#2618 RHONY S15E07: Get Out of Dodge
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What happens when there's so much that happens?

Hello and welcome to Watch More Crap In, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, it's Ronnie Karam, the wonderful and lovely and hilarious Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Oh, Ben. Great. Thank you. How's it going over there with you? It's great.

It's going so well. You know what I'm really enjoying? As I'm looking right now on the screen, I'm wearing a black shirt, which is apparently reacting to my camera because I've got a green screen. And you know what? It's making my shirt look like it's full of sequins because it's jazzy and sparkling. I did think you were in shiny sequins at first. And I was like, okay, you know, sewing class might be going a little too far, but I'm going to support this.

I have discovered what my vision is, my artistic vision is with sewing, and I just want to wear tops that Liza Minnelli would wear. It's like a Liza workout, just a casual Liza, you know, just sitting around the house. Yeah.

Yeah.

That jacket is killer, man. That is such a cool jacket. And I was like, thank you. And I go, I actually made it. And he's like, that's really cool. So I'm like, you know what? I'm floating on cloud nine today. I love it. Very good. Yeah. Yeah. Thank Lord knows I need it. Because we're about to talk about Real Housewives of New York.

Which actually, oddly enough, I enjoyed this. I watched this with my parents who were visiting, which is funny. Of all the shows to watch with my parents, it's Real Housewives of New York and especially this episode. And my dad fell asleep.

And my mom, I don't know. I think they may have both fallen asleep through the episode. But you know. Well, you know, that's how this show's rolling this year. So, oh, by the way, there is still construction. I don't know what they're doing downstairs. I think they've opened a dentistry because there is some drilling. Everything's put up in there. I don't know what they're drilling in, but something serious is drilling. I'll hear the occasional, and so I don't know. I'm thinking they're selling fucking dentistry down there.

They might be. So yeah, by the way, of course, as usual, check us out on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Watch Where Crap Ends. That's where you can watch us. That's where you can see my shirt sparkling away. And that's where you can see Ronnie's lovely face and the cool chair in the background there.

And, you know, weekly bonus episodes, all that really fun, good stuff that we just, you know, but anyway, let's get into fun times. Okay, so let's get into this. This episode is called Dodging Rumors. And it's episode seven of season two. And, um,

They're out of shit. Let's just say whatever they thought they had is now gone. There is nothing in the arsenal. And I still enjoy it. Like, I love their clothes. I have to say, especially Brynn, she was so infuriating this episode. And I've tried to stand up for Brynn a little bit this season, you know, in my horrible way. I'm sure she wouldn't feel that way. But she dresses so well. She really does. I love the outfit she wears to lunch when she just starts lying about people and trying to ruin people's lives for no reason. Yeah.

She looks great when she does it. But God, what an idiot. Why don't you show up and lie? What is the point in compulsive lying? That's never been what this show is about. It's not just about lying to make people mad. She's acting like... I'm sure if you asked her, she'd be like, well, I'm just making a TV show. That's what we do on TV. No, it's not. It's not about lying and trying to fuck people like that. It's...

If you have a real argument, you big fucking faker, you're a compulsive liar. It's gross. We want people to, we want people when they come onto these shows, we want them to engage with people and to, and to be transparent about their lives, et cetera. You know, when, whenever people say, well, you got to make a TV show. It's like we, when we, when I, when I hear people say that, or when I say, you know, like, listen, you got a job to do. It's like, we want you to show up.

and interact honestly as you know it's not like i don't want you to show up and then just create shit just for the sake of creating shit to hopefully make something stick and even if you do do that you have to do that with some finesse because there are some people who do that but they get away with it because they do it well but when you're just clunky and when no one else cares enough to take the bait that you're dropping it's a problem it's a big problem this show is like

It's not real bait. It's like trying to fish with gummy worms. It's a lie. And the fish can sense that it's a lie. I mean, if you don't have anything better to do than just show up and lie, then get out. Like, no one's forcing you to be here. Like, this is ridiculous. Today, it's ridiculous. Today was just officially like, oh, I'm just going to blatantly lie on

on camera and just laugh about it. Like, I don't get it. - The other thing is, so Ron and I were talking about how we both, before we watched this episode, we had already found out that what, we don't know for sure, but based on the end of this episode, mild spoiler here, if you haven't watched, but it looks like maybe everything in this episode was just a joke, like a prank that maybe Aaron and Rebecca were, had planted, you know?

And so we actually came to this episode knowing, like, oh, that looks like that's where this is going, that this entire episode is about something that's not real. And it was fascinating to me the way, with that knowing that, watching Brynn latch on to this rumor and then gleefully spread it to everyone that she could. And I was like, man, you're shitty. Yeah.

You're a shitty person. Well, but then also just watching every single one of them. This is the best thing that's ever happened to this show. You know what I mean? This is the best plot-wise. This is the best scandal. This is the only thing that's happened on the show. There was a Pavlova. There was a Pavlova. This is the only real scandal that's happened on this show. And to watch each one of them fumble the bag.

and not be entertaining one after the other. I was like, is this an un-audition? Are you just all taking a turn to ask to be fired at this point? Because this is the best shit that's happened on Housewives, and every single one of you is terrible at this. Like, no one can handle this. That's it. You're canceled. Cut. Cut the cold.

Psy has never been more excited. I mean, she pretty much told like every passing taxi at Chelsea Piers about this. She was like, oh my God, did you hear about the news? Did you hear about the news? Oh my God, Rebecca Minkoff has had a baby with an alien. It's true. Go, go tell everyone. Tell everyone down at the cab depot. Yeah.

All right. So let's start at the beginning of the episode. Jaisal's walking down the street in her head-to-toe leather. And, you know, there's pigeons everywhere because that's the theme of the season. Everyone's a pigeon, right? Especially for this episode. Look at what these pigeons do as What's-Her-Buns tells us later. Pigeons. Pigeons control the world. Right. So Jaisal's like, ah!

fucking Times Square, fuck this shit. Yeah, there's no reason to be in Times Square. Yeah, I don't know why she was there.

Unless you're going to see a Broadway show, get the fuck out of there. Why are you there? I really empathize. Actually, I was upset we didn't get further context because I would have loved to have seen Jessel navigating around like going to the Red Lobster that's over there. Like, hello, I have to come here to Red Lobster to meet Povet who apparently likes some sort of Cheddar Bay biscuit that you have. I don't know, sounds stupid and American. So then Jenna is with Popeye, her dog, and man,

Popeye really is a Popeye. You know, some dogs just aren't named very well. They'll be like blueberry and they're just like this ugly pudgy, you know, stupid dog or bear. Yeah. And it's like a little scrawny Chihuahua. Like you're not a bear. Popeye is a Popeye. She's like, Popeye, are you okay? And it's like, ah, very Popeye. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is funny because Jenna's a little bit like olive oil if you really think about it. She is Shelley Duvall-ish. Shelley Duvall-ish from that movie. R.I.P. R.I.P. So who is the big tentacle-y octopus squid thing? Is that just like... Psy. I need a snack!

I'm hungry. So, so anyway, yeah, she's walking the dog and then we have Aaron and she arrives at a cafe. Hi, I'm having lunch with a friend, but I would love to sit outside. It's so nice out. Waitress is probably like, I don't fucking care. Aaron is pregnant, by the way. That's the news that came out on an episode. That's all about pregnancy rumors.

or two days ago, Aaron, it's revealed she has pregnant with her fourth child. So Mazel Tov to Aaron, which is actually, congrats. And it's actually crazy because it's the first baby that's ever stolen Bitcoin from somebody before they came out of the womb. It was a really, really well done. I mean, that baby knew the C phrase. The baby's named Doge, which is nice. Um,

Actually, I honestly, believe it or not, my cold stone heart was what I actually thought. I was actually warmed by it knowing that she recently lost her father. I thought it was actually lovely that she is bringing new life into this world. You know, this is not very Ben, but I had this moment and I was actually happy for her. It's probably going to be very healing for her. So, you know, I don't know. Yeah.

Just sharing, guys. Just sharing. So Aaron and Rebecca start their lunch. You start everything on the show. You look amazing. You look amazing. What are you wearing? What are you wearing? What are you wearing? I love your purse. I love your purse. I love your purse. Bye. Bye.

