202: 4 Years Deep..
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Oh my God, your hair's so long. It's so... Holy smokes. It's literally like scraggles though. How did it get so long? Because I am really bad about getting haircuts. And so I pretty much get them cut once it's really scraggly at the end. Damn, girl. The guy that I get my hair cut from, he always thinks I go somewhere else in between him. And I'm like, no. This is literally just how...

Oh my God. Few and far between I get haircuts. Wow. I know. I don't know why too, because I love them. So I don't know why. It's such a spa, like getting your scalp scrubbed. So nice. Oh, it's amazing. I just, I cry every time I get my haircut ever since I was like a kid. Really? Well, not, not actual tears now. Well, one time, but I just get really stressed out about it. Oh my gosh. I don't know if it's

It's like, I mean, you're losing a part of yourself in a way. It's just, it's like a change. An identity crisis. Yeah, it freaks me out a little bit. Oh, man. You're funny. You're a funny girl, Lauren. That's really weird, I know. Well, I have like a little check-in for us to do today. Like say one really weird thing or bad thing and then say a positive thing. Oh, my gosh. I'll go first because I've been thinking of mine. And if you don't have anything, you know, you don't have to. But I'm like, this might be a fun way to start.

So my my just weird, it's not necessarily bad, but it's it's quite strange. Someone sent 11 Bibles in Spanish to my house. So that was kind of like a like a what does this mean? Well, if it was one, I would assume that they're just trying to help you. You need Jesus, bitch. Well, I was going to say learn Spanish, but maybe that, too.

But there being like 11 or 12. 11. Like what does the number 11 signify? It's so random. I don't know. But then, okay, so that was my weird one. And then my positive is I really just love...

like my community and where I live. I was riding my horse today and all of a sudden this little lady like pulled up out front of a house in her little Subaru and opened the back door and like I thought a dog was gonna hop out. Mini pony. Two goats. Oh,

I was like, this is so sick. So that made my day. Oh my gosh. That is a day maker. I wasn't ready for this. So you had this prepped? I did. We can come back if you think of it. But like, I don't know. Did someone cut you off on the highway? Is this today? Or just like recently? Like what's one thing in your life you have to be thankful for or that you feel like really positive about? Well, I'm really happy about my new job. Ah!

Yeah. So I really, I really like it and I'm really excited about it. And it's, it's been, oh my gosh, just, I've spent so much time working from home, taking meetings from home and being back out in person in front of people is just, it's really, really good for me to get out, have coworkers again, just talk to people in person. It just feels really good. And I've

I spent so much time like ever since the pandemic. Yeah, within my own home. So that's like my positive. I love that. Yeah. We can end there. That was really good. Okay. I'm just trying to think of like a weird thing that's happened because I feel like weird things have happened recently, but I'm just like blanking on them. Maybe one of the stories today will jog your memory. Yeah. You'll be like, what?

Did you mean to do that? Well, I was a bench. I feel like you were just trying to mess with me. Well, we're celebrating your new job, the four-year anniversary of Too Hot Takes, but I was holding it really hard. Wait, did you see my post last night? Yeah. You didn't repost it. Yes, I did on my personal. Oh, you did. Oh, okay. I haven't checked Instagram really today, so that's probably why. Last night, it was like midnight, and I'm like, why didn't she repost it?

I don't know. I reposted it maybe this morning when I woke up. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. This is why it's very, very, very important that you hold the cage, twist six times, and then slowly wiggle it off because you can kill people. That's why I was holding it really aggressively if you like zoom in on my hand. Yeah. But no, I was going to pop it at the right time. Just the safest champagne popper girl of all time. I almost took an NHL player's eye out once and it scarred me ever since.

Well, you've mentioned this so many times with champagne, so it definitely is something that I'm always thinking about having my hand over it. Yeah. Yeah. So I was practicing. Oh, God, that really didn't feel. What were we saying before this rudely popped? Four years. Oh, four scores and seven years ago. Four scores. What were we saying before?

I think you were just saying that it's been four years. Yeah. Since our first episode. So you tagged me in that story. So to give you guys like a little lore, the first episode we ever recorded was January 27th of 2021. Yesterday was January 27th, but we've had a leap year in between. So we're recording basically four years to the day. It's the 28th right now.

And then the first episode dropped February 10th. And there's not a February 10th like on a Thursday this year. So this will actually be the four-year mark episode. Yay.

That's so cool. It feels like we've really come full circle. I mean, it's insane because I feel like I remember that like it was yesterday. I can't believe it's been four years. And it's just so funny because I remember so well thinking that I'm talking into these cameras.

cameras. I'm talking to this microphone and thinking like it's just I'm talking to like maybe two of our other friends who are going to listen. I'm like because I just didn't know we didn't have an audience. So we didn't like we didn't know where it would go at that moment. And so I assumed that it would like at least take a few episodes until it could start like growing. Yeah. But you guys jumped on

immediately. So fast. And we were just I couldn't believe that we were talking to so many of you guys like from that first episode. From the jump. And it's crazy to see how far it's come and like this community that you built. It's so amazing and special. So yay Morgan. Clap clap clap. It really wouldn't have taken off without you agreeing to come on. I literally I pinched myself every day and

I just am kind of at a loss for words. I'm blown away by the support. I'm appreciative of TikTok for boosting it and getting it out there. I'm so grateful that each and every one of you listen week after week. So in honor of four years, today's episode will be 23 minutes. It'll have two stories and just kidding. Got so many good stories lined up. No idea what I'm going to title this. Feels full circle.

like a lot of the stories I have are like, shut the front door. Like, what? Stop talking already. Like, oh my God. Like, they're very original chaos. Like, it's kind of getting back to our roots of original chaos. And it's going to be a good one. Are you ready? Yeah. Let's dive in. Let's do it. Cheers. Cheers.

Congratulations. Cheers to you guys. Cheers to you guys. Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, I remember my weird. Okay. So yesterday I was driving to work and I was out and about all day and didn't really have my phone on me.

And then I realized when I was looking at my Apple Watch that my boyfriend texted me and said, you took the keys to your car because I ended up taking his car. So I accidentally had my keys and then his car. So he was kind of like stuck at home. He works from home, so it's fine. But anyway...

He's kind of annoyed, right? Which is fair. He's like, can you let me know if the keys are here? Because I was trying to go to a workout class. Oh, no, and it was already booked? Yeah. Oh, and you don't want that cancellation penalty. But I'm waiting in line in the bathroom, and I don't have my phone. I have my watch. And so I talk into my watch trying to do a voice text, and it was loud in the restaurant, so I am trying to make sure it's clear. So I go...

Yes, I took my keys and I have been in back to back meetings all day. You knew this, but sorry, did not mean to take keys. And I send it and then all of a sudden it goes and I look at it and it's a voice memo. It is not voice text. It is a voice memo. Oh, no.

And so I'm like, I have to go back to this meeting and I'm trying not to laugh at how ridiculous that must have sounded. And so I'm sitting there just like holding in a laugh. And then I get a text from him. It pops up and he goes, he goes, you didn't need to give me that attitude. The fact that he didn't even like that, he just thought that was me giving him attitude.

Oh, my God. Anyway, I don't know if that was that funny, but that was my weird. Sorry. I just had to share. I like it. I really like it. That was great. Well, let's see. What story can I start off with that kind of you teed me up for? Because I got tabs on tabs. This guy. It could be.

You know, in some people's world, be considered having an attitude. In others, he's a bit unhinged. Chaotic. Original chaos. We're back at it. So here we go. This is coming from AITAH. It is 23 hours old. Titled, Emma the Asshole for Embarrassing My Fiance at Dinner After He Joked About My Upbringing.

Hi Reddit, I'm Andrea, 28 female. I'm originally from Colombia, but have been living in the U.S. for about 10 years. My fiancé, David, 30 male, and I have been together for three years, engaged for six months, and until now, I thought we were on the same page about respecting each other's background.

For context, I grew up in a small town in Colombia, and while we didn't have much money, my parents worked tirelessly to provide for my siblings and me. I'm incredibly proud of where I came from. It shaped me into the strong, resourceful person I am today.

Recently, David and I went out to dinner with his friends, a group of mostly professionals in their late 20s, early 30s. These are people I've met a handful of times, and while they've always been polite, I've sometimes felt out of place because of the subtle comments they make about my accent or my exotic background. I usually brush it off, but this dinner was different.

During the meal, one of David's friends was sharing a story about their recent trip to Europe, talking about authentic experiences and local food. Out of nowhere, David, my fiancé, chimed in with, quote, Well, Andrea doesn't need to travel for authentic experiences. She grew up eating off banana leaves in the jungle. Right, babe? The table erupted in laughter.

Ooh, got him. Yeah.

David turned bright red and mumbled something about just joking, but the vibe for the rest of the evening was noticeably tense. When we got home, David was furious. He said I embarrassed him. Oh, please. In front of his friends. And that I, quote, blew a harmless joke way out of proportion.

I told him that his comment wasn't harmless. It was condescending and made me feel like I was the butt of a joke in front of people who already saw me as different. He's been cold ever since, accusing me of being too sensitive and saying I should have just laughed it off. I feel like I stood up for myself in a respectful way, but now I'm questioning if I should have handled it differently.

So Reddit, am I the asshole for calling out my fiance at dinner? No, she's not being the asshole. I think that was a really great response. And if he's willing to say stuff like that to her in front of a group of people, then he should be able to expect to take it right back. Yeah. Like you could dish it. Yeah. But when you get a little chirp back, you can't take it. Right. Exactly. And that's annoying. And I think that...

In that moment, he should have said, I'm sorry. I was just I was just joking. I didn't mean to offend. Like, I, you know, love you. Like, we can talk about this later. Yeah. And then go about the night. And then when he gets home, he says, hey, like, I really thought you would laugh. I had no idea. Like, was that too far? Like, talk to me about your feelings. I'm so sorry. Yeah. But instead, he's like, you embarrassed me. And that's annoying. You embarrassed me first. Yeah, exactly. Like, what?

What was the point of that comment? You made you singled me out. You also sound a little racist. I don't know. I don't know how that comment was supposed to be funny, like pointing it out like, oh, yeah, she grew up in the jungle eating off banana leaves. Like what? Also, you know, your fiance's background likely. Yeah. No, it's not true. So why are you why are you making her a joke? Right. If not.

