164: Cheating the System.. Ft. Charlotte Dobre
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- Mucho gusto. Oh, ya nos conocemos? Soy el virus del COVID-19. Me disfrazo para burlar a tu sistema inmunitario. Mi compa, el virus de la gripe, y yo enfermamos a miles de personas cada año. Pero las vacunas actualizadas lo hacen mucho más difícil. - No se lo hagas tan fácil a estos virus.

Just a reminder to subscribe or follow or whatever you're feeling. Five stars. Only five stars. Enjoy the episode, guys. And my little feet. I'm so envious your feet touch the ground. That's so cute. They just hover here the whole time.

Well, to be fair, I am wearing platforms, so just a little bit of elevation. You got some height, though. I got some height. I wish you could donate a couple inches. Do you want to, like, take my feet? I might, yeah. Chop my legs off and I'll give them to you? Have you seen those knee transplant or, like, stretcher things people do? Yes. It's so bad for you. It's so dangerous. It's so bad. Oh.

Oh, man. I won't go that far. I'm fine. It's fine. You guys, I'll put some heels on. You're mini. You can fit right in the nook. You know what I mean? Just fun size, as they say. Polly Pocket. I'm so excited to have you today. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited, too. Woo!

I'm like, okay, you're probably, I'm probably the most nervous I've been in years. Why? I don't know. You're just so iconic. Oh my God. Just an icon. This is my first podcast, so I'm a little nervous too. I did my vocal warmups before I came in the Uber driver. I was like, what is she doing? Oh, you're good. Do you actually have vocal warmups? I do. Yeah. I do.

Well, because you're like jazz trained, aren't you? Oh my gosh. How did you know that? I did a little. A little deep dive? Yeah. And I was like, okay, how do I pronounce her last name? Dobre. Yeah. I know. You're Romanian. Oh, wow. I know. I always butcher people's names, so it like stresses me out, but. I appreciate that you learned. Okay. I appreciate it. You guys have probably recognized her voice. If you're watching on YouTube, you clearly know who is with us today. We're joined by Charlotte Dobre. Hi. Hi.

Did I say right? Yes, you did. Yeah, I know. You're great. As you literally just told me how to say it. I still, like, if I said it wrong, oh, God. But we're getting into it today. You are a YouTuber, actress, but I feel like people say actor now for all genders. I mean, it's still like best actress at the Oscars. I know. But then in their speeches, they only say actor. Oh. Like, actor. Actor. Female actor. Doesn't have the same ring to it. Actor.

Actress. Actress. Lioness. You know, you like embrace it. But you have an amazing channel. You also have gotten into reading Reddit stories lately. I have. Big fan of the Reddit stories. So good. I watched a couple of your videos and the way you like analyze them. I was so...

so mad. It was the one about the wife who has like 150K of credit card debt. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. That triggered me. I was mad. So good. You're just so, so fun to watch. Thank you. I'm really excited. I feel like you're going to nail my stories I've got today. Well, I'm excited to see what you got. So today's theme is a little bit cheating,

affairs, juicy drama. The working title I have currently is like cheating the system. Okay. These are people that are just going outside regular rules, rules of monogamy or life. Cool. Like that. Yeah. We got some interesting ones. Okay. Bring on the tea. Bring on the drama. Let's dive in, guys. So up first...

This is coming from AITAH. It is five days old. I accidentally accused my wife of cheating on me, but actually it was just my daughter. And now we may divorce.

What? Yeah. I have questions. Okay. So, sure. All right. Sorry for the length. A ton on my mind right now. Me, 52 male, and my, 50 female wife, have been married for 25 years and are immensely happy. We

We, of course, have the normal fights, me not cleaning the bathroom, arguing about me losing money on sports betting, her spending twice as much at the shops as we agreed to, etc. But overall, we have a really happy, healthy marriage. Until about 8 p.m. yesterday night. Recently, we've been having a bit of trouble in the bedroom. I don't want to derail the post, but basically, sex has naturally slowed down between the two of us in the last couple of years.

This has really bothered my wife and bothered me a bit also, I will admit. Once we vocalized the problem, we both agreed we're going to take steps to fix some things. We talked to some doctors. Basically, all of them wanted to put my wife on some serious medications, which my wife was pretty against. This led to about a year of building what we call our socials.

sex drawer filled with products in the kitchen that my wife has tried and tested in the kitchen and liked the ingredients of oh okay interesting spot for the sex drawer yeah interesting indeed it's nothing crazy literally like little things like vitamin d zinc some lubricil soft gels maca stuff has been tried and tested nothing too wild and all over the counter

Now here's where things start to go downhill. So my wife naturally takes these products around the times we're going to be getting intimate or try to. Now, I don't like to monitor the kitchen drawer, but sometimes I do peek. I know, but I can't help it.

About three-ish weeks ago, I noticed a ton of pills and soft gels were disappearing. Me thinking I'm about to have a pretty good week, I start to get mentally prepared for it. So about a week after that, I recheck the drawer and a ton more of the stuff has been taken. I remember thinking, that's weird. We haven't done anything recently.

About a week later, the same thing happened. Tons of pills and soft gels are gone. And I'm not going to lie, I get in my head a bit. Last night, me and my wife are out to dinner. After a couple of glasses of wine, I ask my wife why she's been taking so much of the stuff in the sex drawer without trying for intimacy.

I asked coming from an angle of both worry, mostly for health, and confusion. Immediately, my wife gets insanely defensive. Oh, okay. Blows off the conversation and tells me she isn't talking about it. This, of course, makes it where now it's the only thing I want to talk about. And while I respect everyone's

I don't want to talk about this. I think something like this should probably be fucking discussed. I press a bit and for about an hour, she's not having this convo. Basically, it gets to the point where I just blatantly ask my wife if she's seen other people. My wife, who has never been aggressive or loud, starts basically screaming at me in this Italian restaurant.

Okay. She tells me my daughter, 25 female, has been having some relationship issues with her boyfriend and has been taking some stuff to help.

I'm like, why the fuck didn't you just tell me? Right. She goes on a rant about how some things are girl to girl and how my daughter didn't want her telling anyone, which I get. But come on, I buy the things to fill the drawer. My wife ends up leaving the restaurant mid-dinner.

I've honestly never seen my wife this mad. And I'm honestly a bit worried for our marriage. And to top it off, my daughter is acting awkward around me. I get that I stepped out of line with the questioning, but the defensiveness really caught me off guard. And I never would have assumed my daughter is using our stuff. It would have been discussed. And I wouldn't have actually cared. And I would have just bought more stuff.

Anytime I try to talk to my wife, she makes it seem like I'm an insane, out-of-control monster, that I've broken the trust in our marriage, and that I've ruined 25 years of progress we've made together. Reddit, am I crazy? I am beyond confused right now. I don't think you're an a-hole. I think you just wanted a little bit of communication, which...

I think you're entitled to have. Absolutely. Like, I would want to know if my daughter was, like, sexually active and, like, you know, whether or not I should prepare for something like that. And, like, maybe it would help. Yes, I understand that it's, like, girl-to-girl things. But, like, I think it is also good to, like, have those conversations maybe with your dad as well. And, like, I just, I don't understand why she's so defensive. Yeah.

Why are you getting so mad? That makes me feel... I'm like, is the wife actually giving them to the daughter? Yeah. Like, why are you so mad about it? Like, it's not... It doesn't really seem like that big of an issue to me. No. Like, you know, marriage ending issue. Oh, you took some, like, zinc and, like, okay, she's sexually active. Like, big freaking deal, honestly. But, like, hopefully you're using condoms, too. But I don't know.

I just don't really understand why she got so mad if there's like... I feel like there's something else going on. There's something else happening here. Because otherwise, you didn't... You made it 20 times worse by reacting the way you did. Right. If you would have just been like, oh, our daughter's been taking them. Sorry, I should have mentioned it. That's it. Moot. Like, end of conversation. Oh, okay. Got it. Cool. Done. Oh, interesting. Got it. Good. No need to like continue the conversation. But why are we getting so mad? Why are we...

Not it took an hour of this dude being like, seriously, let's talk about it. An hour. Do you know how long that is asking? Like, hey, are you going to tell me? Are you going to tell me? I'm getting really worried. An hour. And that's how long it takes you. Yeah. Just get it. Spit it out, lady. You just made it so much worse. And then to like flip it on him where I think that is kind of a valid point.

curiosity or like question to ask because my head would go a fair. Like granted, I read a lot of Reddit stories, so I'm a little scarred, but it's not a question that he's wrong for asking. He's not. No, he's totally valid in asking that question. It's so strange. Especially if like, you know, they also haven't really been sexually active either. You know, like I...

