#452 - Put Us On The Food Network
01:04:48 Share

Welcome back to the base- Welcome back! Sorry. I was doing the- Welcome back to the basement yard. Uh, that's all. Welcome back to the basement yard. Thank you. Why'd you clap like that? I clapped for Josh to line up the audio. It's an industry move, Joey. I'm becoming big podcast boy. I know. First of all, that's like not just podcasting, it's anything with audio. But you remember you had the opportunity to actually use the slate and you bitched out.

I was a little afraid. We were on the set for the DoorDash shoot, and the girl who was the director was like, oh, and he goes, oh, is that the thing? And she's like, yep, do you want to do it? And he's like, no. Yeah, I mean... I was like, you bitch! It's just, you know, when you... It's like, what's the...

Close your hands for God's sake. Sorry, I'm freaking out. You're holding the world. It's like the idea of what the Joker said in A Dark Knight. It's like a dog chases a car and then when it catches it, it doesn't know what to do with it. Same concept here. Me and the Joker. No, that was... You guys are docking? No, no, no. Wild that people might actually do that. But... Well, I mean, they have to. There's a term. There's like a coined term, docking. I wouldn't... I mean, I'm not gay, so I wouldn't get...

I don't know that this would ever make any money. That's what I'm saying. Like, who does that work for? Yeah, I don't know. That's weird. But as I was going to say, I just, you know, like I crumbled in a little bit of pressure. I did a podcast, uh, Stash Club Wrestling. Cool dudes. I did their podcast and afterward they were like, Hey, um, do you want to like review the episode? And like trying to be like professional. I was just like, Oh no, I don't care. Yeah. You know, but, uh,

Yeah. What the fuck does that have to do with the slate? I was just saying, like, I want to help be professional here. Oh, wow, wow, wow. You know, also, we didn't plan this. Green boys? I'm olive green because I love olives. You're mint green because you had mint in your drink. Mint in my drink? Yeah, remember we went to the restaurant together and you had mint in your drink and I took it and ate it?

They put a fucking bushel of mint in this drink. Yeah, you were eating it like a fucking... It's delicious. You don't eat mint? Brachiosaurus. What's those things called? Brachiosaurus. Brachiosaurus. Brachiosaurus. I know it was a bee. There is a bee in there. Brachiosaurus honestly might be a dinosaur. I can't believe you bitched out of the slate though. That's very disappointing. I will get another opportunity in my life hopefully. Yeah. I mean, we could get one in here. I'm going to slam... She had a good one though. It was like,

metal. Yeah, it was metal and also it kind of had some like wear and tear on it. Yeah. Which you don't want like a new clean looking one. Yeah, you got to beat it up. You want one that looks like, you know, you want one that looks like it's been to Vietnam and came back different. Probably a different war, but yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No? Would you say that? No. Anyway, I had an interesting night last night. Stumbled accidentally into a gay bar. Oh, hold on. Time, time, time, time, time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead. First of all... Because I knew this was going to happen. Go ahead. You're not beating the galligations here. I'm definitely not. And I also was thinking while I was in there, I was like, if anybody in here recognizes me, there's no way I'm beating the gay allegations. Oh, my God. First of all, yeah, you've lost...

The gay allegations. Like, you're losing the battle. Like, you're not winning the war. Because as soon as I say, like, no, I'm straight, it's like, well, that's gay. That's what gay people say. Yeah, exactly. You know. DL. Exactly. DL. Is that a term for you guys? Down low, Frank. Come on. I don't know. See, you even know the terms.

Did I tell you one time I was out to dinner and I think it was for Ahmed's birthday and the waiter at the end of the night when we were leaving, he was like, he's like, I just want to let you know, like, I know he was like a gay guy and he's like, I just want to like, how do you know all those like terms? And I was like, he called me off guard and I was like, he called you out. I was like, I don't know. I just got gay friends or whatever. I don't know. Do you have gay friends? I mean, I just, you know, most of it came from Pat from Barstool.

Oh, gotcha. Yeah, that makes sense. He went through his grinder and they categorize it by legitimate body types. It's like you can search for otters or jock and... Scruff, twinks. Scruff? I don't know. I imagine that would be one. Bear. I know bears are one. Yeah. Those are hairy, bigger dudes. Yeah. I have friends that are gay and...

The way you said that. Sorry. But anyway. There's no disdain behind the way I said it. I know. But hold on. So. Yeah. Stumbled in. Stumbled in. I was. I went to a. The name didn't give the place away. No. Because sometimes these gay bars. Yeah. Have names where it's just like. Okay. Sometimes they don't. They're a little kind of ambiguous. Well. It wasn't called gay bar. Come on in. Well. It wasn't called that. I'm sure there are some where it's called like. You know. Buckle me down. No. Buckle.

No? No. It was, there was one actually one time we were like looking, this was way back in the day. We were looking for a bar to watch, like in the city to watch a sports something. So we're like sports bars in the city. Okay. And there was one called Boxers. And we're like, oh, what about this one? And then you look into it. You're thinking Boxers like fucking like this. Yeah. But it is a sports bar, but it's a gay sports bar. The sport is fucking tonsil hockey with cock and balls. No.

No, but I think it was called Boxers because I think someone said like the bartenders are just like in their boxers or something. But there was one time I was at a bar next door to that. That's not fair. You can't be a sports bar. Boxers. Yeah, if I name a sports bar Ping Pong Balls and it's like, oh, it's a ping pong themed bar, but it's just

That place is... Shaved white balls. Bro, that place was jumping, by the way. Yeah. Because there was a bar next door to that that I was at one time. And I was like, oh, shit, boxers. Like, remember that story? Blah, blah, blah. There was people like... Like, it was packed. Anyway. So yesterday, I ended up at this place. The name... Well, you didn't... I was going to say, what was the name? Because that should have given it away. Just so people know, the way I ended up at this place, which...

Not gonna lie. I don't feel uncomfortable going to gay bars, but I feel like they don't want me in here You know what i'm saying? No, they do want you in there No, you know, but they don't want me but they don't want you in there as like a sleeper cell They don't want you in there as like undercover. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I you know, whatever but I I was at uh a broadway play and then I was just looking for food So I went there was a bar around the corner. So I was like, all right, we'll go here and

I walked in because I'm like, I'm thinking it's a divey bar.

Right? Because it looked like that in the pictures. Yeah. And then when we're walking up, I can hear a lot of music. And there's like, not a crystal ball, like a disco ball sort of, but like lights. Yeah. You have to slow down this story because I have so many questions. Go ahead. So just to be clear, you went to a Broadway show and then stumbled into a gay bar. Okay. One. Two. That had a visible...

Disco ball. It was invisible. I mean, I did see the lights. What was the music that was playing? I don't know. Was it Ricky Martin? No, no, no. It was like a... Beyonce. No, it was like an EDM version of some popular song that I don't remember, but... Okay. Yeah. Go on. Continue. Yo, actually, when I was at that place, they played this techno remix of Fortnite by Taylor Swift, and the shit was crazy. I took out Shazam, but I didn't find it. Fortnite? Yeah. It's off our new album. Oh, okay.

