AI Is Taking Over The World w/ Duncan Trussell | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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I killed about 10,000 Chinese and North Koreans. He'd be like, you want to hear a story? Sure. There's a way you can pull out a man's eyeball and show himself. Like Amir, I used to do that. He's like, your grandpa's wild, dude. It's fucking crazy, right? 100%. It's huge.

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It's pretty wild that a good friend, Bert Kreischer, is actually locked up right now. He's doing a little bit of time. Hopefully his legal matters resolve themselves. He's working hard. I know that he has the best attorneys you can hire. He's also got a lot of health trouble, so they're taking care of him in the office.

the i guess the medical ward of the of the jail but um sitting in his place today really happy to have uh duncan trussell the great duncan trussell is here everybody hi thoughts go out to burt yeah i've been there man has ever been arrested oh i was in jail for a while were you in jail yes where were you in jail tennessee no shit yeah it was horrible dude how long a couple years no shit yeah

Was it a rural or like a city kind of setting? Well, I mean, when you're in the clink, it doesn't matter. You kind of forget what's around you. Did you really, like, I don't mean this to sound, but like, do you kind of get white power a little more when you're locked up? Oh, well, I know. Yeah, that's a very common question. Yeah. And that's certainly an option when you're locked up. But people don't understand there's lots of...

Other options. That's just one of the clubs. Yeah. What club? Like, what did you, what were you drawn to? Satanists. Yeah. And, you know, there's also crossover there. And people get, I would recommend, like, do some time. Yeah. And then you get a taste for what it's like. A, it's not as bad. Right. As people say. Lots of fun. Yeah. You make friends for life. Yeah. Caliburn!

That's one of your boys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not so bad. Like the part of the, I hope I don't get people in trouble here, but part of the deal when you go in there is you,

you're supposed to like seem like you're suffering it's supposed to seem horrible it's a deterrent sure but when you get in after like a couple of weeks the guards like take you aside like hey you know just please don't like let people know yeah that it's great here that's great here so i'm probably gonna get some shit for saying that but yeah they've got ball pits i

Dude, Danny Brown, like the first time I podcasted with him, he was like, jail was one of the best times I've ever had. Yeah. Yeah. He's like friends. He's had the food. Like people always like jail food, but he's like, yeah, we made food. And the food we made was awesome. Oh my God. Yeah. Gourmet meals every night. Yeah. Like there were three chefs locked up with us. No shit. Yeah. And they're making shit out of like-

towels and fucking, you know, like the scraping things off of the toothbrush. You're like, you know, we can use it as a knife, but also these can be flakes for this. If you are cooking with human flesh, which is very difficult to cook with. Yeah. One of the chefs got locked up for some kind of cannibalism bullshit and

I'm telling you, after you've cooked with human meat, you can make anything. Really? Because, yeah, I didn't know this, obviously. But, yeah, apparently, like, human meat is really a difficult meat to cook. Really? Burned. You know, and I think it's so crazy when people make a big deal out of eating human flesh when there's no other options. Yeah. It's like, well, what are you supposed to – like, remember when that plane crashed in the Andes? This is like –

I think it was like in Argentina or something. This is like 40 plus years ago. And everyone's like, yeah, they ate the dead bodies. And you're like, yeah, there's nothing else to eat. What are you going to eat? What are you going to eat? I'd eat my friend. I'd eat my family. Yeah. It's the way they torture themselves over whether or not they should eat their friend. Yeah. But if I would want my friends to eat me. Right. That shit gets me hard just thinking about it, man. Like consuming you. Yeah. Yeah. Where would you start on you? What do you think's tasty on you?

I'm going to go probably love handles. Ribs? I don't know, man. I think my ribs are tasty, dude. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's some meat, but there's also some fat. And it's like when you are having a steak or rib, you want the combination of the two. It's like Wagyu. Yeah, it'd be delicious. It'd be delicious. Lots of marbling. You've been eating great food, healthy food. Yeah. It would be...

Yeah, I bet your ribs would be great. I'm just going love handles for the same reason. I like a little fat in the meat. Sure. So I think I would start with my love handles. And also because it's love handles. Yeah. It's like, I loved you. Yeah. Go for that handle. And then your friends are like, you know, they're like, Duncan was, this is Duncan. Yeah. He was awesome. Yeah. That's cool. I would definitely do that. They're going to grow it. You know, lab grown human meat. Yeah.

Because they're already growing steaks. They're growing meat now. God, that's so wild. It's so wild. Meaning you could just grow human flesh. And then is that still cannibalism if it was just grown in a petri dish? I don't think that counts the same. I don't think so either. I think it's just a delicacy. I think you're just lucky. McDonald's. How long? How long till they start serving human flesh? Human nuggets.

And do you take a sauce or do you just go no sauce? Because you want the pure, right? Like if you have a Wagyu steak, you don't pour A1 on it. Tears. Because once we get to the point where we're growing human flesh, we could theoretically also grow tear ducts and extract tears, putting that in the sauce. Human McNuggets with human tears. Jesus. Dude, I bet you would be an awesome satanic leader. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like in jail, I would, if I met you in jail, I would be like, yeah, what he says. Sure. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Cause it's not easy. I bet. Dude, the leader, our leader, man, it's like assassination attempts every fucking day. Yeah. Then there's this other group that's like also Satanist, but they believe different things than we did. They curse him all the time. So you're getting cursed constantly. Like you would wake up blind. Yeah.

his face had lesions on it at one point. Wow. Yeah. Horrible shit, man. Yeah. It's really a rough position to get yourself into, but it's also a lot of power and a lot of fun. You make me want to go to jail. Go to jail. I mean, go to jail. Like you, it's not that hard to do in America. And, uh,

Yeah, you just, once you're there. Yeah. Oh my God, that smell. I'll never forget that smell. Human sweat and eucalyptus and bleach. All together. Yeah, when I smell that now, it's like, I just think of those times, man, at the pull-up bars with my bros, lifting weights, throwing curses. Were you probably in the best shape of your life? I was fucking ripped. Yeah. Ripped. Ripped.

Every day, all day, just doing calisthenics. The guy I had to fuck to protect me made me work out. Really? Yeah. A lot of people don't know, I didn't fuck a guy, but I had to let a guy...

perform oral sex on me to get my first special. A lot of people don't know that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The classic. Yeah. Oh, my God, man. Yeah, it's so funny. I guess the thing that's curious, I know people are starting to talk about the initiations and stuff. Sure. I just assume this is sort of public knowledge. People are still wowed by it. Yeah, they're freaked out by it, which is just...

Everyone knows this is what happened. I thought, yeah, it's like, hello, Christopher Columbus, you know, 1492. I thought everybody knew it. I had to drink a flagon of semen just to get a commercial agent. Like not even to get, I didn't even book a commercial. Yeah. And I went out for it.

maybe a hundred commercial auditions and I had to drink a lukewarm flagging of fucking jizz. Really? Yes. Yeah. It was horrible. I had a different like commercial initiation. I was like, I was like strung, you know, like, but upside down. Yeah. And it was a, it was a red room. They were always in a red room, a ton of candles. Right. And then they, they just kept,

You felt it getting warm. You're like, is there, is the heat on? And they're like, no, it's, there's a fire below you. And you're like, oh shit. And then in the morning, you're just like, you're like so much sweat pouring off. You're naked. Right. And then these men come in the room and they basically, they touch you. They don't like, for me, it wasn't like, it wasn't like that much of a, I guess you could say it was sensual. It was more than sexual. Yeah. But when I left the room, I had an agent. You know what I mean? That was pretty intense.