To embarrass her. And that's why if they had that relationship, because sometimes people have relationships where they do joke like that with each other. And if that was the relationship, then that would have been known in that moment. But clearly he knew that was not the relationship dynamic between them. And it makes it seem like it's something that he and his friends joke about behind her back. And so he was trying to make appease them instead of looking out for her. And that's 100% what it was. He made it.

For everyone else's benefit. Yeah. It was, let me poke fun at this person. She's an easy target. She loves me. This is my fiance, whatever. In order to look like the big funny guy for everyone else. It was totally to appease them. And the fact that OP already feels like a bit of an outsider. Mm-hmm.

Like, what does she say here? I've sometimes felt out of place because of the subtle comments they make about my accent or my exotic background.

Like, she's already feeling uncomfortable with the dynamic and maybe being the only, you know, brown or, you know, person of color there. And it's like, you literally, you just singled her out even more. Like, it's just tacky. It's like, do you even love her? If you're going to belittle someone like this, do you love her? Like, I don't, I mean, I, that...

I wouldn't make like jump. You wouldn't go that far? Yeah, I wouldn't go that far because I mean, what it reminds me of honestly is when I was little and my sibling would do that to me. Like I know that he still loved me, loves me, but I was an easy target for him to make fun of to get laughs from his friends. And he liked feeling funny and impressive in front of his friends. And so he would find a way to make me the butt of the joke. And, and,

It didn't feel good, but I knew that he was just trying to be cool. And so, and I knew that it wasn't like he didn't love me. He just hated me. No, I'm kidding. Yeah.

Sometimes it feels like that when you're a kid, though. Oh, my. No, my brother actually did hate me. And he didn't like me until I went to college. Matt, I feel like he said that. He has openly admitted it. I came in and I fucked up his perfect only child life. That's so funny. I...

We were at war, dude. I wonder how many other people think that way. Because how big of an age gap are you guys again? Eight years. Okay. So yeah, he was kind of at that age where- It's a decent chunk. It can be like a hit or miss. They're like, the kids are old enough to kind of know what's going on. Yep. Yeah. So sorry about that, Morgan. It's okay. Fuck you, Matt. No, I'm just kidding. We're good now. But top comment on this one.

With 4K upvotes about... So it's okay for him to humiliate you, but not for you to defend yourself? That's the thing. She didn't even make a joke on him. She was literally just standing up for herself. That's not embarrassing him.

I honestly, I think she could have gone harder. Oh, yeah. I think her comment was like very respectful, tasteful. But it was like a sub, like it could go over. It was a sub jab. And it could go over some people's heads. Actually, David, I grew up in a small town, not the jungle. And while we didn't eat off banana leaves, we did learn how to respect people's cultures, which you seem to have missed. I love it. You said that like Alexis from Schitt's Creek. I love her. Actually did. Danny Murphy, I love you.

Actually, David. Actually, David. Ew, David. Yeah. So, I mean, it was very pointed, right? It got the point across. Like, you're being disrespectful. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

That's it? Yeah. The comic goes on to say,

Because he doesn't sound like he cares much about how you were feeling or what position he put you in. Are there any other red flags you've been letting go? Not the asshole. Bada boom, bada bang. Oh, speaking of beep beep bops, you know that new Kendrick Lamar song? Yeah. Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. I'm obsessed. I obviously don't know exactly the right song, but I've watched a few TikToks.

And I said that to my boyfriend. I'm like, do you know that new song? And I said it like that. And he looked at me and rolled his eyes and he's like, yeah, sure. He thought that that's just how I heard Kendrick Lamar. No, it's a bop. I'm like, no, it's an actual song. I played it for him. I know. And did you see the one, the remix I sent you where it goes bing bop boom bing bing bop. That's why I showed that to him. Fly like paper, get high like. I was like, this is a vibe. So I think OP might have responded to that.

Because the comment after is deleted and the account's deleted now, too. Hmm.

But someone replies back to it and goes, no man that loves slash values you will expect you to make yourself smaller for his ego. Oh, yeah. I mean, in a romantic relationship. Yeah, that's that's a big red flag. So I'm so curious what Opie responded to because that that has to have been Opie. Yeah. And then the next comment down 100 percent. He wants her to feel smaller so he can feel bigger.

Also, any man who really cares about you will feel bad about hurting your feelings and will apologize for saying stupid shit. The fact that he's doubling down just shows what an ass he is. Right.

And next comment down, as a Latina married to an American, I can tell you my husband would be the first to defend me from someone saying racist crap like that. Yeah. That is nasty. Yeah. And then a bunch of people just kind of like continue on that thread. Like same here, Latina, Mexican, married to a white man. There's no way he would make hurtful jokes about me or my hometown. If anything, he praises my culture and is always educating people if they have misconceptions about it. Right.

Right. Yeah. And I OK, I said I wouldn't go as far as saying that he doesn't love her. We don't know that like big assumption. But I feel confident in assuming that he doesn't respect her.

I can see that. And what is a romantic relationship? What is any relationship if you don't have respect? God, you could have been on Father Knows. Why? We did an episode and the only word that came out of my mouth was like, he doesn't respect her. He doesn't respect her. Maybe it's your time, Lauren. You ready to do a celeb appearance? Yeah. I want to do my own Father Knows and be the host. You can have...

Girl, take it. Take an episode or two or ten. No, I mean, like, I don't know if you remember me saying this, but I was like, I'm going to make my own podcast one day and have it be called Lauren Knows More Than Jerry. He would feel attacked. It would be to attack him. Just kidding. Okay. Well...

Account has been suspended. Maybe OP will create a new account to give us an update, but I think it's very clear based on the comments, not the asshole. Moving along, moving along. Number two, baby. This is four months old. Also coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for pouring my boyfriend's raw milk down the drain because I found out it's dangerous?

Raw milk. Unpasteurized milk. Have you heard people on that trend? No. It's a thing. So I recently found out that my boyfriend has been buying and drinking raw, unpasteurized milk. He grew up on a farm and apparently his family always drinks it straight from the cow. And he's been doing the same ever since we moved in together.

At first, I didn't think much of it. Being a vegan, I never drank it myself. But I started doing some research after I saw the label on it literally says, quote, not for human consumption.

Apparently, raw milk can carry harmful bacteria like salmonella, E. coli, and listeria. I freaked out when I read that. I don't want him to get sick or expose me to something dangerous. So when I saw a fresh bottle of raw milk in our fridge yesterday, I panicked and poured the entire bottle down the drain. I thought it was the safest thing to do.

When my boyfriend got home, he immediately noticed and was pissed. He said he spent a lot of money on that milk and that he's been drinking it for years without a problem. He accused me of not trusting him and said I had no right to throw away something he enjoys just because I disagree with it. I tried explaining that I was just concerned for his health and ours, but he said I was being a control freak.

Now he's barely talking to me, and I feel like there's this huge distance between us. Am I the asshole for pouring out the milk? I thought I was doing the right thing, but I'm starting to wonder if I overstepped. Yeah, I would say so. Because if my partner did that to me, I would be...

Really annoyed because, OK, I like that you're concerned about safety and health. That's a great quality. I'm really happy you have that. You're looking out for your partner. That's wonderful. But you need to have the conversation before you just take their stuff and destroy it. You know, it's just that's the right thing to do. Yeah, this is giving it's giving the same vibe as a story we read a while ago. I think it was on the Olivia O'Brien episode, but it was about this guy who collected exotic yogurt.

Oh, very cool. And he had this one. He had this one yogurt from Iran and it was like illegal to have. And so she threw it out.

So it's like, it's kind of the same vibe, though. It's like, why was it legal? I need to know. I have no idea. Listening back to that episode. I have no idea. I actually really like her songs. So I really, I can't believe I didn't listen to that episode. Oh, my God. We just saw her at like a Spotify party, too. I know. I was like, hi. Hi. But I get where she's at because I don't know where you all are going to fall. We might have some raw milk drinkers out there.

But there is a lot of like debate on drinking raw milk right now. And like, it's good for you. No, it's not. It can kill you. And I literally like everything in this world these days. I know. And I debate on what's healthy, what's not. And overall, yeah, raw milk, you shouldn't drink it. It's not meant for human consumption. Like you haven't heard of this trend. So, oh, my God, it's like all the

It's bad. It's a bad trend. You guys, we discovered that our For You pages are like so different. Yeah. Yeah. Very different. Very. Yeah. But don't drink raw milk.

It literally it's it's actually it is dangerous. The bird flu is really spreading around back right now. Yeah. Eggs. Eggs are hard to get these days. They're finding the bird flu has gone from like just simple birds to now like it's being found in cows. Oh. And so you know what you can find in raw milk? Bird flu. Yeah. So don't drink raw milk.

Cook that shit. Or whatever you do. Pasteurize it? Yeah. Okay. There's a process. They heat it up. Oh. I don't know the process of milk. I also don't drink milk. I don't either. Yeah. Oat milk, girly. Here. Yeah. I love an oat milk. But I also...

yeah, she was, you know, kind of disrespectful about it. She should have had a conversation. Maybe they both, you know, go on Google and learn some stuff. But I did find this comment from him really funny. His family always drink it straight from the cow. And as I read that, I was just envisioning him under the cow. Oh, 100%. We are all envisioning that. Also, that motion I just did. Oh,

Oh, I wasn't even thinking the hands. I'm thinking their mouth is on it. Oh, sucking it like a bottle? Yes. That poor cow. The whole family underneath the cow just together. Damn. Family night. Those poor cows. Just being violated. Oh my gosh. Yeah. No, it's funny. I really don't drink milk anymore. And it's not... I've never really had an active thought about it. Like what they say about you move to California and you start getting almond milk and like oat milk. It's...

Not a lie. It's just kind of forced upon you. It happens without even your consent. Oat milk latte this, almond matcha that. Anyway. I love an alternative milk. Me too. I think it tastes better. I do too. It's so sweet. So good.

There's a farmer's market in Hollywood. If anyone ever visits LA, there's a really amazing farmer's market in Hollywood off of Selma and... Selmanella. Selmanella. No, it's Selma, S-E-L-M-A. Off of Selma and Nella. And Coanga. Coanga. And it's the best farmer's market there is. And there's this guy who has cinnamon almond milk. Ooh.

