PK wanted to continue partying like they did before, but Dorit preferred to stay home and focus on their children, leading to a shift in their dynamic.
Dorit dealt with PK's alcoholism, bankruptcy, gambling debts, suspected DUI, and other undisclosed issues.
Sutton's party planner worked tirelessly to transform the venue into a surrealist wonderland, featuring synchronized swimmers, circus performers, and an alpaca.
Kyle initially avoided reaching out to Dorit, fearing her message would be seen as manipulative, despite Dorit's separation and financial struggles.
Boz and Dorit connected over their shared experiences of marital struggles, with Boz revealing her widowed status and Dorit discussing PK's alcoholism.
Kyle felt hurt by Dorit's comments at BravoCon, while Dorit was upset that Kyle distanced herself after starting to date Morgan, leading to a tense confrontation.
Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. And Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James. Audible, there's more to imagine when you listen.
I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible. Especially when it's told by a full cast like that. Like it's a full production. It's going to be like a radio play, you know?
That's major. Go to audible.com slash crappins and discover all the year's best waiting for you. That's audible.com slash crappins. Reconnecting with people in your life is so important and sending a holiday card is a meaningful way to do that, but it can be hard to know where to start. Shutterfly makes it so easy to share a custom card that's perfectly you. Shutterfly has a style for everyone. Find a card that reflects your vibe.
No professional photos, no worries. Shutterfly multi-photo designs are great for candid photos, travel photos, or even school photos. I love the Shutterfly card feature because I'm so lazy about going to a store and getting a card for people. And so this way I can just be on my phone. I can take a photo. I can upload it to Shutterfly. I can make the card right there and send it off without having to leave my home or wherever I am.
I've been making really funny ones. I mean, I'm the new Maxine. Find the perfect holiday card for you at Shutterfly.com and start customizing today. Enjoy 40% off your Shutterfly order with promo code CRAPPENS40 and send something meaningful this year. Get free shipping on qualified orders. See site for more details.
Is it just me, or has TV gotten really complicated? Thankfully, Philo has changed that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. Philo's got current seasons of the shows I can't miss, live on networks like A&E, Paramount, Discovery, and TLC.
Classics like The Office, Martin and Friends that I never get sick of, and all the incredible originals on AMC Plus from Mad Men Hello to Orphan Black. And don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which I can save and rewatch any time for a whole year. Never miss a minute of shows like
The Golden Girls, you know I'm always watching The Golden Girls, and Philo has it. Best of all, with Philo, you get all of this for just $28 a month. No contract, no hassles. Just one subscription and a world of entertainment. So go to philo.tv and check it out for a free seven-day trial. That's philo.tv to start watching.
Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe.
So that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode. So back to Mauricio and PK. And PK is like, you know, when we started off dating, we were like fucking Bonnie and Clyde. She was my shadow. We were together. I'd go out and she'd come home and she'd stylize the evening. She'd socialize. She'd take a big plexiglass disc and put it on the evening. She stylized it so much. But then we have babies. I'm not saying I'm blaming the babies.
but she started to suck after the babies came so what can i say just thought went down downhill from there he is totally being like this and he's crying like he's such a victim babe you still want to go out and party like you're 30 years old and doreet wants to like stay home and take care of your children he's acting like god damn it and then suddenly we have to be there for these little idiots like gross yes this is a lesson don't don't this is a lesson to people
don't get into relationships with like music managers or people who like work in record companies because they just want to go out and party. And the moment you're like, okay, well we have kids, we should do more homebody things. He's like, Oh,
Berlin's playing down the street. I'm not going to miss that. To even be more judgmental and finger pointing, don't marry a man who leaves his family for you because that's really not going to be a great man. Sorry, it's not going to be good to your family. Like he's not just going to suddenly become a good person. You know what I mean? He's going to get his way or he's going to fucking leave. He doesn't care about anybody but himself. He's a selfish fuck.
And that's not to say everything in the marriage is PK's fault and none of it's Dorit's. I don't know everything in the marriage, but I do know that that's a shitty person and he's not just going to suddenly become not shitty.
Yeah. So then Dorit and Kathy are still talking and, you know, they're just talking about having to work it out. And Dorit tells us, you know, I chose to stick by PK's side, do a bunch of public scrutiny, like bankruptcy, gambling debts, suspected DUI, the raccoon he ran over, all that kind of stuff. I can go on and on. There's more you don't even know about. It's like, yes. The time he stole the gambling debts from a raccoon that he'd just run over. It was very terrible. Yeah.
Yes, you don't ever want to run over a raccoon with a top hat. So is there a way we can meet in the middle? Obviously, but not with someone like PK. It's black, it's white, it's black, it's white. Nah, nah, hey, I'm sorry, what are we talking about?
Kathy's like, I love that song. My dear friend. One of my favorite songs. I played it at Paris' Sweet 16. I'm just trying to say things are getting really bad. Love that one too. God, all the hits.
