Home
cover of episode #475 - Crashing A Wedding

#475 - Crashing A Wedding

2024/11/4
logo of podcast The Basement Yard

The Basement Yard

Key Insights

Why did the hosts initially think 'Shripes' was a slur?

They thought it might be a new, cool slur used against Hispanic people.

What does Frank consider himself in terms of sensitivity?

He considers himself a good sensitive person, not in a bad way.

What is Frank's opinion on pointing?

He doesn't like it when someone points at him.

Why does Joe think Frank interprets sensitivity as a bad thing?

He believes Frank has toxic masculinity.

What is Frank's drink of choice for starting a wedding?

He might start with a margarita or a spicy martini if the vibe allows.

What does Joe notice about Frank's preference for drinks?

Joe notices Frank's fondness for spicy margaritas.

What is Frank's move at a top-shelf open bar wedding?

He tries to get a drink for every premium spirit available.

Why does Frank think guests should take advantage of an open bar at a wedding?

He believes guests should celebrate and try new drinks they've always wanted to taste.

What is Joe's preferred drink to start a wedding with?

He likes to start with a dirty martini, especially if it has blue cheese olives.

What does Joe plan to do if he sees a pig in a blanket at the cocktail hour?

He might flip a table if there are no pigs in a blanket.

What is Joe's least favorite part of weddings with the lake people?

He dislikes the performance of 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light'.

What does Joe think about the nudity in art?

He believes nudity has always been a part of art, but finds some modern interpretations strange.

What is Joe's opinion on movie theater etiquette?

He believes in being self-deprecating and apologetic when moving through a crowded theater.

What does Joe think about the new movie theater recliners?

He dislikes them because they have mechanized armrests that prevent cuddling.

What is Joe's take on No Nut November?

He finds it funny and notes that the body resorbs semen if not released, preventing swollen testicles.

What is Joe's idea for pants with a thigh tattoo window?

He suggests pants with a stitched window to show off a thigh tattoo, calling them Picture Perfect Pants.

What does Joe think about the character of the Penguin in the TV show?

He finds Colin Farrell's portrayal of the Penguin to be exceptionally well-written and enjoyable.

Chapters

The hosts discuss their plans for drinking at an upcoming wedding, including their preferred drinks and strategies for managing their alcohol intake.
  • Hosts plan to start with specific drinks like Scotch or whiskey.
  • They discuss the etiquette of tipping well at an open bar.
  • The conversation includes humorous anecdotes about past wedding experiences.

Shownotes Transcript

Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. Shripes. Whoa, whoa, oh yeah, alright. I didn't know if that was like a new, like, cool, like, slur that you were gonna use at Hispanic people by just calling me Shripes. I don't know, I can't keep up with it. You guys are coming up with new stuff all the time. I say you guys. I haven't come up with a new slur ever.

You saved yourself there. You haven't come up with a new slur ever. You just use the ones that you've already heard of. Okay, you're enough. You're done. You're done. You're done. You're done. You kind of walked into that one. Also, I don't know what it says about me. I don't like the pointing. What? That someone's pointing at you? Yeah. You're sensitive. I don't think I'm sensitive. You don't think you're sensitive. I think, all right, I am pretty sensitive. Thank you. But not in like you're saying it in a bad way. I think I am a good sensitive person.

Who said it in a bad way? I said you're sensitive. You said it in a bad way. You chose to interpret it as bad because you have toxic masculinity. Here's fucking therapist Joe. Toxic masculinity. It's not toxic masculinity. My masculinity is very... You could drink it and you'd be fine, bitch. Okay, but if I say you're sensitive, why is that a bad thing? You interpret it as bad. Do you think it's weird? Because 90% of the things that you say on here are meant to insult me, bitch. You just called me a bitch.

How are you?

I don't know. I'm cutting you off now. I'm cutting you off. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Jesus Christ. It's my fault. I'm doing well. I'm very excited for the wedding that we have as of recording this weekend. We're going to unloose. Unloose? I thought you were going to say unloob, and I was like, what does that mean? No, I'm getting ready to fucking... Yeah. A little of this, baby. A little of this. I'm going to get my hips going. How...

Frank, I'm going to get the hips going. Trust me. Yeah, we're going to cause a whirlpool. Now, here's the thing. We're men of a certain age now. We need to plan what our drink of choice is going to be throughout the night. What are you starting with? What are you going to go for fucking the marathon with, babe? Okay, let's...

Let's do what we're gonna start with. All right. I always... First. Same time. Ready? Well, hold on. Wait. Are we... Because here's the thing. You and I are both groomsmen. Right. We're technically gonna be starting before the wedding. Tomorrow, yeah. So... Which is the day before the wedding. Right. You just threw it out there. Yes. So...

What are we considering the start? Cocktail hour? No, I mean, I have to officiate, so I can't get ham-sauced. Well, that's why I said cocktail hour. Isn't cocktail hour before? No, it's after, Joey. That is true. Yeah, Joey. You know what? You're good at this.

Yeah. It's... Ceremony. Ceremony, cocktail hour. Receptions. They fit the cock right in between the party and the serious stuff. Yeah, you do. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then the reception. Okay. You know. If I don't see a pig's in a blanket at this cocktail hour, I will flip a table. I think... I have hope because I think people are realizing like, I think this is going to be a really beautiful wedding. I think it's a... It sounds like it's a really classy establishment. It's classy. Pigs in a blanket...

It has far-reaching effects. Yes. It could be dirt cheap. It could be classy. It could be everything in between. It all depends on what you have for the sauce. Well, they probably won't call it pigs in a blanket. They'll probably call it like, you know, like cocktail frank in a puff pastry. Yeah, yeah. Like, just be who you are, bitch. Tell us what it is, baby. Be who you are, you dumb bitch. You're still a gutter slut under all those fucking layers. Yeah, you're just a little pig wrapped up in a little nice blanket. What's wrong with that? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

But what drink is your drink to start the cock hour? I was going to cock hour. I was going to start with a little drink called anything. Okay. You know what I may do if it's allowed? I don't know what kind of like vibe we have, but like if it's like, you know, it's so busy and everyone's blah, blah, blah, then I might just like start with like a Marg or like a B.

I have noticed something about you from the many dinners and times that we've been on the tour and stuff like that. You're a big fan of Spicy Marks. So I could see a Spicy... If they tell you, like, we're starting off with Spicy Marks. Sure. You're going for it. Yeah. Or... Uh-oh. Hello. Hi. I might just be like...

fucking Sprestine. Ooh. Espresso Martino. Because you'd be that you Espresso. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like what's her name? Sabrina. Carpenter. Carpenter. Yeah. You could be that you. You think her family were carpenters back in the day and that's why that's her last name? I mean, that's where most of names come from is like they were just given the name based off their occupation. Which is interesting now because she could not be less of a carpenter. I mean, you never know. We don't know how, you know, like. That's fair. We don't know. That was kind of.

