124: Deep Rooted Problems..
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Visit Safeway.com for more details. Just a reminder to subscribe. Love y'all. Bye. Enjoy the show. Okay. Okay.

Here we go. Here we go. We should probably introduce you because it's been so long. People are going to be like, I don't even know who that is. I know. Is this going to come out next week? Yeah. Okay. So it'll be like two months exactly, I think. Oh my God. Yeah. That's really bad. Where have I been? I don't know, dude. I've been trying to get you here. Have you though? I really have. It's been a mess. Hi guys. Hi.

Welcome back. I'm Morgan. That was so cute. You were trying not to cut me off, so you just froze. Oh, we're struggling. Oh, we had the best time yesterday. We had such a good night. It was amazing. You didn't say your name, though. Oh, this is Lauren. I'm Lauren. There we go. Hello, everybody. But last night, yeah, it was amazing. It was the best. We had like a little barbecue at Justin's and we were like,

It was meant to be, like, four or six people. I don't know. Like, a smaller group. And it ended up being, like, close to 20. Yeah. But it was so cool. There was, like, a guy named Shajid there that, like, he works for NASA. There just was so many amazing people that we, like, got to meet and...

We invited some girls that I met through like podcasting in a sense. And then I invited them to my birthday. My birthday. Birthday. When I burst it out of my mama's vagina. Here we go. This is how this episode is going to go.

But I invited them to my birthday and that's like the first time I really hung out with them. So that was back in March. And now we've like gone to brunch and we've like they came to the barbecue. But it's like hard making friends as a 29, like older, late 20s woman, it feels like. So when people show up, it's just like it's amazing. There's like no better feeling than like someone showing up when you invite them and like

Like girls actively trying to make new friends when you're trying to make new friends and you just like it just lines up so well. They were absolutely awesome too. Steph and Allie. Apparently they were at Morgan's birthday party but I don't know I guess I was mingling on the other side of the room because I didn't remember meeting them and they didn't remember meeting me. But we had the best time with them last night. Absolutely loved it. What do you even call the voices that they were using? It was like...

It's from the movie. They sounded like Olaf. Or not Olaf, sorry. They sounded like that guy in Frozen who's like, Yoo-hoo, big summer blowout. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. It's like, I don't know, like a...

What's this like Switzerland accent? Like, is that it? I don't know. Swiss like you. Yeah. But it's based off of a character. It's from the movie. Just go with it with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. Nick Swartzen. Okay. And he plays this like Dolph the sheep shipper. Yeah. Yes. So they were doing a bit. I didn't even know what they were doing. I couldn't stop laughing though. It was amazing. It was amazing.

So, yeah, we had a good time. And I hope all of you out there are having a great time, whatever time it is for you. Yes, we love when people have times. These people in the stories we're going to read today are not having good times. Oh, no.

Yeah. We're getting back to our bread and butter, you know, back to the basics a little bit. Just some deep rooted problems that are very plausible problems. I think I've been scaring people lately with a lot of poop and incest. Yeah, I've heard. Yeah, I felt bad after. I'm like, oh my God, people probably think I'm un-

hinged but I just love to shock people yeah and so I well also some people have like a really really like bad like they I can listen to stories that are like

gross about poop and be able to like eat at the same time like I've told you this it doesn't unless I'm seeing it and smelling it whatever it doesn't affect me the stories I'm the same way yeah so but I understand because if you were talking about stories with like some type of surgery or something like that would make me cringe so I get how there's some people that are just like can't do it but like yeah

No, it's wild. And I'm all good. We're not going to talk about poop for the next couple episodes. So no worries. But yeah, let's get into these deep-rooted problems. There's some intense ones. Okay. Okay, let's dive in. And like deep-rooted problems, it doesn't mean it's like

like, you know how people say like, oh, it's not that deep, bro. I guess like some of them might be even like, is it that deep? Is it a deep rooted problem? Or is this person just being like, just goofy? Yeah. You guys, you guys will all tell me. I actually, um, so I started going to this therapist. It's only been three times. And something that she said to me

And I was like, huh, that makes sense. Because we were talking about just my upbringing and everything in my life. And something that she said to me that kind of stuck out to me, she was like, no reaction is random. Like it all stems from somewhere. Yeah, it all stems from something. Like you feel really uncomfortable about something to do with money. Like it stems from something. Do you know what I mean? Yep. So deep rooted or not, like all of whatever you're about to tell me, it all has a...

It's not random. Okay, I like that. Well, we'll start with this one then. It is coming from Am I the Asshole? It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Fiance My Daughter Has to Be in Our Wedding?

I would say absolutely not. I, 45 male, have a daughter, P, from a previous relationship. I divorced my ex-wife on good terms, and we share 50-50 custody of P. She is now 11. After I divorced my ex-wife, I met my now-fiancee, S. S and my daughter get along very well. After five years in my relationship with S, I proposed.

S was super excited and wanted to start planning right away. She looked at venues and started asking her friends to be her bridesmaids. She then told me she wanted her niece to be a flower girl, which I had no problem with, but I said I also wanted P to be a flower girl. S looked at me funny and then said that she didn't think P would fit the part.

I got angry and told S that my daughter would be in our wedding. S started to become upset and said that the girls in the wedding were up to her and P wouldn't be one of them.

I told S that if P wasn't in the wedding, there might not be a wedding. Good for him. I stormed out and took P to get ice cream. P knows we are getting married and told me she thinks that she will look pretty in whatever dress S decides she should wear. And this broke my heart. I decided to text S. I told her I would be staying at a friend's to think this over. My mother-in-law texted me saying that I'm overreacting and that my daughter doesn't have to be in my wedding. And I was an ass for saying that I would cancel. So I told her I would be staying at a friend's

So, did I take it too far saying I will cancel? Am I overreacting or just being a good dad? Did he say mother-in-law texted him that? Yeah. What is wrong with them? What? What are we missing here? That is so fucked. This little girl's 11. What the hell? She wouldn't fit the part? What does that even mean? Okay, bitch. This reminds me... Okay, given I'm like...

with Taylor coming out with her new music but I kind of like reminded me of that one wedding song you know what she's talking about she's like they'll have their this is stupid anyway move on what are you talking about I just realized it's really dumb that I'm like referring to a Taylor Swift song about this horrible story but yeah anyway a lot of people will appreciate it it's literally the speak now song do you know what I'm talking about yeah

When she's, she's the Speak Now song. No. The album is called Speak Now. No, I know. The song is Speak Now. No one knows that song. I don't. You know, which I always thought it was interesting she made the album that song because like no one knows that one. No, the only one that's coming to my head right now, my brain's a little mush, but it's like Romeo save me. No, that's not it. But yeah, that's only like wedding song.

white dress like that's what's popping in my head but no but anyway moral of the story is that it just reminds me of the most uptight like prissy little like i just can't imagine going through with a wedding like that with that whole family not just the wife being ridiculous but like the mother-in-law yeah or the fiance yeah that's actually crazy i just don't get why you would want to exclude your partner's daughter yeah you're marrying him you're going to be his wife and

Huge red flag. Immediately call it off. Yeah. Like, what is going to happen down the road with this little girl? How is she going to be treated if she's not even welcome in the wedding, which is literally them uniting these two families. Yeah. And oh, sorry, you're not in the wedding because we don't want you in our family. That's like the message you're sending. What is her life going to look like? No, it's fucked immediately run. Like, I don't even have any advice for this because that is just disgusting.

That's awful. Like, if you are too jealous that your partner had, you know, children before you, a wife before you, whatever, then like you should find somebody who didn't. Yeah, I do not need to like, like go in and ruin other people's lives like that little girl. Talk about childhood trauma.

What do you mean? Like if her dad like followed through with that, like how awful would she feel? Terrible. So we do have an update on this one. Okay. But I'll read the top comment first.

Big red box, lots of awards. This is a big red flag. If she doesn't want to include her stepdaughter in her wedding, then I don't expect she will include your daughter in her life. Yeah, how could you? Which is like what we were saying. Like, I had a, my bio dad got married when I was like, I was really little. I was probably like five, maybe.

six maybe because me and my younger sister have eight years between us. So they were married for like two years, I think before they had her. So I was like five or six when they got married and she didn't really like me, but I was still the flower girl. Yeah. Like she didn't even like me and I was the flower girl. Wild. Also what's really scary about this. It's like, he even says like S and my daughter get along very well.

