Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
HelloFresh offers tons of seasonal options every single week. Use the code 50BASEMENT for 50% off plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com slash 50BASEMENT. Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the basement yard. Uh, Frank, that's a lovely shirt you got on there. AHHHHH!
Happy Halloween. Well, fuck them. They always make noise. I also have another one that says the basement yard. There's a little heart. Show them the back, bitch. Look at the back. Throw that back out. Don't. That's not. I don't think it's a saying either. Throw that ass in a circle. Throw that ass in a fucking rectangle. Oh, look at the basement, boys. We're kind of stuck together. Hold on.
Here we go. Come on. Dude, honestly? Whoa. Not even a joke? Wow. Really good. You look great. Yeah? Yeah, you look really good. My arm hurts. We're falling apart. Yeah, I don't know. I can't do this, but I can go like this. You ready? Yeah! I'm getting it!
New merch. Okay, we're screaming now. Yeah, there's new merch available. Shop.sandagottastudios.com. That... Just in time for the holidays. Look at there. We're the Sanderson sisters. That's me, Danny, and... That's Danny, not Ant. It does look like Ant, though. A lot of people are confused because he has those stupid glasses. But you can't tell because it's below. No cargo shorts down here. No, no, no. That's how you can tell it's Danny. That's how you know it's not Ant. That's how you know. Yeah, but that's the Sandagottastudios. Sanderson...
Halloween merch hey, baby listen. We're seasonal babes over here. We like to make sure that you're ready for whatever's coming up That's me and you and drag by the way uh no shit Joey of course I fucking knew that because I said that you did look like Sarah Jessica Parker in quite possibly the greatest Halloween movie to ever exist Hocus Pocus Wow and I did I guess in theory look like Winifred You know so you wish you wish you I do I kind of do sure
Bro, watch that movie again. I know, I know. You're going to say it was the best performance you've ever seen. What are the best? She's so good. It's a witch movie. Take it easy. Don't you dare talk shit about Kenny Ortega's fucking 90s classic, okay? Who? Kenny Ortega? Yeah, bitch. Don't even fucking start with me. I don't even know what that is.
What was I going to? Oh, I saw a thing. Someone was like, oh, this podcast talked about you. I forget the name. I really want to know if something Smosh, Smosh, something like that. Oh, Smosh? No, I don't know. I don't know what it is. I was going to say Smosh is not some podcast. I'm not trying to. I really don't know. I'm not trying to be cool. Oh, I don't even. Oh, well, do the muscles again. Then you'll be too cool, Joe. There he is. But these two people. There it is. But these. It was a podcast and they were talking. They brought up the basement yard and I thought it was funny because I was like, I wonder what they said.
You know me, insecure. I wanted to know. I was going to go narcissistic. But okay, insecure is fine too. That works. But...
They were like, the guy was trying to explain it to the co-host. And he was like, yeah, it's just two guys from the East Coast. And I don't think they talk about anything. Nothing. I was dying, dude. Someone, I mean, our friend Reese was the one that put it the best. She's like, they just talk about nothing. They're incoherent. It's head happening. They're not offensive. They're incoherent. And then he also pointed out how like,
We just yell at each other. That is it. That is pretty much it. Because you do a lot to... I think this show has been really cathartic for us because it's allowed us to talk through the things that we've hated each other silently maybe for like 30 years. You know, your eating habits. You don't have to list anything. I'm going to list all of them right now. You don't have to do that. But it allows us to just kind of
Vented? Stop! Oh my god, he's back. See, this is what happens when I try to talk serious to you. He flexes his muscles and then the girls swoon.
It's 1953 all over again. Can I ask a question? No. I said no. Oh, yeah, but I don't... Can anyone swoon or is that just like Japanese? I think girls... Whoa, where? I feel like that's a Japanese thing, no? I thought it was like a middle America 1950s. Definitely not middle America, chief. Swooning? No, swooning I thought was like... No, I think that's like... Like anime shit. I thought that was just like, you know, like that's not swooning. Swooning is like a...
Like you're giving your body to it. Like you're just kind of melting for the fucking... Like floating when you smell something nice. Yeah, like you know how like the apple pie is cooling. What are you? You're fingering something in one. Listen to me. I'm listening. You know like the cartoon they put the apple pie to chill. Yeah. To cool down on the windowsill. And the fucking like scent line comes and grabs him by the nose. And it just fucking... Yeah, yeah. That's swooning in my head.
No, I think swooning is like, when I picture swooning, I picture like anime when the cheeks get real red and the eyes get super big and watery. Oh no, I was going to say they like close and they're just like sideways Vs and it's like, oh, like that, you know? Yeah,
You're really like... It's getting blurry. You're really toeing that line. It's getting blurry. It's getting blurry. Yeah, yeah. It's getting blurry for sure. I don't know what the like anime response would be considered, but when I think of swooning, I think of like a crooner, you know, who like... Or like Elvis Presley is up there and he fucking shakes his... He does that, that move that he does. And the girl's like, oh. And they're like...
Oh, yes, exactly. That's swooning. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really know what it means, to be honest with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought it was. Can I ask a serious question? No idea. How this came up? How did swoon come up? Oh, because I flexed and you said people swoon. Oh, the girls do swoon. The girls do swoon. And it's okay. But I'm going to be muscles.
Well, you're gonna who? Be Muscles, baby. Got it. How you doing, Joey? I'm doing well. Other than the fact that I just flexed it now, like, my butt. It hurt, right? I'm just sore. You ever flex and you feel like a pop, like, by your balls, and you're like, that was a problem? No, that would immediately send me to the fucking hospital. I'd be so scared. I'd be like, I popped my balls. My nut is popped. Maybe I have a hernia or something. Who knows? We'll find out one day. I used to have a knot in my back for years.
Anytime I did left it. I was like feels like someone's stabbing me in the back cares Joey. Oh, okay I don't care. Oh, I didn't know I'm caring more about what you're like ball area. Oh, yeah You think I care about a knot in your back? Yeah, I guess work that shit out. Okay. Come on. I've tried on it It's it just see how he casually just threw in there that he deadlifts. I would be like deadlifted in years I have it. Oh, yeah, but now you just do all those squats and muscles but shoulder muscle workouts, huh? Yeah, I guess that's what it is
No. I got made fun of once during college because... I'm sure it was one time. Just one. I'm sure it was once, yeah. Just one time. Because we had like a kind of like an in-service type training thing for being an RA and an RD or whatever. And we had like this like...
young woman come in who was attractive you know and i was a single guy at the time oh so you were like oh so i was like oh i need so you were swooning i was trying i don't i don't i don't actively remember trying to swoon but like i was clearly like it was a good looking person but i got made fun of you were good looking is that you just said yes oh i didn't know yeah but also they were too and naturally naturally i'm good looking they're good looking if they're not with me
That big mistake. Big ol' fat ol' mistake. Also, you're an alpha male. You deserve any woman you please. I am big ol' alpha. I did learn that from Frankie Skins. He taught me the ways. Right. I know you've been trying to get me to be more beta, but fuck no. Got it. But I got made fun of because I didn't like, so, I consciously didn't try to like flirt.
