Choosing God's Narrative w/ Monique Rodriguez
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and start listening. I heard someone say that forgiveness is something that you often have to remind yourself of. Surrendering to God's narrative for me right now is me choosing to seek God's narrative over anyone else's. I've learned that criticism usually comes from a small group of people that just talk very, very loud. Success is not success if you're not reaching back and lifting other people up.

What's up, Dele? What's up, girly? We back in this thing, week 14. You feel me? Listen, okay, so maybe rapping is not my thing. Let's not be judgy, though. You've tried new things and failed as well. What's up, delegation? It's back for another week, the Woman Evolved podcast. We back at it like we never left.

And we are continuing this month's conversation about surrendering to God's narrative, which I had to surrender to the fact that God doesn't want me to be a rapper.

Can I explain it? I wish I could, but I guess he had the need of me in another area. Have I surrendered to it? Well, just run this back about 30 seconds and you'll see I'm still laying it down. What do you need to surrender as it relates to God's narrative for your life? What are you hanging on to that you need to release? Low key, I'm not really holding on to me being a rapper, but when it comes to surrendering to God's narrative right now in this season of my life, I'm not really holding on to it.

It's probably the same thing for me over and over again. Can we normalize surrendering being a lifelong process? I heard a powerful quote about forgiveness once that I believe just completely encapsulate what it means to surrender everything.

Oftentimes we struggle with surrendering because we see it as a one-time thing. Like when I lay it down, I'm never going to pick it back up again. And so it's hard for me to lay it down because I'm afraid that I'm going to pick it back up again. But I heard someone say that forgiveness is something that you always

often have to remind yourself of. I am choosing to exercise forgiveness as it relates to X, Y, Z. So in those moments where unforgiveness arises, it doesn't change the fact that like last month I was doing okay. There is something that has happened within this season of my life with where I am mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that has made me begin to feel

angry and vindictive about something that has happened in my life. And so I have to remind myself that I am pursuing forgiveness. We are pursuing surrender and I am constantly pursuing a surrender of my feelings of inadequacy, but I do feel like I'm getting better.

Maybe what happens is like we lay it down and then when we pick it back up, we're not picking up the same measure. So maybe I laid down a ton of inadequacy, but I picked up a few ounces. I put on a few pounds. And so each time I surrender, I am surrendering less and less of the thing that I once had a lot of.

I believe that makes sense. So I'm surrendering feelings of inadequacy. I'm also, oh, big one. I am having to surrender to God's narrative about my grace and my anointing as opposed to searching for validation from other people. So surrendering to God's narrative for me right now is me choosing to

seek God's narrative over anyone else's, which is really hard. I think that as long as I was like by myself in the background, nobody was checking for me. Like I believe surrendering to God's narrative was so much easier. Uh, I am going to be posting, no, I already preached this message is posted. I don't think it's on my YouTube page though, but, um, uh,

The message that I preached is called, in the message, I talk about success changing your definition, your definition of success changing. I preached this about the disciples coming back. I don't remember what the name of the message is. And I know sometimes y'all don't be remembering the name of the message. Y'all just be remembering what you got out of it. One of the things that I got out of that message was success, your definition of success can change.

It can be hijacked. And so surrendering to God's narrative in this season of my life is not allowing my definition of success, effectiveness, fulfillment to be hijacked by metrics. Because right now with the book coming out, which if this is your first time listening, I

I have a book coming out. It's called Power Moves, Ignite Your Confidence and Become a Force. I'm super excited about it. If this is not your first time listening to it, you better not have rolled your eyes when I said it again. I want you guys...

to know that this is what's on my heart right now, this message. And so I am, you know, there are some nerves about reviews and it being out and did this make sense? And did I say it properly? And already it's like, when you say something, you go back and you're like, I wish I would have said that differently. I wish I would have said that better. I'm at this stage right now where I'm like, God, I am praying that the hearts that are meant to receive this message are open to receive it. And that the words that were in my heart are translated through the pages in a way that makes sense for their need. And so, yeah,

That's where I am. Where are you? Tell me about it. Hey, I want you all to start emailing me. Can you start emailing me? Podcast at womanevolve.com. Give me a testimony. Tell me how the podcast is changing you, uplifting you, telling me stories that you saw in the news. Boost your girl up a little bit. Did you do

something amazing? Did your girl show off and we need to brag on her? Just email me all of the randomness so that I can start reading it on the podcast. I do enjoy minding your business as well. So if you have an advice question for me, you can send it to podcast at womanevolved.com. That is exactly what our girl just did. Let's get into this week's mind your business question. This week's

mind your business question is one that I found really interesting. Um,

I get a lot of questions where most people are trying to navigate what has happened to them. But this is something that she feels responsible for doing to someone else. So let's read it. Hi, Pastor Sarah. Thank you for showing up for you so you could show up for us. Thank you. I love you. Now let's take a deep breath. I haven't talked about this at all, but I felt comfortable when you said it's okay if you're the villain. So I built the courage to finally open up about it.

Okay.

I never felt safe and she was never an approachable parent. Fast forward two years later, I began reaching out to teachers telling my story, but I started over exaggerating and lying like he raped me because I was thinking to myself, if I say he did something really bad, he was going to jail.

I messed up and I continued to do these stupid things with different people simply because I felt heard. I wanted him out of the house. I just wanted to feel safe. I didn't want to sleep with my door locked every night. I wanted a relationship with my mom. I needed my mom. I needed to be protected.

by my mom. He had this saying, I've been to jail three times. I ain't going back. So why would I put my hands on a child? So she didn't care how I felt, nor did she see I needed her. It continued until my mom fell ill and still nothing changed. Everything I needed kind of took a back burner and I began caring for her until she passed away.

I finally felt safe at 21 when I was no longer under the roof with him. I tried to force myself to forget it because people didn't believe me. I kind of just lived through it and didn't really address it, but it's there. I'm 25 now and here I am trying to serve God and get closer to him. And it's challenging because that eats away at me. Oh, friend, I am so, so sorry that you've gone through this.

