Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, how's it going buddy? The mint green boys. We're mint greening it. We're kind of mint greening it together. The mint green double mint twins. That's not right. That definitely- I mean double mint twins was a thing. Yeah. Remember? We spoke about this before. Like they were trying to sell gum with boobs. Like they were just being like- Got me. I love that gum. Yeah, do you? Yeah. Don't really care for it. Like Juicy Fruit is just like, oh, it's juicy and fruity and wet in your mouth.
That's what they said. Yeah. Gum is pretty sexual. You never see fucking commercials about Winterfresh or Big Red, though. Ever. Yeah, well, they don't need to. It's like Lamborghinis. They sell themselves, you know? Like, you don't need to fucking, you know, produce commercials. Like, they're reliable sellers. It's not a Lamborghini. It's a piece of gum. Oh, my God. You remember those Orbit gum commercials?
Where it's like, you lint licker. Clean feeling. Yeah, I hated that shit. And then we previously spoke about how horny the five gum commercials were. Yeah, those are crazy. You like Juicy Fruit, right? I love Juicy Fruit, yeah. I shit his ass. Nah, it's...
For the first, like... It's a slightly flavored rubber band. That's what it tastes like. That's all gum. That's all gum. No, no. You know what it is? It's a chewy Band-Aid. That's what it is. First of all, definitely not. It is. Definitely not, dude. Yeah. I fucking hate Band-Aids. The first... Why? Where? Why? I don't like Band-Aids. I don't like the smell. I don't like the look. I don't like when I have a Band-Aid on and I take it off and the underneath is all white. And wet. And wet. Why is it...
I don't know. And then it smells like my grandmother's ass. You know what I'm saying? It smells like the inside of a lunchbox. I don't know what lunchboxes you've had, Joey. Mine definitely doesn't smell like that. No, it does. And also, have you ever been in a pool and there's just a random band-aid? Yeah, of course. I mean, I've been in a pool before. Any pool you go into, there's always a form of a random band-aid. Do you pee in pools? No. Have you? Yes. So that would...
But it's not like a thing. The only pee pools I pee-peed in were Vegas. They're toilets. Let's be honest. Vegas pools are toilets. No one cares much about them. But you don't just get in someone's pool and be like, oh, yeah, of course I pissed on them. No, no, no, never. I would never do that. It's delicious like that.
Oh. Says he pisses in pools. I was like, dude, that's bad. Yeah. Right? Bad, bad. Yeah. And he'll be like, yo, are we pissing in here? Like, no. No. We're not. Good to know. Good to just a universal rule. Don't pee in a pool unless it's a Vegas pool. Right. Vegas pools are toilets. No one cares.
I care. Well, I mean you're partying in toilet water. It's all good, bro I used to fucking let it rip beyblade style in toilet in toilets I was gonna say in Vegas pools cuz we'd go to those pool parties and you're fucking 17 beers deep
Whoa. No, that's a lot. All right. Like nine beers deep. The strongest mixed drink you've ever had. $900 in debt at that point. Do you remember that shit? A bucket of six Michelob Ultras was 80 bucks in Vegas. Michelob.
Tell you what, got my money's worth, left that place, left my wallet, phone, shirt, shoes at the pool party. He just walked out. I just walked out. And remember the bouncer gave me a big white shirt. He's like, you can't leave without a shirt. I was like, I was like a baby. And he put it on me and I walked home. Well, no, you didn't walk home. We were walking together. And we got pulled apart. And we got pulled apart because there was like a group of people. They're like, oh my God, no, no, no.
And I was like, yeah, that's him. And then I turned for a split second and you were gone. I sprinted around the MGM Grand Casino. I sprinted like on the way home. The route that like we took. So like I was like, all right, well, if he's going home, I'll see him on this route. No idea how I got there. No idea how you got back. I thought you were gone, dude. I thought you were a goner. But, you know, I was a goner recently. And not in a sense of like running away or being lost. Right.
But I went out to dinner with a buddy of mine who came to visit, and I guess I got a little drunk. I didn't realize. What did I guess? What did you drink? So we went to a sushi place, and it's BYOB, and I bought a six-pack of, they were like 8-point-something percent beers. You drank six beers? I drank four of them. That'll do it. Well, I drank four, and I gave the other two to some random old guys that were there. And then we went and had another drink. Wait, did he drink? No.
Yeah, of course. Oh, I thought you... So you both just got a six-pack for each? No, he had a bottle of wine for himself. I got a six-pack for myself. That's such a...
Weird thing Why Like showed up to a sushi place He's drinking a bottle of wine You're drinking a six pack And I was like got it Yeah right And I dropped the fucking six pack It was pumpkin beer It was delicious I know you're not a fan I know you're not a fan I like them So you got hammered But I didn't No so like I didn't Real like I felt drunk But like not to the point Where I was like You know Yeah And you know I had not much else To drink after that But I guess those were pretty You know Densely Sure
alcoholic beers and becca was like the next morning i wake up and becca's like you were hammered and i'm like no i wasn't like i remember getting home like i have all memory of like the whole night and she's like yeah you yeah you were i'm like why she goes you rolled over to me in the middle of the night and woke me up like it was 2 p.m like like babe and i'm like okay and she goes you go babe babe the kids don't even have a following
What? And she's like, what? And I'm like, the kids... You don't respect your kids because they don't have a following. And she's like, what? I was like, on social media? And I was like, yes. Like, I'm like talking down to her. Now she's the idiot. Now she's the idiot. Yeah, of course I'm talking about that. At three in the morning. I'm like gaslighting my poor wife at fucking three in the morning. I'm like, yeah? Duh? And she's like...
What are you saying? And then I just apparently rolled over and went back to sleep. What does that even mean? At one point, I got up to go use the bathroom, and she said I was in the closet. I didn't pee in the closet, though. Oh, my God. She's like, you were playing with the hat rack in the closet. And I was like, what? I've done that. When I fall asleep, if I had any type of alcohol, even just like two drinks or something, nothing crazy, but if I fall asleep,
I have to get up in the middle night you did to go to the bathroom or something wakes me up No recollection of that whatsoever and I'm like, it's like weird I've What time I was very drunk though and I went back to my apartment and I'm laying in bed and I Can't I just came to and I was staring at myself in the mirror And it I it like scared me like for days. I was like, I'm not drinking anymore. That was terrifying really? Yeah, because I just like woke up basically and I'm like
Why am I here? Like, why am I staring at myself? That is kind of freaky. Maybe you were drugged. You ever think of that? And then what? Stood and stared at myself in the mirror? I mean, people, you know, you can drug yourself. I felt like I got drugged at times where I was like, I definitely didn't drink that much and I'm fucking blasted. I think now I probably like, again, I didn't, I'm in my head. I can still drink how we used to when we were younger.
Or I shouldn't even say when we were young. When I would consistently drink. So I guess I didn't realize how hard those fucking drinks were going to get me. Dude, I wouldn't drink eight... I mean, four 8% beers without knowing, like, this is going to get slippery. Yeah, dude, that's a lot. I guess I fucked up. I don't know. Like, I...