Which is like, is that an act then? Literally. Do you even like this little girl? Because you're not having her be a flower girl. I'm having like all the movies go into mind right now. Like thinking about Parent Trap and when she's like, oh, so cute to like the daughter right in front of him and then turns around and is like, listen here, you little brat. I'm going to send you off to boarding school the minute I say I do. Yeah, well, and I was like, okay, maybe Eleven is like getting to like

You know, like, okay, 13-year-old, I would be like, okay, maybe a 13-year-old junior bridesmaid. I literally just had to Google what an 11-year-old girl looks like because, like, I don't know what... Like, you know when you, like, someone holds up a baby and they're like...

look at my baby. And I'm like, really cute. How old? And I try to guess in my head. I am always way off. Like someone the other day was like, I was like, damn, that's a big baby. Like in my head, I said that not to the lady, but I was like, oh my God, like little one too. And she's like, no, only like 16 months. And I'm like, damn, that's a big baby.

I mean, I can't tell ages. So I had to Google. But from 11 to 13, I mean, who cares, honestly, at that point? Because even if my mom got remarried today, if I wanted to be a flower girl, she'd be like, you're going to be a flower girl then. Yeah.

A lot of people, remember we had a story where the, like, someone asked their friend, like a 30-year-old woman, to be their flower girl? No, I don't think that was me. Maybe it was Alejandra. And I was like, dude, I wouldn't do it. If you asked me to be your flower girl, I'd be pissed. You'd be pissed at me? Yeah, because I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid. I know.

I know, but... I don't want to be a flower girl. I want the important, more important job. If you asked me to be a flower girl, I would actually... We've already discussed this. Die laughing. You're co-maid of honor. I know. So you don't have all the responsibility and stress.

Um, no, but I just don't, I don't get this. I feel like even if she like, cause I'm pulling out the comment, like she doesn't fit the part and I'm like, well, why doesn't she fit the part? Do you feel she's too old and you want like a really young little flower girl? Like, yeah. What, what does that mean? Even if she just wanted to have one flower girl, let's say just specifically because she's, you know, anal about like the order of everything. Like you said, it's like still have her be a junior.

bridesmaid or like some type of like be a part of the wedding you know it's that's family that's really really close family like someone who's so incredibly important to the person you're marrying how could you try to be this like dictator and just be like nah get out wild i don't i'm really perplexed by this one but let's get to the update yes please hey reddit thanks everyone for all the kind words and suggestions to answer a few questions my daughter is not disabled chubby or having an awkward phase

I did ask if P could be a groomsman. S immediately shot me down. S is 39. She is the same race as my daughter. This is her first marriage. I tried to answer as many comments as possible. Wait, sorry. Asked who to be a groomsman? His daughter. Because he's like, well, if you don't want her as a flower girl. Got it. Let me put her on my side. Got it. Okay. Easy. Yeah, there you go. It's good.

I came home to talk to S today. When I pulled in our driveway, my mother-in-law was there sitting in her car. I got out and went inside trying to avoid talking to mother-in-law. S was sitting at the kitchen table and I joined her. She sat in silence. So I asked the first question, why does P not fit the part? And why don't you want her in the wedding at all? Her answer full on shocked me.

She quietly said, I was hoping that after the wedding, you could become a holiday visit only dad. I didn't want her in the wedding, so she wouldn't be in the photos around the house since she wasn't going to be around much. What? I literally just got full body chills. Oh my God. Isn't it crazy how you can think you know someone and then you fucking don't? Wow. I literally have the chills. Look at my arm. I'm like,

I why why are you so evil? I'm just so happy that she yeah, I'm just so happy she outed herself Like i'm not even i'm not even mad. I'm happy because this is this is a great ending. Yeah, it's a great story Wow, I kept my cool calmly took her hand and pulled my engagement ring off Her eyes started to tear up and she said we shouldn't end the marriage over this and that she can change

Done. Immediately. Wild.

How did she how like did she concoct that in her brain? Like what made her think that that would be a thing? And also you kind of wonder to like how she was raised if her mom is like behind her being like, yeah, this makes sense. How does that fucking make sense? Like imagine if they had kids together and then they got divorced and then his new wife was like have nothing to do with your children. Yeah.

Or imagine, like, if someone said that to her. If she had children, he got, like, you know what I mean? She got remarried, and then her new husband was like, nope, can't see your children anymore. Like, that is the most psychotic thought of all time. Like, it's just unbelievable. It's really disgusting. Uh-huh. He goes on to end it, I'm sitting on my couch just in shock. Our honeymoon was supposed to be in Hawaii. Looks like me and P will be going instead. I will update again if anything happens. Aw.

I, yeah, top comment. Holy shit. First things first. You are amazing, father. Yeah. Good on you for having peas back. Yeah. Because we have seen posts that have not gone this way. We have so many stories actually from our listeners on Father Knows Something, the other podcast we have. And there's so many listeners that are like, my dad got remarried and my stepmom wanted nothing to do with us. She's the worst person. We stopped seeing my dad. Yep.

And that shouldn't happen. No. Those are your children. It is shocking, like, how that this isn't just, like, a no-brainer for everybody, what this guy did. Because it is... It does happen. And there are a lot of weak people out there, and that's what I think of them as weak. Like, because they do want a relationship with their children, but...

They would rather just be controlled by their partner because whatever. I don't know. They just don't think that they're good enough. They don't I don't know what they think. But like it's it's weak people.

I wonder like where that stems from, right? Where it's like you kind of said at the beginning where you're like every reaction comes from like it's not random. Yeah, it's not random. I love that. And I just wonder where that comes from. And I think you do make a good point about her mom being there like kind of champion this. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're crazy. You're an asshole. You're being unreasonable. And it's like it.

I wonder. I just, I'm so curious. And it's like, is she an only child? And like, she's threatened, like threatened by that closeness that he has with his daughter that he almost looks at. She looks at the little girl as like a threat. Right. Like she's going to interject and not make your relationship as strong. Like just maybe like really insecure attachment. Yeah, for sure. I just, wow. Yeah.

There's a lot of comments from OP, so I'll be sure to post the link for this one on the YouTube description. But he does reply quite a bit. And someone's just like, I would immediately replace the locks. I called a guy. He's coming Tuesday. Hopefully someone goes. Hopefully he lets his first wife know ASAP because their daughter is going to seek answers from her mother as well as dad.

They sound like they co-parent well, so they really need to make sure they agree on how they discuss this with the 11-year-old. And OP goes, my ex-wife knows about the situation because I had to have pee stay at her house while I figure all of this out. So that's great. Yeah. Someone's like, wow, holy shit. She's been faking this whole time. Wild. Which that's what really scares me. That level of like,

five-year relationship and you despise this little girl, but you're actually pretending. Also, I think people need a reminder that everything doesn't just change because you got married, right?

Do you know what I mean? I feel like people have in their head that like once you get married, that like everything is going to change. No, unless you and your partner have a discussion of things that you want to do, goals you want, and you plan them out together. That's when change happens. You don't just get married and then everything you made up in your head happens. Like now she's like, oh, it's just me and him. Now we get to start a brand new family all by ourselves, have no one else involved. Like, why did you make that up in your head for five years?

It's crazy. OP responds back to that one. He's like, I know, right? I wish I would have caught it sooner. I never truly noticed a negative thing. P has never said anything negative about S and asked her mom earlier today when she will get to see her again. So like this little girl even felt like she liked her. Yeah. This is nuts. That's that is another level of unhinged. I wonder if it's just like it's too hard to say because I'm like,

Maybe she was just going through like a mental break. Like she all of a sudden was just feeling panicked and feeling so insecure that she didn't know how to like compartmentalize her feelings. And she lashed out and acted like ridiculous. And she would be able to actually get help and come back around. But the fact that she has her mom behind her being like, me, me, me. It like makes it hard to think that it's just like a moment of like, you know, flooded insecurity and flooded feelings and not knowing how to channel them. Yeah. It feels like it's way more premeditated. This does feel premeditated because it's like...

I don't know even if she was flustered and having just a bad reaction. I don't know if a sane person, their first reaction would be to jump like, hey, I don't want your daughter around. Let's chip her off. Yeah. That's totally. Even when you're upset. Yeah. You think you'd lash out and be like, I don't really want P to affect us. I just kind of want to be selfish and spend more time with you. Right. I don't know. But to be like, I plan only holiday visits. Yeah.

Well, and the pictures. That's where you know it was so premeditated. Yeah, exactly. Because she didn't want the little girl in pictures around the house. Yeah. Because if people come over and ask, oh my God, how's your daughter? Who's this little girl? She's going to be embarrassed. It's like, God. And I can get how people can feel very insecure about someone having a family before them and them not having a family before that person. Don't date people with kids. But then don't date them. You don't date... And that's like...

