The Heart Attack (Season 1, Episode 10)
01:29:09 Share

Thank you.

I'm

100 school districts in the U.S. with one in four students across the country using the program. So don't wait any longer. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at iXLLearning.com slash audio. Visit iXLLearning.com slash audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.

Save on Cox Internet when you add Cox Mobile and get fiber-powered internet at home and unbeatable 5G reliability on the go. So whether you're playing a game at home or attending one live, you can do more without spending more. Learn how to save at cox.com slash internet. Cox Internet is connected to the premises via coaxial cable. Cox Mobile runs on the network with unbeatable 5G reliability as measured by UCLA LLC in the U.S. to age 2023. Results may vary, not endorsement. Other restrictions apply.

Hi, Jennifer Simard. Hi, Papa Cheesecake. Hi, Mama Cheesecake. It's so funny. In the world of the cheesecake, this is just like the next episode from last week. But in the real life world, you and I haven't sat in the booth together in a little while. In a little bit. And I like that you were coined Papa Cheesecake. Wait, somebody called me Papa Cheesecake? Yeah, go check the Facebook group. You'll see for yourself. And then someone called me Mother Cheesecake. I know you just said mom, but I sort of liked it. Mother Cheesecake.

I love to like pop a cheesecake. I should be mama cheesecake. Yeah. No, but pop a cheesecake. Mother cheesecake. Someone called me queen cheesecake. So maybe we have to have a poll. I got to tell you, Cheesecake Nation is strong. Cheesecake Nation, hashtag Cheesecake Nation. Cheesecakes, before we do anything else, I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you so much for the iTunes and the Spotify reviews. Yeah. I don't usually read them because that world is crazy, but they've been so good and nice and positive for us.

And just to remind you, like, it really helps people find the show when you write a review. And it also helps people decide if they want to listen. Like, if they stumble upon the podcast and they're like, should I give this a chance? They'll look at the reviews and all the things you all are saying are so nice. So keep them coming in. Just click on that little thing that says write a review. And then write one or two sentences about what you love about the show. And it really helps us. And we love you. I like when you said that, too. One sentence is enough. It's like putting a penny in the jar. You don't need to put in a hundred bucks. Exactly. Exactly.

I mean, if you want to write a novel, go for it. And if you want to send me a hundred bucks, PO box number cheesecake. And you know what? I want to tell them the new listeners in particular of the format of our show, Patrick. Please do. This is not your typical recap podcast. Right. But it's true. It's not a typical recap podcast, you know, and maybe I'll imitate you at the end, as a matter of fact, because every week Patrick usually tells you all about it. But in each episode, we do do a recap, but then we do a fully researched deep dive into something from the Golden Girls.

- This is the universe! - This is the universe! Girl, look at the universe! We've got that full-time researcher, Jess, and so we've got like the little deep dives throughout the episode, but then at the end, we do like a fully researched deep dive. So girl, you're doing the deep dive today. Tell the Cheesecakes what the deep dive's about. - Well, I'm super excited because you know what? We've had requests for this. - Oh yeah? - And little did they know, it was already in the calendar.

We got you covered, Cheesecakes. We got you covered, everyone. It's the theme song. Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road back again. Learned so much. Can't wait to share all the juicy tidbits of our favorite theme song. All right, girls, let's get into the episode proper. Let's go.

All right, so here we are, episode 10, The Heart Attack. This aired November 23rd, 1985. It was written by Susan Harris and directed by Jim Drake, our usual suspects, really. Yeah, I've got a little bit of, like, what's going on in the world at this time. So the number one song in the country this week was We Built This City by Starship. You know, they're like, We built this city on a road.

So I was obsessed with this song. My sister and I used to do dances to this song. We used to do like fully choreographed dances. Did you have costumes? We were poor, so no. But if we could have gotten like a sequin, like a little sequin pants number, I think we definitely would have done that. But what I'm the most obsessed with about this song more than anything is the band that made the song. It's called Starship. And I've always known that there was like a lot of drama. This band had four iterations.

Really? I was doing a full deep dive myself on it this morning. It is too confusing to try to put into words. So here's what I got. The original band was called Jefferson Airplane and was formed in San Francisco in 1965. Jefferson Airplane became one of the pioneering bands of psychedelic rock. And then in the 70s, the band morphed into Jefferson Starship.

then briefly performed as Starship Jefferson, then finally just became Starship. There was a lot of drama. There was a lot of like lawsuits. There was a lot of people coming and going. This band had over 21 different members, including Grace Slick. Oh. You know Grace Slick? She sings that song, White Rabbit, and somebody wants somebody.

I feel like your character in Disaster would have shut that song down. Oh, definitely. Oh, my God. I just want to hear you sing all the songs. But I'm, you know, I've always been that way where I know the songs more than I know sometimes the bands that sang them or the individual artists that

sang them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I've been fascinated by the journey of this band and the fact that Grace Slick was like the co-lead singer. Right. So Grace Slick, who is known for that 70s psychedelic rock, she's like the co-lead singer of We Built This

this city on rock and roll. I have a question just because I need to know. Were you able to find if the 21-person band iterations, was it amicable by the most part? No. No, there was lots of lawsuits. And so it was like just a regular band, but people kept coming and going. And that's why they had to legally keep changing the name of the band. Oh, right. It was Starship and eventually it was just...

Exactly. The other one that Starship did with Grace as a co-lead singer was Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now. We can build this thing forever, standing strong forever. I gotta tell you, I love that song. Just to bring it back again, remind me, this is the number one song. We Built This City was the number one. The week this show came out. The week this episode came out, this song that is literally protesting the closing of live music venues in Los Angeles. That's what this song is about. And I'm not

saying that's not a valid worthy cause but that's what the song is about well you know what the number two song this week was what you belong to the city you belong to the city what a time to be alive and listening to the radio you know what i mean well are we ready to get back to the girls yeah let's do it all right so patrick and cheesecakes this has to be my favorite open of the first season so far why do you ask because the winds are blowing in cinderblock alley the pot

The birds of paradise are curiously still. And the AARP card-carrying extras are nailing it. So they've clearly just been having some sort of soiree because our gals are saying goodbye to these four randos, right? Bye-bye! And drive carefully! Bye-bye!

Yeah, and for anybody who doesn't know, Cinderblock Alley is what Jen dubbed that entryway. Because it's such a nice house. It's such a nice house. And then we're in East Berlin in the 60s. The thing I love about this is, like you're saying, it opens with them saying goodbye to a whole bunch of guests. It's not really a whole bunch, though, which is kind of curious to me based on the sheer volume of food they have. It's four guests.

It's eight people. You're right. It's eight people. And it seems like they must be very, very important to these women because like Sophia, we're going to find out she spent two days cooking for them. This party has been going on all night long. We never hear about them having friends outside of the four of them. But these people are like their best friends. They threw a party for them. These actors were so excited because they literally did get camera time. These are extras. And

Folks, so many times extras, you never see your face really. It's true. It's really rare that you're in the foreground and you get, you know, something that you could put on what we call your reel or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had a feature. I got to tell you, Lisa Jane Persky, the actress who played the daughter in episode two, who I was obsessed with, she told Jim Colucci, who wrote the amazing book Golden Girls Forever, which you should all go and get, that the only thing that Bea Arthur really said to her on set was just don't put your arms around my neck.

Yeah. So you're thinking, I'm playing your daughter. I'm going to like be in a bunch of scenes with you. Like you think that they would have a little bonding time. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. So I'm thinking that these extras were in the set. Like they were in the living room set when they called action to like take it away. They're in the set with Rue McClanahan, Betty White, and Bea Arthur, and Estelle Getty. I'm wondering like, were they kept over here and the principals were kept over here? Eventually, no, because like at the beginning, sure. But when they're going to roll, they're all right there. I mean, are they talking? They're with an underarm smell. Oh.

space you know were they talking who knows i bet betty white was like probably cali around betty white seems like she would be friendly this is why b arthur hated her i think because it was just like oh why does she have to talk to all the extras and make us look bad well they're all saying their buh-byes in different ways not the byesie byes from the but back in the living room we have a fold-out table in the downstage former bar cart area that's like

That's the flex spot of the set. Anyway. Can I just say, can we just take one quick second, pour one out for Dorothy's outfit? Yes, let's do it. Because I had that too. She's in a signature cowl neck. Well, I was like, I can't tell if it's a one piece or two. It's like a skirt combo with a top. With a tunic top. But it will say, like, they did smartly put her in vertical pinstripes just to lengthen her. Yeah.

She's so short. She's a little lady. She's tiny. You know what? Let's put her in vertical. Put her in vertical. Like the color of the outfit can only be described as sweat pant gray. It looks like they are made out of recycled sweat pants. The waist of the outfit is at her knees, you know? And it's just like, she is the definition of shapeless. Like she does not, who knows where her actual body is in that outfit. I have to say though, I sort of liked this outfit compared to some of the ones from previous episodes. It did foreshadow her future outfits. Yeah.

But you know, again, that sort of cowl neck blousey. Yeah. Guess where my hip bones are. She looks very comfortable because it's like the other women like Blanche is wearing this like beautiful purple thing. Rose is draped in a pride flag. I feel like that's a repeat dress for Rose. Oh, is it? I think maybe I've just

seen the episode too many times, but have to go look. The flower pattern. It's so colorful. It's very pretty. I was going to say, though, I've been watching ahead and I have seen outfits coming back. And I love that about them, that they intentionally have them re-wear clothes because they're not like... Yeah, you mentioned that in a prior episode and I have that here, like, good call, Patrick, because it is true. Like, you know, that's normal. Yes, exactly. And these aren't some red carpet women like, I can't be seen photographed in that more than once. Exactly. My God, I wear the same pair of jeans for like two weeks. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Do I know? On the cruise ship. Oh, yeah. I sent all of you people. All of you cheesecakes. I sent everyone pictures of me in a cow neck. I lived in that sweater. I know. It's like, what are you going to do, laundry? No. You know what I mean? Hell no. It's true.

So yeah, so everyone is just like saying to Sophia how truly amazing the food is. Sophia's saying she knows. She has no qualms accepting the compliments for how good her food was. And then we have here, I think, a way too long monologue by Blanche. And it's played for comic effect. And Dorothy finds it very funny. Did you see that Emma Jane eat? I could not believe my eyes.

