#427 - Shxt N Gigs Are HERE!
01:10:55 Share

Welcome back to the Basement Yard Patreon. Today we have some guests. We're not recording in the studio obviously but we have... A little dippy diff. Yeah, we have the Shits and Gigs podcast. We have James and Fuhad. Everyone's been asking for this collab so we appreciate you guys making the trip all the way over here just to do it. You're doing it. You fly over. You're welcome. There's going to be a lot of that going on. I can tell. You roll your eye. Yeah.

They flew in this morning. They're leaving tonight. They came here just for this and that's just what it is. Yeah, big business show flew you guys out on his private. That was super generous by the way. Thank you by the way. No problem. Love the private chef in there as well. It's coming out of Frank's tab so it's totally fine. Thank you. Don't worry. My kids won't eat for a month. That was your decision. What? That was your decision. Yeah. Don't you two.

Just saying. Listen. Is baby food expensive? I don't imagine that it is. It's just mashed up. It's not not expensive. I mean, you have multiple nieces and nephews. I don't feed them. You see this, right? Why would I feed them? Why would you feed your loving, caring uncle? Wait, have you changed a diaper in your life? Uh-huh. Oh, shit. Let's go, man. That backfired real quick. I was like, right? Right?

Whose diaper? Fuhad's? Yes, actually. Oh, that's a good question. Would you change his diaper if he... If he, like, just lost feeling? Waist down? If I was a paraplegic... No, you still have feelings. Because that's when it's kind of like... Not emotional feelings. You need help, but like... Honestly, I didn't even think about that. You just thought if he reversed... People who are, like, paralyzed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just happens.

Well, they have like catheters and stuff, so they kind of... Oh, okay. Colostomy bags, I think they have, so like there's less of a mess. Oh, yeah. Makes sense. I feel like I should know that. Would I change your... We call it nappies. Nappies, yeah. Like just the once or just like regularly? After every time you record, it's like, dude, daddy did a boom boom. I did a boom boom. Daddy did a boom boom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I would, but I would also like...

abuse him physically. Pause? What? Yeah, like, I'll change your... I would, like, depending on your mood. Like, if you take the piss out of me, if I'm doing it, and I'm just like... And you're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get in there. Then I would do little things to, like... I'd probably, like, flick you on the head and, like... What head? Whoa, you're changing his diaper! Come on! Inappropriate! Come on, bro. Honestly? He's just...

Come on, man. Would you change his diaper? If I had a hazmat suit, yeah. A hazmat suit? Yeah, yeah. That's good. Gloves? Yeah, I would. Scrubbing like a doctor? Oh, my God. I don't know why I asked. I don't want to think about it. What if I said to you, I swear to God I'm not doing this podcast anymore if you don't do it properly? Like, no hazmat. Wait.

He could do it properly with a hazmat suit. Nah, nah, nah. You're making me feel like a science project and I don't like it. Treat me like a human being and do it. I am treating you like a human being, but my sanity is also part and parcel of this transaction. I don't know if that's as valuable as my guy shitting his pants, you know? Don't get me wrong. That's why I'm helping him out doing it on a daily basis. At the end of the day, he made a mistake by shitting his pants. He did the boom boom. Exactly. So, I mean...

Is that what you call it in your house? No, we don't. Why do you keep saying it? I don't know. Where's it coming from? In my house, we just call it crap. So like, my daughter will come up to me, she'll be like, Daddy, I crapped. She is not saying that. I wish. That would be so sick. I thought that was real. That would be so, so sick. Your daughter's like, yo, I shit. I shitted on myself. She's got a cigarette in her hand, she's like, I just fucking shit. Get to it, bro.

It's like, ew. So, I mean, this was, we talked before the camera started rolling and you guys, this is your first time in New York. Give me the, like, what do you think so far? It's, dude,

- One thing I've noticed- - I thought that was like slang. - I was like, "It's dude." I was like, "Oh yeah." - Yeah, cool. - Like that. - An agreement, of course, and I took it. - You were like, "Yeah, it is." I'm gonna start saying that. - One thing I'll say is your homeless aren't very gentlemanly. - What the fuck? - Do they have a monocle and top hat by you guys? It's like, "Please, sir." - They literally do, dude. They have a hat there. - They do have a fucking hat though. - And they go like this. - "Would you open up your mind?" You know? - Shit.

I'll over twist. It's like, please, sir, like another shilling. Yeah, bro. They're like very humble and quiet. And then you like, if you ignore them, they're like, God bless you. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Really? Oh, shit. You guys are just like singing and screaming. Yeah.

- Yeah. - Performing acts, everything. - Their bare foot is in your face. - Shitting on the floor. - Yeah, they take shits on the floor and stuff. - Oh, I mean, where are you gonna shit, you know? - In your own pants. - That's their house. - But then they don't have each other. - Exactly, that's the thing that's fucked up. - Have you guys rode the subway? - Nope. - Good, don't. - Why? The subway's not that bad.

- When was the last time you rode the subway? - I can guarantee, I've been living in another state for years, but I can guarantee I've been on the subway sooner than you have. - You didn't answer his question. - Incorrect. I would say honestly, honestly. - You didn't answer his question. - 2020, 2019. - That's a long time ago. - Four years ago. - Yeah, I haven't lived in the state for five years. - He's doing that thing again. - Deflecting. - He's doing that thing again. - Don't, don't, don't, don't you point at me! Don't point at me! - Why are you deflecting? - What about you? When was the last time you rode the subway?

I don't know. Yeah, there it is. See? I told you. I'll tell you what, though. Speaking of the homeless people on the subway, hello. There was one time there was a lady who was like, you remember the lady under the train? Yeah. I'm under the train. Yeah, yeah. Well, like, the train's elevated. She's not, like, living in the sewer. Okay. Although she did...

What she smelt like the sewer. She did. But like, and it's okay to say that because she's not actually homeless. I think she just likes, she's like appropriating homeless gold. Yeah. My understanding. I think, yeah, I think she has like, she has a house money. Yeah. But there was one time that I was, we were going to the cities. We were taking the subway and, uh, she was like, Hey, have a good time. And I was like, Oh, thanks. And I just kept walking and she goes, no. And I turned around. I was like, what? And she goes, have a good time or I'm going to fuck you up. Whoa.

So I turned around to my friends. I was like, yeah, we better have fucking fun. I was like, because when we get back, this bitch is going to kill me. The first drink was in honor of the cat woman underneath the fucking train. Yeah. But she's a good lady, though. She's got her problems. Did you, like, purposefully avoid the subway? 100%. Yeah. Megan asked us, do you want to take the subway? Yeah, she said, do you want to take the subway? And we, like, obviously said no. Yeah, no. So what, did you just hop in an Uber, which is somehow way worse than getting on the subway to me? Definitely.

- Really? - Yeah. - Why? - The traffic is misery. - Dude, I'll take the traffic. - I'd rather take the traffic. - Our Ubers have been real short since we've been here. Like five minutes, 10 minutes. - 15 max. - Yeah, yeah, it's pretty chill. - We could just walk at that point. - We went on a nice walk yesterday. Yeah, it was cool. - Can you hold hands?

We skipped across the- Oh, I saw that on your Instagram story! I like that, I like that. Do you guys do that? I haven't skipped in years. You've tried so hard to skip or tried so hard to get him to skip with you? Answer the question! Which one? Yes.

Yeah, wait you like you skip dude. I can I can crush a skip I had you know why I had to be good at skipping because I don't know if you guys were like this But someone in this room was mr.. Fucking gym class hero growing up. I'm not gonna point fingers, but like definitely him and and During like I mean by gym class hero during like our you would brawl I

Our gym teacher was like so hype and horny for you, dude. It was like when they needed to like figure out like how to shoot a basketball, it was like, Joey, come here. And Joey was always like, but we would have field day, which was like, oh, it was like a relay race, you know, and I was never the fastest, but I was a great skipper.

I was a great skipper and he was like taking off, like, you know, running, like, you know, like these running hands and everything. So I had to get good at it. It was out of necessity. Wait. So in your field days, we call it sports days. Yeah. That was a competition. That makes way more sense. Oh, a hundred percent. No, they had like a bunch of different things. So there was like the softball throw, a regular, like a relay race. Then there was like a three-legged race. There was a skipping thing. Cause it's like from the ages of...

