. And Dr. Anita Phillips does...

group therapy with us. When she and I were talking about the different topics that we could talk about for group therapy, I don't know why the concept of mother wounds just came to the surface. And so, you know, we were kind of going back and forth about like, what are we going to do here?

And then at a certain point, you just know like Dr. Anita is brilliant. So like I am not contributing anything to this brilliance. I'm going to just back up and just see what happens. And let me tell you, it hit the fan. When I tell you that like the girlies who came in think to themselves, I don't have mother wounds or like this one isn't going to be for me.

She mopped the, well, I won't say she mopped the floor with us because we actually got mopped the floor with, but she broke it down for us in a way that left no woman feeling isolated in this idea of having a mother wound, but also feeling empowered in our ability to move.

from those mother wounds. And I feel like this was really important because there are a lot of conversations about like daddy wounds and the shortcomings of men as it relates to fatherhood. But the mother-daughter dynamic is very interesting. You can have the healthiest mother and there still may be some things about womanhood that you have

inherited or taken on as truth that doesn't necessarily align with what God has for you or prohibits you from standing in the identity that Jesus has for you. And so intertwining that identity is something that we all must face. Another thing is like, then we have mother wounds where

mother didn't believe you about something. Your mother's been narcissistic in some ways. And so they're just all different expressions of motherhood. And I felt like by the time she was finished, she had covered all of those, but then also covered us in a way that allowed us to really experience deep healing. One of the most powerful moments of conference, if you ask me, is

is like, so after Dr. Anita finished her session, it went right into our evening session. And the evening session is where I was going to speak. And at first we were running, I think time was running a little over. And so we were like, we're not going to take a break. We'll just go right into it. And so Dr. Anita Phillips, she closes her session. And let me tell you something. She closed that session down. I got it from my mama. If you know, you know, if you don't know, you need to go look at the clips.

So she closes it down. And then part of the opener for the opening session was I Surrender All. And we had this Trinity Houston, who's 17 years old. She sang I Surrender. No, we had Eugene on the violin and she's playing the violin. I Surrender All on the violin. And then Trinity Houston comes out and she's 17 and she sings I Surrender All. And

And then Lady Brenda, who is from West Virginia, I've known her since I was literally a little girl. She comes out and she sings, I Surrender All. And in that moment, we see these three different expressions of surrender. And then I was watching from the dugout. I was out in this crowd in a way that no one could really like see.

tell that I was there. And I just saw these mothers and daughters hanging on to one another, like, oh my gosh, I get emotional right now thinking about it. But just seeing these mothers and daughters hang on to one another as they're surrendering their wounds, as they're deciding to build trust. I think that that's part of the reason why, I think it was Gayle

No, Alice Gaines. Her name's Alice Gaines, whose testimony I read earlier about her surrendering her role as children's pastor to devote time to her daughter really moved me because I don't know, man, what is our ministry for not getting it right at home? And there are moments where we have to surrender everything.

what may make us look effective in, you know, certain spaces to really take care of those who God entrusted us with. I actually want you guys to hear the I Surrender All beginning with Eugene and Trinity and Lady Brenda. I surrender all. I surrender, surrender.

to thee bless my soul yes I surrender all surrender I surrender all to thee

Life can lead us to places just like this. Dry, barren, and void of hope.

This was never part of your plan, but you're here, thrown off course and trying to find the road out. I promised myself it would be different with me, that I'd be the one to break the cycle. But every childhood trauma has echoed into my present. I picked up where my mother left off. Now I'm just numb to everything.

that once brought joy. She promised things would be different with us. It was always me and my mom against the world. But now, it's so scary to be so close and yet so far apart at the same time. Maybe this bond had an expiration date. And now, rejection is my new normal. I was the smartest woman in the room. I carried this company to success.

You could step in my office and see the plans were working. But the heaviest thing I was actually carrying was a facade. Fake smiles, happy family photos. It was all just hiding my failing marriage. The one thing I could not find a fix for. They prayed over me so many times that it all started to sound like empty white noise.