I just am confused about the defensiveness. Like it's not, it's not that serious, you know? Some families just don't talk about sex though. Could be that. Yes. It could be like a super like uncomfortable situation maybe for the wife to discuss. Maybe the daughter got pregnant or something. And there's like, there's just some sort of like weird defensiveness surrounding that. But the fact that she like won't communicate that,

I think that's the main thing is there just needs to be a little bit healthier of communication here. And no, he's not the a-hole. No, not at all. Top comment on this post. I feel like my sex drawer would be a bit different than yours. You know what? I was thinking that. I was like, oh, Zank. Oh, yeah. Is that supposed to help or something? Like, I didn't realize that we used that, but noted, noted. I thought they were talking about like, you know, like,

toys and that kind of thing. I know this is a very health nut forward sex drawer. It's just like vitamins. Yeah. And like mine does not look like this either. I went on a mission because like I always talked about this one sex toy on the podcast like early on and I've gone on a mission to like

find it again because like amazon keeps selling out i've gotten to the point now i'm just like having my merch people like design it but then i went i was like i'm trying all of these creams all of these things and i'm like okay that's like that's a sex drawer but zinc has been shown to maintain optimal testosterone levels helps promote erectile function okay but isn't that for like the man though you would you would think

You know? Interesting. Very interesting. Yeah. Improves blood flow. It can enhance sexual satisfaction in both men and women. Okay. Good to know. Good to know. Per hims. Per hims. And then what else was she taking? Sorry. What other supplements were there? I've literally never heard of this before. I have never either. But I guess if you want to go the homeopathic route, this is probably your best bet.

vitamin D, Lubricil soft gels, and maca? Maca? Maca. Like macaroon or something? Macaroon? Never heard of it. No, I haven't either. But apparently HIMS actually sells it. Same brand that's packed

packing that improves semen quality and relieves symptoms of menopause. Okay, but again, like why is the daughter and the wife taking this then? I don't... I know. I would be very... It's interesting because she is only 25, so it's like it's not related to menopause. Mm-hmm.

I feel like she should actually probably like consult like maybe a sex therapist. Yeah, definitely. If they haven't been like subscribed, subscribed, subscribed YouTube brand. Subscribe guys. If they haven't been like told to take that by a naturopath, like, I don't know. It's kind of weird to be, to be doing that. Yeah. Like what works for your, you know, 50 plus mom maybe isn't going to work for you. Yeah. It is interesting.

I can't believe that this is like would be marriage ending for someone. I don't. Yeah, I think it's fine. I think that the wife needs to get over whatever issue she has and like they just need to like communicate. And it sounds like he wants to communicate with her. And like, I mean, it definitely sucks that he accused her of cheating. But like, yeah, your mind, she's not having sex with him. All of these, you know, things.

the paraphernalia is going somewhere else, I'd be a little bit worried too. And then the defensiveness as well. Like that's just like not a reason to, you always like know when you kind of hit a nerve whenever someone gets like,

weirdly defensive over something so small. So I think that there's definitely more to that story. I agree. My spidey senses are tingling. Tingle, tingle. There is an edit. Okay. Wow. A lot of incredible information in here. Thank you to everyone for your comments. This post has made me feel better and has allowed me to think about other aspects of our marriage. I've seen a ton of requests for info. So let me try to answer some of the questions here.

Me and my wife didn't go to the doctor for only libido issues. I don't know the general age of Reddit, but as you get older, things like menopause and other hormonal issues become a reality. It's just the way of life. I didn't plan on questioning my wife at the dinner. It had been in the back of my head, and after a few glasses of wine, I handled the situation poorly, which I 100% agree with all of you, not the right time or place. The

though we've had tough conversations before in public, it still doesn't justify it. There's more, but like, I feel like that's not the,

the like the most inappropriate place I don't like what how do you even bring that up you know like I just don't think that there will ever be an appropriate time or place to talk about that when you're at home in the kitchen you can open the drawer and then it feels even more like accusatory I think it's still good that he wanted to communicate with her and like you know it's date night and he probably didn't think that it would cause such a problem so I know yeah well it's probably it

in his mind too because he's like hey a couple glasses of wine we're going home after this and you know what i mean like sure that's i don't know calling it a sex drawer may have been a bad name but it's just how we reference it we didn't really think too deeply when coming up with the name and i don't actually know which one of us created it i don't have a good reason why it's in the kitchen but we're kind of past the age of caring about what someone may or may not see in our home

I wasn't monitoring the sex drawer. The Lubricil soft gels, which we keep out of the box, come only in a 30-pill supply. Half the pack or so is missing. I didn't count. It's just very obvious, even at a quick glance. As for why I didn't automatically assume my daughter...

The soft gels mentioned above and some of the other stuff in there are for a specific thing outside of the vitamins, which I don't know the ingredients too intimately, but you wouldn't really expect those things to be shared. Hmm.

What else is in the drawer that you didn't mention, sir? And finally, for those mentioning that my wife is still actually hiding something, I appreciate your comments and it has given me a ton to think about. While I won't jump to those types of conclusions, I do agree that there is probably more that needs to be discussed between me, my wife, and my daughter. That'll be a fun convo. I would, oh my God, I would love to be a fly on the wall. Popcorn. Yep.

Oh, God. I would hide. I would love to hear that. Me too. So strange. That's a weird one. That's a weird one. Hope you guys can work it out. Good luck, buddy. The next one, it's even more weird. This next one is coming from r slash relationship advice. It is three hours old. Oh. My wife, 38 female, wants me, 39 male, to help get our lesbian couple pregnant. Oh.

failed in vitro previously. My wife wants me to get our friend pregnant. Throw away because content of question.

I, 39 male, and my wife, 38, have been together for almost 25 years and married for almost 20. We have a couple we've been friends with since college, 38 female and 35 female, and they're amazing. Godmothers to my second born. They've tried in vitro fertilization. No dice. I was the sperm donor after some convincing two times, though. Fast forward to three years later, and again, they've asked.

This time, however, the suggestion is the good old fashioned way. No, no, oh no, please no. Oh God. Oh, oh, that's awkward. That reminds me of like Handmaid's Tale or something. Oh, it is giving Handmaid's Tale. Oh God, it's giving Handmaid's Tale.

Again, all good friends vacationed with these ladies would take a bullet for them. I am not shy. However, what they are asking, I'm not sure if I can do it. They, along with my wife, want me to have sex and attempt to impregnate our friend. Oh, my God. 35 female, as they have exhausted all of their savings the first two go-arounds. Oh, God.

Yes, they could adopt. However, do not want to. The couple of times as the donor, it was the 38 females eggs in the 35 female.

Apologies if the math of it all is off. As I'll be honest, I'm not being exactly sure how all of it works mechanically. My wife does not want to watch. However, 38... Thank God for that. Oh, no. Oh, no, though. Oh, there's more. Okay. However, 38 female does want to witness the moment of conception. My flabbers are gasted. No, absolutely not. No, no, this is... No. No, no, no.

I believe this to be true. I do not believe either is bisexual. I'm a bit uncomfortable initially, but was warming up to the idea as I absolutely love these women to death. I do not really want her watching as I find it would be awkward. They've both seen me naked before. Nothing weird. Just happenstance. Nor am I shy. So mechanically, it could work in theory.

Additionally, I do not last forever in bed with my wife. However, I do range to about eight to 10 minutes if I'm not taking breaks. What if I accidentally make her orgasm? Do I masturbate prior so it only takes a handful of thrusts? Oh, God. If I do go through with it and she backs off on not watching, do I just go hang out? I'm probably overthinking all of this. Obviously not a conversation I can have with just anyone. So read it.

thoughts, ideas, suggestions. My goodness. Can y'all just get like a turkey baster or something? Thank you.

Thank you. Like, please. Oh, God. Or like, I don't know. Like, see if they're into having like a menage a trois, menage a quatre. Like, why is it separate? I don't know, man. This is confusing. Interesting that he agreed to it, though. He agreed to it. He just doesn't want to be watched. Yeah. I would have a hard time with an audience. Yeah. But it also kind of is that

Like, there's a lot of questions that you kind of have to discuss with them now. Like, is there foreplay involved? Like, am I literally just going to like jerk off and then like, yeah, when I'm ready to come thrust inside of you, is that going to be comfortable?

Like, what are they asking? This is a lot. This is a lot. Can you imagine asking one of your friends this? I mean, I've never been in that position, so I don't know. I can't put myself in their shoes. Like, obviously, they want their own child, and this is one of the ways that they can do it, and maybe they feel, like, most comfortable asking this couple, um...