But afterward I was told that I was being such a like subconscious douchebag where like the question that was posed to the room, I was with my friends Kelsey and Eric, and the question that was posed to the room was like, give us an example of like really good customer service. - Oh no, dude. - And my fucking hand went right up. And I told a story how I ordered a bunch of supplements from bodybuilding.com.
And like in my head, I was telling this story as it was. And it was good customer service. Yeah. Anyway, I had a story. No, it was. It was like, it was. I remember it was like legit good customer service where I ordered a bunch of supplements, but they sent something wrong. So they were like, you know what? Don't worry about it. We're going to send everything again. And I was like, only one thing was wrong. They were like, don't worry. And I thought that was so like impressive. But afterward, I was toasted to fucking shreds because they were just like,
You douchebag. And I was like, what do you mean? They're like, you're just talking about bodybuilding.com. And you're like, and then I had double the supplements. So I just like upped my dosage. Yeah. And I've been, my lifts went up 50 pounds. It's funny because that was the order where I, it was the first time I ever got and tried creatine. You did creatine? I did creatine. It didn't work. And I, I like my stomach was all fucked up and I,
I was like an emotional mess. Emotional. Emotional. Emotional mess. I was like a super fucking juice head for like four weeks. Does it do that? I mean, I never did anything, honestly. I mean, you know. I mean, look at me. Yeah. No one's thinking I'm on anything. I just haven't tried anything. You know, I've never done anything. Swear to God. Yeah. It's all natural. I've done pre-workout like three times.
I just said that like a baby. You said that like a baby. I just did a pee walk out. I did a pre-workout. What flavor? Gummy bale? Gummy bale. Guape. Guape.
I did it. That's weird. But I did pre-workout like a couple of times, and I don't like it. Oh, my God. The caffeine is just... I had to like... I don't have an addictive personality, but for pre-workout, I was a full fucking junkie, dude. Yeah? I was a full fat junkie. Yeah, you're like, let's do it. Well, when pre-workout came to its prominence was when we were like... It was like 2011, 2012, around that time. Yeah.
And it was unregulated, dude. Like, that's the thing with all these workout supplements is, like, you run the risk. It's like they're not FDA approved. So it could be just, like, concrete dust. No Explode? You remember that? Dude, the original C4. Oh, yeah. Those are... I took that and I fucking, like... You ever seen, like, movies about drugs where, like, the fucking, like... Yeah, yeah.
Yo, I was a crack fiend. I also don't like working out like that. Oh my God. They were the best workouts I've ever had in my life. No, I didn't. And the pre-workout helped me. I did the whole program of Insanity. Remember Insanity? I do. I did that whole fucking program and it was because I was on pre-workout. I did it in one day. I did it in one day.
Every day in one hour. Yeah, exactly. It was fucking nuts. I have a douchebag story. How many? No, no, no. Quite a bit. It's one of those things where it's like, oh, you're flexing, but it has to do with pre-workout. There was one time, as a joke, Josh brought pre-workout to one of our football games. Josh, a lot of people don't realize this, big fucking meathead. Big meathead. You think he's cute? He is, but also just a giant fucking meat stack. Yeah, he's wearing a headband over his bicep right now while he's editing.
He broke the keyboard but one time he broke pre-workout to a football game of ours and I was he brought two I think and I was like, oh I'll slam this. Yeah, so I drank it. Yeah, and I was like, oh I know and I was like and it was like scary and then I The team that we were playing against like drove down the field and then I had a pick six So but it was like basically the length of the field so I had drank the pre-workout and then I I
pick off the ball and run whatever the length of the field i got in the end zone and i didn't even celebrate i was like i'm not i'm not playing i literally was i thought i was gonna have a heart attack i was like yo i'm done i'm done i had to sit down i was like where i'm sitting now because my heart was just like yeah and then because i remember the original because danny and i used to do them not like like fucking like snort lines of them but like he would take a pre-workout try i would take and like we'd go back and forth like that
And then a lot of the original batches were recalled for traces of amphetamines and stuff like that. Nice. So I was fucking doing meth. Didn't you say someone just named their kid Meth? Yes, it was some Australian news anchor, but we're not talking about that today. Meth.
Yeah, crazy. Great. Amphetamine is a really nice word. It sounds good, right? Methamphetamine. Meth doesn't sound like, it just sounds like you're trying to- You just say the whole word, dude. Yeah. Methamphetamine. That's a really, I, that- You know what name I like for a kid? Chlamydia. No. Oh, what? What the fuck? No. No, I like amphibian.
Amphibian. What's with your family and these just off-brand names? I'm not going to name a child Amphibian. I'm just saying that would be a cool name, like Amphibian. Yeah. Hi, this is my son, Amphibian. And for a girl, it'd be Amphibia. No, I mean, it could. But also, like... You gotta think of nicknames. It's like a unisex. You gotta think of nicknames. Phoebe. Phoebe? That sucks. Am...
I remember... Fibs. Fibs. Fibs isn't bad. But with these pre-workouts, they would name them after just the most insane shit ever. It'd be like, oh, did you try this new pre-workout? It's called The Curse. Yeah. I was like, no, the one I'm taking is called Ass Killer. They just like... The branding and the world of supplements and working out. The one that I had that I was like, I'm never doing pre-workout again was called Assault. I swear to God, it was just called Assault. Assault.
There was a muscle farm makes it and it's called assault. Yeah, it's like this is fucking there was one that I took that was called like something It was called like like snake venom. It's just like weird shit out I the branding in the world of like workout supplements is all over the place Yeah, because it's just and and then it'll be like I'll get ready to take the devil's come and it's the best intro workout You'll ever get it'll explode you and it's just
Gummy bear flavor. Yeah. And it's also like, that's like weeds. I remember when I was in Denver, we went to a dispensary and the guy's like, if you guys want to try this, it's really good. Makes you like chill a little bit. It's called jet fuel. I was like, don't.
That doesn't sound like that's what that does. Some of the strands are crazy. We have the movie Ted to thank for all those. Remember the movie Ted? I do, but I don't remember this. Because he's like, I have a bunch of different strands. This one is called They're Coming, They're Coming. This one is just called Autism.
Yeah, dude. Yeah, it's, it's, uh, you don't take anything now. You just, what? You just take like a protein after? Yeah, that's it. Okay. There's a, there's like a specific protein that I like found that doesn't blow up my stomach. Doesn't fuck you up. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I don't even like for a while, I didn't even take protein either because it's like, it just didn't like. The way your body doesn't react well to the way. I guess. I don't know. Like the one I take now is like plant-based shit. Oh yeah. Yeah. So then it's the way. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like, I don't, I don't know. I don't even like all the, there's this, I don't know.