Every single scene. It's cute. But Rebecca does make this purse, so it's special. Because this is not only a tie-in with Wicked, it's also a tie-in with Scientology. We're selling a lot today on this show. I know. Wicked for witch purses and occults. So that's what we're doing this season on Wicked.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I need one of those backs. Oh, yeah. Well, you just say the word, sis. I think I know someone. Hold on one second. I've got a huge amount of mucus coming out of my nose. Like, oh, God, Rebecca, every single episode. So they talk about last night's wild Cinco de Mayo party. They're not problematic at all. Party that Aaron had where she's bringing a mezcal to the world.

Where she introduces the world to Mezcal. And I couldn't believe it. Honestly, I was actually shocked that this did not become a storyline. Actually, although you never know. Maybe next episode it will. But I think we joked about this last week. If we didn't, I'm sure we thought about it. That when Jessel sat down and said, Oh, something smells. Aaron, is it you? We're like, watch this become like a five-episode arc. And sure enough, Aaron is like,

Yeah, it was kind of crazy. Like, remember, like, apparently I smell. You know, I'm like, really? This is going to be a storyline for you, Aaron? Really? I may have jumped ahead. I apologize. And Rebecca's like, well, oh, you did jump ahead. Because Aaron, who spends the rest of the episode trying to prove what a gossip Brynn is, immediately sits down and is like, hey, Rebecca, I saw Brynn, and she said something so mean about you. She said you're from the Nordstrom rack. And...

Yeah, subtle Aaron. Very, very subtle. Pigeonry. And Rebecca is just like, oh, well, that's great. So, okay, good one, I guess. I mean, listen, she doesn't have to like my stuff. I mean, that's fine. I mean, I built a $100 million company. She goes, oh, yeah, good for you. I loved it. I loved Rebecca's response. That's like the sort of response that comes from someone who's extremely successful. When you're like, oh,

Like you're so comfortable. You're so settled in with your success that hearing like a word try to come for you. It like it bounces off of you so hard. She's like, oh, OK, well, that's cute. Well, I built a hundred million dollar company. I actually have a tie in with Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande right now. I actually wrote here on a broomstick. So what did you write? What's your tie in with?

yeah it's very like standing in the nordstrom rack of being mocked by someone at the ross dress for less like are you kidding me am i supposed to give a and go ahead and throw those clothes you're trying on on the floor you loser like everybody else at my favorite store in the world love you ross call me this is the second second season in a row where they've tried to do this because last season it was like oh jenna wow

look at her. She's so like, she's so past. Like she, all she does is trying to buy our friendship. It's like, no, she just has so much free shit because she's so successful that she just has to give it away. And it's like, she's busy designing Rockefeller center and you're busy opening up a box in Brooklyn.

Alex McCord. Yes. So she's like, well, I do think it's pretty distasteful for her to come from my career or anything I've done. I mean, I'm not sure what she's done. It's like a little yap dog trying to bite you. I've been bit by real sharks. Okay. Try calling Ron L. Hubbard chubby.

That didn't work out well for me. But once I got out of that hole, I started doing really well again. Turns out I'm really good at apologizing. Bryn thinks she's going to insult me. Okay, how about try stealing Kirstie Alley's chair at the restaurant? That's a real bite. Ask Kirstie Alley if she's going to vote for Kamala and see where that gets you. I'm not afraid of you, youngie.

So Erin is like, well, I feel like Brynn's going to convert to Judaism. I mean, she had Passover. She hosted a Seder. She's desperate for a storyline. That's kind of what we do on this show, like bringing back some Leah. And it also kind of harkens back to Leah's fall from grace when she just became completely lame, not because she converted, but because she was so desperate for a storyline. Yeah.

And Bryn's fall from grace. Bryn's kind of suffering the same thing right now. It's like, well, I have nothing to do. I'm not dating anybody and I can't show my work. I guess I'll convert to Judaism for the masses. Aaron's like, so by the way, can I ask a personal question that I can tell everyone about? Oh, it totally squirted out. And that's the thing. You know, you really just don't know. I'm not talking about the cup again. Yeah.

Yeah, I would love to talk about something else, which is, so you're Jewish, but like, how are you Jewish and a Scientologist? And she's like, oh yeah, well, Jewish is my religion, but like the other one's like an applied philosophy. And so it's just like, it's rough, you know? So like when I have like,

You know, when things get rough, when, you know, Kirstie Alley is, you know, used to throw biscuits at my head, RIP Kirstie, you would just think like, okay, what would Elrond do? And I would say, I'm going to go up into space. It doesn't always work because I haven't been to space yet, but knowing that I could potentially someday get there, it's nice. Nice feeling.

But you know, she's selling it like it's the best thing ever. She's like, "It's just where I go when I need help with stress, or the kids, or communication, or a decent chicken nugget, or just some fresh air, or balloon animals." You know, they have balloon animals. They're big believers in that. That's super fun. Massages. That's basically what Scientology is. It's just a warm hug, a cookie that you can smell baking outside. That's great. I mean, you leave the cookie on the table and we'll murder your family. But otherwise, you know, it's a pretty fun time.

Rebecca, she literally goes, I mean, like, you know how you could go to SoulCycle and say that's a spiritual experience for you? That's like, that's what Scientology is.

You know how when you go to find it for SoulCycle, they take all of your belongings and all of your money to buy themselves things and kind of enslave you? It's like that. It's basically the same thing. Just without bikes. Actually, we do have bikes if you'd like to get. It's SoulCycle, but we actually cycle with your soul. We steal your soul. We ride it around the block a few times, and then we don't ever give it back to you. So it's fun. To be fair. It's a good place.

SoulCycle is a much scarier cult than Scientology. So, Rebecca, so, you know, she's like, you know. Free to be you and me. Be someone I'd want to be, you loser. Final, you loser. Okay, it's a moderate claim. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.

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So Rebecca is, she's like, you know, I think it's unfortunate that there are all these stereotypes out there that like people who just like don't have the right information who are just like working with inadequate data. And I just would like ask people to check it out for yourself and whether it's reading a book or going online or just becoming a Scientologist on spec.

You know, just do what it takes. You know, if you ever see a Scientology center, go in there, give them your bank information, your social security number, and just let it wash over you. That's what I would suggest. Yeah, we know that's what you would suggest. Get the fuck out of here with that. Okay? Nobody needs you on here advertising, especially because she's doing so well. You know, she's like so calm.

Nothing can make her mad. She's happy. She's peaceful. She's rich as fuck. She's doing the Wicked movie. I mean, it looks good to me, and I know what you people are up to. I fucking know. And I'm still like, well, I'm in. Do they have a Happy Meal toy? What does this come with? I'll give them everything.

Yeah, but then you'll have to like walk around Hollywood wearing slacks and like a light blue shirt all day long. I've been reading about the Shelly and I've watched my Leah Remini shows. You are not going to trick me, ma'am. You are not going to fucking trick me like Dr. Atkins did. OK, that motherfucker. OK, he also tried to trick me with his culty bullshit. I sat there and ate bacon and eggs until my heart almost popped out and I died. OK, I'm not falling for it again, ma'am.

Cut to Ronnie in the middle of the night planting fields of tulips for Nicole Kidman to come to Palm Springs. Like they got me. I don't know what happened. They just got me. I think Nicole quit. I mean, if Nicole was still there, I'd be like, no.

maybe I love her. I really love Nicole. Anyway, I'm not falling for this bullshit and I hope none of you are either. Okay. Do not check out literature. Do not go to a center. Do not read anything. Don't do it. It's dangerous. Danger. Okay. My friend went to a center and they like lock the doors and like they made her watch a movie and she was like, please let me go. She had to pretend like she had to go to the bathroom. So they would let her out and she ran out of there.

Yeah, that's scary. And they do carry it in a self-healthy way here in Hollywood. It's like,

It's just a place you just, you know, you're stressed and you need some confidence. We're just people to talk to. And then they record everything that you tell them and use it against you, allegedly, and blackmail you with it for the rest of your life. Allegedly. Just don't do it. It's just not good. I like Rebecca. You know, I'm willing to look past faults. Oh, I love Rebecca. I'm really enjoying her on the show. I like her energy, even with the bullshit she pulls in this episode. I still like her, but this is a no from me. No, no. No.

