Welcome back to the base. Hi, welcome back to the basement yard. It is I, Frank. I wanted to tell you a little about our episode today. It's going to have some laughs, going to have some, maybe some arguments, right, Joe? And most importantly, at the end of the day, it's going to make you feel something one way or another. So some insightful conversations. You never know what you're going to get out of this episode. So welcome. Come along. Come on this journey with us. I'm here with my co-host. Well, thank God you have me, honestly, because I don't know if that's going to work for you.
Why not? Come along on this journey. What are you, Mr. Rogers? I am Mr. Rogers. You can't be Mr. Rogers. Why not? Because he's very old and unsuspecting and white. First of all, he's dead. He's gone. He's dead. He's dead. He's shipped up to Boston. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, dead. Yeah. Boston is dead in this analogy. Got it. Got it. Got it. It would be cool. Why did that guy always change his shoes? Is that like... I think... What about that? First of all, there's movies about him that I'm afraid to watch because it will make me cry. And I'll be damned if I cry over another white man. Watch...
I've watched the documentary on him and immediately I was like, I'm like the biggest piece of shit. He's like the nicest guy in the world. Like, yeah, I think there really was through and through. Yeah. And like, there's like so much that like comes out about him. That's just like, God damn it. Like you can't make fun of this person. Like I saw one that it was like a blind girl watches the show. She was like, I'm blind. And I watched a blind girl. Yeah.
Why do you have me say it again? Next part, go. Watches the show. Well, that's what I mean. No, I'm just confused. Watch. You can use different things to watch. You can use other, your ears to watch or listens, whatever. I'm sorry. That's perfect.
I love that I said the thing, but now you're dealing with it. First and foremost. You're digging the hole, though. First and foremost. I am sorry. So a blind girl was watching. So a blind girl was listening to the show, consuming it however she felt she was able to. Agreed. And she said that like, you know, there are points in the show where you're quiet and I don't know what you're doing. So can you just tell, like, say what you're doing? So like, that's why in the show, he'll be like, and now I'm putting on my jacket, this beautiful yellow jacket. And it's like,
DAMMIT! That's good! Oh, for this one blind girl. This guy, yeah, well, you never know. She changed the course. She might have changed the landscape so like other people felt like it was a more inclusive show. I fucked with it, dude. He made like cardigans look cool. It was right before our time. Like it was in like the early to mid 80s, right?
I've seen it before in my house growing up. I've never... I don't think I've ever really watched it. We were not like a big children's programming home. We had tapes. We watched tapes. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. We were a big tape family. VHS was fucking hitting every day. Yeah, VHSs were big. Our shit used to overheat. Really? Yeah. Well, there was four of you guys in there all trying to watch probably different stuff. Crazy tapes. Thomas was probably trying to watch Larry Bird highlights on tape.
Big athlete, that dude. Yeah. Shannon was probably watching, like, you know... Little Mermaid. I also watched that. Little Mermaid, Clarissa Explains It All tapes. Remember that show? That was on TV. It wasn't on tapes. No, of course they had tapes for it. Well... You don't remember the Nickelodeon Orange tapes? I never had any of those. Oh, we were a big Nickelodeon home. I just said we weren't a big child programming room. Now I'm recanting that. Nickelodeon. I mean, like, educational child programming. I may have asked you this before. Have you ever bought anything off the TV? No.
Like those like zoo book commercials or like, you know, like, but have you ever been like, yo mom, I really need this thing. Call a number, buy it. I don't remember if I did that, but I remember my mom once, I forget what the name of it was, but it looked like, it looked like a binder and you open it up and there were two like plastic pieces that came out like that. And you put paper on one side and then you put like the image on the other side and it would like reflect the image so you can trace it.
I don't remember what it was called. She bought it off the TV? I'm pretty sure she got it off the TV. It's the only place I saw it. Have you ever bought something off a TV? Like QVC or some shit like that? No, I feel like I shouldn't watch QVC because I might buy a couple things. Yeah, you would. You kind of strike me as like the demo.
What the hell does that mean? That seems like that was... Impulsive, like the right mood. I'm not impuls... You think I am impulsive? Not all the time. I think that you have moods. You're like, oh, that'd be dope. I'm gonna get it. I mean, I'm very impulsive as well. I was gonna say, that's fucking pot, kettle, black. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying?
No, I know. I'm very impulsive. Yeah, you're definitely... I would say that there are times where I'll remember something and then I'll remember that I have steady income and then I'll buy it. Right. You need some... You need, you know, realizations to happen at the same time. Yeah. The stars need to align. Correct. But...
No, I don't think I ever like zoo books or anything like that. But I remember when I turned 18, that was one of the first thoughts in my head because at the end of all those commercials, it was like, have to be 18 or older to order. And I was like, now I can order. I'm 18. Really? That was what you thought when you were 18? What a fucking square ass birthday you had. Oh, I'm 18. Now I can buy fucking hooked on phonics. Way to go, Joey. You're 31 buying these things. You think
You think I'm buying Oaktown Phonics? No, you're buying fucking Dr. Ooze. I am... I have not... And slime. You spent $100 on slime, sir. Like, you can't tell me. That was for the children. That was for the kids in my home. We had a slime night. For the children. It was. We had a slime night in our home. It was one of the best... What is a slime night?
We put Maeve down to sleep, which when she goes down, it's a fucking party in the home. Because she's still a handful. Slime night. Put her down. We all sat at the table. I opened a big box of slimes. And then we all played with slimes. And then. But what does that mean? You just at the table all doing this? Yeah. Like, dude, you, you're, you're. I'm just trying to learn how to slime. All right. I'm, I'm going to walk you there.
Come on. Okay. You love to tell long stories, but not a big deal. I do. I do. I just want to know how to slime. We got some time to fill here, bitch. Okay? We have other stuff. We do have other stuff. Often stuff that we don't get to. Right. But you take slime out and you can like let it like ooze out. You can like fold it in on itself and make a big slime bubble and then broke it. You know what I'm saying?
Have you never, have you never a slime? - Oh, I farted slime. - Oh, dude. - You make a slime, little queef slime. - Oh, I love queefy slimes, dude. - Me too. - There is one slime, I believe it's called bingsu. - Feels. - I know, I know, I know, I know. - Yep, yep. - Don't forget it if you do.
