cover of episode 183: Things Are Not Swell.. Ft. Amanda Swell Entertainment

183: Things Are Not Swell.. Ft. Amanda Swell Entertainment

2024/9/19
logo of podcast Two Hot Takes

Two Hot Takes

Chapters

A man's new girlfriend is neglecting his child and going to clubs all the time, while his ex-wife was a great mother. Many commenters point out that he blew up his marriage for this new woman.
  • The man's girlfriend neglects his child and frequently goes to clubs.
  • His ex-wife was a caring mother.
  • He had an affair with his wife's friend.
  • Commenters believe he made a mistake leaving his wife.

Shownotes Transcript

Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide.

Hi, guys. Just want to let you know there's probably not going to be an episode next week. We are taking the week off to spend some quality time in Minnesota with friends and family. But head over to Patreon. September has two full bonus episodes this month, and they're insane. I just can't even get over them still. But be sure to subscribe and enjoy the episode.

Okay. Oh, yes. Headphones sound good. There we go. We are rolling on everything. Don't mind my one girl circus here. Yep. Yep. Yep. Okay. Coffee. Check. Gave the guests the water. Check. Oh, wait. Let me crack this open now before. Yeah. Give the people some ASMR. There you go.

Okay, we're rolling. We're rumbling. I'm so excited. What did you say? You're like, the yapping has been initiated? Yap powers activate. Oh, there we go. Yep. God, if that isn't a good episode title, I might have to save that because today is covered. But wow, yap powers activated.

Hello. Hi. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes, everyone. I'm your host, Morgan, and today we are joined by Amanda Golka from Swell Entertainment. Thank you for having me. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. I pronounced your name right. You did. Okay, thank God. I panic every time. No, you're all right. Your content, you walked in and I was like watching one of your videos, but your content, I can't even put words...

into how refreshing it is, how you just encompass every side of a topic, of an argument, of whatever. You're so good at being neutral, but yet having subtle opinions, but like explaining it all. So the video of Amanda's I watched was this video on overconsumption. And I

I was just blown away. Like it's something so simple and it really got me thinking. I told you I'm like sitting here unpacking some trauma because I grew up with my great grandma who lived through the great depression. And then my grandma like helped to raise us as well. So it was like a full family affair village raising us. And like, I didn't know it wasn't normal to like cut your tubes of like makeup open to get the last bit out. Or like there was just a bunch. And I'm like,

This is so good. So first and foremost, stop this episode right now and just go over to Amanda's channel because I'm just blown away. And then I got into the hobby horsing video. Yep. And as a horse girl, I'm like... I have been invited to the next world championships in Finland. Please tell me you're going. I'm going to go. It's next year. So we've got some time. What month? They don't even know yet. They're like, it's usually around June. So literally a year out. I literally just missed it. I kind of want to go. I know.

I'm like, I would never do it, but I'm like really intrigued to watch people jump over meter high fences. Yeah. No, it's crazy. And it's like, I love finding like,

fun and different things, especially things now, because I've gotten so into like sports and sporting adjacent things. I just got back from the Lumberjack World Championships. That's why I needed to like lock in the state. I was like, I need to make sure I'm back. Oh, my God. So I was just in Wisconsin for like five days for the Lumberjack World Championships. Wow. That's insane. Is that like one of the most like

sports you've witnessed recently or like what what stands out to you as like one of your craziest topics you've gone into? Yeah, that that was one. I just went to a Metal Gear Solid fan convention not too long ago. I'm going to a hacker convention in like two days. OK, that in Vegas. I know I'm not sure how to go about makes me a little scared for

I might just be, you know, getting a digital camera. I honestly... Just leaving my phones everywhere. I would. Like, have you seen, like, all the skimmer stuff lately? And, like, there's something about, like, this big antenna. I saw, like, a car theft video where this guy walks up with an antenna as you're, like, locking your car. And then he can come back later and just use the same thing to get into your car. What? I don't know how it works. But hacking and, like...

I'm getting paranoid. I have met some hackers and most of them are just very chill. Like they're very low key. And I think because of media, we have like this big or like anonymous as like a collective that like people are just very scared of them. And it's like they're most of the time they're just like.

- Yeah, it's fine. - Yeah, it's fine. It's chill, it's low key. - Where are we at with student loans and hacking, do you think? Just asking for a friend. - I would love to ask them. It's one of those things where it's like, I don't know. 'Cause I feel like there's like, God, what was it? This is totally unrelated. But there was someone who just like, they bought a bunch of people's debt from a collection company.

Because debt is sellable. Like a lot of a lot of hospitals, medical debt, things like that, personal loan debt. They don't want to go through the stress of collections. So they sell it to a collections agency. And then those are the ones that come after you for your loans and your debts. And someone just bought you can just buy people's debts and they literally just burn the paper and it's like your debt's gone.

After the fact. God, what was this? This was months ago. I got it. It's going to drive me crazy. And I was like, that is what I want. We need more people to be doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Instead, must just keeps changing everything on Twitter. Sorry, I'm not calling it X. No, I will always call it Twitter. Always. Always. Always.

I'm just like, he needs to get off Twitter and go focus on his cyber truck because those things are just pieces of shit. Oh God. Every time I see one, I was behind one yesterday and I was like, we're adding four lengths of cars between me and you. I don't trust you on the road. I get the biggest ick from those things. As someone, I love cars. Like I love Formula One. I love motorsports. I love, I grew up going to classic car shows, all this stuff to look at them. It's such an assault on the eyes. It's like disgusting as someone who is like, no, everyone has their own thing. Everyone's got their own vibe. Everyone loves. No, I hate looking at this.

It made me a little nauseous, to be honest. It's so, I'm like, I'm going to come up and just put like an industrial grade sticker on your car. Good luck getting it off because you can't take it to a car wash. You can't take goo off to it. It's going to disintegrate the car.

Oh my God. And they don't have crumple zones. None. And then did you, I don't know if you saw this video. I don't know the name. They literally were just talking. It's like one of those like car review channels or whatever. Was he taking sledgehammers to it? No, they tried using the tow hitch to tow an F-150. Yes. The same guy. Yeah. Okay. So tow it. And the whole...

back of the car came off. The frame snapped off completely. And aluminum... Oh, God. It makes me physically ill. I know. So I fell down the rabbit hole. He's like a bodybuilder something, and he does these car reviews, which...

I can't even imagine having that money to like blow a hundred something thousand dollars on a car to just like beat it with a sledgehammer. So he does that toe test. Like the delivery, he like, you see him roll this Cybertruck off the delivery truck flatbed and he just like goes and it goes on the ground. Like I'm like,

It's painful, but like I appreciate the commitment to the bit. That's the thing. It's like whenever someone is like mad at like a phone reviewer where it's like, oh, I did a stress test and it snaps the iPhone in half and it's like, okay, good thing I'm never going to go like this on my iPhone. It's like, yeah, but we do need that. We do need people that do full in-depth reviews, including of cars. Absolutely. I mean, I think it holds all of those companies more accountable. Like don't sell us shit.

Exactly. We want good stuff. Yes. We want good stuff, which this week's episode is not full of good stuff. The theme I have today is it's not swell. Things are not all right. It's not okay. I'm excited. People are unwell. I'm going to be unwell. There's a lot happening here. I'm ready. Let's dive in. Yeah, powers activate. I seriously love that. I'm ready.

Okay, so this first one is coming from Relationship Advice. It is titled, My 29 male girlfriend, 29 female, has a hard time acting like a girlfriend. How do I address this? As someone who is perpetually single, I already feel I'm going to have opinions on this. My girlfriend Rain and I have been in a relationship for a few months. We didn't get together in the most conventional way because she was my wife's friend and we fell in love.

Unfortunately. Like you were passive bystander to this happening. Okay, continue. Okay.

She made sure we spent quality time together. She did nice gestures, was a great mother to our child. With Rain, she doesn't help at all with the baby and just sits there. To clarify, the baby I have with Rose, we have joint custody of, and I'm now staying with Rain, and she doesn't do shit.

I've asked, and she just complains. Mind you, she also hasn't seen her child in months. She had a child with her ex-husband and makes zero effort to see her child. She is so indifferent about it, it's crazy. But perhaps worst of all is she goes to the club all of the time and doesn't let me know. She will just come home at 3 to 4 a.m., and it annoys me. Meanwhile, I come home from work, and I cooked and cleaned.

Okay. So I didn't get the spot where they were separated because it does sound like he's still with his wife. But then he said, okay, I'm living with my girlfriend now. Yep. Okay. Okay.

What do you do is that you blew up your life. It's what you did. You blew up your life. Your your wife clearly loved and adored you and your kid. And of course, she's doing a great job being a wife. Yeah, because she was your wife. That was what she was. She's now she's a great mom still because that she was before that. You just lost the spark because you stopped trying to find the spark, basically. And it's like, yeah, your girlfriend's now complacent because she's

Also, I'm sorry. So she blew up her marriage, too. Were they separated at all? Yeah. We're missing a lot of information. There's a lot of key details missing. There is a lot of typos in this. I'm not sure if English is the first language because a lot of just the grammar stuff I kind of reworked on the fly. But it's definitely interesting. And the timeline is very unclear. Like, yeah, they hit it. But now he's moved out.

unclear if they're actually divorced or just separated. Yeah, because she was doing a great job being a good wife after she found out. And it's like, okay, so you decided to try and work through it, even though she took it poorly, is what I would interpret that as. But then he's like, but I'm living with my girlfriend. And I almost think that the things that are missing are to make the girlfriend sound worse. I could see that. Because...

Then it's like, oh yeah, she's not seeing her kid. And it's like, okay, well, was she divorced before you guys were together? Was she with her kid before you guys were together? I know. Is this a new development since you've gotten together? Because, you know, I can see that because there are some people who are like, oh, well, this is my second chance at life. I'm getting rid of everything of my old life. Isn't that so crazy? Which is crazy. But I can see some people do see that as like, oh, this is my option to do this. But again, we're missing key information. The advice here is,

You messed up. That's the advice. Yeah. I think you got to take this tail between your legs, admit you messed up, and...

Thank God your wife got out from your sorry solve. Yes. But this person isn't your person and you learned a tough lesson and you move on. You find a new girlfriend. Yeah. It almost sounds like he's trying to be like, okay, so here's how great my wife is. This is what my girlfriend's doing. And almost like being like, how can I get my girlfriend to be like my wife? She's not. It's like, she won't be. No, she's going to be at the club. And it almost sounds like,

Because he's saying the spark was there. Did they meet at a club? You know, it's this is the girlfriend's. So this is the wife's friend. Yeah. I think we're skipping over that, which we can't skip over because also I would literally. Oh, God. Maybe because it's not even like just being a girl's girl. I would never do that to someone. No, I would literally never do that, let alone to my friend's husband. Like, that's crazy. I.

I give the wife so much props for not going nuclear because I would... She could have hit you both with her car and it would have been justified. Yeah. I would have gone Beyonce, baseball bat, lemonade style on something of theirs. Like, oh, oh. I know. It is interesting. And I think it's like, oh, we had the spark. It was so exciting. Well, yeah, because you were doing it behind your wife's back. Like, of course, secrets and the thrill of, oh, let's not get caught are going to make it interesting for you. Yeah.

I still can't wrap my head around some people thinking that way because it would just give me nonstop anxiety. Yeah. No, fully. My anxiety barely lets me date. It's not going to let me be a homewrecker. Like, it just will not. It's like one as a person. It does not appeal to me whatsoever. But then also, like, let's say, oh, maybe I do fall in love with someone. My anxiety would just be like, you are doing something wrong. It is bad. Bad. Self-sabotage at every moment. Do they like me? They don't like me. He hates me. Why is he here? Oh, my God. I'm not really. Yeah, that's...

The struggle of that inner monologue sometimes is rough, but this one is brutal. It's only six days old right now. Oh, God. Okay, ready. It's a fresh one. It's a fresh one. Top comment on it. Not sure why you're expecting your girlfriend to be someone she wasn't to begin with. Yeah. Also, she technically doesn't have to take care of your child. She's your girlfriend, not your wife, nor your baby's mother. Yeah. No, that's... Also, we didn't discuss that. It's like the fact that...

"Yeah, she doesn't do anything for my kid." It's like, she doesn't do anything for her kid either. It's like, okay, well then it sounds like she may not have done anything for her kid in the first place. And that's why she was down to have an affair with you.

as well as like her marriage. Maybe she was already divorced. Maybe they were already going through a hard time, whatever. It's like the signs were there. I don't know what you thought was going to happen here at the same time. I mean, just rational brain. Like she, he clearly knew she likes the club. She likes going out. You kind of know those things or maybe they didn't. Maybe they only talked between nine and 5 PM while he was at work. Like, yeah, I don't know, but you clearly knew something about her. At least, you

You know, enough to want to sleep with her and have this affair for an extended period of time. So we didn't get a timeline for how long the affair was. Right. But if it's more like it also if like if this is your wife's friend, she's been in your life for a long time. You would have heard your wife talk about like, yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, she no, she doesn't want to come to dinner. She's going out with friends tonight. You know, like you would have heard that.