Like, I know people that are, like, married now. Like, a handful of people that are married now to, like, a guy who has kids. Yeah. And they welcome those kids in, like, as if they're their own. When those kids are there, like, they love them with all their heart. Yeah. They consider them a part of their family. Alejandra's cousin is, like, the perfect example. Yep. She...

married a guy recently and they're expecting a little one now. But he had three kids before her. And like they're all a family. Yeah. Yeah. Like that has them has to be if you are going to date somebody who has children. That's like one thing I don't get. Like

I know it's really hard to get divorced, especially if there's cheating involved. There's like a lot of emotions with that. Like it's, it sucks. Like, right. It's a very big, bad breakup. But at the same time, I don't know why people can't put their shit aside and just co-parent amicably. Yeah. Like at least for your kids. Yeah. Be amicable.

kind in front of your kids, especially like there shouldn't be screaming matches. There shouldn't be fighting. I just saw the most amazing video on TikTok of this couple and I'd never seen their videos before. I don't, I don't know if they have a big following, but they are getting divorced or got divorced. And the guy was still coming over to like have a family barbecue in the backyard. Yeah. And like, they're not, they're not together. Like they're

just co-parenting very well and it's like why can't you do that for your kids right

Yeah, my my childhood best friend, her parents got divorced and he ended up buying a house like like next door, like not right next door, but down the street, down the street. Yeah. And so it was really amazing for the kids because they could just literally ride their bike. Like, yeah, they'd be like, oh, I forgot something at dad's. I'll be right back. You know what I mean? And then and then the parents got along so well, too, that they could just like knock on the door and be like, hey, could I have some sugar?

Yeah. No, it was so nice. Well, and Justin and I were talking about that because it's like you never plan for divorce, but like you just like you kind of want like all your T's crossed, eyes dotted, like that kind of thing. And like we were just talking about like because his parents were divorced and it wasn't like there was a lot there. But we were just kind of talking like, yeah, well, I think like if we had kids and we got divorced, I don't think we would ever be divorced.

bad to each other yeah like I could see us being the like hey we're having one Christmas right Justin brings his new wife or girlfriend or whatever I have my new partner and like we all come together like that is that is like beautiful that's like what I will have yeah if like anything we don't work out things we grow apart whatever it is like that is what I will have well it's funny you say that too about not planning for divorce because at this point in time I mean we're all very I

educated on the fact that divorce happens very, very often. It's not this like a strange concept anymore. And so it's I actually do think about that when I'm when I'm dating. I think about how this person be as a partner, how they be as a husband, how they be as a parent, how they be

if I got divorced with them? How would they be if they were a co-parent to me? And I think about those things now because I'm like, that's the reality is that if that does happen, you want someone that you can rely on even if things go bad. That you know that like they're still not going to make your life hell. They're still going to be like very civil. They still respect you as a person even if that means that they can't love you in a romantic relationship. And that like...

That's so important. And that's, yes. Yes. I think that's like another reason, like be very selective who you have kids with. Oh yeah. Wait. And that goes every way. Like if you're the sperm donor, the egg donor, whatever that looks like, like be so selective who you have kids with because even if you can have a good co-parenting situation sometimes, just yeah. Yeah.

So I wanted to I was talking to my friend about this and I was talking about how like whenever I question if I want kids, it lets a releases like so much freedom when I think like it's OK if I don't have them. Because it's like it at like our age, it's really easy to get in the mindset where it's just like I have to make this work.

Because I'm, you know, clock is ticking. I want children so badly and I want to have them with a partner, blah, blah, blah. And so whenever I feel for a second, like, well, maybe I don't know if I like need kids. Then it's this like, like, like weight lifted off my shoulder, like a freedom. Like we were talking about this the other day, too, like thinking about having kids just like gives you anxiety or something. Yeah. And but but anyway, my friend responded and she's like,

Dude, me and my husband were just talking about how a timeline to have kids causes so many incompatible relationships Like there's so many better matches for people, but they're scared And if I can say anything because she just had a kid if I can say anything about having a kid It needs to be the right person because it has the lowest of lows I honestly think people are better off doing it alone rather than with the wrong person because you are so vulnerable

It's all Larissa. Yeah. Little Larissa. Yeah, no, that is so, so true. And like, I look at what my mom went through because like me and my brothers have the same mom and we all have different dads. And like me and my older brother, Matt, like our dads were not great, were not involved, like had alcohol issues. And my mom basically did do it alone. Like

It sucks. Yeah. Like, it doesn't have to be that way. And it's not to say, like, single mom, like, you're still a happy, healthy, loved kid. Like, it is better to be alone, essentially, than with the wrong person. Right.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. Trigger warning on this one, you guys. It does contain talks of miscarriage and pregnancy loss. Speaking of babies and pregnancy, perfect time for this next one. Cool. I thought you were about to make an announcement. No, no. I'm going to be so pumped when you get pregnant.

I'm like, wait, I got to check my little app. I'm like, what do I... Imagine if you were pregnant right now. And I just said that. As I'm drinking a White Claw.

Honestly, as long as it's like within the first, you know, six weeks, I'm pretty sure drinking is fine. I don't. Yeah. I mean, so many people find out that. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying like recommend it or like prescribing that, but I'm just saying like don't drink if you're pregnant. I know. I know people who have gotten pregnant and they had no idea. And they were like partying and everything. Oh, yeah. You hear that all the time. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

So for this next one, it is two days old coming from Suspicious Hair. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Making a Joke When My Friend Told Me She Was Pregnant?

My friend Alice, 32 female, and her husband have been trying for a baby for about three years. I, 29 female, am child-free, but this has never caused a problem in my relationship with Alice. We would often joke about this difference, with me telling her stuff like she'll miss all the disposable income when she has kids, and her comparing my dog to a human kid. Neither of us got offended with this joking, and it was all in good fun.

On Friday, Alice and a couple of other friends and I went out to lunch, and Alice told us that she was three months pregnant. I jokingly said, quote, "'I'm so sorry. Let me know if you need a ride to the clinic.'"

Alice flipped out and called me an insensitive bitch. I told her that I was joking, but she wouldn't hear it and she ended up leaving. She hasn't responded to my texts and calls ever since. Our other friends are staying out of it and don't want to give their opinions. I understand that my comment would come off as rude if I said it to a stranger, but Alice knows me and this is how we joke with each other. Am I the asshole?

I mean, yeah, you are. Dude, read the fucking room. But like, I also don't, like she said, I don't think it's that deep. Like, I think it's something that should be able to be recovered from. But I think she also needs to, like,

realized that that was wrong to say. Do you know what I mean? It sounds like right now she's in the stage where she's like, I didn't do anything wrong. Defense. It's defensive. And it's just like, yeah, we get that you guys had a really funny sense of humor. But like now this is serious. She has a child that she's protecting. That's her goal right now. That's her main purpose right now is protecting this child. So, yes, to make that joke was insensitive and you should apologize. And I'm sure your friendship can recover. Yeah.

Yeah. I also think like it sounds like this person thinks like, oh, it's like I'm child free. She wants kids like it's never caused issues. But it almost sounds like she's not truly respecting what her friend wants. Yeah. Like making comments, even like you're going to miss all your disposable income when you have kids.

True. She called that a joke. Yeah, maybe she didn't even think it was funny the entire time. I'm like, I don't think that's even... How is that funny? Right. And also, why is my income any of your concern? Right. I'm saying that, like, she made it seem like her friend thought it was really funny and built off of it. But maybe she actually was just, like, trying to, like, ignore it and just brush it off by, like, meeting it with another, like...

humorous thing. Well, and I also think too, like she's been trying. Yeah. Actively trying to get pregnant. I was just thinking about that too. For three years. Yeah, that is fucked. Three years is

is a long time. Yeah, that is fucked. Like I did my whole grad program in three years and that felt never ending. So to actively be trying for a baby for three years and every month you get so excited and then you just like, you bring your closest people together and you're sitting at this table and after three long, hard fought years of sex,

Ovulation, pee strips, pregnancy tests, being let down. You finally get your moment to say, I'm actually pregnant. Three months. I'm out of the danger zone. God, you're so right. And you just like, you expect your closest people to be excited and like, yeah.

And then later you're met with, hey, do you want to ride to the clinic? Yeah, that's actually so fucked. You're so right. This is a very wanted. Yeah. Like, like prayed for baby. And you want to ride to the clinic. Let me know when you want to ride. What the fuck? Yeah. I literally just got the chills again. I'm like, why are people so fucked? I

I know. And I was at first thinking, you know, like, if they just always make jokes like that, then she, you know, she fucked up. Like, she thought that was just, like, a part of their relationship, their humor. But, like, now, like, whenever I remember the three-year part, I'm like, that is so horrible. Like, that detail alone, knowing that about your friend and then saying that, like... And...

on top of it, like she probably, like she told them she waited three months to tell them she probably was really scared. So excited and so scared. Like, you know what I mean? Like so excited when she hit three months mark that she's like, we're good. We're good to go. I can tell everyone now I'm so excited. Well, and you don't even know what she's gone through in those three years. Yeah. If she's had miscarriages, if there's been, you know, pregnancy losses, um,

So it's like it to be met with that. Now I feel like crying. I'm so mad for her. I would have literally... And like how she handled it is probably so smart. Like remove yourself. But I would just like... I would literally...