If you like air it out and then you fucking fart it in on itself and it gets all queefy. Yeah. Oh! I love that. You ever take an action figure and then put the slime and be like, oh, you're getting covered in lava or something. You're so stuck. When I was a kid, I used to do that. I remember I had a... Remember the 1998 Godzilla movie? Yeah. The one with like fucking like...
It was the one with like Hank Azaria and like, you know who I'm talking about. No, dude, just go. Matthew Broderick. I don't care. But I would put him sitting down, like we're standing up on
On the floor and then I would put slime on like the counter. Godzilla? Yeah. And I would be like watching him like, oh shit, the slime's gonna get Godzilla, watch out. Yeah. And then they would fight underneath the slime and then he'd knock out, you know, another, and then the slime would get him, dude. I would put slime on my face sometimes.
I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said that at all. So you were just sitting there dreaming of getting slimed on your face. No, I was not. Yeah, you were, dude. Don't make this about jizz. After watching, I have to say, after watching the Nickelodeon documentary, which is real fucking dark, it makes me look at all that shit differently. We literally, it was like, oh, kids, come on the TV and come on this show and get fucking slimed everywhere. And it's like...
Yeah, I don't know. This doesn't... This seems... Seems like it's coming from a bad place. I do want to get to a place, like, in our career where we could be at the Nickelodeon Choice Awards and just get fucking torched. Let me tell you something right now. By the slime. Wouldn't that be cool? It would be. Remember when they fucking...
Katie Perry. Katie Perry got punched in the face by slime. She was like, oh. So they were like, piss. Shut the fucking PSI up to fucking 400. I was going to say there's no chance. However, however, the weekend for the song Can't Feel My Face won like Song of the Year a couple years ago. That song's about cocaine. All about it. All about doing dat. Yeah. Big old dat. Dat stuff. Dat thing. Yeah. Dat you do in your nose. Yeah. If he can win the Song of the Year, maybe we win Favorite Podcasted.
I think children listen to podcasts. They do, but I don't think they're going to give us that. I don't think they're going to bring us... That's all right. I wish they had an adult... I wish TRL was still around. We wouldn't even be on that if it's music. Why not? We would be on TRL. They had celebrities on there all the time. Jackass was on there. You think Jackass was doing music? We're not Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O, you idiot. Not for a lack of trying, let me tell you. We did do a lot of Jackass shit when we were younger. But going back...
I think my household was more of a Sesame Street household, and we barely watched that. We never watched it. Dude, me and Snuffleupagus liked this at a point in our lives. Really? Dude, I loved Snuffleupagus. Are you kidding me? I never watched Sesame Street ever. We watch it a lot now. It's incredible. Big Bird freaks me the fuck out, dude. That's like a 10-foot-tall fucking bird. Bro, it's a giant-ass bird. With crackhead eyes.
Yeah, the eyes are like fucking big blink now don't they yeah, I think now they're like they blink and they have that I don't know I love like now getting to share that with the kids bro. Sesame Street's incredible. Is it? I've been on Sesame Street. It's right over here. Come on
Hang out! What's Sesame Street? Sesame Street. What is that? It's like an actual street in Manhattan. Is it? It's like West 60th or something like that. Is it like... There's a sign for it that says Sesame Street and it's like done up. I used to have one. So cool, right? Do you remember that? It was like hung up in the basement.
It said like Sesame Way or I don't know. Sesame, I don't know. Well, that's bootleg. It was Sesame Street. That sounds like that's like the fucking. I don't know why I said that. That sounds like it's like the Canal Street version of Sesame Street. Come on down, Sesame Way. Did you go through the phase two where like the first time you got your own room? Signs.
Immediately I'm like I need as many street signs in here as possible and I'm gonna get a custom one that says like Joe's Street Do you remember the fuck do you remember? Construction zone stay out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah merge ahead. My dad would have kicked the fucking door Do you remember the sign I had on my door as a teenager, please? I know it's bad I don't know. I don't remember what it is, but you're gonna jog my memory, but I know my sister I'm pretty sure my sister got it for me. So you can blame her. I
But it was a purple street sign looking thing and it said Pimp Avenue. I remember this. And it was hanging up on the door. You remember that? Pimp Avenue. Yeah, baby. I lived on Pimp Avenue.
I didn't. You didn't. Just so we're all clear. Yeah, it wasn't. I was not to pimp. It was across the street from a church. Yeah. The opposite of pimp avenue. I did not live on pimp avenue. Right. I was not by any definition a pimp, both in the literal and figurative definition. Yeah. But yeah, street signs were weird, man. Pimp avenue. That is great. I remember I stole a bus stop sign. What's like people's like obsession with just like-
I don't know. Municipality signs like government issued. I've thought about this is serious. I've thought about going and stealing the signs on the corner of my childhood block.
Like I've looked at like the bolts and stuff that they're used to like be in there and just like, oh, I could. We're idiots. I think it's like maybe a millennial thing to do that. Yeah. You know what? I've gone so far to be like, I wish I could get my hands on a whole traffic light and turn it into like a light in your room. Like a fucking disco ball. Like a chandelier. First of all, those things are like 200 pounds. I know, but I'm a young idiot. You are. Like that would be sick. Like I don't, I'm an idiot, bro.
Well, people had the like, I've seen people in their rooms have like the one that's on a stand.
Like, not the ones that... Because in New York, most of them hang from a fucking... From an arm. But they have ones that are like... Or the one that I've seen before are like railroad crossing ones. What are we doing? Who cares of your room? There's no train in your room and you ain't plowing anyone, idiot. Yeah. Well, you're not in Pimp Avenue, so... I'm not on Pimp Avenue. That's fair. You know what's funny? Whenever you see pictures of like, here's a... Like,
Like, a man cave to me is so corny. Yeah. Like, to be like, oh, here's my man cave. Because all the signs are basically... Yeah, it's just like, get the hell out of here. It's time for beer. Yeah, it's like the male equivalent of, like... Live, laugh, love. Live, laugh, love, wine. It's wine o'clock. It's five o'clock somewhere at Margaritaville. Eat. We've fully turned the idea of having, like, a man cave into, like, a full industry now. It's horrific. People, like, make money off of, like...
designing man caves and it's just like we're gonna put a sign on the wall that says parking for jet fans only. Yeah, and it's like also there's like a whole beanbag chair. First of all, beanbag chair. You're 45. Shut up, shut up. You're not getting in and out of a beanbag chair that's shaped like a baseball glove. Shut up. Love sack. You're gonna defend
Big bean bags? Love sack. If you're watching this, I'd love a giant 10-foot bean bag chair. He'd love a sack. Someone give him a sack he can jump into. See, now he's making fun of you, love sack. I am not. I am fully accepting any and all free gifts that you're giving me. You're a whore. Dude, gaming in a bean bag chair hits fucking different. I will say that. Yeah, it hits your lower back different. You try to climb out of that thing. It hits your sciatica. Yeah. It makes your sciatica hit different. And now they've turned... Now...