Best milk I've ever had in my life. Justin's mom is making her own almond milk now. I think a lot of people are. There was like a TikTok shop trend where people bought that milker. Our friend Sarah used to do it all the time. I don't know if you knew that. She's just such a good little homemaker. She really is. She makes the best little salads. She's just such a good cook. I know. And still just a little badass in the corporate world. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's see what the comments say. What do you think the overall vote on this one is? Um...

You're the asshole, right? Overall vote was asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Top comment.

you're the asshole yeah you panicked and poured it down the drain what was it going to do to you i know right you could have left it in the fridge and then told him you had a concern yeah you should have discussed it like a normal person instead of reacting to a bottle of milk as if it was about to mug you 38k i'm picturing it as like a bomb that she's like or like a hot potato she's like throwing it back and forth until she gets in the sink and yeah that's

That's my vision. I know. I wonder if in her head she was like, oh, it contains like potentially salmonella and E. coli and listeria. Oh, my God. It's in our fridge. What if it contaminates the rest of our food? Maybe. I mean, it's like some people do have those type of thought processes and like kind of hypochondriac type of nisses. I don't know what I'm saying. So that that could very well be it.

Yeah, I'm curious. There's a lot of comments after that making jokes. Someone goes, this is what got me panicked by an inanimate bottle of milk. Someone replies to that and goes, I had a flatmate once told me he was intimidated by tofu. Hmm.

Tofu is probably the least intimidating food I can think of. Yeah. Next comment down. I have to politely disagree. I once ate tofu thinking it was chicken. I'm not against tofu, but when you're expecting a different texture, that'll really startle you. I would feel like it's the, I don't know that I've had that. I've had that same experience. I get that experience, but I feel like tofu, it tastes like nothing.

dude, it's just a piece of nothingness. No, but it's... Unless it's flavored. Sometimes you get a bad tofu and it's like, it feels like old jello that you can't like bite into. Whoa. Like I... Don't ruin it for us. Well, you know that there's a tofu recipe I want to try where they put it in like a blender and add a bunch of like everything but bagels, seasoning or whatever. Like it looks really good. But one time, there's this like chain here in LA and I should have known. I think it's called Veggie Grill. And so everything's

Vegetarian? Well, guess what? They had a chicken wrap. And I ordered the chicken wrap. It wasn't chicken. Yeah. Well, why call something chicken if it's not chicken? It probably had quotes around it. I don't know if it did. That's what they usually do. I'm looking it up. I'm waiting. I'm so curious. No. What? Let me see. No. So, buffalo blitz wrap. Crispy buffalo chicken. Oh, because they have it chicken. That's not chicken. That's chicken. Chicken.

How was I supposed to know? It looks like chicken to me. No, that's the vegetarian way. It's like a specific type of like chicken.

It's tofu that they call chicken. Yeah. They take out the middle part and just add like a little dash and an N. Yeah, that should be illegal. That honestly should be illegal. I didn't eat any of it. I took a bite and I was like, something's wrong with this chicken. He threw it away. It's not chicken. It's chicken. I didn't have any money at that time. I was in grad school. Oh my God. It was so bad. You're like crying over it. It was disgusting.

No offense to people that eat tofu chicken. I like tofu. I just haven't had it in a long time. Well, if you can cook tofu right, there's a difference between that and chicken. Chicken. Whatever the fuck it was. Weird. But okay, moving along.

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please support our show and tell them we sent you. This month of love, elevate your love life with Via. I'm very curious what your thoughts are on this next one we have. It is coming from Relationship Advice. Two months old.

It is titled, The guy, 22 male, that I, 21 female, am dating is learning ASL for my brother, but my friends think it's creepy. How do I proceed with this? Why would they think it's creepy? That's a good question, Lauren. Throw away because my regular account has some personal info. Also, fake names used.

I met John in a college class last semester. He's an overall great guy, and he's very respectful and kind. He also has a great sense of humor, and we have a lot of similar interests. We've been friends since then, and we've started dating this July. He's the first person I've ever dated in my life. Last September, he met my family when I visited home for my brother's birthday.

My brother, Trev, 19 male, has been deaf since birth, so my whole family communicates with him either through sign language, Trev's lip reading, but we still just sign as a reflex, or through text. During our small celebration at home, it was clear that my parents liked John. He was very charming and funny and respectful. He even tried to connect with Trev by typing some of his jokes for Trev to read, although my brother could lip read as well.

Whenever John would tell a story, either I or my parents would sign for Trev. My parents said that they're happy that I found a sweet and caring guy in John. Of course, I'm glad to hear this.

Before we went back, John and Trev had a quick Call of Duty gaming session. For someone with Trev's condition, he is a really talkative guy. LOL. He's very expressive and likes to communicate a lot, especially when gaming. Of course, he couldn't outright trash talk, but he does the closest thing with his hands. So there we were at Trev's room with John and Trev playing while I was translating for them.

I was laughing way too hard because Trev was trying his best to trash talk John, like saying he's weak and trying to say all these expletives, but I'm trying my best to tone it down for John. Meanwhile, I'm also translating John's instructions and strategies for Trev. Also, because this was the first time John met my family, he was saying all of these praises to Trev like, good job, or we can do it better next time.

Although I know that deep inside, he also wants to trash talk my brother. The two of them got along pretty well, and they've been having some online gaming sessions since then. Two weeks ago, John visited home along with me again for my mom's birthday. There, he surprised everyone, including me, by communicating with Trev through ASL. Don't you do it.

John was still at the alphabets, some basic words, and some rehearsed phrases, but we all delighted that he even made the effort. Trev's face lit up, and I've never seen him happier having a new long-term friend with low communication barriers. Apparently, John had been watching some YouTube tutorials and got a free subscription to Skillshare to learn ASL. Marry this guy.

The two of them had a gaming session again, and this time, John and Trev could communicate more directly. Of course, it was still kind of slow, and I still had to do some translating. Imagine trying to baby talk to a grown man or talking to a caveman with choppy sentences, lol. But I could tell Trev was having a great time. They also got more comfortable with each other with more explicit trash talking, which I didn't tone down this time.

John has been religiously learning ASL since then, and he's making a lot of progress. I was so happy with this, so I told my close friend group from high school. However, most of my friends, especially my closest guy friend, told me that what John was doing was a red flag because it could be a form of obsession and emotional manipulation.

He said it was creepy because John's becoming too attached to my family when we've only been dating about five months. He also said that John might only be doing it so he could get laid or something. It's been five months. Like, it's not like it's been one day. And even if it was one day, like, that's still really thoughtful.

I know there's some validity to what my friends said, but I'm not really convinced. John has been a wonderful and sincere guy the entire time, and I know it's naive to say this because he's my first ever relationship, but I can see this becoming long-term. Yes, we haven't hooked up yet because I told him I wasn't ready yet, and he's never pressured me to do it.

However, is his behavior something I should really be concerned about? Again, I don't have any experience with dating and relationships, so I don't know if this is something that's truly concerning. My friends are pushing me to break up with John, but I'm not sure. How do I proceed with this? I feel like I'm missing something because they want you to break up with him because he's trying to communicate with your brother. Yeah.

I feel like they're sabotaging her. Yeah. Like the guy friend who's like, this is creepy. Is he in love with her? Like must be. Or just like they don't want her to have a relationship at all so they can be all available together. Yeah. They want their friend back kind of thing. Like I it's I unless there's some other type of red flag where they're just tying this into it.

But otherwise, I'm not understanding it because I to me, if I was dating a guy and we weren't intimate for five months and he respected me for that and he respected that he met my family and then he did his best to communicate with my family member and tried to teach himself, push himself to learn something new.

to make things easier and more fun for all of us when we're together. Yeah. That's like the greenest flag of all time to me. So unless I'm missing something, I don't understand. No, I'm completely perplexed. I think they're either jealous or he likes her or it's some...

hidden agenda because this is very thoughtful and for someone like you've never been in a relationship so this is why I think she's like wait like yeah my friends are kind of convincing me like I'm not so convinced though like this is odd like should I be worried like this person is like lacks the experience to kind of like have that own

you know, thought herself to be like, no, this is sweet. This is just a kind thing. Well, and the fact that they're saying break up with him instead of being like, you need to have a conversation with him and tell him to like, you need to set some boundaries. Then I would be a little, maybe I'd be like, okay, maybe we're missing something. Maybe there's something else he's doing, but it makes it to break up, be like, wait, he's learning sign language, break up with him. That feels like they're just being selfish. I was just, yeah. Yeah.

I really don't understand it. And I'm wondering if there's something we're missing, but also if we just look at the facts that we have, she's 21, he's 22, her first relationship, unsure if it's his, but they've been dating now for five months.

She's felt no pressure to do anything sexually. Like, I think that is also such a green flag. Yeah, exactly. He's so respectful. I think this is just genuinely a good guy who's like, I want to connect with my girlfriend's family. I can't imagine, like, if I dated someone who his family was Hispanic and he spoke Spanish and I never took the time to learn it.

I think that's so disrespectful. Like if you're choosing to be with someone that has like a different culture than you or like you should participate in that in some way. And that's kind of what this is. Like her family speaks sign language because of the brother being deaf.

And it's like, if he wants to be with this girl long time, he's got to learn it eventually. So why not just start making the initiative now? I think it actually demonstrates that he's not just trying to fuck you or take advantage of you and leave. He's in it for the long haul. Also, what a funny thing, too. Like after five months, he starts learning sign language and you're like, oh, he wants to get in your pants. It's like,

I think he would have moved on by now and try to like get with some... I don't know. I just... It's been five months. And...

No, if if they're a good person, they are not going to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. Yeah. The fact it's been five months, there's no pressure. There's no pushing. It's like and that's the bar. Well, and that's in hell. But like it is a good sign. Yeah. No, it's I think it's awesome. I mean, I'm just thinking it's such a funny thing to say because it's like.

Guys literally will go and take a girl out to dinner and expect to hook up with them because I bought you dinner. Like, you know, you see stories like that. And so for them to be like, oh my God, five months and he's learning sign language. Five months is a decent amount of time to be dating. Oh my God. Literally, like five months is a good amount of time to be dating someone. Like that's not just, it's not 30 days. Yeah. If he started learning sign language after the first date, I'd be like, okay, well, like see if you like the girl first. Yeah.