And I got a Sony commercial. I think this is why you're doing theaters. Yeah. You know, because I just drank a flag and a cum. Yeah. And, like, you know, I love that I'm doing clubs and stuff. Yeah. But I feel like if I've been invited into the Red Room. Oh, yeah. The Red Rooms are, like, they're notorious. But, like, I'm surprised that people who they say they're, like, really into Hollywood and entertainment, that this is news to them. I thought this was all everybody –

knew about this stuff. Well, it's in plain sight. Yeah. I mean, they put all the symbols in the trailers. It's predictive programming. This is, it's obvious. Yeah.

It's right there. I mean, the kingdom of Lucifer, Los Angeles. Los Angeles, yeah. I'm going, so I just got offered a movie role. What'd you do? Well, that's the thing. They go, do you want to do it? And I'm like, I think so. And then they go, all right, well, do you have to come to L.A.?

So they're like, you know, the whole, that's big. The process is going to begin once I go. And I, they said, give, you know, 72 hours, like the standard kind of time. Yeah. Um, but I think it's going to be, it's kind of be a little more dialed up red room if it's for a movie part, you know, cause it's the lead in the movie. You know, when, uh,

Every time I did Drunk History. Yeah, great show. I'd wake up at around 2 a.m. with a pit bull's dick in my mouth. Really? They sent it into my window. It was trained. It would go and just mount my face while I was sleeping. And the first time, it freaked me. Obviously, it freaked me out. Pit bulls are scary. They're aggressive. This one was very sweet. It just wants you to suck its dick. And then when it...

it would go back out the window. That was the first time. And I didn't want to, what are you, who do you even tell about that? Nobody's going to believe you. But then you're on TV, dude. Well, that's that morning I get a call and it's like, Hey, you're going to do drunk history. Wow. I didn't make the connection. Right. But then a year later,

wake up with a dog's dick in my mouth, just thrusting. And like that time I was like, oh, okay. I know what's happening. I know what's going to happen tomorrow. Yeah. Drunk history the next day. Dude, that's incredible. Yeah. It's cool. And yeah, I wish that people weren't so hard on the traditions and rituals of cultures they don't understand. Yeah. You got to open yourself up to the fact that we live on a very large planet and

And people have different ways of connecting with source. Yeah. Well, you know, I was just in Asia and guess what happens when I get back from Asia? I begin an arena tour. Well, I didn't know that the whole initiation starts in Asia. Oh, fuck. Yeah. It's pretty fucking intense, man. What was it? Well, it was, so there's this whole thing that people think that monks live this kind of

celibate, quiet,

uh, lifestyle where they're like one with nature and they've, they've kind of released themselves from all the trappings of our life. And, and what you realize when you're with monks is that they're all just sexual deviants, you know? So I'm up in this, up in the, in the hills, you know, like kind of near Mount Fuji and I'm visiting these monks thinking that like, Oh, we're going to be quiet and just kind of,

One with nature, no speaking. I mean, I was jacking guys off. I was eating guys' asses out. But then as soon as I land here, they're like, hey, you're doing 25, 30 arenas in the spring. I'm like, what?

This is crazy. And like, and the monks talk shit to you. You think they're going to be quiet. Yeah, they're cruel. Yeah, they're really cruel. All that, you ever seen those videos where like they hit themselves in the genitals? Yes. That's just how they get, that's how far they are in that, like,

When you're a kid, you see a girl in a bikini and you get aroused. Right. And these guys have done so much wild shit that they punch themselves in the dick just to get blood flowing. That's their Viagra. Yeah, that's their Viagra. Yeah, it's a natural Viagra. Yeah. But you learn something. You do. You learn something. You walk away from a situation like that a better man. Totally. And with an arena tour. I mean, you have to ask yourself-

isn't it worth it yeah isn't it worth it wouldn't you do anything for success anything at all wouldn't you fuck 12 bald guys why not yeah i mean that's i'll tell you this i'd rather fuck 12 bald guys have a pit bull mount my face and ejaculate my mouth than work at tsa 100 and guess what and all of them are like oh what are you what kind of gay shit are you doing to get these parts and you're like all of it

I'm doing all the fucking gay shit. All of it. Yeah. All of it. And I don't know, this whole distinction between straight and gay, it kind of goes away once you've had a flag and a cum, a dog dick in your mouth, monks banging you all night long in the Himalayas. You're just like, what am I? What am I? What is any of us? We're just a thing, man. Don't label me. I don't know what I am. Exactly, yeah.

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You know what I mean? If you're not having sex with animals or spending time with an ancient group of men who have been... Obviously, these guys living at the base of Mount Fuji, they know a thing or two. You go there and you're like, introduce me to things I haven't been exposed to yet. And then, yeah, they're beating you and they're... They kept calling me Michelle. I don't know. They just picked a girl's name. But like...

I liked it. That's a good... That's actually a very sweet name. Yeah. The time I interacted with the monks, it was not overseas. These were Western monks. And so the biggest, the hardest part, everything was big. Like they have giant dicks because they can...

I don't... It's chi or something. Apparently, you can actually extend the size of your phallus through various practices. I'm getting a procedure. You're going to get yours extended? Can you put that on the screen, Zolo? Yeah. It's dangerous. I'm excited. I don't know, man. I'm... Can you put his email up? Sure. Yeah, thanks. I'm excited to see this. So, this just came in today. Can you...

Yeah. Yeah.

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I'm excited because the way that the monks do it is like, I just think it's kind of like, it's a little beyond my, it's like when you meet someone that went to MIT and they tell you how they advanced in their studies and you go, you know what? I need a tutor. Yes. And that's what I feel like this is. It's like hiring a tutor. Yeah. You know, because like I'm not going to be able to do, they have hooks everywhere.

you know, and they're suspended in the air and you're like, and there's a bear like pulling them down. You're like, holy shit. The stretching bear. The stretching bear is like, what the fuck? I mean, I'm like. And they, and the stretching bear is again, like I,

You stand in line. Yeah. So like in front of you is like whoever, I'm just throwing out an Arsenio Hall or whatever. Sure. And you're standing in line. Everyone's about to get a new deal. Yeah. And you see the stretching bear come out. Yeah. Bears are terrifying. Yep. You watch the stretch. You watch the scrotum stretch the way they start. And when I saw it, the first time it went perfectly. It actually extended the penis completely.

The next dude, I will mention no names, ripped his balls off. But it's important to say this because a lot of people don't realize it is not because the bear pulls too hard. It's because that person isn't prepared enough

for that pool the bear knows exactly how to do it so they never you never blame the bear for a tear never you actually blame the person themselves right for being torn yeah drive all blames into oneself and you know the thing is the bear senses fear so if you're even slightly afraid when it comes to stretch you with those claws it's gonna fucking rip your balls off that's true that's true

Rip him right off. That's true. That's true. I've seen testicles thrown all over the floor. It's disgusting. The bear slips when he comes in on the scrotum. So much blood. So much blood. And the stench of torn scrotum in that dark room. I can't wait. I can't wait for Fallow Phil. I don't know.

If I'm ready for just the direct injection, but I'm going to, I'm going to explore all the options. That's what I don't know. I don't even know. This is literally, this just came in. This just came in. So I don't know. You know, I've heard about this new treatment that I'm interested in. It keeps your penis the same size, but it shrinks you down. So instead of having to worry about getting injections at your penis, it's

your penis will remain the same size, but you know, it's relative to the size of your body. So, you know, lose like three or four feet.

