98: Brain Chemistry Altering?..
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Stay farm and DJ Dramos from Life as a Gringo. No making smarter financial moves today secures a financial freedom for a successful tomorrow. Tackle these situations in stride and of course be annoyed when an unplanned expense comes up, but not let it be something that slows me down. Right. As I did with repairing my credit, you know, hiring somebody to do credit repair for me. That was a gift that I gave myself that allowed me to then, you know, get my first apartment.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm, proud sponsor of My Cultura Podcast Network. Hi, and welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Alejandra. Woo! This is our first episode of 2023. I know. That's crazy. I keep forgetting it's 2023.

Yeah, I put 2022 on everything, but I do that like until halfway through the year and then it finally clicks in my little goldfish brain. But it just feels weird. I feel like the past couple years have just kind of like felt like the Truman Show. Like just kind of like, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. I don't know.

It feels like it's just, it's all a blur. Well, especially with COVID. I feel like everyone kind of feels like COVID took a couple years from them. Yeah. Which is just like... I'm starting to feel that way. I didn't feel that way until recently. It's weird. I kind of am in the same boat. I was like, oh, everything's good, amazing. And then you're like, wait, I'm going to be 29 in March? What? Where did my 20s go? I feel like I'm still 25. Same. I feel like I got frozen at 25.

Which when was COVID wasn't until 20. I think I turned 26. Right when you turned 26, I was still 25. Yeah. So it like it feels like someone froze me and I did not. I'm still de-thawing. Un-thawing? Un-thawing? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Thawing.

thawing is the act of getting unfrozen or is it i need to unthaw something i need to thaw something oh i'm confused wow um we'll leave it to the people they'll let us know can you thaw that out can you thaw yeah you're right so i wouldn't unthaw i need to unthaw or is it wow i want to be surprised we'll let them tell us i'm not even gonna google it um

I have a present for you. You do? Yeah. So this was given to us by a lovely couple that came to our live show. And so it's so you can always remember that it's Powerpuff Girls, not Powderpuff Girls. So that was a present from someone. You're kidding me. This cute little couple. They sat like front and left at our show. The Los Angeles show? Yeah. And I like went downstairs to grab my purse and I came back up and everyone was gone. I was like, fuck.

So if you ever come to a live show, like hang out after so we can we come out. We just have to go downstairs and get our stuff usually. And then we come say hi. No, no. To add to that. She's right. Thank you. Whoever gifted this. It's so freaking cute. I don't know why this like means so much.

um it's so cute after the show now it's happened two times where i have to pee so we all do bad oh my god so like immediately after the show i feel so bad because we missed out on so many people because i like book it like all of us book it yeah off stage it sucks because the last thing we want to do is like leave we want to just go out into the audience and say hi and like say hi to like fans and friends and family and then

Yeah. We come back and it's like the venue has shooed people away or like. I know. Yeah. Or people left because they thought we were gone and it's just kind of sad. Yeah. So if you come to a show, which we're going to have a couple throughout this next year, New York is for sure on our list. Yes. We'll see where else we travel. But if you come to a show, say hi to us after. We want to meet you guys. Just wait for us. Yeah.

Yeah, just wait. We just have to pee. Just take a bathroom break. And then I just want to give a shout out to our friend Richa who sent us this really good water. I have like the hardest time finding stuff to drink. I don't like the taste of water. Usually Fiji water is like the exception. I'm boozy.

I'm bougie. I don't know. But Richa works for this company. She's like their new little marketing gal. And so she sent us this water. It's called Lemon Perfect. And you can find it at most stores. But it's unreal. I already drank one of them. I already crushed the dragon fruit and mango flavor. Unreal. I'm trying the blueberry acai. After a night out, this is great. After a hot day or workout, this is great. Or if you're just trying to detox like us, cheers. Cheers. Oh, yeah. I'm...

I'm giving my kidneys and liver a nice break. If you have any good mocktail recipes, send them my way. I'm always looking for good beverages that like just like are good sippers. So yeah, send them my way. But let's get into this. Okay. So today's theme is

We gave a little sneak peek to our friends over on Patreon already. But it is stories that are going to alter our brain chemistry or just like life altering stories. I think I kind of like had this folder going and I would read these stories and I'm like, oh,

Like, this is one of those moments that just, like, really just, like, takes it out of you. And you're just like, this is going to change their DNA. Really. This is going to change their life. Like, the course of their life will change. Like, an inflection point. Yeah. Yeah.

Interesting. I think that's so, I think about that a lot with myself. I feel like everyone can think of a time in their lives where one thing had been slightly different, whether it was, you know, what time they showed up or which place they chose to be at or if they decided to go or not go somewhere. And you look back and you're like, if I had done one little thing differently, it would not have panned out the way that it did. Yeah.

And I kind of live for those types of moments because I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason. And I know that some people don't like that phrase because sometimes terrible things happen in the world and you can't rationalize that. But I do think that you have to put a little bit of faith into the universe and

that there's a long play there. Yeah. And so I'm curious to see. I know that's really been coming up in my head too and like karma is a big thing. So I have a whole other folder going and if you see any stories send them my way but it's instant karma. So people that just like did something shitty and then like immediately got it back in return. Yeah. That's another theme I'm working on. I've been a victim of instant karma. Oh.

For sure. Well, I'll have you on. You can elaborate soon. I will. Okay, let's dive in. ♪

Okay, so this first one is going to be heavy. A lot of these are going to be heavy today. Damn it. But I feel like it's okay. We'll get through it together. Will we? We got this. Okay. So I already kind of teased the title for this one with our Patreon fam during group therapy. And when I read it to you the first time, you were like gasping. You're like...

It's from True Off My Chest, and it's titled, I Set My Daughter Up to be Bullied in School. I have an autistic 14-year-old who has terrible hygiene. I have to fight with her to get her to shower, brush her teeth, and clean up after herself during her period. It is disgusting. Blood everywhere and the constant washing of underwear. She sees no problem with her inability to clean herself up.

I told her that people are going to bully her in school if she smells bad and that it is hard to recover from that socially. And she ignored me. Well, she had her period last week. I picked her clothes and allowed her to wear white pants. I wanted to see if she would clean up after herself so that the pants would be clean when she came back home. Before I even dropped her off, the pants were red.

I stayed silent. I dropped her off like normal. She needed to learn how these types of situations will impact her social life if she continues to live like a slob. She came home in tears. The kids were ruthless. She was mocked for her strong smell and the red on her pants. It hurt me to see her like this, but I was not seeing the changes that had to be made. For the rest of the week, she took good care of herself.

There were no stains. She showered herself and would spray perfume to maintain a flowery scent. My husband and I fought about this, though. He called me some very hurtful words because of my choice. He said I handled it poorly and that she will be paying for this for the rest of the school year. I see it as a life lesson, and it actually yields the results unlike my husband's soft approach. Am I the asshole? I don't, I want to hear your thoughts.

I have a lot of things going through my mind. I'm not... Obviously, autism manifests itself so differently in every child with it. And I think there's clearly something going on. She already has an autism diagnosis. And so for me, coming from an OT perspective, I'm like, okay, well...

why isn't she good with hygiene? Is it the routine that's difficult? Is it sensory issues that's making it difficult? There's more to this than just, oh, my daughter doesn't want to be clean. And yeah, a lot of kids go through that. Young boys forget to put deodorant on and a girl might forget a pad or a tampon one day when they go to school.

Stuff happens. But to purposefully set your kid up for such ridicule and bullying and with social media these days, like very easily could have ended up on a TikTok with people making fun of her and showing her walking down the hall with red blood all over her white pants. And so I just think it's like it's it's a neglectful form of parenting. I really think it definitely the asshole.

wholeheartedly in this one. Yeah, I agree with that. I think that in the beginning, you know, I'm not super educated on like everything that comes with autism diagnosis. I do feel like I have seen like examples in my own life of people that I know have some type of, and I know this isn't autism, by the way, I'm not conflating the two, but some type of mental health

And then there's this correlation with, you know, lack of hygiene. Not always, of course, but I just know some people in my life. Absolutely. Like depression. Yeah. You don't want to fucking shower when you're depressed. You don't want to brush your teeth. You can't brush your teeth. Like life is. Yeah. I've seen a couple of people close to me where they're going through, whether it be depression or anxiety, and they just can't even brush their teeth.

brush their teeth genuinely and so I have I don't know if there's something deeper here something type mental health related I don't know but regardless of what it is I mean she's only 14 so young I know girls our age who are still sometimes slacking on their hygiene like it sounds gross but like you said things happen um I go days where I forget to put deodorant on and like I'm a pretty clean functional person like day to day um

And it's not to say that she's dysfunctional, but she's still so young. And I think at least I know 14 year olds these days are like winging their eyeliner and whatnot. But I don't think I agree with you. I think it was very harsh of her own mom to do that at this young age. Yeah. I think if she had been like maybe a little older, like closer to 18, she would have been like,

I still don't think I'd agree with it, but it's like, okay, you're old enough to where you need to kind of like figure it out. There's only so much you can do as a parent. Like clip the wings. Like you got to kind of. I think that would be, I would wholeheartedly at like 18 without an autism diagnosis. I'd be like, yeah, your daughter's 18 and still doesn't want to practice good hygiene. Like, okay, she's getting to that point where she's an adult. But then to have like this autism diagnosis, it's like,

that could mean so many things and like autism and girls manifest a little differently than boys so like it manifests differently in everyone but especially with the two sexes it can be very different and so we don't know like how high functioning she is or if she's like like lower level and so it's like the mom said like i picked out her i picked out her outfit but allowed her to wear white pants and it's like you really wanted to fuck her up yeah like this wasn't just like

I'm going to put her in like normal jeans and hey, a little red, whatever. But like, no, you put her in white pants. Yeah, well, she did. It doesn't sound like she put her in white pants. She allowed her to wear white pants without advising her. Like, because I'm going to be really honest with you. I saw something somewhere. I know it sounds really like

not legitimate with that. I saw something somewhere sometime that... So you made it up. No, I think you could actually fact check me on this. I saw something that said, and it resonated with me because I could never understand this about myself, that when women are like menstruating, they're naturally attracted to like white, the color white. And it has something, I don't remember why, you could probably Google it. I don't know. Maybe it was, I don't know.