Me and Alejandro were talking about this yesterday where it's like we think about ourselves and how we respond in situations. And, you know, have you seen that thing where it's like this guy told his wife or this wife told her husband, like, just know, like, I could be so much meaner to you. And we were like thinking about that concept. And like in this moment, I would want to be so mean. Yeah. I would just look at her and be like, OK, you can go home.

You're clearly not excited for me. You can leave. Yeah. You're not going to ruin my baby brunch. Right. Fuck you. Literally. She didn't even get a congratulations first. She literally got an, I'm so sorry. Let me know if you need a ride to the clinic. That is...

That is actually so wild. Okay, is there any updates on that? Okay, so the top comment is you're the asshole. Not everything is a joke. She tried for a baby for years and you couldn't give her a moment of earnest support and congratulations? This is exactly like people who get up and give attention-sucking, allegedly funny best man or maid of honor speeches at weddings. Or worse yet, stand up with a jokey joke. Just kidding. Not really objecting. Objection.

FYI, if she has struggled with infertility for three years and you didn't hear about this pregnancy until three months. Yeah. Oh yeah. This is what I was thinking. She's likely had miscarriages or chemical pregnancies. You didn't know about, even if that's not the case, she almost certainly spent the last couple of months scared. This pregnancy won't make it of all the jokes you could make. That was the worst one. God, that was so mean. I want to kill this person. No,

No, that's aggressive. That's too far. But they do respond. Okay. What? Okay. So someone goes...

They've been trying for three years, and your first response is to joke to her about giving her a ride to an abortion clinic? Yeah. They've been trying for three years. Yeah. This joke was insensitive, considering she may be petrified about miscarrying after trying for so long. Your jokes may have worked back then, but the circumstances have now changed. Yeah. Apologize to your friend. You're the asshole. And OP responds, she has actually had a couple of miscarriages. I didn't make that connection. Oh!

Fuck. I get it now. Wow. Wow. At least at least they get it now. Someone responds after, how did you not make that connection? Yeah. And they go, it was like two years ago. And the whole pregnancy slash kids things is so foreign to me. So I didn't really think much about it. You better beg on your knees apologizing. That's the thing right now where it's like,

be child free if you want to be child free but then don't judge people and ridicule people that want kids that's ridiculous like you're not high and mighty yeah you're like maybe maybe you're doing the planet a favor i don't fucking know but like don't fucking judge other people wow i wouldn't i don't know if i would be friends with this person after this

Especially the fact that they know I had struggled and had losses. I don't think I would be able to forgive them. Or if I did, it would be at a very arm's length relationship going forward. I agree. Moving along? Yeah, moving along. I know. I don't know. It's one of those things where it just like makes me feel...

I guess it feels a little too real, you know, like some of these stories are so like mind blowing that it's just like, wow, like this guy got his mom pregnant, like, you know, something that's so mind blowing. And a story like this just makes me like makes my stomach turn because it just hurts. And you can just imagine how she must feel that like her friend.

going through all of this and then experience it a comment like that which is meant to be a joke meant to be innocent but it like it cuts so deep you know it's just one of those like little things that just yeah i'm ready to move on i just don't get how some people think their jokes are funny it's not funny in what world would that ever be fucking funny it wouldn't it would never it

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. Okay, up next. Wow, that was a brutal one too.

Oh, let's just stay on the task of babies, shall we? We're really flowing today. It's nice. Very nice. This one is titled, I ruined my sister's gender reveal out of spite. Straight into it. My sister had been sleeping with my then boyfriend and only revealed the fact after we got engaged. So as to, quote, save me from getting married to a cheater.

And because she felt remorseful and ashamed. I broke up with him and cut off my sister, only tolerating her during family gatherings, which I rarely ever came to if I knew she was going to be there. I moved to another state for a job and to start fresh, so I've been away from home for quite a while. Months later, I was told my sister and ex-boyfriend got engaged.

Wow.

I came back recently at my mother's request since she assured me my sister wouldn't be there, only to find out she was in fact there. I managed to calm myself and pretend I was okay with everything. Deep down, I was upset. More at my mom for lying to me, though. It turns out they called me for my sister's planned gender reveal party, which I would have never attended had I known beforehand. Wow.

I never even knew she was pregnant, but I was there already, so I had to put on my fake smile. Night came, and for the first time in a long time, my sister engaged me in a conversation and apologized for everything and wanted to make up. I wanted to bite her head off and tell her to go to hell because the freaking audacity. But then she told me about the gender of her baby. She already knew.

to try to rekindle the times where we used to tell and trust each other with everything. At some point, as we were talking, I was reminded of when we used to be best friends, and honestly, I was tired of the bitterness and wanted to let bygones be bygones. I watched her plan out everything, spend a ton of money, excited and all, but just the night before the gender reveal, ex-boyfriend showed up and it took me right back to the past.

It kept playing over and over in my head how I was betrayed by them, and I got absolutely pissed at how they were happy even after what they did to me. I realized I never had the intention of forgiving them, so in an attempt to get back at them, I told everyone the gender of the baby right then and there.

One glance at her and she was on the verge of tears, staring at me with the cheating scumbag. She didn't say anything and just stormed off. It was awkward. Everybody immediately knew why I did it, so it didn't come as a surprise. Nobody said anything and we all called it a night. I'm not going to lie, it felt good seeing them distraught. It brought me a sense of comfort. All their money had gone to waste since she was upset and refused to leave her room, so the reveal never happened.

The house is quiet, but I can see the judgmental looks I'm getting from everyone. So I'm booking a flight back because there's no point in me being here anymore. I don't feel an ounce of regret. In fact, I feel peace and at ease. Good. This is an interesting one. I mean, I know it's not technically like the right thing to do, but like I good. Like I'm I don't see I don't feel regret for her either. Yeah. Fuck them. It's like. Fuck them. I think, you know, what she did was horrible.

Worse?

definitely worse. Yeah. You were having sex with your sister's boyfriend. Exactly. That's why I'm like, well, people don't get to see this really overplayed of whatever you want to call it, like show of telling your baby's gender. Don't give a fuck. Fuck you. Don't give a fuck. No. Wow. That's like the like, well, are you kidding me? Like you're going to go in your room and cry all day over it. Like what? No, you're sorry. I hate this girl. I

I just can't believe they stayed together. I can. Trash loves trash. I love that. Someone goes, honestly, this makes me laugh. Of all the people for your ex to cheat on you with, he chooses your sister. Yep. I think it's funny and they deserve it. Agreed. Yeah. Fuck him. I don't know, like,

why you would expect like things to ever go back to normal like your plain house like it wasn't just like they were dating they got engaged they were planning on spending the rest of their life together and then you told your sister yeah and what a fucking loser like the fact that he was cheating on her and then he decides to propose to her during that time and then he's like oh shit that didn't work out hey do you want to get engaged literally a couple

A couple months later, they got engaged. Oh, like, okay. Also, as the other sister, like the one that was the evil one, wouldn't you like be like, damn, like this is a pity proposal. Like, I'm second pick. No, because people like that think like, I won. I won the man. I beat my sister. That's how they think. They don't think of it like the reality that it fucking is.

Such delusion. Yep. Such delusion. I wonder if there's any other comments from OP. Wow, that one really got me jumbled. It's only four days old. It's very new. Of course, the mods remove it. The top comment, though, is they expected dot dot dot something different. That's hilarious. Literally, like if if she were.

She would have just been like, well, that was rude, but I suppose I deserve that. Yeah. Let's still do the reveal because it's fun. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, or just like, hey, fuck it.

I mean, you could be like to the sister, you could be like, hey, are we even now? Yeah. Good. Yeah. We good. But I'm going to go eat my fucking blue cake. Yeah. The fact that she's going to pity herself and cry in her room all day and then get the rest of the family to give her judgmental looks is just like, wow, I'd be over there like, cheers, man.

Literally. I know. The rest of the family sucks, too. Mm-hmm. It is funny. Someone comments down. They're like, it would have been rude for OP to do that in any other situation, but the guests were probably like, quote, well, she did steal OP's fiance, so I guess we'll just call it a night. Yeah. Like, even... Like, no one even reacted by the sounds of it. Well, she said that she felt judgmental looks, but that's about it. That could have been in her head. And that could have been just like... I feel like people could have been like, dude, what the fuck? Like, you know what I mean? Like, what?