Women have gained control. Yeah, you know of what now there's like man caves and girls are like I want a she shed you heard those No, yeah, it's like he shed she shed it's like turning like a shed into like a woman cave I'm not gonna I'm not trying to like be like super but that I that sucks too and no it's not like Pronouns that you were giving. Oh, yeah, I go by she said yeah, that's my she shed over there. Wait, what it's a shed outside. Oh
That's the idea. With she. It's like men have their cave because being a man is being in the dirt. And then women have a shed. That's the idea that has been the prevailing. Is that a room or is it like an outdoor? I think it's become like...
There's like because I remember we've seen in looking for houses in Jersey. We've seen People have literally been like this is the man cave and then they'll like it'll be like a designated spot in like the garage and it'll be like this she shed and it's like the idea of like there's like an art studio out there and shit like that and it's like listen if you're a smart man your entire house is a she shed and
You're not gonna be able to make good aesthetically pleasing decisions on what furniture should go into this place The whole thing should kind of look like a sheesh I will say I will say if this whole debacle you got going on here goes down
You have a future in being an interior designer. That's because I go online on Pinterest. Joey, guys, I kid you not. As if this guy needs more reasons to be fucking the internet's darling. He is legitimately great at designing. Like, his apartments have, like, a real good, like, feng shui to them. And, like, you find, like, good everything, dude. Like, it's honestly, like...
Very impressive. Like, people think of, like, you know, going to this man's fucking apartment and it's going to be like, I have a fucking lawn chair and a TV and beer in the fridge. No, like, he has, like, a well-balanced, nice decor. Thanks, man. You do. It's really impressive. You're not as good as Becca, though, so fuck you. Well, okay. But I go on Pinterest and I just put in, like,
I don't even know. Like, wood and white. That's it. And you don't get any pictures of, like, boners or anything? It's Pinterest, so... I'm sure you can find it. It's not Google. You're not going to go to... I think I used Pinterest once in college, and then someone was like...
pretty gay. And I was just like, well, I guess like, yeah, not my whole personality. It's basically a vision. My whole personality was trying to avoid being called gay. Right. You know, so I had to get off of Pinterest. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was 2010 for Christ's sake. What were we doing? You know? Yeah. But, uh,
It is so stupid. How dumb are we as a society? I don't know. All right, guys. Come into my man cave. Pimp my ride. Fuck that up. I mean, that was the dumbest show ever. I saw one the other day that was like, I know you want to talk. I'm not going to let you. I know that. It was a van that had a slot machine on the outside. On the outside? On the outside. It was like, in order to get in, you need to pull the lever. He's like, try to open the door. And he tried to open it. And the exhibit's like, not open it.
And then he's like, pull the lever. And it was like a custom slot machine. And that unlocked the door. Why? Why do we need that? That's so stupid. And then he opened it and there was a piano. In his car? I heard you're like, piano dog. I heard you once took piano lessons. So we put a whole piano on the back of your van. That's so stupid. Yeah, so stupid. But I will say, I have seen videos of people who clearly have money, but have like a big backyard. And like, they have like a...
I guess like a pool house, but they've turned it into like a legit bar. Like it looks like a, like a dive bar. Cool. If you're an alcoholic, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah. Or if you have, if you live in one of those neighborhoods where I'm picturing like long Island, because I,
I feel bro. I went to a bar. Here we go in Long Island one time Yeah, and that was the first this is a while ago It was the first time that I saw like white claw like at a bar. Okay, so I was like, oh my god Like that's how long ago it was but I went there It's called Dublin deck for those of you in Long Island who probably got I've been there We are the same person Joe and I but I went and there was a band setting up So I was like, oh dude, let's stay like this will be dope. Um
So we stayed. Bro, a lot of the people... By the way, full parking lot. Then the parking lot's empty. No one is not drinking in that place. Just letting everyone know. If you're a cop and you need to make some quotas, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Dublin deck. Go ahead. But most of the... It felt like most of the people there were like 47. Okay. And I was like, where are all the children? Like they turned 12 and they're like...
The mama's going out! Which I respect. So I was gonna say, if you live- Turn 12? What? You said that- you said- Once the kids turn 12. Oh, like the mom is leaving. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm going out. I'm going to party. You can watch yourself. You're old enough. Just an insane thing to say. Where are all the children? Oh, oh, no. I was thinking- I know. I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. Where are your kids if you're here? Yeah. Um, but-
If you live in a neighborhood like that where it's like, okay, everyone is sort of around the same age and it's like the kids are at that age where it's like they can kind of watch themselves or whatever so the parents like to party, then having a bar in your backyard is actually kind of nice. Yeah, I mean, I've seen the extent to which I've seen, again, looking for houses have been like tiki bars. I hate that. I think that's...
