Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the Basemiyahd people! It's me, Joe. I love cock. No-
You do! No, technically. Kind of technically. Hey, folks, welcome back to the stream yard. Oh, Josh, by the way, the editing for that, we're going to show me. Yeah, yeah. Well, he gets it. He's been doing this for a while. He gets it. But, yeah, last night I did eat dick. Well, first, at a restaurant. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Josh, you know where to edit that, too. All right? Last night I did eat dick. Pizzle, it said. It said pizzle.
Kind of makes it sound... Pizzle and testicles. Better, but... It was a soup. Welcome back. Weekly episode. Doing it live. Large in public. Backwards hat. White t-shirt. You okay? Oh, you wanted to show off his tattoos. Fun fact. The other day, someone asked us about Roman numerals, and he goes, as if I don't know. Take it easy, brother. I also pointed to the wrong arm. Yeah, you also did point to the wrong arm. It happens. So wait. We're jumping in hot. Heavy. You're going fucking feet first. Yeah. Head first, feet first. What do you... Head first. Head first.
But when you do a pencil dive, you go feet first. Who does that besides children? And people who are jumping off of tall cliffs. What's that tallest cliff you've jumped off of? Not that high. I'm scared. At the lake house, they had two rocks. Do you remember those rocks on the other side of the... Oh, the suicide rock? One was called suicide rock. Where multiple people have died? Yeah. One was called chair rock.
You can't jump off them anymore After There was like one summer Where like Six people died And they were like Alright We're No more But I'll give you five Chair rock I never jumped off suicide rock I jumped off chair rock And that was maybe like 12 feet Nothing crazy That's nothing But suicide rock was like I was up there dude
And the thing about Suicide Rock is, like, it went up and curled like that. And you stood up here. So you had to run. So you had to, like, run down and jump off. Yeah. And that's what people would happen is, like, because the rock underneath, they'd hit the rock underneath and they wouldn't come back up. It was a suicide mission. Can I ever tell you there was one time where...
Like my dad would bring us on the boat and he'd dock the boat, not dock the boat. He'd anchor the boat and we'd get out, we'd swim around, blah, blah, blah. And the cops come over and they're like, Hey, listen, we need you to pull the anchor and
Leave this area right now. I was like why he's like someone went under and we don't know where they are You were swimming under a dead body on top of a dead body. Yeah, ew We moved the boat and we looked and we watched them pull someone out right where we were right fucking where we were No, no, I swear to god. I could never swim. I can't listen. I I feel bad. Why are dead bodies so disgusting? I just some of them are kind of cool, but like
Which who's? Like the way that you die. A dead body's cool? Like the way you die could make it cooler. But like when people drown, they get like white. And they get blown up. And they get... Well, that happens all the time because... Is that true? Yeah, the gases in your body are leaving. So like that happens, period. I have a friend that's an undertaker. Wait, I thought you fill up. What are you filling up with? I'm not friends with the undertaker. I don't know if I'm a lot... Is this term like still like politically correct now? Undertaker? She's like an undertaker or like a mortician. Yeah, a mortician. Whatever it is. But she like...
She's cool with dead bodies. She like daps them up all the time. Every day. She puts makeup on them. For her day. I ever like anytime I talk, I'm like any big cocks. And she's like, that's the first thing you ask. Any big dead cocks. Well, you know, if you have a good looking dead dick,
I can only imagine. Imagine. Imagine if that shit had the sun hitting it. Yeah, imagine. It had some fucking, yeah, some good old vitamin D. But she would say, yeah, all that stuff. And I remember learning about it during school. It was like, all this stuff happens to your body after, like rigor mortis, where like your hands stay like this. There's a lot of different stuff. Yeah, we were swimming on top of a dead body.
Yeah, oh, that's so disgusting. What did it look like white like what as like the wall? I was gonna say the wall, but that one's green. Yeah, that one is very very white. Oh, it's just why did you stick around? What's wrong with your dad his children? You know men of that generation. They're like you gotta see you guys see you guys see what happens when you die Yeah, it's like, you know, oh don't need that dead bodies are so Have you ever seen a dead body not in like a funeral setting? I don't know. Hmm. Oh
Maybe. Like, I think that's something that would stick with you. Well, there was one time that I was driving and it wasn't a dead body, but I drove by and I saw like a sheet over a person in the street. Oh. And I popped a U-turn like, yo, what the fuck? And you went to go see the sheet.
No, no, no. But I went to the scene and was like, yo, what happened? Nosy little bitch. Yeah, yeah. But then, you know what's funny? I made a U-turn and then I drive back and then I saw, oh, they're filming something. And I was let down that someone didn't die. You know what I mean? Like, I was kind of upset. Oh, it's not a real dead body. Someone...
Fuck. He's alive under there. I feel bad. Yeah, I hear you. I feel bad because I'm definitely the type of person in traffic where I'll be like, someone better be dead. And then I drive by and no one, I've never seen that happen, but like, I'll be like, what's wrong with me? That was kind of mean. That was kind of not nice. Like, and people love looking at giant crashes. Ooh,
Hope they're okay. Yeah, well, why is that a saying where people like, you can't look away like it's a car crash? Like, definitely look away from a car crash. I'm honest. I can't look away. Really? I have to see everything. Oh.
Like if I have a thing, if someone told me like, oh, there's a video of like, I saw one of those earlier. I saw one of those earlier. I don't want to talk about it too much, but I saw one. It looks like you're going to bring it up though. Yeah. I said too much. Okay. So I'm going to, I'm going to, once I say it, we'll never talk about it again. I'm going to have questions. It was like a tech CEO.
At like an event. Oh, and he fell. And he was on like a wire thing and it was going to come down. It's like a big like, you know, like we're here, Silicon Valley. And it snapped and he fell and didn't make it, unfortunately. That's sad. Very sad stuff. But it's true. Why do we watch that? We're like freaks. I don't know. We're sick. Bro, this is why like the internet wouldn't have been able to be around for like Harry Potter. Because isn't there that like thing, the Thestrals, you can only see them if you've seen death?
What are you saying right now? Everyone, the internet now. Where did Harry Potter come from? What are you talking about? I'm thinking of Harry Potter. Remember the thing, for those of you guys that don't know Harry Potter, there are certain animals, mystical animals, that you can only see if you've seen death. Remember? Thestrals, I think they're called. Okay. And now, with the internet, we all see someone die in some capacity. I guess. You know, Rotten.com, we'd be seeing Thestrals walking all over the place. We've brought that up so many times.
There was a famous video that went viral. You ever see it? Where the guy's like, he's like at like a press conference or something. And then why are we talking about this? But then, but then he gets like a, an envelope and he just takes out a gun and shoots himself. No. I saw, I saw that when I was young. Oh. And it reset. That's sad. No.