But it's like her and Post Malone, but there was like an EDM version. I'm like, yo, this shit. Okay. Again, you're burying the lead here because I have a feeling it's going to be kind of self-incriminating. No, no, no. What was the name of the place? So that's the thing, right? When I looked at the name, I'm like, this is whatever. I wasn't even thinking gay bar at all. Then when you get in, you're like, oh, this is a gay bar. Then you're like, oh, the place that it was called the Dickens. Isn't that funny?

I was like, oh, I'm thinking Charles Dickens. I'm like, there might be a lot of books in here. But it was like Dickens. Like Dickens. But see, you're... Dickens butts. You know what I mean? Dickens. Dickens. Dickens faces. Faces and butts. That was wishful thinking on your end because Charles Dickens...

Bro, I don't know. You think there's a bar named after Charles Dickens? There's a bar for everything in this city. But then also, if there was, you think it would have a disco ball and be playing fucking EDM? It was too late. It was too late. I was already inside. You were already a little drunk at this point. No, I wasn't. You were sober. I was. Dude. Sober thoughts. I had one. I had a beer at the play.

I know you though, in your old age now, you've gotten to be a little bit of a lightweight with your alcohol intake. No, I got in and I was like, oh, this is... And then I noticed there was just only dudes sitting at the bar and I was like, oh, this is a gay bar. And then I was like, okay. Okay, now I have follow-up questions. Yeah, I know. You stayed for a couple drinks because you're not a hater. You're just gonna be like, all right, I'm here. It's good vibes. The drink menu is what I talked to you about because they had...

- Names. - Okay, give me what the drink actually is. - Before I say anything. - The standard name. - Before I say anything, before I say anything. - What was the theme?

These questions mean nothing. What are you talking about? I mean, I'm wondering if it's called Dickens and it's like a great expectations. They have a drink called Miss Havisham. Like, walk me. I don't even know what those words meant. Whatever you just said meant zero to me. There was no theme. It's just a bar. Okay. So I walk in, right? And then I'm like, by the way, sorry, this is what I wanted to say. You remember a few episodes ago when I said the gayer a drink is, the better it is. Way better. The drinks at this place were phenomenal. Of course.

Let me go to the next. Of course. So I'm looking at... By the way, you didn't need to tell me that. I would have assumed that they were the best drinks you've had in a while. Crazy. So they had a drink called Drag on Top. Got it. Hold on. Yeah. So obviously they pour something on top of this drink. Not everything's a riddle. Maybe just let me talk and you're like, got it. Wait. I'll tell you the fucking ingredients, you dick. Okay. Okay.

Drag on top. It has dragon fruit syrup. Where do you see that? Nowhere, bro. Love it, love it, love it, love it, love it. Lemongrass gin. I don't even remember. I love gin and I love lemon and grass I'm okay with. And there was lemon and then some other shit in there. I think egg white, but it was a cooler drink. I didn't get that one. Egg white? They have one called Blowing Bubbles. Whose bubbles? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. But then they had one. It comes in like a tiki cup. Wait, what was in Blowing Bubbles?

Tequila, orange liqueur, and like... I don't know. I can almost guarantee that's what Joey got. No, I didn't get that. Okay. Then they... I said almost guarantee. Let's make that clear. I got this one because I thought it was the funniest. It comes in a tiki cup. Love that. And it has like a dude's... Not a dude's face, but like that. That's not a dude's face. That's... What's the shit called? What's that shit called? Oh, um...

Man, it's escaping me. Not a talisman. Bro, the fact that you pulled out talisman is insane. But what's the thing? I know what you're referencing. It's like they're stacked. Yeah. And they always spin in video games and stuff. What? Stacked tiki pole. Tiki totem. Tiki totem. Yeah, so it looks like a tiki totem. Okay. And there's red banana rum. Oh. And then like a bunch of other stuff.

It's called a rum job. Yeah. Okay. That's really... So I was like, I gotta get the rum job. Yeah, okay. Obviously, get the gayest sounding one in here. You were not... It was incredible, too. Oh, dude, that sounds unbelievable. And then I got another one. I forgot what it was called. I think it was called, like, Montero or something, which is Lil Nas X's name. That's right. That I knew. And that had mezcal in it, and that shit was fire. Now I have to look up, like, gay cocktails because... Why? Why?

I don't know. Nah, but it was a good time. It was a good place. Also, I will say this. Went to the bathroom in that place. A dude walked in, went to the stall, took a piss, didn't wash his hands, just walked out right by me. What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? It's a bar, babe. Oh, maybe he just like went like this. Dude, you gotta wash your hands if you're gonna piss, right? In a bar? In a bar, yes. I mean, you know. We're not in your apartment.

We're remembering pre-COVID bars, though. You have to put yourself in a different mind state. You know, that was... People didn't do that. Wash their hands? I'm sure there were times you went into a bar pissed and just walked out. Joey. I wash my hands in every single bar. At home? Different story. You're going to tell me every time you've ever been into a bar...

And Pete, you've washed your hands every time. Yes. Mostly because of there's people in here. I don't want anyone to be like, I want to see you, which is what I did to that guy. He walked out and I was like, bro, you got pee pee, pee pee bar hands. You know what I mean? I mean,

like PB Bar hands, you know? Whom? Maybe he needed better grip. On what? That is something I won't be able to answer. You probably, if you looked around, you might have been able to get the answer. Yeah, no. Honestly, that place played bangers, by the way. Of course, dude. Of course. I mean, the only gay bars that I've been to were in New Haven and they were gay. Like, they were like,

Oh, no, that's not true. Key West. Key West. Key West was gay, I mean. That was in a... The guys had their dicks out. And like, people... It was our gay friend's bachelor party. You think people think like, oh, they had their dicks out, like they're walking around in Speedos? No, their dicks are out. No, no, no, no. The bartender had his cock out. Like, out. Not concealed. Asshole. Also out. Like, just...

You know, like when you're standing in a shower, how naked you are? Just like that. Just not wet at a bar. As far as I know. Completely dry, naked man serving me Miller Lights. Literally. Literally. He's like, let me get a... What do you got? And he was... And I told this... We've told this story on a previous episode. But for those of you who don't know this, like one of our friends is gay. He had a bachelor party. And we're like, oh, we're going to go to Key West. So let's go. And we found this bar. And then in the back, there was a door that said boys only. I was like...

That's where we gotta go. We gotta go to that. The front part of the bar was gay. Yeah, it was a gay bar. It was like a dive bar. But the back part, it was like a backyard with a pool, a stage. A stage, that's right. A lot of sand. Yeah. They had giant stilettos. Do you remember they had like stiletto seats? There was a... And we were at the bar and the bartender's

the other way serving people because it was just like a square bar so you can go all around it. So he's serving the other way and his ass is out and he has like, it looks like a jock strap on. So I was like, okay, ass out. But then he turned around and I'm like, dick out too. It was just a... It was a belt. He was wearing just a belt. It wasn't holding up any pants or anything. It was just wearing a belt. It couldn't have been holding up, physically couldn't have been holding up less. Yeah. It was crazy. And then he turned around and he was still a bartender so he was like, what do you want?

