#2589 RHOP 0902: Conflicting Obligations
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Hello and welcome to Watch Where Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the one, the only, the burpee, Mr. Ronnie Carroll. I'm so sorry, did you hear that? Yeah, that's why I laughed. I had my microphone muted. I did what you told me to do to mute my damn microphone. Oh.

How embarrassing. Okay, start over. I'm just so unlike you. No, no, no. No, start over. No, I want the burp. I want the burp. I want the burp. I love that. Embarrassing. As someone who is very burp forward in his life, I was so happy that he burped. Yeah.

No, I don't even burp. I don't want people to know I burp or fuss. I don't do either of those things or poop either. I'm a perfect person. Well, then if we start over here every once in a while, if we start over, you're in charge of downloading this video and giving it to sweet, sweet. No, go ahead. Just move forward. Whatever. All right.

Well, everyone, welcome to the show. We're starting the week off on a real fun note here. We are talking Potomac today. By the way, please join us over at Patreon, patreon.com slash watch for crappins. That's where we get, there's a lot of fun stuff over there. We do weekly bonus episodes and we are covering below deck sailing there.

for the moment. Um, so go check out our recaps over there. And also there's our video. You can see both of us were in our fall colors today, earth tones. Um,

Ronnie has a majority. I'm like, Julie in LA. I'm freezing to death over here. I've got my first hoodie of the year on my head. I was like in a Star Wars. I'm in Star Wars, the podcasters. Yeah. We have to also give it a shout out to Sassy from the Bravo docket who tied the knot this weekend. Yes. Congratulations. Huge woos to Sass. Nailed it. Nailed it. Nailed the hot one with the job. You know, couldn't ask for anything more for a great podcast.

Also, for her wedding present, go listen to their show. Give them some subscribes and likes and downloads, etc. The Bravo Docket. Yes, and I'm going to be going on a show called The Sarah Fraser Show. So everyone go check that out. I'm sure it's going up this week, but I probably should promote that after I've recorded it. So I have a better timetable for you all. But that's something to think about for this week, which is very exciting.

Okay, great. So let's get into it. Real Housewives of Potomac, episode two of season nine, Double Trouble. I was, I have to say, very emotionally involved in this episode. And I was like, this episode was better than anything we saw last year. I fully believe that Potomac is back. Now, you know, I love making a big proclamation these days. I don't know what it is. I'm in my proclamation era, but I'm feeling really strongly about it.

Well, that's good. So let's start. We are at Giselle's Hatitude Party. They've just confronted Mia about being a bad mother by bringing basically all of her shit on camera about the kids, right? Is that why she's a bad mother? And so she has gone to the bathroom like they're completely wrong. I think that they, I mean, who does that? Like attack somebody about being a bad mother at a hat?

party. I mean, maybe not enough place to do it. I will say, I don't know that I disagree. I'm not going to call her a bad mother. I'm not going to ever say that. But I do think that she shouldn't be bringing all this shit on. It's so fucked up.

up. Especially this. I don't even think they were talking about the DNA test, but I think if they were talking about the like, let's take a DNA test for our kid and put it on TV. I don't love that. And it makes me feel weird somewhat agreeing with Giselle, but then I have to remember it. Giselle's just being evil for sport and tearing this girl down and Mia deserves to live her happiest life too. So, you know what? I really don't know how I feel.

I feel like it's very messy and I think it's, I feel like it is careless as a parent to bring these very sensitive issues onto a national platform. Um, because, uh, it could be, it could be dicey for the kid, but you know, also I'm not a parent. So what do I know? Um,

But either way, Mia is... I think the damage mostly is what the parents hear, right? Because it's the parents judging in the carpool line or whatnot. Because, you know, everyone says, oh my God, you know, these things happen and the kids are tortured at school. And part of me is like, well, are the kids watching The Real Housewives? I mean, and then that cracks me up because I would have been that kid to be

watching The Real Housewives and just going into the school. Because, you know, even adults are really influenced by what we watch on TV. And a lot of times people will start watching Housewives and you know that they've gotten really into it because you'll be like, oh, hey, you parked a little bit over the line. They'll be, oh, really? Well, maybe you should think twice before you come at me about something when you should be looking at your own family. Have you talked about, I have a child in my car. Are you trying to do this in front of my children? How dare you?

Like, we all get so much more dramatic just from watching these drama queens on TV. And I like to imagine a little kid just walking into school like, oh, really? You're calling me late? Well, maybe you should have given me a better reason to get here early. I see no reason to get to your class early. Just don't come for me unless I send for you. Yeah, I don't think that these... I'm trying to concentrate today. I have a new single coming out.

don't really think that these shows have made me more dramatic but i did go to the farmer's market this more moment this morning and when i was buying um a squash i i did say children are off limits so maybe i am getting a little affected by it they're like sorry yes i'm not good enough well guess what you're not coming to my bagel stand how about that

Um, so anyway, um, so Mia is crying in the bathroom and Wendy at the back of the table is like, at the core of this group, we're all mothers. And I just think that that was a lot. And she's like, well, I'm not saying she's not a good mother. I'm just shaming her for being a bad mother.

And, yeah, Karen was like, oh, that wasn't my intention at all. Did I call someone a bad mother? I was just trying to get you to forget that I drove drunk. Oh, damn it. Did I just say that? I hope I didn't remind you. Me is a terrible mother. Yeah. So Giselle's basically like, you know, when Gordon went to TMZ, it was clear that he was angry and hurt. And, you know, you know, I think that, you know, she was like that because she has a new guy in her life.

And we see TMZ articles and stuff. And Wendy is telling us, like, oh, me. Well, he can be heard all he wanted. From what I remembered, he spent all of their money in possibly illegal ways and got kicked out of the family business and then yelled at her a lot and disrespected her. So I don't really think that I'm too worried about what fucking Gordon is thinking about TMZ.

I'm not concerned either. Leave it up to Giselle to be feeling for the most terrible man, you know? Not the most terrible man, but a kind of terrible man.

So then Mia's telling us, this is what Karen likes to do. She likes to deflect. But to be questioning me about whether or not I was protecting the kids, it's disheartening. And you know it hurts. That's like an avenue that I don't want anyone to ever be able to question my babies, okay? My babies, they're good. They're good. I'm like, yeah, but...

