172: Worms in the Brain..
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Hello. Guess what is going on sale right now? Tickets for our live shows happening this fall. The No Takes Left Behind tour. We are so, so excited to hit some places we forgot about the last time. Florida. But we are so excited to see you guys. Get ready. Because if you guys show up like the last tour did...

We are in for a good time. Tickets will be linked in the show notes. Check them out, guys. Oh, and we're having a special sale on merch right now as well. So the new stuff that just came out is having a 20% off sale. Come and get it. Enjoy the episode. I'm so excited to have you back. I'm so excited to be back. I didn't expect to be back so soon. I know people are gonna be like, damn, she wasn't kidding. Yeah. Mikayla's a regular.

Oh my god, I'm so excited. It's gonna be so good. Okay, liquid death, caffeine. But okay, we're rolling. Rolling on the river. The great classic by Tina Fey. Tina Turner, don't worry guys. Classically a Tina Fey song. I know, I know it's Tina Turner. Don't yell at me. I have my dad calling. I'm just like, chaos!

chaos, which is what today's theme is going to be. No way. Chaos? No. Oh, it is chaotic. The theme is called worms in the brain. That's really good. I recently did a bunch of Patreon stories with Justin and every single one we did, it was like,

Do these people have worms in their brain? Like genuinely, they have to have worms in their brain. Like there's no other explainable thing. Do you ever repeat themes or is it always a new theme? I've repeated like unhinged a couple of times or like red flags has come up here and there.

But otherwise, I try to get crafty with the titles. It's really starting to hurt my brain after almost 200 episodes. Yeah. The first like 10, you're rolling. You've got it. Yeah. Break up or nah. Yeah. Easy. After 200? Oh, my God.

It hurts. I'm excited though. Worms for brains. That's perfect. Worms for brains or worms in the brains. We'll see what we end up with at the end of this. But everyone, I don't think we introduced ourselves yet. I'm Morgan. I'm Mikayla. And let's get into another episode of Two Hot Takes. Okay, this first one.

It's coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit. Love that. And for any of the Two Hot Takes ones today, do not be offended that you're in this theme. It's okay if you have some worms in your brain, okay? It might not be you in the story, okay? Don't be scared. Don't start, don't start, you know, freaking out. I got worms in my brain too. It's, it happens to the best of us.

Okay, but this one is three days old, titled, My Family Won't Come to My Son's Birthday Party Because It's Shrek-Themed. So a little backstory. I, 29 female, was raised in a very religious family. Growing up, we didn't watch, read, or play anything that wasn't specifically religious-centered. I went to a Catholic school my whole life and pretty much only hung out with Christian friends.

While I respect my parents' beliefs, I do not agree with or believe a lot of the same stuff. So to the issue at hand, my two sons love the movie Shrek. My five-year-old decided that he wanted to have a Shrek-themed birthday party, which my husband and I gladly agreed to.

Very normal. Well, when I brought it up to my other siblings, who are still pretty religious, they didn't seem thrilled. I was later informed by my younger brother that my nieces and nephews will not be coming to my son's birthday party because of the theme. Apparently, they were very offended that we, quote, thought it was appropriate for a kid's party. Mm-hmm.

I'm pretty disappointed because I obviously want my son's cousins there, but I also don't want to change the whole theme. So I want to get some insight on what people's thoughts are on this. Is it outlandish to have a Shrek-themed birthday for a five-year-old? Should I be more sensitive to my nieces and nephews' upbringing? I have to say Shrek is like one of the biggest...

child's like movies and like themes yeah there's whole shrek sections at the party city store so no they're not crazy also it incorporates like all the cute little fairy tale creatures it's so child oriented i also feel like there's a really good message behind shrek

Yeah. Like, don't judge a book by its cover. Yeah. You know, people are like onions, a lot of layers. Like, Shrek is a beautiful, beautiful movie. There's a huge character development. You know, look at the relationship Shrek had with Donkey and then Fiona. Look at Fiona's self-love and self-acceptance. Shrek, if you boil it down, is actually a pretty good movie. Well, and like, what about Shrek is...

Would it be anti-religious? Because there's a little magic in it? Probably that. Because I know that that's why some religious parents don't want their kids to read like Harry Potter. Yeah, Harry Potter is a big one. And I've heard that before. I have not heard of Shrek. And I really don't know like if it's healthy to keep your children from any media that isn't explicitly religious. What do you think that's going to do for them?

I think that's the problem that a lot of people maybe don't even realize is

when you shelter your kids or like almost create a world where things are hidden, they do go out in the real world still. They see those things. And then that like creates a distrust between child and parent. It makes them want to seek out those things more. Right. And you could also like have conversations where it's like you are the religious one and you go to the Shrek party and you go back and you talk about Shrek with your kids. And like, what do you think

what do you think Shrek means? Totally. Who do you think Shrek is in terms of the Bible and could Shrek be so-and-so? Like you could create a more welcoming home environment conversation. Like your kids are not dumb. Also, all of the, all they're going to see at a Shrek themed party is like a green ogre and a donkey on plates and like pinatas and stuff.

It's not even like I'm like thinking about it now. I'm like, what are we going to like? What is this Shrek brainwashing culture that people are scared of? I don't know. I get like there there's a line that many parents will have for their kids of like, when does media stop being appropriate for my children? Totally normal. And like people have that line in different places.

However, Shrek is a crazy place to draw that line. Sorry, crazy is a mean word. I think there's meaner. I think they have worms in their brain. I think they have worms in their brain as well. And I'm so sorry, but you can't hide your children from the world so immensely that they're hidden from even Shrek. They're not going to be equipped to take on...

What comes next if they can't even handle Shrek? No. And like, I actually know, like it's one of my brother's mutuals back in Minnesota. He and his wife are so controlling over their children and they shelter them so much. Like they don't let the parents, like AKA grandma and grandpa, give them presents because they want to control everything. They're homeschooled. They don't interact with other children. And so it's like, there are people out there that

live in that world. But my question is like, what happens when your kid turns 18? Like you homeschool them. Like do you home college them? Like, I don't know if that exists even, but you know what I mean? Like what happens when you're gone? Your kid is not equipped to deal in the real world. Also, what does your kid think of the grocery store? Like when they're that sheltered,

what do they think when they see other people and kids? They're going to see like storybooks there. They're going to see like themed, um, Kraft Mac and cheese shapes. Oh my God. By the way. Yeah. The macaroni aisle that they can't even handle the macaroni aisle. What do these people do? Like genuinely? And I'm all for, you know, to each your own. Yeah. You want to live in this like very religious world. That's your cup of tea. That's cool. You do you.

But actually, like, how do you survive going into the wild, even the grocery store? Like, even the grocery store. And I get that it's terrifying, like, to have children and to raise them in this world and know that anything could happen to them. They could meet some person who will take them down a terrible path or, like, any little decision could affect a child so much. Yeah. But...

Again, the line can't be Shrek. It can't be Shrek. The line can't be Shrek. It can't be Shrek. Which, that being said, I don't think our writer needs to change anything. No! Have your Shrek party. Have all the Shrek cake. Have your Shrek cake and eat it too. Yeah, and I would just say, I respect your religious beliefs, but there being an ogre on my child's cake and plates will not negatively affect your child. Right.

No. And I think like if you want to maintain this relationship with your siblings, you could very easily be like, cool, understand. I'm not changing the party. However, if you guys want to do like a separate little get together, I would love to do that. But what thing would be okay if Shrek isn't okay? Because technically any like Disney princess also involves magic. I would be very curious if there are any listeners that are very religious. Like, are there any themes for kids that are okay except like,

you know, Mary Had a Little Lamb or like those traditional nursery rhymes that are. Yeah. I'd imagine they wouldn't like SpongeBob. No. I'd imagine they wouldn't like Star Wars. No. There's a lot that are out. Yeah. There's a lot that are out. I'm just I'm curious what is in. I'd like to know. I'd like to see the the person that they're talking about, like their list of approved themes. That would be very interesting to me.

I'm like Googling Jesus child birthday decorations. VeggieTales.

Actually, VeggieTales goes hard. I loved VeggieTales. VeggieTales. VeggieTales is good. And they have a very, they have like very religious episodes on VeggieTales. It is a religious, yeah, it's a religious show. Okay, yeah, because I remember watching that. I was like, they're like one of them dressed up as like Noah. Yeah, and then there was like a really good Esther. Okay, so maybe VeggieTales is fair game. But that's the only one I could think of. I wonder if Barney is, Barney is nice.

But Barney, yeah, but, you know, talking dinosaur. Like, how different is that from talking ogre? True. Top comment. I don't understand what the problem is. It's not like you're having a cocaine and hookers themed kids party. Okay, pop off Princess Fiona 7437.

That's literally the username. Wait, really? They were like, this is the comment that I've been waiting to reply to. I feel attacked, they said. Shrek is a great kids-friendly movie. Next comment down. I think it's because Opie's family assumes that they're going to be seen as a bunch of far quads for how uptight they are. Oh. The comment section over here on my sub is really popping off. They got their ass. Popping off.

So OP does have an edit. It's very validating to read all of these comments. Growing up super religious sometimes makes you question every decision you make, especially as a parent. I feel like I have to constantly pull myself back into reality and remind myself that just because it's not directly about God doesn't mean it's demonic. It's tough to still believe in the Bible, but have to unlearn a lot of untrue things. I was hearing something too, like a clattering. Is that

We got him. You got the rat? He must be in the cage. You think he's in the... I think he's in the live trap. I have a rat, you guys. A blessing. He crawled up the fucking sewer pipe that my sewer guy, Plummer, that's the name, my plumber left a cap off. And when my pipes clogged this week, he had to go in there with a snake and he left the cap off and a rat crawled up from the city sewer. I got him on video. I'll insert it here. And he crawled into my house. It has been a week.

And I think I'm like, there's nothing else that sound could be. I can still hear it. He's definitely in there. Oh my God. You caught the rat. Dude. What do we do now? What do I do? What do I do with this rat in the cage? You take him, uh, you take him to a sewer, to a nearby. I don't know. We're doing it after we're doing it after this episode. I'll record it. But what the hell? We just have to listen to the rat in the, oh my God. Okay.

I'm so sorry if the rest of this episode, like rats get mentioned because we can hear it. I'm so glad he made the choice of the live trap. Yeah. I literally gave him a choice. I said, he heard you because you told you said it out loud to me. He heard that. I've been telling him all day. I've literally said, dude, pick the live trap. I put a cracker in there last night. It was a donut and a burrito. He, he chose the donut, but he got out.

I'm so happy, but yet panicked about the fact we have to dispose. I'll help you. Okay. Honestly, we can use like oven mitts. We can like pick up the trap in oven mitts. Oh my God. Okay. That's a great idea. Thank you. I really hope that's what it is. It's fine. It's fine. Let's get back to the episode. What is life? Worms in the brain. Yeah. Worms in the brain. I'm telling you, I'm telling you it's me. I'm, I'm the worm. Worms in the brain, rats in the cage.

Yep. Yep. That's it. Drop the track. Okay. But it's tough to still believe in the Bible, but have to unlearn a lot of untrue things that I was taught my whole life.

