The Rise of Matt Rife | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 207
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We have got a huge announcement. Tommy, you want me to tell him? Should I tell it? No, I'll tell him. No, let me tell it. We'll both tell him at the same time. You ready? Saturday, February 10th. Me and Big Tommy Bunz. We will be at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, California.

Nevada. One show, February 10th, 2024. Bert Kreischer and me, the two bears. Presale starts Wednesday at 10 a.m. And the code word is bears. Use the code bears to get your tickets before general on sale starts this Friday at 10 a.m. This show will sell out. Bert Kreischer and I together. If you're coming to the big game,

Bet on your team now and bet on your boys. We will see you there. I can't wait. This week on Two Bears, One Cave. Chicks yell out, f*** me, Tom, too, at my shows. But when we turn the lights on, it looked like a f***ing basset hound.

Oh, you're never going to be able to perform in Atlanta again. Promise? Wow. HBO is like, are you trans and missing a limb? I've had my nipple bitten. Women will ask, can I grab your d***? I think we have very different fan bases. I'll trade you. 100% Excuse me.

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on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Normally, when you tune in, you're horrified to see my co-host and his disgusting face. But today, we have a treat for you. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the very handsome Matt Reif.

We have a studio audience? There's an audience here, man. What? Oh, thanks for having me, man. Yeah, thanks for coming in. We were talking and you're like, I thought we were podcasting. Did we talk for like 20 minutes before this? I know, I know. No, I'm super excited that you're here. It's been, you know, I guess it's obvious to say, but it's probably been a pretty wild ride for you in the last... When did things like really change? Because I remember...

Okay, I'll tell you, like, it's always from different perspectives. I remember, like, I was in a vehicle on tour, and my photographer...

was in the back and he goes uh you know matt rife and i was like yeah he's like yeah you've seen like his crowd work and i was like no he's like you haven't seen the clips i was like the fuck are you talking about i had no idea what he's talking about and he's like here check this out so he sends me a clip and i was like yeah it's really good and then i look and it says like 19 million views i was like what the fuck oh yeah and then it was like i looked at the next one it said like 25 million views i was like what is going on like it was an explosion

And then it was like one of those things. It's like somebody points something out. Then I just started to hear, I started to hear your name more. People will be like, Oh, you do, you know, stranger, you do comedy. Do you know Matt Rife? I was like, yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? Meanwhile, you've been on Netflix like four times. It's like, Oh, they're keep mentioning his name. And then I saw like, I think I went to your page and I, I had seen you announce, I think your millionth,

follower on Instagram or something like that. I saw it like maybe like scroll down a little bit and then it was like 2 million, 3 million. I was like, this jump is like very, very, it's growing in the TikTok thing. So like your life a year ago, a year ago, let's say August, September of last year, is it still, is it, has this already begun? I'm trying to figure out. No, it was August of last year was the first time that like

I started to get a bit of a following when people would start to come out to a show. July of last year, so 13 months ago, I was doing... I was maybe profiting $150 to fly myself out to do a one-nighter in Philly that like 80 people would show up to. A year ago. So this is the part of it that like when we were texting a little while back about all the stuff going on, I was like, you know, I was like, don't lose your mind. Don't go crate. Like, don't flip out because...

It feels like the craziest thing for me is the rate of...

Not that it's happening. Oh, yeah. It's just so fast. Oh, incredibly. It's so fast, you know? You want to grab all of it while you can. It's so scary because I still feel like in two months from now, I'm back to begging people to please come see me at a one night or in the middle of nowhere. Which is the normal way to, everyone can't believe it's happening. But most of the ascent, the growth for people is this very gradual, you know what I mean? I remember, it's not like that for everybody, but I remember for me, the

The first time I realized that it happens differently for people, because you only know your own path. So like, you know, I had a special come out. I shot one in 2013, came out in 2014. And it came out like March of that 14. Was your first special with Netflix? Yeah. Okay. I thought so. So it was like 2014. It comes out by the end of the year. I'm selling out clubs. I was like, oh, this is rad. But it's like, that's what it was. Yeah.

The next year starts, I'm doing rock clubs. And I do that for like a tour. Well, can I ask this? When you first started to sell out the comedy clubs for a weekend, in your mind, were you like, oh, I've made it? Like this is the epitome of what I needed to be in my career? I was so excited that that was happening, right? Like I was like, I can't believe this is happening. I'm like 34, 35 or something. And I'm like...

I'm like, oh my God, I'm finally getting like, you know, like a check that you're like, oh, I can actually do something with this. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I think I was like you where I was like book, book it all, like book everything. Yeah. And I was also doing the thing where I would go book, like you learned that like agents hate booking one nighters, like at clubs and stuff. They're like, just do the weekend. But sometimes I would be like, yo, this is like,

fucking Lafayette yeah I go just give me one night and they would go like nah they don't want to do it and you realize why because the club goes we don't want them for a night we want them for like three nights yeah

But I would like, I would insist, like, I want to do that. And then, and then I go on the next night, put me in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Yeah. Route it all together. Route it all together. And they were like, what? Because I was like, I can get a hundred percent or close to it of all these one-nighters and route together this, this week that makes it worth it. And then they go, oh, it becomes undeniable because you go, it all worked. Yeah. They don't want to do it at first. They just want you to, they want the, cause the club goes, put them here, Cleveland,

Three nights, six shows. Yeah, he's here for the weekend. That's it. That's all they want to do. It's easier for them. Yeah. If you do one night, then who are we going to get for the other night? Yeah. Because this whole thing. But it was like this gradual thing. And then after the Rock Clubs tour, I did another special. It comes out. And then I'm moving into small theaters. At the same time for that second special, I remember I ran into Ali Wong. And her first special came out, which was a monster special. Monster special. Yeah.

It did bananas numbers. And so she went from, I'm not selling tickets. And I didn't realize that at first. She was like, hey, like, you know, can I ask you some questions? I was like, yeah. I was like, so here's what's going to happen. Because I'm going from my experience. I was like, you'll probably start to like sell out clubs. And then you move into, you know, like maybe like theaters. And she's like, yeah, I'm doing, yeah.

like Union Hall in New York. I was like, oh, that's great. She's like, I'm doing like nine shows there. Jesus Christ. I was like, oh, I don't know. I don't think that we should... I'm not the person to give you advice. I think we have a different thing going on. I was like, what the fuck? She was like, yeah, yeah. Dude, she exploded, man. Exploded. Exploded. Now she's up for like multiple Emmys for her new show. I mean, yeah. And her people don't know that like... So, Ally, she's open about it, so I'm not revealing. She doesn't like huge venues. Really? No. So like...

She could do a bunch of arenas. When she did San Francisco, which is her hometown, they were like, hey, do the Oracle Arena. She was like, fuck no. She did the Masonic. It's an awesome theater. She did 19 there. 19? Yeah.

Or like in L.A.? Too many. I know. She's like, no. She just parks. She's just like, I'll just take the family and hang out there for three weeks. Jesus. Well, I mean, I guess if you're just using it as a residency, you can see the space. Did she do 19 in a row? I mean, like over the course of like probably a few days off. Wiltern in L.A., great venue.

14, 15, yeah. Oh my God. Where you're like, just do the fucking staples. And she's like, no, because she doesn't like the show, which I get. She's done big ones. She doesn't even like 5,000 seaters. See, I like both extremes. I like a comedy club and I like the bigger arenas. The in-between is not my comfort zone, for sure. Because it's just intimate enough that people will still yell out shit.

In my experience, the bigger theaters, I got like a 5,000, 6,000, 7,000 one, is big enough that nobody wants to look fucking stupid by trying to yell out ruin the show. That's very true. Or they know they're so far away, they don't want to ruin it. Yeah. And comedy clubs, I like it because it's so intimate. They're like, I can dive into some crowd work if I really want to do it. Yeah. So how are you... Okay, we got a little sidetracked. No, no, no. So...

This is like less than a year. What are you feeling like with going from I'm making 150 bucks to fly for a one nighter to everybody knows your name. Everybody's saying it. You announce a tour that sells out in 48 hours. I mean, you're turning down attitude. Like, what does it feel like?

It feels fucking exhausting to be honest. It's the first time in my life that I ever had to realize like be careful what you wish for. Right. Because the reality can be so much harder than what you think your dream scenario is going to be. Sure. It doesn't feel real at all. Right. It feels like I'm getting a lucky experience. Right. Which sucks a little bit. Like I don't, I definitely don't get to enjoy it as much as I feel like I should be. You're not like sitting in it yet though. No, it doesn't feel like, all of my friends are like, dude, you did the thing. Yeah. Yo.

You made it. Yeah, yeah. As long as you don't fuck up, you're not going to have to worry about money for the rest of your life. You're going to be fine. It's pretty crazy. You'll be able to at least do comedy clubs for the rest of your life, no matter how bad it goes. I think about that all the time. Really? All the time. I mean, like, I told my agent, I'm like, if I can stay, because I know that, like,

The upper end of it, which is like the arena stuff that I'm doing, is a window. Like you don't do arenas for 20 years. It's a window. Yeah. So I'm like, you know, maybe I get to do it a couple cycles, like a couple tours. I'm like, if I can stay in theaters for the rest of my career, meaning I'm like 60 and I call them and I go, hey, can you book like these theater markets? Yeah.

I don't care if it's a fucking 1200 seat or something like I'd be thrilled. Yeah, of course. That would be amazing. Yeah. You can't stay at the top forever is also another thing we were talking about off air. Ralphie may say to me all the time. He used to say, he used to reference Dane cook all the time. He used to say like, you can't live at the mountaintop forever. No. Eventually you do have to go down and that's why you have to be nice to everybody you meet on the way up. That's why you have to be grateful for all the experiences you have on the way up and try to enjoy it because yeah, exactly. It's that, that moment is only for a window. You're not going to be there forever.

I mean, some windows obviously last longer. Yeah. You know, and I think that like, you know, I mean, I'm super grateful just to have experienced what I've experienced and be able to work at that level. But, you know, part of your brain is also like, oh, yeah, like even, you know, like a Kevin Hart.

stop doing two arena shows. Yeah. He does one. Yeah. And you go like, oh, that's good. But it's like, that's a reduction in his workload and all like. Well, quality of life I've learned has become like way more important. The fact that you're, that this just happened for you and you're this young and you were able to go, I'm turning down one of these shows

added show requests says like it's a very wise thing that you're able to do at this stage. Well, I've been so lucky to get so much good advice. Like I was with, I was with Chappelle and yellow Springs at his summer camp that he does out there. And we were, we were talking about my tour and he was just like, he was, he was giving so many kind words. And one thing he did say in, in all of all the tour dates we has, he said, remember pigs get slaughtered.

