Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back to the Basement Yard. Welcome back to the Basement Yard. Frank, how's it going? Now I don't know why I'm laughing. Well, oh yeah. Because before we were singing and I said something that you probably shouldn't say. I said, all right, hold on. Now I have to say what I was saying. Now it sounds like I was saying something I shouldn't really be saying. Which slur did you say, Frank? I didn't say any slurs. Yeah. I said the act. We were singing the Sean Kingston song. Right. Sean, you're Mr. Kingston.
Does he say that? No, Nicki Minaj said that. You don't remember? I don't. That song's... Damn, my guy just got... Yo, Sean Kingston? Got hits. And also just got pinched.
What? Guy got locked up. For what? Grand theft. What is grand theft? Just a big, big form of theft. A big theft? A big ol' fat theft. Is it like a... And also, what's grand theft auto? Is that like... A big ol' theft of autos. But like you stole like a nice car? Maybe. Can you have just like... I think now we need... Auto? Theft auto? You know...
Slow the fuck down. Jesus Christ. Give me a fucking minute to breathe. I asked one question. I wasn't finished with my question. Definition of grand theft auto. This is a very simple way. Grand theft auto is the act of stealing a vehicle without the owner's permission with the intent to permanently or significantly deprive them of it. Just sounds like a theft. Significantly deprive them of it. You can't have it. That's what makes it grand theft auto. Your tongue looks like you were eating pollen. Yeah.
What is that? Is that from tea? Seeds. It's funny because I had said in the car, I looked at my tongue, I was like, I'm going to make sure I don't show my tongue this episode. And you stuck it out immediately. It's a type of auto theft that's considered a more serious larceny crime because of the value of the stolen items. What's larceny? I don't know any of the crime stuff. Larceny sounds way cooler than theft. I want to larcen something. Larceny.
They don't sound good. Larson. Larson's... I'm thinking of fire. It sounds like a German Lawrence. This is my friend Larson. It's the size of the theft. So grand theft. I think he got in trouble for trying to defraud or steal a couple dozen thousand dollars. Well, we're rooting for Mr... We're rooting for the long arm of the law to do its job and Lady Justice to do her thing. Blind Justice.
Love your music, though. He's not. I mean, unless. Whose music? Blind Justice? No, Sean Kingston. Oh, I thought this was like some like new, you know, Quinnexy, CCIC. No. Fucking that I don't know about. It's like, oh my God, the new Blind Justice song. No, no, no. Yeah. Kind of, I do, very progressive that justice is blind, you know? That's not what that means. I know, I know. But like, have you seen the pictures of Blind Justice? She's holding like two things and she's got the thing over her face. Wait, that's a thing?
Should they have a mascot? She has a fucking, like, what's it called? What's it called? A fucking... What's it called? Oh, my God. Now you got me going. What's it called? Blindfold, bro. Blindfold. Yeah, she has a blindfold on. I almost said a head scratch. She's got, like, a dress on, and she's holding, like, scales and, like, something else. Oh, I've seen that. And she's just like, justice is blind, and so am I for justice. Right, yeah. You know? Justice is blind. Kind of nice. Is it? Because would it be better if it could see? Yeah.
Well, no. No, the idea of justice being blind is that if it did see, it would see people like— It would have biases. Yeah, exactly. Biases. You know, this is a big thing right now because certain—
People of prominence just got in a little bit of trouble and convicted of a certain amount of counts. I'm going to throw a number out there. Tear up. I'm going to throw some numbers out there. 34, yeah. 34, yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of counts. I just spit everywhere. Listen, we're not going to— A lot of counts, dude. We don't want to sit here and debate political— I don't even know which—there's a ton of lawsuits. There is something hysterical. He got swept, though. Lawsuits are not criminal. Lawsuits are civil.
A lawsuit is a... Bro, I don't even know what fucking larceny is. You can't... I don't know this shit, obviously. That's fair. You don't know much, if anything, about the law, do you? No, dude. I didn't go to college for that. You did. Well, you didn't go to college for anything. To be very clear. That is fair. I didn't go for law, but like... You did.
You did criminal justice. Criminal is in the major name. During my time, we did learn some law stuff. There you go. There was some law stuff. Ask me the... I know Grand Theft Auto as a video game where I could drive a car on the sidewalk and get away with it. Yes. And, well, get away... And also...
steal a fighter jet? How is that even? So Grand Theft Auto 6, by the way, coming out next year, a lot of people are very excited. Internal conversations reveal that they're already working on 7, so it might be four decades before we get that game. That's good. Yeah. But in Grand Theft Auto 5, which came out 11 years ago. Crazy? Whoa. Right? 11? 2013 was 11 years ago. That fuck you up yet?
Dude, my head was like this big back then. Yeah, and what about the one on your shoulders? What does that mean? That you have a tiny dick. Oh, oh. And your dick is really small. Dude.
Good job on the penis head joke. You know? But I would, in Grand Theft Auto V, I would just, I would make, it was like a challenge that I would drive to the airport. Steal a plane. Steal a jet and see how long I could last. Yeah. You know? And then whoever, like my friends in college, whoever lasted the longest won. Whoever lasted the shortest had like a shotgun of beer or something. Oh, cool. You know? So college was sick for you? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, forgive me! It's a joke! It's what people did. We did Burial Cart. We did Super Smash Brothers.
I did that too! We did beer drinky games. Yo, I mean I've said this before on an episode but Frankie bro was obsessed with duct taping 40s to his hands. Dude. Every single weekend he'd be like, "Yo, you wanna do Edward Forty hands?" I'm like, "Let's just drink them and have hands!" It's such a good, fun way to- You wanted to hold your piss. Maybe that's why you're pissing like crazy now. Maybe I'm pro piss boy. Yeah, Frankie pisses all over his car. He can't stop pissing all the time.
No, no, no, no, no. It's because he was obsessed with holding his piss. Yo, let's drink 240s and not pee. And I'm like, let's just have a good night. Dude, pissing is a part of bro culture, all right? Pissing is a part of dudes being guys. I'm not going to disagree with you because I will say two things.
Pissing in the snow? Fire. Pissing in the cold. I love seeing heat. Steam. I love that I can make heat. I love that too. I was going to say, the fact that I can make steam like a locomotive train is awesome. That's so cool. But then also, peeing on walls is fucking cool. Listen, pee is so cool. Like, pee is a cool part of being a boy, dude. Yeah. And like, you're breaking down barriers. Pee streams. Pee streams.