I was like, yeah, like a very, like, just like casual, like, what do you want? Miller? Uh, we have Miller light. I was like, can I get eight Miller lights? He's like, yeah, I got you. Yeah. I was like, it was pretty nuts. It was pretty nuts. Uh, not, not pretty nuts. Hold on.

Yeah. But, oh, well, good for you. Now, are you going to be like accidentally stumbling into any other gay bars? No, but if I do, I'm going right to the cocktail list because they were phenomenal. Duh, dude. Duh. Yeah, it was great. Well, good for you. And also, yo, I'm not kidding. The music in there was fire. Like, they were remixing popular songs, but I've never heard... I'm on Shazam and the Shazam's like, yo, I don't know what the fuck this is. So there's some fucking hidden...

You know, DJ going up and putting these songs on that are brand new or some shit. Yeah, I'm trying to think if I've ever listened... I guess at the gay bars that I've been to. But, like, I imagine a gay DJ just has the fucking bangers. I don't know if it was a DJ or just, like, a playlist or something, but... Either way, I mean... Also had a grilled chicken sandwich. It was pretty good. Cover it all... Cover it all bases here. You're getting a drink, you're getting food, and you're getting...

Gave it a full review. You were also getting probably eye fucked, dude. No, no. You walked in and like, you were like, relax. I'm just saying, you know, like people go to gay bars, people go to bars to meet people. They're fucking talking to each other. No one's like, oh, look at this guy. Joey, you're being modest here. I'm not being modest. You're being modest here. Maybe people looked at you and you're like, oh, maybe he's coming to like, you know, try something different. You know, the, you know, maybe, maybe bat from the left side of the plate.

I see what you're saying. A new euphemism, baby. No, that's not what happened at all. But had a good time, had a good few cocktails. Good for you. Good for you. Did you happen to... This is a weird segue because I have no other way to segue into it. Did you happen to see the Tom Brady roast? Going from one... Segue. From a gay bar to maybe... Maybe Tom is hanging out at gay bars. You never know. It could be. I feel like we would know. Would we? I think TMZ would know. Would they...

Bro, I watched enough of the morning show to know that people could pay to get things buried, okay? Never watched an episode of that. Is it good? You should watch it. Yeah, it's a pretty good show. Okay. I like it. Did you watch it? I watched some of it. Oh.

It was a mess, dude. Also, it was eight hours long? What was that? Yeah, it was mad long, first of all. Second of all, Netflix is clearly just throwing every fucking penny that they have to just make the most... Because people watched it. It was like an insane turnout. I forgot what the exact number was, but it was a live roast. Dude, they did it in a stadium. Dude. Well, first of all, they had the biggest names there in comedy. I'm sure there are bigger names that weren't there, but like...

You had fucking... Like, Tom and Bert were there. Pretty big names in comedy. Kevin Hart is a fucking megastar. Kevin Hart, like, usually hosts them, I think. I don't know if he usually... He's done a couple. Yeah. But I can't say, like, usually. But, like, the last roast they did was of the Jonas Brothers. They did that? Yeah. You don't remember that? No. Yeah, it was... I thought it was weird that, like...

These people don't even know Tom Brady. Dude. And they're roasting him. Like, that's mad. And they're also being like, your wife's getting drilled right now. And he's just like, ha, ha, ha. Dude, you could tell. First of all, he came out in an interview and full on said he regrets doing it. Bro, you could tell with him sitting there. This guy just got fucking torched. Because like... He got torn up. And...

I mean, there were some jokes about Tom Brady cheating and stuff like that. Randy Moss' whole set, which wasn't very good, but basically was just about, why didn't you cheat when I was there? We didn't win, and then I left, and we could have cheated well. Yeah. But...

85% of it was not good. Yeah. I couldn't really watch a lot of it. For those of you guys that didn't watch it, Tom Brady went through a very public and open divorce with Gisele Bundchen. Bundchen. And basically, it was not like said, but the story is like,

She was like, listen, I've taken over duties of being a parent while you played football. Like, stop, retire. Yeah. And we can have our life together. And he said, no, I'm going to go back. Went back for one more year. They didn't do well. Won like seven games. Yeah, they went seven to nine, I think was their actual record. And she left them as a result. Yeah.

And then everyone got up there and was just like, your wife's getting drilled by a fucking jujitsu teacher or whatever the fuck. Also, it's one thing if you're a comedian or an actor in a comedic space. Remember it was the roast of James Franco and then all his friends are like, Alec Baldwin, you know? Yeah.

At least there, there's that. But it's like, you're just Tom Brady who plays sports and shit. Not necessarily a funny dude or anything. And then you have these people who you don't know who are comedians just tearing you apart. I would be uncomfortable too. I would rather people who know me make fun of me. Well, I mean, they had some people there that knew him. They had Gronk. Julian Edelman was there. Some people. But bro, if you are not...

thick skinned to be in that setting to begin with do not ask people like fucking Jeff Ross bro Nikki Glaser yeah cook this guy and like it was it was uncomfortable to watch it was uncomfortable to watch like you you can't you can't put yourself in that setting and not expect like what realistically

What would he... Like, what was he thinking? Thinking that those weren't gonna be jokes? They probably just dropped a bag on his head and that's why he said yes to it. But, like, he was probably like, oh, people will be nice and there's not much to make fun of me for. But then you go through this divorce and whatever and it's like, you don't have much to, like, make fun of Tom Brady for. So when you have this...

It's like, of course people are going to talk about your wife. And I'm surprised no one was like, yo, you kiss your kids on the mouth. Yeah. Well, I'm sure like kids are like off limits. Oh yeah. That makes sense. That's what I would assume. Yeah. But I mean. Or he kisses his dad on the mouth too. Yeah. That would have been, that would have been my first joke. Yeah. I'd be like, do you make out with your dad after this? It's like your wife left you. So who do you kiss now? Your dad? You know, that would have been my first joke. Yeah. But.

I just... I don't understand how... Like, who thought that was a good idea? I mean, it was a good idea from a business standpoint. Like, a lot... Everyone's still talking about it, and it was a week and a half ago. But, like, he also just got, like, undressed. Bro, publicly. And then, like, it made it worse that it was live because they couldn't edit out... Yeah, any of the shit. Any of it. Also, like...

Kim Kardashian was there. Yeah. Tony Hinchcliffe just went and just fucking eviscerated every person out there. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, no, I don't know. Would you ever really truly open yourself to something like that? Hell no. And I would be uncomfortable to even be... Like, some of the jokes that are made, like, I'm not even brave enough to say that. To tell them? Yeah, because, like, it's too...

Like someone's marriage is fucked up. And like it just happened. It's not like 10 years ago. Like, you know? I think the thing that... I forgot who. I think it was Jeff Ross. One of the people that were there, they had said like, it's easy when you know someone to tell these jokes because they come up from a place of like joyful, playful banter. But like those jokes, since you don't know Tom Brady, just come from a place of just like

malevolence. But also, you know how to make fun of people that you know. You know certain things that really bother them, you know, whatever. But if you don't know them, you just have to pull from random shit that you know on the internet or whatever the fuck. This is gonna only go bad. Yeah. And... He probably didn't expect that at all. Well, I think there have been people that came out afterward that were just like, he was not happy. Like, afterward, he was very uncomfortable because...