You know, it's like this poor kid, if it winds up that G is the dad, then this is just like out there on permanent record and it will get back to the kid. It'll maybe create like a sense of doubt and confusion. I just, I'm like, you know what, Mia?

I'm sorry. This was sloppy of you. I'll just say it. I have no problem judging parents. Okay. It's like, you can't, don't judge me. Kids are off limit. Don't judge me as a parent. Guess what? I'm judging. And I guess what? I am guilty of sloppiness. I get to judge you as a parent. Guess why? I pay property taxes and those property taxes pay for your school. So I am the village that's raising your child. So guess what? The village has a say. If you want to take the village's money, then the village has a say.

Okay. You know, for every, for every person who comes up to me and says, so you and Dom don't want to have kids ever, ever. I get to say, so you don't want your child to have a healthy childhood ever, ever.

Yeah. Yeah. If it's so warrants, I get to fucking say whatever I want to. Also, I love that they keep like, Mia, how could you talk about getting a DNA test on TV? And then it cuts to her kid, like on a bouncy ball, hopping around in a dinosaur head, like the happiest child ever. They're like, Mia, don't you think this might affect your kid? And then it's him just flying in the air with a little balloon. Like I am the happiest little boy that's ever lived. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, can we just get 900 shots of this kid looking as happy as possible? So at some point in the season, we could just cut to him sobbing on a curb somewhere. Because that's basically what's going to happen. So Giselle's like, okay, I know they are not here. So let's move on with the hattitude situation because we have a lot of prop humor to get through this afternoon. Nah. So she resumes the doling out of the hats scene.

Which is thankfully swift and, you know, it does not take 10 minutes of our time. So Giselle first approaches Wendy and says, our relationship has been in the bucket, da, and I'd like for us to get to a better place. So let's get together tomorrow, wah, so we can, you know, try to do that. And in the meantime, I'm going to give you a bucket hat, da, to represent, da, our relationship, ah.

And Ashley's like, very trendy, and I know because I own a fashion line. And Wendy's like, well, my name is Wendy, and I'm the best of all girls at the table, and everybody wants to fill up my breasts. And she shows off happy and mess. And then Giselle's like, uh, no. No.

So then there's another hat. It's called the queen. And of course, Giselle gives that to herself. And, um, and then she just sort of is like for everyone else. She was like, you all are new and are not cast members. Um, and we don't know which one of you is going to be a friend of, which one's going to be a cast member. So you're all going to get a Derby hat because welcome to the Derby. Yeah.

So then Mia comes back sniffling and Carol's like, I'm glad Mia's back. Mia's back, everybody. Let's all talk about what a wonderful mother Mia is. Mia, is there a pole for you to hang from while we compliment you? You're a good mama, Mia.

So, Giselle is like, Mia, I'm happy that you came back. I'm sorry, I definitely did not want you to cry and run out of here. I do not think that you're a bad mother, just a bad person. And Karen's like, oh yeah, me too. I've seen you with your kids, I've seen you with your kids, and you're wonderful with them.

And they seemed very happy. That's how I saw your son. He was flying, speeding by on top of a real life Tonka truck with a dinosaur head on. He looked very, very happy. It was very, very... Are you saying the Tonka truck was dangerous? Do not come for my children!

There's someone here talking about Tonky B. No, get out of our show, Lady from Chimp Crazy. So, Karen's like... Have you seen Lady from Chimp Crazy, Tanya? Have you seen her Instagram? She started an Instagram. I need to go follow it. I have not seen it. It's her. She's like, well...

Here I am. I'm here on Instagram. You told me you wanted me to come here, so I'm here. So hi, everybody. I don't know what I'm supposed to do on here, but, you know, it's really me. So if you think it's someone different, it's not. It's me from Chimp Crazy. So if you want to know anything, just ask me some questions. My husbands are going to dinner right now. We're going to have some dinner. Okay, well, I guess I'll talk to you later then.

I have not seen this Instagram, but I just know that was like, not just 100% accurate. That was like 150% accurate. That was, I just visualized the whole thing from like a low angle sort of shaking. Yeah.

Yeah, I love her. I love her so much. I'm going to a costume party and we have to dress up, which I'm horrified. I hate doing that. And I really want to do her. I want to be her, but just I don't have the energy. That's a lot. There's a lot to that. I just got tired even thinking about that Instagram. I'm like, it's so tiring.

Well, anyway, Mia, I just want to, Mia, I think you're a great mother. Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes, Mia. And I'm going to say, okay, you have to put your head diagonally. There you go. Now you're looking at me in the eyes. There you go. You're a great mother. And Giselle's like, no, by the way, Jacqueline doesn't have a hat. So they go back to Jacqueline to give her a hat. And because she's back in the group and Jacqueline's like, I should never have left in the first place.

So then they take a group photo and they sort of just like wrap up the scene on their hats and having fun. And then we had over to Karen and Ray's house another day. And Ray is like, I'm making coffee. And Karen's like, Ray, what are you doing on my coffee machine? Does it ever crank? No, it uses electricity, Ray. Do you understand the concept of electricity? I'm not sure. I'm not sure, Karen. Yeah.

And he's made it way too black. And it's like, this is horse car. It's trying to kill me. So then we go over to Mia's and Jeremiah and Lulu, literally the hat or Juju. Sorry, Jeremiah and Juju, the happiest children in the world. Popsicles so happily. Yeah, they really are. I mean, it's like, I love you. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm so proud of both of you. Are you ready for summer? Can I get a high five? Do mothers do that? Give me a high five. Good job.

And then we have Giselle arriving at a restaurant and, um, this is going to be her and Wendy. So she, she gets there. Wendy joins. Wendy's like in a full on look like big shoulders and everything. And she's like, I smell gas. She's like, I don't smell gas. Ah. And she's like, well, no, I smell gas. Not like car gas, but like fart gas. You don't smell the gas. She's like, ah, it's no look on Giselle's face. Okay. It's always, it's always like that. Just haven't been paying attention. Uh,

I love this. Wendy comes to like, where are they? Like an oddball pain or something. And she comes in. They're at a Brioche Dore. Like a little skin tight. Like, I don't even know what you call them. I would call them biker shorts. I mean, I don't know what you call it. Like little, little tiny latex pants and like a crop top. And then gigantic white feathers.

