cover of episode #2613 RHOSLC S05E08: Todd Forbid!

#2613 RHOSLC S05E08: Todd Forbid!

2024/11/7
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B
Ben Mandelker
R
Ronnie Karam
Topics
Ben Mandelker:本集主要围绕着棕榈泉之旅展开,重点是Heather被Bronwyn排除在外,以及由此引发的冲突和各种关系的复杂性。Bronwyn作为新成员,直接掌控旅行安排,引发了其他人的不满,特别是Ben对Bronwyn的不信任感。此外,节目中还穿插了其他一些支线剧情,例如Ben没有被邀请参加Bar Mitzvah,以及其他几位女士在争吵中使用孩子作为武器等。 Ronnie Karam:Ronnie对Bronwyn的第一季表现印象深刻,即使她之后变成反派也觉得有趣。他喜欢挑战那些对服务人员态度恶劣的有钱女人,并对Todd和Bronwyn的关系表达了担忧,认为Todd对Bronwyn的态度令人不舒服,Bronwyn则总是小心翼翼地对待Todd。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Heather storm out of Bronwyn's house?

Heather felt that Bronwyn was demanding an insincere apology and couldn't articulate what specifically upset her, leading to a tense conversation that ended with Heather leaving abruptly.

How did Lisa react to Bronwyn's concerns about Whitney and Justin attending the trip?

Lisa was initially frustrated by Bronwyn's considerate question about whether it would be okay for Whitney and Justin to be there, given past issues, and took it as an imposition rather than a thoughtful gesture.

What was Todd's reaction to the drama during the trip?

Todd expressed his discomfort with the ongoing drama and tension among the group, stating that he didn't want to spend the weekend dealing with conflicts and threatened to have people leave if the situation didn't improve.

How did Bronwyn feel about Lisa calling Heather during the trip?

Bronwyn was furious that Lisa called Heather to express how much they missed her, feeling it was a direct slight against her as the host and a betrayal of their friendship.

What did Todd suggest as a solution to the escalating tension?

Todd suggested that either he leaves the trip or the problematic individuals, specifically Lisa and John, should leave, making it clear that he won't tolerate the drama.

Chapters
The episode begins with the hosts discussing the tension between Lisa and Heather, leading to questions about whether Todd will allow the Barlows to stay on the trip.
  • Lisa and Heather's tension flares up during a FaceTime call.
  • Todd's reaction to the drama is a focal point.
  • The hosts speculate on the dynamics of the couples' trip.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
中文

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Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is just the most wonderful person I can imagine. I would invite him to Palm Springs even if we had a beef. It's Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. Well, aren't you a little sweet tart? Oh, wait, hold on one second. This just in.

Todd requests that you leave. I'm so sorry, Ronnie. I'm giving you $20 and a plane ticket. Get the hell out of my house. He really did become Captain Lee. You got a one-way plane ticket home. Get out of here. Talking, of course, about Salt Lake City. We are recapping it today. So good. Let's see. The typical things. Join us on Patreon.

And we have our videos up there, bonus episodes. This week for a bonus episode, by the way, this was a fun one. We did a trailer trash of the new show coming to Bravo in like less than a month, sold on SLC. This is Bravo's new real estate show featuring Lisa Barlow. And

Honestly, we saw that trailer. I had never seen the trailer before, and we laughed our asses off. The show looks so good. So this has been hot Utah fall. And we started with Mormon Wives. We're here with Real Housewives of SLC. We're going to continue on with Sold on SLC. So go check out that bonus episode. It's on patreon.com slash watch for crabbins.

We have simplified Patreon. It's monthly now. It's much easier to just go on without any kind of drama. Go do it. You're going to love it. You will love it. Okay. Yeah. And if you have any issues, just email us. Watch what happens at gmail.com. Yeah. Do that. Yeah.

So, anywho, let's get on with our sweet, sweet Salt Lake City situation, shall we? Let's get on with it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It sounded like a monkey on a roller coaster today. I don't know what they're doing with all those ha's. I need like a nice melodic ha. It's like you put the choir on a roller coaster that goes over a bumpy road. They're just like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Tonky B. I love that. The lady from Chip Crazy shows up. You know, back in like 1995, Tonky B did a film with Alan Cummings where they went down a roller coaster. He was a great chimp on a coaster. That was actually the name of the film. It was called Chimp on a Coaster. Great work. Yeah.

Chimp on a coaster. Yeah, so this week, you know, as we've seen, Bronwyn has become very quickly a fan favorite. I still don't trust her myself, but, you know, I'm a less trusting human being. It takes me a little bit of time. I'm a pound puppy. It's going to take me a minute. But I do like her very much. I just don't like rich people coming in and then start bossing everybody around because they're rich.

if that makes any sense. What else is a rich person supposed to do? Well, I don't know. Go buy things. It's part of their thing. They should go buy things, is what I say. Okay, fine.

Yeah, so you distrust Bronwyn. I am fully on board the Bronwyn train. I'm really enjoying her. I think she's having a great first season. And if, by the way, your distrust proves to be true and she winds up being, you know, a monster, then Godspeed. Like, I love that. I love a monster turn.

I hope she becomes a monster because I really love like a snotty lady monster because I was a waiter for a very long time, my whole life pretty much. And, you know, you come across these types all the time and it was really fun to try and win them over.

Also, I grew up with this type of woman, you know, the country club lady and stuff. Yeah. So I love to try to turn a snotty, hateful, mean lady who's mean to service people. I'm not saying she is any of those things, but she seems difficult. I'm just going to say that. She seems difficult and somewhat humorless. So I'm waiting. I agree. She seems difficult. She seems difficult to me.

To hate. Because I love her. I think she's great. That's good. I love that she... I love how she sees red. Like, I love how it's all over her face. You can see she can't even keep it in. It has to explode out of her. I love how she has a look on her face like, this is supreme injustice at this moment, and I must fix it. And I just... I thought she had a great episode.

She had a pretty good one. I'm just, you know, I'm wary of a newbie coming in and immediately controlling trips and saying who can and can't come. And now you're kicked out because you disrespected me. I'm like, excuse you. You just got here. And I know that you're richer than everybody else, but like you literally just got off the plane. And we already saw how kind of energy-less this episode got for a bit. Yeah.

without Miss Heather Gay there stirring her gigantic pot of bullshit that she's usually making everybody fight. There was a moment where I was like, oh God, they're going to really sit in this hot tub and just stare at each other. And then they just kept saying things like, well, we're breaking the ice.

who were breaking the ice. You guys have known each other for how long? You shouldn't be breaking the ice. Why is it so special? That's because there was so much tension. It was great. I thought it was, I was like, ooh. To me, that was great. I was like, these women have, they hate each other and they're trying to make nice, but they can't. They're in a hot tub and they're just, oh my goodness. It was bubbling over, quite literally, literally bubbling over. All right, well, let's get into it.

So we open into the knits grits. Yeah, we're at the still well spa and Meredith is back on the show after a one episode hiatus and Lisa and Meredith arrived is still well spa and you know, Lisa's like, oh my god, you're like so pretty. I'm like so casual. Meanwhile, Lisa is wearing like a Yeti on her back. She's like, oh my god, look at me just in my sweats.

You know what? I'm just in a tie-dyed mink. So sorry. It's just so casual. I love that. She's got like 20 IKEA fur rugs on at the same time. Just do this one together. So then we find out that Heather will be...

Meeting them because, flashback to a few minutes ago, in the car, Lisa's talking to her on the phone. And Heather's like, have you talked to Bronwyn about this couple's trip that she planned? Because Bronwyn invited me over to her house, and I stormed out of her house, Lisa. I stormed right out. What? I don't know where to spot to meet Meredith. Come up here. I want to hear. I wrote back. This is so weird. This is weird. So they...

Oh, she calls it still water, but the sign says still well. She's like, you know what? I feel more comfortable in a place that attracts mosquitoes. So stupid. Any way to lose a little weight, am I right? So Lisa and Meredith are not getting massages. And Lisa's like, I like love getting massages. Which, you know, is...

I like that Lisa says things that she sounds like she's being super original. She just uses an inflection, but she's not really. Like most of her testimonials, she's like rolling her head around, but she doesn't really say anything snappy, you know? Yeah. I like that about her. She's just got the zhuzh to pull it off. She's got the zhuzh. The je ne sais quoi.

So after the massages, they go out to this balcony and Merith is like, "Well, Lisa, I'm trying to get my whole family in for the bat mitzvah!" And she's like, "Yah! You need you! Who would we bring in? Myra!" And she's like, "Yeah, yeah, Myra." I'm like, "I don't know who Myra is." But the funny thing is-- That's your sister now.

Oh, is it? I just forgot the sister's name. We met Myra. Remember the family lemon cutting scene? Well, of course I'm going to bring Myra. I mean, we're going to do the ceremonial cutting of the lemon where all of our families put our hands on the same lemon and cut it. That's when you really know you're a man or a woman. You know what's funny is that my whole family is in Salt Lake City right now for...

bar mitzvah that I wasn't invited to. For someone named Myra? It was not Myra. Why? If my family is at Meredith Marks' bar mitzvah right now, I will be furious. Oh,

Oh, I thought this was going to have to do with the Myra, because we said Myra, and then you're like, speaking of. And I was like, oh my God, you've got a Myra story? Yeah, I want to hear a Myra story. I feel like I don't hear a lot of Myra stories, you know? I know. The point of this story is that I basically am living this show right now, because the Mandelkers are an SLC for a bar mitzvah. So you're welcome, America. And you weren't invited. So that's...

Not a crazy news story. It's Ben. That's Ben's constant story, not being invited to bar mitzvahs. Why weren't you invited? Was it no children allowed? Oh, it's totally fine. It's totally fine. It's like...