It's like a workout podcast. Yeah, it's like, welcome back. It's like, anyway, welcome back, shit stack. Let's talk about my fucking routine. We're back in the fucking basement yard. Oh, God. So anything else going on? Are you doing all right? Yeah. I'm feeling not myself. Why not? I'm feeling a little maybe like I've
Gayer You know Maybe like I wanna eat Human flesh Hey maybe Maybe Is that gay? Good question Are zombies gay? I mean yo You biting a dude's neck That's fucking gay That's crazy dude You're gonna eat a guy? Does sexuality cover Does sexuality convert Over into Zombies Like if fucking Like If fucking Neil Patrick Harris Were to become a zombie Is he only eating dudes?
Yeah. You know? That's a really good question. Yeah. I don't know. You think zombies get at each other? They'd be like, oh, does she eat a guy? It's like, who did you, what did you eat last night? You know? And it's like, oh my God. It's like a Nepali, like, you know, immigrant. What? A poly immigrant? Nepal. Nepal? Nepal, Joey. I thought poly, and I was like, what does that mean? Oh, maybe, I mean poly. Multiple, like, citizenships or something? Poly. If they have, like, multiple citizenships, they're a poly immigrant. I gotta be honest with you. I'm sure poly is somewhere in the LGBTQ plus. Polyamorous? Yeah.
Maybe. Do you know what that is? I don't know. Yes, that I know. It's like people that like multiple partners. Yes. Yeah. See? Good job, Frank. Yeah. If only you knew what women's suffrage was. You know. But the reason I'm saying all this is because I don't know if I'm ever going to recover that...
That national text alert that went out really turned my gears. That's not an expression, but it turned my gears. I'm obviously joking. Make sure that we establish that. I didn't know this. Frank had to tell me right before we started recording, but apparently there was conspiracy theories that the national text alert thing that went out
There was people saying that it like is going to turn vaccinated people into zombies. Everything. Zombies, gay, you know, like anything could turn you gay. Now I love AOC. I can't say where that came from. Right. Yeah. But it could have been because of that alert. At this point in time. Yeah. Seriously. We all deserve to die.
We do. Dude. Like, it has gotten so, like, listen, I am all about, like, freedom of speech, land of the free. If only we could speak correctly, yeah. I am all about that. But it has come to a level where it's just like...
It's got on a hand. Like, we need... I mean, I don't think that, like, a big percentage of people believe... I know, but enough of them do that they should die. Okay. No, maybe not. That's a little harsh, huh? That's crazy, dude. But it is kind of crazy. Can you imagine, like, a loud enough... Hello. Take it. A loud enough sound could make you gay? Well, it reminds me of Halloween 3, Season of the Witch. It reminds me of The Naked Gun.
Remember that? I don't remember the naked gun. You definitely don't remember my example. So you explain first and I'll explain second. It was like fucking, you know, the naked gun, obviously. Yeah. So like there was a player who I should know, but I don't know right now. But in the movie that like this guy like pressed a button and then all of a sudden he was like under control and he was like trying to kill the queen. Oh, why would a queen have a fucking baseball game? Yeah. Oh, mine's better.
Halloween 3, Season of the Witch. I feel like it's subjective. I feel like we should let the people decide whose is better. I think mine is way better, if we're being honest with you. Go. It's when there's Clover. They have the Halloween masks, and they tell the kids to put the Halloween masks on. Who?
it's it's a movie joey clover it's called yeah i believe it's like clover farms or something it's it's maybe that's an actual company but it's in the movie and they put the halloween masks on and they're like everyone put the mask on and watch this commercial and the commercial comes out and all the kids die and stuff like that because they're wearing a mask yeah that's the thing is i think the conspiracy theorists are saying that like oh biden diane feinstein who's not dead
She's not dead either? No, she just died. No, I know that. But to them, I mean... She's alive. Of course. She's a reptile, dude. She's amphibian. Holy shit. We can kill... Holy shit. Joey just revealed his fucking lizard king ways. He's fucking... That's why he wants to name his kid amphibian. Yeah. Because you're a fucking... I'll tell you what. Blood drinking... Lizard person? Cold blooded lizard person. That started to sound like Ric Flair. Cold blooded, child blood drinking...
Son of a gun! I will say this, though. If I... I would love to be a lizard person because I would love to blink this way. You know when lizards blink sideways? Well, it's... They have, like, a lid under their lid, so, like, that one closes first the regular way and then that one goes. Yeah. Oh, dude, sometimes my dog falls asleep and it looks like he's doing The Undertaker or whatever. And then, like, he opens his eyes and I'm like, how many fucking lids do you have? Yeah, he's got quite a few lids. He's got one that goes this way, this way. I'm like, too many lids. I would like it because...
In my head, if there are lizard people out there, they're basically just reptile from Mortal Kombat. They can go invisible. They can transform and look like other people. That'd be so cool. And they can like spit acid, which I'm all about that. If I could spit acid. Dude, you know how sick it would be to just be like, oh, this door's locked?
And then just fucking, oh, the lock is gone. I'm going to walk into this door. How often do you run into a locked door where you're like, I can't get to the... Not often. Yeah, I know. But it would happen. The one time it happens would justify the whole transformation. If you could turn invisible, would you do shit? Yes. What kind of shit would you do, though? Steal.
Oh, I'd be a criminal. Would you spy? I mean, I don't have anything in my life to spy on. Like, what would I spy on? There's always shit to spy on. What would I spy on? Dude, you can walk into the White House if you want to. Oh, I don't care about that. I'll be honest with you. I don't care about what's happening in the White House. Yeah, but I'm sure the White House has, like, heat ray technology that, like, if I'm invisible, they could see me. You know? That's fair. And who knows? Joe Biden, he might have...
gone to another... Joe Biden, dude, you'll never know. He might have gone to another level of demented where, like, he can see people that are invisible and shit. I'll walk in and be like, oh, it's B-Dop. He's here. He's like... Joe Biden's like a blind person. It's like he can't see, but he can, like, feel you somehow. Oh, wait a second. He can see the rain like Ben Affleck. If it's raining out, Joe Biden can see perfectly. Oh, there's a world on fire. I can see it all. Yeah. Can you imagine Joe Biden was like...
This isn't funny. It is to us. It is to us. I was just going to say, I imagine Joe Biden was like really good with nunchucks.
Well, there's always something that brings them back, you know? Wouldn't that be cool? This is how I think we should vote for president. One, you shouldn't be a thousand years old. Duh. Got that, yeah. Two, you need to be able to do, like, I would say at least 30 push-ups straight. There needs to be a physical component to it. And a talent show. If you want to be president in this country, you should have a cool little thing about you. Well, I mean, let's be honest. We might not have enjoyed him as a president, but...
It was entertaining as shit to watch Trump, you know? And I mean, everyone has something, you know? Like, Trump was a comedian. Barack Obama was just fucking hook shots and three-pointers for days. He had a lefty stroke, yeah. What did Bush have? He was... 9-11? Go...