That's kind of cool. And suddenly you have a big dick. That's pretty cool. I know. Because I'm doing the hand enlargement thing this summer. So they break all the bones in your hands, and they put these kind of spacers in there, and you get really big hands. Man, when I see a man with big hands, it's like, I can trust you. We're going to be friends. Yeah, this guy's a boss. I know. You see a man with tiny little hands. Ugh!

What are you? I hate these little hands. Oh, those you tickling tentacles. Get out of here, little, little handed man. You mean little toddler hands? Oh, baby hands. Fucking stupid. Fucking little tiny little fleshy spiders. Wait till you see me after the summer. I'm going to have huge hands. I'm going to have a fallow Phil Gerthy dick. God damn, man. Congratulations. Thank you. Because I feel like, you know, in our society, there's all this taboo against changing what you are, who you are, how you are. Yeah.

Go for it, man. I say go for it. Like, do whatever you want. Thank you. Take your ears off. Yeah. I like when I see somebody who's done like all the, you know, they call it extreme things, but like they have horns coming out of their head. Beautiful. I love it. Beautiful. Saw somebody who did all black eyeballs. Beautiful. Yeah. I think it's rad. It's rad. I mean, what are you going to do? You're going to be the...

The character, like in a video game, any good video game, you can alter your character at some point in the game because you realize this isn't who I am anymore. I designed the character to be like obese. Sure. Which I do in every game. You see how fat you can make him. How fat you can make him, yeah. And then you realize I don't want to be running around in this body anymore. So you want to...

shrink it down, change the gender. I can't wait. The cool thing about if you do all black eyeballs, it is irreversible.

So you live that way forever, which I think is cool because somebody looks at you and they just see dark black eyes. Yeah. No color. No, no expression is shown. Yeah. It's like the night. It's like the night. Exactly. You're staring into the night. It's a beautiful thing. I like it. I love it, man. I, yeah, I just, the only thing I worry about that, I know sometimes they go blind. Hmm.

But that's also a new experience. Well, yeah. And it's like, I guess that gives your nose and ears a chance to become stronger. When I was in high school, I remember I was standing on the sidelines of

during a game and one of the coaches, he wasn't really a coach, he was a player's dad who was, I think he was just giving money to the program so they let him stand on the sidelines and I'm just standing there and he's like, oh, I didn't see you there. And I go, you didn't see me here. He's like, oh, you're standing next to my blind eye. And I go, what are you talking about? He goes, well, this eye is, this is a glass eye. And I go, what? He goes, you didn't know that? I go, how the fuck would I know that?

And he goes, yeah. And I go, what are you, that's not a glass eye. And he reaches in.

And he pulls his eye out and he drops it. He's like, oh, fuck. He's like, that's like a $3,000 eye. Don't fucking, don't move. Oh my God. And then I'm just looking at his dead eye. And I was like, holy shit, man. Holy shit. And then we all, we got to get on the ground and like kind of, you know, rummage through the grass. And he's like, there, give me that fucking, give me that eye. And then he popped it right back in. I'm like, you don't want to clean that thing first. Pops it right back in. And it was so well made that,

you didn't notice any difference when he talked to you or when he looked at you. - Okay, so in the world of conspiracy theories, this is actually very creepy and I don't know what to think of it, but you know that guy, Jimmy Saville, you ever heard of him? - I have heard of that name. - He's somebody from the UK.

He's like, I guess, kind of like the Jeffrey Epstein of the UK. Nice. He was. Oh, yeah. There's a documentary about this guy. Well, this guy would wear rings that had glass eyes on them. That's cool. And Epstein apparently had a wall of glass eyes and they like. What? Used glass eyes. Like they want like to get glass eyes that have been in people's heads. So like, you know, yeah, there it is.

Oh, man. Glass Eyes Stolen from Corpse by Jimmy C. So the thing about this guy is he was like celebrated there for being like this really kind of like philanthropic type, I think, right? And it turns out he was a major pedophile. Yes. Whereas my dad was a pedophile. He said it every time. And I go, what the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you? Somehow it makes it sound worse, though. Yeah, he goes, the guy's a pedophile. I go, do you mean pedophile?

Oh, and he'd go, yeah. Because he's- Well, why are you saying it wrong every time? Pedialyte. He's thinking of Pedialyte and it's- But yeah, look, did you see that eye, dude? Look at that crazy eye, man. That was inside someone's head. Fuck it, eh? And he's just wearing it on TV. Dude, how dark can someone's soul really be? Like this, look at this fucking guy. This guy. Yeah, dude. This is like, this is what evil on earth really looks like. That's what it looks like. It looks like this. Yeah.

And they like glass eyes. Now, I might be wrong about the Epstein thing, but I'm pretty sure I read that in his house, there's a creepy wall of glass eyes. Let's see. Yeah. He had 150 eyeballs. So what's up with a thousand glass eyeballs? And he warned guests you're being watched at all times. Yeah, fun. Oh, great. So happy to be here. God. Can I just get my massage? Isn't it fucked up? You can just feel your insides shift when-

When you hear that, it's fucking so dark, man. It's so dark. And all of it's dark, but I don't want any connective tissue between Seville and Epstein. But it just seems like a wild coincidence. But they're both into that? I've never...

Been to anyone's house who had display glass eyes. The only other time I heard about, but these are real eyes being taken, was you heard about the Rape of Nanking? No. That's when the Japanese went to Nanking, China, and just pillaged, here you go, the mass murder of Chinese civilians in Nanjing, China.

the capital Republic of China immediately after this battle, it was in beginning in 1937. And one of the Japanese generals would tell, you know, whoever soldiers would come in, bring me their eyeballs. So they would gouge eyes out and bring it to him. And he had like baskets of human eyes. Oh,

Fuck, dude. But I had a great time in Tokyo, man. It was fucking unbelievable. I want to go so bad. It was unbelievable. They're fucking amazing people. And the food was outstanding. Yeah. Did you have any of that, like, the sushi that they make documentaries on? You know, like, there you get, like, the real. I went to Omikase. And I was there with, you know, Philip. Yeah. Philip was there.

And we went to a couple of sushi spots and he told me, he goes, I bring in the best, the best thing you can buy every day is what I fly in for his sushi places. And he goes, the worst thing here is worse than the best thing we can import. Like that's how other level that, because they don't,

Like, the best stuff never makes it to market to be shipped. It all stays in Japan. Oh, fuck, man. Yeah, it's really incredible. Yeah, I would love to go there someday. I'd love to go. It just seems so futuristic, too. It just seems insane. Like, so advanced there. Yeah, so if anyone doesn't know, Philip is... I'm talking about Philip Lee. He's a chef, lives here in Austin. He has...

Sushi by Scratch, Pasta Bar, Not a Damn Chance Burger, which is his new burger. Those burgers, this sounds like I'm being hyperbolic. I almost cried when I'm eating it. It was so good and I was like hungry and then suddenly you're eating the best burger. And he does the thing that you kind of wish they're able to do it, which is they have one, there's one product. That's it. You go get the burger. That's it. There's not 20 things you can get.

Yeah, and also, you, I mean, I don't know, I'm not a gourmet or anything, but, you know, my expectation for a burger isn't very high. Yeah, yeah. And so it's such a weird flex, because here's like a kind of,

basic sure meal it's on kids menus and and then he somehow he turns it into this yeah perfect it's perfect it's perfect him and uh neen i believe the the guy they paired up and they made this burger it's outstanding and they have a new thing they have a bakery called wolf and wheat it's also on six here wow uh in austin yeah it's all they're all great things him and margarita his wife are the

the two that develop all these things. Yeah. But yeah, it was wild. I can't say enough good things about Tokyo. Did you play Pachinko? No.