It's like a weird – there's no ill will. It's just like one of these things where my parents have a relationship with – it's hard to describe, but it's fine. It's a rare situation where being not invited makes total sense, if it's hard to describe, but it just does. Well, fuck those people. That's what I say. Congrats. Yeah.

Fuck that 13-year-old, whoever it is. Fuck you, Myra. And also congratulations on being a man. Congrats on becoming a man, Myra. Wait a second. I'm the Heather Gay. I'm the Heather Gay in this situation. I just realized.

Well, are you like her where you're just chronically lying about why you weren't invited to her? I have no idea. Lisa, I swear I have no idea why she would be so upset with me. I just went to her home to just compliment her coasters. It's horrifying. Oh, it's horrifying, Lisa. Absolutely. Am I horrified that I have to sing for my supper?

No, but it is very fun. And I hope everyone has a great time. So anyway, Heather now shows up.

She's like, what is happening? Did anything horrifying happen in this spa? I'm like, well, guess what I am doing? You are taking Brooksy to a Mommy and Me screening of Venom. No, I mean, right now I'm in the process of... Bentos? It's bentos. Is it bentos and tequila? I've always wanted to ask you, what's your formula? What is it?

No, I'm getting Bat Mitzvahed. And Heather's like, you are personally? That's amazing. Now, what is a Bat Mitzvah, by the way? So it's a robot blessing? Is that what we're doing? I love that. I love that for you. I am getting Bat Mitzvahed, and I never did it. And Heather's like, shh.

I know, isn't it amazing? Yes, I'm doing it, and I'm super, super excited. Judaism sounds so fun. It's a religion that hasn't ousted me yet. So part of me wants to sit at their table, but the other part of me wants to... Are you just not paying attention to me, Judaism? Don't you want to kick me out? I've got a third book in me. I feel it coming. A third book. So Meredith is like... Heather's like...

By Mormon gay. By Heather gay. So Heather's like, well, I just, I don't want to get left out, which is my subtle way of transitioning from your very exciting announcement to my beef. And Meredith's like, well, of course you're not going to be left out. That's why I'm telling you. She's like, okay. Because it seems to be, okay, I don't think you heard what I was trying to say. I know this is actually a very important and symbolic thing for you, Meredith, but

Currently, I'm being disinvited from a Palm Springs trip, so I think that's going to take precedence over this discussion. Okay. But of course I'm getting the bat mitzvah. Of course I am. And you're going to be right there is all I'm trying to say. Okay. So let's put it this way. I was basically a 13-year-old in a bat mitzvah ceremony that was kicked out by a rich person. Who would do that? Bronwyn. Bronwyn did it.

Okay, so we're just gonna move past the fact that this is an important symbolic ceremony for me that was a void in my life that I'm finally filling in. And anyway, like I said, so I went to Bronwyn's house. First of all, poop on the floors. Am I right, everyone? Ugh, disgusting. And then she was like, you don't get to come onto this trip unless you grovel for it. I'm like, disgusting. Horrifying.

I just wanted, I just assumed because she wanted to make up and move forward. But I mean, it was basically to tell me I'm a shitty person. And Lisa's like, well, yeah, but like, she doesn't even really know you. Like, she doesn't even know how shitty you are. Because like, she really could have done worse, let's be honest.

Basically, she told me I had to, you know, she didn't know if she was going to include me in a group trip. I mean, she brought up a lot of weird stuff. She was apologizing to me, which I never heard her say she was sorry. But then I was confused about why she was even apologizing. And then she was like, now, would you like to apologize to me? And I was like, what? I mean, she was just all over the place, mincing words, getting mad for asking if she had a prenup. I mean, what?

Heather, you are so full of shit. Do you think this is not on television? She was very specific with what she wanted an apology for. And you're just acting like, what? It's by trying to villainize her, her first five minutes on the show because she had the nerve to go up against...

fucking Britney. The nerds will be shady for one moment. And the truth is this. Lisa is saying, like, but she doesn't even know you, Heather. And the point is this, that Heather doesn't even know Bronwyn. So the fact that Heather starts going around telling people, and Heather is a big dog on the show, telling people, Bronwyn is like two-faced. She's shitty because she was talking shit behind Whitney's back, which she was being shady, but it was not like full-fledged shit the way a lot of the other people on this cast do. So I think Bronwyn is totally entitled to be like,

you should apologize because, yeah, I don't know you, but you don't know me, but you're still going around telling people that I'm duplicitous, and that's bullshit.

Yeah. So Heather's just like, she was insane. We should 50-150 her. And Lisa's like, well, that makes... Lisa's like, that makes me so sad. Like, I want you to come on the trip with us. What are we going to do if you're not on the trip? We've had so many good trips. Remember that trip when you just blew me off? Remember that other trip when you told everybody I was giving blowjobs? Oh, I guess that was wet me. That was wet me, but you didn't really help much on that trip. What else? Mm-hmm.

And Heather's like, well, you know what? What's your version of your friendship with her? Because when I got there, she told me she had FaceTimed you and to make sure that everything was cool so that you could come on the trip too. So Lisa, notably Lisa isn't like, I've known Bronwyn for all these years. She is awesome. She's wonderful. I think you're getting the wrong impression. Lisa goes, well, I got off the call and I was like, very, very tired because like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like so mad. It's not like what, you know, not what, what she said.

Well, first of all, she wasn't irritated. She was very frustrated, okay? Because that's how Lisa gets. I'm frustrated. I'm just so frustrated about it. No, I like that as I was trying to say what she said, I got so into my Lisa Barlow impersonation that I actually clogged up all the words coming out of my mouth. I was like, oh, fuck. You literally got frustrated. Which is actually the most authentic Lisa Barlow impersonation you can have.

So she's just like, it's not what she said. It's the way she said it. She's like, are John and Justin going to be okay? I just want to make sure they're going to be okay. And I'm like, my husband is the CEO of a company that my child runs. And like, he's going to be fine.

Have you ever heard of Fina Tequila? That's right. That's my man. Okay, that's my man. And then, like, you know, she's like, you know, are you basically saying you and John created a problem? I mean, listen, I'm not going to defend my character, my husband's character on this phone call. And then when I got up, I was, like, so upset. I was, like, so upset. Like, Whitney's lying about me. And then she's not even like, hey, that sucks for you. Like, I'm sorry you were crying. I'm so sorry you were upset, yo. And...

But by the way, when they showed the evidence of this, it was so funny because Lisa's making it sound like she's like, now listen here, your husband's a real runaway train, Lisa Barlow. Everyone's terrified of him and I don't want him beating up anybody at my house. And if he is going to beat anybody up, he better go to whatever cracker farm.

cracker factory that they baked him in at the first place because my husband is rich and we are not going to let that... If she didn't do that, they show the flashback and she's like, okay, but I'm also inviting Whitney. Is that okay with you? Because I know there was some drama. Your husband got into a physical altercation, ma'am. The lady is allowed to ask.

Yeah, Lisa makes it sound like Bronwyn was saying, like, they'd better be okay together because this is my trip. But when you see it, Bronwyn's like, hey, is that going to be okay that Whitney and Justin are going to be there? Because I know there was an issue in the past. It was actually a thoughtful call and it was considerate. And Lisa took it as like, why would she even do that? Why would she put me in a position like that? And by the way,

That's actually a semi-fair question. But why not ask it? Why not say at that moment, it's fine, but I don't love that you put me in this position. We'll be fine because we're mature. But instead, in that moment, Lisa's like, oh yeah, we're totally fine. Everything's fine. But then it actually turns out she's resentful of it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash wondery. That's rocketmoney.com slash wondery. rocketmoney.com slash wondery. So how does Meredith feel? She's like, well, I'll tell you this much. Baruhata anoi.

She's like, why are you smashing a glass? I don't even think they do that at bar mitzvahs. Well, we'll see. I might be changing the rules. It's been a while. It's been about 11 faces since I was even old enough to have a bar mitzvah. But you know what? Make your own rules. I'm Isaac.

You know, it's like really confusing because I was accused of being behind all these rumors and nastiness last year. And then we see rumors and you want to go there with your husband? So she's like, which by the way, Meredith just fully pivots out of this entire topic into her own topic because she's like,

How do you feel about this situation with Bronwyn and Heather? And she was like, well, I was accused of, you know, here's something that Sean did. It has nothing to do with what we were just talking about, but I'm going to make it sound like it's very relevant. Yeah, I was wondering how that was. That was a Meredith driving kind of a moment. You know, that was a snowbank, like straight into a snowbank moment. So I was like, Sean went on to a pun.

He said that Bruxy, he was talking about Bruxy, saying that I'm basically using Bruxy as a pawn to deflect from my own behavior. Wow! Let me tell you this. Bruxy was so upset, he started bleeding out of his eyes. Sean basically almost killed my child. Oh!

Why would you ever invoke the name of a sweet toddler who can barely even design his own tracksuits himself? Come on. Now, by the way, this brings us to three ladies on this cast that are accusing other people of

uh using their children as uh as collateral damage in their fights because now we have electra henry and uh brooksie we're just using children as human shields that's just what that's things have gotten really rough and tumble in 2024 now you know we're just like you know what

Use your children. If you're looking around for a weapon and you don't have anything, use your children, okay? Grab them by the ankles, swing them around the room until they knock someone in the head. You know what I mean? Why else did we have those little fuckers? Well, I pulled Sean aside at his mafia sort of party thing, and he, Sean, a flashback. So then we got married saying, Sean. It was hurtful to me.

to my husband and all the toddlers out there when you use my son and said I was playing him as a pawn when in fact I was actually playing a Fisher-Price xylophone for him a totally different thing okay and I didn't even do you know I don't like what you said about it and so I was like you know what hurt my feelings

It really hurt me that I have a poster of your face in my bedroom that doesn't have your signature on it. Let's make a change. So he's basically like, that's how I felt. So what about that? Here's how I felt. Who had Sean on a podcast? Why haven't I heard clips of this? I want to hear Sean on a podcast. He's so cute. I saw him at BravoCon and I was like, ba-bam. That guy's awesome.