I forgot. One 8% beer will have me being like, definitely feel that beer. Really? Yeah. Like it's 8%. Oh, I was by the third one. I was just like, oh wow. I feel like a little like tipsy. Yeah. But you're, you're playing the game, baby. You gotta wait. I didn't know. I forgot like percentages of beers. It takes some time to get up to it. I've been out the game for a while. I forgot percentages of beers. I like, you know, so I saw 8%. I was just like, oh, I didn't even, I don't even think I noticed that it was 8% until after. 8% is a lot. I guess. For a beer. Yeah. But, uh, I, I, I,
Daddy was feeling it a little bit. You were fine. You were having a good time. I had a good time. What kind of sushi did you eat? I got a sushi dinner, chef's choice. And then I got a separate roll that was a fucking banana sandwich. Cool, dude. I'm asking for specifics. Oh. Well, it was like two pieces of tuna, two pieces of salmon, two pieces yellowtail, whitefish. And then the roll I got... You ready? Roll? I got a roll in addition. It was...
Avocado, seared scallop, spicy tuna, seared filet. What the hell? How big was this thing? Each piece was pretty big. And a jalapeno on top with like sriracha sauce. Bitch. Yeah, man. I fucked that up. I fucked that shit in his ass. I mean, it's okay. You fucking, yeah? I said I would fuck it in its ass. Oh, boy.
Yeah, I was so aggressive just now. Yeah, that was a little much. But yeah, I guess I didn't realize. And I woke up and I felt fine. I was tired because I didn't get enough sleep. But I woke up and I was like, oh, you know, feeling good, feeling great. Do you ever worry that you would... Like, imagine you got drunk and...
And then you're delirious and you just go in. You try to have a conversation with your daughter. Oh, no, no, I wouldn't. I don't think I've been drunk around the kids. Like when they're awake, you know, like obviously I've been, I've been drunk. Everyone's in bed by 830, I assume, right? Pretty much during the week. I mean, Miles will like on weekends, he'll stay up a little later and stuff like that. But what's his bedtime? Week, like for school night, 830, we get him in bed, you know. What grade is he in? Third grade.
Trying to think of when my bedtime was. Your bedtime was... You don't know the answer. I don't know why you're even attempting this. It's like, what the fuck? No, I know. I know. I remember. What is it? It was definitely before 9 p.m. I can remember that. No, it's not. Yes, it was. Why do you know that? Because I remember there was an episode of Monday Night Raw where the NWO put The Rock in an ambulance and hit him with a semi-truck.
And it happened at the onset of Raw. And Raw started at 9 p.m. that year, that time. And I called you to talk about it. And your dad answered the phone. So it was like 9, 10, maybe. And your dad answered the phone. And he goes, Frank, do you know what time it is? And I was like, and I just hung up. I just hung up on your dad. I told that story the other day. Didn't he call you a scumbag?
No, no, no, no. I'm sure he called me something not nice, but like, I don't remember. The only time I remember scumbag being involved is we were at, I was at your house for dinner and we were eating dinner, you know, your whole family at the table and someone brought up Barry Bonds. I was like, ah, that's scumbag. And your dad goes, we don't. He's like, we don't say scumbag. You can't.
I was like, oh shit. I didn't know like I didn't know that I can't say Scott like he's like he kept his hand like up here So like loaded fucking yeah, like like spring-loaded for when someone said something to slam it on the table Sucks growing up in my house. No sucks was pissed about that too. I remember I said it That sucks. He's like you don't say that and I think cuz it sounded like fuck I
I don't even know. No, I think sucks was just like an aggressive way of saying. And he's like, don't, don't. According to Miles. To this day, bro, I'm 31. If my dad calls me and he goes, he's like, no, the fucking, I'm sorry. Oh, he apologized? He apologized for cursing. That's cute. He's a gentleman.
According to Miles, crap is a curse word in our house. That's bullshit. Also, your fucking stepson comes up to me. And where... What was that? Why was I... My birthday, maybe? Oh, no. It was Danny's... Your fucking... Jameson's? Your nephew's birthday. And Miles comes up to me and he goes, you're in trouble. And I was like... Oh, yeah. Huh? And he's like...
You say a lot of curse words on the podcast. You do, you must. I was like, what about Kiki? And he was like, no. I'm like, what? Yeah, no, it's you, bitch. Fucking asshole, motherfucker. See? Miles! This is Patreon. Oh, no, it's not Patreon. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Frank's in trouble. Oh, what are you going to do? No, but like, one day, like, I forgot how I said it. I was just like, ah, crap. And he was like, Kiki?
Crap? Yeah, dude. He was like, don't let him take crap from us. I want crap so bad, dude. You want crap? Crap is such a goodie. I love crap. Just like, I don't give a fucking crap, dude. I mean, I guess fucking would be the problem, but like, I've said that before. Like, Becca said something. I was just like, I don't give a crap. Because it's the same shit as shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? I almost sat in some bird shit this morning.
Where was their bird shit? It was one of the most craziest bird shits I've ever seen. Where was their bird shit that you were sitting? It was outside of a coffee shop. Oh. And I was just waiting. And then like I like sat down in like these little chairs outside. But it was like a rusted thing. So it was kind of blending. Oh, like it was like the yellowish. No, no, no. It was like white, but some of the paint had come off. It was like a metal thing. And it was like kind of rusted. And there was a huge doody crap on it.
And I was- I almost sat in this fucking bird crap. That sucks. All over my corduroy pants. Oh, yes, corduroy pants. We filmed the video and I made fun of them. They're very corduroy. They're comfortable. They remind me of a bear. Like a little teddy bear with corduroy overalls or some stupid shit. I feel like a little doll. You look like a little boy. Why'd you say that with like a hick accent? Little boar.
Dude, I know someone that's from like Monmouth County, New Jersey and is like full on, like talks as if they are a fucking cowboy from Texas. And it is the most infuriating thing that I've ever come across in my entire life. I don't know what any of that means. I don't know Jersey. All right. I live in Ocean County. The county above us, closer to New York, is Monmouth County. Uh-huh. And it's like, I mean, there's some like rural part, like there's some farmland, but like... But it's not Yeehaw. But...
Bro, talking like fucking yeehaw. Yeah. Like I was at like a family event and this person was there with their kids and he was like full on talking to his kids like they're cattle. He was like, come on, bro. Come on. He's like, dude, you're from like, I know where you're from. Like, it's like where like fucking Bon Jovi is from. You know what I mean? Like, you're not. Jon Bon Jovi? Jon Bon Jovi. He's from Jersey? Yeah. Where you been? He's from like Old Bridge, I think.
Don't know what that is. I also don't really know much about it. Also fucking, what's his name? John Bon Jovi. What's his name? Bruce Springsteen. He's from. Oh yeah, that I knew. Yeah. The Turnpike. They love him. He loves that. I mean, I don't know why he would talk about the Turnpike. He's closer to the parkway. The Garden State. Yes. Yeah. I don't know. My fucking Jersey shit is limited. You named a thing you know. Good job. Yeah. You're going to move to Jersey. I feel it in my jellies.