And that, yeah, that's probably feels judgmental for sure. But, you know, I mean, I understand that it wasn't like the right thing to do and that if you were to like go and talk to a therapist about it, that's not what their recommendation would be. Yeah. But, you know, sometimes moments like this, I just I like to hear it. I can't help it. I do. Yeah. I'm happy she did it. I am too. Cool. Moving along.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash, or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo, and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. Oh, kiddo. Okay. So this next one, it's four hours old. Whoa. I don't know why I picked it. It's only got 800 upvotes, but I just really liked the title. And I'm curious. I haven't read it yet. Okay. Both blind reacting. Wow. So it's titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My 30 Female Husband, 35 Male, That I Don't Want to Sell the House to Save His Dog. Hmm.

Hello. As the title says, my husband adopted a female husky on a whim before we met. He never researched the breed or anything about dogs. He refused to spay her because as he says, she wouldn't be a real husky and would lose her personality, which we all know isn't true. She is now eight years old.

Side note, the house our family lives in is his, purchased before me, and he is currently unemployed because he lost his job in June and hasn't received government assistance yet. His credit cards are maxed out right now, and he is living off his savings. My salary covers family expenses, but nothing else. In the past year, we've spent a total of $8,000 of our emergency savings on emergency vet bills for the dog.

Wow. Wow.

He still wouldn't spay her. Three, she had a phantom pregnancy a few months ago, so another trip to the vet for tests where I finally convinced him to spay her. Four, the spaying. Five, now, three weeks after the spaying, she has a large mass on another tit. It's very bad and leaking red.

Since my husband has no job and no income, his solution to pay for the vet bills, multiple tumor removals, chemotherapy, etc. is to sell his car. I have my own that he used for work every day. And then the house that our children and I live in.

Okay. He needs my okay to sell as we are married and it is registered as a family residence. He says he refuses to let his dog die over a tumor. He has a very unhealthy attachment to his dog. She basically replaced his dad after his dad's passing eight years ago. Aww. And says she's the only thing he had after the passing. Okay.

At first I was like, okay. And now I'm like, okay. I have animals of my own and I understand not wanting to let them go and doing everything for them. But I think this is excessive. And I think everyone needs a limit where they say, I'm not going to put myself in crippling debt and be homeless for this. Yeah.

He obviously thinks I'm an asshole for not being okay with the house and car being sold and thinks I'm even more of an asshole because I financially can't and don't want to put myself in huge amounts of debt for the dog when we are already struggling on one income.

So I ask everyone, am I the asshole? No, not at all. And he needs therapy. Yes. Because that's what it is, that attachment to his dad and connected to the dog. It makes me want to cry. But he needs to get therapy through that because it's not... I mean, unfortunately, those bigger dogs, at around 10 years old, that is when it happens. And so it's just...

He has children. He needs to focus on the now. And I think that what's going on is that he feels like he couldn't save his dad and he's going to save this dog instead. You know what I mean? I feel like that's where a lot of this is coming from. You're so right. It breaks my heart, but he needs to let it go. Well, and I mean, there's so many things he could do. Is there other family members that he could maybe borrow money from?

If you put the dog into an adoption center too, like there's also a chance like those places get so much like funding from volunteers and like they have, you know, vets that are there constantly. So it's like there's always the chance that they would help that dog. He would just have to release the ownership. For sure. But there's also a lot of vets that like do give back and do pro bono stuff too. So like, you know, maybe there's options. But the thing is here,

This is like the second time this dog has had a tumor now. And this like... She mentions chemotherapy. So I'm assuming that this tumor that the dog has now is cancerous. Yeah. And I'm just wondering like...

Is there more? Yeah. Is the dog's whole body? Yeah. You know, like malignant tumors everywhere? Because at that point, you have to like also think about what am I putting my animal through? Yeah, exactly. Chemotherapy is no walk in the park. Oh, yeah. And so what is this dog's quality of life going to be? And that's kind of like why people do get to the point where they have to put their dogs down. I didn't really understand when I was younger because...

I just thought, why not let them live the longest that they possibly can? But it's like this animal is in pain, like is not wanting is, you know, you're allowing this animal to suffer. So sometimes it is the right thing to do. It just sucks. I know this was a really hard decision we had to go through last Christmas, like not this past one, but the one before. I can't believe it's already been so long. But our German Shepherd bear died.

He was 11, maybe 12. I think 11 now. And he was running outside one day, playing with the ponies, following me around. And then the next couldn't get off his bed. Was like, was like coughing up blood. Like really just.

so, so bad. Like we literally all three of us had to like pick him up. He couldn't even get himself up. And so we take him to the vet and they're like, for some reason he's like bleeding into his stomach. We don't really know what's going on. We can give him like an infusion. We'll see how it goes. So we tried it. He got a little better.

was able to get up by himself. But then, you know, three days later, it was the same thing, blood in his stomach. And it turns out he had stomach cancer. And they could have like, maybe done surgery that would have been like 10 grand or something crazy. But it might not have even worked. And it would have put him in so much pain. And so like, we made the decision, which is so hard. But we decided to like, let him go on a good day.

don't put him through all that yeah and my brother is like still like really like messed up about it he's like we should have done it you know bear would still be here but like to be an 11 year old german shepherd is like actually like it's good yeah like i literally it was so fucked though i literally think someone jinxed it

My my sister-in-law's dad came over and Bear was outside, like running around the driveway as he like got out and whatever. And he's like, wow, you guys still have Bear. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, he's doing great. Look at him. He was like literally galloping like a little German Shepherd gallop. And he looks at him. He goes, how old do German Shepherds live to? They don't live that long. Only like 10. Right.

And I'm like, I looked it up after and I was like, average German Shepherd lifespan, 9 to 13. And he's like, he literally like was like, wow, I'm surprised he's still kicking. He said something like, oh, he's going to be gone soon. And I'm like, what the fuck, dude? You don't say that to someone. Yeah. And sure enough...

I'm like, you fucking jinxed my dog, bitch. I'm sure that's not the case, but I know that. No, he's such a nice guy. Amy's dad is so, so nice. But I was like, what the hell? Why would you say that? And then, of course, like literally that week later, it literally felt like a jinx. We actually couldn't.

My mom kept saying, like, we probably are going to have to put down Oreo soon. Like, we had my—it was crazy. We got my dog when I was a baby. Like, right when I was born, they got my dog, too. And we grew up together. Like, she died when I was 18 years old. Yeah. Oh, my God. And she was, like, a mix of, like, a Sheltie, like, and a Golden Retriever. So she was, like, a pretty, like, decent-sized dog. Yeah. So 18 was actually crazy. And so for, like, a year, my mom would just be like, give Oreo.

Oreo an extra hug like we might have to put her down and so by the time she actually died like as sad as this sounds but like I was very like okay with it prepared yeah and like she we ended up not putting her down like my mom like kept thinking we should but then she couldn't get herself to she never really seemed like she was suffering she just had like some lumps on her but she was dogs get yeah she was she was fine she never looked like she was in pain so like

We ended up just keeping her until she I woke up to go to school one morning and I was in the kitchen and she was alive the night before. And then that morning, like when I saw she looked like a little bit more still and I went down and like touched her and saw that she was gone. And yeah, that's like really that's kind of traumatic.

Yeah, it's really it's hard. It's so hard with animals like when my little pony goes I'm gonna be a wreck He's like he's family. I've had him since I was like five. Mm-hmm. So it's really sad so I definitely like we get where this is going and It's hard to make this decision But you can't make your family homeless like no, where are they gonna go?

And also like, do you know how kids like exactly these kids have to go to school. They need a safe environment. Like, and do you know how hard it is to get a house? Like the average person cannot attain a home. The fact you have this home and you're unemployed, like this is just a total case of bad events. Like this is kind of like a, when it rains, it pours. And he just like really, really needs to put his family first in this moment. And it sucks. This really sucks. Yeah.

But yeah, this is definitely deep-rooted. Yeah. Deep-rooted. Does she have any updates? I'll read the top comment and then see if there's any other things. Top comment is not the asshole. Your husband doesn't realize it, but he is slowly sacrificing his family for his dog. It is not anymore the family making some sacrifices, but really sacrificing the family. Also, your husband probably needs some mental help. Yep. Yeah.