A hundred times even hotter than he is on TV. He does dress extremely effeminately. And I loved every second of it. I thought he looked amazing. He was carrying like Louis Vuitton bags and like had big gold sunglasses. His face was like so fucking tanned and like slick and like waxed and brushed. And I mean, I've just never seen grooming like that. I mean, I, the old Navy thing started playing in my head to show me what a fucking loser I am as this man passed. I mean, I was like, wow, I was, I became a,

I just felt like I was at a NASCAR race in a bikini at that point. When I saw him, I was like, who even am I? I have no class. This guy's amazing. I don't even know how he talks in more than a sentence at a time. I want to hear this podcast. And what did he accuse Brooks of? Like, I need to know. Yeah.

So Meredith is like, so back to present. Not once, not once was it I should not have talked about your son. And I am sorry. I mean, toddlers hear things. And Lisa's like, I would be hurt by that. I would be really, really hurt by someone saying that. I'm like, can we...

Can we bring in the flashback of Lisa literally saying two weeks ago, oh, every time I talk to you, you're always like, oh, sorry. God, I'm talking to Elektra instead. Y'all be so hurt if someone uses their child as a pawn.

So Meredith is like, well, I was just blown away. She does that thing where she throws up her hands and just like, what? I mean, what kind of world do we even live in anymore where we can hurt children like this? And Meredith tells us, why would you bring Brooks into this mess? He has absolutely nothing to do with Brooks. Ow, ow, ow, Brooks. Are you done yet? Have you had enough to eat yet, Brooks? Please go.

Like, leave the poor child alone. He's a toddler. So Heather's like, well, so it's a great time for you two to get onto a private plane. Well, my only hope is that this private plane is a little roomier than the macaroni and cheese I put on a fork and put into Brooks' mouth. You know, the old, here comes the plane. You know what I'm saying? Well,

Maybe I'll go commercial. Speaking of, Frosty Frosty, who loves Frosty? Lisa. Lisa. All right. Don't go that commercial, please. Yeah, I understand you have a partnership with Wendy's, but you apparently don't have a partnership with Gray Worldwide Advertising Agency. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and finish this scene with my line, which is, quick little jaunt to Palm Springs.

Sounds like it might be more of a living hell. Which is where unbought mitzvah ladies go to. So then we go to Bronwyn's house and she's packing. And Bronwyn is FaceTiming with Todd and she's like, Hey Todd, how's Korea? He's like, aww.

It's very good. I had some good meetings last yesterday. And even though I'm in Korea, there's a Japanese restaurant in the hotel. She's like, I haven't had the heart to break it to Todd that he's been upstairs in the bedroom this entire time. Just pretend it's Korea. Korea's fought by the war. I mean, shoot, you'd never even know the way people are carrying on here. These are strong people.

Hey, they got the same dogs here as they do at home. Oh, God. Did I left Bella up there? They sit everywhere here, too. And I like that he said, I went to a restaurant. She says, of course you did, Todd. Of course you did. Good idea.

Is that like something crazy that Todd does? Goes and gets sushi when he's in Korea. So she goes, of course you did. Now are you ready to fly back here? All the ways you can fly to Bumspring to the city. She's always talking like the nurse. And he's just always, you know, she's just like, please don't fly off the handle. Don't throw a bedpan at me today, Mr. Todd. Oh, Todd!

So he's like, of course I'm ready for Saturday. I have to go with

And she's like, and we find out that Mary will not be coming because she could be spending the weekend with her son. And then she goes, and I told you, you know, Heather came over and it didn't go well. So I didn't obviously extend an invitation. She was storming at the house. So she's not coming. So I'm really hoping it goes well, Todd, at this point, he goes, well, we talked about this before, but,

I really don't want to have a weekend of drama with these people. I was like, whoa. These people. These reality show people. I was like, ooh, I love that Todd has a salty side there.

Yeah, he showed it with his whole, I don't want to talk about this anymore, last week with Gwen when he shut that down. You know, look, I get it. He's older and stuff, and he's probably sick of all this housewife nonsense. You're on a housewife show. I don't care how rich you are. You're on a housewife show, and you shouldn't be talking to your wife like this. I really don't. Right here, it's not so bad, but he gets pretty—it's getting uncomfortable later, and I don't like it.

There, I said it. And Bronwyn, I don't like how Bronwyn's always walking on eggshells around him. I don't like when he talks to her in a raised tone or a harsh tone, and she's looking down like she's really nervous. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it. I don't trust Todd. There, I said it. I think Todd's a dick, and I think that Bronwyn is kind of here to do the lily pad thing of jumping away from her husband and still getting some money afterwards because this guy really is not great.

I just see this guy. I feel like he presents like he's just this sweet older man, but he ran a major company. When you are a CEO...

You have to be a dick. Like people, CEOs are all dicks. Like to get to ascend in corporate America and to the world of finance and all that stuff, you're going to be a dick. And to me, it was funny because like the dick side came out when he said all these people. I thought it was funny because he's like, I fucking hate all these people. Like go on this show, fine, have fun. But I don't want to be, I don't want to hang out with your trash friends.

The dick side to me is fine for the other people. Where it's not fine is to his wife. I don't like it. And I don't like the way that she reacts to it. It doesn't seem like it rolls right off of her back. Like later in the episode, it seems to bother her. It seems to embarrass her. I feel like he's embarrassing her on national TV. I mean, sorry to take all the fun out of it. Because I know that's kind of what I'm doing. I honestly don't remember...

him being mean to Bronwyn in this episode. We'll see when we get to the scenes, but I just don't remember. My memory was him being like,

I don't like that this lady is arguing with you, and I don't want to deal with this on our anniversary weekend, so you guys have to get the fuck together or not. But I'm not saying that that's the way it was. Yeah, we're going to see in the notes. Neither one of us really knows. We're coming from limited information, but red flags are waving for me. It's been like 12 hours since we've seen this, so it's basically a fog. I don't even remember what happened. But I'm not saying you're wrong. My memory of it was not that that happened.

Okay, so let's see here. So she's like, well, I'm not going to make this trip about them, okay? It's about you and I, right, Todd? It's about us. This really means so much to me that we're doing this. I mean, we're going to go spend, us who've been together for so long, we've come through so much, and we're going to go spend time with people that we don't know in a place that really doesn't matter or hold any specific meaning to any of them. Let's do that. We'll see, I guess, as the wise man said. She's like, well,

The wise man never said that, but that's okay. Actually, they said, do you have a room with a bathtub? No. It was a barn, unfortunately, so they were upset. I know, I was there. Just the wise man. Fuck them. That's what I say. That's my boy. That's my Todd. Also, by the way, I can imagine he's probably a little cranky about this because this was their anniversary weekend, and she's like, do you mind if we...

make this like a reality show um backdrop and you know he's like i don't want to have our like special weekend turned into like a chaotic reality show and she's like no i promise there'll be no drama like you know there was that conversation i was like okay i'm gonna do this because i love you but like i really don't want a lot of bullshit around this was supposed to be like our time so i can already imagine why he's like a little spicy about this

Well, then don't stop to be on the TV show, you fucking weirdo. So then about women getting snappy with each other. Now you listen here. Now you women better not get snappy with each other on the women getting snappy on each other's show.

So now we go to Angie and Sean packing and Sean's like, well, I'm assuming that we can pack pretty late. It's going to be pretty warm, huh, Ang? And she's like, oh my God, private jet. It can't weigh too much. So I guess I won't bring this giant tub of tzatziki. I am Greek.

I love that Sean's like, we're packing like, Sean, you'd be wearing a net t-shirt no matter what state you were in or what time of the year it was. And I wish he would, by the way, I was really, when they all started swimming later on, I was like, ah, finally we can see Sean shirtless. And then they just show him like neck up in the water. And I was like,

Why? Come on, bro. It's like keeping art behind a sheet. Why do you do that? I don't understand why people do that. They're like, you know what? It gets hurt when it's exposed to the elements. Who cares? That's what it's for. It's made for my eyes. Uncover it.

We'll let the camera linger on Todd, but then when it comes to Sean, like, oh, it's like nose up. Oh, Todd, we get a full fucking Sean Cody video over it. I've got Todd walking around with his perky little breasts. Like, that's fine, but I don't get to see fucking Sean. Give me my meat. Sean, who's like V-shaped shirts have been teasing us for a year and a half. Come on, Bravo. Yeah.

Seriously. So then, um, and he's like, I've got a fancy dinner outfit. I've got shoes. I've got a little package come just in for the trip. It is these fancy shoes. And he's like, ah, I didn't see that one hit the MX yet. Great. This is great. Can I borrow those?

Can you believe we're going on a couple's trip? I think it's gonna be fun sleeping in a bed where we're actually so close that we can almost feel each other. He's like, yeah. Hey, so what's your dynamic with Lisa right now? Oh, our friendship is not what it was and I don't know how we'll get back to that. And it's like, I've let her kind of get away with being kind of mean to me at times. You've let her get away with a lot, a lot, a lot. She's my con.

So then we go to Whitney and Justin and they're packing too, obviously. It's a packing segment. And Whitney's like, what do you think it's going to be like with you and... And who? What? Me and who? What do you mean? Well, me and John are going to be fine. Oh, that's good. Why are you bringing that up? Is Trixie going to be there? No, that was last year. Oh. And that wasn't even Trixie. That was a stand-in for Trixie.

What? Oh, no, this year. This year was the stand-in for Trixie. She's like, we are going to Trixie's bar. Trixie's not going to be there. I don't think. But then Trixie was there. I'm so confused. Prism Collection.