I do not. I say no to your sample. You can keep moving along, ma'am. Okay. Ronnie is going to go clear out of this situation. I'll tell you, I'm about to clear your ass, Scientology. Clear.

but that being said, I do enjoy Rebecca on this show as some like a weird entity that comes through this weird, highly successful entity that does nothing. So she's like, yeah, well, when I was born, my parents were just trying to like find out about it. And then like, yeah, when I was 18, that's when I felt like this is something I need to deal with the insanity of my life. So it's been like a great, it's been great for me. I'm like,

listen, not to harp on this whole thing, but like the choices you make when you're 18, sometimes they're like, sometimes it's time to revisit them and say, is this still a good choice for me? Cause let me tell you something. If I didn't do that, I might still be wearing Tevas every day.

I stand by all of mine. I stand by every damn stupid choice I made. But I took this more as her being like, it wasn't until the age of consent that I really decided that I was going, oh, okay. So you weren't indoctrinated since you were a child. You're making sure to be like, exactly on my 18th birthday.

today. It was amazing. I registered for the Army, possibly, and for the draft, which I don't think I did actually, but I'll just go with that. And Scientology, you know, that's where I made all my big decisions. Right in time.

I would love to see Rebecca Minkoff as a soldier. Like, that's the funniest visual for me. Hi, so I know we're going to be like making an offensive over here, but I was also thinking like maybe I should stay back and like I can just like accessorize the camp a little bit. What do you think?

Guys, you bombed my barracks. Is that supposed to hurt my feelings? Because I make purses for Wiccans. So... Hey, so this tank, this is like really nice. You know what? The thing is, I can't even come up with a theoretical situation. Because I know so little about Rebecca. All she does is like...

Yeah, so the other day I was on the battlefield and this guy, he just got blown up. I mean, his blood, his intestines actually wrapped around my neck and I was like, oh my God, that's how I'm just not going to stand near people because I don't need the intestines around them. Am I grossing you all out right now? Sometimes all a terrorist needs is to breastfeed a little bit. It brings people right around. It just warms you up. Does anyone? Yeah.

Does anyone mind this prisoner of war? I let him suck on my tit for a little bit. Is that okay? I just thought it would be mean just to keep giving him oranges. You know what's so funny? He finished and he got color back in his face and he literally said, pow. Isn't that funny? I know we're supposed to be staying in bunk beds, but I brought my virginity bed. Does anyone mind if I just sleep in that? Yeah.

So the producer's like, because she's like, okay, so there's so many stereotypes. So if you want to know anything, read a book, watch the movie, see the concert, buy the album, listen to the book on tape as you sleep at night. Certainly it'll get past some walls there. And the producer's like, so when you say like, go read a book, the first thing that comes to mind is Going Clear. And she goes, oh, well, not that book. Oh, God, I'm going to be reprimanded.

So then Aaron's like, you know what? I have like so much respect for her that I would never want to insult her belief system, mainly because she's like much richer than I am. So I'm just going to be nice to her. But yeah, I think I know too much about Scientology. I wish I knew less. Yeah. So that was the Scientology conversation we've all been waiting for. It's all great. Stop asking. It's the happiest place on earth. Okay. Now sit your Mickey ass mouse down.

So their salads arrive. And so now it's time to gossip. And Aaron's like, yeah, Jussel's a funny one. She says I smell. Who says that? They go to someone's event when you're dressed like the salsa girl emoji and they say that to you. Like, are you kidding me right now? Like, are you serious right now? Like, are you kidding me? Can I have a side order of kidding me so I could just be like, are you kidding me right now?

Like, here I am introducing America to a brand new beverage, and she's going to say that I smell. You know what smells? Urine tolerance, because I introduce you to Mezcal right now. But then also your urine tolerance smells. It's a super weird. Yeah.

So Aaron is like, how about like, hi, nice to see you. How was your night? Thank you for bringing this very rare and special beverage to North America for once. It's about time that a lady from New York did something for Mexico, right? And Rebecca's like, well, I thought natural deodorant works for me. I mean, so does every poor person who's under me in Scientology. It actually really is a good cult.

They put it on me. I've actually made it out of children of the pores in Scientology. So it's natural deodorant. I made Cynthia Erivo put her nose in my armpit before we move forward with our collaboration. And she said it smelled okay. So then Uba goes into the Jonathan Adler store and the clerk greets her. And poor Uba is just so lonely, man. She's really making this poor clerk sad.

lift a lot in this scene. She's like, hi, welcome to the store. She's like, oh, I'm so excited. I'm moving to my boyfriend's house. I need some color. You know what I mean, right? Let's talk deeply about it. She's like, is there anything that you want to buy? Because my dog's very sick. Just like to get back to my magazine. I'd love to have a baby. I hope it's not too late. What do you think? Hmm.

So then Stacey, her friend, they're in Jonathan Adler, which is like an interior decor store. See you later, decorator. See you later, decorator. And there's all these lamps and tchotchkes and pottery this and baz that, everything. And this lady, Stacey, brings in a full-on borzoi into this place. Okay, well, you know I already have my thing about people bring dogs to too many places. They just think it's like they can bring their dog anywhere.

But like that being said, I'm also aware that like they more or less can bring dogs. But why are you bringing this big ass dog to this place with expensive pottery that can just be flung to the ground with one wag of the tail? I was like offended. I was offended on behalf of Jonathan Adler. Yeah. So there that dog didn't look happy. I'll tell you that.

I don't really have that. I've just kind of given in because, A, I have a dog, but also there literally are dogs like in HomeGoods. People just walk in their dogs through the HomeGoods. I'm like, I don't know why that is, but I've accepted that it happens, and so I'm okay with it. Now, this dog looked like, why am I here? Please let me just go home. I'm 100 years old. Do you know what I want to do? I want to lay my lanky ass down. I'm very tall. I'm a six-foot tall old dog. I don't want to walk around your goddamn store looking at booby vases. Just let me rest.

That Borzoi looks like it tells other dogs in the park, oh, I don't watch TV. No, I just like to curl up and read The New Yorker. Like, you know, all the other dogs like, oh, I don't watch. Oh, here's whatever happened to reading. Am I wrong? You know, I was just reading this review by Machiko Kakutani in The New York Times. Oh, I love the way she writes. Like, oh, shut up and watch The Masked Singer for once for serious.

So she goes on and on about Oliver. Oliver, Oliver, can you believe it? I finally hit the bullseye with Oliver. You know, I need to bring some color in his house, but I can't move into his house because it's Connecticut. I'm a New York girl. I have to stay in New York the whole time. What if I can't get pregnant? I'm going to get pregnant, right? What do you think? Hmm.

Oh, look, this has butterflies. I love butterflies, but it has beetles. Sorry, no beetles. Beetles look like cockroach. I don't like cockroach. Remember when we saw a cockroach, but it was fake? Remember? And then I threw up. Okay, back to presents. Oh, look, it's a pillow. This is beautiful. It's a rainbow, but it's not too much. I'm like, first of all...

Jonathan Adler's just not going to fly on Greenwich. I'll tell you that much. Okay. If it's not made by like, you know, LL Bean or Land's End or Crate and Barrel, it's just not going to work or Ralph Lauren. So then Uba's just going on about how she has different lifestyle with Oliver and everything. And it's just sort of going on and on. And like, oh my God, it's a bug. Because that's her new thing is she's going to throw up about everything this year, which I don't know. I mean, I guess it's an effort being made, but,

So she goes on and on about Oliver and how Oliver has a schedule and he wakes up and goes to the gym and I can predict his day. But sometimes I lay on sofa and stare at the wall for six hours. So it's going to be rough. Yeah, that sounds great. So she also talks about how during her period, she's now having excruciating pain. So maybe she has fibroids or something. I don't know. But she's going to go check to get that checked out. And Stacy's like, yeah, you should get that checked out.

So in other words, it was a great scene. Now we go with Cy and she's with her daughter London and they head over to Rebecca's office

And Cy tells us that Rebecca invited London and Cy over to check out Rebecca's new collection that's been inspired by the film Wicked. So we love seeing that NBCUniversal synergy at play. Yeah, super subtle stuff. One thing I don't remember the witches having in Wicked are purses. But you know what? Yeah.

I don't think they had Happy Meals either. And you know there's going to be a goddamn Happy Meal or something about it. So who knows? Yeah, the Defying Crimes. I had a shaving cream that said Jurassic Park and it was dinosaurs all over it. And I was like, what does this have to do with shaving cream? Dinosaurs didn't shave. They didn't have hair. They were reptiles. Excuse you. Excuse you. The shaving cream can played a pivotal role in Jurassic Park.