Like, no matter what... And it's also, he's out of his element. Like, Tom Brady is Tom Brady because of who he is in sports. Like, yeah, if you fuck with Tom Brady on the football field, he'll come back and throw for fucking 550 yards and six TDs. But, like, if you make fun of Tom Brady, he's not the Tom Brady of roasts. You know what I mean? Like, he can't... Like, how does he, like, then go back? Ugh, I just... I can't even imagine roasts. Like, him coming off of that stage and being like, fuck that, would have been like...

Yeah, it's not. It makes me scared. I don't want to look. Oh, you're like secondhand embarrassment is what they call it, right? Yeah, I would be like, oh my God, get him off the stage. Let's end this right now. And then when he told Jeff Ross not to make jokes about Robert Kraft. Right. I thought he was kidding. Apparently not. Apparently he was very not kidding.

Don't say that shit again. Jeff Ross was like, all right. Also, Jeff Ross has been doing this for probably 25, 30 years. I think that maybe he thought people would be like, oh, you know, your wife left you because, you know. You're a metrosexual or something. Yeah, but I don't. Tony Hinchcliffe said, Tom Brady, why do you look like the gay version of Tom Brady?

But he's like, nice boots. Wait till you get them in the divorce. Yeah, yeah. But like, I don't think that he expected people to be like, your wife's getting fucked right now. Like, that's crazy to say. The one that I heard that was wild. And it's crazy because like, I guess you forget, you see Kevin Hart as like,

Funny, playful with The Rock in movies, Kevin Hart. You forget that he was a popular stand-up comic before he got into his movie roles. I don't think anyone's forgetting that. I mean, honestly, I do. Like, you forget kind of like where they come from. Like, you forget...

Like, one of the reasons I think, like, this might not work for you, but, like, one of the reasons that, like, I think the rock and the storyline he had in wrestling with, like, Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes hit so well is because people forgot, like, oh, it's the fucking rock. Like, he built his name off of being an incredible wrestler. But, like, bro, for, like, Kevin Hart to come out and say, like, fuck you, Tom Brady. Like, your wife is out there getting fucking dog walked. Did he say that?

He said fuck you Tom Brady several times And he definitely made Well yeah that's fine I mean it's like whatever Nikki Glaser had the line of the night Yeah Or where she said It's fucked up Do I repeat it? Yeah yeah Yeah alright who cares I'm not Tom Brady You're not watching this He said She's like how does it feel that

Your wife is... You can't even... Like, the guy that's fucking your wife could beat your ass while he's eating hers. Yeah. Insane, dude. I'd be like, well, you know, why don't you just step on my head while I'm drowning? Yeah. Anyway, we do have some ads for today. Oh, well, okay. Is this a good segue? I don't think so. Wait. Yeah, I'm gonna wait. Anyway, uh...

we have squarespace squarespace is a platform where you can build your websites okay so if you have a website uh i mean if you have a product that you know you want to show off or you have some content you want to show off or e-commerce business of course you're going to need a great looking website that is your first impression people are going to go to your website if it doesn't look legit then it's like oh i don't really trust this so you need a good looking website and squarespace is going to help you do that because they have lovely templates

You click on them. All you have to do is switch out a few pictures and texts and you got a lovely looking website. There's been a bunch of people that have sent me their websites and they all look great. It's easy to do. You can definitely go on and check them all out. There's tons to choose from. So, you know, it's great for that. And also they have a bunch of tools to help you optimize your traffic, let you know where things are coming from, how to, you know, garner more attention for your website. But yeah, so it's a great way to, you know, start your e-commerce business.

But yeah, you can go to squarespace.com slash basement and you can save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain using that code basement. So go to Squarespace, check it out. You know, our website is powered by Squarespace. So go to squarespace.com slash basement. And when you're making that first purchase of a website or a domain, use that code basement, you'll save 10% off. Okay. This is the only platform you should be using if you're going to be building websites.

do it with Squarespace. So squarespace.com slash basement, save that 10% when you use that code basement. Okay, folks. Um, and we also have stamps.com stance.com is going to bring all the amazing, uh, services of the post office right to your fingertips. Um, you're saving time because you don't have to drive to the store, then wait in a line possibly, and you know, be bringing boxes or whatever. Uh, you can buy in print official us postage right, uh,

at home. So if you want to do it at 3:00 AM, you could do it, whatever you want. Uh, and Squarespace, uh, it helps a bunch of different organizations and businesses, um, because you save time, not only time, but you save money as well. There's exclusive savings that you can only do through the website. So, uh, not only saving time, but you're also saving some money. Um,

Rates that you can't find anywhere else, like 89% off USPS and UPS rates. Insane. So yeah, you can sign up with the promo code basement for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts or anything like that. But if you are doing a lot of shipping, if you have a business, or if you're just someone who ships a lot,

um definitely use squarespace i mean sorry definitely use stamps.com go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and enter the code basement okay that is stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the page and enter the code basement and you'll get that four week trial free postage and a free digital scale okay

Get it. Stamps.com. But yeah, patreon.com. That's what I got to say. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Folks, hey, it's Frank. Frank Alvarez, the guy that has been speaking to you about general nonsense for quite a while now. Not long enough, some people may say, but you know, here we are. I'm here to tell you about patreon.com slash the basement yard, which is our account page, you know, where we give you guys more of us, a little bit of us, a little sooner, and then, you know, a lot of bit of funny laughs, ha-has, he-he's, giggly time, good time.

So go check it out at patreon.com slash ThePagePreneur. We thank you guys for getting us consistently breaking records. Joey and I talk about this often. We don't understand it. We are so appreciative of it, and we can't thank you guys as individuals. So here, a blanket thank you. Blow.

Blank blank. Thank you. Well, thank you so Better than the blanket that your people had made that time stop So I am here to tell you about it If you sign up for that first year you get these weekly episodes one week in advance and then that second tier Well, that's where you can get exclusive episodes every Friday morning Friday 7:00 a.m. Monday 7:00 a.m The boys are that we're here for

for you at the beginning and end of every week. Who wants to start the week without us? Nobody. Who wants to end the week without us? Nobody. So go check it out, patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. And listen up, folks. Listen, if you, for some reason, the P, the A, the T don't work on your keyboard, you can go to thebasemanyard.com.

But the T is in that and the A is in that too. So what am I saying? If just the P button doesn't work, go to TheBasementYard.com and you'll find more information on us, okay? You'll find info on merch. You'll find info on live shows. All that fun stuff is gonna be right there at our new, sweet, sparkling, clean website, okay? So if you're coming to any of the shows,

Go to thebasementyard.com slash submit. Input which show you're coming to and answer the questionnaire. We like these shows. We have a little bit of twists and turns and bips and bops, and we want to make the shows interactive so you guys feel like it's an experience that you get only at the show. So if you submit that questionnaire, we'll be able to use those answers. Maybe we'll talk to you. If you want to be kept anonymous, sure, we can just talk about the

thing. We could call you up, but you never know. So go to thebasemanyard.com slash submit. Submit that questionnaire. We'll see you at the Basemanyard Experience shows. We are so fucking excited. We hope that you're so fucking excited. And keep your little ears peeled because there might be an announcement of something else. You don't keep your ears peeled. You keep your eyes peeled and your ears open. What do you mean peeled, though? Do you ever understood that one? Keep your eyes peeled? I don't know.

