159: They Said WHAT?!
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Me and the kids were always messaging. They LOL'd, I ROFL'd. But then I changed phone and the bubbles went green. But where there's a fill, there's a way. And I found a way to share what's in here. I'm tapping my heart. WhatsApp, the place to safely send messages between different devices. Message privately with everyone. Are you guys ready? I hate these headphones. Why? I just don't like them.

Oh, okay. Oh, that's so sad. I know because it's like when it's right there and then it doesn't happen, it's like painful, like physically, mentally, emotionally, like you just want that sneeze. It's just so satisfying, you know? And, and when it's right there, right there, right there. Fuck. I'll hope for one later tonight. Maybe in like a few minutes. Yeah. It'll probably come back to you.

It's funny, though, because I actually usually sneeze when I brush my teeth. So. Interesting. Yeah, it's the mint. Usually I just get nauseous and gaggy. Really? Every time I brush my back teeth lately. Interesting. I know. That's only me when I brush the back of my tongue. I have a tongue scraper, so that helps. I feel like I almost make myself do that on purpose because I try to get so far back there that I'm like, I'm not far back enough until I am gagging. Yeah.

Okay, that is like a perfect segue for what today's theme is, which is what did they just say? It was actually. Wow. Wait, well, have you guys never done that?

Brush so far in the back that you start to gag? Yeah, but I don't make it a challenge to do it. Well, it's not like I do it on purpose, but I just think that... It helps you feel accomplished? No, it's just once that happens, I'm like, okay, I got far enough back. Like, I'm like, that's a signal that I brushed my whole tongue. Okay. Yeah. I remember one time this guy in college, one of Mike's roommates was making a lot of weird noises and then he just puked in the sink. Oh.

Oh, no. From brushing his teeth. Oh, my God. How many times was he doing it? He just kept putting it back there? Some people are sensitive. Yeah. It just happened. If he was making weird noises, that makes me think that he kept doing it until he threw up. I feel like it was just a long time in between the too far back and the actual...

you know, release. This is a really great start of the episode for all of our friends. I hope no one's enjoying breakfast. We just got done with our tour stint in Texas. We went to Houston, Dallas, aka Addison, and Austin, and we absolutely loved meeting so many of you. We had some really good shows, fun shows, crazy stories. Today is no exception.

We are in for a wild ride. I know. I just want the feedback. From the people? I like when it's like a group deal. I know. The shows have been so cool getting to hear like live reactions of like, not the asshole. Boo. Like it's been...

So, so fun. We do have a second show added in Chicago and Nashville, both of which I'm trying to get some really good guests for. So if you are still looking for a ticket, those two would be great to come join us at. But we don't have the people today. It's just us. It's real quiet. It's just me, Mogan. Who are you guys over there? I'm Lauren. I don't know anymore. Who are you?

J. Wow. JT. Okay. JT. That's how you're going now? I think I'm going to change, yeah. Identity change? Wow. Okay. JT. Yeah. We've never called... Do you call him that ever? I've never called you that. Actually, I love Justin. Just Justin. Yeah. But that would be a good signature for you since...

People have asked for our signatures at the show, which is so wild to me. I never thought that I'd have people asking for my signature. So that's just such a wild concept to me. It is really weird. Some crazy shit, man. Yeah. Okay. Really flattering. Are we ready for this theme? What the heck did they just say? What did they just say? What? Let's dive in. Let's do it. We're going to start off light. Start off light. Just, you know, some casual toxicity. Yeah.

Am I the asshole for not tipping a waitress and giving her the reason as to why? I, male 48, was at a restaurant yesterday with a few of my friends. We usually go out and it all goes well. We always pay separately and it is important to know that I always tip in usual cases, this not being one of them. So the beginning goes fairly well. The hostess takes us to our seats and the waitress comes out shortly after.

We usually always joke around with waitresses. So when she asked me if I would like something with my drink, I say, quote, I suppose you aren't on the menu. So I will just have the crab cake, unfortunately.

She did not laugh at my joke. I found this to show her lack of both service, but also interest and attention to the guests she wants to serve. You are a tool. Other waitresses usually laugh or joke back, but I decided to let it slide. The second thing that led up to the no tip was that it took a long time for her to bring out the food, which to me yet again shows her lack of service and attention.

The third was that we had already had time to finish our appetizer before she came to check on us. Had something been wrong with the food, she would not have known. The fourth thing was that she served my friend a medium steak, though he asked for medium rare. The fifth was that she forgot my drink order and I had to remind her. She did not notice by herself."

The sixth was that almost every time me or one of my friends tried to joke with her, she did not laugh. She did not smile. She just looked like we disgusted her.

The experience was not at all nice, and I fully believe it was due to the service we had. All of my friends and me agreed that no one would tip her due to how we felt both forgotten about, mistreated, and the overall service. When we were paying, I told her that I assumed she would realize, but I would like to explain to her why we decided not to tip her.

I told her almost everything I have explained in the post and also explained that we all usually leave good tips so she knows that she missed out. She just stares at me and told me, quote, Okay, have a nice rest of your evening, sweetheart. This ticked me off, but we all decided to leave.

When I told my wife and her daughter about this today, they both asked me what was wrong with me. Not only that I did not tip her and explain, but also for how me and my friends treated her. I asked what was wrong with our treatment, as no other waitresses have found something wrong with it. They told me that I should really think about it all again, and that if I can't find anything wrong with it, to think harder."

I'm at a loss for words as the only people to even think I did something wrong are my wife and her daughter. All my friends fully believe that we were in the right here. Was it really that wrong of me to not tip and explain why? If I do something inappropriate or wrong that it affects my work or customer satisfaction, I would like to know. That is something I think should go for waitresses too.

Am I the asshole? Yes. Without question. Did he say he has a wife? And then his comment was, since you're not on the menu? Yep. Gross. Do you think he told her that part? I wonder. There's no way. He said he told her everything. There's no way he wouldn't have said that.

No chance. But even leaving that detail out, which probably was the reason this all played out the way it did from the jump...

Even if you leave that out, she still picked up on the fact that obviously you guys are a bunch of just assholes. Literally, it's good definition. But I can't stand people like this. What's the entitlement? What's like people who think so methodically through every step and can write out a post like this about weird. And then she forgot my drink.

And then I had to remind her. And then she brought my friend a medium, not medium rare. Yeah. Also. That's on the chef too. I mean, like, unless he thinks she ticketed it wrong, but like a lot of that stuff as a server is also can be out of our control. Yeah. It's like,

The chef is cooking it and then it depends on when they bring it out to us. There's obviously things that could happen, like a server forgets to put the ticket in. Yeah. But some of that stuff is just...

That's the kitchen. Yeah. And like the steak, that's the kitchen for sure. Because it's like, she doesn't, I was a server for how long? And I would never be able to tell you what a medium looks like versus, well, well done versus rare. I could tell you, but you know what I mean? It's not like you're going to cut it open and look.

Like that's on the cook. Yeah, no, yeah, exactly. I mean, technically you don't have to tip somebody. It's optional, right? Like you don't have to do that in the serving industry. It is very, it's looked very, like I would be really offended when somebody would give me like a 15% tip and it'd be a $2 difference from a $20 tip or sorry, a 20% tip because it's very expected. It's the norm in serving. Um,

But you don't have to. I just think it's just so ridiculous that he felt the need to. I don't know. It's so weird. I'm just trying to think if somebody did this to me when I was serving and if they were just going down the line and telling me why they didn't tip. I mean, I thought it pissed me off enough when I had somebody write on their receipt and said, you should smile more. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Gross. So I don't think I could be a server.

I really don't think I could do it. It is a really, it was a tough job. It definitely wasn't easy. There's a lot going on. I still have server nightmares, like where I'm like running around the restaurant, like getting all these tables and like, I'm just stressed. I think it's for me, it's more just dealing with shitty ass people.

In an environment where you can't just like walk away. No, and that's this. Like he's like, oh, well, she didn't laugh. She didn't smile. No, people aren't going to laugh when you're making inappropriate. Come on to them type jokes. Yeah, that's gross. That's uncomfortable. No one wants to go to work and be subjected to sexual comments or hit on constantly just because you're a server just because you're a bartender just because you're blank blank blank doesn't mean you have to hear quirky funny jokes.

Not funny inappropriate jokes and smile through it. Mm-hmm I'm here to get you your food your drinks not be subjected to this bullshit behavior Yeah, you know how this guy would respond to that. Well, you shouldn't be a server then 100% That's what you if you can't keep your fucking mouth shut or say appropriate things to people that are trying to serve you food You shouldn't go out to eat in public Stay home

And it never means much when an entire friend group around an asshole also thinks the same way with them because there's a reason you're friends with them. Yeah, literally. It's so stupid. This is one of the tables that I would like beg my coworker to like switch with me. Like a male coworker. I'd be like, can you please take them? Yeah. Just give me anyone. Like give me anyone else about this table.

There was certain times when we were serving where there would be people that would come in and there was everyone just had the idea that they were going to be really difficult customers and that they wouldn't tip well. So everyone would be like, please, please, please, please take them. And it's a weird because I always at first I thought when I was new to it, I'm like, how would you just that's so weird. How can you just tell that?