What's about being sexist? She's a pop star. I mean, a pop star could be many things. A lot of people don't realize, you know, look at Harrison Ford, legendary actor. He got started because he was a carpenter, a union carpenter. A lot of people didn't know that. Wow. Yeah, well, there you go, bitch. I rescind. I rescind. So Sabrina Carpenter. She could be very good with carpentry. Maybe it's like a rite of passage. Like to be in that family, you need to know how to like build like a small desk or something. Yeah.

Unlikely, because I don't think that's how last names work. But yeah, no, it's fair. But like Sidney Sweeney works on cars. What the fuck is that? She's a mechanic? Well, she comes from a white family, so that's pretty on brand. Same, but I can't fix a car. I can barely drive it. Okay. I mean, your words, not mine. If I popped a hood, I'd be like, I don't even know. I've done that before where things have gone awry in my car and I've popped the hood to look. What am I looking at? As if I would know what's going on.

What I'm looking at. Yeah, I'm looking for fire. As long as there's not a fire. An active fire, yeah. Or like something that's like clearly broken. I'll pick up a dipstick to impress a girl or something. You know what I mean? Oh, really? Yeah, like if there's a girl there, I'd be like, oh, we got to just test this out, you know? I'm always pissed off to, oh, yes. See, I married, you know, Becca is very like...

I was gonna say handsy. She is. Whoa. I'm feeling it. Nice. You know what I'm saying? But like, she's very good with like, handiwork around the house because her father was a carpenter. Look at this. Wow. But. Well, also someone has to be. Well, fuck you. Fuck you all the way. But like, I can't do like stuff like that. Yeah. If I were to pop a hood, she would probably be able to come over and be able to like figure something out. Yeah. I'd be slamming a wrench against it. That's all I'd be doing. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not working. Here's my, you know, my, my, my, my move here. Normally I start, if it's an open bar, top shelf wedding, I try to get a drink for every of the premium spirits. I always, yeah, I always do that.

How many drinks is that? I guess why I get very drunk at these things, Joey. Good lord. Dominic's wedding, I was eviscerated. Hold on. So you do rum, whiskey, tequila. Rum, whiskey, scotch, tequila, vodka. Scotch? You took a scotch at a wedding? Oh, yeah. You don't remember at Dom's wedding, I was pounding a Bud Light and I had a glass of Johnny Blue. Sick person. If it's an open bar, I always tip well. Frank.

Frank, if the wedding... No. Of course it's open bar. No, no, no. If it wasn't, I'm raising hell. I know. Well, first of all, knowing the two people whose wedding it is, it's open. It's open bar. That bar has been open for a week. And their families. Yeah. I'm going to say this. If you're having premium top shelf,

At an open bar. Right. You, as a guest, have to celebrate. You need to take advantage of that. If there's something you've always wanted to try, have it! What are you gin? What are you gin? A GT, baby. I'm an easy boy. I always start with swamp water, Shrek piss, dirty martini. Yeah, you love that. Three olives. If they have blue cheese olives, I may kill myself. Yeah. If they have garlic olives, someone is going to get murdered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it might be the dance floor. Right.

I then go to, depends on how I feel. Oh, Marg? Okay, maybe. You know, I can even do like- Something that requires me to lick the rim. Fuck with that. That's- Okay, okay. You know what I mean? Right. You like licking the rim too. Well, we're talking about drinks right now. We're talking about drinks. And I didn't know what I was saying until you just gave me that look. But that's what I mean. You're a rim licker. The day you die, right, bitch? I can't put it on my tombstone. Honestly? That's a good man right there, baby. Hey, man. But-

Yeah. I'm fine. Bro, give me a playful drink. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. If this thing is smoking...

I mean, it's a wedding. They're not going to make a smoky drink, right? No, bitch. It's Long Island. That's true. I don't know. They might be feeling freaky. This is prime wedding season. He's got a good job, maybe. They both do well for themselves. Pay for some smoke. I also got to be realistic. The amount that I'm probably consuming and the wedding gift, I'm probably over what I'm giving. You're in the hole. You're in the hole. I'm in the red. Yeah, 100%. Here's the thing. If I'm going to do a martini to start, I'm going to have to do...

That's the best way to start if you ask me. You went, ooh. Yeah, I'm going to start like that because I can't hold a martini later on. Exactly. That's why you start with a dainty glass. Yeah. Because... It looks classy. It looks classy and you can walk around cocktail hour. You're not sweating yet. Not sweating, not dancing. When it comes to full-on dancing... Yeah. You don't care and you're not dropping a glass. Don't be that person that drops a glass on the dance floor. Can't have that. You could drop a beer glass...

A beer bottle? Because the thing holds it all together. And for the most part, it's pretty sturdy glass. If it falls on hard wood or linoleum, whatever those dance floors are made of, it's going to be okay. But I'm ready. I'm ready too. The reality is we'll probably start with some scotch or whiskey. Knowing whose wedding it is. We is a little crazy. Oh, you mean like in the bridal suite? Yeah, yeah. There'll probably be a big fat whiskey there. Oh, I need to find my flask.

You should have had. Yeah, I got mine. I know. I just got to make sure I bring it. I forget. I don't really, I've never really drinking. Oh, I flashed it up. You would. I flashed it up. I've gotten it like a big thing when, when I was in college, uh, was drinking out of a flask. Well, we did like sorority for fraternity and sorority formals, which were just weddings, but no one was getting married. It was just a party. It's just a dance. It was just, yeah. Yeah. And, uh,

We had flasks, but we would also pay the people to like just... We'd be like, yo, here's 40 bucks. Give me a wristband, whatever. But a big thing was gummy bears infused in vodka or any alcohol. So I have walked around sorority formals and fraternity formals with a pocket of like a Tupperware. Frankie, don't say this. Just filled with gummy bears. Thank you. Hold on.

You're telling me in college...

You walked around a party getting drunk off of gummy bears? Well, let's be very clear. I was also way drunk before I got to these parties. Okay. And then I just kept it going by just chewing on them. How did you fit a Tupperware in your pocket? Not a full like this size. You know how they make the Tupperwares that are kind of longer and skinnier? Yeah. They almost look like a glasses case. Right. You could fit that in your pocket. And I did. Both breast pockets. You had a double breast shirt on? Jacket.

And I know you. Suits were not cheap. And I know you. You were definitely pawning those things off too. Oh, you want some? And you were fucking passing them around. If you know me, first of all, life from the near 30 years of knowing me. You need to have everything Frankie has. I like to share. I like to share. That's what I'm saying. I like to share. He's like, yo, you got to try these pancakes. Really, you got to try them. He'll push them four times before he stops.

He needs you to try it. It's a, yo, these pancakes are great. You should try them. And then it's a... Does anyone want to try them? Yo, does anyone want to try the pancakes? Last call on the pancakes. You know, like...