But, like, peel... Yeah, I don't know. Does peeling something make it, like, better at seeing? I don't know. I haven't really thought about that. That makes sense, right? Keep your eyes peeled. Keep your eyes peeled. Peeled what? Peeled open? Yeah, but... Oh, yeah, peel them open. But, like, you're not peeling them open. Keep them open. But, like, you have to peel your eyelids back. No, you don't. Why do you just close them? Because I'm doing the action and trying to see, like, what that's like. What are you doing? What are you doing? Try it again.

What am I doing? Oh, you want me to... Oh, we're doing a bit now. Ask me again. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. What do you want me to ask you? Let me get sad again. Okay. And then ask me again, what are you doing? Okay, go. Wait. I'm not sad yet. You should keep laughing. Come on. I got to think of something. Stop laughing. I got to think of something sad. Did you think of... No, see, you laughed. So I became not sad. Because you... Look at what you're doing. Give me a chance to be sad. When you get sad... By the way...

No one's a bigger Creed fan than you. I've just come up with a conclusion. Yeah. You can't stop singing it. It's so good. All four songs of theirs that I know and really like. Higher, With Arms Wide Open. What's the other? Hold Me Now. Higher. From the Edge and I'm Thinking, My Sacrifice. Yeah. What's that song called again? What? Six Feet From.

I'll tell you, if you give me 30 seconds. Frankie, put it down. I'm not going to play it. I promise. I don't care. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. But why? What do you mean you don't care? You asked the question. You love picking up your phone and searching at the worst times. Like things that are so irrelevant. Like, let me figure it out. One last breath. See how quick that was? Who cares? So I'm going to be sad again. Okay. Okay. Just help me here. Okay. Okay. What's wrong? I don't. Come on. Tell me what's wrong. You won't care. You're probably right, but I still want to know. I'm curious.

Come on! What's wrong? Feed me here. Feed me. What are you saying here? Like, feed me so I can like... Oh, okay, ready? Feed me goodness. Feed me lines. Alright? Now I have to get sad again, Joey. Sorry. Go. I'm done. Fucking pink. Fucking pink? What's pink? My skin? I'm so pink. You are. Alright, go. What's wrong, Frank? You won't... You won't care. No, tell me what's wrong.

And I just heard. Nope. Just tell me what's wrong. What's wrong? We are losing an icon of the community. Which community? Fucking what community? Our community, Joey. Oh, oh, oh. You said the community. Yeah, our community. The community. Oh. The community that we, the shared space that we fucking. See, this is why I get angry. We haven't even gotten to the point yet. What the fuck are you talking about?

The news today. Stop. Just tell me. Why? We can't get this strike if I'm singing it. Just tell me what it is. You're just dragging this out. We're... Red Lobster's filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. You did that whole thing to tell me that Red Lobster is closing?

Let's all clap for Frankie's sick fucking bit. His 10 minute bit about Red Lobster. Wait, they're bankrupt? Their banks have been erupted. Their banks erupted. Their banks are erupting. Okay. With negative cash flow? Yeah. Apparently people don't want to go and get Red Lobster anymore. Shocking to me. It is. It's not. This is a bigger, more important issue that we should discuss.

This is the death of local business. Red Lobster is not a local business. It's a nationwide chain. It's a staple of community. Your life.

When was the last time you had red lobster, Frank? Maybe like 2018. How? Really? Yeah. I was expecting like 2011. No, no, no. 2018. 2018? There's one not far. That was still six years ago. I know, but there's one not. I just haven't gotten a chance. Bro, 2018 was six years ago? It fucks me up. It fucks me up. What? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 2018 feels like right there. Yeah. Bro, 2019 was five years ago. Math. Congrats. Yeah, I know. That one fucks me up too. The pandemic. The pandemic.

Four years ago. That's banana pants. That's banana pants, right? Yeah, that's panances on the bananas. Banana... Jesus. Banana pants. What the hell is going on? And it's also the saying is banana sandwich.

Whatever it is. I'm just, you know, like, I think this is something that is big because Red Lobster has been a staple in communities, bringing people together. When you're there, you're family, but fish family, you know? That's Olive Garden. I know, but, like, fish family. That's, like, their thing. That's not their thing. Now it could be. What is their tagline? Red Lobster. Claws on us. No.

What the hell? You don't even know? Now you got to look it up. Yeah, I have to. Specify. I have to. For those of you guys that didn't get to experience, and I know they're not all closing, but it's coming to a halt. What's their tagline? Seafood differently. But like seafood.

See food differently because when you're there you're seafood now, you know, you're Combining yes, you are when you're here your family that's Olive Garden But when you're here you see food differently also completely untrue Yeah, when you're here you've given up. I think we made that joke on a previous episode when you're here. It's a wrap It's not going well when you hear divorce is imminent. Oh

When you're here mommy and daddy have been fighting a lot. Yeah, they drove separately. Did you notice that you can't fix your? Marriage with breadsticks, okay When you're here you notice your parents took separate cars when you hear mommy and daddy having slept in the same bed in three years Yeah, when you're here you often see dad in the morning walking with a pillow and blanket. How do you feel about? couples having separate bedrooms, but like in love I

What a stupid thing. No, but like, I think that's like a thing. I've heard that. With people that are going to murder each other? No, no, no. Like that they're in a happy relationship, but they're like, oh, I just want to have my own space. So at night we say, and we go in our separate rooms and we sleep. I mean, whatever, but...

You know, like... You wouldn't do that. I would never do that. Like, it's... For Becca and I, like, it's such a nice thing at the end of the night to get in bed together and, like... Kick your feet. We kick our feet. We laugh. We full-on wrestled the other night. It was fun. Sexually? You know, there's always a little bit of... Eventually. I can't do anything without a sexual charge for that fucking smoke show. You know what I mean? Like...

Jeez, dude. You're going to get all horny on me. I'm not getting horny. Also, you went like this. Chill out. Fucking. It's like fucking like what every fucking middle-aged dad, like, did you guys, you know? Fucking, you know, took it down. You know what I'm saying? Took it to the gas station and filled the room. This is something. That was so disgusting. I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah. Well, he just talked about my wife. I did. But I talked about you. You talked about me being a gas pump, my wife being a car. I don't like that. I'm only allowed to talk about her like that, okay? Gas pump.

I just I think this is a big like we're gonna look back like Planet of the Apes Terminator, you know like All movies about the future you could look back and like there's like a pivotal moment in history when you could say like oh that was a big moment that things started to turn and Red Lobster closing is that I think so I think this is the death of like mid casual cuisine in the United States cuisine, you know

Bonefish Grill on the way out. That one's a good one. Bonesaw. Wow, yeah. Bonefish Grill is also on the way out. That one I'm okay with because that place sucks balls. But... Bonesaw. I just think that Red Lobster was such a place that carried elegance. What? Yeah, it did. For the 90s and early 2000s. Chili's?