So he's an idiot. Moral of the story is you're an idiot. Next comment down. The dildo of consequences that rarely arrives lubed is arriving really early for this guy. I love to see it. God, I hope Rose is out there living her best life with someone that loves, appreciates, and respects her because this asshole certainly didn't. I'm really hoping Rose is not her real government name. Yeah. I'm really hoping. Some people... He said the...

other woman's name the girlfriend's name right too eventually rain yeah those are very specific rain and rose just yeah our names yeah uh next comment down you feel that sharp pain in your ass that's the karma bus hitting you i haven't heard of a bus before but i like that i like envisioning yeah the bus is coming for my my enemies because it's on a schedule

Oh, I like that. See, you're so quick with it. You're so quick with it. Yeah, I think this is... I kind of like this. I'm happy things aren't so swell for him. Screw you, buddy. Okay, moving along. Okay, this next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? Let's go. The OG, baby. Let's go. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my brother to get out and take his bitch of a wife with him when he asked for some of our mom's ashes? Yes.

I'm going to go with yes.

Around this time, his wife made a lot of posts about how she was an attention seeker and was making up problems, that she was trying to cause a wedge in their relationship. My brother stopped visiting our mother, and I do not like Cara at all.

When this started happening, I decided to visit my mom. I live in another state. It took me a day to realize something was wrong. I took her to the doctors, and it turns out she had dementia. I informed the family and became the main caretaker. Kara continued to make posts or comments that she was faking it. My brother stood by her the whole time.

I literally begged him to come and visit before she passed. She was cremated, and I have the ashes. He didn't even come to the viewing.

This is the issue. He and Cara showed up asking for some of our mom's ashes. I told him no, that he didn't even see her before she died. This started an argument against us all. By the end of it, I told him to get out and take his bitch of a wife with him. He has been calling me a jerk and telling me I have to apologize. The family is torn. Some are saying fuck him and Cara, but others are saying I would give in because it's his mom too.

Am I the asshole? I take it back. You're not the asshole. No, I... No, I...

Okay. So none of my grandparents had dementia, but my dad's long-term girlfriend who did pass away at the end of 2022 from cancer, it is truly terrifying. And it's terrifying for them too, because they can be so confused, so scared. It's not something that you can fake, honestly, I don't think, especially when you're older, because you don't have the forethought of that. Like it's

It's terrifying. So that's that. So already your, your sibling and his wife are assholes because to even insinuate publicly on Facebook is what I'm assuming publicly. That's insane publicly. Cause it's one thing if she's like, I think she thinks she's my mom is faking. That's one thing. If you believe that to have public proof that she is posting that your, your mom was faking is so insensitive, so unhinged, so insane. That's ridiculous. All right.

already. Okay. And then for your brother to back it up, your brother to not be worried about his mother or anything like that. Insane. So

I don't think you're the asshole. Yes. Could delivery be better? Sure. But then to not, regardless of what you believe, your mother has now passed away. You don't go to the viewing. And again, your sister lived in another state, uprooted her life to go take care of her mom. Yep. While you had seemingly lived down the street is what it sounds like. Yep. And you didn't take time to go to the viewing. And now you want ashes. Why? Why? To be a good son all of a sudden? It's for show. Excuse my language.

fuck you you're done you're done no you're done i i wish you would have gone harder on him honestly like

There's so many things wrong with this one. And I think the point of like publicly bringing this about saying she's faking dementia. That's insane. It's it's insane. It's one thing to think it between, you know, you and your partner. Like, yeah, your mom's being a little dramatic with this. You know, she's got a history of being a hypochondriac in the past or, you know, she malingers some things. Right.

But who wants to fake fucking dementia? Have you ever seen someone go through that? It's terrifying. You fucking asshole, Cara, Kara, however the fuck you say it. That's not something I would wish on my worst enemy. You lose your sense of self. It's just no. And so to publicly air it again and again and again.

She's gone. Yeah. So you were proven incorrect. Still didn't go to the viewing. So you still, did she, was she faking being dead? Is that what your thought process was? Because that's insane. What the fuck? What do they want to do with these ashes? I feel like they're trying to do some fucking seance or something evil. No, I don't.

Because they give evil. They do give evil. But I also, again, it's like what goes back to an earlier story about being refusing to be seen as a bad mother or a bad parent. Being refusing to be seen as a bad son or daughter-in-law. Like it's like, oh no, we need something from the family. It's like, oh, we couldn't go, but we have her ashes here. We have a photo of her here. We want to remember her constantly as a very performative. I know it's disgusting. Very performative is my assumption because it's like...

I just I hate it. It's awful. And then it's like, I'm sorry, does he have kids? Is that what she said? Their family? So I assumed kids. I I don't know if there's any mention of kids. I think like overall the family is torn. Some are saying fuck him. When they were saying that she wanted to see my brother and his family.

Earlier on. Yes. And so I was like, oh no, she didn't like it though. So they only saw once a month. It does imply some children potentially. Yeah. So maybe it's like, maybe the kids are asking like, well, what happened to grandma? Like, or something like that. And it's like, they're wanting, you know, ashes as like, oh, well, she passed away. Why didn't we go to the funeral? I don't know. We don't know how old the kids are. If there are kids, the implication sounds like there's kids is the implication. Yeah. So, or at least a kid. But yeah, I just don't,

You're not an asshole. I think you should have gone harder. And yeah, if there's your family, it's funny because like I've said, I don't have contact with my parents and everyone has a has an opinion on that. Oh, of course. And every periodically, especially I get calls from people who never call me otherwise. It's time to forgive. It's like, you know, they're doing really great. I'm like, cool. Did I ask?

I don't think I did. I'm also doing great. Have you asked how I'm doing? No. Cool. Like it's the same thing. I think when people, when it's not directly impacting someone, like they're not act like,

if the rest of the family I don't think was taking care of your mother in that time was not dealing with your brother and his wife in that time was not seeing these posts in that time then it's hard for them to contextualize that until it affects them and so it's really easy to be like well that's your mother that's his mother too yes it is that but it's like they want to remember that now after the fact they want to remember

that versus during the time when you uprooted your life to go and take care of your mom and be a good daughter and be a good upstanding member of society and not a complete lunatic like your sister-in-law. And it's like

Again, she was posting publicly that she was faking dementia. That's unhinged. That's insane. She needs help. She needs help and not the ashes. Don't give them the ashes. No, no ashes. No, no, no, no, no, no. And it's so frustrating. I think that's a big grievance of mine is when people who don't have like a hair to lose or they don't have a dog in the fight. Yeah. Chime in. Yeah. This isn't your fight. No. Stay out of it. That's why you're weighing it on people's stories.

You have nothing to lose, though, by, like, saying this opinion to me. Like, oh, of course it's easy for you to say to reconnect with my parent. They didn't hurt you. You're not the one with an issue with them. Just butt out. Just butt out. Really. Seriously. I'm so... No, you're not the asshole. You're not the asshole. In fact, I would have probably decked my sister-in-law at that point, especially if she showed up asking for ashes. Because it sounds like this was...

months after the cremation, not like the day after. So it's like you could have gone to the viewing. Or did you just show up after and it's like, oh, we need our portion of the ashes. I'm surprised there's nothing. I hope she wrote them out of the will. I'm hoping there's nothing. There's no mention of the will it sounds like, so it's like I'm hoping there's nothing or anything like that. But it's...

I hate it. Let's see. Let's get into the comments. Oh, God. Top comment, not the asshole. Your brother made his choice and he chose poorly. He deserves nothing. They have the same energy as my younger sister. She was really abusive and awful to my mother most of her life. And she continued after my mother got diagnosed with cancer and traveled internationally more than she came to visit. Then she's engaged in some performative bullshit at her funeral.

Next comment down. Sadly, I think just about everyone has a similar family member. I'm sorry you had to go through that. There are some comments that OP responds to. Someone goes, what would your mom have wanted? And OP says, she wanted her son to care about her when she was alive. Mmm.

Yeah, exactly. And like you, the dementia is so hard to because, you know, every single day, especially even if it was like once a month that they were seeing her. That's a pattern that she probably got used to even in her dementia. So she'd be like, oh, where's brother's name? Are they coming by? Are they? What time are they coming? Like it would probably be things like that where it's like and so she would have to. It's like, oh, well, well, they're not coming today. You know, like she had to go through that. Yeah. And she had to routinely tell her mom, no, they're not coming.

Like, that's horrifying. It's so sad. Someone replies back to OP's comment, and they go, Mm.

And someone goes, to hell with your brother, his wife, and being the bigger person. Keep all of the ashes. I'm sorry for your loss. May your mother continue resting in peace away from those that caused her pain. Someone goes, gagged. Honestly, at this point, do what you feel is best. I'm so sorry. I know. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but that took me out. Well, that's like when I read like eight with this one. It's like...

I get it. But like, damn, like this is a point where you don't want to like common section is eldest daughters who have had to be in this position is what it sounds like in some capacity. Elvis daughters. Yeah. Lisa Marie. What does it mean? No, eldest daughters. Like oldest. Sorry, what did I say? I thought you said Elvis daughters. No, Elvis daughters. Lisa Marie Presley? No. What do you know about that? Eldest daughters. No. No. Which I mean, she is an eldest daughter. She is. She is.

Oh, man. Yeah. O.P. People are like, wait, what are you asking? And O.P. was like outside opinion on if I went too far. I know I am biased. I'm so close to the issue. I want to know others opinions on this and if I should give him some ashes. No, no. I mean, it's I vote no. But also it's like.

Yeah, you answered the question, what would your mother want? Your mother wanted a son that cared about her when she was alive and took her concerns seriously and things like that because she clearly knew something was wrong with her going to the doctors. But she didn't have the mental wherewithal to be like, okay, I am forgetting things. I am losing time, things like that. Like that's – and I'm getting confused. That's what she needed. If they had cared about her at all versus thinking that she was just –

or trying to drive a wedge in your marriage, which is insane behavior. That's insane to make that assumption. And what she was asking for is like she wanted to see him and his family. She wanted to have dinner with them. Yeah. And that was viewed as driving a wedge between their relationship. Insane. That's nuts. Like, so you just want to separate your husband from his entire family. Yeah. Dinner once a month, like...

That's not a lot to ask for. Especially it sounds like if you live in the same city is what it sounds like. I literally...

If I lived in the same city, I'd see my grandma four, five times a week. Like, I love my grandma. I talk to my dad all the time. I love my grandma. I see my dad for dinner all the time. It's just like, it's not when you, I don't know. It's just, and I get not having a great relationship, but it doesn't sound like there were any issues or OP maybe would have mentioned it. My brother and my mom were strained, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it doesn't sound like that. She's the one that lives in another state.

And she came, but she still came home. She's like, I wanted to visit my mom. Come to visit and I immediately knew something was wrong. Such immediately. Yeah. I was there a day and I knew something was wrong. And the brother had seen her how often? Yeah. Is there any more comments from that one? No other comments besides there wasn't a funeral, just a viewing. But either way, he lived in the same town. Easily could have made it. And even then, viewings as well. There's like, there is a preparation process that is a cost process.

cremation is not cheap. I do know that. Like, I'm assuming he didn't help with any of those costs or anything like that as well. And then he wants the ashes. And it's like, I'm assuming that maybe she didn't want to write that in there because it is...

It's tacky to talk about that when it comes to death. Yeah. But it is a factor. Dying in this country is expensive. They don't tell you that. Is it? That... It's very expensive. That feels like illegal. Yeah. To get buried, I saw some sort of stat, like to get buried and have a nice casket and a nice funeral, it's at least $8,000. Mm-hmm.

What? Cremation is one of the cheaper options and it still is very expensive. And even then it's like, and like to have a viewing as well, like they do go through the process of preparing the body. And so that is very expensive. No, I don't want to be embalmed. Yeah. No. Honestly, now that I'm thinking about this, future family, if you check back in, I won't put that on you though. It'll be very clear in my will. Oh yeah, no. I have a living will at 26. I have something laid out fully. Oh God, you're so good.

Well, I have a parent I don't speak to. I don't want it to be a debate. I don't want there to be a lawsuit. I don't want my dad to go through that. Are you a lawyer local? I need someone good. There's quite a few. We'll find you one. But I literally just bury me in the backyard. Wooden box, like just wooden box. I don't want a fancy casket. What's crazy is in some instances you legally can't do that. They make it very difficult. Can you get buried in your backyard? I think it's state by state. Yeah.

Burial on private property is possible in Minnesota. There you go. If you want to establish a private cemetery, you must have the land surveyed and the plat recorded with the deed. The cemetery land will be exempt from taxation. Look at me. I'm going to go build a cemetery in my backyard. Start a family plot. I got a couple of dogs there, you know. There you go. I think this is going to be good. Yeah. Oh, gosh.

This is crazy, but no, not the asshole. Not the asshole. Just, oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. And the fact that you now have to deal with this added layer while you're grieving. And that's the thing too. It's like, it's never just, you think it ends at that and it never is, which is such a bummer. Cause then it's like family politics are just such a nightmare. Frankly, it's awful. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. Why can't people just be more sane and loving and kind towards their family and just not?

Crazy. Like, absolutely crazy. Like, I still...

I haven't really had a relationship with like my aunt's husband in years. And I love my aunt. I love my cousins, but it's been like the past and it always happens at Christmas, which is, should be a happy time. But like four years ago, he just was like talking shit about my mom. And it's like, of course I'm going to get upset. So we didn't talk for years after that randomly started seeing each other again. And then this past Christmas, uh, my grandma had like

a front wheel drive car and was becoming very unsafe to drive. It wouldn't start. It was just, it was terrible. Yeah. And she's 82 years old. Jeez. And so I have the privilege and thanks to all of you guys, I was able to get her a car.

And so I bought her like this little it was used. It's not like anything crazy, but it's still a beautiful new car. My grandma's never gotten a new car and it's new basically. And they stormed out of Christmas and I haven't talked to him since. They were like, fuck Morgan. She's showing off. And it's like.