I think it's first grade to fifth grade. It's like, that's when I was just like hopscotch and shit. Right. Yeah. And you really good at skipping. Yeah. Did you get a blue ribbon? Everyone got a blue ribbon because it was the participation. No. Which one was the participation? I don't know, but the blue was first place. Whatever it was. I got it. I was a good skipper. Good for you, dude. That's crazy. But yeah, we skipped, we skipped yesterday. That was fun. That was fun. Uh,

Is it like riding a bike because I haven't done in the years and I'm worried it did feel kind of natural It was it was very simultaneous. Oh, yeah, we did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we were skipping in unison. Yeah, it was sick unplanned Sometimes that's insane. I have to say so we've never been to Europe Well, I shouldn't say you're you've been to Europe. I've never been here but like UK London. Mm-hmm

I, we often, our thing is like, we just kind of assume things and we believe them to be true. So now that we're talking about skipping, I assume there's a lot of skipping going on in like London. Like that's how people get from like one flat to another, you know?

Like they're just like, like they can't like, it's like they can't walk. So they got to go like gingerly. So they skip their way. How accurate am I? Entirely inaccurate. Yeah. London's pretty brutal, man. You guys are much more like fairy-ish here. Yeah. Everyone's like super polite. What was that? Like, yeah, like I've noticed. That's a very clean way of saying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's really, really well-mannered here, aren't they? And you know what I've noticed? Everyone says you're welcome. We don't say that.

Like if someone, if someone, if you hold, if I hold the door, we say cheers, but yeah, if someone holds the door, you say thanks. And the other person, I don't really throw your welcomes out there too often. I only, I only say you're welcome if I'm trying to be a fucking asshole.

You're welcome. But if there's no thank you when there should have been a thank you, I'm like, okay, you're welcome. Fucking Jesus. You know, but I don't... If someone says thank you, I'm not like, oh, you're welcome. Wait, that's interesting that you say that. So you just ignore them? No, I just...

Yeah, no, that's what we do. I kind of just like, you know, like my eyebrow goes up or something. I don't know. You give the nod like that. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. I threw a thumbs up at a guy the other day. I'm a big. I literally turned around. I was like, what am I doing? I'm a big thumbs up or in the car. You got to do this. This means everything in the car. I did it. Thank you. Stop. Go ahead. You know, like everything. What is this steering wheel? Just two fingers. Just.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. While you're still on it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. I did a pinky one the other day. You never humiliated. Pinky? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you,

Someone let me go and they gave it to me and I was... That was the other car that would just crash into you. I'd be like, pinkie? The fuck? What is he trying to say? It's like the thing, remember in elementary school they'd be like, oh, that's the Chinese... Middle finger. Middle finger. Don't do that. You know? So, like, you're, like, inadvertently just, like, flipping people off. Damn, is that just an American thing? They're like, yo, this is the Chinese middle finger. You ever hear that? The pinky is the Chinese middle finger. Yeah. Is it actually? Or is that still a rumor? Probably not. I have probably no idea.

But I'm going to believe it's true. Yeah, because we have no desire to look up the accuracy of it. Not really. Fair enough. That's kind of what we do. It's the American way. Just say things and believe them. Yeah, say less. That's right. Live in your bubble, yeah. Back to what you were saying. That's interesting because a lot of people think New Yorkers are like super fucking abrasive. Like, I don't know if you saw, like, there are like,

The gift shops sell shirts that are like, fuck you, you fucking fuck. There's this idea that New Yorkers are like, yo, I'm walking here. I'm walking here. I always tell people New Yorkers are not abrasive. They're just always on the way to the most important thing ever. That's what London's like, though. London is very, very fast-paced, and there's not a lot of common courtesy in London.

Especially like central London. Cause it's so compact like New York and everyone's busy. So yeah, like get the fuck out my way, you know, when I'm walking. - Yeah man. But we don't really talk about it though, do we? - No. - I can't imagine someone saying I'm walking here. I'm walking here.

I can see that. Fuck. I can see you walking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine that they have like a substitute. So they just be like, oh, we are. That would sound like a pirate. The fuck was that? Well, who do you think were pirates, dude? The British man. Were they? I'm pretty sure. Were they? Maybe. The Spanish. Spanish. Definitely. Portuguese props. Yeah. Your people, dude.

He went to Portugal recently, so now they're not his people. Definitely not Portuguese, so I don't know what you're talking about. Your people, dude. So, Joey often talks about... Here we go. This is made up. Whatever you're about to say is made up. Oh, I was going to say how much he respects you guys. Oh, now he's making this up. Oh, wow. What were you going to say? So you don't? We, like...

He's done it. We always joke about it and say, like, the British are dumb. First of all, no, we don't. We've said that before. No, here's what happens on the show. You say shit, and then I'm sitting across from you, and I get blamed for shit. It's true. And this all started because it's just out of spite. Because there was one time we talked about the royal wedding, and my God, the people in England let us have it that day. They were not happy. What did you say about the royal wedding? We were just like, this is kind of... What the fuck did you say, bro?

exactly did you say about the royal wedding i don't really remember yeah but i think that we were just kind of like this is such a huge thing and like what i why i think we were saying like why yeah we were like why is everyone going like there's like a whole event there's a bunch of people there and then there's like they fly celebrities out to do like commentating they're commentating on like and they have to get like they got to get like trained in order to like walk a certain way and talk a certain way and like

How do you guys feel about the royal family? Oh, we don't give a shit. We don't care. Yeah, we couldn't care less. Personally, we couldn't care less. I noticed as well, with the, it's the same when the queen had her jubilee as well. Believe it or not, most of the people there are like Americans. Americans actually care more about the royal family than we do. Honestly, that makes so much fucking sense. Oh my God, that's why I hate our country. Whenever they're like interviewing people on the street for the royal wedding and all that, they're always American. They're never English.

- Unless it's like a really, really old lady. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's dressed like in a Sunday best. - Either really old lady or like a 45 year old African man in a kitted out Jubilee outfit. Like the blue, white, like cross hatch everything. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Hats, the works. - Loves the queen? - He just loves being in the country.

He's just grateful. He's grateful he's here and he wants to say his peace and thanks. Yeah. Just in case you guys are watching, I love it here. I love it here. Literally. If you want to deport people, it's not me. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he's trying to say.

Got it, okay. Yeah, we didn't know because like Joe said we like everyone's like shut the fuck up. I don't know what's about they were pissed We were just like oh, you know, okay, you know, so just like we have no idea what's going on We're like, what does she do? What do they do? They're just like in the house. Are they doing now? It's the king and his sausage fingers like what his fingers are crazy wild fingers crazy wild Yeah, maybe it's been a year. I don't know. How long has it been?

I don't know. You know what we're looking at you. Wait, were the... Megan, you know. Yeah, I don't know. The Queen Dad, when was that? I think it was last summer. I think it was like last summer. So like...

What what what does the crown do? Nothing they just get paid like the king just upped his salary, right? Mm-hmm. Well, I mean, thank God, you know, like I feel like I deserve a raise I just got here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. It's like 75 million people hate on him But if I was the king I would do literally the exact same. Yeah, I'll be the sickest king of all time What would be your first thing that you do good question first mandate first Monday first mandate. Oh

What would be my first mandate? Four day weeks? Four day work weeks? - Honestly, I love that. - I like that a lot. - There's a lot of studies that say that's a good thing. - Yeah, it was like- - They tried that recently. - They did. - They retried that recently. - There's a country that does that. - No. Well, yeah. Did we invent that? - They tried it in some places. - I love how all of us are talking about like a work week.

- Man. - She's like four days. - Really getting after it. - What the fuck are you talking about? - I'm pretty sure in the UK they tried that, right? - They tried it, yeah. - Like a hundred companies or something tried it and it worked and they're gonna keep it. Four day week. - I mean, if the science is there and like fucking why the fuck not? - Yeah. If I was king, first thing I would do is probably legalize weed.

Oh, is it still is it still illegal? We also don't have the whole decriminalized thing. It's illegal. It's either illegal or it's not. I don't even know what the fuck that is. What does that mean? Decriminalization means like to a certain point, you can't get in like serious trouble. Like it's so like it's a convoluted thing. But like you can go to prison for a long time with a certain amount of weed in the United States. And then they were like, all right.