Like, ma'am, you're here for like a packaged croissant. I know. Ma'am, your chicken club has just been microwaved and here it is. Yeah, ma'am, this is a Wendy's.

And so Giselle does that thing where she's like, hold, please. Hold, please. I'm looking at my phone. And so she just does a little swiping. And so Wendy's like, okay, well, I guess I will do my makeup. So she starts beating her face while Giselle...

does her phone i'm like okay you two we get it but here you are so let's let's get a move on okay so wendy is saying that this is a big deal because giselle is the one is has invited her to lunch and giselle is the same person who refused to have any touching obviously a flashback to karen's new beginnings party where giselle's like no thank you no thank you no touching no touching no thank you wow

So now they are going to, you know, like talk things over and everything. So they order some food and Giselle's like, so Wendy, I'm not coming to this conversation with any isms or any nothing. I just feel like whatever you feel I want to listen to and hopefully it will be reciprocated. I love that. I'm not coming here with any isms. Okay. Let's...

Succinct way to get it. Now, listen, I'm not here to accuse you of botulism, hedonism, or beteism. That's not why we're here. We are here to eat. Hold on, I have a text. I have a textism. Hold on, please. Hold on. You know, I am someone who enjoys altruism. Oh, whoops, that was an ism. Apologies. Okay.

Can I get my croissant rolled over here, or are we engaging in ableism? So, I'm just, I can't think of ism words right now. That's it. I think it's funny. I would have loved to have done this. I would have loved to have done this for five minutes, come up with ways to wedge in isms into this. Well, I would call you an old fuddy-duddy, but I don't want to engage in ageism. Thank you. Anyway, hold on, I'm getting a call from the mechanic.

It looks like I've got an update about my geoprism. Does that count as an ism? So, she's not going to have any isms here, okay? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.

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So then the server breaks in, and so they have to order and stuff. He interrupts quite a bit in this scene. He really does. This server just wants a way out. I mean, what do you think is going to happen? You're going to get discovered and then get put on Real Housewives of Potomac as what? Like an everyday waiter? What are you going for here? That's what you call opportunism-a-tour.

So, you know, by the way, they order oysters. If a restaurant smells like farts, I'm not going to order the oysters. I'm telling you that right now. Those are two concepts that are not good together. Yeah. So, yeah. He's like, well, we have oysters from two different places, actually. So one from Maine and one from local.

One from Maine and one from the party city down the block. Yeah, I know. I need more specific than local. I don't need like... Is it from the reflecting pool? I don't need DNA. I was going to say DNA coordinates. What am I trying to say? I don't need coordinates. I don't need a DNA mapping. Yeah.

I will not eat this until I know who's fathered me as child. Thank you. Oh my goodness. It's the oyster. I am actually an oyster. It's true. So they are eating these oysters in the farty restaurant.

And Giselle's like, well, there is no room for friendship when you talk to somebody in a demeaning way. That's all I'm saying. Well, it's because she did this because they get the oysters. And Giselle takes her oyster out and starts fork and kniving the oyster on the plate, right? Is that what she was doing? And Wendy's like, Wendy goes, no, why are you eating it like that? That's not how you're supposed to do it. You're supposed to shuck it. And then she goes, Wendy!

It is not a good way to start a friendship. By demeaning someone. I'm like, well, now you're scolding her. Is that a good way? I don't think it was about the oysters. I love to think it was about the oysters. Because I think that before the oysters arrived, Giselle was saying how, you know, Wendy, when you're fine, everything's fine. But when you're angry, it's like you're really condescending. And so I think she was just picking up saying, like, yeah. Oh, I see.

But I love the idea that she was really touchy about it. No, she does. She does in a minute. So then the waiter comes and brings the oysters. And Giselle, it's right here in our notes, Giselle picks up an oyster and uses the tiny fork to stab the inside and bring it into her mouth. And Wendy stares at her and says, why are you eating it like that? You're supposed to shuck it. And she says, don't do that. A lot of times it doesn't come out of the neck. And she's like, so you eat it like that? She goes, there's no room for a friendship when you talk to somebody in a demeaning way. That's all I'm saying.

So I think it was the oyster. Don't judge me about my oyster. I felt like my memory of this very important scene is that she was eating the oyster strangely. Wendy was laughing like, what the fuck are you doing? And Giselle's like, I have to do it this way because sometimes they don't shuck it properly. Whatever the dialogue is here. And then it's like, huh, amusing moment. Now let's get back to what we were saying before.

Oh, I was like, wow, this show really is about... We'll have to go back and look at the tail of the tape to see if Giselle was having a direct reaction to Wendy's voice or criticism or not. Either way, both are entertaining. And we will find out. We'll find the answer to this very pressing dilemma. We just sucked all the entertainment out of that one.

We're like, wow, let's take an entertaining show and just suck it dry of all of that. So Wendy's like, I can receive that. But however, it's unfair to police how we respond to things, especially when someone came knocking at your door. I always see flashbacks of Ashley and Giselle trying to stir up drama about Eddie and extramarital affairs.

Right. And they were totally in the wrong. Right. They were absolutely 100 percent in the wrong. But, you know, she uses the analogy, especially when you're not the person that comes to the door. Now, listen, people come to the door. I don't want to talk to you. I had a neighbor who came up here the other day like I need a signature about this one way street situation. I wanted to get him down the hill, you know, and I could have. I could have been like, you're fucking with me when I'm very busy, sir. I told you I was busy. Get the fuck out of here.

You idiot. You fucking pasty ass. You literally look like a wet cracker. You look like a cracker that's been dipped in chowder. Okay, get off of my fucking lawn. Stop making them delicious. I know, right? You look like a cracker that's been dipped in a fresh chowder on a cold night when all you want is a bowl of warm soup.

But I could have yelled. I could have been really rude because he was taking my time by being an idiot. OK, like we're not going to change the one way so that your daughter can get to work more easily, sir. It's dangerous that we're not being a woman. Anyway, I could have told him, fuck you, sir. Get off my lawn. But, you know, I didn't. I was like, OK, hand it to me. Just I'll sign it. Just please. I got to go.