This is quite literally not about me. This is not about you. This is about grandma. And I didn't even like preface it as like, I got you this car, grandma. I literally, we recorded it. We played it back to see what they got so upset over. I literally go, we got you this car, grandma. There's one last gift for you. We got you this car. We. Until they stormed out, she thought everyone had done it. Like what is your- Like it was a family pulling it together. What is, and we asked, we literally asked like,

You can contribute $100. You can contribute $500, like whatever you want. And you can to be a part of this. Did they reply? They were like, no. And then you did it anyway. I did anyways. Yeah, of course. They didn't think I would. And I'm like, no, my grandma's going to be safe out there on those roads. No, people don't expect others to stand on business because they refuse to. It's literally that. And I'm like, you're mad at me for getting her something she needed to be safe. Yeah. Insane. Okay. Crazy. Fucking psychos.

I just don't understand people. I'm just like, why? Why? Why can't people just be nice? Okay. Moving along. Ugh.

One of this week's partners is Talkspace. For a lot of us, we're starting to transition into fall and winter. It can bring on a wave of mental health issues. And with that, it can be challenging to find a therapist that feels right, one that understands you, one that gets you, that can meet you at your level and teach you positive coping skills. But that's where Talkspace could come in. Talkspace is the leading virtual therapy provider, making getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. My favorite part about online therapy is you can do it wherever.

I've taken sessions in a park, my car, from the comfort of my bed, and I love that I can chat with my therapist in between sessions. One thing that's really great about Talkspace is that therapy and psychiatry are covered by many major insurance plans and employers. Most insured members have a $0 copay, and you can switch providers at any time,

at no additional cost. So if you're ready to try it for yourself, as a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80. To get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show, that's Talkspace.com slash THT, promo code SPACE80.

This next one is coming from AITAH. It is titled, Am I the asshole for prioritizing my sister's wedding over my girlfriend's birthday after she gave me an ultimatum? My girlfriend Lisa and I have been together for two years. Her birthday is coming up, and she's been planning a big celebration with friends and family for months. It's a milestone birthday for her, and she's really excited about it because she always felt her birthday hasn't been celebrated properly in the past.

Here is where it gets complicated. My sister, Jane, just announced her wedding date, and it's the same weekend as Lisa's birthday. Jane and her fiance had to move their wedding date up due to some family health issues, and now it's a small, intimate ceremony that means a lot to her. Jane asked me to be a part of the wedding party, and as her only sibling, it's important to me to be there. When I broke the news to Lisa, she was devastated.

She feels that her birthday should be a priority, especially since I've known about it for so long. She's also hurt because she planned this big event with her closest people, and my absence would be noticeable. I suggested celebrating her birthday a day earlier or later, or even me flying back the next morning, but she wasn't having any of it.

Things escalated when Lisa gave me an ultimatum. Either I attend her birthday party or we're done. She feels this is a test of my commitment to our relationship and argued that if I loved her, I would prioritize her special day. I explained that my sister's wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event and that I can't miss it, but she insists I'm choosing my family over her.

Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. My family thinks it's obvious I should go to my sister's wedding, but some of our mutual friends say Lisa has a point and that birthdays are important milestones in a relationship. I don't want to hurt either of them, but I can't be in two places at once. So am I the asshole for prioritizing my sister's wedding?

Okay. There's a lot there. And also I have this thing where like, I don't think I've ever had like a good birthday that wasn't a complete nightmare. And so in that regard, like last year, my birthday, I was like, okay, who's buying me lunch? Who's buying me dinner? That is all I want to plan. I don't want to plan anything else. We're not having a party. We're doing nothing. Who is buying me food? That is it. I love that. It was great. Cause there's no pressure. There's no like let down. Yes. That's the hard part. Just the let down. Yes. And so in that regard, I'm like, okay, yeah, it's, it's a birthday. Okay.

But I get it. You want to throw something big, and this is a wrench in that. But at the same time, it's like...

The family health issues, I don't think we could ignore that. That's a huge piece of context. Because there's a lot of people, like I've seen weddings get moved up. I've seen, you know, vow renewals get moved up, things like that, because it's like, you know, my grandmother's going to die. I need to get married so that she can be there. And it sounds like that there's something there, whether it's his family or his sister's fiance's family, like that is relevant. And if his sister wants him there because it's his sister...

I would choose the wedding. And then, okay. But then also like, let's say I think I'm going to marry this girl. This is my girlfriend. I think I'm going to marry her. Surprise trip a week before. Surprise weekend away.

I can't be here on your birthday and I'm sorry, but I want you to know that I am. I love that. You know, I am committed to this relationship. And so this is how I'm proving that to you. That's such a great. I will come back first thing the next morning, but I have to do this for my family. And as my future wife one day, throw that in there. Okay. I know you will understand the sacrifice I have to make right now to be there for my sister, because I know that you are.

would also understand how important it was for my sister to be at our wedding one day. You know, I'm being a little bit of a little shit with it. But, you know, at the same time, I'm like, you know, I would I would if I truly thought like this is my person and she's just not being rational because she's so emotionally invested because I get it. You know, there's a lot of people I've seen. I think the birthday dinner thing is a big deal on TikTok as well with like, oh, they didn't come to my birthday dinner. They are officially not in my friend group anymore and all of that.

It is crazy the stipulations and hoops people will make their friends try to jump through. And it's like not everyone is in that place of privilege, comfort to be able to like afford a luxury, like luxurious dinner. Like, yeah, I'm just people have gotten so beyond. It's crazy. But I yeah, I'm just like.

She's really put him through it. Yeah. And it's like, I get it. This isn't your friend. This is your boyfriend of two years. Yeah. This is important to you. But also it's like she's getting married one time. You have a birthday every year. I get it. This is a big deal. Milestone birthday. I'm assuming it's a 25, a 30 maybe. Like I'm assuming it's like one of the big fives or something. So there is a couple edits from OP. Okay. All right. It will be her 21st birthday.

I was going to say before seeing the age, I was going to say this is giving young. Yeah. Because if this were me, even if it was like my 30th, I would have been like for my 30th. I just went to Disneyland. Like I have friends that have done big trips and it's amazing. And everyone should celebrate their birthday the way they want to. But like,

I just... I don't know. I was like, Disneyland sounds nice. No pressure. No letdown. No tears this year. First birthday without tears. So something about Disneyland. But it was giving young. Like, not understanding. And they've only been together two years, which I get. Everyone has, like, their own relationship timeline. Some people are married within two years. Some people are married within six months. But I've had cake in my freezer longer than this relationship. So...

I mean, if it doesn't work and this is a great test of you're having something hard, how are you going to work through it? Yeah. Because life is never easy. Yeah. The thing with relationships is how do you work through the hard stuff and do you work through it well? And if you don't, then there might be a compatibility issue. Question. Did Opie give us his age? No mention of ages. Yes.

That stresses me out. Are you like, is he 34? Yeah, like I'm thinking, because did he say his younger sister is getting married? Just sister. Okay. See, that alone, I don't know. That's giving me some red flags maybe. It's giving big sister for me. Let me see if there's any ages in comments from OP. Okay.

Because if like they're both 21, a milestone birthday, the way he says milestone birthday, that makes me sound like to me, I interpret that as he's older because he knows it's a milestone age. Like he himself has been through 21 already, which could make him 25, which not a big deal. Okay. I don't know. It does seem he never calls her child. Did he ever? I don't think he ever called her childish. No. Yeah. So then I think it's fine. Okay. I think that, yes, she's very young. She doesn't get it.

And she may not get it. This might be the this might be the challenging time. You know, you're right. I think this might be the you know, hey, listen, it's my sister. She's getting married one time. It's extenuating circumstances. I want to be there for her. I would really love for you to support me at this time and I will make it up to you. Yeah. If I can't make it up to you, then this is where our paths end.

You know? I'm with you. I'm on that boat with you. Top comment. Did your sister move it up to that weekend knowing about the birthday weekend? Or did they just move it up and didn't realize until you told them it was the same date as her birthday? The latter. They don't even know it's her birthday. Okay. Then, yeah. Then...

Yeah, because when you first had moved up the date and then didn't say like the family stuff and all that, I was like, okay, is this a my sister hates my girlfriend? Yeah. Like, is this that? But even then it's like, I can't imagine even even in my most vindictive mindset, I can't be like, I'm going to move up my special day just to get my boyfriend, my brother to pick up with her, his girlfriend. No, that's insane. No. So.

Wedding planning. I haven't even started because it's like I can't even imagine wedding planning the stress and having to like rapidly move something up. Yeah. Because of family health issues like the stress. Yeah. You would really have to hate this girl to do that to yourself. I'm fully planning on eloping by the way. I've seen all my cousins get married. I'm technically next in line and I told my aunt because she's planned all of them. She's like I know what to do for you now. I'm like no no no. Plan the party. I'm just going to go elope and then we can have a party.

And she's like, okay, I like that. I like that. Someone does respond after that, the same person actually. So my not the asshole still stands. And that is a red flag that she's giving you an ultimatum. Because that's the thing here. It's not like I'm really mad at you. You're letting me down. It's you pick me and my birthday or we're done. Like,

if you are giving someone an ultimatum over something so trivial, but like I understand. Inconsequential. Yes. It's your 21st. It's big. It's exciting. If you're in the States, you get to drink for the first time. That can be a big milestone at that age. Absolutely. But 15 years from now,

Like, I don't remember my 21st really. Like, yeah, I don't. You know, it's like the wedding is really what's more important here in the grand scheme of things. Yeah. So Opie's edit little update after this post, I texted and called out her behavior. And now she is crying, saying I don't even care for her. I'm trying to calm her down, but she is really crying a lot. Did little video call to see her face. I don't know what to do, bruh.

I had it number two. Okay, he's definitely 22. He's young. He's young. We're good. We're good. Little more update. I think now she has calmed down a bit and is understanding my point of view. I said I'll try to either rush things and be on both sides for small time or we will celebrate a grand one next time slash day or whenever she likes. Now she said,

Okay. And then wrote a long ass emotional paragraph on how much she loves me. After reading that, even I got emotional. Even if it was genuine or not, though. To the people asking, it will be her 21st. Mm-hmm.

He's a baby. Oh, God. I just I remember being 20. You know, it's like I say every day. It's like I'm so glad my YouTube channel didn't blow up or take off until I was 22. I was like 16. I would be a psychopath. I'd probably be in jail like there would be a problem. I would be insane. Really? Even then I feel like 20 to 22. Like I feel like I'm such a different I was such a different person to now. I'm 26. I'm just a drastically different person. So I'm

Yes, right now this is the most important thing to her in life. But also it's like I feel like even once the wedding happens and she like sees the photo or boyfriend and has like maybe he'll be in a suit, nice jacket, something for his sister's wedding. She'll be like, I should be there with him. You know, like I am being ridiculous. I should be there with him. Yeah. So hopefully that's the perspective. But I do think that it wouldn't be until after the fact. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. I feel like if this was my birthday, I would have just shifted it. Yeah. Like, cause I would want to be at the wedding. Yeah. Well, if I was invited, I guess, but I'm like, if you have the opportunity to go to a wedding, like I'd go to the wedding and then have your birthday, a different weekend. Yeah.

There is a comment here from someone. They go, 15 years from now, you and your wife will be at your sister's house looking at pictures of her wedding. And one of your kids will ask, why aren't you in the pictures, daddy? And your sister will say, you blew me off for that girl. What was her name? And you'll respond, Laura. No, Lisa. Yeah, it was Lisa. And OP responds and goes, yeah, LOL.

I love when people make fan fictions. I know. Just a comment section. Like, that's... That's funny, but also it's like... Yeah, I think that's... There is this... It's funny. I like how I don't intend to talk in TikTok trends, but there is this, like, thing going on on TikTok right now. I don't know if you've seen this, where it's like, oh, uh...

with him on Tinder because my future husband would never say that to me or something like that. I love that. Or it's like things like that. It's like, yeah, would your future wife ask you to skip your sister's wedding? No. I think is the question you have to ask yourself. And I do think this is someone who might be a little younger or just not as relationship savvy because a

A lot of people are now pointing out the red flags. And he's like, yeah, you know, I was just conflicted about trying to be in two places at once and trying to make it happen for both of them that I kind of ignored the red flags. So we do have an update. An official. Like post wedding update or post? Not sure. Haven't read it. It's 10 hours old.

I'm so I'm sad. I'm sad. First of all, thank you for your feedback on my original post. I decided to go to my sister Jane's wedding, but things have gotten a bit more complicated since then.

When I told Lisa that I would be attending the wedding, she was understandably upset and cried a lot. She love-bombed me, showered me with affection and promises, and finally agreed that we could celebrate her birthday the next day. I thought we had come to a reasonable compromise. During the wedding weekend, Lisa texted and called constantly with various problems. She claimed her car had broken down and she didn't know what to do. Then she said she had an

urgent work issue she needed my help with. At one point, she sent me a series of frantic messages about our dog acting strangely, only to later admit that he was perfectly fine.

Lisa also pulled some weird stunts to disturb me. She sent a food delivery to my hotel room with a note saying, quote, wish you were here, and even called the hotel pretending to be me and leave a message saying my presence was needed at home urgently. It was bizarre and stressful, but I tried to stay focused on supporting my sister.

When I got back, I went straight to see Lisa. She kissed and hugged me a lot, acting overly affectionate. However, since then, she's been continuously taunting me about ignoring her for the wedding. She makes passive-aggressive comments like, quote, I guess family is more important than I am, and, quote, hope Jane's wedding was worth abandoning me.