All of these experiences before you even had the encounter with your mom's boyfriend at the time, you guys were in a situation where you felt like without him, you all would have nowhere to go. So the trauma of what happened to you and then the trauma of the reality of your living situation is all gone.

tangled up in the same experience. You said you're 25 now and this happened 10 years ago. That means you were 15 years old, a 15-year-old girl. Then you said two years later when you were 17 that you began exaggerating the story. I think what's critical in you coming to a place where you are able to really see fully your experience is

is not just seeing that you lied or exaggerated, but recognizing all of the variables that played a role in your experience. So a young girl with unstable housing condition

a mother that you didn't always feel was approachable. And then this devastating experience, like my heart just breaks for you that the enemy attempted to exploit an opening for your life through a living situation and circumstance that

he desired to ultimately use to alter your life and your destiny to be in a place where you're 25 and trying to serve God and get closer to God after all that you've been through is just a miracle within itself. And so I want you to recognize that as we're talking about surrendering to God's narrative, that when God looks at our story, God doesn't look at one scene. God doesn't just

Like turn on the TV. Have you ever turned on the TV and it was in the middle of a movie? You had no idea what was going on and you started making judgment about certain characters. And then maybe you saw the movie again in full context and you're like, wow, maybe I was wrong about what I thought about this person the first time because I didn't see the full movie.

So often when we are looking at our own lives, we're looking at one scene in our life and we're stuck in that one scene, stuck in the choices we made, the decisions that we made, and we can't see beyond that scene. Part of what happens is

And our relationship with God and our ability to go to therapy is that we zoom out of the picture and we look at our lives within full context. And we see that given our circumstance, given our relationships, given the tools in development or underdevelopment that we possess,

that many of the choices that we judge ourselves for are choices that God understood would be easily accessible to us because we just didn't have the tools that we have now. But thank God for Jesus, who always causes us to triumph and positions us to leave his fragrance everywhere we go.

we have an opportunity to embrace the fullness of who we are. So yes, you exaggerated. Yes, you made it seem bigger than it was. But have you thought about this other reality is that maybe it felt that big to you that no, maybe the rape did not actually occur, but that violation in your need to feel heard is

that large to you, that it really was an exaggeration of the truth, but not an exaggeration of your experience, if that makes sense. And while I would in no means suggest that it's okay to lie about something like that, I want you to understand that you're...

with violation, your experience with not being heard, not being seen, not being valued, made something that other people may brush off and not seem like it's a big deal, it had as much gravity to you as someone who maybe had that experience. And so this is the complexity of what happens when we are trying to figure out the language that we need to give full expression to our experiences and

Our need to want to walk it out with someone. I'm not sure if there were any implications about what happened. I don't think in the letter, whether or not you expressed that he actually went to prison or they pressed charges or what accountability looked like. Another possibility is that though he may have touched you inappropriately, you know, you may have not been the first person who was a victim to that experience. And sometimes...

God makes sure that there is restitution and that there is a harvest reaped in other places.

So I don't know what the implications are of what happened to him. If there is a way that you can undo and bring truth, I don't know. I'll need you to write me back. And I didn't say your name. Maybe we can figure it out together. But what I will say is that you have to take seriously how painful your upbringing was, how painful that experience was, and really give yourself some compassion that allows you to see that

the need to exaggerate, the need to be that desperate for support and for a safe space made you act in a way that you regret, but also to really embrace why was I in that position in the first place and forgive yourself for that.

This is such a complex issue. And I don't know that I've given you the best advice, but if there's someone listening right now and you have some other wisdom, please write us at podcast at woman evolve dot com. I would love to add wisdom in the multitude of counsel. There is safety. And so if there is anyone who's listening and you have a similar experience or some wisdom that you felt that I have left on the table or bypassed,

please make sure that you write us and let us know what it is. But surrendering to God's narrative requires that we see the fullness of who we are and the fullness of our experiences, even those things that we wish we could undo, and especially those things that have caused us to do the things we wish we could undo. I hope that's helpful for you. Evolve. Evolve.

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Moments like seeing my son's team cheer him on mean a lot to me. But after being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, or MBC, which is breast cancer that is spread to other parts of the body, they mean even more. I take Ibrance, palbocyclib. Ibrance 125 milligram tablets with an aromatase inhibitor is for adults with HR positive HER2 negative MBC as the first hormonal-based therapy. Ask your doctor about Ibrance and visit Ibrance.com. Ibrance may cause low white blood cell counts that may lead to serious infections.

Eyebrands may cause severe inflammation of the lungs. Both of these can lead to death. Tell your doctor right away if you have new or worsening symptoms, including trouble breathing, shortness of breath, cough, or chest pain. Before taking eyebrands, tell your doctor if you have fever, chills, or other signs of infection, liver or kidney problems, are or plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding. Common side effects include low red blood cell and low platelet counts, infections, tiredness, nausea, sore mouth, abnormalities in liver blood tests,

Diarrhea, hair thinning or loss, vomiting, rash, and loss of appetite. The podium is back with fresh angles and deep dives into Olympic and Paralympic stories you know, and those you'll be hard-pressed to forget. I did something in 88 that hasn't been beaten. Oh, gosh. The U.S. Olympic trials is the hardest and most competitive meet in the world. We are athletes. We're going out there, smashing into each other full force.

Listen to The Podium on the iHeart app or your favorite podcast platform weekly and every day during the games to hear the Olympics like you've never quite heard them before. In the summer of 2020, in the small mountain town of Idlewild, California, five women disappeared in the span of just a few months.

Eventually, I found out what happened to the women. All except one. A woman named Lydia Abrams, known as Dia. Her friends and family ran through endless theories. Was she hurt hiking? Did she run away? Had she been kidnapped? I'm Lucy Sherriff. I've been reporting this story for four years, and I've uncovered a tangled web of manipulation, estranged families, and greed.