Funny reaction to what I'm saying. Oh. Well, I feel bad for your innocence. It was ripped from you. Shut up. I was rewinding it. I was fascinated by it. Really? But blood is just pouring.
pouring out. No, no, no. All right, all right, all right. Come on. YouTube's, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not showing the video. I'm just saying. I'm sure people have seen it. They know what I'm talking about because it was like a very viral thing. That's not nice. That's not good. No, it wasn't. I didn't love it. I saw a tweet once and it was like, JK Rowling said that Harry Potter takes place during the 90s and that's the most unrealistic thing because at no point in time did any of the kids at Hogwarts just go, man, the Bulls are on quite the run. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Yeah, no. But you had, so you ate a dick. You ate a dick. I went to this place. I believe it's pronounced Knox. Oh, you're just giving them the free plug, huh? Yeah. I mean, it's a new restaurant. It's very good. It's Filipino food. And they had a soup that had penis and balls in it. What kind of penis? I believe bull, but I don't know. Was that thing huge? No, it was all chopped up.
Oh, they didn't even give the bull like you didn't you couldn't even like sit there and revel at this bull's cock while you're eating it. Just like, by the way, good for you. No, it wasn't shaped like a carrot or something. They just chopped it up. Yeah, it was mixed up. Was it like chewy? Was it just like regular? I don't know which meat was which.
I'm assuming they taste different. Well, it was dick and balls, right? Yeah, it was all mixed up into the soup. Was there any... You couldn't make any distinction between either of them? I could... I knew that there was like two different types in there, but I didn't know which was which. One of them was a little more chewy than the other. That's got to be the dick. I was assuming that. It's got to be the dick because you can chew on a dick. You can't chew on balls. Not with that attitude. Yeah.
But think about it. It was mad good, though. Like, you know, like, like, like those old, like, rubber, like, little, like, guys you'd put on your finger that, like, when we were kids, they'd always be in, like, goodie bags. You could chew on them. I feel like that's what a dick would be. Okay. No? A dick's like a muscle, right? It's just muscly. Yeah. But isn't, like, steak, like, the muscle? Steak is muscle, yeah. So why would it be? I mean, I guess steak can be chewy if you don't, like...
Yeah, if you like, if you eat raw steak, I can imagine. It's like chewy as fuck. Yeah, it's very, very chewy. I've seen videos of these weird whites just eating raw steak. Well, this fucking liver king guy. That's true. He's out there and he's doing like, he's mixing. I saw one and I had to turn away. And it's funny. I'll watch the people fucking dying painful deaths. I literally was going to say. But I'll be like, no, raw chicken. No, no, no.
I've watched a video of a guy shooting himself in the mouth multiple times, but watching the liver king eat like a liver is like gross. Dude, he put like, it was like heavy cream and just like several raw chicken breasts in a blender and blended it up and drank it. And he's like, this is the best. This guy, it's funny. He's like, listen, I don't know the liver king. I know that there was some stuff that came out that he actually did use some, you know. I mean, he admitted it. He was doing fucking stuff. But like.
He doesn't look healthy, right? Like he doesn't look so red. He looks like he sneezes so much and holds it all in. You know what I'm saying? Like this guy, he looks like he's been farting inside of himself for 10 years and it's just going out. Like he's not gaining muscle. He's just getting more air in his butt. Yeah. But he is strong, but also there's a lot of air in you. Yeah. Well, apparently that could have been the, you know, anabolic steroids that he was maybe ingesting. It could have. And he looks always sunburned.
Yeah, he doesn't look like healthy. He looks like, you know that one kid everyone knew in high school that never did coke but looked like they did all of the coke? We didn't have a kid like that in my school. Oh, that's right. Because in your school, they all admitted to doing coke. Joey went to fucking preppy Catholic school where if they weren't doing drugs, they were fucking blowing lines off the pastor's wing-wangs.
Jesus. Maybe that's what you were eating. No, I was not. What would you do, honestly? Yeah. Honestly, honestly, honestly. Yeah. If tomorrow this restaurant gets shut down. Because it was like... And it's like, by the way, it was person pizzle. It wasn't like fucking... I don't know that that would have a huge effect on me. You wouldn't be like...
You would have a moment like I would have a moment of being like ew. You just made me a cannibal But then i've also already been on record saying it was delicious so like Those filipinos they really know how to spice up a human dick. Yeah. Well, I guess so Yeah, but all the food literally every single dish we had at this place was good What was the suit was it like a like a like a bisque?
I don't know what a bisque is. A bisque is like a chowder. It's like cream-based kind of. No, it felt like a brothy thing. Ha ha.
Sounds really good. I had it. No, it was very good. I had a fat lobster bisque last night. Did you? I've never had lobster bisque, but I would like one. I mean, you need good lobster bisque. You can't get like dog shit lobster bisque. What do you think? I'm going to like a fucking drive-thru at Wendy's and order a lobster bisque. I don't know. I don't know. You know, but they were like, do you want a half portion or a whole portion? I was like, oh, half. Because I was also getting a big old fat steak. You're big on the like...
Full meal, but I want a French onion soup or some sort of soup. Yes. So here's what... You like a pre-dinner soup. Becca and I went out to dinner with friends and it was... We got fucking... We got octopus. Let me tell you. It was like a spicy... It was pulpo like a spicy. You know, I don't... Don't ask me the name of it. Caliente. Some really good fucking gadabad.
Yeah. Hey, one Gadamad, please. Do you say Gadamad? No, I say Kalamari. Okay, cool. I'm not going to be like that. But then half soup and then a fucking...
Like 44 ounce dry-aged... 44? Porterhouse, dawg. Did you all eat that? No, that was just for me and the other dude that was there. We shared it. 44 is a ridiculous amount of steak. Yeah, it was big. It was big. Did it come home with you or you fucking crushed it? No, I fucked that. I fucked that thing all night. Let me tell you. I fucking... That steak stood no chance. Did you wake up sweating?
Honestly, a little bit. Yeah, dude. I mean, anytime I eat like a lot of steak, like when we went to Keene's, I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like, I'm soaking wet. Bro, on the drive home that night after Keene's. Keene's, by the way, if you guys don't know, it's like a famous New York City steakhouse. But they're like, what do you want? 70 ounce mutton chops that are this thick and this big and it comes with two? Yeah.
On the drive home, I was like, I am going to throw up. Yeah, yeah. Not because I didn't feel well, but there was just so much meat in me. It just felt like the right thing to do. I was fucking packed with meat and I couldn't, physically couldn't not throw up. Packed with meat. But I held out. I didn't throw up. Yeah. But the fucking half portion was like this big. I was like, yeah, what is a whole portion?