So now it's time to get ready for the Salvador. Oh, no, this is where Dorit says, at the very least, the best case scenario, we're best friends forever and co-parent our kids. And then we realize we're not supposed to be married, which is not good luck. That's still a ways away. Yes. But by the way, this was significant.
her little monologue before because the way she so casually mentions, oh, the bankruptcy, the gambling debts, the suspected DUIs, these were things that she always tiptoed around and always kind of put a little bit of a spin on it, you know? But now she's like, yeah, this, this, this, and this. It was kind of shocking to me when I heard her just...
outright say those things yeah um yeah i mean she's just like fuck it i'm just gonna burn it all down now i'm not protecting him and didn't he say at one point we're like bonnie and clyde and i thought that was so funny because i think these two are such criminals and scammers like fakers and so it's funny that he frames it like that by the way bonnie and clyde didn't end well so no
Didn't really start well either, to be honest. Yeah, the middle was good, though. They had fun in the middle, that's for sure. When people compare themselves to Bonnie and Clyde, I'm like, I don't know if... I don't think that's a model of a great relationship. Like Romeo and Juliet. Like... Did you stay till the end of that one? Like Medea and anyone. Yeah, I don't think anybody says that. This is a real Medea relationship. Yeah.
I was talking about the Greek tragedy, not how
tyler perry's so um well neither i don't know everybody wants their relationship compared to either of those well medea's always getting into trouble she's like in jail she's always in jail it's like medea goes back to jail it's like i don't know if i want to be in a relationship with medea either to be honest medea just basically follows earnest movies remember it's like earnest goes to camp medea goes to camp okay okay earnest goes to jail medea goes to jail okay medea back off of earnest's
Matt. Okay. Medea goes to rehab. Wait, that's got, got sad. Because Medea is a full-blowny hootie. So, uh, Sutton is getting dressed. Her stylist is there putting antlers on her head. And, uh, she's like, do I look weird? And they're like, yeah. It's like, well, is this your idea of surrealism? They're like, yeah, I guess. I don't know. I just looked it up on Google this afternoon. It's like, okay, that's good enough.
So she's in little ballet slippers and some kind of, I don't know, black dress and stuff. So we see Erica. She looks crazy. She's getting busy. Her surreal is like pink eye surrealism. Pink eye? I just want to look like a little girl who poops and then touches her eyes. Go for it, boys. Yeah, she winds up ultimately...
looking like a guillermo del toro creature which was badass by the way she i thought it was amazing really fucking cool i thought i thought it did seem like very surreal
yes and the shoulders with her eyes were shoulders i loved it yeah um so then um we see uh so but anyway we used to go see kyle now and kyle is you know putting on her heels and stuff and she called she facetimes hathy kathy kathy and uh she's like i'm just trying to wear what decided what to wear with this name and kathy's like um how about a turban
Turbans are so surreal. It's like, it's like fabric, but not lying down. That's surreal. It's wrapped up. Yeah.
So then we go to Dorit and she's getting glam done. And Dorit, by the way, is being foreclosed on. So, you know, every time I see this, I'm like, oh, she's lucky Emily's not on this show. What are you doing getting glam? Kyle's like, well, guess what? I'm getting five closed on. I guess just like a little bit more scary than Dorit.
Yeah. So, Erica's like, so what are you wearing? She's like, oh, Erica, it's a fitted fishtail and this massive plexiglass disc on my head. She's like, oh, wow, that's really surreal. What are you talking about? Oh, for the party. Oh, I haven't decided yet for the party. This is just to go to Trader Joe's. Oh, man.
um it's like well as far as i know about seeing kyle you know it is what it is we're gonna have to do it sometime aren't we well we're gonna do it for the record on my head damn it so uh listen there's nothing like coming in to have a big fight with someone dressed like a lazy susan i say you go yes thank you i love those kind of hats by the way those hats from the 80s the big bat
a severe brim i love a severe brim so then we cut to kyle and kathy and kyle's like obviously with the news that came out my instinct was to send a message i just i feel weird to send a message to pk but not to read but if i send a message to read she's gonna say it's a manipulation well kyle if it's a sincere message you can live in the truth of knowing you sent it sincerely and if she thinks it's a manipulation she's gonna think that whatever that's not up to you but you're like wouldn't you rather do the right thing
rather than be so concerned about what she's going to think about it. Like, please stop trying to make yourself the victim in the situation when she's the one going through a separation. Just send a text message. And the fact that she's not willing to send that text message just shows that she's just really a shitty friend. I just think it's funny that she doesn't think sending PK a text message is going to look like a manipulation to do. Right? That is the more manipulative move, by the way. Yeah. So then... I got really angry really quickly just now, Ronnie. So...
so then we go to Dorit and Erica's chat and Dorit's like you know the timing of a message is very very convenient very very they're very cute and Dorit does the whole you both have valid points yada yada are we still talking why have you not asked me about my music career at least one time come on Dorit
So Kyle's like, I know who I am and I know what my intentions are, which is why I didn't send the text message because she's going to accuse me of manipulating. But that's, and that's all I care about. So you don't get to say and do these things that are showing yourself not to be my friend and expect me to continue to treat you the same. I am not a doormat. I'm like, okay, Kyle. So you're,
This lady's marriage has fallen apart and you're still going to make it about you. You're not the doormat. You're the bloody, you're the fucking muddy shoes, Kyle. So then we go to Sutton Surrealism Party and there's synchronized swimmers and there's like circus people and like an alpaca. Very popular alpaca.