Everyone, it seems, has a different version of events. Hear the story on Where's Dia, my new podcast from Pushkin Industries and iHeart Podcasts. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

This could be the craziest podcast pairing ever. The governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and Super Bowl champ Marshawn Beast Mode Lynch are politicking. What does politicking even mean? There's bridge and gaps. With no politics. Joined by their friend and agent Doug Hendrickson, it's going to be a wild ride. We can change the world podcast by podcast. Listen to Politicking with Gavin Newsom, Marshawn Lynch, and Doug Hendrickson on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.

Man, life is so complicated, child. It just be out here doing what only life can do. And then there are moments where it also feels just like very simple and very straightforward, which is why it's so mind boggling when it gets hard again.

I don't know who you are on the other side of this podcast or what you're up against, but I just want you to know you're not the only one going through some tough things. I preached a message at the International Leadership Summit that we're actually going to put on my YouTube page soon, and it was called Finish Strong. And in Finish Strong, I talk about how many of us live at intersections and like I'm

I'm righteous and I'm struggling. I'm a business person, but I'm also creative. Like there are all of these different intersections that we're having to live in. And I believe that that too is a part of God's narrative. Jesus was 100% divine and 100% human. And creating space for someone requires that we...

that they're all living in intersections, that they're good and bad, that they're mature and underdeveloped and

I don't know. It's hard because if you're like me, you like to think of things in black and white, but things are very rarely black and white. And yet God is so, so good that he holds capacity for all of who we are. So I'm constantly praying, God, help me, help me to have capacity for all of who, for all of who I am and all of who others are as well.

I am excited about this week's podcast. First of all, let me tell you how gangster Monique Rodriguez is. So we've been trying to get on a podcast together for a little bit of time now.

And we scheduled one, but then I changed the format or I think I had to have surgery. And so we weren't able to continue it. She's invited me to a retreat that she does a few times. And I have said no a few times. It's no shade at all. It's just that my kids schedule, if you guys have kids, then, you know, like the school's not sending out stuff as far in advance as we would sometimes like. And it always falls sometime around spring break. So I've had to say no.

Because I like to be at home with my little stalkers. And so I said no a few times. Finally, she reaches out to me and she's like, I just want to make sure we're not beefing because I've reached out, you know, some things have been canceled. And I just had so much respect for her because a lot of times we make assumptions about people when we could just figure out the truth if we were willing to have direct conversations.

If you don't know, Monique Rodriguez founded Miel Organics in 2014 after her healthy hair care regimen for her tailbone length hair became somewhat of a craze among her social media followers. It is now 10 years since she started the company and it has become a force to be reckoned with as it relates to natural hair care products. The company began on the back of one product,

the advanced hair formula, a unique proprietary blend of herbs, amino acids, and minerals to support healthy hair, skin, nails, and immune system. Since then, it has expanded to 10 collections under Monique's direction, including products for skin and children. Maiel has been distributed in more than 87 countries and can be found in more than 100 countries.

thousand stores across the U.S. Let me tell you something. One thing about the queen of hair, as she calls herself, is that she is going to make sure that not only does she have a quality product, but that it is accessible as well.

For those of you who have not followed her very inspiring journey, things that you should know about her, she is a real deal believer, okay? She loves God. She seeks to bring him the glory in everything that she does. And she also...

is living at an intersection herself as her company has taken off and had quite a bit of success. She recently sold in and created a little bit of a social media frenzy because at the end of the day, she wanted to scale her company, but she sold it, I think for, oh, I don't know. Y'all mind her business.

Go mind your business if you want to know how much she sold it for. But I have to tell you that I think she very much so embodies what it means to live in an intersection. She is a mother. She's a wife. She is a business owner. She's holding down all of these different... She's a nonprofit owner. She's...

She's holding down all of these different corners of her identity, but she's also not allowing the success of Myel Organics and even the selling of Myel Organics to stop her from dreaming and pursuing what God has next for her. And so she is successful and hungry. What an intersection for us all to live in. She is quiet.

quite literally living out God's narrative for her life. And she took the time to sit down and talk to me and just have some good old girl talk that I believe is going to help you. So let's get into this week's conversation. How are you?

I'm good. How are you doing? I'm doing okay. What's your world been about? Oh, just busy. I'm busy with work and traveling and a lot of speaking engagements. In addition to, I have two kids graduating, one from high school, one from eighth grade. Oh, wow. So I have school trips planned.

graduation, prom. So just, you know, trying to prioritize all of that, you know, making sure that I'm present for my kids and, you know, but also trying to tell my team, like, look, I need a little break. Yeah. Because I'm not a robot. So I'm like taking this week

And next week is their spring break. So we're going to Florida. So I'm just taking like these weeks to kind of just like redo a reset because I was I was starting to feel a little burnt out. I mean, you were I mean, you have been everywhere. Obviously, I follow you on social media and it seems like you have been like really, you know, doing all of the things. But I know that that can often come at a cost. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So like January is kind of like slow for us because it's after the holidays.

But February, February picks up fast. March, it's like super, super fast. And it's like so busy. I feel like February and March was just like one month that just, you know, it was just all came together. But, you know, I'm not complaining. I feel like truly blessed, obviously, that, you know, God has blessed me with all these opportunities. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful to be like wanted. Right. You want to be in demand. Right.

But I just know that when I start to feel like I'm not giving 100% of myself, I know that I need to just take a step back, reset, take a break so I can go out here and give 100% for my work and for my family as well, too. So when I feel a little off balance, I know I need to just do a reset. Have you always been like that sensitive to like what you need or did you kind of learn by trial and error?