Last call to pancakes And then the last ones Like right before we leave I'm done with these Anyone want them That's what it is That's the etiquette It's nice To offering your food It's nice You have a nice experience You want to share the experience Yes I do That's what I want to do It's a little It's a little push I wouldn't say pushy Because I'm not like Fucking shoving it down your throat Passing a ferris on the defense

A little bit. Okay, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. Defensive holding. Give me. But like, that's the way to do it. If you're going to offer, because what I order, I'm very happy in. And if it's delicious, I want everyone to experience. That's what Becca and I do. We go out to dinner. She's like, I want these two things. And I'm like, I want these two things. And it's like, you order that. I order that. And we share. Right. Make this table a lazy Susan. That's what I'm talking about. You know what I mean? Is that insensitive, lazy Susan? I don't know. Just call her dumbass Susan. How is that better? I don't know. Because it doesn't mean she's lazy. She might just be stupid.

One is worse. Yeah, I'm not sure which one. Lazy is subjective. Stupid is universal. I feel like you made that worse. But that's the thing. I got this steak. Yo, this steak is ridiculous. You want some? First time. No, I'm all right. You sure you don't want any? Yeah, okay. Last call on this. And then finally, oh, I can't eat anymore. Anyone want these? Yeah. And that's honestly around three and four is when people are most susceptible to trying it.

Because they're excited when they get their own food. Really? I feel the opposite. Like, I'm either in on the first one. Because when food lands, that's when I'm like, oh, that looks good. And then I'm hoping someone's like, oh. Or I'll say like, wow, that looks good. And then it's like, do you want to try? Yeah, that's why I said it looked good. You know? Everyone does that. The worst person I've ever seen do that is Keith.

Yeah, he's not very subtle. Keith's not very subtle. Wow, that's good. I'd probably eat that. I've told this story probably a dozen times. Maybe not on this show. Now at Baker's. Now at Baker's doesn't. That's right. Doesn't make any sense. We've agreed on that, right? No sense. What requires 13 eggs? I don't know. No cake? But, Keith, we would be out probably at Subway and we'd get those cookies, which we, hindsight looking back, probably not even cookies.

And he'd be like, oh, that looks good. I would so have one. You know what? I'm going to go buy one, but I don't have any money. I'm probably not just going to get it. But if I did, I'd get it. And I'm like, all right, Keith. We can hear that you want this cookie so badly. So excited for wedding season? Yeah. And by wedding season, I mean the one wedding on the horizon. Yeah. I mean, this is not wedding season. No, this is wedding season. Is it wedding season? Oh, the fall. It's like peak wedding season. Right. I only have one. Yeah, it's the only one that I know of.

Yeah, I think so. I don't even know anyone else getting married. Who else do we know is getting married? Everyone is either already married or just not getting married yet. Yeah, I don't know. So we got to live this up, baby. Everybody to be living it up by saying. Do you think they're going to be, are we going to have to make requests? It's a live band. You didn't know that? I totally forgot. It's a live band. Do you think they'll let us do a song? What?

Let me be very clear about something. Officiating isn't enough. I need to perform. Let's be very clear. It's not been a month out from fucking Radio City. It's not about if they let us do a song. We're getting those mics. You're going to get up there and be like,

Do me a favor. Play fucking... Play, you know, Piano Man. And it's mine, bitch. Yeah. Maybe they'll be into it. Well, I'm not gonna... I gotta be honest. I'm not. I'm scared. I think... Oh, that's why I started drinking earlier. The fear of doing this stuff will be long gone by... I'm scared of asking them. By the best man speech. Yeah. As soon as the party starts...

My fear and inhibitions will be out the window. I see a moment that I can slip in and be a part of the live band. I might even play the drums. That's good, too. At the very minimum, I think that we can get up there and be background singers. Oh, yeah. We could do here with them. Or you know what's going to happen a lot, a lot, is usually when they do that and they're at the edge of the stage and then they go to the crowd, bro, I'm right there. Damn.

24 karat magic. If they do a live band version of 24 karat magic. Of course they are. I am telling you right now, I might not walk home with feet. I might not walk home because I'm driving home. I might not leave that place with feet. I will fucking burn my feet off dancing to that song. Driving home. What do you mean? I'm saying like after the next day. At night. You're not driving home at night. Not at all.

It's gonna be. It's gonna be. It's gonna be. It's gonna be. Okay. I'm excited. I'm excited. Me too. And I know your least favorite part of every wedding you've been to with the lake people is we're probably gonna do... Oh, my God. I forgot about you freaks. So...

For those of you uninitiated, Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Dude, you got to see these people perform this song. So at the lake house where they are, which our friend who's getting married also has a house there. So his family's there, Frankie's family is there, and a bunch of other families. And for whatever reason, these little bunch of cottages have their theme song is Dashboard by the whose light? Sure. Sunlight by the Dashboard's height. Sure.

What is it? Light by the dashboard. Dashboard. Just go, just go. Whatever it is. I knew the song, but I can't remember it now. You just said it. Well, I know I was like making a joke and now I've completely scrambled my brain. Come on. Something by the dashboard light. Okay. Paradise. There it is. Um,

They perform this song, and it gets so, especially you guys. What's up, baby? Frank's family gets a little weird because the lyrics are like. It's about fucking in the car. It's about fucking in the car. And then you and your brothers are singing it to your sister. She's singing it back to you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. First of all, take it the fuck easy, okay? Take it the fuck easy. Let's be very honest.

forever yeah do you need me you know yes all that stuff and the song is one hour long it's a long song there is a big part in the middle of it where they just are playing the fucking radio version of a Yankees baseball game from the 40s or 50s whatever it is and it's like here he comes running around the herd and he

You know, like, but it's like, I don't know where it came from, to be honest. I think it just started happening one year and then we just committed to it. Yeah. Yeah. And made it our whole like, get into it. Don't even sit there and lie about you not getting into it, bitch, because you're fucking in it.

It depends. I've been on and off. You're right there. I've been on and off. The boys line up on this side. The girls line up on this side. And the boys sing the boys verse. You know, like fucking. Your mom goes hard for that song too. You know, and the girls sing the girls verse. You know, like the fucking pink ladies. And then at the end, you know, everyone just gets together. Yeah.

wrong with it. It is about fucking in a car, so when you look across and you see your family members there and women of significantly older age, it could be a little weird, but it's all just music, baby. Yeah. That's music. All music's about fucking and sucking. It's just a matter of which songs you allow to steep into your brain about the fucking and sucking. Well, I don't know if that made any sense, but yeah, I think so. But I forget. That's definitely going to go in there. It's going to go in there, and it's going to be a good time. Yeah. Oh, man, I totally forgot about the band. I'm fucking...

I've never been to a wedding with a live band. I've only been to two. Your brothers, right? No, my cousins. Oh, okay. Yeah. And they had like 14 people in this band. It was ridiculous. I'm just letting you know, I know this is coming out both on Patreon and publicly available after the wedding.