It is what Newman hid the embryos in to smuggle out of the park. That's true. I forgot about that. Damn it, you got me. I was just so upset about this whole shaving cream thing. Got me on that one, Newman. You got me, Newman. You got me again. I am your Jurassic Park ombudsman. But either way, your point remains, which is that a Rebecca Minkoff wicked tie-in is like...

Like, peak ridiculous. Yeah. So, and also London gets called because London is an influencer herself. Even the children on the show are influencers. So...

London's like, wow, it is a fairy wand. Wow. It is. This is so cool. And Rebecca's like, well, you better pick your favorite purse because you're going to get to keep one. And she's like, wow, that is so great. This kid is literally handed something everywhere they go. They're like, oh, my God, that little kid has a following. Give her a pizza. Give her this cat for free. You can tell she's like, thanks for your little purse. Mommy, could you put this in the Chanel? Yeah.

Yeah, so this one, this bag here, we took some inspiration from Elphaba's broomstick. And this purse here, we just took some inspiration from a big poop that I had the other day. So anyway, take whatever you want. This purse doesn't look like a purse because it's just a big pile of goo after water was thrown on Elphaba. And you know what else is like a big pile of goo? I have to say, don't talk like that in front of my daughter. Don't talk about the Diva Cup.

No more good stuff today. So, yeah. So they have this whole, you know, this whole wicked accessories tie-in moment. And then London's like, I have been told by NBCUniversal that I have to go to the bathroom now. So I'm going to go away and I'll be gone for a very long time so you guys can have a scene. Yeah. Yeah.

So they start talking about, you know, stuff. Let's see here. They're still talking about purses. I'm trying to fast forward through this. Okay, so they're going to have a dodgeball game, right? Yes. There's going to be dodgeball, which again, funny concept, Rebecca Minkoff playing dodgeball. And Cy's like, I'd love a good dodgeball game. Let's have some fun. And besides, some of these girls need balls thrown in their faces. Yes.

So Sai's like... She also got an I'm hungry in there. She did. Yeah, because Sai said she picked up a little black clutch and she's like, winner, winner, chicken dinner. Power of millennials. Winner, winner, chicken dinners. Oh, God. Give me some snacks.

How mad was Brynn that she didn't get to say the line about getting balls thrown in their face? I love getting balls thrown in my face. Sorry, Si took the line. Bitch. I'm sure she says it later, doesn't she? Getting balls, dodge balls? I mean, getting balls thrown in my face. Just another day in my week.

That's why I like girls. So I don't have to worry about so many balls in my face. I'm so gay right now. Look, I'm playing sports, Jenna. So then there's a dodgeball game. Okay, so then Brynn comes... What are we talking about? Brynn's coming down the street and she's going to No Mo Soho. No Mo Soho? What happened to Soho? They're just like, No Mo. Soho is No Mo. So Aaron... Aaron Jessel...

And if there were homophobes there, they'd be like, no more homo soho. Yeah, there's no homos here anymore. No homo, no more soho. No homo, no more soho. So Aaron and Jessel, they're sitting at a table. You look hot, bro. No more. Hey, I look hot right now.

So they arrive, they say hi and everything, and all the, like, you look good, you look good, you look good, you look good, you look good, you look good. So it's like, thanks for coming down here. I just came from work. And Jess is like, oh, do you have to go in every day to the quote-unquote job that you have? She's like, no, it's just like three days a week. And like, you know, I worked in tech before, so it's like good. I like love my team. Yeah.

People say that. I love my team. I love them. They're not yours. I don't believe you. She's like, they're like, well, so what's your thing? Because this is one of those like, okay, let's give Brynn a chance to talk about her work because everybody was calling her a sugar baby last year. Okay, Brynn, tell us about your work. She's like, I have a team. There's like 14 people here. And then there's like...

50 people in tokyo and then there's like a 30 people on top of the matterhorn and then there's like 50 people who work underground it's like nuts it's tech it's all over the place all the time i kind of like balls in my face and because it's with nbcu i'm contractually obligated to tell you that 30 of my workforce is munchkins wicked and theaters november 22nd

So she talks about how she has 50-something engineers in London. And Aaron's like, oh, wow, that's a whole thing. Jessa's like, wow, that's huge. That's crazy. So there's all of those people just riding trains around an office. No, not train engineers. Internet engineers. I don't follow.

I don't know. You know, Brynn to me is someone that's hyper smart and she's building an app. And the fact that she seems excited about this role, I'm happy for her. I don't know what she does, but like, I don't know. She's there. And so Aaron's like, I'm going to be silent. If you fuck around with her job, she'll come for you. I'm like, oh, let's not do that. Do I really smell like seriously? Like we're going to start this lunch and no one's going to even address me. That's not how I smell.

Actually, I have to go to London. Not this week, but the next week. I'm very, very important. And they're like, wow. Jessel says, you're such a London girl. You're more of a London girl than I ever was. Look at you. She goes, oh my god, yeah. It's like so cute that you have it in your Instagram profile, but I'm the one that's been there more. So, huh.

And then she goes, yeah, you should put it in your Instagram profile. She goes, I wouldn't do that because I'm not a basic bitch. Call back. And we see a flashback to Uba calling Jussel a basic bitch because she likes to drink her water out of glasses instead of directly from the carafe. So then... I drink out of the bottle because I'm not a basic bitch. Yeah.

Okay. Still remains, I think, the highlight of the season. So Bryn's like, by the way, I called Jenna the next day and I was like, I want to be

a lesbian. Just kidding. And I was, like, shocked by, like, what Jenna had to say when I asked her if she thought you were a basic bitch. And Jessel's like, well, what did she say? Did she say yes? And Brynn's like, well, she goes, Jessel's cute. And I was like, but is she a basic bitch? Yes or no? Answer the question. It's, like, very definitive. And she goes, I don't know. I'm gonna have to think about it.

And Jess was like, think about it. What? And then we see a clip to what really happened on FaceTime. Jenna's like, oh, you know, I mean, the joke about Jessel being a basic bitch. I mean, the reason that's funny is because she's not a basic bitch at all. 100% not a basic bitch. Zero part of her is basic or a bitch. She's not basic or a bitch or a bitchy basic. None of those things.

In fact, I don't think I would even feel comfortable watching Basic Instinct because if I thought about Jessel while watching the movie, I would feel like that's a betrayal about how I actually feel about her, which is that she is 1000% not a basic bitch. Let me make it clear, not a basic bitch. If she was cable, she'd only be HBO. She's just not basic at all.

Yeah, if she were a computer language, it definitely would not be basic. She would be coming in probably around like, you know, Java or JavaScript, but definitely not basic. Yeah, she's no DOS. And everyone's like, well, hang on, because sometimes I think that a basic bitch is someone who tries too hard. That's a little basic. Well, pot, hi. The kettle's on line two. Commercials, here comes one right now.

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So Jenna's like, well, I mean, I don't know. Okay, let's just table that one because I'm not going to give you the basic bitch thing for Jessel. It's like as clear as day that Jenna has not co-signed. She's like, I don't want to talk about this. And then she turns it around and she called you a basic bitch. You're so stupid. Like, honestly, at this point, it's not cute. It's not funny. It's just dumb. It's not even good enough to be fun.

You know, it's like you're trying to get people to fight with Jenna. Why? People like Jenna more than you. And they're always going to get over it. Like, I think if you're going to destroy it, you're going to need a lot more than stupid games like this. You know, I think she thinks she's really doing something here. I think that she is like, I'm trying to get this show. Like, come on, we got to do a show. We got to start fighting. Yada, yada, yada. But it's like, you're so clunky about it. Like the whole audience sees what you're doing. And on top of that, production is bad.

airing, they're basically putting you on blast. Every time you try to do something, production is like showing the audience like, look what she's trying to do. So production clearly does not appreciate Brynn doing this. Production would probably be happier if they just acted normally, acted like themselves.

But, yeah, she's just trying really hard. So Jessel's like, that's crazy because she always comments on, like, you know, how I dress. And clearly she doesn't feel that way. I can't believe it. Jenna, is she Two-Face? What is that? And Brent's like, yeah, Jenna Lyons. And Aaron's like, I mean, it's like Jenna, the ultimate style guru, is telling her that her style sucks. It's almost as bad as someone telling me I smelled at my own party. Yeah.

Right when I'm trying to improve culture by introducing something special and very brand new. So Jessel's like, I mean, she was the one that was defending me. And so Jessel's like all upset. And she's like, you know, is Jenna defending me to my face? And then behind my back calling me a basic bitch. You know, Jenna does shop at Gap. So like, I don't know who's the basic bitch around here. I'm like, well, listen, Jessel.

