Reset Your Fears w/ Miss Diddy
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Can't bless who you pretend to be or who you compare yourself to he can only bless you and the lane that was created for you You don't need no edge entity you need boundaries What? I don't need your likes I don't need your validation All I need is a God fighting for me that says all things Child

You know what's kind of interesting about faith and fears?

Fear doesn't mind popping up unannounced. And depending on the intensity of the fear, faith seems to need some convincing to show up to the cookout. Like fear is here. Fear was on time. Fear bought potato salad and hot dog buns and soda. But faith is late. I want you to know that your girl be needing faith. OK, and faith needs a whole invitation not just to come to the cookout, but really to go head to head with your fears.

When fear shows up, it often makes us feel like we're running on fumes, that we're empty, that we don't have what it takes. But when faith stands up, it helps us to realize whether or not that fear was even worth having in the first place. In this episode, I'm talking to the culture shifter, the one and the only,

Miss Diddy about resetting our fears and all of the things she has allowed faith to push her towards. This is a conversation that is vulnerable, real, honest, raw, and authentic. And I cannot wait for you, your fears, and your faith to have a party with us. You will not leave the same. Hi.

Hi, how are you, queen? I'm doing great, thank you. I know so much about you from other people, but I've never had an opportunity to actually speak with you. I know. I know. I have my own personal love fest about you in my life. So this is like a moment for me that's very important. And I want you to know that it's very, very important. Really? Okay, well, then this is pretty good. Oh my gosh, beyond, beyond.

I'm so excited. Like I said, I know so much about the work that you do, the people that you're connected to just from the outside looking in. And I know that it's going to be something that's going to be so helpful and inspiring for the women who listen to the podcast. But I just know even in our exchange that it's going to be helpful for me. You know, all this month we're like talking about resetting because, you know, you get into the middle of the year and it's like, who am I?

Why am I? What did I like? Does anything matter anymore? So I'm just wondering, like, what are you resetting at this point in the year for you? You know, it's so very interesting you say that because I've said this probably just a couple of times. But, you know, during the pandemic, everyone had their own realizations. Right. They had these moments of.

What everything, like you said, what does it all mean? What is it all for? Right. What is going on? We're reconnecting with these people, this and this. And for me, it wasn't that. For me, it was a time to reconnect with myself. And that was a part of the resetting. And it was tough because it's,

I work at a mile a minute quickly. I multitask like a crazy person. You know, my company does 50, 60 events a year. I'm here, I'm there. And I was for the first time able to understand why it was important to reset because I didn't even realize that, you know, when you work with a lot of people, you almost, you give so much of yourself out.

And I wasn't being replenished. You know, of course, I'm in my word. I can worship. I can quit getting the presence of God, me and him, we together for a lifetime and after. But I wasn't being replenished. So the resetting is really important to discuss because it saved my life. Wow. And I think it saved my mind, my soul, my spirit, because I didn't know I needed it. You know, and I was running off of fumes. And I said, wait a minute.

Where are my boundaries? What are those? I didn't even know that I could have them. You know, no one said, no, you build boundaries. You stay with them and you commit to them. I didn't even know I could have boundaries. That was a part of my resetting. A lot of relationships changed around that family relationship. So the way I'm doing it is getting to be closer with myself.

Okay. Yeah. I have two questions to ask you and I don't know which one I want to start with, but let's take it slow. Who do you become when you don't reset? Like, who were you? Who was that girl? What inspired her? What moved her? What was she afraid of? Like, I want to lay a framework for who you were before the reset. The girl before the reset.

you know, when people say we're running off of fumes, I think I was almost running off of trauma, you know, and, and, and the things that, um, kind of happened in life and growing up and childhood and, um, you know, parental issues and life and, you know, kind of figuring that out as an inner city girl and building everything brick by brick. So that person to me prior to the reset was definitely, um,

quick to respond. I think I've grown past that, which took me a very long time. I was super hot headed and a piece of it I needed to be because of the work that I do. Right. But then I learned how to lead a little more through grace. Right. And that person also, too, I think was a lot more angry. OK. You know, anger shows up differently. People think it's just like

this explosive behavior, right? I think it's just sometimes we sit in it when we don't deal with the trauma. We don't deal with the shortcomings or the disappointments because the disappointments is where it really like, that's when it becomes like, how do I resolve this disappointment that happens? And so if I had to be completely vulnerable and completely honest is those were some of the characteristics I think that girl was.

