#2625 Below Deck Sailing Yacht S05E07: Tender Disses
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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about. I'm ye olde bruvs. I'm Rondall. It's my name. Guess who I'm with?

Ben, you're so sweet. Hi, Ben. How are you? Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. Just, you know, an average day of BuzzSong going on in the background, things being chopped up, people being dismembered in my house because this place is almost done. Everybody, we are on Crap and Zond Demand today. Hi, video people. And we're also doing a bonus this week, which is going to be fun. We've also got an extra recap this week because Beverly Hills returns.

If you want to watch all these videos, get all our bonus episodes, et cetera, et cetera, join us over on Patreon. Okay, that's where you do that. It's easier now. Simple. One easy monthly charge. It's not a bunch of bullshit. Okay, so go over there and do that. And if you don't want to pay, you will still have access to all videos on YouTube. So go join our YouTube. They're just coming out a week later. Okay, but if you want them immediately, get your ass to Patreon. There's no way around it.

And I think that's it. We have a great week coming up. We're so excited. And we have a great Below Deck recap coming your way in five, four, one second. Here we are. It's Below Deck, everybody. Below Deck Sailing.

Yeah, below deck sailing, another season, another boat crash, you know, just the standard, standard below deck sailing activity. Also, it's another charter and they still have not yet figured out the concept that if the boat tilts, everything falls out of the cupboards and crashes. It's just still like still working on that. So working on trying to.

Figure out how to not make them. They all blame Glenn, too, which is so funny. They all get mad at Glenn. Daisy's like, Glenn, can you stop jumping the goddamn boat? Well, no, it's a sailing boat. What are you going to yell at Walt Disney for being decapitated? It's Disneyland. His head's in a freezer somewhere. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. That's the nature of where you are. Yeah, exactly. His head throws up somewhere, right? It is, but I'm sorry. That caught me off guard because I was like, I forgot. That's like the...

I was like, that's the thing with Walt Disney. I forgot. That's the thing. You rose his head. I forgot too. I forgot Gen X. Right now. Yeah. And you know what? Probably in our lifetime, they will reanimate that weird little head. It'll come back to life and he'll be like, oh my God. Hi everybody. I was dead, but I paid $500,000 whole dollars. And now look, I have a new life. I'll be like $500,000. That's nothing. Charge him more.

First of all, I appreciate the pun of him being reanimated. Second of all, I would love for Walt Disney to come back to life. And he's like, all right, everyone, I'm back. So let's get back to it. Everyone, pitch me your ideas for a hand-drawn animation feature film. And they're like, so some things have changed.

Walt Disney would be cancelled in two seconds, let's face it. He'll be like, you know what I miss? Song of the South. Let's do that one again. My screenwriting professor in college wrote Song of the South. What? Yes. And then he was blackballed. It was blacklisted. Yeah, so...

I was going to say black balls. Wow, that took a twist. Yeah, it took a big twist. So, yeah. So, just happy to announce that my screenwriting career has fascinating foundations. Well, that explains a lot. He was like 85 years old. His dad started MGM. He was like, okay. He's basically Bronwyn's husband. Interior. That's the inside of something. Oh, Jesus.

Rest in peace, Professor Rath. Speaking images, not in words, but write down the images in words. Got it? Go. So did not expect that we were going to go down this path before we dove into Blood, Dice, and Kill. After Walt Disney. Boo. Boo. Reanimated Walt Disney head. Get rid of him. He doesn't even have a wiener anymore. Get rid of him.

Okay, everybody, welcome to Below Deck Sailing Hot. This is called my super sideways 16, which is cute. And it's just another episode where, you know, if there's someone that Gary does not want to stick his penis into, they magically become terrible at their job. You know what I mean? I feel like he would be much more complimentary if he found this chick hot. Now that said...

This chick is extremely lay lay. She's so lazy. Oh my God. You've got time to mope. You got time to mop. Okay. Yeah. She's late. She is lazy. We've loved Emma, but she, she is extraordinarily lazy. I think the difference is that if Gary saw, uh,

a romantic spark there, he would have more patience with her and maybe teach her more or motivate her more or care to motivate her more. But since he's not going to be banging her and he's like, well, she's over 23, so that pretty much makes her an old hag and untouchable, so therefore, Emma, are you going to wipe that down? No, I don't know how to motivate her then. I only motivate people with my penis. If that doesn't work, I don't know what to do with it.

So it's the last day of charter. Diana just told Keith about Danny's kiss with Gary. Daisy's having a choice with Cloyce about his work. So Daisy's like, I think that things are a little bit last minute there, Cloyce. And I think the dinners need to be a bit more elaborate. And I think we're in set in the B's. The sun's going down. Romance, am I right? Yeah.

I just want it to be more like, wow, this is the most beautiful plate I've ever seen. That's 20 full pitas in the basket. So Cloyce is like, yeah, I'm definitely working on it. You know, I have a track record of general success and professionalism, and I have actually frequently been called the most reliable chef on the West Coast.

Yeah, but like being the most reliable chef, you can go to McDonald's and that's going to be a reliable food. I don't think reliability is what we what you like want first from a chef on a super yacht. I think you want like innovative, good, excellent, high taste level. Reliable is just like, OK, you can make omelets. Good old reliable. You know, here's the thing. I love reliability. I've never had it, but I love it.

And I prefer that a chef who makes claims like that about himself has citations. That's what I need. I need footnotes. You can't just say, I've often been called the most reliable chef on the West Coast. By who, sir? Can I, I need quotes.

and I need like little by Rolling Stone or something underneath, like a movie poster. You can't just be saying you get all this credit. You're 22. No one has said that about you. Everybody has just said he is reliably the youngest person with a Republican haircut, Republican congressman haircut that we've ever seen on the West Coast. That's it. You don't have anything else. Being named most reliable chef, that is like beyond a consolation prize because

as a chef, you are supposed to be inherently reliable. So you don't, you shouldn't get any extra prizes for being like extra basically have an extra basic quality of your job. It's like, I'm the most able to understand the difference between salt and pepper, you know, like, so being most reliable to me, that sounds like the sort of yearbook superlative that like the yearbook council comes up with because they want to honor someone, but they don't have anything left to say. Cause most successful and like best eyes or nicest smile is,

has already been taken. So they're like, I don't know, most reliable? Sure, we'll give that to Cloyce because everyone else got something. Oh, poor reliable people. They're like, damn it. I've worked so hard to be reliable and Ben just ripped me a new one. I think in the world of chefery,

I'm going to say most reliable is a consolation title that he was given. Cause like everyone else in the boat clearly got something and they're like, ah, Cloyce, you're the most reliable, I guess. Reliable. It was like your kids. Right. Cause on this show, the chef's always like got a kid somewhere living overseas. Yeah. So I guess maybe they're reliable in the kitchen, but I don't know all around reliable.

No offense, Josh. I meant just for cooking, not in terms of personal life or presence with family. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So then he's like, yeah, I'm great. So for someone to have even a glimmer of confusion about my abilities is new for me. I mean, they're wrong. So...