And then it was always correct. So it was just something like over and over again, they like start to understand a certain vibe, which sounds like this group of people where they're like, I don't want to take them. Oh, I had this one little old man and he's now since passed, but his name was Clarence and he was so sweet. It was when I was a server at Perkins and he would come in every day and just tip a dollar, just a dollar every day. But he was, he was so, so sweet.

oh it's not always about the tip but like when you're working your ass off and like you get your checks zeroed out yeah yeah like this is how we survive yeah you make money off of the tips like you really don't make much like at least when i was serving and tipping culture has gone a little crazy like i get the ipad flip oh yeah those usually shouldn't be a tip scenario but it's just weird that it's expected to literally tip like

everywhere now dude i wasn't it carrie said she bought a candle at a candle shop and they like gave the option a tip yeah there was something um i literally just bought and it was like a tap but i had to select like if i wanted to leave a tip before i tapped and i feel like it was at like a home goods store type vibe i don't remember what it was now but i remember thinking like

The fuck are they asking me to tip for? Yeah. It was crazy. In those situations now, I remember I used to panic because it would only be fit. I mean, at those types of places, like 10, 15, 20. Now it's literally 18, 20, 25. I instantly now, obviously in the right settings,

I'm not I'm just so not afraid I instantly hit no Bam I have such a hard time with it I do too Not at places where it doesn't make sense I know But I do I just feel so guilty I'm uncomfortable Because they're staring at you Yeah and to hit no tip I don't know it just makes me feel so bad And which is That's what pisses me off I'm like I shouldn't have to feel bad More often than not They'll never know

So I've heard. Really? I thought it came- Sometimes they flip that iPad back and it says total and they know. You think? It doesn't show up right on the screen for them? I thought it did. I've seen either stories, posts or TikToks about this. And I remember the comments that a lot of people are agreeing that they don't always see it. Yeah. Yeah.

It just like orders over. I could see it depending on the operating system too. It just pops up on a, they start to pop it up on a big screen or the whole thing turns red. Tipper. Didn't tip. It either rings a bell or it doesn't. It's literally getting there. Like it's about, it feels like you're getting hazed a little bit. Yeah. It's crazy. One of the top comments.

Holy shit. You're the asshole. Your jokes are absolutely appalling. No one wants to be treated like that, especially when they're at work and can't immediately tell you to get the fuck. Oh, to go fuck yourself. There you go.

She looked like you disgusted her because you did disgust her. Also, there's a lot of other shit you did wrong and blamed her for that. And it was not in her control. But I'm not even going to wade into all of that because the most egregious thing you did is already enough for judgment. Egregious. I like that word. Let's start using that more often. Egregious. It was. It was from the jump. I mean, the first sentence, like, all right, I know where we're headed. You're not on the menu. Gross. Gross.

Especially coming from an old dude who's married and just has a family at home and you're saying that shit to me? That's not cool. And then he gets home. Babe, guess what? She rejected me. Yeah, right? That's really what it was, is like his little fragile ego. Well, also when you tell someone like, oh, well, you're not on the menu.

You're implying you want to eat her. I was going to say, it's so objectifying. It's disgusting. Like, you're going to go down on her? You're going to suck a tit? Like, what does it mean? You're not on the menu. Nasty. Nasty. Oh, my God. Was this written by a...

What's that guy's name? A caveman. No, I just learned about this guy recently. An actor. Yeah. What's his name? Hammer. Army. Army Hammer. Yeah. That was so weird. I really liked him in a man called Uncle or Spy Called Uncle or whatever movie, too. It just sucks. There was screenshots, too. So I don't think that it was not legit. Yeah. There's a whole documentary on it now, I think. No way. I think so.

but okay moving along okay oh before i forget i just want to give a shout out to my blankie i got this as a present uh it's coming from i believe it's pronounced aileen but her business is house of hex and it's literally the softest blanket i think any of us have touched you i might need to get one it's so thank you okay moving along

This is coming from True Off My Chest. It is titled, I made comments about women doing yoga and now it's awkward. My 31 male wife, 30 female, and two of her good friends get together every morning to do yoga. They do it at home while watching an instructor on YouTube and rotate homes week to week. It has become an important part of her routine and she has been noticeably happier and healthier since she started doing it.

and work from home, as does one of the other husbands. He and I will joke about it when it's yoga week at our house, that we have to avoid the living room or wherever to give the women some privacy.

We usually see the ladies before or after their yoga session, and we will admittedly make little jokes to each other via text from time to time that it's a, quote, good yoga day over here if the ladies are looking cute or whatever. Not anything scandalous, just like, quote, Donna is having a great yoga day today, or, quote, Jess wins yoga today,

If they are wearing an attractive outfit or whatever, just stuff like that. The guy I text with mentioned it to the third guy over beers last week, something to the effect that he's missing out on the yoga mornings by not working from home and mentioned that he and I will send texts with yoga updates from time to time. I'm not sure the exact words, but something harmless like that.

Well, this third guy flew off the handle, told his wife, and she gave the other two women a heads up that this guy and I were sending weird texts about their yoga. My wife and the other wife absolutely laughed it off. They thought it was cute and funny and not at all unexpected. My wife let her know that they are all good guys and you can't expect guys to not notice women in yoga shorts or whatever.

But now this third woman has paused joining their morning yoga because of all of this. I feel bad about this and like I may owe an apology, although it doesn't feel like any kind of major issue. Advice is welcome. Oh, it's an advice one. So we can't go as hard. Just kidding.

Psych. I'm kind of shocked at the other lady's responses, but the weirdest part is it's like you're talking about each other's girls. Ew. Yeah. And I just, I don't know any world in which that would not be weird.

I think it's like one of those things where obviously if like we're all going out to dinner one night and like Lauren looked like really pretty, you can be like, oh, Lauren, that's a great, that's a great fit. Like you look great today, Lauren. I did before the live show. Yeah. I told her I liked her sweatshirt today. But it's like, it's very different when it's like,

It's a good yoga day today. Yeah. Jess wins yoga. But that could be like about York. It feels a little too sexual. It's not like a just nice like outfit comment or like, you know what I mean? No chance. They're probably taking pictures. And just like the being, I don't know. You can't expect a guy not to, whatever the wife said, get excited about women in yoga shorts. Yeah.

Really? Because I expect my boyfriend to not get excited about that unless it's me. Especially when it's your friends? Yeah, when it's my friends. It's also giving like, well, what was she wearing? Yeah. Like it's giving like you're inviting that attention because you're wearing leggings. Right. It's like, oh, young boys, young boys can't handle themselves. So we have to ban yoga pants in high school. Yeah. And I honestly- Control your fucking selves. If it was more like-

Like great yoga day. Like the girls look so cute. Something like that. Whatever. But I don't like the fact where it's one of them wins today. You know, if it's unless it's your own wife. Why are you saying that? I would say more often than not, though, you're not going to have anyone standing around being like, oh, the girls were cute today.

Like, it's just, I don't know anyone in my life that I would ever get that text from. Ever. If I'm putting myself in that situation, you guys are all at yoga. I would never get a text from anyone that I know that's like, let alone like any of you guys' boyfriends that you've had or have.

I would... It's just so weird. Yeah. The girls are looking great today. Like... I'm picturing just like the three girls at... Me, Ale, and Morgan at Disneyland. And Justin just texting Austin. The girls look super cute today. Well, it'd be more like me texting Brian. Yeah. And then Brian... It's just...

Brian's there. Brian looks at his phone, looks over at you like, what the fuck? It's really strange. I guess it does make sense because like the two work from home. So like they're constantly seeing them, but it's like... They're talking about each other's partner. I know. But the thing is, it's like...

In order to make those comments, you have to really be looking, analyzing, judging, observing them. And week to week. Yeah. Here's the thing, though. It's weird. If you have that dynamic in your relationship and it works for you, then it's not really that big of a problem. But it becomes the problem because somebody else doesn't like feeling whatever she's feeling. Maybe she's feeling objectified. And maybe the guy feels grossed out that these people are just like, you know, eyeing up his wife every single week.

So that's where the issue lies. But it's like if the wives don't care and that's the dynamic that they have with their husbands, then so be it. Go off. Like, whatever. I know. They might become a foursome. Well, for the one wife to say, oh, well, it's not unexpected. Yeah. Yeah.

