#2635 RHOBH S1402 Part One: PKs and Valleys
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Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Oh. Or. Oh, okay. Thank you. Well, they're not the sounds you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight, like this. Ooh.

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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. We're a podcast about everything you like to talk about. I'm E.O. Braves. I'm Ronnie. That's Benjamina over there. Hello, Ben.

Hi, hi everyone and hello everyone on crap is on demand as Ronnie mentioned earlier this week. My audio is out of sync with my video. Don't know why it's happening. Can I get to the bottom of it? I'm going to spend this Thanksgiving weekend trying to figure out why there's a lag. So I apologize. I'll just try to actually hide my mouth behind my microphone so that way you actually don't see the lag and if everything feels in sync. But sorry to everyone who's watching. You know, wouldn't take you in and out. So then.

Oh, thanks. But apparently this happened when I was in L.A. also, so I don't really know what's going on. But you know what? It's just that's what life is. Life is a lag, guys. Life is a lag. Well, I'm super sad. Not because the holidays and not because Vanderpump rules, which we should talk about at some point. Should we talk about that today? Next week. I don't know. But I am about to leave for Thanksgiving and these workmen are almost done at my house. When I tell you I cried, I was like, guys, we need to have a talk. And they're like, okay. So they gathered around and I was like, okay.

Guys, I'm not going to be here the next few days, but you will be. And I'm not going to get to say goodbye to you. I really appreciate everything you've done. I've loved seeing you every day. And we got me your friend. And I started crying. And then the one guy who doesn't even know English said, we'll miss you.

I can't. They're so cute. You started to cry. That's so sweet. And then it turns out like Ronnie's just talking to his house plants. Like, oh, geez, Ronnie. You're getting really little. I'm going to cry right now. That's crazy that I'm going to miss the workmen like that. But I'm going to. Well, you can always. I think that means I need a cat or something.

no i can't you can also just i'm gonna have to start a patreon just to hire work one every day to keep me company bill that's so sad you just like build why don't you build something build another thing and you can hire them you can see them all you can also specialize in them also i'm crying because housewives is killing me lately like i cannot take the housewives i don't know why i'm crying but we

The housewives are killing me. Like, I can't take any more housewives right now. Stop being depressing. I watch you as a cartoon. You can't do this to me. And then I found out my one of my best friends is moving. Like, I can't. Should we stop this? Why am I crying? This is weird. Wait, one of your best friends is what? Moving. Here, look at this picture of the OC house. We can start over if you want.

Poor thing. We should stop. We'll just have Christina. Literally. So sweet. You feel things. So you feel things so deeply. Okay. No, it's just funny because I'm such a cynical bitch, but I swear to you, if I even start crying at a commercial, it's over for me. Like I'll be here for three hours. It'll be like a week long thing.

Okay, anyway, that's it. Also, thanks. You also are on three hours of sleep. You're also on three hours of sleep, I want to point out. Also, these housewives are killing me. Like that merry conversation, which people will hear tonight on a real housewives of Salt Lake City. That's too much. And how about, honestly, an Erin and her father.

you know, Aaron and her father, that was like, I thought that was very, very sad. Oh my God. You know, the whole thing on New York, it's like everything. And then PK and Doreen, I'm just kidding. That should at least be hilarious. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Uh, luckily Beverly Hills, who would have thought Beverly Hills, the funniest, um, show of the week. Um, just a great comedy, Beverly Hills. I mean, I was chuckling watching Beverly Hills, uh, last night. It brought me a lot of joy. I love seeing Dorit and Kyle fight. I love seeing Dorit stand up for herself. I love Dorit really giving it to Kyle. Um,

um you know they really get into they really get into it in a way that i that i really appreciate so um how are you feeling do you want to start you want to start from the top or no no no i'm gonna i'm just such a weird feeling i'm so sorry no i'm a basket case and it's the holidays and everything else but also you know also i'm just like so i am grateful you know and i'm so happy i'm crying because i'm happy but yeah i really am i had a i'm really happy okay so

Let's just keep going. Christina, just cut some of that out. Cut out whatever you want. Okay, so here we are. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And this is called A Sobering Separation. Like, how much sobriety do we need, too? Like, do we really all need to be lectured before the holidays? Like, come on. I'm doing my best, you know? Fuck, man. Yeah, and you know, before the episode even began, you know, last week, previously, I

on Watch for Crap Ends, recapping Beverly Hills. I played some of the classic Dorit sound effects because it's always important to remind ourselves of the strange noises that Dorit makes. And...

I didn't even pick up on the fact, it wasn't until I watched the previous leaves, that we have a new entry in the canon. Would you like to hear the new Dorit Kemsley? Yes. How did it not jump out at me? Here we go. Actually, before, you know what? I'm going to build up to it. Because it turns out there were several more sound effects that we overlooked. We had the classic where it's like, young ladies, and the happy birthday. But do you remember this, when she saw a magician? God. Shut up.

Or how about this is Dorit talking about Beverly Beach. Imagine walking up and seeing Beverly Beach. So bright. I was like, wait, was there something back there? And then let's also not forget this one where she just annoyed Lisa Vanderpump with her strange noises. What's wrong with you?

Ladies and gentlemen, for 2024, the new Dorit Noise. You're basically corporate. America, all black, in one fabulous European. Like this. You know what I mean?

Do it again. One more time. Do it again. One more time. Basically corporate. America. Oh, that's right. In one time, we're listening to our theme. Like this. You know what I mean? It's the slow wind-up. Like, you know, we all know the classic, like, Dorit scream. Like...