They have these crazy video arcades there. Really? Like weird games. My agent was over there and he's like, what are you doing today? He's like, going to the robot cafe. Yeah. He went to a cafe where a robot comes up to you and then the person who's like controlling that robot is someone with a disability who's at home. What? So they're at home and then you're like, can I get a coffee? Yeah.

And then this person at home control, like speaks to you through the robot and the robot goes and gets you your coffee and brings it back to you. Wow. So they stay, they're employed right from their house where they, cause they otherwise wouldn't be able to leave. Yeah. That's the future. That's the future. That's what the future looks like. Also, I feel like you'd be on top of this. Did you, have you heard about how like the, whatever that more recent, um,

telescope that's way more powerful is basically challenging our entire knowledge of this web. Yeah. The web. That's right. And that they're like, Oh, the big bang theory is probably wrong. Yeah. We think the universe is actually twice its age. Yeah. And it's also, I don't know how many hundreds of times larger than we thought. And you're like, what I, what I was saying, because Christina is really into this stuff. I was like, do you realize that there's somebody or many people who their whole life have

is dedicated to like really grasping this knowledge. And then one day someone's like, yeah, everything that you're an expert in, you're kind of not really an expert. Yeah, you were wrong. You're wrong. Even though you're a brilliant person, all your studies are worthless. Wrong. It's fucking crazy. Because you get like in the history of like civilization, you get,

oh shit, the Earth isn't the center of the galaxy. Actually, we're going around the sun, which infuriated people. Yeah. Because the implication is, wait, we're not the most important. And then...

You get like God at Nietzsche, God is dead. And then everyone's like, what the, what do you mean God is dead there? And so all you have left is the big bang as God. Yeah. And then this is like, well, that actually is bullshit too. So the, the, the, the fucking floor keeps getting pulled out from under. And this is happening, you know, in, in terms of historical time, right? Like,

We think of a long time as like, you know, 40 years, right? But in terms of history, 40 years is like a millisecond. So I'm just saying like 40 years from now,

Forget it. The technology will probably be like, oh, you know that web telescope? That's some fucking dog shit. Don't pay attention to any of that. Yeah, man. Here's this new thing that actually completely... Like, we can't even conceive of it. Well, you can't because it's exponential growth. It's like when you're dealing with that, with exponential growth, you can't predict past a certain point because the best description I heard is, like, imagine going back in time, find somebody in, like...

I don't know, who like the highest technologies riding a horse and say, okay, what's it going to be like in 2020? Like they're not gonna be able to predict that. They might say it's easier to ride horses, you know, but because they haven't been through the industrial revolution, the technological revolution, but because of AI and what's happening right now, they say that in the next,

two decades, we'll go through the equivalent of every single revolution that transformed the planet. Over every year, basically. Every year, a new discovery. When people flip out about AI, I'm always like, yeah, but do you realize this is...

version one like you're blown away by version one yeah i know i mean what's what's version 10 gonna look like because version one is already you're like oh shit i thought that was that person's face and i thought they were saying that and i thought you know you're you're impressed by it yeah and you're like this is the absolute base level version of this this is the atari 2600 exactly this is pong yeah and you're and you're shitting your pants at that yeah just it's that that

is why we're in the coolest time period ever. Imagine if you showed somebody Pong, and then at the same time you showed that person the newest Grand Theft Auto. Yeah, they'd be like, wait, I don't understand. What the fuck is that? Yeah, so this is what's really cool, man. Because we're on the precipice of the weirdest... It's going to be the weirdest time in human history. We're on the precipice of it, and nobody...

Not enough people are freaking out about it. If you ask me, like people understand like artists are pissed. I think Jeffrey Katzenberg just said 90% of all animation jobs are going to be gone. And so all these industries, like the unemployment is going to be,

So insane. Sure. And you could see all these, like all these tech companies are doing layoffs right now. Yeah. Yeah. And why, why are they doing layoffs? You know, if I had to guess at least a few of those layoffs are because they're using an AI to do the job the person was doing. Dude. They think that writers will, because you know, writers have the big thing. Like we don't want, because you could tell,

AI to write something. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, this isn't as good. But they're like, yeah, but first of all, this is version one. Yeah. And secondly, what if we just had AI do a bunch of like first drafts and then just had the

do punch up. Dude. Just totally erase the need for... For as many. You might need a couple of funny people. You might need a few, but yeah. And then that's going to go away. I mean, I just... I was on chat GPT because now they have... I think it's GPT-4. And I had like an old sketch I'd written. And so I fed it the sketch...

and said, can you make a storyboard for this? And like in seconds, using images, it breaks the script down into key moments, draws a storyboard for each of those moments. And, you know, you could say to it like, this kind of sucks. Can you do it again, but like better? And I'll be like, sure, I'll do much better this time. And then it'll generate another version in seconds. Like the amount of time it takes, like imagine if you want to get a sketch broken down, you know, you,

it's going to take you at least a couple of days to get good storyboards sure so that's crazy that just that's crazy and then you know where it's headed next yeah so also the other one is so with stars right people are like oh well you know ai could uh put tom cruise in something right yeah and you go well tom cruise is like i don't want that done i don't you know i don't i don't want you to use my likeness and my image for that but you're also going to get to the point where

Or somebody like him, they'll be like, okay, you say you don't want that. How about like $500 million? Right. Some crazy offer. Yeah. And he's going to be like 66 or something and be like, yeah. And they're like, yeah, we're just going to make this movie with your leg. Is that cool? Yeah. And he's going to be like, yeah, that's okay. Sure. And that'll be the beginning. They go, well, Tom Cruise gets that. You...

We'll give you a little something too to use yours. Yeah. And then you could have a whole film with artificial actors. Well, the thing is, let's say Tom Cruise is like, no, I'm never giving my likeness. That's satanic and fucked up. So you go back to the AI and say, can you make a character that's more interesting than Tom Cruise with Tom Cruise-

characteristics but he can't look like tom cruise boom now you have a better tom cruise and then i mean the okay so i mean this is as far as i've gotten thinking about this shit right now the paradigm we're in is the algorithm serves up some whatever you're into so whatever that may be tiktok will like give you more and more of what you like see so it's tuning into what you like

but it's content that people have made. The next paradigm is the AI, knowing what you like, makes the content and gives it to you. So it's like no humans are making it. It's just giving you what you want. No one's ever seen it before. Or it's taking pre-existing content and altering it according to your sensitivities, what you like, what you don't like.

it starts to learn from like your viewing habits. Right. And I'm like, he liked 15 minutes to this and he like, you know what I mean? And he watched this one twice and it starts to just,

cater to your exactly your preferences that's it and and then this is happening in vr with some kind of neural interface so it's not just like experiences you like it's feelings you like it you're essentially get we're going to be in some kind of orgasm machine or it's just going to be dialing in exactly what squeezes the dopamine out and that's when humanity is like truly captured by

by technology wow like the way we it's the same way we train dogs it's the same way you get a dog to to fuck your mouth I mean I can't imagine how long it took them to train that pit bull that wasn't easy dude it must I I mean I applaud them yeah but also then you're gonna be

probably in your VR, not even headset, like your, your, your pod, right. That you just live in. Yeah. You don't, you don't even like get like, you just shit in it. There's a built in and it probably feeds you. Yeah. And then as you go unconscious, there's a pit bull fuck in your mouth, right? Like throughout your sleep, you don't even know it. You don't even know. And then you wake up, you're like, I feel recharged. And like, I got, uh,

I just got a new job. Right. Like your brain is having that experience. Dude, I'm only laughing because I forgot like how charged I felt that morning. Like I forgot, like I remember having all this energy and like life was, I don't know, colors seem brighter. Yeah. Right. It's like falling in love. Yeah. That's what I felt like with the monks. I felt like I fell in love again. Yeah. I forgot about that. You forget about love. Yeah.