If you're trying to do a sick burn on Jenna for shopping at Gap, I mean, she's from J.Crew. Like, this is not going to really – like, yeah, of course she shops at Gap. That makes sense. Yeah, she probably invented half the things at the Gap. And Brynn's like, oh, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Oh, God. Like, insipid, seriously. So then Brynn's like, you know, I wouldn't even care if someone called me basic. Yeah.

And she's like, it's really fun getting a rise out of desolation. It's fun. Like, am I strategically, like, leaving out that I might have also called her amazing? Stirring the pot. Stirring the pot. No, you're not. You're just poisoning soup for no reason. You know what I mean? Like, you're not even cooking anything, you fucking lazy ass. Get out of here.

Yeah, I'm gonna get carpal tunnel because I turn them out so much. I'm like, is that how you get carpal tunnel? I thought it was from bad wrist posture, but typing, but that's okay. So then Brynn's like, oh, I did another funny thing at your party. So I asked like, where's Rebecca? And I just like made a joke about like the nurse from Rack Awards. Wait, can I pause you right now for a minute? I think she is really sensitive.

Oh my God. I can't believe it. I have something to say. Why is she like pregnant? Whoa. Whoa. You guessed that. Wow. I can't say, oh my God. Oh, this is real. Oh my God. Mezcal. So Brynn's like pregnant again. She just kind of nods at her like, ooh, be quiet. It's a secret. And so Jessa's like, she's what? What?

And now they're all like, oh, my God. And it's like, that's why she's not drinking. And so the other two are shocked. And it even gets crazier. Everybody goes, who's the dad? Are you making a joke or do you know something? No, I'm making a joke. Well, it's not a joke. It's actually like not a joke. It's like a big thing. Like Mezcal will be.

It's going to be bigger than even probably empanadas, which I'm considering bringing to America. And Brynn was like, wait a minute. I was just joking. That's my joke. Like when everyone says who's pregnant, I say like, who's the dad? Am I dating him already? Is someone sawing a leg off the table? What is that noise? No.

it's like not confirmed but we and we don't know that but it's just like guys it's like fucking crazy we have like a mutual friend and she said that like rebecca had this like one night let's just have like a crazy night wait do they have an open relationship like me and parvatt well it's not really open it's more like he's in a relationship with both me and every fried chicken sandwich in nathan

So basically, her husband doesn't mind her sharing her bon me and getting it plowed by other people. It's like, um, I guess. And Jocelyn's like, do they have an open relationship? And she's like, well, she is pregnant. That's very early on, and she's really stressed about it. And then, and Brent's like, and she said she doesn't know who the dad is. She goes, well, she didn't tell me that, but I heard it.

Wait, can I have it? Like, I don't have one yet. She has like four. Can I just like, I'll pay her. It's like, no, yeah, she's got beautiful babies. Yeah. And she's still breastfeeding. Yeah. This is just like what I heard guys.

And so then Brynn confirms everything that we all kind of know about her, which is don't trust the client ones. I'm loud and I'm a fucking prude. So, yeah, I would never in my wildest dreams. And Jess was like, this is madness. Absolute madness.

And at this point, I was like, wow, seriously? Fuck Aaron. Who does that? Like, who does that? That is so bad to, like, sit in someone's face and kiss their ass and then turn around and, like, try and ruin their life. Like, she has children, man. I really did get worked up because I didn't know until the last half of this episode. So I was totally like, oh, no, I just...

I had been spoiled already, so I knew this was fake. So I was just like... But I was thinking, like, I can imagine watching this and being like, this is so fucking rude. And then I was also thinking, like, well, they don't know that this is fake. And, like, I can't believe they're not clocking Aaron. Like, this is so shitty to, like, just, like, gossip about this. Like, you know. Yeah, on camera. Like, why is it... Okay, so then we go to Raquel and Fiance Mel.

I'm going to a bar called the Bush, which is so fucking funny because New York and their naming of gay bar is like the dick ball sack tight.

I love that the lesbians are like, Bush girl, are we, are we not traumatized about what the bushes did to this country? Still? Like, come on. Like I get that we all have it, but still. I also think it's funny how gay bars, whether they're gay or lesbian bars, um,

Just name all their cocktails. They're just so like, well, we're a gay bar, so we might as well name our cocktail about something, some aspect of our, of like our life. Yeah. Yeah. Like we'll have, so you're like, we'll have two slutty punches, please. Thank you so much. Yeah. Well, I hope this place at least has like a big gigantic painting of Barbara Bush as you walk in to make it. Cause I mean, Barbara Bush was like the biggest,

Bullish lesbian ever. She's like, oh, yeah, you won't fuck with me. So I think it would be great if they had a lesbian bar with Barbara Bush's face as she walked in. So Raquel and Mel walk in. And Aaron and Abe are going to come meet them. And they're both like, I wonder if they've ever been to a bar like this. And they're like, oh, probably not. So Aaron and Abe, they arrive.

and um mel and abe love each other they just do and they're wearing like the same outfit and you know i i really enjoy mel as well i'm like i want to be friends with mel and so raquel they were just like oh my god hi and they're like oh my god we love we love abe and apparently mel's whole thing is that she calls abe gabe because she conflated gay and abe together and made gabe because she was talking about gay bars at the time so that's the other thing

So she likes him because he has lesbian sensibilities. I like that. And so then they start talking about. Yeah, they start talking about stuff. And then we have this moment from Abe where I was like, can we go back to this? Because he's like, no. So what do you think I was going? Yeah.

I don't know. Wait, hold on. Wait. It's literally the next thing on the note. I never know where you're going. So I just wanted to make sure we didn't skip it. Okay. But go on. No, go ahead. Well, he's like, he's like, he's like, I've never kissed a guy. I've been tempted in college. I came really close. And there was a point where I questioned my sexuality. And it just leaves it right there. We don't get anything more. I was like, hello. What? Is that abnormal?

Well, I feel like it's abnormal for a lot of men to say that on camera. Yeah. Well, last year his thing was, I could have a threesome, but it better be with another guy. Remember when he said that to Erin? She's like, Abe? I'm like, what? Well, yeah. Maybe everybody's a little fluid. These days it's 2024. If you haven't considered making out with...

somebody of a different gender than you, you just aren't paying attention to Pornhub. I guess not. So Abe is like, so you were married to a man? When did you realize you were into women? What was your journey? So they talk. Now this is a little worrisome. He's like, so how long did it take you at from the time you were curious in college? How long did it take you to finally escape from that fucking mezcal monster? She's like, uh,

I hope you're not getting personal. Nope, nope, not talking about myself at all. I mean, enjoying that gum guzzler? Okay. When did you, how did you escape? Did you write down instructions? Please pass them over.

So, yeah, we hear that Raquel was like a model in an Italian pensiones, which is a dorm for all the models. And apparently she hooked up with other women there when she was like 19 or 20 or so, something like that. Oh, also, we should correct what we were talking about last week as far as Raquel goes. So we were misunderstanding her whole story. So she gave a lot of information last week.

about being in a relationship and then she was with Mel, but she was keeping it quiet because she was in a partnership with somebody else that was a famous artist. And so they had to keep it quiet to sell their art. And then she got bullied online with Mel and all that stuff. Well, that was not her husband. That was a female artist that she'd left her husband for already.

So I got that all confused. And people were like, how dare you? You don't know this. I don't know shit. I don't know shit about art. Did they make the Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris in five different languages poster at the HomeGoods? Then I don't know them. Okay, I'm sorry. I know. I thought the story was exactly how you said it too. By the way she said it on camera, it definitely made it sound like she left Paris.

her husband for Mel or something like that. That's what I thought, but no. So anyway, we were wrong about that. Sorry, history broken. We broke history. So now they're talking about...

Raquel's like, "Well, she's making me sound slutty." Because Mel goes, "Drink your slutty punch, honey." She's like, "Hey, now she's making me sound slutty. It wasn't slutty." Yeah. Well, I hope it was slutty. You were in a house of models. Gosh, that's the time to slut it up, right? And Aaron's like, "Well, Gabe is slutty, so don't worry about it." So Raquel's like, "Yeah, but marriage wasn't what I expected it to be. It wasn't his gender. It was just not a good marriage."