I definitely learned by trial and error because, you know, I would start to feel like very like anxious some of the times and like feeling like very overwhelmed, but not being able to like pinpoint where that source of anxiety was coming from. But once I started to like really be in tune with my spirit and my body and knowing that like, okay, I'm not getting a lot of sleep. I'm not eating properly. I'm not, you know, on my...

everyday regimen, like things are kind of like out of place. I know that I need to, I've noticed that when I take the time to like be still or when I really like get into my word or if I just take like at least five minutes and just say like, Lord, speak to me, give me direction, give me guidance. I noticed that I would start to feel better. So that's how I learned to like, when I started to feel those ways to just pause and

And to just like sit in that pause and just sit still and just reflect. And even if I'm not praying, like just allowing the spirit to just speak to me. Yeah. I had to learn how to do that. So once I started to figure out and pinpoint my source, like where the stuff was coming from, but also know how to like resolve it by just being in God's presence is how I learned to kind of like coalesce.

cope with, you know, feeling overworked or feeling burnt out and knowing that, okay, I'm getting to that point because I've known this, I know this feeling, I recognize it. So it's really just recognizing and really just being self-aware of like your body and being in tune with that.

Okay. So last time we talked, cause we did like a pajama panel. I think it was during the middle of the pandemic. And, um, you know, I think Maya was certainly still like that girl, like everybody's, everybody's favorite. I think since then it has increased even more. I am wondering, like, what have you learned about success that has like taken you by surprise?

Oh, that's a good question. I would say what I've learned about success that has taken me by surprise, honestly, is the amount of criticism that comes with success. Because, you know, the saying that goes, well,

you're not doing nothing if they're not talking about you, there's some truth to that. Because the level of criticism that I have received throughout my entire career from not just as of most recent, but people will tend to criticize what they don't understand. People will tend to criticize what they don't have the courage to do. People will try to project their insecurities and their fears off on you.

And people are also just very vocalized about making sure that their opinions are known of whether or not they like you or they dislike you, right? And the ones that dislike you, you know, try to be a lot louder than the ones that do. And I've learned that criticism usually comes from a small group of people that just talk very, very loud.

And you have to learn how to silence the noise. And, you know, it was a scripture I was going through a challenging period throughout my career when I was getting a lot of criticism. And I read this devotional and it talked about Nehemiah.

how he was building the wall and how people were criticizing him for building the wall. I'm paraphrasing. But he kept focused on what he was building. He didn't pay attention to like the naysayers. And I held on to that devotional when I was in that tough period in my career that I was being criticized for, you know, correcting someone on how they use my products. People came down on me for that, but I had to focus on

Still building, still building that wall, still focus on my character, because I feel that no matter how much people criticize you, no matter what they say, your integrity and your character will always speak for itself and will always overshadow the naysayers.

And of course, I got through that. And I got through that because the people that really stood for me, that understood who I was as a person, that understood my character and my integrity, those people will fight on your behalf. Yeah. Like you don't need to interject or you don't need to say anything because the people that are for you are for you. And those people are going to fight for you. And that's why I say you can't beat having good character and integrity because if I didn't have good character and integrity,

my fan base wouldn't have came to my defense. Right. And they were the ones that handle the naysayers and the criticism. Right. So but I had to learn that success comes with that cost. Like the bigger you are, the larger your territory, you're going to

be more open to the voices and opinions of people who have a lot to say about stuff that they probably don't know nothing about. And I had to learn that it just comes with the territory to not let it affect me, to not let it get me down, to stay focused on who God has called me to be and the purpose and the destiny that he has set out for me. So I had to just shift my mindset and focus on

whose I am and not focus on what people are saying. But I did learn that that comes with the cost of being successful. Okay, so I'm wondering, we look at your life and we just like dove right into this conversation that was not the plan, but you just started talking. And I'm just like, let's go for it.

If we were on, we are on the outside looking in at your life and it would be easy to, you know, queen of hair, um,

Incredible family, travels the world, fashionista, like the narrative of your life that we would come up with on the outside looking in is very aspirational. It's very inspiring. I know that you are a woman after God's heart. I am wondering what is...

God's narrative about your life? And did you have to come into agreement with that? Or did you always trust God's narrative for your life? Oh, that's a good question. And no one's ever asked me that. What is God's narrative for my life? I would say that God's narrative for my life, what people see on the outside,

Like you said, it's very aspirational. And thank you for that. You know, thank you for even saying that and acknowledging that. But I feel that God's narrative is that he was going to use me in ways that I did not expect. He was going to use me as a vessel through the marketplace. It wasn't going to be a traditional route of how the word is relayed to people.

But he was going to do it in a non-traditional route to reach the people that may be afraid, that may be intimidated to step into the four walls of a church because the gospel is not just told in the four walls of the church. So I feel that my purpose and my destiny is to build the kingdom.

but to do it in a way that is relatable so people are not afraid and intimidated because there are people that have church hurt. There are people that are afraid to go into the church. There are people that say, you know, they say all types of things about the church. And so those people, I feel that when they see me and they see that I did not grow up in church,

I did not come from a traditional, you know, church environment where my mom took us to church every Sunday. We went to church on Easter and that was about it. And I did not grow up, you know, saved. I've always believed in Jesus Christ. I've always believed in God, but I did not have necessarily a relationship with God. And I felt that God had already chosen me and called me

But I did have to step in agreement with his calling on my life because I feel like God has called me to be of an influence to my generation and to generations beyond. But the route that I had to get to that place of influence, I had to go through pain to reach my purpose. And I feel that God used that pain

to bring me closer to him so I can get to know him, so I can get to know his word, get to know his character. And that when people see me and they look at my life, they don't look at my life as an aspirational fashionista, CEO of a company. They don't look at all of that, but they see the glory of God and the blessings of where he brought me from. And

where he has brought me to and how I still honor him and I still glorify his name, knowing that I came from that painful place to show people that you can take your pain and make it into purpose and that all things will work together for the good. But you have to come into agreement and knowing that you have been called and chosen, but I'm going to have to call you away from something in order to call you to walk into who you are truly destined to be.