That woman must weigh 275 pounds. She never stopped shoving it in. And then she had to talk the entire time. She just sprayed food out all over the table like a mist. I thought that my hair was hitting me like pellets. I got a piece of rock in my eye.

She could have put my eye out. Well, I always now think of you saying like busy actress work. Yeah. Because it's like Bea Arthur as an actor has two choices. She can either be like giving Blanche a sideways look about like this is really mean or she can just go along with it. Well, and to be fair, she doesn't really start laughing until it's about the spraying the food all over the table.

So it's less about how much she's eating as opposed to the spraying of the food, which I can get behind. I said, put Emma Jane next to me every single time. It reminded me when I was in eighth grade, I once ate an entire medium Domino's pepperoni pizza at Steve Evitable's pool party. Everybody else was in the pool swimming and I had like one piece and then another. And I was like, I'm not done. And then when I was on like my fifth piece, I'm like, I'm still going. I'm not full yet. First of all, it's a medium. I know.

Second of all, it's Domino's. And I've listened to TCO enough to know that Ms. Jillian, Queen Jillian would say that's not really a pizza. No, but it's an own separate category of food, which is delicious, but it's not really a pizza. Absolutely yummy, but it's not really a pizza. Also, later that night, they put on the Chucky movie and I cried and called my mom and made her come get me.

You're the perfect guest? I was not cool. I was like, and I'm taking my pizza with me. Oh, my God. But you know what is cool, Patrick? What? These ladies clearing this food and these dishes and the enormous amount of very, very coral napkins. I know.

The coral napkins, they're like the new Ming Vahs in this episode. They're everywhere. Anyway, they're clearing all of this into the kitchen where it looks like a bomb went off. I have this note that the set designer really went to town making it very clear that they've been cooking and eating and clearing. There's only eight people, but there are literally dishes piled up high on either side of the thing. Lobster pots full of tomato sauce, you know?

I know. I just love the idea on set that day. They're like, we're going to need more dishes. We're going to need more dishes. Exactly. Thank you. But Blanche talks about how even on a trip to Italy, she never ate as well as she ate this night.

Now, I spent a summer in Italy four years ago. I never ate this well. Of course, I never ate. Who had the time or the energy if you get my drift? No. Oh, Rose. Italian men are just the sexiest, most romantic, most gorgeous men in the world. And, of course, they just worship me because I'm blonde and feminine and young with a great body. What mirror do you use? LAUGHTER

That's right, because she was so busy having so much sex. All that sex she was having. If you catch my drift, Patrick.

I love also that this trip happened four years ago. Right. Only the second watch that I was like, you're not talking about like the summer after high school. Right. You're talking about four years ago. And also though, I love Rue McClanahan and how her embodiment of this character shows what great self-esteem this character has. Because her delivery, it was, of course they worship me because I'm blonde and feminine and young with a great body. And she has a big smile on her face when she says a great body. Like she just, just.

In that moment, she just genuinely, you know, you often say, Patrick, because I hate myself. She genuinely loves herself. Remember in the one where they go on the game show where she's like, this is Blanche. She's 40 years old. She's a museum assistant with an incredible body.

But then Dorothy has a great joke after she's done loving herself. Yes. Great delivery. You know, my favorite thing about this scene, too, it's very well directed because they all are doing different things. It's like Rose is over putting all the food in the Tupperware. Dorothy's working on the dishes. Blanche goes and puts on her apron. A repeat apron, by the way. Oh, is that right? Yeah, someone with the pink one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This might be a good moment to point out, and I noticed this before I looked up

why. This episode feels different from other episodes because it's very contained. It all takes place in three rooms. I can't believe you said this. I have a note that this would make a great stage play. Well, let me, do you know why? No. Because this episode was originally conceived to be a live episode. It was going to be broadcast live. So NBC had recently had a bunch of success doing a live episode of Give Me a Break. So they were going to do an entire night of live episodes. And this was written as a live episode. They ended up scrapping the idea, but they kept

the script. And that's why I have the note too. I did know that, but that's why it was... Yes, because it feels like it has to be able to go in real time from the living room to the kitchen to Sophia's room. Simple. Okay. And it really does feel like it could be a play for that reason. Because I thought this would make a great live show for us once. Oh, totally.

Just between us. Who's listening? So Sophia enters the kitchen. Rose insists that she sit down. They're going to take care of all the cleanup. Sophia says, that's fine. And I'm just like, I'm really noticing once again, how much dishware was it? And I'm thinking like, who was this party for? Right. What was this party? Was it a fundraiser? Was it, are they trying to impress somebody? Like for all of those events, they've had like Kate's wedding or this and that and the other. Those were a lot of people and we got cheese balls. Yeah.

You know, these are four extras. Right, exactly. It just seemed like it was such a big, important affair. They all got really dressed up, except for Dorothy, who's wearing her, she's going to wear her sweatshirt dress. But Sophia gladly accepts, right? Because she's tired. And she's like, you know, I've done enough. And she starts to question when Rose says, I offered to help you. She's like, you know, you're Scandinavian. You know, what do you know about cooking, right? And this is where Rose takes the joke. And she's like, I'm really famous for my Lindstrom surprise. And Blanche wants to know what it is. And she says, Pairing pie.

The surprise is, you think it's pie, like an apple, but when you bite into it, it's herring. Oh, what fun! That was...

I would murder the person that served me that. Murder. Well, in this show, I didn't want to murder someone. I wanted to stand up and applaud because coming up is my single favorite moment of the episode. Oh, my God. Tell me everything. Well, it's Dorothy who's been washing something in the sink and she turns around over her left shoulder. No. And then she turns back over her right and like. It's genius. So good. I know.

What I did was crap. She was good. No, you were perfect. She's perfect. It reminds me, I have two friends. My friends Jason and Matt recently went to Austin. And Jason knows it very well and Matt did not. And apparently, have you ever heard of the blue wave in Austin? Yes. You order a blue wave. Matt didn't know this. And like the bartender puts down a pint glass of water and a shot of like blue curacao. And you take the blue curacao shot. And as you do it, the bartender throws the glass of water in your face. That's so mean. I know. I was looking at your face. He's so like...

I know. I knew it was coming. And like Jason took a video of it happening. And when Matt got the wave in his face, it's as shocking as biting into what you think is an apple pie and discovering that it's herring. It's just as mean. It is just as mean. Oh,

But yeah, the cat's name was Lindstrom. Yeah. And there's a whole little joke about Lindstrom. It's like, oh, you named your cat Lindstrom? Yes, it was less confusing for him. Right. And then Sophia inexplicably gets up to clean stuff out of the living room. I guess she just can't rest.

I think it's so funny. I think sometimes Sophia's just had it. She's like, I'm not going to listen to these idiots talking about their cats. And she gets up and she's like, I'm going to go clean. Right. Right. And so, you know, the girls are all like in the kitchen talking about Sophia and how much energy she has and how like what a pistol she is. And they decide like, oh, we can't let her clean. She's in the living room cleaning. We got to go in the living room and like relieve her of that.

And as they walk into the living room, Sofia is like groaning and like putting herself down on the sofa. Yeah, she's sitting on the couch, her glasses in one hand and tapping her heart with her left. Oh boy, I ate too much scongigli. And you know, I have a little ditty on scongigli. Please give me the ditty. Ditty is deep dive cheesecake, in case you didn't know. But scongigli is taken from the Italian word, I'm sorry if I mispronounced that, consiglio. Consiglio? Is that how you say it?

S-O... Here, I'm going to get shit for it. S-C-O-N-S-I-G-L-I-O. Okay. That's Neapolitan for conch. Oh! Which is the type of sea snail. However, squingilli is actually considered a whelk as conchs are found in the southern part of the Atlantic Ocean. I remember collecting conch shells...

On the beach in New Hampshire. Oh, man. But anyway, I have to tell you, like cork cheese of yore, I had to look up whelk because I've never heard of that. And what did you learn, girl? And whelk, it's any of several carnivorous sea snail species with a swirling tapered shell. Carnivorous makes it sound like they are starving all the time. They're me. They're always hungry. That they crawl across the sand onto your face.

Like aliens. We've all seen those swirly-tailed shells. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those motherfuckers are whelks. Just so you know. If you're Italian-American from the Northeast or happen to be a big fan of The Sopranos, that wonderful HBO TV show, you've surely heard of the word scongigli before, but it's sometimes pronounced scongigli. It's a calamar. I guess. No offense, but that's how it's phonetically written in front of me.

but it is pronounced scongigli and is usually enjoyed either in a cold seafood salad or stirred in marinara sauces served over pasta. And it's also a mainstay at a lot of Christmas dinners or the Christmas Eve famous Feast of the Seven Fishes dinner. And that's my ditty on scongigli. I love it. And Sophia's had a lot of it today. And so Sophia, because she's had so much scongigli, she's rubbing her chest. And Dorothy asked why. She says, I got a bubble. And Dorothy asked if it's pain. And so

Sophia says, if it was paint, I'd call it paint. It's a bubble. And, you know, Dorothy's like, Blanche, do you know what a bubble is? And Blanche, flashing her ring, she says, I know what a bubble is. Now, Susan Harris, not every joke's going to be a winner. Not every joke's going to kill Susan Harris. She continues clearing with that very busy tray. Yes. And then Rose says she knows what a bubble is. I know what it is. I've had a bubble in your head.

A bubble is something that just sits there and presses until it's chased away by, you know what. No, what, Rose? A highway patrolman? Dorothy. What? A big belch.

You couldn't say belch? What is it, a Viking curse? Well, it's not the nicest word in the world. Right now, it would be the nicest sound in the world. I honestly thought Rose was going to say fart. Right. That's what I really thought. And I can understand, like, even me saying that word, looking you in the eye feels weird. I don't like it. Belch or... Fart. The word fart feels very strange. I don't like that word. But belch is a fine word to say, Rose. I like the word belch. Me too.

Yeah. Well, I'm glad we cleared that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The funniest part of this whole thing is that I then imagined Sophia as the punchline for the joke, letting out this enormous belch. And I just imagined like a Selengeti flying backwards by the sheer power of her own belch. And then I was laughing hysterically by myself at my office for five minutes. Well, there you go. You turned it around. Thank you. You made lemonade out of lemons.