I'm at a loss for how to feel. On one hand, I understand she felt neglected. But on the other hand, her behavior during the wedding was extremely disruptive. Yet sometimes she loves and seduces me like I doubt anyone can ever do it that lovely. Our relationship feels quite complicated, and I'm not sure how to move forward. Thank you all for the advice on my previous post. I'm trying to navigate this situation, but it's been tough.

Okay. Disruptive is not the word. Unwell is the word. Unhinged, deranged. There's a couple of her, you know. Mentally unstable. Yes. That's because not even anything about like, oh, her birthday was wonderful. She didn't have a good time. Something happened at the birthday. Nothing about the birthday. So clearly it sounds like maybe she didn't even do the birthday because she was focused on mentally, psychologically torturing you the entire time. This is.

This is crazy. When did she have time to go out and have dinner with friends based on what she was doing? Yeah, it sounds... And then to... I'm sorry. The way it was being described, I was like, this is what you hear in the Dateline episode after they find his body. Like, not to take it that extreme, but, like, this is not well behavior. This is not someone who has...

Okay, no, I vote breakup. I vote save yourself. This is done. I vote protect your dog and go move in with your sister for a little bit. Literally. And her new husband. Well, that's like, there's so much added stuff here, right? Like they share a dog together. So are they living together too? Like this is a very serious relationship. And for her to like do all of this, it's giving like,

narcissist who doesn't have the moment on her and she's doing everything she can to bring the attention back to her and sabotage the other happy thing that's going on. Yeah. Car, work emergency, dog emergency, sending food to the hotel, sending, pretending to be himself to ask for like, I didn't, I didn't get that. So she called the hotel pretending to be him.

saying that I have to, what was it? That I have to check out to go home for an urgent meeting? Saying my presence was needed at home urgently. What are you trying to do with that? That sounds like it's trying to cancel his hotel reservation. Like pretended to be me.

My presence is needed at home urgently. I've said that when I have to leave places like, hey, I have to go. I have a family emergency for hotels and stuff because I travel so much. Oh, my God. And it's like they really won't argue with the family emergency for the most part. Any hotel, really. And so it sounds like she was trying to cancel his hotel room while he was there. I thought she was leaving a message for him like.

on like the hotel room voicemail like oh you can leave a message for someone but pretending to be me that makes more sense she was trying to cancel his hotel so he would have to come home yeah that's deranged that's deranged

That's insane. That's an episode of Dateline. That's a YouTube post-mortem. That's something's wrong. That's, I would- It's time to call it. Exit this relationship because this is, she also, if it doesn't, does he say how long after that this has been going on for now since he's been home? No, doesn't mention it. It sounds like this is something that like for the rest, like at your wedding-

she would bring up like to your sister or something like, oh yeah, I remember when he chose you over me and now we're getting married. Like it sounds like... It's going to go on forever. The original post is 17 days old. This update is coming 10 hours ago. Okay. It's Tuesday. So if I'm envisioning this timeline, I feel like... Probably like this past weekend. The wedding was this past Saturday. So it's been... A few days. Four days. Three days. Four days. I...

Now you're a big old age of 21. Okay. You should know. I know you got a few more years till your frontal lobe develops, but still it's no, I, I'd call, I'd call it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. And this is what a few days after, like, it's not even like it didn't, it didn't even like, she didn't even let it fester. She was just immediately like, actually, I mean, just the comment, I guess family is more important than I am. That's crazy.

Hope Jane's wedding was worth abandoning me. He didn't abandon you. Like if this was anything but a birthday, if she had a surgery that he said, I will take care of you after the surgery. If this was, hey, our dog is getting surgery, you know, hey, I'm scared of being home alone and we're going to have construction workers here. You know, any of that. It's like anything else other than a birthday. I think I would be like, OK, I can get like feeling hurt. Like, oh, we made this commitment. It's a

It's a birthday. It's a birthday. And his sister got married. And this is going to be potentially your future sister-in-law. And you can't have any form of perspective. Yeah, no, no. I'm sorry. He's not the asshole. He's not the asshole. But he does need to get out of this relationship, I think. Absolutely. Top comment on the update. There are more red flags in Lisa's behavior than at a communist party meeting. Get out while you can.

Next comment down. More red flags than a minesweeper on hard. If that ain't the truth, that little game was a bitch. Communist party meeting. Damn, that person really... They popped off. They popped off. I'm concerned for him. I think he needs to go into WITSEC. Yeah, it's...

Yeah. I think it's time. I think he's out. I think it's out. You tested your relationship. You tried. You tried. This was the test that broke the camel's back because she couldn't have a birthday dinner with her friends and not you. Yeah. Yeah. No. And then she... I don't know. It doesn't even sound like she did the birthday because there's no talk of the birthday. No. I'm trying to look at OP's comments to see if there's anything crucial we're missing. Yeah.

Not any mention of breaking up yet. Well, it's been 10 hours. It's only been 10 hours. By the end of us recording, there will be an update. I know.

OP does mention that, like, she doesn't really have that many friends. She actually only has a few friends. I mean, there are many, but they aren't that close with her. The reason she says is it's because of me. She keeps me in priority. So she eventually gives less time to her friends.

That's not healthy. That's no. OK, yeah. Cut it. Cut it. Because also that's putting pressure onto you to be her whole world because she has no support system outside of you. Yeah. Which is also just not healthy in general to not have any form of a support system outside of your partner. No. There is a comment OP responds to here. So someone says that's emotional manipulation. And once again, a red flag.

And OP says, yeah, maybe. By the way, I ain't denying, so stop downvoting me. I don't know why, but I just fall for her so easily. Because she's hot, I'm assuming. Just sounds like toxic. It's that vicious cycle of just not a healthy relationship. He mentioned seducing or whatever, and so I'm just like, I need you to think without your penis for five minutes and think about, you know, the desire to stay out of a body bag. Like, I need you to think...

With that mental, like that elevated level of thinking of like, how can I get to tomorrow? Because this is concerning. And yeah, I would, I think ending this. The desire to stay out of a body bag. That is beautiful.

Seriously, that is where we're inching towards. Yeah. It's these are not just like this isn't like key or car. This is scary behavior, I think. Oh, I I think this even if they break up, I think he's going to have to keep his head on a swivel for a while. Wish him the best. Yes.

Another one of this week's partners is Ro. Everyone just wants to feel good in their own skin. And if you're someone like me who's always just been super conscious of their body and how they feel, you've probably heard about Wegovi, Ozempic, and all the other things out there. And you've probably heard that they're expensive and hard to get. Well, that's where Ro comes in.

Through Rho, you can access prescription compounded GLP-1s with the same weight loss ingredient as brand name GLP-1s at a fraction of the cost. With Rho, they are in stock now and you can get in one to four days if you qualify. My favorite part about Rho though is you get support throughout this whole process. You have access to your provider on demand to answer any questions you might have or talk about what the experience is like. Get help if you need it. And you can start Rho and see if you qualify all from the comfort of your home. So if you're ready to try it for yourself, go to Rho.com.

co slash tht memberships start at just 99 for your first month medication costs are separate that's ro.co slash tht go to row.co slash safety for black box warning and full safety information compounded medication is not required to and does not receive fda review or approval rx only okay friends trigger warning for this next one it does contain talks of animal abuse animal death

and some serious mental health issues. So please do not take this trigger warning lightly and skip ahead. Timestamps are in the description on YouTube if you want to just go to the next story. Okay, thank you.

This is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It is titled, Am I the asshole for not letting my psychopath little sister see my dog? There's a lot here. I'm going to go with no. For context, I, 25 female, recently moved out of my parents' house. My little sister, 13 female, has always stole my parents' attention and in numerous occasions has proven to have psychopathic behaviors.

For example, she has killed numerous family pets. My dad always has wanted to punish her, but my mom defended her, saying that, quote, she just didn't know any better.

Now, a year ago, I got my first pet. His name was Arlo. He was a golden retriever rescue dog, and he lived with me while I searched for apartments. He was about five years old, but he was my best friend. I have never been the one to have the biggest friend group, so taking Arlo out every day was what got me out of bed every morning. One day, I arrived at my parents' house after work, but I didn't hear Arlo's distinctive bark.

I thought the worst. So I ran to my room where Arlo was shaking and whining in agony. My sister had arrived after school and wanted to use Arlo as a pony, ending up in a broken spine. In summary, Arlo ended up being buried in our backyard a few hours later. Again, my mom didn't do anything and said, quote, she's just a kid. Let her do what she wants.

A few days ago, my maternal aunt gifted me a Labrador puppy, which I named Buzz. I posted a story on Instagram, but my family saw it, and now my mom can't stop texting me that my sister wants to meet him. I told her that she won't be seeing him anytime soon. My mom didn't stop insisting, so I ended up blocking her. Yesterday, I woke up, and my dog was barking at my face. Turns out my mom had taken my sister out of school so that she could meet my puppy.

I didn't open the door, but a few minutes later, my sister grabbed her school lunch, banging on my window and almost breaking it. I told my mom to control her daughter, but she didn't respond and only stood there, watching the chaos unload. I had to call the cops to get them to go away. My dog was terrified, and I was too.

Am I the asshole? No. Oh, my God. Oh, absolutely not. No, absolutely not. Oh, my God. With. OK, my brother's not 13. He's 22, 23. But I also it would be if he had done something like I love my brother. If he had done something that if anyone had done something that directly led to the harm of my dog, let alone me having to bury my dog a couple hours later.

This is being recorded. You wouldn't find them. Like, you wouldn't find this human being anymore. This is a child. This is a 13-year-old. But if this has happened to numerous pets and then to this person's pet as well, something is...

psychologically wrong with the child at that point forget even being a psychopath I don't know if there's any other impulse control issues anything else that might be attesting to this the fact that the mom is like actively like no no no this could end up in a situation where like this child ends up killing their mom like not to go so dramatic with this you're gonna need to put a lot of trigger warnings on this I know um

This is horrific. Yeah. You might need a restraining order against your sister at this point. And your mother, because your mother just, hey, I moved away. This is my dog. My sister killed my dog. And now I've moved away and I have a new puppy and you are now going to force me to put my dog around my sister? No. No. That's insane. I'm blown away by this one. Like a 13 year old and then the mom just enabling her like,

Ma'am, do you not see that your daughter just killed another family pet? Hey, you know, five years old accidentally kills a goldfish. That's a different story than 13 years old and trying to ride a golden retriever thinking it's a goddamn horse. Absolutely not.

Hell fucking no. I'm so happy for OP that she's able to have her own apartment now and get out of this fucking house. Yeah. And I think you are absolutely right. I think it is time for a restraining order. Yeah. These people are unhinged. The mom pulled her out of school so she can go meet this puppy. Yeah.

Because she was hoping that she would not be at her apartment, I bet. That's during the work day. That's during the school day. She was hoping her daughter would not be at the apartment where the dog was. And what are they going to do? Break in to meet this dog? It sounds like she was banging on the door with the lunchbox. Why is this mom so scared of giving her kid a consequence? You're going to be the...

going to be the reason she kills someone and then calls you to help hide the body. Some people are deranged. Some parents are deranged. I don't talk to one of my parents. This is a total tangent. But like literally it's the same thing where it's like, oh no, okay, I need to make sure I keep my one kid happy because my other kid won't speak to me. It's like that same thing. So they would let other siblings get away with so much. Yeah, golden child versus scapegoat.

goat mentality. Yeah. Yes. Fully. And so it's like, okay, well, but also I think there are so many parents, cause I've seen this so much now, especially as someone who was like cut off ties with a parent. There are parents who their whole goal in life is to only be seen as a good parent. And so their whole thing, it's like, no, no, no. If I admit that they're doing something wrong, that's me failing as a parent. And it's like, but you're enabling this behavior to continue versus admitting that something is wrong. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's like your child needs therapy. Your child needs psychological help of some sort. Yeah. Because also I'm really hung up on multiple family pets being done. Because like that's that's a lot. And then, you know, also it sounds like is this all over the sports fan of like so she lost her first dog.

And then within a year she got the puppy. And so it's like, okay, so this child is either 12 or 13. It doesn't matter. This is a tween. This is a young teenager. You know, this is, that's insane. I mean, I think to have a body count attached to your age of 13 is crazy. And I'm like, I'm thinking, I'm like, at what age do you know not to hurt animals?

I think at 13 or 12, by that point, you know. Yeah, I feel like toddlers. We see these videos all the time of a toddler grabbing a cat too much. It's like, no, don't do that. Gentle hands, whatever. Yeah. You know, we see that all the time. By 13, you know the consequences of like life and death. Yeah. Good and bad. Maybe not fully like in your being, but you know, oh, if I hurt, if I hit the dog, it will hurt them. Yeah. This, if I,

If I get on top of the dog, it will hurt them. Like you understand that thought process a little bit. Dude, I want her to get attacked by a dog so bad. I want a dog to just like run from the middle of nowhere on a street and just bite her. Yeah.

Maybe scare her away from dogs forever. I don't want to wish harm on a child, like a 13-year-old. But at the same time, I'll wish harm. A bite? A bite? A bite something. Just a bite. Something. I'm not hoping she gets hit by a car, but I hope she gets bit by something to where she maybe respects animals a little more. To hurt a golden retriever to the point that she broke. We good. I'm like, okay, I'm hearing myself now. I'm like, I'm on hit.