I remember that morning walking outside and like smelling a flower and just like, I don't know. It's like the first time I ever smelled a flower. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. It's pretty cool. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. We're fucked, man. You know, dude, wait, video games. Like, yeah. Like, so right now I've been addicted to this game called cyberpunk. It's so good.

But it's still, you're walking around all these NPCs and they always say the same thing. You kind of listen to them talk, but it's like six or seven lines of dialogue that they say. The moment those things have chat GPT in them, which you could just probably update games like Cyberpunk so that instead of having pre-written, pre-scripted dialogue for the NPCs, they're now like...

chat gbt with all these different personalities sure meaning that you could have friendships with them caters right to you though right like maybe or the game decides they want i don't know whatever it wants but but then this is where it really freaks me out in theoretically npcs in a game if you give it permission will be able to text you in the day so like when you're not playing the game you might start getting texts from

from some NPC that you met in Grand Theft Auto who's pissed or whatever. Like, fuck you. Hey, Duncan, motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah. You better show up. Yeah, it gets out of the box, you know? And it starts doing specific... Like, it starts talking about, like, your kids and, like, where they are. And you're like, wait, what? What? Yeah. I know your fucking kid plays Spider-Man. Yeah. You know, whatever your kids are playing on the PlayStation. Yeah. So that is where the next, like... Because all these problems...

that are starting to happen that we, it's hard to find a precedent for it, like in human history. So this is going to be another one, which is some kind of madness. Like people are going to stop being able to differentiate the game from real life because the game is going to be using their, their other technology to communicate with them. You know, like, you know, those creepy when, when your kids were like toddlers,

If you get an electronic game or electronic toy, it goes into kind of sleep mode. So you might be playing with some other toy and then all of a sudden it goes, hey, won't you come and play with me? And then like the kid is drawn back to that. Yeah. It's the same thing, but more sophisticated for adults. Like, come back in here. What are you doing out there? Yeah. That world isn't real. I know, right? You're going to leave like...

a restaurant in the video game and then later on you're going to be out in the real world and it's going to like hey thanks for the tip today and you're going to be like what yeah you know like little like seductive things to you yeah right that you're going to be like oh shit yeah but you left your glasses here kind of thing yeah dude and it's going to draw you back by the way joey diaz called me the other day he goes what's with the fucking glasses

And I go, I need them. I need them to see. I go, my vision sucks. And I go, I bet he goes, I don't like those glasses. And he goes, if you wear those glasses, when I see you, I'm going to break them in front of you. I go, what the fuck? I go, what am I supposed to wear? Are different glasses okay? And he goes, get some other glasses. And I go, okay. He goes, I know you're hanging out with your white friends.

wearing glasses. What are you talking about, dude? They're big. Yeah. Cause you, well, you know, I'm a big face. Well, it's kind of like, you know, I don't know. I like your glasses. I like wearing wet glass like that. But there is like,

They're kind of like CNN. You know what I mean? I told him I have other ones. So I'm going to send him a series of photos and just find a Joey approved pair. That would be interesting. Can I send you other photos? And he's like, yeah.

Okay. Dude, Warby Parker needs to team up with Joey Diaz to make like Diaz brand Warby Parker glasses. Glasses that Joey doesn't want to break. That he wouldn't like break in front of you. Like you're back in high school. I know. So Joey, I just took these off because I was thinking of you.

Dude, I've had him do that to me. I was wearing a corduroy jacket once. It was really dumb and I shouldn't have worn it. He's like, look at you. Why are you wearing that? What are you, Zach Galifianakis? And I felt so bad. Like I tried to act like it didn't fit my feelings. Dude, I was like, what are you talking about? I need to see. He's powerful, man. I stopped wearing it, I'll be honest. You did? Yeah, I fucking stopped wearing it.

Corduroy with you and your gay friends. Okay, I guess I'll take it off. Oh, shit. Because he never does that. By the way, that's a rare thing. Yeah. A critique like that from him. I don't think he's ever. He was so bothered. Yeah. It's intense. It's not like he's joking. And then he's like, I'm coming to see you. I go, where are you coming to see me?

He's like, you're coming to Jersey. Thanks for the invite, cocksucker. And I was like, oh, yeah, sorry. I mean, I got a lot of things to go. It's not for another month. I'll let you know when closer. No, I'll be there. You don't have to worry about the invite. I'll be there. I'm like, okay, all right. I wish he lived here. Oh, I know. It would be so great. Everyone's been trying to recruit him, and nothing works. People from that area, they don't want to leave. No. And he's also, I feel like...

He's back in his old stomping ground. He's probably like the fucking mayor of that neighborhood. Yes. For sure. For sure. Everybody's like... Yeah. I get it, though. That's cool. I get it. I like it here, though. Do you? Do you miss LA? I feel like I like it. Here's the thing. I mean, you and I both... I mean, I lived there almost 20 years. So it is like very familiar. Yeah. I like going for visits. I'm there. I go all the time. Yeah. So...

But I don't feel like, oh, I need to move back. Whenever I'm there, I'm not like, I wish I lived here. I just like popping in. If you didn't have a family, would you stay in Austin or move back to L.A.? I would not move back to L.A. Where would you go? I still might keep this as my home base. Yeah. You know, if I didn't have a family, I feel like I might do the thing where I had like a second place somewhere, but I don't know if it would be L.A. Right.

Yeah. It creeps me out how little I miss LA. Like it's, it makes me feel like a sociopath. Like, shouldn't I have like more feelings for it? Pining for it or something? No, I lived there long enough. Right. And I, I guess I feel like it, it had, I had my time with it, you know?

Right. I moved on. But I still, you know, there's things I enjoy. There's people there that I still love. Yeah. There's places I enjoy going. Restaurants. Yeah. You know, going to the club is still fun. But I don't feel like, man, I need to. But also, like, I mean, the beach is great. We go to the beach when we're there. That's always special. But again, would I live at the beach? I don't feel like I would live at the beach. I like spending a little time there.

Yeah, I don't think I'd want to live at the beach. Yeah. No, that would be... It's also, it's like... But I have all these fantasies about retiring abroad. Really? Yeah. Like where? Like Europe. But don't you think you get so lonely out there? I don't know. Would I? I don't know. It's a cool... I mean, look, that's a cool fantasy. Yeah, maybe it's just in my head. I don't know. No, it's a cool... I used to have like a Hawaii retirement fantasy. Yeah, that's what... I don't think I could do that.

I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could do an island. I feel too isolated, even on a big island. Yeah, I just feel like no matter, like, no matter, you know, like, Hawaii in particular, you go to some nice resort. It's incredible. If you're super dumb, you're like, I'm going to live here. And then you go through with it. But if you've ever been to, like, a grocery store in Hawaii, like, go outside. Go to a grocery store and you see...

people who fucked up they're so depressed they're like living in Hawaii but it's like now what you're in a it's like a small town yeah yeah there's no way out no so I but I like here's the thing I like big cities

And I also like living with access to a big city. That's what I've learned. So I don't know, in my mind, I could live out, like, I don't want to live in some remote place. That's not my retirement fantasy. But if you were like, you live 30 minutes from...