And I always found that every time it was that time of the month for me, for some reason, I'd have these white pants that I would sit in my closet untouched all year. And then when it was that time of the month, I was like, you know what? I feel like you kind of still do that. I do. I didn't grow out of it. No, this isn't past tense. I'm like, I feel like we always go out and you're like, yeah, my white leggings. Literally. Yeah.

You knowingly put those white pants on knowing that you had your period. A hundred percent. Oh my gosh. It's a real thing. So I don't know if that, whatever, like whether or not this person felt that way. Yeah. What I'm saying is sometimes you forget that it is that time of the month. You don't put two and two together. Like, hey, I'm like quite literally bleeding. White probably isn't the best choice of pants. You just don't, you're not thinking in that way. Yeah. I can vouch for that.

And I'm not 14. I'm like a grown-ass woman who's been doing this for like a decade. It doesn't get any easier, guys. No. Shit still happens. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I bleed through a lot of stuff. I just now have designated like period underwear because they're so fucked up and ruined that I'm just like...

here's my little bin of period underwear. It's fine. You don't want to throw them away because it's like to buy new ones. Or you'll just ruin your period underwear stash will just grow. Oh, yeah. You'll just start to like the other ones. They're all period underwear now. Right. So you have to keep them. Yeah. Anyway. Sorry. I digress. Yeah. I guess that the white thing, it feels like the mom kind of did everything

set her up for failure. I feel like my mom, even though my mom like really wanted me to learn lessons in a hard way. She was just kind of like a, you know, hard ass on me sometimes. Even my mom would be like, I do not think you should wear white pants. Well, and it's not just the white pants, but it doesn't sound like

And maybe OP like didn't include this context, but it doesn't sound like there was any other additional measures. Like was a pad not inserted? Like a panty liner? Like was it just literally free balling? Free bleeding? Free balling? Yeah. Like you're just like, I don't know. Like you're just out there, out and about without any guards. Unrestricted. Yeah. Like free bleeding. Free flowing. Yeah. And so it's like, not only did you put her in white pants, but...

But you also like if you're picking her clothes and kind of helping her get ready, did you not put a panty liner in the underwear? Like, it just seems like there's such a disconnect and like there's no talk about like past education around periods. It's it was kind of like the comment of like, I've told her she like if she smells bad, that is hard to recover from that socially. And she ignored me. But it's like smelling bad and like.

And perioding through white pants is like two very different like things in a social hierarchy. Like smelling bad. We all smell bad from time to time. Yeah. You can get over the smelly thing, but like white pants like that. I'm not going to lie to you. That is probably a lot of girls' worst nightmare. Absolutely. At that age.

showing through your pants I I remember in school I like bled through one day and I had to like literally have a sweatshirt tied around my waist the rest of the day and I don't know where it was if this was like from a tv show or another reddit story I feel like it's from a tv show or something but it was like this character that got their period and

all over their chair and then like got made fun of from everyone in their class. It's like, oh, that's a vulnerable age. Yeah. And like periods are nothing to be like shameful about at all. Like even myself, I'm like checking myself right now. I'm like, so what if you fucking bleed through some pants? Like, fuck it. But at that age, it's kids are fucking mean. Yeah. 14 year old girls are mean.

are mean. Yeah. No, at 14. 28-year-old girls still kind of mean. Still kind of mean. Sometimes. But I think I'd recover from that at this age. Now, I'd be like, oh, you want some? I'd rub it on them. Stop. I'd fuck them up. Ew. I'm sorry, not ew. Female anatomy. We're trying to embrace the period. Yeah, is not anything to be grossed out by. It's just painful and sucks. I just think we need to address the reality that at that age, things that are later normalized in life are still very like

Taboo and just not openly talked about and not like it's rare that 14 year olds would have that experience and not make it a big deal Yeah, exactly The top comment on this is you're the asshole and they like quote op's thing before I even dropped her off The pants were red. I stayed silent. No, you allowed her to be humiliated by her peers at school Actually, hang on dot dot dot

And they quote Opie again. I picked her clothing and allowed her to wear white pants. So you actually picked her clothing? You did not simply fail to point out the risk from her clothing color choice? You actively chose white pants? You caused her to be humiliated? And the next person down goes, Opie is abusive. Set her child up to be mocked. What an awful thing to do. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. No, that's... I agree with those comments, to be honest. It does seem very, very malicious. And it doesn't seem like you're teaching a lesson. Like...

She might learn the lesson, but it seems like it will be through being traumatized and not just well-guided. And if that's the goal, then, okay, you're achieving it, but it seems kind of toxic. There is an update from OP, and I can read the first line, and it says, So it sounds like this worked. It sounds like Reddit really did, like, check her. Check her.

So I'm trying to find this update. Please be here. I'm checking all the Wayback Machine captures.

Found it. Hey, hey. Okay. So from true off my chest update, I failed as a parent with my autistic daughter. She did not want to come to school today. I let her skip and we went out to get some pancakes for breakfast at a place she likes. I apologize to my husband and he apologized to me too. We are going to work together to parent her in a way that we both agree with in a way that will allow her to live a healthy life.

I had good intentions, but what I did to my daughter was truly disgusting. I'll give her a few weeks and then maybe move her to a different school within the district for a fresh start. She says she's not angry at me, but I know that is not true. I deserve it. I'm lucky that she is not refusing to speak to me. I will speak to the family doctor and her therapist about how to get her to work with the discomfort regarding tampons and pads. Okay, so that wasn't included in the original statement.

And that is really like... Yeah. Key information, bitch. I'm truly sorry for the ableism that I displayed here. I was truly inappropriate to handle the situation like this and then to share it online where people could read it. I'm sorry my post became a safe space for people to share propaganda about autistic children. I am disgusted and will do better for my family. Wow. Wow. It's pretty rare that you see that type of accountability. Yeah.

I'm telling you, life-altering moment here for, like, everyone involved. Yeah, I think as a parent, this is going to make her so much more solid in terms of moving forward on how to deal with these types of things that are constantly changing. You know, you can't, like...

prepare for what your teenage daughter who is also autistic is going to go through. But like, I feel like this was such a parenting moment where she could reflect and be like, I kind of, I failed and I need to do better. And I also need to work. Yeah. And a better way to co-parent with my husband. I've never, I don't know. Like I literally, I don't know.

I don't know why I'm getting the chills over this. But I've never... I don't think on any Reddit post, I've never seen such like rapid character development. Yes. And I hope it's real. I hope it's genuine. It seems like it. Like recognizing that you played into ableism and like propaganda against autistic children. For sure. Like to recognize that. Good, good. I hope this...

Yeah, she recognized she could do better as a mother, as an advocate for her autistic daughter, the autistic community, and as a wife and a co-parent. Well, and so OP did post this in two places. I searched the username on the Wayback Machine website.

And it looks like they posted an am I the asshole and true off my chest. And so when you look at the way back machine and the one that's posted on true off my chest, a lot of people do point to OT as well. So I hope that like she takes that into consideration. And like there's definitely something going on where it's like OT. We I mean, occupational therapy, we deal with all areas of life, all areas of occupations, your activities, your day to day things you need to do to

function. And so like personal hygiene is one of our ADLs. It's something we thousand percent cover. And this is like

an OT problem. If she can't handle it, she can assist the help of an OT to be like, okay, let's determine what the occupational dysfunction actually like where it really lies. Is it a sensory issue? Is it just a lack of education? Is it, does she not have the physical abilities, the cognitive ability to do this? So I hope that OT will also get involved. Am I the asshole? Absolutely. That post, she got absolutely roasted. Clearly. The true off my chest one, it,

doesn't really like I see on the way back machine that there's some awards that were given to her. So I'm confused by that. Yeah. But one of the top comments that I see is see if her pediatrician can write a prescription for occupational therapy. This is one of the many things I worked on with this population as a pediatric OT. Amazing. See, like, yeah, the power of Reddit to like the right people can find these posts. Yeah. I love when you see that.