And there's a lot of like I was also raised pretty religiously and there's a lot of guilt involved in a lot of things. For sure. So like these parents are also dealing with what they were taught and trying to wrestle with that themselves too. For sure. And I feel like when because like I'm still like I still feel like.

religious in a sense. Like I believe in a higher power. I would say I'm more Jewish than anything. And it's funny because like you mentioned guilt and there's literally, it's such a common thing in Jewish families where it's like, oh, Jewish guilt. Like it's just, it's talked about so much. And Catholic guilt, like they're phrases. Yeah. It's a thing. So I feel like there's a healthy balance. Like there's a balance where you can believe what you want to believe and still get to participate in Shrek.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like how many books will your children miss out on? Like I'm just thinking of that's such limited world experience and like socialization. I know. There's so much out there. There's so much out there. What's like been the kids movie that's like changed your life? I definitely really loved the princess movies like The Little Mermaid was probably my favorite as a kid. And I really liked the Cinderella sequel.

The live action? No, it was like Cinderella 2 and she had different dresses. I don't know. I really liked that movie as a kid. What about you? I feel like Frozen was pretty revolutionary. Granted, we're adults. I was in college.

I was in college, but it was just like it was such a beautiful movie. And my college was like so obsessed. Like it would play at like all the frat houses nonstop. That is so funny. We would rock out to Frozen. Lion King was a good one. Oh, The Incredibles. I really liked The Incredibles. The Incredibles was so good.

Zootopia, Fire. I feel like the ones that have come out after We Were Kids have been some of the best ones. I feel like a lot of Pixar ones were really good when we were kids. Cars, incredible. Cars was really good. Cars is so good. Mulan. I love Mulan.

Love Mulan. Tangled. Tangled was my favorite. I think Tangled is still my favorite, actually. Princess and the Frog was also like, I think about beignets nonstop because that movie, like I crave beignets on a daily basis. Can I tell you what movie is so good and no one's going to believe me? What? I'm scared. Boss Baby 2 is one of the best. I know, I know, I know. Listen, I know. But I swear to God, if you watch...

I don't know. Maybe I was just in a place when I watched it, but it made me cry. It made me laugh. I thought it was like a perfect movie. Boss Baby 2. I'm going

going to give it a shot. You don't even really need to see Boss Baby 1. You sort of just need to know the premise. Okay. But yeah, because I would go to the movies every single week on Movie Tuesday with my friend because it was $5 at the AMC. The same in Duluth. It's so cheap. So we would just like any old movie that was out and one time it was Boss Baby 2. We went on with really low expectations, but I have to say it's the best. Holy smokes. Probably one of the best movies in the last decade. Okay, everyone, you heard it here. Boss Baby 2.

99% on Rotten Tomatoes. I hope I'm right. Everyone's going to reply back and be like, Michaela? But don't say anything unless you've seen it, okay? Okay. Then I will look, but let me know. I'm curious what its rating is on Rotten Tomatoes.

46% on Rotten Tomatoes. I don't know. I feel like they do that with comedies all the time. They just don't get it. That is true. They don't respect the art form. The one with Jennifer Lawrence didn't... I think it was Jennifer Lawrence. Didn't have great reviews and I watched it and I'm like, this is incredible. Oh, No Hard Feelings? Incredible. Yeah, that was really funny. When she was naked fighting on the beach, I was like, oh my God.

One is that her, holy smokes, which I don't know why I'm surprised because she was like fully naked painted blue in X-Men. Right. I just love her. She has range. She's got range. The range. Okay. Okay. Back to the stories. Sorry. Yeah. We're just, I can't stop thinking about the rat.

Okay. This is coming from AITAH. It is five days old. Titled, Am I the asshole for not letting a pregnant woman have any of my birthday cake? Okay. My birthday was yesterday and my husband invited his best friend Matt and his best friend's pregnant girlfriend Jane out for a barbecue. They live two houses down from us. It was only us, our three children, and then them and their three kids. Okay.

I spent about $90 on hamburger and hot dogs. Matt also showed up with two pounds of hamburger. While the guys cooked, I went swimming with all of the kids in our pond. Jane sat near the guys on her phone.

Around 5.30ish, the guys called the kids up for food. Me and my middle child, nine, weren't hungry yet, so we kept swimming. We spent a good 40 plus extra minutes in the pond on our tubes. I wasn't paying any attention to anything that was going on near the grill. Around 6.15ish is when my husband said he was going to make a store run for beer, so I tell my son that we should probably go and eat now.

My husband and Matt are gone by the time we get up to the grill. So is Jane. Well, we get up to the grill and all of the food is gone. Literally everything. I call my husband and ask him where all of the food is. And he said that it should be on the grill. I tell him that everything is gone. There was a long pause before he goes, quote, Jane asked if she could take some leftovers, but I didn't think she would take all of it.

He then tells me there was at least eight burgers and ten hot dogs left, as well as macaroni salad when he left for the store just ten minutes prior.

I tell him to call Matt and see where the fuck all the food is. He does. He then calls me back and says that Matt claims Jane only took a few and that they had already been eaten. But my oldest son, 13, straight up tells me he saw Jane walk off of her property carrying the entire dish. One of those extra large tinfoil barbecue dishes. Oh.

Anyways, I'm pissed at this point. Me and my son hadn't eaten anything. My husband is also pissed, but he just grabbed me and my son something from the store instead of making a big fuss about it. I don't really blame him. Him and Matt work together, so it is what it is. But anyways, much to my surprise, Jane and her kids come back over 45 minutes later and ask if they can have some of my cake.

Oh, wow. I tell Jane that her kids can, but she can't. She asks why. And I said, quote, I'm pretty sure you've eaten plenty considering you took off with my entire barbecue dinner before me and my son could eat anything. She tried arguing that my husband told her she could have it, that half of it was hers because they brought two pounds of hamburger meat, and that she didn't realize me and my kid hadn't eaten.

Hmm. Hmm.

I kind of love petty shit like this. To say it to her face like that? I kind of think that that's so funny. That's great. I think it's kind of an icon. I mean, the audacity of this woman to come back over for cake? Yeah. You just took eight burgers and ten hot dogs. Well,

Well, and what's interesting is like she knows by now that they hadn't eaten and they were upset that she took all the food because they had been calling like asking what happened to the food. And then she was like, you know what? This is an opportune moment for me. Like,

I feel like this woman probably thought she was coming back to maybe be like, I'm sorry I took all the food. I didn't realize you hadn't eaten yet. But instead, this woman opens her mouth and says, hey, give us some cake too, bitch. I feel like all would have been made well if she would have just brought some of it back. Yeah. Because there's no way it actually all got eaten. Right. Like 10, what was it? 10 hamburgers and hot dogs. 10 hot dogs, 8 burgers. Yeah, what the hell?

Mm-mm. Like I get pregnant women have cravings, but not like that. I think she just wanted to take advantage of not having to cook. Also, I'm looking and it's like two pounds of ground beef is, depending on the grocery store you go to, $7, $12, $20, $30.

Meanwhile, OP bought macaroni salad, burgers, hot dogs. Like, you're not entitled to half of it just because you brought two pounds of beef and you didn't take half of it. You took all of the leftovers. Yeah. And even my child didn't get to eat because of you. Like, now I'm pissed. And there's nothing worse than like,

You're expecting a certain meal and then you go to have it and it's gone. You've been swimming. You've been like...

out there in the paddling and stuff like that. No, that's so fucked up. I love that she was petty about that shit. I mean, I would I would also feel a little bit bad if like the children walked away without having any cake like sad about it. I'd be like, oh, like, was I a little bit of it? But she wasn't the asshole. No, I kind of like this little petty revenge we have here. I love petty revenge, more petty revenge. And honestly, I feel like a pregnant woman would have appreciated the cake more than the hot dogs. So yeah,

I appreciate that every day more non-pregnant. Maybe she'll learn her lesson. Maybe she'll learn something from this. Honestly, I wouldn't invite them back over. I wouldn't either. I wouldn't. I just don't like the selfishness of it. Like I wouldn't really want to become better friends with somebody who would do that because I'd feel like, okay, if you'll do that about like,

food. You'll do that about so many things. And also she didn't come back with the food or apologize. She just asked for more. So she doesn't have any recognition of like her selfishness or other people's feelings. Very entitled and selfish. Like you said, just a little unhinged. Yeah. A little unhinged. Top comment. And who leaves a barbecue without saying goodbye to the hostess? It was only the two families. That's rude in its own right.

Next comment down. A person that's leaving with all of the food and doesn't want to get caught. Yeah, she's sneaking away. She knew what she was doing. She did. I love that the son, the 13-year-old son, like, caught her. He was like, nobody saw mom. Well, that's the thing. Like, you took half, but then where's the tray? Where's the barbecue tin? It's not in the garbage. My husband didn't put it away. Two plus two equals four. Yeah.

Come on. Come on. Like, who do you think you're pulling a fast one over on? Yeah. You're just straining the relationship, creating issues and guaranteeing you don't get invited back over. What's up with people who like are so comfortable boldface lying like that? I didn't do it even though it happened and no one else could have done it. Like it wasn't me. I don't know. You're crazy. You're going crazy about this. You're nuts. There are some comments from Opie.

To be fair, it didn't need to be moved. We have an outdoor kitchen, so the grill is fully boxed in and not exposed to the elements. There's also an ice box and an outdoor fridge right there. That's why I told her the kids could have cake. It wasn't their fault that their mother pulled that stunt. Her kids are 16, 13, and 9. They probably, yeah, they know what's going on. I buy meat from a butcher. $90 worth of meat equaled out to about 8 pounds of hamburger meat and roughly 30 hot dogs.

And they came over with two pounds of ground beef. And they've already eaten. Like they're not just like taking leftovers for them to finally eat. They've already eaten. And that doesn't include the $40 I spent on makings for the macaroni salad and all the buns and the condiments that was used. That's the other thing about the macaroni salad. That was gone too. Yeah. That was in her bowl. Right. Yeah.

Where's the bowl, ma'am? Where's the bowl? What the hell? This is another situation where it's like maybe I could believe that she didn't realize they had eaten hadn't eaten yet. If she were like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Honest mistake. I didn't realize you hadn't eaten yet. But that's not what she did. She doubled down, like continued to be entitled, which is why it feels more like she did. No one didn't care. Mm hmm.

I'm so perplexed. Stop fucking with people's food. Food is the one thing. Like, just food. People. Food and sleep. Like, if you fuck with those things, you're going to drive someone crazy. It's literally a form of torture, messing with people's sleep. So, yeah. There is another comment.

I think people were asking OP, like, you know, what has been the reaction since all of this. But OP does say, just read back and realized I forgot to mention it in my post. My bad. Today. So the next day, Matt and my husband had work and Matt had mentioned that Jane was up all night crying over it because she is pregnant and feels targeted.

swears she would never have taken the food if she knew we hadn't eaten, and that pregnancy brain got the best of her. So then just apologize once you find out. Also...

So you did take it or are you still claiming you only took half? Right. Like she never would have taken the food if she knew we hadn't eaten. Yeah, that's a good point. Pregnancy brain got the best of her. So which is it? You took half or you took all of it? And why would you be lying about that if you're telling the truth? And why do you feel targeted if it's the truth? Yeah. Usually people feel targeted if they're like,

Fakely, wrongly accused. Yeah. Like I feel for OP because I'm also someone who due to provocation have reacted in like a more easily frowned upon way than what they've done. Like this like thing where you can act like it was an accident and then you say something that's so much more obviously like you're upset with them. Like the you can't have any of my cake thing. Yeah. And then it's like, fuck now I'm the bad guy. Like everyone thinks I'm the bitch now. Mm-hmm.