You said running off of trauma, which right before we went to press record after positive sirens gone by.

Okay. Right before we were clicking record, you know, we're talking about resetting your fears. And I came out with like everything for the month and then every week's emphasis a few months ago. And I'm like, what was that thing? I don't want people to reset their fears. Like this doesn't have the potency. But when you said running off of trauma, it was like confirmation that it is exactly the theme that this week needs to have. Because when you're running off of trauma, what you're afraid of,

may not exist when you realize that I've really healed beyond that point. I'm running from an old fear or a fear that never manifested. A hundred percent. And we have to understand that the spirit of fear is its own thing. So like the spirit of fear actually fears us, but because it's the spirit of fear, we think we have to take on fear, right?

And fear is really not just understanding what's happening around you and the unknown being really unfamiliar. So I think if we under, if we get to a place where knowing that the unknown is still okay. Yeah. Right. Because as long as we're in the master's hands and we're, we're, we're following, which I learned, um, of course from being under, uh, studying under your husband for so long in the beginning days of his, um,

his pastoring is that we have to follow God's dream for our lives. And as long as we're, you know, that's something he said probably 10 years ago to us, you know, and it stayed with me because I, I, I have to navigate my whole life based around that. Yeah. So the unknown is actually okay. We haven't been there before. So we have to,

It's mental. You got to change how you're looking at fear or what that looks like and know that fear actually fears us. So we're actually in, we're more powerful, more powerful than it. We just have to tell ourselves as quickly as we can tell ourselves we are afraid of something or we think we're afraid of something is as quickly as we can tell ourselves we're not afraid of that. Okay. So, you know, I got to ask you, what were you afraid of? Probably failing. Yeah. Um, because, um,

I work so hard and I live a realized life in a life like a dream life, but it's always coming from humble beginnings. You're always on edge about that. What if this doesn't? What if this doesn't continue? What if this stops? What is the next step?

level of it all you know and am I tracking am I not like right you know time is coming time is continuously going we're not getting younger what does that look like you know and not having a blueprint set before me so my relationship with God is so important so dope because I have to rely upon that

I don't even have anything in front of me to really rely upon except for that, you know? That's so good. I think I was, I thought that my fear was a failure, but I think that my greatest fear, especially after I had my son was like not being able to take care of him, like not being present for him, not being able to take care of him, like just not being able to provide a life that was worthy of who he was. Cause I knew we were already starting in a deficit and,

And I think I'm probably he's going to be 20 this year. And I mean, like, he's actually my child. You know what I mean? Like he like he like we got the thing like where he's going to school and I'm packing up the dorm and he calls me like and I don't think that I spend enough time really taking inventory of the fact that like that fear did not come to pass. And oh, I could like.

Wow. Do you hear me? Like, yeah, I got chills when I said that because we're so busy moving on to the next dream, the next project, the next goal that I think our relationship with God would deepen so much further. If we took time to honor the fact that that boogeyman that you thought was coming never came, it never came. That's so deep. That's really deep. That's really deep. And it's also like,

That showing up, you said something about showing up for him, right? Because I think you, as I'm not a parent, but I assume that you...

put in your mind what you think showing up looks like for sure and you most likely showed up in ways that you had no clue you were showing up in because that wasn't your idea what showing up is but if you speak to him I tell my friends that our parents often like no actually ask your kid the question because what you think it is is not really what it is in their mind and it could have been a mama where you thought you weren't showing up and that's actually the moment he really remembers it was showing up for him yeah

Oh, that. Okay. So I have this story of I was in my first marriage and I was mind gone. Just like, yeah, just bad. It was all bad. And we had the house in the suburbs and the trick or treating and like the whole thing looks good. But emotionally, I was just in a terrible space. But I

I had me and at the time of two kids and, you know, I was making the best of it that I could. And it was during summer break. And, you know, I was all over D.C. and all over Virginia, like trying to just do mom stuff to really keep myself distracted from the misery I was experiencing. And I remember walking him to the bus stop on the first day of school and he goes to get on the bus and then he turns around and he goes, thanks for a great summer, mom, and then gets on the bus and goes,

Like in that moment, I could have just crumbled because I was showing up for him and didn't even know it. So that you saying that, like really just a full circle moment for me.

