118: Keeping it Candid Ft. Straight Candid
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deodorant dove shampoo trace of a shampoo and axe body spray the more you buy the more you save catch these deals before they're gone offer ends august 27th restrictions apply promotions may vary visit safeway.com for more details i like that i need to try that i always put my hair in front of the headphones but i need to try and i used to and then i had listeners bully me into trying the tuck okay it's comfortable both ways it's just kind of bully you into trying to tuck

Yeah. Why? Sometimes my family bullies me. Bullying can work sometimes. I don't believe in bullying in like mean ways. Yeah. But I have a theme I'm working on. It's kind of like, can bullying sometimes work? And it's like, it's people that were writing into Reddit that were truly assholes needed to be told straight. People had to get candid with them.

And sometimes bullying works with assholes. Not, you know, people that don't deserve to get bullied. I was bullied in high school, so it was... You were? Oh my God, it was hell. Really? Hell. That's horrible. I feel like there's different... It's almost like little T trauma versus big T traumas. Like, I feel like even being left out of things, like, literally scarred me for life. I agree. Yeah.

You felt like you were not liked. Oh, it was bad. I had to like leave my high school and go start taking college classes, which is- No, shut up. I was able to graduate college a year early because of it, but it was brutal. That's sad, Morgan. Yeah. That's really sad. It's okay. But look at you now. Look at me now. Look at me now. Let's go, bitch. Okay. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan, and today I'm joined by the girls of Straight Candid. Hi. Hi.

Introduce yourself. I know, I'm like, should we say who we are? Yes. I'm Candid Sid. Yeah, what else do I need to say? Straight Candid Podcast from Minnesota. We're all Minnesota fam over here. Yeah. In the Too Hot Takes studio, so I'm excited to be here. And I love how we said our Instagram. I'm at Candid So... Oh no, I said Candid Sid because it was like straight Candid. I'm at... I'm Sofie.

Thanks for having us, Morgan. We're so excited. Thanks for coming out. Straight Candid is another show I'm working with, and I went on their podcast, but this is to introduce you guys. They're an amazing podcast talking a lot about real issues that we face in our 20s, and I remember the first episode I listened to was about like

I think it was honestly like orgasms. It was like one of the early ones. Oh, that one? And it was a good episode. That was cringy for us. We remember that one. Really? At first, yeah, when you're putting it out. It was one of my favorites. Really? Okay. Well, what 20-year-olds are really talking about that? Like we kind of talked about it the other day where it's like, as a woman, it's so much harder to orgasm. Absolutely. And it's just like this conversation that we need to have and toys are okay and all this stuff. So it's, you guys talk about really important issues that...

Like vibrators in the bedroom. Yeah. We definitely talk about vibrators in the bedroom probably every other episode if we're being real. But also everything under the moon. Yeah. I was going to say we're not just sexual. No, not just sexual. We make sure we have. Yes. Yeah. We make sure we have just taboo conversations. Mental health is a big part of our podcast. We talk a lot about, you know, making sure men feel they have a platform to open up on as well. We just had a few guests chat about that. And yeah, Sid, yeah.

Anything to add? I mean, we're just trying to be as real and candid as we can be with like basically like the older sisters that you probably wish that you would have had when you were growing up. Yeah. And although it's, you know, we definitely have a lot of our audience in our 20s, like in your 30s, in your 40s, in your 50s, in your 60s, even like we're sharing things that can be applied to your real life. Divorce. Yeah. Um,

And anybody, anywhere, at any time, male or female, can learn from just these things that we hide behind closed doors and with our best friends to talk about. And really, truly, we're all thinking it. We want to talk about it. So that's what we do. And we pride ourselves on it.

Yeah, it's good shit. So today's theme is kind of going to be like just keeping it candid. Like these people need to be told how it is. A lot of the stories are like how to navigate your 20s, parents with 20-year-olds, weddings, like it's wedding season soon and shit is starting to hit the fan. Let's go. Sounds messy. Let's dive in. ♪♪♪

Just a reminder to subscribe or follow if you're listening on audio platforms. And last but not least, head over to Patreon because there is going to be one free story dropping this month. Enjoy the episode. Okay, so up first...

Have you guys been to the dentist regularly? I was just there right before we came. Okay, good. Like a week ago. I have the worst teeth ever. So like... What are you talking about? No, like I get really bad cavities because I got my grandma's like soft ass teeth. This just sucks.

So this one was posted three days ago. It is titled, Should I, female 24, have gotten my teeth checked right away when my boyfriend, male 30, refused to touch or kiss me because he thought I had cavities? No.

A few months ago, my boyfriend of three years, long distance for half that time, currently so, caught a glimpse of my old fillings when I was catching popcorn in my mouth and freaked out, refusing to touch or kiss me or participate in any other kind of intimacy when I visited and would periodically ask me about my teeth and if I had gone to the dentist to get them cleaned yet.

And talk about how I'm not taking care of myself. It wasn't the right time for my insurance to cover it since I had gotten them cleaned like two months before this happened. I told him they were fillings and I have gone to the dentist twice a year for as long as I can remember and I haven't had a cavity since I was 12.

I got back from the dentist yesterday, paid out of pocket due to feeling pressured from him slash the tripping incident in the next section. And lo and behold, I don't have any cavities or other issues.

He also called me last week and was drunk and very high on mushrooms. I wasn't expecting this and also wasn't in the mindset of trip-sitting as I was trying to get work on a project done and haven't been sleeping well. He insulted me several times by detailing how he needs someone with XYZ qualities and I don't have any of those.

Talked about how he doesn't want me to expect marriage. I have never brought up marriage. Talked about his female coworker in a way that made me uncomfortable. Accused me of manipulating and threatening him and plotting to kill him. When I started crying and telling him he's upsetting me, he called me crazy and immature because I wouldn't be able to help him with medical bills if he needed that. And that I'm not physically there to take care of him. And that I, quote,

Clearly can't even take care of myself since my teeth are rotting and brought up my teeth several more times. I graduated last year and I'm just beginning my career and live at home to save on rent. I do feel behind my peers who are living alone and making six figures and are mature. He is a software engineer who works remotely and has his own apartment. We both live in high cost of living areas and other hurtful things, he has said.

He was obviously not in his right mind, as he also talked about how maybe aliens are reading our thoughts, but mainly focused on our relationship. I said I didn't want to talk to him right now and hung up several times, but he kept calling and insisting that he didn't want to be alone. And I felt bad about not answering the phone, so I would pick up only for him to insult me again.

The day after, when he was sober, I talked to him and he said those were just the drugs talking and that it's stupid to think he wouldn't act differently when he's tripping out of his mind and I should have given him more leeway.

He struggles with OCD, depression, anxiety, so I try to be forgiving, but this was a lot even for me. And it definitely bothers me that he did not apologize while sober for the tripping incident, especially since he said he does remember the conversations. Though he did apologize over text for being annoyed and grumpy when we had the sober talk, he also jokingly said over text, I was the worst trip sitter ever.

I'm having a hard time discussing the situation and articulating myself. I feel like just saying, quote, you insulted me, you didn't believe me, and that hurt, and being on drugs isn't an excuse to insult me, doesn't clearly convey how dehumanizing it was. Is not wanting to kiss a partner that might have cavities reasonable? I probably should have gotten checked sooner, but I was frustrated he didn't believe me when I said they were fillings and not holes in my teeth.

I admit that I unreasonably associated giving into his pressuring as agreeing that my words can't be trusted. Typing this out, I'm realizing this probably has to do with other incidents too, like comments he's made about my weight and not taking care of my health despite the fact that my blood work has been normal each year and the doctor has nothing to say to me during physicals.

The situation is a little ridiculous. Am I making his comments slash actions over my teeth into a big deal? I should have just gotten them checked out sooner. But him thinking he knows what's best for my health and having such an extreme reaction really bothered me. And I guess I let my pettiness get the best of me. Okay. I'm sorry. What a tr-

He seems like a trash human in my eyes. Yeah. And I think it could be a small... Yes, that was like a small thing that he disagreed with, but that's a red flag and that red flag can lead to bigger issues. So, oh my God, absolutely not okay. I'm just lost at how we went from like, you have holes in your teeth to you're being gaslit. Like someone telling you that you're overweight when you're not. Someone telling you you're a bad person when you're not. I mean, like...

he's obsessing over holes in your teeth that could have been squashed in two seconds why don't you open your mouth wide take a look look at that they're very clearly fillings is he a fucking dentist i'm confused does this bitch have a dds or whatever the fuck fancy titles dentists have like what is up with him she just went to the dentist two months ago cavities don't develop that fast you motherfucker also why a cavity isn't black

A filling is black. And guess what? I have those in the back too because sorry not sorry, when you're younger, they fill them with that. And when you're a little bit poorer and you can't fill it, you get silver. Sorry, sorry. The white fillings that match your teeth are actually so expensive. I don't have dental insurance. I kind of

I don't know. I didn't have insurance for a long time. So the fact I even have health insurance now is a miracle. But I don't have dental. I just pay out of pocket. And like to get just a filling that matches your tooth color and not silver, it's like 600 bucks a filling. Oh, at least. A crown. I paid $1,700 for a crown. I

I got one of those too. I have one of those too. And that's the thing. It's like we probably all have worked on our mouth. Sometimes you can see it. Sometimes you can't. Are you kidding me? The gaslighting was the kicker for me. I don't like it. I don't like that. He's the one that apparently has a great job. He made sure for her to know that too. And he's tripping in his free time, just expecting somebody to take care of him. And then he's like throwing out like all these things about how much he doesn't want to be with her. Like, are we going to skip over that? Yeah.

Like, holy. Talking about the coworker. I think turned up mine. Don't expect me to marry you. Turned up mine is sober thoughts. That's all I got to say. Yeah. This is something interesting about this one too, because he does have some mental health struggles, which we all do. We're all, we all have our things. But for someone that is sounds like actively struggling with depression, anxiety, and then has OCD, maybe mushrooms aren't the best choice for you.

And I think that's where it's like you're calling your girlfriend again and again and again She said she doesn't want to you know trips at you You're not taking it and like I get you put your like you put yourself in this bad situation and it's unfortunate that now we're here but like

You have to get to a point where like you need to be accountable for your actions and like recognize like, hey, maybe the mushrooms aren't the best for my mental health. I deal with anxiety, depression, too. And I would never shrooms are just like the one drug that I know I would probably spiral from. So I'm like staying away, staying away. I have some if you want to try them, you know.

I think I'm good. I think I'm good on that one. Well, because there's different kinds, right? There's mushrooms that don't have the psychedelic properties and that actually people use to microdose and treat anxiety and depression. I've heard that helps. Like if you have like a little... Yeah. You have experience? So I just got some from a listener and they're magical. And my friend Lauren microdoses regularly. Okay. And it's like been...