How are they wrong? You fucked up like multiple charters in a row. Get it together, sir. Go dye something with some cabbage purple. You micro-impedicate. Go fuck with some cabbage purple and some acid. Okay, get back to me, sir.

Well, you do have the most important job on the boat. Even more important than the captain, because, I mean, look, based on Captain Glenn's record, it's apparent that anyone could drive this boat, right? It doesn't take an advanced degree to crash into a rock, which is apparently all we do. So you have the most important job. I mean, if the boat starts sinking, we need somebody who can drive a croissant, and that's you. So

It's like, okay, well, hopefully it'll get better. It's like, so now it's time to arrive at the port and everything. And so they're heading towards there. And then this one lady, this one guest, she was like a brat the night before. And now someone else drinks a...

One of her friends has a glass of orange juice and she's like, fresh orange juice. And the other lady is like, I'm pretty sure I think I saw it coming out of a box last night, but that's like so cute that you thought that.

And then we see a flashback of Danny juicing the oranges. This thing is just being a butt to be a butt. Yeah, Danny is sitting there like slowly juicing one half after another. And the lady's like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's Chompacana. Yeah. What a dick.

So then everybody's docking the boat without Emma. Because Emma's, you know, moping somewhere. And Cecilia's like, this was such a great experience. Like, I can't tell you how relaxed I was on this trip. I was able to sit on a trampoline and have cocktails. So I appreciate it. Thank you guys so much. I would prefer plated.

She didn't do the, I would prefer plated thing, which I was impressed. Like, yeah, she's fake. You know, you know who I don't want a fake dentist. I want a real dentist. I want someone to open my mouth, shut me up and be like, Ronnie, here's your problem. And then just read me to filth for an hour. Cause that's the only time I really have to listen to, to advice because they've got my mouth in use. Yeah.

That's actually fair. I mean, like, I'm always afraid of being yelled at. Oh, did my camera just quit? No. I'm always afraid of being yelled at by dentists. Like, that's like, it's like twice a year. I'm like, okay, just get ready to be yelled at by your dentist. And they never yell at me. I just always assume that I'm going to get yelled at.

Oh, the assistant. I shouldn't call her the assistant. The dental hygienist or whatever. Oh, they give me shit all the time. Like, oh, really? It's been 12 months since you've been here? Really? What have you been doing? I'm like, staying at home eating fucking candy. What have you been doing? Get off my ass. I don't work for you. I'm paying you to be here. You know what I mean? You should be like, Ronnie, nice sweater. Have you lost weight? Even when I haven't. Like, yeah, you're on the clock. Nice.

Nice sweater. Nice sweater. Say nice sweater. What I'm just saying. See, I want a fake dental hygienist, but not a fake dentist. Yeah. Yeah, my dental... I had a dental hygienist recently who was a little too real with me because her name was Marla and she...

She was like, she was the one who was like, she took my blood pressure because I do that. And then she was like, oh my God, your blood pressure is so high. Like, I'm not even sure I could proceed. And like the dentist came in and was like, it's fine, Marla. Marla was like freaking out. And then they were like, did you have a...

some sort of procedure recently and i was like well i just had an appendectomy and marla goes an appendectomy what is that again i was like okay marla you know what i need you to alarm this fucking marla over there

you made it you made it thank god we just didn't know we just didn't know did you see the light did you go towards it i kept telling you come back man come back marlo we were drilling his goddamn molar okay jeez we're losing him we're all gonna go down we're all gonna be sued okay we got we got i think i give it three hours so we get to the mexican border before they arrest us like marla it's okay we we remove the cavity it's

So now it's time to turn the boat over before the tip meeting. And Emma's like, oh, God, I just don't know why they didn't wake me for the docking. You know, I could have been up there, standing there, my arms crossed, looking at things intently. But instead, here I was, all alone, like the outcast where I was.

You know, did anyone from the crew, did any one of the guests pick someone from the crew they'd like to fuck, marry or kill? Because everybody wants to kill me at all times. Is that what they said on the way out? Was it Chip? Here's your chip. Get rid of Emma. Might as well throw her overboard. The fuckless wonder Emma. Just throw her off the useless breasts that belong. Just get rid of Emma. Like, Jesus Christ, you were taking a nap.

Stop yelling at people. Yeah, you should be refreshed. So she is, after having taken a nice long nap, she now goes and sits down on like a little sofa area thing. And Gary is like tying his shoes to go do work. And she's like,

these laces are not, they're not good. The laces that you're trying to tie. And he's like, yes, they're, they're so shit. Okay, well, let's get sorted with doing work with our bad laces. Okay, we don't want to work today. Let's work. And he like goes off and she just sits there just staring off at like a wall. All right, well, I tried my best.

I wonder if other boats had nicer laces. Is it only my boat that is cursed with inferior laces? I can't take it. She's like, cronks down and goes back to bed on the desk.

So now Glenn's like, okay, right. Fourth charter, another in the can. Done. Dusted. Which this boat is about to be in about 10 minutes. I just love the standard we're reaching. But like that, let's just always keep pushing, guys. Gary, not you. Okay? Keep it in your pants. Decent docking. That was perfect. Okay. Daisy, you're great. Daisy, I just love your smile. Give me that smile. Both corners of your mouth, Daisy. Daisy. She's like.

I'm smiling, right? I'm smiling. All right. Well, she tried. All right. Everybody's great. Every one of you is perfecting, except you, Cloyce. God, what a fail. Huge, massive fail. In Canada, we'd call that, eh.

Yeah, I think you had a little bit of trouble with this charter. Mainly that you basically only served them some Kit Kats and old muffins for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So this time I want you to really focus on prepping a little bit better. And I want you to think outside of the box.

I know it's, we just want to have a very high standard. So in conclusion, no swimming with the guests and serve more than family style. He's like, yeah, okay, cool. Low is leveling up, leveling up. He's like, yeah, that's what I want to hear.

leveling up yeah so cloys is now patting himself on the back he's like well i don't really think of myself as being one of those ego-driven chefs but like we know one of those but daisy's and glenn's constructive criticism is kind of ruining my whole day and i just i prefer not to be in this situation it's like well then don't don't like spend 30 minutes surfing up like a scoop of ice cream to people celebrating their their wedding anniversary or their engagement whatever it was be better

be better. The thing is, I really like Cloyce and I think he's taking all of this pretty well, you know, for getting slammed because a lot of chefs would be just losing their shit by now. But he's like, okay, you know, maybe I can do better. But, you know, you see that budding ego for later seasons. I'd like to check in on him 10 years because I think he will be throwing dishes across the room at people. And I need that. Yeah, I need that. So,

So it's not weird. I'm like, he's doing so great. I'm so proud of him. God, I wish he was meaner. He really cannot win with me. So Glenn's like, okay. And I know you're anxious to hear the trip amount. The tip, sorry. The tip amount was 22,000 teeth.

Just lots of teeth. Some are yellow, some have holes in them, but, you know, they told us we could sell them on eBay, so good luck, everybody. And you all get a tiny little plastic bag with a cartoon tooth on it that has an Oral-B toothbrush and a very small, almost unusable amount of floss inside. Okay, enjoy! Oh, finally, a little oral on this boat, am I right, B?