America in one fabulous European. Like this. So fun to read.

she brings so much joy so that's the big news that there's a new sound and then um we also have our new tag lines for the season i'm gonna say by the way as a whole as a class class of 2024 i didn't love these i thought these were a little um generic what'd you think they were um let's see what they are um kyle who wants to do kyle you want to do who wants to start you start

i'll i'll do kyle you've had a tough morning you don't deserve to you don't deserve to have to take on this i've just had a feeling warning that's all i'm okay you know i just usually hide that i don't like those kyle's like these hills have eyes and they're all staring at me first of all so i that's a reference to a classic horror movie the hills have eyes which i guess is a reference to the fact that kyle has been in horror movies

um but like that is so Kyle to think that hills are watching her hills are not watching you guys hills are not watching you we're barely watching you you idiot like what does she think that people care this much about her life she's absolutely what is it the Amazon Live audience going crazy it's all those ladies looking for leggings that are just dying to know literally no one cares I've not met one person who's like I wonder what's going on with Kyle and Morgan

Literally everybody. I feel like even lesbians are like, just be quiet. How about that? Just shut up. Nobody cares. She's like, these hills have eyes and they're all rolling them. That would have been more accurate. Yeah. So Sutton's like, I honor my fine Southern manners by putting you in your place.

And Garcelle's is, which is by the way, that's fine. - I mean, that's probably not Southern matters, putting people in their place, first of all. - Not really. - I don't think there's any word play there.

i think there's no word play i don't think it's i got distracted my mom sent me a text i gotta go on do not disturb because my mom was like it's we're making a reservation in 10 days so of course it's like 10 texts in a row um so what do you want for dinner in 10 days i mean let's discuss it like we need to answer we need to answer um

I'm like, you know I'm podcasting, mother. You know it. So Sudden's, yeah, I honor my fine Southern manners by putting you in your place. It's fine. There's no wordplay there, though, so I don't really, I just don't think it's very wonderful. It's fine. And then Garcelle's is, I've been in the game too long to play by someone else's rules. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, that's fine. That one does have wordplay, but it's more generic. What are the rules? I don't know. I don't get it. And then Eric is like, in Beverly Hills, money buys a lot, but my independence, priceless. Fucking now you're using an Amex logo for all the credit you don't have? What is your thing? In Beverly Hills, money buys a lot, and I don't have any. Thank God for Tom's old Rush Limbaugh lookalike friend, because I'd be fucked. How about you? Yeah.

Erica could have come in and been like, I'm going to wear pants with faces on them. What do you think about that? And I would have been like, that's better than what we got.

she's also protecting kyle yet again she's pressing kyle yet again because you know that if it weren't for erica kyle would have another in this town but erica took the in beverly hills thing so kyle had to say the hills yeah well you know they cut hers to be in this town the hills have eyes but all eyes are looking at me kyle you can't in this town again kyle okay

And I just love that she's usually using like commercial slogans when she was charged with literal credit fraud.

She tried to throw those guys in prison for credit fraud. And then, I mean, she's a mess. What is she doing? So then Bose, which, by the way, I'm sorry I was calling her Boz last week. But you know whose fault that is? It's fucking Kathy Hilton's fault. You know, of course. And why would I ever listen to Kathy Hilton? I know she's not named Boss like Kathy Hilton was trying to call her. But I thought it must rhyme with Boss if that's what she's trying to call her. No, there's no sense and there's no sensibility with Kathy. Hey, don't listen to her.

Very upset. Okay, so there's... Translated in strange. I love it. That's why I'm always screaming and yelling because I'm always about to cry. Okay, so Bose is like, introducing the greatest product I ever marketed. My fat ass. I was like, oh my God. So this woman, let me just tell you right now. This woman, I love her.

This is a walking AI LinkedIn page. That's all this lady's going to do. And I love it. She is LinkedIn with fabulous dresses. She's like an update at the app that just won't stop nagging you to re-sign up for fucking LinkedIn. And I love it. It's like you're connected to Bose. She wants a recommendation. I'm like, you know what? Bose is great at croissants. There, do it. That's right, I run that.

I'm sure all her LinkedIn friends constantly get emails like, Boze just updated her profile. Boze has a new update. Boze just wrote on her LinkedIn blog. Boze says hello. Boze just made a new connection. It's like probably constant.

So then we have Dorit who finishes it with, I may look like a doll, but don't wind me up. That was the cutest, I think. Good. Yeah. The best of the best of the bunch. You know, this is Dorit's season and she got the best line of the year, I would say.

Yeah, but Dorit's like, I'm a new independent woman, P.K. It's already wearing thin. I have to tell you, it's been two episodes. I'm like, okay, okay, you need to calm down now. But let's go. I would have liked the original version of her line, which I heard was just her going, Magic! We just see a car slowly crashing in that Beverly Hills traffic circle. Yeah.

So let's see here where we are. So we are at the party, set in Surrealism party. Kyle is dressed like a deer, a deer in the headlights. He just doesn't understand why everyone's constantly staring at her. And then Dorit is arguing with her. And Kyle's like, I'm gonna need you to listen now, okay? I'm gonna need you to listen. I am double licking the corners of my mouth very rapidly. So...

Let's be honest, Coyle, and let's actually really talk about the real stuff. So go on, tell me, Kyle. Well, I mean, if you're going to be aggressive and you're not going to be open, I'm having this conversation because I hope to get to the other side of this, but you're really not, like, who are you even? Like, you're not even acting like yourself. Like, who are you? It's like a pod person. It's like, who is this right now? Because I'm not going to put up with your shit anymore, Kyle. I'm not.

Well, we both have different feelings and we have different thoughts about what happened. No, no, no, no. This is like a we have our truths. I have my truth and you have your truth. No, there is a truth. What is the truth? You are a lie. You're a lie, ma'am.

That's the thing, is that Kyle's offense is a blatant lie. To be like, well, we only went on one trip together, and our friendship was exaggerated. That is incorrect. So, Dorit's like, Kyle, our history counts, and so do all of our accents. And that's why, when you went publicly and said that I exaggerated our friendship, dot, dot, dot, please roll the Amazon Live footage once again, please.

Amazon Live is getting some serious play on this show. My God, I just want I really wanted to go buy a pair of leggings. Like, seriously, I was like, does anybody have gold plated earrings right now that are just casual and sensible, but also fancy if I need to switch up after the office?

Yeah. I mean, it's really, this is just great marketing. And it's like, we have so many memories and so many intimate moments. I just, it felt like it took eight years of a deep sisterly friendship and she took it and flushed it down the toilet.