But yeah, it's definitely not a traditional way to get pregnant. That's for sure. So is he asking if he's the asshole or what should he do? He's mostly just asking for advice. He's asking for advice. Yeah, suggestions even. Yeah, I would definitely say he needs to have some boundaries there. Like I think that he needs to be comfortable because I mean, he's just kind of like,

just like a sperm donor, but you also have to like engage in something very intimate with somebody else. And yeah, like turkey baster, honestly, like would that work? I don't know. The sperm stays alive for like, you know, three days or something crazy like that. Like why is it that there needs to be

I don't know. I don't know the science. I know. I don't know the science at all. I think it depends on the environment of the vagina. But what did I say? Like that vagina? Yeah. But I think I've heard even sometimes up to seven days. Yeah. So I feel like if he does an at-home turkey baster, there's tools. There's actual tools. Yeah. And per a quick Google search,

Success rates for artificial insemination are the same as having intercourse. So it doesn't have to be this whole thing. No, I was kidding, but you're like fully doing your research over here. Google is easy. Yeah. It doesn't take, you know. Honestly, okay, well, I feel like maybe they should try it like that first and then maybe, you know,

Like, you know, that he can have kind of like the room and he can be private and they can take the turkey baster and go. And then she, you know, the 38-year-old can...

can impregnate, you know, and that way it's between them kind of thing. Then it's between them. That would be a much better scenario because then it's like you're actually getting to help with the conception. For sure, yeah. Like you can DIY it. Yeah. And they used the 38-year-old's eggs in the past. Right. So maybe the 35-year-old's eggs are going to be, you know, better. Better, yeah. And it doesn't take this actual like in vitro method of like harvesting eggs, fertilizing, re-implanting. Yeah. Like...

I think that having, if they're really good friends, like, I think if you're going to have like a, like, let's say a threesome or, you know, that kind of thing, it does affect the friendship. Like it does just like, I haven't specifically done it, but I have a lot of friends who have, um, and you know, it makes sense to go with someone that you trust, et cetera, et cetera. A lot of people go with people they don't know because it's,

I don't know, just easier on the relationship if it's just that's all it is. And then, you know, but like if you if you have to see these people again, who knows, like maybe he's going to like like it. Maybe she's going to like it. Like maybe that's going to like affect their marriage. So like I feel like before they go down this route, they should exhaust all other options first. Yeah, that's just I know it sounds weird, but like it's just it.

to me, I don't know if ruining a really good friendship would be worth it. But yeah. I agree. Especially because I think he even said like they're godmothers to his second born. So it's like you can try like he seems like he's really happy to donate. Like he's done it now twice. That's not the issue. So give it a couple of months of like around ovulation, like

Like you're getting maybe new stuff every day and really just squirting it up there. Just, you know, a little pipette or whatever you're using. Oh, man. This is crazy. That is a crazy one. Oh, my God. Top comment.

I think there are all sorts of awful reasons this is bad. For starters, being the bio father is likely to throw tension into the relationship because that is literally your child. And when the child gets older, you will be the father. Although I guess that might be better than the kid not knowing their father. But you have probably already gone over that. Second, and most importantly, just buy a damn insemination kit.

They literally make kits for this shit. They literally shared it on Amazon. It's like pipettes. Oh, wow. And it's so affordable. Oh, my gosh. That's a great option. It's literally $15, $13 prime one day delivery. Like this is not bad at all. Oh, my God. This one comes with a funnel. Oh, a funnel. Wow. Oh, OK. Yeah. Wow.

I feel like he's got to kind of be in the room for the funnel. Yeah. Or like, just like, you know, kind of put your thumb over one end. Oh my God. Like what is that thing? A beer, like a beer bong. Yes. Oh no. Yes. Oh my God. A beer bong for semen. Yeah. No, they have extender syringes. This is,

There's options. Yeah. They have options. They have so many options. And I think it's more than fair to try this, especially given the source saying there's no difference between artificial insemination and having intercourse. That's what's up. Don't overthink it. Yeah, dang. OP responds, did not know this was a thing. Wow. Thank you. Wow. Wow.

I didn't either. To be that easy. I didn't either. Yeah. I also do kind of disagree with, like, the person saying being the bio father. Like, I do think it could throw tension in the relationship. But being like, when the child gets older, you will be the father. Mm-hmm.

He is just a sperm donor. Yeah. And depending on how they share that info with their kid, like, I do think the kid should know. But it's still, like... Eventually. Yeah. It would be eventually kind of thing. I feel like there's a difference between father and dad and, like, sperm donor. Some people... It doesn't need to be that complicated. No, no. It definitely doesn't. And, I don't know. They could all be some, like, you know, weird little...

non-traditional happy family right and they're the godparents right so like i don't know they're kind of already like involved in that way it's just you know a little more non-traditional than that you know maybe this is just one big excuse to have like a little menage it like sort of situation like i don't know i don't i'm surprised that no one knows that this is a possibility out of this group i know i'm curious i didn't see any other comments really from op here yeah

Just very shocked. The only comment is to the pipette thing saying I didn't know it was a thing. So no comments, you know, clarifying is that 35 year old wife actually bisexual or like what? Because I don't know. I feel like if

If you were just a lesbian, like I have friends that are lesbians and like the thought of having sex with a man is just like. Not there. No. Not into it. And so I feel like that would be really tough. So. He's in a tough position. He really is. Yeah. He's doing a good deed though. He is. Taking one for the team. Yeah. Okay. Moving along.

COVID-19 and flu viruses disguise themselves to fool your immune system. That's why COVID-19 and flu vaccines are updated to protect you. Stay up to date on COVID-19 and flu vaccinations. Sponsored by Champions for Vaccine Education, Equity and Progress. This next one is coming from r slash amirong, posted 36 minutes ago. Okay. I pulled it up right before you walked in the door. Wow.

Mother-in-law's game destroyed my parents' lives. I want my fiance to go no contact. I'm getting married in May, and right now I feel like everything is falling apart.

Oh my God.

And to say it has blown up my family feels like an understatement. Whoa. Now I know my mom bears the responsibility, but from everything she is telling me, it sounds like Brad was the aggressor. My mom has a lot of self-esteem issues, and then comes this very good-looking, charismatic man, and it was just the perfect storm.

Well, I recently found out that Brad and mother-in-law had some game going on where they both got to pick someone for the other to sleep with. He picked his ex-wife's fiancée, and my mother-in-law picked my mom.

I have never felt such rage or disgust in my life. I want to drive to her house and rip all of her stupid hair out. Oh, my God. My fiance confronted her and she said it was just a game and a joke and claimed it was only fair after how my mom and her friends bullied her. At this point, I truly believe her and Brad are sociopaths because who barters sex for some sort of game?

I told my fiance he needs to go no contact with her and uninvite her from the wedding. He has been absolutely distraught and feels I'm asking too much because at the end of the day, she is still his mom. Wow. Okay. Interesting. Wow. Am I wrong? Are you wrong? I mean, no, that's like a literally insane thing to have happen to you.

Going no contact is definitely hard, but if the mother-in-law is, like, a sociopath or, like, a narcissist, that's pretty much the only way to get rid of them, so to speak, or to, like, have them, like, lose their power. And, like...

It's not good to diagnose people as like sociopaths or narcissists. Like people can be, can have tendencies, but it doesn't mean that they're overtly a narcissist. Absolutely. Yeah. It's quite the moral dilemma we're facing. This is really, really tough. Yeah. It's hard because like there's a lot of different parties at fault here. Is the mom absolutely unhinged

for creating this game and saying, Brad, you fuck the mom. Yes. Yeah, no, that's insane. I'm curious, like, if she was actually bullied by the writer's mom. For sure. Yeah, I want to know more about that, too. I feel like you can't, like, add that in and then not add more context of, like, was she actually bullied or, like, was, like...

Like what happened there? Not that it would like justify it either though too. That's kind of like twisted. Yeah. So his mom does not have like a husband or anything. She's single. It sounds like she's single. And she really like was interested in this guy, like liked him. Brad sounds like it's mother-in-law's best friend. Right. So then it was kind of like a revenge swap. Oh God, that's so twisted. Brad was like, you fuck my ex.

Like, you fuck my ex-wife's fiance. Yeah. And then I'll fuck someone for you. And it's like, what the fuck? You guys need... You need help. You need therapy. You need therapy. That is messed up. But at the same time, the mom of our writer wouldn't have any issues if she wouldn't have cheated. Yeah. So it's kind of like...

That's a very good point. Like do the two wrongs like cancel each other out where it's like you guys are both messed up? Like are you also cutting off your mom for having an affair on your dad? Like where like how can you ask him to cut off his mom if you're not willing to cut off yours as well? That's a very good point. Because she wouldn't have an issue even with Brad and Brad, you know, being flirty and hitting on her and starting this affair. Yeah.

She wouldn't have an issue if she wouldn't have gone down that road. So I'm a little torn on this one. Yeah, I'm a little torn. I don't really understand how you guys are going to be in the same room together, honestly. No. Sounds a little messy to me. Every family has baggage and every family, not like this, but like definitely every family like this is like next level. But like every family does have baggage and everyone kind of has to come together at the end of the day. It's just one day.