You get a slap on the wrist sometimes. Yeah, but if you decriminalize something, then, like, it's...

No, because then it's not, you know, if you get arrested for a felony, it's on your criminal record. Oh, okay. If it's a decriminalized something, like, I don't think it can follow you. Like, it can get expunged after, you know, five years if you don't get arrested or whatever. A lot of legal lingo being thrown around right here. A lot of jargon, honestly. Good for you. So, just complete, so it's still illegal over there? It is. Yeah. How is it being in New York? Do we eat? Yeah.

I smell it everywhere, but I'm not done with it. Yeah, it stinks. Do you smell the piss? Because we have a lot of that, too. What did we smell earlier on the way to the taco place? Just nonsense. Yeah. You don't really know. That's part of the allure of New York. You walk around, you're like, I've never smelled that before. What is that? I hadn't smelled it before. And it's either pee-pee, poo-poo. Or a mixture of both. Or blood in there, probably. Yeah, probably. What's the steam that comes out of the sewers? No one knows. No one knows what that is? Did you hear the steam that comes out of the...

It's like a no, like don't ask, don't tell kind of thing. It's just like, well, that's coming out of the ground and that's just what it's going to do. Yeah. And like, did you see, I don't know if you saw any of them, but like when they do road work, they have the big orange cones that are just bellowing steam. No one knows. It's kind of cool. Not one bit. I like steam. I don't know about you guys. Steam's pretty cool. Steam, fog, those types of stuff. They're pretty hot. Any sort of smoky thing. They're pretty hot though.

What is? Steam. Steam will burn you worse than boiling water. Steam will fuck you up. Is that true? It's hotter than boiling water. Is it? Wait, is everyone... I actually don't know that. I will take the panel. Why is she laughing so hard? Is that like a very obvious thing because I have no idea? Yeah, because think about it. It's evaporated water. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, why wouldn't it be the same? So it will hurt more. One Direction, how do you guys feel about that? No?

If you guys can't tell, Joe didn't do much school. I didn't know it was hot. I'm not going to lie. I didn't actually know until you said it. I also didn't care. Right. Yeah. No, I don't either. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what are we going to run into like a fucking like horror movie where like a steam vent opens above your head? You're like, oh, shit. Never going to happen. True. That'd be pretty cool. I think that like you'd be fine, though. I don't know. Is it weird that I'm not afraid of steam? No, because it's not something to fear. I don't really have it.

You just said it's hotter than boiling water. I feel like I'd be afraid of that. Bro, I used to be so afraid of lava when I was younger and I live here. Oh!

Oh, my God. Same, though. I used to be like, yo, lava, bro. Crazy. If something erupts. I don't know how it was for you guys, but we were taught very specifically how to get out of quicksand in the middle of New York City through elementary school. What was the procedure? It's like, don't panic. You need to lay on your back and weight displacement and someone pull you out slowly. But they were very specific in telling us that. I learned that on Jumanji, I think.

I think it's a great movie. Honestly, there we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes down in there.

Who's the dude? The hunter. Wait, is it? No, it's what's his name falls into quicksand. Robin Williams falls into quicksand. Yeah, Alan Parrish, my guy. Come on. Alan Parrish. How do you remember that name? It's crazy. I'm a big movie person. Oh, really? Yeah, I competed in a competitive movie trivia league. Oh, my God. Really? Yeah, they like flew me out to LA and everything. Piss off. Seriously? Yeah. Jesus. Piss your pants. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Did you win? I finished my career at two and one. So I won, you know. My career? Yeah. Short-lived, but, you know, a lot of fun. Short-lived, but hey, man, you're going to finish with a winning record, you know? That sounds insane. That does sound insane. All right, before we move forward with this episode of The Basement Yard, we do have some sponsors for today. The first one being Liquid IV. Liquid IV is going to keep you hydrated, okay? They come in little packets.

And you put the powder in 16 ounces of cold water. You mix it up. You have a lovely tasting drink. And it's going to keep you hydrated. They have three times the amount of electrolytes of leading sports drinks. No artificial sweeteners and zero sugar. They contain eight vitamins and nutrients for everyday wellness. Non-GMO and free from gluten, dairy, and soy. And they're delicious, by the way. I love the lemon-lime ones, but they have strawberry. They have watermelon. They have all kinds of flavors. And all of them are good. Trust me.

literally everything I want to pad love 'em but you can grab these liquid IV hydration multipliers that are sugar-free in bulk nationwide at Costco or you get 20 percent off when you go to liquid IV dot com and use the code basement at checkout that is twenty percent off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using the promo code basement at liquid IV dot com so go get it folks like I said very easy just tear open the little packet you put in water you mix it up

tastes delicious keeps you hydrated amazing so go try go try uh some liquid iv and let me know how it is it's amazing uh next year we have hello fresh hello fresh uh you get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep it's very easy to do and you just go on the website you just pick from there

their, uh, recipes that they have and they have like a rotating cast of, you know, recipes that you could choose from. Like I said, they're seasonal and it's all pre-portioned. So you use everything that you get. There's no, you know, not

Now you have a jug of mayonnaise that you're not using. Everything's pre-portioned. You use all of it when you make the recipes. They teach you how to make it, and you can even keep that recipe and put it in a little cookbook, and now you have things to cook. The reason why I love it so much is because sometimes I have no idea what to cook. When there's new recipes constantly being added on HelloFresh, it just keeps your kitchen new.

For lack of a better word. Usually when I cook, I cook four things and that's it. But with HelloFresh, you get a lot of different stuff and it's all really good food. Like I said, Farm Fresh, it's amazing. And you can go to HelloFresh.com slash basement free and use the code basement free for free breakfast for life. Okay. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash basement free with the code basement free.

It's a whole meal. Some say the most important meal of the day. But HelloFresh.com slash Basement Free. Free breakfast for life. Again, you get one breakfast item per box while subscription is active. So free food. You might as well hop all over that. What is your favorite movie of all time? Favorite movie of all time? The Mask. Jim Carrey. I watched that recently. So good. Cameron Diaz looks insane in that movie. Oh my gosh. What happened to her? I'm pretty sure she's still a thing. Yeah, she still looks good.

I'm not disputing the fact she's beautiful. She quit acting to like, I think like spend more time with her family or something like that. Did she really? I think so. What idiot? Get that bag. You know what I'm saying? What are you doing? I think she has more money than God though.

She's a Charlie's, who's God Joey? Let's talk about that. - She's a Charlie's Angel. - She was a Charlie's Angel, right? - She was a Charlie's Angel. - Lucy Liu went through a big Lucy Liu phase in my life. - Did you? - She was hot. - What? Is that like a thing? - You don't like Lucy Liu? - I like Lucy Liu. - In the Charlie's Angels phase, yeah. - In that era.

I was like way more into like professional wrestling at that point in time. So like, he's like, I'm like, Oh, Trish Stratus. Oh shit. Lita fucking doing backflips and shit. China. Yes. Well, RIP. That's right. That too. And, and yeah, I'm not going to touch that one. All right. Well, but, uh, so I actually, uh,

by happenstance, stumbled upon something today that we wanted to kind of talk with you guys about. It's cool, man. It feels like he went out of his way for it, to be honest. Oh, no. I prepared. You bastard. Um...

So there was this website that did a poll of 10,000 British people and asked them to list their favorite and least favorite things to come out of the U.S. So I have a list of both. We'll do favorite first. And I need you guys to, like, do you agree, do you not agree, kind of where you stand. I also want to know, like...

What their favorites are yeah a hundred yeah, so let's start there like what would you say are your favorite things to come out of the United States besides Us I was gonna say the basement God Almighty I love you dude. Oh fucking God Almighty Wow Sometimes he gets religious Or would it be easier to go least favorite first mmm it's easier to hate right I

I hate American cheese. I fucking... Oh, it's not cheese. Yeah. It's a plastic, disgusting stuff. I hate it. What's your favorite cheese? Probably cheddar, to be fair. Oh, but feta. Feta's better than cheddar. I hate feta. I'm not actually... I'm also not...

What? It's better than cheddar. It's better than cheddar. It's better cheese. It's so good for you. I'm sure it is. I'm also, caveat, I'm not a massive cheese guy. But yeah, just a simple mature cheddar. You're not a big cheese guy, but you just immediately went to cheese. Yeah, because I already hate cheese. And then American cheese is my least favorite of the thing I already don't like. I will say this though, as also a big cheese guy, even though you said you're not. On a burger...