Dude, do you understand? Half the population doesn't understand how sick it is to aim and fucking weaponize your piss. And write your name or your crush's name in piss. What? What? Hold on. I thought we were on the same team there, but then you kind of stole all my- No, no, no, no, no, no. I intercepted your pass, went the other way. You never wrote your crush's name in piss. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Is this a bit? Is this a bit? Like on a wall or in the snow.
The placement of your crush's urine-filled fucking name is not the point of this. Yeah. It's just the fact that you were... Who thought that was romantic? You or she? I didn't show them. I didn't say here, but I was... So who is it for? For me. If you're not... Hold on. If you're not doing something to show your crush... Right. Then it's pointless. It's for me, bro. I'm crushing. I'm doing stupid crush stuff. So you're being like normal people when they're crushing...
We'll like write in their name, like Joey and fucking like carve it into a tree. Like Joey and Monica forever. Yeah. You're instead of doing, I've carved my name, you know, me and Becca's name into several trees. Really? Yeah. I didn't think people did that anymore. Oh, we did. We did it. Absolutely. Nice. But you, instead of being like, you know, like Joey and Monica forever and like a heart or like you're. I do that too. Okay. That's normal. Yeah. Yeah.
Writing your crush's name in urine when you're, let's be honest, probably inebriated is cute for no one.
I thought this was a safe space to be honest with you. I thought you know what else I'm not judging you I'm just showing you're not being here should hear the judgment in your voice. I'm showing the inherent stupidity in your logic First of all, I've done very stupid things you and I know there's untellable stories that we can't tell untellable stories I will never be told or tell will be told they'll never be tell they will be tell them no they will be tell um but
I lost it. There it is. What was I talking about? It's gone. Come back to me. Write it in piss and you'll find it, you fucking idiot. Oh, that's what I was going to say. Boom, piss. In the shower sometimes when the things will steam. That makes sense. I would write my crush's name, but then I'd wipe it. I don't know what that would do. Oh, shit. That was my, that was like, I think in my, this is so crazy. This is crazy. But I would, you're repeating it.
But it would fog and then I'd write her name and then I would wipe it because wiping it is just like I was like submitting it to something. You know what I mean? I'd be like, oh, write her name. Like, boom. Just like send it in. Yeah. I would do that. But with like exes, you know, I'd write their name and just be like, you're fucking gone. Wipe you out of my life. You know, just like your name was there. And now it's not, you know.
That seems a little violent. Yeah. I would really just... Yeah, just that. You know, just one of those. Do you have a squeegee? I do squeegee it. I have one too. I love squeegee. Dude, the videos of like window squeegees. Dude. Where they're like... I love that shit. Like videos of people cleaning windows. Squeegeeing. Squeegeeing. Squeegeeing. Squeegeeing. We love that when they do that. And also people can make a perfect circle. I'm like, what is...
Well, I don't care about it. Have you seen- Have you seen- Fuck circles. Have you seen the- Best shape. Easily. No, triangles, dude. Better than circles? There's interesting things on every single side of a triangle. Point, point, point. Circle is dull and stupid. It never stops. Where does a circle start? Wherever you want it to start. Exactly! But it's the same thing with a triangle. No, it's got corners. If you start a triangle at any- I draw triangles not at points.
Also, there's only one circle. Triangles is a bunch of triangles. But they're circular objects. There's no triangular objects except for triangles. Completely untrue. Or prisms. Triangular prisms. Can you talk prisms? Like you're eating soup.
I don't know. Don't get me started on soup. But I hear what you're saying about the writing the person's name in piss. Did you ever do it and tell them? Absolutely not. Because then you're associating your crush's name with the smell of fresh urine. Right, yeah. Which... Not good. Not good at all. I've told you. I don't know if I've said it on the show, but I feel like I've told you. But when I had a crush on Jane, and I asked her at the end of the day, like...
Like I like you do you like you like me and she's like I'm gonna write it on the desk and she wrote it in script didn't learn to script until two years later, so I was like What is this like is that a roller coaster? What is that? Why is s have a belly? Yeah
No, I had no idea what the fuck it was. That's all it was having crushes when you're a kid. It's not like... I just want yes or no. Not even yes or no, just validation. That's it. I'm crushing on you. Crush on me. You crush on me. And we don't have to talk. We don't have to talk. We don't have to hold hands. We don't have to hug. We don't have to kiss. Nothing. Nothing. Just want you to know. And I want to know. I definitely want to know. That's all it is. Yeah. And that's kind of like when you lose that sense of just like...
Love and wonder you know what I mean like you lose that now you need like validation comes in other forms Yeah, a simple hugs. Yes, or a little poster piece of paper torn out of a composition notebook Yeah, it says do you like me circle one? Yes, or no I did send that before and I have gotten several that came back with a circled or yes yeah, cuz I
Playing hard to get here. Which is way worse. Yeah. Way worse. Honestly, sending girls that note where it's like, do you like me, yes or no, is kind of like jury duty. Like, they're gonna try to get out of it. So they're gonna write no, or they're gonna circle yes and no, and you're like, what? I'm so confused. They circle the whole thing. You really have to send it three times to get an actual answer. It hurt because I've told this story, you know, I guess not this story, but like several, like, the idea of this is like, I was not, like, one to be crushed on as a little kid. You were a crush boy. You were a big crush. No, I mean...
I'm being honest. I've been violated though. So one time I think Violated? Hold on. In a note kind of way. Violated you? I've sent a girl a note before like do you like me yes or no and she turned the word yes and no into animals and I was like bitch what the fuck is this?
I'm supposed to know! It's almost, I would rather get the no, 'cause then I'd just be like, "Alright, fuck." But then, circling the oar means like, you know where you have me, and you're gonna fuck with me, and I don't like it, but I'm gonna keep pestering you and asking. Bro, but you know when you get an oar, that's a yes. Not me. My oars were just like, "We're gonna let him down gently, 'cause if not, he's gonna fuckin', you know, throw down a blue-eyes white dragon and take my fuckin' Exodia left arm." That's what I was about, babe.
That is for 0.1% of the people that listen to this. You know, I have an Exodia card. Zach gave it to me at the New Haven show. And I have it. What the fuck, Zach? Yeah. I want one. And I have it. And it's the head of Exodia. This is Yu-Gi-Oh, by the way. Yu-Gi-Oh cards. But he gave me an Exodia card. And I put it in my toiletry bag. And it comes with me everywhere. Zach! He doesn't listen to this. No, he doesn't. Zach! Yeah, I know. I want, please...