Um, and maybe it could be something where you just like literally avoid each other the whole time. Um, because like you said, there's a couple parties at fault here. A couple people made some bad decisions. And, um, I mean, it's, if everybody wants to go to the wedding, then...

It is what it is. Everybody just kind of has to suck it up and be adults and maybe have security so there's no fights. Absolutely. But at the end of the day, yeah, it is kind of about the couple and not about like whatever weird drama is going on between in-laws and in-laws' best friends and stuff. Absolutely. Yeah. It's tough because if he doesn't want to cut her off...

Like, this is someone you have to deal with the rest of your life. If you guys want kids and end up having kids, she's likely going to be involved in your life. Yeah, yeah, she will be. So it's one of those things you need to ask yourself, like, unfortunately, do you want to move forward with someone else who you don't have this baggage with? And, like, this conflict of, like, their mom and...

everything that now goes with you moving forward. It is so important to like, like your in-laws. Yeah. It is like insanely important for you guys to have a good relationship because if it's this bad before you guys are already married, I don't know, it's, it's not going to necessarily get better, but you can also have like minimal contact and not be low contact. You know, you don't have to like,

live together. Right. You can just be cordial. I know that's difficult, but yeah, you can be cordial about it. Maybe she might be useful when there's kids in the picture. But yeah, that's I would not I would not want to be in that mess. That's a that's a messy one. Would this be breakup worthy for you? Or have you like have you dealt with crazy in-laws in the past where like you're like, oh, it is easier to move on?

Yeah. I mean, this is this sounds like this just happened, like one big blowout fight. So like tensions are really, really high. It's always good to kind of like take a step back and have like some breathing room. Yeah. How long until the wedding? It doesn't. Oh, May. The wedding is in May. Oh, so like literally next month.

Pretty much like in like a few weeks. Yeah, that's crazy. Maybe they could postpone at least. Maybe they could postpone and figure figure some stuff out. I don't know how easy that would be because, you know, with the wedding so close, they probably can't do that. Maybe they just need to have like one big intervention where they just sit everybody down and everybody just.

yells at each other. Yeah. Honestly, not a bad idea. Like, because I'm sure our writers, mom and dad, they're having their own marriage issues now. Like that might be a good thing. Like get a mediator in there and just like, you guys are all fucked up. How do we proceed forward? Like this is our lives. This is about us. How are we going to do this? Honestly, not a bad, not a bad way to handle it. Nice little intervention with like a therapist. Yeah.

Yeah. And there maybe something has to happen soon, though, because if you want the wedding to happen, I think it would probably be good to like have some sort of communication there. Absolutely. Top comment. You should go no contact with all of your parents because it sounds like both mothers are total fucking assholes. One for playing games and one for cheating. Don't blame it on the man. She willingly slept with him. Try eloping.

And that might be a thing too. Yeah, there you go. I mean, it just, it doesn't sound like, okay, yes, your in-laws are important, but it doesn't sound like this is an issue with like the couple themselves. It's like everyone around them. And I don't think it's worth, like, I know it's like, you know, am I the a-hole and everybody likes to say, oh, just like break up. It's not that simple. You can't just like, you know, like if you love a person, yeah, strangers on the internet can tell you to break up, but like,

It's not really them that have the issue. There's been no cheating with, like, the couple. It's just, like, everyone around them is just batshit crazy and got some serious things they need to work out. So I agree with the eloping comment. Like, maybe they should, you know, go down that route. And if they, you know, like...

want to do that, then you can sort things out when you get back with your family or not at all, whatever. But the important thing is that like, it's, it's about them getting married and everybody else is just going to have to

pull up their big girl pants and deal with it. Yeah. Yeah. That is like such a good point because we don't know if they've been together for 10 years or two. Like this might be really hard to walk away from. Yeah. And if you love like if you love someone, it's like it's fucking sucks when your parents are like the issue. But yeah, if she if she can't come to terms with her fiance and like agree on what to do with

his mom or like, you know, you get comfortable with you not interacting with her, but like he has his own relationship, then it might be really tough to move forward with the relationship. For sure. When I had the post originally pulled up, there were only four comments on it. I just gave it a refresh. There's now 300. Wow. And yeah, this is just not fun. Everyone feels like it reminds them of cruel intentions and things like that. But

Yeah. The you should go no contact with all of your parents does have 581 upvotes now. I can't believe it's the parents that are doing this. You know, it's just like, wow, you guys are acting like kids. Toddlers. Yeah. Get it together. Yeah, honestly. It's another good motto of like, also don't don't shit where you eat. Period. Like, what did you think? Yeah. Brad was doing. Why would you hook up with Brad, mother-in-law's best friend?

Come on. Come on. Yeah. If you're going to cheat, don't be so dumb. It's selfish, too. You know, it's like very like you were you like not thinking like where was your brain? Where was it? A lot of people don't think like this next one. They're not using their brains. Frontal lobe is definitely not developed. As school messes return, rest easy. Clorox has got your back to school.

Oh, no. I'm back. That messy science experiment. And I brought baking soda, cornstarch. And you're due tomorrow, right? Well, at least I stocked up on Clorox disinfecting wipes. Because you're not messing up my kitchen counters like last time. Ooh, smart. Got any food coloring? And off to the store we go. Stock up on Clorox disinfecting wipes that clean three times better. Then wet paper towels and kitchen grease and soap scum. Use as directed.

This is coming from AITAH titled, Am I the Asshole for Robbing My Wife's Affair Partner Which Has Now Led to His Divorce?

I, 32, have been married to my soon-to-be ex-wife, 30, Madison, for four years. We are currently in counseling, but it is not going to work. About a year ago, I found out she was having an affair by coming home to their clothes in our living room and sounds coming from our bedroom. Oh, shit.

I lost it. I was getting my cricket bat out of the front closet when I stopped to think about consequences. I did not want to go to jail. I instead took all of their clothes and left quietly. I went to a friend's house, but not before throwing all of the clothes in a McDonald's garbage can. I turned off my phone and got shit-faced with my buddy. His wife hosed us off in the morning.

After I turned my phone back on, I had dozens of calls and texts from Madison. First, scared because she got my updated flight information, then upset that I hadn't called her to let her know I was going to be coming home early, then freaked out that the house had been broken into. Then, crazy because she figured out it was me. They got more and more deranged as the calls went on.

The guy she was with is five inches shorter than me and about 60 pounds lighter. I love how you included that. So if he had taken my clothes, it would have been obvious that they were not his. He ended up calling his friend to go get his spare key from his house. Unfortunately for him, his wife smelled a rat and followed his friend back to my house where she saw him leaving in oversized clothes. Whoa.

Long story short, she took pictures and she had evidence of his infidelity, which caused their prenup to be canceled, which cost him a lot of money. It is all one big giant shit show. It took a couple of months, but my wife convinced me to try and forgive her. We started going to counseling and we were working our way through it until recently.

In a counseling session, she said that I was wrong to steal his wallet, phone, and car keys. She said that his divorce is costing him a lot of money and that I should have dealt with it in a more mature manner and that it is my fault. I'm sorry. What? No. No, no. That's like the least he could have done, Bestie. He's a way better man than most people. Like, he fully could have grabbed that bat.

You know, like I've wow. The delusion. So delulue if you think that that what he did is all like a like a bad response to what he just witnessed and what just happened to him. My jaw was just dropped. My goodness. I'm blown away.

OP goes on to say, I have never admitted to taking his stuff. To begin with, I was afraid he might call the cops. Then I didn't want to give her ammunition in case she wanted a divorce. Now I just don't care. I told her that her cheating was the reason her boyfriend is getting divorced and that I hope his ex takes everything.

Period. I am still not living at home. I have my own apartment and I'm filing for divorce. Now that I know how she feels, it is kind of a slap in the face that she is blaming me for his divorce. So, am I the asshole for robbing my wife's affair partner? Absolutely not. No. No, you could have done so much worse. I would have took the clothes and slashed a couple of tires. Like, literally. Literally.

Why is she so worried about the guy that she... Like, why does it matter to you? Like, why...

Also, for her to know all that information, you're still in contact? Yeah. I'm sorry. You guys are still chatting and he's venting to you about how horrible his life is because you guys cheated and had an affair. So? Zero sympathy. No sympathy. I'm sorry. You're preaching to the wrong choir here. I don't care. Ma'am, go cry a river somewhere else. Yeah. Maybe to him. You guys are both getting divorced now. Now you can rekindle your little love affair. Yeah. And...

be done because you are so delusional. And the thing is, it's like you're trying to go to marriage counseling and work through this with your partner. You should be more concerned about his feelings. His feelings. It doesn't really sound like she's sorry at all. No. It just kind of sounds like she's still trying to justify what she did and try to like...

make her partner empathize with the situation. He doesn't need to. No. The fact that he's even giving her a second chance, like, I'm sorry. In that scenario, you are his bitch for a little bit there. If that ever happened to me, my partner would have to, like,

do so much to regain my trust if there was the option to do that at all. So he's giving you the option to like he's trying to build that trust and you're kind of throwing it in his face. Like who cares what this guy is going through? He did it to himself. You guys did that. The consequences of your actions. Hello. Nice to meet you. You play with fire. You could get burned. Yeah. You got burned.