It's not like tiki theme. That's just what they call them. I don't like when the roof is hairy. Yeah. You know what I mean? Unless we're in a tropical place. That's a traditional tiki bar, but I'm saying they just call them tiki bars, and it's just an outdoor bar. It has a fridge. It has a TV. It has a bar and some stools. That, I think, is pretty cool. But if you're basing your whole decor over yacht rock and fucking Jimmy Buffett, maybe
Maybe, listen, RIP to the white king, but maybe don't do that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude. It was a Margaritaville sign in your backyard. Also, I'm thinking from a parent perspective, I know what we were like when we were 15 and there was alcohol in the house. If there was a bar in my home when we were that age, I would have been...
i guess i was drunk a lot as a kid but like you know like that would have been way more dangerous so thinking as a parent like i don't know if i am going to i need to raise really responsible kids to be like comfortable putting a fully stocked bar in my home there was never any alcohol like in my house i feel like like there was no like liquor like oh okay my mom i remember your dad drinking vodka and your dad drinking wine
No, my dad, my mom drank wine, but I didn't. When you're young, you're like, fuck wine. Why? Yeah. Wine is so stupid. Also, also, what did we say before? If you drank wine in 2007 and you were a man, you were definitely gay for sure. Yeah. And I couldn't, you know, uh, but, but, uh, yeah, my dad would buy like beers and stuff, but he would, he, they weren't in the fridge. Like he would have, he would buy them because he was going to drink beers and
Buy a six-pack, drink a six-pack. And there was never like, oh, there's a bottle of Jack Daniels. So it was never this like sneaking. Yeah, I remember. We didn't have a bar cart. We didn't have anything like that. See, I vaguely remember because we would host. I mean, you remember. We'd host New Year's and stuff like that. So like after New Year's, there would be leftover stuff. But it was like as a teenager, it was like whatever you could get your hands on. So I remember once I just found a bottle in my house and it was just Amaretto.
Oh my god, you freak. The worst in the world. To this day, I can't drink it because it's disgusting. There was another time where it was just like... What's going on with you? Are you blowing up? My body is... There was another time I drank straight... It was like Pucker's Sour Apple Liqueur. Oh, I'm thinking Smucker's. I'm like, you drank fucking... Oh, it was so gross. Strawberry jelly? But there wasn't a lot of alcohol in my house year-round, but like...
Sometimes, you know, like my sister and her friends would have like they would have drinks every now and then or like they'd go out and like they'd leave a bottle home and it was just like, oh shit. You know, everyone would take one sip each and be like, I feel funned up. Why do I feel so funned up? Who has a cigarette? You know, we never did cigarettes. We were never cigarette kids. I imagine it would be so funny to have like five of your friends like everyone take one. Shut up.
I'm high. Oh my god. I'm high off the stakes. I remember there was a kid in college that was like one of our suitemates and he was like the typical like gets to college. He's like super buttoned up. You know who? And then you. You're talking about you. No, I was a party dude, dude. And then what? Then you were. No. And I still partied, bitch. What the hell are you going to say?
As I was saying. And, like, the kids in our suite were, like, they, like, he had a couple drinks with them. And, like, he was, like, I want to have a cigarette. And I saw him outside smoking a cigarette, but it was in between his fingers like this. And it, like, his fingers, like, closed around it, and he was smoking. He's smoking it like he was a bird. Like a talon. Like, literally, like, he's fucking Bane. He's, like, hello. You know, like.
That's fire. I got my Bane reference on here. Now he's fucking addicted. I don't know where he is. He was a cool dude, actually. I can't talk shit. No, he failed out, and now he's a drug addict. That's crazy. No, I think he graduated. He was like our class treasurer or some shit like that. He was a cool dude. Definitely doesn't watch this. I'm not going to say his name. Love that. Treasure. Big fan of Treasure. We do have ads for today. The first one being, how you doing? Zoc Doc. All right?
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And talk to you, maybe, possibly. We've had some really interesting conversations, that's for sure. So go to thebasementyard.com slash submit. Put in which show you're going to. Answer some of the questions. Tell us some funny stories, deep-talk secrets you never know. We might talk to you about you. And if you want to be kept anonymous, that's completely fine. But go check it out. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the support. I'm going to get it right all back to Joey. Joey? It's sounding good.
It's sounding good. You love, like, doing the... Talked with you, about you, inside of you, outside of you, behind you. I'm not talking inside anybody. I know. That's a crazy one there. You're just, like, naming a bunch of things. That's a crazy one. Anyway. Speaking of inside, we want to talk... Let's talk about J.D. Vance, okay? He's the new VP for, what, Donald Trump? Running mate? Running mate for Donald Trump. Yeah. We're not going to get political here, folks. We like to keep our nose... I also...
I don't know about JD Vance. Anything about it? I gotta say, good name. It sounds like a thing that sells vacuums. Like a company like, welcome back to JD Vance. I was gonna say, you're missing a big obvious reference here.
J.D. Vance. Oh, Vance Refrigeration. There you go, baby. Vance Refrigeration. Scranton's finest refrigerating company. Right. But it's not that. But there was a story that came out recently. Not a story. I think it was like a tweet that kind of went viral and then turned into a story. But the tweet said...
Can't say for sure, but he might be the first VP pick to have admitted in a New York Times bestseller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions. What? Yeah. Hold on a sec. I just want to say before we start talking about this. Why inside-out latex glove? Yeah. The outsides... Wait. Oh, but I was going to say the outsides can be textured sometimes for grip. So maybe he did it because it was like a little rubbery bumpy. But why would you want that?
Ribbed? Oh. Oh, they're not... Oh, maybe. Fucking something with a little texture, babe. Before we even make comments about the story, I just want to say that the Associated Press put out a story about this, and then it was recanted. We're going to decide to forget about that and just assume that this is insanely accurate and true. This is crazy. Honestly, though, here's the thing. Resourceful. I was going to say, this makes him...
More of the common man appealing to... Explain that. Does the common man fuck latex gloves inside out between two couch cushions, Frank? I think that if we look... What have you fucked between two couch cushions, Frank? I keep adding S's to words. I'm just saying. You ever hump a couch? A lot of...
Bro, couches get humped. Wait, you've humped couches? Probably, yeah. Don't probably. Bro, you don't say probably. You yes or no. I'm not looking at a couch and going, that's a sexy couch. No one's saying it. But you've humped a couch. I've been on a couch while I have humped. So maybe the couch caught some residual hump. No, that's not what I'm saying. There has been some residual hump on a couch. You at a couch. No other being around. I don't think so. No, I don't think I have. Have you? I don't know. But here's what I'm saying.
Here's what I'm saying. I know a woman who said she used to hump the arm of a couch. Bro, women, this is how useless men are. They can get off to couches, bro. No, no, no. Women, women, women. I know. That's what I'm saying. They don't need us. Women don't need us, dude. They can get off to a couch. You think that you're special, dude?
You're not special. You're not special. I'm kind of special, I like to think. But, like, if a woman could get off to a fucking just a nice old lazy boy. Frank. There's no hope for us. You can't say that. There's no hope. I used to jerk off to clothed women in a magazine. This is my point. Listen, that's the point, Joey. You used to have to look at a woman and jerk off. You weren't. I didn't need to do that. Okay. I didn't need to do that.