I've heard... Really life-changing. I have heard like the little bit is okay. And if you do a big trip, sometimes I've heard that it actually can like cure your anxiety and depression. Even just like a huge trip if you have a good intention with it and you're in the right spot, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, I don't want to risk that because some people also develop... They have a bad trip and they have PTSD and then it makes their anxiety and depression worse. I'm like, I don't want to mess around. Yeah. And I used to work at a mental health facility here in LA and a lot of my patients...

had drug induced schizophrenia. Oh God. So drugs, drugs can be a gateway to having your first psychosis or your first psychotic break. Like that oftentimes can trigger other mental illnesses. Wow. So it's like, just, it's not worth it. Like, and there's so many studies, like

cocaine can literally rot your brain. Oh, yeah. I've heard of this one. It's wild. It's something I see a lot in LA. And we talked about ketamine earlier. Yeah. Just casually. It's just crazy what people will do just to like...

go out and it's like just fucking can't play Scrabble like maybe meditate you'll also feel like really good hot chocolate really soothes the soul people forget I'm not lying like hot chocolate on a little night in oh god dang can you tell we're from we're all from Minnesota here I want my fuzzy socks I want my popcorn with M&M's and I want my hot chocolate and my reality TV let's go that's way better than ketamine

She needs to break up with him. Yeah, she does. 1000% you need to get away from this human being who's bringing you down, gaslighting you and worried about the holes in your teeth that aren't holes. I think he might have been hallucinating. He wasn't seeing holes, my friend. He was seeing fillings. Doesn't that feel...

Kind of manipulative, like for him to withhold intimacy and affection, like he won't kiss me because he thinks I have a cavity. He won't even be intimate with me. Like, can you imagine your partner using that and like shutting you out in such a like of like he's already making you feel gross and like kind of maybe that's an insecurity or trying to make it an insecurity and then to like withhold any intimacy and

It just doesn't seem healthy. Your boyfriend should want you at your worst. Like, even if you're just like sweaty, they should be like all over that shit. That's all I'm saying is like, if you have cavities, it's like, yeah, if you're from the gym, like, yeah, give it to me. Like, are you kidding? It's a tooth. It's a fucking tooth. It's just a tooth, you guys. Like, and I don't know why that would be obsessive.

It sounds like this person has a serious control problem is what it sounds like to me. Like withholding behaviors are very control centric, which means, yeah, that just emotional abuse, which is yeah. Psychological. Like it's, it's bad. That's bad. Yeah. You need to break up with him. Top comment on this one.

You're dating an asshole. You should stop dating an asshole. Love it. That's all we needed to say. That simple. Point blank, baby. Point blank. I'm going to out myself so bad right now. This is the most disgusting thing about me. Truly. You wrote this. Oh, God. I did not. No, this one's not me. It could be, though, because like I had this one filling and it was silver.

And then I have like in the crack, like this little black thing. And it's not a cavity. My dentist is like, no, it's just like discoloration on your tooth, like whatever. But from having strep throat so much as a kid,

You can develop like holes in your tonsils. Oh. Have you guys heard of tonsil stones? I get those. I get them too. I get them. What are they? They're horrible. They're really gross and they smell so bad. Do you like hack this up? You can if you don't take care of them. So I have like a little pick and a water pick. So I put the water pick in there and like it shoots them out. How often? Oh, I do it daily.

I'm like, I cannot... I cannot have them. It freaks me the fuck out. I actually ripped a hole in my tonsil because I was going so hard trying to get one out. And I was like bleeding for a week. If you know the smell of these things, I'm telling you right now. I've never told anyone that I have these things. Oh, and it's together. I know. I'm like, oh, that's cute. They are...

They are literally a little rock that forms in your throat. And I only get it when I'm severely, severely stressed and exhausted. Like I'm about to get sick, basically. It's my body like processing like you're going to get ill.

And it's a rock. And I'm not kidding you. If I open my mouth and I can literally smell my breath, I'm like, I have a rock in my throat right now. I literally do. And I open my mouth wide and there it is. You can see it. Is that why you cover your face with your shirt sometimes? No, that's because I like the smell of my perfume. Oh, okay. No, but these things... So essentially, this is also the reason I bought a tongue scraper. So if you see all the white stuff on your tongue as you're sleeping, your tongue...

are right next to your tonsils. So it's all those little food particles and bacteria and they create these little balls and then go into your tonsils. I'll send you a picture of my next one. So how often have you, both of you get them? Like how often do you hack this up? I get them like, well,

Well, I'm like religious about like making sure I use my water pick and my little, it might have like a little like, it feels like a minor tool, like a cave minor would use because it's like this little pick with a light on the end. And I'm like in there, like, it's so, it's so weird. It's kind of satisfying though. Yeah. Well, and then I just want to see everyone else's like,

I have this obsession now where I just want to like look in people's throats. My tummy. At their tonsils. You can look at mine. After. Okay. I'm curious. Maybe I have them and I just don't even know. Can you imagine? Oh my God. No, you'd know, honey. Your breath, you'd know. I didn't know about them until like two years ago. And my brother, I was like, oh my God, my tonsils hurt. And then I like used a flashlight and looked and I was like, what is that? And he's like, it's a tonsil stone.

And I was like, what the fuck? Is this only for people who have gotten their tonsils out or can you have them if you haven't gotten your tonsils out? It's for people who still have their tonsils. That's why I'm so mad at my mom. I was like, bitch, why didn't you get my tonsils out? I still have my tonsils. Oh yeah, there's a chance. We'll check. We'll check. I don't get it very often. When I'm getting very run down, that's when I get them. That's interesting. I wonder if it's because like the inflammation in your tonsils because those are like a bacteria filter in your mouth. Like,

So probably. Yeah. Because if I'm getting sick. Yeah. Your tonsils and adenoids and it's just crazy stuff. And then your eustachian tubes and your sinuses. I got like six ear infections in a year because my eustachian tubes are too flat. They don't go angled down. So my ears don't drain properly. I'm just a fucking mess. You're kind of broken over here. I'm really. You know what? You probably have a hole in your tooth. I have to go to the dentist. Your boyfriend not kiss you.

Yeah, he does. And I just feel bad because I'm like, how bad does my... No, I'm just kidding. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. If you get them out, you don't have bad breath. Yeah, no. I'm pretty good about my little... My pick. Okay. Moving. Our little... Our Morgan the Miner. Yeah. Oh, cute. God.

I shouldn't have shared this. Morgan, the tonsil. I overshare every episode. We do too. Literally, we talk about shitting our pants almost every episode. I can't wait to hear about this. Okay. I'll find a poop story for the second half tomorrow. Please. Yes, we have a poop story. Yeah, this will be good. Okay. So up next, we have a post from one day ago and it's posted on the Too Hot Takes subreddit. Okay. Our very own sub.

It is titled, Bought the Wedding Dress My Best Friend Wanted, But Didn't Get, and She's Mad at Me. Oh, God. I'd be pissed. I, 25 female, got engaged to my now fiance, 26 male, of seven years on December 24th, 2022. I'm so happy and excited. The wedding is set for March 16th, 2024, and I've already planned so much. Now the drama. My

My best friend, who I'll call Kay, 25 female, got married August 15th, 2022 and chose me as her maid of honor. We've been best friends for 10 plus years. I was super excited and did everything a maid of honor is expected to do, especially go dress shopping with the bride. We went to at least three different bridal stores together and she absolutely, all caps, fell in love with one from the last store.

She wanted it so bad and she looked absolutely stunning. However, her mom, who I'll call B.,

didn't like it. It was a little over budget and she said it wasn't bridal enough and looked like a cocktail dress. Kay was clearly upset. So I tried to help her come up with ways for her to get the dress. Unfortunately, B didn't budge. Kay ended up choosing a different dress at a different bridal shop that was just as beautiful. Fast forward to February of this year. I asked her to be my maid of honor and invite her dress shopping with my mom and I.

Oh, God.

I felt so beautiful and confident for the first time in years. Kay went to the restroom, and my mom said I should talk to Kay to make sure she was all right. So before we all went to dinner, I asked Kay, will you be mad if I choose this dress? She said, I'd be a little jealous, but if that's your dress, you should get it.

Two weeks later, I said yes and set an appointment for her to get her maid of honor dress. I even offered to buy it for her because I wanted her to get a dress she wanted no matter the cost. After I said yes, she got extremely upset and ran into her dress room crying. My smile immediately went away and everyone in the bridal shop could see. She texted me a few hours later saying, quote, I'm sorry, you knew how much I wanted it for my wedding and it feels like a punch in the gut.

She also said, quote, it felt like a stab in the back. I couldn't stop crying. The next day we had a girl's day because she didn't have a bachelorette. That's a whole nother story. And we both apologized. We had a great day and I thought everything was fine.

Kay went silent for two months after that day. I texted her and basically asked her what's going on. She said, quote, based on how I was treated during my wedding planning and then you getting that dress, you don't value our friendship. I was shocked.

I honestly didn't know what she meant by, quote, how I was treated throughout my wedding process, and I didn't respond right away. The next day, I texted her that what she said broke my heart, and we needed to have a conversation, but I needed time to process everything. A week later, I asked Kay if she was still going to be my maid of honor. I told her, quote, I still want you to be, but if you don't want to, I'll understand. And she responds, that sounds like you don't want me to be.

I said that was not the case, but I wouldn't force her and I would respect her decision regardless. She basically ended up saying, quote, I'm still going back and forth with it, but I'm leaning towards not being in your bridal party.

Fast forward to weeks of trying to get together in person. We get together and talk. The conversation went well, I thought. I told her she's no longer in the bridal party and my second maid of honor is taking over the role completely. Kay and I both said we want to stay in each other's lives. One thing that Kay said that really pissed me off is that when I said I can't go back in time and choose a different dress, she laughed and said, quote, you could, it would just be a lot of money, lol.

I've been really going back and forth on this and it's adding so much stress to myself. So am I the asshole? This needs to be unpacked a little bit. That's dicey. I have recently been a part of a few weddings. They can be tough. They can be tough. I've seen maid of honors and brides not ever talk again, like literally in weddings that I've been in. Wow.

What's your mind? Yeah, what's like, what was it over? Like, spark notes. Spark notes would basically be that the maid of honor...

had a new boyfriend. He kind of put her into a little bit of like a weird position. He was older. He was very much like the controller of the relationship, like what he said goes. So let's say he wanted to fly to the destination wedding two days after she was supposed to be there late for the bachelorette that we were having there. She didn't plan anything of it, like barely was like there for it. They showed up late.

After the wedding, she gave her speech. She disappeared and she flew out from where we were and never said anything to the bride. Is she okay? This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. I mean, very clearly, but when you've tried to get through to the person over and over again. You can only do so much. You can't do anymore. You have to let them learn for themselves. Ugh.

Which, so... Yeah, with this one then, like, yeah. I was trying to put myself in both of their spots. Like, if I was the bride and I was like, this is the dress I want. Part of me is like, did she want that dress because there was that subconscious in the back? Like, she put it on knowing, like, this cannot be the dress that I pick. So it's the dress I pick. It's almost like you want what you can't have. That goes literally relationships, everything. I'm like, is that why she picked it, though? So I'm...