Let's see if there's any comments. Someone goes, you're the asshole for not having pet insurance, which pet insurance can be very good. You need to get it right away so they can't say, oh, no, we're not covering that. That's a pre-existing condition. Oh, wait, you can't get pet insurance later into having the pet? You can, but like, so Austin's dog, June, like she has that like funky like twitch on one arm. So if she has any health issues like with that twitch, she's like,

He got health insurance after the vet had documented that like twitchy arm. So if anything ever relates to that arm and the twitch or neuro, they're going to not pay for it because they're going to say that's a preexisting condition. Yeah. But I was talking about pet insurance because like I've heard mixed things. I've heard it doesn't pay. I've heard people love it. Yeah. So I was talking about it to him and she is like the most accident prone person.

like, gets bopped up little dog. Like, she tears her paw pads running too hard because she's a border collie. She loves the ball. She had a tooth get infected and needed to get that pulled. And the pet insurance has, like, paid for all of that. I just, I guess the reason I say, like, love and hate insurance is because it's so, it saves lives, obviously. Like, it's so important to have. It's more just, like, frustrating that

Like, why can't they still get pet insurance? Why can't they get insurance over the entire dog if he paid out of pocket for whatever went on with her foot? And then later on, if something else happens to her foot, like he is paying for insurance now. I guess I don't know how pet insurance works, but that just seems like funky to me. It is interesting. Well, no, but the insurance did pay for the foot and tooth. Oh, yeah. It just won't pay for the arm. Yeah, that's what I mean. But like, why? What do you call dogs arms?

Okay, are you saying, but if, that's what I don't understand. So if something more happens, like the leg gets even more like messed up, but now he has insurance and they won't cover it anymore. I don't understand. Like, because it was a pre-existing condition.

I don't know. It's confusing. Yeah. Also, like, this dog is eight years old. Pet insurance wasn't really talked about eight years ago. Yeah. At least in my circle. Yeah. I feel like it's just become very, like, household name. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Also, one of the things I suggested to him along with spaying her when I met him. And again, one of the things he ignored and didn't do. Dude, I would have a hard time being married to this person. Yeah, I was going to say he sounds kind of like a...

stubborn asshole yeah that's that's a good way to put it next comment everyone sucks here your husband for not spaying his fucking dog which could have prevented this spaying and neutering prevents a number of cancers and dangerous health conditions whoa and you are telling him he can't sell his own car also chemo is not that expensive i doubt it'll come to selling your house

Or, I don't know, he could get a goddamn job to pay for it instead of waiting for government assistance. It's not the dog's fault you guys can't pull your shit together. He's right in that a mammary tumor is generally quite treatable and not terminal. And OP goes, I never said he couldn't sell the car. He can sell his car, but he said he'll sell the car and use mine and drive me back and forth to work since he'll need the car. The answer to that was no. The house, I refuse to have him sell.

That's crazy. Yeah. OP just have another comment here. Like he saw me put my 14 year old cat down in April because he had cancer and no one knew about it. And he was in horrible shape. He left the room while I stayed the entire time. I would never put my animals through pain just to have six more months with them, especially at a high cost to them and me financially. He also said he wouldn't stay in the room with his dog if he needs to put her down. I will stay with her though, which that is so shitty. Yeah.

I'm like going to get a little dark here. I don't know. I've heard people doing both. But like your animal knows what's happening. Like my horse that we had to put down, it took three extra doses because he was just like fighting it. Like they fucking know and they're scared and they need you. And if you can't handle that responsibility of giving them that dignity and support and grace at the end of their life, you shouldn't get a fucking animal. Like they need you.

You're their person. You fucking, you can't sit there with them. Fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah. Spay your animals, you guys. Spay your animals. I've also heard though that like if you wait until like, especially for big dogs like German Shepherds, you're supposed to wait until they hit a year and like really develop and then you should neuter them because that's better for their health. So I hear. But moving along.

Moving along. This is wild, dude. This fucking life can be so unfair. I hate all the financial troubles people are in. Housing crisis, food being crazy, inflation. It makes me so sad that we're in the state of things we are in. I just want everyone to have free healthcare. I want kids at schools to get free lunches.

I just want like everyone to be happy and healthy and fed and fulfilled. Ah, it's the music. Maybe am I a communist? Am I so what does that make me? What am I?

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now, through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes, Gillette Razors, Metamucil, Crest Toothpaste, Secret Body Spray, and a Swiffer Power Mop.

The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Trigger warning on this next one, you guys. It does contain talks of sexual assault. Okay, up next. This one is coming from the Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's 22 hours old.

I don't even know what to make of this. It is titled, I found out my female 38 husband, male 37, is taking pictures and using me while I sleep. If this breaks any rules, just ignore this. As the title says, my husband has been touching me in my sleep and recording it. For context, I take a handful of pills every day for medical reasons. They make me extremely drowsy. And when I'm asleep, I stay asleep.

I'm very sex repulsed and I hate it, but sometimes I'll just let him have his way because I don't want to make him frustrated or upset. I just found out today when getting ready for work, he was sleeping and I couldn't find my phone. So I was going to use his to call mine. I tapped the screen and it opened up to his photos. And there was a recent video of him fingering me while I was sleeping. It's so repulsive.

There were photos and videos of him touching me, fucking me, fingering me, spitting on me, and nutting on me. I was in fucking shock and I just looked on in disbelief. The date of the photo shows this has been happening for more than a year.

What do I do? I didn't confront him. I just went to work. I called him to go back to his apartment today because I didn't want to see him. I felt violated and gross the entire day. I vomited at work. I was so sick to my stomach. I just got home and I didn't know what to do. My husband is back at his place, but hasn't called or texted. I just, I don't know what to do. I just need some advice.

my fucking god that is repulsive it is completely sexual assault sexual abuse I don't care if you're married that is so fucked up like beyond belief wow I feel disgusted too like I want to throw up I didn't I didn't I didn't read this one I didn't realize it was that bad I thought like so bad I thought it was just taking like pictures of her in her sleep I thought it was gonna be like the white whale yeah yeah yeah

I like don't have any words except divorce. Oh no. Like immediately. That is so sickening. You can't do that. But also I'm kind of confused when she says she's sex repulsed. Does that mean that she like they don't have like they never have sex then when she's awake? I could see consenting. Well, I could see her being like asexual where she doesn't like

Doesn't crave sex. Doesn't, you know, asexual can look a little different for every asexual person. I wonder if that's like a conversation that they had that he was like, you know, I'm fine without sex too. Or like how that... You would think so if they're married. Right. That's so interesting. But also being like, oh, well, sometimes I let him have his way because like whatever. But it's like, but you don't have to do that. Like there's definitely people out there that would...

like align better with you. Yeah, definitely. Like find another person that's like more asexual. No, you shouldn't ever have to have sex if you don't want to. Wow. I'm at a loss. I'm at a total loss here. I'm so disgusted. I feel so bad for her. Holy shit. It's really bad. The top comment on this. Yeah. If you didn't consent, that's rape. Yeah.

This is horrific. Not a single thing of what he did is borderline okay. Instant divorce. Take the pictures, etc. And go to the police, too. Literally. Yeah. There is an update from O.P.,

I'm going to find a lawyer and talk to and see what I can do to divorce him. The next time I have access to his phone, I'll send as many photos and videos to myself as I can. I'm scared to call the cops, but I'm hoping the lawyer can help me with that. I also see there was a lot of confusion with a lot of things to clear up. So here's more context. Having different places. I was still on the fence about moving in together. He also never entertained the idea of living together whenever brought up. So I didn't want to waste my breath time and money on something we wouldn't enjoy.

Wait, I'm sorry. What? I don't because she she mentioned, like, can you go back to your apartment or your place or whatever? And so everyone's like, wait, your husband. But yet you have separate places like. So she she's just like kind of explaining that.

And then someone goes, or she also goes, day old account. I thought it was obvious this was a throwaway, but I should have mentioned it in the beginning. That's my bad. No comments. I took my meds and went to bed almost immediately after posting. I didn't really want to acknowledge this, that it was happening to me. And I'm also just at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say. Me either, girly. Me either. This is a really hard one. And I...

I'm so, so glad she's pursuing divorce and like handling this in the right way. Yeah. This is so beyond okay. It truly is. It's rape. Yeah. It's really bad. Moving along. Because we can't end on that. No. That was like, oh, that shook me in a really bad way. Yeah. Okay. Let's end on something a little better.

Yeah. Do you want to talk about food? I'm like really hungry. We could talk about food. Okay. Okay. So this one.

is two months old. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Eating Food My Girlfriend's Parents Made at Family Dinner? My girlfriend of four years has a different cultural background than mine. Her parents are not from America, and family and meals are very important to them. I grew up in America, and while we had holiday dinners and maybe a Sunday dinner every couple of weeks, for the most part, mom or dad made something, and then we eat it where and when we wanted.

I eat dinner with my girlfriend's parents every week and I love it. It is important to her and I have no problem with the different cuisines. It's all delicious food.