I can see you moving to like North Jersey. Could you? Yeah. Okay. You don't think? Nope. Really? Hate the bridge, hate the tunnel. Well, you won't need to fuck with them if you live in Jersey. I guess if you want to come see your family, but... Yeah, what do you think? I'm just going to be in Jersey? I'm going to live in there forever? I forget that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No shot. Not a chance at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we'd like to talk about a very popular show that's now...
On the air. It's a show. It's a show. It's a show. Called? Naked Attraction. There you go. And you haven't really seen it. I've seen clips of it. So I think it's a British show. Perfect. Those fucking Brits, man. Can I say something? No. About the UK? Sure. They love tea. Yeah. It's great. But like, why? Because they stole it. And? Those fucking, I'm telling you, I read a book on this shit. Oh, because they, from China, right? Yeah. They like took it and they were like, oh, it's ours now.
We've always had this. Oh, India? It's ours now too. They put a, what's it called? Milk in it? It's like coffee, but it's not. They do. It's tea. They drink like blends mostly and they doctor them up with milk and sweeteners and stuff like that. And they're fucking idiots over there. It's kind of crazy though. Like every time I see a UK show and like the police show up to question somebody, like someone's making tea. Like, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, sh
That moda. You know. I do like a teacup and like the sound of a teacup. Oh, like get out and get out when she fucking like gets in. Not when it's like with, you know, black magic or whatever the fuck or white devil magic. Yeah, there it is. There it is. Good way to deflect against the whites being the enemy in that. Who's deflecting? You. Okay. The white.
No, you know, I heard recently that there's apparently like sirens in London or England as a whole. Like mermaids or like? Well, maybe maybe those two, but like not mythological sirens like like fucking like street posts, lampposts and the king. It's like a tea time or now now the king previously the queen. It's like a tea time thing. So they like press a button and like it goes off and like everyone needs to stop what they're doing for tea with the king.
Wait, wait, like on the streets? Yeah, like on the streets, like there'll be like, you know, like lampposts they look like, but they have big speakers on them. And the king will just be like, I think it's time. Time for tea. And he'll fucking press a button. And then everyone just have tea? And you're supposed to stop what you're doing and have tea. I don't really believe that. You don't need to. And I guess what? I mean, probably, but guess what? I don't care to fact check it. If it's a rumor, it's true. We might have the opportunity to speak to some Brits.
Soon so maybe we can ask them. I don't know. Yeah. Well, yeah, you know, we'll be able to figure that out but like yeah, they'll just be like the king is just like um, I Think it's time for tea, you know and like think it's like you're in the middle of like do you think that the king is Kermit the Frog? Why are you doing that voice? Um, I yeah, I think so. Is he not I don't know I'm not I don't think people like him as much as they liked her so like we can talk shit. Um
Really? Because I thought that when she died, a lot of people didn't like her. Oh, yeah. A lot of people didn't. Outside of the walls of the UK. Kingdom. Yeah. Like outside. People were just like... Anyway, Naked Attraction, please. Can you explain what the fuck the show is? It's a dating show. Oh, it's a dating show. Yes, dude. It's a dating show where like one person stands in a room, like on a set, and there'll be like six like pods. And in the pods will be a fucking fully naked person.
And they'll show you just their fucking lip-gump. Dick? Or the f- Puss. Yeah. And they'll be like, alright, what do you think about these mates up there? About these willies? Yeah. And like, one will be like a fucking big cock. Yeah. And then one will be like a little baby one. And they'll just be like, um, I really, I don't know if I like it. He's a little small. But then they pan up to show like their abs.
Like they'll show like just like from feet to fucking cock or feet to like, but they start with feet vagina. I don't know how they start. I haven't watched too many episodes. I haven't watched any episodes, but you have to, you have to, you have to. So this is probably not true, but like, so they show dicks. No, but the general, the general consensus is like, this is what happens. Like it's, they basically judge someone based off of their naked body without seeing their face.
And then do they eventually get dressed and walk out and they're like, oh no, you know, they like, they like pan up to like show like their chest. Oh, he's actually quite fit. And they show, then they show like their face. So like, you can get like a situation like you, where it's just like a really nice face and a super like whatever dick, you know, or like something like me, who's just like top to bottom, just average. Right. You know, I'll be honest.
Okay. But the description of the show was funny because I saw it and I was like, what the fuck? So the description of the show on Google is, Anna Richardson presents Naked Attraction, a dating show that begins where some dates may end. Naked. Singletons, I guess that's what they call people that are single. I hate that, dude. The UK is crazy. I hate that. Singletons get up close and personal as they meet for the first time in their birthday suits, stripped of all clothes, makeup, and status symbols.
The status symbols. Like someone pans up and it's the king. He's got like a medal of honor. He's fully naked except a purple heart. He's got a purple heart like stapled to him. The social experiment is inspired by... This is the part that drove me nuts. Inspired by evolutionary science where it is believed that in the past people selected mates based on physical appearance.
That's still going on. That's the thing of always. I think that like attraction. That's the thing of always. It's not like, it's not not a sentence. Contestants get in touch with their primal instincts as they narrow down their potential match from a group of six nude hopefuls.
Interesting. Dude, that's just like the way the world works. If you've got a big sloppy wiener, then you're probably like, oh, fuck all this shit. You're doing better for yourself, I would assume. Yeah. Well, sloppy. What? What makes a wiener sloppy? Well, if it's just like, you know, like, what the hell? That's a wild. Just like a teardrop? Just like a big water balloon? No, just like a whole set of bananas or something. What's that called? Bundle. Is it? Bundle of bananas? I thought it was called a... No, no, no. I think you're right. Bundle. It is. Okay. Or batch of bananas.
Maybe. Either way, big, fat, sloppy dick. I want a banana out of a barrel so bad, dude. Out of a barrel? Yeah, dude. Every video game I've played with bananas, they come in barrels. Just Donkey Kong. Well, that's still a lot of video games. That's one video game. Like, you know how sick it would be to go to the store and like, instead of having bananas in bags, they were just like, oh, it's a barrel. I would like a monkey to hand me a banana and then go, thank you.
Cause that's probably a good one. They know the good ones. I like the courteous, the, you know, the fucking tip of the cap at the end there. That was very kind of you. I saw a tick tock of a monkey being bathed the other day. I was fucking like, damn, I need a monkey bad. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure you can get one. They're not... Really? I think you probably... I don't think you're allowed. I don't think you're allowed, but you probably could. Like a little capuchin, a little monkey, you know, spider monkey. I don't know the names of them. You gotta be careful, dude. They'll fucking like tear your face to shreds and then like shit all over your house. No, no, no. Well, they're shitting all over your house. That's what kids do too. You can put diapers on them. That's what kids do too. So I guess, you know... That's fair, yeah. There's not much of a difference. Monkeys would be fucking fire though.