We bring up 9-11 way too much. We do, but it's okay. Someone actually said that when the Roman Empire thing was like, you guys don't think of the Roman Empire, but you think of 9-11. We do. That is a good point. But like Clinton had the saxophone. Yes. George H. Bush had...
Nothing I don't know I don't know what he had That's past my time now I don't know Yeah our time Same age Well that's what I'm Yeah Reagan was an actor So there's some talent there Right You know I mean there needs to be Some form of a talent He needs a hobby He doesn't do any hobbies And I'm saying like Get America's Got Talent That crew Get them to watch these Like get them to audit You know do the debates
I want Simon Cowell, Nicole Schlesinger, whatever her name is, Howard Stern. Nicole Schwangerbanger. Yeah, whatever. Nicole Swingbanger? Schweinbacher? Schlesinger? Scherzlinger? Scherzdinger? No. Schwerz... No, hold on. I knew it. I knew it. I was making a joke and now I don't know it. Nicole Scherzinger. Scherzinger. Scherzinger. Scherzinger. Is that right? They should do like an America's Got Talent at these debates. So like Chris Christie gets up there and he does like the truffle shuffle from the Goonies and like...
You know, everyone claps a little bit. He eats a pie or something. Yeah. And then like, you know. Dude, that's a weirdly shaped man. He literally looks like Humpty Dumpty. Yeah, it's pretty weird. Did you see his, like he tried, he thought he was going to have like the lion of the century on Donald Trump.
Oh my god, it's so uncomfortable. So they had a Republican debate not long ago. And he was like, Donald Trump, I know why you're not here. It's not because of the indictments. It's not because of this. It's because you're ducking us. So we're not going to call you Donald Trump. We're going to call you. And he teased it up. And he's like, Donald Duck. And no one said a word. No one gave a fuck. Good lord, Chris Christie.
Shout out Jersey. Don't do that. What? Shout out Queens. What's that mean? Donald Trump. You take him, I'll take Chris Christie. Oh, yeah. He is from Queens, right? He is, yeah. Where? Jamaica Estates, I think. What a bastard. Yeah. The one part of Queens everyone unanimously hates. Rich. That's rich, though, isn't it? Yeah. That white part. It must be. Yeah. The white part of fucking Jamaica. Yes, Joey. Yeah. Yeah.
Damn, that's crazy. Him and 50 Cent are not far from each other. Yeah, they're like fucking neighbors. Trump was like on the come up and then all he heard in his background is like fucking 50 just spitting a quick 15. Yeah. We do have sponsors for today.
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I kind of liked it. I kind of liked it. But this whole, we can agree. All these conspiracies about this whole stupid fucking. The sound. The sound. The alert. Just an alert. And honestly, good. You know, do you remember a couple years ago where Hawaii got a fake one? Not a fake one, an accidental one. You didn't hear about this? Dude, it was like 2014, 2015. Hawaii got alerts to people's phone that there was a ballistic missile heading their way.
For like six minutes before it was recalled and said like that was a mistake. Our apologies. Six minutes. Dude, I'm... Six minutes is a lifetime. Dude, six minutes of thinking like, oh, I'm dead. Like there's no... Like I will be dead. Ballistic missile sounds...
Dude. They crushed naming that missile. The branding of these fucking nuclear weapons. Oh, it's so good. They nailed it. Atom bomb is whatever. No, I don't care about that. Ballistic missile though? Oh my God. It makes me think of... Heat seeking missile? Oh my God, dude. That's a dope name. Really good. Like I will be, I'll tell you this. I'll be terrified if there was one coming our way. Yep.
But I'd feel like this is a kind of cool way to go. I'd want to see it. I'd be like, let me see this missile. Oh shit, that is ballistic. That shit is ballistic. I'm going nuts for this ballistic missile. I picture it having spikes. I think it's, I don't think it, first of all, I don't think you would really see it coming. I think like once it's in the air, you're pretty much a goner. Dude, I just got new contacts.
Do you wanna hear something about my contacts by the way? I had to go get an eye test like every year in order to get new contacts. - Gotcha. - So I went, my vision got better. I'm regenerating like fucking Wolverine, dog. - What the fuck is going on? - Yeah, the guy's like, yeah, your thing is down 25 on each one. - Oh, mine has gotten significantly worse in like, I feel like the last two hours. What is going on? Why is your vision getting better? What are you doing?
Are you taking any like supplements for like your eyes you know, I don't take anything drink you eating bunch of carrots and shit. No, okay The ballistic missile isn't that spiky but it is cool. It looks like a big bullet the yo missiles are dumb Spikes does it kind of need to see the spikes here Joey. Hold on. I'm gonna show you right now. I'm zooming in on the spike Oh, it's got that thing. It's got that thing where it's like, yeah Yeah, where it's like where what's it called? Where where it's like hooked what you know, it's got like the hook. Oh
Barbed. So you can't like pull it out or whatever gets shoved in. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. Missiles are fucking awesome. Pretty cool thing that we've created. I would love to shoot a missile at something. Would you on like if and when you ever get married, would you want to do that thing where you can like fire an RPG into like a field?
Who the fuck gets married and does that not like at your wedding Joey, but we have to do being married I'm saying on like your your bachelor party Would it be like would you be like yo we're gonna get we get driven out to the desert and you get to ride in a tank and then fire missiles would you be cool with that and
Yes. Yeah, alright, alright. I wanna- When I'm inevitably- this is my way of just kinda like putting in that maybe I'll be best man. I want to- And I'm just like, "Oh wow, that's an idea I had. TM, anyone does it? I'll sue the fucking pants off 'em." You ever see Fury? Yes, great movie. So, that's what I wanna do. I wanna get in the tank, and I wanna shove the shell into the thing. STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! STUNK! ST
Yeah, and with those like weird flaps, you know, like a pilot like the pilot flaps. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh my god fire in a tank. But yeah, there was for six minutes people shot 50 cal go ahead It's whatever I was gonna say was not even partially relevant. You shot a 50 cal. I remember her in vegas Yeah, and you said it like state and you said it like blew you back, right? It's loud as shit, dude Did you wear muffs?
Yeah, you have to. Yeah. Yeah. If not, I like it because you can hear the guy talking. Oh, but you can't. So what is it? Was it really loud even with the muffs on?
Yeah. Well, you feel it in your body. Really? Yeah. That's how I felt firing my first assault rifle. Great. Well, you felt it? I shot it and I felt it in my chest. Yeah. And you probably would have made fun of me, but I actively put it down. I was like, yo, we should not have this power in our hands. Such a lib cuck lord. I am a cuck lord.
What a liberal cuck lord, dude. Dude, I felt so fucking insanely powerful. Powerful. I did. I was like, yo, this is wild. Like, I felt it all here. I like guns, dude. I like shooting guns. I just do. They are cool. I would be cool with guns if we can just keep them not in our homes. You know what I mean? Like, no one should have, like... Oh. No, I think that people should have guns. No, I agree. I agree. I agree. I'm saying, like...