All I want is... Not that Zach. Not that Zach. What's Zach? Ruben's friend Zach. Oh. Not that photographer Zach. I thought the photographer. I was like, give it way further back than you. No, no, no. Although you pay him, so technically you guys have a closer bond. Damn. I want... Listen, hear me out. I'm just a simple boy that just wants to collect the Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon cards and maybe even some Digimon cards that I had when I was a kid. Ooh. I saw for a hefty price, but like a doable price, like a price of a watch.
a box set of like Pokemon cards and I was like uh oh how much like for the full set I gotta show this to you oh dude if you don't put that phone down right now
One of my favorite things that we do on this show is like, we're in the middle of a discussion and then someone gets really excited and the other one's like, I will literally cut my own head off if you follow along. Just don't care at all. Don't care. Just talking. You know what I mean? I think it was like a full box set of like base set Pokemon cards. What are we talking about though as far as like... $22,000? Yeah. Like first edition goes for like $100,000, but like...
The second edition which is like the base set. What are you gonna do with it? Play? Keep- No! You know what I'm gonna do with it? Put it in a glass case. Put it there and go, "Wait until people see this." And then- You know what you should do? Leave it open in the glass case to like a- No, it's sealed!
I'll show you this after. See, this is the thing about Joey. He doesn't want to see what I'm telling him, but he wants to ask 30 questions that could be answered by simply looking at it. I'm picturing it looking like what I imagine the Bible looks like. In a glass case, half open. No, no, no, that's the book. Listen, God, if anyone wants to be a fucking good member of the Basement Yard family, just give me your Pokemon cards, bitch.
Don't do that. Don't get Frankie Roach. Get me! No, it's like the boxes they would put at the deli where you would open the top and it would fold back like that. Oh, so you don't know what's in there. Well, there's packs in there. Presumably you don't know, but people have figured out ways to figure out if there's holographic cards and stuff. Oh, no. If I'm paying $22, I better get every fucking card.
I better get a fucking holographic. Well, did you hear what happened to Logan Paul? He bought like an entire collection for like $3 million and opened it and it was fake. Yikes. Or whatever the price is. $3 million might be a stretch, but like not cheap. Not cool. Not cheap. Definitely not a cool thing that happened. Dude, I would be so upset. Yeah. So fucking upset. We should get off of cards because... You want to know something really funny?
This is a serious true story. Serious, serious, true story. Based on our experience, we tell you guys about it every single week. Thank you for coming out, supporting us. It is literally, you're making our dreams. At the last show, Joey, before the show, sat me down and said, I just want you to know, you can't talk about Pokemon.
He like coached me like, dude, you can't do five to ten minutes on Pokemon. That I did see. And I'm like, it's Pokemon. Like, why not? And he's like, you can't. And then by chance, I guess Greg's sneaky little fucking fingers got a hold of a card.
A submission that we tell you guys to do at thebasicbeard.com slash submit if you're coming to any of the shows, and it mentioned Pokemon, and I was like, this is perfect. Yeah. It opened, and Joe quickly cut me off at the fucking knees. No, no, no, because it was like, I know how you get. Yes. And you're like, I'm just going to talk about Pokemon. Pokemon, yeah. Then you're like, I'm going to find someone in the crowd who likes Pokemon, and we're just going to go fucking squirtle for squirtle for 20 minutes, and I'm like, we can't do all that. I can't point at someone and say squirtle. That might get me in a little bit of trouble. Yeah.
And I also wouldn't pick the worst of the three starters. Definitely not Squirtle. I would say Charmander. No way. Bulbasaur is easily the worst. I don't know about that. I honestly don't know. I think Bulbasaur might have it too. Obviously. Charmander's not one. Of course. Without... Of course. It's not even close. Squirtle, though. Like, Venusaur is the worst. No, Venusaur's a big fucking...
Warded up fucking dinosaur. Yeah, but what about Blastoise? Blastoise is the guns, but like he's just a big old turtle. I want a dinosaur, dude. If I were to say, close your eyes, what's cooler, turtle or dinosaur? Turtle or dinosaur? What are you going to say? Blastoise. No, but that's not the question. Turtle. I almost saw a turtle. That's not... When I was in Connecticut. I saw one. We went on a boat ride, and then we got back. John was like, you just missed it, a big ass turtle. He's like, like this big. I was like, what?!
Shit! It's probably a snapping turtle. You don't want to see that. Yeah, you said that. I want to see it. Terror! Terror! Terror! Bro, aren't they like a billion years old turtles? They are very, very old. But snapping turtles will take your fucking... Also, what's a tortoise? Is that like a French turtle? I think they're just... They're grand turtles. Oh, yeah. That's what a tortoise is. It's just a bigger... There was that one... We went to a zoo down in Cape May when we were down there for a couple days. Two turtles fucking right in the middle of the fucking thing. One was on top of the other shell. One was on top, giving it.
And like the kids were so... They don't give it. They go slow, no? It's given, but just in a slower pace. Were they making noises? It was behind a really thick glass. I couldn't hear if there were noises. But Ruby and Miles were both like, well, you know, like what's going on? And we just said like, they're wrestling. Oh yeah, they're wrestling. Let me ask you a serious question. Yeah. Obviously you don't have any children yet, but if your children were to ever walk in on you... Fucking? Doing fucks. What would I say? What would your... How old are they?
25. If my children are 25 and living in my house to the point where they think they can just walk in. No, no, no. All right. Eight. Eight's a very inquisitive age. Is that how old Miles is? Miles is right now, yeah. He'll be nine in a couple weeks. I have no idea. And that would be tough because Miles is like 45 years old, basically. Yeah. Miles is an abnormal eight-year-old because he's very, very smart. But the normal eight-year-old, they ask questions about everything. They're very inquisitive. What's going on? Okay, what position am I in?
Am I in? I was going to say, that's something I didn't even think about. Would your wife be fucking you? Dude, no, that's not what I was saying, you dumbass. No, I meant like, is there a doggy style going on? Are the blankets up? Are we movie fucking? You know how in the movies it's like everyone's covered? And then they finish, roll over, and they always have it right here. They're like, oh.
Yeah, what is that? Blankets are shrown apart. Yeah, shrown. Strown. Yeah. You know, the blankets are everywhere. Pillows are fucking everywhere. Knocking over water glasses on the nightstand. Yes, yes. Like, this was a dirty fuck. Yeah, yeah. You know, not like a lovable one. Oh, okay, so I'm naked. Are you having sex clothes? No, no, no, I'm saying, my point is like, the kid can see mom and dad are naked. Yeah, dude. Oh, I mean, at that point, we were...