So you had a lot of lobster in there? There were some chunks. There were some fucking fat chunks in there. I love lobster. Ooh, there was like this Jonah crab that came out. How's that? It's a crab. Well, why does he got a cool name? Yeah, that's a good one. Why don't we just give things names? Jonah Crab, Joshua Tree. Yeah, that's just a place. That's a bit I was actually trying to work through. Working it out. But it came out like this, like in a crab. Imagine you're a cool tree and someone just names you Joshua Crab.
It's a very biblical name. I know, but like that kind of sucks, right? Like name me something fucking sick, like Zach. It's not, I don't think there's trees named Joshua trees. It's just like a place. No, I think it's named, the place is named Joshua tree because of the trees. I don't know that. We're, you know what? We're not going to look it up. That's a species of tree? I think it's like a type of tree because there are trees that have like biblical meanings. Like the burning bush.
No, I think that was like a physical thing that happened. Like it was a, well, no, burning bushes are, they turn red in the fall. Isn't it funny to think about that in the Bible where it's like the burning bush and that Jesus revealed himself or God revealed himself. Oh, I don't know. You're telling me here. I don't know. No, no, no. So that's the thing. And like the Bible was like, there was a burning bush and it's like, oh, God is, you know. That's how he's choosing to tell everyone he's back. But I was like, yo. Because, because think about it. If you don't know anything about spontaneous combustion and that just a tree just sets on fire, you're like, there's some magic afoot. Mm-hmm.
But now we know about spontaneous combustion. Yeah. Wildfires are... Sometimes trees just explode. And wildfires are a naturally occurring thing in, you know, the environment. Even though it's not naturally occurring, there is a laser, a death laser in the sky and it's blowing it up and it's burning all of the trees. Careful, careful. You're fucking... You're Illuminati people. And all the rich people are buying up the land. Yeah, your Illuminati people are gonna come get you, so... Yeah. Oh, no. My dad's got me clued in on all this. No, but there's like a thing. What is the fucking... Dogwood trees. I remember when for the first...
Becca's first birthday after Ruby was born, I got her a dogwood tree for the house. And her father told me... Is this going to be like a full tree or like an indoor tree? A full tree. Like it's planted outside. Oh. Yeah. What's that? In the backyard. No, it's in the front. Oh. But Becca's dad was like, oh, that has a very biblical meaning. And I'm like, why? And he's like, apparently the wood of the cross was made of dogwood trees. So that's why when dogwood trees, if you look at their bark, it's like...
You know like the ground in a bug's life? You know what I'm talking about? I do. You know what I mean? All cracky? It's all cracky. That's what the bark looks like. And it's like because it's like weeping because it was used to like crucify Jesus. Oh, oh. But it's probably just because the tree grows that way, right? Yeah, probably. I don't want to, you know. Things happen. Just like, just nature happens to be nature.
Sometimes it does, yes. So are you going back for more cock and balls? I would. Like you got the taste of it now? Oh, no, I don't have like a craving for dicks or balls. I'm just saying we had a soup. We all shared the soup. It comes out in like a cauldron, and then she ladled it all out. Oh, smart. The presentation's a big part of it. If this thing just came out in a regular plate. The cocktails at this place, too, were like...
What, are there any restaurants that do like, they serve like vagina? Like, like horse vagina or something? That would be a big vagina. Well, chop it up. I've never seen a horse vagina. Come on. And that's probably for the best. Come on. But,
But no, I haven't. I've seen a horse's piece. You've seen a horse's fucking hayaduskies. Yeah, I've definitely seen that, but I've never seen where it goes. Is there any place where you can eat animal vagina? Why? Are you trying to... I mean, it's interesting, no? The famous saying is like, you know, eat everything on the pig except for the squeal. So like if it's a female pig, are you eating, you know... I had some jowls yesterday too. What's that? I think that's like your...
Oh, like guanciale or something like that? Yeah, I don't know. But, like, it was, like, Jowls, and they were, like, barbecue, and they were unbelievable. Pig cheek? I'll do it. We got two orders of those. Yeah? Yeah. Fuck, dude. It is weird that we're eating only that. Yeah. Because, like, you see a pig, and you're like, I like pigs. Yeah, I can't. These people, like, go out there and make hunting their whole personality. By the way, stand up, show them your pants, and...
By the way, Joey is wearing camo pants. He walked in. I was like, elk or deer? What are we going for today? I think I've worn these before. Yeah, they've always looked stupid. I got it. But like the people that make hunting their whole personality, like they take a picture, like holding the antlers of a dead deer. Like, cool, man. Your cock is tiny. I really would. I think that hunting is kind of cool. Would you do it?
I probably would, but I'd burst into tears. But I would, like, I'm not against it at all. What movie was that? Oh, forgetting Sarah Marshall. I'm sorry! I would never be able to do that. I would never be able to do that. My dad would do that in Columbia. Like, skinning an animal I could never do. Ew, gross. Dude, my dad would, when he would go to Columbia when we were kids, he'd come back and he had, he brought like a digital camera with him and he was like, yo, look at, he's like, look at the pictures of Columbia. They were fucking...
so much fun. I was like, all right, cool. And he'd be like, dad, why are you stabbing a pig? And he's like, oh, it's like a thing where like you stab a pig in the heart and you let it bleed. And then you burn the hair off. Like just wild shit. Yeah. It's fucking, I'm a stink. You ever burn your hair by accident? Stinks. Yeah, but it's not that bad. It's, it's not, I've, I've smelled way worse coming from my body and it didn't require any burning, but it felt like burning. Yeah.
Yeah, no. I mean, I think I could, you know, like shooting a bow and arrow at something, but then you got to eat it. You got to like, you know, do the whole circle of life thing. Bro, we watch Alone. I wouldn't go hunting just to hunt and like leave it dead. The show Alone, where like they're hunting and then they shoot just like a little squirrel. I'm like, this is fucking...
I'll eat it, but like, it's kind of sad. I'm pretty sure I've eaten squirrel by accident, like not on purpose. How do you stumble into a squirrel's fucking meat? There was a cousin of mine had gotten a cabin at the lake like 20 years ago. And they were a very eclectic Colombian group. And one of them was like a really great cook. And we went over one day and he was like, have some soup. And we're laughing about it. He's like, it's Sancocho. And we're like, oh, okay. And I'm like, what's the meat? And he's like, squirrel.
And we're like, ha ha. And he's like, ha ha ha. So he made squirrel soup? Probably, yeah. Did he kill it in the backyard? I assume. You think what? You think he just like lured it into the fucking pot? No, I thought that he like brought the meat. I don't think you could buy squirrel meat. You wouldn't want to eat a New York City squirrel. Those things are fucking radioactive. That's what I'm saying. I'd be scared. Maybe that's why I got all these tummy aches. Because of the squirrel soup. Could be.
Who knows? Not the Taco Bell. I'll like try any food for the most part. Oh, we're going to hold you to that. Bro. My new. I'm sorry. It's going to turn into a spire. It's like, yo, my new obsession is there's this couple on TikTok who their whole thing is just showing exotic tropical fruit.