So I had to change my narrative of asking God, why did I go through the painful loss of my son to God? What are you trying to show me from this? And that took for me to get into agreement with even being open to trying to understand why God put me in that situation. I had to be open because I could have done the opposite and gotten mad at God. I could have been down and depressed and said, there is no God, but I'm not going to say that.

Because I knew that God brought me through that for his ultimate glory. Because in everything that I do, and people say that it's so odd and it's so unique because they've never seen a CEO that talks about God the way that I do.

But I know where he's brought me from and I know why he's brought me from that to give me this influence. And that was to give him honor and glory. So when people see my life, I hope they truly see God glorified through me and not the material things and not the titles and the accomplishments, but they see his glory. And so I had to come into agreement knowing that he was going to bring me to a place ultimately for people to praise and worship him and for me to spread the gospel and

through the means and the vessel and the platform of hair care. I'm not sure if someone's listening for the first time and maybe they haven't heard the story about the loss of your son. I know you shared that with me before, but I think one of the things that struck me the most is that you, I mean, are open about how the grief and the pain of that certainly shaped you in this season. And I believe that that's where a lot of people

begin to edit God's narrative for their life. It's like God has a narrative before I formed you in your mother's womb, I knew you. There was an idea that God had in mind as it relates to each and every last one of us, but pain comes along and begins to try and like edit our story to get us to change our mind or to change God's narrative about who we are.

And too often that it's successful that we begin to believe the pain, the shame, the tricks and the lies of the enemy as it relates to our lives. And it's not until to your point, you say like, I am choosing to be open to the possibility that God's narrative still exists, even in the midst of this pain, that we begin to experience transformation. Do you remember the moment where you were like, you know what?

I'm not saying that the grief doesn't hurt. I'm not saying that the pain isn't real. I just have to be open to the fact that there could be more. Yeah, I would say that moment was, you know, when I was in the hospital and, you know, my son, he was on life support and I would go to the bedside and I would read scriptures.

And, you know, I didn't know where it came from, but I know that God was my source. I know that I had no one to turn to. You know, my husband couldn't help me get through it. My mom, you know, it was no one but God that helped me get through that. They even gave me the inkling or the mindset to go into his room and start reading scriptures or reading the Bible to him.

And then the other pivotal moment was when my husband and I, we started going to church together. Like before, you know, what happened with my son, we would go to church every now and then. Sometimes I'll go by myself and take the kids. You know, sometimes he would. It wasn't like a consistent, you know, going to church thing.

And when my son was in the hospital, we knew that we needed to turn to God and pray for a miracle. And we started going to church together. We started praying and, you know, they do the altar calls and we went up to the altar. And I feel like this lady, she was just an angel that came to me, spoke to me. I felt like she felt my pain. She knew something was wrong and she just prayed over us.

And in that moment, I felt the Spirit telling me at that moment, I need to give my life to Christ. So that was a moment that we decided that we're going to get baptized together. We signed up. We started going and attending all of the classes, even in the midst of what we were going through with my son. We knew that we were going to eventually take him off of life support.

But we knew that God is going to carry us through this. And once we got saved, that gave us the strength to endure the pain that we were going through with my son and gave us the strength to even move in the direction of removing him from life support and letting him go be with the Lord. So it was at that moment that we both got saved together that I realized that like,

I can't do this by myself. I can't live this life with my own direction. I need to turn to God. And that's when things started to shift, the moment we got saved. That reminds me of this scripture. People use it all the time. They're like, I can do all things through Christ. And they're using it to kind of like,

choose what they want to do and be like, I can do it through Christ. But the reality of that scripture, I feel stands so strong in your story, which at the end of the day, it's not that I want to do it. It's not that this is what I love to, you know, I don't love this position that I am in. It's not necessarily what I would have hoped for, but I can get through this if Christ is on my side and it feels like you are embodying that. How are you holding on to that mentality? Here you are.

I think for many people, they would seem like maybe you have arrived, right? You have this incredible company. You were able to have a nice exit, but still stay in a lead position to maintain the integrity of the brand. Like,

this feels like most people's goal. And yet you're still very young and I'm sure you have so much more vision and so many more dreams. How do you balance this tension of, I may be living most people's dreams, but I'm not finished living out God's dream for my life. What does that look like for you? Well, I think that, you know, I really focus on

And for me, it's really being intentional of letting God lead me and not necessarily focus on like what people think about me. And, you know, while I may be living out some people's dreams, most important for me is like, am I walking in my purpose? Yeah. Right. You know, I want to make sure that I'm always purposeful and my purpose may very well be purposeful.

someone else's goals or how people say hashtag goals. But I'm really big on like, yes, it's something that you can aspire to do or be, but make sure that you're in tune with who God created you to be and what is your purpose. And so I know that...

Even though I've done a lot in my career, yes, I'm still young, but I know that God is not done with me yet. And I do feel that he has taken me in places and using my influence to not hold what I learned to myself.

but to also give back that knowledge and help the next generation and to also help my community and uplift my community as well. And so, for instance, you know, a part of the partnership that we did with P&G, it was very...

intentional for us to create our nonprofit, Mayo Cares, in which in totality, Melvin and myself, we donated $10 million, P&G donated $10 million, specifically to help advance Black and Brown communities from

the aspect of mental health. You know, we want to create a positive, resilient mindset in our teens. And we started in the environment, the neighborhood that Melvin and I are from, right? So, you know, to whom much is given, much is required. And yes, I've done a lot, but God has so much more for me to now give that back to

All the information and the knowledge that I've learned over the 10 years that I've built this company, now I'm to share that information. I'm to help build up and lift up the youth, right? I have two girls that look at me and are aspiring to be entrepreneurs as well, like

I feel that my purpose is to also help uplift them and show them the ropes. And so I'm really committed to the next generation. I'm really big on, you know, mental health because I feel that the reason why Melvin and I have gotten to this position of where we're at today was because of our mindset.