No, you're okay. I'm just so pissed. I know. No, to hurt a dog to the point where it's like you broke their spine. Yeah. Is especially a golden retriever. They're big fucks. Like that takes so much. That's so disgusting. Well, you know, the dog was like trying to probably run away. I know. And like.

I know. But also the dog is five and probably like she said he was from a shelter. So he probably was just like, oh no, I'm going to get hurt again. Because like you don't know what this dog has been through before. I'm going to start crying. I know. Oh God. Yeah, no, I take it back. Yeah, this kid needs to get bit by a dog or something. Actually, I want this kid nowhere near a dog. I don't want this kid to get anywhere near the chance for a dog to bite them because I want them to be away from animals for the rest of time. I wonder if that's something that you could actually get

put on someone's driver's license. Like, you know, on the back of a driver's license, it's like, can't drive at night. Can't be around dogs. Can't be around animals. Like, I wonder if that's something you could actually like press charges and have that put on their record and then it's attached to them. Technically, yes, because it's kind of like, like if someone's on parole or something, it's like, oh, you can't be seen around, you know, uh,

felons or anything like that. Like that is something that they can like that could be a break in your parole or things like that. But it would come to the point of I think having to go to like be convicted of something or be plead guilty to something. I think. Opinion suppress charges.

Top comment. You need to report this to the authorities. Your sister is abusing pets and your parents are letting her. Next, they'll probably get another dog and she'll terrorize it. Please report them to animal shelters and or breeders in the area so they can't get another dog. And put cameras around your home. Make sure your doors and windows are locked. And don't tell your family where you take the dog for walks. And don't take the dog to family events because your sister will hurt him. Yeah. Yeah, it's...

And that's the thing where it's like, sometimes I'm like, okay, I think some people are being paranoid because I'm very much a paranoid person. I fully am like, okay, what's the worst possible case scenario? Let's operate as if that's true. You have evidence that your sister is a danger to pets. This isn't paranoia. This isn't, oh, she threw our cat one time and it landed on its feet. Like you have a direct, she rode him like a pony and it broke his spine and then we had to bury my dog. Like that is direct evidence.

that your sister is a violence, is a terror to animals and is exhibiting psychopathic behavior. You absolutely need cameras. You need a restraining order, frankly, right at the vet, especially against your parents because your parents are enabling that behavior and it's, especially if they, yeah, I agree, report them. I honestly want her to move and like not share the address. I've done that. I highly recommend it. Don't tell your parents that you're not in contact with that you, where you live. I'm full for it. Yeah, move and do not share. Do it.

So people are questioning like you actually thought you were the asshole. And OP responds, I actually thought I might be because when speaking to my brother, who's in college, by the way, he said that he agreed with me, but maybe it was too harsh on calling the cops. Sorry for not being specific.

There is a little bit of a edit that OP put in the comments. Hi, I just posted this a few hours ago, but I thought I might clarify a few things a lot of you asked me about. One, we live in South Hemisphere and my little sister just got out of winter break from school. She's not on summer vacation until early December. Two,

The pets that my sister had killed until now were numerous hamsters, fish, and a baby chick my brother got for his birthday. I left Arlo at home, locked in a space only I could access in the backyard. My mom-slash-sister somehow got the keys to the gate, and my sister rode him in the backyard.

Three, my dad is a pilot. That's why we don't see him around that often. From what I know, my dad is trying to get a divorce from her and full custody of my sister. Four, before burying him, my dad did take Arlo to the vet with me where they discovered the spine injury. Then I confronted my mom where she admitted my sister sitting on his back.

I'll update soon. I also bought a ring camera and I'm searching for a new apartment. Okay. Yay. Progress. Fantastic. No, but that makes more sense because I was like the fact that he knew to go and hide in her room like after he got out of the gate after the sister hurt him. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's like

Oh God, sorry. I'm going to start crying again. I know this is just a really, I'm things are not okay. I told you. No, things are, you need trigger warnings on this whole thing. I do think you need to call someone. I think you need, especially cause regardless of whether or not your parents are trying to get a divorce or your dad's not there or not at this point, it's like your sister needs psychological help. There needs to be a record of something because like, I think that's,

One thing, the last thing that you want is to hear, oh, well, the neighbor's dog, something happened in the neighbor's dog, but they don't know who. And it's like, okay, but if you would put a record of this in, then they would know that your sister has a history of this. And it's like, I'm sorry, just because when she was younger, smaller animals, yeah, that makes sense. That is still a history of behavior of causing the death of a living thing. Absolutely. Fish, hamster, chick, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. That's crazy.

That's a lot of animals. Yeah. That's multiple hamsters. I mean, one goldfish, like, I get it. Stuff happens. If you change the water too fast, they can blub up and die. Like, betta fish are crazy. My brother once put our betta fishes in two separate tanks next to each other. My fish jumped out of the tank because I was trying to fight the other one. I was on a girl's boat. Betta fish are so nuts. They're so weird. What was crazy is when I— How do they even reproduce if they hate each other so much? I don't know. It's so weird. How are they around still? It's insane. It's insane.

I think you need to report something. Absolutely. And get it attached to her little dumb ass record. Yeah. Yeah. Something. Or even like, I don't know. I don't know. Summer Southern Hemisphere. I don't know if that means Australia or like Mexico, Panama or something. Yeah. But like, what if there's like a class pet or something? Like, I would honestly tell the school. That's a good idea. Actually, maybe you don't want to take it to the step of calling the authorities. But like, I would alert the school like,

Hi, I am her sister. People need to be aware. Yeah. What if she goes to a friend's house with pets? Yeah. Like people need to be aware. This is not okay. But also at that point when you go to the school, if it's something like that, I think, well, at least here in the U.S. Because usually they have to at least have like a school therapist or something talk to someone. So at the very least, you would ensure that she is getting some form of professional help to some capacity.

It sounds bad. There might, I don't know what child support, child protective services would be involved in something like that. But like there needs, something needs to be done because this is at the very least your mother is enabling this insane behavior. She needs help. They all need help. But yeah, especially this little girl. I think that's a great idea because schools are also mandated reporters.

Typically, again, we don't know exactly where Southern Hemisphere is very broad. Yeah. And so I'm I'm hoping that if Opie did report to the school or keep like going down this track of like reporting to the police to get a restraining order and all of these things like someone within that system systems would have a way to get this little girl some psychiatric help. Mm hmm.

Wow. Yeah. Okay, going away from this. I need some liquid. I know. God, there's no other updates on the account. Last comment from OP was 20 days ago. So we will keep our eyes peeled, everyone. Another one of this week's partners is Shopify. Cha-ching!

Selling merch before Shopify was hard. I didn't know I had to charge sales tax depending on each state. I didn't know how to ship these orders. I had to print my own labels and put them on. Just no. It was too much. I start using Shopify to get merch to you guys, and now it's a breeze. I barely think about it. And you could use Shopify for your business too. You can sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash THT.

all lowercase. And if you need any more convincing, Shopify is the number one checkout on the planet. They have shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts are going to get abandoned and you're going to get more business. So no matter what stage you're in, growing, selling, ready to get a store, check out Shopify. So upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash THT.

all lowercase, go to shopify.com slash THT to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash THT. Unwell. Not swell. Not swell. Not swell at all. Not swell. This next one, I'm like, oh God, do I rearrange? Maybe I rearrange and give us a little something more, you know, monotonous. Okay. More typical. All right. It's not going to be light. That's fine. But

They never are. I do have a palate cleanser at the end, though. So, you know, if you can't handle the rest, just skip to the end. It does get a little better. This one is four days old, coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It is titled, Am I the Asshole? My husband has ruined my birthday two years in a row, and this was the last straw in our marriage. Ooh.

My husband, 29, and I, 32, have been married for eight years. We have four boys, ages four and under, so our life is extremely busy. I'm a stay-at-home mom who babysits other children for money, and I'm in school full-time. My husband works seven to one, Monday through Friday, and does nothing to help around the house and spends little to no time with our boys. My husband works seven to one, Monday through Friday, and does nothing to help around the house and spends little to no time with our boys.

I take care of our boys, the house, and everything in between while in school. So my downtime is little to none. Well, last year, my husband completely forgot about my birthday. And I had to tell him at 3 p.m. that he forgot about it. And I got a pity party dinner that was crap because the kids were just screaming the whole time while he sat there and enjoyed his meal and left me to the mess.

Well, today is my birthday and all I asked for was a break. I didn't even want to go out to dinner because I knew it was just going to be me trying to keep the children chill and quiet while out. So instead, I asked for a break and to order in dinner so I had literally nothing to do. Well, he gets off of work, comes home and just goes to sleep.

He left me to deal with the kids. On top of it, I had to do our budget just to see if we could afford dinner and grabbing the food. I ended up just making the boys dinner and that's it. So then he calls me petty and a child because I didn't make him food.

I also refuse to talk to him, and I'm done giving in to talking it out because he is never wrong. Our marriage is already shitty with infidelity. He belittles me, and the way he treats me is honestly terrible. But I'm trying to at least stick it out until I have a degree and can support my boys. But I don't know how much longer I can take it anymore and being treated this way.

But am I the asshole for this being my last straw? No, because I think that this is again, I don't think you're the asshole because I think that this is the story we hear all the time of guys being like, I don't know why she wants a divorce. Everything was fine.

And it's like that tolerable level of unhappiness that they see in women a lot with marriages. And it sounds like, yeah, the day to day is what's driving you crazy. But you asked for one thing for your birthday and he couldn't give you that. And then he made it his problem by being like, you were being petty because you didn't make me food. That's insane.

Like, did he forget again that it's her birthday? And no, I think it just he doesn't care about her. He thinks I don't have to do anything because he's never had to is what it sounds like. It's the day to day. It's everything. And then I'm sorry. The she brushed past the infidelities a lot. I know. Which I was like, that's a reason alone. Yeah. No. Yeah. I deserve that. That. And then it's.

Yeah, because he doesn't it's like no, it's not a big deal. You're making a big deal out of the fact that I cheated on you It's like oh it was this it was one time, you know, like it was whatever and it's like no No, that's added up and it's everything together. So yes, this is the breaking point because it's like no. No, I'm done It's the one dinner. It's the one tube of toothpaste not being replaced. It's

it's usually something small like that, but it's not that. No. You know? It just finally, I think you have those moments where after suffering for so long, after making excuses or putting up with it, you have that one moment of clarity that just takes the blinders off. And you're finally like, it's that hallelujah moment where it's just like,

And you just see everything for what it actually is. No, this person doesn't love me because if they did, they would help with the kids. Why did he even want kids? He's not a participant in their life at all.

When she said the ages, I started doing math in my head. I was like, this sounds suspicious. Four boys under four. Yeah. And then she's been pregnant for the last four years. Constantly. Yeah. Getting pregnant immediately after that waiting period. Yeah.

That's so stressful. The stress on your body alone and then trying to finish up school while doing that. And babysitting other kids for extra money. Like, what isn't she doing? Yeah. No, I'd leave him. I'm sorry. I'd leave him in a heartbeat. She's a single parent as it is. Yeah. All it would be is that you would, it sounds bad, if anything, you would force him to be an active participant because a judge might mandate it. Yeah.

Yeah. Who is going to take care of the kids if you have 50-50 custody? Yeah. He's responsible for those kids then. Yeah. And there's no one there to step in. You're not going to be there. Yeah. That's like, I know this shouldn't be the reason why...

guys step up or other parents step up but you look at that first story we had where he's like my girlfriend's not acting like a girlfriend yeah i now have to take care of my kid yeah this is the same thing you're gonna have to take care of your kid yeah be a good partner be in it 50 50 otherwise you're gonna have to be 100 50 of the time yeah and i'll tell you right now you're always gonna get it easier with another person in that house with you come on

Yeah. I don't think you're the asshole. I think it might feel – I'm assuming she's feeling guilty and petty about like am I being – am I overthinking this birthday thing? No. But it's like it's not the birthday thing. No. And I hope one day you realize that, that it's not the birthday thing. But it's just what – I hope you find a lovely therapist who helps you work through some of these feelings. And I hope you find a great divorce lawyer. Fantastic one. I'm so mad. And –

I'm sure she loves her kids, but four under four just sounds like such a handful. Oh, gosh. I went to go see if there's any other comments from Opie and someone was like, please don't have any more kids with him. And Opie does share one positive. We are both snipped. So not possible, thankfully. Just never have sex with him again, though, honestly. Yeah. Why? Why? He doesn't deserve it. Yeah. Also, how do we know if he could be lying about being snipped? I don't know. I don't trust this man at all. I don't trust him.

Top comment. You don't have four kids. You have five. The oldest one is just an entitled man baby. He is completely selfish and has no respect for you at all. Think about it like this. If he was gone, would you have more work around the house or less? If the answer is less, then you don't have a partner. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I agree. I think you again, it's I think so much of, you know, especially situations like this. It's like it's the the birthday is making you realize like you're recontextualizing everything you've been through. Yeah. And it's like it's questions like that. What happens to your like, would it be easier for you to go through school if you were divorced? Would it be easier for you at this point? I know. Because you're not taking care of a fifth kid.

Well, and it's like he honestly sounds like he's got great hours. He works Monday to Friday, 7 to 1. Yeah. Come home, take a power nap, but still spend time with his family. Yeah. And then get good sleep and no weekends. Like, yeah, this sounds amazing. Yeah. And yet he's not contributing. Yeah. No. Again, lemonade style bat to the PlayStation. Yeah. Like.