He goes, you don't have to do everything all right now. He goes, if this is going to be your longevity, you have to take care of yourself and do it when you need it. He goes, you don't, if you can do 20 theater shows, you're,

You can do 20, six months from now. You can do 10 now, 10, six months from now. But none of us want to hear that when it's said the first time. No, of course. I was the same way. Everybody said the same thing. Here's how bad it is. I was saying that to other people. I was like, man, you fucking pigs got slaughtered. And then I would sign up for the opposite. Oh, you fuck. Yeah, because like it's so hard to like in the... Here's the thing. They get you too, dude. Like they get you. Meaning like...

You have your like, this is what I'm doing. And it's just like the offers come to you and you're just like, I remember like what they'll do too is they work back a week. Yeah. So like-

They're like, how about Thursday, Friday, Saturday? Like Nashville, Charlotte, Raleigh. And you're like, that sounds like a great week. And they go, you know, Wednesday. Greensboro's got a small arena right down the street. It's right there. You want to do Wednesday? That's exactly how it works. Yeah, you go, yeah. And then they go, you know, Tuesday. Richmond is like not far from Greensboro. And you go, okay. Now you have a Monday off. And then they go, you know, Monday. And so you go, oh. And then you look and you're like.

Oh, I've done that 10 times now? Yeah. So now you're just doing full weeks. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, that's how it... But I'm lucky enough now that I have like...

my moral base is covered. Like we're closing on getting my mom a house this week. So like, that's just how exciting is that? It's incredible. Except for my mom doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. Really? When I call, she know about the house show. Yeah. She knows about the house and I wish my biggest mistake. No, God, no. Georgia. Okay. God, no. Once my grandpa passed away, I was like, we have to get everyone the fuck out of Ohio. So I never have to go back here ever again. You don't like Ohio.

I don't like Ohio, but funny enough, I like Atlanta worse than any part of Ohio. You like, yeah. I told her if she moved anywhere close to Atlanta, I'd never come visit. Yeah. I think I saw just scrolling. I saw a clip of you shitting on Atlanta. Yeah, dude. Fuck that place.

And people were like, oh, you're never going to be able to perform in Atlanta again. Promise? Wow. Then drive to Athens or Savannah if you want to see me. So Atlanta is your, now, did you shoot there? Is that why you hate it? Did you? No, I just, I lived there for the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. My first manager owned a comedy club down there. Oh. And yeah, he found me on Twitter. It's this long story. Yeah.

So that summer I had off, obviously I had no plans for the summertime. I took a Greyhound down to Atlanta and I would just sleep on comics couches down there over the summer and do like nine to 15 shows a week at this club. Like he would just put me on every show. Uptown Comedy Corner. Okay. Have you heard of it? No, I'm trying to think of the... Because I did...

What was the famous longest running kind of club there? Punchline? Punchline. Yeah. And then I did that like... Laughing Skull? Laughing Skull. Yeah. Yeah. Those are great venues. This was nothing like those. This was like the premier black comedy club in the country. Like it was one of the most feared rooms in the world. Uptown. Oh yeah. So to be a white comic was like the worst thing you could be. People would take out their keys and jingle them at you. Like it was...

It was an intense experience, but it made you ready for fucking anything. Anything. Yeah. Yeah. And black crowds are the best comedy audiences in the entire world. I remember in LA. It's a real respect. Doing the comedy union. Oh yeah. Which was a black club on Pico. Did you ever go to the J spot by the airport? I did another black club.

I don't know if it was... It was like closer to downtown, but I forget the name of it. It was like a little room. Was it Garrett Morris? Yes. No way. Yes. Really? Yeah, what was that place called? Garrett Morris' Comedy Club. It was like in a homeless shelter in downtown LA. It was, yeah. You'd have to go up like

nine stories of steps or some shit. And I did, uh, the union a lot. I remember, I remember doing the union regularly. I got, uh, my first TV credit ever was from performing that I did BET's comic view when I was 17. Jesus. And now, and the show got canceled right before my episode. So it never even aired. I did BET once. Did you really? Yeah. What'd you do? Uh, it was called one mic stand. It was the followup to, to that. And, um,

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I think they mean us. Oh, s***. With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. Dude, here's the worst part about it. So we're backstage and it's a mix of people. The audience is all black, but the comics, there's like, I think there's ten of us taping. Probably...

Six black dudes and chicks and then like four white people. And the first three comics that go up are black and eat the biggest bowl of dog shit that I've ever seen. So we're like,

I mean, like, they came off sweating with, like, a scared look. To be fair, they sweat during a good set. That's true. That is true. They had towels and stuff, you know. But I was like, holy shit. Because also at a taping, you're like, it's added pressure. Oh, it's nerve wracking. Yeah. And you're watching, you're like, wait, the black comics are bombing here? Like, we're going to fucking die.

Do you remember who else was on it with you? White comic wise? Well, I remember that, is her name Paula Bell? Yeah, Paula Bell. I believe so. Yeah. Look up Paula Bell. Is that? If it's who I'm thinking of, she's a beast. I've seen her murder. Yes. Yeah. So she goes up there. Man, I will never forget this. She's just like all of us watched four people eat shit. I mean, really eat shit.

And she goes up there and is like, fuck you to this crowd and murders. She's Bernie Max it? Absolutely. And she murders and I'm next. So I get the benefit of essentially it's almost like having –

you know, in this scenario, like somebody open and get the show going. And I was like, I was like, can we get me out there right now? And they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I got out there and had like, you know, a good set. And I was like, but she's the one that flipped the room. Like she flipped the room. Oh, I love that. And Kevin Hart was the host. Oh shit. Yeah. And it was like, he was, you know, on his way. It wasn't like,

who he is today, but you saw like how charismatic this dude was. You know, he had like, he had that thing that people talk about movie stars like Tom Cruise having where like he talks to you and you're like, oh shit. Just captivating. So engaged with you. Yeah. Remember he, I said it before, he said, he was like, oh, you're talking, he's like, everybody's talking about you, man. And I was like, really? Like, I was like, no one's fucking talking, what are you talking about? Shut up. But he was like, you're selling you on it. You're like, oh, cool, cool. Like,

He just, you know, so cool. I'm glad I'm happy to know he's always been nice. I've met him a handful of times and he has always been so kind to me. So nice. Oh man. I love that you did BET. Yeah. My mom has never like, I don't think registered any of my like career achievements. I don't think when I got BET, she was like, Oh, that's, that's, is it a TV thing? And I was like, yeah, we don't have that channel. We don't have it. Um, and then I did him TV and it was a black show as well with wild now. She was like, what was that like?

Is that... It was... I remember that show, like, kind of on the periphery. Like, I wasn't watching the show, but it was like, you know, it's part of pop culture. Yeah, it's like ridiculousness now. Like, it's always on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was...

It was the first real thing that put me on the map for my career, and it was the best learning experience I could have gone through because I had no idea how TV worked whatsoever, and I didn't know how competitive being on set was. So being around all these comics who were great improvisers and great stand-ups and rappers.

Yeah.

like 25 cast members. So you're like competing for episodes basically. And my role on there was like the white guy obviously. And oh my God, I was so miserable because everyone has their role on there. If there's a gay dude, you're only doing gay jokes. If you're a white dude, you're only doing white jokes. I was just lucky to not be the gay dude. And I remember like my second season was going really well on there and everybody kept coming up and be like, oh man, you might be like the next Gary Owen. And I was like,

Another Ohio guy. Who I fucking love. Gary Owen is a beast. He's a good friend. A fucking awesome comedian. But it's a very niche lane that I knew I didn't want to just do. I didn't want to just perform for the black audience. Yeah, I've always prided myself on being for...

Trying to be for everybody. But did you, because it sounded like with the Atlanta stuff, were you like primarily doing black crowds? Yeah. Oh, you were? Yeah, I grew up doing just that. So then like, then your comedy naturally start to play to black crowds because like you're conditioning yourself there? But that was just because of my personality. When I grew up was all with black friends. Oh, I got you. Like all of them growing up with black.

was black. I've always been far more comfortable around black people than I ever have been with white people. White people suck so bad, dude. We're so annoying. We're not fun at all. That's very true. It's so frustrating. I know. I can't get any more black people here, but it's true. They're a lot of fun. In Austin? Are you trying to bring them down here? Well, here at the office. We have one. It's fine. I haven't seen one since I've been in here, actually. Oh, he's in the booth. We try to keep him. I see a painting. Yeah, there's another one. That counts, the painting. So I guess we have two. Yeah.

And enough with the paintings Let's not go to three How many paintings do you have in here? There's a number of paintings Are they all people you know? People we've shown, highlighted I don't know if I know them all I don't know if I want to meet them all I wanted to ask actually, what's the record behind you? Oh, Gary Clark Jr.,

Who is Gary Clark Jr.? Really? Yeah. Who is that? He's a very, very talented guitar player, singer, rock star. Like currently? Currently here, lives in Austin. Then shout out to Gary Clark Jr. Also, just so you know, black. Oh, thank God. Yep.

Can you get him in for the studio? I would love to. I would love to have Gary Clark Jr. here. Have you had any musicians on the show yet? Have we had musicians on the show? There he is. There's Gary Clark Jr. Oh, yeah. He's black. He fucking rips, dude. Like, if you see this guy play guitar... Is he from here in the South? Is he from here? I don't know if he's from here. He lives here. Yeah.

The name does sound familiar. No, he's badass, dude. He's won Grammys and he's... What music do you predominantly listen to? Predominantly? Yeah. Probably hip hop. Really? Yeah.