They're into it. Yeah, they clearly don't care and if that works for them, it works for them. But you also have to understand if it doesn't work for other people, that's very fair. No, I would be uncomfortable given like me finding out newfound information that like anytime I went over to your house and Brian was there, he was checking me out. Like, yeah, I would be

really weirded out. I wouldn't want to go back, especially in tight workout clothes where I'm in like vulnerable positions, like downward dog. No. Right. So, and that's, and that's where the problem lies because it's like this, that would be like me being like, Oh, I don't care at all. I would care. I'd be very pissed off if that was happening. But I'm saying if I didn't care at all, then it's like, okay, our relationship, we're still on the same page, me and me and my boyfriend. But like my

my friend feels objectified. She feels gross. She doesn't like it. So it's not okay. Yeah. You need to fix it. So I think that he's, this guy's asking for advice. It's like, you need to fix it with the people that are feeling very disturbed. You do owe her an apology. Yeah, exactly. She's uncomfortable. Exactly. You fucked up. Yeah, you can apologize, but it's not going to change anything. Yeah, she's probably not going to come over anymore. Like, I promise I won't look at you. It's just... No, it's done. It's done for her, but you can still like...

make an apology because you made someone uncomfortable and now you like you kind of took away someone's joy because they were really loving doing this together like it sounds like a great routine it sounds really good healthy and happy and he even noticed his own wife like my wife has been a lot healthier and happier since doing these yoga mornings and you just ruined that for someone why'd you have to make it weird you took away her sense of community and

And that's everything for us. Community, social connection. I think it's what a lot of us are like missing these days. And it's hard to find. And so to take that piece from someone is really, really sad and disappointing. So you do owe an apology, bare minimum. And honestly, if you want to make it really right, you say, hey, I'm going to leave and go work from a coffee shop when you come over to do the yoga mornings. I want to make it right.

Get out of the house, you weirdo. Yeah. Or also it's just, it's not that hard to avoid for how long are they doing yoga? Not three hours. An hour. So maybe 90 minutes. Do you really have to go downstairs and go through the living room? And well, now we know why they were going down there. But like in all reality, you could avoid that space very easily if you just plan a little bit ahead. Yeah. Top comment on this one.

I have secondhand embarrassment from reading this. You guys are gross and need to grow up. I'd never work out at a friend's if their husbands are texting about mine and our bodies to their other buddies. What the hell? Yeah. Yeah. The next one kind of highlights what we talked about. It's like not to mention being compared to another woman on top of it. One wins yoga by having the most attractive outfit.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's just weird. The whole thing just feels icky. I don't need to say it again, but just let's say the one that won yoga was Lauren. And I'm texting Brian like, dude, Lauren won yoga today.

It's so weird. Oh my God. What is that about? Brian should feel threatened. Like, what are you trying to instill in your buddy? I would be like, if I saw him Brian's phone, like, like Alejandro one today, she looks great. If we were all hanging out,

Bye. That's like me. I'd be so pissed. Well, that's like an even better perspective is like us going out to drinks and like Brian looks really good. And I'd be in like Lauren, Brian looks really good today. That one could be maybe. He could get it. Yeah. Okay. Now we're getting to the story we did on the show.

And then you instantly start making out and it's like, wait. You can't tease people with live show stories. They're not going to hear them. That one might be heard. Maybe. Yeah. Wait, which one is it? You know which one, Lauren. The friend.

playing never have i ever oh yeah yeah we'll put it on patreon yeah that one probably one of the most memorable thus far i really yeah that one made me more mad than anything on the show so far yeah i i can't say for for in the studio because there's so many i don't even but in terms of the tour for some reason that one like got me most angry i guess we're taking it to patreon yeah there we go okay moving along to the next one

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Okay, moving along to this next one. It's coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my kids that I won't be lonely for the rest of my life and if they don't come to my wedding, they clearly don't give a shit about my happiness. Ooh. Everyone is an adult.

My husband has been officially dead for three years. He might as well have been dead for a few years already, though. He was declining for a long time and was basically a veggie for three years until he passed away.

I was the one that took care of him until he went to a high care facility. In all honesty, I already started the mourning process years before he died. So when he did die, I already accepted it. Yeah, makes sense. I started a date right after his death and I met a very nice guy. We've been together for a while and he proposed to me. He is also a widower. I can call him Tim. Tim is a great guy and my kids hate him.

He has done nothing wrong to make them hate him. The worst he has done the whole time was go on a rant about planes. My kids hate his guts. They really hate that I'm moving on. I've already discussed this before with them, and it boils down to I am replacing their father. All I ask is for them to be polite to him. He doesn't deserve their hate.

He proposed and I said yes. I informed the kids at a family dinner that I'm getting remarried. They blew up and it started an argument. Two said they will not come to my wedding on principle of the whole thing. I informed my kids I won't be lonely for my whole life and if they don't come to my wedding, they clearly don't give a shit about my happiness. They called me a jerk and I want an outside opinion. Am I the asshole?

No. How old are the kids? OP doesn't give an actual age, just mentions all are adults. Okay. Adults to OP though could mean right at 18. So very unclear. Account has been suspended at this point. So I can't search directly in OP's comments, but I'm going to scan through and see if I can find anything. I guess for the kids, it's probably hard that she started dating immediately after he died because

I understand what she's saying because I've heard other people say that where when somebody is sick and declining like that, they are mentally preparing themselves for years to accept, you know, to accept it. So I've heard that before. That doesn't sound like a crazy concept. But for the kids, I'm sure just dating immediately after he passed probably felt really wrong for them.

But she's I mean, what what do they expect? Like, don't they want her to be happy? I mean, if she is happy, shouldn't they want that? You know, and I think that it comes down to everybody mourning in a different way. Yeah. For me, I guess I'm just a little confused by the timeline. Like as I was reading it and Opie goes, my husband has been officially dead for three years. He might as well have been dead for a few years already, though.

Before that. Yeah. So I'm like, I wonder how long it was from like a vegetative state and he's just, you know, at a high care facility versus, okay, he died and now it's been three years. Like when did she start dating Tim? Yeah. I think that's like the timeline is a little unclear here. And as I was reading it, like I literally, you guys won't see it because I edited it, but it's,

I literally paused and I'm like, what? Like, I was like pondering the post before I continued reading because I was confused about that. But I thought that it was three years since he passed away and then she started dating this Tim guy like right after he passed away. And so now it's been three years since he's died. That's what I was thinking. Okay. Yeah. I wonder if there's any comments from OP. Wait, do you think that she's the asshole? You guys didn't answer. No, I don't think...

The asshole. I think, like, the family should definitely go through some family therapy together. Because, like, it is hard losing a parent. But at the same time, you can't expect the one that's still there to not move on. Yeah. That's unfair. I can understand, like, the resentment if she did start dating him, like, before the dad passed. Yeah.

Because like, what if there was some miracle and he woke up? I don't know. Yeah. Like that, that kind of gets tricky. It sounded like it was separate though. Yeah. But it was, but this one's also hard. I think for me to, I mean, my parents have been divorced since I was three years old. So I don't know parents to be together like that. So it's kind of, this one might not be the best story for me to put my take on.

But it's a tough one. Yeah. But I would say overall, she doesn't sound like the asshole to me. Yeah. I don't know if there's more that I'm missing, but that's my that's what I'm getting. I do see a comment from Opie. So someone goes, quote, referencing what Opie said. I started a date right after his death.

This is an unclear timeline. Could you please give a number to right away? It sounds like they are mourning the death of their father. Then you throw some guilt their way because you moved on very fast? OP responds, I started to go on dates again four months after he passed. I went on dates with people. I've been with Tim for almost two years. I met Tim about a year after my husband had passed.

Oh, okay. I already went through most of the mourning process when he was still alive. He has been dead for a while to me before he even died. He was in a vegetative state. He couldn't even talk for two years before he died. He was alive, but no one was home for a while before he passed. He just laid there, dead to the world. That's so tough. Yeah, I really don't think you've done anything wrong. The only scenario is when I feel like

you want to avoid a wedding is when you completely unsupport the new relationship based on some wrongdoing. Yeah. Maybe they cheated and that's the partner they stuck with and you want nothing to do with that. Right. And so you avoid the wedding. That makes sense. In this case, it's sure it's fully their decision to take this stance and not go for their sake, but there's no reason to hold her back. She is full right and she's totally fine

not in the wrong at all to go forward and do this. She's moving on and that's fair. And if the kids don't want to yet, then they don't have to. But I wouldn't hold, I wouldn't like not marry this guy because of that. No, if they're not going to support you,

That's on them. And they just burned that bridge with their mom who seemingly loves them and is just trying to be happy and not alone by herself. Sad. Yeah. There's additional comments from Opie. Someone asked, I would also like to know just how involved or not involved the children had in the care of their father. How much time did they manage to spend with him?

OP responds, not much. They would visit, but they were not very involved. They knew what was happening, but they had their own lives. Yeah. And so she can't have hers now. That's the thing, too, is like I I not that I am thinking that she should do this, but I think that there's people who would have started dating during those two years where their husband is dead.

not even speaking, not even home, as she said. So to me, I actually think that this timeline sounds like it was respectful. She was taking care of him that entire time. And then for four months still, she stayed away from dating. Yeah. Which that sounds like it was then years. Like, yeah, that was at least, you know, two and a half, maybe almost three years. Yeah. Well, she said she was taking care of him for longer than the than he was. Yeah. Yeah. So ages on the kids. Yeah.

The oldest is 37. The middle child is 34. And the youngest is 31. Interesting. That is very interesting. I'm actually really shocked. Me too. Like, I thought it was going to be like an 18-year-old, like, right, and then dad passed when they were 15. And that's why they're, like, still, like, really struggling with this, which a loss is hard no matter what age. Of course. But...