You know, if I can contribute, obviously God is our foundation, but God has always instilled in us a certain mindset and the vision that we had, you know, before we started this company, we didn't see this. We were not exposed to that. That vision came from God.

But God had to instill a strong mindset and a resilient mindset for us to be able to have a strong foundation. Because when you are building a company, it's not easy. You're going to go through the criticism. You're going to go through the challenges. You're going to go through the obstacles. But throughout everything that we've been through with building our company, I always resort back to my foundation. And knowing that if God brought me to this point, he's not going to leave me. He's going to continue to see me through. And so...

My whole thing is like, yes, we can give anyone the blueprint. We can give anyone the roadmap to building a successful brand. But what's the most important is making sure that your mental health is sound.

making sure that you have a healthy overall well-being. So I'm really committed to pouring and enriching back into my community and uplifting them as we continue to climb. And I know that, you know, we're going to continue to do a lot more in the future. But most important is success is not success if you're not reaching back and lifting other people up. Where are you from?

Chicago. Chicago. Okay. And well, I know that you were at least connected to Indiana. So I wasn't sure if you were like. Yeah. So I'm from Chicago, born and raised in Chicago, but we moved out to Indiana. So our warehouse, our office is in Indiana. So we've been in Indiana for the past 18 years. And they were also in Florida. So right outside of Miami. So we're kind of like both bi-coastal.

So I've got a book coming out and it's called Power Moves. And the whole premise of the book is not just how do we show up in our lives in a way that allows us to make powerful decisions that align with God's vision and purpose for our life, but quite literally how power moves even within our existence. And so I would assume that what makes you powerful as a CEO

who's maybe looking to create quality products that also are affordable and help you to maintain the business is maybe different from the power that you have to have to show up as a wife and a partner in your marriage and totally different from the power you have to possess to be a good mother who's raising teen daughters who are going through, you know, if it's anything like my teen daughter, like all of the hormones and changes and peer pressures and stuff.

Can we talk a little bit about how power is moving in your life? I think this is part of the reason why we be burnt out and don't realize it. Like, it's not just that I'm burnt out from working. Like, I am 18 people in one body. Like, I'm a therapist. I'm trying to be a good mom. I'm also a therapist.

I'm also trying to not be the mom that I had sometimes because she would have smacked me. Like, let's talk about the way. Gentle parenting. Yes, trying to gentle parent with hard parenting roots. Yes, yes, yes. Can we talk a little bit about all these different hats you wear and how you have to like shift mentalities or even your heart posture and spirit in order to show up successfully in all of those different roles?

Yeah, I was actually just talking about this with my husband, like, you know, in order for me to show up, you know, 100 percent and in my roles and the many different hats that I wear, I want to make sure that I'm whole because I can't go out to these speaking engagements and give, you know, 100 percent transparency and speak with.

authority and information if my brain is so foggy from something that I just dealt with at home. So I have to make sure that I am, for me, like I said, taking breaks because I know that's

When I start to feel like brain fog or if I start to feel a little, you know, overwhelmed or uneasy or anxious, I know that that's time for me to like take a step back and like reprioritize some things. And I think that like, you know, people ask the question all the time, like, how do you balance? I think you just prioritize based off of the different seasons that you're in in life.

And for me, you know, like I'm going into graduation season. So I've been very intentional. Like this is, you know, prom season graduation. I have to be there for my kids. So I'm intentional about making sure that my schedule is appropriately managed, is organized. So are there meetings that can wait until after this season is over? Are there tasks that I can do?

or decisions that I can make, can I handle that now? Because when I go into this mode, you know, I'm going to be head on like in mommy mode. So if there's anything that I can do, I try to like just put my schedule in like buckets. So like if I know that there are decisions that I need to make, or if you guys need me for certain meetings that I need to be a part of, let's bucket it on this day and let's try to take care of everything that I need. So I know that when I'm

in this, in this mode that I'm focused and I'm in the present mode of what I need to handle at that time. So now I know that as I'm going into this season, graduation and prom season, I can fully show up for my kids and my family because I've taken care of my business endeavors on this side, because I've been able to bucket my schedule. So that's, that,

I find is what really works for me because when I'm making decisions, I want to have a clear mind and I don't want to be trying to make decisions for my kids when I'm thinking about business decisions that I have to make and then vice versa. So I've noticed that if I just kind of like stay organized and put my mind and prioritize in the different buckets that helps me manage and show up

the way that I need to show up present and be able to have the clarity to make the decisions that I need to make because I'm not intertwining both. So that's kind of like my motto.

That makes so much sense. I feel like I've had to do that as well. I think we actually had a conversation. Let me tell you guys, one of the reasons why I fell in love with Monique, besides all of the reasons that you guys have on your list, is that we've been trying to connect and we were...

rescheduling and things were shifting and we had a lot of communication things that just were happening amongst you know our people and our teams trying to align our schedules and sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't I'd have to change my mind or something come up and she finally called me well she finally called me she called me and she was like hey I just want to make sure we good because these things are moving

Yeah.

I love that you came and spoke directly to me and I got to unpack with you. Like my main problem is that it's so hard for me to say yes to this stuff because I don't sometimes get my kids schedule until like a month before. Now I know we have a presentation, we have a plan. So most of the time I'm like, I want to come, but I don't know if I can.

can come and then things are always moving. But just having that conversation, I felt like spoke so much to making sure that things stay clear and leave no rooms for assumptions. Have you always been, I call that confrontational, but like not in a negative way. I think it's like good confrontation. Have you always been that way?