American cheese is better than any other cheese. No, it's not. Swiss cheese is the best on a burger. No, no, no, no, no, no. Jack Chedd. No, because you don't get the separation of like the fucking, it doesn't like separate the oils and all that shit. American cheese just looks like the wrapper that it's in.

Well, you're going craft singles. It's still shiny. You're going craft singles, Joey. Okay, but even so, like, you get it at a deli, the shit is still, like, shiny as fuck. And I'm like, this is not... I shouldn't be eating this. What's your least... One of your least favorite things to come out of the U.S.? Probably the mass shootings. Oh! Yeah. Yeah. That is a really good answer. Welcome back to the comedy podcast, guys. Today, we're going to talk about mass shootings and why they're so fucked up. Yeah, those...

Yeah. They do. We're the best at it, which is not good, but we are the best when you think about it. We are the best at it. And it's really bad. Yeah. Not sweet, I would say. It's fucked. Yeah. Well, I'd like to kill the podcast. I wonder how that is. I love that. He loves mass shooting. Stop. Don't. Joey. You can't. Yeah. Statistically, you are way probably more likely. Yeah.

Yes, it is a thing of my people for some reason. But I wonder how that is from other countries looking at it because I feel like living here, you're just desensitized to it. You almost don't even hear about all the ones that happen. You don't. You really don't. And it's insane. At this point, you hear about a mass shooting happening. This is hilarious, by the way, that we're talking about. But you hear about it happening and it's kind of like you're finding out that

someone 10 blocks away died or something. You're just like, oh, that's fucked up. But like, okay. It's also Wednesday. It's just fucking, it's crazy. And it makes you feel like a psychopath because you're like, why do I not feel this more? But it just happens so much that it's like strange. So I wonder from another country looking into being like, that place is a fucking war zone. Like that is terrifying. It's almost as if, if we just,

did what other people do to have less of those that maybe it would work. Yeah, you know, but it'd be like you guys just have knife fights. It's cooler. Yeah. Just be drunk. Introduce just like rabid football fans, you know, and we are stupid when it comes to knife fights. The machete game over there is crazy. Machete? Dude, I thought we were talking like little knives.

I've seen I'm not seeing one being used not personally and I'm not like I'm talking about like news I've seen one being used but I've seen some being seized and they say like oh yeah as opposed to being used to you guys have a lot of like stabbings though right yeah because we've got nothing else to do yeah yeah like we don't have the opportunity how you guys feel about jack the ripper yay nay what are we thinking here yay or nay oh oh why

Is there ever a yay? Why would it be a yay? I don't know. Some people are history buffs, you know. And they're into Jack the Ripper? Some people, yeah, dude. I'm sure there are to be fair. What other... All right. Let's get off of murder. Yeah. What other, like, things from the US do you guys... Or, like, do you have any that are like, yeah, this is fucking way better than what we got? Oh...

- The strip clubs are better here. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - What? - They actually are. - You've been here 10 days, dude. - I've been to America more than once. - Okay, cool. - Yeah, the strip clubs are better here. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, way better. - Okay, why is it better? - Why? - I think you need to come to the UK and go to a strip club to know why they're better. - And be like, what are we doing here? - Exactly. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, literally it's very- - Or do they play just like the Benny Hill music while they're stripping and stuff like that? - Yuck, nah.

They're very, how do I say it? Demotivated in England. Yeah. I went to one a few months ago and I was like, oh, do you give my friend a dance? Bearing in mind, these days, they hardly even have poles in there. And then I went to one the other day and there was three girls there and I was like, oh, would you guys want to give my friend a dance? And they were like,

You know that's like a hundred each right and I was like, okay, that's that's fine. Like do you want to do it? I know like I guess Literally and then they took him in and he came out like this is the best thing of all time and they came over and literally just like Walk straight back over to the bar Your friend must be ugly

He's actually strikingly handsome. So I was surprised. Damn, that's crazy. This is a stupid question, but do you guys have like $1 bills? We don't. We flick pound coins into a... I was just going to ask that. He's terrified. In Canada, they have $1 and $2 coins. So I'm like, well, how is...

- This is the horrible thing as well. So what happens in certain strip clubs is there'll be like a waitress who will come around with like a bucket and every 60 seconds you have to drop a pound coin in there. And if you run out of pound coins, they will ask you to leave. It's horrible. So you have to go to the bar and like, change me, I need some change. - You know what they need? - They're coming, they're coming. - The British, the British are coming.

crazy it's like church they passed around a basket you're like so stressful it's horrible wow you know what they need to put in they need to put in those like arcade games where you drop a coin in it and it like goes on a slide and you can like shoot it what the fuck are you even talking about why not both right you know you don't remember those games actually you know what i would think that like the strippers would benefit more from that that

because i'd be like i don't want to carry all these coins yeah like i'd be like here's a five what's the what's the highest denomination i mean the lowest bill five so yeah i would be more inclined to be like just take this five and like yeah to be fair does it buy you time like do they come around again you're like i put a five in my stuff yeah it doesn't give a they don't give me another pound yeah 100 if i gave her a 10 and then 60 seconds later she came around again

I'd be like, dude, I just gave you 10. She'd be like, dude, who even are you? Get out. Really? Damn, they kick you out. Damn. It's gross. I don't think that you even have to do anything in a strip. You could just walk in. I mean, you have to pay the cover charge. No, you need a lot of places. I haven't been in a strip club in fucking eons, but like...

You need to, it's like a one drink minimum at least per like hour that you're in there or some shit like that. Yeah, it's kind of chill. And a lot of the places that are like, I shouldn't say a lot of places, the places I've been to are full nude and they don't have their liquor license because of that. So like you need to buy like. We went to one the other day and he was like, oh, it's full nudity. So no alcohol. And I was like,

That doesn't make any sense. Yeah. So like the last time, the only time I went to one, you had to like buy a bucket of like non-alcoholic beer. So I'm sitting there drinking like non-alcoholic Coors Light. And I'm just like, it was awful. He's like, what am I doing here, dude? That made me feel like such a pervert. Yeah. It's like I'm 23. Why am I in here right now? I shouldn't be in here. But I've only been to two New York strip clubs and they were trash.

Why? They just... In comparison, the only other strip club I went to was in Vegas. Okay. And it was like... I bet that was cool. Very different over there. He could have gazed my heads out. Very different. Like, we went in because at the time when we went, we knew someone that worked there. Cool. Not as a dancer, as like a server. And...

She was like, oh, I'll give you guys a free table. We'll give you guys a bottle each of vodka. And like, oh, you want a cigar? And I was like, sure. And she's like, all right, you just need to at least spend $60. And we were like, fucking okay. I'll spend $120. No brainer. Yeah, we know someone that took our friend's credit card and put like $1,300 on there. Just swiping a credit card at a strip club. That's some other shit. I can only imagine what happened, honestly. We know what happened.

I wasn't going to say it. Yeah, we know what happened. But the audience can assume what happened as well. Yeah. The list. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The list. All right. All right. So this is, according to Brits, the best things to come out of America. Okay, go. There's eight. Number eight, Stephen King.

Interesting. Interesting. I can't believe that was even in the top 50. Yeah, that's very... Yeah, he's a good author. You guys big readers? Books? Nope. Good, me neither. I remember the last time I read a book. Facts. Really? I'm embarrassed to say, I actually don't remember the last time I read a book. Oh my God, you're talking a fucking king book over here. No, you're not. Dude, he reads like motivational books, like this is how I got my startup. This is literally made up. No, dude, you've posted pictures of you reading books with your morning coffee. During the pandemic? What was I?

gonna do it was i was stuck inside i was reading you were drinking wine joey you were you were drunk all the time i was i was drinking a lot of wine in the beginning of the pandemic they were like uh it was 14 days stopped to spread and i was like i'm moving back into my mom's house and just drinking wine every night and then they were like probably another two weeks and i was like awesome and then

you know, two years passed by. What was the lockdown like over by you guys? It was tough. So yeah, we used to have to, there was a point where you literally weren't allowed to like leave your house. Or no, you were allowed to leave your house. You weren't allowed to drive your car unless it was like for essential purposes. So this was like probably like three weeks, four weeks in, in like the real heat of it. So like if you,

If you're on the motorway or the freeway, whatever, the police will pull you over because you have literally no excuse to be there. And this is when we were doing our podcast. He used to live in a city called Manchester, which was like three hours from me. So I would have to take all the back roads from my house to his house to not get like arrested. So we can record our podcast. Did you ever get pulled over? Nah, never. Luckily, but I took the back. I'm pretty sure I went. We have this place called the Lake District, which is like... It's the north of England. Long story short.