To our friends getting married. We apologize. For what might happen at this wedding with the live band and us. It's been a couple weeks since we've performed. We've got the itch. We've got the itch. We've got the itch. It's not our fault. It's not. It's not our fault. You can't put baby in a corner because these babies, you put these babies in a corner, these babies are going to grab your mic and fucking rip it. God damn, I'm hyped now. So we will apologize for that. But the other thing that we have to apologize for is that we forgot to plug something and Greg's going to murder us. That's funny.

Guys, just so you know, right now, Frank, hold up the sign. Just go to this website. We won't tell you what it says. tbytourmerch.com I was going to let them decipher the hieroglyphics that are fucking Greg's handwriting. Our Greg's?

Oh, that is... Oh, okay. I think you said our. Our Greg's handwriting. You said our. Oh, he's ours. TBY... Well, technically, he's yours. TBYtourmerch.com. We have... Yeah, TBYtourmerch.com for the first time, I guess, and like, you know, whatever, but...

On the tour, we put out a bunch of merch, and we bought a bunch for all the shows and whatnot, and that was the only place that you can get them. We have some leftover inventory, so we're putting it up on that website, tbytourmerch.com, and you can go get it. So we have a Santa Gata Studios baseball uniform. Frank, go get it. It's not a uniform. It's just a shirt. It's just a jersey. It's just a jersey. There's no pants. There's no bat and ball. Come on. It's a jersey. There's missing ones. There's missing ones.

I know, we don't have all of them, but look. We don't have all of them. So we have this sick jersey. You guys have probably seen it in some photos, but this jersey is now available on tbytourmerch.com. It says Santa Gata Studios. On the back, it's 24 for 2024. We also have this shirt. From the first three shows. Yeah. So this is the basement yard experience. That's me and Frankie drinking champagne with a flame in the background. Which we're now forever tied to champagne because of this.

I'm totally fine with that. Also, that shirt gets really cool because when you wash it a couple of times and it starts to look a little like a vintage shirt. And technically it is vintage because they will not be reprinted. So they are right now.

One of a kind. You're not getting anything more, bitch. There you are. So fucking accept it. tbytourmerch.com, so go get it while you still can. And there's a couple of other stuff up there as well that are from the tour. So for everyone who bought merch during the tour, thank you so much. And everyone has said they enjoyed it. One thing that I will say about that merch...

is that we have our actual tour tee that has the basement yard experience over here. On the back is a bunch of dates. And it's a really cool shirt, and we love it. A lot of people have sent emails to our merch company being like, this was misprinted because it looks like the seams are inside out. We did that on purpose. That was a design choice. It was a design choice. We thought it was cool. So we were like, it has this little inside out type of thing. Yeah, it's cool. It's different. It's fucking different. That's what you want.

Now you're getting yelled at by him, which you don't want. So yeah, just go check it out. tbytourmerch.com. Frank, there you go. There it is. You see it? Also, if you want, give Greg a rating one through 10 on his handwriting. Frank, what are you going to give him? A zero. I'm going to give him a two.

Uh, but yeah, so we do have sponsors for today as well. Uh, the first one being, hello, how you doing? We have ZocDoc. So ZocDoc is a platform where you can, uh, you know, find and book patient reviewed, uh, doctor's appointments. So, uh, you go onto their platform and you put in your insurance that you have.

and they will show you doctors in your area and their next available appointment. Also, like I said, they're patient reviewed. So then you can weed out like, oh, this guy probably isn't a good doctor or their office is like, you know, whatever. And you can find good doctors in your area. This is exactly what I used before they were a sponsor to find my primary care physician. And it's not just primary care physicians either. You can find specialists

on it as well. You just plug in your insurance, you type in what you're looking for, and it'll show you people in your area that do that and their next available appointment. So it's great. And yeah, you can stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com slash basement to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That is z-o-c-d-o-c dot com slash basement. Again, that is zocdoc.com

slash basement. And we also have BetterHelp. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy. For those of you who are not in therapy, I do suggest that you do do it. I think that even if you're not going through anything traumatic in your life or you feel like you kind of got it all kind of together, I still think therapy is beneficial to

to you and to anyone else in the world. It really does help in ways that you probably can't even think of right now. But it's nice to have someone who is not biased that you can kind of like talk to and just helps you with, you know, decisions and whether it's your career or personal life or whatever it is, it is very helpful. So,

BetterHelp can help facilitate that because they are more affordable than in-person therapy, which is super expensive. And sometimes that's like the biggest deterrent for people is that how expensive it is. But BetterHelp is a fraction of the price. And yeah, you can...

start talking to a therapist in just under 48 hours. So it's very quick onboarding. And, you know, we're going to save you some money as well. So you can go to betterhelp.com slash basemeyart today to get 10% off of your first month. Okay. That is betterhelp spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash basemeyart to save 10% off your first month today.

And make sure you go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. Folks, we are gearing up and getting ready to offer you guys some new cool stuff for Patreon, which you're going to definitely want to be a member of so you can see it because it'll be exclusively offered to our patrons. So go check out patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. Check out that first tier where you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. And that second tier, not only you get those weekly episodes a week in advance, and then you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. Start your week, end your week with us, the Basement Boys. So go to patreon.com slash thebasemanyard.

and signed up today. Guys, thank you so much. We're continuing to grow. We want to get to 33,000. We are planning some stuff. Don't want to give away too much, but you're definitely going to want to keep an ear to the ground. Maybe sanitize the part of the ground where you're going to put your ear and then put it there and then you'll be notified when things are going on. All right? Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Thanks, folks. Go check it out. So...

We have to talk about this art exhibit where there's two naked people at the front door. Yeah, I saw that. There's a naked woman, naked man, and you have to squeeze through them. You can't walk shoulder. Wait, to like get into the exhibit? I actually don't know if that's true, but it's part of the art exhibit is like you have to walk through these people. Why?

Why is this part of the exhibit? One word. Art. Okay. What happened when art was just like fucking fat babies with wings and like naked fucking people like, you know, like eating apples from trees and now you gotta like fucking like grind on someone in order to be considered art? To be fair, nudity has always been a part of art. Yeah, but like nudity in paintings. My uncle was an artist. He drew fucking tits and dicks all the time. Okay? But drawing it

and rubbing your own shit upon it. Yeah. Very different things. I also think they're different, but you got to be, I mean, let's be fair here. I mean, back in the day, they had a lot of statues that, I will say, the most unnecessary thing that I think ever in the history of the art world, I get it. Nudity, it's artistic, free your body, whatever it is. Do the statues have to be pissing?

Statues are pissing? I think those are fountains, brother. Well, whatever. They're pissing, though. Fountains piss. Statues don't. Fountains aren't considered like art. A fountain is a statue. But it's more about the aquatics behind the statue. No one cares about it and say like, oh my God, this beautiful piece of art. They can say like, I just want water to shoot up in my front yard. Yeah, but why has it got to piss? I've never really seen pissing statues. I've seen like fish. I've seen many a pissing. You want to do fish spit? I've never seen a fish spit. They can't.