However, I do not eat a lot. Growing up, I was very overweight and saw a nutritionist. Stuck to a calorie deficit and worked on my portions and have been at a healthy weight ever since. My relationship with food has changed and I no longer have the desire to tear through two double quarter pounders anymore. My girlfriend's parents seem to get offended that I get small portions of things and don't fill my plate up a second time.

They will make maybe five to six different food options and I'll get a little bit of everything because I want to taste it all. At some point, every time I'm there, they ask me if I didn't like the food. They mentioned the small portions and how I never go back for more. I just honestly tell them I don't want to overeat.

They never made a scene about it to me, but I guess they've been discussing it with my girlfriend while I am not there. A couple of days ago, my girlfriend told me that her parents feel offended over how little I eat, which a little is a 100% full plate with a bit of everything made.

And some days I eat less and some days I eat more. It really just depends. If I skipped breakfast and had a late lunch, I might fill up more for dinner. But if, for example, I got a decent breakfast, work catered sandwiches that day, I'm going to get a normal, small-sized dinner instead.

My general goal is to have equal sized meals each time, but with a busy work life, that is not always possible. So some days I didn't really have food until family dinner and I'm eating more than usual. My girlfriend asked me if it were possible that I could eat a little bit more just for one day of the week.

That's so ridiculous. I cannot stand that. Like...

No one should ever be policing what somebody else is eating unless they're in like a serious health issue. And it's like somebody that's like, like your mentor or like, you know, whatever. But like, other than that, buzz the fuck off. Like that is so ridiculous.

I can't. Especially when I, cause I know that feeling too. Sorry, like to know you're good, but no, because I've told this before, but like when I was in college, I literally ate like McDonald's every day. And I thought it was healthy because I was like, Oh, I'm getting like a, just like a chicken sandwich and chicken's healthy. Yeah. It was snack wrap. Like I'm totally fine. And so anyway, I just didn't,

understand food health at all. And I was so proud of myself when I moved here and I started eating really healthy. And then I had somebody that was like monitoring what I was eating and was like judging me and was just like, that's all you're going to eat. You're only going to have a salad. And I'm like,

I'm so proud of myself and happy with my relationship with food now. Now I know what makes me feel good and energized because I used to just be like, like a slump after I would eat. And then it was like, and so to have somebody like breathing down your, whatever the phrase is. Yeah. Um, is just so frustrating. And especially since like, he's saying that he didn't have a good relationship with food and now he does. It's like, he should not have to like, like,

change that just to please anybody else. And his girlfriend needs to talk to her parents and set them straight. I agree. And it is hard because I have someone in my life that has an eating disorder. And it is really hard when you do see what someone's putting on their plate. And you're like, if this is all you're eating, like that's not enough for you. So it is this fine line of like, do I interject because I'm worried about them?

Or like, do I mind my own business? Because what someone's eating is not my concern. But it is really hard if someone does have like an eating disorder. Like it is you worry. We all worry about, you know, the people in our life. So it is a hard line to walk. And like, even I recently learned like telling that person like, oh, my God, you look way too skinny. Like this is not this is not healthy.

You should never say that to someone with an eating disorder because it actually confirms in their head what I'm doing is working. I look skinny. So you think I'm skinny? Like it confirms everything they've done and it makes it worse. So don't make those comments to people. If you're worried about them, just say that. Hey, I'm worried about you. Exactly. That's it. 100%. That is it. There's no comments. You're getting too skinny. Are you eating enough? Right. Just

I am worried about you. Yeah, 100%. And that's why I said to you in the beginning, I was just like, you should never have something to comment about somebody, like their eating habits, unless like you're worried about their behavior.

He's flashing your eye. Yeah. Unless you're worried about their health. And even so, it should come from somebody that like is, like I said, like a professional. Yeah. Or someone like very, very close to them. Not like his girlfriend's parents who are just offended because they like, you know what I mean? Yeah. So...

That, to me, doesn't sound like they're worried about his health. It sounds to me like they're just being ridiculous. Well, and I get the cultural stuff. Like, you hear that a lot. Did he say which culture? I'm sorry if I missed that. It wasn't mentioned, just that they're from a different cultural background and they're not from America. Okay. I'm not sure if there's any comments that elaborate on it, but I have heard that in many, many cultures. You think Hispanic families, like...

Hispanic moms. I feel like Greek, too. I mean, there's so many of them. Like, so many cultures are very heavily centered around food. Yeah. And who doesn't love food? But, like, that would be a different thing if, like, he just never ate their food. That's what... You know what I mean? Well, and also when he started to describe, like...

his small plate, it's still a full plate. It's a full entire plate of food with every kind of food they're offering. So I don't understand why they think

he's like being rude or not eating. I mean, I know by some standards, a full plate means it's like heaping, like it gains height. So like maybe their definition of full, like, no, you load it up and it should be stacked. That's just ridiculous though. But one of my thoughts was going to be like, well, bring Tupperware and like bring, you're asked to take seconds home with you. Like, Hey, I'm really full right now, but I'm going to love this later.

And that was going to be my suggestion. Yeah. But he got to that. He's already taking seconds home. Yeah. So it's like, where's the issue? Like, where is this really stemming from? Weird. Weird.

Weird, weird, weird, weird. I don't know. I don't get it. I really don't get it. Is there any updates? There's not an update yet, but there is some comments. Someone goes, sounds like something Caribbean or Indian people would do. Not the asshole, but it is also a part of their culture. To be honest, I know it's irrational, but it makes me so happy when my guest eats all my food and asks for more. I am also offended when people refuse my food. But you are most definitely not the asshole. It's just a cultural difference. Do what's best for you.

And OP goes, the thing is, I'm not refusing. I've eaten every food item they've ever made. I'm not a big fan of fish, but I eat a serving of any fish-related dish when they have it. How old is this couple again? No ages are mentioned, and it's a girlfriend of four years. So it's like they've been together quite some time. Yeah. And honestly, this is the most, this is a great boyfriend. Yeah.

Like, this is a great boyfriend. He's coming over. Dude, I wouldn't eat fish. Yeah. I wouldn't be able to do it. Like, I can't eat something I don't like. And he's even eating shit he doesn't like. Right. And then you have these other stories on Reddit where someone's like, am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend not to cook her smelly Indian food? Yeah.

And then he goes on to tell this story. My girlfriend's Indian and she cooks Indian food and it stinks up our apartment or blah, blah, blah, blah, like whatever it is. And it's like, you have that asshole, which the smell of Indian food. God, I would take some chicken, chicken tikka masala. Oh, my God. Brian is making yellow curry with his like crock pot right now. And I'm so excited.

I love Indian food. I love fucking Mediterranean food. I'd take some kava. I'll take some Mexican food. I could swim in yellow curry. Like it's like my favorite food. Thai food. I could swim in some like. Oh yeah. We had the best Thai food when we were in Thailand. Tom Kha soup or whatever. We never talk about our Thailand trip anymore. I thought about that because you brought it up yesterday and I was like. That happened. I want to go back. Yeah. It's so beautiful there. Well I'm going to the Philippines soon so. Oh I want to go there too. As a very like.

kind of similar area vibe. Yeah. That's going to be an amazing trip. Oh, I'm so excited. It'll be really cool because your brother's wife is from there. And like, they haven't met your niece yet, right? Her family? Like her mom probably has...

That's a good question. I don't know. I'm sure she's meeting a lot of people now. Well, and my brother has never been and they've always wanted her to go or always wanted him to go. And she's turning one. And so it's funny because I'm like, I'm going to the Philippines for my niece's first birthday. And people are like, oh, God, like roll their eyes kind of like reaction. No, more so because they just think it's very extravagant. And I'm like, no, no, no, don't worry. It's not like we don't just like go big for birthdays like that. We it's.

she's from there. Yeah. Her mom's from there, so. Oh, I thought Geraldine was born there, too. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, okay. Sorry, I meant she's from there. Like, I meant Gwyneth and then I was like, sorry, her mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, wait a minute. Okay. Yeah, so I don't know. I just think, like,

I think these people, maybe they had like food insecurity, like when they were growing up in whatever country they came from, like maybe they have some deep rooted trauma surrounding food. So it's like the fact that they have it and their ability to offer it now. I feel like it's just passed down. That's what it sounds like to me, like culturally passed down where it's like they couldn't go play unless they ate this amount of food on their plate every single day growing up from their parents. And so then now they're just like, wait, this is how the world works.

Wow. He does elaborate too. And someone deleted their comment, so I can't see what it was, but they were making comments about like what he was eating. And OP goes, not small, literally a normal amount. I said small in comparison to what they expect. I eat dinner at their house and fill my plate up with everything. Imagine if someone expected you to eat three large ribeye steaks and three serving of mashed potatoes every dinner.