So, um, now they're like, uh, they're all going to go out tonight, but it is a, it's a school night. They're not going to go crazy. And Gary's like, oh, so we're going to have a good night tonight, Deez. We're going to party. And she's like, oh yeah, you're excited. Yeah, I guess so. I don't think anyone's going to argue or fight. Well, there's always tension between us. Gara, why don't you help me clean these things? Why aren't you putting the dishes away, Gara? Why aren't you serving the guests? You never help me out, Gara. Um,

And he's like, this is what we have here. This is situation ship. She's like, oh, fuck off. See you later, Gary. I love when Daisy flirts. So then we go to charter number five. It's the preference sheet meeting. And Glenn's like, okay, this is hump charter.

You just hear Pamming against the wall. Not you, Danny. Not you. All right. So Sherry and Philip Jaffe and their older daughter is Eva and her best friend Carson and their youngest daughter Lana and Addie and a stylist named Brandon who looks sort of like Lisa Rinna. Okay. They're looking for a family vacation celebrating Atlanta's Sweet 16 on Parsifal.

Wow. You know, it's so great. You know, it's about time that kids realize the joy of being able to celebrate such a milestone age on a boat that's going to actively sink on them. That's wonderful. Finally, we found a way to keep kids off of their iPads and their telephones. Get them a charter for their birthday. So, of course, it's like classic. So I don't know what that meant. I guess he just meant like little rich kids getting a 316 on the boat. I guess so.

And Daisy's like, in Ireland, we don't have a sweet 16. Though birthdays are a big deal. For my 16th birthday, I went to an Italian restaurant and I got shit-faced with my friends for the first time. And I think my friend fucked somebody in the bathroom. Certainly wasn't a superyacht. Daisy? I totally see this all happening. Just going to some random Italian restaurant.

She's like a Peter Piper with a fucking cigarette hanging out of her mouth the whole time at 16. Red sauce on her cheek because she's so wasted. 100% spitting pizza dough all over you while she's smoking at the same time and getting shit pissed. Oh God, she's wasted.

man would you like any time oh fuck off all right so we've over served the 16 year old hey guys why does that 16 year old look like a 47 year old lady with boxed wine in a paper bag under a freeway why she's sticking her hands in the platter of meatballs it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

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So they're gonna be celebrating Alana's sweet 16 party with formal white glove service, which is what every teen Wants when they turn 16 white glove service talk about Disney, huh? Mickey Mouse used to get some plastic gloves and bring the stick out of her butt because like who wants that at 16 points white glove service cheese Oh, geez

And then afterwards, the parents are going to go out to Ibiza's top nightclub. So it's like, okay, honey, congratulations on this milestone birthday. You're sweet 16. See you later. Bye. You stay here alone on the yacht while we go party on the shore. I love these parents. They're rich as hell. They're like, let's go on a cruise. Oh, it's Alana's birthday. Oh, okay. Well, just bring the game. He'll babysit her. Let's go. Pretty much. They're like rich as hell, but also Minnesotans. So you have like that, like,

midwestern but also rich thing going on which is a great combination the mom's probably my favorite i love her and she's played by the gone girl lady who's that who's that actress um wait uh rosamund pike yeah she's just like rosamund pike rosamund pike doing a minnesota accent accent yeah yeah hon i'm so glad you get to do it you're having so much fun hon

So Emma's like, oh God, after the tip meeting, I feel like they all hate me. Don't they? Don't they just hate me? Could you do a poll? Go ask everybody who they hate more, Emma or these laces. I don't want to let your insecurities push you out like that. I don't want that to be a bad vibe at all. So,

In an effort to improve the dark cloud around me, I'm going to just walk out to that deck and slouch over and stare out at the sea and say, what? Oh, never mind. What? Never mind. So they're going to dinner and Kois is like, I'm going to spend my whole time writing out a dinner menu for Charter to show that I'm making an effort.

And he's like, you actually cannot 100% bring your homework out to dinner. He's like, I've got you, man. I'm going to prove myself. I'm going to prove myself. And we're going to put on a show and save this boat. I'm like, oh, geez, kid. Just don't serve family style. You know what I mean? That's it. It doesn't need to be this difficult. The notes are pretty simple, sir. Calm down. Okay.

Um, so, but by the way, they should be wanting him to do his homework because, uh, he's going to be the key to them getting a better tip. So I just would let the kid play, write whatever he wants to write down at the table. They're all really touchy about it. So now they're all going to dinner and everything. And there were some espresso martinis and things like that. And then Keith is like,

And Danny is flirting with Keith again. And she's like, what, you going to dab me up? He's like, what's that? I don't know if I'm cool enough to know what dabbing me up means. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So they have more of their lame flirtation. It's a handshake. She's like, you got to shake it. It's like that. Because, like, we have a thing, right? Me and you, we're vibing, right? Forgetting that she was just making out with someone else last night. Like...

Girl, you can't pass around. You can't pass yourself around like an hors d'oeuvre tray and then expect somebody to treat you like an entree. And that goes for you too, Gary. Although Gary's not really looking to be treated like an entree, I guess. Gary's more of a golden cross, sloppy kind of a guy. I think he's just aspiring to be one of those platters from Costco with the sandwich wraps with the cream cheese in the hand. Oh my God, that's what I want to be. Because everybody loves those. That's what I want to be. I want to be a sandwich wrap. Everybody gets a piece of...

But nobody necessarily comes back for more, which I like. Take a piece of me and then go away. Yeah. That made me feel sad. I know. You said it in such a cheery way, but then when I really listened to what you were saying, I got sadder. Me too. I was like, God, Ronnie, geez. Okay, so then...

he's like what's a dab i'm not cool enough and she's like it's how you make it cool there's got to be loose you know like the looser your chakra is the more the more like less you give a fuck oh god now she's bringing up chakras this is like so desperate i feel like this is what desperate people do it's like oh my god what's your sign you're so leo right now what's your third chakra up

to a I read chakras if you had the kamasutra I was like oh my god if this girl pulls out a drawing of like people in the scissor

the scissor go licky paper white position i'm going to be very upset he's like you've been in la for too long because whatever this is with danny it's starting to feel like work and not fun i'm like tell me about it we've been watching it for like six weeks at this point okay it's definitely not fun and it definitely is work and he's like learning that danny's gets gary like it's not banter like it was the beginning yeah i felt like our chemistry free banter is now chemistry free and laborious that's just not fun anymore

Yeah, it's pretty much the same. It wasn't fun before either. Okay. But also maybe now that Danny's more like work, you'll put some effort into it. You know what I mean? That's like all he's like really bad on this boat. And so he's over it now, you know, because people want to feel special shocker, huge shocker there. So then even if you're fake, fake it guys, just fake it. So chakra. So now Emma is, uh,

She's telling us, oh God, with Gary and Keith, you know, maybe I should just move forward and

Meditate. But I've just, God, I've been known to be a petty bitch on occasion. Here's one thing you don't need to do. Meditate. You're in walking meditation all the time. Work. That's what you need to do. Yeah, I would have to agree on that. I think that's not maybe the best plan forward. I would say pick up a chamois and wipe something down. I think that's going to be a little bit more effective. Yeah, shimmy that chamois. You got time to shimmy? You got time to chamois?