I have no idea, but that's hilarious. To an eight-year-old, I mean, you can't lie to an eight-year-old. You're like, you guys are fucking naked right now and fucking. But they don't know what fucking is. Like, what do you say? We were trying to make a baby.
You could not have made that worse, that situation. What am I going to say? How do you make a baby? Then 40 other questions roll in that you need to be prepared to navigate. That's fair. What would you say? Genius? I'm not saying... I wouldn't say we're trying to make a baby because then they're going to be like, wait a sec. Bro, I'm caught red-handed, red-ass, red-dick out, fucking vagina. I'm going to lie to a kid. What am I going to say? I can't have anything to say. You might want to get your ass and dick checked if they're red. I just want to put that out there. I'm saying red-handed.
You don't say we're trying to make a baby because kids will be like, I want babies. I want to go and make a baby too somewhere. You're not old enough to make a baby. We've explained to the kids making a baby is like, I give a watermelon seed to Becca and she says, she accepts it, she swallows the seed and a baby is made.
Okay, you think that's a good idea? Because if that's me... Way easier than we're fucking naked just throwing our fucking just wet meats at each other trying to make a child. Listen, if a person told me that I give mommy a watermelon seed and then she grows a baby, I'd be terrified of watermelon. That's why we buy exclusively seedless watermelons, Joey. Okay.
So you have to commit to the bit, Joey! You have to commit to a seedless fruit because you said that? Absolutely. Well, seedless watermelons are far superior. You should have just said any seed. You didn't have to mention. Watermelon's a very big fruit that, like... You could just say a seed. You could say a magic seed. Well, I think we have said it's... We call it a golden seed. We don't specifically say, like, a regular... You can't go to a store and buy one. If Miles walks in, you're naked. You're both naked. What do you say? My wife and I, you mean. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. You guys are in the middle of having sex, both naked. Yeah. The blankets are across the room. Yeah. And he walks in. What do you say?
I don't have the answer. I know the wrong answer. I was playing Pokemon, something like that. That would be a really weird way to... I have no idea what you would say at that point. I don't know what to say. I do know what not to say and saying we're trying to make a baby. Because then he's going to be like, or your child will be like, how do you make babies? Tell me that I want a baby one day. But yeah, at that point, that's what I'm saying. You're caught red-handed. You're kind of forced to have that conversation. Yeah, that's a whole layer of stuff.
You know, that you're gonna have to... What grade is eight? Three. Third. That's tough. Third grade. But we knew what sex was. We were different kids, dude. We were different kids. I knew sex way... Like, we knew sex way too early. Because we had siblings. Regardless. Like... Yeah. It's not like my sister was talking to me about it. I know, but, like, I feel like... Out there, I knew because of, like, boys being boys at the lunch table, like, what fucking titties are, dude. Like, that's, like...
Dude, I mean, what age should you start being like, okay, so mommy and daddy, they love each other, and they get in a bed, and then they have fun. I think realistically, like, 11. When kids start learning about, like, health and understanding their own body, that's when, like, you can start to kind of... And you know what's crazy? There is an answer. There are people that have devoted their life to being professionals and teaching... Children. Sexual health.
Yeah, I mean sexual health of course, but like having an awkward conversation with your son that walks in on you. I think there's like, God forbid, 11 is probably like when the conversation can happen. Also, be an adult. Lock the door. Yes, yeah, obviously. Right there, you know what I mean? Bro, you ever go to someone's house and they don't have locks on the doors? Like locks on the bathroom? What are we doing?
Yeah, bathroom is crazy. But it's insane. I understand it for people that have children. Because if a kid locks a door... But you need to get the locks that you could open with a butter knife. You know what I'm talking about? First of all, if my kid locks the door...
Easy kick job. Kicking it down without a doubt. I don't think you realize how strong doors are, Joey. Blasting this door. Joey's big fucking thunder thighs over here. What are you kicking with those fucking pencil ankles, Joey? Frank, with the power of a father, like my son could be dying in there. Yeah, but if you kick a door open, you kick a door open and that kid is standing right there and it smacks him in the mouth. By teeth. I go, back up, little Joey!
Oh, you already figured out a name, huh? No, I don't think I'm going to do that. Good for you. Little Joey. I don't think I'm going to call. I don't think I'm going to name my potential son. Also, I was saying this the other day. I'd rather, I hope my first, let me not say hope. Let me not say hope. God, oh God, oh God. But I have seen videos of people like during gender reveals. Some of you husbands out there are a little terrifying, all right? Or not terrifying, idiots. You don't go, oh. Thank you.
EEEH! Oh my god. When you have a daughter or a son or something. Bro, I can't tell you how many fucking gender reveals I've seen where it's like it's a girl and the guy's like, "UGH, FUCK!" Or even like when it's a guy and they're like, "YEAH!" I mean, I guess you could say that they were gonna cheer for whatever it was, but like, that's someone who's clearly like, sees that raising a fucking boy they think is easier because they don't have to worry about the horrors of the world and the way this world treats fucking women. If I had a choice... Here goes Joey. If I had a choice...
I would rather a woman. I would. I'd rather have two daughters than two sons. That seems hectic. I mean, from a just kids are crazy standpoint, boys are nuts. Yeah. All of my nephews are psychos. Yes. And my niece is very, she's a little bit of a psycho now, but. I mean, all kids are kids, but like, for instance, at the age of three, I couldn't sit Miles down and have him play with toys.
He would be up, rolly, jump, jump, beep, bop, bop, bop, and all kids are different. But like at the age of three, I can put little bluey figurines in front of Ruby and she's good for an hour, maybe even more. Crazy. Yeah. But I don't know. I want a girl.
I wish you an abundance of joy and happiness. If I had two boys... That's going to be tough, dude. A part of me is like, ugh. It's going to be hard. Should we do this again? It's going to be hard. But at the same time, the world needs more good men, so you can raise... It would be very interesting to see you raise what you believe a good man is. Wow. That's what it is. Thanks, man. I was going this way. This way? You came up top. I'm like...
Yeah. That's what it is. That's what Becca and I talk about all the time. Becca's like, I will be damned if I don't raise a good man. If I had to... Because men are scary. Let's be honest. I'll be damned. No, it's true. She said it like fucking... Like Nicolas Cage. She was like, I'll be damned. You know, I will be flimble flabbled. No, it's hard...
Actually, a friend of mine, I guess I could say this because he announced publicly, Kojo just announced he's having a daughter. Nice. And him and I had a candid conversation. And it makes you rethink your whole world. But at the same time, raising a boy is just as hard because you know how boys are a piece of shit. I mean, yeah, dude. I think that raising any child is difficult. I just want it because I think that having a little daughter would be cute.