Game of Thrones level like country roads and like mountains and like it was like driving through the Lord of the Rings basically all that for your boy all that for my boy that's crazy wait how long was the drive? what did you do? it was three hours I was waiting for him to come so he could record yeah yeah yeah he would do that and I would risk my life on the way home as well

- You weren't allowed to like crash for a night or something? - So once I got there, it was fine. So yeah, we recorded like 10 episodes in the space of two days because I had no idea when I was gonna be able to come back. - What the fuck did you guys even talk about? - Dude. - Who knows? I don't remember. - The 10th episode must have been like, I don't know. - There was one time we spoke about what if Kylie Jenner asked you on a date for about an hour and a half. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - What was the consensus? - I think we both said we'd lose our minds. - Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna say. - It took you an hour and a half to get there? - It took you an hour and a half to realize that we'd be pumped.

Yes or no? I don't know. It's going to take me an hour to get to a yes, but we'll eventually get there. Three hours, that is. Put the time in for the podcast. Yeah, man. Thank God. Damn, that's love. Ended up working out, though. That's hardcore love. That's great. And did you reciprocate that, and did you get him gifts or anything? Wow, this is crazy. Gifts? No. Love always. Love that. Thanks, bro. All right, so number seven of the most loved things that Brits believe came out of the U.S., The Simpsons.

Fair. Strong. Really? Fair. Staple. Simpsons has been out since 1980-something. Yeah, that's my childhood. Yeah. I never really was a big Simpsons fan. You? I don't think you were either, right? I think you guys have variety. I like it. Yeah, but like... You have variety here. You have a lot more shows here. Well, you guys don't. Not that we didn't, but Simpsons is a staple, man. Yeah, Simpsons is a staple. That's great.

Especially when we were younger and before streaming and like, we weren't allowed cable in my house. So we only had the free channels and Simpsons was on six. - How old were you guys? - 32. - 32. - Okay. - Oh, you're basically the same age as us. You didn't have like, we had a legal cable. Yeah, we had a legal cable, but like we had like Nickelodeon, which was like, you know, SpongeBob, Rugrats. - My house wasn't allowed Nickelodeon. - We had Nickelodeon like further into our childhood. - I had Cartoon Network. - I had Cartoon Network. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What was it? - Cartoon Network. - Oh, Cartoon Network, sorry.

What's the other accent? I don't know. The accent? I just... It's hot in here. Can you guys do like a good American accent or not? I can try. You have to give me a sentence. Hey, I'm Joey. I'm Joey. I'm the pizza guy. That's exactly what he says. That's crazy. That's so crazy that you... Right before we walked in, he's like, I hope they know I'm Joey. I'm Joey sent to Chicago. I'm the pizza guy. A couple more syllables in there. So sentence, say like...

Why don't we go to the park, shoot some hoops? Why don't we go to the park, shoot some hoops? That's really smooth, honestly. Yeah, that was like Idris level. Yeah, he said it like low and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I can't really hear you, but yes. I said, why don't we go to the park, shoot some hoops? Damn! My guy! Don't ask me to reciprocate because I can't do it whatsoever. I can't. Like half Australian or something. I do, I sound like an idiot. What? It's true. Frank, can you say...

I'm just gonna pop to the shops. Can I? Yes. Will it sound dumb? Also yes. You're gonna pop to the shops? I'm just gonna pop to the shops. That was good! That was really good! Yes dude! Yes, go! Yeah! J you're up, J you're up. You can't do shit! J you're up. I'm just gonna pop to the shops. Oh boo! That sucked! God that sucked! Fuck off!

- Yeah, do you guys spell things with O-U? - Yes, we do. Like color. - Oh, stupid. - Why though? - Favorite, O-U. - Favorite, you right. - Favorite, you right. - Favorite, you right. - Favorite, what else have we got? - Color, favorite. - Color, favorite, that's kind of it, no? - Boutique, I guess that's the same old thing. - No, boot. - What did you say? - Neighbor. - Neighbor, yes, yes. - Oh, do you do shop with a P-E at the end? - Nah. - What the fuck does that? - There's the, it's like a- - The vitamin shop. - That's like a Dutch thing, I think. Something like that. - Is it?

Nice. Are you Dutch? Oh, I was going to say, we hate the Dutch. We're from New York. This is little Dutch, Deutschland. Oh, I was like, what are you talking about? It's true. New York was founded by the Dutch. A lot of people don't remember that. Was it? Well, I shouldn't say founded. They kind of, here we go. Buckle in. They kind of...

They kind of took it, you know. Oh, yeah. And then called it, like, Discovery. Wait, what? I have no idea what you're saying. Me neither. I believe Manhattan was populated by a lot of First Nation, Native American. Damn, this is checking out. I'm pissed off. Yeah, and the Dutch came over here, and they were like, oh, Manhattan is a, I believe it's a Native American term for the land of many hills.

Huh. Interesting. Damn, dude. Why do you know stuff? One of us has to be smart. It's barely me. You say the dumbest things sometimes. He thought the moon was made of the Grand Canyon. Shut up. What? Oh, did you think a meteorite came in, smashed it, and then carved it out and it went into space? It did. It did. It made a perfect circle. It did. There was one of those Instagram scientists who she was like, all right, we're going to, you know what? He's onto something here. And she was like, no, like a long time ago.

In a galaxy far, far away. Something hit us and like it broke us mentally, physically. And it like, that's what the moon is. It became like a, you know, it's like kind of like a chunk of us. Yeah, it isn't though, you know? Yeah. How does Saturn have moons?

Because it's huge, dude. How is that an explanation? It's big. It's big, but the Dutch flipped a coin, like a quarter, at the Native Americans that were here. And they were like, we'll take this land. And they were like, please don't. And they were like, here's a quarter. And then they took it. And syphilis. Yeah. It was smallpox, I believe, is what we were spreading. I'm glad you took the collective we. Yeah, I'm not really doing myself any favors by saying that, am I?

I believe we were spreading smallpox. I don't really remember. Yeah, those were the days. What was it, guys? Smallpox? Ah, yes. All right. Number... Number six. Number six is...

All right, we do have some more sponsors for this episode starting with Squarespace. Squarespace is where you're going to build your website and launch it hopefully as well. I mean, if you have a small business or you create content or anything really that you want to promote, you're going to need a really good website. Sometimes that's everyone's first impression of you is how legit is this website? And, you know, back in the day you needed to pay someone who knows coding and all this stuff.

but you need you don't need to do that anymore you have platforms like Squarespace with Squarespace which I think is the best platform for this I've built many web sites using Squarespace before and I love it and it makes it very easy and sort of cuts out a middleman because they have great templates to make your website beautiful from a clickable button you literally just click this button and you have to change some of the text and you can add your own pictures into it you can customize it towards you know your brand or whatever you selling but it makes it very easy to have a professional looking website and

they have a great tools to let you know, like where traffic is coming from. They will help you optimize your business and your traffic to your website. So, um,

You can go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, so again, like if you are launching a website or you have a small business or whatever, don't hesitate to use Squarespace to make it happen. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code basement to

for 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. So go check it out. And lastly here, we have FitBod. You know, the winter time, it's coming around, and this is the perfect time to get ahead of your summer bod, okay? Or just to get in shape or whatever the hell you want. But FitBod is amazing because you have a powerful technology that understands your strength training ability. It studies your past workouts and adapts to your available gym equipment. And that's why I think it is fantastic.

a very amazing tool to be using because it's for everybody. If you don't have access to a gym or you don't have dumbbells or you have no experience with fitness and exercise, FitBot is going to help you because they have over 1500, uh,

uh, exercise demonstration videos. So if you've never even heard of these exercises, there's a person, there's a video you can watch where they teach you how to do it. And then you could, you know, do your program as you see fit. Uh, like I said, if you don't have any dumbbells or you don't have access to a, uh, like a gym membership, you can do body weight stuff and you can do this in the comfort of your own home at your own pace. Um, and that I think is great because, you know, not everyone has access to those things. Um,

And even if you do have experience, it's for you as well because I think that they do a good job in, like I said, they study your past workouts and it adapts, you know, moving forward. You can't just do the same thing

exercises forever and expect different results. You have to keep your body guessing, so to speak, and Fitbod does a great job at doing that. So if you want to get into shape and you need help, sometimes a personal trainer can be very expensive. So Fitbod is a more affordable way to sort of do that. And you can get 25% off your subscription and get three personalized workouts when you go to fitbod.me/basement. That's 25% off and free personalized workouts.

at FITBOD.ME slash basement. So get to it, folks. Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I...