Yeah. I would throw up. It's funny, too, because, like, when I came over yesterday to the barbecue, like, I had already eaten. Yeah.

And I was like, I'm not hungry. Because I am telling you, because I go back and forth to Orange County so often, I throw money away from the grocery store. I buy food and then I just let it all go to waste. And it's like so frustrating to me. So like I just had so much fresh food that I was like, I'm going to eat this fresh food that I like. I'm going to do it. I'm going to stick to it. Yeah. And so but I did end up eating later in the night. But right when I got there, I was just like, I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah. There is like a little bit of an edit.

Another odd thing I want to add, they will make comments about my girlfriend, who is in great shape, that she is, quote, putting on weight sometimes, but also pressure her to fill her plate twice. I don't get it. God damn it. God damn it. There's another edit. I know you mean well, but the idea of pretending to eat

or getting a small plate and going back to get another small plate is just so silly to me. I get that all cultures are different. I eat all the different food they serve and follow the religious codes when I'm in their house. But the idea of taking someone's autonomy and having to fake like I'm getting more seconds is just so ridiculous to me. Also didn't know so many people would relate to being force fed and then scolded for being overweight.

As a Midwest American, I've never experienced this. Sounds very toxic that so many people can relate to that and the mental issues I had as a severely obese kid and teen. If my parents behaved in that way, it would have fucked my relationship with food up even more. But I guess nothing says showing love to someone like fattening them up and then scolding them for the natural weight gain you caused.

Wild. I think this needs to be a bigger conversation between him and his girlfriend. Yeah. Because if they plan... And the parents. He needs to sit down with them too and be like, listen, I appreciate and love this food so much. And X, Y, Z. Yeah. I think that's really smart. But... Her first. Maybe let her have that conversation. But I don't know if she's even got the strength to because if my mom...

Did that. Yeah. If my mom made me like eat two big plates of food and then said I was fat, I would be like, yeah, you're fat. Fuck you. Like I would I'd be so mad. I can really just play that out in her head. And I'm just like, you guys should have seen her face. She just instantly got pissed. She's like, are you kidding me, mom? Like as if it really just happened. Like you did this to you did this to me. Also, like.

I'm happy and healthy. I love my food. Like, fuck you. So, no, I definitely think this is a bigger, deeper rooted problem and something to really think about because if they, you know, choose to be together, if they choose to have kids, their kids could be affected by this. This type of behavior could cause their kids to develop an eating disorder. Yeah. And it's also just like, like outside of like the food and health and whatever, it is mentally like, like, like fucks with your,

like mental health. Yeah. And I, and I feel that way because like, I remember feeling so horrible that I was so excited about my good relationship. And then somebody that I care about so much, like made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Like it fucked with my head. You know what I mean? And not that long, not that deep, but like this over the years, like that's going to fuck with your like mental health. It just is. For sure. And it's hard because like

they're coming from a good place. I'm sure the person like with you, like people just worry. Like I'm sure that was coming from a good place. But again, it's like one of those things where it's like,

It could be coming from a good place, but it doesn't make it right. And it needs to be addressed. No, because later on, like that person was telling me like that she just has insecurities around food. So if she sees other people eating better or like more healthy than her, then it makes her feel guilty about what she's eating. And so she tells me what I'm doing is wrong. Dude, that's me. Then it makes her feel like what she's doing is right. Yeah, that makes total sense. And something I can really relate to. It's also why like,

And it's kind of become more wide known because of TikTok and people making like skits about it. But it's like if I'm craving a donut. Oh, right. And I'm like, I would love a donut. I'm like, Justin, should we go get donuts? And he's like, no, I'm good. I'm like, yeah, you almost like you can't give yourself permission to have that thing unless someone's like partaking in it with you. I really struggle with that. I really struggle with that because I always crave sweet treats. Oh, yeah. Always.

Oh my God. The sweet treats last night were so good. I know. I forgot the Bundt cakes at Justin's and I'm like, I got to run. Well, I can have him grab them. But it's all I'm thinking about right now. I'm so hungry. You know, all I'm thinking about is that I have this really long hair right here. On your chin? No, no, no. Right here on my neck. Do you see it? No. Wait, hold on. Let me try to grab it.

Oh, it is long. Yeah, so long. Wow. Does that ever happen to you? Just like one really random long hair out of like somewhere that doesn't get any hair. Like I have one on my arm that will just grow like literally like three inches on my arm. Yeah, this one. I was looking at it last night. I'm like, oh my God, this arm one's getting way longer than the others. Yeah, I always pluck them. I really want to get this one right now. Oh, here it is. Wait. I don't know if you're going to be able to get it.

This is such a nice tangent for people to listen to. Oh, God. Okay. Lauren plucking her neck hair. Fuck. ASMR. Yeah, right. Whatever. I don't think I read the top comment on this one. So I'll read that while you try to pluck your chin hair, neck hair.

So the top comment on this one is not the asshole. My extended family is this way culturally, and it is considered offensive to them if you reject food slash don't gorge yourself. But culture can't be prioritized over your boundaries and well-being. This is a good compatibility test for you and your girlfriend. It will be uncomfortable for her, but I hope she chooses to back you up. Yeah, this will work out. This will be good.

Okay. Cool. That's all I got. Nice. That was a good one. Yeah. It was a fun time. Yeah. Low, low key, deep problems, but no poop or incest. Wow. Yeah. Love it. I'm healed, guys. Don't worry. But there's so much good stuff on Patreon this month. So if you are looking for more content that's like

Like this, kind of our bread and butter crazy stories. There's a lot of it on Patreon and one that's free. So if you head over there and subscribe, you'll get access to some free stories as well. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. I see the whole thing. What? Nothing. It's a quote. It's a really bad quote. What was the quote?

Oh my God, it's so dumb. When I was little, so these girls were telling me how this guy was texting them. When little, I mean like 13, whatever. This guy was texting them and was like, can I see your boob? And so they were with one of their guy friends and they took a picture of just his nipple to like fuck with the other guy and sent it to him. And he goes, nice, nice. Can I see the whole thing? Yeah.

And like for like on end, like months on end, like we would just randomly, anytime we'd say nice, we'd be like, nice, nice. Can I say the whole thing? I like that. Okay. How would I have known? You like... I know, that's why... I'm like, wait, what? That's why I'm saying I was just in my own world and I was like, oh, fuck, I just said that out loud. And then now I feel... I'm like, do I just pretend I didn't say it or do I explain the story? No, that was a good story. Now you know. That was a really good story. Yeah. Oh, there's one more I want to read, but we're not doing it. I'm going to read it with...

Fuck. No, no, no. Okay. No, no, no. You got to get on the road. Yeah, I do. Lauren's driving a Newport. Yeah, it gets really bad around this time. Yeah, you got to roll. Hit the road. Got to go. And don't you come back no more. But I really want to know the story now. Okay, I'll give everyone a teaser of the title. It does contain talks of miscarriage. And it's titled, Am I the Asshole for Calling the C-Word to My Future Sister-in-Law After She Tried to Gain Sympathy with My Miscarriage.

Oof. It's got some tea there. Yikes. For sure. Any other themes we should have later? What do you want to do next? Hmm. I'll let you think about it. Okay. Okay. Thank you. If you guys have an idea for a theme, head over to Spotify. There will be a question posted where you can fill it out. And I'm sure there's going to be a poll for this story, for this week's stories.

Which one? I don't know. We'll also think about that. But it's going to be juicy. You know what I feel bad about? I feel like I didn't go hard enough in my initial reaction about the...

the girl who made that comment about her friend getting pregnant. I don't think we realized the gravity of it right away, though. And then when you really hash it and you're like, three years? That's what got me messed up because I thought about three years. Right. And whenever someone tells me a time span, I always try to think of like, okay, like you struggled with something for two years. I'm like, what is an experience I had for two years? Yeah. Okay, this. And then I'm like...

Right. Because I need a concept of the time. You know what I mean? For sure. Otherwise, I can't conceptualize it. Well, no, it didn't hit me. It was at first I was just like, oh, I mean, yeah, she's the asshole. But I always feel bad when people are genuinely trying to make a lighthearted joke and then fail so badly. I just feel bad for them. Yeah, you cringe. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, God. It didn't hit. You weren't trying to be mean. You just genuinely flopped so fucking hard. Yeah. And then when I thought about the three-year thing, I was like, oh, fuck.

That really, that's an added knife for sure. Okay, well enough chit chat. I love you. You gotta drive. Okay, I love you. If you're not following or subscribed, please do that. But other than that, until next time. Until next time. Bye.

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