Chili's is also closing, which we could talk about if you choose. I've never been inside of a Chili's. I've been inside of a Chili's. I've been inside a TGI Friday's. It's basically TGI Friday's with like a southwestern kick. Yeah. Like it's just like, oh, you want, we're going to call our fucking wings like, you know, Piquito Pollo Bites, you know, like. Oh, there's like a. There's like, yeah, it's like a, like a southwestern, like that's why it's called Chili's.

I mean, they just say Chili's. What you're saying is Chili's. I say Chili's. Okay. That's the way you should say it. I mean, you don't say that. I don't know why you're... Joey, this is a big thing. I know you're not a big Red Lobster guy. I mean, I would love to go and get some biscuits before they close.

It's worth... Bro, there's the Red Lobster that was in like that like Queens... Like the Queens Mall adjacent. You know what I'm talking about? The one that had like... It was like... It had like six stores. I think that's the one that I went to with you. Probably for my birthday. Yeah. Yeah. So like... Years ago. You were probably turning nine. If those walls could talk. No, actually, because when I turned nine, I went to WWF New York.

I was also there. Yeah. And we watched. Wow. We watched The Rock. Holy shit. Yeah. I'm getting that back in my head now. Isn't it crazy? We watched The Rock return. And Test was there. Test was there. And we're like, yo, big boot me. Yeah. He didn't big boot me. Mainly because I was like. Wow. WWE New York. Yeah. You remember that? Did you come to my birthday at Dr. Jekyll? No.

By the way, just so you know, we have shows coming up. Joe, you better figure out talking before those shows. It ain't gonna happen, Chief. Is it called Jays? No, no, no. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hydes or some shit like that. I know the novel. Yeah, but it's based off of that. It's like a horror dinner thing. I don't think I did, no. No? Damn. WWF New York. That place was sick. Remember the Mars place? Planet Hollywood? Yeah.

I mean, why do I even speak to you? I said one thing. Mars place? No, it wasn't called Mars place, but it was like a restaurant that was like, it takes place on Mars. You don't remember that? I don't remember that. Now you got to look that up because I have no clue. Your sister would probably remember because it was like a little kind of like- I feel like, yes, these chain restaurants people have spoken about, you know, maybe they're not like- Mars 2112. You don't remember this? No, I don't remember that at all.

Dude, it was massive. I remember like... Look at this place. Planet Hollywood. Like you walk in and it's like, oh, it's Sylvester Stallone's jacket. Like it was like you're on Mars, but in a restaurant. No, I don't really care for that. I don't need to be on another planet to eat. I'm fine eating on this one, you fucking idiot. Or Planet Hollywood. That's the only acceptable planet. No, that's not true. But like, you got to understand. Families like ours that didn't come from money...

These like middle of the pack, middle of the road, like casual dining restaurant experiences were like, that was like our fine dining. So like we're losing that now. So now, now Joey. You just have to go to regular restaurants. It's not that crazy. Now you're going to shut the fuck up. Now you either have places that are like, oh, you go and you fucking knock on a door at a bodega and you get like a fucking A5 Wagyu beef chopped cheese because now we're just completely stealing all forms of fucking culture.

Or it's like these ones that you go to where it's just like, oh, here comes my fucking deconstructed chicken liver mousse. And it's like, we need something in the middle for the people. I mean, I don't, I wouldn't say red lobsters in the middle. I think it's definitely, you can go to restaurants that aren't fine dining. And those are in the middle. What you're describing is, I think we're seeing Joey that, that, that,

dining experience and local dining experiences are... We're not seeing that. What we are seeing is that it's hard to keep any chain going forever. Fucking way to go, economist. Fucking thank you. Thank God we have Joe Rome here.

We do have some more ads. Oh, are you going right into the ads? Yeah, we're going right into the ads. You're not even going to let me fucking mourn my boys at Red Lobster? We can get back to your mourning. But we have SeatGeek. SeatGeek, if you want to get tickets to anything else, anything in the world, you want to go to a concert, you want to go to a Broadway play like me, you want to go to, I don't even know, you want to go to the Basement Yacht Experience or something like that, I'm sure there's tickets on SeatGeek over there, but you should buy them through our website first. I'm just going to say that. But you can get them on SeatGeek also. I looked up. I actually looked on SeatGeek, and I was like, oh, we're on there. That's kind of cool.

So anyway, uh, but yeah, SeatGeek, this is where you can get all your tickets. Um, it's the number one rated ticketing app in the app store. Um,

I've used it for years. I love it because I know when I'm paying a good price for a ticket or a bad price, if it's dark red, stay away. If it's dark green, those are the ones you want because those are a good price. So yeah, love SeatGeek and we can save you some money on tickets. The summer's coming up. There's a lot of events. You can go to a lot of concerts, maybe outdoor stuff, maybe a festival or two or whatever it is, but you can get your tickets on SeatGeek. Use the code BASEMENT10 for 10% off

of your tickets. All right. So that is 10% off any tickets on SeatGeek. Okay. This used to be available just for first time buyers, but now it's available for anybody. So you can use the code basement 10 for 10% off any tickets on SeatGeek. So if you're going to something, get the tickets on SeatGeek, use that code basement 10 for that 10% off. Okay. Go download the app and enjoy the savings and enjoy yourself.

And we also have Hexclad. Here we go, folks. Hexclad. Frankie just lit up. He loves Hexclad. Pots and pans, baby. Pots and pans. Frankie loves pots and pans. Mostly pans, but definitely pots as well. Usually when selecting pans, you must choose between the performance of stainless steel, the durability of cast iron, and the convenience of nonstick. But with Hexclad,

You can get it all, okay? Because it does all of that. So you need nice new pants that can do it all? You're going to want to do it with Hexclad. And it's not just us saying this, okay? Gordon Ramsay, probably the most like... Most cook. Most cook of cooks. He's the most cook of cooks. But he's a very judgmental guy. And this guy trusts Hexclad, okay? Hexclad, bam, in the pan.

hexclad bomb in the pan flip it over take it off the flame put it back on the flame on and off on and off boy i hope they are happy with this ad read uh hex class six piece set is the perfect starter bundle to enjoy uh the incredible versatility of their products uh full disclosure hexclad they sent out some pots and pans

non-stick. I'm flipping things around. It's great. Love it. Joe loves the flip with the Hexclad pan. What's better than literally having like eggs in a pan and being able to flip it like a chef? The best. And you're going to want to do it with Hexclad. But right now, okay, support our show and check them out at hexclad.com slash basement. All right. Get that.

Get that hexclad going. It's hexclad.com slash basement. And it's giving our listeners 10% off of your order with our exclusive link. All right? So hexclad, we're going to spell it for you. H-E-X-C-L-A-D dot com slash basement. Okay? Get 10% off of these pots and pans. Maybe it's time to like, you know, throw out the old ones that you had for 50 years. Get some new hexclads in there that are going to really make you look like a chef. Oh, yeah.

Gordon Ramsay says so, so go to hexclad.com slash basement. Get that 10% off. You're welcome. Yeah. Oh, man. I've been watching a ton of Top Chef. Have you? Dude. I watched the baking championships. Fuck that. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. You would love Top Chef. I really think you would because they're... Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. The only thing that gets me a little frustrated about these shows, though, is they always do...