You want to dream a woman of hope? Just tell her she's barren. That her womb will never hold life inside of it. That her body is insufficient to carry a dream. Sometimes surrender can feel like walking into a wilderness you cannot control. And through the wind, you hear his voice. But you can't see what's on the other side.

But if you can begin to open your hand and just let go, surrender becomes a beautiful exchange. God, what's on the other side of failed expectations and ideals that fell short? What's on the other side of broken dreams and diminished beliefs?

What's on the other side of generational wounds and emotional trauma? Can you begin to let it go? I hear the sound of surrender rising. God exchanges sorrow for joy and worry for peace.

He'll exchange fear for courage and strife for rest. He'll exchange weakness for his strength and trouble for healing. He'll exchange shame for mercy and sin for grace.

God, begin to show my sister what's on the other side of surrender. I hear the voice of release growing in this place. Press your way through. The road to victory is right before you. All you have to do is open your hand. Oh, to be my blessed son. Oh, to be my blessed son.

Because on the other side of surrender is something you have never seen. Twas a moment that I will not soon forget. And one that I just praise the beginning of beautiful life.

new beginnings for the women who were in this space. I won't recap Thursday night because you guys already heard my message if you've listened to the podcast. Friday morning we started and Irene Rollins was the opener or the opening session for Friday at Woman Evolve. And then at Girl Evolve, I went over there and Elena Franklin was the opener for Girl Evolve. And so I was with the

the girls, she and I kind of had like a tag team moment. She spoke... Well, first of all, Chandler Moore went over there. They did worship. Then Alina shared her powerful story. And then I got up and I got to engage with the girls. And so I was not there for Irene Rollins. I had to listen to it later. And when I listened to Irene, one of the things that stood out to me was...

How brave and courageous she was in telling her story, sure, but also how much permission she gave to the other women in the room. So we've had Irene on the podcast and some of you may already be familiar with her story, but I think one of the most moving aspects...

of her sharing her story at Womany Evolve is, and my husband had explained it to me. He was like, oh my gosh, Irene was absolutely amazing. He said the most powerful part was towards the end as she was praying with the women. It's fragile, it's vulnerable. I know from telling my story and I haven't had to tell my story in the way that I did early on in a long time. But yeah,

It's like you're standing somewhere naked and you're saying like, this is how low I've been. This is how hard it was. This is how raw it is. And you're trusting this is a safe space. You're trusting that no one's judging you, but you also don't fully know. But obedience to God says we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. And so here's my testimony. Lord, help me to

help someone else overcome what I have overcome. But anyway, so she was saying her prayer and my husband talked about how her husband went up there and just kind of embraced her, but then began to prophesy over the women. And I felt like that was too powerful not to share with you. So let's listen in. Come on, can we give God some praise in this place? Come on, what the enemy went for bad? For your good.

He's about to turn your future. He's about to turn. Somebody shout, my best days are ahead of me and my worst days are behind me. Devil, you should have took me out last week. Look what...

What the Lord has done! God ain't doing me yet! There's more in store! Come on somebody! Your ladder is gonna be greater than your past! No weapon that is formed against you is gonna prosper! Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world! Go ahead and touch five people and tell them you ain't seen nothing!

Part of the reason why I feel like that moment was really beautiful for us to see as well is I feel like, and this could just be me, and this is just an opinion, but I feel like

When we talk about relationships that oftentimes we are encouraging women to be like ride or dies, to stay through whatever. And the onus is on us to be like virtuous and pure and to never make any mistakes. And it can be challenging to recognize that like, I'm a person too. I'm healing too. I'm

facing my trauma and coping with my trauma at the same time too. And I think that we're wired to think that there's no grace for us, but we are supposed to give as much grace as possible to those who we are in relationship with. And I think that there was something really beautiful about being able to witness this woman who has had to identify some of her own struggles and to overcome them and

done some things that she's not necessarily proud of, but was willing to be brave enough to do the work, still being loved and embraced for who she is. And so I felt like that was beautiful. And I had, like I said, I had to watch this on video. And so there was like this little break in between Irene Rollins and then the panel that was coming up next. And so I was able to get from Girl Evolve over so that I could experience the panel. The body panel, my heart,

has never palpitated in the way that it palpitated. The way that my heart was set up, and you may be wondering why, it's just a body panel, baby. I be coming up with these ideas, but when it's time to live in them, I just be like, Lord, keep us near the cross. And let me tell you, I think one, it's a little awkward for me in general. They was talking about relations. Relations.