And he's like, he's like had like a fruit only diet for like eight years. And he'll like pick up this thing that looks like dog shit. And he's like, this is the most delicious delectable fruit I've ever. And it's like spider snake fruit. And like, there's just wild shit out there. I might get a box. Maybe we'll try it on a Patreon episode. Try a bunch of like weird fruit. Yeah.
Okay. Have you ever had dragon fruit? I've never had it. Yeah, I've had dragon fruit hundreds of times. What does it taste like? Honestly, the ones that I've had, nothing. Really? Yeah, but I've... I heard they make you shit. There's like yellow... Yeah, the yellow ones, if you eat a whole one, it'll like clean you out. Yeah, it'll like turn you into water or something. We should try that. 30,000... First one to shit loses. 30,000 patrons. It's like Edward Scissorhands, but with 40 hands. Edward Scissorhands is a movie, Joey.
I forget. It's funny since we're talking about penis. I don't know if you saw but the Pope is back in and I was gonna say in town Is the Pope ever been in New York had to course dude when was the last time he was in New York? I've never seen the guy just because you haven't seen him means. He's not been here. I
This guy, you know he's coming. You got to see to believe. And he's like... That actually goes against the entire thing. The Pope is just like, I am coming to bless people and go to Nobu. But like definitely got to like, you know, bless people and go to like St. John's Catholic... Where's that? St. John's Cathedral?
Who? The Pope. You don't think he's going there? What's St. John's? Oh, you said St. Patrick's. St. Patrick's. That's right. That's right. I was like, what the fuck is St. John's Cathedral? I forgot. I'm not a, you know. St. Pat's. Beautiful church. Wild. Good nativity set. Really? Really good. I used to go with my family to go to Rockefeller Center and that's like right across the street. Yeah, that's what we did this year. So we would go in there and then like...
We would look at the nativity scene and be like, oh, cool. That place has a reverence to it. And I'm not a big religion guy, but you walk in there and it's like, oof. Yeah, it's crazy. And also, if you go all the way in the back, behind the altar, they have fucking catacombs. Yeah. Where there's dead popes or something. Yeah, and shit like that. Kind of crazy. Bones. Catacombs.
I love them. Hold on. Yeah, I do too. I think I love catacombs because going down... What a name. Under the... Catacombs also... I'm thinking honeycombs. It sounds cool. I'm also thinking skulls. I'm thinking skulls. I'm thinking bones. Like, what a great name for something. And I'm thinking of honeycombs as well. Like, listen, there's...
few times in history where something could be kind of scary or not good. And the name just like pushes it into a level of like, kind of sick catacombs is really cool. But whoever marketed catacombs, I think it was the French. Good for them. They were onto something there. Good fries, good catacombs. You know, if you go, but it's going underground and the walls are made of like dead heads is kind of cool. Kind of sick.
Like kind of sick. Don't hate it. I want to touch it. I kind of do too. I'd be like, I'm touching a guy's face. I've wanted to touch. Yeah. Like I want to touch a human skull. Oh, a thousand percent. I'm with you a hundred percent there. And like, they knew what they were doing. Call it like, yo, what's down there? The catacombs. Also bro. Oh, shout out to archeologists. No, no, no, no. I'm going to be honest with you. I, that's a tough one for me. Say it one more time.
I'm going to say it, but then I need you to say it to coach me. Okay. Archaeologists. Bingo. Got it. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Is that right? Yeah. So I was like adding archaeologists. You said archaeologists. Yeah. Like it's a fucking, they're like lollipops. Yeah.
Damn, line of lollipops. Archaeologists. Archaeologists. Wait, now I can't say it. Archaeologists. Archaeolollipops. And they're like lollipops and inside is little dinosaurs. Yeah, little dinosaurs. But yo, shout out to them because I don't know how they... Shout out to you at Archaeology. God damn it, now you got me doing it. Shout out to the archaeologists. Because if I was them and I uncover dinosaur bones and I got that little brush... First of all, the brush is fire, bro. Dude! Brushing bones and you're like...
seeing that it's the rib of a fucking Triceratops or something, how do you not pick up these bones and just go, yeah. I mean, they do. I think they like hold them up sometimes if they unearth them and they're like, oh, this is a, you know, how do you look at a bone and you go like, this is a toe of a Pladiosaurus or something. Also, bro, how do you not just put that shit in your back pocket? Yeah. Just take it home. Who's going to know? That's what I'm saying. What bone? I will say, I love the movie Jurassic Park for several reasons. Mm-hmm.
Close to the start of the movie when they're in the desert and they're fucking... I love that. That is one of my favorite scenes because it's just like... The brush. It looks so satisfying. Oh my God, it looks so good. Also watching a T-Rex step into the mud.
Dude. Oh, I love that. Yeah. I wanted to eat mud so bad. You want to eat mud sometimes. Sometimes. 100% of the times I see mud and I go, I want to just. I have this thing in my brain where like, if I see something appealing, the first place I go is I want to eat it. Slime. Yeah. Mud. Yeah. You know, like foam. Foam I'm okay on, to be honest with you. But like, I want to eat it.
I want to punch styrofoam. Oh, you remember? I love punching it. So, you know, obviously, you know, like stucco siding on like houses or something. When it first like became popular in like the early to mid 2000s, there was a shopping mall by us that like a strip mall that had just like completely redone their siding. And behind it, they put fresh, beautiful stucco.
And if you drive by, we would at night go there with baseball bats and our friends and literally just like we were fucking Tyson and Ali just going off on these stucco things, swinging bats at it. If you are in Astoria and you drive down 43rd Street between 23rd Avenue and Dimars Boulevard, check on the backside of that building. That's all us. Yeah.
That's a piece of history. Maybe we should go with a knife and take it. Take what? The wall? What are you talking about? It's like, as I remember it. Yeah, like that. As I remember it. Yeah, dude. When that T-Rex steps in that mud, and when the kid's in the car, and it starts sinking, and the mud is going up around him. I don't hate that. Also, like...
You're gonna think I'm making this up, but like so a T-Rex, the T-Rex steps, right? And then it makes that- It's four. It's four. It's three in the front, one in the back. Okay. Like that.
That's very good. So after he walks away, it's like a pretty deep hole and there's some water in it. I'm like, oh, get in there. I kind of want to get in this dinosaur foot pool. I just love it so much. I don't know why. What the fuck is that? I want it like when Dr. Alan Grant has the dinosaur sneeze in his face. I'm just like, yeah. No, no, no. I don't like the sneeze. But, but, but, but when the woman, what's her name? Ellie Sattler.