Susan Harris, I got your girl. Smelly, smelly, smelly lemons. Oh, God. Anyway, Dorothy says to her, Ma, you know, you don't look good. And Sophia says, I'm short and I'm old. What did you expect? Princess Di? And I have to tell you, Patrick, I thought we could do a deep dive on Princess Di, but there's just not enough material. You know what, though? I will say this because Instagram served me a reel on Princess Di after you and I had this conversation. And I was like, they are absolutely listening. It was Richard Branson's daughter. He, you know, he's a guy who owns Virgin Airlines saying that Princess Di was flying in first class.

and overheard a baby like back in like coach like screaming and crying and nobody knew that Princess Di was on the plane and she was like please can I go out there and help that woman she's by herself and her security was being like no nobody knows you're in the plane you can't do it and when her security guard wasn't looking she makes a break for it and she runs out there everyone is freaking out she takes the baby out of the mom's hands and she's like girl I got you and like I guess Princess

Diana is the only person in the world you would just give your child to and let her walk away with the baby. The people's princess. The people's princess. Just kidnap my baby. Oh my God. She takes the baby up to first class where she keeps it for the... And she opens the hatch door. Sorry. And returned peace to the cabin. And sat back down in first class with a champagne and a hot towel.

I love knowing how twisted your mind is. I'm going to help you with that, baby. Don't you worry. Oh, my God. That is so funny. But she then, like, calms the baby down and returns it to the mom. And the mom is, like, crying, saying thank you. And Princess Di says, we've all been there. I got to tell you something else about this section. Princess Di throwing a baby out the door of a play.

When she's telling her, I think we should call the doctor. So Dorothy taps her ma's shoulder with her hand. Uh-huh. And it highlights just what a great swimmer Bea must have been. Why? This set of flippers, like a sea lion. Six taps. Just sea lion. Now I'm imagining Bea doing laps in an Olympic-sized pool, just getting there in six strokes. For sure. 100%. Anyway. Oh, God.

Knowing how to speak and understand a new language can be an invaluable tool when traveling, meeting new friends, or just even to master a new skill. But it's not always simple when you're bogged down by textbooks and structure classes. That's why so many people trust Rosetta Stone. Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app.

It truly immerses you in the language you want to learn, like Spanish, French, Italian, Chinese, and more. You won't just be studying English translations. The Rosetta Stone intuitive process helps you pick up a language naturally, first with words, then phrases, then sentences. Don't put off learning that language.

There's no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off. Visit rosettastone.com slash rs10. That's 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash rs10 today.

So Dorothy thinks they should call a doctor and Sophia immediately protests. She hates doctors. Dorothy sends Blanche off to call the doctor. Dr. Harris, the number's by the bed. Which I really admire, by the way. I would be frantically looking for the number. Of course. But responsible dot. I know. You know? I mean, that was what the world was like before cell phones. You know what I mean? Right, right, right. So Rose says the only doctor she ever liked was their vet, Dr. Clyde. The only doctor I ever liked was Dr. Clyde, our vet. He was wonderful. Yeah.

My mother wanted him to do her hysterectomy, but he wouldn't. But he was willing to do her lobotomy. There's a series of Rose talking about veterinarians and how much the family wanted them to be their regular doctors. And they always said no. That's right. Thank God. At this time, Rose is using the world's busiest tray to continue clearing. I want you to go back and look, Cheesecakes. Again, the sheer number of...

Coral napkins. Yeah. Just keep track of the naps. Which we'll never... We've never seen before. We'll never see again. It's like the bar cart. For the eight guests. Coral napkins everywhere. Look, you got to break out the good flatware when you got like these fancy people coming to town. So then we get a very over the top...

From Sophia. The pain is increasing. Yes. And Dorothy's trying not to overreact. Sophia's saying it's the pain. Dorothy's saying, what kind of pain? And Sophia says, the kind that hurts. Right. So Dorothy tells her to lie down. Yeah. Then it starts to get a little serious, right? Because Sophia gets nervous, right? She's like, what if I'm having a heart attack? Rose reenters with that goddamn tray. It's empty. She sits with it. It's empty on her lap.

And Sophia, you know, she does start to get nervous. And, you know, how do you know? How do you know? You're not a doctor. And Dorothy says, you're not having a heart attack. Why do you think you're having a heart attack? Sophia says, I'm 80 years old. I got Pavarotti sitting on my chest. Odds are it's a heart attack. All right. I got a little ditty on Pavarotti. Give it. So I don't have a lot because there's really too much. But if you don't know who Pavarotti is, you obviously didn't grow up in my house. My mother was apostrophic.

obsessed with Luciano Pavarotti. You know, Pavarotti was like maybe the world's most famous male opera singer. For sure. At that time, yeah. One of the most acclaimed tenors of all time. Despite the fact that he was an opera singer, he was one of the most famous singers of all time. Like everybody loved Pavarotti, right? You know, he transcends generations. That's how talented he was, right? But the thing

about Pavarotti was that he was a larger bodied person. And like, he's as known for being a larger bodied person as he is for like his immense, insane, unbelievable, unparalleled talent. And just our researcher dug up this, just as an example, he dug up this article from the New York Times in 1978. And it's called, the article is literally called Doe Ray Me Fat.

And it's all about Pavarotti and, like, his weight and his, like, weight loss, right? Because he was losing weight at the time, and he wouldn't talk about how much weight he was losing because, like, why should he? You know, and, like, this article discusses body size. Like, the way they do it is so completely shameful. At one point, they called Pavarotti the world's blimpiest star. Yeah.

They call him physically immense. And so the point is, despite the fact that he was this once-in-a-several-generation talent, his size was always a joke. And as a person who was always a larger-bodied person, you know what I mean? You recognize that. You take it seriously. You internalize that.

So anyway, like this joke on the Golden Girls is a classic example of the kind of like sizism everybody faced. But, you know, especially Pavarotti. So that's my ditty on Pavarotti. Good ditty. And the sizism. Yeah. So Blanche enters with a purple throat because it's Miami. And Sophia starts to grill Dorothy of the family health history. Oh, my God. This is wild. Specifically how other family members die. Dorothy, do we have heart disease in our family? No, Ma.

Uncle Mario die? Oh, don't you remember? He was carrying out the garbage and dropped his gun and it went off and shot him in the forehead. Oh, yeah, right. What a klutz. Didn't Aunt Teresa have a heart attack? Aunt Teresa didn't have a heart.

Uncle Nunzio? Uncle Nunzio died to get away from Aunt Teresa. And I was like, I'm going to need Aunt Teresa's backstory. What'd she do, Dot? What'd she do? You know? I've been off for you. We also learned that Sophia's mother died of old age and her dad died by falling off a donkey. I want the biography of the Petrillo family. Exactly. How exactly does one die from falling off a donkey? Maybe got trampled by the donkey. Kicked in the head. Any other ways you can think of? Broke his neck. Okay.

This Diana threw him off the donkey.

the point is none of these people have died of heart attacks. They must have like very strong hearts in their family. Yeah. And Sophia, I thought she delivered this beautifully. She's like, that's good. That's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. And Rose here, I think, has a great idea. I personally like this plan. Sure. That she has coming up. She said there shouldn't be heart attacks or cancer or anything like that. There should just be a certain age where you have to turn your life in like a library book. You pack a bag, you go and that's that. I don't know. I understand the thinking here. But like,

First of all, weren't there cultures in which they would have like literally take the old people out to pasture? Like wouldn't they literally take old people out to die on the hill when they just became like useless? Well, that doesn't sound like they have agency. I think the whole point of this is you have agency, though it's not suicidal. Can't you imagine like your kid being like, hey, mom, it's time to go for a long walk.

No, no, not today. Oh, God, no. I'm not ready. No, you do contribute to the household. I got to tell you, it's a very good point that you make, though, because my first thought truly was I like that plan. But my second thought was no good deed goes unpunished. Yeah. Like I'm getting political here. But any noble thing will get corrupted. Yes. For the forces of evil. Absolutely. God, that's dark. Oh, my God. Where's Princess Di in a plane when you need one?

I'm feeling very depressed right now. The age is like 87, let's say. You know what I mean? Like you're just living every day. Then on your 87th birthday, it's like, bye, time to turn yourself in. They take you, they march you to a guillotine and it's over. Right. But at the same time, part of me likes it because you're like, you know what? When I'm 86, I'm going to do whatever I want. Yeah.

What would that be for you? What are you doing at 86? I'm going to fuck whoever I want, eat whatever I want, drink whatever I want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, have a feeling 86 is going to be a good year. So now Dorothy and Sophia are sitting on the couch and they're just kind of talking about her health. And Blanche offers to like make a pot of coffee in the kitchen to sort of give them some space. And Rose just stands there staring at Sophia and Dorothy and Blanche is like, Rose. And like this

where it starts to take a serious turn. Like, they're really entertaining the idea that, like, Sophia might be in her final moment. Yeah, so they're sitting there alone, as you pointed out, and Sophia starts to tell Dorothy her wishes and also that she was her favorite. Dorothy, you were always my favorite. I want you to know that. Maybe I didn't show it. I'm not an affectionate person, but you are. Don't tell your sister and keep the silver. Okay, ma'am.

You know I'll probably see your father in heaven. I haven't seen him in 30 years. I wish there was time to get my hair done.

And I was like, I don't know. I think the rich one's the favorite. Gloria. We know it's not Phil. No, I think she's sincere. I think it's her. You think it's Dorothy? I do. And I love to, towards the end, the confidence that she's probably going to heaven. I was raised Catholic and there is this feeling of like, well, I go every week and I've done all my sacraments and, you know, and I've done a confession and I'm clean. I'm good. And the thing is,

And the thing is, as someone who, you know, appreciates my Catholic background but doesn't practice. But has moved on. I don't practice every week. But I love my history with it. Sure, me too. I was raised Catholic. I was an altar boy. I love a beautiful church. Yes, same. And I still love my prayers every now and then. But now I'm like, I'd be like, not as confident as Sophia. I'd be like, well...