I'm partial to agree. Why partial? Just full agree. He's great. He is pretty good. I don't know if he's the sixth best thing to ever come out of America. And I also don't think he's really technically from, oh, I think he grew up in Hawaii. So that's America, right? Yeah. It's the 51st state of America. Yeah. Well, no, no 50th Puerto Rico is not technically the 51st state. It's not a state. I know it's a Commonwealth, which

Which, what is that? We have no idea. It's not a nice thing. I'll tell you this. We went to Puerto Rico. They don't like the United States. Oh, yeah. No, they're not big fans of us. We went to a distillery and they had a bunch of barrels, obviously aged rum and stuff. And they had this one barrel in the center. And they're like, this is the oldest barrel that we have. And

And the guy, and meanwhile, it's just Americans who are there. Cause we, we were there with some like American company and whatever. So we're all sitting there and the guy's like, this is our oldest barrel. Um, the guy who created this big company there, like their whole distillery, um, before he died, he was like this barrel. We're, we're not going to open until Puerto Rico gets their independence from the United States. And then we were all just standing there like, and then everyone's like, Ooh,

ooh, and they're like taking pictures of it. I'm like, this is fucked up. I was like, I feel like we've done something wrong. The guy said to, he's like, and we'll never open this. That's what he says. He's like, I don't think this is ever going to open. Then he slapped it and walked away. And I was like, well, I have a lot of guilt. You guys have the power to stop this.

Take your pictures? Oh, definitely not us. I don't think, you know, it was very, he was nice, but there was a tinge of like darkness behind it. Yeah, he's like, yeah, we'll never have it. I was like, fuck, dude. All right. Jesus. Dwayne The Rock Johnson? 15 years ago, I'd probably say yes. 15 years ago? 15? Yeah, because I was a huge WWF, WWE fan. Yeah. Oh, baby. Huge. Stone Cold and The Rock. Yeah, man. Triple H, all of them. Undertaker, Kane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me your best Stone Cold impression. Everyone has one. Best Stone Cold impression? Everyone has one. All right. Any wrestler you could do?

Because you know, I know you grew up doing impressions of wrestlers. Everyone did. Do a Scotty Tuhati on the floor right now. You can worm it up. I can actually. You can do the worm. Don't you fucking dare. I used to try and do it. I've not done it in years. I don't think my limbs can handle.

I'm not going to lie to you. The worm is crazy. Remember back in the day, someone would just go to a party, break out the worm, and you're like, that's the coolest guy there is. Yeah. Damn, that's a good worm, bro. I wish I could backflip and moonwalk. Not at the same time, but just those two things. When I was a kid, I spent an entire summer trying to learn how to backflip. Oh.

And I broke my toe. Damn. And I never learned. Do you know what's funny about that? I saw a video where a guy's like, I'm going to learn how to backflip today. I've seen that. And he did it. And I was like, who is this guy? He just had a mattress and it took 10 hours. He figured it out. I'm too scared to break my fucking neck. Yeah, man. It's terrifying. I won't even backflip into water. When you jump, can you elevate a lot? Or is it like a mediocre height? No. Jump.

Joey was all right. He's looking at me like I know you're white So can you fit a piece of paper on your feet when you jump Joey was a good shooter from the perimeter, you know, he wasn't Oh nice That was a point guard guys. I wasn't down in the paint or anything and even that was barely right so Speaking of moonwalking the number five best thing according to Brits that come out of the US Michael Jackson

Agreed. I'll take that. Yeah. Yeah, totally 100% agree. I got some bad news for you guys. He's not American. No, he is. He's just, yeah, he's bad news. There's some stuff there. There's some stuff there. Great songs though, you know. That's allegations, dude. You're right. They are allegations. I don't appreciate that. They're unfounded allegations. Oh, shit. Yeah. No, his catalog hits, dude. His fucking, he's like, no, I love him, dude. I have a tattoo on my back of Michael Jackson's face. There's some stuff there. Question for you guys. Do you prefer black Michael or white Michael?

- Yes. - I love the silence. - I love the silence. - Don't get me wrong, you know, thriller, but like man in the mirror too, you know what I'm saying? - Yes. You had no answer. - I was thinking of the albums, I'm like, what? - Jesus, that was funny. Yeah. - I'm gonna say Michael fans. - I'm gonna say black just for everyone knows, right? - Just for the optics. - I'm an ally. - An ally?

Yeah, Michael's cool. That's a good shout. Yeah, I think, you know, music catalog is... Someone recently said, like, they were like, oh, Drake and Taylor Swift are the new Michael Jackson. Drake is the new Michael Jackson, by the way. Oh, I don't... He's got more. He's broken the record, dude. I mean, he might have, like, more hits, but he's also in a place where it's a lot easier to get your hands on music than it was 35, 40 years ago. Yeah, but I also think there's more options. When Michael was around, like...

just of how famous he was if he could drop anything it didn't have to be good and he would be number one because no one there was no one else but it was also good though it was good that's the thing it's like in addition to it it was good are you suggesting that drake isn't good i mean i'm not i'm not a big like i joey makes fun of me all the time for this i don't like listen to current music the i like my music knowledge stopped at like 2009. yeah he's like i was listening to bow wow on the way over

He's right. I was like, what? I'm not kidding. You sure you like mine? Yeah, exactly. I was listening to Dem Franchise Boys. Yeah, Dem Franchise.

What's your favorite album? And I'd be like, obviously it's D4L's titular album. I don't even know the name of their album. Yeah. Damn, bro. Yeah. So I can't say like Drake isn't good. I know he's obviously like he cemented his place as like an icon, but I don't think there's a comparison. I think that Michael Jackson was probably the most famous person who's ever lived. Probably. Probably. Jack Nicholson.

Are you insane? Jack Nicholson. Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds. That's such a horrible, like, he might be like the four millionth most famous person. Nah, I don't know, man. Those 80s, 70s, 80s, 90s.

No, dude. I think if I close my eyes, I don't even know what Burt Reynolds looks like. White mustache. That's all you need. You're looking at him. If I was older. Yeah, facts. All right, all right. Coming in now at number four. Very just basic Hollywood movies. Yeah. That's vague, though. That's what I'm saying. It's very vague. Okay. But I guess they've always been...

Hollywood has always been an international business. It's not like we were just like, all right, you can have these movies now. Yeah, that's fake. I don't agree with that. It definitely sounds like we're running out of things that we like about America. Yeah, why the fuck is that so high on the list? All right, I'll give you number three, two, and one of the Brits' favorite things to come out of America. Number three, Netflix. Fair. Number two, Barack Obama. Barack. Number one, Joe doesn't like this. This is what he does. This is what he does.

Martin Luther King Jr. Yeah, exactly. They say he doesn't like this. This is what he does. This is what he does on the show. He goes, well, you're going to hate this, but Martin Luther King. That's hilarious. Oh my God. So Joe, why don't you like him? Yeah, why don't you like Martin Luther King? I love Martin Luther King. I said that I like black Michael Jackson more than white Michael Jackson. Let's not forget that. All right. The worst are way better. The Brits least favorite things to come out. Number seven, Kanye West.

- Wow. - We don't hate Kanye that much. - There's some stuff, but his music, I mean- - I don't hate, listen, his music will always be great. - Iconic. - Always be great. Not all of his music, but a lot of it. Like 80% of his catalog. 85% of his catalog will always be, yeah, that poopy, yeah, that was stupid. - That was bad. - It wasn't? - Was it? - I'm just saying.