Do you really Would you go on that show Naked Attraction Absolutely not Never No As like the person judging Not being the judgee And just What I have to stare at Women's vaginas And like pick out My favorite I feel like Is there questions Can I ask questions I'm sure yeah They say like They have to talk to the dick And stuff It's like oh Like what's your What do you believe in And the dick like Fucking like stands up At attention And it's just like Imagine getting hard That's had to happen right
I don't know. Listen, all I know is I would have a tough time on that show, I would feel like. If I was the person selecting, how do you have a conversation with someone's fucking puss just staring right at you? Yeah, that's got to be... It's a toughie. And what are they asking? What are the questions? Is it like fucking the dating show? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. If we were on a first date, what would we do? And then your pussy's out and you're like, we're going to the movies? And someone just queefs. They're just like, hmm, great answer. Sorry, that was my... Boys...
That was a deep-voiced woman. Oh, you know what would be hysterical? If you just turn around and just like, if someone just like turned around and pooped. You're 31. You're 31. Also, we do have some sponsors for today. You just turned around and pooped. They just pooped on stage. Like, a poop just fell from their butt. You know, that happened. I went to the box and someone shit in a bag.
We do have Squarespace. Squarespace is where you can go on any, you can go on their website and you can create a website for yourself, whether you sell merchandise or you have, you know, you do social media and you want to promote yourself or something like that. You can do it with Squarespace. Squarespace, I think, is the best platform to use when you're creating your website and launching your website. They have a lot of templates so you can make your website look professional from the jump.
If there's like a new launch or even if you have a website now and you want to like rebrand or do whatever, I still suggest you do it through Squarespace. It is the best one. I've used other ones in the past. This is the best one by far. And they also have a lot of tools to help you with your traffic, monitoring that and knowing like where people are coming from and just helping you optimize, you know, your entire website overall. And you can...
go to squarespace.com slash basement for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay. So again, that is 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain when you use the offer code basement. So if you're looking to do that, which a lot of people are nowadays, you know, everyone's in the entrepreneurial spirit and they're starting a lot of stuff.
Create your website with Squarespace and let it look professional just like everyone else's, okay? So squarespace.com slash basement. Use that offer code basement for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And next here, we have FitBod. FitBod is great because FitBod...
Think that it's like educational on top of being you know One of the most optimal ways to actually have a workout routine because they understand that you know Not every workout plan is for everybody okay? So they will create one that is designed just for you and your goals whether you want to put on masks where they want to get lean or whatever you want to do they can find a way to Create a plan for that also You know availability if you don't have
a gym membership, or if you don't have like a lot of dumbbells or anything like that, they will also create a plan around those things as well. So if you just want to be in your living room and do body weight stuff, they can do that as well. But if you do have some dumbbells and things like that, and even if you're not really into fitness at all, they have over a thousand HD video tutorials on how to do certain things. So it is educational for people who want to step into the world of fitness for the first time in their lives. So it's great. And also super affordable and affordable.
Not only that, but you're going to save 25% off of your subscription at fitbod.me slash basement, spelled F-I-T-B-O-D dot me slash basement. So go check it out. Now's the time. You know, it's the winter. Usually this is around the time where people are like, all right, I really got to step it up and, you know, whatever. Don't wait until January 1st to start taking your fitness journey seriously. You can start right now. Go to fitbod.me slash basement for 25% off of that subscription.
You know what else you can do? Listen to me. I want to be a dominatrix again. You're going to go to Patreon. No, you don't want me to. What? Just be nice, right? Okay. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Folks, we tell people about our Patreon every single week, and I'm excited to tell you this, the exact same thing that I've always been telling you.
You sign up for that weekly, you know, that first year you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. That second year you get exclusive content. And boy, oh boy, do we got a whole lot load, big old fat old dumper of content coming your way over on patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. We've gotten to...
Over 26,000. We want to keep growing, baby. We're going to keep going, mowing, throwing, and bowing all the way up to 30, 50, maybe 400 million one day. You never know. Probably not. But patreon.com slash TheBasementUnited. We appreciate all the love, all the support. We want to keep growing. We want to get there. We want to bop, bop, bop to the top, as I've said before. You remember that. All right. Go check it out. Patreon.com slash TheBasementUnited. Joey, back to...
Back to you. Okay. But I do want to keep talking about the naked attraction thing. Yes, sir. Sir, yes, sir. No, that's not. I do want to keep talking about this thing that we were previously talking about. Not what I said. But haven't heard of that show. Haven't even seen that at all. But naked and afraid. Wild. I don't understand why that needs to be a thing. I don't either because most of the time when I'm naked, I'm afraid.
Of what? Just being naked. You never like sleep naked? Never. No. Why? Because I have to like get up with the kids. You didn't always have kids. I have slept naked in my life, but like I'm not like a big naked sleeper. Why? Because I like being like cozy and comfortable and like... What's more comfortable than rolling around in the sheets? Dude, I don't have like, what do they call them? A shower dick. You know what I mean? So like... It's just you in there. Oh, no. I mean, I assume like...
If I'm sleeping naked is because something happened before. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Sure. You think? Hold on. You think I'm just going to get up and be like, all right, time to go to bed and just get full fucking naked? Yep. Wild, dude.
What if I do that? What if there's like what if like piss gets on the bed and stuff like that? Don't piss in the middle of the night. I don't. I don't. How about that? I don't. But like that seems like you're like testing fate there. You know what I mean? You think a little skinny boxers is going to fucking stop the piss? It's just a comfort thing for me. It's like you always sleep with a blanket, right? Yeah. You ever sleep for the night on top of the blankets? I have. Stupid. Wild and wild that you've said that. I slept on top of the blankets. You're not afraid of getting murdered? No.
I've only done it blackout drunk in a pair of jeans. Oh, I fell asleep accidentally drunk. Dude, sleeping in jeans? That sucks. Your body reacts differently to that. Yeah, my fucking legs are sweating. You're never afraid when you're in the shower, like, oh, I'm going to fall, crack my head, and people are going to find me butt naked and dead. Literally never. Oh, that's a fear of mine. But you're dead. Who cares? I do. I don't want to be found. Like, if I die suddenly... Your dead dick is probably...
Whack so trash to my regular alive dick. It's trash. Imagine it imagine had no blood pumping through it I mean, yeah, it would just look like a balloon that you got at Party City It would just look like oh just just like a sad like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah look like a dead worm
It would. You know what it would look like? You ever see a bird that didn't fly and they kicked it out of the nest and now it's on the sidewalk? Dead. And it looks like that. Yeah. Listen, I could talk about my dick like this. I don't, I kind of don't like that you're talking about my dick like that. I'm talking about like our collective dick. Oh, the we of dicks. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Then I'm fine with that. I just meant in general, like a dead dick is probably like fucking trash. Oh my God. I've never seen one. I have a friend that is a mortician. You've never seen a dead dick? No. No.
Duh, okay, like obviously I thought you were saying that it's like you don't remember that fucking no, no That's what I thought. I have a friend that's a mortician and I've asked her I'm like, what are like dicks like dead? Tell me about the cocks of the dead. Yeah, I was like you say what you say She said like they're just they're just dicks and I was nothing cool. No, I don't think anything really cool happens but like I
I wondered, like, did they ever get hard? And she's like, no, their blood is not pumping. That's why they are considered dead. But sometimes they, like, still move. No. Yeah, they do. Bro, dead bodies move. No. Yes. No. I've heard that. I've heard that, like, sometimes. Oh, watch this. Everything that you heard about that sentence right there is not right. I've heard that, like, bodies have, like,
Just... It's like the nervous system's still, like, moving or something. There's still, like, a jolt in there. It's like a dead car battery. Like, it's still got something to get you home, but it might not fucking let you do it. I'll tell you this right now. What? If I'm at a wake and a body twitches... Punch. Punches. Punches, Frankie.