We'll see. I guess we'll see when we get there. Can you imagine as you're approaching the pearly gates and you can see St. Peter and you can see the clipboard and you just don't know. But you're shaking his head. I know. Aw. Aw, sweetie. Aw. I'm telling you, we'll get a little bit more into this in a minute because this episode takes a turn for the religious, weirdly. Yeah, yeah. But like, I am definitely a God person. I'm definitely a prayer. And I definitely believe in like an afterlife. But I am Sophia. I have no question. I'm going to the good place.

No matter what it is. No question. I mean, I'm not prepared to say I'm going to the quote unquote bad place. Girl, if I'm going to the good place, I will see you there. Oh, thank you. I think I'm a spiritual person now. And I have more questions than answers. Who the heck knows? I think the thing that scares me the most is just sort of like a blackout at the end of a movie. Is it just nothingness? But see, this comes up later because Blanche in one of the scenes coming up reminds Rose, like, you're going to be dead. You're not going to know. For me, it's not the being dead. It's the being dead.

It's the dying. It's like that. I don't want to be in that plane for the last two minutes of the plane crash. I don't want to be on that cruise ship that's going down. For me, it's the dying. And it's also the suspicion. Like what you just said. How would you know you'd be dead? It's like, because I'm probably not really dead. You don't know what I know and that I can see.

see and hear everything that's going on, but I'm not really dead. Well, the other thing too is that you would think like if I were to die today and there was an afterlife, I would assume I would be so sad in heaven that like I'm looking at my husband, I'm looking at my daughter. Right. You would think if that's how the afterlife really works, heaven is full of a lot of really sad fucking people. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, it's got to be pretty great, as Sophia describes in a few minutes. Like, it's got to be good enough to want to go there and leave your family behind here. Because otherwise, like, I don't know. Otherwise, the liquor stores are full in heaven because people are sad, sad, sad. Well, back in the kitchen, Blanche is making what we'll soon see is not enough coffee for three people. Right, yeah.

And she and Rose are talking heart attacks and aging and how cold climates can slow down the aging process, which is a true thing. So here's the thing. I got a little ditty on this. Blanche is saying to Rose, you know, like, look, Sophia's 80. Something's got to give. And I'm like, does it, Blanche? And Rose is like, my grandparents lived to be in their 90s. One was 102. And Blanche says it's because it was Minnesota. In a cold climate like Minnesota, everybody knows you live longer. So I looked.

this up with the help of Jess our researcher and this is actually true and I said my deep dive on this is tiny because it's science and not musical theater so but like it is actually true according to a research team at the University of Cologne in France they've proven that cold activates a

cellular cleaning mechanism that breaks down the harmful, quote, protein aggregations responsible for various diseases associated with aging, including ALS. And they say this team has shown that life expectancy increases significantly when body temperature is lowered. Yeah. So that's interesting. My question is, how does Blanche know this in 1985? She's a goddamn genius.

I know, because this is recent research. This is according to Medscape. And yeah, they have found that it really helps with specifically the neurodegenerative diseases. You mentioned ALS, like Parkinson's disease is another, right? And like every year I complain about living in New York and I'm like, I'm moving to LA as soon as Daisy's 18. I can't stand these winters. Well, maybe not. I know. I've never been more happy to be from New Hampshire. I know.

But, you know, the other thing is, too, I was like, if Blanche knows this, make it make sense that the vainest person on TV is rotting in the heat of Miami rather than moving to Alaska. Listen, I have something on this later. Yeah. But Blanche is different in this episode. I'll say it when I get there. I will also say, because she gives us an answer here. She says, like, I would move to Montana if only they had men there. Right. And Rose is like, we have men in Minnesota. And then Blanche, in the most patronizing way. I know.

Grabs Rose by the chin. By her stupid little chin. Like, this is the look I'm blanching face. By her chinny chin chin. By her chinny, like an idiot. Farmers, Rose. Farmers. Farmers, Rose. Farmers.

So patronizing. But this is where I have the note that this episode really does feel like it could be a play. Me too. It really feels like a play. Yeah. Because it's cutting back and forth. So we're back with Sophia and Dorothy and Sophia says she's feeling like an idiot because she didn't really think death would happen to her. And I thought

that was such a universal thought. I have that too. This whole section is like, it's what Dorothy says later to Blanche about feeling like an orphan or when your parent dies, you might as well be six. Do you ever think about like your last day? Like, let's say I live to be 89 and I'm old and sickly and in the hospital and I wake up this morning and I'm like, this is it. Like today is the day. And like the world is still functioning and going on like around you. But like, you know, today's your last day. Right.

Well, my mom, when she was sick, you know, she died at 76. But even at that age, the strange thing is she said inside she felt like she was 12. Yes, of course. You know, so this is an extremely universal feeling. Yeah. That both Sophia has and what we later find out Dorothy has. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Because Sophia is saying like she's just not ready, you know? Yeah. So Dorothy's trying to comfort her. Ma, you're OK. You're not going to die. And Sophia's like, I don't want to. Who does? And she says, I would give anything even just for one more day. And I was like, Susan Harris, can we pump the brakes?

You know what I mean? We went from like, I've got a bubble to I'd give anything for one more day pretty fast. We just had the party of the century. It was the social event of the season. You know what I mean? Is it possible the old lady is tired? Miami's finest four. Oh my God.

But she does add the levity with, tomorrow I'm cleaning the closets. And God knows why. Tomorrow I'm cleaning the closets. And then, you know what, Dorothy? What? Death sucks. So we're back in our stage play. This is where I had the note. Back in the kitchen. It occurred to me at this point, Patrick, what a perfect stage play this episode would be. 100%. Because it's going right back and forth. It feels like it's happening in real time. So they start to talk about their wishes, like you were talking about before. Do I ever think about this? Well, we already know Papa Cheesecake wants to be sprinkled around the theater district and in the village. Yes. Oh, I love you for remembering that. Of course.

of course. But, you know, Blanche asks Rose, do you want to be buried or cremated? Right. And Rose is saying, like, she doesn't want either. And Blanche is like, you want to be flushed out the toilet like a goldfish? But the thing that Rose is saying is that she doesn't want to be cremated because she doesn't like the heat and she doesn't want to be buried because she doesn't like small spaces. And, like, this is where it really hit me that it's very hard to make the human brain understand that you're not there for that.

That either you've moved on to the afterlife, which I believe, or you're just dirt in a box like a lot of my friends believe. My big fear is that I'm going to like pull a Juliet and not be actually dead when they cremate me. That's what I was just saying. Yeah. Like I'm going to feel every second of the fire. Oh, yeah. And then maybe it actually just is hell. Oh, God. I was actually sent there. Oh, my God. But you know what? Being gay was worth it, Jen. Being gay was worth it.

I love that. I do want to say something else I love, too. In this section, Cheesecakes, go look. During this, Blanche is polishing three spoons for the not enough coffee. And Rose takes out three more clean coral napkins. And I have in big caps, I say, how are there any more left? I just can't get over it. It's my favorite thing. Anyway. Oh, what fun! Oh!

But this is all during, you know, Blanche is asking her why and Rose is making the list of all the items she'd like in her coffin. And this is very sweet because it feels like Rose. It's very Rose. Yeah. And she's like processing it in real time. She's like, fine, bury me. But if you're going to bury me, you're going to bury me with pictures of Charlie and the animals in the silver frames and the pictures of the children. And if I marry again, I want a picture of my new husband. Oh, and the candlesticks Mama gave me. Rose, it's a coffin, not a condo. Ha ha ha ha.

What I love about this episode is that everyone is processing death, you know? Yeah, their own way. Yeah. Like Blanche wants something more like my celebrity memorial service that I talked about. 100%. Well, I want a fancy funeral. I want a big parade with a riderless horse. And then I want to lie in state and then be buried in Arlington Cemetery. Why Arlington Cemetery? Because it's full of men. But they're all dead.

So are the men I date. And Blanche says, so are the men I date, which reminds me of that episode one where you're like, they keep talking about all the old, wretched 50-year-old men. Who can't stay awake for dinner. They've got to eat at four. Yeah, exactly. Now, Patrick, I don't want to go too far in the weeds. These are not

All the women. But I did do a little research on some of the notable women. In Arlington? In Arlington Cemetery. Oh, my God. Tell me everything. Did you know, par exemple, so Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Oh, my God. So as we know, she's the first Jewish woman appointed to the Supreme Court. Yeah. But her husband, she's buried alongside her husband, Martin, who was an Army veteran. Oh, wow. I loved this. Ali G. Harsha was U.S. Air Force. She was the first Black female Air Force Master Sergeant to retire with 30 years of military service. Wow.

Wow. In 1943, she enlisted in the Women's Auxiliary Army Corps and served as a physical therapy technician with the renowned Tuskegee Airmen, the first African-American flying unit in the U.S. military. Wow. And then last, I'll say Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis is buried there along with John F. Kennedy. In all of the times I've gone to D.C., I've never gone to Arlington National Cemetery. I have to go next time.

Yeah. I'm going to go visit RBG. RBG. So we're back with Dorothy and Sophia. And I love this moment because Sophia says, I'm really sorry I never tried acting. I always wanted to act, which I think we know now from our Estelle Getty deep dive that like she was an actress all of her life and found her like big success much later, like in her 50s. I noticed that too. That was like a personal little... It feels like they added that for Estelle Getty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Totally.

Also, can you imagine like Sophia acting? Because I love that like she survives this and we got seven more years with her. She's not going to the community theater auditions. Everything would be like her Sonny Bono. But I love that like, you know, eventually when Blanche tries to sleep her way to getting Lady Macbeth, that like Sophia did not audition for that role. You know what I mean? It's never too late, Sophia. So Blanche comes in. She says coffee's ready. She might as well say a quarter pot of coffee's ready. Yeah.

Dorothy thanks her and, you know, Rose is asking her, Sophia, are you feeling a little better? Sophia doesn't answer and Dorothy screams. And she's just like, the way that... It's funny. It's funny, but it is also like, there are moments of everybody trying to do their acting in this episode, you know? But Dorothy screams and she goes, oh my God, she... And Sophia opens her eyes and she says, I'm not dead, I'm just resting. And I said, Bea Arthur is really going for the Oscar here. Oh, oh yeah. That comes up even more later. So we have a good speech here. Sophia, again, an

And a very special Golden Girls, but it's really well done. Yeah. Listen, before you know what, I could be gone and we won't have said some important stuff. I love you, Dorothy. Just remember that. I love you very, very much. And I love you, Ma, very, very much. I couldn't love you more. And you too, heckle and jekle. Thank you for letting me live here. It was some treat.