So John is like, he's like, yeah. He's like, well, I mean, you know, I mean, Justin's like, oh, the only thing is that's kind of lingering. He was like, would I be willing to give Lisa an apology? No, no. She owes you an apology. And. And. No. Oh, okay. Okay, what? So then we go to Lisa and John packing. And Lisa's like, are you ready for the drive?

And he's like, looks like you are with all of these sunglasses. And then we see Lisa on the ground with like 10 wall-sized sunglasses holders. She's got like hundreds of pairs of sunglasses just lying around on the ground. It literally looked like in Game of Thrones when they went to like the house of the faces and they have all these walls with all these faces that they can choose from. It's like that, except with sunglasses. Except they're all Lisa Barlow. Every single face is like, I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. A man needs sunglasses. It's like Dracarys. Dracarys, please. I can't take anymore. I love Dracarys. I love that. Can I flame?

So she's like, should I bring this? And then he's like, maybe I'll bring these swim trunks. He goes, John Barlow, I'm going to threaten to divorce you for the millionth time. Ha ha ha ha. He's like, so are you excited? She's like, yeah, probably not so much. Like things are like not great with Anji. And like after the way I like left things with Whitney after the mob party, you know, I really don't want to hang out with her.

And you know what? Justin owes me an apology too while we're at it. He's like, well, he essentially said he's going to think about it, but I'm not going to force him even though I'm in my forceful era. Wow, look at you being so forceful. It's like, yeah. The other day I saw a dog on a lawn, so I flopped myself onto the ground and rolled down to the sidewalk and the dog didn't really move, but it felt strong for doing that. He licks me really hard. I felt powerful. I felt like a man. Yeah.

There's nothing like dog licks all over your face to make you feel powerful. Then I got a newspaper thrown at my head. That kind of hurt. Okay, John, stop talking now. And then I got off the lawn because I was like, actually, maybe the dog should be on the lawn. Maybe I should be the one not on the lawn.

"Oh my God, I think this trip is gonna be under-signed. Like, we're gonna have a good time. I just don't want to get frustrated." And he's like, "How was your lunch?" And she's like, "It was good. It was emotional, which I hate. I hate emotions." And then we see Lisa at lunch with her sister being like, "Oh my God, I feel so sorry for Henry. Everybody hates him. Like, Henry's so unpopular. It's terrible. The other night I was watching the presidential polls come in and Henry got the lowest votes.

Wait a minute. Henry was running for president? No, but people still wrote him in as someone they didn't want to vote for. Can you believe Jill Stein did better than Henry? I'm so sad. I'm trying to get him in to be a Russian asset so at least he could get some kind of groundwork going. But even Putin won't take him. Oh!

I don't second guess myself a lot but like one thing I dissect a lot is how I'm like a mom it's really important for me to dissect how I am as a mom

Didn't she just say this last week too? Because didn't you make a joke how she put her motherhood on a table and opened it up? Like, what? I'm really going to dissect this. And having a friend call me a bad mom magnifies everything like a million times more. Like, I think it's like the meanest thing you can say to me. Okay, Dark Crystal. Hey, wait a minute. That was the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me. I just wanted to make the other thing hurt less. God, John.

um she's like i don't know what better huh oh my god you're doing that again that was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me here comes one right now

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Now everyone's arriving at the private plane, except for Heather and Brittany and Mary. And they're all showing up. They're getting on the plane. Everyone's so excited. I think, is this the first private plane they've been on on this show? I could be wrong, but I don't seem to remember any other private planes. I think this is a very exciting moment.

Yeah, they're excited. And so Bronwyn's like, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Bronwyn Air Flight 323 with their husbands. I mean, to Palm Springs, California. I'm sorry, my eyes skipped to a different part of these no's. Please make sure all of your luxury carry-ons are safely. She kind of goes on and I just have to note here. Yeah, I just have to note here.

I didn't laugh. Sorry. It's really bothering me because I really like her. There's just something missing and I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I'm sorry. I'm just saying. I was amused and they sit down and then Seth and Meredith are in like a little nook and Seth is like, oh, excuse me, flight attendant. Is this a dry flight or a wet flight? And she's like, are you drinking at seven in the morning? What is wrong with you? Yeah.

So then, now they're landing and deplaning and all that stuff. And we get two cars. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Meredith and Lisa in car two. Angie, Whitney, and Bronwyn are in car one with their husbands. So Angie's like, it is dangerous right now between the husbands in this group. Mine is extremely scary. He's already waxed up his face and taken off his earrings and he is ready to rumble.

And then Justin's like, well, I'm not stepping towards you. Okay, don't step at me because I'm Greek and I'll step back. Well, more like I'll do like a little dance and then break a plate on your head, which is big and plate break worthy. You don't want to see me do a grapevine with my arms upstretched in the air.

Then Seth and the other one, Seth's like, "I've been so out to lunch and like Meredith told me that there's an altercation with you and Justin." And John's like, "Yeah, like Lisa came over as Lisa does." And she was like, "How do you deal with your wife? She's a fucking liar." And in the past, we've always had this thing, like kind of an understanding from the beginning that we just don't listen to the women. That's like the Mormon thing to do, right?

And Seth's like, a pact. We've had a brotherhood. Stay out of our wives' business. Got it back to balance? Got it back to balance? Look, here's what the husbands are here to do. Compliment our wives' friends' breasts. That's what we're here to do. All right? Everything else is just like, why are we even paying attention to this? We've got penises. What's going on?

And if someone has a cake that sort of portrays said breasts, your obligation is to motorboat that cake and then maybe lick it gently. So wait, well, maybe it's balanced now. It's not balanced for me. It's not balanced for me. And Seth is like, okay, well, maybe it's not balanced. Here's what are balanced. Whitney's breasts. Can we all get an amen? Thank you.

I saw Justin and Whitney and I like went like this. And I like gave my middle finger and then I got blew a kiss. And I'm like, your wife's a liar and you're lying for her. Okay. And like, I get that Bronwyn invited them, but it's awkward. And Heather reminded me that I should be mad that Bronwyn invited them. So now I'm mad at Bronwyn too.

That's just so awkward! So then we go back to car one and Bronwyn's like, well, it was kind of weird on the plane because I was talking to Lisa and Meredith and we were talking about Heather and I's conversation. And I was like, oh my God, it's been five minutes and already Bronwyn is offended greatly at something. Let's see what it is. So we flash back to 30 minutes earlier.

And Lisa's like, what happened with Heather? And she's like, well, I had Heather over, and I tried to talk things out with her, and it just didn't go well. Did she shit the floor? No. But there is a lot of shit on the floor. We're working on that. We're working on that. Mm-hmm.

You guys didn't get anywhere. You guys didn't get anywhere. No, Heather left upset in the middle of the conversation. Well, I'm shocked because I didn't think anything was that deep. You know, she goes, well, I don't know. I started out by saying to her, I want to understand what I've done that's upset you so much. And she was like, so you want me to give an insincere apology? And I was like, no, I'll give you a sincere apology if I just understand what it is that you're upset about. And she really couldn't tell me what she was upset about.

Well, when Heather's your friend, she's really your friend. And when she's not your friend, she's showing up at your doorway, lifting up her shirt and putting her breasts up against the glass like a good time girl. And honestly, it's less embarrassing for all involved if you're just friends with her. Just make up with Heather. Trust me. You don't want to get that thumbs up emoji.

So, Sibron's like, yeah. Wasn't Heather the one who complained about the thumbs up emoji? Wasn't she the one who was like, Lisa, and then you sent me a thumbs up emoji, and we all know that's calling someone a bitch. Yes. Yes, she was. Sibron, classic. That's a big dog code for bitch. That's right, Heather. I mean, whether, you know, people right now are, the internet is,

A lot of the internet right now is saying, you know, Heather's having a bad season and she's a villain. I really don't think she's having a bad season. I think this is Heather every season. And I think she's really showing how much this show needs her. She's just such a little fucking troublemaker. And she really does bring so much energy to it.

i think she's having a bad season uh well actually it's not bad she's having a villain season she's not having a bad season just a villain season um and she yes she does this every season but like she what she also does is she manages to do this while also not being a villain in the process but now she's looking like a villain so she's i love it i love that she's having her villain villain era and people are finally standing up to her and she literally doesn't understand what's happening it's so funny looking at the confusion in her eyes she's so confused

So then Bronwyn's like, well, if you, well, Lisa says there's two sides to the story and that their stories are completely different from each other. And Bronwyn might be 180 from me too right now. So then Bronwyn's like, well, if you agree with Heather, then that you think that I'm too face and bitchy and Todd's too stupid to realize I'm a gold digger, then why the fuck are you here?

But I don't think that Heather's comment about the prenup was... I don't think that's the bigger offense here. I think the bigger offense is that Heather's accusing Bronwyn of talking shit and should be untrustworthy. And Heather immediately threw Bronwyn under the bus as soon as she could as almost like a hazing of the newbie. And I think that's where it's shitty. I think the prenup thing is weak. I think that's not a strong case for Bronwyn.

So then we go, now we arrive at this branch. Yeah, I mean, she's got some defensiveness, I think, about being married to an extremely old person. But you're married to an extremely old person. I mean, that's like, in one way, she has a sense of humor about it. But in the other way, like, you can see right through that in moments like this, you know? It's like, just, listen, own it. Because soon you're about to own everything. You know what I mean? Yeah. Who cares?