I mean, it's I want to learn it. I want to learn it myself. But like, it's still, you know, I still wouldn't think it was a red flag because I'd be like, oh, like that shows how much like you are interested in learning something. It's not like a secret code language for her brother and him. It's a language.

Yeah. That would be really cool to push yourself to learn. So it's like if he did, if he was like, oh, that inspires me to want to learn it. That's so cool. You know, then I still don't even think that I would be red flagged out by that. You don't think there's any circumstance where it could be love bombing? No.

Like that big grand gesture, like I was really too soon, too fast. Right. Like, and I was thinking about that, like, and that's why I'm like, if, if there was other things accompanying that, because like, I know I, you know, I have a friend who, when she was younger, a guy was dating her for like a week or just something not very long and literally told her that he loves her more than his, her family. And like,

What? Yes. I literally was... I was sending a text to a friend. I heard that. I'm like, what? Yeah. And so you love me more than your family? Yeah. And like... And he... That's scary, actually. Right? That's what I thought. But like he, I don't know, was trying to be romantic or something. Like, I don't know what...

That was wild to me. And so if it was something like a guy saying crazy stuff like that and then saying, I'm going to learn sign language, then that would feel like love bombing. But if it was just like if I went on a date with a guy and this was the situation and if he said to me, oh, my gosh, you know, sign language, that's so cool. I would love to learn. That would not give me a red flag.

It just wouldn't. Like if there was something else accompanying it, then different story. But that alone, I don't feel concerned about that. I'm really curious if the comments are concerned about it. Yeah, I am too. I will just say I just tried texting my friend Noelle and her notifications are silenced right now. She's probably asleep. But Noelle is a CODA. So she's a child of deaf adults and she's fluent in sign language. Her whole family is.

And she got married a couple of years ago now. And at her wedding, her husband now, but you know what? Whatever. Whatever.

I'm like, well, technically, I don't know. But her husband signed his like speech that he gave. And so it was just really cool to like Spencer obviously really loves Noelle and like went above and beyond to learn ASL so that he could communicate with her family. That's beautiful. And it was it was so it was so amazing to see. And

I loved, too. They had a sign language interpreter at their wedding that signed all the speech. It was just it was so cool. It was really special. And her family was so sweet. And I learned some signs that night. Oh, but I won't be sharing them because they're a little inappropriate. But yeah, let's get into the comments. That's going to be inappropriate. Do you know what you talk about on this podcast? It was a naughty sign. I mean, naughty.

So comments, okay? Top comment. Your friends are thieves of joy. A guy that likes you is going out of his way to learn how to communicate with your brother. That's adorable. Don't let your friends, air quotes, shit on it. Sorry, just the quotes over friends. And I was like, no, there's quotes over chicken. There's no quotes over chicken.

Next comment down. They're also angry that he's making them look bad. You have close friends you've known for years, and they've never made an effort to learn some ASL to talk to your brother. Nice friends. Yeah. Ooh. That is interesting. If they've been friends since high school, they've likely interacted. They likely were in the same school. That is goofy.

Next comment after that. This is it 100%. This isn't very different than a traveler spending time to learn some basic phrases before they head to a country. It's considered considerate. Job is a considerate person. Job? We said it at the same time. His name is John. John is a considerate person. I literally have met someone named Yob, but it's spelled Job.

So that's what I was kind of like, wait, who's Yob? Is it Jesus? Is it Jesus? You know, Yob. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Next comment. This is a great example. OP's family is bilingual. Bilingual. And John is learning the other language they use at home. Weird.

We are quickly unraveling. Quickly. It's like it's our first rodeo. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Well, I should have a disclosure, you guys. I've had really bad sleep the past two nights. I haven't slept. And so I've been having a hard time forming my sentences. And so if you notice that, that's why.

When I get a lack of sleep, I have a hard time sometimes getting what's in my brain out of my mouth. Neurons aren't firing. I need to get a brain scan. I'm curious if I have a tumor in there. Oh, Morgan, why? Hypochondria. Okay. Well, you don't have. No, you're okay. Sometimes I slur my speech. Yeah, we all do. It's okay. I feel like I have trouble finding words. You are like one of the best speakers. Expressive aphasia. You have a podcast.

podcast. Yeah, well, there's a thing called editing, luckily. Yeah, but you're so fine. Okay. Okay. We do have a couple edits on this post.

Edit. Wait, whoa. I took a break to work on a paper and there are now 1k comments. I'll try to process everything, but thank you for your kind words, Reddit. Yes, John is a wonderful guy and has so far given me no reasons to doubt his sincerity. It's only my friends who planted the seeds in my mind since they've all had experiences with dating and relationships. So the pressure kind of got to me. Thanks for your insights.

Well, guess what? I think your friends have unfortunately dated people that don't like them. They don't know what it's like to be in a good, happy, healthy relationship is what I'm hearing. Edit number two.

I went to class and did a lot of schoolwork. Came back to this post with over 4K comments. Didn't expect this. I'll make sure to read everything. But so far, I'd like to thank everyone who weighed in on this. A lot of your insights have been truly eye-opening. And it really looks like I've gotten a lot of reflection to do with my relationships and connections. Again, thank you so much. Trying to see if we have any other comments from OPE.

Do have some insight about the friends. They don't really interact with my brother that much. Whenever they see him, it's mostly just a smile and polite wave. Then we do our own thing. OP's kind of replying to someone here, just hoping that John isn't learning it for the wrong reason. John absorbs knowledge like a sponge, and he's very excitable when he gets to learn new things. However, I'd like to believe that's not the only reason he learned ASL, and that he genuinely likes to connect with my brother.

I think it was in response to a comment being like, oh, yeah, whatever. Being negative. A lot of comments from OP. A lot of comments. But you know what? I'm not going to read them. Because I'm going to read the update. Ooh, okay. What were you going to say, though? I was just going to say, like, I just find it really frustrating when people do try to see the worst in OP.

Like jumping to the negative versus being hopeful and like looking at it from a positive? It's like, I don't know. I just, well, let's go with like donating. So we'll have like some, a billionaire pop star donate money to some cause and people will be like, oh, that's a drop in the bucket to you, even though it's millions of dollars. And then they say all these negative things and then they'll say something like,

Oh, they're only donating just because it makes them feel good. It's a selfish motive. You know, stuff like that. And...

Would you rather they don't donate millions of dollars at all? Yeah. And so that and that's the thing that's frustrating to me when people like to just try to pick people apart in the worst way. It's like, oh, OK, so what if they have more money than a couple million and they're donating a couple million? What are you donating? What are you doing? Is it is it more than a drop in the bucket for you? Like, does it make you feel good when you donate? Like, why? Why do you have to pick people apart? And so I just I think in this situation, yes, we're

You could wonder, is this guy doing it for the wrong reasons? But if he's giving you no other reason to think that he's sketchy, then why are you jumping to that conclusion? Why are you assuming that it's bad? It's so funny. It's like, you know that saying I always say here where it's like, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. But these people are being like, well, it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck. But God damn it, that's a dog. Yeah.

That's what they're doing. Oh, he's so kind. He's so nice. He's considerate. He's learning ASL to connect with my brother. You know what? He actually sounds like an axe murderer. You should break up. What? I know. Where's the logic? I know. It's so weird. Where's the logic? Update. Update, baby.

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I'm just going to hop right in. Update, baby. First off, I want to thank everyone who gave their insight in my original post. As I said, I'm very new to relationships, so reading insights other than my inner circles was very eye-opening. To begin, many Redditors said that my high school friends are conniving, untrustworthy, and ableist people who never bothered learning ASL despite knowing me for a long time. I take accountability for this. I'm not saying they're blameless, but it's not entirely their fault.

For some context, our family moved to the area when I was a senior in high school due to my dad's job. The friend group, two guys and two girls before I joined, was already tight when I came in. They then took me in after we got grouped together for a school project, and they've been with me since. We've been friends for about four years now.

They're not exactly saints, but they helped me survive my senior year in one piece. They are fun to hang out with, and they were the support I needed when I was struggling.

Also, during that time, my brother was having an especially hard time adjusting because of his disability, so my friends never really saw Trev a lot. To be clear, I was never ashamed of him. It's just that whenever my friends came over, he either locked himself in his room or was in a different area with his tutor and never really interacted with us. Whenever he does come out, he's really shy and awkward, so my friends mostly just get glimpses of him.

By the time Trev became more comfortable in our area and found his own circle, my friends and I had already graduated from high school and don't really hang out regularly anymore. They're friendly and polite with Trev, but then again, they never interacted as much to the point of them actually needing to learn ASL for him. Now on to the update.

Last week, my friend group had our year-ender party, and I decided to bring John along to meet the rest of my friends. My other friend in the group also brought his girlfriend, so this wasn't really weird. Others have done so in the past as well. I've commented in the previous post that John had only met my closest guy friend. I'll call him Mike, 21 male. So I wanted the rest of them to form their own opinions of John after they've met him.

Initially, there was some tension and awkwardness from my friend group towards John. They were a bit cold, and they were throwing some harsh remarks towards him. Eventually, though, they all warmed up to him, and they were actually pleasantly surprised by his personality. We all got along well, and we all even had fun in our games. However, I could tell that there was still awkward tension coming from Mike towards John and the rest of the group.

He was throwing meaner jokes more than usual, and he's kind of isolating himself from the activities. The day after the party, I had lunch with my closest girlfriend, Sophie, 21 female, to clear the air because I could tell that they also sensed something was off. A lot of Redditors speculated that Mike had a crush on me and was jealous of my relationship with John. Turns out, you are all 10,000% correct.

But it's a lot more complicated than that. Apparently, Mike has had a crush on me since our senior year high school. However, he's known in our school as a notorious ladies' man and had a new girl with him almost every month. This got exponentially worse during college. He had different hookups almost every night, and he even had a pregnancy scare with a girl last year. I knew about all of this because he bragged about sleeping around every time we meet up.

Is this Barney? Simpson? What I didn't know was that the entire time, Mike has been making up fake stories about me and him. Barney. It's Barney. Sorry, I just started watching How I Met Your Mother again. I'm literally rewatching it. Yeah, right now, me too. What the fuck, Lauren? And I'm like, this is literally him. Oh my God, I just watched the episode where he slept with girl number 200. Insane. Oh my God. And we just had episode 200.