Because Reddit's so much more than like an entertainment platform, you know? I guess I shouldn't even call it that. That's kind of mischaracterizing it. But I think oftentimes people do look at it as a source of like ludicrous stories and like, you know, where a source of kind of...

news and media and entertainment, honestly. You know, like you get on and there's memes and stuff like that. But there's oftentimes where you see how useful it can be. There's so many amazing communities. The next comment I see under that one is, yep, I'm an OT too. We look into sensory needs and help families adapt and modify activities in order to increase independence.

It's like all OT is. It's like, let's just increase independence, maximize occupational performance, optimize function. Menstruation is an absolute nightmare for a lot of autistic folks, myself included. Oh, wow. So like, this is just amazing. The next one is my autistic daughter did this. It was a godsend. She learned so much. So this makes me...

This makes me have a lot of hope and like feel really proud that Reddit came together and kind of rocked her into a new world. Yeah. Sad, extremely sad, especially with the fact that now like little girl has to go to a different school. Yeah. Like, oh, could have been avoided. That does suck. It's kind of a...

I don't want to say drastic, but it's like this big change based on something like you said that could have been avoided. It'll work out. It shall. It definitely shall. Okay. Moving along. Moving on.

Gillette razors, Metamucil, Crest toothpaste, secret body spray, and a Swiffer power mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Okay, this next one is from Relationship Advice. I, 20 female, walked in on my boyfriend, 22 male, cheated on me with his longtime friend. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

High school?

Yeah. Sorry. OP is only 20. Boyfriend's 22. Yeah, you're right. I agreed so that we could be together while we attended college. Over the years, we made amazing friends here, and he was just as kind to me as when we first started dating. Cute, awkward text messages, surprise gifts, and flowers at least once every two weeks. We had a date night every Thursday after work as well.

We are both from well-off families, so we never struggled financially. He also told me he loved me at least once a day. Well, last week, I got out of work early. I was in a good mood because Kay had sent flowers to my workplace and ordered me Chinese food for lunch, because I had mentioned that I had a taste for it the night before. On my way home from work, I picked up some of his favorite donuts and went home. When I walked in the door, I could immediately hear the moaning.

Pretty damn close now. Okay.

I've been here for the last week, trying to rationalize everything. He's been calling me and texting me, telling me he loves me and that he doesn't know why he did this. He's been asking me to come back. Where did I go wrong? Was I not satisfying him enough? I just don't understand why he would do this to me. I have no idea what to do moving forward. Oh, lots to unpack.

Lots to unpack. And I will say that that is in fact a life altering event. Did you walk in on someone? I did not. I had the great fortune of never having to walk in on someone. I was going to say, it's one thing to like,

be told your partner's cheating on you like the hey girl message that usually I just had that conversation with someone not like that no no no I wasn't sending or receiving a girl I'm single um about the hey girl yeah someone I know his friend got a hey girl and I was like oh the hey girl it sucks but like to walk in with your own eyes no I'd be fucked up for life no I mean I can stand in the

From the standpoint of somebody who has been cheated on and found out about it, that in and of itself is a life altering event. I was like, I don't know, I was probably 20, 20, 21, 22 when it happened to me. So around her age and like here I am and it still impacts the way that I view relationships. I view people. It's a hard recovery after that because I

It's so hard to grasp how the person who is supposed to love you so much and be so close to you and do all of these things like order flowers and your favorite food and tell you he loves you all the time and shower you in all the attention, but then can still do this horrible thing that really can psychologically just completely turn your world and sense of reality and sense of self on its head because you are essentially conditioned to

which what what exactly what she's doing now you're starting to question where did i go wrong what did i do or not do when in fact those are all of the wrong questions to be asking you're not that's just not what you should be thinking about it's this person her boyfriend k has his own demons he's dealing with his own thing he's a 22 year old man sorry not to be ageist but you're still developing so much at that age and you're still so young and immature especially as a guy and

And he probably is so confused about so many things. Maybe he's really unhappy in life. Who knows? But it is not, oh, I didn't do enough or I wasn't enough. And that's the wrong frame of thinking because then you'll walk away from that relationship feeling so inferior and your sense of self and respect will go down and you'll somehow gaslight yourself into thinking that you deserve that or like you had that coming or you did something to enable that.

And that's not the case at all. I feel so bad for her because I know she's got a long road ahead of her of like self-hate, self-love, self-respect, low respect, accepting less from people because you've been cheated on so anything can be better than that. And like,

Eventually you figure it out. And eventually I'm so glad that that happened to me because I learned so much about myself and relationships and the way that I value relationships. So I'm as much as it was, it was, it was super hurtful, but I genuinely think it made me such a stronger and better and wiser person. Yeah. Especially now that I'm single again and dating, like I, it totally armed me in a way that I would not have been.

And I feel that that... I feel and I hope that that will be the case for this OP. Yeah. We do have some updates. I know. I will just say, though, you make, like, everything you just said is just...

it was flawless. And I do think it's really hard to, especially when someone like dotes on you so much and like is so thoughtful and gives you all these gifts. And it's like you going forward, you're always going to be in the back of your head. Like, Oh my God, is something going on? Because he got me flowers now. You're always going to like associate that. Or at least I would with like, what's going on? Like, is he guilty? Because I hear this now and it's like, Oh, he was probably doing all this. Cause he was guilty. Cause he was cheating. But like,

Who wants to think that? No, but you're absolutely right. Who wants to be so pessimistic about these nice gestures? No, you're right. It's like association, right? Exactly. You're exactly right. I had an ex that got me flowers the day after he cheated on me. Like...

One of my exes cheated on me on Valentine's Day. Same guy. But just so we're clear, I'm not getting dogged left and right here. But you're right. And then I remember when my most recent ex would get me flowers, I'd be like, what'd you do? What's wrong? What'd you do? What happened last night? And it's so messed up. It steals the joy from the moment. It's so unfair and it sucks. And you're correct. And there's actually a trend on TikTok. It sucks. But they're like...

Things that my boyfriend did while actively cheating on me. And some of them are like, it was like drove 48 hours just to give me a hug and tell me he loves me. And I'm like, someone like bought me a $30,000 watch and it's like actively was cheating on her.

It's so wild. So I don't even get... I don't... I'm sorry. Why do people work this hard to just cheat? I don't know. Like, just be single and fuck people. Morgan, I've asked myself... I've reckoned with that question for years. Seriously, it's okay. It is... For anyone out there that just wants to have sex and, like, experience a lot of people and date and do whatever, that's okay. Like, you realize that, right? Like, if you're not ready for a relationship, you don't have to be in one. Yeah. And, you know, sometimes I'm not at all...

cutting the cheaters a break trust me but sometimes I think that they're just so broken as people and they're trying their best to be happy and sometimes their best is just still really fucking shitty yeah and they think they're doing their best they think they're doing you a favor by giving you love 90% of the times but then cheating on you 10% of the time

that's like their best and they're just trying to figure it out too. Like at the end of the day, everyone's just trying to figure it out. Yeah. And it's really unfortunate because it's at the expense of another person and their love and their feelings. Yeah. Oof, that's a tough one. I feel for her on a very deep level. I know. So update, um,

First, I'd like to thank you for all of your supportive comments and DMs. They really helped. For those wondering what excuse Kay gave me, he told me that it just happened. He said this really was the first time and it wasn't planned at all. That I should know this isn't the real him. He explained that she came over and that one thing just led to another and it was a mistake he'd do anything to fix. He sent me pictures of an engagement ring as well.

Ellie messaged me as well, saying how she never meant to hurt me and that it wasn't supposed to be this way. Kay is still bombarding me with messages apologizing and asking for forgiveness. After reading through all of your comments, though, I decided to take your advice. This morning, I called my friend Ian and explained the situation to him. I asked him if he'd be willing to come with me and help me to grab my things while Kay was at work tomorrow morning. I explained the situation to my friends and family, and they all agree that leaving is the best option.

I will be taking all of my things and flying back home. My parents have sent me the money for a ticket, and I'll be moving back in with them for the time being. I don't plan on telling Kay anything. He will just come home to a partially empty apartment. Thank you everyone for all your wonderful support. Any future updates will be made on my page.

We got more. We got them. I didn't realize how many updates there were for this one. I haven't read any of them. Really? Yeah. Also, I hate when people use like the carrot stick method after they do something wrong. What's a carrot stick method? So there's this old like saying like, it's like, oh, you dangled a carrot on a stick in front of me. And I think it started from like

a show or something where there was this horse in a cart and they had a carrot on a stick out in front of the horse. So he was like trying to like walk forward to get the carrot, but he never could because it was attached to him. It's giving Looney Tunes. Yeah. Oh, maybe it was Looney Tunes. And so it's kind of like that where it's like, oh, now that you fucked up, you're going to dangle the engagement ring carrot in front of my face. Oh, okay. Yeah, I get that. Also, how do people just like accidentally one day have sex? Okay, I want to know how Emily even got there.