Trust me. Women can get off just imagining a peaceful world and a couch. That's all they need. They don't need us. You're making a bad argument. I don't. Because I think that both people do this. Just so we're all clear, this is a joke. Yeah, I know. This is a big joke. But you're trying to be a white knight. And I don't think that we should make excuses for women humping the edges of couches like a snail. It's crazy that he only allows me to be a white knight.
That's an expression. I know, Joey. I know it's an expression. This is all joke. Black Knight, though. Great movie. Martin Lawrence. Really good. Also, cooler knight. Cooler looking. I haven't even seen a picture of a black knight. Black knight with red eyes? Did it have red eyes? Like, black armor with red eyes? Way cooler looking of a knight than a white knight, dude? Yeah. But back to what I was saying. Yeah. How many times have we heard stories of people fucking inanimate objects and been like, yeah, yeah.
Wait, how many because I don't know American pie this dude is fucking a cherry pie like it's going out of style Yeah, he was fucking he was fucking I did finger up pumpkin pie and it was not bad and he Joey's so like it's like a past like America's pastime baseball other stuff there's other stuff in there, but possibly having sexual getting sexual gratification from an inanimate object or
Couches. That's like a coming of age thing. And isn't the book that it's, he's from, isn't the book or something about his life called like Hillbilly Elegy? Who? It was made into a movie. I'm pretty sure. J.D. Vance? J.D. Vance. I think so. I could be wrong here. This dude has a movie made about him? I believe. I don't know if it's made about him. I can't sit here because I've never seen the movie. Did someone rail their couch in it?
I don't know. This is wild because if you're fucking an inside-out latex glove between couch cushions, this is like your 300th time doing it. Yeah, you've figured out... You don't start with latex glove, G. You know what I'm saying? You start with other shit. He had to, like... You can see, if you get to that level of advancement, there's...
test trials beforehand that are just like, you know, like there he had to go through and just be like, all right, the couch cushions aren't enough. I will say that I've been on some pretty tight couches. Very tight. You know what I'm saying? Like old timey couches where they're just like those fucking cushions are stuffed in there. Yeah. Yeah. Some couches are hard though. Like I feel like this would put rug burn on my wiener. That's why dude, but that's, but that's why he does the glove. I'm sure he lubed it up too. Doesn't he lube it up? Doesn't he?
Does he? It's just the pressure. He must. Pressure of the cushions is probably what's really getting him there. But have you ever been so tired that you're just like, oh, I just want to sleep on this couch. And it's just like, oh. That part, I don't know what you're talking about. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, my God. You just want to fuck the couch? Is that what you're saying? I'm not saying, I'm not me, but like you've been so tired that you're just like, I'm just going to jump on this couch.
No. Where is the, are you asking me if I just want to take a nap on a couch? Oh yeah, I've done that. I don't know where you're trying to fit in the rest of this shit. Cause I'm now I'm confused. I've definitely jumped on my couch and be like, I'm going to take a big fat nap. You ever had a couch that was hot, hot, hot to the site. Like sexy. Yeah. Sexy. Yeah. Never had a sexy couch.
My last couch, like the first like three months I had it, I was like, it's sexy as hell. This couch has a fat ass. Yeah? Yeah. It has like those, like the arm pieces are like those big, like it's like a butt. You know what I'm saying? Slap that shit. And it's got like rivets in it. And you're like, those look kind of like nipples. I've done that. Well, now you're.
Losing you a little bit? Yep, I think so. Back up, back up, back up. Big butt arm thing. Now we're talking. Because that was right by my door too. So sometimes I'd leave the house and slap it on the ass. You were sitting there and fingering like dolls and pies and shit. It's not. That was one time. The pie was also one time. So two times. Yeah. It's not out of the question that you could have had sex with a couch. By the way, latex glove. Get a condom.
Same thing. I mean, you gotta be inventive sometimes. Maybe he didn't have condoms in his house. He only had latex gloves and a very, you know, moist mouth. What kind of household has a bunch of latex gloves and no condoms? I think it's probably more common than you think, Joey. To have latex gloves? In a house? Yeah, I think it's more common. For what? Surgery? Cleaning. People use them for cleaning and stuff like that. The yellow ones. You get the March Simpsons. Yeah, and they have, like, the bumps on them. Imagine turning that inside out. Oh, I don't... The inside of the yellow gloves smells mad weird. He turns them inside out, Joey. I still...
Yeah. But still, that'd be weird. It would be weird. You ever smell your hands after you use those yellow gloves and you're like, oh, it smells like an old person. I hate, I hate my hand. I hate smelling my hands after using gloves. I agree. I hate it, dude. I fully agree on that. Also, putting on latex gloves. Oh, yeah. Bro, fuck these. I do. I used to use latex. My dad, you know, used to do a lot of, like, plumbing work. And when we were kids, he would put latex gloves on under gloves to make sure his hands don't get, like, wet and he has better grip.
Bro, this guy lost thousands of latex gloves to water balloons. We would admit the minute we saw my dad had them, we filled them up with water. We tied them up. Water balloons. They were udders. Yeah. They were everything. You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about? You know? Yeah. But the first five condoms that you ever opened in your entire life, how many of those were water balloons and how many of those did you jerk off into? Because I know the first five weren't used for sex. Yeah.
I don't think there's anyone in the world that the first five condoms they've ever opened were for sex. I'm jerking off in this just to see how it feels. Then I'm filling it with water. One was probably just for like... Oh, putting it on your arm. Examining it and throwing it on my arm. You know what I mean? And just being like, what the hell? You know, or something like that. The first time I put a condom on my arm and it reached here, I was like, oh my God, I have a micro penis. You do have a micro penis. There's no way I could ever... You do, you do, you do. Stop. I would... It like...
I would say, like for exploration, the first five for me, I wasn't fucking sitting there just cranking into fucking... No, I wasn't either.
But it would happen. It happened. Of course it has happened in my life. It was two out of five, for sure. Are you saying two out of the five you're jerking off into? I've definitely jerked off into two condoms in my life. Oh, I would say, yeah, two, absolutely. When I was like 15, 14. Do you remember the thing was just like, have your condom in your wallet all the time? And then people's wallets would just have that big ring on it. Bro, my mom picked up my wallet. And it wasn't, the condom wasn't in there.