Sophie told me that apparently Mike and I had a pact that if we were still both single when we were 30, we'd marry each other. Mike is crazy. I'm just going to say that right now before I read anything else. Mike is fucking nuts. Also, he told our friend group that we hooked up after graduation and that he took my virginity then. So he's my quote special person, whatever that means.

He's also told them that we'd been secretly hooking up consistently throughout college. What a freak. For context, Mike and I go to different universities that are just about 30 minutes apart. Lastly, Mike told them that I said I'm in love with him. He told our friends not to tell me anything so I don't get embarrassed or upset since I have this image of being somewhat of a prude. I would cut that guy out so quick.

Mike also told our friend group that when he met John, he thought that John is a total jerk who has also been manipulating me and taking advantage of my innocence and naivety. He said that John had been forcing himself into my family and is driving a wedge between me and my friends. Mike also said that after he had lunch with me and John, he tried to convince me to stay away from John because he's not a good influence on me. But John had effectively brainwashed me. Oh my God.

This explains why my friend group was already so antagonistic towards John when I told them about him. Wow. For the record, none of what Mike said was true. Yeah, clearly. Like, what a crazy person. There was no pact, we never hooked up, and I have NEVER, all caps, been in love with him.

After that, Sophie and I asked the rest of our friend group, except Mike, to jump on a FaceTime call with us. They all shared different versions of what Mike told them. There was a lot more. But I disputed everything. We were all collectively shocked about everything we learned that day. They apologized for their behavior towards me and John, and I told them I understood given all the lies fed to them by Mike.

Then everyone agreed to kick Mike off the friend group. Yeah, that is that's scary behavior. Sophie suggested that maybe we could have an intervention for Mike first. But I just said that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. The rest of the friend group agreed. So we're essentially cutting him off. Sophie said she would still talk to him just to inform him of everything that happened. But I really just wanted to distance myself from him.

Now it's been a week of being mic-free. Sophie said that when she and our other guy friend talked to Mike, he became extremely defensive, confrontational, and aggressive. He wasn't physically violent, but he called them names, attacked their characters, and made such awful statements about everything in our friend group that I won't include here anymore. It looks like cutting him off was completely the right call. Now for some more uplifting updates.

I need a second, though. I know, right? I'm like, if a guy even lied about kissing me, I would... I think that's happened, actually, like, in college. You've talked about it before. It's ringing a bell. Yeah, it's ringing a bell, but I don't know. I clearly, like, shut that out. But I would... I would... Oh, no. You do not lie about anything that you've done. Like, oh, no. If a guy lies about doing something physical with another girl...

That is my enemy. It's so disgusting. It's something I dealt with in high school and I didn't find out until like years later. But I dated a guy freshman year and he was a junior and we did hook up like I did lose my virginity to this person. But, you know, we dated for a year.

And broke up. And afterwards, he would tell people all these stories about me. Like, yeah, it was fucking Morgan upstairs when her mom was home. And, oh, I gave her a pink sock. And I'm just like, what a freak. Not true. One, I would never in high school, I would never have sex with my mom in the house.

lie number one yeah and then like you go on like also we dated like you were still trying to get with me up until like I graduated high school so why are you talking shit about me and I found out years later from a guy friend who was on the hockey team with him but it was like

That's not you just it sucks when people are talking about you, especially when it comes to being intimate. Oh, yeah. That's what I don't know. Exactly. And that's why I'm like, I have zero tolerance. Like a guy did that to one of my friends in high school. He she didn't touch him. Nothing wasn't even friends with him.

And he told everyone that he took her flower, I think, or like took her virginity, whatever he said. And we, oh my God, I was so angry. Like, I don't know what is wrong with somebody to feel that it's a good idea to lie about being intimate with somebody else. Like,

It's horrendous. Disturbing. Horrendous. And that's exactly what he did. And even said, like, I took her virginity, but don't say anything because she puts off like she's a prude. That's so messed up. Messed up. Can you fill me up? I need another. Yeah, girl. After this. Here you go, little doggy. DIY. Oh, okay. Do it yourself, bitch.

Now for some more uplifting updates. After reading everyone's comments in my previous post, there was a lot, I reflected on my relationship with John and my friends. I then talked to my parents for advice since they have the best relationship I know of. They told me that from what they saw of John when he visited our home and how I spoke of him, it seems like he is legitimately a nice person with pure intentions. I'm so glad that I'm able to talk to him.

It also helps that John and I have been friends for months before we started dating. So I already knew his character, even when there was less pretense of him trying to impress me. He's already impressive on his own though, lol. I then told John about everything that happened and apologized, fully expecting him to be mad at me for doubting him and his intentions. Instead, he said he understood because of course it was just natural for me to trust my friends and expect them to have my best interests.

He then asked me if there was any point in our relationship when I felt uncomfortable or uneasy around him, and I categorically said no. I told him that he's my safe space and he has nothing to worry about.

He then reassured me that his intentions with me are genuine, and he even said that he sees a future with me, which I reciprocated. Also, John and Trev's friendship is still going strong. Trev has participated in one of John's D&D sessions with his friends, and John and I both acted as translators. We were delighted to see that most of John's friends already knew ASL Alphabet.

Apparently, they had even included it in the lore of their D&D campaign. Also, Trev has been asking John some tips for working out and getting fit lately since they have the same body type, but John is more toned. One of his brothers is a fitness instructor. Also, I met John's family for the first time for their annual get-together. It was super fun.

There were games and contests. Also, I wasn't prepared for it, but apparently, since their mom is a theater performer and their dad is a music producer, it was their family tradition to have a talent showcase. Sounds like my nightmare. That's so cute for them. They gave me a pass this time, but they told me I should prepare something impressive for next year. LOL.

John and his brothers performed Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC in full Deadpool, Wolverine, and Captain America costumes. Aww. While his sisters and their husbands did Define Gravity from Wicked. Love. Their parents did a medley from The Sound of Music. It was a total blast. I felt their family's warm welcome, and they really treated me as one of their own. I could see where John got his good values and looks from, though I think I need to start taking voice and dance lessons to keep up with them. LOL.

So that's it for this update. My relationship with John is stronger than ever, and I finally know who my true friends are. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for your time. Happy New Year to us all. Aww. Love it. Beautiful. There is one last edit, though. Uh-oh. Oh, no.

I just had lunch with the rest of my friend group. We all compared notes about Mike's lies. Apparently, he concocted extreme fantasies about every one of us.

He has been stirring unnecessary drama for years and even caused the breakup of one of our other friends with her then boyfriend. Oh my gosh. Mike also told them that apparently I threatened to cut ties with our friend group if any of my secrets come out, which was why no one really confirmed anything with me. He also said I was having mental health issues because of it, but Mike said he's helping me out so there was no need for them to be concerned.

What a crazy person. Through the years, I could recall Sophie and our other friends checking up on me and making sure I'm okay without really referencing anything what Mike had said. Oh my gosh. Some of their statements didn't really make sense to me at the time, but I just chalked it off to college stress. Our other guy friend also made remarks about me and Mike.

But again, I just chalked it off to friendly teasing. Now everything is clear to everyone and we're all ready to move on from this. There's still a lot of processing to do, but at least we know the truth. Yeah, that is so scary. Wow. I just like I can't with people who lie like that, create stories, create false narratives like pathological liars. It's scary. Terrify me.

Terrify me. I don't even like when somebody tells a story about me in a different light. Like, their version. You know what I mean? It always has to be Lauren's version. Or, like, just an objective, like... Yeah. ...version. It's just, keep my name out of your mouth! It is hard because, like, everyone sees things from their own point of view. Like, they could be like, oh, and then Lauren said...

And when really I just said, hey, I really don't like that. It's how everyone interprets stuff. Yeah. Which is, yeah, it's tough. It's really tough. But I mean, this guy was...

Clearly going above and beyond to stir the pot, break people up, lie, manipulate. He's also probably an addict, too. He gets off on it in some way. Yeah. Well, and like the fact that he's been having like a new girl around each month and like continued that into college, too. And then is having fantasies about all the friend group like that to me feels like there's like some like like a sex addict. Yeah. Yeah.

I wonder if he was lying, though. I wonder if he's hooking up with anyone or if it was all a lie. That's true. He's bringing a new girl around each time, but it's just a friend. Or it's just a lie. Like, oh, yeah, I fucked that girl last weekend. I was picturing him like bringing a friend or like a girl to the friend group. But yeah, it could just you're right. Could just be a lie, which that could just be.

A combination of things. Just who knows? Some screws are definitely loose with Mike there. Top comment on the update, which I just find funny. They quote OP. Then everyone agreed to kick Mike off the friend group. And they go, I believe this is called a mic drop. Ha! Oh my gosh. I have happy news to report that my friend, Miss Noelle, did get back to me. Ooh.

So I asked, how soon did Spencer start learning sign language? They're now married. Hi. I think it was around six months into our relationship. Look at that! Did Noelle write this? No, I'm kidding. I'm just like...

months is not weird. Five months, six months. Yeah. It's literally like the exact same time, basically. It's so. Oh, it's just meant to be. Yeah. Noelle and Spencer happily married. You know, this gal and John soon to be. Did you tell her that you're reading this? I did. I'm gonna have to send her the story so she can be like, I literally I just there was no lead up. I was like, hi, I have a phone a friend question. And then how long did it take for Spencer?

And then she replied. And she recently had a little baby. And I just asked, like, have you started teaching her sign language already? And the answer is also yes. Yeah. A lot of people are doing that now, which is so smart. It's amazing. Babies actually can learn sign language faster than they can begin to speak. Yeah. So if you watch videos of babies who get signed from the jump, they're

there's like a one-year-old fully fucking talking in sentences versus like... So cool. Maybe not one, but like, you know what I mean? Like it's a little thing and it's just like babbling away. Yeah. Well, it's so smart too because it's like, it's so frustrating for both parent and child, I imagine, to not be able to communicate with each other. So the faster that you can communicate with each other...

that's amazing like I remember when I was little I was like yelling to my dad and I was like I want sips and he's like you want chips you want sips of something oh my god like he couldn't figure out what I was saying I don't even know what I was saying dude I had that experience with a kid like recently I think it was my little nephew Emmett and he gets so pissed kids get mad when they can't express themselves it's frustrating and it is frustrating he's saying like something I'm like

Chips, sips, dips, mitts. Like, I have no idea. And he just rolls his little eyes at me like, oh, my gosh. He's got a vicious eye roll. Oh, no. I think I told you guys this on the podcast before, but, like, when I was little, I'd be like, look at that cow. And I was pointing to a car. And my siblings would mess with me, and they'd be like, what cow? There's no cow anywhere here. And I'd be like, no, it's a cow.