Cap it. You shouldn't have a fucking arsenal to take out a small country. Yeah, yeah. You know? Some of the guns I shot, yeah, we probably shouldn't have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You shouldn't have a sniper rifle. Exactly. You know what I mean? That's crazy. Like a .50 caliber is like this. You can kill a whole family with that if you line them up. Well, there goes our monetization, by the way. Also, this shit, shooting clays...
Insanely fun. Oh, I've never shot clays. I'd like to one day, though. Fun as fuck. I really want to. You know what gun I want to do? Where you crank the side. What? Where it's like the big gatling gun and you crank. And you fucking. Shit. That seems so cool, no? Yeah, I know. I want to fire it. I don't know why, but out of a helicopter. I want to shoot a plane. You want to shoot a plane? Well, shoot a plane out of the sky. That would be a lot of fun. Fake planes. Fake planes. Make sure you say that. Yeah, fake planes. But like. Duh.
What if you went clay shooting and the clays weren't clay discs? They were planes. They were planes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you get in a plane. And that's what I'm saying. I'm saying I want to fire it from a helicopter. Oh. And I have a cigar hanging out, a bandana. I'm dirty. We're in the jungle. And I'm just like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You've got one eye. One eye in Vietnam. And a scar like this. Swamp ass. Yeah. A bandana. Missing a couple fingers, whatever. Yeah. And I'm just fucking... You know, just like... Yeah, that's cool. That would be sick. That is really cool. That's every boy's dream. Yeah. Girls just want to like...
Loved and have a good life. Mass murder is so dope. Whoa. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, we're just like glorifying like war. No, yeah. What are you doing here? No, no, no. I like shooting guns at things that aren't alive. Well, technically, if you think of like, you know... Plants...
If plants are alive. If you think of the world through the lens of Star Wars, everything is alive in a way. What the hell does that even mean? Just like the force runs through everything. It's just a matter of the M count and stuff like that. Thank you, Sensei. Shut the fuck up. The force runs through everything. I didn't make up these rules. George Lucas did, man. What a weird looking dude, by the way. Why does he have to sound like that? If you're going to look like that, you've got to sound way cooler. The SNL thing when they're like...
No, he was just like, you will get me a Diet Coke. Yeah, get me a Diet Coke. You will get me a Diet Coke. We don't have Diet Cokes, George. God. You will get me a Diet Coke. Yeah. But, yeah, that's fucking, that alert. By the way. Oh, shit. Oh, God, he's back. He went back to it. Shop.SantaCostaStudios.com. You're really leaning in, Joey. Someone's going to screen grab that, and there's going to be like, you're going to be fucking gay boys dessert this week. Let me tell you.
Holy shit, dude. You're really giving him something to work with. If there's anyone out there that has like a fetish for backs, you just like fucking made it. The back is covered. Show me your back. No. Yeah. But like back, you know, like doing back muscle stuff, you know, like you just made like a bunch of people's weeks. Okay. I'm happy. Yeah, you should be. Yeah. Um,
What else we got? Oh, the expensive wedgie we wanted to talk about. Yeah. Someone got a wedgie and like you're suing. Where was it? Splish splash. Did I make that up? Yes. Did I? A little bit. The story is a woman is suing Disney of all people. Oh, I mean, sue them. They got all the money in the world. You come for the king. You best not miss. You know, that's what I'm saying. The king being. Oh, so you're king, the anti-Semite? No.
No, good job. Walt Disney? Frank loves Walt Disney and all his beliefs. No, Joey the company, I mean, as a conglomerate. It is a monster. This whole country is going to be bought by Disney one day. Basically, yeah. We're going to be living... Good theme parks, though. Yeah, New York, the fucking top of the Empire State Building is going to have Mickey ears on it. So there's... I'm not going to say the woman's name. It's out there if you want to find it. What's her name? Okay. What's her first name? Is it like Svetlana? No, it's pretty normal.
Marissa. By the way, I guess Svetlana is not normal. Well, it's not common, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Okay, I'm gonna get it. I know. Just describe her to me. White. Okay. Jessica. No. But like playful white. Ooh. A playful white name. A playful white girl name. So is it like a nickname, kind of? Could be, but it also could be the person's actual name. Does it end in Y? No. Ends in an A. Ooh, Rebecca. No. No.
uh i already said marissa is it the beginning of the alphabet or is the end of the album i'm gonna give you a hint okay aloha come on baby emma yeah i mean that was that was too much of a hint oh okay i'll take it back try again um emma okay uh but she went to disney and is firing at firing and is filing a lawsuit against them uh for damages about fifty thousand dollars
Yeah, $50,000 for Disney? It's Disney, baby. $5 million at least. Come on, go up. $50K. They make that a second. You know what she probably thinks? Like, I could definitely get $50K because $50K is nothing at Disney. So they're probably like, whatever, just give it to her. I guess so. But she, on a trip to the water park, went down the 214-foot Humonga Cowabunga water slide. What?
That's not the name. Yeah. Humongous cowabunga? My favorite part of this is they're going to be in a civil court and they're going to be like, Your Honor, the humongous cowabunga is very dangerous. The humongous cowabunga. It's too humongous. Yeah, it's too humongous. And by the end of it, she wasn't saying cowabunga. She was saying, ouch, my internal organs. Yeah, my ouch, my bunga. Yeah.
She wasn't saying cowabunga because her bunga got cowed. But she went down and she claims that as a result of the speed, height, and everything, it caused a massive wedgie that caused vaginal laceration and protruding bowels. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. It ripped her shit to shreds. Her asshole fell out? Move over, Pete Molino. Give me that humunga cowabunga. You know what I'm saying?
Wait, so this fucking thing, she got a wedgie on a water slide and her asshole fell out and it cut up her butt. It fucking basically just like unzipped her from front to back. Oh my God. Dude, that's terrifying. But let's put that aside because this is a comedy podcast. Can we just say something? Great marketing. I want to go on the cowabunga. Yeah. Now everyone in their world is going to be lining up for that humongous cowabunga. Yeah. Yeah.
We'll tear you to shreds. And you make some money off of it? You know how many you could tear my ass? Never mind. Say it. You might as well. You unlock the door. You might as well open it. I was saying for a shot to sue Disney, it may be worth it. If it meant that you would get $50,000, would you rip your asshole open? Oh, no. No, that's not enough. Rip my ass? Frankie, what does that even mean? I know. That's a spit in the pan for you. Is that an expression? Did you make that up? It is now. No, no, no.
I need to know. That I need to know. A spit in the... I think I was going for drop in the bucket. Frank, I... This is a spit in the ocean, a spit in the UK. A spit in the eyes, a spit in the pan. It is not showing up, dude. Spit in the pan. That's a spit in the pan for you. That's incredible. Well, we're going to use that. I'm just... I feel bad for this woman, obviously. Read the room, though. Sweetie.