Yeah. But those moments you're talking about taking inventory, those moments you have to take inventory. Yeah. When it is the full circle moment and it is the boogeyman is not realized. Right. But like the moment is realized where you were like it landed. Yeah. It landed. Good. This this is this is what it was for. Yeah.

Yeah, manifesting. Those moments I'm actually learning. I feel like they're like secret miracles, those quiet miracles that you have to be willing to silence your world to really hear. Like there are secret miracles in every day. But if you're so busy at your own pace, your own progress, you'll miss the secret miracles. So the world's opening up again. Like Miss Diddy's

out again that you know with the events are here how are you hanging on to the revelation of what you needed with the demand of who you were happening at the same time

You know, it's so interesting. You say that I do a staple event in my company called, it was called toast to young Hollywood for years. And this event happens during BET awards weekend. And this year I was really intentional in changing it to toast to black Hollywood. And it's interesting you say that because I just actually put a video about, because I was having this conversation with my team and with myself really, and just saying, you know,

I'm a very impactful person and intentional person around. I've built my career, my life around that super community based, all these things. I'm a church girl. I'm going to talk about God, no matter where we at, go with the club. You don't know about some Jesus and that's it. But yeah,

I wanted to be even more intentional during this time, more impactful and more brave in my communication move forward. Right. There's a lot of things that changed our world during the time of the pandemic. All the, you know, the things that we have seen and it shaped, I think, moving forward.

how brave we really need to be. So for me in this new, this new world time, it's really about being really unapologetic about the things that matter in this world.

community families our relationship with god and what's going on in our inner city communities and what's going on in our underserved communities right and having and having a real true voice and intention behind that so you know my events my world the moving forward it's based all around that even more than it has been i recently um

I, in February, I actually had a major surgery to remove my fibroids. And I didn't even realize how heavy it's happening in black and brown women. You know, we, it's, it's,

But it's so it's like we all know multiple women that are battling that and dealing with that disease. And I think as brown women, black women, we were the power. Right. We're strong black women. So it's not even like understood how what you're dealing with and what you're going through. And it's not so after I had the surgery, I was having a conversation and a woman who had it, she was like.

do you know what you just went through? Yeah. And I was like, well, you know, I'm recovering. It's tough recovery. And then she broke it. Then I was like, wait, that's the truth.

You know, and it was stronger than it hit me like a ton of bricks. And I was I'm not a crier. And I started crying. I'm like, my hormones almost know my fibers. That's why I'm a hormone. But, you know, I've just become even more intentional moving forward in this new world and this new outside and being outside. You know, that's what's important to me for sure.

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You said a buzzword and I think it's connected not only to the work that you're doing, but also to the way in which you've created boundaries and like are maintaining boundaries and allowing those boundaries to shift relationships. And you said brave in your communication. And I can only assume that there's a level of authenticity and wanting to be integrous in who you are authentically and every aspect of your life. And yet you,

To be brave in your communication suggests that the option to be fake in your communication or people pleasing your communication is an option as well. How do you like what is what keeps us from being brave in our communication? And how do you turn the switch? That is amazing.

Probably one of the most powerful questions I've ever been asked. I've been asked a lot of questions, you know, because the brave is tough, man, because you have to get to a place where you know that God got you for real.

Because I understand when people aren't brave in their communication, not everyone can get to that level. Right. There's different, you know, whether you're in a different role at your job, you don't feel that you're the boss or you're in this place or you're a woman and you're in a place where, you know, there's more power around you and you don't have the power and things like that. And see, for me, some people want to be famous, rich, successful.

all of these things. I wanted power always. Power was really important to me because I knew that is where the change happens. And that's why I'm able to be brave in my communication and know, you know what, whether, however, this rolls, I know God got me and I'm where he's supposed to have me. And I'm being led by the Holy spirit to say this to you anyway. And so it's going to have to let the chips roll.

fall where they may but I try to encourage that messaging with people because once we get to that place where we're as close as we can with ourselves and where we are in our life and communicating that that braveness will start to show up and the more comfortable you get with it you'll kind of it'll be a layered situation you kind of get oh yeah okay all right

Yeah, I can do that. You know, and I think we have to have those talks to ourselves because I don't always feel as confident and being brave in my communication. But I know it's necessary. Yeah. You know, I don't even know if I am going to say this right. But part of the reason why I love doing this podcast is like y'all low key just be giving me therapy because, you know, I think that.