Because I probably used it as a water balloon, not because I was fucking. But it was just buried into the wallet so you could just see the circle. It was like the imprint, yeah. And she just literally went like this and handed me the wallet. I was like, fuck. I think there's a level like, granted, I'm one, not a mother. Two, I have very young children.
I wonder what it's going to be like when our generation gets to that age where they have kids that are like exploring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because do you do the classic parent of just like, the hell is this? Or do you have like a, listen, let's talk. You know what I mean? It's going to be really interesting. What parent do you think you'll be if and when you find out your children are sexually active? I'm definitely not going to be...
I've thought about this because I remember someone telling me one time that when they were, I think, either 14 or 15, a woman went to their father and said that they wanted to experiment with sex, and the father took them to go get condoms. That's where I would like to be. That was me. I was not the woman, but that was me. You went to who? Your dad? I was in the car with my dad. We were driving back from his house, because remember, split parents, and...
I said to my dad, like, Dad, do you think you could buy me condoms?
Fire. How old were you? I've told this story a dozen times. I'm shocked you don't remember it. I don't remember anything. This was his moment. He was making up for all of the shit. He bought you some supercharged double ribs? Yes. Really? I forgot. Dan Soder, I think, had a really good bit about split parents where he's just like, the way that your dad makes up for everything is just insane. They buy you insane shit, like gifts and everything. So I remember in that moment, I said, Dad, I think...
Can you buy me condoms, please? He peeled off and went into like a CVS parking lot. Dude, legit. And he bought me, it was the Trojans, the green ones. And they were like, it was like- How many? Corkscrew or something like that. Bro, it was like a box of 24. Jeez, dad, take it easy. I know, that's what I'm saying. This isn't Columbia. And he bought them for me and he gave them to me because it was like a condom. And at the top, it was made so it was like-
Like, it looked like a corkscrew almost. Oh. And he was like, so you can drill that shit in. Frankie. I swear to God. I've told this story before. I'm shocked you don't remember it. You've said this to me. Yes. I've told it on the- Your father gave you a condom for the first time before you had to- Not a condom. A box. A 24 condoms. And it was corkscrewed. And he said, so you can drill it in. Yeah. I'm shocked you don't remember this. Yep. And he was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life. Yeah. Absolutely. But I feel like any home you need-
So you can drill it in. I'm shocked you really don't remember this story. I don't know that I've heard this story. That feels like something I'd remember. Green Trojan box. So you could drill it in. What did you say? I said, like, yeah, twisted pleasure. That's what they were. But what did you say to drill it in? I don't remember. Maybe I haven't told the story long enough that I don't remember. That would have thrown me. I would have been like, oh, my God, I have to spin when I do it?
Just stand still. Yeah, stand still. I'm going to do a cartwheel. Regardless, but like that was my experience with my dad buying the condoms. But what I was saying, bringing it back to what we were talking about, you need – I feel like you need one parent to be like, absolutely not. You need one parent to be like, let me teach you. You need that –
Both ends of the spectrum there so you can fall right in the middle. You know what I'm saying? I hope that my children will come to me for anything. I don't want to be overly strict, but I also don't...
The thing that I loved, like the coolest thing I think about my parents is that they just like let us be who we are. They didn't really interfere too much. They were like strict in some ways, but very like, go ahead, do whatever the fuck. So they never talked to us about sex. Yeah, I mean, there's definitely, you want to foster. Remember I told you my dad with condoms, I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. And he just said, just remember, you could be blue, you could be yellow, you could be red. And I didn't know until like an hour later. I was like, oh, he was talking about condoms.
I was like, what the fuck was that? That was what he said to me. That was it. It was never like... He was just naming off colors of condoms? Just remember, you could be blue, you could be red, you could be yellow, you could be green. What the hell does that even mean? Bro, exactly. I was like, what the fuck kind of speech was that? I thought he would be referencing about sexual identity and stuff like that. Like, I love you no matter if you're gay, straight, blue, green. That sounds like a very thing your dad would say. Bro, did I ever tell you...
I don't know if I've said this on the show or not. Definitely don't clip this because my mom has Instagram. But when my room was in the basement, sometimes I would have people come over. You'd have sex. Shocker. And one time, I don't know why, because it wasn't used, but there was a loop. But it got left there. Who's...
I didn't bring it. I mean, obviously, I live there. Whose lube? The girl's lube. Oh, the girl brought lube? Yeah, but like... Spermicidal? I don't know. I don't know. Well, it was on the floor. Because we didn't... Just a bottle of lube on the floor. It was a tiny one. It was like a travel size. Why would you need to travel with this? You got to get on a plane with lube. But I woke up in the morning to my mom going, what's this? Holding it. And I was like, I don't...
What is that? I don't know. And she just took it and just kept walking and like we never talked about it. She, I mean. She probably thought I was down there dogging ass anally. Whatever you, she doesn't know for all she knows you were. Yeah, I guess. But I mean, I don't think that has ever happened in my home where like my mom found like a condom or condom wrapper or something like that. That's never happened to me either. Yeah, I can't, I honestly can't think of a time. I can't think of a time.
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On-time payment between January 2021 and March 2024. Payment and credit activity outside kickoff can have an impact on your credit. Terms and conditions may apply. Offer subject to change. Individual results may vary. Okay. And I guess... I do have one question before you move on to this next thing. Are either of your parents at the point in their life where they're like asking for more grandchildren?
No. Because, like, my mom one day was just, like... I think I, like, joked and said, like, oh, more... You know, we're... And, like, my mom was like, yes. I was like, that's weird. What do you get out of that? Like, I just... Like, the idea of just, like... Like...
When parents reach an age where they're just like, I want grandkids. It's just like, I want you to do that thing to them and then make me grandkids. That's a strange concept, right? Yeah. I know not a lot of people see sex like that. She's trying to direct your jizz. You know what I'm saying? She hasn't done that, but like...
When parents do that where they're just like, I want more. Or like, I've seen someone on the internet say this, but like, it's weird when people tell you like, we're trying and it's just like... You're blasting your life. That's a lot of information. Yeah, we're giving it a go all the time. It's tough. We're really trying. And like, I know people do that for like a sense of like, you know, camaraderie with their family because it's not easy for everyone to have kids, but like...