That's what's up. Oh, sorry. You don't like consequences of your actions. Okay. Well then don't fuck up in the first place. Also, he's the one that knew he had a prenup with an infidelity clause. Oh yeah. There you go. Like if you are worried about dumb as hell about that and what a divorce would entail, get divorced before cheating. Like then you're not have to worry about your wife taking everything. Yeah. Come on.

Yeah, no, it kind of sounds like he made his bed and he has to lie in it, honestly. And I think that this is a scenario where, you know, you definitely need to think about whether or not you want to be with this person because you've already forgiven her and she doesn't really seem to be...

She doesn't really seem to think that that's a big deal or like she's still backtracking and doubling down on certain things and trying to get you to empathize with her situation and the guy that she cheated on you with. Zero sympathy, like none whatsoever. You should be concerned about one person. Yeah. Your partner, yourself. So maybe two people. Yeah. But like he is not your concern if you're trying to make this marriage work. Yeah.

Odd. 100%. Top comment, not the asshole. Can't believe she had the audacity to back him up after she betrayed you with him. Next comment down, if it's not the lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch. I like that. I love a good chinko. I want that on a t-shirt.

Ooh. I wonder what copyright would say about that. It's a pretty long statement, I feel like. It's an old book now, too. Yeah, I mean, the line, the witch in the wardrobe is, but, like, not the poem. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Next comment down. O.P. needs to unload in counseling about how he feels about the affair partner. The kind of people who betray their spouse are scum. Those who lie to their partner and sneak around are dirt. Those who defend it afterwards are the most bottom feeding of the lot kind of thing. O.P. hopes the cheated on wife takes everything but his undies. Then smile sweetly and say, but thankfully we're not like that. After all, your undies wouldn't fit me.

Interesting. That was a good one. Someone does comment about how the marriage counselor like should have maybe called out the wife during that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised that they didn't. I'm curious if a counselor can be that like.

Like forward with their thoughts. Yeah. I've always wanted to do couples like counseling. Couples counseling. You know, it's like, you know, oil change for your car, just regular maintenance, check in. I mean, I think that they always, as someone who's in lots of therapy, they do validate your feelings. And if some people, you know, it's one of these things where your feelings are valid always, but it's what you do with those feelings. Yeah.

that is or is invalid. You know, you can, you're definitely entitled to feel however you want to feel, but like maybe she was just, or he or she was just listening sort of thing. I'm surprised that, that the counselor didn't interject as well because like, yeah, that's like fully gaslighting, like trying to make herself the victim or not even herself, like the guy that she cheated with too. Like I still don't understand why we're even talking about this guy. Annoying. Over it. I'm bored. Over it. Ugh.

There's quite a few comments from OP, none that really give new info. He does mention that he did steal money out of the guy's wallet. Oh, okay.

Get your coin, sir. I'm sorry. I'm still not mad. Not mad. Don't hate it. Don't hate it. Chuck the phone in a river and go about your day. Yeah, no kidding. Karma. Deserved. I think so. Better than a bat. Yeah. A win is a win. A win is a win. Like, I think it could have been so much worse. Like, he's worried about, like, a couple 20s.

Like this guy was fully going to go and get a bat and beat your ass. And you're worried about a couple of 20s in your wallet. I'm so proud of him. Me too. I'm so proud of him. Love you, King. Oh, this next one. I don't know if I'm proud about. At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a house. It's your home. The place that's filled with memories. The early days of figuring it out.

to the later years of still figuring it out. For the place you've put down roots, trust Amika Home Insurance. Amika. Empathy is our best policy. It is coming from Relationship Advice, 15 hours old. I, 28 male, recently learned my wife, 27 female, has at some point performed oral sex on her mentor, 64 male.

Is this not a big deal? Wife and I have been together for four years, married for one. She has known this other guy her whole life. Oh, like how young? I had no idea they ever had sexual contact before this incident. The other day, I was on my wife's phone while she was asleep. I know that I shouldn't snoop, but I was. Anyways, I was scrolling through texts with this mentor type figure when I ran across this bombshell.

To paraphrase, it was essentially her reminiscing about sucking his dick while also complimenting his semen. No. No. Ew. Why would you ever compliment semen? Semen are disgusting. They smell like a pool. Sorry. It's gloopy glue. It's like, oh, just the membrane. No. It's like egg whites, but worse. It's worse. It's like a bugger. God.

He basically just replied within an emoji and the topic stopped. I confronted my wife. She claims it's something that happened years ago and is no big deal. Is she right? How should I proceed? Okay. How young was she when it happened? Or how long has she known this guy? Well, let's see if there's any comments that give more...

Okay. She wasn't a minor at the time. She was 18 slash 19. Okay. Which, if she's known him since she was a baby, like if it's a family friend...

That is so predatory. Yeah. That's like for sure. But even then, like 18 and 18 or 19, like you're still pretty much a teenager at that age. Like, yes, you're not like legally a minor. Yeah. And how big is the age difference? He, the mentor is 64. She's 27. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. What's that math? Do you know the math? Like 30 years more or more.

Yeah. Yeah. 34, like just under 30 years. I'm really bad at math. Don't quote me on that. Three to get to 30. Yeah. 14. Oh, no, no. I'm sorry, you guys. Brain fart. I'm going to bring up the calculator. I'm just so curious now. I'm so glad I don't know either. No, this is like, it's just like so simple. And I know there's like add three to get to 30 and 37 year age gap. Bro. Yeah.

No. So it was a while ago. So he's not, he wasn't 64 then. No, wasn't 64 then. If she was 18, that's nine years, 64 minus nine, 56. He was 56. I really want to know what he looks like. Oh God. Well, and for her to be complimenting on his dick and semen. Yeah, that's weird. For me, age gap is like,

Like, I'm sorry, but how can you do that? You know, your daughter could be that age, right? I know. I know. It's so interesting because like talking to my dad, he's 65 and single and his cutoff is like 50. He's like, maybe I'd consider 45. Yeah. But like 45 at 65 is so much different than like...

You know, like even the same age gap scaled down. Yeah, for sure. Like 18 and then 20 years, like almost 40. Like that's just kind of – you're so different in like experience. For sure. Different in experience and also just like a man who's that experienced can definitely like manipulate a woman who is like – I think that's why they kind of like them young and dumb because –

It allows them to sort of manipulate and they don't have any, you know, standards yet because it's like, oh, a man like loves me. Thank God. Just so happy to have, you know, the male attention and you see the boats and everything and whatever. It's easy to get caught up in that. But I'm just going on a rant here. I kind of forgot the question. I'm just kidding. I think. But not really. Our writer is like.

Is it weird? Yeah. Is it weird? How should I proceed? Because he confronted his wife and she claims it's something that just happened years ago. It's not, it's not a big deal, but like you're saying it happened years ago. But in my head, my thought was like, just found out. Yeah. Well, and how, how old are these messages? Like,

Yeah, this might have happened a year ago, but like, did he really get on her phone and scroll? Like when, when are these messages happening? True, true, true, true. Yeah. So I'd be more concerned about crossover than anything. Like, I don't know.

Like timeline crossover? Yeah, timeline crossover. Then like, I don't know, maybe he's a good looking guy. Maybe he, you know, like if it was just a thing, it's whatever. It's whatever floats your boat. Honestly, I would just be more worried about like a crossover than anything. Yeah, because then, you know, she cheated and your whole relationship really isn't started on that.

Good playing field. Good solid grounds. Yeah. So OP responds to someone's comment. Why were you going through her phone at all? OP says, curiosity. I know I shouldn't have. How old was the message? OP says, a couple of weeks. But seems to be referencing something from a while ago. She's still thinking about his semen. Like, oh God, your semen. It was so...

No. I literally... I am such a, like, sensation texture person. Like, if a banana... Like, if a banana is too ripe, I literally will gag while eating it. I'm... I'm a spitter. Yeah. I just... I can't. I literally, like, I've... I will do it a couple times. Like, just...