And people are showing up. And then there's like a walkthrough. There's Nicole as the party planner walking, doing everything. And Sutton is very happy with how everything looks. And we see that four hours earlier, it was not up to her standards, but now it is. And Sutton's like, I love this party. There's a woman on stilts with three faces, but enough about Kyle. There's also an alpaca. There's swimmers in the pool. There's oddities at the bar. Fashion is odd. It's surreal sometimes. Let me see what everyone can come up with.
And there's like a collage of eyes on the floor. And the party. Not one melted clock. Not one melted clock. I mean, hello, Dolly. Not a one. So then she's talking to the party planner. She says, well, I guess this looks a lot better than it did this morning. Kind of must be hell to work for Sutton. We see the morning. Sutton comes out. They're not done. They've just started setting up. So it's like, I don't like it. I don't like it. It's gross. Yeah.
I feel like that must be very difficult to work for or work under. So Jennifer Tilly arrives first. She's wearing a black swan, like Bjork kind of thing, wrapped around her neck. And she's like, this looks amazing. It's so gorgeous and glamorous. Oh God, you look fantastic too. You look great.
So then Dorit comes and she's got her silver chrome mermaid dress with a giant silver disc hat. And then she trips. She's like, holy shit, fool. I'm walking like P.K. The fool blown out. The music is...
It really sounds like it is like the finale of Game of Thrones where everyone is assembling to determine who will get the throne. It's like, every time someone comes out of their sprinter van, everything freezes. They put like some like image of Los Angeles behind them. And it's like, and now another one enters the ring.
I just, there's another, there's a monkey there. And they're like, look, it's a monkey. And I just love thinking of Tanya from Chimp Crazy. Just being, well, here's your monkey. Just go ahead and leave it in. You guys having some kind of party here? No one's going to invite me. I guess that's all right. I ain't got to get another monkey up to the door. But I could stay if you want me to. I don't really have to. I'll just be out in my car if anybody wants me.
yeah yeah me now looking at those things are babbling owls so um i thought the exact same thing i immediately thought about tanya donkey b so um uh everyone's saying hi hi hi hi hi hello and son's like oh dory do you have a plate on your head she's like yes yes and you both look fabulous yes it is a plate so um everyone's like so it sounds like
what the hell is he wearing this is not surreal she's making fun of her at the surreal party she's like that is modern not surreal damn somebody is in the wrong wing of the art museum she's like oh are you wearing a condom she's like what all that all that all that plastic it's not plastic it's rubber goodness gee
So then a new SUV pulls up and we meet Buzz. And she's gorgeous. And she is dressed to the tens. I mean, she looks amazing. Oh, my God. Her hair is amazing. She's a Barbie doll for sure.
Yeah, she has all these like ruffles and she's just got this big giant gown and she has an assistant who's like moving her train around the entire party. It's not just when she gets out of the Sprinter van. I spotted him like no matter what this guy the entire night, it was his job to make sure that train was in the right place at the right time. Gotta love it. That's that's what we need people.
And so Boz is like, oh my God, first of all, this headdress, I can't. And she's like, I know, don't get too close to it because I'm going to poke somebody's eye and I'm sure of it. She's like, we'll get stuck together.
because she's all balls you know she's like these huge balls in the train yeah and doreet doreet has been like intermittently taking off her disc because it's probably heavy or something so she's like oh god new cast member so she like puts on this like this frisbee on her head and she walks on over and she's okay well bows this is doreet okay and this is bows and she's gorgeous and she knows she told me today i gotta have my assistant get me out of the car
Isn't that funny? And Bozema's like, yeah, he might be under here. Hold on one second. Let me just kick my leg back. Yeah, he's under my dress right now. So then Dorit's like, Booz, what's he do?
And she was like, well, I'm recently retired from 25 years. Yes, 25 years in corporate America. I was the chief marketing officer of Netflix, the chief marketing officer of Uber, the chief marketing officer at Endeavor, which owns WME. So I've done a lot of things. Right now, I'm just chief officering of everybody here. I actually own this entire block now. So that's what I'm doing here. Okay. How about you, Toots?