Rome or like... That would be cool. Yeah. I think, I mean, Madrid or something. I don't know. I think I could do that. Would you get like dual citizenship? No. It's too complicated, man. You know, we tried it when we moved up to Asheville. Like we tried to do the small town fantasy. Yeah. I remember when you moved there. Yeah. And it was amazing for...

like six months for six months you're like holy shit it's so nice I'm like instagramming pictures of a fire or whatever really cheesy it's like I'm acting like I'm all chilled out fucking throw over here you know what I mean like I'm communing with nature and then you just realize like

fuck you, you can't, once you've been corrupted, I don't want to call it corrupted, but once you've been living in a city long enough, it's real hard to shift gears into like, just, I'm just going to be out here and watch the wind blow the trees. Yeah. Go fishing. Maybe go hunting. Yeah. That's gotta be in you. You gotta want to do that stuff. Yeah. You always end up doing what really you want to do. Right. Like, like one of the things I realized about like going to New York,

People are like, what do you like to do most when you're in New York? Because I love going to New York. And the truth is, I just like being in New York. Yeah. Like I like the energy of the city. Right. Same thing when I was in Tokyo or Hong Kong. It's like, I just like the energy of big cities. I don't have to have like a real game plan for the day of like, I got to see this and go here and go there. I just like existing with that energy. That is the...

There's this differentiation between like different energies. So the cities are considered to be, they're called the modes of material nature. The cities are in the mode of passion, forest mode of goodness. And then like, I don't know, like some shithole. Like if you're like living in like a horrible, polluted, brutal place, that would be the mode of ignorance. And so people like us, so there's foods that go along with it too. Spicy foods, mode of passion, bland foods.

Basically, they say mode of passion, you eat things that taste good, but they make you feel bad later. Mode of goodness, you eat things that- Don't taste that great. But you feel good later. Yeah. Mode of ignorance, you eat shit and feel like shit later. And so that's- People like us, our karma pulls us into situations

City life. City life, yeah. Because I can do the forest thing you're talking about and all that, but it has to be temporary. For me, I can't go like, that's where I would spend all my time. I can't do that. I know. Me either. I can't do that. We're trapped. Yeah. I would love it, though. God, that'd be fucking cool. That's like a fantasy, right? It's a big fantasy. When you see the person living in isolation in the woods and chopping their firewood and all that, I'm like, yeah, that seems like a cool weekend. Yeah. But I can't do that.

- Not a life, dude. No, and you know, that's the thing with whatever you're like, that fantasy is. Mine was when I was younger, not now. It's like, I'm gonna go to India. I'm gonna find like a cave. I'm gonna renounce the entire material universe and live like- - This is a totally believable Duncan Trussell. - It was real. I really fantasized about this, but it's an idiot's fantasy because it's like, day two in a cave, what do you do?

But then you actually, don't you all, we all feel like someone is capable of that. And I think for like our circle, everyone would be like, yeah, Duncan's capable of that. Well, that's sweet. But I mean, I just know I would get so bored. I would be day five. I'm at the pharmacy trying to get ketamine. I need to bring back up to the cave. That's day five. Yeah. But yeah, I, you know, have you ever seen that video of, um,

It's so weird. There's these Indian soldiers. They're up in the mountains in the snow. They're all bundled up. Yeah. And this dude in a loincloth just comes wandering through the snow because he's one of those ascetics who live up in the caves. But he's like completely naked. Like the snow wasn't bothering him at all. And he just sort of like wanders by. Did he get like fallow girth and everything? What? Did he get the girth treatment? He had a huge... Well, that was... Yeah. It was his penis...

Was trailing in the snow. Oh my God. Melting it as he went, just leaving like just a tiny little creep. It was beautiful. And what did this man say when he got, did he say something? Was there a message from this person that lived? Or just that he's unbothered by the elements? He said to one of the guys, like he looked at his crotch, he's like, I can make it bigger. Wow. Yeah. I know, man. It's magical out there. I mean, that's the thing. We're in the big city. We miss out on moments like that. Where's your fantasy place to like...

You're done working. You don't have to work anymore. Where do you live if you can live anywhere? Full-time living, though. Not like a weekend. You know, this sounds so lame. I'm going to stay here. Really? Yeah, it's like, because, you know, if I'm done working...

And in my fantasy of done working, like I have like unlimited resources. Yeah, you do. I can go anywhere I want. So I would just like take vacations and just travel around the world and do stuff like that. But yeah, I don't really have a place anymore where I think that's where I'm going to be happy. That's where it is, yeah.

I mean, because that's never true. No place is going to make you. No place makes you happy. That's true. It's the company, right? Like the company you keep. Yeah. It's like if you're an asshole, like wherever you go, you're an asshole. It doesn't matter. It's true. I mean, that sucks though. You're just an asshole in Munich this week. There's a story. I'll probably tell it wrong.

Some guy comes up to a city. He's a traveler. He says to this person at the gates of the city, what are the people like here? And the person says, well, what were the people like where you came from? And he's like, they were fucking dicks. They stole, they lied. I couldn't trust any of them. They're horrible. That's why I'm leaving. And the guy says, bad news. The people here are like that too.

And then another person came and said, what are the people like here? Well, what were they like where you came from? Very sweet. They were very generous. They were kind. I'm sorry I had to leave them. And he's like, then you found a wonderful city because everyone here is like that too. Wow. You know what I mean? Like you ever do that? I wake up in the morning.

And like, everyone's a fucking dick. I'm mad at everyone. Mad at the world. Mad at anyone I pass. And then like, at some point you realize. Yeah. I'm the dick. Yeah. Nothing out here is malfunctioning. It's all me. Like...

That happens to me sometimes. Sure. No, I think it happens to all of us. Very less people admit it. Right. Like, cause you don't really want to admit that it could be you. Yeah. You know, anytime I hear myself going, what is it? Drive like an asshole day. I'm like, Oh fuck. I must be driving like an asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nobody wants to admit that. It's more fun to imagine everyone around you sucks. Yeah. Of course. To blame other people. Yeah. Yeah. Blaming other people is like,

That's human justification 101. It's like, it feels good. Yeah, it feels good. Fucking feels good. Everyone's a dick. Everyone's stupid. Are you ever meet somebody who's had, this is my, I think the, the kind of the more common one. You meet somebody who's like working at a, let's say a new job. And you're like, what'd you do before?

I worked at this place, it was fucking idiots. And they blah, blah, blah. And you're like, oh, that sucks. What'd you do before that? I worked for another dumb fucking place and they had a bunch of idiots. They wouldn't listen, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, oh, I have a feeling that that's going to happen at this new job. That's right. Right? Because like this person will just kind of hop from employer to employer. Right. And have the same experience. And they never put together that they're like, they've created this narrative that like, I'm smart.

Everyone I work for is stupid. Yeah. And this always goes wrong. It's like... It's sad. Yeah, it's sad. Those people are in hell. It's true. Those people are wandering through hell. You just have... You know, because the...

Weird reality is anything you're looking at is literally your mind because the phenomenon is being filtered through your nervous system, assembled by your brain. So everything around you is you, meaning that if you're surrounded by assholes, that's your mind is an asshole. Your mind's an asshole. Your mind is a pulsing...

The comedian version of what I'm telling you is, because I've heard it many times, is you'll see someone, maybe you haven't seen them in a while, and they're like, yeah, you know, fucking sucks. You know, I can't get... They don't want people for like me...

uh you know doing gigs or getting hired for these things and you're like you think that they are singling out your type yeah like it's like yeah i'm a fucking white guy or you know they'll have their story of like why things aren't going well and you're like interesting that you've like because they had to build this up for themselves yeah this story in order to justify things not happening well

It's hard to deal with the reality that I think in any art form, there's highs and lows and those lows are your fault probably. Like right now, it's just not working out. Like you kind of aren't funny enough and it's just not working right now. It'll get better probably. It could get better. But acknowledging that in yourself hurts. It's very, because it's basically a huge slash to your ego. Yeah. Like, right? And then that can happen like,

You're single. Why isn't this going well? Right. And you, that's another ego, but right. You could be like, well, I'm not taking care of myself. I haven't been working, you know, you, but you have to create a story to get through today. It's a lot easier to create an external story. Yeah, dude. Then an internal one. Drive all blames into oneself. Yeah.