So she kind of goes into that whole thing and she ended up finding out she was really a lesbian beyond the hooking up with people in college. But like when she really like had a reckoning with herself, it's when she met Bethany Frankel. Bethany Frankel said, it's a reckoning.

is when she watched the L word, which kind of lends credence to all of those morality police who are like, you better watch what's on the TV. Cause soon everyone's going to be gay. I guess it does work. Sometimes, you know, L word was such a good show. It converted, it converted some people. Yeah. It, it like learned someone in L L job. Yeah. Um,

And I like to think that we are actively making people gay as they listen to our podcast. Yes, hell yes. If Rebecca's allowed to come on here and say be a Scientologist, I'm allowed to come on here and say make out with another dude, guys. Try it. Just try it. You might like it.

Abe, come on, let's revisit. So then Erin, she's like, oh yeah, so Mel went to space and you got a space rock because we call that engagement ring a space rock. Isn't that funny, Mel? Oh God, I love being with the gays. They're so funny.

I'm just like so obsessed with it. And Mel's like, well, you know, because she's not basic. And they all start laughing like, oh, so now it's just all walking down with her mom, walking around with her mom to go have some lunch. And they go just, oh, no, it's not lunch because just the mom's like, I'm hungry. No, the mom says, I'm not hungry. And just says, well, you're definitely going to be eating, but it's not food.

And it's a jewelry store. So what does that mean? Does that mean like, oh my God, she ate. Yeah, I think so. I think Jessel is trying to use that slang. Like you're eating, you're eating mother. It's slang. It's slang for you're doing something really well. Like buying jewelry. Yeah.

You're eating, literal mother. So this is my favorite jewelry store and I have Parvath's credit card. And every time he eats a banh mi, I get to buy a ring. We love it, that arrangement.

So she's like, I love taking his credit card. He might get a fraud alert. It's fine. He'll just clear it. So they look at, you know, jewelries and stuff like that, which isn't so bad. It's like $600, which for this show is really good. Didn't we see somebody looking at a $40 million or $4 million, I guess, on SLC? Yeah. This week or last week. So, yeah.

This is cheap. $600 is like, that is real cheap. That's like Gina. So Jessel is like, so for like vacation, whatever, I want to go on vacation. And Neelam is like, wait a second. I'm worried about Povit. I guess they're still talking about credit cards and all this stuff. She's like, well, he married me. So that's what he gets. This is the repercussions of that.

So now they start talking about how it would be a good push gift if she could have a baby, you know? So we talk about Jessalyn and her baby, which I'm still not buying for some reason. I don't know why I don't buy this. I don't believe she wants another baby. And then I think she's like, oh, we found a therapist. He lives in Mexico City. He's going to help us communicate. Because, you know, he doesn't have like an American sort of point of view, which I think is sometimes very like, you know, narrow. Yeah.

You know, we needed to find a therapist that was in Mexico City because, you know, he's not like American and disgusting and unpleasant, stupid, boring. And then she tells us Mexico City is very cultural. There's so many food options. I mean, you know, they can connect on that front as an icebreaker. What do you want everyone to connect with your husband about? Nachos. Yeah.

Truly, I picked the friggin' therapist based on the food landscape. You know, they can lead a horse to water, but it's not going to drink the water unless he finds out that it's been written up in Ito, Mexico City. She's such a weirdo. Yeah, I got a therapist from Mexico so Pavit can talk about Mexican appetizers with them. Surely this will work. Okay. I know, I was like, this is an interesting approach.

So she's just saying that she likes that this therapist has a global point of view, which is helpful because they're British. And basically, I don't know if this therapist has a global point of view or just a non-American point of view. Because...

like you know you're i mean in new york you have to imagine a lot of people with global sensibilities but i just love that she's she has going all the way she's going all the way to zoom with someone in mexico city when there's like a like new york city is like the land of therapists right like that's where it all is but god bless they're americans she wants somebody from somewhere that's going to tell povet have more children yeah she's saying which kind of is like oh

You know, it's a little questionable, but you know, okay. So then I'm just deciding not to get offended because I'm just over it. So then, and also because it's Jessel and she's just so ridiculous. It's like trying to decode what Jessel is really saying. It's like, wait a minute. Are you saying that you have to go to a Mexican to tell you to have more? What are you talking about? Like what kind of brain, what kind of weird twisted shit are you on right now?

So anyway, they start talking about that. And she's like, okay, now that we've got that storyline out of the way, Rebecca Minkoff is a whore who went into a train and got impregnated by 20 different people. Her mom's like, what? What? Her mom was like shocked. She's like, what? Also, who is this person? Yeah. So now we go to the Chelsea Piers for Filled House because it's time for Dodgeball. Si, can I eat those? No. I'm so hungry.

Yeah. And so, yeah, people are showing up and everything. And Brynn shows up in like a T-shirt that says, like, watch out, I'm gay, which, you know, like she's really like she really is leaning into the gay baiting. And she I mean, this is just blatant right here. Like I've heard, you know, I've heard of like gay baiting or queer baiting and everything. But this is just really just right on the nose there.

Well, especially when you go to a sports thing, because that's like stereotypically a lesbian thing. You know what I mean? It's like playing into weird stereotypes. I don't know. She's exhausting, this girl.

So I didn't even notice that she was wearing that, if that tells you anything. I started to just kind of fuzz her out, like, you know, unwanted content on the internet when you have children. So it's like she's just like a blurred out blob that kind of comes out of my screen and lies a few times. So anyway, so they're talking about how cute each other looks. Oh, my God. Everyone looks so cute. What are you wearing? What are you wearing? What are you wearing? What are you wearing?

Yeah, it's like more. It really is like that. That's like my mental state when I watch that. And Bryn's being cute. She brought football man to protect her boobs. And just like more and more people. Raquel shows up and then Jessel shows up wearing some sort of like strange, like padded outfit. Like she's gonna be wrestling or something. Yeah. And so then we start talking about how she's in trouble because she went on Jeff Lewis and

And during the commercial break when you're being recorded, but it's easy to – I mean, even Jameson tells you, you're being recorded. But still, I guess it just feels more casual because everyone's swiping on their phone. And Jeff had said something like, well, how's the new girl? She's like, oh, she's boring. She's really boring. And so that was in all the news. So she's in trouble now.

Isn't it funny that this is like the one time they decided not to air a Jeff Lewis clip? Like every single other thing, it's like, well, I heard on Jeff Lewis, you said you like Diet Coke more than Diet Pepsi. And then they're like, roll the Jeff Lewis clip. But here there's actually something that actually people cared about in the news or in the gossip rags, and they didn't show it.

So she's like, Rebecca sent it to me and she didn't even say anything. She just sent me the link and I was like, what? You're very nice. And she was like, no, you said I was boring. And she just laughed. She's like, I did say it's boring. It's boring, Pat. Yeah, I mean, no one wants to be boring. Sorry. Sorry. Well, you're on the wrong show for that concern.

So then she's like, yeah, I'm always in trouble. Sorry. It's like, well, you know what? Sometimes you have to be careful with the quiet ones. That's like my new thing, by the way. Have you heard that she's like, Rebecca's like a freak in the sheets. Yeah.

Yeah, I've been going around town. They do, like, have fun with other people and stuff, regardless of the consequences. And she goes, what kind of consequences? No snack time? No. Pregnancy's stupid. The biggest kind. She's just like, oh. Like another man's baby. Those kind of consequences. Oh.

yeah i heard this from arian and i was like fuck that's not true is that true and aaron's like i'm size like aaron said this huh and so sai is now like oh my god this is the most exciting thing i've heard all week long so then you know uh she's just like her eyes are wide and she has a huge smile on her face

So then Brynn says that she left out lunch and she called everybody that she knows because she knows everybody in Rebecca Minkoff's circle. And they totally were saying that she's a freak, basically.

She's so full of shit. Yeah. So she's like, gossip girl over here. I'm a little shell-shocked. I think Brynn's take on Rebecca is that she's no NVA, like no value added, you know? And from her fashion to her personality. So I think this news is giving Brynn all the ammunition she can get just to sweeten the pot.

So, yeah, and she's right, because now Bryn is salivating at the mouth to be able to spread out vicious rumors about Rebecca, which wind up, ultimately, it seems like they're false. Right. So then Jussel's like, well, I just had a meeting with her, and oh, sitting here knowing this information, I feel so awkward, especially because I was eating jewelry. Delicious, actually. With some pickled vegetables. It was a jewelry banh mi, and it was disgusting, actually. Yeah.