Wow, so you're a chief officer. That's amazing. So you're basically corporate America all wrapped up in one fabulous human being. She's like, yes, yes, I am. So- Valley who capitalism, that's what I'm saying. Dorit's like, am I allowed to say you go girl? Bo's like, please don't. So Sutton's like, yeah, Bo's the real deal. People might pretend to be the boss, but she's the boss.
she's literally the boss so then um jennifer um who's jennifer she's somebody oh there's like a yeah is she like a friend of she's like a lady who just sort of like appears and then is like jennifer decadent was that her name no that was amanda right the cat i remember that name hold on let me look it up decadent
um oh i just looked up decadent jennifer decadent amanda decadent's best night ever with courtney love what amanda decadent recalls her best night at the 1995 vanity fair oscars party who this oh my gosh jennifer jennifer tilly it's jennifer tilly
Okay, I know, but I want to know now. Oh, that makes sense. But I want to know who Amanda Ducatini is. I don't know, but it's so funny. Jennifer, out of context, we're like, who is Jennifer? Meanwhile, we spent like 45 minutes talking about her at the top of the episode. We're like, Jennifer, I'm not familiar. Is that a new cast member? She has to be Jennifer Tilly. She's not just a Jennifer. She's Jennifer Tilly. Jennifer has couches. Jennifer leather or whatever. Convertibles. Yeah, convertibles. Jennifer Tilly is very specific.
Yes. So Jennifer Tully's like, if I ever get married in Las Vegas, I'm going to come and borrow that dress from you. And so I was like, well, I want to go see the alpaca right now. So they're all just kind of like doing stuff, saying, hi, oh my God, you look amazing. Everyone, Dorit is like, my first impression of those is, wow, this is a woman that understands the assignment. She's stunning. Which is funny because Dorit often misses the assignment.
So then they're taking photographs and all that stuff, talking about the alpaca. And then Dorit and Buzz start bonding. And she's like, so how are you doing? She's like, well, let me tell you. Have you ever dealt with a little something called a full-blown alcoholic? Literally, this is the dialogue. Buzz goes, how are you doing? She goes, eh.
Why are you air? Well, my husband and I decided to separate, take some time apart. She goes, I'm sorry, he's an alcoholic. That is literally, it is, let's see, one, two, three, four, five, six, six, six lines of dialogue back and forth before Dorit just is like, yes, he's an alcoholic. I'm an alcoholic. If you ever see him around, you can give him a dunce cap and just write alcoholic on it. And Boz is like, oh, okay. Well, we just discovered that.
And actually, he's on a journey of sobriety, doing the steps in the program. Unfortunately, the steps are a little wobbly. What does it mean? Because it's not just a little bit of alcohol. It's wobbly!
So she's like, "Oh, good for him. Yes, nine years married, small children." And Bozema's like, "Okay, if we're gonna do this game, let me just stop you right now. I'm widowed." - I was saving this for a special episode, but since you're just putting your dick on the table right now, let's just go for it. "I'm widowed." She's like, "Ooh, and I'm sorry, but also jealous. Is that weird?" - "Thank you, but the reason why I empathize with you is that 10 years into our marriage, we separated." - Oh!
And we never got divorced. And then he got sick and we reconciled and he had cancer. She's like, I'm also the CMO of having the saddest story here. So don't even try. Don't even try. Not saying that facetiously, by the way. I meant more like whatever setbacks you've had in your life, mine are bigger. So stop it right now. This is my coming out episode, not yours. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.
Listen, weight loss drugs and GLP-1s are all anybody's talking about right now. They're everywhere. But it's confusing to figure out how to get them. But it doesn't have to be. Through HIMS and HERS, you can get access to a budget-friendly weight loss program personalized just for you. HIMS and HERS connects you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine your best treatment option. And if prescribed, you get the medication as part of a doctor-developed weight loss program complete with...
ongoing support, check-ins, medication adjustments, and answers to questions 100% online at no additional cost. Through HIMSS and HERS, weight loss plans are more affordable starting at $1.99 per month with a 12-month subscription paid up front. No hidden fees, no access fees, and no membership fees.
Start your free online visit today at ForHers.com slash crappins. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash crappins for your personalized weight loss treatment options. ForHers.com slash crappins. Hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Restrictions apply.
Hi, listeners. This episode is brought to you in part by Echo Dot Kids. Echo Dot Kids is a cute smart speaker with Alexa made just for kids. Echo Dot Kids can help foster your children's independence by allowing them to learn and explore. Kids can express their unique personalities by customizing their device with fun greetings, jokes, and character-inspired songs.
Plus, with features like Math Help and Trivia Quizzes, your kid will always be learning. You can have peace of mind knowing Echo.Kids automatically gives kid-friendly answers and filters out explicit music. Purchase of an Echo.Kids comes with one year of Amazon Kids Plus, a digital subscription designed for kids aged 3 to 12 to learn, grow, and explore. Shop the device this holiday season at Amazon.com slash Echo Kids.
Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Oh. Or. Oh, okay. Thank you. Well, they're not the sounds you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight, like this. Ooh.