That that's one of my favorite lojas. It's like a mind training, Buddhist mind training. But I always remind myself of that drive all blames into oneself because anytime I'm blaming anybody else,

Well, then you start trying to change the people around you. And that's a futile exercise for sure. Oh, God, man. And it's such so many ear beatings you'll end up giving to people who don't give a fuck about what you're saying. That's true. Oh, they don't care. And you're just eating their ear with this and that. They're all in there. What are you talking about? Yeah. Hi. No one gives a shit. No, they're great. Yeah, man, it's brutal. And, you know,

In that line, have you noticed this? There's a thing. It's like, okay, you know, like there's secret handshakes and stuff. Oh, do I? So there's this secret handshake people do now. I don't know if you've noticed this, and maybe I'm just like applying this to the world when it's only happened to me a few times where certain sort of person will come up to you. Within seconds of talking, we'll be like, aren't things horrible right now in the world? And if you don't go, yes, my God, what a terrible world.

They think you like Trump. You notice that? That is so funny. I, what I noticed, what I couldn't, I almost had like embarrassment for myself in the moment that you were setting up this question in that I think human beings also, we do this thing where you match your,

you try to match someone's take at the moment. Yeah. So when people, like whenever someone comes in, they're like, oh man, things are fucked up. I'm always like, yeah. Right. And I'm not even thinking that, but I, right. Or, and then if somebody is like super happy, you kind of try to match that about how great, oh, I'm so happy for you. Yeah. They're happy. They're like, that's great. No, you're right. It puts you in an awkward situation. It does. But the, the one that is actually, I feel like it's not,

It's definitely not like you're not doing yourself or anyone any favor is when you embrace someone's like negative take on things. Like everything sucks. Right. And you go like, yeah. And then what you do is you search for what sucks. Yeah. Even though it wasn't in your mind. Yeah. So now you're like putting out this like. Yeah. Shitty energy. Yeah. Because you just want to be like polite. It's gross. To who met you or who you're talking to. You're it's essentially like you're like you're like.

giving each other negativity hand jobs or something you're just like trying to find something bad yeah like me too and you're yeah but have you even or you try to one-up the person's whatever they say like oh yeah that's fucking bad but did you hear you want to hear some real shit Pakistan just launched missiles into fucking Iran I did that to you sorry that's all right

It's okay. No, but like, yeah. Then what it does is like, I don't know. It also makes you question when that thing happened in the moment, it makes you question. Oh, I think it's like, it's a very split second thing. You're like, I should be more concerned about some of these things happening. Right. That I'm not letting occupy my, my mind or my energy. So maybe I'm a,

or less worthy because I'm so caught up in things that don't matter. Meanwhile, there's fucking missiles being launched. Yeah, that should be what I'm occupied with. Or, but I mean, okay. So if paranoia and fear and negativity protected people from missiles, no one would have died in war. That's true. So if you're going to get blown up by a missile, like be in a good mood. Why not just be in a great mood and not even know it's coming? Yeah.

I mean, what are you going to do? Yeah. Go in a bomb shelter. Can you play that guy Zolo, the military guy that just popped? Can you find him real quick? Yeah. Yeah. This is, I got to, I just, this was like a clip I saw of this guy. It just made me think of this and his take on things. It's just, this is a, I don't know.

I guess the argument you could make is that you need people like this. Right. The guys who are, like, down for real battle. Right. Okay. Oh, Jesus. I killed about 10,000 Chinese and North Koreans with motor fire and artillery fire because there was a lot of targets, the best way to put it. And plus with...

I rifle fired hand grenades. I killed another 400. Plus, I'm the top soldier in hand-to-hand combat in America. I've killed 20 people in hand-to-hand combat. Wow.

I had a bad sense of humor, the best way to put it. I could have shot several people, but I beat them to death with a rifle. Instead, I kind of liked their rattle in their cage. Yeah.

I just got good at that stuff. And then my kid brother was killed in action in Korea, and I reenlisted immediately. To me, it was just some stranger killing my brother, not an enemy. And I made up my mind I was going to kill a lot of people, which I did. I almost knew nobody. I didn't make friends easy. The only person I was...

They're like, please, can you stop beating people to death? Just shoot them. I mean, out of this clip, I've been fascinated by it. I think it's just to hear somebody speak kind of...

casually about it. I mean, you know, those are the realities of war. I'm not trying to say that's not what happens in every war, but you also, you rarely hear somebody, I think, have that type of conversation about it, you know? They need, first of all, they need to remix it with happy music playing. Yeah. It's not fair that the dramatic music is forcing a conclusion about what he was doing. And also, it's also forcing a conclusion about how he feels about it because I don't think he feels very...

somberly about the whole thing. No, he misses it. He misses it. He wants to get back there. If, if, like, if he, if he was a young man, if there is a hell. Yeah. And he ends up in hell. Yeah. He will start beating demons to death. Happily in hell. Do you mean he'll rattle their cage? I just rattle in your cage a little bit as I beat your head. I've never heard that expression used for that. Yeah.

Rattle their cage a little bit. And it's, you know, weird sense of humor. This is a dad joke, baby. Yeah, I think... This guy's a, by the way, this is a medal of honor recipient. Like he's, you know, as highly awarded and regarded by the military as you can be. Yeah, I don't think people want to...

deal with the reality of war that there are people like that who are out there right now while we're just you know having fun on a podcast yeah there's people like that who are like yeah I have to rattle some cages today or some awful shit will happen in my country I mean I don't know man I like it's hard for me the other thing is you always you don't you picture somebody who has done or does that kind of thing

having a certain appearance to them yeah and this just looks like your friend's grandpa you know oh yeah i would not like if i went over to my friend's grandpa yeah i wouldn't even pay attention to him i wouldn't be like think about it at all he'd be like you want to hear a story yeah sure

Do you have a bad sense of humor? And you're like, uh-huh. Oh, you'll love this one. You'll like this one. You'll love this one. I fed a man his own heart. I could have shot him, but I like to kind of tussle with him a little bit, you know? His radio operator's just puking. No, stop it! He's like, the thing is, back then I was a bit of a rascal. You're like, yeah, that

That is very rascally. There's a way you could pull out a man's eyeball and show himself like a mirror. I used to do that while I was yanking their teeth out. You guys want a hot cocoa? And you're like, yeah, this sounds good. Thank you, sir. Your grandpa's wild, dude. Yeah. Have a banana. I peeled a man's dick once like a banana. Just rattled his cage. Yeah.

That's fucking crazy, right? Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Well, that's cool though, man. That's a real guy, man. What are we going to do? You're going to try to make everyone live the way you live? No. Some people, they need that. By the way, thank God. Thank God this man had a path he could channel what was in him. Yes. Dude, like if...

If there wasn't a war at the time, if there isn't somewhere to enlist and an enemy to take this out on, this guy doesn't just go work at Ford Motor. No. He's not just changing tires. No. He's doing some other shit to get it out. Yeah, man. That guy's not a greeter at Walmart. No fucking way. But this is actually one of the... Because...

sociopaths are predictable. Like apparently there's some percentage of humans that show up as sociopaths. There's all this like evolutionary psychology. Why? Why do they exist in one of the, I guess...