I think that's like her playing the victim in this too, though. Oh, yeah. Like, you didn't think you were going to have any consequences. You thought you would mosey on over there and OP would be so nice and just bite her tongue and give you the cake. And you're sad now. Your tail is between your legs. You're embarrassed. That's why you're crying. To garner sympathy. Oh, it's pregnancy brain. Yeah. Pregnancy doesn't make you...

selfish and stealing all of people's food. Are you maybe a little extra hungry? Yeah. Do you have cravings? Yeah. She was already full and she could take, she could have taken half. Yeah. Five hot dogs and four hamburgers would have been more than enough. Leave one, leave something. Yeah. Chaos.

But there's no other comments from Opie. No official update yet. Apparently, she left without saying goodbye because she wanted to get her kids out of the wet clothing. Mm-hmm. Okay. That is so... I feel bad for her because I know that she kind of feels like a dick now, but I think the comments were supportive. I think so. I think Opie got what Opie needed. Yeah. Yeah.

Moving along, this next one, I don't know if OP is going to get what they need or want. Ooh, okay. One of this week's partners is Skims. Have you been hunting for the perfect fitted t-shirt? I know I was, up until I found my Skims. This has now become a staple in my wardrobe. Need an airport outfit? Skims T. Going on a date? Skims T. Lounging around the house or running errands?

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This next one is seven days old coming from AITAH titled, Am I the Asshole Because I Went on My Honeymoon Without My Brand New Wife Since She Had to Take Care of Her Sister.

I just got married. My wife, Tanya, basically raised her sister Marie after their mom passed away. Even after their dad remarried, Tanya and her sister were more mom-daughter than sisters. Marie got married last year, and she got pregnant right away. No, not before. They figured they got pregnant on their honeymoon.

Marie went into premature labor at our wedding reception. She gave birth to a tiny but healthy baby girl, and for some reason, Tanya decided that she needed to go and take care of her. We were supposed to leave for our honeymoon two days after our wedding, but Tanya said she just couldn't leave. She isn't a doctor or a nurse. Marie has a dad, a stepmom, a husband, a mother and father-in-law. I don't understand why she had to go.

But we had a non-refundable ticket, and insurance didn't cover, quote, I have to stay and take care of my sister as part of the coverage. Plus, I had booked two weeks off for my wedding and honeymoon. So since I was going to be home by myself doing nothing while my wife was in another city doing whatever, I went on the honeymoon by myself.

I got a massive bed all to myself. I used all the resort credits that were for a couple's massage, romantic excursions, and special meals on deep sea fishing and a dune buggy tour of the island. I just got back and my wife is still with her sister, but she is upset that I went on our honeymoon by myself. Was I supposed to let the money go to waste? Was I supposed to sit at home playing Diablo while I waited for her to be done?

We are fighting about it. My friends all agree that I would have been dumb to waste the money and my time off. Her friends think I was a dick to go enjoy myself while she was taking care of her sister and a new baby. I will add that there was no place for me to stay at Marie's house. Tanya is sleeping in the nursery since the baby is still in the NICU. So, am I the asshole? I'm like worried I have a bad opinion about this.

Let's hear it. I don't think he's the asshole. I don't either. I would do that, like, if there's really no way to get that money back. Yeah. I think it, like, I don't blame her for...

For wanting to be with her sister. Yeah. I don't think it's bad. It's terrible timing. It's really sad. Like, I would be so upset if I had just gotten married and then, like, immediately the person I married left and, like, didn't go on the honeymoon with me. Yeah. That would make me really sad. Because that's so special for you guys. Yeah. And...

Clearly, this trip was very well thought out. Right. So much effort and time went into planning. I'm sure they were really excited. Like a dune buggy and excursions massage. Oh, my God. That sounds so fun. I've literally wanted a massage for months now. I'm like, it just sounds incredible. So obviously, she wanted to go and be there. But obviously, she didn't.

You care about your family, premature baby. You're scared. This is your sister's first. You look at your sister like more than a sister, like you're so close. So I get it. I feel like there's just like no assholes here. I feel like there's no assholes. And I don't think she should. I get I feel like it's more that she's disappointed she didn't go on the trip. I don't think it's totally fair to be like, how could you? Because like.

We paid for this. Yeah. And I can't be with you. If it's truly non-refundable, like if it were me in this, I'd be like, okay. I'd want them to have that experience. I get it. Yeah. I get it. I also don't know why like, okay, she went into labor at the wedding. Honeymoon wasn't for two days.

I also feel like it would have been reasonable to be like, I get you want to be there for, you know, a couple days. Our trip is a week. Why don't you come a couple days later? At least be there for some of it. And then you're only gone from your sister for three days or four days. And then we'll be back. At least...

come and experience some of it. I wish that that's what they did. I mean, we don't know, like you said, how stressful the situation was, like if it seemed dire or if it seemed like maybe the baby, like they were really worried about the baby's health and like the sister's freaking out and she was sort of the only one who can comfort her in that way. Yeah. I don't know. It's hard because

I'm sure that there was like a good reason to miss out on something that was so like fun and exciting, but that just sucks for everybody involved. I wonder what the sisters is like thinking about this. Yeah. I wonder if the sister is like, no, like, come on, you should have gone like get out of here. Like, I wonder if the sister is like, no, I need you. Or why are you here? Like, I'm really curious what her perspective is. And I'm also curious, like how early the baby is like premature labor can be

um, like 26 weeks, it could be 38 weeks. Right. It does make a difference. I think my niece was like three or four weeks premature and she was totally fine. Yeah. But like, even just hearing that, I was like, Oh, is she okay? Like, yeah, I'm worried about that. I mean, so much development can happen within like the difference of a week. Like the lungs can be developed or they are not like, it's crazy what happens in there. It's just like,

Pregnancy is so, it's such a crazy, amazing thing. Like it truly is the miracle of birth for all animals. I'm just like, it blows my mind. What do people think? Do they agree with us? I don't know. I'm really, really scared. Top comment, probably not too late for an annulment. Oh!

they are like jumping the gun oh next comment down that's the top comment the very 11k of votes 11 000 people agree annulment the next comment down or a disillusion of marriage it's available in some places and is a kind of a short-term divorce for very short marriages no kids and no community property okay let's okay let me think about this am i wrong i

I don't feel like it's that dire if she'll like come to terms with like, okay, I was right for making the decision I made and staying. You were right for going and staying.

not losing all of our money. I do think maybe part of the problem here is that she should be like, I'm so sorry I'm missing this as opposed to like angry with him. Yeah. Like, I'm really sorry that I've ruined this really important experience for us. It's just that I'm so worried about my sister, but I understand that like this sucks for you as opposed to like sort of taking the it sucks that you went without me route. Yeah. Like maybe that's. Well, and obviously she has FOMO.

Yeah. But even with FOMO, like, you can't hold that against your partner. Like, you have to be logical, like you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's see if there's any comments from Opie. We have an update. Oh, my God. Are they divorced? I'm scared. Okay. Let's see if there's any comments. Marie, the sister, told her to go on the honeymoon. Hmm.

Mm-hmm. My wife specifically told me there was no place for me to stay and I should go home. Oh. So literally he wasn't even welcome to stay and support his new sister-in-law. And they just got married. That's kind of weird to me. I know.

I know. Because I would want my partner there if like I was having like family stuff. Like I still recognize like I need support. Yeah. And that's a big moment to see how your new partner would react in a like situation like that with you if it's your sister's baby. Like I'm surprised that she wouldn't want him there for that. Yeah. That's really, really strange. Okay. I'm trying to see if there's any other good comments. The hotel had already been paid for, non-refundable.

Marie told her to go. I didn't put any of this on her. I do feel like the ideal would be if it were refundable, they could move the trip like a couple weeks later when everything is sort of like, okay, the baby is not going to be in any immediate danger. My sister's okay. Someone else can be with him now. I know. And then there's the aspect about like PTO from work. I wonder if like he could have shifted and been like, actually, can I come back in and take

PTO like later now because it's an extreme circumstance. Yeah. Oh, that sucks so much I don't like I don't think I think she's being an asshole. I don't think they need a divorce over it No, unless they truly like can't come to terms and there's so much resentment right or then that's not healthy if this is like an indicator of how all of their disagreements go or you know, but if this is really just a one-off because of the extreme motions of like

your closest person's pregnancy being in a questionable circumstance, then like I don't think that that's an indicator of the marriage being hopefully. I don't know. Sometimes honestly, sometimes I have my thoughts and then I see other comments and I'm like, maybe I was wrong. My bad. No, I think you're on it with this one. There's a comment that the baby was just over a month premature and just under four pounds.

That seems pretty small. Yeah, that does seem really small. So I get, I do understand the panic of that. And like she doesn't have children. I feel like everyone's first pregnancy is the most stressful and then you become a little bit more like, okay, it's okay as that goes on. And like it's her sister's first pregnancy and it's her first pregnancy. So I get like the emotions being super high. Yeah.

Yeah, there is a couple interesting comments from OP where people are like, you should have just gone home and like, you know, hung out and taken the trip later. And OP goes, so I should have followed my wife's instructions like a dog and gone home to Denver and played video games the whole time. Pass. Which I get how frustrating that would be. Yeah. Like, I really do. That sucks. That really sucks. Okay. Let's...

Read the update. Oh, good, good, good. I'm so curious. Man. The baby, Emily, is home and healthy, just tiny.

My sister-in-law kicked my wife out the day the baby came home. Tanya wouldn't let her do anything. Marie told her that she has plenty of help. Tanya said she didn't mind sticking around. Marie told her that her and her husband did have a problem with it. Marie also told all of her relatives that if Tanya was staying with them, they weren't allowed over until she left.

Tanya asked if I would mind if she rented an Airbnb so she could stay nearby. I said I would prefer if she came home. We had an argument. I said that we should just not actually get married if this was going to be my life.

Whoa. Oh. Oh, so they aren't married yet. Yeah.

I said we are both young and can walk away without losing much. All the gifts are in her dad's garage and they are easy enough to return. I said that there was no way I was going to put up with being the third wheel in our marriage. She has agreed to start going to counseling and we are going to hold off on getting the paperwork settled for one year to give her the chance to decide what she wants. If she says that her sister comes first after one year, then I'm out.