Do you ever go old? Old? Yeah. Like how old? Like I'm really big. You're old might be just my current. Touche. I think like I'm a huge like 50s through 80s fan. Oh, really? Yeah. I love it. Like I'm a huge like Sam Cooke fan. Oh, yeah. I love old shit too. I mean, I grew up, my dad was a big Motown guy. Really? So Motown was like predominantly what he was playing in the car or like at his house, you

Oh, yeah. Danny Brown, of course. So I guess not a lot of musicians have come on. But yeah, Motown was like huge for us. You know, everything from Jackson 5, Temptations, Diana Ross, like all that was like- All the best. Yeah. That's, you know, older stuff for sure. He hated, my dad hated-

Oh yeah. So did my stepdad. He was like, that's one thing we're definitely different in. I was like, okay. He was like, God, you like this shit? I was like, yeah. At what point, has it even kicked in yet? Like, do you like current hip hop? Like new shit? Here's the thing. I, Bert and I were just talking about this, how you, you'll, you're too young for this now, but you, like in 10 years, you'll be like, oh, you don't want to be the guy who's like, fuck all this new shit. Oh, I'm already there. But, but,

So what happens is you do start to lean into that. It's also comfortable about the stuff that you like and came up with. It's comfort, right? It's why people watch sitcoms, like the same sitcom. They're like, I know it. It doesn't challenge me in any way. It feels nice. It's like a warm blanket. So music's like that too. Apparently this is something that happens in the brain to most people, which is like,

after 35, you just are reluctant to start to keep taking in new stuff. So I try to make an effort to go like, okay, what's new? And a lot of times, you know, sometimes my effort is five seconds. I'm like, fuck this. And sometimes I'll even like make myself listen to like a couple songs and like, I'll find things that I like. Mm-hmm.

The truth is what ends up usually grabbing me now is just something that's catchy as shit. You know what I mean? Like if a hook, if a beat is like super, has a thing to it, you're like, oh yeah, I'll download that shit right away. As far as like, I mean, there's, I don't want to get into that. Like there's new artists who are so celebrated. I'm like, I don't know what's happening. I don't know why this is, anyone is talking about this. Oh dude, it's my generation. Even I don't fucking get it at all. Dude, that's like...

That's the weirdest thing about me is the fact that I'm 27 and I live in this new world of all the new age hip hop and social media and all that. I fucking hate it so much, Tom. Oh my God. The fact that I'm successful via TikTok blows my mind. Blows your mind. For years, like Lauren Compton, whose podcast I'm going to do, for probably two years before I did TikTok was like, you got to get on there. You got to do it. And I was like, never in a million fucking years. She was telling you? Oh yeah. Everybody was. Like, you got to get on. Shout out to Lauren Compton. I was like, I'd rather not. Yeah.

And they were all like, I was like you. I mean, yeah, I was like you. I was like, I have enough social media. Like when it was like, you know, I remember Twitter and you're like, all right, Instagram. I like Instagram. I was like, yeah, I like photos. And like, I like that medium, right? Yeah. Photos. Great. I was like, you gotta be kidding me. Another one. You want threads? I fucking hit yes. And it just like automated it. I didn't even set it up. I know, but it's like you go, but then part of you, what happens is you go, well, it's like with TikTok became,

the place that like the young consumer is there, right? Yeah. So when something like Threads comes on, you just go like, what if that just explode? Like why be late to the party? I just was like, okay. Yeah. But I don't really...

I mean, I don't really engage much there. I don't, you know, I just kind of go, fuck man. And then somebody manages like a Facebook I abandoned. Oh yeah. I haven't been on Facebook in years. But then a guy manages it for me, put stuff on. I'm like, fine. Exact same thing. Fine. Just put it up. Y'all go on there like to check when a birthday is. And that's, that's literally it.

Yeah. I just, I don't know, man. I mean, but obviously like TikTok really was critical. Oh, cause it's exposure. So when you're, when you, when you, you said like last July, you make a hundred bucks or whatever. So it starts to, you see the thing explode. Like the videos start to go crazy. Do you show up at a gig and you're like, Oh, this is sold out. Like you didn't know. The first place was, um, I'm sure, you know, off the hook in Naples. Yes. That was the first club that like did numbers that,

nearly sold out each night. And you'll never forget that by the way. Oh no. Cause he handed me a check and it was for like, it was for like 12 grand. Yeah. Which I was only contracted for like a 1500 guarantee. I mean, you know how those deals go. So I was expecting that check and he handed me 12,000. I remember I looked up at him and I said, are you, are you sure? And he was like, yeah, man, we did really, really well. I was like, get the fuck out of here.

It's a crazy feeling. Are they all supposed to be like this now? That was the first club that actually took off. But before that, it was just... And then was it just on after that? Yeah, pretty much. Which is crazy because the two months leading up to that were exactly what you were talking about. I was routing one-nighters from like St. Louis to Philly to Raleigh. And each one of them, I'd make...

500 bucks or something like that. Sure. But you'd have to do all three to make the whole trip worth it. Worth it. Yeah. Yeah. It was exhausting. I remember my first one very clearly. I was, uh, my special came out in March of 2014. And honestly, you know, Netflix is much bigger now than it was then, but it was still like a thing. But I was like, all right. You know, it was a consolation prize to be on that. They were like, Oh, it's on Netflix. And you're like, fuck. Yeah. You're like, all right.

So it came out, you know, saw some tweets, did a couple press, I did like phoners, you know, a newspaper put me in there. Like it was nothing. And it came out.

I saw people were like, oh, this is really fun. Like the same kind of thing. Like if I did, when I did comedy central presents, you know, you see like tweets about it and you're like, all right. And nothing changes. So I was like, nothing changed. Now, do you feel like it's the epitome Netflix is, do you think it's the best place for a special to land? Yes. Viewership wise. Oh, it is the only other place that like, oddly enough, it's, it's the polar opposite business model in many ways, but they both have the same objective is YouTube. Meaning that like,

Netflix is subscription-based. You pay for it. But they've got 140 million people to do it.

And they also have some very high level production. Things that are obviously massive shows, movies, docu... It is like a content haven, right? And they also became the place... They went after stand-up. So HBO was the place for stand-up. Netflix was like, fuck that, we are. And came to people with checks and took stand-up. Took stand-up away from Comedy Central and HBO. It's the place. What's fascinating about YouTube...

YouTube is free. Everybody has YouTube. YouTube, you can share very easily. The objective, just like Netflix, is like Netflix wants you to stay on the platform. They're giving you stuff to go just stay here. YouTube has the same objective. Stay here. Stay on YouTube. You can put out a special as you have and other communities have. And look, if that finds an audience, the same goal is met. Millions of people seeing it. And that without question translates to ticket sales. That's part of like,

Part of the people who are buying tickets for you right now, yeah, of course, TikTok, but like some of them are YouTube people. Hey, I saw your special on YouTube. But do I think that Netflix right now is still the place to be? Yes, it is. When did Comedy Central fall out of that race, you think? Probably right around like 2014, 15, 16, like in that middle thing. That's as like Netflix put it into like fifth gear. And-

But the whole Comedy Central model was like, remember it was like, all it was was stand-up. That's literally what made me do stand-up. I used to stay up late at night and just watch Comedy Central Presents all the time. None of us wanted to be anywhere but Comedy Central. Oh, of course. And I'm talking about from the early 2000s

Like even when I did Presents, I shot it in 2010. It came out in 2011. And I was just like, that was a half hour special. And all I was gearing for was like, let me do that hour next. Like that was the goal. Because you've seen all your people you admire do it. Yeah, there was a structure to how your career is supposed to go. Just do that. But they also like, I don't know. I mean, you know, leadership changes in companies like that. Oh, especially with Viacom. And they just like change their whole model. And like, you know.

They've been very fortunate to have South Park and The Daily Show be like the continued staples of the network. Yeah. But all these other things they do, I'm like, they kind of like come and go. Like everything else just kind of like falls away. I've always wanted to change that. Like I've always wanted to have that conversation with Comedy Central to be like,

Give somebody with a young, fresh fan base a project to run with that can bring your network back to what it used to be, a comedy network. I got to tell you something. You could probably fucking get that meeting. I've had that meeting, and they don't bat an eye. Oh, Comedy Central's never given me the time of day. Even now? Never.

Ever. Still not, dude. I know. Well, that's very informative in and of itself. I mean, you should be able to go in there. And I don't mean that anybody could just give me this. But the fact that they don't want to entertain the idea is fucking bonkers. And I'm just big on creativity. Yeah, sure. Take a fucking chance. I get that you're a business. I get that you have to go by the numbers and risks.

Can cost a lot of money, but it's like other, your, your channel is never going to grow. Your network is never going to go back. And you're having those conversations with people right now. And they're like, we're not interested. Really? I think comedy central is probably the only one who never like just never even serious. Nah, not really. I had a meeting with them probably.

Probably beginning of this year, maybe. Maybe end of last year when things started to pop off a little bit. And it was positive, but it was not like, we want to work with you. That's so interesting. It's funny how these networks and platforms have brands now. Yeah. HBO is like, are you trans and missing a limb? Like,

Come do a special here. Well, OnlyFans has given so much opportunity to stand up lately, which is funny. That's actually why I named my first special Matt Reif OnlyFans because I knew how many people searched to see if I had an OnlyFans that I knew was going to drive traffic to it. Let's park here for a second. That's a great thing. So it's a perfect time to bring this up. So much is made about your looks. Yes.

Dude, it's insane. One of the things I noticed, I mean, look, you're a very handsome young man. Thanks, man. I remember when all this happened, I looked at your Instagram and dude-

The comments under your photos are like, they're like, oh my God, he's doing it to us. Like, I can't take this anymore. I'm like, what the fuck? And it's like girls tagging their friends. Did you see? And then the girl is like, oh my God, I'm dying over here. Like, I'm like, yo. Dude, it doesn't make sense to me either. Well, but you're in the very, I mean, very small percentage of not just a good looking guy, but like,

It traditionally doesn't align with comedy, right? Like comedy, like,

The more flawed you are, people see it as a bonus, right? Guy with like a missing tooth, belly hanging out. People are like, that's hilarious. It's visually comedic. It's comedic. And they like to see that guy say things. And like, if he complains, it's like, that's okay, right? They don't want to see somebody really well put together. They're like, what's up with you? Your life is great. Oh, of course. They assume you have no problems whatsoever. You can't have problems. Traditionally, what you see in comedy, I think,

is like you're always kind of telling, because there's a lot of women who are attractive women who sometimes lean into that. Yeah. And you find that like there's huge resistance to it. Of course. Like people go like, stop dressing like that. And it's not that like I feel like you should tell somebody what to say, but I almost say that like I understand what they're saying. It's like you're wearing this form-fitting outfit. You're accentuating. It's like the guys are only thinking about what they're seeing. Yeah. The women are like jealous or hating on you. It's like you kind of have to like,

play against those genetic gifts. Yeah. So like, what, how do you, what's your position on like, you know that people are saying like, oh, we find you so attractive. What do you, what's your take on how to deal with that and do comedy? Well, I think when I was younger, I,

I had to embrace it because it was the only thing I had that kind of made me stand apart, I suppose. That gave me some kind of leverage, I guess. Or at least made people notice me. So like what? You're young and they're like, you're cute. Yes. You go, oh, well, I'll play into the I'm young, dumb and cute card. Right. But then once you become...