I've gotten wedgies. I've gotten wedgies. But not that. But how does your... Oh, but the real marketing here is for the fucking swimsuit. How does it not rip if it's lacerated? Yeah, sue them, too. Sue swimmies. Yeah, sue the swim. Dude, come on. Who is it? Speedo, maybe? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know any type of material that doesn't rip. But everyone's making women's swimsuits now. They're basically made of, like, fucking cardboard and, like, papyrus. I don't... So you never know. They're not...
Bro, go to like, you know, any of these like major like big box retail stores. They have their own brands and shit. It's like Target brand swimsuits. Yeah. Shoot Target. But like those wouldn't ripped. Wouldn't have ripped. It's going to like ride up your fucking hole and turn your asshole inside out before it rips. That's crazy. I've been down some fast water slides. Same. And I've, you know, the boys have the netting.
That is never... I've never been down to anything like a Humonga Cow Bunga. I've gotten some, like, wedgies. Well, the biggest water slide was what? The one that we went down at... What was that water park? You just said it. Splish Splash. Splish Splash. The one that just goes fucking bing? Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't do that. I was too afraid. That's our humonga cowabunga. Yeah, that was the cowabunga, yeah. So, I've never had anything like this. I've never gone on that because I'm too scared. I hope this woman gets everything she needs in order to, you know... I hope her butthole's okay, for sure. I hope... Well, vaginal lacerations, dude. Also, dude, you tear my asshole and pussy up, I'm expecting way more than 50k, dog. Couple mil. Couple mil. I mean, when it comes to civil suits like this, they need to literally be like, all right, well, you want...
all your medical things covered. Yes. Which let's say that was $40,000. I'd be like, yo, I need asshole reconstructive surge. I need, and then I would say if I was the lawyer, which guess what?
Signs over there. I'm not. Not a lawyer. Right. I would say like, also the fact that I'm filing for this, it will be public. The embarrassment of my name being out there and like my basically being like fucking Mortal Kombat torn to shreds in my boon-toon-foof. Yeah. You know? I need more. I need a lot of money for that. Yeah, exactly. I'd be like, yo, I have PTSD. I can't be around water anymore or parks. It can't be around water. It can't be around parks. Slides.
completely ruined the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for this woman. Yeah, even my churros, because I had a churro before I got on. Exactly. I mean, she'll be walking down the street and she'll hear fucking Mikey Raff, Leo, and Donatello screaming cowabunga, and she fucking tenses up. You know? This woman, I feel bad. I think she'll be all right, though. I think her ass is all right. I don't think a fucking swimsuit could do that much damage, but I don't know. If you were defending Disney, what would your first question be?
How's your hole? Oh. Well, you need to see the hole. Fucking thank God you're not a lawyer. No, it's true though. Oh, you're asking to see this poor woman's fucking mangled ass? Yes, you have to, no? I would say, what did you eat the day prior or that morning? What would that give you? If she had some form of explosive diarrhea, that could have made the situation worse.
That's a later on question. Is it? Let's go over your like history of ass. Butt. Yeah. Let's go over butt history. But I need to see the lacerations. I need to see that your asshole turned inside out. I'm sure you go to rotten.com, Joey. You can find all that stuff. I have seen that stuff. It's disgusting. Do you remember the power lifter one? That's the one that always comes back to me. And his ass fell out? Yeah. Oh my goodness gracious. It looked like a rose bud. We have more sponsors, by the way. I swear to God we do. You promise?
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uh no long-term commitments or contracts or anything like that just go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the page and enter the code basement okay again stamps.com click the microphone at the top of the page and type in a basement okay uh and lastly here we have babble babble baby babble's gonna help you learn another language it is the best uh it's the best at what it does okay uh this says one in five americans
Wait, what do you call a person who speaks three languages? Multilingual or polylingual? That speaks three languages? Oh, trilingual, sorry. Jesus. What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who speaks one? American. That's literally what it says. Maybe I'm just great at what I do, babe. Did you know that? No, honestly.
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Let's learn a language, folks. Rules and restrictions may apply, but again, 55% off at bevel.com slash basement. So get to it, folks. Go learn another language, maybe something hot. What's the hottest language? We've been over this, I think. Yeah. So I'm not going to even answer your question. I will say, after the story we just talked about, the next ad read, you can't talk about the bottom line. You can't do that. That's just too fortuitous. What?
Never mind. Joey, I know we don't have much time left in the show. I think we're going to be okay. We're going to live. We're going to live. It's like a scene in movies like we don't have much time. In this episode. But our boy, we were talking about him earlier. Our boy Donald Trump is back. More your boy. I know you're a big, big Trump fan. Why do you? And he was recently at a rally. Slurring his words a little bit. Kind of similar to United States.
United. And he posed a question that he spoke about during his rally that I think you and I need to weigh in on. What? Trump said he would rather be electrocuted than die from getting eaten by a shark. How did this come up at a political rally? Joey, I watched the clip. Eon's dumber than I was prior. There wasn't... There's no context? I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you. He just brought it up. He's like, Joe, I did it. Who is that? I don't know.
Who the hell was that? He said, so I did it? Don't get me. I'm not going to recreate the whole thing. But he said that he'd rather be electrocuted than eaten by a shark. So my question to you. To death? Yeah, electrocute. To death. Electrocute. The cuche means that it's fatal. Okay? Is that true? Electrocution, yeah. Execution. Electrocution. But you could get electrocuted.
Yeah, but it's an electric shock, technically. Oh, electrocution? Yeah, the cution is like... So if I said electrocution, that means I'm dying. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
But electrocuted means like you just got electrocuted. Yeah, like you just got a little bing, bang, boom. Got it, yeah. You've been electrocuted, right? Oh, yeah, tons of times. Me too. It's all right. Tons of times. Like four times. I used to carry around those prank pens in middle school. I hated those. Oh, I loved them. It's fucked up pens for me for my whole life, like forever. Yeah. It sounds like you want a piece of gum. You pull the gum and it electrocutes you. I've told the story. I had one of those, but it was the one that was a mousetrap, and I broke my grandmother's finger.
Did you tell that on the show? I did, it's still funny. It's still funny. I forget everything we say on the show. 78, 79 year old fucking grandmother. Her fingers are in shambles. Who's demented by the way? She was demented. And you made her... And yeah, it broke, it fucked her up. And he broke her finger on her face.
Fucking piece of gum. Well, also, also, grandma, have fucking better bones. Come on. What is this shit? Drink some more milk. She's 80, bro. What do you want her to do? Something better. Bro, that's the worst part about getting old. Your bones are... Don't make excuses. Your bones are... It's not my fault she had shit bones. Hey...
Not my fucking fault. Shit bones. Hey, demented grandma, take this piece of gum. It's actually a mousetrap. You're really, really honing in on this demented part. She was demented. She was, but that's not the part of it. It wasn't the dementia that broke her finger. It was the fucking... It was the osteoporosis. That's what it was. But those pens fucked me up for the rest of my life. That's such a...