You made an old lady feel young again. You're okay. Heckle and Jekyll. Right. With a little ditty on that. Heckle and Jekyll are post-war animated cartoon characters. Yeah. They're created by Paul Terry, originally produced at his own Terry Toons Animation Studio. It was released through 20th Century Fox. And the characters, they're a pair of identical yellow-billed magpies or birds. And they usually cause problems to others and to themselves with

bizarre antics. Oh, that's funny because it's like, I feel like it's like a heckle and Jekyll is meant to be like dummies, you know? I think they're just more like wacky hijinks in Sue. And like one of them, I think a heckle speaks in a tough New York style manner and Jekyll has a more polite British accent. So it is kind of cute that she's calling the two of the two birds because they are bird-like, you know? Totally. And it's not even the Henny Penny episode.

But she calls them over to like thank them for letting her live there. Like you made an old lady feel young again. It's like the theme of the show, though. She's saying her goodbyes. It's like everyone has just at this point accepted that she's dying. I know. I like it, though, because I thought about this, too, when my mom died. You know, you have two kind of deaths, right? You have one where you have the time to read and say all the things or you don't. Yes. And with my relationship with my mom, I'm like, I'm going to die.

with my mother, I was, as much as I hated to see her in pain for two months, I was so grateful for the time. It would have been much worse for it to be a shocking, sudden. Yes, of course. And I'm sure some people can relate. You know, some relatives, you're like, I hope it's quick. Yeah, because then Sophia says, this is nice to die with friends. And I said, Susan P. Harris, can you fucking take it down a notch? Like, oh my God, Susan.

And I loved it. Susan Elizabeth Harris. I loved it, though, because I wrote, this is the theme of the show. I know. I have that a little bit later, but this is why people love the show. This is why this show is universal. Yeah. This is why it speaks to gay men, straight people, women. And it comes out later, too. Yeah. It's all about the chosen family. Right. You know? So Dorothy says, oh, God, where are the paramedics? And at this moment, Blanche exits to the kitchen, but she takes the long way around the back of the couch instead of just turning around. Yeah.

with a direct shot. She's practicing for her shrimp moment. Shrimp. And so Dorothy and Rose take this scene down by the fold-out table. Yes. Well, but this is good news because Rose is saying to Dorothy, this is not a heart attack.

Heart attacks are much bigger. I've seen a heart attack. Charlie died of a heart attack and it wasn't like this. It was much worse. It was much, much worse. Like Charlie, like had a heart attack while they were having sex and then made her dress him before the paramedics got there. And like she put on a pair of pants and he didn't like them because they were white and he can't wear white after Labor Day. To which I said, I'm sorry. Was Charlie a big, I don't know, Judy Garland fan by any chance? Yeah.

You know, when she says, and he was all dressed when the paramedics got there. So then Rose says, like, in regard to the white after Labor Day, Rose says, Charlie was very stubborn and very dapper. And then she says, she continues, like, he told me that he loved me and then it was over. And that's

really hit me it was just like yeah because we know this was 15 years ago yeah you know and like he was young like we did we did the math like he would have been like in his early 40s or whatever well and to your point just a few moments ago like do you ever stop and think like oh this is the last day of my life I mean it's just shocking and like Charlie knew in that moment like literally going out with a bang

Yeah. But she said she put him in gray flannel pants, a blue shirt and a striped tie. And he was all dressed when the paramedics got there. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm like actually sobbing over Charlie. And in that moment. And he was all dressed when the paramedics got there. And just to lighten it for me, Patrick, I said that speech felt like, and I picked up my Emmy when the paramedics got there. Because like you said earlier, every actress is really doing some smacking in this. Because it's like this is the place.

play episode. So it's like there's a lot of very like slow, close-ups and quiet moments. And I kind of love that they're really using the space. Like we spend a lot of time in the living room, a lot of time in the kitchen, and we're getting intimate one-on-one moments with like two characters at a time. I love an episode like this. And if this were a play, you know, it would be that flat set and there would be an upstairs. Do I?

Yeah, it's the humans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, totally. And again, great acting. Blanche enters next and explains the delay that the paramedics are delayed because of the storm. And she's just saying, like, it's just going to be a while. And like, they debate whether or not they should drive Sophia to the hospital herself. And, you know, Blanche is saying, like, we're 20 minutes from the hospital. Like, the tree lines are down. We could get stuck. We could get stuck. And I was really, like,

thinking like what a horrible and it feels like a real predicament. Like the situation feels real even though we're watching a sitcom. It's like you're helpless. You're in this house with this older woman who could potentially be dying and there's nothing you can do. And even if you haven't been in this specific circumstance, we all know what this feels like. This moment of looking left, looking right and you're like, oh no, we're stuck.

This is it. One time my sister came to visit when we lived in a different apartment and her, she had a two-year-old son who got locked inside Daisy's room. And it was going to be like 10 minutes until the super could get there. And all I could think about was like, Daisy had all these like marbles and things on the floor. And two-year-olds are like, they're notorious for picking things up and putting them in there. And this door was not a door you could break. If I could have kicked this door down, I would have done it. But I'm like, we have 10 minutes.

And all we can do is stand on this side of the door and sing to him and play with him. So he'll be by the door and not be like going through her like marbles all over the floor. And like that is that kind of panic. Like that's the moment I was feeling in this moment was like there's literally nothing we can do. That's exactly right. Yeah.

This episode is brought to you by Experian. Are you paying for subscriptions you don't use but can't find the time or energy to cancel them? Experian could cancel unwanted subscriptions for you, saving you an average of $270 per year and plenty of time. Download the Experian app. Results will vary. Not all subscriptions are eligible. Savings are not guaranteed. Paid membership with connected payment account required.

So we come back from the commercial. We're still in the living room. Everyone is just, this is a great moment. Everyone is just staring at Sophia. And they're all like, oh my God, is she dead? Like, is she dead? They don't know. They're just hovering. So they walk over to the couch and they all put their faces, the three of them put their faces. They envelop her. Yeah.

And you can see what's going to happen. Sophia opens her eyes and screams. They all jump. Dorothy goes, what, Ma? And Sophia says, what, you're sitting on top of me. I open my eyes and see porous like that. I think I'm on the moon. And Rose very sweetly asks, did you have a nice nap, Sophia? And Sophia tells her that

This is where we find out she died a little. She went to heaven. I died a little. I went to heaven. Oh, my. You just slept is all. You were there? Don't tell me where I went. I went to heaven. I saw the golden light and some angels in white robes with harps. I thought I was at Saks at Christmas. But then I saw your father. Really? He was surrounded by women. He's in heaven.

And Dorothy is not accepting this. No. Because that's kind of a scary thought. Like, if you died a little bit a couple of minutes ago, like, are we really at the end here? Right, right, right. Rose asks her, as we mentioned, did you see God and Jesus? Sophia says they were busy. She says, I think I'll go back. And I have, Patrick, I have parenthetically ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha on two Dorothy lines here. And they're just normal, but they're so 1940s film noir to me. Where she says, I think they'll go back. Dorothy goes, Ma, don't go. Ha!

And Sophie is like, no, Dorothy, it's a wonderful place. I'm very excited about it. Ma, I want you here. I think I'll go back. Ma, don't go. No, Dorothy. It's a wonderful place. I'm very excited about it. Ma, I want you here. You're right. It's like, Caroline, don't go to the light. Don't go to the light, Caroline. That's exactly right. It is very like, yes, because it feels like a play. You know what I mean? That's exactly what would be said in a play, you know? And so it looked funny in this scene.

sitcom world we've established, it did pull me out a little bit. Ma, I want you here. Don't go, Ma. Don't go. But I love this because we're talking about Jesus and we're talking about heaven and we're talking about God and Sophia died a little bit. Now maybe she's going to like die all the way so she can go back. I love that Sophia is so quick to just abandon Dorothy on the earthly plane. She's like, no, that was great. Right. It's like Blanche not giving a shit if they have to get out of the house because she's getting married in episode one. But it made

me feel better because I really had the thought today, like, wait a second, if there is an afterlife and I die in a plane crash next week, I'm going to be miserable in heaven, right? But like Sophia's telling us, no, it's so good there that I don't even care that I'm leaving my kid here, that I'm going to die on the couch and they're going to have to deal with my body for the next 24 hours before anybody can get here. And there's good old Blanche with a very salient, well-timed question. Sophia, there are lots of men in heaven.

I mean, it sounds so good. It's so good because it doesn't get the laughs that it deserves. I think the audience was a little caught off guard because like, Sophia might actually be dying here. And you know, Dorothy scoffs and she says, I'd like to know. Now, I did a little ditty on near-death experiences. Oh. I mean, I

believe in near-death experiences. I've made a true crime podcast for long enough to know that like many people like this happens. So I wanted to know how common near-death experiences are. And they say near-death experiences are reported by about 17% of those who nearly die. NDEs, as they're called, have been reported by, this is wild,

Near-death experiences have been reported by children, adults, scientists, physicians, priests, ministers, among both the religious and atheists, and from countries throughout the world. And they say, while no two near-death experiences are the same, there are characteristic features that are commonly observed in near-death experiences. So these characteristics include a perception of seeing and hearing apart from your physical body, passing information

And so, like, Sofia-

ticks a lot of those boxes. Like seeing and hearing apart from her body, passing through a tunnel, positive emotions, encountering deceased loved ones. She saw her husband and the choice to return to the earthly life, which by the way, she's like opting out of. She wants to go back to heaven, you know? I'm sure. So I said, it sounds like Sophia had a real near-death experience. So Sophia says, Dorothy, get me my rosary. I was like, this is getting serious. Oh yeah. You know? And so Dorothy does. She's like, I'll be back. And of course, narcissists

took mine. She's still on it. She swoops in. Now that everybody else is out of the room, she swoops in because she's got Sophia and the answers to heaven all to herself. Listen, Sophia, what about men? Are there lots of men in heaven? Oh, Blanche, come on. Well, you asked her about God and Jesus. Oh,

And I love that Blanche fires back, well, you asked about God and Jesus. Blanche runs off to help Dorothy and Rose is left alone with Sophia. And, you know, this is where we start to understand Rose's perception of what she thinks heaven is. She thinks heaven is heavily segregated. She thinks that there's a special Catholic heaven full of nuns and priests and churches, a separate heaven for Protestants with people, cows and horses. Yeah.