Like, those are the questions you need to ask. Like, this is so not like me. It just happened. Oh, Emily just slipped and fell into your apartment and then stumbled and tripped into the bedroom and then did a backflip on your... Please. Like, how did she even get there? No, I'm sorry. I'm not...

Not buying it. No. Update three. As planned, my friend Ian and I went back to the apartment in the morning when I knew Kay wouldn't be there to pack my things. It took about three hours in total to pack all of my things with Ian's help. We packed my things together into our cars, then went to have them shipped back to my parents' house. To be honest, I'm still completely heartbroken. All of you called me strong, and I thank you, but I don't feel strong at all. I feel like I just lost half of my heart. Mm-hmm.

This girl is strong. So strong. She's strong.

takes a lot to just up and leave and cut because if this is the only time this has happened or at least that she's caught it a lot of women fall into the trap of like it was a one-off it won't happen again and they want to hear it out the fact that she just cut it and removed herself from the situation and yeah like cut off communication that she's strong this is gonna get worse oh my gosh

So there's a lot of updates kind of scattered in between all these different accounts. Looks like she posted on like true off my chest and her account for updates. It's a little hard to follow, but it's a little duplicated on this update. So I'm not going to repeat everything.

No. No.

Ellie also decided this was the best time to admit that she was pregnant and that Kay might be the father. Kay said that even if he was the father, he would only be there for the baby, that his heart would only belong to me. I was furious and heartbroken all over again. This also made it very apparent it was indeed not the first time.

Because Kay went leave, my younger brother, 18 male, also came out and started calling Kay and Ellie all sorts of things, and it led to a physical altercation. My little brother punched him in the face, and thankfully Kay took that as a sign to leave. This is all such a huge mess. I don't want to see Kay or Ellie anymore. I don't want to hear their excuses. My heart feels like it's been ripped apart. They can have each other for all I care. If I post more updates, they will likely be on my page for anyone interested. What? You...

The literal fuck. Why the hell would you think it's a good idea to bring the other woman who is potentially carrying your child to beg for forgiveness? I've never met a more dense person. Like I knew men had the audacity, but that one really... That one really like... That would just shock me. That is... That's a new level of...

I don't even know. He wasn't even done. So there's update again. Like so many updates, you guys. I'm shocked I'm still reading them. I should have posted links. Sorry, I did this to us all. I was like, she's so strong. And it's like plot twist, plot twist. Like the strongest though to like not give in all this. Update again. I didn't drop out of college. Thankfully, prior to this whole incident, I was already taking online courses. I do plan to move back.

but in my own apartment later on. Now, as for what happened next between Kay and I, he came back twice to try and apologize and ask me to reconsider. He reminded me about how I said I had never felt this way for someone before and that ending it would be a mistake. Mm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

and saying he would talk her into getting an abortion if it meant that I would go back with him. I hate them both, but to be honest, hearing that made me feel disgusted. I told him that we were done and he needed to leave. The second time, my dad threatened him if he didn't leave the property. From what I hear now, he went back home.

What does he not get, though? Well, I mean, he gets it. It's giving, I don't like to diagnose, but it's giving narcissist because I don't know in what frame of mind you think that you have any leg to stand on after everything that you've done in the situation that you've created and that you can look this girl in the face and say you're making a mistake. No, you're actually dodging probably one of the biggest bullets in your life.

Sorry. Maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they have a happily ever after one day. Who knows? But I think this girl needs to move on. If it wasn't the first time, this man is a serial cheater. And oh, oh, here's the thing.

Me and Ellie, was that her name, Ellie? Yeah. Me and Ellie swear that we're never going to have, who's to say him and Jenny down the street are going to get freaky next time? Like, I don't care. If they'll do it once, they can do it again. And it doesn't have to be with like, with the same person. Like, that's why I never understood how women would take it out on the girl. At least if the girl was an unknowing participant. Like, if the girl didn't know this man had a girlfriend, like,

And the girlfriend gets like so mad at the other girl. And it's like, do you not realize that they're not the problem? If it was not her, it would be the next girl. Yeah. Your boyfriend is the issue here. He is a cheater. He has a problem. And if you can get rid of her, you could kill that girl. But it's not. It's him. It's him. He'll find another person. Well, and the fact that it wasn't.

oh, it just happened. It just happened this one day. It's not like, you know what? Yeah, we hooked up a couple of times. Even when he got caught, he still wasn't honest. He doubled down. And people like that, they might do anything and everything they can to get you back. Yeah. They're not going to change though. They're just going to get sneakier. Yeah. They're just going to make sure you don't find out this next time. Yes. And if you do go back with someone that's cheated on you, you're basically showing that

I'm willing to forgive. I'm willing to be a doormat. I'm willing to like let go and move on and pass this. And some people do only cheat once. Like some people cheat, but are not serial cheaters. And so, you know, everyone's different. What is the saying about zebras? Every zebra has its own stripes. There's no two zebras that look alike. Never heard that one. Every zebra has its own stripes. Never heard that one. Did I just make that up? I think you may have. I've never heard that one.

I know there's a tiger stripes one where a tiger doesn't change his stripes, but I thought there was no two zebras. I don't know. If that's not a saying, I just made it up and I feel very powerful right now. But I don't know. I think there's... I agree with that statement. I know that there are people that cheat once and never cheat again. It is a little bit of an unusual circumstance. It takes a special type of person and it takes a special situation to...

There's a lot of differences between that scenario and the scenario that we're seeing here. What I'm seeing is that this man will go to great lengths to try to get away with something because when he was caught, he lied about the situation, which means like you said, next time he'll just get smarter. Yeah.

Yeah, and I think there's a difference too in the way he's handling this. He's continuously pushing boundaries to apologize. He flew from wherever he was to go to her parents' house and apologize, not once in person. Didn't take getting punched in the face as like a, hey, don't show up here, buddy. Came back again. And is still trying to preach his case. And it's like, if you...

Are remorseful sit with that. Yeah, like sit and grow and give her space. Yeah Figure your shit out. You have a potential baby on the way like you got other shit going on here, right? Which last and final update I do see There was another post that got deleted. I it seems like there were some other details that were changed as far as age. So Firstly, i'll apologize when I wrote my last post. I was drunk. I don't usually drink but I felt like I needed it

Okay.

Ellie was not pregnant. It started when Ian had messaged me saying that he didn't believe Ellie was pregnant because he saw her at a club drinking and partying. The reason I felt bad was because there was still a small chance she could be pregnant at that time. But I truly believed if she was, she would not terminate.

She even previously said that she did not believe in abortions. However, on the night of the day he, quote, convinced her to have an abortion, she claimed to have one earlier in the day, then posted about how she was again drinking and partying all night, getting completely wasted. I confronted Kay about this, and he said she took an abortion pill. I felt they deserved it because two days ago, she finally admitted she lied about being pregnant. He was devastated and cut her off. Ellie messaged me saying it was my fault that he cut her off.

Take a hike, Ellie. I truly apologize for the confusion and my awful wording and lack of explaining last night. It was a very rough night. I feel terrible at the way I worded it and only partially remembered writing it. I'm sorry. See, this girl seems like a good person. She can admit her... Been there. Like, I was drunk. I did the damn thing. Never have I drunkenly taken to Reddit. That's a new one, but... It's almost like

She's using it as her journal. Yeah. Which is like. Which is fair. Yeah. Whatever. So I'm really confused about Ellie and if she was pregnant or not and if she got an abortion or not. I think Ellie was trying to steal the man's. You don't think she ever was pregnant? I don't think she was ever pregnant. I kind of agree. I think she used it as a ploy to like really lock him in. I think I think it would have came out. She would have either purposely tried to get pregnant being like, hey, baby, we don't need a condom. Come in me. I'm already pregnant. And then she would have got pregnant or she would have.

Had a miscarriage or something. Interesting. Yeah. Wow. Okay. That was a wild ride. Is that it? That's it. That's it. Okay. I'm satisfied. After five updates? Yeah. There's no more? No. I thought that there was going to be some point in which she caves or bends. This girl's strong. Yeah. God, I love to see that. Love to see that. There's always like a little bit of back and forth. Yeah.

Because it's hard. I've been there. Yeah. I've taken back some cheaters. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's hard to reckon with. How do you go from being completely in love with someone to writing them off like overnight? Those feelings don't go away overnight. Feelings don't go away overnight. And you all oftentimes, even when someone wrongs you, whether it's cheating or not, you leave the relationship and you often romanticize it. Rose colored glasses come on. Yeah. So it's easy to look back and be like, well,

is it really so bad in the grand scheme of things? He did a hundred good things and he had one bad day and people gaslight themselves. Yeah. Or you just like, you hear these words from, you know, the person that cheated and it's like, oh, well, they seem so genuine. Like it was a one-time thing. I think we can recover from this. I think we can grow and be stronger. And some people do it. Some people do it, but

I definitely think it's very challenging, especially just to even just get that basic level of trust back. Yeah. It's tough. I'm not optimistic about him. No. Moving along. So this one was posted 14 days ago.