Her name in the movie Fucking Ellie Sattler Oh that's her name in the movie? Played by Laura Linney Oh yeah yes yes Is it Laura Linney? Hold on No that ain't it That ain't it Oh I mean Laura Dern Laura Dern My bad Sorry Miss Dern I know you're watching She ain't Um But when She's got her hand In the shit
Oh yeah, and it like crumbled poop around her. Yeah, and it's like, she's like, oh, this one's sick. I'm like, that is sick. What you're doing is sick, dude. Dude, no. When they're fucking enjoying the dessert and she's holding the green Jell-O. Jell-O. I wanted green Jell-O. Anytime, I swear to God, you will think I'm lying. Anytime I've had Jell-O since I've seen that movie, I shake it. I shake it in my spoon. Or I'll have a cup of water and I'll just go. Yes. Just so I can see the ripples. Yes.
Oh my God. I'm glad that we're living the same exact life here. Yes. Well, you know, that's what happens. And I'm sure everyone can relate to that because like we all like these types of things, right? Well, there's, listen, like there are certain things of like iconic movies that just kind of like, it spruces it up a little bit. Yeah.
Yeah. Like when you hear like, for instance, I don't know when the last time you saw the mask was the Jim Carrey. Yeah. But at the beginning of the movie, the guy like uses a crowbar to open like a chest and there's like pebbles around it. And the sound of him moving the like river rocks out of the way is like, I swear to God, I could fucking come to it, bro. I know an exact scene where you're going to love this. Okay. Jumanji. Yes. One.
When he pulls it out of like the dirt or whatever, then he like kind of, but no, the other, the other one. So like in there, but the one where he picks it up and there's a bunch of dust and he just tilts it and it all falls off and reveals it. I'm like, that was the night. But also like, but also like when the kid gets like punched, when little Alan Parrish and he like goes like this to his lip and there's blood. Yeah. Oh,
I do agree though! You know what I'm talking about? Why do we like this shit? Bro, like just the weirdest things as a kid like kind of turned me on a little bit now that I'm thinking about them. Yeah. There was a movie. I also liked when his hands were getting sucked into the fireplace and he was like, "What's going on?" Like it's kind of cool. Hold on, hold that thought. Recently played Jumanji? Fire. Played it? Yeah, the board game. Oh.
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Wild. Wild. Dude, another one of those movie things that I was thinking. There was a movie that I don't know if you've ever heard of, let alone saw. It was in the 90s. It was Macaulay Culkin. Okay. It was called The Pagemaster. Bro, yeah. Dude. I love The Pagemaster. I had it on VHS. Bro, I... Oh!
I like tried to show it to Miles. He was like, it's all right. I was like, fucking don't though. Yeah. But the scene where he's in the library and the paint comes over around the corner and it's going for him and he's in the middle. And it makes like everything cartoon, right? Oh, dude. I love that. God, guys, if you haven't seen it, it's honestly, it's okay. But it was way cooler. I haven't seen it in a very long time since I was a children. Uh, but it, it's like him. Whoopi Goldberg plays like one of the books.
Really? Yeah. I remember that movie. I remember it being like really good. And also he gets like struck by lightning or something. Yeah. Well, no, it's like a storm. Yeah. And he slips and hits his head and imagines the whole thing. Got it. Because there's like, and like the paint dripping from the ceiling. Guys. It's really good. It gets on his jacket. Go see it. Oh yeah.
yeah go see it go see it go see it go see it the paint gets on his jacket and then it starts turning into a cartoon oh my you could rent you can rent it for like two or three bucks on amazon i might watch that i might force my nephew to watch it because i want to watch it yeah absolutely definitely force him to watch it that was one of the movies that me and my siblings have like we watched all the time anything that we had vhs we just watch all the time yeah yeah yeah like constantly i'm right there with you like that uh i mean a ton a ton of harriet the spy
You know I've never seen that. Oh, when they put their feet together, I was like, oh.
I was kind of a little foot fetish. Just watch it. Wait, who puts their foot together? Watch it, brother. Watch fucking Harriet the spy. But Harriet is putting her foot against someone's foot? It was like a thing that they did. It was like their secret cool thing. Putting their feet together? One person would paint their feet and then they'd put it with the other one. Just go watch. I'm not going to say more. You can't just say stuff like this. I can absolutely say stuff and not follow up with it. I can absolutely do that. Painted feet. So the Pope is cool with jerking off. What?
What? The Pope? We didn't even get to that, did we? No, we didn't. But you were saying that a little bit before the show, but I don't really even know. So the Pope had gave a sermon. And it was like as a result of one of his head guys, his head cardinals being like, he wrote a book about fucking and sucking, apparently. This is quite the paraphrase job you're doing. Yeah, whatever. I don't care. What's the Pope's name? Do you know? Francis. Francis.
Yeah, he's- You can't all be named Francis. No, he's Frankie. Can you just change your name? Like, is it like a rapper? You can be whoever you want? No, he's Frankie. I'm pretty sure he's Frankie. Pope Frankie Lou. Pope name. Like, do they only elect people with the name fucking Francis?
This guy's name is Jorge. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The Pope's name is Jorge Mario Bergoglio. Nah, what's his Pope name though? And he changed it to Pope Francis. What's his stage name? Yeah, there it is. That's it. That's what I'm saying. His stripper name. His stage name is Pope. They're like, you know, Jorge doesn't work. It doesn't appeal. You can't be Pope Jorge. Yeah, it doesn't appeal. I mean, you could though. What was John? Be you, Pope. Don't gotta be Francis. What was John Paul's real name? I don't know, but this is like crazy to me. Imagine it was like Ringo George.
But like Jorge Mario Bergoglio and he's Pope Francis. That was my uncle's like first and middle name too. Jorge Mario? Jorge Mario. List of popes. Bro, they all got the same fucking name. Like this is ridiculous. Well, I think they choose like when they get confirmed. Like, you know how like when you were confirmed, you became like, you know, like, I don't know. What was your pope name? My confirmation name was Nicholas. Okay. Yeah. You could be like Nicholas John or like Nicholas Luke.
Damn, I'm saying if we have a Pope Luke, that guy's going to be out there just like fucking hot as... We need a hot Pope. Enough with these old bastards. Yeah, like a George Clooney age. Some salt and pepper. If the Pope walks out and it's Jon Hamm, you're not going to convert immediately? Yeah, dude. Listen, they know what they're doing with the names and the titles. They're like Archdiocese. The last one's name was Joseph Ratzinger.
Yeah, there was some... Yeah, I'm sure there was. There was some stuff there. This guy's name, the other John Paul, his name was Carol!
They need good stage names. Albino Luciani. That's the most fire fucking name ever, and you changed it to fucking John Paul I. No one wants to hear from Thomas Maypother. They want to hear from Tom Cruise. You know what I'm saying? Is that his name? Yeah, Maypother. That sucks. Albino Luciani. Bro, that sounds like a hitman for the mafia. Well, there's some stuff there, too. I mean, you know. Holy shit, this guy's got the longest name ever. This is St. Paul VI.