So then we see the flashback and Rebecca's like, honestly, I get just so hungry right now. I don't even know why. She's like, why? Why? Because, I mean, I'm working out like crazy. Oh, and you're breastfeeding too. Yeah, and I'm breastfeeding. Right. And breastfeeding while getting railed by multiple men in a dog alley kind of a thing, isn't it?

Well, my Diva Cup did fall out again, so there was that. Is that what you're talking about? So Jessel's just barely able to keep from laughing. She's just staring right into the camera like... You're catching this, right? Yes.

So then Jenna arrives and she's like in a blazer because, you know, that's what you wear to dodgeball. And they're all like, no, I'm talking to her. Like everyone's like saying hi. And then Bryn was like, you look kind of basic to me. I'm just not going to lie. So they laugh about it.

And so then Jessel's like, so what are you a freak for real? What part did you get verified, Brynn? Is someone else's baby or what? And she's like, well, I used to work with Gavin back in the day. So I caught some of our old friends and I was like, hi, it's me, the baby from where do you remember me?

I made poopy in my pants. I'm sorry. That's not very sexy, baby. So anyway, here's the thing. Do they do whatever? And then people are like, yeah, that's their thing. Like they're very, you know, like they're cool. They're like bohemian and they sleep around, whatever. So do you think she's just lying about this? Because now it looks like she's just lying about this too, right?

She's probably, like, just trying to, like, make it a bigger thing, right? And just was like, so is this some hippie shit? Because it's some Scientology shit. I don't fucking know. And he does not care. It's, like, not a big deal. I don't know if he'll be all right with it.

And Jaisal's like, so it's not a big deal that she got knocked up by some other guy. I mean, look, this is wild. Look, my mother's there in the corner. Look at her face. Her mom's like, what? See, she's scandalized.

Why is your mom missing a tooth? She tried to eat a bracelet. She didn't understand the slang. Oh. Well, it's 2024, baby. People do stuff. I mean, I'm still going to shame them on national television about it. But, I mean, at least they're doing it. Yeah, modern times.

Hey, Jenna, Jenna, come over here. I gotta tell you something. Okay, so guess what? There's a rumor going around that Rebecca Minkoff got knocked out by someone else, but I need to tell you, like, okay, this is what happened. Okay, so I saw this, and when I heard it, my eyeballs were fucking hanging out like this, like one of those toys, like doinga, doinga, doinga, doinga, doinga. Rebecca, biggest slut in the world. Who would have thought? Isn't that hilarious, Jenna? Jenna's like, um...

ah, this is, wait, I, this is like too much, too much for me to, what, um, uh, what, ah, I can't, uh, uh, uh, what? Okay, Rebecca Minkoff, she's pregnant, she's pregnant by someone else. And Jenna's like, well, I,

And Gavin doesn't even care. Like, they're cool with it. I like talk to everybody who knows them. And Gavin basically likes getting railed too. It's just that he can't get pregnant. So you really wouldn't know about it. But one time he was in the McDonald's drive-thru and he just got railed and railed and railed. It wasn't even by penises. It was by hot fudge sundaes, which was really crazy. He loves getting fucked in the butt by hot fudge sundaes. Everybody knows it.

He has like a grimace kink. But wait, is she going to play dodgeball? She's pregnant and going to play dodgeball. That's dangerous. What if the ball hits you? What's going to happen?

And so I was like, wait, she's pregnant right now? Yeah, you're the one spreading the gossip. You didn't know this. Come on, man. This cast is really bad with this. I mean, most casts, you hear something like that, you hold on, you wait till the most opportune time, and boom, you use it like a knife and you twist it, you know? But these people are like, listen, everybody, listen to what I got. She got pregnant after getting railed by multiple people.

You know what? I don't want to know. I don't want to hear about it. Like marriage and kids are like off the table as far as I'm concerned. What's on the table? Khaki and lots of it. Can we just talk about khaki, please? So Rebecca comes. Oh my God, she's here. She's here.

And Brynn's like, so how are you feeling? Good. She's like, well, I've been feeling a little weird, but I think I'll be okay. She feels sick. Does she feel sick? Jenna's like, why do you feel weird? Oh, God, I'm playing into this. Why do you feel weird? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And then Brynn is like doing, she's like doing this thing with her. She's like mimicking, like she's like pantomiming, like she's pregnant. Oh, God.

I'm like, real chill there. Like, real chill there, Brynn. Also, like, if this was real, also kind of like fucked up of you too. Truly. So then Brynn's like, so what are your symptoms? And she's like, well, you know, it's just that feeling in your stomach when you're just like nauseous. Is it that you're nauseous? Well, you know, food poisoning is what I meant. And Brynn goes, yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, I get that sometimes too. Yeah.

Yeah, I feel that way, like, when I'm, like, hungover. It's like, oh, yeah, I haven't been hungover in a long time, as you know. Sober mober over here. It's not really a thing, sober mober, but I'm going to start it like I told Cynthia Erivo to say it, and she's been, like, singing on all her red carpets, you know. So, anyway, sober mober. So then Brent's like, right, right, ding, winks.

So Jenna's like, well, you're still breastfeeding, right? She goes, I am. I got a baby on my tit. So, you know, that's the only man that's been there. And Jenna's like, so how old's the baby? 15 months. And Brink goes, the only man? Are you sure he's the only man touching your boobs? And she goes, maybe two others. And they're like, ah!

And by the way, if this is truly a gag, then I have to say, Rebecca's doing a great job of getting them riled up. Like, oh my God. Oh my God. So, in fact, I actually think Rebecca should have taken a swig of beer and they could have been like, oh my God, my MGP dude, I'm just pregnant.

So then Uba comes in and she's wearing heels. She's so wacky. What a wacky girl. How's she going to belong in Connecticut? Spin-off coming. So she comes. Everyone's like, oh, my God, what are you wearing? What are you wearing? What are you wearing? What are you wearing, you basic bitch? Okay, well, you look great. So then Brynn's like, so are you pregnant too, Jessel? Because Jessel's, you know, not drinking. And so she's like, I can't get pregnant. I have to do IVF. No one understands this.

This has been my storyline for two years. Do you guys want to fast forward through my scenes or what? Yeah, well, maybe you should go to the orgy. She's like, do you think this is like an orgy? Do you think that's what that was all about? She's like, yeah, for sure. She's like, well, I would like to go to one of those just to see, just to observe a

I did once try to go with Parvip, but they kicked him out because he smuggled in an oyster po-boy, and they said that was stinking up the whole place. And Brynn's like, yeah, they're like a sex craze. I love that Brynn's whole thing is that she's a sex kitten, and she's like, at the end of the day, she's of course like...

a morality police hypocrite. Like, what a shocker. Never really saw that one. Yeah, never saw that one coming. So then now Psy goes to tell Uba the information and Uba's like, oh, I'm throwing up. That's my thing. Is it great? Is it great? Season three, here we come. Yeah, well, guess what? She's pregnant. So, I mean, the speed with which they tell, like,

Okay, this is like, if it were real, it is a hot, juicy rumor. But the speed and like the foaming at the mouth with which they tell this rumor without like the usual, I have to tell you something secret. Like it's out of control. You know, I think they are so, as you said, I think they're just like so excited that there's something happening that they get like, finally, our season has life. They've never had a real plot line before. So they're like foaming at the mouths now that they think something's actually going to happen. You guys suck at this.

So then they're still gossiping about it. And then Uba's like, of course, like, oh, these pigeons here in this group, they love confusion. They love how she said, do Rebecca want us to know this? Does she? I'm stressed now. I'm going to have a croissant. Oh, wait, hold on. So...

so then now we're going to have like a Jaisal moment with Jenna. So Jenna's like, Oh, Jaisal, I love your gloves. She goes, Oh really? Bryn the other day was saying that you were confused about how I dressed. That maybe I'm a basic bitch, bitch, bitch. And Jenna's like,

Yeah, I didn't say that. Brynn's like, yeah, she said, I don't know. And then you said, like, you're gonna have to think about it. She's like, yeah, I said that because I didn't want to, like, go down that path with you. Yeah, she said, because you're going in on her. And I was like, I'm not gonna go in on her. And Jessa's like, oh, you weren't going in on me? And Brynn's like, no, I wasn't. And so Jenna just laughs. And Jessa's like, oh, God, I believe Jenna. Yeah.