I can't put into words. You know? I can't. I truly love all of my children beyond measure. And people often bring up the whole idea. How would you measure it, though? You can't. Liquid ounces? Fluid ounces? I would say probably meters. Meters. Oh, we're going across the pond now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I measure the love for my children in British terminology. In metric. In the metric system. We are imperial. Or standard, as we have tried to call it.
Standard. Yeah. Normal. Yeah, exactly. We're right. You for doing it. You're stupid. Yeah, it's like us in like Nepal. So weird. Yeah, it is. It's like some other random ass country. Like, I get why we do it. This country is like fucking psychotic, but like a random country in Europe is like, yeah, also miles per hour. Yeah. What? You know? We like you guys. We're going to do it the same way you do. Backwards. I do want to say something. I do want to say something.
Fahrenheit and Celsius. If there's going to be two, right? Let's do easy maths here. Yeah, like plus 10. Instead of like X over 2 times 0.45 or whatever it is. What are we doing? It's like minus. And like I know that we're probably the one. We are the ones. I will say this. I will say this. You know, I know. I know. I know you're going to make fun of me. Just give me just a smidgen. Go ahead. In terms of when I have my tea, I operate in...
grams and Celsius Celsius. Yeah, it's just easier man. It is it's just so much easier cold freeze hundred hot boil Instead of 32 that's pretty cold. So I will freeze right there. We'll freeze right at 32 33 though crazy Also, 212 how cool is it to be like I'm going out today. It's negative 8 like if you say negative 8 here It's like you're gonna die out there like don't go out there but being able to be like yo snake
They'll be like, all right, that's kind of cold. You know, like you can, you can, a light jacket could be okay. It makes no sense for it to be one degree. When you go, when you tell someone from like Canada, like, oh, like what, what is it outside? We're like, oh, it's like 85 degrees outside. They're like, are you okay? Yeah, no, you know, surface of the sun in Canada.
It's fucking crazy. It makes no sense. But also, like, SNL did a really good... Oh my god, I need to do ads. Yeah, okay, alright. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. What have we been talking about? We're a good episode today! Also, sweating here. So, whatever that means... It's a little hot. It's gonna be real hot when we do this next episode we're about to do. Guys, listen. Okay, we do have some sponsors for today. The first one being Squarespace. You want to build a website? You should do it with Squarespace, okay? It is the black...
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Okay, not literally in that amount of time, but in a short amount of time, way shorter than if you were using some other platform, which I have done in the past and it took me months. This you can do it in an afternoon if you dedicate the time to it. All you have to do is pick your template, fill out, you know, change the text and the pictures and stuff like that, and you have a beautiful looking website. It is amazing. So use Squarespace for that. They also have a bunch of tools, you know, to optimize your traffic, know where it's coming from, all these analytics and things like that.
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You're welcome. Also, here we have Babel. It is the best way to learn a new language, and who doesn't want to do that? Okay? Especially, I'm talking to a lot of Americans here, and most of us are not speaking two languages. Okay? We were just talking about the metric system, the imperial system, whatever.
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I mean, I've been using Babbel with Spanish, you know, occasionally over the years, so I like it. But yeah, so with Babbel, though, it'll give you the tips and tools to start being able to learn another language. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you get 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash basement, okay? Get up to 60% off Babbel.
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new website for us, for Basement Boys, where you can get information on merch. You can get information on the Patreon. You can get information on upcoming shows. It's really, really fun. And it's a
It's a cool little website where you can see Joe and I in tuxedos, and we look nice. All right? So if you're coming to any of the Basement Yard Experience shows, by the way, a couple tickets left for the July 27th night, late night at the Tropicana show for my birthday, birthday bash with boys. The birthday bash with the boys. A couple tickets left for that late show. Go check them out at thebasementyard.com. Or if you're coming to any of the shows, you already secured your ticket, no matter if it's –
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Me, you, Joey, we're going to talk a little bit. So go to thebasementyard.com slash submit. Put in what show you're coming to. Submit a questionnaire. It's going to be fun. It's going to be happy, fun times. All right? Thank you, guys. We'll see you at the shows, and we'll talk to you later. Jesus Christ. I'm getting good. I'm getting good. I'm getting good. I'm getting good. I'm getting really good. Can you think I have a future in radio broadcasting one day? This is basically that. All right.
Moving on. Kid has a present. He's asking me for a future. What do you want me to look at? Oh, here he is. Here he is. Here's Mr. Fucking No Jokes Today Joe. No Jokey Joe today. We're going out to a restaurant later. Fully expect to get a, this is not the place for that. Calm down. Settle down. If you start screaming across the table about sex, yes, I am going to say that. I'm going to bring up
Fat, I'm telling you right now, mark my words, tonight at dinner, I'm going to scream fat cock. Okay, I've marked your words. That's going to make you feel like really cool? It is going to make me feel cool. Speaking of restaurants, that's crazy. Actually, no, I don't want to talk about restaurants. I do want to talk about something else, though. What was that? Don't worry about it, bitch. The cicadas are on their way out.
They're coming out their holes. Oh, I thought you meant they were gone already. No, no, no, no, no. They're still here. Have you seen the videos of like thousands of cicadas? No. They are here. I haven't seen one or heard one, so. I sent Joey a TikTok of a guy taking a handful of cicada shells and eating them. I'm shocked. Oh, I didn't watch it. Oh, can I show it to you? No, I don't want to see it. It would like literally just ruin my day. Please. No. All right. Well, there's a new thing coming out now, Joey. Have you heard of the spiders? Spiders?
Don't do this. Have you heard of the spiders? I told you before we were recording, I was like, boy, if you hate bugs, I got something for you. Although spiders are technically not bugs. They are 100% bugs. No, they're arachnids. What's an arachnid? Insects are bugs. Arachnids are their own thing.
No, bugs are both insects and arachnids. Anything that has legs like that is a bug. So there is a spider known as the Joro, J-O-R-O spider. J-O-R-O. That is on its way to New York City, baby. What does that mean, on its way? What are they doing? I don't know, but they're here. They are venomous. Venomous? They are almost as big as your hand. No, I'm not doing this. And here's the kicker. Here's the kicker.
They can fly. Hold on. So show me proof. I mean, I can't show you proof of it flying. I'll show you. What do I have to look up? Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
No. Oh yeah, Joro. Why New York? Why here? Out of all places! Go to Maine! There's more woods and trees! Be spiders, bro! While not accurate flight in the avian sense, Joro spiders utilize a technique known as ballooning, where they release silk threads into the air, which allow them to be carried by the wind.