Just like, I know that they like it. You know, like, I know they like it. I know it's appreciated. Did you know that if it gets in your eye, it will actually, like, semen will try to impregnate your eye. Like, if it's in, that's why it hurts. Sorry, too much information. No, I love this. Dude, if you get semen in your eye, like, it's going to fucking hurt. Like, it will, your eyes will water and you won't be able to see for a bit. And it is because the semen are actually trying to impregnate your eye.

eyeball. God, you learn something new every day. Holy smokes. That's like one thing. We're really diving into this today on our first encounter. I get like letting someone like come on your chest or, you know, wherever, but like your face, like I would be so scared to like let someone just like openly like my eyes. I wear contacts. Oh no, definitely not in the eyes, but I've heard it's good for your skin. Maybe if I had safety.

That facial. I've actually heard it's good for your skin. I wonder. I'm like, is that a rumor people just, boys just started to let? Oh, you know what? Yeah. Don't quote me on that. Like maybe, yeah. Fact check us today, you guys. Oh yeah. That could definitely be. Yeah. Could you see it? Yeah. I could see it. Oh, it's good for your skin. It's like, why doesn't it try to impregnate your skin? You know? My pores are tight. No.

Not getting through my barrier. No. My epidermis. Oh, man. Guys are just something else. Yeah, this one. This would probably be divorce-worthy for me. Yeah. No, well, I mean, she's fully, yeah, emotionally cheating, if not, like, if that, like, smoke-there's-fire type thing. Yeah. Like, I feel like if she's talking to this dude and it's been, like, a couple of weeks since she shared that kind of a text, there's probably...

more going on there. Yeah. I think. It's inappropriate. Yeah. Even if they're not still doing stuff, that is extremely inappropriate. What was the purpose of that message? You're married? Yeah. Happily? Yeah. Question mark. For sure. That's not something like if I

If I were to text my ex-boyfriend or previous partner that I've had sex with and we're still complimenting their dick and semen, my fiance would be really hurt. Also, does this still look the same? You know, like it's been some time. It's been some time. Maybe it hasn't been some time. We don't know. We don't know, but it might not look the way it did before.

That's one thing I am nervous about with aging. I'm like, what is that going to look like? They definitely dangle a little more. I know. Things are dangling. There's ball plastic surgery. You can tighten your sack. Sackplasty. Sackplasty? Is that what it's called? I have no idea. It should be called that. Testicular somethingplasty maybe? But you can tighten it up because the gravity, it does start to go down.

And then like as your body, because ball sacks are like the most fascinating thing because like when it's, well, when it's cold, it'll like pull closer to keep the semen like alive and healthy. Yeah. And then if it's hot, it will descend. Right.

So our bodies are so freaky as fuck. Yeah. So not so nuts. There is a question that Opie responds to. OK. Someone goes, is she a champion dick sucker who goes down on you at the drop of a hat? Opie goes, kind of. Yeah. Oh, oh.

Thank you. Okay, that is very valuable context. Didn't, didn't, no, didn't. No. Might be why he's, you know, coming to Reddit asking if he should leave or not. Yeah. Crazy. But yeah, I would say that if she's...

still at the very least emotionally cheating, I would definitely be questioning that relationship. Definitely. Yeah. Or trying to shoot her shot. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Because the top comment says, if she's reminiscing, it sounds like she misses him. Yeah. His response implies he doesn't miss her. You need to ask her why she felt the need to contact him about this and tell her to block him. She's like fishing, you know, like she's almost like she's like fishing to see if it's still like

That's what it's giving, you know, 100 percent. Yeah. And maybe they're talking and he just didn't want to provide like a text trail. And so it's just like an emoji and like whatever. Yeah. But they need to block each other. Is this man married or not? There's no there's no mention. No mention. No mention of his relationship status whatsoever.

I'm really curious now. That is curiouser. Curious and curiouser. Really wild. Okay, moving along. Skin feeling rougher than sandpaper? Don't let it ruin your day. Try NuDial Exfoliating Body Wash with a touch of creamy cocoa butter, orange extract, and vitamin E. Reveal soft and glowing skin after just one shower. Dermatologist tested in pH balance for a deep yet gentle clean. Dial up your day.

This next one, title really just got me messed up. Haven't gotten too into it myself. I was like, after a juicy title, I'm like, I'm going to flip a coin. I'm just going to let, you know, Jesus take the wheel. Jesus in both hands. Just 10 and 2. Please be good. Don't make me regret it. So this is originally coming from Am I the Asshole? Three days old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for not telling my brother about my mom's death because he didn't answer the phone?

Oh, okay. Okay. I, 32 female, have a brother, Max, 34 male, and three other siblings. His partner, Ann, is obsessed with boundaries, but she never sets them until they've apparently already been broken. A big gripe was that mom called Max too much, aka two to three times per week.

Max never mentioned an issue to Mum, but he let Anne attack her character hugely during one of her calling-out sessions. A few weeks later, before they went on a trip, he messaged the group chat. It was clearly written by Anne, saying they didn't want to hear from us that entire week and that they would block us if we disturbed them on their vacation. It was a long and nasty message, clearly directed at Mum.

She was upset, but asked us to keep the peace because Ann was intimidated the last time we pushed back at her. Two days after they left, mom died unexpectedly. Dad called me at 8.30, and 45 minutes later, I tried to call Max for the first time. I then sent a text saying, quote, answer your phone. It's urgent. Then called again. I sent two more messages and called four more times that day.

The next time I tried was the day before the funeral. I sent him a text saying he must know it's serious and I need him to call me. On the day, I called six hours before so he'd have time to come back. Then again an hour before. In total, I called 16 times. My sister tried seven times and my dad tried three.

When they got back, he, aka she, sent me an essay to the group chat about how we're bullies taunting them and trying to ruin their relationship and that we will never see either of them again. What the fuck? Wow, you're so delusional. That's insane. Wow.

My youngest brother, 20 male, responded, quote, mom died on Sunday. Consider your wish granted, you evil cunts. Period. And booted him from the chat. Yes.

Well done. Max then rang me 22 times in a row. I sat and watched them all ring out. We siblings headed straight to the house because we knew he'd turn up there. My youngest brother, 20 male, who still lives at home, was by far the angriest about the situation. So we didn't want to tempt fate.

They showed up, furious, nowhere near as furious as we were, though. The long story short is that none of us, except one sister, the reason I'm posting, have seen or spoken to him since this all went down. Dad has made it clear he lost both his wife and son that day. Wow.

Fair. My position is that it was obvious the situation was urgent, that I slash we made more than enough effort, and that the outcome is all on him. This all happened in December, but dad recently cleared out Max's stuff from the spare room and gave it to his best friend to pass on. Now Max is reaching out, wanting apologies for him and Anne, but ultimately to get back into the family.

One sister is in contact with him and is applying pressure to the rest of us. She started to become judgmental about not telling him, but we have reminded her that she owns a phone and could have done so at any time. I'm still very angry with him, and I'm leaning towards no longer inviting her to our weekly dinners, a big deal for us, especially now.

Am I the asshole for not telling him mom died, cutting him off, and considering doing the same to my sister? I mean, okay, so I don't think that you're the a-hole with regards to the brother. I think that the fact that he is demanding an apology when he was so unbelievably disrespectful over something so stupid...

I like fully, you know, if anybody should be apologizing, it should be him. The sister kind of sounds like she's a bit of a people pleaser. She kind of like, you know, feels bad. She wants, you know, the family to come together over it. You know, maybe she's been talking to people who are like, but we're family, you know, all that shit. We're family. And then it's like, okay, so then why did we not act like family before? Why am I the only person that has to like,

Yeah. It's always people that like want you to like step up and be a family member. But then what about all the people that, you know, in your family who didn't treat you like family? Yeah, the double standard of it. This is just like a really awful situation. Yeah.

I can't even imagine losing your mother and then be fighting with your whole family over it. Like this is supposed to be a time when you guys really are supposed to be coming together. But I mean, the situation is what it is. I would say definitely the brother made his bed. If anything, he has to apologize. Thank you. Yeah. You know, he needs to apologize. And then, you know, I just don't really think it's worth like

cutting another family member off just because maybe they, you know, just kind of want all the drama to end sort of thing. I don't think it's worth like cutting off another family member in a time when I feel like you guys need to support each other.

But yeah, that's how I feel about it, I think. Yeah, I think you're spot on in your advice. Someone, the top comment actually does say, I'm so sorry about your mother. What a terrible time for you and your family. You are not the asshole for ignoring your brother now. He doesn't deserve any apologies. You do. I would not disinvite your sister, but make it clear that you don't want to talk about your brother or she will be disinvited. I think that's the best for you and your family. Mm.

OP does respond. Thank you so much for your kind words. The sister who is applying the pressure is going to be tough to manage. She's the eldest and it seems she's taking it upon herself to reunite the family. I don't think she will give up, but I might send her a message letting her know what's going to happen if she carries on. I don't see it going well.