And then a Jewish heaven with libraries and furriers. I was like, Rose, it sounds like she's thought at one time. Doggy heaven. I mean, very childlike. Dogs have their own heaven. She's thought a lot about this and like not about this at all. Right. And Sophia, of course, you're starting to annoy me. You shouldn't annoy a sick person.

Rose says she's just trying to help. And Sophia says, if you want to help, just shut the hell up, Rose. Meanwhile, in Sophia's bedroom, Dorothy is opening very empty Limoges boxes, searching for these rosary beads.

I want to say in this section that Blanche is very uncharacteristically comforting, not only in this section, but this entire episode. I agree. Like, you know, she's asking about men in heaven, but really it should be called... Which, fair question. I mean, I want to know. But she's very comforting. And this whole episode feels like the case of the vanished narcissist, you know? Like, she's so empathetic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I like this side of her, I have to say. I know. This feels like Blanche after a couple of Chardonnays. You know what I mean? Right, right. Yeah. But Dorothy is just explaining to Blanche that if Ma dies, she's going to feel like an orphan. And Dorothy's point in this section is that, like, it doesn't matter how old you are. When you lose a parent, that's like a major life change. And this episode is the first time I ever heard this line. It's

pushes you right up to the head on the line. Yeah, like you're next. And it's something I've thought of ever since. Yeah. Like ever since the first time I saw this episode. Yeah. Way, way back when. Yeah. It's very true. And it's funny because I don't really think about my mortality a lot. It seems like Dorothy does, you know? And it's like, I mean, especially, you know, Dorothy's a lot older than I am. So like, you know, she's at the age where she's not thinking about like it's going to happen next week. But it's like Dorothy's definitely in her final act as all of these women are.

Right. And also post-divorce, that trauma and like, oh, my whole life I had it planned and now it's different and I'm on my own. Right. Supporting my octogenarian mother. And this is where Blanche said...

It's like what you were saying earlier. This is why people love the Golden Girls. I have it here. It's the theme of the show. It's the theme of the show. And it doesn't even feel like it was intentional at first. It just feels like these people were brought together. And this is what people love. And I know this just speaks to the history of my people, but I always go back to why gay men connected to this show so much. Especially

especially during this time in the 80s when the AIDS epidemic was really decimating the gay community. But it was like people were just dying and there was so much uncertainty and so much confusion and people were scared and they would turn on their TV and there's this really funny show about chosen family and people loving each other with really touching moments of like, your family might have abandoned you either because they died or because they kicked you out or they excommunicated you and they don't talk, but we are your family and we are here. Yeah. It's so beautiful. I love it.

So we have a hilarious bump cut to the living room. And Rose, who has promised to be quiet, is now laying on the couch with Sophia, sharing the throw blanket. Yes. And droning on and on like she's in a psychiatrist's couch. They're like foot to head on the couch. Yeah. One thing Sophia asked was that you shut the hell up, Rose. And she's not. And I want to say here, look closely. There's great continuity in this moment. Oh, yeah. Because behind them swaying are those palmed plants in the background. Yes. I was like, OK.

No, I know. I have something to say about this in like the very final moment. But it's true. They are being very consistent with this storm that's going on outside. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Let's go for a walk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go right back in and eat. Like, what? I know, I know. So she's going on and on about the farm animals at the house, right? Sophia literally just says, if I die, will you stop telling the story? Like, I love how Uncle Nunzio died to get away from Aunt Teresa. Sophia's literally willing to die to make this story stop. Dorothy enters now, followed by Blanche. Yes. She found the rosary beads in the can of peanut brittle. Which is where she keeps them. That's right.

I love the idea that this old lady with dentures just like is munching on peanut brittle at all hours. Oh, God. Like so much of it, she's got to keep a canister of it in her room. And we're saved by the bell. Doorbell. So it's Dr. Harris. So Dr. Harris has finally arrived. Blanche looks to Rose before the door even opens and asks,

because she's wearing lipstick because she knows a man is about to enter. Yeah, that's right. And so he enters and so this actor, his name is Ronald Ron Hunter. There's not much on this guy. His career spanned five decades in television, film, and theater. He was born in Boston, raised in the suburb of Brookline. Brookline's a beautiful little town. Yeah,

cute. Like I said, he did TV, film, and theater. I love, like, which is one highlight from his career, he made his Broadway debut in Hamlet in 1975 with Sam Watterson as Hamlet. And I said, I don't know what is stranger, the idea of Hamlet on Broadway or, like, the Law & Order guy as Hamlet.

I know. That's a good point. I do remember seeing this actor on One Life to Live. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. He had a role on that for quite a long time. He's just one of those guys. He has a great speaking voice, too. He does. And it's funny because he died in 2013, which is weird to think about because in the show in 1985, he looks pretty young. I know. You know, like a lot of the male guest stars on the show are like much older men, but he's like very young and handsome and like in shape and whatever. And he enters and he goes to Sophia and...

Sophia is immediately giving him shit. Remember, she does not like doctors. She did not want the doctor to come. Sophia has fully accepted her own death. She is trying to die as fast as she can to get back to the endless heaven buffet. Right. So he says, I hear we're not feeling well, to which she says, what are you, a partner? Just letting him have it. I know. But then she's trying to be a good host because now she's remembering that they have all this food. Italian. She's got to feed him. Yeah. Handsome young man in the house. She's got to feed him. Dorothy, go fix him a plate. So he's like, he's trying to, you know, get her vitals or whatever. And she's trying to feed him. And he's like, I,

eight of my mothers don't worry about it and what did you have i had krepla and she's thrilled to find out that he's jewish and there's this really funny joke where she says why are so many doctors jewish and he says because their mothers are i have great jokes it's susan harris that's a really really good joke good joke yeah and like it sort of makes up for some of the racist things you

I know. Really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to know that on set he's like, I'm going to punch up this punchline. And he came up with it. I'm giving the credit to Susan Harris where the credit is due. But yeah, it's a really good, really good. So now he's pressing on her stomach and she's screaming. And like the bottom line is they get to like, what have you had to eat today? Because the doctor was like, this doesn't seem like a heart attack to me. Right. So the girls go on to list all the things that she ate. It's wild.

Wait a minute, she had the scongilli. And I saw her eat some sausages and peppers. I saw her eat some fettuccine alfredo and fried mozzarella. Are you kidding? Uh-uh. And then this afternoon she had the cannelloni and the mushrooms with gorgonzola.

Bring him a plate of those. Those were great. Rose, go. Oh, and the milk duds. Remember, you had those two boxes of milk duds. You mentioned the peanut brittle before, but no, she hacked down two boxes, two. Two boxes? Of milk duds. I know.

The disdain in your voice when you said milk. Well, because I used to like Milk Duds at the movie theater. I liked Milk Duds or Sugar Babies. Yeah, they're basically the same thing. One is more caramel and one's more, yeah, Sugar Babies are more caramel. But they really are hard to chew. And also, I'm like, here I am, you know, an under 12 year old. Yeah, totally. Putting away a box. But still, like, but...

I know. And like, in addition to all that food, she ate two boxes of milk that some me thinks she would not live to 80 if that's how she ate every day. You know what I mean? She says, though, the trouble is they take out her dentures. Right. Exactly. Yeah. But the doctor says, girl, you're not having a heart attack. Like, you're overeating is what caused it.

And by the way, overeating is a gross understatement of what you've just described to me. Yeah, it's a gallbladder attack, very likely. Yes, you can't eat like that at your age. You can't eat like that at any age. Right. So Dorothy's like, are you sure? You sure? So just to be sure, he's like, I'll go get the portable EKG in his car. Yeah.

Just to double check, but she's got all the classic symptoms of gallbladder. And I'm glad he said upper right quadrant because we never see her touch that area. But that runs in my family and it's for sure you feel pain up here. Like gallbladder shit runs in your family? Yeah. Oh my goodness. I mean, it's just like you should have known. It's gas at the very least with that list of food that you ate today. My God. But she keeps pushing the food and it's very cute. She's like, try this and tell me you're not in heaven. Right. So finally she gets him to try it and Rose is...

Isn't it a little rude for him to be eating while she's having a heart attack? That's cute. Imagine here is, wait a second, if she didn't have a heart attack, what do we make of her near-death experience? Like, is she just making it up? Oh, yeah. Probably. She's just straight up lying. Dreaming. We don't even know that heaven's that great anymore. Now, as far as we know, I'm right. It's full of a bunch of sad, dead parents. Yeah.

So now, whatever, the doctor leaves. We're back in the living room. It's just Dorothy and Sophia. And they're talking about it's a real relief. And Sophia's saying she thought I was a goner. She's like, you feel death under your body and a doctor comes in and says you're fine and you're ready to swim the English Channel. Which in Dorothy's case is easy with those sea lion flippers. I'm telling you, six strokes across the pool. She's across the channel.

Not only is she a Marine, she's an Olympic swimmer. But like basically, Sophia's about to take back a whole bunch of shit. I'm sorry if I scared you. Oh, honey, don't worry about it. I'm just thrilled that you're okay. And because I'm happy that, you know, I'm your favorite. What are you talking about? Favorite? You know, you told me that I'm your favorite. Please. What favorite? Are you kidding? I thought I was dying. Oh.

Favorite. Favorite? She gets up to exit. She turns around and says it again. Yeah, and I have to say, Patrick, I'm guessing they had a time issue and they needed more filler for the episode because I have heard that would have been the right ending for the episode. Yes, I totally. So funny. Her saying like favorite over her shoulder. Because I realize why they justified the cake thing coming up, you know, and tying it into the death thing. But they surely could have found another way to work that great joke in. Totally. Because what we end up with is not a

a really strong ending. Well, I wonder if it was because when you have the regular episodes that you get the establishing shot of the outside of the house and then you get the transition music but because the whole thing took place inside and it was meant to be a live episode you never get any of that. Yeah. So maybe they really did need another like minute and a half because that's kind of what this last like scene takes up. It's funny.