You should, if you have your own lives, maybe your own partners, maybe your own kids, you could maybe have a little bit more empathy for your mom. I just wonder if there's more to this. Like, I wonder if there I don't because it doesn't really seem to add up to me.

It's really weird. I can't see any other comments from OP. There's a story that I really want to read to you. It's so long. So that's the one that you said you think we should put on Patreon. But it is the same type of theme where the family members do not want somebody to move on because of the death of their wife. We got our two stories for today that we're doing right after this. I mean, yeah, sometimes it could be it could feel wrong or it could feel inappropriate.

But this is completely justified. The time was there. She was the main caretaker. I mean, she did everything right as far as the context here. Yeah.

And so just as a kid, it'd be very selfish to try and hold your mom back from something like this or to not support her when there's like, I don't get the whole replace your dad thing. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a parent. I don't know how long you'd hold on to that and keep your mom from being happy forever.

because of something that's probably internal. Yeah. You go ahead, Chris Lauren. No, I was just going to say, I just think that some people really just do not like the idea of people getting remarried after a death. Yeah. Like, I just think that for some people, it's just not something that computes. I know. Well, what's crazy too is like based on their ages,

No matter who your mom remarried, and this is the same for people that are young too, like a 13-year-old that their, you know, a parent died and their other one gets remarried. No one is going to replace your parent. That was still your dad. Yeah. That was still your mom. That was still your person. No one's going to replace them. Right. But now at least your mom isn't alone. Yeah. 100%. And what's really your contact going to be? It's not like you're having a new father figure move into your home. Yeah.

Yeah. This is just your mom's partner. Right. Yeah. And you're off and on and on your own life. Yeah. So it's, I get when it happens to a young kid and it's like, there's someone new in my house and they're trying to act like a dad, but they're also, you know, whatever. That's when boundaries can get weird. Yeah. And, you know, that can be really tough, but.

Let your mom be happy. I know. Well, someone wanted to know too about the plane rant. So they go, info, what does rant about planes mean? We talk in a what's the deal with airline peanuts rant or more of a quote jet fuel can't melt still beams type situation. Maybe they're pilots. Which is that for those that don't know the context, they're referring to 9-11 conspiracy theories with that last one.

Are the kids pilots? So, well, this was Tim on the plane rant and that's why they don't like him.

Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. So OP responds, he worked on planes for his career and is very passionate about different types. He started ranting about an airline wanting a new part that was discontinued and explaining why they don't use it anymore and its dangers. So more of a work rant than anything. It was fine. Yeah, it's actually kind of interesting. I know. Someone comments back, my dad is a pilot, so I completely understand. It's not a job. It's

It's in their blood. Yeah, I knew who was having the rant. I was just saying maybe there was some disagreement and all the kids were pilots and that they were like, no, this is that and this is that. And they like feuded over something like that, that they actually knew something about. This is really sad. I thought based on the title, I thought we were going to get something a whole lot different, which is why I'm like, wait, you said what out loud? Yeah.

And now I'm just like, fuck you kids. Yeah. Like your mom deserves better. It's, it's really sad all around. But like the reality is like your dad is gone and you don't like adult kids. Like you don't see your parents a lot. You move on, you have your own lives. Yeah.

And it's just, it's sad. You should want her to be supported and happy. Yeah, it is interesting. I'm just, the reason I'm wondering if it's just that they have this mentality of not getting remarried if a significant other passes away is because one time I was out to a happy hour with some coworkers and one of my coworkers was saying how her husband said that he will never love again if she were to pass away, that he would just like, never. Wow. And she was like, I feel like I would definitely like,

I wouldn't want to be alone. Yeah. So I just think that maybe it's a difference in how they view that. I can see that. You just looked at me so sad when I was like, I wouldn't want to be alone. And Justin looks over like, what? I think people should 100% do whatever they feel. They should not suppress and walk around their home alone the rest of their lives just because of

a partner or divorce or cheating or something. I mean, like do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy. Okay, let's move along and lighten this mood a little bit, eh? Eh. Eh. Okay, this next one is coming from A-I-T-A-H. It is titled, Am I the asshole for being truthful and admitting that I find my wife unattractive after her surgery? Probably. Yes.

My wife had plastic surgery recently. We had discussed it and I was against it. It was not my decision and ultimately I had no say. She looks weird now. She had the fat sucked out of her face, lip fillers, a neck lift, other stuff I don't really get. She gives me uncanny valley vibes now. It freaks me out.

She is fully healed now, and she wants us to go back to normal, like me initiating sex. I have done so, but not as much as I used to. And when I do, I try and make sure there is very little light. You can't eat because we're missing your reactions. It's been a few months, and I kind of dread having to look at her. Obviously, she has noticed. You're like,

Oh no. She has been bugging me to tell her what's up. I've tried telling her I'm just tired from work or that I'm run down. Really anything except the truth. She broke down and asked me if I was having an affair and I said I wasn't. She asked to look at my phone. I unlocked it for her and handed it over. I wasn't worried about her finding anything because there's nothing to find.

She spent an hour looking through it and found nothing. She asked me to explain why I changed. I tried explaining that I just wasn't that interested right now. Nothing I said was good enough for her, but she kept digging. I finally told the truth. I wasn't harsh or brutally honest. I just told her that her new face wasn't something I found attractive and that I was turned off.

She asked if that's why I turn all of the lights off now. And I said, yes.

She started crying and said that she needed time alone. She went to stay with her sister. I have been called every name in the book since this happened. Her sister said I'm a piece of shit for insulting my wife's looks. Her friends all think I'm the asshole. I tried not to say anything. I can't force myself to find her attractive. I still love her, but her face is just weird now. She looks like the blue alien from The Fifth Element.

Am I the asshole? Okay. This is a very... Can Lauren go first? No. Okay. Lauren's over here stressed, chomping on a chip. I'm going to honestly say...

I don't think so until that last comment. The blue alien? Yes. I think when you take it to levels like that, that's when you were getting to asshole territory. The reality is, yes, you can't control your attraction levels. You can't control your horniness levels. I think the only better way, obviously, you could have done this is to be honest up front and not start making someone feel like they're crazy. But...

What do you do? Do you like, I think you need to be honest with stuff like this, even if that means you lose the relationship because are you going to go through the rest of your life, lying to your partner, lying to yourself and just being not happy? Or do you be honest with your partner and you can be very sensitive about it. You're not talking, you're obviously it's like, I feel terrible for her because I, I,

Just anything with looks and not insults, but just like someone not being attracted, especially your partner. Yeah. Like that would break me. That would break anyone. But at the same time for him,

You kind of got to be honest. And if that means moving on, it's moving on. But I don't think you're an asshole for being honest and getting out in the open versus lying forever. I don't either, especially because he tried to talk her out of it. He really told her at the beginning before any of these surgeries, I'm adamantly against this. Which means she did it for her, which is fine.

Yeah. It's just, sorry, go on. No, the last point is-

Buckle fat removal is like a big trend right now. And it's probably one of the worst things you can do because as you age, you lose more fat in your face and that increases the jowls. Like it doesn't, it doesn't longevity wise. It's not a good look. Yeah. A lot of surgeons even very much are advising against it now. Exactly. Yeah. Demi Moore is a great example of buckle fat removal gone wrong.

Gone wrong. That sounded wrong. And she got like really criticized for it and ended up, I don't know if she got fat reinjected or what, but she reversed it and looks incredible. So I think that's a great example of like, like you can fix it, but it's really, it's tough. But Lauren, you were, you were really heated over there. I wouldn't say heated, just more wow kind of factor. Cause it's one of those things where I know that,

I'm always foretelling the truth. And I get what you're saying, Justin. But part of me feels, I don't know, this one's kind of hard because it's his truth that would potentially affect her for the rest of her life. She can't go back and change these things. Maybe like the buckle fat, like you just mentioned. But there's a lot of these things that are going to be hard for her to go back. So now it's like you just instilled a deep insecurity of her that she might carry with her. The person that she loves the most in the world

doesn't find her attractive i know it's like that to me is one of those things where i don't know if the truth was the right thing to do if anything it's like maybe he could like switch it and be like i'm sorry i just i realize that i'm not into plastic surgery i just i don't want i'm whatever at least make it a little bit better but this one just kind of hurts and

It's tough to overcome. You know, how do you go back from there? How do you continue your relationship with knowing that your husband has been turning the lights off every time you guys hook up? That is painful. And she recognizes it and asks him too. Is this why you've been turning the lights off? Well, yeah, you feel terrible. But at the same time, I don't think this relationship is going to continue. He still loves her though. I think it could. He still really loves her. Here's the thing that's interesting about this one.

is that we had a story at the live show where a guy told his wife that he doesn't find her attractive anymore and doesn't want to be intimate with her because she gained 20 pounds. Oh, and we all were like, he sucks. But Justin, you were just saying you can't control your what you're attracted to or not. And, um, but,

But everyone, you know, in that situation would like, well, screw that guy. You should love your partner through thick and thin and all this. Whereas this situation, people are, it seems a little bit more. It's interesting. Going easy on him, you know? Well, and is that because she made that decision? Maybe. Actively, you know, because they seem kind of on the same playing field in a way. Yeah. Well, let me show you the picture of the alien.