They was talking about relations. They was talking about a lot of things, talking about hormones. They were talking about diet, nutrition, scalp care, but they was talking about relations. And Dr. Anita, right now I'm going to fight her to this day about her issues

egging on the conversation about relations. I'm going to fight her to this day. When I tell you, Angel, who we've had on the podcast, I knew what I was signing up for. I just have forgot what I was signing up for. Have you ever just like forgot? Yes, I have forgot. But let me tell you something. I left feeling empowered and with some tools. I believe God did something in that body panel session because I...

The stuttering is obnoxious, but let me tell you something. Empowered was she, empowered am me, empowered am I. So that was the body panel. We went to lunch.

We did the pajama panel. Pajama. Oh my gosh. Crystal Renee Hazlett, my God mom, Pastor Mary C. Wright, Kayla Wanakee. Kayla. Oh my gosh. If you guys have never been to a Woman Evolved event, Kayla Wanakee, she's the sauce. Dr. Anita is the sauce. Kayla Wanakee is the sauce. PT is the sauce. The worship is the sauce. There's so many sauces.

at a Woman Evolve event that is hard to tell you, like, what is the one thing that tips everything over the edge? It's the presence of God, of course. It's Jesus. Let me be clear on that. But I think that there are all these different components that just make it feel...

this safe space that you can really be authentic. And Kayla is one of them. So anyways, my mother came Thursday night when I had my session, but she tripped over a cord backstage and rolled her knees. So she was immobile on Friday. She wasn't able to come. And so Kayla Wannake joined the panel. Noelle Magwood and...

And that chick Angel who told me I was dressed like the bride of Christ. And that was some funny business right there. But there was something that Crystal Renee Hazlett said that really stood out in my mind about sharing her journey as a Christian. And I felt like it was just another thing that made me feel like, I hope that God will allow me to continue to create spaces like this where...

No matter what stage you are on your journey, whether you're like just figuring things out or you have been in the faith for a long time, like you're going to be safe here. And if you are one of those people who are like, you know, I'm trying to be honest about where I am while also discovering more about who Jesus is and I'm sharing it. But sometimes I can feel discouraged. I believe that what Crystal shares is going to make you feel less alone.

For me, like you, someone spoke over me on Wednesday when I landed. And she said, protect your stuff. It's not being stingy. And I want to say that to you because whatever God has given you, there are certain things you have to protect. And like you, it's like, do you want me or are you here for me or you want what I have? And there were so many times where I had to question friendships and

And who was really in my life as I continued to elevate. And where I am now, I've been more and more vocal about my walk with Christ. And I'll say there have been times where I wanted to just pull back. Because we can be some of the most judgmental people. And I'm like, I know what I believe, but I don't want to talk about it anymore. Because these people are so mean. And I ain't got no more shirts. When you...

When you reached out for me to be on your Power Moves tour, I too thought it was a scam. I was like, Sarah reached out to me? I was like, is this really her page? I had to go and double check and triple check. And then that night you asked me to be a part of this. And I was like, God, what are you doing?

What do I have to say and how do you want me to do it? Because I know where I am and I try to be transparent about where I am in my walk to let people know that we all have flaws. And in that transparency, it backfires and it hurts. But I want to thank you for... There's some tissue.