I'm talking like Kanye's workout plan will always be on in my house. You know what I'm saying? Well, that's because that's when you started listening to music. 2008. That's right. That's where it stopped. College dropout, that's all he knows. He's an icon because college dropout is the only thing I know from him. He won a Grammy. All right. Number six. Again, pretty vague, but least favorite, the Iraq War. It's not a joke. The sixth...

Most hated thing to come out of America according to English people is the Iraq war. Yeah. Dude, I hate war. Didn't we go there too? Didn't we go where? Didn't England go? Britain went over there too, right? I thought you guys. I was so confused. Like me and you? Like, damn, you guys are military, dude? Thank you for your service. Tony Blair and George Bush were like holding hands. They were like, we're going to do it together. And George was like, absolutely. We got this.

That's a really good impression. I can do a couple. I can do a little bit. Who else? Ask. Kanye West. Oh, nice try. No. Wait, was it the Iraq War? So how do you guys feel about the Iraq War? I have no opinion. Yeah. We're going to move on. Make a hard stance about war now. For all of our listeners and yours too. Here we go. Number five, least favorite. This is one that I was super surprised about. The Kardashians. Now we love. Oh.

I feel like the British love the Kardashians. Yeah, we do love the Kardashians. Everyone that's not just a misogynistic piece of shit like the Kardashians. I feel like anyone willing to take this poll, which I'm assuming is just like...

Karen's yeah, yeah, say Kardashian. What's the British Karen a Karen Susan? No, it's a Actually a lock it's pretty popular name in England in it Karen. Yeah, I'll die out in about 30 years No one be cool Karen again. Oh, yeah Before that it's done. Yeah that looks Barbara and shit Neither of you two have children, right? Okay, who looks at a beautiful baby girl and says I

Karen. Like, who does that? A lot of white people back in the day, I think. Back in the day, people were still named Karen. It's true. Barbara's a tough one. Barbara sucks. Barbara. Susan. I think of Barbara, I'm like, you work at the church. Yeah, or the bank. Or the bank, yeah. The bank. Post office. Gwyneth. Gwyneth.

Gwyneth? That's a tough name. Has anyone ever met anyone called Gwyneth? Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's a tough name. That's honestly the only Gwyneth I know. Yeah. I mean, and we don't know.

I don't know her at all. We don't know her. So, but you guys are, you like the Kardashians, I assume. - Personally, I don't care. - I couldn't care less. - I couldn't care less, but I can understand the UK loving the Kardashians. - Again, if Kylie Jenner decides to reach out. - I was gonna say, you like Kylie Jenner, we know that. - No, this is least favorite. This is least favorite. - Oh. - Yeah. What you think the British were like, "We love the Iraq war." No, this is the least favorite part. - Oh yeah, so I would have to disagree. I feel like the British- - I disagree. There's a lot worse things than the Kardashians coming out of the country. - The 10,000 people that were asked are-

Yeah, that car runs on above. It's so funny that you say that because I was just thinking that. I'm like, I have never been even offered a pole in my life. Yeah, me neither. Literally every day in college.

They were giving you polls? You did polls every day? Surveys and polls and every... About shit like this? Everything, dude. By choice? Everything. Yeah, it was like some were anonymous, some you submitted your demographics and shit like that because a lot of it was people doing it for research for their fucking thesis or dissertation or something. You were the worst at stuff like that, though. This guy wouldn't have been... He wouldn't have even known if he was asked something. Whenever we were in university, if anyone offered him a flyer or stopped him in the street, he wouldn't...

You probably still do now. He wouldn't acknowledge them. Like, you've never seen anyone... I did that on the way here. Yeah, I do that all the time. They could jump in front of him and be like, hey, can I ask you a few questions? And he would literally just keep walking so straight that even if he, like, bumped their shoulder, he wouldn't let it break his stride. It was impressive. And the rudest thing I've ever seen. Well, that's what you're supposed to do in New York. Because people are trying to sell you shit, like, every five seconds. I literally, on the corner over here, this guy, like, selling, like, watches or something. He's like, yo, you want a watch? And I was like, what a...

In what world am I buying a watch on the corner right now? Like, what is that? I actually saw a beautiful Asian family buy wallets when we went to get tacos earlier. And I was surprised. Yeah. Cause I was thinking, why do these guys try so hard? No one's buying this shit. And then the lady was like this. What?

like the street over there is known as like a popular like shopping destination because it obviously you're not buying a real fucking gucci bag but like it looks very similar yeah yeah it's like yeah you know 20 bucks i'll take when i was a kid it's funny when i was a kid um they used to sell like the dvds like that of like movies that were currently in theaters someone would go in record it and i remember pokemon the movie 2000 was out

And I'm a fucking big... That's a fucking movie, by the way. Yeah. Pikachu versus Pikachu? And they're just slapping each other? No, no, no. That's the first movie. Oh, shit. Oh, sorry. And they started crying? Yeah. When Ash turned to stone? Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. That's why he was crying. That fucked me up. Yeah, bro. Honestly, that fucked me up. He's like, Pika! And Charizard's like... Yes!

You really are good at impressions. You are, man. Well played. It was the one with all the legendary birds and Lugia. Oh, like Holo and stuff like that. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. My favorite bird. But they had it, and I was like, Mom, please, please, please, please. And she was like, all right, fine. Knowing it was probably a piece of shit copy. And as we were doing that, the cops fucking rolled up. Whoa. Yeah, and the guy folded up the blanket, took the money, took the blanket, and just took off.

Took your money? Yeah. You never got your DVD? Never. I mean, I got it when it actually came out. But like, I never got it at that point in time. Before we go to number four, I believe. Can you do a Denzel Washington impression? Oh, can you? Are you a good Denzel? I want to see that too. I don't think I can. And I'm afraid to if I'm being honest. But like, he's just like, I mean, I immediately think of like, like the comedian Jay Pharoah. And he's just like, he's very good at impressions. Unbelievable. But it's just like, all right.

- Okay. You know, that's it. - It's not terrible. - That's really it. - It's not terrible, dude. - You know. - It's all about that though. - Can you guys do any other? - Yeah. - You'll be playing basketball in Pelican Bay. - All right, now what impressions can you guys do? You put me on the spot. - I can't do impressions. - No. - No. - I'm not very good at impressions. I'm not gonna lie to you. - You can do accents though. You do a good Australian accent. - Can you? - You were trying to emulate, who was it? Thor? What's his real name again? - Chris Hemsworth. - Chris Hemsworth. - Chris Hemsworth. - Yeah, you can do a good Australian accent. - I'm from Australia.

What's that fucking place called that always sounds Australian Perth? No, Sydney Adelaide. Yeah. Yeah. I'm from Adelaide a little bit of kangaroo. Yeah You do like Scottish

I'm Scottish. Frankie, you want to come to Scotland? That got worse. What can I say in Scottish? Scottish?

I'm Scott Dash. Have you been there? Scotland? Yeah, we've been to Edinburgh last year. Yeah, it was really cool. It was actually beautiful. I always assumed that Scotland was just like rainy and shitty and horrible. Yeah. Filled with heroin addicts. Oh, that last part I didn't know. But it was just... Yeah, sorry. Have you guys seen Trainspline? Yes. With Ewan McGregor? Yeah, that's why I thought it was full of heroin addicts. That works. But yeah, we went to Edinburgh. Edinburgh's...

Probably what top three most beautiful cities I've ever seen in my entire life. It looks really cool. It looks like Harry Potter. It does. It's where it's based. That's where it's... Oh, I say based, but that's where it was loosely taken from. Yeah, yeah. Jacob Rowling, she wrote Harry Potter in Edinburgh and was like, the Hogwarts is based off the castle in Edinburgh that's actually on the hill and stuff. Wow.

Oh, that's dope. There were four houses in, yeah. I'm supposed to go next year for a bachelor party to Scotland. You're going to like it. That'd be sick. Yeah. It's a buff. Very, very good. Because my buddy, like, loves golf. So, like, they have the golf course. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, they do. You guys like golf?