Can they? I don't know. Anyway. I don't care. So the art exhibit, right? This part of the exhibit is like there's a man and a woman and they're naked. I saw. Right? So you have to squeeze through them. And the internet was kind of asking, how do you pass by? Crawl. Do you give... Crawl. Can you crawl? No, dude. Come on. Let's play the game. Can you run and jump?

Run and jump? What are you, fucking Super Mario? You're going to jump over these people? Not over, but between them. So if you had to squeeze through a naked man and a woman, are you giving your butt to the woman or the man? And giving your thing to the woman or man? Well, hold on. Because you can't have this. I'm clothed, right? Yeah, yeah, you're clothed. Oh, I don't need to. Don't say, like, that's not a crazy thing to ask. No. These freaking artists are like, you'd only experience the nude art if you're also nude as well.

If you have your clothes on and you're passing through a naked woman and a naked man, which way is your butt going? Oh, man. I don't know. What's worse? You got to give an answer. I can't give my butt to a guy. So you're going to scrape shafts? You're going to do a little of this? Oh, man. This is a real Sophie's Choice. You're going to give him one of those? You're going to have a little Johnny Depp sword fight? Why? Because he was a pirate? Yeah. Yeah, that's actually pretty spot on.

I mean, I think... What do you do here, dude? I think throw a butt at him. No way, dude.

You're giving your ass to this guy? Well, I don't want to give him my ass, but the way that I'm thinking about it is like, I'm going to be passing by this guy, and if I'm giving him wiener, then he's in my face. But you're giving him butt. That's like... But I'm worried about my face. I'm facing the guy. Yeah, the face of the guy. You've been this close to a man's face. Not fucking because I wanted to. I mean, none of this is sexual. None of this...

You're not doing any of this sexually. I know, but I got pants on. It's like, we're not scraping penises. I would wear three pairs of jeans. Why? What is that going to do? If I felt the skin on my... You would feel them on your jeans. I just don't know. Face to face with a random guy being like, sorry. We've done that in nightclubs and shit like that. Like, I'm...

I don't know, dude. What if I did like... You just said nightclubs, by the way. That's wild. Nightclubs. You do that in like dancing joints. What if I go face, but I turn back to see the girl? Well, you would need to have a broken neck in order to achieve that. No, look at how... Look at how that turn was. You just turned like crazy, though. You're just looking to the side.

You know what? Actually, you don't. Yeah, exactly. I could just go like this. I could just go like that. And then, and then like you, you, you, men have kissed you on the cheek. Italian old men. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. You could do that. So I give the, I give this guy my front, but I give a, Oh, okay. Oh yeah. And I keep the hands up here.

If the hands are down here, you're catching residual cock. Yeah, I'm not catching a dangle. Yeah, I'm not. You're catching the fucking, you know, a meat hook if you catch my drift. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you might have sold me on that. I think you can even go this way. You can go this way. So how do you do it in a movie theater, though? You throw butt, no? No.

But that's feet. I'm not passing. People aren't standing in a movie theater. Yeah, a lot of the movie theaters I go to now have recliners, so it's just people laying down. Oh, jeez. Money bags over here. Definitely not money bags. You're just... You're a fucking movie theater. You only go to the ones where there's beds?

Joe, all... Honestly, and this is not me being money-bagged. 20 years, by the way. I haven't been to the movies. I was going to say, most of the ones around here probably have the same exact thing. Really? I don't know. They don't have, like, the seats... Bro, they ruined movie theaters. I just want to put that out there. I'd rather be in a reclining seat. I'd rather... No, because then it's like...

I like the old, like, dingy seats where you show up and you... Oh, right there. You'd rather that? You feel like you're in a fucking spaceship when you get into one of these things. I want to have, like, I can, you know, like, if Becca and I go and I can, like, cuddle her, arm around her. There's a giant fucking armrest in between us now that's mechanized. Wait. Yeah. So, wait. But you're talking about going back to regular movie theaters... Hell yeah. ...where there's an armrest. Yeah, and you could just pick it up, and then it's just the seats. Yeah.

Yeah. Now the armrest is like this big. And then you have, cause you have your drinks. You have your drinks and the buttons are in it a lot of the time. So like it's, it's electrified. So you can't pick it up. Electronic. I think it's an electrified, you touch it, you get electrocuted. We did. So we were, we got interviewed by people magazine, which was really, really cool.

Which if you guys haven't seen that go check it out. I'm shocked you didn't bring this up sooner. I forgot. But I, you know, print media is dead. It's dead. A lot of people don't even use it anymore. Everything is read online. So after the interview, she was really nice. And I asked her, like, I meant to say, like, is this going to be digital only? But I was like, is this only going to be electronic? Yeah.

And he didn't like know that he said anything wrong. And she went, electronic. And I'm like, digital is what he means. I caught it. I caught it. That bounced out. It did. But that's a miss. I just, I think the right way. So wait, in the movie theater, what do you do? Like in a regular movie theater. I face the screen, baby. So you throw butt at these people. Hell yeah. People are getting my butt. You are too. I don't know.

You know what? It depends. If I'm getting out of my seat and going to the bathroom, then I think I throw penis at them. But if I'm getting into the seats for the first time, then I think I'm throwing butt. So your first entrance into there, you give them your ass. Second time you come back, they get your cock. Yeah, I think so. I think I switch it up. Or it depends where I'm

If you're on the end, it doesn't even matter. If you're sitting on an aisle seat... I mean, if I'm turning into the seats this way, then maybe I throw penis. Oh, yeah. So if you're coming up the stairs and turning that way... Then I throw butt, I think. Then it's easy to give him your ass. Yeah, yeah. But if you have to come down and turn in... Yeah, I'm not going to do a spin. I'm a ballerina. Could you? Yeah, no. That makes sense. I think the most important part of whatever way you pick, hands need to be up here. Hands. Hands need to be up here because...

And I'm not talking here or here because you'll get boob. Yeah, yeah. You got to stop and freeze. You need to freeze. You're under arrest. Hands up, baby. Hands up. Give me your heart. Give me, give me your heart. Give me your heart. Yeah. Right here. Yeah. I also think that it's required to be like, sorry, sorry, sorry. And you don't have to say sorry, but you have to sound like a snake. You need to, yes. You need to be a parcel tongue in that moment. Parcel tongue. You got to speak parcel. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah. I just, I mean, man.

That's just... Yeah, yeah. And even when you're like... When you are trying to get through a crowd, it's, ah, excuse me. I'm sorry. Yeah. Or like you're crossing a street and there's a car and he's like, ah, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah. Bro, and also when you get back to the seats after the bathroom...

You gotta like be so self-deprecating be like I'm a fucking I'm sorry like I obviously I have to get back. Yes that is proper. Even on a plane I do that too. Movie theater etiquette is a whole other course. I'm sorry that I have a body. You know what we should get back in touch with our friend Micah Meyer the etiquette expert that proved that I was a better etiquette person than you. I don't know if that happens. And see if there is like if we can help her write a book.