Crystal, can I just say, like this speaks to your heart. I didn't know you personally, but so many of my very close friends work with you and all they talk about is how beautiful your heart is, how genuine you are, how humble you are. So it is beautiful to see how despite what anybody else sees,

what God sees in you and how he's elevating you and he's taking you into places that maybe you don't even believe you belong, but baby, you are more than worthy. God sees you, Crystal. Thank you for allowing me to share this space with you. And you just being who you are and being transparent has allowed me to know that it's okay. It's okay. And I appreciate you so much. Thank you.

- Ugh, all y'all wanna do is cry. - Listen, I ain't got no more shirts. I don't have no more shirts, so y'all better figure it out. - It's so ghetto. Just sit down, receive the word. All y'all wanna do is cry. - We in the project. - It is. The problem is when you are sharing your faith, you're sharing what you know about God,

while also realizing that God's going to still convict you and change you. Part of the reason why you don't want to say anything is because you realize you're still growing, but people hold you to who you are in one moment, not realizing that God is still changing you. And I think to your point, you know, one of the things that I asked God is that he would help me to create an environment where the girls who just want to know God

and figure it out and walk it out with him, feel safe enough to say, I may not be perfect, but I am hungry so that he could meet them in the space of their hunger. And to me, I feel like that's what Woman Evolve is. Like, I don't need you to come in here and be perfect. You don't have to know all the

the songs and know all the scriptures, but if you have a heart to experience who God is, like I got a space for you at Woman Evolve. I think that's the best service that we can give one another is to create space for people to be wherever they are on their journey, recognizing that wherever they are is a place where God can meet them. The Bible says you can make your bed in hell and I'll still come find you. Come on.

And we find people in the bars or people going through breakups or people who are sailing their journey and act like they're so untouchable, yet they look more like God than we do because at least they can be honest about where they are instead of pretending that because we know a few scriptures that we know everything.

The mystery of God is something we're all still unpacking. And so I'm privileged to have you here, honored. The more transparent, authentic, imperfect, growing, developing. I didn't need you to come here and be somebody you're not. I need you to come here and be all of who you are because you look like the people who are in the room. Thank you.

So Kayla ends up closing out the pajama panel. It's beautiful. That chick Angel is hilarious. It's like the perfect girl time. And we did something a little different. Most of the time we would just have the pajama panel and then that would be the end. But we decided to have still a service and a prayer service afterwards. So think like...

pajama in prayer, pajama in worship, pajama and just connection and sisterhood together. So, you know, Pastor Show Brady comes through and Tasha, Tasha, Tasha, Tasha led worship that night, demolishes us, like just takes us and sets us right at the feet of Jesus and then was like, here, you deal with them. Pastor Show Brady comes out and we already know like

secure yourself. She's about to go in. So Pastor Cheryl keeps telling us there's a wrecking ball coming. There's a wrecking ball coming. There's a wrecking ball coming. And I think that the average person doesn't realize what the wrecking ball is going to be. But I know what she's talking about because moments before...

The evening session began. I went to the back and I was meeting some of our friends who were there, some of my colleagues who were in attendance, just a quick little hug during the break. And then I see Pastor T. Renee Glenn and I turned to her and I'm like, I feel like I should bow. You know what I mean? Like, I just have so much respect and honor for the anointing on her life.

And I'm just like, thank you so much for being here. I'm so grateful. Like we're ready. Like just, I'm so honored. And you know, she's like to the glory of God. Like she, but she's locked in. She's in this zone. So when Pastor Cheryl keeps saying,

A wrecking ball is coming. A wrecking ball is coming. I know that she's talking about Pastor T. Renee Glenn. I don't know if anybody else knew, but I knew. Let me tell you, when I finished just like honoring her backstage and just thanking her and just showing my gratitude, I turned to my assistant, Samantha, and I was like, she about to mop the floor with us.

She was already in the Holy Ghost. Like before prayer had even begun, before worship had already even begun, she was in the Holy Ghost. I knew that we was fitting to be demolished, fitting to be demolished. And demolished we were. Baby, when she came out there,

Holiness is right. Deliverance is at hand. Get your life together and bow before the King. Stand up to it. Build your spirit. Be edified. She didn't, I mean, she kind of said these things, but this is what happened in the room. Let me tell you something. What I loved about the conference this year is that I felt like it touched on every single area from...