So they get to this big house and they were walking around and it's huge and there's stables and a pool and it's exciting. And Seth's like, guys, I got to find a, I got to find a room with a, with a bathtub. No joke. I got to do this. You know, I've been traveling a lot for work this year. So it's damn important with the limited time that I have with Meredith, but

for Meredith to be happy with a bathtub. It's kind of her thing this season. Not to mention, I think it was last season, but I got a toe up my cornhole in the bathtub. It's time to repeat. Jesus Christ, my house is falling down. Oh my goodness. So Seth is like, he can't find a bathtub. He's like, oh my God, bad dream. Holy shit, holy shit, can't find a bathtub. This is really bad right now.

This is what it sounds like in here. Hold on. Yeah. That's what's happening in here right now. I don't know what they're doing. You keep talking. I was like, vamp, Ben. I'm going to need to be on mute for a second.

So Seth is like, we know what makes each other happy. It's the lowest hanging fruit to know Meredith loves a bath. Sorry. I was like, wow, look at all this pain. I'm saving the audience. And I did not save you. I was like, if I'm vamping, but it's funny because the sound actually kind of sounds like Meredith not getting her bath. Guess what? There's not a bath. This is ruining my butt man style.

So then we cut over to Bronwyn, Lisa and Angie and Bronwyn's like, you know, showing people around different rooms and showing that those rooms, two rooms here, three rooms here. And Whitney's like, wow, it looks like it's already decided. Prism. And Bronwyn's like, yeah, well just like pick a room on this side, whatever. She's like, well, if this was my party, I'd be in there assigning, because I am Greek.

So they're just like continuing to pick their rooms and everything. And Bronwyn's like, she's like, I mean, there's a bad vibe with Lisa. I have gone above and beyond making sure she's comfortable with Whitney coming. And now I don't even know where she is in the property. So like, where do I think this goes from here? Nowhere good.

I mean, it just feels a little odd. It feels a little odd. So now Lisa, Meredith, Seth, and John are sitting by the pool. And Lisa's like, oh my God, you guys should meet us in Europe. We're doing like all of Italy, like every single town. I mean, not the poor ones, which I guess leaves like two towns. But so, you know what? I really don't like the food in Italy though. So I'm not going to stay there for long.

And Meredith was like, we don't like the food. No, it's too fresh. Disgusting. Like things come out of the ground there and people eat them. Like, I don't want to go to Italy. What's the point of going to Italy if we already have Cucina Toscana in Salt Lake City? Can I say, this is so American, I feel like to me. Ew, the food in Italy, gross, it's fresh. There was a moment in Italy where I was like, wow.

This is really frustrating. Where's the corn syrup? Do you guys not have corn syrup crops? Like, who's growing the corn syrup here, okay? Needs more fillers and preservatives.

I've literally never in my life heard someone say they want to spend less time in Italy because the food is too fresh. Maybe it's like you don't like, I don't know, maybe you don't like the traveling or the, I don't know, whatever your reasons are, but like literally never in mankind, humankind, I'd like to say, let's make it open to everyone. I've ever heard someone say the food in Italy is too fresh.

Take me to Great Britain instead or something, you know? Yeah. I think mankind refers to both men and women. Man. Man is one thing. You know, man is a mass. It's all of us. It's humankind.

So then, Lise, cut to Rocky, the private jeweler, the bitchiest, most grumpy, pissed off private jeweler I've ever seen in my life. Had to drive all the way to Palm Springs. Rocky is not happy with your asses. Understandably, Rocky had a yoga class this afternoon, and she gets the phone call, like, hey, you know what?

You need to drive out to Palm Springs. And she's like, but it's Friday afternoon. It's going to take me three hours. Yeah, you got to do it. But I have yoga. It's hot yoga. I've been waiting all week for this. Yeah, you got to go to Palm Springs. But they're not even going to buy the jewelry. They're just going to

pretend like they're going to buy it. You got to go. Right? Because I feel like everyone's, you know, their mouth is agape over this, you know, $40 million jewelry, but are they going to actually buy it? I don't know. I think she's doing like a rental thing like the Oscars, right? Where she just gets to wear it. If Charlize Theron didn't buy it,

And we see that Charlize Theron wore some of this. If Charlize didn't buy it, Bronwyn's not going to buy it. I'm sorry. Hello. $40 million is a lot. But he's like a billionaire anyway. And didn't Christian Siriano say that Bronwyn is the one that actually buys things and doesn't expect things for free? So maybe she does. Maybe she will buy it. Who knows? Was it $40 million? I thought it was like $4 million. But either way, it's a lot of money. I think it was $40 million. Wait. You know what? I'm crazy. And I have no...

concept of shit like that. When the money gets to be that high, I'm like, Ben, it was $3 trillion. Yeah. Well, we all know the, the upper range for jewelry on this show is I think $60,000. I think that was the, I think that's where we are. So, um, I'm gonna have to double check at the airport, by the way, still haven't found that ring. So, uh,

Anyway, so now Bronwyn comes out to meet Rocky, and she's like, oh my god, thank you for driving down. Long day for you from LA, huh? And she goes, yeah, yeah, that's okay. It's not driving down. It's just driving east, by the way. Thanks for learning our geography.

And she didn't even try to smile or anything. She's like, yeah, it sucked. And she's like, oh, Todd, so these are the pieces I talked to Norman about. You know, I was thinking happy anniversary to me. Yes. This is jewelry. This is a jeweler I've worked with before. I was actually just at their vault a couple weeks ago. I had my puppy with me and she got to try on Charlize Theron's Oscar necklace. She pooped on it. It was just a great moment for her. It really was.

Rocky's like, this bitch, this literal bitch has disrespected an art, piece of art. And I have to drive to Palm Springs to put something around her neck. Does she know that I even got a flat tire in the Inland Empire? A flat tire. I was stuck in Corona with a flat tire in the middle of the afternoon for this bitch. Anyway, yes, please try this on. It's 170 carats. It's an opera necklace. And she's like, oh my God, do not say the word opera around Todd. I fucking hate it.

I fucking hate opera. I hope it dies in its sleep. What a horrible art form. You know, I want to sing everything. Nobody. They should outlaw music after that. It's a bunch of bullshit, opera. Whatever happened to plays? Beverly of Sills, here's a sill I'm interested in. A window I could throw her out if I hate her. Yeah, hey, Beverly, sit on a sill so I can knock you off of it. Loud mouth. Pavarotti.

Like, Pavanati, what happened to the days of Engelberg and Humberdick? Now that's a voice. I can't even stand Andrew Bocelli. You're supposed to like him. I saw him walking down the street once and I tricked him. Don't regret it. Placido Domingo, more like Placido Doming- No, I don't want it. I want Neil Diamond. So she shows off this necklace and, um,

And Ron was like, Todd likes to buy jewelry for me. It's a big expenditure. So these are pieces I liked at the jewelry, at the jeweler that I would like Todd to also like for me. Meanwhile, Angie and Sean are doing something equally high end. They,

they are pretending to play volleyball because they found like a little volleyball net. So Angie's like, oh, Sean, let's show America the spark that we have between us. Oh, look, am I an athlete? Well, my dad was a soccer player and he was MVP on the Greek team. First, I love that there's just a Greek team

I don't know. Is it like the Greek national team? Is it Olympics? Is it local? Is it just like a local Greek organization? It's just the Greek team. There's only one Greek team in this world, and her dad was the MVP of it.

Why do I feel like there wasn't even a Greek team in Angie's? It was just regular soccer. It's like, go Greek team! Go Greek team! Go Greek team! It's a clear lie. It was like, Dad, where were you? Why are you late? I was doing things for the Greek team. What? I'm on the Greek team. Don't question the Greek team.

How long have you been on that? Long time. I'm MVP. Everyone loves me there. I have to go. That's very important. Oh, okay. You know what they say. It's a sin to question the Greek team. You can never question it. Oh, that's all I know. First rule of Greek team, do not talk about Greek team. So we have this wacky scene with Amji getting a ball in the water and then trying to get it out very loudly as Sean does my favorite thing that Sean does, which is squats.

yes adorable it's my favorite it's my favorite move that that man makes and then we go back to the diamond and they're now looking at 10 karat studs and then we cut back to wacky volleyball rescue then back and forth

And then Bronwyn's like, oh my God, I can't believe they're like picking out jewelry. While in the background, we hear a flap, flap, flap of Angie hitting the water with a paddle. And like Rocky, the angry jeweler, has no time or patience for this.

Yeah. And she was like, "Well, I'm going to try them on and we'll think about it and we'll get back to Norman, okay?" And Rocky's like, "I'd pick them both." Shut up, Rocky. Is that your salesmanship? You've been nothing but an asshole this entire time. No, you're not getting $19 trillion worth of commission, Rocky, you moody asshole. Get the fuck out of here. You know what? Rocky fucking deserves it because Rocky's like, "Wait.

So you're going to take them both and you're going to get, you're just going to get back to me. So I'm going to be stuck here waiting for you to make a decision. And then I'm going to have to drive back and Coachella traffic. No, thank you, ma'am. Oh, that's true. Brown was like, oh, I have fun. There's a little motel down the street. I think I skipped yoga for this. Okay. I was just getting back on the horse and now it's ruined because of you.

So then we go to Lisa and Meredith talking about lunch and, you know, where's Seth? And he's working, you know, he's always working guys, just working, working, working, working. And then look who comes out. It's Seth. Actually, here he is. I was looking all over for you.

Yeah. He's like, I was looking all over. And Meredith's like, well, what is that? He's like, it's a martini calamara. I don't even know what a calamara is. I'm like, are you serious? We actually have a Greek reference on here and Angie is nowhere to be seen. What is happening on this show? So they do cheers and Seth's like, it's so awesome to be hanging out with you guys. Now, Meredith, I've got some bad news. Oh, God, what is it?

Jesus has come down and canceled all bat mitzvahs. Wait, that is terrible news. I'm just kidding. I have to go home tomorrow to Ohio. What do you mean? We're having so much fun. I mean, you made that bat mitzvah joke. That was great. Remember when you went looking for baths? How could you do this to me, son? You know, when you said you had some bad news, I thought you were going to say you'd bought four more of those baths.