On movie theater etiquette. You've gone too far with the idea now. Because you're right. When you get back to your seat, you're just like, I'm fucking sorry, guy. I'm such a fucking idiot. I'm just a big, fat, pissing idiot. My fucking bladder sucks. Fuck. It sucks. It sucks. Slap me in the face. Thank you. I'm such a fucking... You know, like, you're right. You need to be the enemy of yourself in a movie theater. Yeah. You know? Especially if you sneeze...

Getting up two times during a movie, by the way? No, piss your pants. Yeah. Piss your pants. You get one bathroom break. You get one bathroom break, and the proper way to go to the bathroom during the movie is to run to the bathroom so you don't miss any of the movie, and piss as hard and fast as you possibly could. Yeah. And then— Grip your butt and push more piss out.

I was hoping you were going to keep talking. We're here. We've arrived at the station. Time to get out and talk about your choices there. Yeah, I don't know. Is that how you squeeze pee? No. Is you squeeze your butt like you're a sponge? No, no, no, I don't. You do. No, I don't. Yeah, you do, dude. I did. I was being a joke, funny. I don't know about that. And you know my bathroom etiquette. You have to preload your piss...

Preload your piss? Yeah, preload. What does that mean? As soon as I enter the bathroom of a bathroom, my hands in my pants. Yeah, but that's... We're entering illegal territory. No, because I'm not exposing myself to anyone but the urinal or the toilet. Yeah. You know? Pee as hard as you can, run back.

Let me ask you something about urinals. You get right up on those things? No. So people next to you, they can get a peripheral. Honestly, it depends on one, the type of urinal, and two, if there's someone to the left and or right of me. So you'll hug the thing. You'll get right up on that bitch. If there are people on both sides of me, I'll get a little close. Okay. But then I got to really aim my piss stream. Straight down because then you're peeing on yourself. Because then I'm pissing on myself. And I hate when urinals are just flushing the whole time.

Yeah, I hate that too. I hate it. I'm getting splashed. I hate these new, like, we're trying to save the world urinals that are just like, they don't flush. It's just a drain in the bottom. What are we doing? Give me water when I pee. Give me water. I'd like to waste some water. Listen, if anything, pee might save the turtles. I don't know how that's adding up. It might. It adds more liquid into the water. Right? What? No. Bad. I don't even know where you are. All right. Never mind. All right. Never mind. No big deal. Never mind. Never mind. Never mind.

But anyway, yeah, I guess in a movie theater, it depends which way you're going or whatever. When's the last time you went to a movie theater? Was it Avengers Endgame? I don't know. I think I've been after that. I go fairly regular, maybe like three, four times a year. Really? Yeah. Well, Miles wants to see movies. I want to see movies. Popcorn.

Love a good popcorn. Slushies. No, I don't do slushies because those are not real slushies. Those are like the fucking ones that you drink all the good stuff and then you're just left with just cloudy mess. That's why you got to spin it. You got to keep going like this. I'm only drinking slush puppies if they're slushies. One. Two. Pretzel nugs, baby. Pretzel nugs and cheese. You find my mom. And cookie dough bites. Yeah, but like... Frank, you're a bastard. I'm fine without them. I'm good with a...

Pretzel bites or soda because you have to get a soda at the movies. I don't do that because it's just too much. I'm not going to drink it. Twizzlers. Twizzlers? What are you, fucking 47 and going through a divorce? Hopefully no and never. Twizzlers. Ew. Milk duds. I'm there.

You're buying another thing? How much money you spend on it? I'm not buying, I'm saying like my options, babe. Oh, okay. Popcorn is a death. You gotta get popcorn. And now they have like all these cool like popcorn buckets? Bro, I hate popcorn bags. Bags? Give me the fucking tub! Bags! Keep your fucking bag, dude. Give me the goddamn tub. You said bags and that caught me so by surprise. Fucking little bags. Here's a bag. Give me a fucking helmet.

Give me something with structure. Well, that's why like a lot of movies, like AMC now, when like movies come out, they have like collectors. The custom ones. Buckets. They had like a... And then weird people on Reddit figure out ways to fuck it. Well, that one was an easy one. Fuck that dune bucket. It didn't take much, you know. Yeah, they knew what they were doing. They knew what they were doing. They made a fleshlight. Listen, if you're going to see a movie with Timothee Chalamet and a bunch of sand, you might as well fuck the bucket when you get home.

That's the least that you can do. You gotta get something out of this. You gotta get something out of this fucking movie experience, you know? Oh, my God. All right, well, I guess on that note, we do have... We have...

We have Stitch Fix Stitch Fix is going to act as your personal stylist Okay, you go onto their website You fill out a style quiz You let them know, you know, your height, your weight What kind of fit on your shirts and pants you like And all your little sizes and your shoe size and stuff like that And then they get right to work Okay, your personal stylist just kind of jumps out there onto the internet And they start shopping for you from like a thousand different brands that you know and love And they send stuff to your house And then you only pay for the stuff that you keep

Okay. So it's nice. You get it every so often. You're like, Ooh, some new clothes. I like this. I don't like this. You send, you send back the stuff that you don't want free returns. Okay. Free shipping always. So boom, just like that. And you keep your wardrobe nice and fresh. So it's a very lovely with Stitch Fix and you can make style easy. Get started today. Go to stitchfix.com slash basement. Okay. To, to get this deal. So go to stitchfix.com slash basement right now and

upgrade that wardrobe, baby. It's going to be amazing. And lastly here, we do have Rocket Money, which is a personal finance app that's going to find and help you cancel unwanted subscriptions. We're all guilty of it. We've signed up for free trials. We are paying for some app to do this thing, and I haven't used it in eight months, and I've just been pouring money down the drain.

Rocket Money is going to help you identify those things, cancel them, and put the money back in your pocket. And look, it's not just you, and it's not just me. This is everybody. They have millions of users, and they have 5 million users and have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps and features. On average, $740 a purse, okay?

Everyone's doing it. So go check out Rocket Money. Also, I didn't even mention the other things. They have a budgeting tool to help you stay on budget. And they have a feature where you can send a picture of your...

and they can help you lower it possibly. So they're going to put money back in your pocket. That's the business that they're in. So stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your wanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash basement, okay? That is rocketmoney.com slash basement. Get to it.

What the hell are we talking about? We somehow got from nude art exhibit to the movie theaters. Oh, before we go, it's officially hello, no nut November. Oh, hi. Who are you saying hello to? All the people that practice? Yeah, that's an internet thing. It is a big internet thing. No nut November. Oh, you're so cool. I actually, I saw, that's so funny you bring that up. Don't ask me why I was reading this, but there was like a fucking...

about, like, what does No Nut November actually do to your body and shit like that. Apparently, it's not that bad. Like, it can, like... What's not that bad? Like, No Nut November. People are thinking, like, oh, you get, like, backed up blue balls, big old fat balls and stuff like that. Wait. What?