Nah, bro. You ready? What happens, honestly? Yeah. Walk me through. Joey gets out of- Oh my god, dude, this thing's the size of a tennis ball. Tennis balls, famously, this big. Nah, I'm on Google. And they're venomous, so if they get you- Oh my god, dude. But this could be your introduction to being Spider-Man, dude. Bro. I'm not letting a spider get fucking near me. So, here's a serious question. What if you go outside-
and we need to record, and then you look up and you just see spiders flying. - Yeah, I know that we're joking and stuff, whatever, but legitimately, you know how with the lantern flies, they were everywhere? - Yeah. - If these were like that, no. - Just invest in a cat. - I'm going to invest in locking my door, staying inside-- - A blowtorch. - Until they've decided to leave. - Invest in a blowtorch.
No, these are disgusting bro. Ew, there's a white child holding it in its hand! Let me see, I wanna see this dumb white idiot. Why is he doing that? Those are crazy looking spiders. Does it help that they have like nice colors on their butt? Like green, yellow, blue. This is on someone's face! Let me see. That's a face! That's not a face. That's a nose and that's a- Dude, look at those teeth, bro.
No, bro. And it's venomous. So if it gets you, it might get you for good. I don't think that they're, like, lethal. Look it up. No one calls something venomous unless it could be lethal to someone or something. First of all, this thing says that Joro spiders are native to East Asia.
What are you doing here? They're giving us all their, all their, actually I'm not gonna do this. They're giving us the spotted lanternflies. Those were from there too, right? What were you gonna say? I was gonna say, you know what I was gonna say. I'm not gonna do it. The old 19? Yeah. I ain't gonna do it. Yeah, dude. Spiders though? Chill, bro. Bro, lanternflies, what made them worse is that they were fast. They were fast little bitches. Jumpy fuckers. Dude, I would go to stomp on one and I'd be like, I got it. I look and it's not there.
Dude, this is so disgusting. Why are... This article has a bunch of white people holding them, though. What is that? Because spiders, like all animals, they're friends unless you make them want to not be friends. Bro, I don't want to be friends. I do not want to be friends with a fucking spider. What are you talking about? That would be a pretty cool... What if... What would you rather have in your apartment? No bug. No bug. What would you rather have? Wouldn't you rather have a dozen mosquitoes...
Or one Joro spider. That doesn't mosquitoes, bro. I'm fucking hacking. I don't give a fuck about mosquitoes. I'm going to kill them. But this thing will kill mosquitoes too. You know in the middle of the night when you hear a mosquito in your ear? What do you do? Bang. Okay, but like if you continuously hear it, but you're just like... Honestly, I don't care. It's just a mosquito. Right, yeah. You know what I do?
Lights go on, it's fucking game time. Because I'm not going to sleep until it's dead. I'm serious. I can't, I won't sleep. I will not. You should see me hunting flies. Bro. You should see me, Becca made fun of me the other day because I'm there and I have my fucking, like, my flip-flop in my hand and I'm like, ready? And I'm like, dude, I feel so badass hunting these flies. I look,
I look like such an idiot. I'm like spinning and like fucking swatting at nothing. A big, what I've started to do is instead of trying to hit them, I throw things at them. I miss every time. I don't think I've hit one once. That's a good way to damage the things in your home. I've thrown a slipper, Joey. What the hell am I damaging? I'm not throwing it at fine china. A vase? Vase? You think I'm just letting vases, fucking expensive vases sit out? What are you going to do? Hide them? You put flowers in them. Make them look pretty. And then when there's no flowers in them, you put them away for a little bit. Yeah. How often you got flowers?
Fake ones. Joey. Joey. Oh, yeah. I'm sure this is affecting you so much. I hate fake green. But I wanted to say this the other day because you kind of put this in my head. But I had a sinus infection when I was sick like a couple weeks ago. And my ear... Because I had a sinus infection and then flew back from somewhere. But I... Ton up. Yeah. And that didn't help. And then my ear got a little clogged. But then...
I guess, like, I had to do something. I eventually put hydrogen peroxide in it, and it, like, helped. But my ear, I would wake up in the morning, and it was kind of, like, clogged. And it was like that for, like, five days. And on that fourth and fifth day, I was like, what if there's, like, a bug in it? I've known someone that has happened. I know. And you fucking told me that. And you fucking ruined my life. Because any time that my ear gets a little bit not normal, I'm like, bug. Bug.
Because I could be sleeping and then they just go, and then they chill. Oh, you don't worry. I wouldn't worry about a little crawly. I would rather, you worry about like a fly can go in there. Because then you got the wings flapping in your ear and shit like that. And they're trying to crawl their way out.
I knew someone. I think for those of you guys. I'm going full fucking. Who was that? Michelangelo? Pablo Picasso? Some artist cut his ear off. Galileo? That's a. He's a astronomer. Yeah. I'm going to let you continue to go until you figure out who it was. Do you know it though? I know it for sure. Raphael? No. Is it one of the Ninja Turtles? No. Da Vinci cut off his ear? Nope. It is Da Vinci. But that's also one of the Ninja Turtles. Leonardo. Right.
Come on, you're right there. Can I get a letter? No. I'm running out of artists. It'll give it away. It'll give it away. It was an artist, though. Yes, it was so easy. Who did I say? It wasn't Dali. It was definitely not Salvatore Dali. It's not Picasso, because I've seen a picture of him when he was old, and he had both. Come on, Joey. You're right there. I know.
Who's the one? Starry Night. Oh, Van Gogh. There it is. You got it. Good job. Van Gogh, Van Gogh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guy took his fucking ear off. Why'd he do that? I think he went mad. People say it's because the haters were talking shit and he was just like, watch this.
Still could hear he just now had a bandage over his ear like you know when you cut your ear off You don't like the hole is still there right you know unless it like heals in a weird way Yo cutting your ear off is probably like not that bad come like compared to cutting anything because it's like cartilage and stuff although We said that like it's not as painful dude my ear hurts when people grab that shit No, I could pinch this as hard as I could how many patrons to get you a fucking pierced ear. Oh, oh
I'm not doing that. Come on. No. Why not? Piercing my ear. We'll get you gauges. How many patrons to get you gauges? Gauges. Are you crazy? Yeah. No way. Oh, I think you could do it. No, dude. But how much to cut your ear off? Patrons? I don't know. Would you cut your pinky toe off for an amount of money? Like if someone was legitimately- If you're asking me to name the amount of money? No, no, no. If someone came to you and was like-
Six million cut your pinky toe off six million. Yeah, I will make a spectacle of cutting this thing off Are you kidding me? I'll cut it off right now and I will put salt in the wound I will cut this motherfucker off right now for six million. Why do you have an iPhone? Yeah? Nope. No, why do you have a pocket? I don't think skin Why do you have a snakes and snake? I'm why do you have a knife on you? Move on We're gonna move on. What do you think you're 11 again?