Oh, yeah, you gotta hit them. I've thought about, like, as a prank at my funeral, putting, like, doing, like, open casket and putting, like, a piston behind my back and a piston on the door. So it'd be... Or a closed casket. So, like, every now and then when someone's, like, praying over me or something, like, they're sad or whatever...
It just flies open in my body. It fucking just pops up. Can you imagine that? Hey, man. You've thought about doing that? Yeah. Weird. No. Weird thing. No, I don't think it's weird. Oh. It is, though. No. You'll pay for that if I die, right? Wrong. No? No. Hey, this casket, by the way, can we set it up to be a little prank?
Your mom would fucking kill me. People are crying and shit. No, this is evidence. They'll be like, oh, this is what Frankie wanted. I think if the dead people say they want something and then you don't give it to them, they haunt you. Do you think that we should be more playful with dead bodies? Like, you know, like at a wake, like they just sit there and they're like praying and stuff. Yeah, like put them in like this. I'm fucking so down for that, dude. Super chilling or something? Just like fucking, you know. Yeah, yeah. 100%, yeah. Or just like,
Oh, that would be, that would be. But like every single one's like, I'm just laying down. Like, yeah, I don't want fucking personality. I want some color when I'm dead. You know what I mean? Like a football, you know? Oh, all right. I would, I'd be cool with like a, like a beer in my hand. You know, a beer or like, even like a, like a rack under, like a case under my arm, you know what I'm saying? Oh, like a 30 rack. Like a 30 rack. And I'm just like, you know, uh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Something like that. It's like, well, I'm dead. Might as well, like, laugh about it. Dress me up. Stand me up. Yeah. Fuck these, like, caskets. I love it. Put me in a chair and let me sit there. And have people sit in my lap like I'm Santa Claus at the mall. I've thought about, also, I have plans for my funeral. Like, prop, stuff me and prop me up, like, against the wall.
Yeah. They've done that. Have they? I've seen a thing. I don't know what country it was in, but they just like put the guy with like sunglasses on. He sat him in a chair and people were like taking photos with him. Well, that's the other thing is I was thinking like, you know, like set it up, close casket, stuff me. Again, I'm getting stuffed here. Right. And you put me in like a trench coat and a hat and glasses and like in the last row of seats, just. Sitting. Just watching. Yeah. And like people come up to me and they're like, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, oh my God, this guy's freezing cold. And I'm just like.
This guy hasn't moved an inch. I think that we should be a little more playful with the dead bodies. Yeah. I think if the dead, like before they go, if they're like cool with it. Yeah. You're like, you know, like you don't want to like get like insensitive. You should buy like a cool package. You know, you should be able to buy like. There should be a fun. No, listen up. It's a clown package. Watch this. He's like a clown. Trademark copyright. We are coming up with like the first like hip, fun, cool, playful line of funeral homes. I'm just saying liven up the dead.
So like, you know, like you have like, we're all about having fun when we're alive. Oh, Chuck E. Cheese. Cool. I mean, let's have some more fun when we're dead. So like, it would be called like something like you, it'll be called like you can't spell funeral without fun. That's way too long. Or we put the fun in funeral. No. That'll be our tagline. Those are taglines. Or it can just be called fun hyphen a roll.
Think of it. Think of it, you know? And then it has to be like, we put the fun in funeral. Or like maybe just have like a food fight at the thing. Oh. You know, like when's the last time you had a food fight? Sixth grade. And you always talk about food fights. Sixth grade, yeah. So it's like you talk about food fights and be like, yo, those were so fun. Some people have never been in a food fight. Now imagine at a funeral, you're like, oh, thank God he died. Because now I get to have a food fight. I'm not even lying when I say this. I can't tell you how excited I just got to be the guy at the beginning of the food fight that sits up and goes...
And then you launch a pizza. And then someone just throws fucking beans across the room. Let me, I'm being completely serious right now. They need to be safe foods though. They can't be apples. No, no, no. Those are crazy. You know, you can't have. But just think about this for a second. Just think about this. Yeah. If that was the thing, somebody dies and the funeral is actually a food fight, right? One, we don't get dressed up in these ridiculous black suits. You can dex through that room up. You know what I mean? Yeah. We put up with that.
you know plastic plastic wrap you're good yeah and like you you some people like i said have never been in a food fight and food fights are fun for everybody and you get covered in food and everyone laughs and stuff and you get to throw like an you know a carton of eggs you know how your grandma and you look over and you see your good friend just get hit in the face with like pizza pizza what you're really sticking with pizza here i'm thinking softer foods like fucking like refried beans
Okay. You know, something that it hits and it splatters and looks like... You just smack mashed potatoes on your dead friend. Oh, yes. That's a cool last memory. I'm just like... Not this. That would be so fun. Yeah.
Oh my God. He's so like, he's so peaceful. I don't want to be peaceful. I don't want to be peaceful when I'm dead. I want to be fucking rock on, you know? Yeah. Play some music, dude. I mean, there are, there are like my grand, nope, uncle. Um, he had something, I think in like a Spanish culture is called like the five wishes, which you say it in Spanish by saying, uh, single wishes. Okay.
God, I'm right though. You aren't wrong. But in Colombia, his wake was... Because, bro, it's only the US that like... Our shit is so boring. Bro, it's really like only our culture and like a couple other that treat death as like the saddest. Like there are obviously instances, but like across the world, a lot of like people that die, it's viewed as like a celebration of their life. Right. And my uncle was like, yo, margaritas? Fire. Mariachi band?
Spanish Yeah well So the margaritas Yeah You didn't say that But like But the whites have taken over The margaritas kind of And the mariachis You know I'm telling you There's a Brooklyn band That calls themselves Like Los Mariachis Okay And they're like Three like white guys Like that like Have like a Mexican aunt One of them went to Mexico One time Yeah And they like They do like New wave mariachi music You know
They do a cover. Don't give me an example. Okay. No, so he had a mariachi band and margaritas. And, like, I think he said, like, there was other stuff, too, but, like, there was music, like. So you went to. No, I didn't go. I was in Columbia. My dad went, though, and he said it was dope, dude. That sounds fun. That's what I'm talking about, man. Margaritas at my fucking funeral, dude. That's what I want. I want, like, a fun-ass time. Yeah. Like, people can cry and be like, damn, he was sick.
But then also, like, I want everyone, like, fucking high-fiving because of how much fun they're having. Have a food fight at my shit. You know, like, we're having fun high-five? Like, when you're at a sports game and someone scores you, you're just like, yeah, and you just high-five a random person. Like, you high-five, and then you grab it, and you pull it down. Yes, yeah. I want my wake and funeral to be that. Come on. Yeah. All right. I think there's a Patreon episode where we previously planned our own funeral. You know what I like? Where, like...