This is what he's waking up to. This is what he's waking up to. He's like, ah, I'm waking up to a more evolved place. Let me turn on the radio. You got time to shimmy. You got time to shimmy.

Although, I'm sure the shimmy-shammy was a good thing. Free my head! I want to go back! Take me to a different time! Oh my god, I would love a real housewife whose backstory was that they were cryogenically frozen and now they're back. That would be like a Leanne Locken. I was born in another... Just because I was born in another century doesn't mean I was born yesterday. ...

It was 100% helium. Yeah, that is the best. Well, they attached, unfortunately, they attached my body to a giraffe. So I do have hooks. I'm the first hooved housewife, but I am a fully functioning woman. Listen here, I'm a carny caveman. You play with me, you're going to pay. Unfortunately, they gave me two left arms. So if my hands look a little skewed, that's why.

Leanne, could you get in the shot? How am I supposed to get in the shot? My neck's in the trees. Get a bigger goddamn tree. Man, they go in the house. So I have vacation. She gets stopped by security. Like, ma'am, are you trying to smuggle in something metal? No, those are just the staples. I keep my neck attached to my body. Goes through this every time. I guess that makes me a terrorist. Thanks, Obama.

but she's from a different century. Thanks, James Madison. Sorry, he was the Obama of our years. I thought it was the St. Kitties in the future. Oh, oh. It's both in the future and the past. In the future, someone who was frozen in 1812 but had a mouth like Liam Larkin is untaught. All right. So, now,

So, yeah, so Keith just kind of rejected Danny, right? And now Emma's all depressed. So Davida is talking to Kois, and he's like, So, have you done it? Have you done it? Have you done what you are looking for? Tell me, what is your progress? He's like, yeah, it's much better. I'm doing a lot of good job. So, you know, listen, there's been two charges in a row that have sucked, and I'm gone. So I've got to make this one really good. So I'm thinking...

buy a cake, microwave it, but then this time toast it. And I think that's going to take it to the next level. And Keith is like, you'll crush it, bro. You'll crush it. Would you like to dab with me?

So then Daisy's like, I feel like Cloyce is really taking my feedback on board. Look at him using crayons there to come up with ideas. That's a big effort. But like, dude, put the fucking sheets away. All right. It's an Italian restaurant. We're ready to party. Mom, suck my dick and get me a wine. I love Daisy taking all the credit for Cloyce improving when it was just because the captain

reprimanded him in front of the entire crew like that's why he's doing it because when daisy tried to tell him something he was like no but then when he gets publicly shamed he changes and daisy's like look at the good work i do i'm such a good motivational speaker yeah public shaming wins the day every single time in life you guys publicly next time you're having an issue with somebody shame them publicly i've got we should make you know what we should do for a bonus episode

Make a list of people we want to publicly shame and then just go in. Yeah, sure. Doesn't that sound fun? Yeah. I'm looking at you neighbors sending around a sheet for everybody to sign because your daughter doesn't want to deal with a one-way street on her way to work that's literally saving lives. I'm going to get you. Is that a thing that's happening in your world? Yeah.

He climbed up the hill the other day and he's like, I'm your neighbor. I was like, oh, geez, you know, because, you know, I hate that. I'm like, close the gates. Just kidding. And he's he's like, well, you know, that new one way street. I hate it. And I was like, well, actually, it's so much safer because, you know, the streets are like they're like six inches wide up here. And I'm like, I think it's maybe safer. And he's like, no, my daughter hates it because she has to go around. I was like, well, we all have to go around. He's like, well, whatever. Yeah.

I said, well, you've been here longer, so I'll sign it. But then he left and I was like, hey, I was just pressured. You signed the petition. Well, I mean, look, it's not going to change anything. LA has enough issues that it has to deal with that the last thing that they are going to care about is reversing the decree to make a road one way. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you can't even get a bar built these days. Okay, let's go on. And that's really important. That's more important than public safety.

So after dinner, they go up to their back on the boat, and then Danny and Daisy... Danny and Keith are going to go up to the hot tub to hang out and everything. Cloyce decides he's going to make some squid ink ravioli. I don't know if that was... I guess that's probably for the guests. I thought it was for him, but I think it's for the guests. So he's making an effort. He's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to be real fucking fancy and whip out some squid ink ravioli. Try that, Captain Whatever Buttons. Listen, we know this is a one-charter program.

moment for him this reminds me of when i was a kid i was afraid my parents were going to send me to sleepaway camp because my parents kept on saying we're going to send you to sleepaway camp you need to go to sleepaway camp and i like was deathly afraid of going to sleepaway camp so anytime it came up i would like then go into the kitchen and i would like do all the dishes and i was like look this will show this was i'm going to change i'm going to do all my chores all the time i don't want to do that they just don't want me i just was afraid to go away and

And so I was like, maybe if I just show that I'm really responsible, they won't do this to me. And so I would just go and I would wash a bunch of dishes. And then the next day I'd be like, ugh.

I don't want to do dishes anymore. Like it would last for 24 hours of me being judicious. And guess what? I got sent to sleepaway camp. And guess what? Guess what? It was like one of the best experiences of my life. So you know what? Sometimes. Yeah. I mean, where else do you get laid? You know, I definitely did not get laid, but I did have my first kiss. Oh, that kiss was someone named Kate in the woods. It was very romantic. Mine was with Elizabeth. I always wondered what happened to her.

Oh, gosh. Probably married to some gay guy. So let's see here. So now I would. Oh, my God. I would marry her right now. So Keith and Danny are flirting while she's trying to flirt. And he's like, don't look at me like that. You just look like croissant dough. I can't help it.

And she's like, I was about to say the same thing. And he's like, you had your chance. She goes, what do you mean my chance? And he's like, you had your chance with me. Honestly, mate, I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you straight up. Now tell me, do you really want to love me forever?

If you hadn't hooked up with Gary, oh, oh, oh. And she's like, what do you mean? That was just a thing. It was just a thing, okay? I mean, what? What's the big deal? It was just a thing, and then he rejected you. Because it would still be a thing, and you would be blowing off Keith right now if Gary hadn't given you the old heave-ho.

All that may be true. All that may be true and is true. But now on the flip side, I think Keith saying you had your chance. Shut up, Keith. She was like, you were the one who was sitting there doing nothing for the longest time. So don't be like, oh, you had your chance and you blew it. She was literally trying to actively blow you. And you were like, no, too much. And now you're going to sit here with your hamster nipples exposed to the stars complaining about how she had her chance and she blew it.

No, he was flirting back with her, but she was also hitting on that young guy at the club. And so he was just like, what's her deal? Does she really like me or does she just want to bang everybody that she sees? So he was just being cautious with his heart. And that's fine, but just don't say you had your chance.