That's all. No more drama. Thanks for everyone who told me where I stood. I love Tanya, but I love myself too. Everyone who said I was an asshole for not understanding why she needed to be there can suck it. I don't think, I just don't think they're meant for each other. This sounds like, yeah, it sounds like it's not a great relationship. It also sounds like she definitely needs therapy of her own. Yeah. I think there's like

like an unhealthy level of attachment to her sister. Right. If the sister were like, I really need you. I actually really do need you in this moment. I think I would feel differently. But the fact that the sister's like, you don't need to be here. Like you're going to regret this. You're going to regret missing your honeymoon. Like this isn't that important. Yeah.

then okay like the sister is literally kicking her out so much so that she's telling other family sister she's like yeah ruining her marriage by doing this she's literally saying you are not welcome you're not letting me do anything like you need to go home you need to go home you've been great but go home other family if you let her stay with you you're not coming over and seeing the baby either that's how serious I am

Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I don't have a lot of hope for that couple. Honestly, I don't think that my hope is actually that they don't end up together because this doesn't sound like a great situation. Like it doesn't the way that he's talking. He's clearly unhappy in this relationship. Like the way he's speaking about it, you can tell there's like sort of a

like an anger, resent. Like he doesn't like her the same way anymore. I think there's going to be resentment because it's tough because I do understand why she stayed. But then one, don't be mad at him. But also this was your honeymoon. Baby is stable. Everything's good. At least join him. Yeah. Like there's so many compromises that could have been made. And

And she just like made it so difficult in every regard. Yeah. The way that she acted about it made it so much worse. Yeah. It's goofy. Okay. On to the next one. Another one of this week's partners is Lumi. I just went to one of my best friend's weddings last weekend. And as I was rolling up, I started to smell myself and realized I forgot to put on deodorant. Yeah. I don't know why I do this to myself. I'm scrambling through my car. And luckily, I had...

my emergency stash of Lume. Keep it in my car. I've got five sticks throughout all my bags. I would be lost without Lume. Even if I've started to smell, I'll put Lume on. The smell is gone and it keeps working. Lume lasts for up to 72 hours. Baking soda free and paraben free, pH balanced, so it's safe for use below the belt. So if you're ready to try it for yourself, Lume's starter pack is perfect for new customers.

It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all Lumi products with our exclusive code. And if you can bind the 15% off code,

With the already discounted starter pack, that equals over 40% off their starter pack. Use code THT for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com. That's code THT at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. Thank you. This one is very interesting. I haven't read it. The title intrigued me immediately. It's coming from A-I-T-A-H, two days old.

Title is, Am I the Asshole for Filing for Divorce Because My Husband Overtightens All of the Jar Lids. Okay. His overtightening jar lids has been an issue since he was just visiting at my house when we were dating. First, it started with just things he used, and then over time, it became every damn glass jar with a metal lid.

He would tighten them so much, I couldn't open them without assistance. It wasn't a huge deal if he was there, but if I was alone, it was so annoying. More times than I can count, I've opened a new jar of something because I just couldn't get the jar open. It's been a recurring cycle over the past five years.

It's just a thing that would escalate until I had a major meltdown and freaked out, screaming, frustrated, and seemingly crazy because it's just a jar lid.

Then it would get better for a while. Then it would slowly become an issue again, just getting worse and worse until I reach a breaking point again. Sometimes I literally feel insane for being so upset over jar lids. He initially claimed that he did it to, quote, keep food fresh.

After many arguments about it and my insistence that I don't believe it keeps anything fresh, and even if it does make things last longer, I don't care if it means I can't eat my freaking food when I want. I'll just replace things that go bad because they are closed normally. Then the excuse was that it's just a habit of his. So about a month ago, my husband had a family emergency and had to travel out of state for 10 days.

First day he's gone, I discover a jar I can't open. I was annoyed and was going to go to the store to buy new pickles when the neighbor said hi and let me know if I needed anything while ex... Oh my God. She goes soon to be ex. Already calling him ex. Already calling him an ex. Is out of town.

I said, wait here and got the jar, which he opened. The next day I saw him outside and asked him to open another jar. He offered to come open all the jars. I agreed and he came in and he went to the fridge and opened all the jars except two, which he couldn't even get open.

I thanked him profusely and told him I'd bake some of his favorite cookies later in the week. He laughed and said it was no big deal. And after confirming that I wouldn't be upset if the remaining two jars were destroyed in his attempt to open them, he took them home to his garage to open them one way or another. With tools.

He said that he's heard me screaming about over-tightened jar lids a few times over the years, and he's really pondered if I was crazy or if my husband really was over-tightening the jar lids. He said, you know, this was probably intentional. It was every jar, and I'm sure my ex doesn't regularly use hot pepper paste or mango puree or any of the other fancy cooking stuff.

Then he held up the two jars he couldn't open and said, I don't know why he's doing it, but it wasn't an accident. After he left, I locked the door and sat on my kitchen floor and cried. Then I felt hot and lightheaded. I vomited in the trash can. My chest hurt. It crossed my mind that I might be having a heart attack.

I thought about calling an ambulance, but sat back down on my kitchen floor instead. Okay with just dying if it was a heart attack. Oh my God. Later, the neighbor came back with the open jar of hot fudge and apologized that he couldn't save the figs. He said he broke the jar trying to get it open. He also apologized for what he said about my husband doing it on purpose. I assured him it was okay.

I couldn't sleep that night. I tossed and turned all night. I called out of work. By 10 a.m., I realized that I couldn't stay married anymore, and I made an appointment with a lawyer the next day. There are literally no other issues. No cheating, no abuse. We had a good sex life. Both have good jobs, nice house, no financial issues. He was absolutely blindsided when he came home and I told him I wanted a divorce.

He still won't admit that he tightened the jars on purpose. He suggested we go to marriage counseling, but I refused. There is no point. I just literally can't get past the goddamn jar lids. I still feel a bit crazy about that. I have no idea why he would tighten every jar lid so tightly that I couldn't open it.

He has given me no reason. He still won't even admit that he did it on purpose. But the hot pepper paste is in the back of the fridge. I use it only when I make Indian food. It's behind other things. He has never used it. It's nothing you could put in food without cooking it. The pepper paste could not have been an accident. It just couldn't.

Maybe he put mango puree on his toast or in his oatmeal, but the pepper paste couldn't have been an accident. That's what my life comes down to. I'm getting a divorce because the lid to my hot pepper paste was over-tightened. If it had been every jar except that one, then I could try. I could have had a sliver of doubt. I could do something else, but I just can't get past the hot pepper paste.

Most of our friends and families either think I'm crazy or an asshole. What do you think? Oh, God. Okay. So, okay. Wow. This was a crazy story. At first, I thought she was crazy, but I'm going to be honest. She sort of brought me around to her side by the end. Honestly, you read this and you're like, are you a little crazy? I think she knows it's a little crazy. Likely. But I feel like, honestly...

I feel like it's him. And this is some weird form of psychological abuse. I think so. That's what it started to feel like to me as well. Because first of all, how could it be? Okay. If it's about keeping it fresh, then why would it be less tight in the store? Like he's acting like the amount of tightness that it is in the store wouldn't be keeping it fresh. And like he needs to make it even tighter than that. So he admits that he

likes to do it to keep it fresh but then he also says I didn't do it

It's just a habit. It's confusing. Like, I know it's... I feel bad that he was blindsided about this. Like, but I really think he was doing this on purpose. Also, are you that blindsided if your wife has had routine meltdowns over this over the past five years? Well, that's another big thing. It's like, if this is the only problem and this is the only thing she's really asking of you and, like, consistently asking this...

and has brought it up multiple times with probably like tears in her eyes. Why can't you just do it? I just don't understand. And like, are there other solutions where it's like, okay, these are my jars and these are your jars? Yeah. Yeah.

But I also feel like with the pepper paste, the one she keeps bringing up, he doesn't use the pepper paste. So even stuff that is just hers, he's going in there, grabbing and tightening. It all comes down to the hot pepper paste. Unless there's like a little like Keebler elf coming in.

that's tightening this or the tooth fairy or like some jar fairy. I don't, I don't know. Like, well, isn't this like the actual definition of gaslighting is the guy would like turn the gas a little bit or something and then say he didn't. Oh my God. Is that how it started? Oh God. What does it mean? It was like the, he would like turn on the gas lights or something when she was away. God, I'm going to have to look it up. I'm so sorry. But it's something to do with that. It was like in a play and then he would lie about it.

And then she would like feel like she was going crazy because she kept noticing something about the gas lights. This is wild. I don't know. I think that she's crazy, but I think she's been brought to this point of craziness. I mean, after five years, and imagine like you're home alone working from home and you just want a piece of toast with some mango puree. You're hungry. You're hungry. Yeah. You're hungry. You can't open the jar that you need anything.

And it's such an inconvenience. You either have to go to the store and buy a new one or rely on other people like a neighbor, like a stranger. Yeah. Because you can't trust your own life partner to not over-tighten the jars. And the way she's talking about this and, like, the title of the post, you can tell that she knows, like, this...

alone sounds like a silly thing to divorce someone for like she knows that this isn't something that makes sense right away yeah like she has that awareness but it's like but i am going crazy i don't know what else to do and she finally got like an outside opinion about it and she was like other people are saying this isn't normal either so maybe i'm really not crazy

I don't know. I'm like trying to think if there's like any other explanation that jars could become too tight. And the only other thing I can think of is like, if it is actually super old, I know certain ones can like

to ferment and create gases. Like I think about kombucha. Yeah. Like kombucha, if you leave it in your fridge too long, it can actually explode. I didn't know that. That's good to know. And I tried, there was one that like definitely was way past due and I tried to open it and I couldn't get it open, but it doesn't sound like that's necessarily the case because again, it's every jar. It's not just the blah, blah, blah. That's

fermented and now is old. Well, and they've talked about it. And he's like admitted to the fact that he does do this. So it's like you have to suspend your disbelief that he's already told you he likes to tighten the jars more because it keeps them fresh. But now he's saying that the jars that are suspiciously tight can't be from him. And it's like if it's not out of him actively trying to mess with her, then he's at least like

ignoring something that has clearly caused her to be crazy before. Like willfully ignoring her request. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm kind of at a loss for this one. People usually yell at me for jumping to divorce very quickly. And this is OP jumping to divorce very quickly. Well, okay. If they had really a perfect marriage outside of just this and like they were so happy together, I don't think she would get a divorce. Like I think there's something like even if it's not something she can name, like maybe the jars are the one thing she can actually name about it not being right. Yeah.

But, I mean, come on. Like, if they had really the most perfect, incredible, passionate love marriage... That's true. I don't know if just the jars could...

I think I would try a separation before a full divorce. Like if everything is as perfect as she says, because like how hard is it to find that person? Everything's perfect. That's hard. I think I would try a separation where you live apart and then see if your jars are still getting tightened. Because what if this is one of those crazy like

unexplainable mysteries. And then she sets up a home camera and it's her like sleepwalking or him sleepwalking and tightening the jars. And it's a total accident. That would be interesting. Because how many, like I follow some crazy sleepwalkers on TikTok. Like

They do wild stuff in their sleep. I could see that being plausible. Yeah. I would set up a home camera. I'd be like, if we have the best marriage, I love this person so much. And like, they're telling me they're not tightening these jars anymore. They've stopped tightening the jars. I need to know. I'll set it up. I think what it really is though, is she doesn't trust him. And she also doesn't trust his intentions. This is so weird. Yeah. This is just so weird.

What do people think? So the top comment, plot twist, the neighbor has been sneaking in to tighten the lids in a plot to break them up. I was also thinking she should get with the neighbor. What? Oh.

The neighbor's like, why am I in it? All I did was open her jars. Which to go from the man that locks all your jars on you to the one that opened them. Wait, that's so funny though. Cause he has heard her complaining about the jars before. And like, maybe the husband did stop and he's like, but she hates that. He always does that jar thing. You know what? I love that neighbor girl. She's, she looks good when she walks down the street. I kind of want a piece of that. Yeah.

That would be a bit psychotic. Yeah, this feels like a little bit more of a reach than the fact that the man who says he likes tightening jars is just tightening the jars. Neighbor watching from the window as they argue over lids for the 43rd time. Quote, yes, yes, any day now. That is so funny. I'm just imagining this dude sneaking into a dark kitchen every night to tighten all the jar lids while manically laughing.