The wet cow. Because I couldn't say my R's when I was little. At all. It's okay, Lauren. That was my name. It's okay. I couldn't say pancakes. I said pan-pakes. Can I get some pan-pakes? That's cute. I couldn't say tongue for the longest time. Sounds like a diaper brand. Pan-pakes? Yeah.

And whenever I would say tongue, people would make fun of me. They're so mean, especially on the bus. They'd be like, Morgan, say tongue. And I'd be like, tongue. Tongue. So sad. Be nice to kids with speech impediments, okay? Impediments. You said that so. I loved it. Crispy. Yes, crispy. I know. Okay, moving along.

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It is titled, I, 26 male, lost the trust of my fiance, 25 female, after she confessed something really shocking to me in bed. How do I move forward from this?

So it's the morning hours where I'm from. Woke up to some quality time, sex, with my fiance before we start our day. After everything, we had come to an end. We laid down cuddling and one thing led to another. And she was telling me something along the lines of, if I ever left her, she would make sure the other woman had to work really hard to keep me. Parentheses, something along the lines of breaking my manhood.

which was unusual and funny. But I guess when the sex is that good, you tend to get a little crazy. So I don't know how the conversation came up. But she then said, I have a confession to make. And I'm just like, okay, while I had a smile on my face. That's when she said, and I quote, we had a fight, non-physical. It was to the point that I was so frustrated that when I went to make you dinner, I snuck something into your tea that makes you sleep.

and I was watching you fight that sleep. Your eyes were so red and when you did actually go to sleep, I sat down and watched you as I contemplated what to do about us and so many thoughts were going through my mind while I watched you sleep for like a few hours and eventually I just got tired and went to bed."

The fear in my eyes was real as I just listened to my fiance admitting to being a fucking psychopath and to drugging me while she contemplated on a way forward. Wow. I know for a fact I don't trust this woman anymore. No. And now I'm even more scared to sleep with her or to eat from her all because we had an argument over her not doing what's right.

We haven't spoken for an entire day after that confession, even after she's made several attempts to talk. I'm afraid to even go to my friends, knowing they'll just laugh and say it's probably nothing, bro, and tell me to relax. Please help. Run. Holy shit. I can't believe she confessed that. Well, I want... Sounds bad. Can't believe she confessed. First, I can't believe she did it.

But to just like, yeah, oh my God, we just fucked and we're laying there and that like post sex, like hi, you know, like that happy feel good. You just feel cuddly, lovey. Oh yeah, this one time I put something in your tea and then I watched you fight the tiredness. I want to know what she gave him.

Because I might want some. Just kidding. But we can't sleep. No. No. But like, I'm actually. Well, OK. If is it like NyQuil? Is it something a little bit more? Klonopin, Xanax. Like, was it a hard prescription drug or something you can get medicinally like some ashwagandha? Like, that's what I'm wondering. I'm like, was she trying to be playful? Like she put some NyQuil in so that he would fall asleep and stop arguing with her. And she was like, oh, it was funny. Yeah.

It's a little NyQuil, but the way he reads it makes it sound really psycho. Like it was like she went and like bought some drugs from like a drug dealer and was like, I'm going to. Well, and like, how did she know it would work?

And the way that she's like, I watched your eyes get red and I just watched you. That's creepy. I mean, wait, wait, wait. Let me rewind, first of all. It's never okay to put anything in anyone's drink ever. Okay, so I just want to make that very clear. This is so bad. No, it's so messed up. I'm just trying to understand the level of messed up it is. Okay, so I just want to make sure everyone knows that. Let's make that very clear. Well, I think to your point, though, if she went to like a dealer, like,

or something got like hard meds. Was there premeditation in this? Well, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, I want to know how scared he should be. Yeah. Like she planned this out and like, she's like, next time he pisses me off, I'm going to drug his ass. So he shuts up. Right. Or was this like, I've got a little extra, you know, of my sleeping pill. I'm going to put it in his tea. Is it like I'm drinking NyQuil. I'm going to put some in his too so that we just go to bed and like, and stop fighting. Or was it like,

Or it's like you she's actually you should change your address, change your phone number, like get plastic surgery, like you look like a different person kind of thing. Yeah. Like bad. This is bad. I want to be very clear. Bad. Bad. I would say the later like it feels like that. He definitely needs to call this off. This can be fiance no more.

I mean, for him to be like, I am scared to sleep with her and I don't want to eat from whatever she makes. But also even the comment before the confession, like if he ever left her, she would make sure the other women had to work really hard to keep me. Something along the lines of breaking my manhood. Oh my God. Yeah. I honestly forgot about that part in the mess. So she's threatening to like break his dick? She started with like a threat. Oh, this is scary. Yeah.

This is a woman that like she could be a killer. I mean, she what I was thinking as I'm hearing this story is Gone Girl. It's definitely giving Gone Girl like that cool girl that's like, oh, the veil is slipping a little bit. The mask is slipping.

And now she feels like she has him locked in. They're engaged. So now she can start. So now she starts to slowly introduce this side of her to him. Yeah. And I think this is just the beginning. I think she's testing the waters. And I think there's a lot more deep, dark, bad shit buried underneath.

Very scary. He's got to run. He's got to move on. Let's get some updates and comments. I want to hear what's going on. Top comment. How do I move forward from this? They like quote OP. By moving on from her. Next person down. Also, go straight to a hospital and get tested for drugs in your system. Get evidence to prosecute and get a restraining order. Mm hmm.

Next comment down, though. Sounds like it was a confession from a while back. He still should try, but doubtful anything would come up. Next comment. Who's to say she isn't slowly poisoning him? And on that note, let's go check OP's account. This is a month old. So we only have two comments from OP, both of which were from a month ago.

First comment. So as for an update.

We broke up and she went back to her parents. If she does come anywhere close to me, I will be reporting her and filing for a restraining order. It's just amazing that strangers could be of more help than the people you actually know and supposedly trust. Stay blessed, y'all.

Yeah. And well, I mean, also sometimes when people are so close, they don't see certain things. It's like you gotta, I've said this before, but I had a teacher who talked about the balcony and dance floor. I don't know if you call it theory or situation theory.

Where it's like you have to be on the dance floor, live your life, but you also have to take a break and go up onto the balcony to look over the dance floor and understand the situation and what's going on. And so I think sometimes when people are just in the dance floor, they are not seen from a bigger picture what's going on. It's a really good analogy. Yeah. I've never heard that one before.

I really like that. And it's so true. Like you need that bird's eye view from the balcony to really get the full picture. And you don't only want to stay in the balcony because you want to be present and in the moment. So it's kind of this like balance of. I really like that one. Yeah, that's good. I also think it's really good. He did come to Reddit because I like glance at his age again to 26 male.

And I could very easily see a lot of his guy friends being like, dude, whatever. Like, she's probably just kidding. She's hot. Shut up. Yeah, sex was good. Exactly. Why are you complaining, bro? Shut up. Like, no, I'm sorry. I don't mean to dumb you. No, no. We know guys aren't dumb. But I think a lot of guys out there are scared to emotionally connect with each other. Oh, yeah. Like, if you ask a group of guys, like, what do you guys talk about? Like,

Or like there's a great meme going around where it's like, you know, this guy comes back from hanging out with his friend and he goes to his girlfriend or wife or whatever and says, oh, yeah, you know, so and so broke up. And the girlfriend's like, what happened? I want all the info. They were so good. What? Yeah. And you're like, do you know why they broke up? And he's like, no.

You didn't ask? And it's like, it kind of just shows that guys don't have the emotional depth, typically, I would say, to the relationships in their lives like women have. And that makes me so sad. And I also think it really contributes to this loneliness epidemic and, you know, this downfall of men's mental health. Well, it's because it's been this societal norm for so long to be

a good or tough or cool thing to not talk about your feelings. And it's not helpful. It's not even fun. And...

It's fun crying together. Yeah, it's fun to talk about your feelings. Oh, my God. It really is. Yeah, but I just... So I have noticed that with a lot of guy friend groups where they don't really get in the weeds of things. And it's a combination. It's not just one or the other. It's like, I didn't tell them because they didn't ask. So if they wanted to know, they would ask me. You know what I mean? It's a vicious cycle. Yeah. Vicious cycle. And I don't know, if you're a guy listening, I...

I challenge you to check in on a friend, like get deep, like start asking questions. Hey dude, like even just start like, Hey dude, how are you doing good lately? Like you never know. And like the rate at which men are taking themselves out of this world is very concerning. And I think it's one of those points, like just check in with your people and it's, it's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to talk about your feelings. It's definitely okay to cry.

Like, be good. But I'm really glad he turned to Reddit and got the support he needed and is getting out. Me too. I was not expecting an update. Hell yeah. That really made me happy. I wasn't expecting anything, so I'm just along for the ride. That really made me happy. Okay, moving along.

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It is a day old coming from r slash relationship advice. It is titled, my boss slash best friend's only son passed last week. I'm pregnant with her son. Wow. Okay. So just to set the scene, OP is 29 female, her best friend, 45 female, and the son was 22 male.

I'm having mixed emotions in this whole situation. I feel like a traitor, like I stabbed her in the back for sleeping with her son. At the same time, I really cared about him and I loved him. I wanted a family with him. And we were seeing each other for about nine months already. I've known her for a little over two years and she helped me get on my feet.

I work for her business, and I now manage all the employees. I started off living in my car, and she gave me a place to stay while I made some money to find an apartment.

After that, she started giving me more work and even started giving me some work at her home. She trusts me completely, and I guess I broke that trust by seeing her son without her permission. I have mixed feelings because I did things the wrong way, but at the same time, I treated her son like a king, and I know he was happy with me before he left.