Well, she did have her chance. Someone told me that one time. They were like, well, you had your chance. And I just thought to myself, I know, but you're like that last donut in the shop that's complaining that nobody ate you. Like, am I supposed to apologize for you? You were a donut that didn't look good. Are you really trying to guilt trip me? Yeah, maybe next time wrap yourself in cream cheese and ham and get yourself to Costco. No, I just, you know what? It's...

I just... I don't like... I don't like that he is doing the you had your chance thing. Because it's not like he was actively pursuing her and was like, do you want to go on a date with me? Let's hook up or whatever. And then she was like, no thanks. It was like she was... She was trying. I mean...

I'm not taking it away from the fact that she also was flirting with the guy at the club and then also Gary and all that. But I'm just saying, like, he's acting like he played an active role in trying to woo her. And I'm sorry, he did not. So, like, you can be like, okay, you know what? Now that she's hooked up with Gary, I'm not interested in her. That's fine. But don't tell her you had your chance when you were the one who told her, like, please slow down on hitting on me because I don't like it when the girl is the aggressor.

Well, he was saying to stop hitting on me so hard when it's not just me that you like. You don't even really like it because it seems fake with her. You know, he was just trying to protect his heart. And he's a little Keith. He's not used to people coming on to that hard. You know, he's Keith.

He's cream cheese without the wrap and the ham. Yeah, he's the donut in the shop. Just like, someone will take me. Surely, I'm a donut. One day, someone's going to want kind of a dry donut with no toppings on it. Someday, somebody's going to come along and make me want to ice and swallow me.

Till then, baby, I'm going to sit on this quarter sheet pan in the display. Don't you know? I've got frosting. I've got sugar. I've got a sweet feeling. Just hold on for one more day. But you can't hold on for one more day when you're a donut. Because I'm still. Yeah. Donuts are just thrown out. We should ask Carney Wilson about it because she knows Jeff Lewis. So we should ask her.

Okay, so let's go on with this recap somehow. Okay, so she's mad because he basically dumps her. He's like, okay, well, I know you hooked up with Gary, and I don't want to get involved in any sort of triangular sort of relationship, right? So I'm going to bed. Really, then why did you suggest coming to the hot tub? And, you know, he lifted her all the way up just so he could dunk her in the hot tub, but she deserved it.

Well, her deserving it is separate from him, like, lip-bringing her all the way to the hot tub. You're trying to make me have sympathy for the donut right now, but it turns out that the donut was about to be given to someone, and the donut was like, no, thank you, I'd like to stay in the case, please. And then the donut's like, oh, well, I guess no one wants me. It's like, you know what, donut?

Well, yeah, but that girl's got a grocery bag full of Krollers, Eclairs, and muffins. You know what I mean? And she's like, oh, God, yeah. And he's just like, well, thanks a lot. Just me. So, you know, I just think we'll just have to agree to disagree because what are you going to do? I believe in men with hearts, you know? I believe that, like, you know...

If you're interested in someone and you hook up with someone else, you do fundamentally fuck it up. Like that is for sure. I'm not taking that away. I'm just saying I don't like his attitude. And I also – but I do appreciate that we just sang a Wilson Phillips song in the voice of a British donut. And that really made me happy for today. Yeah. At least we kept it on theme because it was about holes.

That's okay. So, um, Danny's like, Oh, I fucking hate rejection. I wouldn't kiss Gary. If I didn't, if I didn't take you this long to kiss me, I mean, whatever my approach is just to move on to the next. Like it never happened. We know girl. And that's not going to work for you ever. It's never going to work for you. Never.

And then she basically goes and texts the child from the Abiza Zoom Club. I was so embarrassed. Okay, this is where I turned. Because for this long, I've just had zero respect for Dani and thought she was kind of an asshole with how she treats other people's feelings. And just figured she was kind of a female Gary. But this is where I felt bad. I was like, oh, this is like an illness at this point. She's just like that desperate for attention. That's sad. Like, girl, you're on TV. This is just embarrassing.

I'm sorry that high school was hard, but I'm sorry for your daddy issues. So now we wake up the next morning, people be mean to you before you were like a thin cheerleader, but you know what? This doesn't, this isn't going to help, but I don't know. Do something else. Find a hobby. Learn to play the piano or knit or, you know? Yeah. Well, that's, that's extreme. No, listen, I think therapy is good for everyone. I say this as someone who just got a text from his therapist.

Oh, that's so cute. Isn't that so cute? Dr. Crane. My therapist is literally Dr. Crane. Isn't that hilarious? No way. Yeah. That's crazy. I actually am not in therapy. I just watch reruns. I just watch reruns. I watch reruns and just like project my issues onto it. Yeah.

Okay, well, no one really needs a 19-hour below-deck recap, but sometimes that's just what you're going to get. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Come one, come all.

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Okay, so now Emma is waking up and everyone's trashed, you know, from the night before. And Emma's like, I feel like a Barbie that total haircut off, limbs ripped out by some troubled child. My wife's saying I won't be shamying today because I'm missing my limbs. Jesus, man.

She woke up weird. It's so funny. So Keith is now telling Gary that he was up on the bow with Danny and he goes, oh, did you wake up? And he's like, nah. He's like, well, honestly, I do not want to if that's what's holding you back because she kissed me and I thought it was absolutely nothing. She kissed you. You were flirting with her all night and you're like, let's go jump into the romantic or slick water. And you guys both jumped in. Like, don't say, don't put it all on her, please. Yeah.

Yeah, that's scary for you. Exactly. So then the crew is in the crew mess and Daisy is like, so what did I miss last night? Was it anything good? Could I motivate some other people to do things? How about this?

Who here wants to learn how to make a lasagna? I can do that. I don't know why I said that. And Daisy's, and they're like, no, don't miss anything. You know, it was great. And then Danny's, so he keeps mopes off. And Danny's like, so he sat on the bear with me and he was like, oh, I'm not getting involved in a love triangle. And I was like, there is no love triangle to get involved in raw stupid things.

boy. Am I right, everyone? High fives? Right? Everyone goes, now. And she's like, well, I wanted to, like, I wanted to, period. Now I'm like, well, I've got the ick, you know, because he's so insecure and weird. He's insecure and weird? Oh my God, how many fucking phone calls did you make the second you felt rejection?

You know that girl went through her Rolodex and called every person she's ever known or that ever looked sideways. She probably has the customer service number to target. I had a very cute clerk in there the other day. I'm sure he wanted me. Danny, could you just pass it around? Just pass it around, please.

So Daisy does not yes and her. Daisy's like, Danny, I think that's really mean. That's not a nice thing to say, that someone might be insecure. And she's like, yeah, but he's getting upset at the fact that I kissed somebody. She's like, yeah, but you didn't just kiss anyone. You kissed his roommate, not his boss. Danny, you're going from one to the other. I don't think him feeling insecure is actually that weird in this situation. And Danny's like, uh, it was not

prepared for that brutal honesty right now yeah so now watch danny's gonna become a total jerk because someone like told her the truth about her danny starts now stanley starts talking about daisy for the rest of the episode yeah so and the spiral begins so keith and emma are talking and he's like well i think there's some awkward tension from last night she's like oh my god i think it's my cologne it's like no no personal interpersonally no seriously i wear a cologne called

awkward tension people hate me seriously they really do so it's not about you emma so it's just like you know it was just like this with her and i just walked off and go that what do you guys think about doing a tinder practice i think we could all use it here all right who would just sit on daddy gary's lap thought we were gonna ride the boat all right well we can do that kind of tender if you want to lazy jones so they get they go and get the tenders that are

So that way Emma can learn how to drive it. Because when he's like, who wants to have some tender practice? It's for Emma. Right. So while they're doing that, Diana and Danny are at the bar cleaning. And Diana's like, well, I understand why Daisy was saying that. I'm really on her side. And Danny is like, yeah, I get it. But he's like a fucking asshole to me. And then I have to be the bigger person every single time?