I wouldn't say I like golf. I love top golf. But I would love to know how to be good at golf. Because I think it's a flex when you're older. I'm saving it. Yeah, that is where the deals are done. Let's go play some golf, man. Let's talk it out. It's because you don't do any deals. I don't do any deals. You're right. I'm saving it until I'm like 35. Then I'll be like, okay, now I'm going to take golf seriously. I played Pitch and Puff for the first time. It's only two days ago. What's that? You played what? It's like 80 yards.

Oh, okay. So it's like you just chip and then put. Oh, okay, okay, okay. That's cool. Joey doesn't know how to be into something casually. Oh, me neither. He needs to like dive in head first. Yeah, balls deep. Exactly. So like, he'll be like, yeah, we're, I'm going to try boxing. And then he'll like buy like the professional, like handmade stitch gloves.

And like, oh, one day I was talking to him and he's like, yeah, I think I'm just going to like run a marathon in like six months. I did that. I was like, get the fuck out of here. I listened to David Goggins on a podcast one time. I was like, dude, I'm going to fucking run a marathon. So I went to the gym the next day and just got on a treadmill and ran. Was it like 26 something miles? What? Yeah, I didn't die. Just see if I could. Did you the whole time run? Nah, not the whole time. Yeah, I was on off. But I was going to say, what are you? Yeah, dude, the...

Smell that was coming out of my pores. I genuinely thought I was gonna die. It was scary. It was cool though. I did it. I've like gone into those moods too. Like there was one time I was at the gym and I was like on the Stairmaster and I was like, I wonder how many stairs are in the Empire State Building. And I was like, all right. And then I did that and I was like, I'm never doing that fucking thing again. Doing 26 miles also on a treadmill is...

Literally serial killer type of shit. Yeah, were you there from open to close? No, I guess she didn't all right time I didn't like three hours on another there's no way you didn't three hours. That's like three and a half Yeah, I was I did well were you do you were doing meters? Well, yeah

Oh my God. That's not bad, right? All right. That's a different type of accent though. Who sounds like that? That's like... Jason Statham? Yeah, maybe a little bit. Are you telling me? I'm gonna do it. No? Nah. I don't think anyone actually sounds like that.

Maybe I'm like EastEnders. Maybe. I apologize if it's annoying. It's not annoying at all. And you're really like, you're starting to get into it and you feel comfortable in it and it's cool. I feel comfortable with you guys. I feel like we can hug and hang out. It's nice to see. Yeah, I think we should hang out. I think we should definitely hang out.

All right, moving on. Number four and number three kind of related least favorite things that Brits have from the US. Number four, the NRA. Number three, the obsession with guns. I think we've kind of already touched on that. These are so carrying answers. I feel really pissed off about whoever answered this poll. Are they just asking? If someone says, oh, what's top 10 least favorite thing? The NRA.

I don't even know what the NRA stands for. It doesn't fucking matter to us. National Rifle Association. Yeah, that doesn't matter. Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense because it doesn't translate to the UK whatsoever. So why anyone would be bothered that that came out of the US doesn't make any sense. Someone got their hands on CNN and was so pumped when they heard Anderson Cooper just talking about the NRA. And they were like, yeah, me too. Me too. Number two, George W. Bush. Again. Doesn't. I'd say, how did?

I don't like one of their presidents. Oh, well, number one, least favorite thing that Brits have from the US. Trump. Oh, shit. Donald Trump. I guess that's a good one. No, we actually enjoy, like, Donald Trump. Just for, like, spectacle reasons. Yeah, I was going to say, you were, like, laughing at us. Yeah. Laughing at him more than anything, yeah. Yeah, but then...

Boris came in and just ruined the whole joke. Because we had one up on you for a little bit. And we're like, oh, these guys are fucking idiots with Trump. And then we had Boris Johnson. It was just embarrassing. That guy looks like he's been in a dark closet for 10 years. And then they just let him out. He fucks as well. Does he? Yeah, he's got like 2,000 kids from like... Five wives. Shut up. He balls out, dude. He fucking ducks. Who has sex with this dude? People. Yeah. Why? Unfortunate people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not the strippers. We already went over that. Prime Minister, I guess. That's insane. Power.

Yeah, and he was mayor of London for ages, right? One of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my life. He was mayor of London too? Yeah. No one likes any politicians anymore. No one's just like, yeah, we like this person. Unless it's like Angela Merkel in Germany. But here in the US, no matter what you are... Did you expect that reference to land on all of us? What did you say? Angela who? Angler? I'm not doing this.

I'm not gonna do that. Wait, what was that? Angela Merkel? You don't know who that is? You know I don't know that. You're a piece of shit. You don't know that. Wait, who is it? You are a piece of shit. He's talking to you. I agree. Who is that? She was like the leader of Germany or something. Alright, you don't get to say her name and say leader of Germany. Oh, I don't know what they call it. Like...

Chancellor, see? Nice. I knew that, that's right. Good save. Angler Merka. No, you idiot. Angela. It's like Angela, but said German. Got it. Oh. Merka. I have no idea who that is. That's kind of a dope last name. Yeah, but I don't remember the last politician, apart from Barack Obama, that anyone really enjoyed. Love Barry. Barry. We're on a first name basis. As soon as I saw him shoot a basketball lefty, I was like, nice. Nice.

I was like, what? We talk about that all the time. We're like, yo, if you're going to be president of this country, like we got to stop electing people who are 1,000 years old. And like, there's got to be like a fitness test to this thing. You got to be able to do a couple pushups, hit a free throw and a half court shot in under a half hour. And like, you need to have something. I mean, I guess we did for a while have something out. Like George W. Bush was like a baseball guy.

Clinton was shredding the saxophone. And getting head. And getting topped off. Thoughts on Joe Biden? Holy shit. I think he's dead. I can't think of the two sentences. I'll be honest with you, though. Like how you said Trump is great to watch because of all the whatever. Man.

Usually this would make me upset because I hate seeing old people going through stuff. It makes me really upset. If I see an old person just sitting on a bench, I'm like, I could cry right now thinking about that. But when Joe Biden fell off that bike, I was like... That was good. That was so awesome to me. I was like, this is great. That was really good. Because there was a bunch of like...

The reason why it was so funny to me because there's so much like secret service around and they're looking at like snipers and people's hands and like whatever. This dude just falls off a fucking bike. Oh no. And gets hurt. Oh! He's just old as fuck. He's just made of dust. I think we've reached, I don't know about Joey, but like I've reached a point of just like, I can't sit here. We're not getting this right. Yeah, like we're not going to figure it out in our lifetime at least. So like, let's just make fun of everybody. You know, like what do we do? Get pissed about it? Like no. Whoever's funniest.

That's it. I will say this. Trump had some one-liners, dude. Oh, dude. This guy was going in there and he was just like, basically just calling people just like idiots, bitches, and small dicks. I love when he talks about Rosie O'Donnell. It's like, she's a pig. I'm like...

This guy's on TV. It's like, Rosie's a fucking pig. I don't know what to tell you. I'm like, that's crazy. Leader of the free world in the White House. How do you feel about it? Usually a politician would be like, you know, I think that, and he's just like, she's a pig. And I'm like, damn, dude. That's, yeah. There's a way of murder, man. Yeah. I mean, it's insane. There's a politician here named Chris Christie. He was the governor of New Jersey. And he's a large, plump man. Guy's got a belt, a custom-made belt, probably.

Yeah, and people he's corrupt and like piece of shit but like people have been like he's been taking shots at Trump lately and All Twitter is saying is just like just give Trump just like five minutes It'll be like Chris Chris Krispy Kreme What a pig It's been a couple years, you know

What are you going to do? Sorry, guys. Well, listen, we appreciate you guys coming all the way over here. Thank you so much. Had so much fun with you guys. Usually, like, we don't really do guests and shit because we don't know how well everyone's going to gel or whatever, but it's like we've known you guys for years, it feels like. Thank you, man. You guys have been an absolute pleasure. Yeah. And you guys can go check out the episode we did with them on their YouTube channel. You guys can plug your stuff. Yeah. Shits and Gigs.

everywhere. James and Fu Had. James and Fu Had. The British guys from TikTok. Whatever you want to call it. Yeah, man. Give us a follow. It's

like considerably be better than this podcast i would say yeah considerably yeah thank you um so yeah check that out you guys are just better looking as individuals and as i don't know that's true less guns on their podcast probably definitely less mass murder talk i swear to god yes but uh yeah that is all thank you guys for coming we'll see you guys next time cheers