On Am I the Asshole, shit ton of awards on the post and overall vote. I'm not going to tell you yet. Okay. Am I the Asshole for telling my parents that they ruined New Year's celebration after they kicked my husband out over a joke?

I've been married to my second husband, Mike, for four years now. He's a jokester and loves to crack jokes all the time. He especially likes to joke with my brother, Ethan, and his wife. Ethan used to be okay with it until he started complaining about Mike taking it too far with his jokes. Some context about Ethan. He and his wife couldn't have kids, so they adopted a boy, Joey, two years ago.

Mike has been making silly, lighthearted jokes that involve Joey's bio parents as a way to mess with Ethan and his wife. I already talked to Mike and I tell you that he 100% means no harm and he was just trying to get them to react. I'm just already want to kill him. So fast forward to New Year's Eve. My parents hosted a big celebratory dinner and Ethan and his wife came.

While we were eating dinner, Mike decided to tell a knock-knock joke to Ethan. He said, knock-knock. Ethan laughed and said, who's there? Mike replied, Joey's bio parents. Then he bursted out laughing. Silence took over and Ethan's facial expressions changed. His wife called Mike an idiot, to which Mike replied with, hey, relax. It was just a joke.

An argument ensued and dinner was paused. My parents suddenly told Mike to leave, which I thought was too harsh. I tried to speak to them and get them to calm down, but mom insisted that Mike leave. We left and Mike was complaining the whole time about how they overreacted. I called mom later and she told me Mike was out of line with his hurtful jokes about this touchy topic and told me I was wrong for defending him and saying he was just joking.

She said he ruined New Year's for the family, but I told her it was her and dad who ruined New Year's celebration for escalating the situation and kicking him out. I told her he could talk to them, but again, they were the ones who ruined New Year's celebration. She called me delusional for this statement and hung up. We haven't talked to them for days. I tried contacting Ethan, but no response. Am I the asshole? Um...

Her question is, am I the asshole for saying my parents ruined? No. Yeah, I think so. I don't think the parents are assholes. I think Mike's joke was quite literally not funny. And like...

Like, I don't see how that in what universe you would have gotten the laugh out of that one. Like he was missing something there. Also, it sounds like he he already knew it was a harmful topic. Yeah. And Mike has been making silly, lighthearted jokes that involve Joey's bio parents as a way to mess with Ethan and his wife. Yeah. And it sounds like they adopted the little boy, Joey, two years ago. So it sounds like this has been a continuous thing for the past two years. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I don't think that the parents are assholes. And so I do think she's an asshole. Like check your husband, right? Check your husband. Your husband was the asshole. Yeah. Overall vote on this one is asshole. Yeah. Okay, good. I don't find any of this funny. I don't I no matter how sick sense of humor you have.

I don't think making jokes about an adoptive child's bio parents coming back. No. Unless you're a foster parent, because that's different, right? Like a foster parent's role is like more so...

like reunification, like if you're, especially if you're in the temporary foster system where it's like you might be fostering a little baby while their mom is dealing with like withdrawal or addiction still. And like in that case, like

the goal when you're fostering is supposed to be reunification. And so I'm not like, we have no context about what their situation was. We don't even know how old Joey is, this little baby, this kid. We have no idea. But like to make those jokes, like you're not funny. You just like to see people hurt. When I first read that, like he likes to try to say stuff to get them to react. I'm like, what are you a fucking sadist? Yeah, exactly. That I thought the same thing. I'm like,

I don't ever tell jokes to get people to react. I tell jokes because it's something I think is funny and I want to like share with other people in the humor and the laugh. Like I'll read a meme and I'm like, oh, man, it's hilarious. I gotta send this to Morgan. You know what I mean? Like it's not like, oh, let me get a rile out of Morgan today, you know? So that to me is weird. I don't know. I just think that this guy has a weird sense of humor.

And he needs to be, he needed this to happen. When people like that are like clowns and they get away with like taking jokes too far and then hiding behind the geese of like, or the guys, the guys of like, it's just a joke. I hate those people. Those people need to be like almost embarrassed and singled out publicly so that they remember that feeling and they think twice about taking a joke that far.

Absolutely. I think kicking him out was the right thing to do. Yeah, I agree. He needs to let a little sense of shock come correct next time, Michael. Get your joke game up, big dog. Yeah. I definitely, if I was Ethan and his wife, I'd be going no contact. For sure. And it's like, well, I would just, I would need a sincere apology because I get it. I do get it that sometimes people, when they're trying to be funny, almost lose sense of judgment and

And it's not to say it's okay. You should do a better job of reading the room and maybe your EQ needs a little work. But... Yes, that. We've all seen it. All of us have done it. Like, amongst our friends where we take a joke too far and we're like, oh, shoot. Like, I should walk that back. Like, that was kind of hurtful, you know? And it's like, you just get away with the joke. In this case, I don't really know where he was going for it because it just, like, wasn't funny. But...

You know, like, I think... I don't think that there's a world in which, like, this can't be repaired relationship is what I'm saying. I don't think this was, like, so far gone that it's, like, you'll never want to hang out with Michael. I know. I'm curious. I feel like if it were me and I had dealt with two years of these, like, tasteless jokes, I'd probably be so over it. And it's, like, this was the last straw for me. But...

We'll see. There's no comments from OP, not an update yet. So just posted 14 days ago. So maybe there will be a revelation for good old Mike. Mike's New Year's resolution should be to have funnier jokes. Don't be a shitty fucking person, Mike.

Top comment on this one. You're the asshole. Your husband likes to hurt people. It's nothing to do with jokes. Yeah. 112,000 upvotes. Because everyone knows a guy who does that. Or a girl. I don't know. Over 400 awards on that comment. That's crazy. That's crazy. No offense to that comment, but it's not like brilliant. No. He's like stated the obvious. Yes.

It must have been early. It must have been. Sometimes the early bird gets the worm. It really does. Even though it's not the best. We've talked about that, yeah, in a couple different ways. Sometimes it's, what is it? First moves advantage? First movers advantage or something like that? Sounds like a chess thing. It does, but it's like in anything too, like with Tesla, like they get first...

There's going to be tons of electric vehicles coming out, but Tesla will always have first movers advantage like they did at first. I know, but their stock. Have you seen their stock lately? Yeah. I mean, I'm just using that as an example of someone who broke through in an industry that was not. Yeah. Yeah. No. Like Apple. You can think of like a bunch of industries where. I know. So crazy because like you think about all this, like all the movers and shakers and a lot of them have like stolen technology. That's crazy. Bill Gates stole technology. From who?

I forget the engineers. I watched like the documentary on it. There's a documentary on it? Yeah. Wow. Anyways, the next comment down, like couple down is like,

Quote, hey, it's just a joke. It's not a get out from everything. No one is obliged to find something funny just because you do. And to insist that they should is bullying. No more, no less. Mike's jokes are unpleasant and not remotely funny. And I speak as someone with a very sick sense of humor. He's an asshole and OP is another one for enabling him. She must really, really like him to even find him funny. Or she's just a fucking pick me.

I was thinking about that too. I already get really, I've talked about this on an earlier episode. Like I get such bad secondhand embarrassment sometimes. So when I see someone like going down a bad path or they're going to make a joke, that's just self-sabotage. I would, I'd be like, you know what, mom and dad, thank God you kicked us out. Like we deserved, he deserved that. Like I get such bad secondhand embarrassment. I would go home and like

throw hands with Michael and be like, you embarrassed me. Your jokes are so not funny. I would be like mad. I don't know. I would too. I'd be like, okay. Yeah. Like that was such a, are you kidding? That was such a stupid offensive thing to say. Like I'm embarrassed to be associated by you. Literally, I would have looked at him and been like, you can see yourself out, dude. I would have been like, yeah. Someone call this guy an Uber. Yeah. So,

Michael, phone a friend. It's time to go. Yeah. I would have honestly been like, I'm thinking about myself. And if I had a boyfriend who was making some tasteless jokes like that,

I would be so embarrassed. I think I'd get the ick and I'd have to break up with them. You would. You absolutely would. I think I'd have to. I can't live my life like that. I can't fake laugh in my own home. I would not be able to do this. No. This would be the ick. I went out to lunch with someone today and was just kind of reconnecting and learning about shit that's gone down in their life. And they were telling me this story about...

Like, a friend turned, like, not good. And hearing some of the stuff, like, that this friend did to them, I literally got, like, secondhand ick. And I feel like that from this. Like, I literally have the ick. Like, how do you have sex with this person? I know. It's funny that you and I were like, oh, secondhand ick, secondhand embarrassment, secondhand sadness. And someone commented and was like, you guys, you're just describing empathy. Like, they were like...

It's empathy. You're not creating anything new, you idiots. We're like, is there such thing as secondhand sadness for someone? And they're like, are you girls okay? Yeah.