I don't know if she's the asshole or not. I think honestly, I think... I can't decide. I think everyone sucks here. Yeah. I think when you... And I get the dress. When you're talking about Kay, the girl who originally tried that dress on. Yeah. I get budget plays a big part in something. Like if you can't afford it, there's only so much you can do. Exactly. But it sounds like maybe affordability could have changed. It was more so her mom. And it's like if you want something...

advocate for yourself. This girl is every chance and chance she gets is not advocating for herself. She doesn't get her dream dress. And then her friend asks her, hey, would you be upset if I got this dress? And she doesn't just say, yes, I would. That was my dream dress. That would really hurt. She says,

No, you can get it. I might be a little jealous, but you can get it. Fucking stand up for yourself. Say what you want. This is your friend of 10 years. Communicate with her. Communicate. But also, then I'm in the boat of like, why even try on the dress? You're kind of being...

a little bit of an inconsiderate ass by even going down that road. If I had a friend of 10 years, which I do, and she fell in love with the dress, which she did, I would literally never put that dress on. I would not put the dress on. No. Why would I put myself in a position where I know that even though it's a weird situation and weddings can be really dicey, I would never add to that stress. Why would I put myself in the position in the first place? There's a million dresses out there. And to the other girl...

she's kind of a people pleaser. She's not saying what, like you said, she needs to stand up for herself. She needs to say what she means. But also in every situation, like, do you want me to not do this dress? Do you want to be in my wedding or not? You're not talking to me. What's going on? She's just being a flake. Well, and what's hard is like, she cried in the dressing room. And then the next day they had this great day to wear like our writer here thinks everything's fine. Like I, we had a great day. I thought it was all good. And then to go someone it's like,

I don't know why, especially after a 10-year-long friendship. Why are you not comfortable enough in your feelings or with yourself to share with your friend? Like, she's been friends with you for 10 years. She's not going to stop being friends with you just because you share how you're feeling. Be honest.

Be candid. Be candid. Be real. God, be fucking candid. It bums me out because I hear way too many horror stories about weddings. And then I see horror stories about weddings. And then I'm like, oh shit, what am I about to get myself into down the road? I'm like, do I want to have a bridal party? I don't freaking know because why the hell would I put myself in a position that could tarnish a relationship with a best friend?

Or maybe on the flip side, is this about to show me true colors of like the greediness of like my closest friends? Like obviously not my people. Right. But then this happens to your maid of honor. You're like, Jesus, it's hard. I just like I'm something I'm really struggling with is like how expensive like celebrating other people has become like. And obviously, if you're in a position to do so, like it doesn't you don't think about it so much. But it's crazy. Like to go to one of my friends weddings like I spent

probably three grand just to go to her wedding and like i did too i'm like what the like what like just maybe a lope and like i'll send you 500 bucks as a gift like and that's and then it's like well that's not the point like it's about being there and sharing the love but it's like that is an insane amount of money to spend on someone else's wedding personally it

My opinion is if you're a bride, you have to be considerate about that because like I would not drop $3,000 to go to someone's wedding. Like I couldn't right now. Like, sorry, I can't come. I care about you, but I literally can't just drop the money. It's an insane amount of money. Yeah. I don't know. I'm on the flip side because like one of the wedding that was one of my best friends and I would pay every dollar again to go to that experience that because it was the most beautiful day I've ever been a part of.

It was the most passion I've ever seen. It was, they let it be like an open vacation. So like we still got to do everything we wanted to do. That's really nice. And then like also be a part of the bridal party.

Do I think that one-ing up that wedding, like even like to like go to a different one and is going to be impossible? Absolutely. Because it was so amazing. Yeah. I think for your closest friends, you can make the decision if you want to go and you want to spend that money. Yeah. If it's a, if you're not in the bridal party, I think there's no expectation for you to be there and spend that money. That's my opinion. Yeah. Yeah. How do you get out of that people pleaser phase?

How do you start saying no? It takes time. It takes boundaries. Yeah. And you, I feel like I disappoint people a lot with boundaries and I've, I feel like the more you do it, the easier it is. Um,

But yeah, I mean, it's still hard. We're both people pleasers. We all are just a little bit. We're perfectionists and it comes into play, but small steps, one step at a time. Yeah, it's like a muscle. You just got to keep repping. I feel like I always have to actually say what I'm thinking and I force myself to say what I'm thinking because...

Yeah.

I feel so shitty. And I could have just said, no, I'm not really going to show up for you right now because I can't. Yeah. And then weird. That person, you try it once. That person's not angry at you. Weird how that works out. Communication, baby. Communication. Communication.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on personal care items at your local store. Now through August 27th, get extra discounts when you purchase participating items like Dove Beauty Bar, Dove Body Wash, Dove Men Plus Care Body Wash or deodorant, Dove Shampoo, Trace-A-May Shampoo and Axe Body Spray. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

Visit Safeway.com for more details. Okay, one last one before we go to dinner and pick this back up tomorrow. This one is five hours old, posted. Oh gosh. It's new. Let's go. It is new. She fresh. Coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole? Because I, quote, didn't do enough to discourage my daughter from using OnlyFans.

I, 47 female, am a single mom. When my daughter, now 21 female, was 18, I found out she had an OnlyFans account by accidentally walking in on her taking photos of herself. I was very angry and shocked. But once I got a bit more cool-headed, I realized that I probably wouldn't be able to stop her even if I tried.

I sat her down and tried to explain what my concerns were and how she should give this decision a lot of thought, but I emphasized that I would still love and support her even if she decided to continue, since she was old enough to make decisions for herself. I felt a lot of sympathy for her because as a single mother, I wasn't able to provide for her the nice life she deserved growing up. We were living in a one-bedroom apartment for many years, frequently skipping on meals to make ends meet.

The few hundred extra dollars in her pocket every month from OnlyFans made a real difference to her happiness. She was able to go out with her friends to concerts, buy nicer clothes and makeup, and didn't have to work her weekend job.

When the pandemic hit and OnlyFans exploded in popularity, she went from making a few hundred dollars a month to a few thousand. Over those months, OnlyFans became a full-time career for her. When restrictions eased up, she started performing hardcore content and with her newfound money was able to afford a lavish, by my standards at least, style of living. She rented a nice place of her own, partied a lot, and seemed to be enjoying her life.

Last week, she showed up at my place in tears. She was broke, and she admitted that she'd developed a drug problem. She screamed at me, telling me I'd ruined her life and that I should have stopped her from using OnlyFans when she was 18. She called me irresponsible, lazy for not making more money so that she wouldn't have had to turn to OnlyFans, and a horrible mother.

She told me that every relationship she ever cared about ended when the guy found out what she did for a living and that I shouldn't have, quote, stood by applauding while she ruined her life. Her comments really hurt me, and I've been crying nonstop for the past week pretty much. I'm torturing myself with these thoughts, and I just want to know where I stand. I'm worried I let my daughter down and that she's right. I am a terrible mother, but I'm

But I also feel intensely angry at her. Like, I'll go crazy unless I scream, I told you so. And you didn't listen at her. Was I an asshole mother? Or should I be justifiably angry about how she's handled her life? That makes my heart hurt. The fact that was posted five hours ago, too. Yeah. All I'm saying is moms are doing their best.

Everyone thinks that, like, even when you're growing up, you're like, my mom knows everything. They don't. They're doing the best they can. So I do not. I really don't think she's the asshole in this situation.

I think you need to be stern as an adult, as a parent, like looking at your child, even though they're 18. Yes, they're an adult. I don't think if she would have been sterner or maybe if she could have been sterner that it would have made a difference. Yeah. No. So I think it would have severed the relationship even more. I agree. And I think what you need to do right now, instead of focusing on if you're an asshole or not, and if you cause this or not, is get your daughter help. Yeah. Truly. That's what I would do. That's step one. And like, as sad as it is, like,

She also needs to learn a little bit of accountability. Like that's kind of an underlying theme with like all of these right now. It's like, where's the accountability? Like, and I do agree. I think if the mom would have said like, no, I'm, I'm cutting you off. You can't live here anymore. Like at 18, she would have ran away and maybe be in an even worse situation. Like she sounds like she was so determined to just do her own thing. And what 18 year old isn't like, and this is especially a thing with moms and daughters. Like

We're always pushing boundaries with our moms. We're always trying to establish that we're different than our moms and be our own people. So it wouldn't have worked if she would have put her foot down then either. I don't think you're the asshole. Like, I really don't. Like, I think you did the best that you could. You clearly, like, I can't say that I've been in the same situation where you're in a one bedroom with your mom and you're, you know, you have a single parent. You're just trying to hustle just you two. I mean, she was trying to hustle because she saw a dollar. And when you're that young, like, 100%.

a hundred bucks makes a huge difference. Yeah. You get excited for a little, like, I mean, it's not a little amount of money, but like that little impact that you felt just from getting a hundred dollars. Right. Yeah. So it's probably, it was probably addicting. Honestly, too. I was going to say she was seeing dollar signs and she was not going to change no matter what the, the weird comment that I heard was she started, it said during COVID, she started doing something content, like performing hardcore. What does that mean? I,

envisioned the earlier stuff was just selfies, nudes, that kind of thing. And when I hear videos, yeah, when I hear hardcore, I'm like, she's probably having sex on camera or it's gone past just photography. I also think that right now the mother might think, oh my gosh, like this is going to be the end of the relationship. But I really do think if you give it time, I think it might get worse before it gets better. Like she's going to need help. And I bet

There will be forgiveness in the future, for sure. I think... Yeah. I hope so, at least. It sounds like the mom is just trying to deal with her own anger and completely justified. If I had worked my ass off and tried to give my daughter everything that I possibly could, and then she came back and said, you're a terrible mother, you're lazy because you didn't work more...

like blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, God, you ungrateful little brat. I know. I guess I'd be pissed too. Oh my God. There's like, there's so many emotions to unpack here, but like bottom line, yeah, she probably needs help. She should probably move out of her lavish apartment that she can't afford. The drug problem needs to be addressed. Like there's a lot here, but it sounds like this mom is very supportive. I mean, how many parents, how many parents would have cut her off as soon as they found out? 90%. Yeah. Yeah. A lot. And

And for this mom to be like, you know what? I don't want you to do this, but whatever you choose, I love you. I'll support you. She didn't cut her off. I don't see the best answer a mother could give too. Like giving you all the cons, like this is what could happen. This is what you're going to be doing. This will always be out there. I bet she said all of that and she still made the decision. That was her decision. My mom, I lived with my mom around the time of like 18 and then through COVID. And I mean, like...