Yeah. I mean, well, deal with it when it happens, though. Yeah. One step at a time. I think, yeah, first of all, if you're watching this, very sorry for what has just happened. That's terrible. But yeah, like tensions are going to be high for a while and you guys all had something very traumatic happen to you. And I think it would probably be best to not

you know, continue the cycle of negativity and cutting everybody out of your life and, you know, try to find, you know, have your boundaries for sure. Like don't let people push you around, but it might be best for, you know, the conflict to end there. Yeah. I think it's just like, don't do any more damage. You don't have to like only, this is a grotesque saying, but it's like something along the lines of like,

only cut the like the cancer that you need to. Yeah. Like the tumor or whatever it is. Like don't go too aggressive. But I'm just I'm blown away by the fact that he is demanding an apology. And it's like, have you lost sight of yourself so much that like you're letting your wife control your relationship with your family? Like getting called from a parent two to three times a week is nothing. I talk to my mom like every other day.

I don't. That's great. Like that's healthy. That's, you know, I could understand if it was like two to three times a day. Yeah. That's a lot. I was surprised. I was like two to three times. Isn't that normal? Like don't we? Yeah. Yeah. Like if you have a health, if you don't, then it might not be. But if you have a healthy relationship with your parents, you should be talking to them a couple times a week if you can, if you have the time. Yeah. So it's just preposterous and it's like

You clearly had your phone on you. Did you block your whole family before or during, you know, at the beginning of that trip? So you didn't see any of those calls come through? Yeah. Like, that is solely on you. Yeah. And if you did see the calls coming through, that means you just ignored 30 plus calls from your family. Clearly, if someone's calling you 30 times, something is very wrong. Clearly, yeah. So...

You have no one to blame but yourself. The only thing I would like give grace to is like the wife is kind of giving extremely controlling. I'm like starting to question. I'm like, is this really what he wants or is he maybe slipping into a toxic? Yeah. Maybe she's kind of like, you know, brainwashing it. Maybe she's a bit abusive or something like that. Isolating him from her.

from his family, that sort of thing. Like there could be something going on there that you don't, you don't really know about because yeah, that's, that's what, you know, abusers do is they try to like isolate you from everybody else and they really twist your perception of things. She's being very successful. Yeah. If that's what

what's happening here. For sure. To the point where like, you know, somebody died and, you know, the delusional, like, oh, they're so obsessed with like, what was going through your head? Like there's 30 calls. Oh my God, they're so obsessed with us. Like, they just like, see, see, see. Like, can't you just, no, babe, somebody died. Like literally somebody died. This is not about you and your relationship. Like there's an emergency here. You know that that's exactly what she sounded like. Yeah. Like, oh.

We knew this would happen. Oh my God. They're so obsessed with us. We can't even have one vacation. Can't we just like live? Your family is so controlling. I want to cut her hair. Maybe put gum in it. A gum, like that is just a day ruiner. Yeah. So, so unfortunate. I'm just like, I feel bad. I feel really bad for OP. Me too. Lots and lots of comments.

I'll be sure to post the link for this one if you guys want to go and look through them all or offer support for our OP here. But

It people were I think like criticizing or maybe asking how long it was from the time your mom passed to when the funeral was And op says she died on a sunday and was buried on a tuesday We're not really religious, but it's a cultural tradition to bury within 24 hours We live in a fairly small town in the uk and sundays are a nightmare for anything. So it didn't quite work out that way but I think like again

He had two days to answer a phone call to multiple days. Like I know for like my family, like the, the Jewish tradition, you have to have the funeral within three days. So I think that's like totally fair. Like respect the culture. And like, again, this is just on him. Someone is criticizing her though, saying you should have just texted him what it was about.

And OP is like, what? So like I should have said. No, that is not something that you say in a text. I don't get why people don't understand that. No, that's not something that you like. Oh, just drop it in the group chat. Mom's dead. Sorry. Like, no, no, that's a phone call or you say it in person. But obviously they were away. So they couldn't really couldn't really do that. Yeah. Yeah. That.

Just no, that's not how you tell someone. No. And people are like commenting. They're like, maybe you didn't make it seem urgent enough. I think 30 phone calls is pretty evident that there's an emergency. OP responds, what part of messages saying things like, quote, it's urgent. You need to answer the phone. Yeah. Quote, call us as soon as you get this message. Quote, Max, this is serious. You need to get in touch. Leaves him not knowing there's an emergency. Yeah.

Unless he was born yesterday, you can clearly see those messages and know something is going on. Dire situation. Answer the phone. What an asshole. Yeah. Wow. What a weird response. So weird. So weird. I just like, I can't imagine like, and even like trying to give him the benefit of the doubt where, or like devil's advocate, where it's like,

okay, you now feel really, really guilty. Like if he's of sound mind, like he feels guilty. He didn't get to, you know, say goodbye to his mom. And he sent this nasty message. Like he should feel guilty. And guess what? He should have been okay with having her call two to three times a week. And now he doesn't get those calls anymore. Yeah. So it's like, even if that, like those are his feelings and he's projecting in a weird way,

No. Clock it. No. Clock it. Go to therapy. Start working on yourself. Identify if this is a healthy relationship for you. Like based on the context we have, like this seems like a very healthy, great family dynamic, like family dinners regularly, like two to three times a week. Yeah. Honestly. Fucking asshole. Yeah. That poor mom. That poor woman. The.

Okay. Moving along. Okay. One last one for us. Time flies when you're having fun. Oh, my goodness. This is coming from Best of Redditor Updates, three days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Falling Out of Love with My Wife After She Took a Seven-Week Vacation? Oh.

I, 32 male, have been married to my wife, 30 female, for four years, and we've been together for eight. She's a stay-at-home mom. We have Irish twins, one female, two male, which have been incredibly taxing for my wife. She wanted a solo vacation break for a few weeks where she would travel to different states, visit her high school and college friends, go to concerts, and do a lot of fun stuff. She asked if I would be okay with it.

I asked if she could make it a couple of weeks shorter because seven weeks of managing our two children alone sounded really daunting, especially since work was also getting taxing recently. I do work remote, so at least that worked in my favor. My wife and I discussed for a couple of days, and I ultimately agreed with her that she did deserve a break because of what she has been through the past few years. And so she took her vacation. The

The first week managing our children alone was extremely difficult, and I did feel like I was losing my mind. But I survived. My sister came over to help me from the second week on. She was honestly a lifesaver, and I will be eternally grateful for her. I never directly asked her to help me, but I guess I did indirectly because when she video called me at the end of the first week, I basically broke down in tears.

So from the second week on, my sister stayed over at my house to help with my children, and a huge burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. I was also really able to focus on work and meet my deadlines. To be brutally honest, I did not miss my wife at all. I was emotionally and mentally relaxed and also had a lot of fun with my children and my sister. I felt a sense of betrayal that my wife had actually gone through with the seven-week vacation.

I slowly fell out of love with my wife. When she came back from her vacation, she was super refreshed and recharged. But to be honest, I was a bit indifferent. My wife tried to initiate sex the first night she came back, which I rejected because I said I wasn't feeling it.

Ooh.

She seemed devastated when I brought up divorce, which surprised me because I had already told her I don't love her anymore. She asked if we could do couples therapy or marriage counseling first before I started looking for a divorce lawyer, and I told her I needed some time to think about it. I've spent a few days thinking about it, and I'm still leaning towards divorce because I basically don't love my wife anymore. I don't think marriage counseling can fix it.

So am I the asshole for falling out of love with my wife because she took a seven week vacation? I don't think so. I mean, you feel however you feel, right? Like, I think that it wasn't just about the vacation. It was also about like her needing that much time away from him and away from their kids and away from their life. Like,

Damn, like seven weeks is a lot. That is like, that is crazy, dude. Like, what is that? Just under two months? It's basically two months. That is like, that is an insanely, like, I don't know how you can, I'm, I've been on vacation, vacation, like work trip for like six days now. I can't wait to get home to my boyfriend. Like, I cannot wait. Like, I, I don't know how you could, um,

need a break from life so badly and like also your support system too right yeah well it's interesting and the youngest is one mm-hmm

I wonder if she's dealing with like maybe some postpartum, like persistent postpartum disorder. Could be. Because to need seven weeks away, that's quite some time. But that's also developmental. Like, isn't that like a really important time to be like around your kid? Like, yeah, okay. Fair enough. You're having postpartum depression. It's just like, it seems like a very long time to be away from your child while they're

like developing and like you need to have that, you know, skin to skin contact and stuff. And like, yeah, you know, I don't know what like so she just she gave birth. And then what exactly was going on that she needed to take a break from so badly, like a seven week long break? Yeah. So Irish twins have been incredibly taxing for my wife is what OP says. What's an Irish twin? It's like they're born a certain

distance apart. So it's like basically you had sex as soon as you could after that first one was born. And then you got pregnant again. Yeah. Okay. I did not. I thought that I was picturing like redhead babies. Like, I don't know. Like, oh yeah, we redheads, we're a pain in the ass, you know? Um,

Like redhead Irish babies. Oh my gosh. I didn't know what you meant when you said that. Okay. Yeah. So for those listening. She's basically consecutively pregnant for like almost two years. The term Irish twins refers to one mother having two children who were born 12 months or less apart. Got it.

So, yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, it could be that she was dealing with a lot of postpartum. Like, I mean, maybe she just didn't even have time to have postpartum after the first one and then it would just all hit her. Literally, if they're a year apart, you had sex three months after your first was born. Yeah. The height of newborn crying, waking up, sleep disturbance, like...

yeah and then you're pregnant for the next nine months with an infant yeah and now you have two infants yeah you're changing two babies diapers i'd go fucking crazy too yeah she's she's valid honest like maybe not seven week vacation valid but like valid yeah definitely valid for needing a break well and i'm really dissecting it too do you find it kind of concerning that he couldn't really handle one week

I mean, I find it kind of ironic that there's lots of single mothers out there that are doing it alone. And yeah, it's hard. It's really fucking hard. Surprise. Yeah. So I'm like, OK, after only one week, you're crying and then your sister comes for the next six weeks crying.

So much so that it like, it honestly doesn't really mention him helping with childcare after his sister got there. Oh, wow. Interesting. You know what I'm saying? So he's a little, he's butthurt about, yeah. I just like, I'm like, how involved are you as a dad? Like maybe it's justified your wife needed this extended vacation. Do I personally think seven weeks is too long? Yes. Yeah. Two, maybe three weeks tops in my head feels justifiable. For sure. Seven, no.

That's a lot. But I'm like, I'm getting like, I'm just getting a vibe from him that maybe he's not the most... Spiteful or like weaponized incompetence type thing. That, and he's maybe not being like a good information provider. Like he's not necessarily the most reliable source. But...

It's interesting that he felt that way after like one week, like, yes, maybe one week when you're not used to it. But like, yeah, after I would feel like five weeks or something, you know, halfway through or something, you're really, really struggling because you're trying to balance everything. And like, it's fair to ask for help after that. But like, I don't know. That's that's crazy to me that he couldn't even stand one week. You know, it's so odd.

Top comment on the original post. My mom went on an eight-week vacation when we were kids. Decades later, we found out it was inpatient rehab. Oh. Not even our dad knew where she actually went. Oh, so like she could have been at some sort of facility. Wow. Yeah. That's, I feel like if that's true, it says a lot about their relationship. Mm-hmm.

And it's like, okay, well, if she needed that, then she needed that. But it's kind of like in my head, I'm like, you should be able to talk to your partner. He should know that. Yeah. Yeah. So. I find it interesting that there's no details on like where she went though too, you know? Well, and he doesn't even mention talking to her during that time. Yeah. Like he mentioned her like plan initially, like she's going to visit friends from high school and college in various states and like bop around. Yeah.

But he doesn't mention talking to her at all during that stint of time. Which means she might not have had her phone. Dude. Yeah. Okay. Wow, this took a turn. I was like initially totally on his side. But then I just like I feel like there's something more going on there. Doesn't it feel fishy? Okay. Maybe I'm being paranoid because that happens a lot. Yeah. And then we get the update and it's like, okay, Morgan, you went nuts. But okay. Okay. Let's get to this update. Oh, there's an update. There's an update. More context. Oh.

I posted my original post late last night and went to sleep immediately after. I have deleted it for anonymity's sake, but it was preserved here. I woke up this morning, spent an hour reading the comments, and decided that I at least owe it to our children to try couples therapy before considering divorce. Do you not also owe it to your wife a little too? Yeah. I don't know how you could...

And maybe this is like maybe he's neurodivergent or something because like I know with me and ADHD, like I don't miss people the same way that other people do. I get it. I like being alone. Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, for sure. Like I'm not the best communicator with family or friends long distance. But to fall out of love. Yeah. You loved this woman so much you married her and had kids with her. Yeah.

I'm concerned. I told my wife of my decision and she was really happy about it. But I also told her I don't expect too much to come out of it because I just didn't love my wife anymore and wasn't sure if couples counseling would fix that. I want to clarify a couple of things. Money was not an issue. I'm lucky to be working in a high-paying, albeit stressful, job. It really doesn't bother me how much money my wife spent on her trip.

The main issue was I was emotionally and mentally overwhelmed managing two children while I was also working full time. My wife was also specifically against daycare for personal reasons. By the end of the first week, I had lost my sanity and basically broken down in tears when my sister video called me. My sister had enough time to come over and help me from the second week on, and she really wanted to because it gave her purpose in life.

Okay. She has no plans to be in the workforce and she's pretty much set in life because of my father's money. I did ask my father to not leave any money behind for me and give everything to my sister because I was already in the workforce and had a good job. That's it? That is not... That's not what I wanted. What I wanted. No, that's... You really left me hanging there. Like, I feel like everybody's feelings are valid. I think that she really deserved a break. I think that he is...

I like, why fall out in love out of, why would he fall out of love with someone after, you know, seven weeks of like, what, what, what did she do? Did she try to keep in touch? Like you just didn't like that she went on a vacation. You didn't like that, you know, she left you there on like, why did you fall out of love? I don't get it. Um, yeah. Like what is seven, seven weeks. And

I don't know. Someone does ask, did you or the kids have any contact with your wife during the seven-week vacation? OP responds, she called me two times during the entirety of her vacation. Account's been suspended. I can't look up any comments. The moderators even went so far as to remove OP's comments now. But he never addressed people speculating about a rehab unit. Yeah, for sure.

How? Yeah. Give the people what they want to know, sir. I mean, it sounds like he's whining that he has to take care of his children, but it's also something that he doesn't really understand how hard it is for women who have just given, like, I cannot, 18 months pregnant consecutive. That is like, that is nuts. I don't know. I don't know how she did it. I think that maybe he also needs to give his wife a little bit of grace as well here. Like, yes, it was hard for him, but like,

It was also very hard for her and he's never going to understand what it feels like. Yeah. Well, and it's, I think it's interesting too, where he's like, it was so hard for me during the one week while working full time. True. Like I get that. But your wife does this 24 seven. Yeah, for sure. She never gets a break. Yeah. How do you think she feels? For sure. Two kids under two. Come on. Yeah. Something's up here. Yeah. Something's up. I...

Does she work? There's no mention of her working. Okay. But I would assume, given the vibe, stay-at-home mom. Yeah. Okay. So, like, doing a lot, like...

I am so confused. Yeah. Someone comments on the best of Redditor updates and goes seven weeks and only two calls. It sounds like she went away and was considering a divorce herself. Yeah. But changed her mind. Good point. Good. Yeah. Hot take. Potential. Yeah. And then someone on the updates goes in the original post a lot were speculating on rehab. Mm hmm.

And in the update on that post, too, a lot of people are speculating like in seven weeks she called twice. Wow. I would be calling each day to say goodnight to my kids. Totally. That is bad. Yeah. So I'm like, if she genuinely was on vacation, there's pictures with her friends that prove it. She has receipts from every different state.

Then I'm like, OK, this is really weird. And maybe you both just kind of have issues like you're like neither one is really wrong. But if she really was in a facility, then I'm like, OK, he's more so the asshole. For sure. Definitely. I'm curious because he also said in that update money wasn't an issue. So like he knows how much her trip was. Yeah, definitely. And rehab is not cheap.

Yeah. I don't know if there's like also if it was just a regular vacation and you're only checking in with your husband twice, that's also like not good. I feel like I need to know where she was in order for me to accurately say whether like who's the a-hole here.

Yeah. Because in his head, if she's only calling twice, he might start to feel abandoned. Like she really doesn't care about me. Which is valid. Yeah. And that's so valid. Yeah. So, I mean, if that's how it went down, I'm really torn now. Yeah, I know. I'm really torn. Yeah. Same here. I cannot wait to hear your guys' thoughts. Oh, yes. On these, especially this last one. Charlotte, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me.

to me that was a good chat that's so good so fun where can everyone find you your channel all your amazing projects you've got going on oh I a few things in the works but yeah you can follow me at Charlotte Dobre on YouTube and Facebook as well and yeah oh yeah we're on Facebook are you on the talk the tick tock I'm on the talk yeah but I just kind of post whatever I like am I the a-holes that I put on YouTube on on TikTok so I like it yeah I

Amazing. I'll be sure to have all of Charlotte's links in the description. Go over to her YouTube. Give it a subscribe. Your videos are edited.

such oh thank you like the detail the effects like it's amazing so it keeps it flowing I will tell my editors you said that I'm sure they'll appreciate it it's so good it's so good thank you so much and thank you so much for having me this was so much fun so good yay thank you guys for being here another episode head over to patreon if you want more but other than that until next time bye