Yeah. Bro, those things are like a split. Bro, she was like, yeah, no problem. Let me take this fucking piece of gum. Dude, and also like old women love gum. No, but like...
No, old women love gum. Do they? Dude, gum, butterscotch candies, Werther's Originals. Yeah. Those strawberry candies that you don't know where they're from. Go buy them. I love them. I do. They're good, but where are they from? God knows. Yeah. But I'm saying you could put your thumb on an old woman and she'll bruise and you fucking put a mousetrap on your grandma's finger, dude. Well, to my defense, I was younger. No defense. Oh, okay.
You were younger? Never mind. Forget about the whole thing, dude. Yeah. I get a free pass at whatever happened because I was younger. Okay. Yeah. That's the way the world works, Joey. No, it isn't. Yeah, I know. God, that's funny. So I'm posing this question to you. I had all those pranks, bro. If there was something... Yeah, you were a prankster. Big prankster when you were younger, weren't you? It would have been.
You want to hear something funny? If they sold it in Spencer's Gifts, your boy had it and was using it all the time. God, Frankie loved that store. Oh, my God. It's like, you want a dildo? Well, no, no, no. I didn't know dildos. I wasn't using dildos. Don't you dare. I wasn't saying you use dildos. I'm saying they sold dildos there that were like in the shape of a unicorn or something. No, that was before that. It was just like the back part where it would be like fucking like, you want like sex candy? And it's like, it made no sense. Edible fucking lingerie.
What and it wasn't even like edible it was like a fruit roll-up. Yeah that they just made into underwear Which kind of sick I don't want to eat your underwear. They also made the worst candy ever invented into underwear Do you remember that remember those like the the necklaces and the candy bracelets first of all I like candy necklaces Yeah, but they were they were for the appeal like that You would have a fucking piece of rubber and you could eat it like that. Yeah, but then like my whole wrist would get like sticky. Yeah Yeah, that shit. Also. What do I look like doing this? Oh?
Hold on one sec. What time is it? Yeah, yeah stupid I loved all those like prank things I had all of them dude one time I tried to play a prank on someone in my house and I was like oh cuz I saw something online I was like you put a bucket of water. Yeah I put a bucket of water on a door. That was a jar so that when someone would fuck you just say open and
It was a jar. It wasn't open. If it was open, I couldn't put it on there, you stupid fuck. What do you think a jar means, you stupid bitch? Slightly open. Dumbass. No, that's not what it means. I guarantee you're wrong. Anyway. Dude, you said fortitude before. I can't say a jar. It's four fucking letters. I said fortuitous, idiot. Whatever. Same stupid word. Why are you getting so incredulous over the fact that I'm saying that a jar actually just means open?
It means slightly open. Different. No, it means open. Okay, so if the door is fully open, where does the bucket of water go? Dumbass. You can just say slightly open. We would have avoided this entire fucking... Or I could just say ajar and we could move forward. So anyway, the door is ajar. Like this, right? It was fortuitously ajar, incredulously. And I put a bucket of water up there. I think it was my mom or something.
Walked into the bathroom and I'm sitting there just waiting on my this is gonna be the greatest day ever because the idea is that thing just pours onto the person you go Oh my god, you're soaking wet now you run away open the door Did not turn just fell straight down bang and landed on the ground and no water came out of it and then my mom just turned around looked at me and I was like
Yeah. Did nothing happen. Nothing good. Big prank Joe. Nailed it. The best prank that I've ever... You should probably hit me after. The best prank that I have ever done. I've told the story about the prank I pulled on my sister when I got a bloody nose. That was the craziest thing you've ever done to me. That is like literally like you're nuts. That was pretty nuts. Are you all right? I don't know. What the fuck is happening? What is going on, dude? I'm okay. I'm all right. That's not like you try to eat your own tongue. No, but I think I've told this story too, but nonetheless, we have new fans. I'm going to tell it again.
My brothers and I like the basement was where our bedrooms were you remember that you know? And my brothers we would play pranks on each other every now and then They thought one that would be hilarious would be my brothers went to the bathroom. They wiped their butt They put the shit paper towel paper not paper towel the toilet paper in a cup and put it in hit it in my room I don't think you've told the story. I definitely have I definitely have so the room smelled like shit
Like, it smelled like not... And, like, there's a difference between when someone says, like, oh, that smells like shit. When you actually smell, like, fresh, raw air poop, there's nothing like that. Yeah, there's nothing like poop. It's a crazy smell. You know poop. You know poop. Like, poop leaving a butt and the lingering smell is very different from, like, poop sitting out in the air. Yeah. Wild. And my room smelled like shit. Like, bad. And I was like, oh, this is good, but... This is good. Like, this is a good prank.
Oh, not good that my room smelled like fucking raw poop. So I was like, all right, the thing that people know about me, if you prank me, I am going to prank you back a thousand times worse. A hundred times worse. A hundred thousand is what I meant to say. So I took their poop paper, you know, toilet paper, which was plentiful. It wasn't like not a lot of poop. And I like put it into two cups and I measured my brother's height.
And I hung it from their doorway in like the middle of the night. So... Wait, hold on. What are you saying to me? What'd you hang? I hung the poop cup. Okay. The poop cup. I hung it from their door, like in their dorm frame. So in the morning, they opened their door and they walked out and they got hit in the face with poop cup.
But how? It's in the cup. No, I hung the cup. I like... So like, the cup would normally be like this. I hung it from the door frame like that. It was paper... It was toilet paper shoved in a cup with shit all over it. So I hung it. I like taped it like this and like the back so I guess it wouldn't do this. Yeah, yeah. So when they woke up, they walked right into poop cup. It's a good one. You guys are sick. You guys are sick. This isn't happening. There's shit. You have shit games that you played? Well, yeah.
Boys being boys Joey! Covering each other in shit just the boys boy! Wiping my shit on my brother! We took pranks a little more seriously in our household. Sorry that yours failed. Our pranks never failed. We had good pranks. You were sitting there not getting the fucking water to dump on your mom. Meanwhile, I was covering my face in blood pranking my family thought I was mass-murdered and then you know poop cup. Yeah, dude, you guys are awesome shitting each other's rooms. The fuck? Shove all this shit in a cup.
And hide in his room. Well, listen. How did you find the cup? Did you follow the smell like a fox? I have a very good sense of smell, Joey. Got it. Hearing, smell, that's it. The other senses are okay. Yeah, your sight sucks, right? My sight is not good lately. Why don't you get contacts or something? Well, I'm getting a new insurance plan that has vision, and your boy might be getting some new glasses. I don't want to... Are you going to wear contacts? Probably not. Why? Because I fear the idea of falling asleep and having them behind my eyes.
One, I've slept in my contacts all the time. It doesn't happen. How do you know? How do you know there are not a bunch of contacts behind your eyes right now? How do you think I know? How do you think that would happen and I wouldn't know? That's a good question. That's a better question. Well, do you get headaches? How do you know it's not from the contacts that could be behind your eyes? When they're in my eyes, I can see. When they're not in my eyes, I can't see.