Okay, well, can I tell you? Can I tell you why I said that? Because when we were at BravoCon and we were up there, it's like besties. And then we see the clip again of Kyle, of Andy saying, who's your favorite Richard sister? And then Kyle spilling her shot all over Dorit and Dorit joking, well, now it's not Kyle. Now it's going to be Kathy then. Kyle's my third favorite. And then Kyle cracking up and then pretending now that she's mad. You want to know what I did recently as a,

Early as this weekend, I went to a little place where I used to live. It's a magical land called West Hollywood. And I was out at a bar, Clurban, with the boys, and I saw one of our good friends,

whose name on this show is Old Queen at a Bar. Glissando. Old Queen at the bar was just hunched over there on a stool and swirling a martini around. He said, Rondal, is that you? Come and shimmy, I have something to tell you. I said, Old Queen in a bar, you're going to get me in trouble, you naughty minx. And then he laid the tea upon me.

Okay, so here's what old queen in the bar said. Now, I don't believe this. There is no proof of this. I don't know that this is true. Don't sue me because I only know this from some old queen in a bar.

So, by the way, that's vacuuming going behind my head because we are the most professional podcast on the Internet. OK, thanks. So here's what he said, that when Kyle was first into Dorit, not Dorit, when Kyle was first into Morgan, it was just like an Instagram thing. And she's like, oh, my God, I like this girl on Instagram. And I can't I won't get to meet her like I've been DMing her and like I want to be friends with this girl. And Dorit was like, OK. So they got together with Morgan and supposedly Morgan was showing interest in Dorit. Yeah.

And like, like Dorit and not Kyle. Cause Kyle and this girl were just friends at first supposedly and Morgan liked Dorit. And then that's why Kyle magically hates Dorit and won't speak to her. And they can't talk about it because Kyle's not supposed to be talking about Morgan this season. I was like, girl, I don't know if I believe that, but I kind of do. Cause it fits with Kyle, you know?

i love i love a wonky triangle you know and kyle loves a drama triangle she loves a drama triangle she's always in one with with her sisters she'll put herself in one with whoever whoever's in her life because she likes to replicate that relationship with her sisters with other people but now she's in a love triangle and then she's in two love triangles at once one with mauricio now one with morgan she's

literally in a love rhombus at this point. And it's very exciting to me. I hope this is true because this is a really delicious rumor. And you know what? I don't know if it's true. Obviously, I kind of feel like probably it's not like maybe or I mean, who wouldn't like to read? She's gorgeous, you know, and she said she's a total dip, you know, like who doesn't love that? I think she's adorable. But

It also would be a double whammy just because the whole rumor last season was that Dorit was having an affair with Mauricio. Because remember when she kissed his shoulder when they were hugging after, I don't know, something traumatic happened. And that was the rumor then that Dorit was fucking. So Kyle's just being constantly attacked by like, oh, Kyle and Mauricio are breaking up because he's more into Dorit than Kyle.

So whether or not I don't think that's true, but I think that Kyle reads the same rumors that we do. And so that's got to already bug her with Dorit. And then comes the Morgan thing. Oh, my God. It's like, can Kyle just get a piece of ass of her own? I have to say this is this rumor, even if it's false, it's such a fun one to entertain. I'm just so grateful. I'm grateful for rumors sometimes because just even if I consider it as a fan fiction. Yeah. You know,

Just as like fan fiction. I love the idea of Morgan Wade, like coming to Beverly Hills and she's there and she puts down her little bindle on the stick and she sees to read and she's like, you're a real party. I never seen a real party girl like you before.

You're like a real life Barbie doll. Can I cut your hair? Do not cut my hair! Can I put magic marker makeup on you? You cannot do that! It's a Barbie doll I can't play with. I love to play with a Barbie doll.

I made you something real birdy. Oh, thank you. Is this a bundle of dead leaves attached by a string? Yeah, it's seasonal. You know what I want to do with you? I want a can of worms with you. It's a literal can of worms. To us. No! I love you.

Hey, why don't we leave this old duster town and ride the rails for the rest of our lives if you can tell me about what it's like in Europe where you're from? Oh, well, that is sort of appealing. She thinks I'm English. I do love riding the rails. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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So, um... So that rumor is probably total trash, but God, I love it. I think it's so funny. And it really did give me, because I obviously came into this episode having heard that already, and it really did give me a new perspective on this episode. I just loved it. I think that is a great, this is a great twist this early in the recap. So, Kyle,

Kyle, so Kyle is now pretending like she's mad at Dorit because of an obvious joke at BravoCon. And Kyle's like, Kyle's like, well, you did that and then you looked at me and you said, oh, I don't know. Kyle, it was a joke. It's tongue and cheek, Kyle. Gee, I thought you understood jokes. It's something that we, you and I used to do a lot, Kyle.

- Yeah, I mean, you know, I was very emotional that whole time. And like, you knew what was going on. Like I'd shared things with you. I'm like, I started crying when I was asked about it. And then we see a flashback to whatever lie Kyle is brewing up right now. And she's on the couch with the microphone and she's like, well, like obviously my life, it's like not my idea of a fairy tale, obviously. And then, which I didn't really get this clip. And then Kyle's like, well, and then later you said to certain people that I turned the tears on for attention. Why are you smiling like that's not true?

And because it's it is true what Dorit said. And it's crazy that you're trying to turn all of this non fighting into a fight. So you have some kind of hill to stand on. So you're crazy. Like.

You know, Kyle better be careful because if she comes for Dorit too hard, Dorit's going to start doing her little jabs motion where she takes her fist and explodes it out. Little jabs. Little jabs, Kyle. So Dorit is like, this is exactly what I expected. You think I'm some fucking idiot that

That is absolutely not why you went to Amazon Live and said that. You know what I think, Kyle? You were mad that I said something on Watch What Happens Live that wasn't even a big deal. And Andy asked, how has your relationship been affected by Kyle and Morgan's relationship? Roll that flashback now, please.