He's never been an asshole to you and you've never been the bigger person. You've been the person who feels insecure and then purposely tries to hurt his feelings because you don't know how to deal with life. So Diana's like, well, I don't think that's great for her to hear that either. And Danny's like, well, when you date him, you date him, then go. Oh, son, how you're dating. I love that you've elevated yourself to that level. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. And Danny's basically like, yeah, I don't need your commentary, Daisy. Okay? You know, like, she isn't even aware of half the conversations we've had. She only sees like a little bit. So then over on the tender, Gary is teaching, teaching Emma how to drive. And he's like, well, it's just like a car. And you know which way you turn, it's going to turn. And if you overdo it, you're going to turn too much. So you're going to turn counter. So you're pushing water lift and right. So when you turn to the left, it goes left. Turn to the right, it goes right. Just like a car.

Have I told you that I've totaled seven cars? All right. All right, let me explain this in a way that might be easy for you to understand. It's basically like Emma. It's the opposite of Emma. Where you turn, when Emma turns towards you, what do people do? They turn away. That's the opposite of the tender. Do we get it now? I'm just like, oh, God. I'm just basically driving me. So it's basically sailing failure. Failure with the steering wheel is what you're telling me.

No, I'm trying to motivate you. So how about this? If you need to make a left, just pretend there's a coffee to the left and to the right. Pretend it's your bed so you can nap in. Okay, coffee. There you go. Bed. There you go. Bed. Ah, full circle now. So he's like, oh, if you panic, he just goes through the whole thing. And she's just like, yeah, fine. Great.

So then she's telling us, I normally perform well under pressure. I don't think I'm performing well under pressure in this instance exactly because having all eyes on me is throwing me for a bit of a loop. I mean, it was especially rough when my sister was helicoptered in, jumped into the tender and reverse parked it right in between two giant yachts that were very, very close to each other. I mean, it was miraculous, really. God damn it. Yeah.

I don't think that Gary appreciated when I actively made myself a little bed in the tent and went to sleep during the lesson. So it's very difficult, very difficult to get by with people.

So then Gary goes to Glenn and he's like, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, how? How'd you teach initiative? And Glenn's like, what? She still doesn't know how to drive a tender and we almost had to crash in the dark area and then she took a nap and then somehow actually found a cup of coffee she could drink while on the tender. There's just a lot of

waiting and looking around and talking about shoelaces and she's having a smoke and then it's tea and then it's smoke and then it's on her phone. Oh, so it sounds like she doesn't have any urgency. That's right. She has no sense of urgency. So here's what I would suggest for lack of urgency. We're just going to give her chance after chance and not really do anything or make any moves and just hope it gets better. Do you understand? All right.

She needs it. You're talking about lack of urgency. Get her ass off the boat. Like how many times, and I like him. I don't want to see him a fired, but you know, at this point, like you can't hang out. You can't stand up for Emma at this point. Right. No, no. Yeah. Yeah.

So Gary's like, Emma is an excuse maker when it comes to work and there's always a reason behind it not being done. I want to give her the opportunity to prove that she wants to learn. Otherwise, I'd be quite happy to find someone else. And by giving her the opportunity to prove that she wants to learn, I'm just going to look at her, shake my head and walk away. I think she'll get it.

So now the guests, the new guests arise, like cute little family and very rich family. Very, very rich family. And Glenn's like, wait a minute, Danny, did we just give minors champagne? And she's like, no, only two didn't take them. And he's like, good, because our policy is minors don't drink on board. Got it? And so downstairs, Danny's like, I mean, seven glasses of champagne already sit out. Look, I'm doing my job. I'm not in charge.

By the way, what are the rules? If you're on a yacht in a country or international waters where the drinking age is lower, I don't know what the drinking age is in Ibiza, but I feel like it's got to be about seven years old, right? So shouldn't it be legal to do it there?

I would think so because all the talk of like she's there in Ibiza for her 16th. I thought maybe it was legal to drink there, right? Or Ibiza. Ibiza. Oh, you know what? The legal age to drink alcohol in Ibiza is 18 years old. So there you go. Sorry, Alana or whatever. Also, you ain't drinking shit. But also, if you're a waiter, if you're a server, it is your job to not serve underage people like.

It doesn't matter if you're the boss. It's literally your job. You can be sued. Yeah. You can't drink alcohol in public areas where children might be, such as beaches, parks, and streets. There might be children in those streets. Stop drinking. And then also – Why would anybody have children in a place where you can't drink around them? That's just nuts. My mom would have been like, no.

not doing it take him the only exception to the alcohol ban in public areas is on the terraces of bars and restaurants and other legally authorized areas well other legally authorized areas that could be anywhere come on abiza get it together let's be there they have to have light rules you know okay so danny's on an alcohol ban in abiza by the way that happened in may of this year wow fascinating

Well, thank God for Coke then. So Danny is like, yeah, I'm not the boss. And Diane is like, well, Daisy doesn't give a fuck.

Wow. You're, you're both turning right at the same time. And so then Sherry, the mom's like, I want to go sail. I want to go tip. I'm going to go sideways. I want to do that whole thing where people are sliding across. God, I love watching poor people slide and fall. Oh, I hope the door opens and glass flies at someone's face. Make it happen. Captain Glenn. I'm your biggest fan. Oh,

Okay, I can do that. So meanwhile, Daisy's like, by the way, Cloyce, do you want to walk through your manual? She's like, okay, so it's first going to be a gelatinized tomato tartare, and then it's going to be a tuna tartare, and then the third thing is going to be a squid ink pasta over tartare sauce, and fourth course is going to be a vanilla cake made of teeth tartar. Okay, well, that's a bit of a theme there, but...

Who's left over from the tip? Oh, great. Please don't say gelatinized. That is disgusting. Is that really something that people... I've never heard that term in restaurants. I mean, I've heard it, but I haven't heard it used to sell food like it's supposed to sell. Gelatinized does not...

That's not good. Or at least find the French word for it. Like au gelé. Say that. You know? Exactly. Because as long as it sounds French or Italian, it's going to sound exquisite. But gelatinized, that's not going to do it. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah.

So he tells us the story about how his 16th birthday, I was a guest chef for a culinary festival in Mexico and I cooked for 450 people that day. So then they brought me up on stage and they had me do a model walk down the runway. And then I posed with like 30 supermodels. And then they were like, to you, the most reliable chef on the West Coast.