The neighbor or the husband? The neighbor. Wow. The neighbor. People are suspicious of the neighbor. There is one comment that's a bit constructive.

This is like the opposite of weaponized incompetence. If all of what OP said tracks, then he's continually putting his wife in a situation where she feels weak and needs his help. It would make him feel like a big man came to the rescue of his lady. It's the only explanation that really makes sense here outside of just wanting to piss his wife off. In which case, oof.

And that's what I thought, too. I felt like psychological abuse, but also creating a situation where she needs him. She's dependent on him. Only he can save the day. Because she even mentioned that in the beginning of it. She was like, when he's home, it's not as big of a problem. But when he's not here, like, I really struggle. I know. She should have had him open all the lids before he went on his trip. Well, little did he know that the neighbor was more than willing to help her out.

Okay, let's see what OP says in the comments. See if there's any other info we get. Hmm. She wants to divorce this man. She just wants to divorce him.

He was the master of not admitting things, but saying things like, maybe I moved it, or maybe I tasted it. He wouldn't outright admit it, but if he and I were the only ones in the house, and I had a picture taken before work, and now it's moved, he couldn't really swear he never touched it, could he? Oh, see, this is like, it's been a thing. This has been a thing. Neighbor is gay. Oh, wow. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay.

That changes things. So he's, well, you know what? He could just love the drama. He does. Apparently, OP did suggest counseling years ago, several times, and he was the one that refused.

So she's at her rope's end now. She's like, dude, wits are gone. Wits are gone. If there was a time that she would have tried everything else to make this. And well, actually, it sounds like she has been begging for this to stop for years. Yeah.

Well, and like we have offered solutions like she only has her jars that and that he doesn't touch. Yeah. Some people were like, why don't you empty every jar in a Tupperware? And Opie was like, I don't want to go through the trouble of doing that. It would be solved if he would just leave my stuff alone. Right.

I'm not doing 50 hours of work and inconvenience to save him the trouble of not messing with my stuff. It's literally that simple. I'll put my stuff on a shelf and he'll never touch it. Problem solved. But no, he won't do that. I mean, she's right for that. She's right for that. He stopped doing it for a year when I threatened to stop letting him visit while we were dating. I don't think sleepwalking responds to threats, so I guess that makes it pretty simple. Oh!

Oh my god. She, you know what? Anything we can think of, she's been stewing on this, like, the entirety of their relationship from when they were dating to their marriage. Oh my god.

She's literally thought of everything. And she does say here, like, I didn't jump to divorce straight away. I have had thousands of conversations about this. Right. And we were talking about like maybe moving into her own place and she would notice that she still struggles with it. But like, obviously, she's saying she's when she was dating him. It wasn't a problem unless he was visiting. Mm hmm.

This is so odd. Did he read this on some weird forum about how to keep a woman dependent on you? I don't know. Some people are suggesting maybe it's OCD, but then she makes a reference to like he stopped doing it for a year. Like if it was OCD, I don't think he could just like turn it off is what OP says. Right. And it doesn't sound like he has any other things. It's just literally just the jars. Just the jars. This is just, this is abuse. Like this is, I think genuinely like he's,

just fucking with her. I think like to get that crazy over something like that, it has to have been so consistently stressful. Like obviously she knows she's at the end of her rope about something silly and she like still is at the end of her rope about it. Yeah. And he won't admit it. And it sounds like she's saying this happens about a lot of stuff. Yeah. Like he doesn't admit what he does. Yeah.

And he'll be like, maybe. And like, it's driving her crazy. I understand why she's gone insane. Like the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over expecting different results. She's had a conversation with him about not tightening jar lids a thousand times and he still does it. I would be insane too.

And we have an edit. Ooh. Well, after defending myself in this post, I've realized there are some other things that are also circumstantial that also weigh into my decision. I had to move my office from my dining nook to a locked room because he was using my workspace on days I went to the office. That was no big deal, except he was moving important documents that I needed for work. He denied moving anything and swore he was just setting up his laptop and maybe using my printer.

I started taking pictures of my desk before I left for work and things were being moved. He was the only one home.

He totaled my car twice in five years, even though he rarely drives it. The second time was right after we married, and he put a lot of pressure on me to use the insurance money to pay off his car instead of replacing mine because I don't drive a lot and I sometimes bike to work. We live in the suburbs and there is no public transportation. He proposed that I could just use his car when I needed to, but I really wanted to continue having my own car.

As soon as we married, he was pressuring me to have a child. His plan for childcare was for me to watch the baby while working. I wanted to save a year of childcare expenses before we talked about a baby. He didn't want to. I just felt weird about it. So I got an IUD to make sure we didn't have an accident. He was angry. Again, nothing proves any ill intent on his part, but all of these things just unsettled me.

This is so interesting because I feel like what she's realizing is he is making her life worse and, like, making things harder for her. And then, like...

being vague and weird and like, no, I didn't do that about it. And it feels, it feels intentful to me. Like, yep, I agree completely. When I had college roommates, those, come on, those, come on. I had to do the same thing. I'd get a chocolate cake and I'd take a picture of my chocolate cake before I put it in the fridge because sometimes they would eat my things and then I would have photo proof and I'd be like, you ate my ding dongs. Don't touch my ding dongs again. Look at this photo of my ding dongs. But then there were multiple roommates so I couldn't prove who it was. Oh,

But I'm telling you, if people mess with your shit and like, you know, evade it, it makes you like, okay.

no, we can't be doing this anymore. Oh my God. I'm so frustrated for her. Totaled her car twice in five years and like no issues with his own car. But also we're not using the insurance money to replace your car. Yeah. We're using it to pay off mine. And also that feels like it was intentional. Only him having a car also goes back to like making her rely on him. Yes. I'd be so curious to know if there's any other like controlling tendencies like

he doesn't let me see my friends that much. Every time I have something important come up, something goes wrong with him. Like, I'd be so curious if like now because of all these other instances, she's slowly starting to realize other things. I do feel like breaking up with someone or even just sort of deciding it's time to break up with someone feels like coming out of a coma. And all of these things that you either you've noticed, but you were like, well,

no one's perfect and they're not doing it to her. Like all of these things become clear to you and you're like, am I an idiot? Like how did I not see this before? No, I'm genuinely a little concerned for her. I am too. Like I'm glad she has the lawyer in place. Papers have been served by the sounds of it. Like,

But I would be concerned about retaliation, like, once they separate. Like, I came out and my tires were slashed, but not all four, only three, because insurance doesn't pay for it then. Like, you know what I mean? Right. Or like, huh, my hose was left on all night and the backyard got flooded. Like, it's very...

It's very, it's nothing that she can really tell people where they'll be like, yeah, you should divorce him for that. No, it's small little things that when you tell people make you look nuts. And I think that was his goal. Yeah. Because like he then can play like the victim. Like she divorced me because I tightened jar lids. Right. Because it sounds crazy. It sounds nuts. It sounds crazy. Now, you know who has worms in the brain? Him. Mm-hmm.

He is nuts. And he's trying to put worms in her brain. He's trying to inject worms into her brain. Dude, this is scary behavior. And like she's figured it out. I'm so glad. She's like after all of this time and all of these things of just like making my life harder no matter how much I ask and like making me feel crazy for it. Even though I know that these are silly little things, enough is enough. Like this isn't how I want to feel for the rest of my life. No.

This is nuts. Okay, we're going to lighten it up a little bit on this next one. Okay, so this next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? Three days old. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for calling my girlfriend a dumbass and taking away her key after she almost burned my house down? My girlfriend wanted a pizza and I have really good frozen pizzas from the local Italian market. They are made fresh and if you do them on a pizza stone, they come out perfect.

I have made pizza for us many times. It is a simple process. You take the pizza stone, put it in the oven, let the oven preheat, put the pizza on the paddle, and slide it onto the hot stone. Once it's ready, you slide the paddle onto the pizza and pull it out. Put it on the carving board and cut it. Easy, right? Nope.

My pizza stone was dirty. It is scorched, not dirty. So her brilliant idea was to make the pizza on my plastic cutting board. Because that way, she could just take the cutting board out with the oven mitts and cut the pizza without having to use all of the tools. I got home to see black smoke coming out of my house and my girlfriend on the phone with 911.

My dog is not on his leash and he's going crazy. I go to the front door to see if it's hot in the house or if I can see flames. No flames, no heat. I get to the stove and turn it off. I open the sliding door to let out more smoke and get my leash on the way out. The firefighters are there within five minutes and the smoke is already dissipating. They go in to make sure everything is good. All clear.

Thank God they were there less than an hour. It is covered by the city then. If it was over an hour, I would have been charged for their response. My oven is fucked though, and I have a lot of smoke damage to clean up. Yeah, smoke damage is rough. I told my girlfriend I was glad she was okay, but that she is a dumbass and she wasn't allowed in my house alone for a while. I took her key away. We do not live together. But she has roommates and likes having a big house to herself on her days off.

She says that it's a mistake anyone could make and that I'm an asshole for calling her names. Yes, she said those words. She says it's my fault for not just getting microwavable pizza and having to eat the fancy stuff. So am I the asshole? This is crazy. Girl, you can just buy a microwave pizza if you want to. You wanted the gourmet stuff. That's why you went over there. Have a microwave pizza at your own house.

I mean, it's your fault. It's your fault. Clearly, it's not on purpose. But this is like an issue of you messed up really badly. You have to apologize sincerely. Yeah. Like, sorry, you were a little bit of a dumbass. Yeah. In that situation. Yeah. I mean, you've seen people on TikTok.

There's been some people that just don't think and put the cutting board in, you know, it happens. Or you see some people that just put the pizza on the metal grill and then the cheese, it starts drooping down.

You know, you learn as you go through life. Right. That happens. But then to be like, well, it's your fault. You should have had microwavable pizza. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm like, I'm sure she didn't know it was a plastic cutting board, right? Like maybe she just didn't even know about it. I mean, at least like put it on a baking sheet, like a cookie sheet. Right. Or just like the pizza stone, like still, like honestly, this is kind of gross, but like my little air fryer has a basket. Yeah.

It's got some hash brown chunks on it. I still cook toast on it today. That's okay. I was like, whatever. I cannot clean. I just can't. You're valid for that. I got a rat running around. I cannot clean this. I cannot take on one more thing. Listen, this girl, she's not the brightest star in the sky. And that's okay. That's okay. And it's, yeah, it's not nice to be called a dumbass. Like, I would be upset about being called a dumbass. Nicer words could have been used. Could have been used. However...

I think it depends on the tone of which it was used when said. And honestly, if someone did this to me, I would probably be like, you're a dumbass. You are a dumbass. I'm glad you're okay. That was a dumbass thing to do.

Also, like there's so many other things here where it's like she didn't even shut the oven off. Right. That's crazy. She didn't grab the leash for the dog. The dog is running outside. Like what if the fire trucks roll up? The dog gets scared from the sirens, gets hit by a car. Like there's so many other steps that she again just maybe panic took over or whatever. But still shut the oven off, get the dog leash.

You know, like at least she called 911. But I think like if I had to buy a new oven and repaint. Oh my God, ovens are so expensive. And all my clothes are scorched smelling and like stuff got damaged. Like I, you kind of are a dumbass. You're a dumbass. And you're also helping me pay for this. Yeah. One of my houses in Massachusetts when I was really little, there was a fire in this really old drying machine.