Sometimes you just try too hard to be cool. Yeah, we overcomplicate things. Well, and you're just like, I don't know. When you think about empathy, it's always just like... You think in the terms of sympathy. Yeah. It's like sympathy versus empathy, but it's still kind of like... It can go multiple ways. Yeah. Like I could be like super overjoyed that my friend got a new job. I didn't see that comment, so it's just kind of clicking for me now. You didn't see that? No.

Wait, I didn't. I thought I showed you. I was like, oh, my God, we thought we did something with that one. We're so stupid. No, it wasn't just one. There was multiple. That's pretty painful. It was pretty funny. I'll find it. And it's pretty. I mean, it's good. And it got tons of likes. People were like, what are they doing? I wish I had my old computer up with all my like sticky notes because I used to have my top five strengths on there. And one of them is empathy. So I'm like, how did that not click for me? But it's fine. It happens.

It happens. Moving along. Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes.

Gillette razors, Metamucil, Crest toothpaste, Secret body spray, and a Swiffer power mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. This next one. Holidays, they sure bring out the best in people. Cousins. I'm just laughing because we literally...

I had a meltdown. Oh, I... You had a meltdown? Did you have one too? I had a meltdown. I took a pillow. I swung a pillow into my Christmas tree and pushed it over. You didn't tell me that. And then swung another pillow...

I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you. I was unhinged. I have not reacted like that. Morgan, you did not tell me that. I thought I had the breakdown. Maybe you were coddling me and you didn't tell me. Yeah, I didn't want to like a trauma dump on you after your fiasco. Let me one up you. No, I was a fucking meltdown. Wait, offline. Tell me more. Oh, what?

Ah, you're the Grinch. Literally, my parents just started fighting and they wouldn't stop. I lost it. Was Justin here? No. No. Does he know about this? Yeah. And I had just spent like three hours decorating the tree by myself. No. Yeah, and then redecorated it.

Oh, wow. Yours got violent. Okay. Can't wait to hear more. So yeah, the holidays are a really good time. Yeah. Terrible. Cousin's gift ruined Christmas and possibly my relationship.

I come from a big family. Our holidays involve extended family, like second cousins, etc. My fiancé and I are in our mid-20s, and there are a lot of cousins in their 20s and 30s. Last night, we had our big Christmas party. It was fun to see everyone until it was time to exchange presents. My cousin, Anna, not her real name, hands out pink envelopes to all the 20s and 30s men who have married-slash-dated into the family.

My fiance received one and quickly put it in his pocket after opening it. I was distracted opening my gifts and didn't ask to look at it. About 20 minutes later, my cousin Rachel, again, not a real name, pulls me aside and says Anna is giving out cards with instructions on how to get a discount subscription to her OnlyFans. What? What?

Rachel's boyfriend got one of the pink cards and showed Rachel because he was weirded out. I'm pissed at this point because I suspect my fiancé's card also has an OnlyFans discount. So I asked to talk with him and he denies getting a card from Anna.

I tell him, quote, I saw her hand you won and I watched you put it in your pocket. I go to grab his pocket and he suddenly remembers getting a card but claims he didn't open it. I take it from him and of course it's already opened. Oh my God. And of course it's about fucking OnlyFans.

I go back inside to confront Anna and find her already arguing with a different cousin who is upset because her husband has already tried looking at Anna's page. Anna claims she's just trying to get her business off the ground and no one appreciates all the hard work and skills it takes to be successful in a digital career. She says her gift is not sexual. It's just marketing. Honey.

I guess it depends on what you're showing on your OnlyFans. Sure. Okay, that's fine. But yeah, I don't know. Like some people use it to like have their like fitness groups. Like OnlyFans started out to be like a club, like almost like a Patreon where you can go and support your favorite people. And then it was very sex industry friendly. So that kind of is now what it's synonymous with. But if you like keep your fitness to like Instagram, TikTok, Instagram.

There are platforms that are less stigmatized and adjacent to the sexual element, which there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, I'm not shitting on OnlyFans or those who have careers in OnlyFans. No, get the coin. Right. Get your bag, sis. Or sir. Give it to your family. But don't pass out. Essentially, you're pimping yourself out. You're sending coupons. If you want to pimp yourself out, pimp yourself out. But know your audience. These are your family members, significant others. Yeah.

Where would you go? I'm trying to think of a better marketing tactic for her. What do you mean? Like, I would go to, like, a football game and just, like, walk up to cute dudes. Okay, so are we pretending that we're assuming that her OnlyFans is a sexual page? Yeah.

Not something I've had to think about. Not that. Not your family Christmas. Not your family Christmas. Not your family Christmas. Read the room, girly. Yeah. Some of the older relatives, aunts and uncles, are starting to take sides too, but they're mostly really confused about what's going on. Anna's mom started crying because of something I said, and my mom tried to get me to apologize, which pissed me off more.

At this point, I leave with my brother and his husband because I don't want to spend the night with my fiance at home. And I don't feel like going with parents when my mom is pressuring me to apologize.

Oh, and surprise, surprise. Anna didn't give my brother's husband a card. So make of that what you will about the intent behind her gift. Ah, interesting. I'm seriously considering calling off the engagement over this. And I'm pissed at my cousin for ruining both Christmas and my relationship. I'm a little confused as to why Opie's fiance lied. Because he wanted to go check it out. I mean, yeah, I...

could put that together. But like, that was just a stupid, I guess what I'm saying is I'm confused why he thought that would fly. That's what I'm more confused about. Like you, she saw you get your gift, dude. She saw many people get this gift.

You thought like if you I don't know that was just a bad stupid lie. And here's what I will say to you is really like he really wanted to see it though. That just goes to show how bad he wanted to check it out. She must be a baddie. I mean the fact that some guys in the corner like trying to plug in this promo code at Christmas. The fact that another person's husband that was there already tried. Yeah.

that's exactly this man's already trying to access oh I thought he had done it previously like he had already done it oh like no I got the before the okay okay the impression that he was like there and he like trying to plug it in yeah oh my god either way terrible either way either way bad but I what I will say is that kind of relating to what I said in the earlier story about cheating is I guess I don't know the order you're gonna do this in but

I don't think you can blame your cousin for ruining your relationship, to be honest with you. If someone hands your husband a decision of temptation and he chooses temptation, it's not the person who offered it that wronged you. It's your husband. Like, I don't agree with the cousin doing that. I think it's highly inappropriate if she is promoting sexual content to her family members, boyfriends and husbands.

That's a different level of unhinged. Yeah, totally. And I'm not here to like dispute that. I think that's not okay. But what OP is saying, like, I despise my cousin for ruining my engagement or my relationship.

That's where I draw the line because it's like, no, he is a grown man with full autonomy and he made a decision. He could have ripped it up. He could have put it in his pocket. And then when you asked about it, pulled you aside and been like, I don't want to embarrass you or anybody in the family. I want to talk about it with you later. I'm not trying to hide it from you, but-

This was kind of uncomfortable. I'll show you later. Or just hand it to her and be like, go look at it. You know? Yeah. Well, the one dude did it perfectly. Yeah. Because she found out about it because of her other cousin, Rachel, coming up to her because Rachel's partner said, hey, I just got this card from Anna. This is really weird. Look. Yeah.

That's how you should react to getting that as a gift. I know. Instead of hiding it so you can go home and creep on your little computer and look at your fiance's cousin's pussy later. Ah!

yeah like no i agree i agree that's what i mean like are you in agreement with what i'm saying yeah absolutely it's on him not it's on him she definitely ruined christmas for everyone yes but she didn't ruin your relationship right that falls on your partner exactly because if your partner is faced with temptation and he falls into it damn him like that's his wrong also like in terms of like

temptation um i think this is like kind of low on this scale yeah um you're at family christmas and you got like a coupon he literally got a coupon you got a coupon for no your potential future family members only fans i'm sorry this man you were about to lose him somehow i'm gonna tell you that much if he this is the lightest form of temptation he's going to be faced with far more

Far worse temptation out in the wild. He would have fucked himself on the bachelor trip. Fucked himself on the bachelor trip. Yep. This man was weak. And I think that this is a win. I said it. A win is a win. A win is a win. A win is a win. She weeded out a weak man for you. Actually, in fact, thank your husband. Or thank your cousin.

Yeah. Pimp out her OnlyFans for her. Become her business manager. Just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Take a cut. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No. That part I'm kidding about. I don't think your cousin. It was still highly inappropriate. We're not going to condone that behavior. But she maybe maybe she you're dodging a bullet. You 1000% are dodging a bullet with this one. I wouldn't be surprised if he did stuff already and she just doesn't know about it. I don't know. We could be demonizing this guy. Like we don't have all the facts to be fair. Yeah.