I have struggled with being brave in my communication, which is why it's only God's strategy and plan that I would be a communicator because that's not my thing really, right? I'm working on it. God's got me. God's got me now. But I think growing up, I think when you talk about resetting fears, I think my biggest fear...

And I only realized this while we were talking is that like God didn't have me anymore because I like made the church mistakes before because I broke the rules. I thought that I was now separated from the protection, the provision, the grace that other people had access to. So instead of God's got me, it had to be I got me like I got to have me. I got to look out for me. I got to take care of myself. I got to get up on my two feet. And that helps me.

up to a certain point, but it no longer serves me now. And so I'm having to reset this notion that I got to take care of me and really trust in that, like God's going to handle it. Like I'm going to do this and God's going to hit like, God, I'm going to do what you tell me to do. And I'm not going to finesse my way. I'm not going to hustle. Like I'm going to trust that you're going to take care of, oh my gosh. And this is like so evident because we had something pop off a couple months ago and I was like, I'm going to release a statement.

I'm going to do a video. I'm going to do a documentary. I'm going to clear it up. And God was like, do you trust that I've got this or that you're going to handle it? Because you're trying to protect what I built. So either you built it or I built it. And if I built it, it can't come down. And if you built it, it needs to come down. So either way, you're going to be okay. And so I just been sitting here on do not disturb mode, just letting God got me.

You have said so many bars in just one paragraph. I'm over here about to run around the church because that is something I had to learn in my career as well. Right. Where much is given, much is required. We say all these things, but it's like we don't really understand what that means. When you get to a certain level, certain place and you're really, really trying to go for it. There's going to the opposition that's necessary. It's going to happen. There's nothing we can do about that. It's coming.

And it's going to keep coming. And I've been in so many places in my career, same boys. You're saying like, Oh, y'all want me to, okay, let me go ahead and let me go ahead and read. We need to address this. And God has that. One of the toughest time I was going through once I went friends, like undeniable betrayal, like what just happened? You know? And I probably, God got me together. He said, you're not going to say anything. Fuck.

That's so unlike me, right? That's so unlike me. They clearly want me to say something. This is the time for me to say something. If there was any, it was like, you're going to not say anything. And I think that's that God got me. It's not a...

We just say words and buzzwords and things and people just catch it and they don't understand what it is to have to be tested and to live in that. That's different. That test to have to really, and it's in your face and you can address it. Like I always tell people the most important thing that I learned in life and in my relationship with God and relationship in general with people and myself is to be meek. And that's having your power under control because everybody wants this power.

They don't understand what comes with it. So the times where I could have, just like you're saying, and I didn't, that's what God honored. And I seen it. That's what he honored. You know, that's what he said. Good. So you're finally learning, my child. You're finally learning.

The struggle, though, that's when the whole let go and let God thing, like people are like, how do I let go? It's really trust. It's really trust that I don't have to defend myself. So now what you're telling me in this season of my life, Lord, is that like,

I need to be afraid of me having me, of me taking care of it, of me having the plan, of me having the strategy and the protection. That needs to be my biggest fear, that I need to protect my heart, that I need to make sure people don't get over on me. And when we take that posture of defense, we do...

We are successful at keeping people away, but we don't score any points. We don't grow. That's good. We don't move into a place of progress and we don't get to understand for ourselves the faithfulness of God. We learn the faithfulness of our insecurities. We know the faithfulness to don't test me. And if you do test me, you'll see me. But we don't learn what it means to really just be safe and to trust. And I think I think that robs us on a lot of levels.