25, 26, 27, you're an adult. People stop caring about what you look like, at least in comedy clubs. Stop caring about what you look like and how old you are and more focused on what you have to say. Are you going to actually be funny? So now I'm at this point where I kind of hate that I did that to myself because I'm put in a weird position of like, yes, I have this massive fan base that is predominantly women who are

such a powerful fan base. They're so supportive. And I mean, obviously, I mean, look at that. I mean, the ticket sales we did in 48 hours is insane. But then I have to sort through all of those fans to find, okay, who are the real comedy fans? Who's actually here because they believe I'm a funny comedian. The big plus to it though, is that you're bringing in people who may be

never wanted to see a standup show. Oh yeah. Never seen one. That is the big plus though. Is that like somebody who goes like, Oh, these chicks just think you're a good looking guy or whatever. It's like, yeah, but you got somebody to go, Oh, I want to see this. This is standup. And some of them are going to be like, I want to see more standup. Yeah, absolutely. And that's a huge, huge,

That's a huge benefit to comedy. But it's a responsibility as well. Because so many of my online clips are just crowd work. People who don't know how comedy works think that's how the show is. How are you managing that? Um...

Because I wondered that too. It's like I see that it's like a natural thing to watch. You go like, oh, these are great crowd work clips. They're going, I'm going to go talk to me, right? You have to be patient. And I am patient to an extent. My biggest problem is people can come to the show expecting crowd work and still be respectful. They can sit back, wait, and go, I bet it's going to come at some point. That's the audience member that I love. Because the thing is, they're probably going to get it because I enjoy doing crowd work for me. Sure. I mean, as a comic, like you –

You get tired of telling your own jokes. Sure. When you do eight shows in a row, you go, okay, this hour is in. Let's break it up a little bit with something that's even going to catch me off guard. And do you do that at a special moment or is it just like... Yeah, I've got... God, I'm so happy to talk to you about this. Somebody who gets it. Yeah, I've got like three placeholders in my set that I go...

I can transition from this bit easily into some crowd work. And if it does or doesn't work out, I have an easy out to go back into the set. But here is an opening for it. But people don't know that. So you get people who are egotistical or just want the attention. They want to be that next clip. Yeah. They come and they yell out. And that's what I'll shut down immediately. If I can tell somebody wants the attention, like,

They want to be the clip. I go, nah, get them the fuck out of here. Yeah. I hate that shit so much. It's the worst. The worst part about it is that there's this thing when you're doing, when you're performing, any type of performance, but stand up where-

You naturally, to be the best performer, have to be willing to be vulnerable. Yeah. And when somebody hijacks moments like that, the natural instinct is go, I don't want to be vulnerable anymore. Oh, absolutely. You want to put a wall up there. Yeah. And now you're fucking up the show for everybody. No, that's been a tricky thing to navigate. It's going back to what you were saying about my looks earlier. Yeah.

It's created this very hungry, supportive fan base that I'm so grateful for and has gotten me this far. Yeah. But now I am having to weed through those and find the real comedy fans because that's what I've been working so hard for for the past 12 years. Right. But how do you do that? Like you just...

You have to stay true to the craft, I suppose, as cheesy as that sounds. But it's like I was talking to my best friend and tour manager the other day about how easy it would be for me to just go on stage and play into the whole I'm a young fuck boy. We lift my shirt up or whatever and like play to the female audience. And like I could get I could have a glorious stage.

Standing ovation. Sure, sure. And it will be a great show for exactly what they probably want. But I go, I'd be fucking miserable with myself. You'd be miserable? Because that's not what I want to do. And the time limit on that would be quicker. Oh, of course. Oh yeah, that would be such a flash in the pan. But what's funny is...

As much as I sit here and go, oh, my looks don't allow me to be perceived as a real comedian. Yeah. Guess how much sympathy I'm allowed to get? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zero. Of course. People go- But do you feel, is there a pressure on you to, I mean, your looks are your looks, right? Like your face is your face. Yeah, didn't choose it. Right. It's just how it is. Yeah. But is there then an added pressure to go like, I need to look good all the time? I mean, you know, like you're not-

out, but like, there's this thing, right? Does it stay in your head? Like I better like stay in really good shape. I better make sure my hair looks like, do you feel a pressure to deliver the package that some of these people want to see? No, not for them. For me, I,

I want to look the best I can possibly be. Who the fuck doesn't want to look the best version of themselves, right? And as somebody who grew up as an ugly kid, as a skinny kid, I didn't lose my virginity until I had two months left of high school. So I was such a late bloomer that I'm like, can I just enjoy this portion of my life? I don't know what I'm going to look like when I'm fucking older. I might look like Dom Irera in five years. Yeah, it could change. Yeah, I don't know. As rapidly as this happened, it could go away. Let me ask you this. Are you just,

drowning in pussy right now like is it the best and if I was nobody would throw me a fucking life vest not a single person no they wouldn't no I'm not I have a girlfriend you do yeah does your audience know that well they do now a good part of them do are you guys together a while uh

Uh, no, it's a, it's a really relationship about four or five months, but we've known each other for about a year and a half. You have? Yeah. Um, she's wonderful. No, no, she's an actress. Okay. Now this takes, this is the next question for that. That takes a, like, she must feel comfortable.

how much people are commenting on you and like all the attention you get. Yeah. Like that takes a very secure person to, and she is, she's, she's, she's very, she's very smart. And like, I love that she's never been insecure about the amount of attention that I get. And there's more, she sees it the way I sees it, the way I sees it, the way I see it. Like,

like some, a girl will yell out the middle of a show, like fuck me or something wild that people yell out these shows. Right. And a lot of girls would be like, you have girls yelling out to fuck you in the middle of the show. I get off stage. She goes, what the fuck's that girl's problem? That's so annoying. You're in the middle of trying out this new bit that I know you've been working so hard for. And now she ruined the entire fucking thing. Yeah. That's a good girl that she understands that. I mean,

does she love it? I'm sure she doesn't. Who the fuck would? Yeah. Yeah. But she's, um, she's very, she's very calming and understanding, which is what I love so much about our relationship. And that's why it takes you a long way. That's, I didn't want to get into a relationship at all with this tour beginning. I was like, there's no way I'm gonna be able to manage a relationship. Yeah. And all it's done so far is just like, keep me grounded. I have, I have one person to respond to and think about and focus on rather than be at

rather than like being that touring comment that's like, well, girl, can I fuck in this city? You know, it would, it's another thing where I, I remember like when we were, I was like, don't lose your mind. I met things like this, you know, it's like, yeah, you texted me and I was like, are you sure this is Tom's? I couldn't, I was, I was so happy that you reached out, man. I meant a lot. Seriously. I was, I was happy for you. You know, it's, it's fun to like these things when they happen, they're,

They don't happen all the time. I feel like it's exciting, like just like for comedy. Yeah. And I know you're a good guy. And I was like, you know, I just wanted to reach out and be like, Hey man, I hope, you know, you're managing all this well. And that's not overwhelming, but like, um, that meant a lot because I get, I mean, as much, as much positive attention as you see on the internet, there's three times as much hate. Yeah. Do you, it's wild, right? It's insane, man. Do you know, have you like figured out how to like,

Not digest all of it. No, no. I'm so confrontational as a person. Like it drives me insane. I can't beat the fuck out of these people. Yeah. But then you have to sit back and go, well, I'm really allowing these people to, to, to determine how I, how I feel throughout my day. You gotta, it's fucking pathetic. Exactly. You don't want to let them, I mean, nobody wants, nobody wants, regardless of the situation and no matter how secure you are with yourself, you,

doesn't feel good to know that many people don't fucking like you. Of course, of course. But it's also like, you know, like you're living, you're literally living your dream. Yeah, of course. And it's like, you can't let,

someone's bitterness or negativity suck that joy out of you. - And it's almost always dudes. - Of course. - Which just tells me, it's like, okay, what are you actually mad about? Are you mad that I'm having success? Are you mad that I look the way I do? - It's everything. - Like how much pussy do you not get? For me, just trying to make you laugh upsets you. That's fucking crazy. - It's really just, you know, it's like, it's mistargeted,

emotion from somebody you know like they're just mad about something else and they found somebody they can go i can i can put it over here right but like the funny thing is it takes a while and i remember this because like i remember like when you have no exposure nobody's like you're the worst and you suck because nobody knows you yeah everything like all your your

you know, feedback is like people who know you. Yeah. And then it's like people get canceled 20 years later. Yeah. It's like this gradual thing though, where it's like, that was great. That was, everyone's just like, you're great. And then like you get your first pop of some exposure and you get someone being like,

you fucking suck and you're like the first time you're like wait what like it's so it's so like startling at first you're like what are you talking like you've never had someone do that I remember being like I remember engaging people like the fuck are

fuck are you talking about yeah yeah all the time which is crazy because you would never do that in real life no of course you if you see somebody performing on like the subway playing violin or whatever even if you think it's garbage you don't walk by and go fucking kill yourself no i know that's an insane thing to do it's what the anonymity of the internet provides you you know it's like but it's the same thing it's like you know people talk about the way that we

about someone in the car in front of you. Damn, that's a really good point. It's like the car in front of you and you're like, what if we were walking? Yeah.

Yeah. And the person's walking like, you would never. You would never. That is a really good way to look at it. You want to instinctually blame the internet for that false sense of security. Yeah. But no, you're right. You do it in your fucking car. Oh, and you say the most heinous things. Oh, yeah. You fucking piece of shit. Oh, do you call a white person the N-word like eight times? Oh, yeah. Most of the time. Yeah. Every morning. Every morning. When I get here. Yeah.