I don't remember. I didn't have an OnlyFans, but my mom definitely, when she found out like I drank and different things, you know, not of age, I'm outing myself a little bit. She was like, you know, that's extremely disappointing, but I can't change what you're doing and you have to make your own decisions. But I wouldn't do that if I was you because that's extremely risky. And so it was almost like a, I think the disappointment burns more than the actual, no, you can't do that. Like I would have just...

acted out more if I would have heard a no. The disappointment made me be like, oh shit, I got to pull back. Yeah. I have, well, I don't have it. I haven't been diagnosed by anyone, but I have like a very oppositional like personality. So like if my parents told me something, I was doing the exact opposite just to like prove I could. Like I was, I was a terror.

absolute terror. The friends that I had in high school who had really strict parents, first year in college, alcohol poisoning, hospital visits. I'm just saying. Oh my God. Yeah. I think they go the other way. It's the same with the almond moms and the parents that are so crazy about what their kids eat. They don't even buy anything like a chip or anything. Those kids move out on their own and then they develop binge eating. You can't

over-restrict your kids. It's a fine line. In any essence. No, it's really hard. I literally remember my mom being like... I would ask her, I'd be like, can I please go to the sleepover, please? And she's like, your boy is going to be there. I'm like, no. And of course they were. And she knew. She wasn't dumb. It was like a Saturday. And she would say, I don't want you to go. And she goes, but the decision is yours. And I'm like...

And one time, one time I went out of spite because I'm like, you know, I'm going to make my own decisions. I want to go. And let me tell you. Got a minor. No, the entire time I was sitting in the corner, I'm like, I want to go home. I can't be here. My mom's so disappointed in me. And I drove back home. I drove back home. You're such a good kid. That was not me.

Oh, you're such a good kid. You know what? I think that was me too, honestly. I was too afraid of my dad. I was afraid. My dad was strict. My mom was like a little more lenient. So I'd always go to my mom for everything. Yeah. Yeah.

That's so cute. That really is. I can't, I could not disappoint my mom. I can't even feel the feeling of that word. Oh my God. But that's honestly like that just shows how great it is to like let your kids make their own decisions, but to like instill this confidence in your relationship that, hey, it's okay if I change my mind or hey, mom, can you come pick me up? Like I, you know, like same with, sorry, same with like,

um, sex when I was that age too. Like I felt comfortable going to my mom. Like the first, I didn't have sex earlier, anything, but,

I thought I had like, oh my gosh, I had sex. I didn't know what I was doing. My mom's like, make sure you're safe. Like I felt comfortable going to her. And I think there's resentment that builds if they are strict and you can't talk to your parents about anything. I didn't have that experience. It's you, you have to be able to talk to your mom. And I was like, I love that I had that with my mom. So that's amazing. Cause not everyone has it. I didn't, I was very much. So the kid where it's like no sex before marriage. And so it was like,

absence, absence, absence. And it's like, okay, I had sex at 15. Yeah, I had it early too. And it's like, well, and it's like, thank God I wasn't, for my life at least, I wasn't a teen parent. I didn't want that for myself. And thank God I didn't have an accident because my mom not being open with me, I wasn't on birth control. I was scared to talk to her. I didn't get a proper sex education talk.

Like, I was kind of like... I fell through the cracks. Meanwhile, I found out my older brother had... Like, my mom gave them, my older brother and his girlfriend, the best sex ed talk ever. Oh, interesting. Telling my brother, hey, make sure you're pleasing your girlfriend. It's about her too, you know? No. And I...

The male to female conversations that people have with sex education and just addressing the birds and the bees. I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God. We are here too. Hi, I'm a girl. Including like masturbation. Like all these girls growing up with like issues being able to orgasm because they're ashamed and there's just like this guilt behind touching yourself. And I'm like,

oh when I was little like again we even talked about this earlier but like I had my first orgasm when I was like literally eight years old and I was like ever since then I know what I was doing poor Carmel poor Carmel yeah your little stuffed dog we humped that baby it's okay I mean I use sheets I remember like I remember vividly googling because like you start to discover yourself I remember I got my first laptop and like

God you're on the internet Like I had no parental controls On that thing And I remember googling Like homemade sex toys And Homemade It said It said a sheet Use a nice silky sheet Pull it between your legs And go back and forth On your clit I had never heard of this It worked I should try that

It's honestly... Now I need something a little more higher voltage if I'm being real. Do you use any like creams? Do you use any add-ons? Like we were talking about this, how like you need a toy, which is totally fine. Like toys are teammates, not competition. Exactly. For couples out there. But do you use any like stimulant cream? I mean, I've used... Like when I have sex, obviously lube. But no, I've wanted to try...

No, really? Lube. Obviously. No, like, okay. And I know people, they come at me every time I talk about it because they hate MLMs, but Pure Romance is O-cream. And I've tried a bunch of other ones now. I've tried like Cowgirl Magic, Bolt, and...

Nothing hits like Pure Romance O-Cream. What do you mean like stimulant? So it's like a... So they, like during the demo, they're like, this is your clit. Your clit has 8,000 nerve endings. If you use O-Cream, it heightens all of those nerve endings. So your threshold to have an orgasm is that much lower. It's easier. Do you feel like a tingle? Initially, it feels a tingle. And then it's like, God, if you blew on that thing, it becomes so much more sensitive. I should try Icy Hot. Icy Hot.

Oh Jesus. Don't put that down there. I just thought of that. I was like the only other cream I can think of. No, I know somebody who grabbed for their icy hot and put it down there on accident instead of lubed. They were in the dark. They were excited. They were hooking up. Oh my God.

Both of them. Pain. Pain. I had pain. No. Ouch. Most of the toys is like vibrating. Yeah. But I should try that. You absolutely should. And there's other brands if you don't want to support an MLM. Like there's options out there. But I've heard of THC. Yes. Oh, I bought that one too. I've wanted to try that forever. I've tried that. Have you? It's good. I'm so biased at this point. Like I'm...

I've tried everything. I did like a lot of research. Okay. I've been... Pure romance. Oh. Yeah. I will say I definitely liked... It was CBD slash THC oil. Yeah.

very calming. And I like a more relaxed vibe, not hyper-stimulation. I'm like, oh, I'm going to lay down. And then I went and laid down and I was just enjoying my little moment. And it was very soothing almost energy, which is when I think I have the best. Was it called Phoria? I can't remember. They shared it with me and I could not remember. Phoria is the one I tried that has CBD in it. And it's good. Wonderful. It's centralized versus a head high, right? If it acts as TH,

Yeah but like THC Yeah No it doesn't hit you Like you're not high It just like Oh I see what you're saying Yeah Your vagina's high Yeah Maybe As Sarah Schauer would say You have a headache In your clit Yeah that was Headache in your pants That was like the best thing I've heard For like that sensation You start feeling as a woman When you're turned on Yeah

It was crazy. I know. I love that. It was crazy. I remember feeling that when I was little and I had no idea what the hell was going on. I called it a heartbeat. Yeah. Oh, when you can feel it. It's not. I didn't know what it was. I was like, what the hell is that? I have a heartbeat down there. I kind of want to hump this armchair, but why? No, I was not humping anything. Well, you want to know what's so crazy about like a female orgasm to like

I feel like people have a hard time describing it. And so that's why I used to think I was broken. I'm like, I can't have one because you're expecting fireworks and blah. And it's like, no, it literally is just like, it's so different than that. And so I was like, wait, am I? Oh, yeah, I actually am.

I thought I was broken. I did. I was like, I am full-fledged broken. And if you are listening and you haven't experienced one, just know that doesn't mean you're broken. Like there's ways and things you can do. You need to go to like therapy or OT. No. OP. No. Okay.

OT does address sex, but there's also sex therapists too. Exactly. For like, you can do exercises even to like help you either get over some sort of shame you have. And like, we've talked about that. We've had OBGYNs on to kind of go through that too. So just know you're not broken. No. If that is something you're experiencing. I have multiple friends that are 30 and older and still haven't had an orgasm.

I would say my advice is just actually get curious about your body. Be curious and wonder and figure out what you like because I was afraid to even touch down there. I was afraid to see what was going on. I was afraid, oh, that's a shame. You cannot, don't touch yourself. Oh my God. Remember, that's shameful. That's bad. You need to learn what's going on down there in your body. And then once you understand, everyone always said, once you understand what you like,

then you can express it to a person or your partner in a safe space. Right. Also addressing shame. Yeah. Because if you've gone through something, which sadly a lot of us have, that has made us feel shameful or afraid of experiencing more like sexual activity and different things like that. Like that's something that needs to be addressed. Doesn't mean you're broken, babe. No, I thought I was broken. And look at me. Well, and back to this girl, like her

I think this whole thing was triggered by this guy finding out she did OnlyFans and then wanting nothing to do with her. And I think that goes with anyone's sexual past. If someone judges you for a body count, one, if a guy's asking you that...

Fuck him. Bye. But also like if anyone is judging you or not able to get over your past or holds it against you, they're not your person. So for this, like this girl dodged a bullet. If you don't want to do OnlyFans anymore, you don't have to. Move on. You don't owe anybody anything. You don't have to tell anybody that you did it. You can move forward with your life. She's got other things though to worry about right now. She's got to get off the drugs. She's got to figure out what is next for her life. She's got to take a deep breath.

get humble with herself, realize, take responsibility for actions, renew the relationship with your mom. Yeah. Move forward. Yeah. The top comment on this one is not the asshole. And that's the vote I'm seeing heavy, not the asshole. Um, they go on to say you talked through your concerns with her initially, and ultimately she's an adult that made poor choices and is having to deal with the consequences. Blame is easier for her than self-reflection. Uh, yeah.

snap snap that's called immaturity my friends that's immaturity yeah and she's young she's young that's exactly honestly i wonder if i was 18 and only fans was a thing i don't know like that's the thing like i think they should up the age on it to be honest like 21 like if you if you don't have the mental capacity to drink alcohol and choose you know certain things like even the fact you can join the military at 18 i'm like

Those people's prefrontal cortexes are not developed. Like, why are we it's almost it just feels like you're taking advantage of like people like you're exploiting a vulnerable population of like young adults. And that goes with OnlyFans, too. It's like you don't really realize the ramifications of this big decision. And I didn't realize OnlyFans comes up on a background check.

No way. Yeah. So because when employers do background checks, they see like what you've done as far as like worked for and W-2s. And so if you have an OnlyFans, it shows up as a W-2. Sid, you got to delete your account. I'm screwed. No, I'm just kidding. I don't have an OnlyFans, but that actually shocks me because I'm like-

Whoa, that would be an awkward conversation and you guarantee that's going to come up later as like a backhanded compliment. I wonder what would happen though because you know how OnlyFans is kind of transitioning a little bit more to like an exclusive like Patreon type of, you know, you can chat with me. It's not even sexual. Like we even debated with our podcast. We're like, oh, and OnlyFans for just people that want to chat. Yeah. Nothing crazy. Yeah.

oh my god what's gonna happen when they apply to any other job it's wild this world y'all it's crazy but okay we've got dinner to go to so we shall be back tomorrow new outfits new stories I gotta find a poop one now because I know your fans and I'll put it at the end for all you non-poop fans don't worry but see you soon

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now, through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes, Gillette Razors, Metamucil, Crest Toothpaste, Secret Body Spray, and a Swiffer Power Mop.

The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details.