Like fine dining. I don't like that. Dishes like, bro, be like, you know what? I made chicken tenders. Yeah, give me a fat pizza or something. Dude, that's what I'm talking about. Like, yes, they're incredibly impressive. And I know like they have to kind of cook for like the chefs, but like.

If it's like someone gives you potato chips, don't make like a au poivre out of it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't even know what any of this shit is. That's why I like the spring baking championship because it's just cakes. I'm going to eat all of this. That's why, you know what? Buttercream, fucking ganache. I don't even know the difference, but they're fucking great. It doesn't matter. There is no difference probably, but I don't care. Dude, you know what I like? They make cakes and then they have like a, they're like, oh, this is a passion fruit

Whatever, liquid. No, no, no. Well, sometimes they do that, but they take a brush and they just brush. Brush, brush, brush. And then it like seeps in. I'm like, oh, I want to eat this thing. It's like a tres leches. Like it's very wet and moist. Three milks. Three milks. Congrats. You know at least two words in Spanish. Uh,

That's why if you like, like, that's why I fell in love. Yeah. In love so hard with guys, grocery games. He loved that. Dude. Yeah. This fucking guy comes out and he's just all about, he's just like, listen,

Listen up, motherfuckers. You know, he doesn't say that, but he's just like... They should be allowed to curse. And they come out and they're just like, yo, I made a pizza, dude. He'll be like, yo, make chicken tenders. And they'll come out and he'll be like, oh, by the way, you can't use chicken. You know? And they're fucking cooking right there. Bing, bang, boom. Dude, it is such... I went... I am not being... Like, I am not exaggerating here. I watched nothing but guys' grocery games for like a week and a half straight. For like... And I was the happiest I've ever been in my life. The Food Network...

Is the best channel on TV Because you don't gotta deal with the nonsense And stupidity of other shit But every show is good There's no show that I'm watching and I'm like this sucks When people are making food you're like fuck Because you'll get like Guy Fieri Coming in and he's like alright dude We're gonna fucking throw barbecue sauce On here and just fucking big old fried nuts And it's like yeah And then the next show will be like

Welcome to Barefoot Contessa and we're gonna like enjoy a little sip of wine while we make some roasted artichokes. Yeah, it's like

It's like they got range with all that shit. I like both of these, absolutely. Mostly, I like watching baking shit because I'll eat all of it. Like the cooking. Yeah, like the fine dining stuff that they do, that's a little tougher because I'm like, one, I don't know the entire ingredient list. And it's just more so for show and it's like artwork, which I can appreciate, but not for now. I'm not going to be filled up, dude. Fill up food, babe. Okay.

Also, there was a show, I forget the name of it, but they pair a chef with like an architect or some shit. And they build like cakes that are like animatronic. Dude, that's not the word. I like the cake ones, but like, I feel like I would feel guilt. Like what was the one? There's so many cake shows now. And like, honestly, cake shows got to take a fucking backseat to cooking shows. It's a lot. But like, they'll have like, they'll make something and it's so beautiful. And it's like, I don't want to.

Eat this? I just want to stare at it. You know, like there's that guy on TikTok that makes like fucking deer out of chocolate. Yeah. I don't want to eat that. I just want someone to be like, you know what I made, chef? Here's a burger. This thing is spitting as fucking much as it could. Yeah. You know, and then Guy Fieri walks over with just Guy Fieri'd out. And he's just like, this got fucking finger licking donkey sauce on it.

You know? Yeah. That's what I want. Yeah, dude. I actually love those. Cause like all these French terms, they mess me up. Yeah. It makes me feel less, less than. And I want to see something and be like, you know what? Like I've actually seen ingredients and been like, yo, I'm going to go get those and try to cook some stuff. You know what's actually good? I forget the name of it, but it's like this one guy, his name is Noah Cap, by the way. No, no cap. That's kind of, he knew what he was doing. He, he goes to carnivals.

and tries all these like different carnival foods and some of them are just ridiculous. It's like, here's a waffle, you're gonna dunk it and you put sprinkles, dunk it again and then breadcrumbs, dunk it again, deep fry it and then syrup and I'm like, bro! You're into the sweets. You're into the sweets and I appreciate the sweets but like, I want the savory and the salty more than the sweet. Of course, I'm talking about

Flavor, bro. I'm talking about like, look. Slow down. Get a bunch of different things. I appreciate it. They do desserts in guy grocery games. They cover all bases. They do appetizers. They do entree. They do dessert. Bro, I... Chopped? I was trying to put on a diner... What is it? Diners? Drive-ins? Dives, baby. So I went to go put that on like the new season, but it played from the very first episode. So about it. Glasses on. Today I'm gonna... Yo, he stops at a place that it's a...

Mm-hmm. On the side of the road. Hell yeah. And they make like barbecue and there's just like one fridge and there's one lady and her name's like... Tabitha. No, it's like Dylan or something. Like, you know? Yo, I think I saw the exact one you're talking about. And she like... It's like an old white woman, right? Yeah. Well, she's not like that old. But like she makes like these ribs and whatever and like people just...

Hell yeah. And she's making these ribs and I'm like, this doesn't look up to code at all. But I'm into that. I was so into Guy's Grocery Game. I'm telling you. I'm telling you.

It will change your life if you just sit and watch. Because it is so good. Also, they had an episode because one of the celebrity chefs that came on did pass away and they did a fucking tribute episode of him. Damn. Bro, it pulled me in all emotions. I was hungry. I was horny. I was excited. I was fucking sad. Horny for food. I was waiting for sad. Horny for food. Horny for food. I should have specified that. But...

Man. I love those fucking shows, man. Oh, God, dude. And just for the record, if any TV execs are watching, because we know how much you guys do watch. Please. We can't be on them. What? Dude, it's like... I'll be a guest judge. That's what I mean. Oh, yeah. It's a goal of mine to be a guest judge, but I also feel like... Because when I watch the shows and they have like, ooh, celebrity guest judge. And then a part of me is like, what the fuck? Is this...

gonna say to a chef like here's Pat Noswald what do you think of the wash uncle buffet I think that if you just cook the chicken a little longer there'd be more like flavor and they're always like respectful they're like yes yes I think so thank you chef I would be like listen Pat shut the

the food you make the movies that's it yeah absolutely apps of fuck but I would take it mad serious I would take it bro I would take it so seriously I'd be like honestly like there is a really good balance of texture and you know like I can see like there's enough of the fucking you know like people just oh you know what they say they go I wish I had a little more almond a little more she gave me a little more almond yeah I love when they do that because it's like I know it

We never would have known there was almonds in it. Absolutely not. But like a little more. Give me a little more. But also like I feel like a lot of those like the actual chefs. Because I only know people that are in that industry. I don't really know many chefs. But I know people that have worked in it. And they say like it's all ego. Like it's all like I am the best. And like a lot of those people.

competitions, the chefs will say something and it's just so out of control and people will just be like, yes, well, I thought that too. So I was going to say it, but I didn't because you said it first. You know what I mean? My favorite is like when everyone's going around the table and then it turns into American Idol where like, oh, I think this is great. And there's one guy and he's just like, your buttercream is loose. Or something like, it's not good. And they're like, yeah, you know, it was. And it's like, fuck. Or the one that where they go like,