So then we see, wow! And Dorit's like, well, I feel like the closer she got with Morg. She got fleeting. And Andy's like, wow, that's interesting. Are you sleeping? Am I boring you, Indy? Sorry, I can't really help it. Well, Kyle, I love you. I'm sorry to say it, but it's the truth. It's how I feel.

And so flashback to Dorit. She's like, I said that, Kyle. What with Bitcoin? The worst thing in the world. And then you decided, now I'm going to show her. And that's why I've showed up as album of the year.

literally on my head and the record on top of her head she's like wiki wiki wiki wiki dj james kennedy's like what now that i'm out of a job i just have to play dureet's head all the time wiki wiki so then dureet tells us dree uses kyle's language against her she says well if kyle could just be honest

and open and honest tell me what really pissed her off got her in trouble with Morgan it caused all sorts of issues and just tell me that she was upset about that and then we can have an honest conversation moving on Kyle

So then we see Sutton and Jennifer Tilly watching all of this. And Sutton's like, wow, there's a lot of point in there. There's a lot of point. And as a Sutton person, I'm going to have to put them in their place. That's it. And then Jennifer's like, well, they're fired up, Sutton. Look at them fighting. It's wonderful.

So we go back to Dorit and she's like, "Coyle, you isolated me. You didn't speak to me for months, Coyle. Why did you not just come up to me and say, 'Dorit, I'm mad at you for this. Dorit, I'm upset at you for this.'" I didn't have it in me. I just didn't have it in me.

I was going through a very hard time. We go through things, you go through things, I go through things. Just say you were an asshole. Just say you were an asshole, I found better friends than you, and I ditched you for the better friends, okay? I can't be the only person who's found a better friend and then ditched the other friend. You're not fun. You're boring, okay? I don't like you in your fake stupid clothes, and your husband looks like the Pilbury Doughboy, and he never shuts up about Boy George. I don't want to hang out with you anymore. You're stupid.

Only people who like you are my husband and your husband. Bye. I'm done with you. That's it. But also, like, Kyle's whole I was struggling thing, you know, over the marriage with, or the separation with Mauricio. But now, you know, that's nullified because now Dorit is struggling with PK. So it's like, even playing field doesn't work. Dorit was struggling with PK.

At least you had a hot girlfriend. Dorit was getting robbed, supposedly, by a bunch of people, you know, and like being traumatized while she was also living with PK, the pickle face. Okay. So she's had a lot to deal with. Yeah.

To also deal with the stress of watching PK flirt with having diabetes 2, 3 and 4. Do you know how many versions of diabetes came through my home, Kyle? There were not only regular invaders, there were diabetes invaders. I went to Target once, I was stalked by diabetes. There was diabetes medication stolen out of my personal escort.

So now Kyle does her whole, "I've been a good fucking friend. I don't care what you say. Just because you say it doesn't make it true." Well, you can't say you're a good fucking friend, but then also go on to Amazon Live and be like, "We're like barely friends." It's like, are you a good friend then? You can't be good friends in a situation where you're barely friends. Yeah, you're not a good friend. You're not a good friend literally to anybody. Can you point out one person on this show that could say, "Wow, there's a consistent friend." Nobody. Zero. You have nobody on this show.

Well, maybe, but yeah, Faye and the people that we don't see, but like people on the cast. Nope. Kyle's fucked over every single person on this cast. She doesn't have any real friends. The kiss asses. She's got Teddy who's literally having a copycat affairs over there. And then she's got Faye and that's it. And that guy from the access Hollywood and I'm not coming for him or whatever. He's cute. Justin, her game, like he's very cute and always nice to her. But those three are the ones that I can think of.

She doesn't even have Glenn in her life anymore. -Right. -Daughters. -The four-burger era? -Yeah. Yeah, it's great. So then Kyle is-- So Dorit's like, "A good fucking friend, Kyle. When they're mad, they'll tell their friend, 'Gee, I'm mad!' And then they try to work through it." Yeah. And Kyle's like, "Well, I'm sorry, but those, like, the last two years are literally the worst two years of my life. I mean, becoming a hundred millionaire, that was really rough.

Moving to my third mansion in like two years, super, super hard. Finding the hottest girlfriend in my life, really difficult. Traveling all over the world with said girlfriend and dumping my husband, really, really... What the fuck are you talking about? You've had the best two years. You've had the best midlife crisis of anybody I've ever known. I hope it goes down in the history books of how much fun you've been having for the past two years. And you've always been having the worst two years of your life. Give me a break. Has there ever been a season where Kyle's not having the worst year of her life?

well i hate to be a gray cloud on this ronnie but i will say in kyle's light defense i mean she her marriage of 26 years did fall apart and her best friend did you know that was right yeah she did okay it was hard it was hard i don't think that we're gonna take away that it was hard and i know you were just you're being jokey because it's kyle and we just don't want to give kyle anything

But like, Dorit has also had a very difficult past few years. PK, the situation with PK. And then also, you know, home invasion, whether we're staged or not. I think that a lot of people have settled on that may have been staged by PK, but Dorit probably didn't. Dorit did not know that. I don't think that Dorit was in on anything. If there was a scheme, Dorit was not in on it. She was legitimately traumatized by it.

Dorit's gone through a hard time also, and this is not the hard time Olympics. Okay, we're not watching Roni right now. So, Kyle, you're not going to get any bonus points by saying you're going through a hard time because guess what? Why don't you look at Erica also? I mean, not to say that Erica's a victim, but however you feel about Erica, she went through the ringer, okay? And then before that, Sutton went through the ringer with her husband.