But my favorite thing is, as much as it's usually dudes who give me shit, they have the most fun at my shows. Of course, dude. My favorite thing is to watch the audience throughout my show because it's all the same. It's predominantly women and then boyfriends who weren't going to let their girls come alone, right? So every guy's like this at the beginning of every show. Every girlfriend's like this. And then about 20 minutes in, every girlfriend is like...

Yeah. And every boyfriend is like, all right, I actually fuck with what he's talking about. I'm like, dude, just give it a chance. I think we have very different fan bases. I'll trade you. I'll trade you. Bro, I have this thing. I meet sometimes people after shows, and they'll be like, the guy will be like, yo, can I get a picture? And I'm like, yeah, sure, man. And then he's like, babe. And she's like, I'm good. Dude, I get the complete opposite. I'm good. I get the husband being like, I don't want to.

They'll pay for the meet and greet and then be like, I don't want a picture with her. She wanted the photos. By the way, just so it's clear, chicks yell out, fuck me, Tom, too, at my shows. But when we turn the lights on, they look like a fucking basset hound. And we cut the lights. It

It has happened. Dude, I've had brawls thrown at me on stage. People bring signs and shit to shows now. They yell out the craziest things. And I'm just like, you wouldn't do this at Hamilton. You wouldn't yell out in the middle of a musical number and be like, eat my pussy. Somebody would stand up and be like, hey man, shut up. Thomas Jefferson's black right now. Hamilton, eat my pussy. That would be amazing to be at that Hamilton show. Be like, oh my God.

It's crazy, though, that, you know, because you don't really think about this, that, like, we usually see and we've learned, especially in this era, do not objectify a beautiful woman. Right? Yeah. Like, people go, like, do not. Your thought might be this, but you do not say that to that woman. But it's so interesting that, like, you're in this very unique position where you get objectified. Oh, yeah. And people say, right.

wild shit like no one feels bad for you i'm not saying not a single person but it is a crazy thing to experience that people are saying that oh dude i've had my nipple bitten i've meet and greets my ass grabbed all the time when women will ask in front of my pr people or the meet and greet people who run all of it they'll ask like can i grab your dick in the photo and stuff and i'm like or i'll be on stage and somebody would be like take your pants off i'm like imagine if

Amy Schumer was up here and somebody was like, let's see that clip. You just couldn't do it. Yeah. Show me your clip. Yeah. Just challenge her to a thumb wrestling competition in the middle of the fucking show. That is crazy, dude. That is crazy. It sucks. It's so annoying. But it's like, that is my price to pay for having an overwhelming fan base. Yeah. I'm going to have to- But again, that came to you in a year. Yeah. That's the part that I'm like, it's very- That's why I'm impressed, honestly, Matt, with how you've managed things. Because-

You know, 27 is you're a young guy and you know, this came to you in such a short time and your manager. I mean, if I were you, I'm 27, I'd be like, I'm going to get AIDS on this tour and I want it. I want AIDS. I would make it my mission. And like, if you don't have AIDS, don't even try to fuck it. I'm a week by the third show. Oh my God. Fuck.

yeah it's like you know it's a it's it's wild dude it's it's a lot but it's what it's what you ask it is what you look at my I'm just telling myself like if I can just get through June of next year yeah be as tired as you want for the next nine months and after that I just do things the way by the way I was looking at my tour my lap the tour that I wrapped up and it was daunting you know it was overwhelming and uh

I ended up just going like, I think the way to approach it to get through it is just week to week. Yeah. You can't, you have to look at the, you can't look at like what's in four or five months. You got to go, what are we doing this week? Yeah. Um, I wish I was taking more time to enjoy some of the stuff I'm doing. Like I'm like, we're doing six shows at radio city musical. Um,

Three nights. So two, two, and two. And I know each of those nights, all I'm going to want to do is get off stage for the first show and go, oh, let me just breathe it all in. And now I'm going to go, nope, I got to go do another one right after this. And then be so tired by the time it's all done. You don't want to do anything else. One of the things you have the ability to do, because we didn't have it much

Man, sometimes on the road when there's like a scheduled night off on the road, it's the greatest thing. Meaning like we're doing shows Tuesday, Wednesday, and all of a sudden you go schedule Thursday, nothing. But then shows Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Yeah. It became like, I think we had like three like that, you know, just like randomly. But it was such...

to be out there but have nothing to do. I love that. Yeah. That's what I'm doing for all of September because I'm doing like three back-to-back full weeks basically leading up to my special I'm shooting in September. And we have like one day off in between each city and I can't wait to just be in a different town with no responsibilities. With no responsibilities. It's a great thing to do. And did you do a bus? Yeah.

yes we're doing a bus in october i'm so fucking excited about it you pick your bus out already uh yeah they're they're like they like built it new um not as expensive as you as you might think we're getting it wrapped uh i think only fans are buying it or no just just just charting yeah only fans is gonna wrap it they are oh yeah dude it's this bus is gonna look like bang bus for sure pretty excited about it dude yeah yeah i've only been on the bus how long were you on the bus for

What do you mean how long? Like for the whole tour were you on it for like six, nine? I mean, obviously you come back in between some shows. Yeah. I mean, I had the bus for from August of 21 until...

Through December of 20... So the only time I didn't have the bus was... I did my international leg at the very end. That's what we're doing. That's why I stopped it when that and then I had... So this year, I did Australia, New Zealand, South America, and Europe. And no bus. How was New Zealand? Unbelievable. Did you get to do anything fun while you were over there? Yeah. That's the cool thing about the international stuff is you actually...

enjoy things more than you do domestically yeah because like there are like all right you flew fucking 16 hours so there's two days of like nothing then it's like you know you're doing perth and sydney and then there's two days off so you like yeah you actually like i mean we rented bikes and went on bike rides you know bikes dude that's do you know how infamous that fucking line is now it's i'll hear it walking down regular streets it's pretty crazy that i still get

every week memes and like photos people send me. They're like, look at all these bikes. And I go, yeah, I know. The genius. It's yeah. It's very, it's, I can't believe that something has legs like that for like saying a word. What was the most fun thing you did while you were in New Zealand? Like touristy wise. Touristy wise. Let's see. Cause we did, what did we do? We did Christchurch, Wellington. You went to church? Went to church.

Are you religious? No. Why'd you go to Christchurch? That's the name of the city. Oh. Maybe don't skip out on college and start a career in comedy?

Fuck. Yeah, I know. Who the fuck names it that? It's a very strange name. Yeah. If somebody named the town fucking Papa John's, you'd also be confused. You would. That's a very valid point. You can say whatever you want in that city, actually. Yeah. Christchurch is beautiful. I think they're famous for the massive earthquake. Oh, they also had a massive shooting, but we don't have to talk about that. Like massive or like America size? The shooting? Yeah. It was pretty terrible. Yeah. It was like a mosque.

shooting the Christ, but pull it up. Pull it up real quick. Pull it up real quick. Yeah. It was, it was horrible. Yeah. The mosque shootings. Yeah. Jeez. Oh, and I remember this. Yeah. It was terrible. There's a mosque in a town called Christ church. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can see how that could be confrontational. Yeah. It was pretty terrible, man. They also had, they also putting Christ church. Was it also a white kid? Yeah.

What's that? Was it also a white kid, the New Zealand one? I'd be surprised. If it was or wasn't. Yeah, it was a massive... No, I'd be surprised if it... I was joking. It was definitely a white guy. Major earthquake. Yeah, yeah. That was a... Oh, my God. Yeah, that was huge. That was in 2011. That's insane. Yeah, but I'm trying to think of... 185. It was really just like seeing the...

the beauty, like the nature of New Zealand. Cause you know, like it's famous for, that's where they shot all the Lord of the Rings stuff. Have you been skydiving before? No. And you can, by the way, just so you know, you can go when you're in, I think when you're in Auckland, there's like a day trip you can take to see like,

The Lord of the Rings? Oh yeah, we almost did it. I went there this January for a friend's YouTube trip, right? And we were out there for two weeks. He runs this YouTube channel that I met. I'm going to try to summarize this.

We met because he runs a gigantic successful YouTube channel called TFIL. He has a sub channel called the Overnight Channel that's like ghost hunting. And I joined him for that. We've been all over the world ghost hunting. Seriously? Are you a big ghost guy? Love it, dude. Really? But also, biggest pussy you'll ever meet. I'm so afraid of ghosts, but like I want to meet one. You really are? Yeah, dude. So you're hunting them, but you're terrified. Yeah. Yeah. This is like a scuba diver who's like, I hope I don't fucking see a shark. Exactly. Yeah. Or, you know, like any cop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Exactly. Okay. Okay, so you go there. So we go to New Zealand for his other YouTube channel. It's like basically an adventure channel. So he paid for all of us to go. We just had to go and film everything we were doing for fun.

And we went, we jumped off this giant building in the North Island when we were up there. Did you skydive? We went skydiving over the, is it the Remarkables? Those mountains? I don't even know. I believe it's what they're called. Those are the mountains they filmed all like the exterior shots for Lord of the Rings. And you see them hiking up the hills and shit. Wow. And when we went skydiving, they drop you over the mountains. So you fall from 15,000 feet. Yeah, the Remarkables. From 15,000 feet, you fall right next to the mountain. You're falling like the entire length of the mountain. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

once before in Vegas with a Groupon. With a Groupon? Yeah. Yeah. If you think that's sad, a dude showed up by himself. Really? Yeah. I've never seen a more suicidal person in my entire life. He showed up by himself at... We went at 6 a.m. because we wanted to go with the sunrise. Sure. Which was beautiful. Yeah. The guy showed up by himself. And they're like, are you waiting on anybody? He was like, no. You ever seen a...

Those people having sex while they skydive? Shut the fuck up. Yeah. How? It's so crazy. So they started, like, they get in. The guy was a porn guy who also became a skydiving instructor, of course. Yeah, extremes. And then he, the girl, was like, I want to do this, you know? So they start banging in the plane to, like, get ready, you know, for it. Of course. And then jump out, and, like, they are banging in the air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude.

Is the aim to bust before you land? I think so. According to the guy, I mean, the guy, he's like, she came like five times. I don't think it's called a heart attack. She thinks it's an aneurysm. But yeah, I think it was finished before you get that. Do you think you could do it? No.

Really? Well, I think... I'll tell you why I don't think you can, actually. Because when you go scouting, the harness cuts off all the circulation to your dick. Yeah, I mean, it hurts so bad. So he was on the back, obviously. And, um...