And luckily like it didn't spread at all. Like there wasn't bad fire damage, but the smoke damage was so bad. And like so many things had to be replaced. Like I think like the wallpaper and stuff, like a ton of like parts of the house. Like it's such a bad problem. I guess like if it's that bad, you have to replace like sheetrock and drywall and everything. Yeah.

Like in that moment, if I caused that, I would be so apologetic. I would be, I would feel so, so, so terrible to like, even if I just mess up like a tiny thing in someone's house. Like, I don't know. I would.

apologize profusely and feel so bad about it and this is just another instance of like i don't think she did on purpose if she were doing it over the course of five years over and over again like the jars then i would be a little bit like okay girl wait a minute like if this has happened a few times maybe you have intentions here but but at this point it's like you have to apologize when you fuck up like that you know that's the thing just apologize yeah help make it right

But also you can't be trusted alone for a little bit. And that's just the consequence. Right. We're going to show you some YouTube videos on like common house safety rules, oven safety. There needs to be a course on this. By the way, plastic can't go in the microwave either. What the? Oh my God. There's a metal like that's like being like, oh, I put metal in the microwave and it broke. I didn't know. It's like, well, that's kind of common. Like, yeah, come on.

Top comment, you're not the asshole. And they quote OP. She says that it's a mistake anyone could make. And the person goes, maybe if they're high as a kite, she has a point. But anyone over the age of five knows plastic melts. If heating frozen pizza in the oven correctly is outside of her scope of abilities, you're not the problem.

Damn. I mean, I kind of get it because sometimes there are things that I'm like, wow, how did I not know that? But but but no, I don't think I would do something like that. Also, can we talk about how she said it's his fault for not having microwavable pizza? Yeah. Microwavable pizza sounds gross and soggy. I wouldn't want microwavable pizza. That's disgusting. I actually don't own a microwave.

Really? There's no microwave in my house. We only reheat things on the stove or the air fryer. That's so much yummier. It tastes so much better. Our life takes a little extra time, but it is the flavor. Unreal. Microwaves ruin your shit. Yeah. Soggy, gross. Like put a burrito in a microwave. Nasty. Honestly, I think I only ever use the microwave to like melt butter or have popcorn. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Try the stove. I got stove popcorn too. Wow. I'm really in my homemaker era. Look at you going. Future trad wife. This is so crazy. Just kidding. I feel like this has been sort of a theme in the last like a few of the stories where it's like you wouldn't be that wrong in this situation if you realized that this was your issue and apologized for it. Like the honeymoon also. Yeah.

I don't know. It is so weird. Anyways, his solved. Maybe they'll break up because she doesn't sound capable of having an adult relationship anyways, given her reaction. Right. This is when I'm good with breakup. I'm good with breakup. They don't have kids involved. Breakup. I don't know. I'm worried about if that dog is going to be all right. It sounds like she can't handle that responsibility. No.

No. We had one episode where there was a dog that a guy had and it was on like painkillers because it broke its back and the girlfriend put a weighted blanket on it and killed the dog. Yeah. I was in that episode. Yes. See, this is like you tell a story in front of a friend and they're like, I was there. Yeah. And she didn't apologize. Yeah. That was crazy. No. But moving along.

This next one is coming from the Too Hot Takes subreddit, 20 hours old. Ooh, yeah. Titled, am I the asshole for making my coworker sit in the back seat so my dog can sit up front?

Hello, this happened about two weeks ago and I wanted some advice from an outside source. I, 26 female, work a corporate job and I have a colleague, 50s female. I wouldn't say I have an issue with her necessarily. We just never see eye to eye, so we are not very close and our interactions are minimal.

One week, she was having her car repaired, and she asked if I was willing to pick her up and take her home from work. We live very close to each other, within three minutes. I said, sure, no problem. I would just have my dog with me because he goes to daycare while I am working. I told her that my dog likes to sit up front with me, and he gets a little scared in the back seat. So she will have to sit in the back while my dog is in the car with me. She chuckled and said, quote, yeah, okay.

I replied with, quote, I'm so serious, but I will see you. Monday morning, I arrived at her home with my dog in the front seat. I texted her here and she walked out. She stood at the passenger door with a confused look on her face. I rolled down the window and told her, hop in the back. When we drop him off, you're free to move up front. She scoffed and said, I didn't think you were seriously going to let a dog sit up front over me.

I told her again, quote, he gets scared in the back. I told you prior, this is the arrangement. She rolled her eyes. Typically, I don't tolerate disrespect in my car, but I let it slide. I dropped my dog off at daycare and told her she is free to come up front. No response. Before walking into the office, I asked if I was taking her home today and if I am still going to pick her up slash drop her off for the rest of the week.

She said, quote, not if you're going to make me sit in that back while that dog sits up front. I replied, quote, no worries then. This coworker told everyone at work I made her sit in the back while my dog sat up front.

A lot of people are calling me an asshole and said I should have let my dog sit in the back or even dropped the dog off first and then turned around and gotten her. I told her the arrangement and how it works in my car, but I'm starting to think, am I the asshole?

No, I'm sorry. You're doing something for this person. Okay, my roommate's dog, Sugar, is such a sweetie, sweetie pie angel. And she gets really scared in cars. And like when I'm driving her even just to the park, she starts crying. And I want to like have my hand on her to pet her so she's okay. Yeah. I don't think it's this crazy ask. Like what is so disrespectful about being in the backseat? Oh, do you disagree? No, I think I would...

disagree if it wasn't communicated very, very, very clearly up front. If it would have been like sprung on this coworker, like as OP text here, and then she walks out and she's like, okay, okay, can you like move your dog so I can get in? Then it would feel weird. But because it was communicated so well up front, I'm like, no, not the asshole. But

I do see why the lady is like kind of offended. Like, yeah, it's kind of like, well, God, I'm just what am I chop liver? Like sit in the back. You dirty. Yeah, I think she needs to explain to her. It's not like because I don't respect you as much as my dog. Like it's not because I think my dog is like more important than you that I'm putting it in the front and you're in the back. It's like

My dog will be in danger. She'll be like crawling. I don't know what gender the dog is. Did they say? They'll be like crawling and crying and like pawing at things. Yeah. So that's not something that I can do if I'm driving you to and from work. Like they're doing that person a favor. Yeah. And like they're worried about their dog. I know. I just think that like

I understand why it's being taken as a disrespect thing, but I think it needs to be communicated. It's not a disrespect thing. No. And that could also be because of the generational difference too. The colleague is in their 50s. OP is 26. I think our generation treats pets a lot differently than other generations. We are more so like, our pets are our children. We love them. Like,

like I literally have four horse toys. Yeah. Like I posted about one of the toys and people were like,

toys for your horses, that's weird. Like, I didn't know... Why is that weird? I'm just trying to keep them engaged. Yeah. I got a ball. It's, like, got holes in it and I shove carrots in it and they, like, they, like, it almost... I don't know. It's enrichment for them. Like, I just want them happy. Maybe it's because I'm the youngest child and I've always had to be in the back seat in the middle. Like, always the worst seat in the car. And, like, I just know that that's what I have to do when I'm with my family. I know. But I just, like, don't think...

I wouldn't feel offended about my friend being like, hey, I'm sorry, my dog gets really nervous. So she's going to sit in the front. I'd be like, okay, that's totally fine. Cool. I'll hop up. Whatever. Thank you for driving me to work this whole week. Also, it's like, just pretend it's an Uber lady. Like she's doing you a favor, picking you up, dropping you off every day. You're saving money that you would be on Ubers or a rental car or whatever. Pretend it's an Uber.

That's you always sit in the back. Yeah, that's like car service. There you go. It's a car service She is your chauffeur. Yeah, there you go Glass half full not empty Come on and I feel like what makes this worse is that the woman went to all the co-workers instead of just being like The drama to involve everyone else right to tell everyone when she was trying to do you do you a favor? Like I would just go to her and be like, hey, I feel a little bit disrespected or whatever I was feeling in that moment like

I don't know why an animal like deserves more respect than I do because clearly that's how she's feeling, which I get why she could come to that point. But like I do feel that OP tried really hard to explain up front why it was important that the dog sit where it does. And like this is the situation if you're going to be driven in my car, unfortunately. It just is what it is. Yeah. Beggars can't be choosers. Yeah. As the saying goes.

Top comment. Your car, your rules. But you do know it's safer for your dog to be in the backseat just like it is for kids. If you're in a wreck, the airbags going off could kill your dog. Oh, that's interesting. I didn't know that. I didn't either. But it makes sense why there's a big push for dog seatbelts now. Oh, yeah. Like the harness and then you like have the dog seatbelt. I wonder if it depends on like the size of the dog.

Probably. Because if it's a really tiny dog, it'd probably be okay, right? In the front. I feel like this tiny one would like have even more momentum to really smash into an airbag. Oh, God. I got into a car accident at like 30 miles per hour and didn't have my seatbelt on and hit the airbag. It was not good. So imagine like highway speeds. Yeah. I mean, it's like a person being unseatbelted. And then if it rolls like...

Yeah, backseat and seatbelt. There's really not an ideal dog and car situation. No. And also, like, I guess, like, I don't know how long the shifts are and, like, how long they're working, but this is a hot take. Ooh, tell us the hot take. Your dog does not need to go to doggy daycare every day. Oh, okay.

A lot of dogs get more stressed out going to doggy daycare. Of course, you're going to have the golden retriever that loves everyone and, you know, king of the hill at daycare. But like the average dog...

Dog daycares and dog parks aren't that great for your dogs. I've noticed that whenever I've taken one of my dogs to the drop-off for those things, they get so stressed. Well, I've had fairly anxious dogs, generally speaking, so I don't know if this is true of the majority of dogs. But they hate being dropped off at the daycare. Yeah. Some dogs love it. Some dogs, it's genuine enrichment. But others, like...

it's not the best for them. Like it can actually teach them like really bad social behaviors and habits. So like if you want to create a well-balanced dog, you go to the dog park, but you sit outside of it and literally teach your dog like neutralization. That makes sense. Yeah. Like maybe just having someone come to your house a couple of times while you're at work. Well, there's like, there's Rover. And I know like some people have had horror stories with Rover. So like

take everything with a grain of salt. But if your dog is that stressed out in the car, then like a car trip twice a day maybe isn't what's best. Like maybe set up the robot camera that you can see your dog and give it treats and have Rover come over, which...

Rover is probably cheaper than the daycare. So a win is a win all around. Yeah. Or like find some kid who lives on your street or like adult, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. My like realtor lives in the neighborhood too. And she has this little kid that walks her little mini horse all the time. She's stimulating the economy and giving the kid a job. That's a great job. Dude, I would walk a mini horse. Yeah.

He gets paid like 20 or 40 bucks just to like take it around the block. Oh my God. Yeah. Maybe I need a career change. Honestly, I think Rover would be really fun. Yeah. Except when you get this, like I saw one girl that got pounced on by like a cane Corso and I'm like, okay, I'm only taking the little guys. Yeah. I've also heard like bad things from both sides. Yeah. Cause like, it's just a stranger coming into your house while you're not home and like,

doing whatever they want. Yeah. Have a home camera. Yeah, that's true. Everyone should have cameras at their house. Please do. Security. Do you have any home camera sponsors? I don't. There should be. Come on, home cameras. Yuffie, Yuffie, you are all over my house. I love you. Yuffie, if you're listening, you're the best home cameras ever. They're solar powered. I don't have to charge them. They literally recharge themselves. That's iconic. They're the most amazing cameras. There's the free promo. Oh, man.