She has no idea about our relationship we had, and we were going to tell her, but life took a bad turn. I know he left before his time because he had so many great things coming, and now I have to raise our child with him absent. When is the right time for me to go and tell her the truth and that she's going to be a grandmother? I love her, and I don't want this to hurt her more. Oh my gosh. Oh,

This makes me feel so emotional because this is just such a unique situation, I guess. I just don't know the right time. I'm trying to picture if I were to be the mother and I'm having a really hard time doing that because, well, I'm not a mother and...

I don't have a son who just passed away at a young age. And so I'm like, I don't know when I would prefer to hear that. I don't know how I would react. I don't know how she will react. I don't know when, you know, and I think she's grieving right now. Is telling her this going to give her a feeling of hope or is it going to make her grieve even more? Is it better to say it right now? Is it better to wait? Like, I just I can't even imagine the emotions that OP is going through. I honestly don't.

I don't know. I don't know what to say. I know. And you just don't know. Like, we don't have a crystal ball. She doesn't have a crystal ball, hence the write-in. And it is really hard because it's like, in an ideal world,

She would be happy. Yeah. She would be just so like, I'm so glad this actually happened because now there's a piece of my son left on this earth. Right. And that's what I was thinking at first. But then I thought, well, I'm not, I don't know what that would be like to be in her situation. Yeah. So I don't know if you would actually think

Like that or not. I know. Well, and it's hard too because then she could be like, well, you betrayed me. Right. It's her best friend. Like, you lied. You went behind my back. And she might have a hard time with the age gap too. She might be like, you took advantage of... Because she sees her son as a baby. 22. And she probably sees her best friend as...

A more mature woman getting on her feet and establishing. Even though she is obviously older and the age gap is closer, but I still think that she probably sees this person as a peer, not someone who would be with her baby. Yeah. It's interesting, too, looking at the ages. Opie's 29.

friend is 45, son's 22. Right. She had him at like 23, 22, 23. So it's, it is interesting because I was like, well, she's, you know, not old enough to be her mom, but like, I would be sad and not, I don't know if I'd be sad, but it would feel weird if like

My friend was dating my son. Right. No matter what. And that's the thing is that like even I've been with friends where let's say we're like, I don't know, we're both like 23 and their baby brother's like 21. And he comes into the situation and hangs out with all of us and he flirts with me.

And my friend freaks out because it's like, that's my baby brother. Like, has it happened? I'm just I'm just trying to like say I don't not that specific situation. I'm just saying that, like, I've seen people freak out being like, that's my baby brother. I view him as so much younger. So it just doesn't I don't want my peers to be.

With my baby brother. Well, it's also one of those like, hey, don't shit where you eat thing. Like we're friends. If you then go after my brother and date my brother and it ends badly, like it's not fun for any of us. Right. I've always wanted one of my friends to date my brother. Really? Yeah. Well, and I'm not even I'm not even like talking about any type of like real story here. I'm just saying that like in general, I've just seen girls.

have a visceral reaction like friends have a of reaction to their baby brother who's not that big of an age difference freak out about their baby brother like mingling with any of their friends yeah and so there's yeah I've I've known people to be like that too so I just that's just what makes me like wonder how this mom is going to react in a moment like this when like

That's still her baby. And she's even though the age gap is, you know, it's a it's a bit of an age gap. But it's it's not the craziest age gap. But I still think that she's viewing her baby son and then she's viewing her as her peer. So I just I have no idea how she's going to react. Would you wait then? I guess given all of this, it sounds like this is very fresh, just developing stuff.

Would you wait until the baby is born? Would you give it at least a couple weeks? You know, we don't know. I don't think she mentioned how far along she is. But like, see, this is... How would you then initiate this conversation? This is where I'm having...

It was such a difficult time with this story where I really don't know what to say because imagine OP's situation. She loved him. She wanted to have a family with him. She's pregnant with his child and she just lost her child's father and someone who she saw a future with.

family with. So she also needs to take care of her own well-being and think about what's best for her. So it's such a complicated dynamic that I don't even know what to say about what is right in this. And so I'm actually like, I want to write into Reddit. I want to be like, help me answer this. I have no idea. Inception. Yeah. I know. And it's really sad for her because

Because no one knows, too. Yeah. So she's grieving alone. And everyone's probably like, why are you grieving your best friend's son so hard? And it's like, little do they all know. I was in love with him. The depth of their relationship. So I don't think that's necessarily fair for her either. But there's definitely a way to do this, right? I just don't know what it is. I think give it some time. Obviously, if she's like nine months pregnant. Yeah.

I think you don't have the luxury of time because grandma might want to be there at least waiting, you know, to meet grandchild. But if you're, you know, three months along, give it a couple weeks at least, maybe two months. And then once it's not so fresh, the wound is, you know, not searing. Like you can have a conversation to be like, hey, I know this is very intense and

I just want you to know I had been having a relationship with your son. And just, I don't know, like it's, I don't know how, like you dropped that bomb or like what wording you actually use, but you got to tell her. Yeah. Do we, is there anywhere in there that talks about how long it's been since son and partner passed? Let me look at comments from Opie. Yeah.

So we do get a little insight from OP's comments. There are a lot of comments. Also, scrolling down on the post, I've refreshed it now just to see if there's anything new. We do have some edits. So what order of events would you like me to get into? Do you want me to do the edits? Do you want me to go to top comment first and then go back to the edits and then dive deeper into her comments in case we're missing anything? I think we start with the top comment now, knowing there's a lot more to unpack here. Yes.

So top comment. I'm sorry for your loss and for hers and for your child who will grow up without its father. Her son was old enough to make his own life choices without his mom's permission. However, it is kind of messy to secretly date your boss's child. I would tell her that you lied to her about not knowing who the baby's father was because you were scared about her reaction and you need to apologize for that.

Tell her that you would be glad to give her some space and time to process and that you're hoping that she will eventually be excited to be a grandmother, even though it's a lot to process right now. Someone comments after that, I don't know why there is an expectation that the boss will be mad. One would think she'd be ecstatic.

We just don't know. I think that's the whole thing. Yeah, and that's what someone else says after. I would be mad if someone that I had given a job and considered a best friend in spite of a substantial age gap spent over a year dating my child in secret. And then he tragically died in an accident, told me that, hey, by the way, I'm pregnant with your child's only baby.

She may be happy eventually to know that some part of her baby boy is still out in the world, and she may forgive OP and keep her on staff and have a good friend-grandparent relationship with her and the baby. But in the short term, there's been a lot of deception. I didn't even think about the fact of, like, working together, too. I was just thinking about the friendship. Well, and I think it's hard because even in the title, she says boss... Slash best friend. Slash best friend. Boss comes first. Well...

I mean, that might just be semantics. But really, I feel like it's kind of telling because if I can, I don't know, for me, I'd be like my best friend slash boss because friendship comes first and foremost versus a job. But that's the way I'm kind of, and maybe that's like a subconscious thing and that's a tomato-tomato type of error or analysis. Yeah. But I think it's kind of like they have only known each other two years. Mm-hmm.

boss, first and foremost, then they became friends. Yeah. Yeah. So I also think it's interesting where, and I think a lot of people picked up on it in those comments where it's like, I didn't get permission to date her son. Well, technically you're both adults. And let's just say you would have asked her for permission and she would have said no. But

Would you guys have dated anyways? Because you liked each other that much? Yeah, because you're both consenting adults. And that's the thing, too, is that that's why I'm like, okay, I'm viewing it more less of like I dated my boss's son behind her back. And I'm viewing it more of like my best friend. Because like if I was dating your brother, Taylor, like and I was just like, by the way, Morgan, like,

I've been dating him for a year. I'd be like, what? No, you would be like, that's that's shady, Lauren. You'd be like, what the heck? I honestly I think I'd be more surprised. First and foremost, I'd be like, how did you both find the time?

You didn't let on at all. You did. But like it fucked up, Lauren. But yeah, you did. Right. You did a good job. Right. You did a good job. But but you would still be like, wait, but you're like my best friend. Like, why didn't you tell me? Yeah. For a whole year. How did you keep such a big thing from me? So that's more where I was thinking about it was from a best friend angle than a boss angle, if that makes sense.

Because I think that it's just hurtful to think that someone that you're so close with has been keeping something from you for that long. Yeah. Even, you know, just. And it has been nine months. Like, hey, guys, after maybe month number four or five, you realize it's kind of serious. Yeah. Time to tell her. Yeah. And it is interesting that they never did. I wonder why.

Let's get into OP's edits. Edit. I forgot to clear things up. She knows I'm pregnant. She just doesn't know who the father is. These comments really aren't super helpful. If I could trade my life for his, I would. I'm only willing to live on for my baby now, but I have nothing else for me. Whoa, that's not okay. What are the comments saying to her? They must have been shifted.

since. Like, I mean, that edit probably came right after she posted. Or maybe she just read the worst one. That's what stuck with her. I don't know. I mean, I scrolling down, I see some comments she responded to.

Someone goes, wow, this is a heck of a situation and I'm sorry for your loss. Honestly, I'm not sure what the root problem was for her. She clearly respected and cared for both her child and you. Logically, I would think that she would be relieved and happy to have a grandchild from her recently lost son, but I don't know all the details here.

And OP goes, I hope she's happy about it. I love her and loved her son so much. If she would have approved, I think I would have married him eventually. It's been tough, but I at least know I'll have a reminder from him. And yeah, I'm more than halfway along the pregnancy. I just have been holding his mother off knowing he's the father. She's excited for my pregnancy. She knows that, but she doesn't know it's his baby. Okay, that is some good context.

It helps a little bit, I think. Yeah. And so someone else goes, do you know why she didn't want the two of you together? Outside of her resistance, this seems like a good situation initially. And OP goes, she didn't actually say that ever. I just thought he was off limits since I'm her best friend and that's her son. So I think she's just like catastrophizing. And granted, any of us probably would in that situation, but...

Because it's like, you haven't told her you've been lying. And like you said, lying, like even just like, even though there's like a little sliver of maybe a rainbow, right? In this whole situation.

shitstorm of catastrophe and just tragedy. But it also was like, well, you still were lying to me. Both of you were lying to me. And actually, even if it wasn't your brother that I was like, oh, I've been dating. Even if I was just like, I've been dating someone for almost a year and I didn't tell you. I would be hurt. Yeah. Yeah. I just want someone to date my brother. I'm just kidding. My brother has a new girlfriend, apparently. I haven't... Not apparently. He's got a new girlfriend. But I'm like...