From, you know, maybe you're... I'll use like genre. No, I'll use like restaurant. Like maybe you like Italian food. Maybe you like Mexican food. Maybe you just like good old American food. Maybe you like Thai cuisine. Maybe you are a butter chicken queen. Let me tell you something. By the time conference got finished...

There was something in there for literally every single person, no matter what expression of Jesus moves you the most, there was an opportunity for you to tap into it, but there was also an opportunity for you to dabble in some other things. And let me tell you something, when we got finished dabbling in that old school anointing, I wanted to be a church mother. I don't even know if there is a clip that can do the prayer service justice, but let's just see what we can find.

This is the last thing the Lord said to release in prayer. He said, Renee, I want you to release strength for the rest of the journey. All over this room, lift your hands and receive strength for the rest of the journey. You will leave here going somewhere. No, you got to hear that in the spirit realm. I don't care how old you are. I don't care how young you are. The Lord said to release strength.

for the rest of the journey. Father, I thank you that you have considered us and that your strength will be made perfect. I feel God still moving in this room. Just lay your hand on your sister's shoulder and say God has given you strength for the rest of the journey. Come on, don't let her go too soon.

As a matter of fact, put your arms around her and tell her God has given you strength for the rest of the journey. Come on, hold her. Hold her. In the name of Jesus, we intercede and we release strength. In the name of Jesus.

Come on, hold her, hold her, hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. Hold her, hold her. hold

Yes, Jesus loves me. Come on, that's the last song I was supposed to sing. Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, come on babies. He said it will be an anointing right there.

Come on, I need everybody in the room. I know it seems elementary, but God said, oh, yeah. Jesus, sing it. Love's me. Everybody in the room. Oh, yeah. Jesus loves me.

I will cover you from here on out. Jesus loves me. I need everybody to sing it. Some of y'all scared because there's a breakers anointing in that song. Oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus. Jesus.

Put your hand on your chest and say, yes, he does. The Lord, he does. He loves you, Tasha. You do a lot. You do a lot. You go a lot, but let this be a moment.

that God grabs you and remind you who he is to you in this moment. Oh yeah. Strength for the rest of the journey, daughter. His promises still remain. His promises still remain. You're doing a lot, but you haven't seen the hand of God move in your life. Oh my God.

May your heart be refreshed. Amen.

May your heart be strong. May your heart feel the hand of God. May your heart, everybody in the room, I feel the hand of God moving through this freedom, this stadium. I feel the hand of God. Let him touch you. Let him touch you. I don't care security, media, everybody. Let him touch you. Let him touch you. Let him touch you. He loves you. He loves you.

So...

Yeah. Like we, I was, I was so grateful and I shared this. I don't know if I actually put this when I posted, but after she got finished praying, she came out and she was just like praying with people one-on-one directly. And I was just kind of watching as she went from person to person to person. And then when she finished, you know, her team was,

beginning to move her back to the back where she could just kind of rest and recover. And I'll be honest, like when I was seeing her pray with other people, I was like, I hope she comes over here. I hope she comes over here because I want to receive it.

And then when I saw she was heading back, there was a part of me that was like, you know, that's fine. Maybe it's not my season. But then I was like, girl, you better go get your blessing. So I went and stood in front of her and she just, man, I'm just, she said a lot of things to me that only God knew that I was.

Worried about, praying about. I think that even now as I'm in this season and I'm thinking about those words, I needed this reminder of some of the things she said. So that was a blessing. You guys heard the body panel from Saturday. PT shut it down as he always does, but showing us that surrender makes us a bridge.

And that we have to really tap into abundance in order, an abundance mentality in order to really understand the fullness of surrender. I closed it out and I have never closed out conference in this way before, but God gave me confidence.