I didn't hug him. I mean, I did give in to him, but I'm just saying like this. Okay, let's say this instead. A salesman comes to your door. You could just say no thank you, or you could be like, get the fuck off my goddamn lawn. What the fuck do you think you're doing here, you idiot? This says no soliciting. What's the point? Just say no thank you and close the door, you know, sometimes. Sorry, never mind. Go ahead. That's all I have.

I just want to, honestly, I'm in an odd place today. I just want to shout her. I just had chowder on Friday. I had, I literally had your analogy. I literally had, I was putting little crackers into chowder. Yeah. So, um, Giselle is like, no, I'm not trying to police how you respond to people. I just don't like it, which I feel like is a really like, that's a really good, unassailable point. No, you can respond to anybody you want to. I just don't like the way you respond. That's it. And when she's like, Oh, okay.

Now you put it that way. In all fairness, I can say I don't like the way I feel like you sometimes try to alienate people. And then we see examples of that. And so Giselle's like, okay, I'm glad you brought that up.

Because if I don't like you, I don't want to speak to you, then I will say to you, if I do have an issue moving forward, which I hopefully won't, but if I do, I will tell you what it is, which is one of the great housewives fallacies of all times. You know what? I'm so glad we solved this. And going forward, if you have an issue, just come to me about it. Yes, I will do that. Let's hope.

The thing here is that she's placating Wendy because she does not want to be sitting here with Wendy. So she's just going to get through this and get out of there because the fact is Wendy's giving in too easily and just saying, okay, whatever you say that you'll change it. Let's just do that. Because really Giselle never doesn't say what's on her mind. She did say what was on her mind. What was on her mind is that her husband was probably cheating on her. And that's why she got all this surgery. Well,

what was on her mind was really fucking rude and she had no problem saying it to her face and being a total asshole about it so the giselle's like okay in the future i'll say it to your face but you've always said it to her face that's not the problem the problem is that you're an asshole could you be less of an asshole that's the question that wendy needs to ask like in order to move on could you do me this one thing be less of a dick could

Could you do that? Listen, yeah. And they're basically like two generals at war who all their soldiers have been killed off because they're like, okay, Gisela's lost Robin. Wendy's lost Candace. They have just barely survived by the skin of their teeth. So they're basically like, okay,

Like, we should probably move on. And also, there's probably a certain amount of it that's like, we were kind of fighting battles on behalf of our sidekicks, and now that they're gone, we can just actually bury the hatchet on this because it's too stupid. Yeah, but I did like Giselle's answer here when Wendy said, well, I feel like you alienate people. And she was like, if I don't like you, I'm not going to talk to you. I mean...

Because, yeah, I alienated you because I don't like you. Like, what do you want me to do? Like, sit there and yammer on with you? I don't like you. Because that's how I am. If I don't like somebody, I'm not going to be mean, but I'm not going to, like, sit around and talk to them, you know? So, I don't know. I give them both pluses, but I think Giselle got away with more in this sit-down because Wendy really didn't have to give up anything. Giselle didn't promise to do anything except call her an asshole to her face, which she already does.

Well, it's also a realization. Why are we going after each other when there's literally 16 new people on our cast that we could be attacking instead? Yeah, these girls are obviously auditioning girls to come take our jobs. Let's take them down, you know? Yeah. So Giselle is telling us that maybe we are a little bit bestie-ish. And Wendy's like, no, we're not besties.

So they laugh. And then Giselle is like, by the way, how did you feel about yesterday? And Wendy's saying, you know, like it was really good that they came together for Karen and that they really needed it and that Mia was really hurt and everything. And Giselle's like, well, I'm not questioning her as a mother. I'm just saying I don't want to deal with none of it. And just saying that none of it should be here is all my point. And also she's a bad mother. But I'm not questioning her as a mother. Ah.

Yeah. So what does she mean by this? She just doesn't want it on this. She doesn't think it should be on the show. I think that's what she's saying. It shouldn't be part of our discourse. Well, I saw a comment that I thought was so good. It said something like, oh, wow, this season Giselle is really showing an arc.

she's moving on from talking about people's relationships to talking about them as mothers. I thought that was so funny and well said, you know, Giselle, it's always just gotta be nasty. Yeah. So Wendy is, uh, she was like, so have you met ink? And Giselle says that Karen's met him and everything. And,

And Karen said that when they met, she looked over and didn't see anybody because he was too short. So she had to look down. Oh, my gosh. And she goes, is that why they pose like that in the pictures? And then we see another picture of her standing behind him and he's standing way forward so they can get a perspective thing. DJ Applebox.

DJ Applebox. Poor guy. You know, look, it's bad enough. You know, I stand for short kings. I don't think it's fair to be mean to people based on their height. Men really do get it for their height.

you're not helping yourself by naming yourself inc i mean what are you an llc get the fuck out of here with that name come up with something else it's just stupid you can't be short and have a stupid name like yeah that's true you can only have one pick one yeah pick one so now we go over to stacy's house and she's in the kitchen with aura and uh aura is uh the au pair i guess for

for the kid. So they're going to like, this is a, like, let's really learn about Stacy and Stacy's home life scene. Um, so basically we see, they're talking about a rip us and everything. And like, like teaching, um, Arabella, her daughter, how to speak Spanish. And,

And Stacey tells us that she's originally from Detroit, but then, you know, she's been all over. She lives in Philly with QVC and then they have a house in Munich because her husband's German and, you know, all this, all this fun stuff. Yeah. We got some messages last week that were saying, cause I was saying, you know, is she one of those that just moved here for the show? Cause the show was classic for that. Or we were talking about that.