Remember back in the day? I don't know why this was a thing. But like back in the day, I'm just picturing Remember the Titans where they would like spray paint an old car and they just beat it with a hammer. Oh no. You've never seen that? I've seen Remember the Titans, but I don't remember that being a thing, dude. It was like what they did for like their homecoming game or something. They would like spray paint it with like the name of the fucking other team. That's such an Alabama thing to do, dude.
But yo, smashing shit with a sledgehammer? Sick. Oh, if like our funeral was just like one of those like smash rooms where it's like you walk in, you get in protective gear and everyone gets an aluminum bat. No, no, no. You can't do that. There's old people around. Food fight though is safe. Food fight. But like also like it's like, oh, you can like. You can eat. You can smash a TV monitor and like pay your respects at the same time, you know?
That'd be sick. Just don't smash the coffin. We paid a lot of money for that. Nah, you can smash the coffin. You can give it a little love tap. It'll be closed, though. Or, like, it'll be clear, and I'll be standing up watching the smashing, and you can hit the coffin. You know what would be dope? If at my funeral, everyone could come up and sign my body like I'm in a cast. Like...
Like in sixth grade? I got signatures like, yo, he was the coolest guy on my face. Like in sixth grade? Like, I remember in sixth grade. Crank across my forehead. Everyone would, like, the last day of school would wear, like, a white t-shirt and people would sign it and shit like that. That would be fire. Sign my body, dude. Something cool. That would be pretty cool. Like, they can tattoo my corpse. I don't care at that point. Could you? That would be sick. Why not? Oh. They can, like, tattoo, like, something on my corpse and just be, like, you know, one of our friends would draw a penis. Naturally. Naturally.
You? Yeah, you draw, you dick drawing boy? Yeah. I would, I think those are really good ideas. How did we get here from naked in attraction? No idea. Naked attraction. Oh, I talked about dying naked in the shower. Right. I would not be sick. I don't think about that though at all. But I think that would be cool to liven up a funeral a little bit, throw a food fight in there, let grandma get hit with some peas.
Hilarious everyone bring like a bag of food. They want to throw it. Just like I said nothing dangerous. No apples. Nothing hard No, no, well no produce really unless it's mashed to produce bananas, dude You can throw a banana an unwrapped bananas Classic yeah, you know milk a lot of milk, of course milk juices and waters You know, you can get like grapes
Eggs you gotta be careful. You can do eggs, but like you gotta be careful because those shells are little. No hard-boiled eggs. Oh, no. You hurt somebody. Yeah. Eggs, the shells can really hurt someone. Like, I think I knew someone that got like, fucked their eye up permanently. But we can do helmets, I think, with like visors. Oh. And now we're good. Yeah.
That would be mad fun, dude. I want to have a food fight. Bro, do you think that would be a good fucking business thing? You know how they have smash rooms? What if you just went into a place and had a food fight with your boys and they provided the food? You're saying a lot here, Joey. I'm just saying, bitch! TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM, TM,
Just like boys just in here. Not in here. It's carpet. We just rent a room. That's just like. And throw stuff at it. Tile floors. And like, we just like, just have a food fight. That'd be so sick, dude.
Why is food fighting so fun? Because we're asshole Americans who waste so much food. There are people that are starving in the world. We can donate it at the end. No. After we've thrown it all over their bodies. You can't. We should say for every pound of food that we throw, we're going to donate two pounds to someone else. That makes sense. That would be better. If we open up the business, it'll be...
What's that called? Philanthropic? No, yeah, well, yeah. But I'm saying like a portion of the profits will go towards... Ending world hunger. Something. I think that's... We might be onto something, Joey. Because remember paintball? Food fight funeral. Food fight funeral. Food fight funeral. Triple F. I love that. Yeah. I'm kind of about that. Triple F funerals. You want to make your shit fun? Or do you want a fucking boring one where like... No, just be like, put the fun in funeral. Yeah. You're not the first person to say that, but I mean... Come on. Please...
No one's coined it. It's true. Well, we do have some more sponsors, and none of them are a really cool company that we just thought of. But they are cool companies nonetheless. Save that right there.
We have SimpliSafe. So listen, you want to keep your home safe? Of course you do. You don't want someone just breaking into your home and taking all the stuff that you worked your whole life for. So lock it up with SimpliSafe. It's a comprehensive protection for the whole home with advanced sensors that detect break-ins, fires, floods, and more. Plus HD cameras for both inside and out. Powered 24-7 professional monitoring. So if something happens in your home,
The proper authorities are alerted, and they're sent to the scene. So it's going to keep you safe, folks. Frank has it, so you can set it up in just a little bit. Okay, it doesn't take that long, maybe 30 minutes, something like that. Not a big deal, and it's easy. Super affordable. Its satisfaction is backed by SimpliSafe's money-back guarantee. Try SimpliSafe for 60 days risk-free. If you don't love it, return a system for a full refund. Okay, so...
There you go. What more do you need? For a limited time, our listeners can get a special 50% off any SimpliSafe system with Fast Protect Plan. Visit simplisafe.com slash basement for that. By the way, it is SimpliSafe spelled S-I-M-P-L-I-S-A-F-E dot com slash basement. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. So go in there and keep your stuff safe with SimpliSafe. Okay? And lastly here, we have prize picks. Prize picks...
This is the only way that I'm winning money these days because that's just what it is. I like to, you know, have some fun on Sundays. And with prize picks, it's a lot of fun. So it's basically, you know, it's a sports...
Where you can like go on and you will basically say like okay this specific player Patrick Mahomes Is he gonna throw over two touchdowns or more than two touchdowns or less than two touchdowns? And you make an entry just like that you put a couple of those together Travis Kelsey hit we all love him now, right? Is he gonna have over? 75 yards or or I mean is he gonna have more than 75 yards or less than 75 yards? So you pick one of those and then if both those happen now you're starting to win money
win money. Okay. And you could win up to 25 times your money if you play your cards right, uh, with prize picks. And it's a lot of fun and they have a bunch of sports. It's not just NFL. They also have NBA, they have NHL, they have WNBA, even though that just ended, uh, and everything else that you could need everything under the sun when it comes to sports, prize picks has it. It's very easy to understand. You don't have to know all this mumbo jumbo or anything. It's very easy more or less than the projection that prize picks makes. So, uh,
You can go to pricepicks.com slash basement and use the code basement for a first deposit match up to $100, which just means if you put in 50 bucks, they're going to put in 50 bucks. Now you have 100 bucks to play with. Okay. And that's up to 100. So if you put 100, they'll put 100. Now you have $200 to play with. There you go, folks. So pricepicks.com slash basement. Use the code basement for a first deposit match up to $100. Go have fun and enjoy. All right. All right.