Okay. Are most people on her side or whose side are most people on? I would say yes. Wanted to add that the safest way to travel with a dog is with them in a vehicle-tested carrier. Those are crazy expensive and don't fit in every car. So the next best thing, from what I've read, is a hammock seat cover in the backseat of your car. This is what I do with my SD. San Daniel? No, that's a prosciutto. A cheese? Prosciutto. Wait.

What am I thinking of? It's like a salami. Like a, yeah. Never mind. I'm like searching SD. I was like thinking like standard. Standard dog. Well, I usually see SD with like standard poodle. So I'm curious if this person is saying standard doodle, which like, man, that's not a thing. Not a thing.

But I don't know. Someone will know. Someone, someone will. It's not going to be me. I bet a few people will. So there is another comment. It's a fucking favor. I would not have let her in my car. Oh, P goes, she's never allowed to breathe in my car's direction again. What?

Someone else goes, notice how none of the other co-workers volunteered to pick her up and drop her off. Instead, they just talk trash to you. Your car, your dog, your rules. Yeah. That's what really pisses me off about this story is just the fact that she went and complained to all the co-workers. Like if you were just upset about it, that's fine. That's your prerogative. And like, don't drive in my car anymore then. That's fine. But to like go and tell everyone that you're a disrespectful person when you were trying to help them out. Mm-hmm.

Don't love it. I don't love it at all. At all. It's actually quite annoying. It's like, don't. She's doing you a favor. You didn't like it the one day. Okay, cool. But to go and stir the pot like that and create drama. I hate when people create unnecessary drama. At work, no less. Which I feel like you could go to HR and like if it does become like a hostile work environment for you, you could go to HR and talk to them about it. Ugh, annoying. Yeah. Yeah.

Last one for us on this full episode. Last worm in the brain. So I did read this one on Patreon. And don't worry, if you are on Patreon, you're going to be getting an additional bonus story to make up for having it twice. Never going to sell my people short.

But I just felt like it was so reminiscent of another story we've had that kind of really created a sense of community. And it's one that I could think could be very divisive and someone within it could have worms in their brain. Okay. So it had to come back in this theme. It is five days old, coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Selling My Late Wife's Cake Recipe to a Bakery?

Oh, wow. My late wife passed three years ago. Our two kids were in their late 20s at the time. It's been a hard few years, and it is even harder now that I live alone. She had a lovely dark chocolate cherry cake. It was my favorite thing that she would make, and I always requested it for Father's Day.

I am a shit baker, and I have tried to remake it from her notes. The notes are not very clear, and it never turns out correct. It is depressing spending so much time and it being wrong again and again.

I've asked my two kids to try and make it, but they have refused. I was told that they will not figure out the recipe and to stop asking. I went to a local bakery and asked for them to figure it out. They agreed as long as I gave them the permission to sell the cake in the store. It didn't take them long to figure it out, and it is almost exactly the same to my wives.

I bought one for Father's Day and my kids were happy about the cake until I told them the bakery did it. They are pissed I would sell their mother's recipe to a bakery. This whole week they have been telling me how I am a jerk for this and now I'm wondering if I really am the jerk. I just wanted to eat her cake again. I don't think he's an asshole for that. I think what would have been nice would be if they could name the cake after his wife.

In the bakery? Yeah, I think that that would be sweet. That's beautiful. I hope they did. Yeah, I'm trying to think

I'm starting to think about it. Like, I feel like we do have family recipes, but it's not, we are not secretive about it. I think it depends on how his wife acted about it. Like, if she didn't want other people to know it or use it, like if it felt sacred in her opinion. But I don't have that experience. It's more of like, yeah, this is passed down from my great grandmother, but that doesn't mean like I wouldn't let someone else have the recipe if they asked for it. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. Some families are very, very possessive about their recipes. Right. And I get it. You know, it could turn into a huge profitable thing. Like, look at Bush's Baked Beans, that family recipe. Million dollar, billion dollar corporation now. Like, I get it. But I don't think the kids, and this is what we kind of talked about on Patreon, I don't think they have the right to be upset after they repeatedly shut their dad down and said, okay,

stop asking. We're not going to figure out the recipe. Yeah. Stop asking. I understand like being a little bit upset about the commercialized aspect of it and the monetization of their dead mother's recipe. I guess I could see how they would take it that way. But it's like the other option is it dies with her or it lives on.

Like something that she made. I love the name idea. That did not come up for us. Wouldn't that be sweet? That would be really cute. Especially like, I mean, any name like Rose's Cherry Cake, Amber's Cherry Cake. Like that's such a beautiful honor for her. But

I'm really frustrated by these kids and their treatment of their dad. I know. Because it could have been such a beautiful thing. Like, hey, Father's Day every year. Let's try to get mom's cake down. You go over there, you spend Father's Day with him. Bring your kids if you have any. And what a beautiful memory trying to get grandma's cake perfect. Yeah. Because they were acting like it didn't matter to them until he did this.

So it's like, how like kind of cruel and heartless. Yeah. And I get they've suffered a great loss too. Of course. But like his line here, I just wanted to eat her cake again. Yeah. He's missing his wife. And like, I don't know. I just feel like it's sad.

It's sad that they sort of blame him for this when he's been asking for it to be sort of a family thing that they do and they don't want that. So it's like, what can he do? He really didn't have any other choice. No, like he's tried to make it. He's asked them to try to make it like he doesn't know anyone else who's a professional baker. I think it's sweet that he took the effort to like bring it to a bakery to try to figure it out because he cared that much. I know.

And like, how disheartening would that be if like you just wanted your wife's cake and every single time you tried to make it, it's just disappointing and it's not what it should be. Yeah. Because then it's like almost like it just feels like a reopening a wound. It's like, yeah, my wife isn't here. I can't have her cake and I fucking can't get it right either. Like that would just feel so raw. And it's only been three years like.

That's like this. This is like three Father's Day now. He wouldn't have had the cake. Like, yeah, unless she explicitly in her life was like, this is a secret recipe. I don't want anyone to ever know about it. Yeah. Then I don't understand how what he did was wrong. I don't think he's wrong. I feel like the kids will come around. I hope so.

All of the top comments are different from when I read this initially. Oh, interesting. So I haven't seen any of these. I think I initially read it when it was a couple hours old. Like opinions have changed on it, you think? Not so much changed, but everything I'm seeing looks different now. So top comment. I'd think of this as a way for your wife to live on in what she created to bring happiness to others. It's not like you did it for the money. With the bakery considering...

Michaela. Wait, hello? Would the bakery consider using your wife's name as a part of the item's name, not the asshole? That is totally fucking new. And if you don't believe me, get on Patreon. OP goes, I highly doubt it and I will not ask them. They've already done so much for me and gave me the recipe with clear instructions. I'm not going to bother them about the cake name. I am just happy I can eat it again.

Sir. Sir, come on. They did not do that much for you. They're selling your cake now. They're making money off your cake. Yes, you have the recipe and that is very nice of them to give you the recipe written out. But you're also giving them... For free. An amazing cake, not asking for royalties. You can ask about the name. And if they say no, then there's your answer. Right. But I don't think they're going to say no. No, it's a great story for them too. It's a...

If I walked into a bakery and saw a little placard in memory of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that's probably the cake I would buy. Yeah. I don't even like cherries and I want to make this. I want to go find the bakery and get their cake. People would think it tastes better if they knew it was from some beautiful past white mother who had this home family recipe. That's so sweet. So sweet. And honestly, sir...

If you want to really help the bakery and ensure they stay in business, give me the name. I'll message him right now. I didn't even think to message him the other day. Seriously. But I will send a message right now and be like, what's the bakery's name? I would love to share on the podcast. And then ask them. And then ask them to name it after your name. It's not like you're going to strong arm them. But what's the point? Like, what's the bad? Unless she has a really... No, there's no name that I can think of that'd be embarrassing. Unless she had a crazy name.

Even a crazy name. That's so cute. It still adds so much character to this little cake. It does. And whatever it is, it'll make it sound homemade, which I feel like people like. That's what I like at a bakery. I don't want Hershey's Factory's chocolate cake. I want Tina's chocolate cake.

I would love Tina's chocolate cake. I would love that. Especially Tina's, Tina Fey's. Tina Fey's. Tina Fey's, not Tina Turner's. Tina Fey's chocolate cake. Chocolate cake. Okay, I asked him about the bakery and then once he responds, then I'll go in with the ask about the name. I don't want to scare him off. You know, I don't want to scare him off. No, no, no, no.

But there's a lot of other comments in support. You did nothing wrong and totally agree about not bothering the bakery any further. You shut up. You shut up. Not you. You should have stopped about you did nothing wrong. The comment is saying that he shouldn't bother the bakery? Any further. But...

M-N-T-H-2-4-1 comes in. Doesn't hurt to ask, though. If it is important, it is probably too late to press the issue, but they may be willing. Or maybe I watch too many Hallmark movies. I'm sorry. What happens if this cake blows up and then they get all these franchises and this cake is a huge moneymaker for them and it becomes the new Nestle chocolate chip cookie? What happens then? Because...

All he got was the recipe in return, which obviously is enough for him. Like, that's all he really wanted. But I just think it's silly that anyone would be like, don't bother them any further. I don't think it's a bother. It's literally just an innocent ask. But someone does say, I hate when people say it doesn't hurt to ask because sometimes it does. Sometimes it hurts the person asking. And a lot of times it hurts the person being asked who is now in the position of having to say no.

Which that I could see. If he does ask and they say no, then it's like, well, do I still keep going back and buying this cake from them? Because like that would almost put a sour taste in your mouth. Yeah. And hurt a little bit. I feel like in this, in those situations, I try to give somebody an out within the way that I ask about it. That's smart. Like. That's really smart. Like, I don't know, like have some kind of thing, like it's totally understandable if this

if this part of it feels like if your branding is specific and this would sort of mess up things, I totally understand if that's the case. Like, you know, give them like something. Give them the excuse. Right. So they can be like, yeah, you're right. You know, we've already printed all the materials and it's on our new menu, you know, but on the next reprint, maybe we'll add it or at least they have an out. That's so smart. Yeah. Give people

people a little bit of an out because I hate to like that does make sense to ask something when you feel like you're backing somebody into a corner just by asking yeah

That does make so much sense. And that's such a good way if you're like nervous about asking something or like if you are scared of like the no or whatever, like give the person an out. Yeah. Then you do have to realize don't be hurt if they take it. Right. So it's just a mental. Personally, I will be a little bit pissed if they don't. Come on, bakery. Bakery, if you are listening now,

Ask him what the name is. Come on, bakery. Okay. If OP won't take charge, bakery, are you out there? Does anyone know a bakery that has recently added a cherry chocolate cake? Anyone? Anyone? He doesn't say where he lives, does he? No mention. Got it. No. I'm looking at other comments to see if there's anything we might want to know.

People ask why didn't the kids try. They claimed they didn't have the time or energy to do it. They asked why the kids are so against this. They hate that a random person owns and is selling their mom's cake. People ask like why continue to buy it if you have the recipe. I would much rather support the bakery so they don't go out of business. They also gave me a clear recipe so I could just make it but doesn't want to.