That's just a weird conversation to have at like dinner. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm coming in here, all right. How's that Caesar salad? By the way, we're trying to have kids, and it's just like, ugh. We've been trying. We went on vacation. We tried all the time. Trust me. All right, what were you going to say? I know you were really eager to get into what you wanted to get into. No, I don't know, but it was just funny that you brought that up about the, like, yeah, we're trying. Like, your mom's like, yeah. I don't get it, though. Like, what does your mom get out of more grandkids? I mean— Just seeing people?
Like seeing more... My understanding, obviously, I'm not a grandkid. From what I've heard... I mean, I am not a grandkid anymore. Technically, you're not. Technically, a former grandchild here. Tell them why. All of them. Dead. Shipped up to Boston with fucking... What's his name? Mr. Rogers. Apparently, from what I've heard from grandparents, it's like...
All the best parts of having kids with none of the worst parts of having kids. I mean, granted, there are some grandparents that do a lot of work. You know, I know your mom is like that. My mom is like that. You know, my in-laws are like that. But, like, it's like you can have all the fun parts. Way to save that. Go ahead. Go. Save what? I said way to save that. Save what? It's like, you know, a lot of grandparents, they don't want any of their responsibility.
Our grandparents. It's true, bro. It is fucking insane. I know. Okay. Jesus Christ. I know how much work your fucking mom does, bitch. But I also saw one thing that was like, it fucking not broke my heart, but it made me look at it very different. And it's like, the reason that your parents love your children is because it's the closest thing they can get to having you be a child again. And I was like, no, no.
Don't do that! They're using your child. They're using for their own gain. Yeah, absolutely. Just go to THRP. You know what I'm saying? Oh, this guy with his fucking THRP. This guy with his fucking... I'm joking. No, you're not. Joey is so horny for therapy, dude. And don't even say you're not. I am.
But like... Joey is so horny for therapy. You love therapy. Oh, it's so good. Have you ever like... I'm not going to ask that. All right. What other stories have you got? What were you going to say? Have you ever had like such a deep conversation that it gets you like horny? And I'm not talking like friend horny. I mean like sex horny. Yeah. What's friend horny? Explain that. I don't know. You're having so much fun with your friends that you get horny? No. No. No. So what is friend horny? Let's make sure we say that very clearly. What is friend horny? Just like...
Horny, I think, could be used in different contexts now. Like, horny just means like... It's 2024. In this time. Like, you could be... Like, horny for food is hungry. You know what I'm saying?
You're like hyper horny for food is just really hungry. I've eaten food and been like, I'm fucking horny. But like, I don't know. Food horny. You know what I'm talking about. I've never gotten. Like, you're not going to stick your dick in any more pies like you did when you were a kid. I didn't stick my dick in any pies. Sorry. Fingers. Whatever. Finger. Yeah. Still weird. It fine. Uh, I don't think aphrodisiacs work.
Yeah, people are just like, yo, these oysters are gonna get you so horned up. And it's like... It's like, I'm actually kind of grossed out by the oysters, but I like the way they taste. Yeah, people have just, like, assigned food to sex. Like, oh, wait till you have these chocolate-covered strawberries. And it's like... I don't... I think it's because of the mouth. Like, what it does to your mouth. Yeah.
But like there's nothing sexy about eating an oyster. Also, I don't know about you, but every time I eat an oyster, I have to be like, okay. Really? It's disgusting looking. Oh, I slurped it out. You look at an oyster objectively and you go, wow, delicious. Yeah, personally, yes. Because it looks like snot. You're ruining it for me, so please stop. Stop yucking my yum here. Let me have this. I hate that. Yucking yums? Don't yuck my yum. Why? Why?
Because. Because you're doing it all the time. That's why. I do it all the time, too. I can't even talk shit. Honestly, you bring up something yuck and I will yuck it. I don't know. You know what I'm talking about. Where are we? Where are we? I don't know. Oysters, horny. Where are we? What else is an aphrodisiac? I think people say chocolate. Let's live aphrodisiacs. Food aphrodisiacs. Well, in order to do that, I'm going to have to spell it correctly. Afro. Uh-oh. Got it.
What is the greatest aphrodisiac? Avocados. Definitely not. If anything, that's worse than oysters. Bananas. I could see because of the phallic nature of the shape. Red wine. Now we're talking. Maybe I get horny over that red. If red wine's an aphrodisiac, this dude's horny all the time. Wait till you see Joey off at a red. Pumpkin seeds. Pumpkin seeds? What? Who the hell? Let's do it. Yeah, bro. Like, what the hell?
Uh, watermelon? I kind of get it. That's just wet. It's like, oh. What is that? That's me eating watermelon. We should do an episode where I just do the sound of eating food and you tell me what food it is. I think we've done that, actually. Wow. Weird. Foods and herbs to grow your sex drive. Here we go. Herbs? Lavender or some shit? Pomegranate? What? I don't...
pomegranate that why it feels like an old who's big big food is trying to get us horny for food salmon definitely not yeah although that's salmon nigiri we had in atlanta yeah you were horny for that i might have done something yeah it says avocados bananas salmon chocolate oysters watermelon red wine pumpkin seeds pumpkin seeds pumpkin seeds insane one is there a food that like gets you going that isn't like one of these honestly
And not horny, like sexually horny. Anytime I have like a really good meal, I get sentimental. And it's become like a joke with like... Sentimental? Yeah. So like heart horny. You know what I'm saying? Like it's become a joke literally. You're replacing actual feelings with just the word horny. I guess. Yeah. I guess. I...
Like a couple months ago. I just had a good meal in Was that Nashville we have we've got a good meal everywhere. We've been what I just had out We've had it all well no because you said by the way, this is for here we go and we went to this restaurant and the menu had like, you know, it's not just like steak or burr, you know, it's like a like nice food that you probably normally wouldn't eat and
Frankie at the end of the meal, I hear him at the end of the table be like, I like that because like, I felt like there was like passion. Yeah, baby. And I was like, you! Yeah, it was me. I was like, I could hear you. It was me. That was the top chef in me talking. But is that the, that's what you mean by like sentimental? It was like, oh, this is a nice meal. Well,
Seriously, whenever I have a really tasty good meal, I get sentimental. Tasty good. It's become a joke at the home. Literally, we'll be eating something. Becca will make like... Bro, for Father's Day, she made a fucking spread. And I'm talking a spread to end all spreads. And I was like, you know, guys? And literally, Becca and Miles go, ah, here we go. It's a thing. Whenever I'm having good meals, I get sentimental because... Where does it make you go? Just like...