I did have a knife at 11. I know. And I accidentally brought it into Shea Stadium. They didn't care. Oh, I think you told me that. Yeah. I used to carry a... He carried a knife. Wait, did you stab someone? You never knew when you needed it. I always joked around. How many times have you needed a knife? I always joked around and said that I carry a knife and a condom on me because you never know when you need to poke someone.
Yo, and I know I say this often, but legitimately, that is the most Frankie thing ever. Like, him coming up with that and being like, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And if I would just stand and look at you, like, it was the coolest thing anyone's ever said. I had it written down on my phone. For what? We did it years ago. Definitely wrote that on, like, MySpace or Facebook. Probably. Years ago, we had...
An episode where I had found in my notes app, I had found old quotes that I had wrote. People always talk, the one that walked directly through any crowd of men. And that was one of them. Crowd of men. Always carry a knife and a condom on you. You never know when you need to poke someone. You do know, by the way. You definitely know. Anyway, we do have some more...
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Go do it. You're welcome. Joe, I know we've got to get out of here in a little bit. We're wrapping up. But there is one more story that I feel is imperative to bring up because it's something we previously spoke about. Okay. You know how devastating it is that Red Lobster filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Yeah.
I forgot. There was a Patreon episode where someone gifted you a bunch of chips. Yes, yes, yes. Let me just tell the story in front of you. I think it was on Patreon. We did a Patreon episode and Frankie told a story that someone gifted him two boxes of Red Lobster biscuits and then he goes, I ate a box. Yeah.
I want to shout out- There's eight biscuits in a box. He ate eight. I want to shout out my friend, Lindsay and Jesse. That was very, very kind of them. They came to hang out for my wife. Lindsay and Becca are friends. They gifted me two boxes. By the way, they were wrapped. If you're going to give a gift to someone- Wait, with wrapping paper? And a fucking, I believe they put a bow on top, dude. People-
Incredible gift. Yeah. I ate the whole box. The other one is still in my freezer. It ain't gonna be much longer, let me tell you that. Eating a whole box of biscuits is wild work. No, no, no, it's delicious. It is delicious. It's very delicious. It's wild work though. Work for whom? Ooh. You. What do you mean? No, no, no, no. He's sitting there picturing you. I didn't sit him and eat them all at the same time. Like throughout like an hour or two, I had eight. Why is this funny?
Throughout the hour? I thought you were going to say, I was going to say, this is going to ruin the story. But I thought you were going to say, I hate him over the course of a week. You said it in an hour or two. You hate him or two. Still a lot. You're averaging 4 billion.
Four biscuits an hour. That's not... Is that a lot? I don't know. I'm a very hungry boy. That's my issue, is I'm always hungry and I can always eat. So if there's food in front of me, especially these Cheddar Bay biscuits, they're getting dogged, all right? That's so fire. But it was an incredible gift. One of the best gifts I've ever gotten. And let's not be forgotten. My wife gave me children. And I gave you a Rolex. And she gave me a Rolex. And the biscuits are number one. No, I didn't say number one. They're up there. Podium, though. They're...
I'm not saying the podium, but they're getting points in Mario Kart. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. But you know how devastating it is that the...
Mid to fine dining establishment Red Lobster is going under. Nowhere close to fine, but it's fine. Fine for me. Fine for us. Us normal people. Sorry, Joey only goes to places that they serve you lobster on a fucking bed of caviar that is, you know, jerking off onto you or something stupid. Hey caviar, but... I've never had it. Love lobster tail. Honestly, crab over lobster. Said it, and I'll say it to the day I die. First of all, it's not even close. Crab is incredible.
I think I'm becoming an ASMR person. No, these people that take it out and they're like... I saw this girl. That's mukbang. Yeah, but they're not talking. They're just eating. Yeah, she clicks her nails on the lobster leg. That part I could do without. I don't give a fuck about that. But this girl was eating a big ass crab. First of all, the crab looked gigantic. A colossal king crab will get you. She opened up the leg and this thing just fell out. Kind of...
No, no. And yeah, I mean, this is not going to sound good. It was the size of an adult penis. Like, it was. Oh, that's it? Like, an average adult penis? Yeah, someone... Not you, though. Like, someone else? No, but it was just like... I'm just saying, I've had crab that has been like, like what I imagine Idris Elba's working around with. You know what I'm saying? You don't have to fantasize. I'm not fantasizing. I just...
No, I know, but it fell out onto the table, and she's like, oh. And then she has a big goblet. They always have goblets. Of butter. And she's just like this, and I'm like, I know what that tastes like. You know what? Come over. I wish you could come over on a weekday. Just come over on a weekday, please. I'll get crab. Please. I was trying to like, I was sitting there.
You can't eat those biscuits then. Because you gotta keep them. I'll save you biscuits. Thank you. I will. I need two. I need two. I need two biscuits. I think I can save you. You can eat six. I'll eat two. You can eat six. All right? But I came to your house and we ate crab. I know. And we'll do it again. Yeah. But I need a big goblet of butter. You'll get a fucking goblet and a quarter. Let me tell you. What else can we make?
A tail. You want a lobster tail? Yeah, but like covered in shit. How about this? There's like a red sauce that looks like it's dirty. Like there's a lot in it. Paprika, brother. It's just seasoning. Maybe you'll learn. There's like things in it. And I'm like, I don't know what that is, but man, I want to dip it in. How about I make you a lobster mac and cheese? Yeah, now we're talking. Now we're talking. All right. Bake it, bake it, bake it, baked. It's going to be crispy as all hell on top. I'm talking like, you know. Yeah.
Chernobyl crispy. Yeah, well not radioactive, but hopefully but you know yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Tongue still that color which is freaking me out, but it's fine You want me to scrape my tongue on the desk? On the desk? Yeah, it literally- And I'll scrape it with my teeth and spit- It looks like you ate a sunflower. I basically did. Oh the seeds! Yeah, that's what it is. Weird, why are they yellow? Is it yellow? I can't see. Now I gotta- Take a look at it. It's yellow.