Can you see me? No, you can't. Because the chair is boucle and I'm boucle. Oh. Yeah. Hidden girl. It's like camouflage. Camouflage. Boucle? Yeah, boucle. I've never heard of that. Yeah, it's fancy fabric. All of you are going to be asking where the couch is from this episode because I recorded ads and everyone was like, the chair. This is Wayfair. Love. We might be ordering her. My article furniture, though, these other chairs are actually way comfier.

Those ones over there? I could sleep on them. Oh my God. I could sleep on them. This looks better, but not as comfortable. Okay. Good to know. You were looking like you were sleeping. Are there a little blankie? I was so cozy earlier. She was a cozy girl. I was so cozy. Okay. Are we ready to get back into this? Yeah. You have a sister. I do. You have a sister. Okay, good. I have a sister. Here we go.

So this one is 13 hours old. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Insisting My Pregnant Sister Switch Bedrooms With Me?

Throw away because I don't want it connected to my main. My sister and I, both mid-20s females, I'm a few years older, share a house together. It was our parents' house and we both inherited it after they died. We have equal share slash ownership of the house. The house has four bedrooms. One is the master room that has an en suite and walk-in wardrobe. The other three just have built-in robes.

When we both moved back in after deciding that neither of us wanted to sell, we agreed that she could have the master suite, but the two largest of the other bedrooms would both be mine. One as an actual bedroom and the other as a gaming room for me. The last and smallest bedroom is a guest room. Her boyfriend's been living here for a while and she recently told me that she's pregnant.

I'm not particularly looking forward to sharing a house with a screaming baby, but it's her house too, and she has every right to be here and raise her kid. Obviously, the baby will need a bedroom, and I was expecting that to be the guest bedroom. It is the smallest bedroom in the house, but it's still the same size as a standard bedroom.

But my sister wouldn't go for that. She's insisting I move my stuff out of my game room so that can be the baby's room. I told her that I'm not moving my stuff into the guest room because that wasn't our agreement. But then she informed me that actually I won't be able to do that either as she would still need a guest room, especially with the baby coming as her boyfriend's family will want to visit.

So I said, fine, you can have my game room if you move into my room and give me the master room. She started crying and said that as a mother, she's going to need her own space and she deserves the master bedroom. I asked what she expected me to do, and she said I should just suck it up and keep all my crap in my own room.

We're at an impasse, and I can't get her to come to a real agreement with me. She keeps calling me a, quote, huge bitch and says that I should let her have both the master bedroom and my gaming room because she, quote, needs them more. Her boyfriend says I should just deal with it, that because I don't want kids anyways, I should just suck it up.

My girlfriend, who also spends a lot of time here, is on my side and says my sister is being a spoiled, entitled little brat. Am I the asshole? Oh my God. I'm freaking torn. I'm not going to lie. I'm torn. I'm not either. I'm not either. Well, let's hear why you're torn. Okay. Because I think that pregnant people are very emotional. Like you don't quite ration the same. I've heard it from my friends who are pregnant and they're like,

a little confused. You made an agreement though, and I don't think it should be broken. But at the same time, if my sister was pregnant, I don't really care. Like that's like my literal other half. Like I would be sharing the space and I would be like, fine, fine. I mean, it's annoying. You're going to have to do something for me, but fine. Here's, here's what I think. I guess I, I am torn in the sense of who is the asshole in

in the situation, yes. But I'm sorry, how old are they? In their 20s? She has a boyfriend that's living with them and about to have a baby. That sounds like a family. This sounds like it's about to be a family. You guys are in your 20s. I either think you need to sell the house and both move out so you can mend that relationship so you can continue on with both of your lives independently because she has a family and the sister is just like living there then. That's what it feels like. I would feel left out. I would feel...

I'm not a part of this family and I'm just like taking up their space. I feel like I'd be a burden. So yeah, I would...

I know it's the parents' house and it's inherited. Maybe it has some meaning, but maybe sell the house and both move out. That's like immediately what I thought. I think that's probably the most fair because this is supposed to be a 50-50 split. Yeah. This isn't 50. No, definitely not. The pregnant sister is getting 75% of the rooms. She's getting the master bedroom, the second biggest room for the baby's room and the guest suite because her boyfriend's

And the boyfriends there like you're going beyond a 50 50 split and like it is fair right if you and your boyfriend and your baby who are three people and you're taking up a majority of this house you should have a worse room you're gonna get two rooms it's no different you know like and what if your sister did want a kid then.

Like, you know? The insinuation in the conversation of the boyfriend coming in being like, well, you don't want kids anyway. Like, if a guy said that to me, I'd be like, oh, shush. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. I would be pissed. Stay out of it. This is not your house. Is your name on the deed? I'm sorry. You're here just because you knocked up my sister. Uh-huh. And why is it? Shut the fuck up.

up why isn't the boyfriend being like okay well i'm about to have a kid first of all like what's the plan there maybe he could purchase a house or something i'm just i mean how like the housing market yeah the thought like it's terrible cost of living is crazy the fact they were able to agree to like share this and come to terms initially is amazing but you're right like they are growing up they are moving in different directions and

I guess like when you ask yourself long term, what did they expect long term? Because were they expecting this to be full house and everyone lives together? That's confusing. I was getting weird vibes when you mentioned the baby and then the boyfriend. I was like, this is literally a

a family. Well, think about it. It'll be the sister, the boyfriend, the baby, and then likely one to two parents. So that's four to one. I just like... And then if they have other kids... Oh, this is going to stay forever? This is a slow takeover. I feel like she's trying to push her out and get everything she wants. I feel like this pregnant sister is so entitled. And maybe it's the pregnancy hormones just making her a little like... I don't know, like up in herself. But...

I would be really mad if this was my sister doing this to me. I'd be pissed. I'm not saying I wouldn't be. Yeah, no. I just get confused because I'm like, I want the best for my family. So if they're, you know, like...

I mean, they had a kid, they're in their 20s, they don't have a, you know, they're using the space that we share. Sounds like they would have more money in their pocket because it sounds like the house is paid for. So what's going on with that dynamic? I don't know. I'm overthinking it probably, but I would be pissed. Yeah, but it's my sister. So if she wants a space and she needs a space to start her family and get a little bit under her feet, I mean, I'd give it. Even offering like

If you were the pregnant sister and you are slowly taking over this house, probably on purpose, trying to push your sister out and you aren't paying, okay, pay for your sister's rent somewhere then. Yeah. You're getting a cut. You're getting a great deal. If you're still doing 50-50, figure out the money situation, pay for your sister's rent. Yeah. It's...

When there's assets involved, it gets so complex with families. Like, I don't know what I would do in this situation, really, truly. It's hard. I honestly, I think the best solution is to sell and let these two people choose their own lives going forward. But I get the sentimental value of like their family home because I would never want to sell my family home. So it's really tough. But I think the sister needs to get back down to earth because...

She's treating her sibling like shit. She's acting so entitled. And you don't get to have your cake and eat it too. Like you made the decision to have a child.

Now, you know, you can't have everything. The world doesn't revolve around you. It might not. So the top comment on this one, not the asshole about giving up your rooms, but I'm very doubtful this living situation is going to last. She's doing a slow takeover and it will only get worse, especially if she has more kids. So comments are picking up on this stuff too. Have you ever discussed her buying out your share or honestly just selling and getting your own home?

Which like, I mean, this is a four bedroom house. That's a big home. I'm sure it appreciated in value. They could both then maybe it might be a downsize, but hey, that's the sacrifice you make to get your own space. Sounds like this is a new chapter anyway. Like this is really, truly a new chapter for both of them. So yeah, I would definitely consider. Yeah. The next comment down quotes the other comment. She's doing a slow takeover.

And they go, my thoughts as well. But seeing her comment, quote, keep all your crap in your single room, pushing this to the hostile takeover territory. OP, get locks for your rooms. And if buying out or selling is on your mind, bring it to the table. The lock thing is aggressive, I think. They'd get in anyway. I mean, take the door off the hinge. You could.

I don't know if you can without opening the door. Maybe you can't actually. You could kick it down. I'm like looking at a door in the room. Oh yeah, I guess you'd have to. You have to open the door to get access to the hinges. Oh yeah, I guess they're bolted on the inside. Yeah. I didn't know that till right now. Someone quotes OP's original post talking about the sister. She started crying and said that as a mother, she's going to need her own space and she deserves the master bedroom.

Oh, God. Whoa. That one, I'm like, ah, buddy. I kind of like it. Yeah.

Oh my God. Also, a lot of new moms, at least the ones in my life, have had their baby in a bassinet next to their bed for the first six months. I mean, you're regularly feeding. It's easier. You just slide the bassinet over. There's these little devices, especially because like co-sleeping and like some people believe co-sleeping can like

increased SIDS. Like, I mean, there's all these little things, but there's also this device that like attaches to your bed and it's like a little like table that like pushes in and out and you can like, wait, yeah, I don't even have to get out of bed. You just like slide the baby over your boob. I would a hundred percent do that. I've never heard of that before. Yeah. It's like a little attachment for your bed. So you don't have to get up in the middle of the night, turn the lights on, trip over the stairs. Oh my gosh. Well, cause people who sleep with their baby, well, at least in a bassinet, it's safe when they're in the bed, people suffocate their baby a

lot some people say it's okay though some people do co-sleep i mean it's it's scary for me because like if i'm sleep deprived and i finally get sleep i'm dead to the world like i could roll i could sleep on rocks i could fall asleep with the light on sometimes like

And so I get being a new parent, you're so tired and you just like roll and you're like, they're so little. They do it all the time. My friend works in the hospital and they said, she says people come in with their babies who they accidentally took a nap with. And yeah, it's not good. No. And oh my God. The other thing I keep seeing is like those amber teething necklaces are actually so, so dangerous. Wait, what are those? It's like this little teething device that like,

It was like a trendy child device and they're really dangerous. I've seen so many... So you like bite on it for the baby bites? It looks like this, yeah. And so you get it for your baby, but like look how big of a choking hazard that is. Look at that thing. I thought it was anal beads. It does kind of look like that. And so people believe it like helps, like it's made of Baltic amber or fossilized tree resin. Okay. In theory, when a baby wear ones, his body heat triggers the release of...

something to soothe the teething pain. What? How about a little children's Advil or whatever the heck it is? Yeah. And like a ice pack pacifier thing. Chewing on a piece of wood that's a choking hazard. I think I'll go ahead with the child medicine. Yeah. And so a lot of moms that have experienced child loss because of these teething necklaces are now advocating against them.

Because it's like they didn't know. They got it as a gift at their baby shower. I'm so afraid to be a mom. There's just so much information out there. And it's overwhelming. I'm scared. It's amazing that a lot of us are alive. Yeah. Seriously. Because our parents didn't have Google. It's amazing. It's also cool that we have podcasts and like...

just to talk about this stuff because we'll learn as we get older too if any of us have kids and we'll be like okay this is what we're learning this is relevant so as of right now I don't I don't know shit about I don't know how to change a diaper yeah no same Morgan same I don't want to until they're mine Morgan same I nannied since I was like so little maybe I'm just I don't know I would say I'm

I'm impatient about a lot of things, but patience with children, I'm like, it's through the roof. And patience with parents who are stressed, I'm like, it's the different threshold. So maybe that's why I'm giving her sister too much grace. Maybe. But I will say suffocation is the leading cause of death for children under a year old.