Because now I don't trust that I'm safe anywhere because I didn't learn to first be safe with the person who created me and this life that I'm living in. You're speaking to something that's so deep. I don't even you're going to you're prophetic right now. Because you know what that speaks to, Sarah, that speaks to like, say,

families that have dysfunction in them right and the people that you think are supposed to have you right so your your parents essentially your siblings because it's taught this is you belong to them yeah so to speak and so they're they're supposed to protect you this is our first encounter of humans as our parents and our siblings and what happens when they don't yeah

So you take, but, but, but what you're saying is so profound because we're, we're not remembering that we were actually created by God. So that's what's supposed to happen. And that's why he says, you know, I'll be your father and all these things that we don't even understand what that means because our, our trauma drives us. You know what I'm saying? Because we expecting these people to protect us, but really all we needed is to know that, know that God has us.

Okay, so I hate to interrupt all of this good conversation, but I wanted you to know that I want to talk to you too. I want to hear your story. I want to hear your thoughts and opinions. You can send me your application, your video to be a co-host to podcast.

Podcasts at Womanevolve.com. Let me know what it is you want to talk about, why it's important to you that you be on the podcast. Maybe you're like, girl, I am not going to be on anybody's podcast. I don't do talking to people. First of all, this is a sign. Overcome yourself. But if not, you can send me an advice question. Podcasts at Womanevolve.com. Okay, let's get back to the podcast.

So, okay, so you're on the separation journey of what your trauma created versus what your divinity is calling you towards. Because I know the language. I know the language. It's mine, you know. And it does require a pace so that you can identify, was that action trauma? Were those words trauma? Am I moving divinely? And there's a sacred space.

within your being that you must fully embody to really take ownership of this work. This work, you have to see it as important. You have to see it as necessary so that you can really be good ground and good soil. And so I'm wondering, like, as you're on that journey of separation and extraction, really extracting. Oh, my gosh. I'm thinking we've got this

I've got all these different buzzwords in my head, but we're talking about distilling in one of our courses. And it's like distilling all of the impurities to get it to its purest form. And I feel like that's what I'm doing for myself. Like, I just want to be pure. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to be in pain. Like, I don't have time to strategize against you because I could and I could bring you to a demise. Because I could. No, it's all of that. Oh, no, I could. Yeah, right.

You know, like, I don't want to find out where you work and call up there. Like, I don't want to have to do all of these things, but it's in me to do. And so now I'm like trying to be different. I'm trying so hard. I'm trying so hard.

But there's a purity. I think there's a place of purity that we're coming to and there's beauty and vulnerability in that purity, but it attracts pure. And I think that's how we keep our circles pure. Are you, am I right? Are you on that extraction? You know, that's a quadrillion, quadrillion, whatever another number could be percent. Because what also we have to learn during that extraction and in that journey of that, right?

the things that we are extracting, you have to know that those things are going to hurt too, because it's what we're been, we've been married to, right? Like we've been, and it's funny you say that was on the phone. I was calling my aunt, my dad's sister earlier on my, my, uh, drive into a meeting I had to do. And I was like, I'm just talking about, you know, she asked about something. I say, you know, I, Terry, I only care about being healthy across the board. And that person, um,

is not healthy for me. So no, and you have to, the trauma that you were married to when you're doing that extraction, you now, like you're saying, when you have to embody this new work and really own that work that you've done, you have to be married to that. And that has to be very almost black and white.

No, that comes that boundary, that no word, that no, God bless you. Good night. Have a good one. That's not for me. You know, and, you know, I think we talk about these new levels and becoming this new person, but we don't talk about the heartbreak that happens.

as a result of having to let those people go, as a result of having to let those old ways and those old habits go because they're what we know. Yeah. You know, I've had to deal with the fact recently, you know, we're here now, so we might as well just make therapy. The heartbreak of it. Yeah.

So I think because my fear was rejection and people not receiving me and accepting me, I found a way to I would call it sugarcoating truth so that people would still receive the truth but not reject me in the process. Right.

And it's called sugarcoating if you want to sugarcoat it, but it's actually manipulation because you are creating a picture that you want them to see instead of them fully understanding

the truth of what you're trying to say. And so I had a situation where I needed to tell someone that they couldn't come with me somewhere, that it just wasn't a good, it just not right now. Like we need space. You need this. I need that. And I tried to play it like, you know, like I just want to make sure because I got a few comments and I got some feedback, you know, I just want to protect you. And I showed it to my husband and he was like,

And I was like, but she got, but she not coming. Like we got to the finished product and he was like, but that's not the truth. You know, you didn't tell the truth. And I was like, it was a truth. You know, now I got to defend. Okay.