And spontaneously written songs of joy. I am so happy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. To get those, make everyone on your list feel heard with gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, vintage pieces, and home decor. For original gifts that say, I get you, Etsy has it.
Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from DSW because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways and all the styles that show off the many sides of you from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between because you do it all in really great shoes.
find a shoe for every year at your DSW store or DSW.com. So she's like, wow. So how am I confessing all this when we've just known each other 20 minutes and it's like, oh, literally, I mean, ridiculous, right? I mean, we're here to invite socialize. We're invited to socialize. And then here we are just standing in the middle of the party having a therapy session. You fucking weakling.
Oh, yes. Therapy. A therapy session much like the one that PK has to go to now that he's acknowledged that he's a full-blown alcoholic. Of course, his involves a bunch of people sitting around in a circle, of course, waiting to be given a chip. That's the only way they could get him to go. I said, you better go to rehab. He said, I will not. And I said, then give you a chip. He ran. He ran like there were hills.
So Bozma's like, well, I can tell if I like someone instinctually. Like I look you in your eye and I'm like, nope, not a good person. Yep. A good person. Yep. I'm in love. I hate you. Oh, I'd like to throw one in. I'd like to throw one in there. I can sometimes you can just see it. We can just see it.
So she loves Dreet. And Dreet's like, well, I don't know how old y'all are, but you look tween. So she's like, well, I'm 47. Thank you. But they're the same age. So they're like in love right now. Yes. So then Garcelle shows up and her friend Amanda...
new friend, new Courtney Love. So I Googled her and literally every link is like this time that Amanda Ducatine was with Courtney Love. So that's all I really know about her. But we'll see. I'll look more for next time, guys. Everyone in the comments is going to be like, you idiots. She's a British photographer. Come on. Wow. I'm getting nothing. In fact, it's actually like freezing my computer looking up Amanda Ducatine. Maybe I shouldn't look it up anymore. Uh,
The Dicademy curse. Yeah. So then, let's see here. So, Garcelle comes up and she's talking to Dorit. She's like, oh, hello, you look great. And Dorit's like, hi! Look at me looking around in an accent of five. That was hum in French, Portuguese, and Spanish. Mm-hmm.
and italian the last time i saw garcelle she had implied that my home invasion was faked and then we see you know i forgot that she did that yeah and she goes i don't really know where we stand but i i know it ain't good so garcelle's like well i'm a little uncomfortable and then it cuts to her she goes well i'm gonna keep it light and i'm not gonna talk about the big disc on her head
No, I'm not going to do it. Yes, some things are not appropriate to bring up, like the fact that PK is now a full-blown alcoholic. So Kyle, meanwhile, Kyle and Erica are in the SUV together and they're showing up. Kyle's also wearing antlers and Erica has, this is where we see Erica's look, which is pretty amazing.
And so Kyle's like, I'm nervous. So she's doing that thing where, you know, Kyle throws a stone and then is like, oops, I feel bad. I mean, like we always talk about Gina saying, I feel bad. But the original I feel badder is Kyle.
So here they come, coming to the surrealism party. And Erica's like, well, I guess antlers are just a thing now. And so lots of moi's and air kisses and stuff like that. And Sutton and Erica say hello. And what's an alpaca anyway, guys? So then a man with fake money approaches Kyle and introduces a monkey. But this isn't the real monkey. Isn't this a pet monkey? This is like a fake monkey, like a monkey puppet that he has. Yeah.
And he's like, this is Harold. So when Sutton has a party, you got to bring out Harold, right? I'm like, oh, God. It's one of those...
So, um, yeah, it's been always bringing Harold to the parties. This isn't just even a surrealism thing. He's just the puppet person. No, no, sir. So there's a lot of, there's like a lot of pleasantries, a lot of hellos, a lot of like, I'm going to go see the alpaca. That's what everyone does when they don't want to talk to someone. They're like, so great to see you, but I have to go take a photo with the alpaca. It's like sudden that was your 10th photo with it. I know. I just, I'm going to take another photo of the alpaca and get out of this uncomfortable situation. Yeah.
So then, let's see. So, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Oh, so Erica and Garcelle are talking about how busy she is. And Garcelle's like, I'm just so proud. I mean, my age, been in it for so long, and just look at me. And she's like, oh yeah, I saw something on Instagram. It said Garcelle Productions. Oh yeah. So they do that. And so now, it's like, what's going on with you guys? So Kyle's there now. And she's like, oh, well, you know, Mo moved out two weeks ago. And Garcelle's just like, wow. Mm-hmm.