And they were saying, no, no, she's actually from there. She's lived there forever. She just moved away for a while for work. So she's legit. She's actually too legit. Yeah.

to quit. She'll be on the show forever. She can never quit. Oh, yeah, that's totally how it works. Yeah. So anyway, she talks about how her husband's separated, but they're still trying to co-parent very in a civilized way. So he actually lives in the house and they have two houses and they're like, you know, like she tries to be

Like, down in the D.C. place while he's home, and then when he's traveling, she goes up to the Potomac place, and they're just kind of trying to find that balance. Yeah, these two, I mean, wow, they have...

they are separated and they live in the same house and they're both dating other people in the same house. I mean, this is a modern ass family. That's for sure. Right. And it seems like it sounds like everything is fairly functional and, um,

Things have not gotten terrible yet, but they will because she's on TV now in this capacity. And so it'll go downhill pretty soon, I imagine. Well, and also, she's not telling her kid, which is another housewife thing. Yeah, I'm not going to tell her. I don't think it's the right time to tell her that we're separated. Yeah, I'm going to wait for that to come out. You're on television! And you know that there's that one little housewife's watcher at school who's like, well, guess what? Not only was your mother late to attitude, but she also...

is not even married to your father. So I don't even know what you're thinking here. You better back it up, bitch. You better clip, clip, clip. All right? It will come out, yeah. So then we go over to Karen's house and Kierna comes over. Kierna is a new housewife. She got elevated to housewife role. And Kierna's very sweet. I'm still surprised that she's a full-fledged housewife. There's like a conspiracy theory in my mind that's like,

After she got injured in that brawl, Bravo was like, quick, make her a housewife so she doesn't sue us. That's my theory. But, you know, I'm open to her being a good housewife, etc., etc. I'm just surprised. Considering prior to the brawl, her biggest impact last season was that she had diarrhea and was upset that Giselle was the only one who asked her about it.

Yeah, well, I will say also in her favor, she is fabulously dressed. Yes, and she's showing way more personality now. She really is like watching a film.

She's beautiful. She looks professionally costumed. I mean, she looks freaking stunning. She is gorgeous. Yeah, I've got my hopes up, but we'll see. So Karen, and of course, Karen is best friends with the newbie because Karen is always just trying to suck the stem cells out of whatever baby cast member she can get her hands on. And, you know, I'm your mentor. You just ran into a tree. So...

No. You need to get off of that shit. Okay? You're not teaching anybody shit. Kiarna is the best type of friend to have. She's fiery, she's spicy, and the internet GNA is certainly portable.

And we see flashbacks to all that and that whole mess. And Karen is telling us that, you know, out of all this, we just continue to build our friendship and it's like grown naturally and she's like my girl. And Karen, they're basically like saying cheers and everything. They have like a lemonade toast. And Karen is...

As evidence of how much Karen loves Kierna, Kierna calls her during the interview, and Karen's like, Oh my goodness! Kierna's calling! Hi, girlfriend! How are you? Oh my goodness! It's so amazing that I get to be friends with such a young person! Hello! You know what's crazy? My phone is on do not disturb, but when Kierna calls...

It comes through. That's how close we are. That is how close I am with young Kierna. We're just best friends, tired of the hip, been friends forever. I close my eyes, I'm thinking of Kierna. I wake up, I'm thinking of Ray's Farts. Actually, the second thing after that is, God, I wish Kierna was here to wave away Ray's Farts.

Always on my mind. And then I think, I wonder if Kiana can make better coffee than Ray. Because last time I checked, he made a horse coffee. I don't even know what horse coffee is. Is it coffee that horses drink? Or is it coffee that horses make? Either way, Kiana probably makes a better cup. So Kiana's like, oh my god, Karen, sorry. So now cut back. They start talking about her man.

And we see a picture of her with her man, Greg. And they are working on their way to cohabitating. And she's like, you're going to live together? That is huge, girlfriend. Call me for the housewarming. I can't wait to have wine o'clock with you. Just me and you, girlfriend. Possibly pajamas, curlers, curlers in our hair. Can we watch Grease late at night? Just me and you sitting on the bed. Have any zits to pop? Yeah.

You know, I always was called the Stockard Channing of my high school. And now I feel like I understand it. So she says, Kierna's saying like, Greg is my man, man, man, man, man. Yeah, I love him. Like, I love Greg so much. And we see them together, you know, hugging, kissing, with boxes, moving in, all that kind of stuff. And they are, basically, they're building a house together from the ground up. So she's moved in with him while they're building their house together.

Yes. So she is excited she doesn't have to pack her little hoe bag anymore.

So she is talking about how Greg won't let her keep everything because she's got so much stuff, you know. And Karen's like, oh, I did something sort of similar with Ray. I said, Ray, if you want me to live with you, I'm going to have the engagement ring first, eh, Ray? And she's like, yeah, I mean, I'm like, this is, the house is cute, but where's the ring?

But she did already move in with him. So I don't know where you're standing. It's like you and Greg. Keanu says, yeah, my mother is like, this is cute, but like, where's the ring? Oh, your mother. Hmm. Yeah. Basically people who are similar to your age, Karen also say the same thing. What? That's ridiculous. How could I be a similar age to your mother? Your mother should come in here and mother us both. Did your mother have you when she was your age?

Was it a simultaneous birth? I've never heard of that before, because as far as I can tell, we're the same age. So then talk to Karen, obviously, and she's like, oh, I'm feeling okay. You know, little twitters.

But that's nothing new. I'm sorry, is it still going? Is this eye open or am I blind, Adam? I can't really tell. Is it open? Is it open now? You know, my eyeball permanently lives on my upper chin now, but that's okay. I'm celebrating life because I just did the triple 20 plus 1. I'm like, wow, this phrase is getting clunkier and clunkier. It's going to be the triple 20 plus 8 minus 3. 20, 20, 22.

And she goes, did you know about that? And Kieran's like, I went to a party. And she's like, oh, you didn't get invited. So it turns out... Another party that she's not been invited to. We see a flashback to Karen and Giselle having lunch or something. And Karen asks about Kieran, or Kay. And Giselle's like, I've got to check because I can only have a certain number of seats. To me, what this reads as is...

Is Giselle saying like, is she part of our cast? Because I have seats for everyone who's like for the auditions. And if she's not auditioning to be part of our cast, she can't be at the party.

Or I think Giselle's being snotty because this girl was in a fight. And even if she didn't start the fight, you know how Giselle is. She's like, that is a fight. I have to bring security if we have Kiara there. That's true. That's what I suspect, but who knows. So anyway, Karen says you should invite her. And she's like, okay, I'll make sure that I can see if she can come. But then she does not invite her. Right.