People go to the ringer and it sucks and doesn't mean like, oh, we should just write it off because everyone else has done it too. But it does not explain being shitty to your friends. And so, in fact, the

Kyle trying to pull this move while Dorit is in the middle of her shit phase is just so obnoxious. And Kyle doing the whole, you know what? These last two years, the hardest two years of my life, so give me a little fucking grace. And I loved that Dorit was like,

"I think I did, Kyle. I think I did a little bit too much." And when you get to the point where you can go publicly and say, "I exaggerated our friendship," grace time is over. Grace time is over, Kyle. I was like, "Oh, Dorit, yes, yes. You know what? Yes, yes. Bravo, Liberty of the Year." "No more grace time. Grace time is over, Kyle!" And so Kyle was like, "I can't." And Kyle kept making these looks at the camera where she'd be like, "Ah!" Like right off camera. I just worry antlers do.

wearing the antlers yes she's like the deer that karen see karen ran into on satomic i know talk about a deer in the headlights that is kyle right now and by the way it was funny because the season premiere was called grace time is over but the actual phrase grace time is over appear in this episode so um hello but uh that's a very internet observation to make but i'm not gonna lie it was plaguing my brain for the past 18 hours

Yeah. So Kyle grabs her water and she takes a big, dramatic gulp of it. And she's like, I am out of here. And Kyle's like, I say, or Dorit's like, I say, fucking expect it that cold. So then Kyle's like, I've been a bad friend and you just get to say this now because I'm mad at you. Well, how convenient. Yeah. But that's what you're doing.

It's exactly what you're doing. She says, you hurt me and now you have to create something to justify your behavior. That's exactly what you're doing by coming up with all this gobbledygook stupid reasons why you were mad at Dorit and are right and treating her like shit when you dumped her. You were not right in treating her like shit. I don't care what's going on in your life, ma'am. Yeah, precisely.

So then Garcelle walks up because Garcelle sees that there's some tea to be spilled. She's like, so Kyle, normally I can't stand you, but I want to get the gossip from you. So what happened? And she's like, well, it's impossible to talk to her. Have you considered taking off the antlers? No, absolutely not. Why should I have to take off my antlers? Well, some people could get scared that something with antlers is talking to them. I'm just saying. Yeah.

"Some people may want to shoot you. They think you're a deer." She's like, "Well, I have actually never seen her act like that, and never seen her act like that ever. And I feel like I was talking to an imposter. But guess what? When you talk to me, I'm not an imposter. I'm an actress who works in horror movies. Thank you very much, and good night." And then we got Garcelle's signature, "Wow."

Wow. Wow. And back inside the party, Erica is checking on Dorit and Dorit's like, well, I've got to go. And Erica's like, what's the tea girl? And she's like, well, remember what I told you in order to work it out, that I need to be able to have an honest, real conversation. That's what you need. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's not what I got. Here's what I got. Grace time is over. Grace time is over. It's over.

You know, I feel like I'm watching last season of Real Housewives of Potomac and Giselle taking her daughter to college. Grace time is over! Sick burn. I can guarantee you Doreen does not watch the Real Housewives of Potomac. I will bet you five million dollars, money that I do not have.

It's like so many people walking up to Debra Messing, Grace time is over. So, is that better? That's better. That's better. So, Grace.

- Jesus, I could tell you what I feel. Let me tell you what I feel. Feed up! I feel feed up with Kyle. I'm fed up with friendship. I'm fed up with marriage. I'm fed up with having the way of being felt the way I felt. I'm fed up with having to keep my nose shut.

I'm fed up with records on my head. Have you ever tried to wear a Betamax on your head? It hurts even more. I'm fed up. I can't take any more of it. Fed up with Jaguar? You little fucker. There's not riding bikes in the house. God damn it, I feel it. Dorit, you sound a little hungry. Are you hungry? Well, as it turns out, while I am fed up with many things, I personally am not actually fed. So, yes, I could use an hors d'oeuvre.

It's what I strive for. It's only figurative feeding. Right? Not literal feeding. So then Bose is like, well, okay, bye everyone. I'm going to drink more tequila. I'm CEO of tequila. Tequila, get in here. I'm calling a meeting. Don Julio, get in here. Now, where are my ducklings? All five of us have to walk out because they show, well, we'll get to in a second. But Dorit is like,

Ladies and gentlemen of America, I need to have a voice. I'm no longer that girl that you've seen the last two years. I'm bigger, better, stronger than ever. And then a cake just winds up in her face. And I am still playing Wendy in the Panter in England. I get a cake in my face. Let me tell you, bad relationships can come between an actor and a real role. Thank you.

So, um... She's like, fuck you, and flips us off. Gives us the good old F you to the camera. Badass. That's what they're using this year. That's like, I'm a badass bitch and I'm fed up. I've got new shoes and I'm fed up. I know.

They really sent Alan Lazar out to the dumpster. They're like, we don't want any more high T strings anymore. We want badass selling Sunset music. But he's like, but I just came up with a new song. Are you sure you don't want to hear it? Here it goes. Blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum, blum.

No, get me Trixie Monaco. This season needs a real lady. Yeah, they really did. They just really shoved that guy out. You know, I feel like he needs to sue for ageism or something because that's not cool what you guys did to Alan Lazar. I mean, what did he ever do to you? He would have had a song called Dorit's Fed Up. And you're right. It would have gone just like that.

Yeah, well, you know what? They're just clearing out all the Vanderpump era things, you know? That's Alan Lazar, Sir, the original cast of Vanderpump Rules, Schwartz and Sandys. It's all out. It's all gone. We'll be talking about that on Crappy Hour, I'm sure, this week. So if you guys want to hear us bemoan the loss of Vanderpump Rules as we once knew it, please come listen to Crappy Hour 5.30 on Mondays.

it actually might be a good time to mention crappy i was gonna be a little bit earlier this week uh or this coming week it's gonna be at three o'clock pacific six o'clock eastern how about crazy change is coming up and you know why because we'll see that so uh is that the right timing three yeah that's right timing yeah three three o'clock three o'clock this monday

Okay, so Dorit is, Dorit wants to get out of the dress and Erica's like, throw it in the trash. By the way, I'll be waiting by the trash. It's a cute dress. So then Kyle's coming out. She's like, oh my God, Dorit's out here. Oh my God.