And by reliable, we mean reliably unfuckable for us because we're all supermodels. So he's like, yeah, I just want to make Alana's 16th birthday just as special as his birthday being in proximity to a gorgeous woman. So I'm working. Yeah, I just want to make it so special for Alana. I can tell you one thing my girl's not doing ever, working. Okay.

So then Glenn Radios is time to start sailing. Be sure all the doors are closed. LOL. And so then, dun, dun, dun.

All right, Emma. Emma, it's time for you to learn about the mizzen for the 10th time this season. All right, so we're going to do the mizzen first while we're hoisting. All right, so the mizzen. And when the donkey bit is going in, that's when I can go in and have some tea, right? No, no, no tea. A ciggy. I'll have a ciggy then. No, a nap. I'll take a nap during the mizzen part, right? No, no, you have to watch and be... I don't know, Gary. I'm not really listening. I'm going to go get a tea after all. Bye. Bye.

It's just really difficult having to do something with the donkey when that's what everyone on this boat makes me feel like. You know what I mean? Really got to chamomile this up right now because I'm about to lose it. Chamomile it up. I just woke up feeling so Earl Grey, but I've moved into a chamomile place and I'm so happy.

So Garrett is like, no, okay, well, you don't want to see her with the boat. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, whatever. So, um,

Then the, now we start sailing and the boat is more sideways than ever before because that lady is like, oh, let's go super sideways. Let's go more sideways than any Viking ship in old Scandinavia. So everything is falling out. Things were crashing. It's all the usual thing. And Dave's like, Glenn, Glenn, can we please bow, Glenn? Hold the Peters upon out of the basket. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like mayhem and everybody's holding on to everything like normal, you know, and then the gay and Alana, I think it's Alana. Oh, no, Sherry, the mom. They come in to talk about the 16th birthday party decor and the gay was just cracking me up. He's like, we want black gloves.

That's what we want. He is so five times 500. I really liked him. He was making me laugh. By the way, tell me you're from Minnesota without telling me you're from Minnesota. She has like a bag full of decor for dinner tonight. She's like, I just brought some fun things from Target. You know, it's our local company in Minneapolis. Just some cute things, some ideas and some decor inspo, just fun stuff.

I'm like, my friend Nikki is from Minnesota, who you've met. Like, this is some shit she would do. She would totally go onto a super yacht with an extra bag of luggage with decor and, like, sweatshirts and just, like, fun things. I just thought this would be cute. Just put it up somewhere. I don't know. I like it. It was pretty funny. And then Brandon's like, oh, my God, that tail. The sails are up. They're trying to kill us. So...

um they got the party settled right and then glenn notices that emma's having a lot of trouble and he's like oh when you're putting that much effort into training somebody you've got to see results and if she doesn't get it quickly in about 24 more charters she's out of here yeah because after gary sat with emma and was taught her everything about the mizzen in that scene or not everything but like walked her through it when it's time to take the mizzen down glenn's like hey can you do the mizzen emma and she goes

Yeah, can someone just talk me through it? I've actually never even heard of it. What is a mizzen? I don't think I've ever... Have you always had the sale? Did you just add the sale while I was downstairs getting coffee? This is a new sale, right?

- Yeah, poor Emma. - Literally, she's gonna be poor forever 'cause she can't get anything. - There's always real estate. - So then Kois, say it again. - There's always real estate. Show a picture of her holding up her glamorous martini. - Well, I can't wait to get back to that real estate ball. So now they're going over dinner service. Kois is going over dinner service, announcing first course, and he's like, "Okay, well, I have plates, "and you're gonna need a fork, okay?"

So the second course is also on plates. Do we have that? Do we understand that? Like, I'm so proud of you. Look at you go, voice. So then there's like this moment where the guests are like swimming and they come out onto the swim platform.

and this one guy is like showering off or whatever but he's like looking for a towel and so gary gary is doing something and so he runs over and he gets the towel for the guys like here you go here's a towel for you and the guy's like thank you and then gary like shuts off the shower and then gary does something else the guy like walks away and emma we just see emma's just standing there the whole time just staring while her arms crossed like that

Well, you just hand him a towel. Why would you do such a thing? That's insane. Just watching Gary do all this stuff for this guest. And Emma was already there. Like Gary was doing something else and came over to do this. I was just watching.

So he comes over to her and he's like, so you're happy to be here, right? She's like, I mean, I suppose, you know, Bump's happy to be on logs. Does anyone ask them? Would they be able to answer if you did ask them? Would anybody be able to hear them when they'd never use their ears to even listen to logs in the first place? Do you understand? Well, I've never felt sorry for wood before, but

Are you sure you want to be here? Because I just have to be honest with you. And that's rare from me. I see a lot of lack of urgency around everywhere and a lot of waiting around and watching us work. She's like, oh, like when? Could you name a moment? And he's like, well, the other day he's doing all of this and you're standing there watching him. And now I'm going there putting a shell on, helping them out here and giving out towels and you're standing there. And she goes, oh.

Oh, well, I thought they could see the towels. I didn't realize. I was just going to stare until they picked up the towel for themselves. Are they blind? I mean, should I have given them sticks to feel around for towels? Because they have eyes, and the eyes were right on the towels, so...

I thought by them seeing me staring at the towels, they would then continue their gaze towards the towels as well and then pick it up for themselves. That's how it works, right? All right. Well, I just feel that if I ask you to do things, you're like, no, I can't do that. But then you go for a coffee and then you go for a cigarette and there's another coffee and then it's back inside. Yeah.

Well, I don't drink coffee, so that's impossible. I know, that was her big counter. Well, unfortunately, these false accusations are based off of the theory that I drink coffee, but the truth is I don't. I drink tea. Oh, okay. Well, tea or whatever just seems like to me that there's no sense of urgency, and I don't know if you...

want to carry on working on yachts after this, but I mean, it seems like you really don't want to be here. Well, apparently, is it that I don't want to be here or does anyone not want me? Because last time I checked, everyone wanted to kill me and not fuck me. So, I mean, who's to blame here? I mean, it's exactly right. I mean, are you sure that you're even talking about me or is this some coffee-swilling other unfuckable that we're discussing here? Is there some Folger's light trollop who's roaming the decks of this boat that you're discussing? Because that's certainly not me who you're describing.

I mean, listen, and he's like, well, I didn't know if you want to carry on working on your depth of this, but it seems like you don't want to. And she's like, well, I mean, I think it's really unfair that you're putting this all on me. I mean, you've had no feedback at all. And then all of this comes out of nowhere.

You know, I mean, this is just, it dates back now. I mean, it's just shitty. I mean, got coffee. When was this? Prehistoric times. Emma, so you riding a dinosaur? Did you? Did you? Well, I haven't done that for years. So are you even talking about the same? You know, I've changed on the inside since then. All right.

I just want you to prove from where we are now, which is you're terrible. She goes, well, yeah, it's really fucking hard to improve when all you see is a snapshot of all the hard work I do staring at guests waiting for them to pick up things for themselves.