So, um, uh, so Karen's like, uh, yeah, Karen, Karen tells Karen about the GNA about, uh,

And Karen is saying, hopefully you are invited to that. And Karen was like, no. No, and it was really, the first GNA event was really humiliating to me, so I'm okay to skip this one. Yeah, and she's like, well, you know. So now she's like, so how are the girls, Karen? Well, what are they going to do? Give me an award every time I twitch? It's just a twitch. She's like, no, Karen, you were drunk. Yeah.

Did they clobber you about your drunk driving or not? It's like, oh, the girls, they were great. But, you know, right after the accident, in hindsight, it was probably a little soon for me because it didn't have the flavor of Inquisition. I said, if you're going to give me the flavor of Inquisition, could you also give me the flavor of a little grenadine to make it taste like an Inquisition temple at least?

of Inquisition, you know, and there's lots of questions about the accident from B.N. Jocklin, and I want to know who's the real bitch in my life, and this is going to be that moment, because if you fuck me over, it's deuces! Like, okay.

Okay. You're the one who was drunk driving. Yes. Who are the real bitches in my life? Well, the most consistent from now on will probably be law enforcement. I know. Where is Shasha? Why do we not have Shasha this season? This is like Shasha's moment to take a victory lap. This is all Shasha has wanted for about seven or eight years now. Why do we not get to see her relishing in this moment?

Cam, I heard you had some trouble thriving.

Karen, I know you can't drive your car anymore, so here's the hoverboard. Enjoy. We're going to have a sobriety party for Karen in my champagne room. Is that a pun? I was just doing that the other day randomly to myself walking around the home goods. I was like, oh, wow, I like this frame. Is that a pun? Yeah.

Where did that even come from? It was from a reunion, right? She said something in a reunion and Karen said, I won't take that. She said, Karen, it's a pun. And Andy goes, actually, that's not a pun. She made another slam later and then she goes, is that a pun? Nope.

That's not a pun either. It's like when somebody says, well, isn't that ironic? And you go, that's not ironic. And so they keep trying to come up with something ironic to say that they just never do it. Okay. It's time to commit. 2024 is the year for prioritizing yourself.

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Now we go to Stacy's house and Ashley shows up and they say hi. They're going to go on a walk and everything. And Ashley's talking about how they met at the Fox five studio. And she, Ash is like, she's like, well, you know, like a bunch of those like newscasters, like they all have like that news voice that they like turn on. Like some of them like can't turn it off. And I think they're like, Stacy's like one of those that can't turn it off. I was like, you are like the squeaky wheel on a Costco car and can't turn that off. She really is. Ash,

Ashley's like, and when she gets mad, she's like, when you try to take the cart too far into the parking lot and it just freezes up. Oh, I hate that so much. Yeah.

Yeah. Stacey does have this. It was a really good call. Because Stacey's like, are you ready for a hike today? Great. I can't wait to go for the hike. Let's discuss race with each other, shall we? Guys, after commercial, Ashley and I are going to discuss race. Don't go too far. So, Ash is like, so, who cuts your grass? Do you cut your grass? You know, I always cut my grass, so I always say that.

Really? So Stacey's like, um, that's the funniest thing that you've ever, well, like, I don't know who cuts my grass and I'm not even kidding. She's like, why? You don't know who cuts your grass? And then the producer's asking Stacey who cuts her grass. I guarantee, fast forward to the reunion, Andy Cohen, Stacey, welcome to the show. Gotta ask, did you find out who cuts your grass? And at home somewhere, Shasha's just going to say, is that a pun?

So Stacey's like, well, whoever it is, I'm grateful for them. She goes, I'm sure you are. Otherwise, you'd be out there doing it. God, we're off to a great start. I know. So...

like, so does your husband take care of all your stuff and everything? And Stacy's like, well, I've been separated for over a year and we aren't at the finish line. We aren't at the finish line. You know what I mean? She goes, but you're not living together. She goes, we are. She's like, y'all live here

I'm like, Ashley, I don't even want to hear it from you. You have lost the right to ask that question in that tone. Yeah, of all people, Ashley, you know. And she even says, girl, what are we doing? I know that when you live with somebody under the same roof, you still feel together in a weird way. Yeah, Ashley, you should know. You did it. Okay.

And then you are doing it almost. Actually, it's like, I feel like Ashley would say when you live with someone under the same roof, you feel together in a weird way. Also, when you don't live with someone under the same roof, but you stay undivorced from them for two years, you also feel like you're still with them in a weird way. Right. So they're still going through mediation and stuff. So Stacy's like, I wanted to ask you, what is your nationality? Let's discuss that. She goes, well, my dad's white and my mom's black.

And she says, so you're biracial. You're from the nation of biracial. She's like, yes, I'm from biracial nation. And she was like, well, Arabella. And so Ashley's saying that she identifies as a black woman. And Stacey asked how she identifies the boys, you know, like, are they would she consider the black? Would she consider the biracial?

Yeah, and she, I think she does consider them to be Black, but because they're really light-skinned and they maybe don't have certain features or different features that, like, they're not really... I think what Ashley's basically saying is that, like, they don't necessarily see themselves as Black or realize that they're Black. And so they start talking about, you know, wanting to have Black sort of...

presence for their kids. And in the case of Stacey, she wants, you know, she's not, she's concerned that her daughter is going to be raised not around a lot of Black women. So she won't have those experiences that she had growing up in Detroit.

Yeah. And then she talks about her husband being German. And so she's very proud of so much of German culture and she can speak the language and she wants that same pride for her daughter and being a black girl. And so then she talks about growing up in Detroit, like she would go to all her cousins and they were black. So they would braid her hair and she had that experience. Yeah.

But now she doesn't. You know, her kid doesn't. And so she wants her daughter to know who she is. And she doesn't want people to tell her who she is. She wants her daughter to know. Yeah. So then Ashley starts asking about Stacey's dating life. And she goes, okay, I am going to be completely vulnerable. I love someone. But he is a devout Christian. So we are not intimate at all. And she's like, what?

How long has it been? Well, it's been a couple of months and it's fine. It's totally fine. We've never even touched fingers. It's totally, I'm okay with it. I'm very happy with the situation. Yeah.

Stacey is so TV ready too. Like she just came TV ready. She's just like, okay, we've gotten the biracial discussion out of the way. We can now move on to the romance section. Producers, are you ready? Let's change angles. I'm going to sit right over here. Great. Relationship. You had questions? Oh, she had a question. Okay, everybody, are we ready? I'm about to get vulnerable. Okay, it's my vulnerable moment. I don't want to waste it. Okay, so we got the commercial first.