Wow. And then Alexia moved right before that. So it's been like, it's been a lot of changes. Like a lot of people leaving. Yeah, we almost put a chair out in the patio, but the door wouldn't open. So luckily that stayed the same, stayed inside. So Kyle's like, you know, I spend time with people, you know, that make me feel good. But I also want to like talk to everybody tonight. And like, since you're sitting here, Garcelle, I feel safe with you. I'm just going to start with you, everyone.
all the tabloids, you know, all the stories that are out there. I know there's a lot of curiosity about me, an actress who was in Halloween. And I know everyone wants to talk about that. And I'm not going to say her name intentionally that I've been linked to because I don't want to speak on anybody's behalf, but my own. But if we must talk about her, we must. And Carstel's like,
uh it's a little too late to not be able to say morgan's name we've been talking about her she's been with us for a season yeah and then we get a clip of them hanging out morgan being like oh yeah everybody's gonna sleep you're gonna have like a midlife crisis or something with the extra tattoo midlife crisis right and then kyle like
flirting you know their whole flirting thing so now kyle has brought this onto the air kyle really has nerve i'll tell you so she's like yeah well right now there's just nothing to say and i just wish i had some story to say but it's just not what it is okay i would just like to point out literally nobody has asked kyle again nobody cares i feel like it's a safe place though so i'm going to share
You know, the tabloids created an enormous amount of pressure and emotional distress and the media. Oh God, the media. And Carstle's like, yeah, but that music video you guys did wasn't helpful either. I mean, it felt like you were playing coy coy. Thank you for being a safe space for me.
Kyle just getting shut down was so good because Garcelle's like, well, the music video didn't help. And Kyle just looks down like, well, okay, just called you a safe space. So let me just get over that one again and I will continue my monologue about being a victim. Hold on one second. Remember, you're not supposed to challenge me because you're clutching my hand and I called you a safe space. So you're not supposed to do that.
Anyway, Garcelle, this is what I'm saying. You have to always keep Garcelle on this show in this role. Garcelle just needs to be here to call everyone out on their bullshit because it is so fucking funny. She shut Kyle down in two seconds. And Kyle's like, but wait a minute, please. I'm not only a victim today. I'm a possibly gay victim. So that's the ultimate victim cloak. So please let me cloak myself. You know what? It's not my place to talk about other people.
And definitely, you won't hear me talking about Dorit at all, or my sisters, or really anyone on this cast. It's just not my place to do it. So Garcelle's like, God doesn't know any of us or anybody about her sexuality or what's going on in her life. But do we want to know? Yes, yes, yes. Inquiring minds need to know.
Oh my gosh. I'm trying to look up these Morgan Wade lyrics of the song that she wrote when they were in the Chateau Marmont doing coke off Kyle's stage.
stomach or something that alluded to that but i can't find it i'll try and find it for next time they crack me up every time and carl's just like please don't ask me anything please i can't i can't answer any more questions please the press no one is asking you anything nobody cares please don't make me speak for morgan i mean a lesbian for a night you just aren't even trying you know come on man guys i'm still trying to figure things out myself i am
I still am. And I said the last time when we were all together, there was just so much for me to say. I couldn't believe, I couldn't even believe I even said that. So that was a flashback of Kyle saying that she's like evolving. And so then Kyle says this, this is so funny. She goes, I had never even questioned my sexuality all my life. I've been straight and I always knew I was straight. I never was attracted to anyone else. I just was one big straight girl. But then I,
I think all the crazy speculation, it actually made me think twice. So I learned it by watching you, America. You did this to me. I'm like, shut up. Speculation made her think twice. But you were making the speculation happen. Nobody would have even known about any of this had you not brought it on camera and tried to rub it in everybody's face and make them ask you, Kyle. When I was a centimeter from Morgan's lips in that music video, my hand on her hand was
I could feel the dewy breath on my clavicle. I didn't question my sexuality then, but then when America was talking about it, I was like, you know what? Maybe I am gay. Maybe America has made me gay. Thanks a lot, America. She's saying that she's not. That's the thing about her. Kyle's just saying multiple things at once. She's like, everybody thinks that we are, but we're totally not. But maybe I'm questioning it, but I have no idea. She's so full of it. She's trying to make this out for another fucking season and another season.
you know, promotion of an album that's coming up. It's just so lame. She's trying to get people out of it. Do something else. You know what I mean? No, she's trying to do like a typical housewife storyline, but to bring like gayness into it, it's just so performative and so ridiculous. I don't even believe it. I don't even think Kyle has enough emotion to even be gay or straight. I think at this point, she's just like following the clicks. You know what I mean? It's just whatever she can get attention from. You're annoying. I,
I think that basically she is trying to get out of trouble, you know, because people are like, you know, like, if you're gay, just come out and say it, Kyle, like you're queer baiting because people are saying that she's queer baiting. Right. And this is her way of saying I'm not queer baiting because I thought I was straight. I've always been straight. And in fact,
It was you people that made me start to think about being gay. So it's almost like you forced me to be the queer baiter. Like, that's kind of, I feel like the vibe she's kind of giving us. I'm like, it wasn't gay until the audience made it gay by questioning everything that she was doing because she was purposely making it gay. So people would question her. I mean, it's just like, whatever, whatever, Kyle, no one's falling for it. Just be quiet. So she's like, well, you know, and then my kids and my kids. And, you know, of course, her kids are modern children. They're like, go for it.