I feel grateful. I feel... This bountiful meal. Yeah, like, it's true. Like, it's such a blessing to be where I am in my life with... Bless us, O Lord. For these and thy gifts I'm about to receive in the bounty of Christ. O Lord. Three men. Wow. I just, like, I get so grateful because, like, where I am in my life is where I've always wanted to be. I have the most incredible... Just everything. Everything is working for me right now. And it's like, when there's a good meal in front of you... Except...
Except that good old belly of mine. No, I was gonna say your balls. What the fuck? Oh, yeah. But those, I put those down myself. Yeah, yeah. You know, I had to euthanize my nuts. So when you eat good food, that makes you reflect. It makes me very self-reflective. And when I am with the people that I love the most, my family, the team that we've put together, it makes me want to just remind people how much I appreciate them, our situation, and everything. So maybe it is the food.
Maybe I get hard horny. Maybe it is. But then for me, then it's steak. Yeah. Crab legs. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? You know, now that you say that, like the crab legs in Nashville. Dude, Nashville, great restaurant. Nashville. The two places we went to were great.
That's what the restaurants were doing on us all night. They were fucking snapping. Well, they definitely did that on the bill. I'll tell you that. They definitely snapped on the bill. And I definitely accidentally doubled it. Yeah, he goes, oh, it already includes gratuity? Double it. You got no one to blame but yourself. I don't know if I did that before or after I realized. I think it was after. Was it? For the sake of my story, after. I did have good wine, so I was like, ah. But this is what I'm saying. You never had a good meal. What's better than...
Good food with the people you care about. I agree. Also, for me, at that meal, we were sitting at the head of the table. So I got a full view of everybody. And that was nice. I like that. We know you like that. I was at the other head of the table. That's what I know. Didn't even realize that until now. Yeah. Damn. In a cowboy... What the fuck is that? I was going to high five you, but only two came out. Damn. Only two came out. Do you want a scissor? No. What's going on over there? All right. So maybe...
Maybe we ended on that. Maybe that is true though. Maybe the food is making you like, but we're sensitive. But it's not the food, like before, I can not eat any of the food and I can just be sensitive boy. Just seeing the food? Yeah. So how are you around Thanksgiving? Very. Because that's a double sentimental. Because it's good food, good people, and it's like, it's telling you like, the day is like, be fucking thankful, bitch. And it's just like, all right, okay, I'll do it. Christmas, yeah, I get like that too. You might, I don't know if,
I know you cook. You know, the joke has been previously that Joey doesn't cook. You do cook. But like, I made one year like the full spread. For Thanksgiving? For Thanksgiving. And it was like triple sentimental because it's just like, look at my thy gather. You know what I'm saying? They are good and gathered here. Look at that. You want to get me to talk about my heart?
Give me some good food. Becca knows it already. Now you know it. Now the world knows it. So there you go. Talks about his heart when you give him good food or if you give him a lot of MSG and he's at the doctor. Doc, tell me what's wrong. Yeah. But yeah, that's beautiful. I'll sacrifice my cholesterol for experiences with my loved ones.
I'll do it. All right, I'll do it. Fine. All right, I'll take a hot dog. If there's a giant holiday ham, I'll eat half of it, whatever. I'll deal with the problems tomorrow. Ham, dude. Ham. Ham. I only have ham once a year. And that's all you need. That's all you need. I don't know if that's exactly true. Because sometimes they're throwing it all out. But if you have it too much, then you'll be like... Well, sliced ham. Well, here's the thing. You have it once a year, but during Thanksgiving season, you have it like 10 times. Because everyone's like, Friendsgiving, Friendsgiving, Friendsgiving, Friendsgiving, Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving.
I like when Friendsgiving's just like, whatever. Like, I don't need to have turkey. Yeah. Or ham, honestly. Okay. Like, my mom makes a fucking mean ham. And a good turkey, too. God bless her. But, like, for a Friendsgiving, like, bro, just make what you can. When we were growing up, my dad was like, his specialty was the ham. And he then told us why it was his specialty. It was because he wouldn't season it.
He would... This is not a joke. This is going to be the most Colombian shit ever go. He would just dump cans of Coca-Cola on it. Oh, that's a thing, though. Bro, like... First of all... Several. Also, your dad is using Coca-Cola for sunbathing, which is incorrect. We know that. We've established that this guy does things ass-backwards for...
32 years now. Yeah, a little crazy. But he's just dumping Coca-Cola on this fucking... He'd be like, I do ham. It's gonna be best when you eat ham. It's a Coca-Cola ham. And it's just Coca-Cola. It's... There's nothing... Served with a glass bottle. He doesn't do like salt, pepper. He does do the pineapple. Yeah, I like that. But just Coca-Cola. All right, that's interesting. It's so crazy. You know what I like when people... Go ahead.
You see people like videos of them making their turkey and you know this turkey is gonna be good when they just stuff this thing's ass dude I I I know how to stuff a turkey. Let me tell you baby. Just like it's like rosemary fucking I don't even know rosemary sage Yeah, I threw I threw other leafy green compound butter in there. Oh Yeah shit like that. I let that shit brine overnight to hell
Yeah, you know one time I went to a Thanksgiving and I think the way Somebody's grandmother made it was like it was split and then they staple it spatchcock it maybe yeah, but then they staple it Staples that I there was a staple in my mouth during the meal Like medical grade staples that are used to like close people's heads up both
bulletin board staple in my mouth during Thanksgiving meal. That's crazy. The rest of the food was great, though. Turkey was good, too. But, God bless. Anyway, that's where we're going to end there. Thank you guys so much. Frank, where can they find you? At palverz8085 on Twitter, thefrankalberz, and all the forms of social media. Check out the Patreon, patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. And make sure you check out all the account pages that we have at thebasemanyard on any form of social media that you use. Joey, right back over to you. You guys can go follow me on... Thebasemanyard.com What? What?
You guys can go follow me at Joe Santagato on all forums and social media. Go follow the show at TheBaseMeArt on TikTok and Instagram and whatever else. And that is all. See you out there or see you next week or both.