Jesus yeah Anyway, I also want to talk about this dude who probably is one of the smartest men alive was because now he's in jail But the dude who like is he's been faking heart attacks in restaurants So you could skip out on the bill, which is a lovely way to do it Yeah, gentleman was arrested. I believe he was a 50 year old guy was arrested for skipping at faking heart attacks at 20 different restaurants and skipping out on the bill and
Fire idea, dude. I don't know if it was arrested here or elsewhere. How do you get caught? There has to be a level of like in like the legal system where it's like if it's so rad, you're just like, fuck, I can't. Yeah, just gap him up. Just like the fucking, you know, judge just like, don't do it again. I feel like if you commit a crime that isn't like one of the heinous ones, but like-
robbing a bank or something. I'm just like, all right, yeah, I get where that's going. No, those are bad, yeah. Are they? But it's just cash. Cash is fake. Yeah, but you're also putting the people that are, you know, in this situation through, you know, a traumatic event. Yeah, but if we just forget about those people. Oh, yeah, okay. Bank tellers are not people. Yeah, no, of course. Um...
It's not their money. But if it's cool, like Ocean's Eleven, if you're able to pull that off, I think that we should just give someone a high five. Yeah, dude, I agree. If you can rob a major casino like that. Do it. Not even just do it, but you should be allowed to. Because look at in Vegas. If you could pull some shit like that, they should just be like, you know what? All right. Okay. I think it's fire. But you need to put a movie together of it too.
Of course. Like there should be like a little asterisk at the end of like certain crimes. It's like, but if it's rad. Did you say that word right? Asterisk. Asterisk. Yeah, you did. Yep. I took me a while to like figure that word out just now. Wow. Tough, tough day for you, huh? Yeah. Hat's a little too tight around your head. So we're bullying. So we're going to bully. I'll bully you a little bit. Relax. I needed a second. I thought you said it wrong. This guy didn't deserve to be arrested. It's not asterick. No. No.
An asterisk. Look it up. You're not gonna believe me. So look it up. I believe you. Oh, wow. Thanks. You're welcome. Appreciate it. I promise I'm not lying to you. We're talking about crime. Now I'm wondering. Asterisk? Now I'm wondering. Asterisk. No, I think you're right. You are right. Asterisk. Asterisk. Asterisk? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm right. Risk. The cops should have just been like, listen, that wasn't cool, but like, that was fucking smart, dude. Yeah, yeah. But it also depends on where he's doing this shit.
Who? This guy. That's doing a heart attack. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, if you're skipping out on an Applebee's bill, give me a break. I mean, it's pretty cheap. Yeah. But if he's going to fucking... It's Dollarita's, dude. Yeah. Come on. Just pay your bill. If he's going to a five-star restaurant and he's doing that shit... That's dope. Pretty genius. Honestly, you should do it at those restaurants because clearly everything's overpriced. Yeah. And this is... I don't want to say a victimless crime...
No, there's a victim. There's some pretty clear victims here. The waiters. The people, yeah, they lose out on tips. If you're doing it at big chains, though, I'm okay with it. Yeah, no one cares enough. Like, go do it all day, every day at, like, an Olive Garden or something. No one cares much about that. Oh, yeah, no. You know I've never been to an Olive Garden? I have. Save yourself the time. Also, unlimited breadsticks, I'm not really incentivized. I don't even like breadsticks. They, like, are loaded with, like, butter and salt and garlic, so, like... I'm right back in. Love that. Yeah.
Are they hard or are they soft? I haven't been in over 10 years. But you have to know. I vaguely remember them being chewy. I'd rather that. I don't like a hard bread toffee.
Yeah. I mean, I like Astoria Bakery. When we were younger, we would always get their seeded breadsticks. Holy shit. I hate those. Oh, my God, dude. Seeded breadsticks in their heart? I hate that. They're so good, though. I hate them. My dad is disgusting, but my dad used to get like the... I think it's like Breakstone whipped butter. You know what I'm talking about? I do. And he would just dip the...
Fucking breadstick in there. Hence my dad's cholesterol. Just want to put that out there. Yeah, I was going to say... Blood pressure, cholesterol. Shouldn't be eating that much fucking butter. Yeah, didn't stop him the first 63 years of his life. Things happen. Yeah. People change.
Your dad was slamming a black and mild last time I saw him. It was cool. I mean, yeah, the sun came up and we'll fucking, you know, the day will go on. There are certain things, death taxes, my dad's smoking black and mild like he's a 13-year-old Puerto Rican. You smoked a black and mild? Never have. Right. I know you did. I remember you used to have packs of them in. Don't even. Joey. I don't have packs of black and milds. I've smoked like two in my life. That's bullshit. You had packs of black and milds. Packs? Packs.
No, I did not. Legit. I, and this is not a joke here. The only time besides my father and you that I've seen people smoke black and milds was in sixth grade. Like the kids like sneaking them in the fucking back stairwell. I don't know why I smoked. That's such a weird thing to smoke too. Someone gave me it. No, you had a pack. Frankie, I promise you, I did not go to a store and buy black and milds. I'd be so scared. Why would you be scared?
That people would know. Yeah, well, now they know. Now we're talking about it. I know, but I didn't do that. Which flavor? Was it the wine one? It was vanilla. Wine? Yeah, my dad has one that's like red wine flavor. And I'm like, dad, you've been sober for so long. If you're going to do that, you might as well just drink. This dude's smoking alcohol? Yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy, right? I wouldn't even want to smoke wine. I kind of would. I fucking love wine. There was like a wine. Are you a red wine or a white wine? Red. Red.
I'm a red guy. But not during the day. I mean, yeah, I'm not really drinking much wine now to begin with. Well, I'm just saying. And I'm not a sweet wines guy. So I'll do like a dry, you know, like a dry Riesling. You like a rosé? You like a rosé? I fuck with rosé. I mean, I think... You don't like rosé? I mean, I guess... Bitch. Okay. All right. Okay. I guess I like... You don't like rosé? I don't like rosé.
I've not had it enough to like make a hard stance on it. You gotta drink rosé in the sunlight, dude. Let the fucking sun hit your face and drink a rosé. I really don't though. You 100% do. I'm not kidding. Why? Because it's a fucking fire like experience of life. No, I'm pretty okay. Rosé. I've experienced a lot. During the day outside. I've experienced a lot in my life. The grass. Where I have. I'm through your face. Where I am able to quantify a better life without having done that. So fuck you for you to say I need to drink it. No, you need it. I'm not. Fuck you.
Rosé. Tell me you drink Frosé too. Fuck yes. You're so... Frosé's fire. Dude, you're... And I have no qualms. I'll walk up there. How you doing? Heterosexual man, give me the fucking Frosé. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, who cares? Honestly, if we're being honest... People care though. People care. If we're being honest, these like... First of all, why are there gay drinks? But like... Oh, no, there's some gay drinks. But like the gayer the drink, the better the drink, dude. No, I'm not kidding. The gayer the drink... Listen, I...
There's a lot of people who say that we gay bait sometimes on the show. This is not baiting the gays at all. But when I went to fucking Citi Field, it was gay night. I didn't know until I showed up. When did you go to Citi Field? This was last season. But it was like Pride Night or whatever. Sweet. Relax. We get it. You're a fucking... Damn right. There's nothing wrong. They're the same. No freedom to all equal. Damn right I support it.