And sorry about my message, but God gave me a message about Martha and Mary and Jesus for Thursday night. And then it just coincided so beautifully with the close of the conference when you read down later in the chapter how Martha has to lock in with Jesus in order to then...

experience this miracle to experience breakthrough. And it felt like what God wanted me to share with the women. And I hope that it really blessed them. So Womany Evolved, that's the whole shebang that is, I mean, a glimpse of it. And if you guys want to see all of the things that happened, you can get it on Womany Evolved TV, but that's like the cliff notes of what took place

And now we are on the other side of surrender, trying to figure out what happens after we surrender. What are some of our expectations be after experiencing breakthrough at conference? And I want you to understand that part of what you receive in that environment is the opportunity for new belief, opportunity for a new attitude, opportunity for

repentance, which is like literally to think again, to think in a different way.

to be renewed in your thought life. And if we aren't careful, like scripture tells us that the seeds that we receive in those moments can be taken away from us, but we have to be willing to be good ground. How then do we become good ground? It's not just receiving what happens in those moments, but it's allowing it to become nutrients for your life, right? So like when we're eating food,

We're not just eating and disposing. Our body is extracting the nutrients from what we consume, and it's making our bodies healthier when we make healthy choices. And Woman Evolve, I truly believe, was a healthy choice to come to be in the atmosphere, to experience the presence of God.

So addressing topics and mentalities that maybe you haven't experienced with God, or maybe it was just confirmation for you, but now extracting the nutrients from what you have received and allowing it to be a part of the way that you function is the next step. And so I would say that if you're on the other side of surrender, that part of your

responsibility is saying like, wow, that was good. That was a tasty meal. Oh my goodness. From the bread to the appetizers to the entree and the dessert. Oh my goodness. It was so tasty. Now I have to do the work of digesting it and allowing it to be a part of how I function. Don't be overwhelmed. Maybe there are so many things you want to enact at once. I want you to just make a list

of the things that you felt like God was challenging in your spirit, in your behavior, in your thought life, to make that list and then to tackle it one by one. What does this look like? Okay, so I'll tell you from me, I'll share my business, right? So Pastor T. Renee Glenn, one of the things she told me and I wrote it down, but I haven't had to use it because I've kind of been...

And I knew what that meant because it's really weird when God allows you to have influence, when God draws people to you.

And especially when you're like me, if you're the kind of person like I am, where I feel like I thrive the most behind the scenes, I feel like I just feel like I've got...

My default setting is I've got nothing to say. So I think that for me being in a position where God's granted me influence to be his vessel makes me feel a lot of vulnerability. I know it's not my words, it's his words, and I can trust his words to show up if I'm willing to surrender my insecurities, my pride, my ego, and trust that. But being...

that level of vulnerability, it feels like it makes you a target. And like, if I messed up and mind you, I got a lot of other reasons to be like, if I mess up, then this, then that, and then being loved feels unsafe. Right. Um,

just because I, you know, I guess cancel culture and having experienced rejection after choices that I've made, it just makes me feel, it just feels unsafe. Like, can I really count on this love? Can I really trust this? Do I shouldn't even need it at the end of the day? As long as I got Jesus, as long as I got King Jesus, I'm going to be fine. And then I also don't want to miss the way that Jesus loves on me through people. And so I

all of these thoughts, right? Welcome to my overthinking. But when Pastor Glenn told me that you're safe here, I know that God is challenging me to really rest in this season of my life, to really trust Him and to embody that trust in the way that I speak and to embody that trust in the way that I lead. Sometimes I feel like,

not so much with Woman Evolve, but I think that as I'm entering into new spaces, that I don't always trust

that I can add value to this new space. Like maybe the way that I do it with Woman Evolve is so quirky, so unique, so unique to this environment that it won't work anywhere else. And I really feel like God is telling me to like remove the limits and trust. And yeah, so part of my work in taking what I received from conference is

letting myself go in, you know, a particular area to let myself go, to trust God, to trust the safety that I have in God and to really just depend on him and lean in on him. And yeah, so yeah,

What does that trust look like in action? I mean, it's releasing the fullness of my ideas and my creativity. It's not shrinking. It's not acting like something is optional. It's fully owning the moment that God has placed in front of me and bringing all of myself to it. Realizing, like, I think I tend to lean to this idea like, yeah, what it, you know, and I'll be prepared for it to fall apart and I'll be prepared for correction and

But I feel like part of my growth opportunity is I also be prepared for it to be very effective, for it to be necessary and powerful. I'm always prepared to fail, but I'm learning to prepare when you're trusting God and you surrender that you've got to prepare for effectiveness as well, because everything that God did was effective.