They'll be like, you know what I think? And then I'll be like, like the music. And it's like, I think it was wonderful. And it's like, you know, like there's like, okay. All right. Thank you so much. Thank you, chef. Yes, chef. Yes. The yes chef is like a cult thing. Can we say that? People that work in the food industry, it's kind of culty. Bro, you remember the fucking restaurant we went to and they were all like in unison, like, I was like,

I started cheering up, chanting along. Because if you've seen the menu, you know why that's like... Weird. Sort of triggering. But we were sitting in a restaurant. Mind you, I've never heard this in a restaurant ever. The other one that we heard was in Austin. Young P. Oh, Young P. Yeah. But that was... Yeah, they're like greeting people. But this one, like every so often you hear like... And I was like, yo, what the fuck is happening? No, I know what it was. What were they saying? They were saying...

plating and then they would respond like ready to play like it was oh shit like it was fucking like yeah military camp like they were like waiting waiting you know it's like oh yeah i was like it's gonna be triggering for some people jesus dude yeah oh man dude go i'm telling you you want to make your week turn around if you're having a bad week or a bad day guys grocery games

Diners drive-ins and dives. That's good, too. And then there's other ones out there, too. Dude, I love when they have, like, a burger or something, and then they... There's so much on it that they have to stick two pikes. Pikes? Spikes. Yeah. No, what's the word? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Either one. Either one is okay. There's something about it that's uncomfortable. Toothpicks? Toothpicks, but toothpick, toothpick. Yeah, these are like... Skewers? Skewers is the word, dude. Pikes. I mean, a pike is, like, what they put, like, heads on in Game of Thrones. Right. Okay, yeah, so it's kind of like that. So it can work. Yeah, but I love that. And you're like, oh...

It's just going to fall apart and be messy. I know, I know. Or when they just like, they take a bite of something and it's just like... And it's just like... It's an explosion of flavor. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's what I'm talking about. And you're like, there's no way you're going to keep that sandwich together after the third bite. Hell yeah, hell yeah. And it's just like... And then they get upset and there's like, it's falling apart on me. You...

A well put together sandwich has never done well for the world. Yeah, no, it's got to fall apart. It's got to fall apart. Yeah. That means that they're going to eat on a plate and get a little four. Yeah, no one likes like...

I shouldn't say no one. There is a place for like neat and tidy food. Yeah, but... People like that. I have a problem with tomatoes. They're too slippery. Okay. No, because like I have a problem with tomatoes. What do tomatoes do to you? Bro, and tomatoes are like they just they run away when you try to eat them. They do run. It like bothers me because the rest of the sandwich wants to stay and be a sandwich.

Well, no, it depends on the layering. It depends on the layering. I know, but when you bite into it, the tomato's like, I'm out of here. It's trying to slide out. I'm like, bro, get back here. I'm going to fucking help you here, all right? And it's a new tactic that I recently have taken, okay? I make burgers. Where's the tactic?

I don't know why that was a stupid thing. I know that you're about to like give me this long-winded thing about how you put the tomato somewhere else. Where does it go? So save me the, spare me the fucking time and the long-winded, so I do this and I do that. You put the tomato where? Underneath the patty.

I just saved everyone a fucking 10 minute rant about you put it under the patty. Thank you. And that's a good idea because the roughness of the patty might hold it. It keeps it in place. It's also, you also need to be careful where you put that lettuce and what type of lettuce. Are you shredding the lettuce? Are you doing leaves of lettuce? I would rather shred it because leaves are, those are another ones that they start slipping and sliding. They slip and slide. People put like a mayo on something or a ketchup. I mean, we're putting lube now on an already slippery thing. It's fucking all over the place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen,

Food, man. Food. Food, brother. Put us on a... Yo, you know what I would do to be a judge on a show? Dude... And I won't do anything crazy. I'll just tell you it's good. No, no, no. Here's the thing. We're not going to come and be like funny jokey ha-has. We're going to be so fucking serious. Oh, yeah. Like hyper serious. Like, oh, okay. You know, like umami. You know, like I'm ready. By the way... Don't know what umami is. I know. I do now, but I thought it was an ingredient.

I mean, there are ingredients that will elicit umami.

Did you ever do the science experiment in sixth grade or something where it's like you take Q-tips with different flavors on them and you put them on different parts of your tongue? Because your tongue literally is sectioned off to get flavors better or worse than other parts. I have seen that. I haven't done it, though. Do it. It's fun. I've seen the diagram of sugar, salty, sweet. Yeah, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just try it. It's a... Umami? It's kind of like... Yeah, it's... Umami?

Careful. Oh, at the gay bar, there was another drink called Thank You Poppy. I was like, what is that? Just be a little careful, okay? What, umami? Yeah, well, just a little careful. What are you worried about? Well, umami is typically from Japanese cuisine, so just be a little careful. What? Oh, do I sound Japanese? Some people may interpret it as you're being purposely offensive. Oh, I was trying to be like a horny girl, like, ooh, umami. Which, why would she be saying that? Why would she be saying that?

Well, because she could be gay, dude. Oh, yeah. Call back. Well, I don't know. Started with the gay story. Yeah. Maybe if it was like a lesbian, Hispanic couple. Ooh, mommy. Which they exist. So, yeah. Or it could be, you know, just like, I don't know. You know, I don't know. Could be anything. Could be anything. Anything at all. Anything we accept at all. We're cool with it all. Anyway, I think that is all for today, folks. Frank, where can they find you? Hopefully...

on the panel in the next Grimey's Grocery Games. Oh my god, we would do anything. Dude, it would be so fun. I'm just saying that. I just want to eat a bunch of stuff that... Or dude, like, can we call him Guy? Are we on a first name basis with him? With Guy? Yeah. Fieri? Fieri? Fieri? Or Mr. Fieri? Yeah. I mean, I don't know him. Mr. Fieri. Yeah.

If you happen to just be in the neck of the woods of, you know, Jersey, New York, general area. If you ever get desperate to have a guest. If you're ever looking for people that could also say, like, that's bomb tits donkey sauce. You know, we'll, I promise you, we'll give you good, like, we'll give you good footage. I will make up terms. I will show up dressed like you. Yeah.

Frosted tips and all. He'll have his sunglasses on his head. I'll have mine behind his head. Behind the head. Yeah. With a visor. Duh. And we will have good names for these sauces. Oh, man. It's like the saltiness, the balance of flavor.

this is some big titty nipple sauce, you know? Yeah. Like this, we, we were here, Mr. Fieri. Yeah. Anyway, uh, you guys can follow us, uh, at the basement yard on Tik TOK and Instagram, uh, go to the basement yard.com for all tickets. Uh, there's still some tickets available for Frankie's late night show on his birthday in AC July 27th, July 27th. Uh, you can go get your tickets at the basement yard.com. Uh, the late show is still there. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're super excited for that. Um,

But yeah. And also, if you're coming to the shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Fill out the form. Send it in. And we'll see you guys out there. All right? See you next time. On Diners, Drive-Ins, and The Basement Yard.