I just know it's one of those things as well, because it's like I it's not so much 50. Like, what's an equitable work? Like, you know, it's like, yeah, if I was with someone and they worked crazy hours, of course, I'm going to end up doing more of the housework because they're gone all the time, you know, and I work from home like that just makes sense. But it's like, yeah, he's home. You're in school and she's doing extra work on the side and he's dicking around like it's that's ridiculous. And on her. Yeah. So I get it. I get it. It's funny. There's a lot of there's a birthday theme happening.

happening i know you realize that we have that like happens every episode i feel like i pick a theme but there's like secretly another underlying theme yeah i kind of love how they come about yeah he's not swell i hope you leave him yeah we don't have any updates yet um i mean this is this is really fresh this is do you ever comment on your own subreddit oh yeah oh yeah sometimes i can't hold back um and if you're listening divorce divorce divorce divorce

Think about it this way as well, because I, as someone whose parents are divorced. OK, I think a lot of people like to think like, oh, kids are young, especially having four under four. I think people think like, oh, these kids don't realize like how bad that I'm unhappy, that the marriage is unhappy, whatever. I think kids internalize a lot more than people realize. Absolutely. And so I think you'd rather would you rather your kids see you unhappy and stressed out constantly or, you know.

not taking care of, you know, their father as well. And, you know, the chance for both of you to be happy, honestly, because he's he's happy because you're unhappy right now is what it sounds like. And that's no way to go through life. No. And I think honestly, maybe he's trying to

push her to the edge of like, ah, well, it won't be my fault then if she asks for a divorce. Like, he could be instigating this. And I think you make a great point that like, yes, they are under four, but kids are so intuitive. And a comment here kind of piggybacks off what you're saying. I'm also concerned about the example he's showing her boys. It won't be long until they start imitating him and treating her the same way. She should get out before that starts taking root.

Because they're all boys, right? All boys. Four boys is crazy. Were you hoping for a girl? Because I feel like they probably were. At that point, and I get it's expensive, but like...

I would just want to Petri dish it. Like I'm not taking no chances. Adoption. Adoption is beautiful. Yes. No, it's yeah. You that's the risk you take. I think as well as it's like kids start mimicking. I'm sure she sees this as well. Like that's why she's the one that has he's it's kind of like that one. There was this one clip I think perfectly exhibits this and it was a

a girl and a guy eating dinner and it's like they have the dogs in the living room with them while they're eating on the couch and it's like oh can you tell which one of us gives shares food with the dogs and it's like she's eating no problem and the dogs are just staring there like him like all up in a space waiting for him to give them a piece of pizza and it's like the same thing it's like he they know they're not going to get attention from their dad at dinner that's why you have to be wrangling them

the entire time. And so he's able to eat no problem. And that's going to flip at some point where they will see this behavior and see this end officiousness. And it's like, like what type of kids do you want your, your kids to grow into? What type of adults do you want them to grow into? Do you want them to grow into someone like their father? And if the answer is no, I think you need a divorce. Yeah. I think you need a divorce. I would say immediately because someone does point out here and I don't know how true this is. I'm not a child psychologist, whatever. Um,

But someone does say some things are pretty set by age six. I would want them away from him well before that. So it's like we're kind of in a crucial window here. They're little sponges. Yeah. They're soaking it all up. It's time. Yeah, absolutely. And I understand like

You know, she might not have the luxury of being able to do it on her own, but you might. You might actually... She basically is, though. It sounds like he's contributing a paycheck, which I know is a lot. That's not nothing. But, like, he's not contributing anything emotionally. No. But also, like...

You know, if you do get divorced, hopefully the judge will allocate a decent amount of child support. Maybe you'll get spousal support based on his income. You have the babysitting other kids for money. Yeah. And you're going to be done with school hopefully very soon. Like, yeah, I get that sometimes leaving a bad situation is, you know, it's not always accessible because of financial abuse or finances. But I think.

I think it can be done here. Like you are a hustler. It sounds like you're really trying to make your way in life. And I think you could do this. And if you're in a communal property state, 50-50. You don't need a prenup. You should get a prenup still. I'm pro-prenup. But yes, like California is a 50-50 state split down the middle pretty much. So it's like you wouldn't leave with nothing for the most part. Yeah. I don't know about what state you're in, obviously. But yeah, pro-divorce. Pro-divorce.

We're going to have to keep our eyes peeled on this one. Please update us, OP, if you're out there listening. Wishing you so well because you truly do deserve it. This is unacceptable. Unacceptable. Think about it this way. Do you want him in your graduation photos when you graduate school? Do you want him in those photos or do you just want your kids in those photos? Think about that.

I think that's a good barometer, too. It's like, would you feel cheated if he was in those photos with you and he hasn't supported you at all? Yeah, because it's like you're taking away my my my day, my my shine on my day. You did nothing to help get me here. Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah. This is why you go watch Amanda's stuff. It's just all the time, all the time.

One of this week's partners is ZocDoc. Adulting definitely has its high points, like eating cookies in bed at midnight. Definitely a high point. But having to call and make your own doctor's appointments or finding a doctor, not a high point. Which is where ZocDoc comes in. They're

going to make it a high point again. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, and much more. Every one

my life has found at least one of their providers on ZocDoc and we love the way that we know exactly who that provider is before we even walk in the door. Thanks to the real patient reviews on ZocDoc, I scour those reviews almost better than Reddit to make sure that the doctor I'm going to go see is actually worth my time. They're going to listen to me, help me figure out what's going on and actually care, have a good bedside manner, not make me feel worse than I did when I walked in the door. So

So if you're ready to try for yourself and stop putting off those doctor's appointments, go to ZocDoc.com slash THD to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash THD. ZocDoc.com slash THD. Okay, so I'm going to give you a choice on this last actual story. Okay. So...

We have a choice between this one titled, I've been spending time with a good friend more recently, but I think he's only doing it so he can look at my daughter. Okay. Or, am I the asshole for not giving my sister who eloped as generous as a gift as my sister who had a traditional wedding? I'm going to judge both people, but...

And you just know people are out there just screaming, Amanda, pick number blank. Okay. I want, I, I, there's a child safety at risk. So we're going to do the first one. Okay. Okay. We're going to focus on that one versus the, especially because I mentioned a low. Yeah.

had some wedding ones already. Yeah, we've done some weddings. Okay. I think this is going to be the first one. Okay. So this post is coming from r slash advice. Okay. Again, titled I've been spending time with a good friend more recently, but I think he's only doing it so he can look at my daughter.

The last few months, I've been chatting to a friend more regularly than previous. We've been friends for over a decade, and we used to be really close, but we slowly drifted apart. I should probably mention that we are both men in our 40s. It's been great catching up with him, and honestly, I really needed a friend, so it's just been great. He's got a long-term girlfriend and two young children.

A couple of months ago, we visited his house for the first time. He recently moved, and we weren't speaking much before that, just an occasional comment on Facebook. And me, my 14-year-old son, and 20-year-old daughter spent a few hours honestly just chatting about nothing, but in a good way, you know?

While we were there, I noticed that he kept looking at my daughter out of the corner of his eye. I never really caught him fully looking, so I didn't think much of it, especially as he has known my kids for over a decade.

I didn't mention it to my daughter as I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable if it was nothing. A couple of months went past and we visited them again. He kept talking to my daughter and not really me, which is fine, but it just seemed odd when my daughter has really bad anxiety and she can't really hold a conversation and she makes it clear when she's uncomfortable talking. He just seemed to keep looking at her and talking. Even if he was talking to me, he would just look at her.

The final straw was last week. We visited them, and we've been having a heat wave, so we were all dressed in as minimal as possible. My daughter in a thin pair of skorts and a t-shirt. My son in a pair of athletic shorts and a gym top. And me in a polo shirt and white chino shorts. Nothing unusual. Just basic summer wear.

When we were all in conversation, he would look at my daughter. When anyone told a joke, he would smirk a little or give a small laugh depending. But if my daughter told something mildly funny, he would really laugh to the point that even she would look awkward. He kept dropping out of conversation and just staring at her.

I think she noticed it as well because she started to lean back in her chair to try to cover herself, even though she was fine. She looked uncomfortable. Then when the sun set, she put on a thick jacket and zipped it up.

I don't know if he's just trying to be friendly and he doesn't know how to act or if he's only inviting us around to stare at her. And if so, then I don't know what to do. Yes, she's 20, but she's still my little girl. And this man watched her grow up. It just seems strange. I don't know if I should say something or just don't go there again. Either way, I think it's the end of the friendship, which is a shame, but oh well.

Okay. Because like I'm really – my dad is one of my best friends. And he's in his 50s now. I'm 26. And he has a lot of older friends. And I've – especially when I used – before I was a YouTuber and that was like my full-time job, I did videography and editing work for his like events and things like that. And so without fail – because it would be like a lot of strangers, a lot of startup people –

they would just make comments about, oh, you've got all these hot young people working for you. And it's like, cool, I'll tell my daughter and my girlfriend's niece that you said that. Like, I'll be sure to tell them that you said that. And then I would hear comments like, too bad, that's his daughter and things like that throughout the event afterwards. And people then still would be like, oh, are we gonna get a beer after this? I'm like, no. Like, I would be like 20. I'd be 20, 19, whatever, making comments to me like this throughout the time. Like, too bad, that's his daughter. And it's like, and I would tell my dad, I'm like,

Hi, you need to say something or I will. And I have anxiety, but not when it comes to weird older men. OK, I will fully make you feel uncomfortable. She clearly is not that way. And so before he does anything else, I would first talk with my daughter. Yeah, I would not with your son. They're not in a group setting. Maybe. Hey, let's do a little father daughter ice cream day. Let's go out. You know, let's go do something. OK, because she clearly lives at home or something at the very least, which is very common these days to be 20 and living at home, I think. And.

I would just like bring it up. It's like, oh, hey, like, what do you think of like, don't bring it up. Like, do you have a weird vibe? I mean, like that. But I would be like, how do you feel about, you know, so and so he wants to like do dinner again soon. Like, how do you feel about him? Like,

him. Like, are you, do you guys, do you guys like, do you and your brother like hang out with him? Have you heard your brother say anything? Maybe put it on like the brother, the son, something like that, you know? And yeah, I would, I would bring it up to the daughter because if she, if you are clocking that your daughter is uncomfortable, then I think as a parent, regardless of how old she is, you need to do something. You need to say something.

You know, if you just want to like not be friends anymore and it's just that totally cool. But like, I think you have a duty to, you know, at the very least check in with your daughter and protect your daughter. Yeah, absolutely. Especially because if you're both in your forties and she's 20, like, yeah, it doesn't matter that she's an adult. Clearly you are clocking. There is, she is uncomfortable. There is anxiety. There is a power imbalance. And yeah,

this man is also married with kids. Yeah. Even if it's not something like, oh, I'm actively pursuing something. He's like, oh, well, you know, I get to go see my friend. I get to go stare at his hot daughter is what it seems like at the very least, which is weird. That's the thing. I'm with you. I think he needs to talk to her because if he is clocking it, it's weird. Yeah. Automatically. Like, yeah, I think a lot of stuff can fly under the radar and.

I don't want to generalize too much, but I would say because of things

things that typically women will go through in terms of hearing comments or fearing for their safety or being, you know, followed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We are more aware to stuff. We have more of our head on a swivel. We might trust our gut a little bit more on those things. So the fact that this guy is picking it up. First off, you're a good dad for clocking this, by the way, and acknowledging that your daughter's uncomfortable because I have seen a lot of instances where it's like, oh, your daughter's clearly uncomfortable and you're doing nothing.

Nothing. They will even feed into it sometimes. So the fact that he is clocking it, I think shows how bad it actually is. He might even be downplaying it in here. Yeah. And the fact that she's wearing skorts and a T-shirt, a T-shirt, and she still feels the need to put a thick jacket on and zip it up. Yeah. Cool.

uncomfortable. Yeah. Clearly. And also like how often do dads clock what their daughters are wearing? Like you clock that enough to know that it was something that is because she was uncomfortable. Yeah. Like it's hot and it's summer. You're all wearing light clothes and you clock that you put on a jacket. Yeah. She clearly felt exposed. She felt uncomfortable. Absolutely. You acknowledge that she was dressed fine which is irrelevant obviously. It doesn't matter how she was dressed but

And then also, I'm sorry, does he have kids and he's just hanging out with you guys without his kids is what it sounds like? I know it's interesting because he mentions he has two young children. Yeah. Long-term girlfriend. I don't know if they're running around. I don't know if it's just you. I also like, I like that you're including your kids and kind of making this a family outing. But like, I'm surprised the daughter hasn't found an excuse to not go. Yeah. Because like, and not that that should be on her by any means. But like, I just like...