Who's the saint? Wait, there are saints now and shit? I don't know. But it says Giovanni Battista Enrico Antonio Maria Motini.
That's his whole name. That shit sounds like an expensive specials pasta. I was going to say, that's a menu. Giovanni Battista Enrico Antonio Maria Mortini. That's kind of fire. That sounds like a martini. Yeah, but he apparently, one of his cardinals wrote a book about sensuality and shit. And people are like, oh, it's perverted. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's just like, listen, guys, it's a gift from God that you can come.
Yeah. And he didn't say it like that. Exactly. But like, does this now confirm the longstanding question that we've all had? Does the Pope jerk off? He has to. Right? He has to. But I think he said it like, I think in the article it said like, you need to practice like patience and something like that. So like, is also now next question, is the Pope edging? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? Edging? I mean, no, I know what it is, but like, I like. Oh, you know what that is? Yeah.
Fucking edgelord boy over here. I'm not edgelord boy. What the fuck are you saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you know that the popes have mottos, by the way? Because I'm on Wikipedia right now. I was looking up the names, but they have mottos. They better be sick. It better be like, for once, for Christ, for all, or something like that. I don't want to hear the light of the Lord. I want to hear some dope shit. Well, it's weird that they all have... If you can tell it to me, and I couldn't be able to tell you if it was a DMX song or if it was the saying for the pope, that's cool.
The current Pope, his is, it's because it's in Latin. It's in Latin, okay. And then it's translated to English. So it's miserando. Never mind. You know what? I'm not going to say these words. Who are you offending? The Latins? Joey, they're dead. It's a dead language. You're fine. It's A-T-Q-U-E. How would you even? A-T-Q-U-E. Atque. I guess. And then elegendo. It means lowly but chosen.
Kind of fire. Definitely sounds like it could be a DMX song. Yeah, I guess. What were the other ones? This one is Totas Tus, which is totally yours. That is, sounds like... Total yours? Totally yours. That's kind of cute. This one is... Oh, this is Giovanni Battista and Rigo Antonio Maria Maltini. He said, come, spelled like come. But... Come, like... Wait, wait, wait. Spelled like which one? Come. Come.
see you when that's come come to me um like cum laude yeah so it says come ipso in monte which means damn you're coming in monte dog with him on the mount mount mount brother mount what are you doing like mountain like on the pinnacle of love like mount olympus mount everest i guess with him on the mount yeah
Damn, that could be considered like a little questionable though. People have some interesting ones. The peace of Christ in the kingdom of Christ. That's too on the nose. Redundant and repetitive. That seems too on the nose. Boring. It needs to be something that like I'm telling you, if like a hip hop artist or a rapper used it, which sounds sick.
Benedict, this one's from 1914. In thee, O Lord, have I trusted. Let me not be confounded forevermore. I don't know what that means, but evermore is a cool word. That's too much of a motto, man. Too mouthy. It's too long. Too mouthy. Too mouthy. Shorten it up. Come on. What are you doing, Popes?
That was back then though. They like long-form content, but that's way too long. That was 1914. Do you think now there are a bunch of like people that like follow the Pope that are just like, oh, he said it's good and like just like fucking cranky. He did say though, he advises against pornography. So you're a sinner. You're a porn Joe. I haven't watched porn in a while. Good for you, brother. Yeah, brother. I...
What are we talking about? The Pope. So what did he say that like, it's okay to yank your crank? Oh, well now you need me to pull up the exact, like what he said from the sermon. Yeah. But, uh, you know, why would this come up again? So, uh, continuing a streak of unusually cool stuff. The Pope decided to let the world know that he believes sexual pleasure is a gift from God. Say that. How does he know though? He's never had sex.
But I'm sure he's just like, you know, like window shopping a little bit. Like, he's like, yo, hit that up. That shouldn't be sick, brother. Do you think any of the Pope's friends... Get that ushk. Do you think any of the Pope's friends are ever like, yo, you fucking virgin? All that. 100%. Like, if I was boys with the Pope, I'd be texting him like, yo, you don't even know what vagina's like. Just like, dude, yeah, life is tough. Just fucking go out there and feel a titty. Yeah. You know?
Wait, I guess that you know, I don't mean to speak ill of El Papa But like have you think he's ever even like seen they got a scene nude pictures all over the place There's like statues and stuff. Yeah, probably seen more statues tits than like actual women's He was quick to follow up with recommendation that it that self-pleasure be quote disciplined with patience Yeah, that's edging. That's edging edging 100% right? Yeah. He's just like go for it. But I
Yeah, like, but don't, but like, make it last all night. In the same Vatican address, part of the series of sermons on vices and virtues, Pope Francis warned against pornography, which he said leads to satisfaction without relationship and could also result in addiction. He's not wrong. I mean, yeah. There is porn addiction. A thousand percent. There's also sex addiction, though.
Yeah, but I think it's like, wait, is he saying without relationships? So like if you just pretend you're in a relationship with the porn that you're watching. If you make your own porn and then watch that porn. Is that porn? That's a great question. That is a great question, honestly. Or is it just a lovemaking memory? It's like a family video. What would you do?
No. Okay. All right. I already know what you're going to say. No, not going. Because it's funny because we were just watching our home videos the other day. Oh, and like. So like, imagine it's just like cut and it's like my mom. Like back then cameras were so big. Like you wouldn't be able to like, you know, get that, get that working. I mean, you could set it up.
It's too big, though. That's a lot, man. My mom's... I vividly remember my mother's video camera. Same. It was massive, and it came in like a gun case. Like, it looked like a sniper rifle. Yeah, I remember it, too, honestly. And you had to pull it out and put it on your fucking... It had a pad to put on your shoulder. That's how big it was. Yeah, those things were quite big. And you put a whole, like, VHS tape in it. Yeah, and it's just like, oh, it's done. Let me put a... It's like loading a fucking rifle. It's like...
There you go, folks. You don't have a future in that, I will say. What's that job? Beatboxing. No, you fucking... Beatboxing isn't a job. Is it a job? Of course it's a job. You don't think people get paid to beatbox? Who? Beatboxers. But where do they box? Biz Markie. He's a rapper. He's also a dead. Yeah, he is. He was. Newly, freshly. No.
Years like two years three years right that's pretty fresh it up. Hey Siri. No, I don't have that. No you don't Oh, I thought that of Siri on all of my shit. Really? I don't know why watch this anyone watching Hey Siri, when did biz Marquis die? See if it works Let's see if someone's house if it's always house Alexa look up biz Marquis autopsy photos. Oh Okay, well I have more ads here that I have to get to the first one being I
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That was very sweet. You're very good. Yeah. You're so good. Okay. What hat is that, by the way? What is that, a clam? Oh, it's a lobster. It's a crab. It's the Jersey Shore Blue Claws, the minor league affiliate for the Philadelphia Phillies. That's a cool logo. Yeah. And it's their old one, too. Is it a crab? Yeah, it's a blue claw crab. Blue claw crab.