How am I storming out at the same time as Dorit? This is crazy. Can I get my driver first? I've had a very difficult two years. It's like a very difficult, I had a very difficult night tonight. Yeah, and there's just basically people saying goodbye and goodnight and Bo's, see now I'm saying boss. Bo's is basically like, wow, they seem really upset. So they just, they leave and Kyle's like, this is the worst part of my night.

of my life. So now, um, now we have the official get to know Bose scene. Introducing Bose. And we see Bose is basically-- She throws these events called the Badass Workshop, curated by Bozema St. John. And we see this whole-- It's kind of like it's a big self-help thing. The chairs are set up. It's somewhere between like Tom Cruise and Magnolia.

like that, that cult leader guy on HBO. And I mean that in the best possible way she is doing it. And so, um, she gets out of her car and I, this shot that they got, uh,

of her. She looked like she was doing the sixth line in New Orleans, almost. She cuts out, and she has, like, a team of assistants, and they're all shorter than her, and she's just, like, marching down the sidewalk, and they're marching with her, and they are, it is literally like Mother Goose and the Goslings just going right down the sidewalk. I just loved it.

She's like, welcome. I'm Bose and I have badass woman workshops. And here we go. Build this sidewalk. Look at them. Build this sidewalk right in front of me for me to walk over it. Walking over the sidewalk as they build it. It's me, Bose, the badass. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She's like, stop, stay, stop. She starts walking. They start walking. It was like such a funny visual to me. And she's just like, she's like strutting. She's strutting down. Her hair is like really tall. Her dress is big and everything. And they're just like, it's like all synchronized perfectly. I was like, this is the...

campiest most ridiculous thing that has happened to me he's like should i go up to the step and repeat yes because i praise jesus for it yes step and repeat now they call it the step and repeat repeat again yes i'll do it for you turn pose turn that's all they want from me turning here i turn again i was like who is this lady

Fucking nuts. And then she just kind of stands there on the red carpet. Is this where she's just kind of standing there and she's posing and then people just keep walking up to her and they're like, oh my God, you are my hero. She's like, oh, stop it. Click it, click it, click it.

All these people, this one girl is like, oh my God, the only other person I admire more than you is Beyonce. She's like, oh, stop it. You should admire me more than Beyonce. Let's be honest. No, I was going to say she would have kicked her off that red carpet. She said, you're the only person I admire more than Beyonce. She's not going to give Beyonce more cred than Bose. Are you kidding? Bose would have had her kicked off the link. You know my bad. Yeah. Yeah. Commercials. Here comes one right now.

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So, um, Bose was talking about, you know, she was Forbes. Forbes named her number one most influential CMO in the world. That's chief marketing officer. She's been in fast companies, 100 most creative people. Ebony named her one of the most powerful executives in the world. I mean, should I go on? I've come up with the awesome blossom. Before that, you know what it was? An onion. They would call it the fried onion. I said, no, this is not the badass way of doing it. And now it's the awesome blossom. Oh, sorry.

You know, looking at all these accomplishments that she's basically done in corporate America, I really can only think of one thing. Basically corporate America. That's right. Like this. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Well, since I've retired from formal corporate life, I've been busier than ever. I'm doing podcasts, workshops, advocacy, basically being a badass. I thought retirement was putting my legs up. That sounds ridiculous. I don't mean it that way, although I would. I'd have the biggest board teller in the world. I'd brand that shit.

Be badass, Bose. Legs in the air. Not ashamed of a goddamn thing, boys. I love it. We just like a hero. I don't like this background. Get me into one. There they go. Building behind me. Sorry, it's like the little workers from the Mario. Build it faster. There they go. Faster. I'm in construction now. CEO of badass construction ladies. Good, now get out. Who is ready for a badass workshop, people? And all these people in their chairs like...

She's like doing her own infomercial, like her own live infomercial. She is. I mean, normally when I see someone like this, I'm like, okay, you're a crook. But she has the credits to back it up. I'm like, I...

My instinct says you're a crook, but you're not a crook at all. You are just a corporate powerhouse. So she's like, I started a badass workshop because everyone always says to me, how do I get the corner office? And I said, you build the corner office. And guess what? Then you have all four corners because it's only you. That's how you do it. That's what a badass does. And if I had a dollar for every time someone asked,

Ask me a question. Well, guess what? I'm already a millionaire, but I'd be even more of a millionaire. I'd be a double millionaire. That's called stepping and repeating your millionaires.

Here's how to be a badass. Okay, this session is called Pivoting to Your Best, Greatest Self. This pivot is deeply personal. It's personal because I've already done it. I was 10 years in PepsiCo. In January of that year, I successfully negotiated the deal with the NFL to have the Super Bowl halftime be sponsored by PepsiCo. And a few months later, we discovered, hold the applause,

My husband had cancer and everyone's like, oh, and she's like, and it becomes a really sad story about her husband. She found the love of her life. And she's like, I can't believe I ended up with this like somewhat dorky white guy, but we did. And we fell in love and we had this beautiful child and then he died. And she's like, and we were robbed of him. And then I decided, guess what? I went into a meeting and they said, listen, here's what we think about you. You're not enough of a badass. And I said, well, guess what?

I'm rebranding. And from now on, I'm a badass. And like a phoenix, I rose from the ashes. I rose. And I owned that company. That company?

is now Cherry PepsiCo, one of the biggest companies. She does mention PepsiCo a lot. I put the cherry on the Pepsi. This is the new year of my life. The new PepsiCo, if you will. And the last ladder I climbed up in corporate America was built on fizz and soda and was built by other people. But guess what? This new ladder is built by me, rung by rung. And as it happens, those rungs are made of PepsiCo cans, but that's okay.

The rungs are made up of the little plastic things that seals get stuck in that keep folks together.

Slap your own scissors, everyone, and cut those rings off your throats, and that's how you can be a badass and succeed. You don't want dolphins to die in your rungs, ladies. Am I right? Be a true dolphin-saving badass. And this is why the dolphins lift me up as their queen. That's the next ceremony. That's the next seminar. Buy your tickets to being a badass queen for dolphins.