No, I have not. I was at one point and I think it just comes with like growth and maturity. Like I would make assumptions, you know, when in my younger years, but I've learned that a lot of issues can be resolved. A lot of your assumptions and your thinking, because I also tend to be an overthinker. A lot of things can be resolved if you just pick up the phone and you have a conversation with someone. And

And, you know, I also try to make sure, you know, I'm not perfect by any means, but I do try to make sure that I'm also doing things biblically. And it tells like, if you have an issue and not saying that we had an issue, but the scripture that tells like, if you have an issue with someone, talk to that person, right? You know, if you can, if you guys can come to a resolution, then the issue was done. If you can't come to a resolution, then you bring a witness. So like everything,

Every time that I'm questioning myself or if I'm doubtful or if I'm like, okay, am I thinking about this the right way? Am I moving in the right direction? I'll try to find something as scripture to kind of back up my thinking or to lead me in a different direction if I'm thinking about something the wrong way. But that came with growth and growth.

maturity and getting into my word and trying to live my life Christ-like, right? Again, am I perfect? No. So when I was younger, I would make assumptions like, okay, well, you know, is she dodging me? Maybe she don't like me, or maybe we got some unnecessary beef that I don't know about. But I'm like, no, I don't want to be that person. I just want to have a conversation because my thoughts, everything can go out the window by just saying, listen,

what's going on? Why we can't never connect or schedule something? And then once you answer the question, it's like, okay, yeah. See, the enemy, you're not about to get into my mind and make me think something that's not really what it is because I'm going to have a conversation with this person. And that's exactly what I did. And when you said that, it's like, I completely understand because I do the same thing. I don't like to commit to things too far in advance because things happen and

I just committed to something. And then a couple of days, no, actually yesterday, my kids scheduled

schedule came in and they have two meetings the same day that I committed to something. So now I have to go back and kind of like renege on my commitment in which I don't like to do that. So I get it and I understand. And again, I rather not commit to something than to have to renege on it. So once we had that conversation, it was like, okay, good. I know it wasn't nothing that I

did because I used to think like, okay, well, if someone doesn't like me or if they're avoiding me, maybe it's something that I did. But that's the enemy trying to get into our minds and make us feel like we're less than or to make us feel like we've done something wrong when nothing ever happened. And there are people that have this imaginary beef with people in their minds, but that's really the enemy that's getting into your minds, creating this conflict that really doesn't exist. And everything can be avoided by just communicating. So...

That is like the number one underestimated tool. If you don't take anything else away from this conversation, please hear what Monique is saying. Do not create narratives in your head that are unfounded by facts. It is so easy to do. We live in a generation where making assumptions create headlines and clickbaits and people have hot takes on social media. And we're all just like wondering, assuming and conspiracy theories. But we have to realize that

I will say 85% of what we see on social media is someone's opinion or assumption. It is very rarely fact. And it is possible to create that on social media because that's how we live in our everyday lives. Somebody look at this crazy on the gas station. Oh, they can't have a bad day. They can't have a cop.

It's got to be like, oh, they racist. And they're going to follow me home. We have to be more responsible about how we utilize our mind to create narratives about other people or other situations and to recognize that

That that is power that we are dispersing to things that we need to be using to work on our relationship with God, to focus on our healing, to give ourselves discipline and the willpower we need. But we are expending our power trying to figure out what someone else thinks about us or what happened in this situation when we could just use our mouths and communicate.

Right. And a lot of it, too, is just, you know, a lot of us deal with unresolved childhood traumas that's just spilling over into our adulthood. Right. And if you don't recognize it and I feel like I work really hard on just realizing where the source of some thoughts come from. And a lot of times some of the sources of my thoughts come from childhood trauma.

And if you don't know how to recognize it and stop it in its track, then those thoughts then create those false narrative because of, you know, how someone may have treated you as a child. Maybe someone did, you know, dislike you and talked about you and made you feel some sort of way. So now when you grow up and people, you know,

rearrange their schedules or, you know, if you plan something, they cancel because you were used to that as a child and it hurt you as a child. So now you're thinking that as an adult, when people do that to me, they have an issue with me.

So if like, if you got to, we have to be able to look within ourselves. And I feel like, especially in leadership, self-awareness is like a huge thing for me because you, you will be able to really realize and pinpoint the source of where some of your thinking, your negative thoughts, those intrusive thoughts come from. You'll be able to pinpoint that, but it takes for you to be in tune with yourself. And once you're in tune with yourself, you'll be able to identify, nope, mm-mm,

That's the enemy. That's because, you know, my dad, when he when he was younger, he would always tell me he would pick me up and take me somewhere. He never showed up. He never showed up. And that hurt me as a kid. So now when people do this, nope, I'm not going to allow that narrative to play in my head. I'm just going to address it. So we are the product of a lot of childhood issues that probably haven't been addressed.

Okay. I could talk to you for about 30 more minutes. We're over time. But what I'm taking away from this conversation is trauma has a narrative. Pain has a narrative.

Our past has a narrative and our hope, our future has a narrative that could put a lot of pressure on us. And even our success can create a narrative. But what matters the most is choosing God's narrative over all of those different options and really seeking out God's narrative on every situation. Because we're living in a day we've never seen before. And it can be easy to get on autopilot.

Mm-hmm.

what 10 minutes of breathing, aligning with God, acknowledging God's presence can do for you in those moments where you literally cannot physically get away spiritually and mentally, you can tap into God's presence and it will add years and wisdom and strength and energy. So yeah, thank you. No problem. Thank you.

Okay, now I'm hoping all of the kid things calm down so that we can do more of this. Yes, more girl talk because it's so needed. It is. We need each other. Well, I am wishing you an incredible graduation season and spring break and lots of love to you and your family and all that you do. Thank you so much. And I wish the same for you. Take care of the kids and tell the hubby hi and hope all is well.

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Open your free iHeart app and search Politiken and start listening. Well, it's no secret that we are better when we hear one another's stories, that it allows us to grow and evolve and become better. And I am hoping that as a result of hearing Monique's story, that you feel yourself growing, evolving and becoming better.