Sorry, same playing field of stories is what it meant. Yeah. Well, that couple, they were dating and she gained weight because she went on birth control for him. That's right. I forgot about that. A little different. They've been married and this is like elective aggressive plastic surgery. Which would align it more with that if he had pressured her to go in and do this. Yeah, that's true. And then after was like, nope. Oh, I don't like it anymore. That's true. I forgot about that aspect. Like he was saying, no, I love you for you. Don't do this.

This is the blue alien. I do understand the reference because this person, not the alien like head and tendrils. Just the face though. The face is very snatched and sculpted. So I do understand like if she got a bleph and a neck lift, chin lift, lipo, buckle. It's very sculpted chisel. No facial fat.

So I do understand the reference that he was trying to make. I wish he submitted a picture, which I know that they wouldn't do that, but... I know. Like, how different could she really look? Look. Top comment. Not the asshole. I think you handled the situation as well as you could, but there's a difficult conversation you and her need to have soon. Someone goes...

Oh, God, if she did the buckle fat remover, I totally feel you. It makes people look freaky. And Opie goes, yeah, that's it. Thanks. I couldn't remember. Oh, man. There are plastic surgeons out there that refuse to do this. One, because of the damage it can cause. And two, because there isn't enough data to show what it'll do over time. But they expect it'll cause some worse problems down the road as people age. So anyways, not the asshole. They go on to say all caps. She did all of this.

And still can't manage to take any personal responsibility or act like an adult about it. Yeah, I don't like how all of everyone's attacking him. All the friends are calling him all these awful names. The sister. Yeah. Oh. The sister. Which, like, you would, too. If, like, if you came over to my house crying and you were like,

my partner called me ugly and he's not attracted to me and he shuts the lights off when we have sex, I'd be like, dude, what the fuck is your problem? Yeah, true. Like that's an initial reaction based on someone coming to you, having a mouth down. Like that's, they're going to stick up for your people. Yeah, that's fair. Well, and honestly, you know, you could say, well, in a perfect world, you could come clean right away. But in our actual human world,

Yeah. He probably did handle it the best way possible in the sense that, yeah, you got to the level where you'd make it really dark in your room and whatever. But at the same time, you're probably trying to figure out these feelings. Yeah. You're trying to give it time. Yeah. And give it time just to give things a shot. And then after realizing when she's starting to really be like, I need to go through her phone, then yes, you realized you're at the time where you have to just

come clean, whereas a lot of people probably wouldn't have the maturity to come clean at that point. We do have a lot of comments from OP. He does say,

Someone goes, do you love her because of her looks or who she is? Which is a good point. And OP goes, love and sexual attraction are two very different things. Someone asks, how was getting these surgeries discussed? And what did she say when you protested?

She said she wanted to get this stuff done. I said I would prefer it if she didn't. I pulled up pictures of celebrities before and after and showed her how weird they look. Meg Ryan, the girl from Glee, the girl from Lip Sync Battle. She said that she would feel better about herself if she got it. We talked and argued about it for a year before she did it. Started with lip fillers and ended with buckle fat removal. Someone goes, you're shallow.

He responds, if I got a snake tattoo across my face, is she allowed to say she isn't a fan? Money and age. We are both in our mid-30s. Her mom gave her the money for these surgeries as a gift. He's got good responses. Yeah. I mean, I just, I think that...

Because of the fact that he adamantly expressed how much he doesn't find it attractive, then she shouldn't be that surprised that he ended up not finding it attractive. You know, like they talked about it for a year. He showed before and after pictures like he made it, you know, as much as that sucks. Like, I don't know. Now that knowing that information, I don't know why she's that shocked. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a lot of comments, a lot, a lot of comments from OP. I will try to post the link. I wasn't able to do it for a past couple episodes because my computer did an update and all of my tabs went bye-bye. But I will hopefully have all of these. We do have an update. Oh, okay. This was posted three days later. So it's coming from March 12th of this year. Okay. My wife came home yesterday and we finally had a long talk.

She told me that the reason she had the surgery was because her mom and sister talked her into it. Oh, okay. Why? Now we know the sister's position. That makes sense. They convinced her that she was starting to look old and that I would find someone else to be with if she did not do something. What the fuck? That was why her mom gave her the money for the operation. That's messed up. Her mom and sister look like Bruce Campbell in Escape from L.A.,

I don't know what that is. All these references. They are the very last people on the planet that should be telling anyone to get plastic surgery. I used some of the comments I read on the post as my talking points. I told her that I loved her and that she was the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I told her that the surgery would take a while longer to settle down and that as I got more used to her new face, I would learn to appreciate it.

She asked me if I wanted her to see if she could get some of it reversed. I almost screamed at her. The last thing in the world I want is for her to fuck up her face more than it already is. I asked her if she could please just leave it and let me get used to it. We talked about it for three hours and we decided that her mom and sister would not be a part of any decisions in our lives going forward.

She is going to leave her face alone and give me a chance to get used to it. We are going to look for a marriage counselor and maybe individual counselors for each of us.

I am going to make an effort to show her every day how I still find her desirable. And she is going to make an effort to believe me when I tell her I love her the way she is. We're going to talk to her mom and sister and tell them we are taking a break from them. We're going to block them and get our shit together before we allow them back into our lives. Thank you to everyone who tried to help me. I would like to add that I did not think there were many guys out there with a weird blue squid lady fetish.

It isn't for me, but you do you. Wow. Yeah. This one kind of makes you feel sick. It's really sad. One thing...

No one should ever tell somebody else that they need plastic surgery. That's just an absolute no. So that part is really saddening, especially that it's coming from her family and that they're saying that he's going to leave you if you don't get these plastic surgeries.

That is so, so sad. I know. I know. And then you start to think about how much was this really her idea? No. Yeah. It doesn't sound like it at all. I know. Like it obviously takes her to go through with it after a year of debating with him even. It takes her to still make that call. But I think just one of the scariest thoughts ever would be to go get some

you know, altering surgery, body altering, and then having regret and having no way to go back. That is a nightmare. Yeah. I, I've like thought about different plastic surgeries before and I just, it just freaks me out too much to not be able to

It's permanent. You can't just be like, actually, yeah, undo because I'd rather just have it be how it was. That part freaks me out. Yeah. Well, I will show you because I never showed you guys Demi Moore. So this is Demi Moore after she got the buckle fat removal. No way. Yeah. What's the point? It makes your face look sculpted, which a sculpted face with high cheekbones and that indent like...

that gives skinny i don't know it's it's very desirable for a lot of people there's been a lot of people that have done it it gives you like the joker scars that is i haven't seen that on other people that was that's i'll show you one more i'll show you one more before demi moore's without a doubt one of the most beautiful women she has since had some reversal and so this is her current look

Which is so, so beautiful. Like, it's just like, I don't obviously do things that make you feel more confident. Like, I'm not totally against plastic surgery. But don't let other people's cruel comments or judgments or whatever put pressure on you or other people's beauty standards that are unrealistic. Don't let that...

change the view of yourself and make you do things that could cause damage are unreversible. Yeah. Like it's not worth it. It should truly be for you. Yeah. And that's why I can't stand the idea of people telling other people that they should get plastic surgery. That's just, yeah, no, no. Yeah. That's scary. Yeah. See, I'm into that. She's so pretty. Yeah. So pretty. Do you think she's cute? Did she win today? She would have won yoga today. Yeah.

But OP has been very, very communicative. There's...

Maybe eventually going to be another update, but that was the last update we had. I think from the update, I'm sensing a very good person. The one thing I didn't like was the wife saying, do you want me to go and see if I can reverse anything? And he goes, no, I don't want you to fuck up your face more. Yeah, that's a little too much. I hope he didn't say to her directly like that. Yeah. But...

There's a really good chance like some of it could be reversed. Yeah, I mean, especially lip injections. That's true. Lip injections you can dissolve. Filler you can dissolve. And the buccal fat, didn't you just say that's also reversible? Demi Moore? Demi Moore did something. I don't know the procedures, but Demi Moore had a big transformation. I wonder if they can take fat from other parts of you and put it back in there. Probably. Hmm.

I feel like they do that with a lot of places. It seems like if they are able to take it out, they'd be able to put it back in. I would just wonder how risky it is. You think? If it comes from yourself, though, then... But like BBLs are one of the most risky surgeries there are. Are they? What exactly do they do? I feel like I would not want to watch a video of that. It's really crazy watching lipo procedures and fat getting sucked out. It's wild.

But that's essentially they suck fat. I always think it seems like it should be so easy. Like this, you know, the little like patch of fat right here. I always just think like, can't they just put a little straw in here and just like. That's what they do. But they go with a laser suction. They like burn the fat and suck it out. It's. Haven't you seen lipo videos? Never. Let me show you real quick. Perfect. Because for some reason, it just seems like it should be an easier surgery than what it is. Like just take a tiny little straw. It's not all in one little patch though. I know.