It's funny. It's cute, right? It's a good scene. They're in the kitchen. It's Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose. And they're just like sitting around the table basically just talking about like, wow, what a scare. And are any of us like really actually prepared to die? Dorothy's whole point is like, listen, if you know that you're in fact going to die, why should you be taking things so seriously most of the time? Like eating, you know, like...

I starve myself to the point of thinness. I could die tomorrow. I mean, why not eat the chocolate cake? Blanche says, what chocolate cake? Dorothy says, the chocolate cake in the refrigerator. And we have a perfect, great physical comedy moment by Rue McClanahan. Cup down, fists under the chin.

Mouth agape. Yes. It's funny. It reminded me of the episode where they were playing cards and you hear Ma go gin and Dorothy throws the cup across the room. Fan crash. Because it's like the same. It was as though like Blanche learned there was a chocolate cake in the fridge and dropped the teacup. Yeah. So she gets up and basically they're saying like, why are we trying to like be skinny? We could all die tomorrow. And she goes, and I was like,

this is the least Blanche thing. Like you're saying she's very empathetic in this episode. Suddenly she doesn't care so much about being like having petite blood cells and being like the smallest little thing in town. She rushes to the refrigerator, grabs the cake and then in one arm and then like a tub of ice cream in the other. Exactly. You know, and they're just saying like, we can do whatever we want now. Like we can have the cake and put ice cream on top of it. Right. I noticed Rose didn't have many lines in this scene.

It's really between the two of them. She's going on for it. Totally. So confused. But, you know, Dorothy goes on to tell a story about how this woman that she knew went to a fabulous restaurant in Paris. Yeah. She just had a watercress salad for lunch. Like barf. You know, because she didn't want to gain weight. And after lunch, she walked out of the restaurant and a gargoyle fell off the building and hit her on the head and killed her. Oh, my God.

I know. And you know, Patrick, there have been, I know it's a comedy podcast. Yeah. So I don't want to go into it too, too much. Well, there are stories and I'll just tell you one. Okay. But yeah, here's one. In 2019, according to Gothamist, 60-year-old Erica Tishman was walking along 49th Street at 7th Avenue when a piece of building facade believed to be a piece of lion's head gargoyle fatally struck her.

Oh, my God. I know. In New York City. In New York City. I mean, local law 11. Like, if you ever drive around New York City, you'll see scaffolding all over the place. And it's because there was another story. I don't know what year it was, but like a piece of the exterior of a building fell and hit a woman and it killed her. And so now every 11 years or whatever it is, like buildings have to have their fronts checked. Repointing and all that stuff. And that's why there's constantly scaffolding all over the city. Like, that's a real thing. Yeah.

Like, I always think about, like, the other day I saw a TikTok of, like, a person throwing a chair out of, like, a 15th story window in New York City. Like, that would kill you if it hit you on the street. Yeah. So, yes, it's used as a joke here. But it happens. But it does happen. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is awful. Terrible.

Well, you know, so they're all like sitting around eating their cake. They're like, they've got their pieces of cake. They're like dumping the ice cream on top of it. And then it occurs to one of them, like, but wait, what if we live? You know what I mean? Like we can live. And then like Dorothy's saying, like, I could live, gain 40 pounds and live to be 90. And Rose is like, me too. I'm healthy as a horse. Unfortunately, I'll end up looking like one. Like a cheese ball delivering draft horse. Yeah.

You cheeseball-delivering draft horse. You square-jawed cheesebone-delivering draft horse. And so you can see the looks on all of their faces as they're, like, none of them have had a bite of the cake or the ice cream yet. As they all change their minds and decide they're not going to have it. And what are they going to do instead, Jen? Well, Blanche says, let's go for a walk. With the wind still howling, look at the palm plant.

Exactly. That's what you were going to say. Yeah. In the kitchen window. They all jump up like, great idea. Let's go for a walk. Remember, 20 minutes ago, nobody could leave the house because trees were falling, cars are skidding off the sidewalks. And the show or the play. Yeah. The play ends with, are you kidding? After what we eat, we'd have to walk to Canada. And Blanche says, oh, Mounties. I love Canadian men. Outro music, to which I think all they had to do.

was just have them go to Cinderblock Alley, show the wind blowing, and then all run back to the kitchen to chow down. Like, well, we tried. That's a great idea. Because what I imagined in my mind really happened was they forgot about this storm. They all open the door and they get swept away like in a tornado. Like Sophia's farts. Just...

All right, girls. So when we come back after the break, Cheesecakes, Jen is doing the deep dive today. Remind the Cheesies what it's about. The Cheesies. I love that. It's the theme song, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for being a fan. You can't say the theme song without singing it. That's the thing. I know. Should I just record a single, do you think? Oh, my. A whole album. I want an A-side, a B-side. When is it going to drop? Anything for you, Mother Cheesecake. Just stay tuned, everyone. Yep. Be right back.

Hi, Patrick. Hi, doll. Hey, Cheesecake. Hi, Cheesecakes. So I'm excited about this one as a musician myself. Yes. This is a deep dive on the Golden Girls theme song. Yes.

Thank you for being a friend. Doesn't the song feel like a friend? 100%. It's personified, if this were literature, isn't it? It is truly like a warm bath when you hear it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's such a winner. So let's just dive right in, shall we? I can't wait. I'm so excited. We're going to dive into our deep dive. Yes. Oh my goodness. Yes. Yes. All right. Well, the original Thank You for Being a Friend was released by Andrew Gold in 1978. It was written and first released as a single, and Andrew is quoted as saying, eh,

It's just this little throwaway thing. Oh, my God. It took him about an hour to write. Girl, it's going to outlive all of us. I know. Isn't that wild to think that that's what like... It's like when Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet was probably just like, oh, this one's okay. Well, Sylvester Stallone wrote Rocky in a weekend. Totally. He blacked out the windows and wrote it. Didn't like Dolly Parton write like Jolene and I will always love you on the same day? Same.

Enough, Dolly Parton. Like, enough already. You know what I mean? She's so perfect. Do you hear the disdain dripping from my voice? Because she's just so perfect. I know. I know. Well, anyway, this little song, you know, this throwaway thing, it appeared on his third album, which was called All This in Heaven Too. And the song reached number 25.

on the U.S. Billboard 100 chart. Okay. I will say I've heard that version. It's a banger. Yeah. It's a banger. I like it. And on Cashbox, which I've never heard of, but there's a chart called Cashbox, it spent two weeks at number 11. Amazing. All right. So let's go back in time a little to little Andrew. Yeah. Andrew Gold, who created our beautiful theme song, was born on August 2nd, 1951 in Burbank, California. Yeah.

This is very exciting, Patrick, and it's my favorite thing to report to you. I'm so excited. So both his parents were prominent musicians.

His mother was none other than musical theater royalty, Marnie Nixon. Stop it! Did you not know this? I did not know that. I didn't know it either. Tell them who she is. I will. So listen, listeners. Oh my God. Marnie Nixon, she did all the singing for some of the most incredible, iconic films you've seen and that you know of. She's best known for dubbing the movie singing voices of Natalie Wood in West Side Story, Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady. Yes. She did all the singing.

all the singing. She was the voice of the angels in Ingrid Bergman's Joan of Arc. She did Marilyn Monroe's High Notes in Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Wow. She did Deborah Carr's singing in The King and I. Also, they became friendly and she also did her voice in An Affair to Remember. Wow.

I watched Sophia Loren in Boy on a Dolphin, which I'd never heard that. Boy on a Dolphin? Boy on a Dolphin. Boy on a Dolphin, okay. And I got to go watch that. And I have to tell you, as a personal note, I met Marnie Nixon. You did? I did at Gerard Alessandrini's apartment. For those of you who don't know, Gerard Alessandrini wrote Forbidden Broadway. That's the show that moved me to New York. It's this wonderful off-Broadway show. You know that. But if our listeners don't, it's this wonderful off-Broadway show that spoofs all the Broadway shows. But he was...

such a lover and appreciator of Marnie Nixon. My Fair Lady was his favorite musical. Wow. And so I got to meet her in person. That's incredible. But I had no idea when we were doing this deep dive. So this was Andrew's mother. Now, this deep dive really is about him and the theme song. Not anymore. I mean, sorry, kids.

It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Andrew. Yeah. Let's talk about your mom. She's amazing. And she died, I have to say, in 2016. Just, you know, not too long ago. Andrew's father was Ernest Gold and he died in 1999. He wrote the Academy Award winning song for the movie Exit.

the exodus as well as the scores for judgment at nuremberg oh that old chestnut i don't even know what that is and the ship of fools no go watch judgment at nuremberg was a uh film oh wonderful yeah and so it's like these like i'm like oh that hack like these are really accomplished my point is these are really accomplished musicians and the funniest thing of all like like the silly song that is that their son wrote will be the thing that is remembered throughout the rest of time right you know and made so much money yes but uh

This is something that Mr. Gold, Andrew, said, quote, in the Los Angeles Times. He said, it was clear from the beginning that I was going to be a musician. Can you imagine if he hadn't been? I mean, it's like in the stars, really. But here's what's fascinating. He actually never learned to read music. He played everything by ear. Wow. So he was a composer just...

just like truly a gift. That really is incredible. I know. All right. So he's pretty fascinating as he was growing up. As a teenager, he backed up Linda Ronstadt. Is there a more beautiful voice? No. I mean, Linda Ronstadt, like for the love of God. I know. He'd barely finished high school and she enlisted him to play in her backups.

Wow.

Wow. Some other really cool things. He played guitar and drums on Eric Carman's 77 hit, She Did It. He toured with the Eagles. Wow. I love the Eagles. He toured with the Eagles and Jackson Brown. He was a producer or a writer or a sideman for people like Celine Dion, Stephen Bishop, Vince Gill, Aaron Neville, James Taylor, Winona Judge, Cher, Brian Wilson. I mean, like everybody. I mean, what a life. I know, right? Yeah.