Bryn's just a fucking liar at this point. Like, what's her purpose? So then Bryn's like, well, no, I said an argument could be made for the fact that it's someone who's so camp that's almost basic. You're so basic. You are the most basic one. You even walked in here today and was like, I'm so sex of the city. There's nothing more basic than that, especially being on a TV show and being like, oh, I'm just trying to emulate that other TV show. Get out of here with your basic.

I mean, Bryn, she's like the queen of embellishment. I mean, I think someone will say to Bryn, I love the color pink. And then she'll take that information and go and be like, oh, I was just with someone and they think pink is the most hideous color ever. So you see examples of embellishment. I was like, okay, Jessel, that was a good try. And as someone who has made many comments like that, Matt,

I empathize, but like, I think we could do better here. Yeah. I mean, at least make it like, well, if some should take someone saying, I love pink and then turn it into pink, just got railed by 10 horses in the back stables. And that's why her voice is a little bit off tonight. And she's pregnant by 10 football players. Yeah.

I'm like, I've lost my way in many a joke, but I'm not doing it on TV. Come on, get better at this, Jessel. Because even the editors have given up. You know what I mean? At least in our case, it's just us we can blame. But this is a whole staff of like 50 people standing around that room. And everybody was like, print, print, just keep it going. Let's just release this. This is going to win them. This is going to win them all over, guys.

Where was the producer say, Jessel, that was good. How about instead of saying it that way, why don't you say it this way instead of, yeah, okay, it's fine. Just put it in the episode. Yeah, I mean, it's just...

Wow. So now Jenna's like, yeah, Brynn's just a liar. So, you know, she's stirring the pot. She did it with the Uber story. Now she's doing it with Jessel. She's boring. So then we see her doing that. And then Jenna's like, you know, the Uber thing, then it felt like it was more mean spirited and it definitely feels like a red flag. It makes me cautious for sure. Dun, dun, dun.

So then they make up, Jessel and Jenna, because this is all stupid, made-up bullshit, right? So now Aaron arrives. And they're like, oh my god, look what Aaron is wearing. Aaron, what are you wearing? Aaron, holy mother of god, what are you fucking wearing? It's like Coachella. Yeah.

So, Jenna. So anyway, so they're all saying hi. And now it's time to play dodgeball. So Tim gives them the rules. And now they're going to start playing dodgeball. And then this goes on for a while. There's a lot of dodgeball. A lot of friends really harsh at dodgeball. I mean, I know we're on Brent a lot today, but God, if she even plays dodgeball offensively, she throws it so hard and aims at everybody's head. You know, she's just that dick who does that.

And Jenna's glasses get knocked out by Bryn. And Bryn wins. No surprise there. She really cares a lot. She cares a lot. And further evidence that they have really nothing in this episode is that they actually put in a commercial break at one point. Because at one point, Rebecca has all the balls and she gathers them all up. But she's like...

She's panting, and it's like, oh, no, the pregnant woman. The pregnant woman is panting during dodgeball. Go to commercial. What's going to happen to her? Come back. She's just, like, dead. Like, oh, she died. And she also gets hit in the stomach. So they're like, oh, my God, she got hit in the stomach. Oh, my God. And guess who hit her? Brynn. Brynn aiming at the pregnant lady's stomach. I mean, what the hell, man? So then...

um you know they i'm skipping over this because i can't take it so they uh wow this is a lot of dodgeball let me tell you it's a lot like i'm people are like jenna jenna why are you jenna are you upset that your glasses knocked off and jess was like in england we you don't do that shit if you don't hug it out if you lose you just keep on going and so i was like oh my god finally i fucking like you yeah

And so it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on. And finally, there is after three games, there is a victory and everything. And so then Jenna is like, hey, we're back up. So I don't want to say anything right now, but there is stuff going around that people are saying about you. They're saying you actually don't like the musical Wicked. Do the people at NBC know about this? Because it could be a problem.

I actually really loved what Jenna did here, which is just, she said, I don't believe that. I'm not going in on that. And then she went straight to the source and was like, these bitches are monsters. Watch out. Yeah. Fellow successful person to fellow successful person. The, uh, the Hoy Paloy is trying to take you down right now. Yeah. Hi, my friend. Or as I like to call you the other person, that's way too good for this show. Listen, I just want you to know they're trying to get you. And she's like, what are the, what are you saying? She's like, just tell me. She's like, I can't. And Rebecca goes, no,

Okay, so tell me with your eyes. And then Jenna just looks over at Aaron and Rebecca goes, Aaron, you fucking told her.

because Rebecca does do a lot of great squint work. So like telling something to Rebecca with her eyes actually is very significant for her. So I was like, I didn't tell her anything. What did you fucking say? I didn't tell, I didn't say anything. Um, it's actually true. I mean, well, I mean, we didn't hear it from you, Aaron. Uh, we heard it from Bryn and everything. And she's like, I only told Jessalyn Bryn. Jessalyn goes, congrats.

Congrats. And Rebecca's like, I'm out. That is so fucked up, everybody. And so she leaves. And Aaron's like, sorry, I'm sorry. So Aaron follows her out. And everyone's in shock. And then Aaron and Rebecca embrace each other and start cracking up. And Aaron's like, that was a good one. And she's like, yeah. And it's to be continued. So the implication is that this was all a big prank, probably

In response to Cy saying that Rebecca was boring to teach people a lesson about gossiping. But I think the way that most people took it was like, wow, New York has to actually literally make up a storyline to have an interesting episode these days. Although, to be honest, I enjoyed the episode.

Well, that's good. I'd love to see the positivity. I will not be on that bus with you, but, you know, good for you. I support your bus. I'm waving at the bus as it passes by and saying, congratulations, you enjoyed that ride. So get it together. Give it, get it. I've never seen a show with more goodwill from the fucking people. Even me, even, even us.

Yeah. I want you to be good. And I still kind of enjoy this episode to a degree, too. Like, there is something worth it there, okay? It's not complete trash, but...

Do something. I don't know what it is. I'm not the pro here. Just do something. Someone online, maybe it was like on Twitter, maybe it was like Dorinda Deadly or something like that, was saying like next season they should just do a hybrid. Take like the best people from this. Bring back like a Dorinda and a Luann. Like just like let's do a combo cast because I think that's what the show may need at this point.

I think they should just start over. I don't think that we need to bring rehash. I don't think that's going to help either because that's already ruined. And Bravo has already been like, that sucks. So for them to come back and be like, oh, no, they don't suck anymore. I think they should just start over. They should just get crazier people, making the whole like we're going to do it for a new generation. And it's just all going to be influencers and models who aren't going to talk about anything. No, that's not what Real Housewives is. Real Housewives is crazy older ladies.

Going through midlife crises and changing everything and living their star moment finally. It's not little kids going to auditions because all these people are auditioning or they're on social auditioning. We don't need that. We need really crazy, normal people. Get those. They're still in New York. I go there all the time. There's plenty of crazy-ass rich people there.

Although let us never discount the fact that there was a scene once where Ramona brought Avery to an audition. She wanted to audition to be in a Meryl Streep movie. Okay. So you know what? I really resent that you just erased Avery's path. Okay.

Well, you know what? The past is the past. I salute her and her brilliant acting career, how it's turned out. But we just don't need to rehash. You know, I don't need to see Ramona magging all over the, you know, Trump golden banisters of the Trump Tower, sitting all over the floor while Luann's wasted talking about cabaret. I don't need that anymore. That ferry has sailed by me. OK, but still bring but do something different.

At the very least, bring some nutbags from the Upper East Side for us to watch. Exactly. I don't need any of this Soho, you know, I want to impress Gwyneth bullshit. Get the fuck out of here with that. I met Gwyneth at a party once. What a bitch. You know what? I said, I knew your mother. She was a bitch too. Like someone who doesn't give a fuck. That's what I need.

Yeah, just deluded rich bitches. That's what we need. Yes, come on, guys. You can do this. I believe in you. I don't. But you know what? I'm begging you at this point. Make me believe in you again. Anyway, this has been fun. And we'll be back here next week. Thanks for everybody who's watching this video on our Patreon. If you want to, come to Patreon. Also, Crappy Hour is coming up next Monday night. That's our live show.

where we talk about all the Bravo Goss. It's on YouTube Live, Patreon, and we stream it over to Instagram as well. So join us for that Monday, 5.30 Pacific. And we'll talk to you tomorrow with some Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

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