So if I sleep in them. Yeah, but what if you wake up in the morning and you can't see and you're like, oh my. So then what? Then I go to my contacts case where I would have to put them in and there's nothing in there. So where are they? They're in behind your eyeball. Right. So then I would be aware that it happened. So it has happened is what you're referencing. That's not. Are you even following along? Because I'm telling you it's never happened.
And then you're like, how would you know? That's how I would know. Cause that would have happened. I don't know. I think that you're, you're not, I don't know. You're the 1% here in many ways. And I think also, you know how you could, you could like avoid sleeping in them. Don't like you have full. Yeah. But Joey, it's easier for someone that can just stay awake and go to sleep at whatever they want. That's not true. At night you could, I take them out and I put my glasses on. Sometimes I fall asleep without realizing it.
Not in my bed and in my bed. Cool. You're what are you narcoleptic? I'm not narcoleptic. So then careful that it's a real affliction out there that really, you know, affects tens of 20s of people. Yeah, but I might get new. I like glasses. I don't like contacts because I can touch my eye. I have no problem touching my eye, but I would rather like we're afraid of change. Stylish glasses. Yeah. What's wrong with that? I wore them here, but they're in my car, I guess.
Yeah. Cause you can't see on the roads. Yeah, no, it's getting bad. Actually. I would be interested in, Oh, do you know your prescription? No, I haven't gotten the last time I had a vision appointment was 2012, 2013. That's when I got the glasses I currently have. So you don't remember what your prescription is? Oh no. Is it bad? No, it's not too bad. Like I can see right now. Perfectly fine. Like I can read, you know, you can read, I can read, but like if it were like, I can't,
You squint vision and I do squint. That's my issue is I put a lot of pressure on my my pupils because you can't see that's why no but I can and I think the squinting is just a habit. I think that maybe you just don't know how good vision is when you're visioning is well, what what the fuck does that even mean? All right. We got to wrap up here. Joey. Yeah, would you rather be electrocuted or eaten by a shark eaten by a shark way cooler percent? Yeah, you know how dumb you are to get electrocuted
No, but you don't know. When you're getting eaten by a shark, at least you know, like I'm fighting a shark. Yeah. Also, how would you fight a shark? If you're getting bit by a shark, what would you do?
Punch the nose. That's what everyone says. Oh, I go right for the eyes. Oh, no. They say the nose is like... You can hypnotize sharks. Oh, yeah. You ever seen someone that they'd turn sharks upside down by touching their nose and shit like that? I mean, if my leg is in its mouth, though, I'm grabbing the eyes. If my leg's in its mouth, that leg is gone. I'm fucking tearing at the eyes like a cat. Oh, I'm going right for the nose. I'm beating that thing. Listen, but you got to punch in water. Punching in water is like... Difficult, bro. Yeah, it's like...
Yeah, that thing is fucking, that's why they have sensitive, stupid-ass noses. What? That's why they have sensitive, stupid noses, because they're in water all the time. Oh, I don't know. What a great fish, you know? That's a really good fish. Mammal? Who cares? I don't think so. I really want to see a whale. I'm not going to go over that again, but I've been getting a lot of content about whales lately, and I just, like, I'm back in it. Like, people on boats being like, what is that? And all of a sudden, a fucking...
I've seen too many videos recently of whales swallowing people, destroying yachts. It's like, let's leave them alone. Well, not fucking killer whales, dude. I'm talking about like blue whales. Oh, you'll still be swallowed by a fucking blue whale, Joey. Yeah, yeah, I'll be swallowed by a blue whale. And then you're gone. Yeah, yeah. And then, no, no. This isn't Pinocchio. You can't start a fire in there and like sit and cook a weenie. I'm not saying that. I don't want to get swallowed by it. But I'll definitely like...
You know, it doesn't want to eat me, so it's not going to come after me. Yeah, but if it feels like threatened by you, you do have a bit of a threatening aura, Joey. A little bit. How can the biggest animal in the world be threatened by little old me? Because sometimes people have big hearts and they're emotional and they are in tune with, you know, the way that people are feeling and they just feel you have a threatening aura.
The whale. Is he going to feel that way about me? It fucking very well could be, Joey. Tell me what you know about whales to prove me wrong. Don't talk about threatening. I don't think he's going to like you, buddy. Um, bitch. I.
I am the least... You just started screaming. You just pissed off a whale, probably. Joey, I wouldn't go to the beach. Joey, the whales are going to go by, and they're going to see you with that sailor's mustache and the fucking white skin. They're going to be like, oh, this is the asshole. And you probably would wear something on the water, like a striped blue and white shirt, because you're fucking dumb. No, no, no. Yes, you would. I would wear overalls. You have those shirts. You do. Overalls. You think sailors don't wear overalls? No, I'm saying that's what I would... That's more likely. Yeah, they're going to be like, oh, this guy definitely is here to poach me.
Yeah. And then they'd be like, watch this. And they'd fucking shoot you out their blowhole. That would be sick. That would be actually, I kind of, now I want that to happen. I would do a backflip. No, you wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. I'd be terrified. Wouldn't that be dope though? Like, do you think if you laid on a whale's back, like on its blowhole like this and it shot out of the blowhole that you would like get sent in the sky? I don't know. Let's ask Emma. Who the fuck is that?
Cowabunga. Cowabunga. Cowabunga. What was it called? How you doing, howabunga? No. Cowabunga. How are you? Why are we? Hayatawa Hayabunga? No. Hungabunga? Hungabunga Cowabunga. No. No. I really don't remember. I'm not even kidding right now. Hubba Bubba? I feel a little bit of like... Hubba Bubba Cowabunga. I feel panic. I know, that's gum. I feel panic. Hunga... Howanabunga. Cowabunga. I don't know. I feel... What is it?
Joey, I don't know why I'm freaking out right now. Kunga bunga. Hold on. If you give me like a minute. I'm working it out. I know what you're trying to do, but I really don't care. Kama bunga. Cowabunga. Hunga bunga. Maybe. Humunga cowabunga. Humunga cowabunga?
That doesn't even sound right right now. We are so stupid. Kunga Bunga Cowabunga. What did I say? Ours sounds better if I'm being honest. I didn't know it was Humonga Cowabunga. Yeah, that's why I made the joke about. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Humonga Cowabunga. Yeah. Wait, Humonga, right? Yeah. I already forgot. Yeah, it's all right. Anyway, Frank, where can they find you? Ifalvarez885 on Twitter, TheFrankAlvarez on all other forms of social media. And then you can go follow the show everywhere. Yeah.
I don't know why I said that so hard. Yeah. Go follow the show at TheBasementYard on TikTok and Instagram. Go follow me at JoeSanagato and that is all. Patreon. No, Patreon. Patreon.com. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. No, say how I said it. Yeah, go follow the show and yeah, that is all. We'll see you guys next time. Buy the shirts.