Because I can hear people out there being like, you guys hate men. No. I hate this man. Yeah. I don't know if I do because there is a chance. We haven't heard like the whole side. Men kind of do dumb, questionable things when they're like uncomfortable. And like I'm not cutting him a break. But I am. Part of me does wonder. If he would have showed her later. Yeah. He just didn't want to do it there. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know because I don't think he would have lied about opening it. I think when he like was confronted in that moment and it was like, no, I saw you. And he's like, okay, but I didn't open it. And then she gets it and it's open. It's like, why are you lying and lying and lying and lying and lying? Like you're adding so many lies on lies. Like you don't need the layers. Be like,

I did open it, but I didn't want to tell you here to create an issue. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Okay. Fine. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So the top comment on this one is not going to lie. I want to know what you said that your mom wants you to apologize to your aunt for because I would have been ruthless. And next person goes, probably told her she is a whore and a home wrecker, which is less of an insult than it is a fact. Damn.

I don't even think I would have gotten that mean, honestly. Yeah. I really wouldn't have. I wouldn't. I would have a conversation offline and just be like, that was highly inappropriate. I'm sorry you feel the need to do this. I don't know. Not the OnlyFans, just to be very clear. Yeah. I'm sorry that you feel the need to like pimp yourself out to our... Family. Yeah. That's... I also like, I...

I will be honest, Justin and I have talked in the past, way before the podcast. I was unemployed, okay? I'm not judging you. I'm just like, I'm here for this content. You're surprised? I think a lot of people kind of, you can't dangle that carrot. Oh, fuck. Well, we did talk about it. And he even joked about like, no, I would post myself. What? It never would have been our faces. If you're Justin's mom and listening, skip 30 seconds. Okay.

But he really wanted to do a milk bath photo shoot. Have you ever seen those? I need to know more now. We cannot move on until I have some more information. It's just like where you pour like milk in a bath and it gives us like white cloudy water effect. And we thought it would be fun to like take pictures in a milk bath for OnlyFans. Like naked? Yeah.

Okay, show me the milk bath. So like that's someone that's pregnant and doing their like maternity shoot in a milk bath. Like really pretty with the flowers. Too much? Did I share too much? I'm sorry, guys. What's in these waters? I haven't even had any alcohol.

So, I get it. I get the OnlyFans, but... Okay. I would never, even if I had one, I would never in a million years want my family to go on there. Or even not even my family, but my family's partners to go on there and look at me. I agree. Imagine every family interaction after they see you naked. And, like, a lot of people on OnlyFans, like, I mean...

From what I know, again, I haven't had one personally, but I did when I was in grad school, like a group of girls. We also went on pantydeals.com to like sell underwear. I never did. A lot of them did. And they talked about like special requests they would get where it was like pee in these underwear. And like I know like pussy lollipops are a thing. So people will stick suckers up their vagina and then send them to people.

And so depending on what type of content... I know a lot about this. I've, like, thoroughly researched. I fell into that hole of the internet somehow. I don't know. Wow. I'm learning so much tonight. Yeah. Well, especially... This is so educational. Like, for the panty deals, like, a lot of people would be like, can you work out in those underwear? Go to Pilates in them. Sweat in them for a week. Specifically Pilates. Like, whatever the workout is. But yeah, like, workouts. And so there's a bunch of weird requests. And so you can do that on OnlyFans as well. And so...

it just it feels weird to me i don't know i agree i mean if it is a sexual page why would you want to guide your family to it it's like keep those things separate yeah there's a comment that op responds to and the comment says anna had no home training what a bitch and op goes she's the worst um

Next comment that OP responds to. Mm-hmm.

Thank you. It's so disrespectful. And I feel like my fiance let me down big time. Why did he lie to me? My insecurities are telling me he was hiding the card so he could see Anna's OnlyFans. Maybe.

probably another comment that's deleted by the user but OP responds this had crossed my mind but why did he lie to me when I confronted him first he said he didn't get a card then he said he forgot that he had received one but that he hadn't opened it when the envelope was torn open yeah and it wasn't like days later I'm assuming this was within a couple hours yeah it seems like it all happened pretty quickly you know yeah no

No. Honestly, what the cousin did was wrong, of course, but in a way, she did y'all a favor because apparently you guys were dating men who would hide it from you that they were watching porn of other women, especially your own cousin.

Like, sure, to some it may not matter, and to me it doesn't either, but the fact that they felt the need to hide it and lie about it was weird. And Opie goes, getting some texts this morning that it's causing a lot of drama within several relationships. Um, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's your cousin, yeah, maybe overstepped, but these men had a choice, and they were trying to sneak around and check out Anna's page. Yeah. Yeah.

Check your mans. I honestly... Check your mans. I feel like this kind of needs to be done at like a friend's giving. Just to like

What do you mean? I don't know. This feels like a weird way of like also loyalty testing people. No, I don't want to do that. I don't like that stuff. I don't even. I don't like testing people. The loyalty tests are really interesting. Like Dave in the Morning, the Ryan's Roses or whatever. Oh, yeah. Or the modern days. Like girls will literally like you could Venmo me $10 to go like message your boyfriend and see. First of all, never mind, whatever. But like...

It's scummy. It's scummy, but it's like it's setting them up and I guess if they fall into it, then... True. Like, play stupid games. Yeah, win super prizes. Yeah.

You know, but it's, I don't know. It just sucks. I don't like the idea of setting people up like that. It feels so like childish and manipulative. Well, and if like, I think a lot of the loyalty tests too, like if you feel that, if you feel something's going on to where you need to inquire about another woman's services to test your boyfriend's loyalty, like if you're feeling those things,

It could be you. You could be insecure. But also, like, it's most likely a vibe you're getting from him. Yeah. And you don't trust him. So...

Maybe move on. I agree. I will say there are some cases where women know that they're doing something shady, but they don't have proof and they just need that hard, cold evidence to walk away. Yeah. So I sometimes can like, when they're doing it for the purpose of like, I just need that like smoking gun. I just need that like thing to present to be like,

I caught you. There's no disputing this. You can't gaslight me. You can't do this, that, that. That I'm like, then I kind of get it. But when it's like, I just want to test him just to like, you know, make sure, I don't know. I don't. Yeah. But again, if like you need that just to like, yeah. Oh, like,

Then be done. I know. And we've said that before about stuff like if you feel the need to like creep through someone's phone, especially like regularly, like be done. Yeah. Yep. Moving along. Anna might have done you all a favor. Sucks in the moment, but you dodged a bullet. I hope. Yeah. That's kind of the way I'm looking at it. Yeah. Yeah.

If that man was golfing, I'm going to smack him. If this man was like, I can't miss tea time.

My husband and I are expecting. This is our first baby and we're excited. Thing is, he barely attends any doctor's appointments with me and his excuses aren't even valid. He's willing to miss the doctor appointment over soccer or a drink or a board game with friends. His response is always, quote, I'm not the one carrying the baby. Why do I have to go see the doctor with you? I know I've heard I've heard enough.

Last week was my final straw. He was supposed to come with me for the baby's gender reveal appointment, but he chose not to come last minute because his friend invited him to fish and chips meal. No, shut up. I'll be damned. I was pretty livid, but didn't make a fuss about it. Mom went with me instead.

He texted asking me to tell him the results, boy or girl, but I refused to tell him. He kept spam calling me, but I hung up each time. He came home fuming, demanded I tell him the results, but I refused and bluntly told him. Since he refused to attend the appointment, then he gets no results till after the baby's born and said I was willing to die on this hill.

He went off calling me spiteful and immature for doing this and punishing him. He said he's the father and he has the right to know. He then called me dramatic since I wasn't alone and mom was with me. I said he gets no results, period. He's been fuming about it and told his family and they're now pressuring me to stop playing mind games with him and tell him. But I declined. Am I the asshole? No.

No. Absolutely not. No, I would do the same thing. I wouldn't tell him. No. I'm sorry. Call me petty. Call me vindictive. I would not. I would not tell him. You can go to the next doctor appointment with me if you want to know. Show up to an appointment for once. I'm, you know, I'm not typically dramatic in the sense that I'm not the first person to be like, leave him, leave him, divorce. But this for me, I think would make me want to leave him.

I completely agree. I'd be so sad to be... You're already doing it alone. Sharing a child. Yeah. I'm not the one carrying the baby. Exactly. So you don't get to know the sex of the baby. What? Isn't that even like more of a valid reason for you to participate? Yeah. At least at the bare minimum level. Like I'm making this sacrifice on my body, my health. Like I don't know if anyone else has seen that TikTok list, but like every time someone posts like a bad pregnancy symptom or like something that goes wrong,

it gets stitched and someone like types it in a list on their phone. There's over 200 bullet points on this list. Like pregnancy is not easy. And yes, some people have a great time and it's a magical experience for some, but like it also is very risky. Women die every day. Women die in childbirth and pregnancy.

This makes me so angry. I just feel like I'm not trying to make light of the situation, but if my man did not come to my doctor appointment to know the sex of our baby because he had to get fish and chips, what? Fish and chips. Fish and chips. Fish and chips. At the beginning of this, I was like, oh, it's like- At least call them French fries. Yeah, right. No, I'm just kidding. At the beginning, I was like, oh, if it's for tea time, you know, kind of joking, but I think that that's worse. It absolutely is worse. I think that's worse.