It's like I do want to watch it though. Oh, this lipo video. Yeah, zoom the fuck in. Okay, it's kind of what I thought, but I thought like, I didn't think they'd get so invasive like that. It's very violent.

It is very hot. You can't be doing anything good. You don't do any good inside by just... Honestly... I was thinking, like, poke a little hole and just squeeze it out. But, like, so many people get lipo. Like, my mom wants to get, like, a lot of lipo. So many people do the mommy makeovers when they're done having kids and do, like, lipo tummy tucks. I'd just be scary. I'd stab something. The way he was moving that thing. Yeah, but you're in the adipose layer. That's fat. But you're right. It just felt so aggressive. Dude...

Oh, man. That was crazy. Moving along. Do not need that. Okay. Moving along. Trigger warning on this one. It does contain talks of child loss. Okay. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole?

It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Brother's Girlfriend to F Off. This is a throwaway, so I don't completely embarrass myself on my personal account because this is a little crazy. My wife and I, 39, lost our teenage son earlier this year. It's been heart-wrenching. My wife actually got fired from her job because she fell into a deep depression, as can be imagined.

My brother has a girlfriend, 22. She dabbles in the spiritual world and is into all of that kinds of stuff. Three nights ago, we had them over for dinner for my youngest birthday party. In front of my depressed wife and my two young children, 8 and 11, she says, quote, I can feel your son here. I say, excuse me?

She tells my wife that she can feel his presence here and that she just knows she can help us make contact and help us with closure. My youngest is confused, starts crying. My wife's on the verge of tears. My brother's staring at her in awe.

Like it's this great thing. I told her she needs to stop that or she could leave. She got upset and said she was trying to help us with closure and that I just don't understand. I told her to F off and leave. My brother got angry at me. We got into a big argument. They left. My wife is upset, but thinks maybe I should have listened to her. She's desperate.

My brother is texting me about how disrespectful I was to his girlfriend and I need to apologize. That's not just something you say to grieving parents, is it? Am I the asshole? Shit. I think anytime you're acting out of emotion or you're in such fresh...

in the grieving process. I don't think a lot of times you have much control over how you react or things you say when it gets put in your face like this. I feel like some people would really latch onto that and it would be a way different moment. Or I feel like it's gonna be one or the other. It's either gonna be like, what the fuck? Or,

you feel what? And it really like, it hits them. So I wish maybe there could be some sort of way to test the room. If you're going to attempt something like this with random people you don't know well, in a way to try and tread lightly to see if that's, if they could benefit from something like this or not, instead of just kind of going for it. Well, and that's how I feel too. I feel like there's a time and a place for everything. Like she actually might be very,

very real. She might feel she has a spiritual connection. I do believe that there are people out there that have abilities that can't be explained and they're more in touch to other energy or another realm. But on the flip side, I think there are people that kind of use it to manipulate vulnerable people, grieving people, people looking for answers. So for me,

I don't think this is the time or a place. This is another birthday party. There's two young children there who just lost their big brother. The kids are the big difference, for sure. Do it when they're alone. And don't just start spewing stuff like, I feel his presence here. Oh my God. Approach her and say, hey, I do have a little bit of a gift and

If you'd like to, you know, sit down with me one night, maybe we could try to like connect and maybe provide you some closure because that could really help her.

But there's a time and a place and a way to approach this. So no, I don't think OP was the asshole saying fuck off because that feels very wrong. You upset people. You cause kids to cry. That could be a life-changing, defining, traumatizing moment for them. That's not fair. I thought the kids were crying because they were...

Is that were they crying because they were upset? No, they're confused and start crying. Yeah. The mom is on the verge of tears. Yeah, because as a kid, you're like, what? He's here? Just it's. Yeah, it's not. It wasn't appropriate. But I do think, though, even if it's warranted to tell someone to fuck off, I don't think that's the right thing to do either. You know, like he could he could have literally been like,

We're grieving. This was not an appropriate time to bring this up and in front of the kids. So I would like

I would like you to leave. Yeah. Because I need time to process this. You know what I mean? And it's like, again, we say this, but in the moment, shit happens. People say things. It's emotional and all that. But like if we're going to... If he's asking like, am I the asshole? I would just... If I were him, I would reach out and be like, I'm sorry I said fuck off. But I really felt that was inappropriate. And I was really upset by that. I honestly like...

I don't know. Like I, I don't slight him in any way because like how else, like I would pop off the handle too. I'd be like, wait, what, what the, what are you saying? What the fuck? Get the fuck off. Like what? So I think it's just kind of like,

Could he have said it nicer? Yeah. But honestly, someone that does that in that moment, I don't know if they deserve to be treated the nicest. Like, and he said stop and she kept going. And then it was like, yeah, like he did say, I told her she needed to stop or she could leave. Oh, I missed that. She got upset and said she was trying to help us get closure. And I just don't understand.

So then she's like doubling down. Yeah. Respect what he just said. Right. And then that's when he said, I told her to fuck off and leave. Yeah. Yeah. I don't blame him for saying that, but like, I'm just saying he is asking like, am I the asshole? And it's like, no, you're not the asshole. But like, if you want advice, yeah.

You should probably apologize for that aspect if you want to have a relationship with your brother and, you know, his girlfriend. But I also, you know, it's very emotional. They're mourning. So it's not a shocking, you know, reaction. Yeah.

Overall vote on this one, not the asshole. There's no comments from OP, no updates. The top comment, you, sir, have fantastic restraint and are not the asshole. I'd have a hard time not physically throwing her and your brother out of my house if I'd been in your shoes. Another person said,

I didn't read this. There's time and a place for everything. And it wasn't either one. You are all obviously still moving through the grieving process and need time to heal your souls after something as traumatic as losing a child. We have my sympathy for that. And I hope you and your family can truly heal to where it won't hurt so terribly. Anytime someone brings up your son in the future. It took me a few years to get there after cancer took my father at a young age.

As the girlfriend is fairly young and is maybe used to people that humor her spirituality and appreciate it even, maybe she didn't realize it was inappropriate in this case. Yeah, clearly. However, your brother is a real asshole for not only stopping his girlfriend, but even defending her and arguing with you about it. Yeah.

My advice going forward, text your brother back about the complete lack of social awareness of his girlfriend and the trauma it caused your family with what she said. And hold firm about not apologizing to her, nor is she welcome in your house or around your family until she can apologize to you and your family and keep her damn mouth shut. Dang, I'm getting angry on your behalf. Sorry, not sorry about that. Someone down goes, I'm a pagan and I wouldn't put up with her bullshit.

What's a pagan? Pagan are more like spiritualistic. Like a lot of like Christmas and Christian traditions descended from paganism. Okay. It's like another form of spirituality, I believe. Pagan, a person holding religious beliefs other than those of the main or recognized religion. Okay. It's very vague. Yeah, it's just definitely, it wasn't cool. Yeah.

And I guess that's a good point, too, in that comment. It's like she's the one who owes him an apology. Like he even though he told her to fuck off and I was saying, you know, he could reach out to her, say, I'm sorry for that. But I was really inappropriate. You know, I don't appreciate what you did. And then they could have that discussion. He also doesn't really owe her that either. No, that's what I was saying. Yeah. Like given the context of.

Like, was it the nicest way? No, but you're not the asshole. And honestly, you kind of are justified. And she owes you an apology. Yeah. Well, at some point you just have to get to that point. If someone's not leaving or you got to get like, you just need it to stop. Get the fuck out. You just get to that moment. And then that's what finally makes them realize like, oh, I'm doing something wrong. I mean, business. Yeah. Especially after he already asked her to stop.

There's another comment that goes, and in front of their young children. Yeah, that was wrong. Next comment down, at their birthday dinner. Bag of Ophal. Ophal? This woman is? And next person goes, it boggles the mind. I tend to use the phrase, dumber than a bag of hammers. Don't know where it came from, but it gets the point across to most folks. Dumber than a bag of hammers. This is like what I was saying, how there's somebody that...

I know. It's a friend of mine. His dad started dating somebody new after his ex died. And she goes up to the son, which is my friend, and was like, you were my son in another life. Which is so messed up to me because it's like...

Even if that was, even if she does have these really special abilities and there was truth behind that, to do that in the beginning of the first couple weeks of dating somebody is so twisted. How old was the kid? Our age.

Like my age right now? Yeah. But at the time he was like 24. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, yeah, he was younger. 24, 25. Oh my God. I wish someone would say that to me. Why? Just because I'd be like, no, I fucking wasn't. Yeah. He was like really that his dad was like really manipulated by her. It does. It kind of does remind me of that where like she used her gifts, whether she has them or not.

To like lie and like manipulate into the relationship and like get him to almost like trauma bond. It truly. Your deceased fiance wants us to be together. Yeah. That's crazy. Dude, I would pop off. Even if I was the dad. Yeah. If I was the dad in this one, if I were the dad, sorry for my grammar, I would...