Yeah. Have you never seen? Oh, I saw a video of a blue crab once. Yeah. They're called blue claws. And they're blue, right? They're blue. That's crazy. And you cook them and they're not. They're white. But then you cook, but raw...
Are you a crab? I love crab King crab? You love eating crab I'm a whore for crab You are a fucking big fat piece of whore Bring it in I'm fucking dogging it Dumping it in fucking butter And then just You should do that
You want to know something? For New Year's, I looked at getting, because, you know, we were small. It was just myself, you know, the kids, Becca, and my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and my in-laws. And I was like, oh, like, maybe I'll just get, like, you know, a couple pounds of king crab to have, like, a fish spread, you know? Bro? 800 bucks. They go, oh, we can only sell it in boxes of 10 pounds.
So I'm thinking, I'm like, all right, if this guy, and he goes, I can give you a deal on it. Cause like normal King crab was like $40 a pound. And he's like, it will be a couple extra bucks for the colossal, which is what I wanted. He's like, but nothing crazy. And they only do 10 pound boxes. So I'm like, all right, see if he can make me, you know, again, Tony Soprano came out. I was like, you know, see if he can make me a deal. Give me a deal, you know? And he goes, uh, yeah, it's $60 a pound.
I was like, that's a couple dollars extra. And he's like, yeah, I wasn't able to. And he's like, and you'd have to get a 10 pound box. I was like 600 bucks. No, thanks dude. Dude. 10 pounds of crab. Who the fuck is eating that? Bro. I got it for like a party of like 20 people once. And we did, we had a lot left over.
10 pounds? Yes. Years ago, when it was like $25 a pound, we got it for like a party when Becca's brother came from Oregon. And we were like, you know what? Fuck it. It's a party. Like, let's go for it. 10 pounds. We couldn't, we, like 12 adults couldn't finish the whole thing. And like several children. I mean, that's a lot of fucking crap. But I'm a big meat guy. Like-
I can eat a lot, you know? Yeah. I'm hungry right now. Damn, I'm getting hungry talking about this shit. I would love to have some crab right now. I had some crab last night. I told you that. Did you? Yeah, Jonah crab. Oh, the Jonah crab. Yeah, yeah. But I would do that. You know what I want to do? I want to go to like the South and go to like a shit where they just put like everything on the table. Crab boil? And you just throw the shit in the middle, like that type of shit. Oh, yeah. But I have to figure out if I'm allergic to crawfish or not.
Well, yeah, you can't have shrimp. Well, I don't even, like, I gotta test that. I wish I can, like... You have on several occasions and you get itchy. I had once. You've only had shrimp once? Yeah. Did you get itchy?
I think. What do you mean you think? Did you get itchy or did you not get itchy? I don't know. I was like, I was already nervous about eating it. So I was like, this is really before I like really branched down to eating foods. Like now. I remember we'd go to Miami and Joy would be like, um, can I get a chicken tenders, please? And I'm like getting a paella.
Yeah. Remember when you guys got that paella and the guy was like, oh, that's $150. And you're like, what? Yeah. The guy goes like, we have a deal. You can get two drinks for free if you get this paella. And it's like a super great deal today. And Eric and I were both like, yeah, that can't be that bad. Like, what was it going to be like 70 bucks? You know, double. Yeah. Double and then some. That was fun. But I...
Yeah, I mean, as far as eating 10 pounds of crab, that's something I'd be interested in. Go home tonight and have a little baby. Get some sushi, get some skoosh, skoosh it up, and get a shrimp tempura roll. I just can't. I'm just afraid of like, okay, now I'm itchy. Now what do I do? Benadryl. Yeah. But then why am I going to sign myself up for an electric re-enactment? To figure out if you can eat it.
Is shrimp even worth it? Yeah. A big old fat cold shrimp cocktail and you fucking let it swim in some cocktail sauce? Cocktail sauce is great. Oh, yeah. Do it. Might as well. What do you got to lose? Where do you rank shrimp on the scale of shrimp? Well, I need to know what's on the board.
Fucking fish stuff. All fish? Yeah. All right. Seafood. That's what I meant by fish stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crabs at the top for me. Crab is number one. Especially king crab. But like these like little baby crab, like snow crabs. Get that the fuck away from me. Have you ever had, what's that called?
Soft-shell crab where you just eat the crab. Yes. I've done that. Yeah, I like it I like biting into a crab. It makes me feel like a shark. Yes. Oh my god. I feel like such a like a eating shell It's like no, it's alright. Don't worry about it. It's good. There's gotta be something I think I once took like a like a supplement for like my stomach and it was like ground-up crab like shell. Yeah Crab is number one. Yeah, honestly Tuna might be number two
But like I'm talking to like a tartar or a seared ahi tuna. Okay. It's up there. Like not tuna fish. Not like fucking canned tuna. Yeah, that's disgusting. I mean, it's not disgusting, but like it. No, it's disgusting. I'm not putting it up there. Not at all. I like regular tuna, like red. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like buttery tuna. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Salmon. I eat so much tuna in fucking Portugal, dude. Dude, love it. Tuna steak? I'm going to get... He's like, steak. I'm going to get... I got a tuna guy. He'll give us like... You got a tuna guy? I got a tuna guy. Where'd you find a tuna guy? I'm not going to explain who he is. Oh, he's an underground tuna guy. No, no, no. He's a... Above ground? Well, technically, I got to be careful. Oh, he's on the sea. I got to be careful. I got a tuna guy.
Wait, how do you be careful? It's tuna. No, there's like laws and stuff about like giving away tuna. Like he gives it to us. He can't legally sell it. Oh, he's an illegal tuna guy. Kind of a little bit, maybe. Okay. Something like prohibition tuna. Bro? Yeah. Will bring us like 20 pounds of fresh, like cut, like 10 seconds ago tuna. 20 pounds? How do you guys shop over there? Pounds? 10?
10 pounds of crab, 20 pounds of tuna. Where are you putting this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We cook a lot of it. We'll cut some up. We'll make some little like tuna bites for like the kids. You know, bread them. Oh, dude. You make a little like sashimi or something? I got a tuna guy. Miles makes tuna rolls. He makes sushi. Yeah, this kid can do it all. Damn, dude. You got seaweed in that house? Sometimes. I like seaweed. Isn't that how you eat? Seaweed chips? No, I meant like for rolling.
We have in the past. We don't like keep it on hand all the time. I was asking. I don't know. Yeah. So where do you put 10, put 20 pounds of tuna? Eat some of it. You put some in the freezer, you know, you give some away. Oh, you want a fat tuna? Cause making a tuna steak. Well, he brings it to us like this and this, like he brings the- How much is that 20 pounds of tuna, bro? Bread. It's that thick meat. How much is it? Oh, tuna is like 35, $40 a pound.