But I went and they had a signature pride drink and I don't even know what the fuck was in it But I was like, oh I'm gonna get this cuz someone got it and I was like, oh what the hell is that? And like I don't know it's like a pride drink some got some fucking person and I was like, alright I'm gonna get that it was fucking sick bro the gay or the drink the gay and I hate that we've described like there's straight drinks and there's gay drink but like whatever people consider gay drinks are way better than
Like, oh, you can either have this delicious, fruity cocktail with mint, or you can have this fucking scotch that tastes like it just came out of an old man's boot. I hate that shit. I do like scotch, but there's a clear winner there, babe. I need to be in front of a fireplace if I'm drinking scotch and talking about a book or something.
I love how that like alcohol culture is just taken down. It's like you're gonna choke this down and be a man and it's gonna burn your whole fucking mouth. No, it's good! I swear! Yeah, dude, give me a fucking... Just give me like a passion fruit mojito. Oh! No, no, no. I don't really... I mean, it's okay. Passion fruit margarita though. What? Passion fruit margaritas are fucking crazy, bro. Cut that clip. You started that...
Because of Passionfruit Margarita There's a place on fucking Broadway in Astoria I forget the name of it But they have a Passionfruit Margarita Blow your nose Blow my back I drank two of them I had an ulcer It was great Oh what? Not an ulcer But I had like I was like yo That was way too much sugar Oh well You're not really doing yourself justice here Just No no no But it's incredible It's just I hadn't eaten that day Mango Margarita
I love margaritas. Dude. I mean, but like- So simple. But like, why? Like, like Mai Tai. I've never had a Mai Tai. I don't even know what that is. I don't either. But like a tequila sunrise, good drink. Is that orange juice? Orange juice, grenadine, and tequila. That sounds great to me. What's wrong with that? Nothing. You know, martinis? Dude. Disgusting shit. No, delicious. Yeah, no, disgusting shit. Delicious. God.
Shut the fuck up. Disgusting shit. They're not. Maybe you should have a fucking more refined palate, you fucking piece of shit. Oh, okay. Vodka and the juice in an olive jar. Yeah, it's delicious. It's really good. Yeah, that's real cool. It's really good. No, it's gross. Oh, man. Also, drinking like a Kettle One fucking vodka. No, any times I've gotten them, I'd be like, yo, give me Belvedere or give me fucking Goose, baby.
Oh, Grey Goose. Oh, look, the Great Gatsby's here. Grey Goose. I'm not a vodka guy. Only in two ways will I have vodka. In a martini and in a bloody, baby. Oh, disgusting shit. I love him so much. A good fat bloody. A bellini, dude. But that's champagne.
It's Prosecco, yeah. Is that champagne? I think it's... You can only be called champagne if you're from a certain region in France. Oh, man. It's fucking... Come on. Sparkling white wine. Champagne. We've talked about this ad nauseum both on our Patreon-exclusive brunch episode where we got fucking hammered. We should do that again soon. Should we? For fun? Okay. Like a Christmas...
What? Why did I say it like that? I wish I liked eggnog because I would just get hammered off of that and throw up in a bucket. But I'm not going to do that, dude. Eggnog is disgusting, too. I like eggnog. It's good. I mean, but I can't have more than two, you know, because then I would be... And I also don't like spiced rum. Spiced rum is disgusting. You know, but I guess we should make that a Patreon goal. We have like four goals lined up for Patreon right now that we need to... We should get blasted. Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving?
What's a Thanksgiving drink? Like a cranberry apple seltzer. Ugh. Apple cider shit sucks. No, I like good apple cider. Like, not like the fucking store-bought mass-produced. You said this, but I'm saying like apple cider donuts. Good. Good. Cider beers. They're not beers. They're ciders. Whatever. It's just cool apple juice. Angry orchard? Disgusting. Disgusting. Get them away from me. Don't literally, if you bring them in my sight, I will violently attack you.
Okay. Yeah, let's get drunk soon. What was that? Okay, you could bring your 8% beers No, and then you get fucking loose if I know I guess no, huh? No, I don't know what you're saying. That was easy. No You can say no I did. Yeah, and it will stick. Okay until you pressure me into saying yes, I
That's usually how that works, isn't it? That's pretty much, yeah. Please, for the love of God, mimosa will get me going. Put a rosé outside, dude. I'm telling you right now. We should make a basement yard signature cocktail. Bro, do you know how badly I want to make alcohol? Dude, why not? I don't, I, yeah. I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I have said this before. If you had to make an alcohol, which one would you make? I think it would be so cool if we partnered with a brewery and we made the basement brew.
The basement brewery. And it's like our brand of like, our like limited edition beer. But you could also like make a wine too. Cause like a lot of like old Italian people would make wines in their basement. Yeah, but no one's, no, we are not like, if there's a drink that is representative of our show, it's either beer or beer.
I feel like you're just saying that. I think that's true. I don't think people would define this as like a wine show. You're a big wine guy. I love wine. Just because you go to fucking Portugal and buy boxes of it and shit like that. Fuck you. One box. One box. One box. So stupid. I drank a bottle of that the other night. Was it good? Was it? I didn't even finish it. You drank it. I drank a lot of wine because I drank it.
Some of it and then I went to dinner and then when I came home I poured a glass of it and i'm looking at it and obviously I drank while I was at dinner and I was like shouldn't drink this and I put it in the fridge. Oh Uncovered just in a glass. Yeah. Okay bad. I hope you threw that out the next morning. I drank it Oh the next night. Yeah bad Uncovered we're good. I made it Well, it was too good to throw away now. You wonder why you have ibs. It was like a 60 dollar bottle of wine
So what? A glass was six bucks? You think there's ten glasses of wine in a bottle? Yeah. No. There's like four. Oh, okay. So a $12, $15. You're fine, Joey. You're a fucking big billionaire bitch. I would like to make an alcohol, though. I think, dude. Think about this. Listen, call up the guys. You know the guys. Call up the guys at Secret Handshake Food Co.,
Oh, that's you. Hi. Make it happen. I know. I would love to. I want to be in on this one. Think about this. I want to be in on the testing. Think about this. Imagine we made something like a rosé, right? Which we wouldn't make a rosé, but I'm just saying, imagine that. And then we just do Patreon episodes where you fucking...
Get sloshed on. On our own... But they say never get high on your own supply, Joey. You don't remember when Notorious Biggie... Yeah, that was about crack cocaine. This is Rosé, baby. All right, okay. There were two white girls. Let's do it. I'll back it, baby. I'm 100% in. Consider me an investor. I'm not gonna. Oh. But anyway...
That's kind of where we can end this, right? Frank, where can I find you? Ifalvers885 on Twitter, thefrankalvers on all the forums, social media. You can also find me being very upset that you just denied my investing opportunity. And how much are you going to invest? $20,000. All right. Is that good? We'll see. I've never done this. I don't know if I have that to invest. There you go. Okay. And then the Patreon, patreon.com slash basemannard. I love you folks. This is all... I'm not actually upset.
We're going to pretend that didn't happen. Guys, you can go follow me at JoeSanagato. Go follow the show at TheBaseMedia on TikTok and Instagram. And that is all. See you guys next time. Daddy has to pee. Who's that? Me. I'm Daddy. Got it. See ya.