People say that. I think people say that. I thought it was like No Nut November and it's like it's about discipline and like semen retention. I think that's what the general idea is. But it's funny because it's coming from the least disciplined people on the planet that are doing it like frat boys in like fucking college. What happened to No Fap? It's like I practice discipline and do No Nut November and it's like you just smoked 14 cigarettes in an hour. Yeah. You know? What happened to No Fap?

No fap November? Well, no fap was like no fapping. Why is that called fapping? I think the noise sounds like you're... Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap. That makes sense. So it was no fap and then no nut. Well, I think no nut November because no fap just, it specifies as no masturbation. No nut means basically you are abstinent the whole month. We went from... Have you done that? No. No, I have not.

I was setting you up there. Have you? No. I was setting you up for an easy joke to be like, 16 years? Oh, yeah. Oh, well, then, yeah, sure. I guess we're... But I... Apparently, like, it said, like... It's like, you don't get, like, swollen testicles or anything because your body just, like, resorbs the semen. Wait, what? Yeah. You heard that there, folks? Ew, dude. Yeah, dude. You're telling me if I don't... If I don't cum... You're gonna cum in yourself. Fuck.

Damn, dude. That's right. You're telling me my body just sucks up my cum? That's right. Your body just fucking full-on blasts you if you don't. All right. Too much? I think so. Hey, you heard it here, frat stars. No, not November. You're just nutting in yourself. So it eats my stuff? Yeah, you're fucking eating your own stuff, dude.

Crazy, right? I'm not. No, you are. How? Because you're eating it. How long do you have to wait until it starts eating it? I mean, I'm not a doctor. I'm asking for a hypothesis. But I'm going to answer. Give me a hypothesis. I would say maybe like a week and a half. So like nine days? Ten, ten, ten, ten, ten.

10 days. Until your body starts to like, this is my cum now. Yeah, give me. I'm taking it back. You know what? The offer's off the table. Yeah, that's it. Give me it back. Now it's mine. Okay. That makes sense though. You can't just build up a big old sack of toys. Just big old fat nuts. Yeah, you can't have that. That's crazy. I mean, I guess, but. Right? Yeah. I mean, I wish, you know.

I kind of wish it did happen. That'd be pretty funny. Can you imagine you're just walking around with like... Just like wheelbarrow nuts? Well, that's too heavy. Okay. I was thinking way smaller than that before they had to be in a... Softballs. Now we're warmer, yeah. Something I could hide.

But imagine your balls just got like so much bigger. That'd be crazy, dude. I would get rid of that. I would have wanted big fat balls all the time. Yeah, I don't care about my balls as much. Especially if you gotta go to a wedding. I gotta wear a tuxedo. Yeah, you think I want to fit into a tux with these giant nuts? No way. No way, dude. Certain dress pants that I've put on before, they get too high in my balls. Oh, really? Like they do too much of a tapered look. Yeah, and it's like, am I wearing a dipe? Yeah, papa.

Quite possibly. You might have to with the amount that you drink at these weddings. I hate that, dude. You know what I hate? When you can really feel a seam. I kind of don't like that either. Say that you do like that. I kind of don't like that either. Yeah. But I do like short seam, like shorts and stuff like that. Yeah. Like my thighs are works of art. Yeah. I like your thighs. And I have a...

And now I have the I have a thigh tattoo too. Oh, you have to I like when it you have to you have to yeah, absolutely you I mean you have literally art to show off on your legs So like true you would be doing the artist a disservice and yourself a disservice if you didn't show those thighs off, baby Right. I got it. Yeah, I got it. I got it. They should talk to me I know like are you about to invent something? Yes, then I'm certain it exists good pants. Oh

But, like, they have, like, a pocket, like a window that you can, if you have a thigh tattoo. So, like, they're pants. But, like, there's just a stitched window where you would have a thigh tattoo. Now, when you say window. Window. I don't know. There's ripped pants that have holes. Yeah, but ripped looks a little dingy. And it allows every baby boomer dad to be like, I think you got a hole in your pants. Your pants ripped. You know? Yeah.

I'm saying like a designed window in your pants. Like think assless chaps, but your ass is on your thigh. Yeah, but that's just a hole. Thighless pants. And then so the pant is just ankle to knee. Copyright. Trademark and copyright. Copy to knee. Ankle to knee. Nothing. And then like a pant. It is.

This is a cutout window. It's stitched around it. Make sure they hear my idea. So basically like shorts, short shorts with long socks, basically. No. But it's all pants. No, because this, this. Yeah, yeah. This all exists. This all exists. Right. But there's just like a five by seven.

Plexiglass? Plexiglass? No, no, no. Because if there's like a rubber or a plexiglass over it, it'll fog up, baby. That's true. I'm thinking of this shit already. So what can we put there? Nothing. Oh, a hole. It's just a window. Oh. It's just a hole. But it is square. But it's square and it's stitched so it's meant to be there. So it looks like a picture frame. Picture frame pants. Picture perfect pants. Picture perfect pants. P.F.P.

PPP! PPF! PPP! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple P! Triple

Knee tattoos. People have their knees tattooed. I know. A shin tattoo. I think this could be a genius idea. I'm telling you, if some fucking Brooklyn hipster picks this up. It probably exists. And runs off with it. I don't think it exists, Joey. You're basing that on nothing. Frank, you can't type in windows on your pants. Pants with windows. Nothing's going to come up. That's what he did. Pants with windows.

Don't see anything. No kidding. Well, hold on. These... Oh, shit. Wait a sec. It exists? They're... So... What's their name? It's selling jeans with knee windows. Damn it. Shit. That's exactly my idea. Yeah, that's it. But my idea is cooler. Is it... And it's being sold by Topshop? Who the fuck are they? Nobody. Picture Perfect Pants are way better. Picture Perfect Pants...

I think are so cool. Look, and like they could even be something like this if you're feeling nasty. There's like, it's like the butt. It's like the butt and there's little curtains. Oh, it's like a quilt instead of jean butt. Just putting this out there. It's a great idea. Multi-billion dollar idea possibly. Right to billion. Everything could be a multi-billion idea with the right backing. And enough time. And enough time and passion.

And I've got it, baby. Passion, enthusiasm. Passion, enthusiasm, time. Adjectives. Investors. Investors. Could be you. Could be you. Oh, my God. So go to T-by, what is it? T-B-Y-TourMerch.com and pledge your investment for the pants. That's not going to be up there, but there is going to be a lot of merch up there and a lot of exciting stuff for you guys. You ever think if I throw this, like if at the right angle, I can just slit your throat?

I don't want to think about that. Let's not. Let's not. Ooh, that hurt me. It did. It got you, right? It did hurt me a little bit. And be honest, that was a pretty good throw. It was. Kind of like Remy Lebeau, who is obviously known because of his mutation where he's allowed to charge playing cards, traditionally playing cards. Is this Gambit? It is Gambit, baby. At least you got it. Yeah. Remy Lebeau.