I'm just, I'm mystified, I think, by the whole situation. Yeah. But I think definitely talk to your daughter privately in a, I think in a public place versus like doing it at home, you know, like not like it sounds, I know that makes sounds counterintuitive, like, oh, in a private place, like at home or something like that. But like, I think it's like, oh no, like let's go do something fun. Let's go get ice cream. Let's go get a coffee, you know, something like that, whatever, like just the two of you. So it's like, nope,

No pressure, really. I love that. Yeah, because it's like maybe she doesn't know if you'll like be like because she could tell you something that could be upsetting. You don't know if like maybe he has tried messaging her on Facebook. Oh my God, my mind hasn't even gone there. Or has tried contacting her privately. That's the thing that would be my concern. It's like this is what he's doing in front of you. What could he be doing when he thinks...

she she won't tell you something yeah and she could maybe because she knows you this is your friend she may be worried to tell you something oh and then right maybe just something like you know oh like uh i know we've been spending a lot of time with so and so you know yeah uh are you okay with that like how do you how do you and your brother like him like and then maybe kind of flip it as like you would tell me if something like if there was something going on yeah i honestly i feel like

knowing him and he seems like such a good dad I think he could have like a very serious conversation like I love this coffee or ice cream make it feel light no pressure but I would say hey like I just want to let you know like I've been kind of getting a weird vibe from Dan yeah I'm probably not going to continue my friendship with him mm-hmm

Do not feel that this is on you. But I've been feeling uncomfortable. You know, I've kind of noticed his behavior being a little weird. Yeah. What are your thoughts on that? Yeah. And see where she takes it. Yeah. Because, I mean, there have been Reddit stories where we do have...

the daughter start dating a dad's friend or we do have this girl who's young in her 20s date her friend's dad. We've had these stories. So we don't know if this is something she likes or if she's feeling uncomfortable and maybe just got awkward that her dad might be seeing it. Yeah. So we don't really know. So I think I think OP could really just be like,

I'm getting weird vibes. Like, yeah. What are your thoughts? As your father, I've noticed this and I've seen how you react. I just want to make sure you're good. Yeah. Are you okay? Do you feel safe? Yes. I don't want you to keep going over to his house if you feel uncomfortable. Yeah. I don't want him in my home where you live. If you feel like the last thing I want to do as your father is make you feel uncomfortable, bring someone into your space that you're not happy with, please let me know. Yeah. I think that's first and foremost, you got to talk to your daughter, I think. Absolutely.

Top comment on this post. Trust your gut. It sounds like this guy's around for all the wrong reasons. Also, who just stares at someone like that as the whole situation seems creepy and way out of line. Definitely best to keep your kids safe around this guy and cut off contact. At least that's what I would do. Next.

That is a good test.

Because it doesn't sound like, like it just sounds like, oh yeah, we're back in the same area. So we started hanging out again. Like it does seem like this is one of those, what I call circumstantial friendships. It's like the class, the friendships you have in school. Like, oh, it's like, oh yes, in this period, we are best friends because our desks are right next to each other. But after graduation, we will never see each other again.

You know, it's kind of like, oh, yeah, we're back in the same area. So we're friends again. If he doesn't want to just go to the gym or go get coffee with you or like, you know, whatever throughout like, oh, I'm going to work. Can you go do this? Sure. If he's not going to do that because your daughter's not there, you know, something is. And, you know. Yeah. Immediately. Immediately. And immediately run. Yeah. Yeah. We have an update. Oh, God. OK. All right. I haven't read it. OK. I did not know it existed until.

I just searched. All right, let's do it. So this original post is 10 days old. Okay. Getting into his comments is how I found this update. And it looks like the update is coming two days later. So the update is eight days old. Okay. Oh,

Update from my last post. I spoke to my daughter about the whole thing and wanted to know what she thought about it all because I didn't want to say anything if she didn't think it was odd. She told me that after the first time we saw him again a few months ago, he had appeared outside of her work after she finished her shift and asked if she wanted a lift home instead of getting the bus.

No, no, I'm sorry. With love, my dad's gonna hate me for saying this. My dad has this thing where if anything ever happened to me, he said, I would just make sure that I wasn't in the state when it happened, Amanda. Like he would just make sure that something would happen to this person and they would not, and he would not be in the state when it did happen. This would be one of those times. If he found out that his friend was doing things like this,

How does she know where she works? How does he know when she gets done? He's been sitting out there. He's been stalking her. How does he know she takes the bus? I get this could have all came up very innocently during conversation after the first time. After the, no, the first time. That's what's getting me. It's not like it's like, oh yeah, no, we've been. You don't have a relationship. No. This is stalker, crazy, scary. This is scary. This is scary. I just don't even. Oh my God. Okay. Okay. Okay.

She said that since he was a good friend of mine, she trusted him and got in the car. On the ride home, he repeatedly touched her leg and started talking about how much she's changed since he saw her last before we all met up and how much of an adult she looks like now. Okay. I feel sick. Okay. I love my dad. He would hit you with a car. He would hit this man with a car. Yeah, mine would go nuts. My dad would, it would be a problem. It would be

Oh my God. My dad, my dad really pops off. I don't know any of these people. I would do this. If I was, if I, oh God, if I was your coworker, I would hit this man with my car. Like I would. Oh my God. My dad on, and my dad's show is like very, we try to keep him like contained. Yeah. But he would say this man should get his dick hit with a hammer. Yeah. Yeah. He needs to be

What's that big word for castrated? Yes. He needs to be castrated. Yeah. Oh, my God. OK. OK. Oh, God, there's more. Is it too late to have a trigger warning? Like, please, if you get uncomfortable with any stuff of like

I don't know what's coming. Of me wishing harm on grown 40-year-old men who are preying on 20-year-olds. I don't care what anyone says because someone's going to harp on the fact that she's 20. Yeah. I don't care. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. She's 20 and the dad has made it very clear that she is uncomfortable with talking with people. She clearly has some social anxiety. She clearly is being put in a position that she even says...

Because he is such a good friend of my dad, I trusted him. That is how, that's how predators go after. He's a predator. Go ahead. If you find that any, maybe, I don't know what's in front of us. I really don't. So if you are maybe uncomfortable with talks of borderline grooming or potential essay, please just skip to the palate cleanser now because it's not going to be good. Okay.

So he told her she's growing into her body, quote, like a good girl. My daughter said that she would walk the rest of the way home because she didn't want to put him out too much. But he insisted on driving her all the way.

She said she kept moving away from him, but he was leaning to touch her knees. She said that at a red light not long before the house, he gave her his mobile number and texted himself from her phone and told her to call him if she ever wanted a lift or, quote, anything else. Then when she got home, she went to leave the car, but he grabbed her arm and

and asked her where his hug and kiss goodbye was. Not a new thing. He gives us all a hug every time. And when she leaned in, he held her tight and whispered that she should call him. I want to vomit.

Okay, continue. Go ahead. In the last few months since then, he has repeatedly been sending her explicit texts and images and waiting outside of her work asking her if she would like a lift home, even though every time she said no. She said she didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to upset me as he was the only friend I had.

I feel sick thinking about this. This is my daughter. She's 20, but she's still my little girl, and I feel like I've put her in danger. I've messaged him asking him to stop contacting my family, and I've sent him the screenshots from her phone as reasons why. But he is messaging me asking me why when she is an adult, and the only sleazy thing he's done is cheat on his girlfriend. As my daughter never physically said the words, "'Stop.'"

She just ignored him. I'm so angry at him and myself. I'm like shaking. I... Okay. I'm going to be put on a watch list. Which is... I mean... I'm definitely on several because of the content I've made. Yeah, no. Oh, God. I...

I'm so angry. Send it to his girlfriend. Send it to his ex-wife. Send all the screenshots. Hey, this is what he was doing to my daughter. Honestly, I know. Don't. I understand wanting to protect your daughter and not wanting to make it public. So, like, don't post it publicly. I know you're obviously posting about this here. But, like, the messages you should tell his girlfriend, you should tell his ex-wife because, like,

not to say that he would do anything to his own children but like this is someone who is making engaging predator behavior i also think depending on where he works like it might be justifiable to notify his work like i i would say like if this man is a high school teacher like yes this is a 20 year old yeah but he's almost finding the perfect victim that plausible deniability that oh well she never said no she's legal she never said no so if it's not a yes it's a no okay it's

And also, again, I feel so bad for this girl because she clearly felt like she couldn't tell her dad. This is your only friend, dad. I didn't want to upset you. Yeah. I thought. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, God. Poor thing. Oh, God. It's. Oh, God. I'm so upset. I'm so angry. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I know. I didn't. I. It's like, again,

waiting outside of her work. Honestly, I think you have enough, especially if there's a pattern behavior with these messages.

I don't know if you if she if he because. OK, so he's saying charges, maybe she could press charges. She could probably get a restraining order. I think so. Especially because he continues to show up at her work. She definitely get a restraining order, especially because now that you're saying stay with my daughter, I would send I would either have her say something like the police or something from her phone saying, please stop contacting me. And I forget the police. Fuck the police. But like, I don't want this. You need to stop contacting me.

something needs to be in writing on her end I think for it to classify for a restraining order but there's a level of intimidation happening here and there's messages and there's photos and things like that and it's like oh just ignoring him still it doesn't matter there needs I want to hit someone with a car it's so bad oh god

So bad. Okay, well, I did not think this was going to turn out into this. Sorry. No, the original was trending on my For You page on Reddit. And so I'm like, okay, this is going to be a good one based on the title. And here we have just an abundance of cluster fuckity chaos. Yeah. So...

Top comment on this update. Send it all to his girlfriend and both of you warn him to cease and desist or you will notify authorities. Yep.

And someone else goes, it's not your fault, but you need to have a sit down and talk through the socialization for women to be nice and how to get past that mental block. This is something a lot of us go through and it puts us in really awful situations. Help her understand that her safety is the most important thing. She doesn't have to be nice or put up with things like this. There's probably some very eloquent people who can speak to this topic on YouTube. It's not me, but I want to make sure she knows she doesn't have to take this shit for the rest of her life.

Even with the anxiety and desire to not rock any boats. Oh, so it's not me. It's their comment? No, I know.

But I will say like everyone, I hope you're listening. Do not put yourself in situations that make you feel bad, uncomfortable. Not even that. You do not have to appease anyone. Do not feel like you have to stay in a situation when you are uncomfortable. It doesn't matter if it's a date. It doesn't matter if it's a friend of a friend. It doesn't matter if it's a friend's boyfriend, your parents' friends. If you are uncomfortable, there is a reason for that. And you'd rather leave and have it be nothing later, you know, than...

stay in a bad situation. Honestly, I would encourage this father to maybe encourage his daughter to speak to someone that's a professional, maybe therapy, something, even just like a one or two off, you know, sessions or something just to talk through this with someone like, like clearly, I'm glad that she felt comfortable with talking with him once he brought it up to her. But like,

There may even be more that we don't know about that he doesn't know about, you know, other even maybe other people. Yeah. Because this and that's something where I think like she may feel empowered just talking to a professional. It's a great, great.

Great comment. There is a response to that one where OP says, I've told her many times growing up that if she doesn't feel comfortable doing something, no matter what it is, then she needs to say that. It doesn't matter if it upsets someone or offends someone. All that matters is that she is safe and comfortable. I'm hoping that she will be like this from now on. And I just hope that she knows I'm here for her no matter what. Also, there's an update to the post. Thank you for your comment. So OP does have an edit.

I'm so scared. I know. Oh, God. Okay. I'd like to say thank you to everyone for the advice. I've also been getting a lot of mom comments, and although I appreciate the sentiment very much, I am her dad. Unfortunately, her mom passed away quite a few years ago, but I really appreciate that everyone thought I was her mom. Why did I assume dad?

No, I assume you said he said my daughter, male. Yeah. Something like he said he made it clear he was the dad. I was like, wait, did I make the wrong assumption? I think I think when things are discussing like friends, friends being weird or things like that, I think it's because like when you're a single parent, I think the assumption for a lot of people is that it's a single mom. Interesting. Unfortunately, her mom passed away quite a few years ago, but I really appreciate everyone that thought I was the mom. It really is the biggest compliment to me. I must be doing something right. Mm hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Unfortunately, as someone who has tried to get a restraining order against a parent specifically, it is something that is unfortunately very difficult, especially in California. I was straight up told, well, they don't have a gun, so we can't get you a restraining order. It's like they have physically tried to strangle me. What do you mean? It's like, but because I didn't have marks, because I hadn't reported them prior to that, you'd rather have a record of something so that if it does consist perpetually.

you can further the report and get a restraining order. But unfortunately, yeah, obviously this is, I don't know if this is California, I don't know where this is, but you'd rather have a record of something than...

okay, well he hasn't done anything and they told me it's not worth it. You'd rather press the issue and be like, no, I want a file. I want an open file. I want something. I want this written down. I want it time-stepped. I want a record that I came and showed you this. I want you to have copies of these messages. Here's the address of where my daughter works. Definitely tell her work. Like, hey, if you see this man come in or be around- She needs to be walked to her car, supervised. A back exit, something. Yes, yes.

I definitely think like if you get brushed off by the authorities, like,

Tell them like, I want you to note that you're brushing me off. Like this could be my life. Like how many women try to report a stalker or get a restraining order and end up dead? Yeah. Like this could be my life. I want you to document this because if anything happens to me, it's on your fucking negligence. Yeah. And don't say fucking because they'll immediately just tune out. But unfortunately, if he starts firing, they do get mad. Like this is your negligence potentially costing me my life. So yeah, I want you to document that. Yep.

Keep an open file. Like, what do you have to lose? A couple more pieces of paper. Yeah. A couple more zeros and ones on the computer. Like, keep a file. I'm sorry. My daughter's life is not worth your lunch break or whatever the fuck. You know, it's just a screen.

It's crazy. Insane. We sent the screenshots and an explanation to his girlfriend, and we've had some missed calls from him, but that's not our problem. We've blocked him on everything and have completely removed him from every social media. My daughter has spoken to her work, and they have said that until she's able to find another job, they will ensure that at least one other member of staff will wait with her for the bus, and I will be meeting her at the first stop in our town to take her directly home on days I am not working and on days I am, then her grandparents will be picking her up.

She is safe. That's good. I also had a lot of comments suggesting I get violent with this man. Although I do appreciate that a lot of people would be choosing the other route of resolving the problem face to face, I am not like that. I'd like to say that there is no problem I can't solve that way, but that's simply not me. It doesn't make me a bad dad either. I found another way to solve the problem and make sure that my daughter is safe and comfortable. Thank you all for your help and advice.