And let's all remember Coca-Cola polar bears are pussies. So funny. Sorry. So good to me. Just beyond the general hilarity of this lady and her confidence, which is just so beautiful. You know, I love it.

is the fact that this is very mommy dearest for anybody who went to gay college and watched that movie from back in the day. She married some rich dude, which is, this is not her obviously, but this part of it was she married like one of the shareholders of PepsiCo. And when he died, she went to the board meeting and she's like, I'm taking over. You're all fired. Don't fuck with me, fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.

I think what Ronnie is trying to say is that PepsiCo really provides a fertile breeding ground for gay icons. It really does. Don't you think that's funny? That she's like, and then I told PepsiCo, well, I'm a badass now, so you better get in line. And then guess what I did? I got some workers and I built a line. And they said, they said, Bose, how many, you haven't hit as many home runs lately. And I said, well, guess what? Take me to PepsiCo Park because I'm about to hit a grand slam.

so so they're all like losing their minds they're cheering for her they're just they just they love her um again like normally if i see someone doing their own like on their own motivational speaking self-help tour doing like the you know hotel ballrooms and having like a cult-like thing i'm always like there's a grift going on but she's real one of the rare cases where i'm like no she seems like she's just like

a smart person who knows how to monetize what she's good at so yeah i didn't get it grift what i definitely got though was just that feeling of like wow you can really just do whatever you want in this life i mean it is really empowering to see somebody just like guess what i'm gonna have a seminar and it's called a badass ladies

I'm just going to, I mean, it's crazy to just watch someone build a crazy life like that to me. I mean, I think it's amazing. It's inspiring. I was like, what do I want to do? I'm going to do so much. I'm going to wake up there and I'm going to go out. I'm a badass. And then I woke up and I started crying with workers in my backyard. So, I mean, I don't know that it translated to me, but the hope was there for sure.

So now we go over to Kyle and Sutton go to Rufo. Oh, I'm so sorry. Because I have to say one part. We were done with this scene. This is my fault. But she goes, the things that happen in your life don't have to make you sit down. You can get up and you can do something. You are the actual pivot.

I was like, what? And then a lady went, and then someone says, and then I was like, oh my God, she's got her own cult. You are the pivot. What does that mean? And why do I want to do it now? I just started like doing like step ball changes in my house. I'm like, I'm pivoting. I'm pivoting. Pivoting. Knocking into walls.

i'm not gonna let anyone get in the way of my pivot so um speaking of speaking of pivoting we now go to kyle and sutton they're at a rooftop bar and sun's like the last time i was here at this bar i got a little um botox because i was here for an oscar party yeah i guess that's my way of not really talking about botox but mentioning that i got invited to an oscar party what about you kyle what party did you get invited to recently was there a glad bag opening that you you got to go to and he's like she's like

Yes. But how long ago was that? A month ago. Yeah, it was a recent Oscar party. That's what you call it, Kyle. Anyway, you want to talk about all the things going on in your life? I just want to get that in there. It was about a month ago that got my Botox. Can you tell, Kyle? And Kyle's like, um...

How rude. It's been a really tough year for me. It's been a really tough year for me. You know, it's been a really tough year for me. And for some reason, it's showing on your face, which is really weird. She's so rude. So then, oh, by the way, there was a comment. The Oscars.

There was a DM, or, oh, God, now what's going on? They're on the roof now? I don't know what's happening in the house. I'm scared. Something terrifying is happening up there. The hills do have police. I was like, why did you stop speaking about the bad-ass work? I didn't give you permission to stop speaking. I built myself a podium right on your roof. Okay.

Someone sent me a DM last week saying, Ronnie, like, get over your Kyle thing. You know, it's a really long time to hold a grudge about Lisa Vanderpump. I don't hold a grudge about Lisa Vanderpump. I think Lisa Vanderpump really, really failed on her last season by running away and not sticking up to these people. I mean,

feel like she let me down as a fan. I said that at the time. This has nothing to do with that. That's old news. Kyle is currently annoying. I'm not going off things that were annoying last season. I'm starting fresh. This is fresh annoyance, okay? This is not some stale shit I'm giving you from last year. This is freshly baked, okay? You're welcome. Okay, go on. Fresh baked annoyance. So... I'm willing to give new chances. You just keep failing them, okay? Yeah.

Kyle's having a real big villain season. I feel like Kyle is always the villain, but the show does not treat her like the villain. I feel like the show treats her like the hero still. But I think this is the first season where the show is acknowledging that Kyle is the villain and it's really exciting. And so, I think we all have a right to dislike Kyle on her own terms, not because of any grudge from Lisa Vanderpump. And I think that's what you're responding to and what I'm responding to.

So the producer basically asked Sutton why she trusts Kyle again. And Sutton's like, "Who said I trusted her? I just wanted to brag that I went to an Oscar party. That's it. Now I got to listen to her talk about bullshit."

And then we see because we see the whole onslaught of things that Kyle did to Sutton last year where she was trying to gaslight her and make her an alcoholic and being like, oh, my God, are you just you must be on your medication. I mean, I don't know. You're just not acting like yourself, which is what Kyle is currently doing to Dorit, where Dorit doesn't agree with Kyle on something. So Kyle's like, oh, my God, something's going on with you where you're just not even yourself. Like, I don't even know who you are. Like, it's going to probably turn into are you drinking? Are you have because that's what Kyle does. She starts insinuating shit about you.

And so then, you know, we come back and then, um,

Sutton's like, so Kyle goes, do you like my bag? Because she got a new bag in Saint-Tropez. And then Kyle's like, isn't it subtle? And then we see a picture of Kyle in Saint-Tropez with a giant bag that says Saint-Tropez. Yeah, Kyle. Yeah, super subtle. Sutton literally says, I love that bag so much. And she goes, isn't it great? It's from Saint-Tropez. I got in Saint-Tropez. Yeah, Kyle, we can see. It says Saint-Tropez on it. Fucking idiot! So...