It may have not been success in the way that the culture defines success, but it was effective at establishing his plan and his will for the earth. I'm even thinking about him selecting someone like David, like King, like David was going to be effective as King, even if from the outside looking in, it didn't look like he would be successful. And as you continue to just

trust God, then you see that God's effectiveness is your success. Oh, that's a word for me. Somebody sent me this soundbite. God's effectiveness is your success. When God can be effective in you and through you, that is your success. And Women Evolve is

It felt effective at what God wanted to accomplish in the three days that we were together. And I need to create space for God to be effective in other areas as well. So I'm putting it to work. I'm releasing the fullness of who I am. I'm diving in.

probably after I get a good night's rest so that I can properly hold my breath and do what needs to be done. So what is it for you? What does activating surrender look like? You've laid it all down. And now how do you move with this lighter weight?

How do you move without this heaviness of fear, this heaviness and anxiety? How do you move now that you have trust in your wings? That's the question you have to answer. And I'm excited that we have a guide for you. We have a digital guide that's going to help you on your surrender journey that I cannot wait for you to experience. I guess we're going to link this in the show notes. Okay.

I'll probably have to record something that tells you where you can get it, or maybe Kayla, maybe someone can chime in. But we have on the other side of surrender, just a digital guide to help you on your surrender process and journey that I believe is going to serve you well. I want to thank you for journeying with me here on the Woman Evolved podcast. Thank you for trusting me, for loving on me, for allowing me space to just be a human and

And I pray that there are moments where you see yourself

I also pray that there are moments where you see me and when you see me that you're praying for me. But what I pray more than anything is that you see Jesus. And if you don't see Jesus in me, look somewhere else. You know what I mean? I want you to get Jesus more than you get me because me, I'm raggedy. I'm a work in progress. He's

He's showing me and I'm trying to show you what God is showing me. But if you don't see Jesus in me, I want you to get Jesus. And so I respect if it's not coming from me. But if you see glimpses of Jesus, glimpses of you and glimpses of me, then why not ride this thing out with me and keep growing and evolving until...

the wheels fall off. By the way, we wrote a song for conference. It's called Another Surrender, which speaks to this reality that surrender is a process. It happens over and over and over again. And

And I want you to check it out. It comes out this Friday, October 25th, wherever you get your songs from, wherever you get your music from. I want you to check out Another Surrender because I believe that it's going to bless you tremendously. And I want to pray for all of us who are on this beautiful journey of surrendering over and over again. Lord, we release our plans, our will, our expectations.

our fear, our doubt, our pride, our ego. And we say yes. We say yes to growth. We say yes to conviction. We say yes to obedience. We say yes to the things that scare us.

We say yes to the things that excite us and scare us. I thank you, God, for your faithfulness, for your patience, for your loving kindness towards us as we take our time to lay things down. We sense, though, that the time is now for us to stop playing, for us to stand fully flat footed.

And the knowledge of who you are and the knowledge of what you can do in the lives of those who surrender to you. So God, I ask that you would continue to highlight things that we're holding on to that you want us to release.

that you would give us the strength to walk in obedience and courage and to do it boldly in a way that inspires others to do the same. I thank you, God, for constantly completing this work, finishing this work that you began in us. May we be partners in that work. May we be willing vessels who surrender to the process of that work to the extent that when it's all said and done, that your glory will be revealed. Amen.

that our hearts would be transformed and that we would raise up a standard for a generation of women who learned the beauty of surrender. In Jesus' name I pray. I'll be back next week with interviews and more of the podcast that you've learned to love. Evolve.