Those stupid hats you're wearing in this scene. God, how could you even do... I'm supposed to sit here praying for you to spend more time with me, but you got a bucket hat on. Do you know how ridiculous that makes me look like? You look like that guy on Fat Albert. Ha ha ha ha ha.

He's like, and Lisa's like, yeah, but you know what? It's Sunday. You don't have to be back till Monday. And what about Tuesday? And he's like, well, I'm getting from Palm Springs to Columbus. It requires a lot. Gotta fly the mini. Gotta go, you know, up the thing to the down of the thing, around the thing. You know, it's Midwest. I've never understood the

Please stop talking about the Midwest. Corn on stocks. That's fresh. That is fresh right there. Get rid of that. Go home. Go already.

You know, I told you. I told you that this was going to be an overnight trip. And you were like, yeah, great. I'm coming. I'll be there. And then you've been gone for the past two weeks in Ohio, leaving me, the single mother of a toddler, at home in a rental in Salt Lake City. And you just get in yesterday, and now you're going to go again? This is starting to feel like Toronto again, which is my way of saying you better say I'm sorry, otherwise we're done.

Yeah, her whole doesn't add up thing. So do you think he's cheating or does she think he's cheating? I think she's just like, you're not spending time with me. And then you said you were going to spend time with me. And then you're leaving for Ohio. And I'm like, I'm the star. Doesn't add up means somebody's cheating. Okay. Well, it could be that too. Who knows? Thank you. That would be more fun. They're cheating. Their marriage is in trouble. It's a disaster. Thank you, Ben. Jesus. A toddler lies in the balance.

So then, you know, she's mad. And she's like, I get frustrated because I just feel like it's two days. It's not that big of a deal. And he's literally... They talk about this a lot. So then Seth and John walk away. And Seth's like, whoa, lesson learned. When they're in bikinis laying in a beautiful spot, they're at their best. Am I right? And...

Women, am I right? Kind of like I'm at my best in this sweet, sweet bucket hat. Just like a proper Gen Z-er, am I right? So Meredith is really not happy about this at all. And she's like, well, it's supposed to be a couple's trip. I got frustrated because it feels like it's two days. And nobody appreciates working hard more than me. You know that. But it's taking its toll on me.

So then we go to Angie and Whitney and Bronwyn sitting around. And Angie's like, you know, it was really hard. And I walked out and I was like, where should I go? I looked over there. I wasn't feeling welcome vibes. So here I am. Because she's referring to the ladies talking amongst themselves and she wasn't feeling welcome.

Yeah, well, I was thinking of going over there and sitting down, but then I realized sometimes shipping just takes 9 to 12 weeks, and it's really hard to tell people why that is. Call them Alibaba. Damn it. I'm sorry. Alibaba.

So they're talking about how there's a strange tension because Lisa and Meredith are on one side of the pool, the other women are on the other, and no one's talking. And Bronwyn is saying how she was like,

like this the separation is strange so whitney's like i feel like someone has to break the ice and she's like i can break a plate it's like oh oh oh a plate made of ice and brahms like okay you know what this is getting out of control okay todd just wants to do a phone call um because he's always doing work i just want to point that out and then we see the men are playing cornhole which is cute and they're the men are all getting along but there's tension amongst the women

So Whitney's like, well, there's kind of like another reason it's awkward. It's because Lisa wants an apology from Justin. And Justin and I both agree that Justin didn't do anything wrong. So she should apologize to my husband. And Justin should apologize. Wait a minute. Justin is your husband. What? Justin is your husband. What's your point?

Justin should apologize to Bobby because he drove her golf cart across state lines and that's illegal.

What? Well, Whitney wants an apology from Lisa and Lisa wants an apology from Justin. I just don't know if there's a fourth person in this equation. So maybe that's a triangle and not a box. Okay. I'm just not good with geometry. I don't know. But I'm going to tell you this. If Lisa wants to give someone an apology, first she would have to admit, God forbid, that she was wrong. And Lisa will not do that. I'm telling you right now. So.

So Bronwyn's like, well, maybe these apologies can all cancel each other out. And she's like, ha ha ha, I know, right? Okay, in case it hasn't been said for 45 million times, we need to break the ice. So I'm going to grab some shots and do the right thing and serve Vita tequila shots. So they go and they all, she pours all these shots of Vita tequila and she comes on out. And now at this point, they're all like,

sitting all together in the hot tub and everything. And she brings out all these shots and everything. And then everyone toasts and she's sort of awkward. And the women are all sitting there hating each other and also hating that they're drinking a bit of tequila. They're like, really? How much longer does this have to go on? Can we get to Patron again? What happened to Patron? It's a pretty awkward time. I was like...

And it gets so bad that Lisa's like, Meredith, I think maybe now's the time to start with your hearing aids storyline. So Meredith is like, oh, ladies, I got hearing aids. And everything you guys have been saying about me, I'll now be able to hear. Okay.

I'm actually very excited about my hearing aids. They did my test and they said I do have hearing loss and they recommended hearing aids. Now, of course, I did my hearing test while I was under the water in a bathtub, so maybe that impacted it. But either way, it's the best thing I ever did. And they also work as AirPods, so I can listen along with Brooksy as we watch Blue's Clues.

It's really wonderful. So then the men in the pool, Seth's like, hey, guys, here's one thing I'll tell you.

One thing I've always said is you can judge a straight dude by his wife, period. And, you know, he crushed it. He crushed it. We all crushed it. We're all hitting above our weight, guys. Right? And Todd's like, oh, I got a different point. I think they outkicked their coverage. Hey, I didn't know it was so hot in Korea. Am I right?

Sandy! Sandy here in Korea! So... So then we go back to the ladies, and Lisa's like, oh my god, you guys! Has anyone talked to Heather? Because I think that, what's her buns, Bronwyn has gotten up to go pee-pee. She's like, I gotta pee-pee. So she leaves. So they're talking about Heather now, and now they all just miss Heather so much. And Lisa's like, I just feel kind of sad that she's not here. I feel bad for her. I feel so, so bad for her.

Yeah, but I know that Bronwyn tried to apologize and repair it and find a path forward. I didn't hear the same story from Heather.

Yeah, of course not. They're all like sad that Heather's not here. That's because Brahman's like, you, I'm mad. Like you did something, you spoke shit about me and you've spread lies about me and I would like you to apologize. And Heather's like, that's outrageous. Heather was not willing to apologize for being messy the way that Brahman was. And then it's like, oh, I feel bad that Heather wasn't here. All she had to do was apologize and be the bigger person.

Or Bronwyn could have been the bigger person and said, "You know what? I'm hosting my first group trip. It's my first year on the show. I think we got off on a really bad foot. I'm sorry I got shady with you. I don't even need an apology from you. Just come on the group trip and we'll try and, like, have a bonding moment." Like, why is it always up to the poor people to be the bigger one?

You know, I agree that Heather's wrong in the Bronwyn situation. But again, I don't like a newbie coming on and then deciding cast trips and this and that because it's more boring without Heather. It just is. This would be more. I was about to say this would be more better. OK, I'm blaming my grammar on this Bronwyn situation. OK, I think this would be better with a fight with Heather. It would be great. And then all the ladies could be in there fighting about it.

Listen, I always like all cast members to be on a cast trip. I don't like when someone's not on it. I don't like when someone's iced out. I did not think that this was a boring episode, though. I personally was like, I wasn't like, oh my God. I'm not saying it's a boring episode. I'm saying it would have been more fun if Heather was. They're literally sitting around like with nothing to do and nothing to say until they're all terrified because Bronwyn's so rich until Bronwyn goes to the bathroom. Now they can all talk about trying to start some mess. You know what I mean? So,

So, well, Lisa's like, where was I? Okay, she's like, well, when I talked to her, I heard a whole different story. And Whitney's like, well, they're saying the exact same thing about each other. And Lisa's like, well, you know what? I think it's better that Heather just speaks for herself. And, you know, I don't feel comfortable. I don't want to get into this game of telephone, so I'm literally going to pick up my telephone and start some games. Okay, let's go, Heather. Let's play liberal telephone.

I don't want to play a game of telephone. So let's get out. Let's gather on the telephone and then we can just tell Bronwyn what Heather said on the telephone. So, and he's like, look, I do miss Heather, but I'm not dumb enough to pick up the phone and call her on a trip that Bronwyn is hostessing. No way. Yes. So they call up Heather and,

And Angie's basically saying this is a double standard because if you had called Lisa's mortal enemy, you'd be in the pool right now. And she's right. Yes. But this is Lisa Barlow. This is how Lisa Barlow is, which is why Lisa's hilarious because Lisa's so shady and so messy. So she goes, hi. Hi, Heather. Everybody says that they wished you were here except for Todd. Todd says, where can I get some bulgogi? I don't even know what that means.

Yeah, we were talking about why you weren't here. And Bronwyn's like, oh, so we're doing this right now? Wow, why are we doing this? Should I leave? Should I leave my own house? And Whitney's like, um, I don't know. I guess because you were gone? I guess because everyone said we should call Heather because Bronwyn's not here and we're all Team Heather. I don't know. Maybe they said that.

Oh my gosh, we miss you, Heather. She's like, oh my God, have so much fun. It looks gorgeous, everybody. And Bron was like, I am furious when I find out that she's on the phone with Heather. Like up until this point, I've been like, maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I did something meaner than I remember. Maybe Lisa and I are in a weird place. No, this bitch dead ass wrong.