She's just so shameless. Okay. So Sutton is like, oh, was that your last family vacation before your family was broken? I went to an Oscar party. And Kyle's like, yeah, well, no, we did all just do stagecoach together. Yeah. And we all stayed at our house there that we have because we have a house there in La Quinta. So we went there together as a family because everything's great. And Sutton's like,

Really? I mean, we were in different rooms. I was in the room that was reserved for people who've been in Halloween. And it was great. It was a great time at Stagecoach when I was in my Halloween room. So I was like, oh, okay. Well, it's just weird. Is the alarm clock in there? Is a brick being thrown at your face? So that, you know, that's kind of uncomfortable. But, you know, I did have it installed. So how's it going with you? And she's like, we're all getting along. And Sutton goes, for now. She's like, no, we're... We're...

We're going to get along. I mean, we get along. We're going to get along. Son's like, I just think when it comes to money, people can be different. Listen, I trust that in a sense because everything we have is like 50-50. So yes, of course, the agency is also mine. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because first of all, he always says it was written in a book that

That if it wasn't for my wife, I would not have done this. And so like he, and he goes on interviews. I'm not even joking. He says like, if it wasn't for me, so it's like really my business too. Like, I think it's not just sudden. We're all saying like, Kyle, he is not going to, this is not going to, this will not last. I love when son says,

I don't see the book being used as evidence in divorce court. Those forensic people are going to come in there and burn that book. Yeah. Well, we've seen so many nasty divorces, especially in Beverly Hills and on Beverly Hills. But I believe I read somewhere that Kyle is part owner of the agency. I believe that she's part owner. So I don't think that he could completely just fuck her over.

true but he can try that's the thing is that like he may not be able to do it but she i think is fooling herself if she thinks that he's not gonna try to be like okay god can get like 25 and she'll be like um no it's 50 50. i just bought that percentage he's gonna take he's gonna go after that percentage yeah we'll see but yeah i never trust in a divorce never have this trust but who knows what they're even doing these two you know what i mean they might just be like oh let's just be like best friends and still stay married i mean who knows what they're doing i don't know

So she's trying too hard to make me care and it just makes me care less. Like, I don't care. So Kyle's like, we started with nothing and we built it together. And there's nothing like to, you know, there's nothing to have half. And I mean, that's it. That's it. She goes, well, I just don't trust any of them. And she tells us, the lesson is very clear coming out of my marriage. Men do not like parting with their wives.

Money, honey. Well, don't you make like 350 grand a month? I mean, he's parting with it. Who does want to be like that? Sure. He doesn't. Who would? Yeah. So yeah, that's not for you. Go get your money. Kyle. I think I'm going to be very honest with you. I went to an Oscar party. Also,

Let me tell you, I don't even remember who was playing at that Oscar party, but my favorite song was the sound of Lisa Rinna outside knocking on the door begging to be let in. I told her I had a ticket for her, but I didn't. It was so funny. I mean, you just heard outside, Arsehole. It's the best song. I recorded it on my phone if you want to listen to it.

Listen, I just called up Lisa. I said, look, I can't get you into the Oscar party, but I do hear they have a spot reserved for you at the TV Land Awards. So enjoy. Hey, welcome to Happy's Place. There's a happiest place on play. I just want to have a place for my family. We have to watch Happy's Place. Can we watch Happy's Place live on the air with Reba McEntire?

The way that you weave Happiest Place in between Heather Dubrow and Natalie Serena, it's perfect. It just cracks me up. Happiest Place. McIntyre is a barkeep. So I just do this with my family.

What if we have a show with Holly Hunter and Reba McEntire? Hi, I'm Holly Hunter, and I'm starring in Happy's Place with Reba McEntire. Well, look at you. You sure are Holly Hunter. Hunter free. Holly Hunter free. That's funny, huh? Now, listen, Happy. I know your name may be Happy, but if we're going to do things, we're going to do things my way. Okay, you're going to be quiet. I'm going to bring in some files. You're going to write down some testimony, and then we're going to take this all the way to the top.

Darn tootin', sister. I love a lady with a notebook. Have a seat. Have a shot. Want a beer? Here's my cousin. This is my bar, but I just do this for my family. It's Holly Hunter reprising her role from the firm. I don't actually remember. And Succession. Literally everything lately. Oh, Succession. Yeah. She's always talking business. Although I think actually in the firm she was a skittish secretary, but I could be wrong. Either way.

Okay. So you can never have too much Holly Hunter in a, in a recap. So, um, uh, a sudden it's like, well, protect your money. So Kyle's getting kind of annoyed with it. And Kyle, a sudden it's like, you need to file. And she goes, listen, if you go on to do something from the date of filing, that's yours. Okay. Amazon mine.

Amazon live mine. It should be yours, Kyle. Don't give half of that to Mauricio. And she's like, everybody tells me I draw a line in the sand, but like, I mean, people are like, like who filed? Are you filing? Did he file? Are you going to file? Like, that's the stuff I really just don't understand. Like, we'll figure it out.

You do you. You lovely, lovely idiot. So Sutton's like, yeah, Kyle needs to get a grip and go talk to an attorney. I mean, quickly, run. Do not walk. And Kyle's like, this is a tortured conversation. I'm just having such a tough two years. Sounds like, yes, it is a tortured conversation, mainly because you're involved. You know how hard it is for me to come up with topics to discuss with you because you're very dumb.

Anyway, should we talk about surrealism? Nope. I know you don't know anything about that. Dolly. Oh, don't want to go back to that again. Got to talk about sheep for 10 minutes. Well, anyway, I'm just trying to give you tough love and I just want you to be smart. LOL. How? Richard's being smart. Okay. Anyway, good luck on that journey. Am I right? By the way, I'm so sorry. I want to go read that booth over there where I got Botox. Goodbye. Are we done here? I was like, hey, I'm having a difficult year.

Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. Have a heck of a time with Rebecca. The highest tally is Sarah McNally. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. The Bay Area Betches. Bet.

Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMaster.

We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a whiz. It's Liz Sarthy. The incredible edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes. It's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the queen bee. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a can and Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinking violet coutard.

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Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing The Best Idea Yet, a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with. Listen to The Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery Show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In

In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants, and real estate. But Pearlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them.

And soon, investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery+. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial today.