Coming up after the break, I discuss my new relationship with TJ, a devout Christian, who I haven't touched physically since I ever met him. We only have so many commercial breaks that we can put in. We're going to need to break this up somehow. Do you have maybe a shot of a dog that we cut to? Maybe a dog walking in the park and then we cut back?

They just intersperse her story about her and TJ with B-roll from some crime scene stories. I saw the person coming in over there, and I thought, he's never going to attack me. And then he did. That's what people say when they saw TJ walking down the street wanting to start a relationship with me. I don't know what I'm saying, Ronnie. I'm just going down a strange path, and I think I need to stop. Yeah.

So then she's like, okay, vulnerable moment. So yes, she has not had sex. And Ashley's like, wait a minute. I don't think they've even kissed. I don't think they've done anything. Yeah, that's a red flag. I'm sorry. I get that people wait until they're married or whatever. I mean, I get it. But not like that. Not to that degree. That's...

There's something weird, though. There's a broken penis, maybe. Maybe there's a low sex drive. Maybe they're getting it from somewhere else. But I'm telling you, no full-grown male is going to say, no, I just don't want to have sex until we're getting married. Or at least kiss, or at least give me a handjob. I don't believe it.

Yeah, I think, okay, like, I can understand the, like, okay, if you made, like, a vow of, like, you're not going to have sex till marriage, I can get that and everything. But I feel like early on in a relationship, like, not even having any sort of anything, not even making out, I don't know, it's something...

something seems a little off. I think red flag is definitely the dominant color that I'm seeing too. Yeah. I just, I don't buy it. I don't buy it. So, I mean, maybe there's other reasons that he doesn't want to have sex that I would buy that would be totally valid, but this I don't buy. Maybe he has another family.

There's something. I'll go with anything. I don't know what it is, but I will not believe religion. That I will not believe. I just won't. Because we're watching this Mormon show, and those are like the most religious out of the religious, I think. Yeah, they dress like they're minors. Well, maybe no. They're not. But they're up there. They're very religious. And even those girls are having sex at 20 and getting pregnant before they're getting married and stuff like that. I mean, there's just, when it comes to sex, no, I don't believe it.

especially to someone who works out that much because we see him in the previews and he's very cute and he's very worked out and i think when when guys work out especially they get way hornier because there's a lot of testosterone that comes from that i'm sorry i just i don't know why i feel guilty for not believing it but i don't believe it too because i feel like people are allowed to make choices that are not traditional and they're allowed to go against the norm and

And I actually applaud her for being like, this is the state of our relationship. And every relationship goes differently. But it does seem a little odd to me. And I know that there are also certain religious...

Like I, like I was just watching, was it like Jewish dating or whatever on, on Netflix where someone was talking about how like she and her husband didn't touch physically touch until their wedding day. And it was like, but it was so great because when they finally touched, it was like this big buildup.

And like, I can understand that, but I just feel like in the, but they're not to me, that's like, they're not modern dating. They're kind of like dating. And so you're just old school, like old world kind of dating. And I feel like seeing people who are having modern dating, but with super old world approaches, it's like my brain doesn't know any other response except to be catty. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I just don't believe it. I grew up very religious and I've never seen, I've seen people saying things, you know, also maybe it's just something she's saying. Maybe it's something they're saying. I don't know. I don't know. Who cares? We're belaboring it. Let's move on. So then, um,

So Ashley is like, do you want to marry him? So Stacey says that they met at his audition to become a host at QVC. And it was a genuine friendship. And then after six months, they both couldn't deny they wanted to be a part of each other's lives. And then we see them standing in front of one of the most basic sets you can, which is in front of the butterfly wing wall, you know? Oh, yeah. Truly the worst. Yeah.

Butterfly wings, I think it's... Why is it that that's the only thing that doesn't get vandalized? We're the graffiti artists when you need them. I'm resentful of real butterflies now. I'm like, do you have to be at every event? I'm so sick of it. Like, what'd I do? Sorry, trying to pollinate a flower over here. I also think what's so funny about the butterfly wing thing is how it just so shamelessly works. It's like, hmm...

We need more visitors to our store. I'm going to paint some wings. I'm going to paint some angel wings on our wall. And everyone's like, gotta take a photo. Guys, it's angel wings on a wall. Gotta take a photo with it. Sorry. Oh my God, we went viral. I need people to imagine what it would be like if I were an actual angel. Sorry, guys. I can't help it. I gotta take the photo. So Ashley is like, she hasn't had a new dick in 17 years and she's not seizing that pogo stick? Come on, guys.

So she goes, Ashley's like, but then what do you do? Which is also kind of funny. Like, what could you possibly do other than have sex? You know? And so Stacy's like, well, we have a lot of fun. We go to church. Really? I mean, do not marry this person. Okay. She goes, we work out. Going to church should not be the top of your list of things that you do. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's, um, well, it'll be a fascinating relationship to see, uh, unfold. Especially because she's kind of a sinner just for coming on to this show. Don't you think? I don't think that you can be a real, real housewife without being a sinner. I mean, your job is to come on here and be messy and nasty and start fights with people. So I don't know. Yeah. It's, it's not going to work out. Well, I'll tell you that right now. Uh, so, uh,

Thank God. Right. Thank God. When I watched it, I was like, Stacy, you are what we need. We need to, I need to watch a demise. That's what we need. That's what the housewives are watching. Happy people become miserable over time. And I think this is a great starting point. Yeah. You've started a really great high point and we're just going to watch that.

Yeah, because there's no way this is working out. It'll be like watching the Winter Olympics. A lot of people going downhill. So now we go to Giselle's home and Karen arrives. A car drops her off. It says Karen's car service. And so she comes in and

And Giselle's making cookies, which is an ongoing thing between the two of them since season one. Season one was very preoccupied with the cookies and a cookie competition that we never actually saw. But we have a nice callback to that right now with the cookies.