When we say truth. Right. Because the truth is she's not coming. I thought as long as we got to the truth, the truth is fine. But living in that work is allowing myself to see my own ways and to see how I would rather protect this person's image of me than to make them feel rejected or to have rejection from them. And so I went back and I sent this voice memo and I said, at the end of the day, I

kind of knew months ago that I wasn't going to do this because of X, Y, and Z. And to really just let the humility, to let the fallout, to let the attitudes, to let whatever breaking is going to be happen so that there's space for this new you to live. Like you got to

create space for this version of you that tells the truth for this version of you that creates the boundaries for the version of you that takes a chance on what's right and may be wrong in the future but you're willing to apologize like you got to create space for that and so I'm learning to create space and it is it's humbling and heartbreaking to see yourself to allow other people to change the way that they see you all for the sake of being authentic it's it's rough

It's rough. And you have to also know that most people aren't doing that work. So it's a bit lonely, not from a negative connotation, but from a maybe there's a better word that I could find. But it's a space that you may not experience with everyone.

everyone. And sometimes they experience it later because then they'll do their work later and they'll be honest and authentic about their, what they, the part that they played. And sometimes that may never come. And I think that I've started to learn that that same authentic place that you're saying and to say, Hey, you know what, actually this is what's going on. Right. And this is why it's not okay or not healthy for me. And understanding that

God still got me. So even if I lose that, lose that person or whatever that case may be, I can't always protect the hurt behind that moment. I have to know that I did it for, like you're saying, to make space for this person.

better version of myself and the better versions of people that are going to take space in my life, you know? Yeah. It's so funny. PT was like, sometimes you just got to grab your nuts and say something. And I was like, but when y'all say grab your nuts, there's a level of like, it's like,

It's a level of swag connected to it. And this feels like not grabbing your nuts. This feels like getting kicked in the nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like getting kicked. You're kicked, not grabbed. It does. I didn't plan that today. No. I didn't want to do that. That's not for me. No. But, you know, we're grabbing nuts out here at the Woman Evolved Podcast. I'm with it.

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Okay, Ms. Diddy, we have an advice question and I can't wait to hear your perspective on it. It says, Hey, Pastor Sarah, I am 19 years old. It has always been a dream of mine to be a fashion designer. I have always felt God telling me to start a clothing line from childhood. As I started to get older, I started experiencing different things like teachers questioning my creativity, lack of resources, and feelings...

Feelings that my dream was too big for me or that I was not good enough to handle such a dream, which caused my dream to die. For three years, my dream of starting a fashion line was dead until this year when the Lord sent me an amazing community of sisters and mentors to resurrect that dream. I started dreaming big again, and it's been amazing so far. My question is, how do I keep my dream alive while going through trials and tribulations?

I believe that you have to know that there will be trials and tribulations. That way you don't fall apart when they come. Yeah. Right. And I believe in being action-based, progressive-minded, and solution-based. So when things happen...

You have two ways that you can look at something, right? You can go straight to the dark side and fall in a pit of, oh, I mean, I can't believe. Versus, okay, this happened. Okay, let me take a moment. That happened. Now, how do I solve this? And I kind of look at...

hurdles as an opportunity for me to figure something out. And what do I need to figure out about myself in this moment as well? And what's the next moment? I'm the friend that everyone is like, you didn't tell me you were going through that. How do we solve this? And I think that

while you're going for your dream and all these things, the most important thing is to become strong minded, build up your mind and every aspect of your life. We don't understand how important it is. This right here. Like, can you imagine that the almighty God like that we serve said that can do anything in this world? You know, the one thing he said, he cannot change or tap.

is your mind your will so if he said that this is the most powerful thing that like we don't even understand what's up here god said i cannot touch your will yeah you can move the whole mountain and the stars and the sky and the water okay he can't change our mind

So if we learn to be, to, to, to exercise and practice being mentally strong, however, that shows up for you in your life. I think that will tackle life better because life is going to happen. It's going to happen to all of us, whatever journey we are. I can go work at Walmart tomorrow. Still things are going to happen that are unpredictable and hurtful and things like that. But it's the way we are POV and the way we look at things and, um,

to be really strong minded and action based. So if I was telling that young 19 year old girl, I have, I have sisters around our age, like, listen, get up here, get this strong. Cause life's going to happen. It's going to happen to you.