I don't think like the kids are super fucked up for it. Like when they state their reasoning, I do kind of understand it. But it sounds like like they don't have to care about their mother's cake recipe. I'm sure there are other things that they care about. Like there are other things like this really stuck out to the father. But maybe there are other things that are more meaningful for them that they're more focused on with the passing of their mother. Yeah. But.

This clearly mattered a lot to their father and that he had good intentions with this. Absolutely. So I just think like taking out any anger on him about this moment that was really exciting for him is a little selfish. That's the take. That like...

sit with your feelings yeah but he is excited he was sad he now has this cake what a beautiful happy moment for him on father's day no less give him that moment yeah well guess what y'all we have the full recipe he posted it so if the kids really want something to be mad about the internet has your mom's cake now bitches

So the recipe will be posted on our Instagram. I'll post it on the community tab of YouTube. But we have the full recipe with instructions. I'll be sure it's all there for everyone. That's so sweet. I am going to be going home to Minnesota, hopefully. And I will try to make it with my grandma. Yes. So I'll let you guys know how it goes. I love that. He's sharing with everyone. I think that like...

He's choosing to look at it in a beautiful way of like his wife living on through this cake and everyone experiencing it and like her still being there. And while I can understand the kids perspective on it, like that's their choice sort of to see it through a negative lens. Absolutely. So goofy.

So goofy. But I get it because feelings are irrational sometimes. And hopefully they'll come around like you said, like you can see them coming around. So like I hope they do. Yeah. I hope the bakery hears this. I hope OP responds to my chat. Just pay attention to me. I've messaged so many people lately and no responses. I just checked my message that I sent to OP about the story about Josh and

God, I want that so bad. No reply. But we did get an update on one of our other ones. Which one? So do you remember the story about am I the asshole for taking away my brother's plus one and inviting his girlfriend myself? Yes. Yes. We have an update on it.

So OP, Empty Earth 507 goes, I listen to two hot takes every day on my commute. So it was a huge surprise when you responded to my post. Thank you for your insights. Oh my God. Regarding the invitation, I now realize I shouldn't have phrased it as inviting a single person. I thought inviting households would be cute and less pressure for guests. Lesson learned, LOL. Here's an update I would like to share with you.

After the confrontation, I didn't hear from Leah or my brother for about two days. During that time, Amanda reached out to me about my Reddit post. Oh, yeah, because she said say hi to Amanda in the comments because she's here. Amanda found it. Right. Yeah. And Amanda, for those that just need a refresher or hadn't heard that episode...

OP's brother has a girl bestie, Amanda. And Amanda was going to be the brother's plus one to OP's wedding instead of his longtime girlfriend that OP loves. Right. And Amanda does this shit all the time. Amanda's a drama queen. She's broken up his relationships before. Amanda. And she's a bitch to OP. Yes. Yes. Please go back and listen to that recent episode with Michaela if you really want the full original tea. Feeling triggered episode. Feeling triggered. It was a good one.

So Opie goes on to say, she called me an asshole and insisted that, quote, Leah is not the only special woman in your brother's life. Oh. She argued neither Leah nor I have the right to be selfish with my brother's time, asserting she existed before Leah or any of his girlfriends and would outlast them all. She ended with a presumptuous statement that she would surely see me at my wedding. I was fuming.

I chose not to engage with her other remarks, but instead sent her a clear message. Quote, Hello, Amanda. You are not invited to my wedding. If you want to see the old gang, please organize a coffee date when they're all in town. Should you appear at the wedding, you will be escorted out peacefully by staff or with police involvement. Please refrain from contacting me or my husband.

To want to go somewhere where you're not invited and it's someone's wedding, no less. Like you just want to cause shit. You just want people to be angry and upset. Have some shame. No, that's literally humiliating. That's the thing. Are you not embarrassed? My fear of embarrassment would keep me the fuck out of that place. Oh my God. You don't want me there. You're telling me not to come and you've made a whole Reddit post about it. Like I,

Fine. I won't be there. I won't be there. It's cool. It's cool. The gall on this woman. Crazy. Amanda responded with more emails, mostly vague threats and name calling, and turned to Instagram to indirectly target me. She tagged me in posts, making my username so small people wouldn't notice me tagged, but I would see it in my notifications.

This is crazy. Sorry. Worms in the brain. Yeah, what the fuck? She also used an Ask Me Anything sticker on her Instagram story where I'm pretty sure she asked herself leading questions. Highlights included questions like, quote, what's the perfect outfit for a wedding?

With a photo of herself in a dress captioned this, but sadly, I'll never get to use it. Me in middle school, literally what I was doing in middle school on Curious Cat or Form Spring, asking myself questions. Do you have a crush on anybody? Like who's the last person? Just give me their initials of the last person that you kissed. Okay, so that's a universal experience. Yeah. Okay.

I will say I have never done this on the Too Hot Takes Instagram. So growth. Yeah. I've never asked myself a question. Yeah. No. I only respond to people. So integrity. Oh my God. This lady is delusional. And quote, what is your pet peeve? Followed by a rant about nosy people who think they have the right to control others.

She flooded her story with sad quotes about no longer having a girl's girl. She tagged me in every single one. Of course, I screenshotted them all. She has no shame. Send them over. Send them. Send them over. You know where I'm at. IG, DM me. I'll block out names. Send them over. Oh my god.

Some friends reached out when Amanda started spreading a different story, claiming, "'I originally invited her but later disinvited her because Leah hates her and pressured my brother to do the same.'"

The cool part? Not one person believed her. Many of our old high school friends have cut ties with Amanda, and a few guys who still talk to her are more linked to my brother. They reached out to let me know Amanda was spreading rumors. The girls in the group blocked her after she vented to them, which led Amanda to start bombarding their phones. My brother panicked, thinking I had started a campaign against her.

Speaking of my brother, he called and texted me multiple times, furious that I excluded Amanda and even blamed me for any harm she might come to. He went as far as calling our mother, saying Amanda was depressed and threatening never to forgive me if something happened to her. My mom advised him to call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, would not be equipped to handle such situations.

If any harm came to her, like is she saying people from Reddit are going to come to her house and attack her? I think she's saying she's so depressed she might hurt herself. Oh my God. The biggest development is that my brother got kicked out of his shared apartment.

Let's go, Leah. Did they break up? Leah called me to say their relationship might not continue and that she might not feel comfortable coming to the wedding. I understood her decision and offered an open ear. Because she's normal. Because she's normal. That's how I... Like, yeah. I...

Leah's a fucking gem. We met for coffee and she recounted their ugly fight. Without going into all the details, Leah didn't hold back. She made my brother read every single text out loud between him and Amanda and sent a copy to one of her male friends who replied, quote, Leah, what the fuck? This is not okay.

She used this as evidence that their interactions were, at best, inappropriate and, realistically, an emotional affair. When my brother begged her to stay, she asked him why, knowing he would always choose Amanda.

He swore he wouldn't, but his immediate response to a hysterical call from Amanda about, quote, me bullying her, proved otherwise. Leah left while he comforted Amanda in another room. Later, she texted him that he needed to move out while she was away. It's her apartment, and she didn't want to see him until certain conditions were met, e.g. cutting Amanda out completely and seeking therapy to address his unhealthy patterns. The fight spanned two intense days.

Leah found solace in your podcast and the comments here. Yes. She described it as surreal but helpful. She sends her greetings and wants people in similar situations to know a few things. Don't fear being alone because being with someone who's not good for you will make you feel lonelier than being single. Never enter a relationship with a I can fix him mentality as it usually ends in heartbreak.

prioritize yourself. And while trying to work things out is noble, don't depend on it as the solution. That's pretty much it. It sounds convoluted like a soap opera, but my day-to-day life has been surprisingly calm. I think my brother really needs to mature and either commit to Amanda or realize he's being strung along. And to Amanda, please grow up and leave me alone.

Oh my God. Queens. Two queens. Two queens. Your crowns fell off. Let me put them back on your head, queens. Oh my God. I love them. I love this. So, so proud of both OP and Leah. I mean, staying strong and like not giving in to the brother or pressure and like Amanda's online social harassment. Like that could cause anyone to crack under pressure. That's the thing is like these people will...

To have everybody else have a problem with you and to still think that like you aren't the problem and then to like be doing so many things publicly, like naming someone and sub...

tweeting not subtweeting what's the word for instagram it's like a subtweet like sub ig yeah like sub i instagramming them or whatever like repeatedly but it is what it is and then being like but they're bullying me like you weren't named like this was an anonymous story yeah yeah it sucks to like have your story told and for people's opinions to be read about you but like you're free from being claimed on it yeah so you got off lucky you got off pretty easy

Sorry that people have opinions on what you've done. You're the one that opened the can of worms by starting to share things publicly and trying to make yourself look like the victim. Yeah. People know you. They know your character. Yeah. So you're the one that just opened this can of worms and made people finally realize I've had it with this girl. Like Amanda, you only have to blame yourself. The brother, you only have to blame yourself. And there is a comment here that's interesting.

I bet they feed off of each other and make everyone around them miserable. And that's true. Like, he knows he's being strung along at this point. And if he doesn't, idiot. Yeah. And Amanda knows what she's doing. She gets to have her cake and eat it too. Like, they are happy with this arrangement.

They deserve each other. They need to be together. Just commit to each other. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's exhausting. I'm very happy that Leah broke up with him. Same. The sister just going off like that is so satisfying. Oh my God. I love it. And I love like, I love that people don't believe Amanda. Like that is so satisfying to me as well. That she's like trying to turn everyone against these people and they're like, sorry, we're not idiots. We know who you are. We get it. Yeah. We get it.

That's all I got for this worms in the brain episode. Wow. So many special little worms. I mean, from start to finish, from Shrek to our update about Aaliyah and Opie and the brother wedding invite. I mean, it has been an amazing wild ride. Thank you for taking me on it.

Thank you for coming. So thrilled to be on this ride with you. Michaela and me are practically neighbors. So you'll see you're seriously when I said you'll see a lot more of her. I genuinely mean it. It's so fun having you on. It's just I love it. I love the energy. Thank you so much. I love it. And did you know she actually listens to episodes she's not on like everyone. I do. Like she actually listens to the show as well. Like

It's the perfect show. It's so cute. We were just talking. I read this article that was like the best books for a road trip with my mom. And I was like, but you know what? Two Hot Takes is like the best podcast for a road trip because no matter what group of people you have, like your show works for anybody, which is so cool. I love that. I just, my favorite feedback. And I tell people when I meet them, when they tell it to me,

I love when they come up and they're like, you've encouraged me to have so many conversations with my partner, my mom that I didn't know I needed to have. I didn't know how to have. And it's brought us closer. We've learned so much about each other. Like, I love that. And it's validating like so many of the stories that you respond to. It's validating for the people listening. I love you guys. Thank you for making this whole thing possible. I'm gonna start crying.

I just, I really appreciate all the support. I'm like...

We're a long way into this show and it has really grown and evolved and found its sea legs or whatever you want to call it. But so thankful for you all and happy you're here. If you would like more Worms in the Brain story, me and Justin had some good ones. There's a great episode, full episode with Carrie and a couple more bonus stories that I don't know who I'm recording with yet. So come on over, check it out. Lots of free content as well.

So hopefully I'll see you there. Until next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.