I'm telling you. And among the top five causes of death for children between ages one and four. Wow. Just saying. Yeah. That's horrible. Horrible. Oh, can you imagine like, oh, it's just that. Oh, God, no. No, that guilt. Oh, so, I can't even imagine. Oh, God.

There is an edit from OP that they go on to say, she can't buy me out. She doesn't have the money. We each got some money along with the house, but she wanted a fancy Range Rover. So most of hers went to that. And she can't get a loan because she's only working part time at Macca's at the moment. I still have all of my money plus some of my own savings. So I will be having a discussion with her, with her rebuying her out. Yeah.

Sid, you change your mind yet? No, I just, I said it's money related. I said there's clearly something going on there because like if she's at the house with the boyfriend, it sounds like she's like a little preoccupied. It sounded like a part-time gig. I didn't want to say that without like, you know, insinuating anything of work ethic, but

To be honest, this sounds also like a work ethic issue too. The house is located in a nice slash expensive area. So what she gets from me for her half will be enough for her to buy an average three bedroom house in a cheaper area. But why would she want that? She wants to keep them in the good school district. She wants the bougie life. That's why she bought a Range Rover. She's definitely one of those people that is...

outspending her means right now. I won't lie. The sister sounds pretty brutal, but I'm, I, I, but I just let me, I don't know. You can change your mind. It's okay. I have a younger sister. I just, I'm, you're too nice. At times there was immaturity that I just couldn't comprehend, but she's the most amazing human being. So sometimes I feel like you just, you can feel sorry for people before you can feel angry. I don't know.

God, what does it feel like to be so mature? What does it feel like to be nice? I just like, I don't know why, but I feel like I just get so mad for these stories. I just like take on what they're going through. I'm like, the injustice. I just get so mad for them. I'm like, I'd be pissed. I would be so pissed. Like we're supposed to be 50-50, bitch.

It would piss me off. Not 80-20. I'm not saying I wouldn't be pissed. Do you think people ever share your Reddit stories to the other person? Like, by the way, this is what a bystander thinks. Yes. That'd be so funny. Have you heard of people doing that? So we had one story that the lady listened to the podcast. And so I shared her story. And then I think her partner saw her post or something because it went viral. So it was like this whole thing. But... Oh, my God.

Yeah, I think it does happen. I also read a post and then someone like ended up listening to the podcast and heard their post and it's happened. Oh my God, I love that. Juicy. And sometimes we do do listener write-ins and now that we have the subreddit going, like I do do a lot more. These are technically listener write-ins. Yeah.

It's just an easier way to like control the flow. Yeah. So, um, yeah, but what sucks now is, well, it doesn't suck because you know, we're all out here just trying to make it, but a lot of other Reddit podcasts are taking stories off my subreddit and reading and they don't share the subreddit it came from. So you'll have these huge podcasts and they'll lie and just be like, this came from, am I the asshole? Or they won't even, they won't even mention where it came from. And I'm like,

that's from my subreddit like at least at least just like give credit where credits do like i'd work i've worked so hard shade anyone can see your subreddit yeah oh i didn't know that yeah i've looked up reddit and i didn't i mean i've seen stories from there i'm like i don't know where it's coming from so yeah maybe it's like it's very clear like what subreddit you're taking stories from like this one is very clearly am i the asshole so you oh ron tap

So you see like, am I the asshole, the banner? And then if we go to one that's like on mine, it looks like this. So it's very clearly like two hot takes. You know where you're getting the story from. Okay. Wow. Oh, that's shady. That is shady. Well, all out here reading Reddit stories, right? Like I get it, but just like, hey, this is coming from the two hot takes subreddit. But they won't say. And I'm just like, what?

People are terrible. We use Reddit sometimes too, so if we ever do that, call us out, please. We would never. It's all about just giving credit where credit's due. It's no different than people stealing my audio and I have to file copyright claims. We have to do that too. That's what the little mic things are for. I have my own. I just keep forgetting to bring them. I have mine that say Two Hot Takes. Oh, cute. I want to get one of those. You need to. Good idea. Moving along. I hope they figure this out. I hope

OP is able to buy her out because I do think that's the best solution. And the sister is just going to have to get over her ego. Yeah. It's tough working with somebody that's that immature, though. It's tough trying to reason with someone that's that immature. The world is about her. Especially when she's getting information bias, too, from her boyfriend who's like, yeah, yeah, that's my girl. It's like, oh, God, you were so dumb. Anyway. Anyways. Anywho.

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Visit Safeway.com for more details. More house drama. So this one is from Emma the Asshole. It's titled, Emma the Asshole for telling my wife her parents cannot sleep in our bed when they're house sitting. We went out of town. Yeah.

We went out of town a few weeks ago for a wedding, and my in-laws came from out of state to watch our daughter. We have a three-bedroom house with a full guest room and bathroom on the first floor and our master and kids' rooms upstairs. Before moving in with me, my wife used to let her parents sleep in her bed when they would come visit and she would go sleep on the couch.

Well, she asked recently if they could sleep in our master room, and I right away said no. I don't want anyone other than us and our kid in our bed, as it feels weird to me when we have a guest room for, you know, guests. This caused a big fight to happen between my wife and me until she finally caught on to my way of seeing things, but her mom was totally offended at the notion that she was not allowed to sleep in our bed.

Am I the asshole here? Because I don't want my in-laws sleeping in my bed. I asked my own parents about it, and they both said that they would never even think of asking since we have a guest room already available. You are not the asshole. That's weird. I think it's a little bit of like invasion of privacy situation here. I understand if maybe the space isn't like, let's say they had only kids rooms and a master and they don't have a guest room. Yeah, absolutely. You put new sheets on the bed. They enjoy your space.

But if you have a guest room, why are you pretending to live my reality? Like, why do you want to be upstairs? That's weird. Like, I don't know. That's interesting. Yeah. That's a weird take though, but I like that. I don't know. It's yeah. It's like, are they going to have sex in the bed? Yeah, probably. Maybe it's a complex. I don't know. Like what if they're like, Ooh, we, or maybe it brings them back to when they had their little kids and,

You know what I mean? Think of them like playing pretend. It's like playing house kind of. Could be. I don't know. Maybe that's too hot. Maybe that's why we never do that when like in-laws come or whatever is because that's like the underlying issue or the underlying tone. Even if you didn't have a guest bedroom...

and your parents and your in-laws had to stay in the master of where you slept, you would make it so clear, like, hey, I switched the sheets. Like, you would, like, throw that in there, you know? Why would you even want to stay in the room? I don't want my parents to be where I'm having sex with my person. They shouldn't want to be. No. Because... It's interesting. Well, and then, like, we've had Reddit stories in the past where...

This couple went to visit her parents and they're married, right? So they're doing everything right. And the parents were like, you need to sleep on the couch. You can't sleep in the room with your wife or daughter. Like you need to sleep on the couch. They're married. They're married. And so people are like, it's a dominance thing. This feels like a power play. And that is kind of bringing me to this where I'm like, is it a dominance thing where they just want to like, but I'm like that, like, where would they even get that?

I mean, if they have a guest room, their house must be pretty large, likely pretty nice. You know what I mean? Like they've got all these different spaces. Sounds like they have anywhere from four to five bedrooms. Why do you need to sleep? I don't get that. I don't understand. Like that's the toilet I poop in. That's a shower that I shower in. This is the guest space that we specifically created for guests, which you are, even though you're my parent, you're a guest in my home now. Like the roles have reversed now. Like,

No, don't go in there. It's weird. I shared this one with Justin before reading it with you guys because when he has his mom come out, it's different for me because I have a guest room with a pullout and it's fine. But when his parents come out, his mom...

or his dad, like they're separated. But like when they come visit, they'll sleep in his bed and he'll sleep on the couch, which I get. Like he lives with two roommates. So putting his mom on the couch with like two other guy roommates might be kind of weird. So he gives the mom, his mom, the space. But when it's like, that's way different. But when you have a guest room and someone is still insisting to not sleep in the guest room, but like your bed, it's like,

What the fuck is going on? Jordan and I have a guest room right now. And like, if my dad was like, we're going to, I'm going to sleep in your room. I'd be like, no, you're not. What the hell are you talking about? Like, that's weird. I'm like, well, you have a guest room right there. But my parents would never ask that. So it's like, I don't know. This is weird. So crazy. The wife, right? Not girlfriend. The wife also thought she, she thought it was normal. Yeah.

That's what throws me off. So I just, it's not normal. Maybe she was just because it's her parents. She was like, well, yeah, we have to make them comfortable. It's what they want.

And then she took a step back and he was like, no, look at it from this POV. And she's like, oh, you know, it's your parents. Sometimes you're like, oh yeah, they want to do that. That's normal. Totally normal. That's how we grew up. Yeah. Well, and if this is the first guest bedroom she's ever had, then it's also like, well, this is just what I'm used to. Like, it's not weird. It's fine. But it's like, no, you have a guest space now. I have a question for you guys. When you were younger...

and your parents were out of town and they had a king-size bed and you like snuck a guy over did you sleep in your parents bed no absolutely not i thought you were gonna say did you sleep in their bed yeah yeah i did when i was alone no i had a i did one time with a guy do you have sex in your parents beds

You did not. No. Not answering. You had sex in the same place you were created. That's so cute. No, it was a different house. I don't know. Probably the same bed. Same mattress for sure. That's really cute. Good for you. What a connection you and your parents have. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Oh my gosh. No, I have never.

I know. I had a queen bed starting, though, at like 13. So like there was also no need. I had my own. There's a Tempur-Pedic, OK? Yeah. Dang it. I can't afford that. More cushion for the push. Exactly. Top comment on this one is make other plans for child care. The in-laws wanting to sleep in your bed, not the one would assume perfectly lovely and comfortable guest room.

well, it's a dominance game and you don't have to play. But why is that a sign of... I'm just like, I get it. It's like a power play, but...

how does that like like it's there's Matt it's the master they're still in control like that used to be the kids you know what I mean like they that was you're my kid you're my child still like no we're if we want to be upstairs your mother and I we're gonna be upstairs it's kind of like one of those the only I feel like it's more entitlement yeah the only other thing I can think of that would be

That would maybe give me the inkling like, okay, maybe I'm on their side would be if the kid was young and was like afraid at night and they wanted to be in the right spot, wanted to be close. And maybe the guest bedroom was, you know, in a different area. Right. But yeah, that was the only thing I was thinking. I'm like, if it's a baby. Yeah. As older parents, like maybe, you know, depending on how old they are, if they're 70, like trying to get up the stairs quickly towards the baby is hard. Exactly. How old is the kid?