At 13 years old, this is cool, he met the Beatles at a fundraiser. Yeah, it was a fundraiser in his neighborhood, like Brentwood, California. And there's a great photo of him meeting Paul McCartney. And here's a fun fact. Andrew was a redhead. And he makes it clear in this short,

little video about the event that he was taken aback by how red John Lennon's hair was. Oh, really? Yeah. And I was like, oh, today's the day I learned John Lennon's hair was red. Totally. Wow. If it's okay, I think I want to post this little video on the Facebook page. Yes, of course. It's like two minutes or something. Oh, my God. Because I think it's really sweet. So after several years, going back to Ms. Ronstadt, he began his solo career. Okay. So his first solo hit was a song called Lonely Boy, and it reached number seven on the Billboard singles chart.

And you can actually hear that song in Boogie Nights. Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with that movie. And the movie The Waterboy. And it became like the number 23 single for the year or something in 77. Wow. So it wasn't just our song. Yeah. Here's another fun fact. OK, so he sang this song Final Frontier. Final Frontier, you may not know, but you know the song because it was the theme to the Helen Hunt, Paul Reiser show Mad About You. Oh, my God. Really? Did he write it? He sang it. Actually, Paul Reiser sang it.

I believe, wrote it. Oh, wow. But he's the singing voice on it. And not only that, the rendition that he sang was actually used as the wake-up call for the Mars Pathfinder space probe in 1996. Yeah, here's a fun fact. It made his vocal the first human voice heard on Mars. Wow!

Isn't that cool? Oh, my God. Because I'm a nerd and science and I love that kind of. That's wild. But also I have to say allegedly. Like, how do we know? That's true. How do we know? Because we the first Da Vinci, like Leonardo da Vinci was building helicopters. So honestly, who knows what happens? You know what I mean? So in 1978, as I mentioned, Andrew wrote, thank you for being a friend. It was only about an hour that took him to write the song.

But the song wasn't the first choice by the producers of The Golden Girls. This I knew. You knew this. Initially, they actually approached the studio for Bette Midler's song, Friends, but the cost for buying the license was too expensive. Yeah, but she regrets every minute of that decision. Yeah, probably. But thankfully, thank the crew guys, one of the crew members remembered...

Andrew's song and pitched it to the team and they licensed it. It wasn't that expensive. Like the key grip or whatever? Who knows? I just said, and it doesn't have to be a man, excuse me. Yeah, but the crew member, you know. Yeah, but someone on the crew remembered and there it is. Wow. And NBC repurposed the song in a condensed form and it premiered on the Golden Girls and Andrew replaced him singing it with a female voice and the jingle singer was a woman named Cindy Fee. Wow. I won't go into...

you know, huge detail about her since this is his deep dive, but she was only 23 years old. She was the voice behind

uh lots of jingles like the hoover vacuum cleaner wow pontiac cars wheaties i love wheaties oh me too i love the taste i woke up this morning with a craving for raisin bran like i can't even tell you about i get that sometime you must need some iron i'm sure yeah i'm sure i get that occasionally specifically raisin bran i know but you can see her she's credited uh in the golden girls credits i'm so curious to find out if she got like a buyout or does she make money i'm sure she doesn't make a

penny on it. No, she made some good change on it. Did she? She did. Good for you, Cynthia. Yeah, in 85, she was already at 23, one of LA's most in-demand session singers. Wow. Let's see, the musical coordinator, Scott Gale, remembers that day in the summer of 1985. And, you know, she was like, I'm really busy, so I'll just do this in one take. And she literally did. I mean, and it sounds perfect. Yeah, she did it in one take.

That's amazing. Yeah, and like no one knew the show was going to be a big deal and she nailed it and she was out of there and it was perfect. No notes, no notes, Cynthia. No notes, no notes, Cynthia. And the future of the song was long lasting. Patrick, you know this. The song was reused for the Golden Palace as the theme song. Yeah.

But it was also featured as a dedication to Casey Kasem on his final America's Top 2010 broadcast. Oh, my goodness. We love Casey Kasem. We love Casey Kasem. It was played at the end of the World Series game, Game 5 in 1988 and Game 4 in 1990. It was played at the end of the Super Bowl one year. It was used in episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Oh.

The Simpsons, Dancing with the Stars, Family Guy, New Girl, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. I mean, so many shows. It was used in tons of ads. Yeah. Worldwide, like this New York lottery and this German ad for Toyota. So like they're making change on this. It's so funny because I can't imagine anyone hears that song and doesn't just immediately think of the Golden Girls.

I know. You know? I know. But you know how they sometimes, I'd be curious to go look at some of these videos because you know how ads will all sometimes change the lyrics? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Some of them are like, there was a UK ad for KFC, Arby's. Oh, Arby's was to commemorate end of Jon Stewart's run at The Daily Show. I've also heard your friend Bernadette Peters has a cover of the song famously. You know what?

She's my friend. But I did not know that. I've got to go listen. I've got to go listen. I just have to say this too. The last two ads that I had in this, because I love them, the Radio City Rockettes, they had an ad with this song. Oh, really? And Campbell's Soup as well. But...

But this is probably my favorite fun fact of the song. Back in 2010, Betty White hosted SNL. Oh, yeah. It was Mother's Day weekend. And at one point in the show, the cast of SNL, they made a tribute video for her. And in the video, they all sing the theme song. Oh, my God. But this is the kicker. At the end of the video, we see Betty's reaction. And she thanks them, but says she prefers her rendition. And at that point, they show her in the middle of a head-banging mosh pit with a

ski mask on, dressed all in black, rocking out to a death metal version of the song. And I also want to post that video link on the Facebook page. Absolutely. Oh, my God. This is also, this is weird. There's a thank you for being a friend world record. Did you know that? Oh, I've heard of this. Yeah. It's a bit anticlimactic, but nonetheless, here it is. There's this man named Elliot Glazer, and he currently holds a world record for reciting the lyrics to the theme song, The Most Times, all

while the actual song plays. So in other words, during the duration of the theme song,

He recited the lyrics really fast, four times. And no one has beaten him. And we're not really sure why it's a record, but it looks like a fun game, which makes us think like, Patrick, how many times do you think you could sing the song over and over again before the credits end? Like, I don't have high hopes because we can't even say the lanai. No, the lanai. I'm not good at like the fast, like I'm a fast talker naturally, but if you give me a thing to recite quickly, I can't do it. So you would fail. I would fail. You wouldn't beat him. No question. I know what my strengths are. This is not one of them.

Oh, my God. Well, there's also a viral gospel remix of the song. Oh, wow. There's in 2016, this YouTuber with the handle Finally Aaron, he released a clip of himself performing this gospel remix. And at first it was a shorter clip, but it went on to be so viral and so gloriously received that.

You know, they all pressured him. Fans pressured him to make a full version. You've seen this. And people have copied it. Yeah. I mean, it's really good. It's like this has like almost seven million views, basically. Yeah. It's really, really good. There's not only the original version by Andrew Gold. There's an extended version of the real hit single by Cindy Fee, our girl Cynthia. Yeah. She has an extended version as well. Wow. Yeah.

It's about a minute longer than the version that's used on the show. I remember, and I said this to you, Patrick, when I was watching it in reruns, they actually cut it down even further. Oh, right. Yeah. Like, I don't know. I guess they wanted more commercial break time or something, which is weird. Knowing that you have these extra versions out there, you can go and listen and it gives you that little nostalgia time. It's maybe perfect for the days we just want to binge watch the show or anything you can get with it. Yes.

Back to our sweet Andrew, though. This is... I found this extremely tragic. It's always tragic when someone dies, but he was young. Oh, no. He was only 59 years old. How'd he die? His family said that he had renal cancer, and he'd been responding well to treatment, but that the cause of death might have been a heart attack. Oh, poor guy. And like I said, his dad died in 99. His mother, Marnie, our gal, Marnie, she died...

In 2016. So she outlived him by five years. Yeah. And you're a parent, Patrick, but my mom always said, like, no parent should outlive their child. That's just it's against the laws of nature. Yes. So I am sad to report that he died that young, probably from a heart attack from complications of this cancer. Oh, yeah.

But look what a legacy, though. It lives on. To leave behind. I mean, for sure. Forever and ever. And that's our little deep dive. Oh, thanks for the deep dive. Jenny Poo, that was so great. Thanks.

Cheesecakes, we love you. Thank you so much for listening. I cannot believe we're at episode 10 already. This is crazy. I can't believe it either. And I'm so delighted. I'm having the best time with you, Patrick. Me too. Cheesecakes, do us a favor. Keep those Apple podcasts and Spotify reviews coming. Just do that thing where you click on write a review. It really helps. I read them. It really makes my day. We're at almost 1,000. When we get to 1,000, I will stop asking every time.

We're almost at 1,000. And you know what else? I know Patrick is dying to ask you. He's going to ask you to join our Facebook group. Can you remember, Mother Cheesecake, what it's called? Let me try my best. Okay. It's Golden Girls Deep Dive Podcast Discussion Group. Yes. I did it. You hear this, Cheesecakes? We'll be over 2,000 members. And it's so fun. We're in there all the time. People are making friends. They're sharing the memes. But they're also sharing their lives. It's just a fun place on the internet to go and hang. You know what? You can be a lurker. You don't have to post anything if you don't want to. That's true. Lurk away. Lurk.

Lurk. Lurk on the lanai. Can we get merch that says lurk on the lanai? I love that. The lanai. The lanai. It's a little peeping Tom-ish, but I'm into it. You know what? It's just us. Yeah.

And lastly, Cheesecakes, follow our social media. It's at Golden Girls Deep Dive on Instagram and Twitter. Aaron is making reels all the funny moments from the episodes. He's turning them into fabulous videos cut with like actual clips from the TV show itself. Yeah, and like photos. He'll highlight photos that we talk about on the episode. He's one of those young people with video editing skills. You mean he's not a Luddite like us? Like us? Papa?

Oh, mother. Cheesecakes, we'll see you next week. We're having so much fun. Oh, do you want to tell them to be a friend? More than you know. Cheesecakes, I want to thank you for being a friend by telling a friend about our podcast. I'm saying it because it's so pathetic. I just love it so much. Well, you are pathetic, but that's okay. That's okay. We love you. Bye, Cheesecakes. Bye.