Like, I just want him to date my friend. Why? I did not know this about you. I don't know. I just think it'd be so fun. That's hilarious. Edit number two. I talked with her last night after we had dinner. I apologized for hiding it from her and told her I didn't want any money or anything from her. I just wanted her to be able to enjoy her time with her grandchild. I was honest with her on how our relationship started and how much I loved her son.

She had her doubts about it and told me she knew something was up between us two, but she didn't say anything because she wasn't sure and didn't want to make assumptions. She was very upset at first and told me I should have never hid things from her and that she would have accepted us together if she knew my intentions were clean and I wouldn't hurt her son. I showed her pictures of us together, places we went, our messages, and she broke down crying.

She looked very upset, and I genuinely thought she was going to hit me because it looked like she was about to slap me. She asked me to leave and give her some space. I went home, and she called me at midnight and asked if I could come back and spend some time with her. We finished talking, and I offered her to take a DNA test so she could see it's her grandchild.

She believed me on what I said, but she told me I should never have hid things from her because now she has regrets about not being able to support us since the beginning. She kept asking to hold my stomach and feel her grandchild, and she told me she would be there for the baby. I told her I would leave work and leave her alone if she didn't want to see me anymore, but she told me no, to stay and keep on moving forward how we were before. I apologized a dozen times and

And she told me she was happy that she still at least has a part of her son in me. She's been very emotional and she's just been wanting to feel her grandchild and she has been nice to me. I just assured her I treated her son with respect and that I was very loving with him. Hopefully, she is still accepting of the whole situation in the long run.

It was really hard to read with my eyes watering because it blurs everything. Right. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Well, because I wasn't thinking about the other fact where it's like not only is her best friend lying, but her son is lying. She has her two most important people in her life that felt like they couldn't be honest with her. And that they didn't think that she'd be supportive. And that...

She has to deal with that feeling and knowing that her son left this world without telling her about a relationship he was really excited about. And so there's just all these feelings I'm sure that she's going through that's just so, oh, so tough. And I mean, this is a good, I'm glad that it resulted in this way, but I just, it is very emotional. Like, oh, it's sad. It's so sad. I think there's a lot there too. And

I think now knowing like he's gone and her just being like, I wish you would have told me so I could have supported you from the beginning. It's like she also missed out on nine months of them dating and like having dinners with the three of them and being excited about their relationship. And I think it's always like one of those things like this has come up a lot on Father Knows recently. Yeah.

But it's one of those things where it's like we should all always live our truth. Yeah. Be who you want to be. Love who you want to love. And if the people in your life are going to accept that,

and be worthy of you and your love and your good energy and your time, then yay. And if they're not, oh well. But you're being happy. You're being your truest self. You're finding the person you're going to love the most. It really is only win-win. And is it going to be hard? Yeah.

probably if they don't react well. But in the long run, isn't it better to be you and who you want to be and love who you want to love versus a shell of yourself? Exactly. And I have been thinking about that so much because I have lived my life for so long kind of thinking more in that, oh, I want to appease my boss. Like,

Oh, I wouldn't do that because I don't want my boss to be upset with me or boss, sorry, or best friend, that type of thing. And then it's like recently I've started realizing it's like we have one life

It's not that long. Sometimes it's really short. And if you feel like you're in love with boss's son, best friend's son, then it's like you should let yourself feel those feelings and live that life and stop trying to worry about what everyone else is thinking. And of course, you want to be mindful of your best friends and the people around you and the people you love. But when you're in love in a romantic relationship and you feel it and it's real, I just think that

I've just shifted in my mindset about it right now, about stop worrying so much about everything else. And just if it feels real, if it feels right, if there's respect, if there's deep love, then go for it. Live your truth. I completely agree. I just think you have to be yourself.

And who knows? You know, we only as of right now, we only have one life. And like maybe you believe in reincarnation. But what if you get reincarnated as like a fucking bat? That could be great. You don't know. I don't want to live in a cave, Lauren. I'm scared of the dark. Well, you might not be if you. Oh, that sounds like a great Disney movie in the making. A bat who's afraid of the dark. If you take my fucking idea, Disney.

We're done. I won't go to Disneyland anymore. I won't be a Disney adult. Don't take my idea. She's lying. I'll fucking crush you. She will never not go to Disneyland. Let's be real. I'm going there for my birthday again this year. I was just thinking about the fact that your birthday is coming up. I know. I just want to do something. I love the Disney day. I feel like your birthday was like literally five seconds ago. I know. How does this keep happening? I know. And I think we're going to run it back. Disney again. It was a good time. Love it.

Um, so there are some really... If you guys want to do anything good today, please go and like, I don't know, message this OP. People were being horrendous in the comments. Really? Hor-ren-dous. Horrendous. I don't know if this was a bad day. What was it posted on? Relationship advice. That's weird. People were accusing her of...

Of multiple comments I'm seeing like multiple at least five just in this little thing. People were accusing her of being a gold digger getting pregnant on purpose. Crazy shit. I don't care about money like that. I don't want anything from her. I don't want any child support from her.

Next comment. I have money saved. I made some investments. Next comment. I'm not after her money. I don't want money. I just wanted more time with her son. I never once asked him for any money and we were planning on moving into an apartment before our baby was born. People downvoted that four times. Oh, I'm so glad that

The mom reacted so positively? No. Well, no, that's not what I was going to say. I didn't even ask the question if he knew that. Yeah, that the baby is there. And I don't know. I don't know if that's a weird thing to say, but I'm happy that he knew that. Mm hmm.

Um, someone also like was implying that she wanted to be a single mom and she replies, who would want to be a single mom? I didn't choose to break up with him or leave him. He literally lost his life. That is what's wrong with people. Why are they saying this stuff? People were being crazy, being like, what happened? How did he die? Does she talk about that at all? She does because she felt the need to reply back.

How did he pass? I don't know if you want to share that or not. I don't know if anyone needs a trigger warning for like a traumatic accident, roadway accident. Skip ahead. Click, click, click. Maybe three, four times. He crashed his motorcycle and then got hit by a car on the highway. No. That's all the details I'm giving. I don't like thinking about it. Oh.

My God. But people go on and on about money. And it's like, all she goes is, I want her emotional support, not financial. So if you guys want to take any post and do something and run with it today, I will have all of the links in the description. Go and leave a comment. Send OP a message. Account is still there. Throw R-A Lonely W-

And just spread some positivity today. Check in with your friends. Tell your loved ones you love them. I'm, as you know, rewatching How I Met Your Mother. And I rewatched the episode where Marshall loses his dad. You might not be there yet. Oh, you were rewatching as well. No, I haven't seen all of them.

But it's okay. It's okay. I normally don't want any giveaways, but when it's shows like this where I kind of just tune in for the good vibes and like the funny little one-liners, then I'm not worried about you spoiling anything. So it's okay. Yeah. So I watched that episode recently and...

Any mentions of like losing your dad really fucked me up. So like I know I'm getting my period. I'm emotional already. And then that topic. And it was a really hard episode for me to watch. I was like, you know when you cry and you're like, oh, yeah. And it's like hard crying. It's not just tears watering at a puppy commercial. Oh, I know. I was sobbing. I know exactly what you're talking about. And it was like this whole conversation of like someone's last words, right?

could be so big. And Marshall thought his dad's last words were, crocodile, Dundee three, it's real good, son. And he slowly realizes over the course of the episode that no, those weren't his last words. It was actually, hey, the Kims, they might have an umbrella. And then he finds out that he has a pocket dial and his dad ends up like leaving him this like five minute long pocket dial and

And towards the last, you know, 30 seconds of the call, he goes, Marshall, I must have pocket dialed you. I just want to tell you I love you. I'm so proud of you. But definitely did not see that. What the fuck? I already watched it. I don't need this again, universe. But I just think it's like it's so important to check in with your people.

You know, talk to your people. How you doing health-wise? You're shitting regular. Get your colonoscopy. You got a lump. Mammogram time. You sad? Tell me about it. Like, check in with your people. Tell them you love them. And let's go into 2025 spreading a lot more fucking positive energy. Because I think all of us could use it right now. Yeah. But on that note, Lauren, do you have anything to say?

I'm struggling. I literally don't know how to follow up with that. I just almost shot champagne out of my nose. I can feel it. I think I'm snotting right now. I think we gotta go. Oh my gosh, for the people who are only listening, I'm not fully just laughing at her. I do have tears in my eyes too. I'm laughing, crying with her. It's a really beautiful moment, okay? Damn. Um...

Man. Well. Okay. Well. Well. Yeah. Take it away. Oh my gosh. I have so much love for you guys right now, by the way. I just feel like you guys have been phenomenal and amazing and such a good support system lately. I just want to tell you how I can't even express how much I appreciate you guys. And

Just to like kind of go back from the first thing that we said, this has been four years. Like we are, it's literally like the four year anniversary. And I just, I can't even explain how amazing it is that you guys are here with us and how proud I am of you, Morgan. Like it's so cool to watch your friend talk about this vision that she has and

And then make it come true. Make it bigger than I could have ever imagined. Like, I'm just so proud of you. And are you trying to fuck me? No, I'm just kidding. I thank you. Yeah, of course. It wouldn't be possible without you. I don't know about that, but I appreciate that sentiment. It wouldn't. It really wouldn't.

I begged. I begged for a long time. I'm like, just do it with me. Well, because you. Oh, you go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna say, I also am kind of a little nervous about how I'm like,

Perceived on the internet. It's scary to be perceived. Yeah. So I think when you brought this idea up to me, it was definitely intimidating. But I'm glad every time I come here, you know, I'm really glad that I come here because it feels really good to be here with you guys. Like I think about things and talk about things that I wouldn't. And it just...

It's really special. It really is. But no, I wouldn't... I don't know if I never would have had someone commit to recording the first episode with me four years ago. You would have made like Justin or something. You know, you wonder, but you just don't know. You just don't know. Yeah, that's true. Okay, I'll take that. Thank you. You just don't know. Yeah. So thank you for hopping on this wild journey with me, making, you know, this possible. And really, thank you,

To all of you. Our lives are all forever changed. And what this community has done has been so special. So, so special. There's really no words for it. Happy four-year anniversary. Happy four-year anniversary, everyone. And on that note, until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye.

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