Oh, because I already. Yeah. No, we're not going to go there. Well, just policing yourself on grammar and then just ultimate being like, no, never mind. Yeah. Self-control. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Moving along. Maybe our maybe our last story on this episode. Maybe. This one is titled Am I the Asshole for Cutting My Mother-in-Law Off Because She Told My Daughter She Hoped I Had Died When I Was Taken to the Hospital.

Pretty sure we have an answer from the title. Again, wait for the context, Lauren. They said what out loud? They said what?

I, 30 female, was in a car crash. I had to be cut out of the car. I wasn't seriously injured though, thankfully, but the other person unfortunately wasn't doing too well. From what I saw before I was taken away to the hospital. I was told to stay in the hospital overnight to see if I suffered from a concussion. I rang my husband and told him what happened. My mother-in-law got the incidents mixed up when he dropped off our daughters, six and 11, with my mother-in-law while he rushed to see me.

Next morning, my husband brought our daughters to come and visit me while I was waiting to be discharged. Upon seeing me, my six-year-old burst into tears and said, I don't want you to die. I comforted her and said, I'm not dying. I'm very lucky. She then said, granny said, she hoped I die so that them and my husband can come live with her.

Me and my husband were shocked, and my 12-year-old confirmed she heard her say that. My husband said he was going to ring mother-in-law. Yeah. When he came back in the room, he looked furious, but didn't say anything until after we got home, and he did say mother-in-law denied it. But after he kept pushing, she ended up admitting it. Dude, kids don't lie. But she said she didn't mean it.

I thought me and her were close, but I guess not. I'm incredibly hurt she would want that.

And I said I wanted for me and the girls to go no contact with mother-in-law. Yeah. I told my husband he can have a relationship with her, but I don't want me and the girls to have one. Zero. My husband said he supports me. He then rang mother-in-law and told her what I said. She didn't take it well. She came to our house crying and saying it was a misunderstanding and she didn't mean it and that we were taking it the wrong way.

My husband asked, what did you mean by it then? She just got hysterical and started crying and saying she always wanted daughters, but my husband was the only child due to her not being able to have any more after him and that the girls are more like her daughters than granddaughters. And she wasn't thinking properly when she said that to her six-year-old. You are insane. She got so worked up that my husband had to take her home.

When he got back, he said he didn't know she felt like that and asked, did I still want to cut her off? I said, yes. He said, okay, and didn't argue. But it's been a week now and he is still very quiet and hasn't said much about what has happened. And now I'm starting to feel guilty and wondering if I did take it the wrong way and am I being the asshole?

How do you take that the wrong way? I hope your mom dies so you can come live with me. That's so messed up. To a six-year-old. Messed up. When everybody's already frantic, it's so scary for them to hear that their mom was in a car accident and in the hospital. A six-year-old. And you're going to throw that in there? What is wrong with you? Dude. What is wrong with you? That is insane. Well, what about him?

About him? Like, how he's... Wouldn't that be an instant cutoff, even if it was your own parent? I... Yeah. I don't know why he's, like, really perplexed by it. Well, there's the shock, right? So, like, anyone can have the shock of it and...

sit and be like, okay, what the fuck just happened? We would all like look at our parents and be like, I didn't know my mom would ever do something like that. Like if your mom, my mom, any of our moms ever said that, we'd be like, she said what? No, no, no way. You'd kind of go into shock a little bit. But not even denial shock. I'm saying just shock at the whole situation you're in overall. Yeah. Like, okay, now my partner and my kids, obviously they want no...

Well, the kids, the kids are included in her wish for no contact. Yeah. That's unhealthy. Correct. Yeah. Totally justified. If she's going to say stuff like that. But I'm just like, if I'm him, aren't you also just kind of like, if it's,

not absolute no contact. It's extremely fucking low and no trust contact. Like there's, what could you trust? For only him. Yeah. Right? Yeah. That's what, like who, how could you ever trust someone that wished that type of ill will towards you? I know. That's almost borderline like no,

not that much worse than wishing you were dead yourself. Dude, I would be really concerned going over to her house, eating her food. Yeah, literally. I think I'm confused by his reaction when she came over crying and was hysterical. To me, I'm not shocked by that reaction because that was her trying to get her way and demonstrate a last stand. But I think he felt bad when his mom was like, well, I wanted girls and I couldn't have any more girls because...

Because of whatever reasons. It's like, yeah, that's really sad. You just fucked that up. That's really sad. But, like, to then say, like, I think of my granddaughters as my children and then I wish their mom would die. That's scary. It's terrifying. You're not...

safe to be alone with them anymore are you going to try to kidnap them and and even just that comment alone would piss me off they're more my daughters than they are my granddaughters no actually they're not they're my daughters and they're your granddaughters that's a story let's get it straight yeah don't get it twisted it really doesn't matter what she wanted or what she wished for all of those rights to even say anything went out the door

It's so creepy. And to your point, how do you even trust her after that? It's like in such a vulnerable, scary moment for everybody, she's going to make a comment like that. And I'm trying to think if there's any way where it could be like, no, I didn't mean it like that. And she's... If she was...

I'm trying to think of any good way that she could have meant it and I can't come up with one. Because even if the children were like, I'm scared. I don't want my mommy to die. And if she were to be like, well, if it happens, then you guys can come live with me and I'll make you cookies every day. You know what I'm saying? We all know you don't do that. But I'm saying even if grandma said something like that, that is still messed up. You should be saying to the children, it's going to be okay. Your mom will be okay.

Calm down. We'll see her soon. That's how you should be comforting them. You are a liability. You're concerning. You're scary. And I would absolutely want no contact as well. Absolutely. Did you guys see that video that's going around of some like guy street interviewing someone and they were like, tell us something that like no one knows about you or tell us something your parents don't know, blah, blah, blah, blah. This person goes on to share that they put rat poison in condiment bottles at restaurants.

God. Like there are some sick, deranged fucking people out there. That's messed up. So if you ever go to eat and you're uncomfortable using the shared bottles, ask for like packets. Every restaurant has them because they do take out orders. Holy shit. You know what I thought though? I think this every time I go into a hotel room,

When there's those communal bottles that they just unscrew the cap and refill. I always think, what if someone put Nair in here? Oh my God. What if this is the hotel that I use their shampoo and it has Nair in it and my hair falls out? Wow. I think about that every time. I'm going to like start traveling with my own shampoo and stuff. You are, okay. I just became like 20% more of just a paranoid person. That's what happens in my head every day. Paranoia. Scared.

I catastrophize a lot. Okay. I just need a second. But like with this story, just the complete lack of care for someone who is important enough to your partner to be their partner. It's sick. She wants to replace her. It's like literally you just like, yeah, it's cool if she dies. There's zero care. There's zero. Wow. Yeah.

I have more care for someone who's wronged me in life than she does for someone that's the wife of her son. Well, what's sad, too, is she was like, I thought we were close. To who? She thought her and her mother-in-law had a great relationship, and she thought they were close. That freaks me out. It's like, you can't trust...

Someone who apparently loves you. Yeah. See, this is getting back to like that Austin land shit where I was going to say this at one of the live shows. I'm confused by your reference of Austin land. It's when they go into the. They just mind fuck you to where you just, you can't believe or trust anything. It's the medieval times, right? Or like not medieval. It's the book based off of whatever. Okay. Yeah. I watched that with Brian. He loved it. I was not that into it.

I thought it was going to be way... Morgan, I agree with you. It's supposed to be a rom-com. It's cute. It's way more cute than it is mind-fucking. It's creepy to think that's a rom-com. Well, and what Justin... Justin looks at Austin Land and it's like, that's a terror story. They go to this themed land and they can't tell who loves you and it's mind games. But they sign up for it. They know that they're all actors. They literally pay for it. I just think manipulation to the point of like...

where you just question everything about your life is just such a fear of mine. And she should have known better though. Austin land, right? Yeah. No, this is Justin's like biggest fear in reality. Just like, I mean, at the end of the day, the safest thing you can ever do is just only trust yourself.

I was going to say, I was going to finish your sentence as a joke, thinking that's not what you were going to say. I thought I was going to finish your sentence and say, is trust no one. Someone fools you? Oh, well, it's fine because I only trust. What about me? That's why relationships are scary because you're vulnerable. What about Lauren? You're not in a relationship. That's why friendships are scary because you're vulnerable. It's a very nice. Anyone can just, just like fuck you up in a second.

It was very sweet way of him saying, yes, you guys included. Yeah.

Trust yourself. Okay, so top comment on this post. She traumatized your child. It was horror for... Horror-foring. It was horror-foring. Horror-foring. It was horrifying for your daughter to hear that. Bad enough her mom was in the hospital after her car accident. As a young child, she likely had a whole lot of frightening scenarios going through her head. Unable to properly process that, your daughter needed assurance and positivity. Not what that disgusting Herodin said.