Yeah. Do it. And then she's like, and that's when I was the proudest ever. When my kids said, go for it. I was the proudest mother. But it's still not really, she still hasn't, there's nothing. It's still a little unclear. Cause she's sort of just alluding again. She's like, she says, it's scary for me to admit to myself. I told my daughters first. This is my first time.
this is a big deal my daughter said go for it like but she's still not outright saying anything like it's like we're she's leaving it up to us to infer things and what's annoying is that like she literally just then kind of almost made us try to try to make us feel guilty for inferring things she's like i wasn't oh no that wasn't me it was only until you said it that i started thinking about it but it wasn't wasn't me so the thing that's so infuriating and i already talked about
this on the most recent crappy hour for people who are getting this as a repeat. Sorry, but it's important to this conversation. Kyle just did a interview where she was saying, you know, in the LGBT community, you're not supposed to ask people about their sexuality. That is something that they have a right to come upon that discussion by themselves and this and that.
okay, Kyle, but you know, to use this and make yourself a whole victim and try and drag the LGBT community into it and all of that is just not fair. It's not cool. And a closeted person and everything that you're dealing with is one thing, but you're purposely coming on TV and making people question you and using a somewhat semi-celebrity to do it to get you clicks and points. And it's just gross. It's gross. You're purposely doing it and then you're making everybody else into a homophobe for asking you about
that's not cool like fuck off like there's real homophobia and real shit that people are dealing with without you making it some shallow stupid storyline for your little housewife show because you don't have anything going on quiet down over there quiet down so um anyway they give
focus on myself and you know all that usual stuff and then Dorit walks over she's like hello and I was like thank god for Dorit with her big compact disc head right now Kyle's just trying to lay the groundwork for her victim story head and Dorit's like hello got a record on my head
So she comes over and Kyle's just looking around, like licking her lips. Like, ah, I mean, I, so, um, they air kiss and it's like, uh, so is that a weapon? And they're, you know, joking about each other's clothes and stuff. So then, um, Boz and Amanda walk over to everybody's basically gathering now. Right. So,
they're like maybe we join in and boss just takes that huge dress and plops herself down yes just plops down in the middle of everybody um so then dorit's looking at her phone kyle's looking around and everybody's like this is awkward you know really really awkward and garcelle's like you can cut the tension with a knife so then um sutton and uh garcelle go off to get a drink and stuff and now
Now it's time to have a talk. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah. Dun, dun, dun. Well, first Kathy. Well, it's awkward. What'd you say? First Kathy arrives and she arrives in like a muumuu from the seventies. I'm not sure why that's surreal.
Nothing about this is real. So she gets there and then she goes up to the table and Boze is like, how are you? I'm Boze. And Kathy's like, oh, I know exactly who you are. I'm thrilled to meet you, boss. And then Dorit's like, Boze! Boze! No, it's the boss. I know it's Boze, but she's the boss. The boss. And Boze is like, that's fine. She's saying the boss. I'll take it. I will be the boss. So
so then um let's see so kathy's like it's so hot kathy's like oh my god all right well now that i've had that little boss banter huh i'm hot i gotta take these extensions out so then she just starts pulling out her extensions and she's like oh get them out get them out get them off of me she's like she's pulling them out and everything and bob's just like is she
Are you taking that out of your head? She's like, I can't breathe. Otherwise, I'm going to have to change. I just need to get them out. And so this lady is just staring at her like, what the hell? She says, we're in a ball, sister. And you're just going to take out these extensions out of your head? Your own head?
She's like, even if my wig had fallen halfway to the side, I'd be sitting here like this holding it up. But like for me to take it off and sit it on a chair and then we see a shot of the extensions piled up on the little chair. She's like, because when I say that I've never seen that in my life, I have never seen that in my life.
So then Sutton gives a speech about, you know, I'm just everybody. I just want you to know I'm rich. I'm very, very rich. Okay. Now here's somebody named Yella. Let's see what she's going to do for us. Okay. And it's a performer named Yella Cat, which Sutton just knows her so well. She could be like, here's my friend Yella.
hey get up there yellow last name cat so yellow cat gets up there and she's like hi everybody i'd like to sing a morgan uh morgan wade single my pussy's on fire she's like power of the pussy girl you gotta be choosy superpower pussy that's right like yeah this is what you call lyrics hello
Erica's one of those when anybody else performs, she literally has to be in the front yelling back at them. I'm a performer too! I got a song about pussy too, girl! One jam of my favorite lyrics. Pussy in the python! It's about the song, Erica. You know, I do like some. I mean, do I get irritated with this woman and want to smack the shit out of her? Yes. However, she has great parties and that's good enough for me for a friendship.