Unless like, oh, my friend's dog died. Honestly, go over after the appointment. I don't know. The appointment takes an hour. Yeah. That's one of those things where you don't get to redo it.

Like in life, there's moments that are so, you don't realize sometimes maybe in the moment that that's going to be a precious core memory. And there's nothing's guaranteed. This could be your only child that you ever have. And these are such important milestones that you're missing intentionally for things that are non-urgent. You can go get your fish and chips at any given moment, at any given time. Like carve out the time to go do this special thing. The fact that he missed the appointment for the reveal of the baby's sex is,

And then demanded to know and had the audacity to say, I'm not carrying it. Are you kidding me? This is going to be, I'm sorry, I hate to break it to OP, but I think this is going to be a terrible father thing.

Or at least, let's put it this way. No, no, I agree. A terrible co-parent at the least. Like, there is nothing that signals about the way that this man has behaved and the way that he speaks of your pregnancy that tells me that he's going to be a good partner in this. I think that this is a shitty person, to be honest with you. I agree. I agree.

I think it's total bullshit. The top comment on that one also agrees. 74K upvotes. Not the asshole. Already a deadbeat dad before the baby is even born. Yeah. Yep. And someone else goes, I would drop a friend if I found out they prioritized fish and chips over their wife and baby's doctor appointment. I don't know if she says how far along she is, but usually like the scans that happen as you progress through life

like your pregnancy, the scan isn't necessarily for the sex of the baby. A lot of times these early scans are for like the health of the baby. Is there anything going on? Is the baby growing at the right rate? Does the baby have three legs instead of two? Like it's usually to make sure the baby is actually healthy. Yeah.

And as a bonus, you find out the sex of your baby. But it's not like it's just for a sex scan. And so the fact that like, yeah, oh, you're being dramatic. Your mom went with you. But if she would have got terrible news at that scan that, hey, your baby actually has stopped developing. Yeah. There's no heartbeat. She's by herself. Like, yeah, her mom is there, but that's not her partner. Yeah.

That was... You just hit it. I was just going to say that. I know the mom was there, but, like, essentially, you're making her, like, do this alone. I know she's not alone. But she is. But she is alone. In a sense, yeah. Yeah, in the sense of, like, this...

this unit between you two because it's your family at the end of the day. It's going to be you and him and your baby at home. And so I agree with you. I mean, that's just sad. For no reason other than to want to be a part of the process for yourself, at least do it for your partner. Do it for your wife. Do it for the person carrying this baby because you're

That can't be easy. I mean, I haven't been pregnant. I can't imagine. I'm sure there's so many difficulties, emotional roller coasters, physical toll, mental toll, emotional, everything, everything, right? And I'm sure those...

I mean, I have to have friends come with me to like blood draws. Like I know I'm dramatic. I get it. No, but Justin does. He can't drive himself because he passes out usually. Exactly. I have to be driven to these appointments and I know that sounds dramatic and I'm not trying to make it about me, but I'm like. It's absolutely valid. It's, if I'm in her position, I would want somebody to be there for me for an emotional support. Yeah.

Like you said, if there's bad news. Absolutely. That's so sad. Also, like, why even have a kid if you're not a willing participant and you don't want to play an active role as a parent, a father? Like,

It seems like he doesn't want anything to do with this baby. That's the impression that I'm getting. Yeah. I also, and maybe I'm just like totally reading into things, but I feel like he's also kind of like, well, what's the gender? What's the gender? Like, what is this? Is a boy? Yes. I feel like I'm getting that energy. I feel like he's one of those dads that you see on those like gender reveal, like air quotes, gender reveal, um,

where like it's a dad, they swing the bat, it's pink smoke, and he fucking pouts. Yeah. I'm getting that vibe from this dude. Like do I leave you or not? Like I need to know if it's a boy. It's fucking weird. Take your L. You skipped out on that appointment. Yeah. So.

It doesn't matter. Why does it matter? If it matters so much, you would have gone. Yeah. There is a baby edit slash update. Hi. So first of all, wow, I did not expect this to blow up. Sorry, can't answer any comments because of feeling overwhelmed. I just wanted to mention that my husband just attempted to contact my doctor to get the results. It didn't go well and we had another argument over it. He couldn't get it since his mom was the one who made the call. Hmm.

He couldn't even call the doctor. You had to have your mommy do it. It's a baby. It's a baby boy. Oh, poor little baby. Little man child. Little baby. Accounts been suspended. I don't see any other comments from OP. This dude sucks. That dude sucks. That dude sucks. I hope... I hate these stories because...

No matter what, like, he's still a father. He's still the father to this child. And I feel bad knowing that a child is going to come into this world and have a shitty father who did shitty things like that. Also, like, the baby. Like, when they grow up and they're like, my dad didn't even care to be at any of those appointments. Mm-hmm.

You know he's not going to be present. Not at all. Based on that attitude. I just feel so bad now because someone else has... It's someone else's problem now. Yeah. Well, and I'm like, I'm scrolling down just to see if there's any other comments. And none of the initial ones mention kind of what we talked about with health stuff. But when you get down...

Mm-hmm.

Someone goes this. Yeah, I can't believe that.

I cannot believe this man sat back and ate some fish and chips with his old pal. Yeah. Can you like, hell yeah. My wife's just like having the scan right now. Why aren't you there? Oh, I wanted to grab fish and chips with you. I'd be like, you're a weirdo. You're a weirdo. I dropped him. Get to the hospital, dude. Yeah. Someone does say this though. Agreed. At my 20 week scan, we found out there was an issue with the baby's brain and had to be referred to fetal medicine. Totally terrifying and cannot imagine my husband having left me to find that out without

him. Insane. Pisses me off when people call it a gender reveal scan. That's not its purpose. Yeah. It's life altering, brain chemistry changing. Yeah. Yeah. That is for sure. Horrendous. Okay. Maybe I'm going to mix it up with a short and sweet palate cleanse. Now let's go short and sweet. I like to keep my cortisol levels low at night and I think that they're getting a little too elevated. Okay. Okay. You know, I need to bring it back down a little bit. Yeah. Okay. Let me go find a happy one. A happy, happy one. Happy.

Something sweet. Something that gives me a little hope. I have it in my feel good folder. It's not necessarily like a happy, wholesome feel good story, but it's just kind of like a light little palate cleanse that might be a thought provoking way to end. Okay.

So it is from r slash ask men and it's titled married couples. What is the unspoken rules of a successful marriage? There's no winning an argument when you're married. You either come to an agreement somehow or you've both lost a situation where one person walks away feeling discouraged, unheard and disrespected is not a victory when you're married.

And so someone else goes after. My favorite saying is, it's not you versus your significant other. It's you two versus the problem. I like that. Next comment. Everybody always says to be honest and to communicate with each other. The extra step that is left out is to not punish your spouse for being honest. Sometimes you might hear things you don't like, but if you punish this honesty, the communication line will close.

Yeah, that's an important one. And a lot of people forget that one. Absolutely. And comprehension is another part of that. Next one. Sometimes you'll be helping each other poop or puke or both and cleaning it up. Don't ever bring this back up to humiliate the other. Wow. Interesting. No, I just I have a friend who's like recently gotten into a debacle because they like threw up.

Like on themselves and like in the car. And it like literally like caused a huge issue. Yeah. What? You can't control when you throw up. Yeah, I know.

dump him next one my wife is pregnant and kind of emotional we have an argument that I can't laugh at her farts unless she laughs first oh this is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done I have this would be me I have a friend who I could see doing that and it's not you no this would be me really oh my god Justin showed me a fart video once from TikTok and it was like a joke about like a couple and farting and I literally cried the

That would be me. Morgan. Yeah. I'm emotional about my farts. I didn't know that. Yeah. We've all learned a lot this episode. Wow. Yeah. You guys got a deep dive into Morgan's.

Last one I'm going to read is give each other space and alone time. If he wants to veg out and play video games for a couple of hours, let him. If she wants to unwind watching reality TV or reading books, let her. You don't have to be connected at the hip to have a successful marriage. That one louder for the people in the back because I know so many people who lose their own identities and hobbies and interests when they're in a relationship.

when they get in a relationship and it doesn't need to be like that you need your own time and your own interests and your own hobbies and your own time i'm so passionate about that one i completely agree what a good note i like that i know it's just like little like fun tidbits of info yeah i love little tidbits i like that this is all i have for this episode of two hot takes in 2023 2023 baby

baby. If you are not subscribed on whatever you're listening slash watching this on, please subscribe, follow, hit the little bell for notifications. Trying to grow everything this year and it means so much to us. Episode 100 is coming up.

In like two weeks. Yeah. It's absolutely insane. I'm so excited. And I can't wait. It's going to be a wild one with each person from the show finding a story for me instead of me finding the stories. So it's going to be really good. But on that note, that's all I got for you. So until next time. See ya. Bye, guys.

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