Like, what are we dealing with here? It's still weird. Which they don't mention how old their daughter is. So. Old enough. Yeah. I'm curious. Very curious. It's peculiar. Peculiar. Okay. Are we ready to get to the poop? Yeah. Let's do it. Trigger warning. Poop. You want to know what we do when we test our mics? Let's show them. Pee pee. Poo poo. Pee pee.

pee pee poo poo pee pee just back and forth like that that's good you're wondering that's very good she does it more i can usually go pee pee poo poo yeah pee pee poo poo yeah okay so this one is three months old okay it's been out a minute it is titled am i the asshole for canceling my son's birthday party because my mother-in-law left poop on my toothbrush what i want to hear this

Oh, God.

However, she did not clean up after and there was poop all around the sink on the toothpaste, on the toothbrushes and the little cups that the kid use when brushing their teeth. I have pictures if you guys really want to see. No, no, I don't want to see that. We can talk about poop. We don't have to see it. I want to see it. Well, I'm curious how messy is messy. No, it sounds like it's messy enough. I don't need to see a picture.

Well, like little baby poop just looks like chocolate. Like, okay, Mrs. You can't change a diaper. Yeah, let me look at the poop. That's the smell, Marceau. And like the fear of getting it on my hands. Oh, God, don't say that out loud. Under the nails. Okay. Okay.

This has happened before, but it's the first time we said anything. When my wife called her mom to be more careful because it's obviously disgusting and gross, my wife is Hispanic, so her tone can definitely be aggressive, especially to a gringo like myself, but her mom seemed to understand the frustration. However, once her sisters, both in their 30s and single for good reason, caught wind that my wife belittled their mother, all hell broke loose.

The sisters began defending the mother, calling out how dirty slash messy our house is, calling my wife fat and basically saying how lucky we are to have the mother-in-law in our life and it's no big deal. In fact, we're the assholes for being upset about this.

I guess the sisters got to my mother-in-law because then mother-in-law came back and started parroting the same talking points about how messy our house is, how ungrateful my wife is, and how my mother-in-law cleans our house and cooks for the kids all the time.

The five-year-old son was also at her house this weekend and had an accident where he Hershey squirted on the bed because he's sick. That was also thrown in our face multiple times. I was so confused for a second. I was like, oh, he likes chocolate. I did say poop looks like chocolate. They also referred to watching our kids as favors, which is weird because they always ask to take them.

My mother-in-law says she won't come ever again to watch the kids. She no-showed today, so I had to call out today to watch the baby, which is fine. However, I don't like how the mother-in-law is affecting my job and career with her pettiness, as I had some important stuff scheduled today. Keep in mind, we pay her $300 cash a week to watch the kids. Now, I'm going to pay about $150 more per month for someone to watch the kids, which is no big deal, really.

However, my son's birthday is tomorrow. They had a big old party planned at my mother-in-law's for Saturday. However, I have told everyone that I will not be attending the party and we have barred her family from seeing, giving gifts, or even speaking to the kids for the time being. Am I the asshole for canceling my son's party and not allowing my wife's family to celebrate his birthday on Saturday? A little pettiness in there. I read...

Okay. I'm like, Sid, you have to go first. Okay, fine. You are the asshole for canceling the birthday party and withholding somebody, their family, from seeing their family. The child is not involved in the drama. The child's butthole is involved, yeah. The child is not involved in the drama. So don't, don't...

start that insinuation and that behavior however leaving shit in a bathroom that's actually dangerous because of those germs and those the bacteria and stuff like that on your toothbrush imagine if it was dark and i was brushing my teeth in the dark seriously but that okay here's here's what i immediately thought about let's say so you were over my cat threw up are you gonna leave it

You're just going to leave it. If I was at your house and you were gone, I would take accountability because it happened when I was there. Yeah, exactly. Like you're not going to leave a dirty mess just because it's... And it's my problem. You know what I mean? Like that's icky. That's... And you're watching your house sitting and there's puke everywhere. Like clean it up. It's disgusting. And you got to fix the situation. That'd be like babysitting someone. Babysitting a kid. This has happened to me actually. The kid pooped shit all over the bathroom. And...

if I just cleaned up him and then the mom came back and I'm like, yeah, he should. I cleaned him up, but it's like all over the bathroom. Like as the babysitter, you would, I'm sorry. It happened when you were there. You would clean it up. Yeah. Or you could say, so yeah, again, didn't take accountability for it. Didn't clean it up. I'm like so scared. I'm like not agreeing to pet sit or watch kids because the cat puke thing, like Justin, his roommate has a dog. And so I was over there the other day and the dog all of a sudden just like threw up. Oh, I hate watching animals throw up. And I was just like,

I'm not cleaning that up. And he goes, I didn't ask you to. And the dog's owner was gone. He wasn't there. So me and Justin brought her out to the studio with us so she had attention. And I'm like, I was doing a good deed by giving this dog attention and throwing a ball. But I didn't sign up for that. And this is the hard part where...

Horse poop. I could pick that up any day of the week. Like give me, give me a pitchfork. I could do that all day, every day, but dog poop and putting your hand in the plastic baggie and then feeling it. We're going on the same way and cleaning up their puke. Like I don't,

I don't know how I'm going to have my own dog because anytime my dog does that, I literally look at my dad and I go, Holly pooped on the rug. Holly puked. And I make him clean it up. Like, I'm so bad. Because if I try, I throw up. Like, I've literally had to, like, run to the bathroom and puke. I, like, throw up every time. The warmness. Yeah. I cannot do... I don't... I used to have... I...

My parents had like chores for us and like Saturdays I'd have to go around the yard and pick up dog shit. And that was okay because it was like rock hard. True. If it's fresh. If it's hard, I'm fine. I'm fine. If it's fresh, I can't do it. I will not do it either. I clean litter boxes, dude. That's a next level. Like that's, that is next level.

Is it hard poop? It smells. It's one of the most disgusting smells. You're actually not supposed to clean litter boxes when you're pregnant because of the fumes. Toxoplasmosis. Yep. The fumes are so toxic to your body. So that's one thing. Ew.

Jordan gags when he cleans it, by the way. He literally gags the whole time he's doing it. So I usually have to go down there and finish it. See, if I had a cat, I'd get the robotic cleaner. We do have the robotic cleaner. You still have to take the bag out of the bottom. It's still nasty smelling. Bummer. What do you think about the situation? I'm wondering if the mom, the mother-in-law, has glaucoma or some sort of visual impairment. Because if this has happened before...

Like, I'm wondering if she just can't see it. Well, did they ask her? Why don't they just ask her and be like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't see it. That was all you have to fucking do. That was the pettiness, though. I just think, like, there... And I will say, like...

I do think a lot of times when you have family watching your kids, even though they're paying her $300 a week, $300 a week is still way cheaper than daycare. I was just going to say that was $300 a week. That was a red flag to me. How long is this mother-in-law watching the kids? Because I was like, that's not a lot to be honest. Well, and if it's just like bringing them to school and picking them up from school and it's like an hour every day, okay, $300 is pretty good. But like,

it doesn't sound like that she's actively taking care of them and you know whatever so I'm like I think you're you're kind of you know biting the hand that feeds you a little bit there with the way you went off on her versus being like hey did you happen to notice there was poop all over our bathroom just you know this isn't the first time it's happened we I'm just wondering like did you not see it like what's you know what's really going on here like this is still your mom and it just like pop off like yeah it's gross yeah it's frustrating but like hey

Throw away your toothbrush, get a new one, throw away the head if it's an electric one. Like,

You're like, you know what I mean? Like you have to have like some tact as you're going about this. I agree. I don't know. Like the mom is grandma, I guess, whatever is doing a lot for you. Like a lot, like showing up like that. And then for you to go and handle it, probably poor communication. Sounds like you got a little feisty, attacked her a little bit. And now you're expecting her to react in a positive way. You know, like you should have just brought it up as a, as an adult and been like, I'm so grateful for,

for all the help you're doing for us. But it is a health hazard when you leave poop literally scattered on my toothbrush. I could have gotten a disease. Yeah. I'm not angry. I'm a little disgusted. Did you see that you were... Did you forget to clean up the mess? Did you see it? Probably. Yeah. I'm also wondering if there's maybe a little more drama under the surface and this just kind of... The shit blew up and it blew it all up. Yeah. Because...

I could see that, especially by a lot of the comments OP makes where he's like both in their 30s and single for good reason. Like talking shit about her siblings. Oh, that's what? Whoa. OP said that about his wife's sisters. Like they're single for good reason. Exactly. Oh my God. And then what's interesting here is the comment from him too. They also referred to watching our kids as favors, which is weird because they always ask to see them.

And I think that's what's hard when you ask family for help. Like, at what point is it like you've kind of over... You've overstepped how many times you can ask? Yeah. But like, yes, he's paying her. But like, is Graham asking like, I'd love to see them this weekend. But it's like, no, she's watching them full time. So like, that is kind of a favor. So...

It's very complex. It's a complex situation, too. If the mother-in-law really wanted to watch the kids and she was like, oh, but we asked to watch them. I don't even get... Is it weird to be paying your mother-in-law to watch your grandbabies? Or your... You know, that's... I don't... I think it depends on are you taking away from time where she would maybe have a part-time job or be doing something for herself? You could make it a little more enticing with a little cash, especially knowing how much you're saving. Like, I don't think that's too weird, really. But...

if she's not begging to see the kids. Imagine how exhausted maybe she is. Maybe she's just exhausted. I mean, like, I wouldn't leave poop everywhere, but like, I'm not tired of watching three small kids under the age of five. Three kids and it sounds like she's cooking, doing laundry. Yeah, okay. That's exhausting. And then, well, and then to bite back and be like, well, no, you know what? To punish you for you getting upset with the way we treated you, we're canceling the birthday. Even though they're hosting it at the grandma's house. Yeah.

because the grandma probably wanted to host and celebrate the children even with the family drama and then the the dad's like no we're not like that's bad it's just getting to the point where it's like where do you see this going long term do you think canceling a birthday is gonna lead to a happy healthy outcome for your family no you're creating more drama yep sacrifice people it's your family come on over a little poop what do you think the overall vote on this one is

I think there's a lot of entitled parents out there, so I think the majority vote is no, but I'm definitely in the yes. That's a good take. The overall vote on this one is not the asshole. Not the asshole. I mean, when we read it right away, we all said not the asshole, right? No, the whole time I've kind of been leaning towards asshole. Okay.

And I don't know why. I just get this vibe where I watch... And my brother and his wife, they mix it up. Her parents will watch their kids. My grandma, my mom will then help. It definitely is a village. But I have known other families where it's one person and they really get taken advantage of. And it's just like... It's kind of hard to see. And so I just... Maybe I'm a little biased in that read on this, but...

It just... That's a surprising vote. That's close. That's close. Yeah. Well, okay. So the top comment, which is like long, but has 7,000 upvotes. Your mother-in-law didn't bother to clean up unhygienic material from your house and is blaming you for having an unclean house. I did forget that. She was kind of dishing. I forgot about that little piece of info. But that is more the sisters who went off and said, your house is dirty. You're fat.