So I was like, I'm actually speechless. Speechless. That's more power of the pussy song. And then let's see. Kathy's loving it. She's like raising her arms like, yes, power of the pussy.
so black and white now it's time for the talk kyle comes up to dree she's like do you have a minute maybe we could have a talk so they go to have a talk and dree just sits down and goes coil coil coil coil coil coil coil first of all
I just would like to say I'm very sorry with what's going on with you and PK. I know we both have a lot of hurt. And we both have a lot of different feelings. Because I just want to remind you, even though you're going through a divorce, I'm going through something too, which is that you said something sort of mean about me at BravoCon. So I think it's kind of like the same thing. So anyway, we both have a lot of work to do.
She did nothing to you, unfortunately for you. I'm sorry, but we all have a TV. She got upset that you just stopped calling her and blew her off the minute you started dating Morgan or, or hanging out with Morgan. And you said it's because Dorit didn't like to hike and now you were healthy. Yeah.
And then when she said you were hurting her feelings, now you're trying to turn it on her after you've completely ditched her for now, what, over a year? And now you're just like, "I know that we're both hurt and we both have feelings." No, this is all on you, sorry. So Dorit's like, "Well, you saying something on 'Ibzeen Live' was the proverbial straw that broke the Camille's back."
And I've finally had enough. I've had enough of feeling like I'm tossed around like a salad, not eaten by PK, even though someone put effort into that. And used whenever you want to. And three... How do you say that? How can you say that? Well, because I'm made to feel like I have to reevaluate whether we're friends. She's like, well, if you're gonna only be aggressive and not be open. And...
Dorit doesn't even let her say honest. You're an aggressive ignorer and friend dumper. Yeah. Stop. Okay, you know what? I'm having this, because Dorit's like, I don't want to hear it, Kyle. But I'm having this conversation, Dorit, because if I hope to get to the other side of this, she's like, well, let's try to start. Because it's going to take some time, Kyle. We're going to have to start being very, very honest. Okay, well, I need you to listen now, okay? I need you to. PK's a full-blown alcoholic. I just want to add that. Go on.
Why are you acting like this? She's like, I'm feet up, Kyle. I'm feet up. She's like, because I'm explaining myself. You're not explaining yourself. You're immediately making this. You did nothing wrong. So let's just move past it. It's not explaining yourself. And I love that Dorit's like, no. She's like, I thought we were going to be honest. Okay, let's be really honest and let's really talk about real stuff. And she's like, you're literally not even acting like you right now.
Like, I don't even know what's going on with you. She's like, because I'm not putting up with your shit anymore, Kyle. I'm not. I'm not doing it. And then Kyle just turns, like, to the cameras and makes a face like, oh, really? Yep. You better buckle in because nobody gives a shit anymore, Kyle. And I'm so excited. Yeah. I cannot believe how bad of a friend Kyle is right now. Like, A, she downgrades the friendship. But even if she hadn't done it, regardless, put that to the side. This is still your friend.
who's going through a divorce and your first thing is to text pk and then when you talk to your friend for the first time since this news come out comes out saying i'm sorry about your divorce but we're both going through things like you know what she is so shitty it is wild it really is um uh but you know
Fun too. Gotta say. So fun. So that was the first episode. Really good times. Thanks everybody for being here during this very special two part episode. We'll be back tomorrow. Well, later today or tomorrow, who knows with some real housewives of New York and also real housewives of Salt Lake city and a bonus episode still for the week. So we'll be back soon. We'll talk to you guys next time. Thanks. Love you guys. Bye. Bye.
Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alison King! It's always automatic with Ashley Otto! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! Put your hands together for Carly Clapp! Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt! Dana C. Dana Do! Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no tricolous! Jamie, she has no less namey! You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones! Hava Nagila Weber!
Know Your Worth with Jason Kurz. Zip Some Scotch with Jessica Trotch. She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Rigging the Funk, it's Leslie Plunkett. She Gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's Give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Always Killin' It, it's Lola Alcalani. We Love Her on the Rocks, it's Melissa Cox.
Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. Have a heck of a time with Rebecca. The highest tally is Sarah McNally. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors...
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy. The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinking violet couture. We love you guys.
If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. I'm Lindsey Graham, host of Wondery's show American Scandal. We bring to life some of the biggest controversies in U.S. history. Presidential lies, environmental disasters, corporate fraud. In
In our latest series, entrepreneur Lou Pearlman becomes the mastermind behind two of the biggest pop groups in the world, the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. He also oversees a sprawling business empire that includes a charter jet company, restaurants, and real estate. But Pearlman's successful facade crumbles after he's sued by the boy bands for siphoning millions from them.
And soon, investigators discover that Perlman is keeping his empire afloat through an even more devious scheme. Follow American Scandal on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad-free and be the first to binge the newest seasons only on Wondery+. You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial today.
Have you ever wondered who created that bottle of sriracha that's living in your fridge? Or why nearly every house in America has at least one game of Monopoly? Introducing The Best Idea Yet, a brand new podcast about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with. Listen to The Best Idea Yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.