Mother-in-law did mean it. You don't blurt something like that out out of a misunderstanding or as a joke. That whole hysterical outburst she put on in front of you, that was bullshit. Manipulative bullshit. Because she got caught. And it seems to have worked on your husband because she's trained...

brainwashed him that way. Stand your ground. She needs at very least a good long time out. Do not let your husband or anyone sweep this under the rug because doing that would make everyone think it's perfectly okay for mother-in-law to hope you died. Yeah. For your daughters to lose their mom

That's sickening. Sick. I'd make that time out at least six months. Heck, make it for the rest of the year. So she loses out on the big holidays at the very least. What a vile fucking cow.

It's not possible to sweep this under the rug. No. This and that saying do not go together. I would feel so icky. Like, I don't even, even after a year, I would just feel icky. Yeah. Well, anyone that wishes you would just be fine with you being dead. Like... It's very strange. Let alone a relative like this. Very strange. Well, guess what, guys? We have an update? We have an update. Whoa.

I feel like that's like the mail or what is it in Blue's Clues? Mail time, mail time. You know what I'm talking about? I just have crazy images in my head right now. Like I have the mother-in-law like with the scream mask, with the knife, like tapping on the glass. Like,

That's dark and scary. People are fucking crazy. They are. Like you push someone like this that's already crazy enough to say, yeah, I kind of wished you were dead. We don't have curtains on our windows yet either. And when we have the lights on at nighttime, someone could be plotting our demise. It's just a light metal tap on glass. Or the phone call. I know what you did last summer. Did you guys ever, did Sarah ever tell you guys about the guy that they called the like jizzler or something in her room?

In her college? No. The what? Yeah, he would go up to like sorority houses and just houses in general. And he and they'd have like a window that was open or like a big door, a sliding door or something. And when they'd be watching TV, he would touch himself until he all over the window. Yeah. Yeah.

That's really gross. Yeah. Very disturbing. But Sarah had that happen at one of their, like at their sorority house. Oh, Ohio state. Stay safe out there guys. Okay. Update now. While you guys were right, I decided to talk to my husband and asked if he's upset that I decided that me and the girls go no contact with mother-in-law. He said he wasn't.

Oh, shit. Aww.

Oh, baby. My husband and I agreed that going no contact with mother-in-law is the best thing for our family. Our daughter's birthday is coming up and we have yet to tell mother-in-law she's no longer invited. Not looking forward to that. But that's the update. Thanks everyone for the lovely comments and support. I appreciate it. Doesn't mother-in-law know she's not invited? Right. She probably doesn't, honestly. But that's the last place she should be.

Isn't it interesting when people do shit like this? I mean, she loved the daughters so much that she liked the idea of being able to raise them herself. Yet, what does she do? She gets herself kicked out from having a relationship with them at all. You idiot. Just like, stop. It's like that one thing when you like hold something you love too tight, you kill them or you smother them. It's the sand analogy. Like if you hold sand in your hand delicately...

It stays there. If you squeeze it, it goes through your fingers and falls out. Yeah. Yeah. I guess when during the initial story, I was kind of building up this idea in my head that she just had such a hatred for her daughter-in-law. But now I'm kind of thinking that it was probably the fact of the situation where she is in the hospital. She's been in a car crash and they don't really know the state of her.

And then it dawns on this crazy woman. This is the perfect scenario for me. That, wait a minute. There's my chance. Instead of it like being, oh, I've always wished you were dead. Yeah. Which it's not far off. It was a moment of opportunity. I agree. But it's not far off at the same time because of the lack of care. Yeah. Psychopath behavior. It doesn't sound like a moment of like,

hatred towards her. It sounds like an obsession towards the children instead, specifically knowing that she also made her son feel rejected growing up because of the fact that that's really sad. Yeah. I've always wanted a daughter. I've always wanted a daughter. I've always wanted a daughter. Ignore the child you do have. Yeah. So it's been time to, to, to go no contact for a while now. And this was the telltale sign. Yeah. We have one final update. I didn't know this existed. Um,

Just clicked on OP's account overview to see if there's like comments from OP. She came to the birthday. Update number three. I didn't think I would be posting here again and thought my last date would be my last. But here we are. Mother-in-law has been arrested. My husband's cousin found my post and knew it was me. And she reported it straight to mother-in-law. Yeah, we know it was you who told her, Christina. Yeah.

Margaret told us all about it when she came over and screaming that we can't keep her daughters from her. Stop. She didn't even hesitate to drop your name and throw you under the bus. So much for loyalty, huh?

You are not welcome in home anymore and you are officially removed from Sam's birthday list and our lives. How about you show the whole family this post so they can see how two-faced you are? To the Reddit community, sorry about that, but mother-in-law has been arrested. She came to our house screaming we can't keep her daughters from her. Psycho. Husband tried to calm her down and get her to leave. She wouldn't and attacked him.

Yeah. Oh, no. Oh, no.

My six-year-old was hysterical about granny being taken away. This is all just a big mess. Wow. Fuck you, granny. Therapy. Time for therapy. Wow. That poor little baby. Truly. Well, the thing is, is like, obviously at our age, this is all very traumatizing, but we can actually think through it more than you can at that age. At that age. So you...

Like therapy is essential so that this doesn't cause as big of an effect as it probably will if she doesn't. It's a lot of trauma for a little one. And trauma changes your brain. And I don't feel bad for the mother-in-law. It's just really sad. It's just really sad to see someone who is a family member go to such lengths because they are so just affected by whatever and whatever story they have in their head. But yeah.

It's just... It just makes you sad. It's not like... I don't feel like... I mean, it's kind of... It's also kind of funny she went to jail, but... So deserved. It's just... It's not like at the end of the story, I don't feel like...

Like a big win. It just all feels so sad. I'm going to be honest, though. I actually think it's good that this happened because restraint orders can be difficult to get into place. And this gives a lot of good ammo for them. Yeah, 100%. Absolutely. Which could ultimately protect them in the future. I mean, who knows what, you know, you were making comments, Justin, like...

With the scream mask, I don't think it would actually be that crazy. But like it is. There's a reason for them to be afraid of her. And so justified this reaction was able to get her name on a list where it will probably be easier to get a restraining order if something like this happens again. Absolutely. Yeah.

And keep them safe. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if she tries to steal the kids. That's what I was saying. I literally said I would be scared to go to her house and eat her food. I would be scared she wasn't going to come and kidnap them. The minute that she said she thought of them as more of her daughters than her granddaughters, that's when I go red alert. You're not safe. You've proven yourself to be unhinged.

untrustworthy, and a volatile, dangerous person. I think it's incredibly disrespectful. That alone, even if that was the story. Because you're invalidating my bond with my ex. That could be the story. That could be the story on its own. Just like her calling them daughters in general is just enough to be absolutely not okay. I know. It's kind of weird. And like, I think there's like, you can obviously tell with certain people when they mean it in a cute way. Like, uh,

where people are like oh this is my granddaughter these are my babies my babies versus like or like or like these are like my second daughters or something like that you know like jerry says that with everyone yeah yeah like but it's just like you can tell when people are like oh these are my little babies these are my you know my grandbabies versus these are my little babies they're they're basically mine saying i don't know just saying daughters in general when it when you're

when you're clearly the grandparent. Yeah. They're your granddaughters. That's just, that to me is just weird. Yeah. I think it makes more sense if someone says it because they're like the fun friend. I'm the fun aunt. I'm the fun, like not an actual aunt, but actually just a friend. And then they say, these are like my daughters, you know, but to actually be a grandmother and have granddaughters and just be like, actually, I'm going to put myself in a

slide right in there and it's yeah it's so strange it's not it's not right no that's all i got for this episode not a good ending oh well we're having the episodes i leave just feeling just sick we're not done though we're heading over to patreon so if you need a palate cleanser there's some on there if you need another crazy story we're heading into it

But I just wanted to give a shout out to Texas and everyone that encouraged me to go to Bucky's. Look at my shirt, y'all. Y'all? Bucky's World Tour. But thank you, everyone who listens to the episode, supports the show.

comes out to our live shows. It means so much. And I love my presence. But also, if you come to a show, don't feel you need to bring anything. We fly. Especially not big things. It's tough packing big things on the way home. Big, fragile things. Yeah. If you want to show how much you love all of us, bring...

cards bring you know me justin lauren a card or dad father knows a card um the cards we love it's just amazing to see how the show has impacted all of you and it's it's really appreciated i'm trying to save cards for when i'm having really tough days stressful weeks i'm going to open like a card when i need like a pick me up because the ones i've read they're just incredible well and

The thing is, we did appreciate the big, fragile things. Oh, my gosh. Someone gave me a wishing well that their blind father made. Just beautiful. We did get the big, fragile things home safe. Yes. Everything's made at home. The terrarium that someone gifted us. Yes. Amazing. And we took...

great care and put a lot of effort into it. But we're so excited to keep seeing all of you guys at the shows and it's just it's going to be a really really good time especially Chicago. We've got a lot of friends in Chicago that we're going to bring out so it's going to be good. On stage? Yeah. Nice. Someone that's been in past episodes is coming on. Jordan. Yeah.

So it'll be good. But thank you guys and have a great time with the rest of your cleaning or driving or wherever you're listening. A lot of people at work. A lot of people at work. My work crew, my workout crew, my gym buddies. But until next time. Until next time. Until next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.