And you know Bronwyn's mad because Bronwyn's biggest mad tell is that she starts nodding excessively even when she's not even talking. She just sits there and just starts nodding. It's like, Bronwyn, are you okay? Are you happy? I'm just going to nod. I'm going to nod very slowly while my chest turns a little bit red. Maybe I'll curl my upper lip over my lower lip a little bit while I nod. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Well, I just, it feels a little weird when I went to the bathroom and then you guys called Heather. And Lisa's like, well, I just, I just feel like we're, I just feel like we're telling her we miss her. Like, I think we all miss her and we wish that things were better with you guys. Well, I invited Heather over with the intention very clearly to fix it with her so that Heather could come. And it feels a little shady to call her and be like, we miss you, we miss you. So...

Well, we're just sad that she's not here, and that's all it is. Or you can get mad if I call up my toddler and ask, who's the cutest little boy in the world? I'm allowed to do that, too. Well, I'm sad that Heather's not here without a relationship. What does that mean? That Heather's single anyway, and this is a couple's trip? Or is she just saying, well, I'm sad that Heather won't have a relationship with me?

I am not sure. It felt sort of like a half-baked diss. It felt like a diss that didn't quite land, so then everyone just kept moving forward. I want to know what it means. Was that a single-person diss, ma'am? Because I'm not having it, Bronwyn.

I said it as someone who knows exactly how to make a half-baked that everyone moves on from. As gentlemen who cook half-baked cookies all day on this show, we know some half-baked when we see it. We're so half-baked, we own stock in Ben & Jerry's at this point. Ugh, I wish. So Bronwyn's like, you know, I don't care if you believe Heather over me. It just kind

weird that you came if you do and like but i also think you and i have a long relationship lisa and i don't just listen when someone talks poorly about you i don't yeah well i don't think she was talking poorly about you she just said you're a piece of shit person who's trying to ice her out of the hurt the show that she started and that you deserve to die and that she was the one who invented receipts proof timeline etc and like where have you come up with a cool line that has been said in congress okay but that's it i don't think she was talking shit

And she's like, well, you assumed that I invited Heather over to have a fight with her so she couldn't come on a trip because I'm just what, Lisa? Just say it. No, but you did have her over to force an apology or you were going to withhold a trip. It's just weird. You know what? You know what, Bronwyn? You're being like Italian food right now. Fresh, okay? You're putting words in my mouth and I didn't say that. Yeah.

you're basically putting lettuce out of the ground in my mouth right now. How dare you? And Bronwyn's like, actually, no, I'm not putting words in your mouth. I'm asking you, is that what it was? Because I don't hear a lot of words coming out of your mouth. And that does kind of bother me because these two and a lot of other people can attest that words actually do come out of my mouth when someone speaks about you. They do because someone speaks about you and words come out and someone speaks about me and words do not come out. So,

Where are the words, Lisa? Where are the words? And then we see a flashback of when they went on a hike last week and, you know, Whitney and Angie were talking shit about Lisa and Bronwyn's like, oh, that's too bad because that's not been my experience with her. So Bronwyn is like, you know, you'd think at some point if I wasn't owed loyalty because of our friendship, I'd probably have bought it by now with this trip I'm taking her on. I was like, there we go. I'd like that. It's like, yeah, we have it.

I mean, at least I'm paying for shit for you. Come on, be nice for me at least for that. Yeah, that's how she's used to getting her way now. And what's so funny about this is Lisa is such a stubborn asshole and causes so much trouble and will never apologize. Yeah.

And we're seeing, like, she's someone who will not be told no, basically. And now we're seeing that Bronwyn is also someone that you just don't tell Bronwyn no. She's a freaking billionaire, dude. Like, people, she's used to people just licking her ass. So to come a bunch of all these ladies where she's talking in her sternest mom voice, like, I'm giving you a chance to apologize or you are going to get out of this car before we get mixed up.

McDonald's, ma'am. Like, she's trying that, and it's just not working. These people don't give a fuck. They're like, have fun. You're on Housewives now, sucka. We don't respect anyone. Put the Pope on this show. We'll kick him in the balls in two seconds. Mm-hmm.

So she's like, you don't have to be the same friend that I am. We all show it in our own ways. But it's starting to feel a little bit odd to me that you're so tight with Heather. I'm going to bounce my head a little bit forward. No, I'm not just nodding. I'm bouncing it forward at you a little bit. Like it's a little red bouncy ball coming at you and coming back.

and you're so tight with Brittany, but never once when Brittany has yelled at me, have you called me the next day and said, are you cool? Are you fine? Do you feel okay? Never once when Heather and I have had a problem, have you called me and said, are you cool? Are you fine? Do you feel okay? Never once have you just even pretended you had a plate of bulgogi for Todd when he thinks he's in Korea. Not once.

And the guys, by the way, are over there watching this. And John's like, I'm not going to say a word. And Seth's like, not my business. That's not my business. What's Whitney wearing? Justin's like, I don't want to have anything to do with that. And Seth's like, that's stupid. I don't like it. This is like when they came out with those phones that you don't got to plug into a wall. How's that working? I don't know.

I don't care if you're my wife or if you're Beverly Sills. No yelling in the hot tub. So Meredith is like, Lisa. But especially Beverly Sills. You know what? I actually do care if you're Beverly Sills. And I don't want her in my hot tub. No Beverly Sills allowed. Maria Callas, don't call me.

So then Meredith is like, well, Lisa listened to Heather's feelings. She did not throw you under the bus. Well, did she defend me? Well, to the extent that I think she can, which is not at all. And she's like, well, Bronwyn has never thrown you under the bus, just so you know.

So Bronwyn's like, well, here's the thing. You don't have to defend me, but if you don't defend me and then you tell me that this is Heather's feelings and then the second I have to take a leak, you call Heather. Bronwyn, I'm so glad you invited me and I'm so glad I'm here and I came as your friend and I also listened to my other friend who was speaking to me out of hurt. Just how I felt hurt when I went to an Italian restaurant in Italy and had to eat fresh food. That hurt.

But you didn't think that you should check on Bronwyn before you go on a trip with her? She's like, oh, did you check on me? Whitney and I went to Bo's. I feel like Whitney's lying about me. Did you check on me? And she goes, I absolutely did. And let's let the cameras show. And so we see a flashback of when all that went down. Bronwyn went over and said, are you okay? Yeah.

But did you call her and check on her? I mean, this is like so ridiculous. These people are so crazy. Well, this is classic Utah. Lisa started it, though, by calling. She started it by making that phone call. But I think that Lisa, for Lisa, is actually staying somewhat calm in this and just being like, that's my friend, but I still respect you. I think Lisa's not acting like too much of an asshole in this particular moment, although she was an asshole by doing that call.

Yeah, I mean, this is a classic Salt Lake City Real Housewives fight, which is like, I'm your ride or die. You didn't stand by me. You didn't ride or die for me. I rode and died for you. Like, this show's all about people demanding extreme loyalty in every situation. And Bronwyn's just really just, she's just sticking herself into a long line of these arguments.

So Bronwyn's like, before I left Angie's house, I looked both you and John in your face and said, are you guys cool? And then you started to say something and I was already out the door. So I don't really know what you said, but I assume you're okay. Anyway, I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave if you guys are upset. Is there anything else? I said all these things. And he's like, no, there's nothing more. Okay. But we didn't have a conversation and you didn't say, hey girl, this girl's calling you a liar.

And so then Todd's like, oh, you know, she's getting pretty wound up over there. We better get over there. And Todd's like, well, why don't we call Todd? Todd says something like, ladies, why don't we just call Heather on one of the phones that you plug in? And she's like, we did, Todd. That's why we're fighting. Thank you, though. I am Greek. He's like, God damn it, Greek lady. Seriously? She's like, one woman moonstruck. Get her out of my pool.

So Lisa comes over to right by Bronwyn's face. I hated that movie. Don't you dare speak about Queen Olympia that way. So Lisa's like, okay, you know what? I want to speak for myself. Okay. I don't want anyone else in between. I will sit over here because I'm not going to have a million other people in between it. You know what? Because I'm your friend. And I did listen to Heather's perspective.

Yeah, but Heather's—I mean, Bronwyn just goes off. She has a monologue. And she's like, well, Heather is allowed to tell you how she feels about me, and you guys have to listen, but I'm not allowed to tell anybody how I feel. And Heather's saying Bronwyn's two-faced, Bronwyn's untrustworthy, Bronwyn this, Bronwyn saying I want to be friends with Heather. I tried to apologize to Heather. That's what's happening. I mean, listen to the difference. And Heather's shit-talking me or shit-talking someone else while I'm trying to fucking fix it, and everybody thinks Heather's the one that's missed. Well, figure it out, Lisa.

Yeah, okay, you know what? I don't want to fight with you about Heather and Heather being it. Okay, you know what? I just don't want to do this. I don't want to be involved, okay? I listen to Heather because she's like my friend. And I listen to you. And I think the bottom line is, you and Heather need to work stuff out, okay? And like, I don't like when people get involved in my stuff, okay? I don't want to deal with all this.

So then Lisa, she's like, Lisa, this is a double standard because you're telling me when she says something about you, I should call and check on you. But when Heather and I have an argument, I'm supposed to work it out with Heather. Yeah, but you didn't call Lisa and check on her when she had a problem. And I don't know, this whole thing is giving me a headache. I understand what's going on, but I'm just like, oh, God, it's too much.

And she just gets up and it's like, when it's me and somebody else, it's my responsibility to work it out. But when it's you and someone else, my ass better ride your dick. Like it's my job, Lisa. She walks away. I loved it. I thought it was great. I thought it was a great Bronwyn moment. So Bronwyn, she was like, you know, we've known each other for years, but this trip is a turning point for me. And Lisa's not mourning this crack in our relationship. Lisa's jamming shit down this crack to make the divide bigger. How big is this crack going to get? Yeah.