Yo, aren't tongues mad weird? I hate tongues, dude. They're weird. I hate tongues. Like, they're like just strange things. I hate tongues. Especially from the side. From the side, you're like, that looks like weird. I don't like it. I hate tongues so much. Yeah. Where did that come from? I don't know. I think it's... Also, I was walking to get coffee this morning, and someone next to me goes... There was a couple, like, stopped, and they were staring at something. And then he goes, did you know that a...
A blue whale's tongue weighs more than some other animal. And I was like, it's 8 a.m. Why? I would have hit that man to send him a fucking message. I would have hit him as hard as I could. Where was I recently? I don't care. I was actually going to tell you more about Red Lobster. If you can entertain me for the two minutes we have left of this episode, you know? Is that okay? Yeah. Where was I recently? I don't care. Flavor Flav. Get the story out. Flavor Flav.
Flavor Flav. Flavor Flav. Yes. He's making it his mission to save Red Lobster. He's going and he's buying everything on the menu. I love him. Flavor Flav? Flavor Flav. Is going to Red Lobster and being like, give me it. Everything. You can't save a company like that. Yeah, you can.
If they're starting to get record-breaking numbers because people like us, you know, me, Flavor Flav, you, we go and we single-handedly try to... Me? Get in on this. Joey, you have a really, really good opportunity... I've been to one Red Lobster in my life. And you have a really good opportunity to get in and revitalize casual fine dining for... Frank. For blue-collar workers. I'll tell you what. You go to a Red Lobster near you.
and order the menu, how much do you think that possibly could be? I'll split it with you. It'll probably be like a thousand bucks. I'll split it with you. But you go and order the whole fucking menu and sit there. Red Lobster. No, don't try to get it for free. I'm not trying to get it for free. Because they're hurting. Yeah. They're hurting right now. For a squirt. Well, no, they aren't hurting for squirties. They're hurting for, you know, cheddar. Yeah.
You have a really unique opportunity right now. The big basement yard brand battle for the brands has been, you know, Taylor Swift dropped out. We hate to break bad news to everybody. She's on tour. She's busy. She's on tour. She's a little busy. Yeah. But Red Lobster, you have an opportunity to do something really iconic right now. Partner with us. The basement yard ex-Red Lobster. The Lobster Yard. What is the plan? Because all you're talking about is like... We might be able to help bring you guys back. How? How?
We can make it so, like, people go, you know? Frankie hasn't thought about this at all. I'm not an ideas guy. Yeah, right. I'm figuring this out as we go. I'm letting this happen, but... I should ask Greg. Greg's an ideas guy, because Greg will be like, so what we do is we'll... Is there cheddar in these biscuits? Yeah, there's no cheddar or butter. I wonder where he feels about butter. Where does he stand on butter? I think he likes butter. I mean, he goes... I don't know. We'll have to ask him.
We'll figure it out. We just need a thumbs up or thumbs down on butter. Definitely going to get some butter tonight. Oh, we're buttering it up. Yeah. We got to get out of here. We also got to get a lobster mac and cheese. If they have lobster mac and cheese, order 10. Let's go. Let's go. Baby, I'm so excited. No one's ordering 10 mac and cheeses. Don't get excited, all right? Listen, Red Lobster, the floor is yours. We know you're struggling right now. Good opportunity. Talk to your marketing team, your brand partnership team. The basement boys want to help.
How we'll help, we don't know. But Frank has to go into your store and he has to order the entire menu. Will you come with me? No. No.
I just want to see the photo of you with the entire menu of Red Lobster there. I have to go with people, though. It's a big tip, too. I need to go with a bunch of people, though, because we all need to work on some of the food. Right. I can't go by myself. How many people do you think you need? What am I saying? I don't know. That's a good idea for a foodie YouTube channel. Every single place you walk into, order the menu. No, don't do that because it's a waste of food. Unless you're going to be donating something. No, like with a bunch of people. I need it.
Can't leave until you finish. Who wants to go? Raise your hand. There's just me and you in here. Order the whole menu. Every cocktail also. No, no, no. Do they have cocktails? Of course they do. They're casual fine dining, Joey. Of course they have it. You haven't heard of some of these incredible red lobster drinks, dude? Wait, are you being...
Are they known for cocktails at this place? Red Lobster does have incredible drinks. Are you ready for this? Dude, I haven't been there since I was literally seven. They do have, obviously, they have some signature cocktails. Their Old Fashioned is a classic one. Their Mango Mai Tai. Ooh. Malibu Hurricane. That one sounds slutty. Triple Berry Sangria. That sounds great. Mojito. Classic. Tiki Passion Punch.
Love that. Anything with passion in it. Long Island iced tea. That is trash. A shrimp Caesar. That I would like to... A shrimp Caesar? Yeah. I would just order that to throw it in the toilet. You wouldn't get this. It's Mox Clamato.
Mixed with Smirnoff vodka and cocktail shrimp garnished with lime wedge and pickled beans. Yeah, that's like a Bloody Mary. That sounds not like a Bloody Mary. That sounds like a Bloody Caesar. Yeah. Lobster Caesar, classic margarita. They can also do strawberry, raspberry, peach. Strawberry margarita? Frozen favorites, Bahama Mama.
Blowing it up. Sunset Passion Colada. It's got passion in it. I'm in it. Piña Colada. Duh. A lot of colada. What is that? One large frozen piña colada served with a Captain Morgan original spiced rum sidecar. Go big or go home. Fire. Strawberry daiquiri. Yeah. Berry mango daiquiri. And then they got some wines. I mean, after you have a fucking colada, you can't go wine.
You got to just fucking colada it up, dude. Oh, man. Going to fucking little diabetic shock at the fucking table. Oh, you can order online. You're going to order Red Lobster online? If I get it delivered here, are you eating it? No. Something tells me Red Lobster won't travel well. Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway. What do you guys think? Hey, thank you for coming by. You can check us out at the basement yard on all forms of social media. Check me out. Frank Alvarez on FAlvarez85 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on all the forms of social media. That over there, that's my co-host Joe Santagato. Hey. At Joe Santagato on all forms of social media. Thank you so much to everyone that's coming out. There's still tickets available to the late night, July 27th at the Tropicana Basement Yard Experience Show. It's my birthday batch. Gonna be crazy. You can check those out and other shows and other information at thebasementyard.com. Submit.
Your questionnaire at thebasementyard.com slash submit. Joey, I really appreciate you being here with me today. Thank you. I don't know. All right. See you guys next time. Good night and good night. That was the tagline that you went with? Good night and good night. Travel. We're going to try it out. That's it. See you later. See if it hits.