So that's bad. That is bad. Maybe it's maybe this isn't everyone sucks here. Yeah, everyone's. Maybe just everyone sucks. I still I'm still going to stand like if the original question is, am I the asshole for canceling the birthday party? Yes, you are. That's my vote. Yeah. They go on to say, no, that's on her. Your kids could have gotten sick from her behavior. Oh, wait, they are. Hmm.

Your kids are sick and the mess they make is somehow your fault when mother-in-law is the one doing the caregiving. No, it's not. This isn't the first time such things have happened.

Mm-hmm.

the sisters, and they attacked your wife and you, insulted you both, etc. Not the asshole. This is about not spending time with the people that blame and insult you for the things that someone else did. They have behaved badly and are blaming you. That's not people who are healthy to have around your children. I wouldn't want to have them around to do more of the same thing on your child's birthday either.

Protecting your child and having a birthday that doesn't include people that blame you for the behavior of your mother-in-law, that's just being a good parent. Having such people around for a birthday would spoil the birthday, and it would teach your children to blame others for their own behaviors. Wow. I don't know about that. That seems... I don't know about that. I'm not going to lie. Personally, that seems like a lot. Yeah. The kids are not involved. I'm telling you right now, I'm going back to the original question. It's about the damn birthday party. Yeah. The

The kids are not involved. Don't cancel something and ruin someone's birthday that has no clue what's going on. That's the original question. Is the family an asshole? Yeah, sounds like it. They're dirty too. They got poop flying everywhere. But don't cancel the birthday party. I don't know. The oldest is five. Why are you involving the kids? Do you think the kids really know what's going on? They don't. They don't know. They know that they're not going to have a birthday.

Listen, I've got friends and family of friends that like I later found out they're not a great person, but they still allowed me to see them. I didn't I was I was a kid. How would I know? Like and they still let me enjoy the normal family dynamic until I figured out and was old enough to comprehend that my family wasn't normal, you know, or like different situations like that. Yeah. I just I don't know. I'm like, I do see the point where.

like her incompetence, like this happened multiple times. But then that really leads me like, okay, is something going on with her? Like, is she having cognitive issues? Is she having a visual impairment? I feel like there's more going on here. She might just be tired. Like truly. Sounds like, sounds like it's an exhausting cycle. She's doing all that. That's three kids cooking, cleaning, washing their house, like picking up the load for them. Like,

She sounds tired. Yeah. Grandma's tired. She's an older woman. Yeah. Real tough. Ugh. Good luck to you guys. Seriously with that. Yeah. Yeah.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now, through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes, Gillette Razors, Metamucil, Crest Toothpaste, Secret Body Spray, and a Swiffer Power Mop. The more you buy, the more you save.

Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. Okay, this is the last one. It's another poop one. It is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's titled My Personal Poop Disaster. Oh, God. Huge fan of the podcast and know what a huge fan they are of poop stories. So here's my most embarrassing story to date.

I work in construction. I'm often the only female on a building site. Last year, I was working on a building site where I was based out of for a while. Our building site had a large compound for welfare facilities, which included a canteen and a large toilet block and a separate block where they had a women's toilet, which I always kept locked and had a key.

Anyways, we shifted the toilets around to another part of the building site using a crane, and about an hour after they were landed in their new place, nature called. I went for a poop, and then went on about my day. Our site office is located opposite the toilet block. All the site guys are outside smoking when I hear one of them shout, quote, "'Oh my God, is that a massive shit on the floor?'

Wait. Okay.

That's fucking great. I'm the only female on site. But there had been occasions when I left the door unlocked and some of the men would use the ladies. The day before, I'd had a huge row with a roofer for using the ladies and not cleaning it up. Instead of owning up to it, I played dumb. Went out site and the site manager was like...

have you seen the massive shit on the floor? Jesus. I was like, ew, what? He pointed to it and went, oh, those fucking roofers have been in the ladies again, haven't they? Absolutely disgusting. Woo!

Oh! Oh!

To this day, it's the most embarrassing thing I've ever had happen. I think I'm more embarrassed that I let another man clean up my poop while I stood there shaking my head in disgust, acting horrified at him using my toilet. Oh my gosh. At first, at first I was like,

Okay, I would probably do the same thing she did, but then it just kind of spiraled. It just kept going downhill. Cleaning it up. Yeah, that took it too far. But I would like as I would love the sarcasm just to be like, you know what girls poop? What you're going to do? Y'all fucked up the plumbing. Like that could have been like a vibe. But then when he cleaned it up, I'm like, oh God, how big was it? I don't know. Yeah, she must have had. She laid a log. She laid. Sounds like Sid this morning. Hey.

Mine's never that solid. No. That's digestion issues. Sid literally gave me like

hands this morning like showed me with her hands i have a good digestive system yeah a lot of fiber lots of fiber apparently i will poop yourself though i have yeah this wasn't as bad this is not as bad as pooping yourself no not even close how did you poop yourself oh god well what time which one there's been multiple oh yeah we've both how many times i used to have like literally onset colitis like

So I couldn't control it. Like, I'm not kidding you when I would tell you it felt like I was giving a child like birth cramps and I could not control my bowels. Like it hurt so

So severe that my my butt would release like it was like horrible. I feel like wow we get sharts Often, I don't shirt anymore Now that my tummy feels like you just told me like six months ago and I did too I feel like i've grown since then. Yeah So how many times have you both pooped yourselves? Oh, I Total yeah

Maybe 10. Yeah, same. Probably 10. She's shocked. Why do you think we have a podcast that literally we talk, we literally say girls poop tagline. I mean, I have a friend that's pooped herself twice, both from like running incidents. She was running. Mine has a lot to do with exercise. Oh my God. 10. Mine was, I had really bad, like severe stomach issues for a while. Okay. So what's the worst one? What's like the worst, most embarrassing one? Oh, your massage one was good. Oh,

I don't even remember it because it was so uncomfortable. The trauma, you blocked it out. I do remember it kind of, but I have another one. Mine are usually good situations. I've made my boyfriends bring me extra pants because I shit myself after an energy drink. Do I have one that you can think of right off the bat? Most of the time, the reason why this happens is you can't always trust a toot. That's the moral of the story. It is. Yeah.

Yeah. So you just after you drink, you get the dad's after drinking shits. You just had to be careful when you do. Yeah. I did go to a friend's house after having barbecue while knowing that my tummy is not OK. And I was in white shorts. Oh, and I got there. And were you like one of the marathon runners where it goes down your leg? No, thank God. It was just like a little cute little like it looked like I was wearing like a little diaper, except I was like 14. So I wasn't wearing a diaper. You know, we've had so many people share stories about like being stuck in the car.

And you just can't hold it. I mean, Harry yesterday. Oh, my God. Okay. So the girls had Harry Jelzy on their podcast. So if you want to see this episode, it's hilarious. And you absolutely should. But Harry shared a story about pooping his pants as he was carrying drinks back to a table. And instead of setting the drinks down and excusing himself to the bathroom to empty his pants of the poop log, he sat down at the table and squished his poop.

in his pants just because the girl was like sit down and he's like okay and just sat I'm like oh my god Harry why would you not just go to the bathroom aren't you worried about it smelling yeah like clean it up as quick as you can Harry I'd be like I can't I gotta pee so bad I've been up there for so long what about you

I've never pooped myself. Never once. We, our boyfriends both said they never pooped themselves and we didn't believe them. Jordan did end up pooping himself. He's allergic to oysters. He didn't know. Oh, that'll get you. I have had like really bad like stomach things lately. Like I got food poisoning at the state fair this past year. From what? I think it was this drink that had egg whites in it.

Why do I know this? Did you tell me this? I'm not sure. It's the only thing that I had different than my boyfriend who we were all like, we were splitting everything together. And mine, when I smelled my cup, it smelled like fish. And I should have known something was off. And so later that night, like eight hours later, I was like,

peeing out my butthole oh no and I could not leave the toilet and that that was me two weeks ago yeah if there would have been a time for me to poop my pants it would have been that like I I'm surprised I didn't poop the bed like I woke up and I was sweating I was like oh my god oh my god

Actually, that was me a week ago now that I think about it. I thought I had an ovarian cyst. Oh, yeah. Wasn't an ovarian cyst. Went to the doctor. Hard piece of poop stuck inside. Yep. Just chronic constipation. Yeah. We all... I need... I'm booking my colonoscopy. Like my stomach's so bopped up. I just... I got to get it booked. Booked.

colonoscopy before 30 yeah it's all the craze all of us have had it all of us have had an early one whoo I haven't had one yet hot girls have IBS I'm saying but that's the thing yeah so like if you're a hot girl with IBS get a colonoscopy and also check what you're eating maybe you're not eating enough maybe you're not eating on a regular schedule maybe you binge maybe you restrict there's so many things that go into why you have issues yeah not a fiber

You guys, thank you for coming out to LA. Thank you for coming on my show. Where can everyone find you? We're going to be at Straight Candid Podcast on all platforms, actually. Every single one, including the web. I'm at CandidSid. The web. The web. I'm at CandidSoph. And Morgan, thank you for everything. You guys, Morgan has literally been our savior.

Our grace. She is currently our Jesus. We look up to her. We could pray to her. I'm going to pray to her every single night. No. Oh my God. No. You know when you have somebody who just like plops into your life for a reason, like that's literally Morgan. Truly, seriously. And by the way, we don't just talk about poop, people. Like if you even made it this far, if you're still listening, we definitely like allude to the fact that girls poop because they do. We sometimes have embarrassing poop stories, but we talk a lot of

We've got substance on there, you guys. Yeah, you've got a lot of great episodes with dermatologists, gynecologists. Sex therapists. OBGYNs. You've got it all. Yeah. But no, just to wrap this up, like we do, like I am so appreciative of you. And like Sid said, there's a reason for everyone that kind of enters in your life. And I've never met, y'all don't get to hear people hype Morgan up this much. And I just have to tell you, like you are multifaceted. You are. You're my best friend.

You're making me cry. I know, but you're so intelligent, so driven. This girl works her fucking ass off. Thank you. So y'all listeners, keep supporting. We love Two Odd Takes. They stand for everything good and they treat their... her...

and community. Yeah. With a lot of respect. So, and she shares, that's the biggest thing is people get territorial and when they succeed, yes, Morgan literally just gives back. Like she's like, here, let me help you. So you can also succeed versus being, I'm going to push you down. So I can raise on the top. Yeah. That's Morgan. I love you girls. We love you.

Oh, thanks for having us. That was really fun. Thank you. You little Too Hot Takes Reddit people out there. You guys crazy. You guys are crazy. Until next time, guys. Bye. Bye. Be sure to head over to Patreon for an exclusive story from this episode. Love you guys.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Take care of yourself this summer and save on all your personal care favorites. Now, through August 27th, save up to $3 or more when you purchase participating personal care items like Pampers Wipes, Gillette Razors,

Metamucil, Crest Toothpaste, Secret Body Spray, and a Swiffer Power Mop. The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details.