So Lisa's like, "I have never asked for this." So like, that's just like amazing. Okay, I didn't do anything wrong. So I don't feel like even like a little bit bad. And like, she'll hear from Heather and they'll work it out. And like everyone could apologize to me. So Lisa, I'll just be up here waiting for your apology.

So then Whitney comes to check on Bronwyn, because she is a good friend, guys. And she's also got someone to work against, both Lisa Barlow and Heather, with her. So she's loving this, you know. And Bronwyn is saying—she's still fuming, you know. She's like, well, no one is on my side, and I need them to say it was wrong of Heather to storm out and blah, blah, blah. And those two, you know, I don't need—

I don't need them to give me a pity of join on my trip. I mean, if they were truly neutral, they wouldn't be saying, well, here's why this went weird with Heather. I mean, why do you say that to Heather? I know Bronwyn. She's very direct. If it went sideways, you must've said something to her. That's what they should have said to Heather. Wow. This is between Bronwyn and Heather. So I don't know who is wrong here, but I can see how Bronwyn is really hurt that Lisa is now the spokesperson for mine. Yeah.

Wendy's. No, say Heather Gay. McDonald's. Heather Gay. Coca-Cola. Am I supposed to say more? Oh, like if Lisa could just stay out of it, like this wouldn't even be a thing.

Well, I feel like for me, I can be a good friend, but if I didn't hear from Bronwyn, and she didn't say, Heather came to my house, and she has this and this. But how can I say to Heather, you're wrong. Your feelings are wrong. No, I don't believe you. I would never. I would never. So then back with Bronwyn. She's still fuming, going off on why Lisa's wrong. And she's basically like, I don't know.

What this all comes down to is, like, I've known Lisa for, like, 12 years or whatever it is, and we're really good friends, and I have a beef with Heather, and Lisa is basically taking Heather's side or is, like, not standing by my side blindly, and I'm mad because I brought her to this nice-ass place, and she's still going to be, like, you know...

you know, like, cares more about Heather than me right now. That's basically what Bronwyn's saying. And that's why she's so pissed. Yeah, but Lisa also has a very close relationship with Heather. I mean, if your two friends are having a stupid fight... I mean, Bronwyn's already admitted. Heather went and shit-talked her, and...

made her look stupid in front of everybody. And then so Bronwyn got revenge by doing the exact same thing to Heather last week when she told everybody what Heather was blabbing about. And she said, it was shady, but I was just getting revenge. So sue me, you know? And it was kind of fun and funny. But now she's acting like, oh, she just, how could Heather treat her like this? And nobody understands. You guys are in the most petty fight of all time.

and they have to choose. Heather's the star of their show. She's one of the stars of their show. They've been through a lot together. No one's going to dump Heather because she got into an argument with you just because you're richer.

Well, I think that like Lisa is totally entitled to call Heather because they are friends and she's allowed to talk. But the fact that like Lisa did it right there in the hot tub, knowing that Bronwyn's going to come back out any second, like, oh, Heather's on the phone. We just miss her. It's kind of like putting it just basically it's putting Bronwyn and like it's basically saying like Bronwyn, you're a bitch for not inviting Heather because we all miss Heather. God, we wish Heather were here.

What Lisa did then was completely wrong. No, what Lisa did in that situation is completely wrong. I agree. Lisa was a shithead. We agree with each other on that for sure. I'm not saying Lisa, I'm not sticking it for Lisa in that way. Lisa sucks for doing that. And Lisa does shit like that all the time. I'm just saying for Bronwyn, Bronwyn's trajectory in general as a housewife, she's coming on and she's putting so many lines in the sand in her first four weeks, her first five weeks. It's like,

dude, you're, you're putting all these walls up between everybody. Like you're so mortally offended with quite a few people now. And you've got these fucking lines in the sand and you're soon, you're going to get yourself in the box because I can already tell. And I know you don't agree with this part, but I can already tell a difference in energy levels between this episode and the other episodes and,

It's a good episode, but it's just not as fun. And I think the more she starts walling people off and having this where she's not going to invite that person because she's offended by everybody. I mean, someone like this is going to be offended by everybody by the end of the season. And there's going to be a moment where she's on an island alone. And you can't just wall off everybody all the time, especially when you're a newbie. I just think it doesn't help the energy.

But I agree that in this situation, she's got a point with everything. I just don't like the way she's really going about it. And she's got zero chill. It's like, babe, it's episode eight.

I think it's great. I love that she has zero chill. I think like, you know, after Monica, we're like, Monica came in hot mess was crazy, captivated all of our attention. And then she was gone. She burned too bright. She was gone. Like, wow, they're really not gonna be able to follow that up. And they're like, they found someone who was able to be a disruptor, but

but without being a hot mess. And I'm like, that's really cool because otherwise it'd be stuck with like a Brittany and like Brittany is like, you know, amusing in her own Brittany way, but she's sort of like, she's like an empty husk of a woman. And like, you know, instead Bronwyn is like fascinating and interesting. And even if she does do all the things that you say she's going to do, which I'm,

very well could happen. I'm not saying that you're wrong on that point. She is remarkably upset and has no chill. And I'm like, that's what I like about her. She has no chill and she's agitating people and she's like getting under people's skins. And I, and she's creating like real dynamics. Cause you saw in the beginning of the season,

when it was like auditions and they were kind of like, the show was kind of like throwing a lot of shit at the wall to see what was going to stick. You had that Brittany come on, like everyone's coming out doing their song and dance. It was like the auditions for the choir all over again. And it was like, it was amusing, but none of this felt like real. Like Angie pulls out a scroll, Whitney and Meredith have a fight about bath bombs. Like, okay, what's going on with the season? It's funny, but what's going on. But then Bronwyn comes through and it's like, oh, she's created real,

happening with these people. So I'm totally down for the Bronwynization of this season. Maybe I'll eat my words and I will be happy to do so. It's not the first time, but I'm down. I am down with the Bronwyn. Okay, so then Todd is like, what's happening?

And Whitney's like, I'll give you a moment to speak in private. She gets the hell out of there. And then Bronwyn's like, yes, please give us a moment. But Whitney, thank you for checking on me. Todd, Todd. He's like, I told you I wasn't going to deal with all these people. I told you specifically her that I wouldn't do it. And either I could leave or they could leave. And I'm getting there. And she's like, and I'm not going to talk for this muffler.

So she's like, I know, Todd. I know. Here's a Werther's. Thank you. And I should just tell John and Lisa they should just leave. Give them some money. Get them a car and say, get there and take Beverly Sills with you.

I love that he's like, "I'll give them some money and give them a car they can leave." And Bronwyn's like, "Maybe I should tell them, 'cause I'm a little bit nicer than you." And she's like, "He can be an asshole, but he is my knight in shining asshole. You know what I mean? Like, he's riding into battle for me, and I just-- I appreciate Todd coming to my rescue, you know?" Now, maybe it would be better with a Nerf gun and not a machete, but Todd's a machete kind of a person.

Look, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to sit through this all weekend. This is bullshit. So he goes outside. He goes up to John.

And so he's like, all right, dude. This is like how I said, dude, it's a new word up in here. So this is getting out of control. Lisa and Bronwyn. And John's like, oh, what's going on? Oh, bullshit. I told Bronwyn I wasn't coming to spend a weekend here and sit through a bunch of arguments. So it's got to stop. Lisa's got to stop. Beverly's got to stop. Someone's got to stop. Otherwise, I'm going to stop having you guys here.

I mean, he basically just fires him. He's like, here's what's going to happen. Your wife better cut the crap of your house. John's just like, I'll go talk to Lisa. If these numbers don't go up by March, you're all fired, okay? Now get to work.

So he does. And then Bronwyn and Todd are talking again. And she's like, so what happened with John? Did you figure it out with John? What happened? He's like, I said, we're not going to deal with this. And he said, I'll go talk to Lisa. I've had enough of this. I've had whole weekends worth in three hours. And she's like, yeah, yeah. Okay, honey. And so John goes in and he's like, wow, what's going on with you and Bronwyn? Because Todd just came in pretty heated. Something about...

Winning Korea, no matter the cost? Oh, Bronwyn's like, you're not having my side with Heather. But I'm like, Heather's my friend too. And she's also the star of our show. And she's more established in television. And she expressed her feelings with me too. So I'm like, it's all confusing. Why? What did Todd just say to you?

He just said Bronwyn's really upset, and he said that if it can't be settled, then he wants us to go. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I love that they act like, we are bringing you to Palm Springs. It's not the Rio de Janeiro. It's fucking Palm Springs. Why are you guys acting like, is the Rio de Janeiro really nice? I'm imagining that's a very glamorous vacation. Think of somewhere. It's not Ibiza.

Yes, I think Rio and Ibiza are both very nice places. Well, this is a nice ranch. I kind of enjoyed the way that Todd came out. Like you said, basically fired John. He's like, yeah, so...

you gotta stop doing this otherwise you gotta go it's just like boom that's it and you're all fired it was just so cut and dry and it's just it was amusing to me and you know john's like uh okay so um sounds like how many people do i need to be terrified of on this trip like please i'm already terrified of lisa can we just let me have my terrifying lisa moments and not not add to my villain you know

Jeez. John's hiding some fresh basil and recently sourced mozzarella. And he's like, oh, God, he caught me. I just want to have a piece of some fresh Italian food. Seriously? Everyone's mad at me. Oh, my gosh. All right, everybody. Well...

that brings us to the end of the episode. Go ahead and go to our Patreon if you would like the video version of this. Also, go to Patreon if you'd like our bonuses. This week, as we said, is a sold on Salt Lake City preview. That's the new real estate show. I don't know if Lisa Barlow has something to do with this show or if she's just on it a couple of times, but it's a pretty funny preview with crazy-faced, rubber-faced people. Go check that out. And...

We will be back next time. Okay. Bye. Bye.

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