He gives you 20 pounds of that? He gives us a lot. That's a lot of fucking tuna. He gives us a lot of tuna. That's too much tuna. It is a little bit. We told him one summer he brought us like several fish at once. He was like, by the way, I got tuna, I got mahi, I got squid. This guy's like a drug dealer, but with fish. Well, I guess so. That's crazy. Food, food, food, man. You know? Why are you just saying food? Yeah, you know. Yeah.
He came home one day and he gave us a bucket of crab, blue shell crab, blue claw crab. Are they just blue crabs? And they're just living in, they're alive. I would be hyped. I would probably try to make one a pet, to be honest. What do crabs eat? Other animals, I think. So I gotta like feed them fish? Yeah, you gotta feed them like goldfish and stuff. Do people domesticate crabs? I'm sure you can. Why not? I mean, you could domesticate anything, technically. Like an emotional support lobster or something? Yeah. Lobsters are cool.
Lobsters are mad cool. But honestly, not my top five of seafood. If it's a bisque, Opa. Opa. But not like cooked. Like these people that are just like, they bring out like a whole fucking tuna. And it's just like, and they're like, I'm not a tuna. A lobster? And they're just like, oh, this is a delicacy. No, not for me. I'd rather it be a part of the lobster's body. That to me is better than like just eating...
Although I did have a lobster tail and it was ridiculous. Fat? And they like covered it in butter, obviously. Yeah, but like honestly, I would prefer crab over lobster any fucking day. Easily. By the way, again, several things we wanted to talk about today. Not getting to that. We literally got to oomph. Yeah. One of them. It happens. What are you going to do? It happens. That's the basement yard. Yeah. That's what you signed up for. We have a show in two days, so we're warming up right now. Oh yeah, we got to kind of work something. Maybe we can bring some of these to the show or something. Maybe. Maybe.
Probably not. Read my computer, guys. What is that? This just says... Why is Greg naked on your computer? Look at your stupid face when you said that. Your little Popeye laugh. By the time they see this, it'll be over. But New Haven, we're coming for you. Yeah, we are. We're coming. Yeah. It's going to be a good time. A lot of our friends are going to be there. You announce when you're finishing? Announce. It's like, oh, I'm going to... Yeah. Yeah.
It's a courtesy warning. My lady, you know, just like be prepared. I am going to arrive any second now. God, I love this show. Do you not? God, I love it. You don't? You're just like, it's a shock. Don't worry about what I do. That's between myself and my wife. I mean, you're asking me. Well, yeah, you answered. So who's the joke?
You just called me a joke. Son of a bench. Listen, folks. Also, give me your top three of the seafoods real quick. Crab. Crab. Tuna. Tuna. Salmon's up there. I love salmon, dude. I'll raw dog it. I'll fucking cook raw dog it. There's a guy on TikTok.
I believe his account is the sushi guy. Now I got to get sushi tonight, by the way. But yeah, I'm probably going to do it too. But there's a guy, I think his name is a sushi guy and he has like such a calming voice. And he's like, today we're going to go to Costco and we're going to try sushi. And he like goes and he's like, we're going to give it the smell test. And then he like smells it. Yeah. And then he like cuts it up and he makes like, I don't know how to say all the words, but there's like different ways of eating. Like tuna, like sometimes it's like, he just makes like a sushi roll out of it. Then some other shit. Then he just eats like a piece raw. Um,
And like sometimes he cooks them or whatever, but sometimes he like gets tuna from Costco and he's like, this is great tuna. I'm not, I'm salmon. Great. Yeah. Dude, salmon. Oh my God. Raw salmon. It's like butter. Legitimately like butter. Let me, or before we end on the show, you're say like, you are like super pumped for like some fucking tuna. And then it comes out on like boobies and stuff.
What? You've never seen that in movies where it'll be like, we got a tuna spread. Oh, like a naked Japanese woman. Yeah, and it's like a naked person on a table and there's like a fucking salmon roll on her ding dong. There's fucking, you know, like tuna rolls on her nipples. Yeah. Kind of don't want that. I mean, I would eat a tuna roll off a nipple quicker than I would eat a... A nipple I know.
Yeah. I'm not a fucking random nipple coming in. I don't want that. You don't know where that nipple been. Well, if I'm eating off of a naked Japanese woman, I'm assuming at some point. It could not be Japanese woman. It could be a Japanese food. It could be an American woman, any race. Whatever. Whoever it is, I'm picturing Japanese in my fantasy, all right? Not that it's a fantasy. I'm just saying. Hold on. Wait, whoa, whoa. We're discovering something here. My thoughts, I mean. But, you know, I'm assuming I'm at some like Illuminati meeting where I can't go, I'm good.
I don't, that doesn't sound appealing to me in the slightest. Yeah. I don't want to eat my food off of a body either. Dude. Like I'm bro. If Becca comes out and she's like, here are the nipples. I'm all about it. But she's like here on my top of my nipples. I'm like, can we just do two separate things? Like, wait, I don't understand what you just said. Like if she's like, I have, you want sushi? Here's sushi on my nipples. Okay. I'd be like, you can, you can do it separate dishes. You know, I like to, I like to, when I get a plate of food, I like to make my food not touch.
Okay. You know? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think that's everybody. Damn, I'm talking about the mother of my children's nipples here. Their nipples. It's all right. Their nipples. Their nipples. Wait, did you say that? Oh, so if she did that, you'd be like, don't. I'd be like, I'd be like about it, but then I'd be like, next time we can just get sushi. Well, she was trying to have fun. I know, and I'm about fun. Clearly not. Don't. She was trying to have fun, and you were just like, oh. I'm all about fun. I'm all about fun. I'm a fun guy. I'm 100% fun. Oh.
What? I'm coming from Mr. Fucking... Fun. You're not fun. You're not fun, you bitch. You're not fun. You don't have 30 pounds of seafood in your freezer. You're not fun, dude. All right. Well, let's get out of here. We have a show to do. We have to get on the road tomorrow. Frank, where can they find you? At Alvarez85 on Twitter. Frank Alvarez on all forms of social media. Go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com. Patreon.com. And then go follow the basement at all forms of social media.
Yeah, go follow The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. Go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go hit that Patreon, patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. We are currently ranked the 12th biggest Patreon on the entire site. And eight for podcasts. And eight for podcasts.
Insane. And it's still going up. We appreciate you guys so much. It's fucking crazy. But thank you guys so much. And if you're, I mean, I guess this is coming out afterwards, but see you in New Haven. Also, we'll see you in Medford, Massachusetts. Also, maybe we'll see you if we announce more shows. Yeah, I mean, we are going to announce more shows. So we will see you out there. All right. Thank you guys so much for the support. We love you guys. Thank you so much. See you next time.