Listen, I am giving up on Rescue Eve. You got to know when fetch is not happening. And I'm trying to make fetch a thing and fetch is not happening. Shout out to Mean Girls. I haven't seen the musical, but I do want to take a minute though and feel like we should close out the podcast with just some positive stories that are shaping us

the news cycle, perhaps some positive news that you are experiencing. So like I said, if there's something going on in your world, you want to brag on yourself, you want to brag on your friend, send it to me at podcast at woman evolve.com. I would love to toot your horn. I am going to close out this podcast with tooting the horn of Olivia Munn.

She recently announced on her social media that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. What's interesting about her story is that she went and got a genetic test where you check for 90 different cancer genes. She tested negative for all of them, including the BRCA gene.

And then her sister also tested negative as well. They high-fived each other and that was it. Two months later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. One of the reasons why I am making this a story that I feel like you need to know

is that at the end of the day, she had her doctor, I was going to say her teacher, her doctor did an assessment that was her breast cancer risk assessment score. And as a result of doing the breast cancer risk assessment score, they were able to detect her cancer early enough for her to be able to get treatment. It quite literally saved her life. The reason why I'm bringing this up to you is because I did a partnership with the Black Women's Health Imperative

because I recognize that as women in general, it can be very difficult for us to dedicate the time that we need to take care of our bodies and to check in with ourselves. Even more so difficult is it for black women to find spaces where they feel safe enough

to bring up the concerns that they are experiencing and that they feel like those concerns will be taken seriously. If you don't believe me, do some research on the black maternal health crisis. It's absolutely insane. Some of the stories that women of color have had as it relates to seeking healthcare that they can trust. However, one of the things that the black women's health imperative is constantly saying, and that is that there is a cure for breast cancer. It's early detection. And so if you're like me, I know you're so busy, you're balancing all of the

unless something is broken, we're not going into the doctor or we're avoidant because if something is happening, there may not be anything I can do about it. I want you to take seriously your health. We need you. We need what's happening in your life. We need your support. We need your courage. We need your joy. We need you to be the healthiest version of who you are so that you can continue to just show up as a light in the world and luxuriate

in all of the ways that God has assigned to your name. So please take this very seriously. Take the time to check in on yourself. We do not know the openings that the enemy will use, but we can make sure that we are checking all of the gates. And one of those gates is most certainly our health. So do some research if you're in a position where funds are an issue. The Black Women's Health Imperative have done free tests.

they've given away a free cancer treatments as well for those who have found something. So don't think that just because you may not have what it takes to attack something, if there's something there that you do not have tools and resources that are just a click away. So, uh, listen, I hope you all have an amazing week. I love doing this podcast. I love connecting with you. I

Let me see. You guys are getting this on Wednesday, but I'm actually recording it Friday night. I am traveling tomorrow. Oh, I told you guys. I have a busy week coming up. And that was my computer. Let me put on mute. I have a busy week coming up. I will be in Raleigh, North Carolina on April 13th for the Women's Empowerment. I'll be in Dallas for the Legends and Lily thing on April 20th. And then I'll be in Chicago on April 27th. I say all of that to say that the next three Saturdays, your girl is busy.

but blessed. Do you understand what I'm saying? So if you're in any of those locations, make sure you come and see me. Power Moves is going on the road. Cop your ticket if you haven't had a chance yet. We've got some exciting news coming about the Power Moves tour that I think is going to tremendously bless you. Holy Spirit, man. Lord,

I hope that something I said today has added value to your daughters. I hope that in some way that it has been what Jesus would hint or something close to what Jesus would say as it relates to their lives, their lessons, their journeys. Anything that wasn't from God, anything that wasn't from him, please remove it. If it was my flesh, my spirit, Lord, take it out. Be

Because at the end of the day, they can only overcome by your words, your spirit, your strength rising up on the inside of them. So Heavenly Father, I pray right now that your spirit would touch their brokenness, that your spirit would touch their deficit, and that there would be an overflow into everything that they touch, everything that they say.

every role that they are responsible for. God, I thank you for the gift of love, of wisdom, of connection. And I pray that you would allow us to cherish it when it's healthy, to recover from it when it's toxic, and to look forward in the future with hope that you're not finished writing our story so we can't close the book. Bless my friends, bless their week. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

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The podium is back with fresh angles and deep dives into Olympic and Paralympic stories you know, and those you'll be hard pressed to forget. I did something in '88 that hasn't been beaten. Oh gosh, the US Olympic trials is the hardest and most competitive meet in the world. We are athletes, we're going out there smashing into each other full force.

Listen to The Podium on the iHeart app or your favorite podcast platform weekly and every day during the games to hear the Olympics like you've never quite heard them before.

In 2020, in a small California mountain town, five women disappeared. I found out what happened to all of them, except one. A woman known as Dia, whose estate is worth millions of dollars. I'm Lucy Sheriff. Over the past four years, I've spoken with Dia's family and friends, and I've discovered that everyone has a different version of events.

Hear the story on Where's Dear? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. This could be the craziest podcast pairing ever. The governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and Super Bowl champ Marshawn Beast Mode Lynch are politicking. What does politicking even mean? There's bridge and gaps with no politics. Joined by their friend and agent Doug Hendrickson, it's going to be a wild ride. We can change the world podcast by podcast.

Listen to Politiken with Gavin Newsom, Marshawn Lynch, and Doug Hendrickson on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Politiken and start listening. Well, Bowen, the Olympics are underway. It's useless to talk about it as a thing that's happening in the future when it's happening in the present. And what's happening now is our podcast, Two Guys, Five Rings, is a phenomenon. Two Guys, Five Rings, Matt Bowen and the Olympics.

Follow the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast platform and watch and listen to every moment of the 2024 Paris Olympic Games now through August 11th on NBC and Peacock and for the first time ever on the iHeartRadio app.