So if you are exercising that and getting in a good space there, you'll be okay through life. You know? That makes so much sense. There's a separation that I hear you saying is exactly what I was kind of echoing between like your dream and you. Yeah.

And I think that it's really important to see that separation because your dream is an entity in itself, but you are the one who's going to manifest that dream into reality. So the trials and tribulations aren't on the dream, it's on you. So who do you need to become in order to make sure that you know that they are coming and that you can have a defense against them? Because when I look back on like

what I would have called a trial and tribulation in building my businesses. I would have learned those were actually lessons. Like I learned about California hiring laws because I went through some lessons. Like I learned about taxes because I went through some lessons. No, that's a real thing. It is. It's a real thing. And it's a real lesson. It is a real lesson. And it ain't nothing like learning that lesson through a letter. Come and certify and make sure you sign the fact that you got this lesson. Okay. It's a thing. But like now that I look back,

on it, I'm like, that really wasn't a trial. That was a lesson. Now the trials have come up against me with using my insecurities against me, me feeling inadequate. And that's something that's going to exist, whether the dream is in manifestation or not. So like separating those two is the only way that you're going to really be able to understand the business going. I'm going to fail at this. Like no matter how good my dream is, I'm going to mess up the money. I'm not going to make profit. I'm going to charge too much. The quality is not going to be good. The fabrics

It's not going to be great. Like, I'm going to jack this part of it up, but there will be lessons and I will do better next time. And the trials will attack my ability to manifest the dream only if I let it, which I think is why what you said is so powerful. Wow. And I commend that young sister for writing in because that's how you invest in yourself, right? Yeah.

researching and trying to figure out the information and listening to stories that could really help you kind of navigate through some things. So the more you, that's a piece of investing in yourself, you know, writing into woman evolve, you know, you know, studying your word when, you know, I mean, I love,

all of your preachings, Sarah, all of them, you know, and they're so impactful. And that's a part of investing in yourself is going to go research that. So I, you know, I pray abundance over that young sister and that she continues on, but that she understands that life is real. And the sooner you take it serious, the further your goal.

Well, there's no way that I have Miss Diddy on the podcast and don't ask for your business advice, your business tips. So maybe like maybe it's targeted towards this woman and the rest of us can just ear hustle and take notes. Like what are the top three business tips that you would give an entrepreneur? This sounds so cliche, but I promise you, Sarah, it's not.

do good business. I mean, just do good business across the board. There's pieces and contracts that say, um, and good faith, you know, that's literally in, in, in, in all contracts and people don't understand, you know, the severity of that. Just do good business. Um,

And be honest about where you are in your business. There's, there's, it's funny. I was just that clip. That's, that's going viral. That PT said, you know, the power of no, because yes, it's expensive. I almost threw the phone, my phone to him because that's what people don't understand. It took me years to understand that in business, especially as an entrepreneur, that, that,

You know, while I'm so grateful to God that I don't even have to look for business. Everyone comes to me. I'm so grateful. I've never I've never taken that for granted. So a piece of it, I always thought I need to take on everything, everything. I got to know I can't. Yeah, because I'm going to drop the ball somewhere if I if I if I am not intentional or focused on what I have in front of me already.

One thing that I will say that is undervalued and not under grinds my gears, timeliness, being on time. It's, it seems like a simple, practical thing. It's not. If you start, are you, if you're supposed to be somewhere at 11, you're,

Get there at 1045 because people remember that and they remember when you're late. And, you know, as a young black woman doing business, it was always really important for me that I showed up.

right and that that I broke any type of stereotypes or or mindsets because I've been fortunate to do business with a lot of high-end people for a very long time so the way I showed up was very important to me you know timeliness doing good business um being direct as possible right um listening people

People don't listen in business because they think they just know everything. Now, yeah, I'm an expert at what I do, but there's no reason for me to go sit down, take a meeting with a potential client or a person and to not listen to what they think. People want to talk about what they can do. It's like, girl, be quiet. Listen to what this person is saying that they need. Like, why are you doing all that? You know? And that's something that I definitely practice in business as well. Also, knowing your strong points and your weak points because everyone has them.