Well, it's just what I've noticed. And we're a team and it feels like you need to do more. So I'm just trying to tell you so you can improve on urgency. She's like, well noted. I'm going to sit here and think about this meditatively. All right. All right. Well, you know what? I am going to get a coffee. I think my takeaway here is that I don't have to just have tea.

i can expand into coffee thank you gary thank you for offering that's what it is i'm going to do this urgently i'm urgently going to have a coffee right now

So then Glenn's like, whoa, how'd that go? She didn't fall asleep in the middle of the sentence, so that's good. And he's like, well, I tried to speak to her in the nicest way possible without using my penis, which was very difficult, actually. It's the most words I've ever used with a woman. Well, let's let her simmer down a bit and then see what happens in the next couple of days. I'm like, Emma, simmer down. Has she even reached, like, has a bubble even come to the surface? No one even turned on the stove, girl. The stove is not on. What?

Simmer down. She's down. Well, Daisy, guess what? Gary's just come up to me, accused me of being someone who drinks coffee like an American. And he asked me if I want to even be here. And then he said he and Keith are carrying too much of my weight. So I guess I'm fat now. And I feel like it could have been easily avoided as well if they'd just come to me sooner. She's like, well, I think that Gary really struggles with confrontation. Well, it just seems to me...

to be the butt, seem to be the butt of most of the confrontations. So that's quite ironic. I literally can't trust them as far as I can throw them. I think I need a nap. Can you please pass me a cup of coffee? Well, I feel for Emma and I can understand her insecurities, but I'm fast with Gary because it's Gary. I love him. But yeah, it's like we're on a super yacht. So he'll do your work. So then Diana is like,

uh so we see interior setting up for this party and daisy's like trying to move quickly but danny's just fucking around you know would you like to take me balloon oh really did i miss my chance with you fuck off balloon that's what i say hey hey ladies yeah danny is literally just like joking around with gary and glenn in like the cockpit area and daisy is

And she pops in and she's like, darling, please, I really need your help right now. And Danny is like playing with something like slinky or goo or whatever. She's like, isn't this really cool, Gary? So Diana's like, I completely understand Daisy's side and why she's mad. Priority is work. You have your work as priority. Service, decorations, cocktails, whatever needs to be done. Russian oligarchs wait for no one and I wait for no one too. So it needs to be ready. All right.

So then it is time for dinner. And Gary's like, what's this? And Kloys is like, it's a puffed rice cracker. They're going to eat tuna with it. And he's like, oh, baby Kloys, yes. So now upstairs is my favorite of the mom. She's like,

All right, everybody. I want to give a toast to a man of grace. Okay. Today, I'm going to give you some words of wisdom. Okay. Now I've learned in life that it's very important to take the high road and enjoy life as it comes. Drop the mic. Drop the mic. Yeah.

I learned that. I learned that on television. And she throws this microphone down on the table. The table has a centerpiece that has one of those Homer Simpson pink donuts with the sprinkles bitten out of it. I'm like, you do remember that you're doing white. We really want white glove service, so it really accentuates the Homer Simpson donut we place in the middle of the table. You know what? Waste not, want not, two birds in a hand. Drop the mic. Drop it.

And Brandon's like, that was good. So good. So funny. And so Alana's like, thanks for the words of wisdom, but that's not really a drop the mic moment. And mom's like, I just need some tequila is what I need. Just get me some tequila. Okay. Drop the mic. Drop the mic. Okay.

um so then um kois is like so have you seen this situation before captain look what i'm doing over here i've got broth of purple cabbage and then when it's introduced with acid it turns this sick fuchsia color rad right i'm gonna do it on the table tonight he's like wow i'm so pleased he's really pulling out the stops he just made purple turn less purple oh

All right, guests, you're in for a treat. For your sweet 16, you're going to see some cabbage-induced magic. Enjoy. I believe in cabbage. So now the adults are going to go off to Ibiza. Ibiza.

to go clubbing and everything like that. And meanwhile, everyone loves, I'm sorry, they're going to do that after dinner. They're still eating dinner and everyone's loving it. It looks very nice. And Daisy's like, I knew Cloyce had it in him. This is what he was supposed to be doing. And this is fantastic. Now all I need to do is keep it up for the rest of the season. What I'm trying to say is, good work, Daisy. If you'd like to book me for a motivational tour, you can reach my agent at 555-DAISY. Nice.

My motto is, get your head out your ass, you stupid arsehole. Move over, Brene Brown. Daisy's in town. Hey, that rhymes. I'm already inspired. So David is like, oh, good chef. Good success. What do you think, chef? I want to present you with a gift for making dinner so special tonight. It's my bathhouse. It is my bathhouse.

Can we please stop getting shots of Davide's butthole in every episode? It's a lot of that. It's a lot of butthole from Davide. Big, big, gaping butthole going up to the top bun. Put it back. I feel like you're just asking, I don't know what, just put it away. I feel like I'm being sucked into a vortex. It just feels like I'm being groomed. I don't know what it is, but put it away, sir. I named my left butt cheek Sicily and my right butt cheek Italy. So...

Henny crack is what the first drink that is. So then... It wouldn't be the first time I've had a straight in my crack. So now the guests are going off. And so they go off. Teenagers are in the jacuzzi having a nice time. They are inhaling a lot of helium.

And then now it's like two in the morning. Keith goes off to pick up the guests from the club on the tender. And in the meantime, Gary wakes up because Gary has to go to the swim platform to meet the guests when they come on. And when Gary goes up to the deck, he's like talking to Danny. But then all of a sudden he sees something and he gets very startled and he starts running away. And I was like, did a lady just come on board? A lady must have. Someone lady came on board, right?

new boobs uh but no the boat is about to crash into another boat and i don't know whose fault it is i'm blaming the smaller boat because yeah be careful you're a small boat you're a small boat and like but also like what's happening here like why are the boats are none of the yachts not moving they're drifting into each other well i can't tell which one is drifting if it's their boat or if it's the little boat that's drifting but they're about to hit it

And so he's like, wake up, wake up, and so she does, and dun, dun, dun, dun, and then she wakes up Emma, and she's like, Emma, wake up, there's a boat in front of us. And Emma's just like, oh, God, just did a horn blare on fuckable. Just let it pass already. I mean, God, if it did crash into us, it would be the first thing that's tried to crash into me this entire summer, so...

Bring it on. People are always saying, oh, we were like ships in the night. Well, how about this? Let the ships crash into each other. That way they don't have to say that anymore. That way they can say, we were ships in the night who crashed into each other and we had a great time. It's okay. Listen, don't wake me up because there's a ship in front of me. Wake me up because there's a cup of coffee in front of me. That's what I want. Okay, I'm going back to bed.

She's addicted now to coffee. She always wants coffee right before now. She's like, I'm going to not give me some coffee. She doesn't understand. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us today. What a fun time.

Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you so much. And we will be back with lots coming up. Beverly Hills starts this week, Salt Lake City, New York is still on for whatever reason. And we'll be back to talk about all that fun stuff later in the week. In the meantime, go check out all of our other fun episodes and bonus episodes and all that stuff at Patreon. And we will talk to you next time. Bye, everybody. Bye.

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