Yeah, I don't know, dude. It seems preposterous. There's videos of this? Yeah. My Google history is going to look disgusting after this because I have to see it. Because you're basically, you're like your baby. What? Yeah, this is it. So you're just baby-bjorned on to the front of somebody and there's not a lot of like hip action you can really throw into that. But also, I don't know if I want to go tandem ever again now. I know. Or this is the only way I want to go from here on out.

Pretty crazy. Jesus Christ. Skydiving. I don't know why it's a scandal. I guess it probably upset. Scandal? It probably upset a lot of the skydiving community, maybe. Well, I think it would upset whoever you're skydiving above. Because imagine she squirts and then you see lands on some fucking family. It's true. How do you explain that to somebody? This is true.

So you didn't have sex when you skydived, but... No, this isn't the most absurd thing I've seen porn-wise, though. I hosted the AVNs. You hosted it? When? We filmed it this past December, and it aired like a month and a half ago or whatever. Wait a minute. You shot it a few months ago. We filmed it last December.

Okay. Right before Christmas and New Year's. Oh, I got you. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I think that's when it was or, or very beginning. How did, how did that come about? Like the. Somebody over at Showtime was a fan and they usually have a comedian host it. Yeah. Yeah. I've known that for years. I've seen, I mean, I've seen so many comics do that. You're going to see, I've seen so many of them. I've gone every year. I've never missed it. Avid audience member. Yeah. Somebody just hit me up. They're like, Hey, we want like a new hot young host to bring some young energy to it. Yeah. And I was so excited. Yeah.

And it was just terrifying. I'm sure it was. It was so much to absorb.

Because I also had to present at the Gavians the night before. They must have eaten your ass up, literally. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was life-changing. Because I'm sitting front row watching most of the show, and I couldn't help but laugh because I've never seen so much dick. Because it's playing on the screens. Oh, yeah, because it's just like the Oscars. You know how every time somebody's nominated for something, they'll show a scene of the movie? So they'll be like, I don't know, Johnny Mash nominated for, you know, costume.

of the year or whatever and then they'll just show him going to town for like seven seconds and you'll see eight more people and you'll be like oh I get it yeah talk of the town it's alarming and then at the AVNs they're showing the porn clips too oh yeah it's aggressive I don't think I watched porn for like four months after that do you come out and just do a monologue like is that how it's like yeah I had to go out there do a little I think I did

I did like 15 minutes up front. Did you do like your act? No, that was the, that was the scariest thing about it is because it's an all porn audience and they're there for that. Like they, they want to hear jokes about their own industry, which is hard for a couple of reasons because one, every, every porn joke in the world has been told already. For sure. This is like the 20th,

anniversary of the show. And also as much as it's, it could be easy to make fun of that industry. Yeah. You have to be respectful because like this is, this is their night. Like to them, this is, this is the Oscars for them. So like as much as you want to poke fun, you have to be a little respectful. So I mean, finding that line to walk was really fun, but scary because there was no place to test the material. What'd you do? 15 minutes of,

untested material. - Seriously? - Yeah. - Wow, so you just like came up with it and then go, I'll just do it here for the first time. - Yeah, I was like, we'll just hope this works. And I'd say, I'd say 90% of it did. I was so lucky, so nervous, but so lucky.

Didn't sleep with a single porn star. Everybody was like, oh, you had to fuck just everybody. I was single at the time. Dude, I was so offended. When the show was over, I went to the after party and everything. When I tell you nobody really talked to me at all, I go, oh, it's fine. I was single. I was open to whatever might have happened. Maybe two, three weeks go by.

I just start getting hit up by so many porn stars being like, where were you that night? We all wanted to fuck you. And I was like, I couldn't have been more available. I was there. I was looking for y'all. Yeah. Never found me. Didn't have any fun whatsoever. Good. Good to note. Yeah. It's not what you think it is at all. Yeah. That's, that's surprising. That is surprising. It was fun though. I remember I did at the improv in Melrose. They, they're like, do you want to host this podcast?

Porn, like the vivid. Oh yeah. The vivid awards. No, like the vivid improv. It was just like vivid night at Melrose. Okay. This is like 2000. They would do a night? Yeah. It was like their show. So I'm like, what do I do? And they're like, well, you show up and then like these two girls are going to go on stage with you. I was like, all right. I mean, look, it was like, they were nice. You know, they're porn stars. Uh huh.

And so like they did like essentially like presentation kind of stuff, but you know, it wasn't like worked out. It was kind of, it was kind of sloppy. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. I mean, you ever watch porn? It's like, it's ever rehearsed now. It's everyone's first take. I was like, all right. Um, and then I, I, but I fucked up in that. I was like,

first of all, I was pretty inexperienced. I mean, I'm like four, five, I don't really know, but I was doing like disrespectful shit because, because I thought that's, you know, yeah, you thought, yeah, you thought they'd be like, here's, you know, the fucking Janice who has traded her stardom for her dignity. Give it up for her. And then she was like,

I was like, that's a funny transition, right? And then I was like, you know, this chick from the hit series, If the Balls Fit, Suck Em. Which was a real name, a title. I looked at her. I was like, real class act. I'm sure the whole fam's proud. Let her take them. And she was like, um. Oh, no, dude. They take it so seriously. But I was also, I mean, to be fair, I wasn't like,

trying to be a dick. Yeah. I was trying to be funny. Of course. And I'm like a few years into standup and I, and I go like, I think this is the way to do this. Like kind of punch, but it's such a specific demographic that you're going to, you don't know how to navigate that. You don't know if they're in on the jokes or if they take it too seriously. The funny thing is that after all these years, we've had like porn people do bits for like our live shows. I don't think there's a more respectful, um,

like group of people that like come to, like when they come to, like they'll hit me up. Hey, we all want to come to the show. And I'm like, oh, like you want tickets? Like, oh no, we bought, they always like, we bought tickets, you know? And they, if they meet you after shows, it's always like the most polite. Thank you so much. Do you mind if we take a photo? We have the best time. And because it's usually like Vegas or something. And they're like, they do these, they've done bits for us that like, it's,

It's not what you expect for that industry, but they are... Amongst the nicest people that I've met are people from that industry. Oh, I love that. It's true. They really are. Do you have a worst group that come to shows? Family? Oh, man. God, is there anything worse? I wish I could trade my family for a bunch of porn stars. I mean, you can. I mean, yeah. I mean, no, it's the worst. They really fucking... Family just, you know, they just like...

They don't understand that you're working. I think that's the thing is that those, those adult industry people are like, this is this person's work. Yeah. You know? Oh yeah. But I can't stand when my mom comes to a show and I'm doing like five minutes on fingering or whatever. And I have to be, but also like moms and like, and family members are like, you know, where do we park? And you're like, I'm, I'm,

I'm at this show. Oh my God. Can I come in? I'm at this door. They don't know anything. I want to sit here. Can I come over here? Where do I get a drink? When are you, can I, and you're like, dude, like, you know that I'm actually, this is my job, right? Like, so really, really funny, quick story. When I was, I think I might've still been 15, maybe just turned 16. It's like my first year doing standup. I cannot believe.

- There's like five people I know of who were like that. - Insane, and most of them are still alive, so I like my odds. When I was about 15 or 16, this was before I ever met him really, I was a huge Ralphie Mae fan. And he was coming, I lived in Columbus, he was performing at Hilarities in Cleveland. And this is at the time when Twitter was so accessible, you could reach anybody. So I would just tweet to Ralphie Mae, we would go back and forth sometimes.

And I was like, hey, I see you're going to be at Hilarity's. I've heard of this thing called a guest spot. I'd never done one before, but I was like, could I do that? And he was like, yeah, you know what? You're around the same age as I was when I started out. Like, come on down. And it was in like three weeks or something like that. My mom and my aunt were who were going to go with me to drive up. That's about a three-hour drive. So I get their perspective.

But they made me ask so many questions. What time do we need to be there? Where do we go? Do we need to buy tickets? Do we need to reserve seats? All the kind of stuff. That eventually he said, hey man, this is just too much. Let's rain check this for later down the road. And he canceled my guest spot because my mom made me keep asking. And I kept telling her, it's too much.

don't worry about it it's good it's gonna be fine yeah and she just made me ask so many questions and now but now you get it you get it i fully get it i'm like just show up just show up somebody will come to find you if you get lost it'll be fine asking these fucking questions dude it's so ridiculous my grandma came to my show in bend oregon have you done the amphitheater out there in bend oregon i don't think so it is have you been to bend oregon

Fucking beautiful. Really? You will love it. I promise you. I think I've done... I mean, I've obviously done Portland. I've done Eugene, you know, University of Oregon. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I don't think I've done Bend. If you get a chance to go out there, it's a beautiful town. In the summer and winter, it's two totally different towns. It's beautiful. They have a gorgeous amphitheater out there with the best sound system I think I've ever witnessed in my entire life. Yeah. My grandma came out there and I was just...

I was drunk on stage, which I never do. I never drink when performing. You're talking about fingering girls and your grandma there? Oh, yeah. I talked about how my grandpa said he fucked Rosa Parks in the front of the bus. Oh, my God. It was like a whole thing. Yeah. I was doing all this ridiculous, stupid stuff. And she comes afterwards and it was like...

I love the fingering joke. And I was like, shut up. Please don't stop listening to my show. It is crazy. It's so uncomfortable. You think of like when whenever you see an old person, you're just like they're sweet and they're old. And you don't know if that old person was like the blowjob queen just a few years. Oh, for sure. Like I've swallowed so much coming. You're like, yeah, dude, I hear stories all the time about how my great grandmother was like the biggest whore in the world.

Really? Your great grandmother? My great grandma. Who only died maybe, I'd say seven years ago, if that. From fucking? Probably. She had dementia really bad to the point where she didn't remember her husband or none of my family members. And we would go visit her in hospice and she would like flirt with me. Really? Oh yeah, dude. And she'd have on this sexy nightgown too. Even I was like thinking about it.

no no no she was fucking she was out of her mind but every story she I had ever been told about her I was like oh yeah for sure she's a hoe yeah your grandmother is a fucking hoe my parents would tell me all these diseases she had oh my god oh yeah she like cheated on my great grandpa multiple times but he loved her so much that he stayed with her Jesus it was insanity dude wow yeah wow nasty stuff nasty grandma man

That is crazy. Also, fun fact, every woman in my family has had a kid before 20 for like eight generations back. Yeah. Really? My family be fucking, dude. How old was your mom when she had you? 19. No, she had just turned 20 by like two months when I was delivered. Yeah. Wow. So, dude, your mom is young. Yeah, my mom, she just turned 48. Holy shit. I really could be your dad. That's so crazy. I'm 44. Fuck. Yeah, you could. Yeah. That's terrifying. I know. But.