And that's how you hire your team. You know, what you're strong at, continue to get stronger at and what you're weak at, find someone that is strong at that and bring it in. And don't be afraid to spend money. For me, I'm in marketing. So,

spending money is, is, is important. You have to spend money to make money. If we don't talk about some corn, you have to, it's just no way around it. You know, the beautiful set that you're sitting on, you know, you don't just have a drop down green screen back there. No disrespect. Yeah. You floating in the clouds. Why are you doing that? But there's real true intention and, and, um,

love put into your set and how you have presented yourself. And that's what people don't see and look at the behind the scenes of that, but that's really, really important in business. And you can tell across the board in your business there that there's intent across the board that, that shows up whether you, I know that's intentional for you to be intentional, but I'm telling you as an expert, it shows up and it's beautiful to see. It's beautiful to see.

It really is. Oh, that blessed my little heart. Cause the honey, when I tell my team, like, we just going to do something and see what happens. I'm the same. Oh my God. The same way. My, my team will look at, they all got the same look. Like exactly. Cause I tell them, we're going to dip our toe in the water. And then they're like, but you just pushed us into the pool. And I'm like, it's the same thing. Dip your toe in the pool. You guys know. Here we are.

Yeah. Miss Diddy, you're good stuff. You are beyond great stuff. And thank you. I want to say, you know, thank you. Thank you for who you are, what you are, what you represent and what you've brought to the culture, to the kingdom. And coincide. And it's not it's not an easy place to exist. It's easy because you're being yourself. But, you know,

It's much to myself. Yeah, I technically work in entertainment, right? But I'm very vocal and strategic about my relationship with God and saying that because that's important, you know? And so I just want to tell you thank you because you know your work matters and you'll hear it time and time again, but I want you to sit in that. I want you to sit in that. So thank you for answering the call. You know what I mean? Thank you. And it's really...

One of the most important things for me to sit here and to be speaking to you a really full circle moment because I wouldn't be where I am in my career without PT. 100%. I wouldn't have quit my job. I wouldn't have understood the depth of worship without being one of his early on sheep. And that is what has protected me in life.

That is what has led me to where I am and understanding that, you know, and it was a special time during that time. We was in church four or five days a week. I mean, we were there, sweatsuits at the altar, snot, snot and tears, you know, and it birthed

everything in me and where I am now so this moment is is very very important and I want you to know that from my heart thank you thank you you're welcome I can't wait to share that with PT because uh he's he does he talks about he's talked about all his little babies from to hunger yes yes yes that is that is my brother he is yeah that what that time it's even too emotional to talk about

Because I wouldn't, there's no way I would be where I am right now and what I'm doing without him and without his, without his leadership and his, and his prophetic work. No way. No way.

I can't wait to tell him that. I know it's going to bless him. It's going to be timely. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. We got to do this in person. You know, one day. I was like, I thought I was going in for a hug. It's like, yikes. It's not working. No. And we are going to do this in person. I look forward to that. Me too. Take care. Thank you. Bye.

Miss Diddy, you are the truth, a treasure. I'm so glad that we finally got a chance to link up. I feel peace after being in your presence. Thank you so much for breaking away from your schedule to share your wisdom and your light with us. If this episode blessed you, run on over to the socials and just tell Miss Diddy thank you for her honesty, her transparency, her authenticity. Also, listen, if you like, you know what? I got a little light that needs to shine.

I want to see it. Send me an email at podcast at woman evolve dot com with a one to two minute video about being my next co-host. Or you can just send an advice question. You know me. I'll see you next week. I'm a good lawyer and I want to win. I think I killed GT.

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Hello. From Wonder Media Network, I'm Jenny Kaplan, host of Womanica, a daily podcast that introduces you to the fascinating lives of women history has forgotten. Who

Who doesn't love a sports story? The rivalries, the feats of strength and stamina. But these tales go beyond the podium. There's the team table tennis champ, the ice skater who earned a medal and a medical degree, and the sprinter fighting for Aboriginal rights. Listen to Womanica on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.