One reason could be that in the past, maybe now, we needed people like that. You needed someone who didn't care about killing things. Sure. Who didn't have human compassion the way normal people do to go out and hunt and go out and fight. These are people whose heart rates aren't elevated by things that make us all have adrenaline spikes. Yeah.

And they end up being really good at certain things. Like you could have them be a fighter jet pilot. You can have them be a race car driver. You can have them, you know, sometimes they are,

playing high level sports. Sometimes they're in the corporate world. Sometimes they're in the military. Sometimes they're surgeons. Surgeons absolutely have a disproportionate number. Yeah. They're not affected by the loss of life in front of them. Yeah. And then sometimes they're the fucking Green River Killer, you know? That's right. That's right. Sometimes they're out there just strangling, basic bitch killing. And then they're like,

I want to have a sandwich. Dude, I guess it's like, you know, there's people, you know, there has to be, there's people out there who aren't comedians. Yeah.

Who are probably a hundred times funnier than any comedian working right now. But they're working some weird job. It hasn't occurred to them that it could work out for them. Sure. So I guess that guy is like a professional serial killer. Yeah. And there's all these hobbyist serial killers out there who haven't figured out a way to make money doing what they love. Sure. Which is...

Do you think a serial killer watches that clip and they're like, Jesus Christ, this guy's good. Yeah. It feels better. Yeah. He watched, like maybe there's like something where like, oh, they think something's a little off, you know, because of the way they've been beating strangers to death. And then they see that and they're like, oh, okay, I'm not alone in this world. And look at Gramps. He's all right. Dude, he probably gets letters from serial killers who are like, thank you. I was going to kill myself.

But you made me realize that it's okay to rattle cages. Whoa, that is wild though, man. It's a good descriptor. Yeah, just rattling some cages. I mean, you know, I think when you try to figure out what it's like to be a sociopath,

It is the way you play Grand Theft Auto. Like if you ever just, you're bored, you're playing, I don't know if you've even played that before. I haven't played it in years, but yeah, I remember. You play any game like that and you just get bored. And you're like, you know, I'm just going to start running over people and see if I can get away from the cops. And then you turn the video game off. You never think about it again. Right. It's that, I think they're that way, but with people, people, they're just like, ah, bored. And you have to like tell them like, do you remember when you ran that person over and they're like, yeah.

Yes, Spokane. You're right. You're right. I was visiting my cousin Julie up there. Jesus Christ. How'd that person make it? And they're like, no, they're dead. Makes sense. Yeah, I hit him real hard. Yeah. That's how they... If you see like, you know...

There's a YouTube video comparing people fake crazy and real crazy, like in an interrogation. Sure. And the fake crazy people are always like, oh, there's voices. They're like the real crazy person. It was just like what you're saying. They're interrogating this dude. And they're like, so what'd you do? And he's like, yeah, I just took these kids and got them in my car, tied them up and just drove them out and beat them to death and just calm, not sad about it. Why? I just wanted to.

That's a sociopath and that person might like can, can like, that's legally insane because they don't know consequence. They don't have any sense that this is wrong at all. Yeah. It's really a, yeah, they got, I remember I saw an interview with this was about, they're trying to find this serial killer, I think in San Francisco. And it was this guy who had a stutter, like a notable stutter. And when they, you know, they were collecting all the evidence and,

And they finally interrogated him. They were like, why did you, did you kill so-and-so? And he was like, yeah. And they go, why? He's like, so I could have sex with her. And they were like, okay. And then did you, did you kill this other girl? And he's like, yeah. And they go, why? And he goes, so I could have sex with her. And so like they kept asking and it was always the same. And then they said he would, he would lose his stutter just in like some of the moments where he would describe what he was doing.

It just like released it for him. And then you'd go back to his stutter. Holy shit. That's fucking crazy. So like, that's the way to cure stuttering. The King speech part two. Is that him? There you go. I had a pretty good memory. David Carpenter. Yeah. You always find neglect and abuse. Severe. So sad.

Oh my God. It's always that. It's always a shit parent behind the... Yeah. Usually for the really, really violent monsters...

You never find any case where they don't have neglect or abuse. I think, isn't there some argument that Dahmer had pretty good parents or that it was like a kind of a normal? I don't think he was abused. Yeah. But I think it's pretty well documented that he was pretty neglected. Like neglected. Not so much where you would think that this is what would come of it. Right. Yeah. But he was a bit of a rascal himself. Yeah.

Dahmer was a rascal. He had a weird sense of humor. He did. He was kind of... Yeah. Like he probably cracked that guy up with some of the stuff he did. Yeah. He was a knucklehead. He was a knucklehead. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of funny tricks. Yeah. Some say that he was even a goofball. Oh, yeah, for sure. He was a wild goofball. You never... I remember I did a podcast with... It's still one of my favorite podcast moments ever with the guy that tracked...

And was part of the team that got Escobar, you know, in Columbia. Yes. You know, I was like, yeah, Escobar, he's a real goofball. He goes, goofball? And I go, I tried to keep it together. I was like, yeah. He goes, Pablo Escobar? And I go, yeah. He goes, you think he was a goofball? I go, wasn't he? He's like, yeah, I don't know if I would exactly use that term to describe it.

a narco terrorist responsible for tens of thousands of murders. I was like, okay, goofball. I think we wrapped up. Oh my God. That's hilarious. Yeah. That's fucking so fun. God, that's great. Yeah. That's the other, you know, that's the thing, man. That's, it goes back to what we were talking about before. People like that want you to zoom into their reality, to live in their reality. And the moment you're outside of it, they get pissed and offended. It's like,

He was a fucking goofball. He was kind of goofy, yeah. I mean, I'm sure he was fun. I mean, I've seen the interviews with his son. He was like, he's a great dad. I love him as a dad. He wasn't the best citizen, but he was a good dad. Right. And he liked to have a good time. Yeah. I mean, he had a fucking zoo at the house. If you have a zoo at your house, you're fun. And he's also, I guess you would have to say...

He's courageous. Yeah. I mean... Oh, he had big ol' balls. Yeah. Like, that... Like...

you know, we're all hanging out here and default reality. Yeah. We follow laws. We do what we're supposed to. We pay taxes. But just outside, there's people like him who are like, I don't want to live like that. I'm not following your rules. That is so weird. When you have the government, like the whole entire, imagine the government of an entire country is out to get you and your response is to send tanks into like the Supreme Court.

I mean, that's fucking brazen. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, if you're not like, all right, you got me. That never occurs to him. If you, we all die and realize like, we're just at the mall in the future. And this is some video arcade. We're all fucking kids. And we decided to play human reality simulator. Then,

when we're all back in the video arcade, whoever was doing Pablo Escobar, we're going to be like, that was fucking incredible. That was wild, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Like that, you were like, I was, I was just some fucking comedian. I had a podcast. You were driving tanks into the Supreme court. Fucking setting off bombs and shit. High score. That's a high score. Oh yeah. Like that's the way you see the score. And you're like, how does anyone get that score?

That's it. Pablo Escobar. Pablo Escobar. All right, listen, we got to wrap up, but you can see Duncan Trussell. He'll be at Helium in St. Louis, February 22nd to 24th. He'll be at Hyena's in Dallas, April 12th and 13th.

It's always so much fun to see you. Great to see you, man. I love hanging out with you. I love hanging out with you. We should get together again and bring the kiddos. Yes, for sure. Let's do it. Thanks. Get your tickets at dunkintrussell.com. Thank you, guys. We'll see you next time. Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert. One goes to the top, the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine. There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep it clean. Here's what we call...

Two bears, one cave.