But you know what's crazy is like that, that kind of never registers to me because, because I've been in, in standup for so long. So all of my friends are late thirties, mid forties. Yeah. Yeah. I have like, I guess my core friends. How did starting like, did you, I mean, obviously you were a huge standup fan and you're, and then when did you're like, I'm going to go try this. Like you're 15. I was a huge fan of Dane Cook and Dave Chappelle when I was like 12, 13, 14. Yeah.

And my mom won tickets on the radio to see Dane at Nationwide Arena in Columbus. It was like nosebleed seats, obviously, but I was just like, so in all of the show, it was incredible. And since that moment, I was like obsessed with it. So then a couple of weeks go by, there's a talent show at school. I'm like, I want to try it. So I do it there. And of course it was terrible. But you got balls. But I mean, it was awful, dude. I was doing all these raunchy jokes that I had gotten off the internet and

in front of my classmates. It's ballsy though. It was so, I was so naive. It's not, you don't think of it as brave when you don't know that there could be consequences. True, true, true. Um, and then when I was 15, I, I found out what an open mic was and I just emailed the Columbus funny bone stroop. Yeah. And, uh, I was like, Hey, I know you have to be 21 and up, but like, I really want to try what an open mic is. Like, can I come if I had like my parents with me or something? And,

He happened to say yes. And ever since then, it's just been comedy every single week. So you were going back all the time? Every Wednesday. And how was your...

How were your parents about it? Were they supportive? Yeah, my mom was very supportive about it, but just in the sense of extracurricular activity. Nobody thought anything was going to come of it. Did she give commentary to your sets? No, but my grandpa would. It would either be my grandpa or my mom who would take me. And my grandpa would be the one to like, because they were bringer open mics. You had to have five people buy tickets. So my grandpa would buy five tickets. So the club doesn't know any different. They just think five people are in there for you.

But in his eyes, I could do no wrong. Every set I had, he'd be like, I really like the thing you said about this or whatever. It also took me about five months to hear what a set was. So every week I was going up doing new five minutes because I had no idea you were supposed to keep material and keep working on it. Yeah. It was ridiculous. So you're just like, here's a new five. Yeah. I don't understand how people do a new hour every single night. I had no idea. Yeah, that makes sense. But it's a fun learning experience. But my mom didn't know fucking...

She still really doesn't understand at all. Really? No, she understands that she has a house now. She has a house. When I tell you, when I told her like, hey, things are going really well. I want to make sure you're taken care of. You don't have any bills to pay for the rest of your life. I want to get you a house. She was like, oh, I'm so lucky. Thank you so much, whatever. Nine days go by, right? I get a call. Do you get the link that I sent you? Yeah.

I go, what are you saying? She's like, oh, I sent a Zillow link. I go, oh, you've been looking for houses. Okay, fantastic. Let me take a look at it. Tom, my mom lives in an apartment that she smokes in the bathroom of. And she sends me a link.

for a nine bedroom, three and a half million dollar house with horse stables. What? I go, you don't even know nine people. Who's going to live in this fucking house? Yeah, this is crazy. She goes, well, in case any of any of you guys want to come home for the holidays or something for the holidays, I haven't come over the holidays in six years. You think I'm going to go when I have to fly into Atlanta airport? Are you out of your fucking mind? You're out of your mind. And I go, I go,

The horse stables? She goes, well, that's why it's so expensive. I go, who's horses? She goes, well, you know, I've always wanted horses. I go, yeah. And I've always wanted my real dad back. But like, sometimes you have to be logistic about these kinds of things. My mom is 48 years old. She's always injured. Always. She has, she has, what's it called? Vertigo. Yeah. Where she can barely stand upright for most of the time. I'm like, you're going to learn to take care of horses at 48 years old and you're going to do it.

After who's going to buy the horses? So you bought the house and the barn. Bought a different house. Okay. Way less expensive version. Way less bedrooms? Yes. Four bedrooms for her and her boyfriend to live in by themselves. She goes, oh, I got to have a pool. For who? She goes, well, I've always wanted... She goes, I want a pool. I go, I've known you for 27 years. Never seen your hair wet.

Never seen you sweat. I've never seen you take a bath. That's hilarious, dude. I've never seen my mom anywhere near water. And all of a sudden she was like, I don't want a house unless it has a pool. That's crazy. So fucking ridiculous. Did you get the pool? No, I didn't get the pool. I got a house with a lake behind it. That's a big pool. A big pond behind it. It's a natural pool. And she still goes, yeah. And they said the land is totally okay to install a pool if we want. I go, mom. Holy shit.

I love you, but you're white trash. You're going to take this above ground pool like an adult and enjoy it. Yeah. That's amazing, dude. It's amazing that you're like, I'm going to, things are all right. And she's like, here's a three and a half million dollars. Yeah. You're not getting a better house than what I would get for myself. That's insane. My mom is like, so wired this way too. The same way.

Totally. What's crazy, my mom isn't like that. My mom is so simple and that's what I love about her. And then she hits me with this expensive taste. I think that that's a kind of an act from moms. You think so? Kind of, yeah. You'll see it more now as you'll be working at this level. But like, you know, my mom is like, I'm very simple. I like, you know, nothing special. And you're like, all right. And then, you know, she wants a car. It's like, what kind of car do you want? Yeah.

Mercedes, Lexus. I'm like, okay. Then she was like, let's swap it out. I want a different, this was like a month later. I'm like, swap it out. It's not a dress. I mean, and then it's like, you know, I like simple things. Oh, okay.

You know, I'm flying you to this thing. Is it first class? Yeah, of course. Where are we staying? Four seasons. Oh, that's nice. I was walking through the hotel lobby. I saw these earrings that I would love to have. And I'm like, all right. Can I have them? You're like, sure. Gets them. And then she's like, I kind of don't want...

And you're like, wait, wait a minute. Like, so what you learn, like with my mom, it's that it's about the, the get, like I, I, it's like almost like an addiction where it's like, I want the thing. Then she gets the thing and she's like, Oh, I want another thing. Oh, it's very like, that's hard to fulfill. It was like this growing up where she was like, I went to like TJ Maxx today and I bought these 10 things on clearance for like a dollar 50 each. And you're like,

okay, all right, good for you. And the next day you're like, what are you doing? She's like, I'm going back to TJ Maxx to return all those things. It's like this chase, you know? Or she goes like, can I get this thing, these shoes? And you're like, all right. And then she gets them and she's like, oh, well, that was the, I got them. Now the dopamine kind of fades away and she's like, I need a new, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then she sees me as this like, the fucking central bank. So she's just like,

what else can I get? And because you're her son, you're like, how do I say no? Yeah. I mean, I just, sometimes I'm just like, you're out of your mind. Get out. I don't even answer her, you know? Oh, that's how it was about the houses. She said more and more. She was like, all of them were like 2 million and above. And I was like, you don't need this. Yeah. Yeah. Stop being ridiculous for a moment, which caught me so off guard because my mom is,

I don't think she, I wish she had more of that. Actually. I wish she wanted more. Really? She's so simple. She doesn't really ask for anything that isn't essential to her. Like hearing aids or something like that. Yeah. She has, where's hearing aids. She, uh, she's had like some, some dental problems and stuff like that. So I've gotten her to like new teeth and stuff. So she doesn't ask for anything extravagant. She doesn't ask for any experiences or trips, which is what I wish she asked for more. I tried her to go to, I tried to get her to do experience more stuff because I feel like she doesn't live much.

Which is what I want for my family. You'll get her to do some of those things, I bet. I think so. Maybe if you do some of them together, too. She flew to L.A. the summer before COVID for the first time. And I was so excited to take her around and see all the touristy things. And a lot of people don't realize there's not a lot to do in L.A. as a tourist. There's like the key five to seven things that you're like, oh, okay, Hollywood Boulevard, Santa Monica Pier, McDonald's.

maybe the Griffith observatory or something like that. But you can do all that in a weekend. There's not much else to do. I took her to go do all those things. And she was all, I took her to Hollywood Boulevard. She goes, huh?

It's not like the movies. Yeah, yeah. I go, nah. And this is it. She's not impressed by much. Sure. So I wish she wanted to go do more things, but she doesn't express what those interests are. I don't know what a lot of my mom's interests are like wants are. And I wish I did, but she also might not have any. Some people are just so blue collar that like their whole life is wake up, go to your nine to five, come home, cook dinner, watch TV every day for the rest of your life. You're so happy with that.

Yeah, I mean, but also like, you know, maybe getting some of the opportunities presented will change some of those things. Yeah, very well could be. I mean, it could be like, you know, hey, mom, you ever been to Hawaii or something? Yeah, you ever been naked skydiving? There you go. You ever get banged from the skydiving instructor from behind? I don't want to think about that. She's like, actually, that's a very cool idea. Actually, I'll tell you just how. I would love to open up the chute above a barn with horses and then. Oh, my God. I'm going to fucking throw up.

I'll tell you how white trash and non-extroverted my mom is. This is how bad she is at going outside and talking to other people. She just found out maybe a year ago that her current boyfriend used to be her second cousin.

used to be yeah through marriage oh okay and that marriage got divorced okay but i was like there's eight billion people in the world you just found this out gotta fuck this guy yeah who you might have met at some point in your life before probably how long they've been together now like two years i think okay yeah man so do they are they grasping like your mom especially what's happening with you like they get it

I think they know I'm doing well, but I don't think they understand the full extent. Yeah, don't tell them. What do you mean? Don't explain to them exactly what's... Just let them...

Well, it's hard because it's like, who do I revel in the accomplishments with? You know, it has to be my friends. Yeah. My mom doesn't get it at all. Don't, don't, don't break it down for her. She'll be like, oh, get me that fucking barn. Like, yeah. Dude, by the way, you know what she settled for instead of the horses? Goats. Oh, she's got goats now? She wants goats. So eventually she'll get some fucking goats. You're going to, believe me, you don't want her to know. Don't just be like, I'm working. I just want her to be proud for the right reasons.