Oh, he's French. Well, he's from New Orleans, so he's got like a Creole thing going on. Oh, I get it. Yeah, like a Louisiana. I don't think they sound like that in Louisiana. Have you watched Deadpool and Wolverine yet? No. Penguin, though. Mad good. Boom. Mad good. I fucking love that fat bastard. Yeah. You know? Oh, wait.

I love that character. And it's also just an exceptionally well-written show. How the fuck is that Russell Crowe? It ain't. Well, that's how. It isn't. Colin Farrell. I always get them mixed up. I don't know why. They're two different people, different names, look radically different. Radically is crazy. They're white guys with beards. One's Irish, though. Colin Farrell has a mustache only, dude. And he's just like, he's back hair, and he's like, hi.

I liked her. I liked her beat of Hank Green. You know? Russell Crowe is Australian. He's like, R&R. That girl on the show is really good, too. Kristen Milioti. Yes. Unbelievable. Remember that episode of Black Mirror she was in? Was that the... Oh, that was the... USS Callister. Yep. I was going to say Challenger. I mean, close. Different tragedy. Kind of close. It is a different tragedy. Yeah. I will say, though, that I now have seen that she was in The Sopranos.

She had like a... Who is she in Soprano? She plays Johnny Sack's daughter when they go to visit him in prison. Wow. She was in an episode of 30 Rock where she was really good. She was in that movie with Andy Samberg. Yes. I liked it. Palm Springs. Palm Springs, yeah. She's been really... And this, yo, she is unbelievable in this show. She's really good. Yeah.

It's really fun. You should watch it. We don't work for the show. We just like the show. We don't, but we will. Well, I will work for the show. I mean, listen. We'll be in the show. Matt Reeves, David Zaslav, James Gunn, whoever's working on the stuff over there, just send us. Mr. Gunn. I'm a big fan of James Gunn. I don't want to. I'm legit a huge fan of his. Yeah.

This guy makes good movies. He does make good movies. And we'd like to be in season, I'm assuming, three. Well, well, well. Two, you got to figure it out. Well, how about we start with, just get us to hang out with the Penguin, you know? I don't want to hang out with Colin Farrell. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but I want to hang out with Oz. We want to hang out with the Penguin. You know? I want to, you know. Yeah. You know? Yeah. You know? Yeah. You're not doing a good impression. It's just surprising because you usually do.

Honestly, give me a little bit of time and I'll crank one out for you. Okay. Dude. Wild, dude. Sorry. Give me a little bit of time and I'll crank one out for you. Do you like this penguin or the Danny DeVito penguin? I mean, they're so different. Yeah, Danny DeVito's penguin's got a way bigger nose. A way bigger nose. And on it... I mean...

Do you want me to really get into it? More comically accurate Penguin is Colin Farrell. No. Oh, really? Yeah. Colin Farrell. I mean, in terms of physical deformities, you could say Danny DeVito was more comically accurate, but the character is not known as a sewer dweller, fucking rat freak. Yeah, he's like a... Rat freak?

I mean, that's what Danny DeVito's character is. The guy has like black goo in his mouth and shit. Rat freak. He lives in a sewer with fucking penguins. With other penguins. Yeah. In a duck boat. Like, that's not like the real. Which Batman was that? Batman Returns. Okay, cool. 1992. That's us, baby. You're the monkey. But like, he's traditionally like, just like a, like really smart gangster that's just ruthless and will do anything. And like,

This show is showing that without spoiling it, because it is currently on, like it is, that is him and he is him. Yeah. Yeah. So good. I actually haven't finished the last episode. So I have to finish the last episode. What was the, without spoiling it, what was the last thing you saw in the last episode? I don't even remember. Did you see? Don't say, oh, I think I know who you're referring to because I was talking about this at the barbershop and then some idiot was like, oh, this thing. And I was like, oh, the barbershop scene.

No. I was at the barbershop. Oh, you haven't seen the barbershop scene? So you're way early on in the episode. I haven't seen the last episode at all. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's not a barbershop. It's a tattoo shop. Tattoo shop? Tattoos. There's a guy getting a tattoo and something happens? Oh, no. I don't think I've seen it. I didn't see the last episode at all. You just said you haven't finished it. Oh, well, I watched like five minutes and I was like, I'm falling asleep. Technically, all right. So technically, you are not wrong. You didn't finish it. But there's something in that episode, right? There's something big? There's something in that episode that is fucking banana sandwich.

He's so good, dude. By the way, a banana sandwich? Banana, peanut butter, honey, cinnamon. That's a good fucking sandwich. Anyone who's hungry right now, go make that right now. Go make that and send a picture of it to us. And if you don't have bananas in your house, bitch. Yo, we have to get, without exaggeration, 20 bananas a week. Maeve has two every day, at least. And that's just Maeve. Man, that's mad potassium. And then Miles has, I make Miles a snack, like right before bedtime. I split a banana in half, put it on a plate.

Peanut butter, honey, basically what I just said. Without the bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he eats it with a fork. It's a good snack. All healthy stuff, too. You give him the... What the hell is that? Like the honey, the honey. The honey, I give him a little drizzle of honey. I give him some... Sometimes I do granola on it. A little crunch. Granola? Granola. Oh. Yeah. Nice. Here we are, baby. Listen. Oh, some chia seeds on that bitch, too? Why not? Chia seeds. Oh, chia seeds. I was like, chia seeds. What are you doing? Chia seeds on that bitch.

Gotta have rules. Yeah, like Jesus. I don't like rules. I do like rules, actually. I'm a big rule guy. We have a lot of rules around the house. We do. We have a lot of rules. But yeah, man, unbelievable. Shout out to the Penguin. Unless they don't want us on the show, then fuck them. I mean, they're probably realistically not going to put us on the show. Which sucks. But we would be so... You know what? It would be cool if for once something could work out for us. How about this? How about this? How about this? How about this? How about this? How about this?

hire me on the show as like a creative consultant because I'm well versed in the comics and stuff like that and I'll be like I'm a two package deal because although I might know it this is my ideas guy right here okay good now we're talking and now we're together right and here we are and now we're gonna get the knowledge and I will package it and deliver the knowledge there's a theory about who one of the characters could be and I don't want to spoil it for you but it's fucking sick one of one of one of the peeps that I've already seen that you've seen baby

We'll get into it. We'll get into it. Oh, I think I have a guess. You could be guessing, but are we done? Yeah, yeah. All right. But you know what? Go watch the episode. Send us pictures of banana sandwiches. No one will get it, but we get it. And we're here and we're appreciating it. Thank you so much for the love and support. You can check me out at FAlvarez8085 on Twitter, TheFrankAlvarez on all other forms of social media, and then go check out The Basement Yard on all forms of social media. Very easy to find. Just type in The Basement Yard and we're there. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the support. You can find Joe at...

at Joe Santagato on all forms of social media. And you can find Greg probably trying to work on his handwriting now that we bullied him into his shitty handwriting. We is crazy. I think that was just you. You guys can follow me, like Frank said, at Joe Santagato on everything. Go follow the show at The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. TBY Tour merch. Go check it out. See you next time.