It's nice to find some support through the internet sometimes. Yeah, and I think that that's the most important thing. It's like they have found a way to do it that makes his daughter feel safe. That should always be the priority. Like as much, like the last thing that you want is, oh yeah, I am dealing with this, who I thought was my dad's friend has been being a predator towards me. And then now my dad's in jail because he hit him with his car. That's the thing. We don't need a good guy behind bars. No. So...

This is why you hire someone to do it. No, I'm kidding. No, but it's jokes. We joke about castrating. We joke about hitting him with the car or the hammer. But like this is probably the best route. Like I don't want him behind bars or him facing repercussions for something that this, you know, piece of shit. And there's also another minor child involved as well with his son. Yeah. He's got to be, you know, there. He's a single parent. Yeah. Mom's not with us anymore. Yeah. And he's got to be there for his kids. And this is the best way to do it. Yep. Wow. Yeah.

We ended up on a really banger note there. Well, are you ready for the palate cleanser? Yeah. Okay.

So this was originally posted in r slash metal detecting. Okay. And it's titled. Of course, there's a metal detecting subreddit. I know. It's so cute. It's titled My First Find. Hey, guys, I just bought my first metal detector and I went in my backyard to try it out. It beeped after five minutes of detecting and I dug up this ring around six inches deep. I couldn't believe it.

And OP does include a picture of the ring. Aww!

Oh yeah. That's like a full bed. That's a wedding band. That's a men's wedding band. It's very thick gold wedding band has like K M engraved on the inside. I think that's a for silver. I think that's the silver. Is it, if it's like, if it's like a little K and M, I think that's a, some type of, I think that's the, the quality of the silver or gold, I believe. Okay. I know there's like 14 K 18 K they'll stamp on the inside for stuff. Um,

But wait, let me show the engraving one more time. Sorry. And there's like another little symbol here, too. Oh, yeah. That might be the manufacturer then. Yeah. So there's definitely not like a like it's like, oh, it's like Curtis Fitzgerald or anything like I don't think it's that. Curtis Matthews. Yeah, it is interesting. I I would assume it's from a manufacturer. Yeah. But we do find out. Oh, OK.

Okay, so... Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. No, I like the excitement. Okay. So the comment that's at the top of this one, weird way of saying that, sorry guys. It looks like my dad's wedding ring. Married in 1950, US, 14 karat gold. I bet it's real. Congratulations.

Someone goes,

OP responds, I've been to the jeweler today to get the ring checked out and you were right. It is indeed real gold. It's worth around 200 pounds or euros, but I'm not going to sell it. Since I found it in my backyard, there's a fair chance that my landlord lost it there years ago. I'm going to contact her and ask if she lost it. I hope it's hers. I bet she'd be happy to get it back.

This is so cute already. I'm already excited. No, it's like I love. Is there our treasure hunting? I know we're on our metal detecting. Yes. There is? Yeah. I'm going to spend a lot of time there because now I've been really into treasure hunting lately. I love treasure hunting. I love all the pirate movies or like even the more like recent ones with Matthew McConaughey like Fool's Gold. Yes. I would love to go on a little treasure hunt. Right. Like the what is the stat that there's like.

How many billions of dollars lost to the ocean in gold and like treasure. Yeah, fully. It's just debris fields out there and all that. And it's like even like in California, they estimated that only 10 percent of California's gold was mined during the gold rush. That's it? Yeah. It's like very little. What? They could only go through what was on top of the sediment and all that. And why are we not out there panning right now? Well, some people are.

Like there is still people hunting for gold. That's why there's like gold hunters and whatever the shows are called on a discovery channel. I did watch the one about that little town.

I think it's in Alaska. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, there's a – I don't know what it's called. There are a couple of places where it's like – oh, yeah, no, there are people that can get rich. There's – from Panning for Gold, there's – I think it's one of like the mountain countries or mountain towns in various – in Europe, I want to say, where it's like people just move there to pan for gold. Yeah.

and like mine for gold up there. And it's like, it's, it's crazy because I think there's like a lot of trash and stuff there. Cause there's no like actual infrastructure there. They just go. Yeah. It's like people come in and don't take their trash. Yeah. So, but it's like, they just move there and everything costs a lot of money, but everything is just looking for gold. That's the whole thing there. And I get, it's probably really labor intensive, but like to just go out and find a nugget, like, and

and then have someone smelt it into a ring. Like I want to go on a gold mining vacation. Yep. I'm going to look into that. See, I'm from California. So like when I was in fourth grade, we went to, God, what was it called? Not outdoor ed. That was like fifth grade. But there was a time where we literally went and went mining for gold in like Sacramento and all this stuff. Like we just, that's what we did. It's on my list. I'm going now. Yep. So update.

So about 20 days ago, I bought my first metal detector and tried it out in my backyard. After some time, I got a strong signal from the detector and dug up a gold ring. It was quite deep underground, about 10 or 12 inches, I'd guess. At first, I wasn't sure if it was real gold, so I went to the jeweler to get it checked out, and it turned out that it was indeed real gold. It also had two letters, KM, engraved in it.

At first, I thought those were initials from the person who made the ring, but I was wrong, as they told me. I figured that the ring was probably lost a long time ago since it was buried so deep underground. My idea was that my landlord's wife could have lost the ring when they used to live there 13 years ago.

I tried calling my landlord several times, but they didn't answer right away because they had been on vacation. After 20 long days and waiting for them to return, they finally called me today and I asked them to come over. We had some coffee and I told them about my new hobby, metal detecting. I asked if they'd lost jewelry in their yard when they used to live here, and my landlord's wife immediately said yes.

She lost her gold wedding ring when she was pregnant with their first child 18 years ago and were in the process of moving into a bigger home. 18 fucking years, man. I handed her the ring and she could not believe her eyes. She was incredibly thankful and happy. She never thought she would see it again. And KM are her own initials. To see their surprised faces and how happy the ring made them absolutely made my day. It was awesome.

Here's another pic of the ring. Oh my gosh. I'm going to be honest. When he said, I told him about my new hobby, I was like, oh, you're going to get evicted.

I know. That is literally... Okay, yeah, that looks more... I can see it because it's like it's the... I mean, I guess it kind of... It could be the angle, but it looks like it's like thicker on one side and thinner on the other, which would make more sense. Yeah, it does give like more masculine of a ring. I wouldn't have assumed like it was the wife's ring because it is like just a standard really thick gold band. But they're saying it's pounds, right? Or euros for the money? Yeah, 200 euros. Yeah, so I mean, I don't know what European...

wedding band. Yeah, that's true. I know. I found out, I witnessed a proposal when I was in Paris and like recorded it and went up to him after and like,

was like checking out the ring she was so cute and so excited and I learned that they do the opposite hand oh yeah right hand and I'm like I literally was like girl did he put it on the wrong hand and she was no no no and I was like oh my god okay okay it was so cute but yeah it could be like just a thing like and older couples too like yeah my I actually have my great grandma's wedding band um and she got married like basically during the great depression and so it's the

thinnest little band. Like I actually have to go get it like welded, soldered to like another band because it's so fragile. So really, really cute though. So what a good deed too because he didn't have to share. Yeah. There is.

out there is hope uh that's that's so nice though and then yeah but he's right he's like i'm worried i'm never gonna find something this cool again you may never experience no that's always that's the thing with like my job too it's it's not that this is his job but i mean it could be you could be a professional finder now um i could see it it's like sometimes i do really cool things but then it's like there's always that one thing where it's like oh am i ever gonna outlive this cool thing that i've done like am i ever gonna get the chance to do something that's cool again

Constantly. I know. I feel like it happens. Because like if I would have put myself back like in my 16 year old shoes, I never thought I'd be doing this. And like the coolest thing to happen to me then was like,

getting on stage with Justin Bieber as like the one less lonely girl. And like, I would rank. That's insane. It was wild. Like 16, flew to Kentucky. So random. But like, I would rank this, like being able to have a show and like it reaches people and it has a community. Like I'm like, this is way fucking cooler. Like this is so, this is amazing. So it does. Like, I think you do like just keep. Yeah. But my current one is that I got to be inside a world championship winning Formula One car.

Like I know I don't know if I'm able to top that. I'm going to have to become a mermaid. I'm going to have to become a Formula One driver. Like I have to top that. Yeah, that I don't think you can. I don't know if you can top that. Like I was in Lewis Hamilton's car. Sorry. Hi. Like it's literally my phone background because I'm never going to be able to top this. Like I every time. No, I don't. You can't take back everything. I have to become a treasure hunter. I have to. I have to find, you know, Atlantis. I have to do something.

Okay, so I think we've learned that Amanda is like the coolest person out there. Where can people find you and listen to your show? You can find me on YouTube and TikTok at Swell Entertainment. You can find me everywhere else at LoveYouTooGolka on Instagram, Twitter. I refuse to call it X the Like. I also stream on Twitch, also under Swell Entertainment. And yeah, I'm just kind of all over the place. I do a variety of content on commentary and reviews of products, media, and events. And I have Motorsport Brain Rot. So on Twitch, that's usually what I'm talking about is various...

F1 and motorsport related things. I know we need to talk cars after this. I'm such a little car junkie too. I love this. I will be sure to link all of Amanda's channels, especially the YouTube, you guys. It's such an easy click over. And the video on overconsumption, I'm telling you, like...

It is a little bit life-changing for me, but there's so many other amazing videos on her channel, so be sure to check them out. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Oh, my gosh. I'm hoping I didn't, like, traumatize you too much because today was a lot.

It was a lot. But, you know, it's OK. It's also like in 2024, it feels like every day is a lot. So this is at least we got to like we're kind of removed from these things that we talked about, at least. So there's that. I know everyone can feel a little bit less anxiety that this is not happening for you. And if you are going through something similar, just know you deserve better and start moving.

making your way out of the situations because there is happy good people that will want to and will if they want to whatever that thing is if he wants to we will like every one of these oh if he wanted to we will yeah yeah I'm like you deserve love and happiness and safe healthy relationships and good family members and just let's all find that yes 2024 is we're halfway through the year

Start 2025 on a good foot and set yourself up for it. See, I've been thinking about that as well, too, about, like, oh, we're halfway through the year. Like, the year's a wash. We're over halfway through the year. I know. We're in August. Oh, my God. I know. But I've been thinking about it more as, like, okay, how different could my life be by December? That's what I'm saying. Versus, like, the year's almost done. It's, like, how much can I... I could change... So much could change by December. So much can change. I just did...

an episode for my dad's show and we do like all like dad advice listener write-ins and we had someone that like updated us and she was like, I listened to the show and because of it, I was able to get out of a bad relationship and I just moved across the country. I'm now in LA and I'm starting my modeling career. Oh,

Like, oh, my God, change you can make for yourself in such a short amount of time. Yeah, it's incredible. That's crazy. Incredible. And everyone deserves that. Like, you don't deserve to feel bad every day. Like, you deserve love and happiness.

You deserve to have a partner that's an actual partner and not a burden. And if you want to get in a Formula One car, get in a Formula One car. You deserve all the good things. Treasure hunting, metal detecting. Treasure hunting. Panning for gold. Yeah, next time I'm on the show, I better hear updates about everyone and their treasure hunting journey. Let's go. We should have a gold or we could do a metal detector meetup in the beach.

We could do a metal detector meetup. Honestly, follow me around. You'll find jewelry eventually. Like the amount of jewelry I've lost. Necklace broke in Trader Joe's. If someone wants to find my necklace, it's a panda coin. My mom got it as a push present. 1994 panda coin. Some tiny little ass diamonds around it. It fell off my neck somewhere, probably in the Trader Joe's. The Trader Joe's on 3rd Street and La Brea.

Anyone works there? You want to go let me go under shelves? I will see you there. But if anyone finds it, it's out there floating in the universe. I lost a locket at the Pentagon. The Pentagon? What?

I was in the eighth grade. It was for my eighth grade trip. We went to like Washington, D.C. and like New York and all this stuff. And we went to the 9-11 memorial at the Pentagon. And I got back to the bus and I realized I lost my silver heart locket. So somewhere in the memorial. Is there a picture in it? How do people know if it's going to be yours?

Put it out there. Manifest. I don't think there's a picture. Again, I'm 26. Never say never. 18 years that rings in the dirt. It was probably my dog. So it was probably a Percillan princess. So a Sheltie and a Schnauzer.

Oh my god. Look at you, a little schnauzer queen. No, I know. That's why when I got Hermes, I was like, okay, I know. I'm familiar with schnauzers. Like, this is why I want Hermes. And then I forgot. Oh no, they're fire alarm barkers. They bark like, he barks like a fire alarm. It's insane. I need to hear it. I'll never get robbed. He just barks like an insane person.

It's crazy. Oh my God. It's like a high-pitched squeal in the back of it. So it's like, it's so loud. It's crazy. That's insane. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. I'm so blessed. I like how we did the outro and then we just kept yapping. I know. I'm like, yap was activated. Yap was activated. Okay. Thank you. As I whack the mic.

Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's

If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. When you sign up at WorkMoney, you could win $50,000. With the average renter paying around $2,100 per month, that means you can have rent covered for a whole year and more. So you can be more. And when you're more, that means you get more. And more. And more.

Ooh, but not so much of that. Sign up at WorkMoney. Get money-saving tips. Skip the rent. Get more rich. Sign up at WorkMoney.org slash MoreRichContest for your chance to win $50,000.