Yeah, I'm sure she is, man. I mean, it's got to be, you know, it's got to be a thrill. Like, I have kids that are young, but it's got to be so thrilling for a parent to see that happen to their kid. How many kids do you have? Two. How old? They're boys. Five and seven. Five, seven. And what are their interests at this age? The seven-year-old likes video games. He likes Roblox, Minecraft. Okay. He's really into that stuff. That's all very normal. Yeah. Okay.

Little math whiz. He's a cool, eccentric kind of kid. Autistic? Not autistic, no. Just good at stuff? Just good at stuff. And then the five-year-old, it's just cars. It is cars. There's the autism. Got it. Got it. Cars, cars, cars, cars. And I thought I liked cars as a kid. This dude gets into cars, turns them on. And people are like,

turns him on he's like is there a clutch and then he just pushes the clutch turns the car on revs the engine turns it off he's like what other cars you got he gets on really we went to a place he turned on 40 cars and the guy was like what the fuck is happening where'd you go there's 40 cars it was like a car dealership you know and they were like he's turning on every car i go if you let him yeah yeah he's co-signing on this so yeah he will start every car does he have a favorite car

The funny thing is, I go, what's your favorite car? He's like, Toyota. He just knows name brands. Yeah, he knows like 40 names from their emblems. He's like, oh, there's a Subaru. I'm like, Jesus, how do you know this shit? But he goes, I go, what's your favorite car? He's like, Toyota. He's like, will you get one? I go, no. Way above a Toyota. Yeah.

He has no concept that he can do better than Toyota. I'm like, dude, what are you talking about? You see my cars. What are you talking about Toyota? He's like, I love Toyota. That's so funny. I love that he's nerdy about it at such a young age. Loves it. Loves it. It is the only thing he gives a shit about. Really? Yeah.

Totally. That's autism, man. Have you had him tested? Yeah. You did have him tested? No. Oh, come on, man. I'm curious. No, he's not. I don't think he's autistic. He's pretty like... Because he likes cars that much? Yeah, man. Too concentrated on one thing is a little concerning. Really? He's either autistic, which is awesome, or he's working on a manifesto. Oh, fuck. Cramp right now? Yeah, hamstring cramp. Fuck. I know.

You have a baseball in the back of your leg? No, I'm holding it. My hamstring just cramped up. We did deadlifts right before I came here. By the way, you look great, man. Thanks, bro. You look fantastic. How much are you down over the past year? The past year? Probably around 40 pounds or something. That's incredible. What made you want to make that change? Just being sick of it. Of just being fat? Yeah. Okay. Or just being like, you know, you feel like...

like unfulfilled potent like you're just like I know I could do better yeah and you're always it's bothering you like you're not like oh this is great yeah but you're like I'd like to do but you do like these half-ass versions of it yeah you know eat clean for like a week or two or like work out for five days yeah and then you're like I don't you just write back to your thing so it was just like I just want to address this so it was just like

slowly going after something, you know? Now, do you feel like it's affected you on stage, like being in better shape or because you're so established, you've been established as a comedian, people already respect your comedy? I don't think... Do you get any shit being like, oh, Tom's changed, he got skinny now? Yes, yes. He's trying to be something else now? Yeah, but I completely...

dismiss and ignore that like 100 you know i mean yeah it's usually it's dudes um which is insane yeah they go bring back fat tom why because they they go like that's when that's when i that's when i found you or that's why i liked you more than you're funny i'm like this is nonsense because of the way i look that's i mean that's it's it's nonsense i just i completely i mean i'll never entertain it i don't i don't pay any mind to it i don't

I don't respond to it. You're better than I am. Really? I'll copy and paste tour dates in a comment section and be like, pull up, pussy. I'm waiting to fight somebody at a venue. I can't fucking wait. Okay. Cannot fucking wait, dude. You gotta let that go, dude. I know that's me being 27 and egotistical, but I can't stay. I threatened to fuck somebody's grandma one time. I DM'd her. Because she said some shit to you? The grandson said some shit to me. What'd he say?

I was in Chicago. It was summer of 2021 and he just started going in on, you know, typical shit. You're not funny, not funny, not funny. All this kind of shit. And I had time. Yeah. Which is a huge misconception, by the way, when people, people's instinctual rebuttal on the internet is go, Oh, you have all this time to respond to people. Yeah, man. Yeah. I woke up at 4 PM. Didn't have to work till eight.

I have so much time. I have time. Right? Yeah. So we start to go back and forth. And he's saying all this mean shit. So I go to his profile, obviously, which is what you do when you have an online beef. You go, I got to find some ammo. Yeah, yeah. And he had posted a picture with his grandma. And I was in Chicago. Yeah. And he also happened to be in Chicago. So I DM'd his grandma the nastiest, freakiest shit I could think of, trying to smash. I was like, I'm going to...

come in your iv like the nasty shit i could think of yeah like deliver some deep dick pizza whatever chicago puns i could think of sure and he was fucking living yeah yeah he's like i'm gonna fucking find you i'm gonna fly to one of your shows and i was like cool i'll buy you two tickets one for you and your grandma just come through dude yeah i never answered it but i was like i wanted his family to know like they they raised a fucking pussy yeah yeah i did one time a guy was like

Like, you're fat or something. So I went to his profile. Uh-huh. And the picture was him and his mom. Oh. And his mom was a pretty big lady. So I just wrote to him. I go, is the pig in your profile your mother? And he wrote back, LOL. And I was like, is that a yes? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, so you're dishing this out? And that's the fucking person that bred you? Mommy issues. A literal fucking animal? Yeah. So...

I don't know. That was fun. Dude, the courage of people on the internet is fucking unbelievable. Nah, dawg. Show them. Show them what happens. It's nuts, man.

Just trolls that live at home talking the most amount of shit. Of course. But that's what I'm saying is that people say all this stuff. I don't know, dude. I'm focused on all these other things. Yeah. And I go like, I really don't have time. I don't even want to entertain it. I'm like, okay. Yeah. I don't know why I can't. You will. You'll let it go because it's going to be...

The more you're working and the more opportunities you get and the more things you have going on, you'll realize you have less time and less interest in responding and engaging. It just makes it hard to navigate who you want to be, I think. Because if so many people think you're this and expect you to be this, it's really hard to not turn into that. Because you go, well, if you're going to think I'm an asshole anyway, why don't I just be an asshole? If I'm being nice and you already think I'm an asshole... You're having this incredible success, right? Yeah.

And then you think about, think about like Taylor Swift, Tom Cruise, somebody with an enormous fan, like following. I mean, if someone's like Taylor Swift, your music sucks. Do you think that she's like, I need to fucking engage this person?

No. Right. Why? Because she's like, I have better things to do. I'm doing a stadium tonight and another one tomorrow. And I'm like, I'm focused on my work. Hey, Tom Cruise, your movie sucks. Okay. Yeah. I have fucking five more in production coming. Like, you know, there's a point where you're just going to be like, yeah, I'm a pretty busy guy with a lot going on. Yeah. And if you think I suck, God bless. Yeah.

I got things to do. I think it's just scary how much power those kind of people do have because there's a subculture of cancel culture. Getting canceled is due to something you did or at least allegedly did. Right, right. But there's a subculture of people who like, you didn't do anything wrong, but people just don't like you enough that they go, let's all collectively get to know each other. If we all just talk about how much we fucking hate this person so much, it'll

it'll spread for, I'll give you an example of that. And it's really not fair. And I'm guilty of it is like, I met John Mayer the other night, right? At, at MSG was with Chappelle. Yeah. And I'd never met him before. I wasn't the most familiar with his music, but all I'd ever heard was that he was, that he was a douchebag. Oh, right. I had heard he was an asshole and a douchebag the entire time. So my impression of him without knowing him was, I was like, this guy's an asshole. Like, I don't know if I want to meet him or whatever.

and he came up to me it was the nicest guy ever yeah and i was like holy i immediately felt such guilt that i had any kind of preconceived notion of whatsoever but it realized i was like that that shit spreads people not liking you is contagious even if there's for no reason whatsoever and that's the kind of stuff that could make its way to not just regular people who are going to come out who were thinking about coming out to shows and then somebody told them i was an asshole and they go oh well then maybe i don't want to spend the money to

to come see him. And that can make its way into studio heads and networks. I'll tell you something about that though. You have zero control over that. Zero. You have zero control over what people say about you, especially when your profile grows and is at a large, but here's what you do control who you are as a person, how hard you work at your craft, how you treat people. Like those things are,

you do control. So if everyone's like, Matt's an asshole, he's a cunt of a person, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, you know what? I'm nice to people. I treat people with respect. Then you know that that narrative is a false narrative. And the most you can do, best you can do is ignore it and keep being a good person. Keep treating people well. Keep putting on the best shows you can put on. And that's who you are. You're not who people say you are. You know who you are. Yeah. I think I need to focus less on

How can I get everybody on my side and get everybody to like, rather than just being like, okay, if I have, let's say 16 million people that follow me on TikTok, I have 16 million fans on this thing, right? Yeah.

Why don't I just focus on pleasing those people who have given me the career that I've had? I mean, it's like, you know what? When people are like, you suck. I think the thing to really think is you go, there's some people that think I'm pretty great. And guess what? I'm going to play to them. Yeah. I'm going to play to them and enjoy this experience with them. And these people who are like, you're the worst. Be like, all right, there's a whole bunch of other people. I hope you find someone you enjoy. Yeah. And then just.

Enjoy what you have. Yeah. The only thing I've been focused on is I would love to get more guy fans, and they're coming in. They're trickling in slowly but surely, and I love it. I'll send some your way. Call for the love of God. Send some of that hot tail over here.

Matt has a Netflix special coming out in November called Natural Selection. Yeah. You're going to shoot it in. I'm shooting it end of September, September 22nd and 23rd in Washington, D.C. At the Constitution Hall. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing place. So excited, man. It's so cool. Very happy for you. Thank you, man. Happy for all your success. So much going on. Don't lose your mind. Don't get AIDS. Have fun out there.

Get your mom those horses. Oh, fuck no, dude. No, it was really fun. Thanks for coming by today, dude. It was a great time. Thank you, man. It was great to chat with you. Yeah, I hope we do it again. All right, see you guys next week. Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes to the top of the swath, the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call Two Bears, One Cave.