So Giselle comes over. Wait, is that true? Karen comes over to Giselle. Oh, Karen comes over. Yeah. So then they compliment each other, et cetera, cookie stuff. And then Giselle's like, well, I was looking to see how you got here. What's an Uber? What's a Ray? Because you had a driver. His name was Blue Eyes, remember? Yeah.

And you remember, you can't actually drive yourself far because you got a DUI, America, DUI. Giselle will say anything to remind Karen and the audience that she cannot drive because she got a DUI.

And Karen will remind everybody that Beyonce referenced her in a song. She's like, well, I had an Uber because of it. Listen, if Beyonce has an Uber, if Beyonce can Uber, so can I. I can Uber as well. Because you remember, I'm basically Beyonce because Beyonce referenced Black Bill Gates in one of her songs, which is basically referencing me. So me and Beyonce, we're basically as close as me and Karen are now. My girl, Cowboy Carter, I've been doing the do-si-do and the...

The two-step. Ever since. I love you, B. I love you, girl. Texas Hold'em, one of my favorite songs. In this case, it refers to my driver's license being held. Well, or Texas Hold'em Up, which is basically what they did to me. I thought they were trying to arrest a tree. I said, you can't arrest trees. These are national treasures.

This ain't Texas, which is what I said to the officer when I stumbled out of my car. So...

So... Anywho... They make small talk about the Hattitude Party, and Karen's like, well, your intentions were great. But your delivery, having a non-alcoholic drink for Karen, really, Giselle, really messy, Mr. Zell. Is that the kind of messiness that we need? Would Keanu do that? This is a good time to mention that someone on... Keanu, do that.

Someone on Twitter pointed out that when everyone holds up their champagne flutes...

The title card, Karen's is empty. Or it's full of water. I tried to see it. I couldn't quite see it. But they did a zoom in and you could see it. And that is honestly hilarious. So Karen's like, how could you come up with a non-alcoholic option named after me? And then they have her with water in her champagne flute.

That's funny. So then I was like, oh, it wasn't a dig. It was giving people options. It's like, well, people can read. You already gave them options on the menu. Oh, God. Just can't help me, Shady. But that's why I like her.

So, it is so funny. Like, I just love the way these two just snipe at each other left and right. And so Karen's like, you know, I did love the attitude thing, you know, but you gave Wendy a bucket and that was a bit much. She goes, well, first of all, Dr. Wendy, I spoke with her. Just me and her spoke. And we had lunch, you know, in a real farty restaurant. And I...

chopped up some oysters and put them in my mouth. You know, one of those sort of lunches. And you know, if you don't discuss things, ah, whether it be in the air, you assume things, ah. And so she's like, well, you know, I told her that when she has a conflict, she talks down to them. And she said she received it. And she said, we're going to try to do better. So what can I do? She's like, wow, look at that growth. Now, listen, in my house, I have a chart against a door and I have a pencil.

And every time Kiana comes over, I mark it just to see how much she's grown. God, we're close. And just also like speaking of the party, Jacqueline, before you got here, said that she had a lot of questions for you, but she didn't ask them. So have you seen her? And so Karen reveals that Jacqueline is in a time out. And the reason why is because there was a statement she made that said, look, I'm going to wait until the verdict for the outcome is

So we see a flashback of Jacqueline saying, you know, none of us saw what happened, so I don't think anyone should cast judgment, which I interpreted at that time to be like, we're like...

We, as a nice thing, like we have your back. We don't judge you. She said nothing wrong. She said absolutely nothing wrong. It was like a, no, Karen, we would never judge you because, and there's not even a verdict. So you're in a safe space. That's, that's what that meant to me. Yeah. She didn't say anything wrong, but I'll bet one of the producers was like, well,

you know, that was shady wishes. Like, leaving Karen to say, like, nobody should cast any judgment is actually a negative thing. Karen's like, I want people to cast judgment and I want that judgment to be very pro-Karen. That's what Karen wants. Yeah.

So then basically they start eating some cookies and stuff. And then we start talking about the shade of not inviting Kay. And she's like, there was no shade there. Our GNA event is this week and there's a cocktail hour. So come cocktail-ish. And the National Brain Tumor Society that I'm partnering with

That'll also be there. So we find out about the change of GNA. GNA is moving out of athleisure where I would, I would, I would not say it made a splash, a ripple. Never really entered it. Yeah. I think their website still pretty much just sell stickers. Yeah.

GNA got in the car and they didn't dip their toes in the pool. They just entered the pool's location on Google Maps and drove a few feet and decided, let's go somewhere else today. Listen, they got as far as athleisure wear as the rest of us did. We put on athleisure wear and we stay in bed. They put the W-H-E-R-E into athleisure wear. So...

So they've decided that they're going to move towards health and wellness. And I think that they actually, I think the athleisure was like a ploy to cash in on something, to try to capitalize on something. But at least this one has some personal backstory to it because...

uh, since Giselle's dad, uh, passed from a brain tumor, she felt it was more meaningful to sort of focus on health and wellness. So that's what, what does that mean? Well, meaning like rather than only brain tumors, like what, what does that mean? It means that like, what are things that we like rather than just like selling like a sports bra, like let's sell things that will be good for our bodies that will give us long lasting lives. I'm assuming.

I need specifics. I don't know what the hell they're talking about. We're selling health and wellness. Be more specific. Yeah, because I have a feeling it's going to be vitamins and a bunch of MLM shit. That's what this is sounding like. This is sounding very Whitney Rose to me. So then Karen's like, I love that this is happening for your father's memory. And

So then Karen goes, oh, well, I'm ready. Okay, I got it. Oh, but I told you I was being given an award, right? Remember, mine is early on Friday, but I won't miss your event. I'll still come to your event as the credits roll. Probably. When they're thanking the Canadian translation teams, I should be there holding a gigantic award.

During the part where it says, Lisa Barlow has a promotional deal with Wendy's. I shall walk right in. So Karen tells us, well, the Fem Power Award is an award that is given to entrepreneurs in the community who not only do business, but give back to the community, as well as on a social level.

It's a social giving back, which means that you walk around the community and say, and hello to you too. That's what you call socially giving back. The Femme Power Award. What? It sounds like something that's given out at the Abbey. To entrepreneurs in the community. I'm sorry, what's your business again? These are people who do business. The perfumes. Come on. And get back on a social level.

Come on. So if you have a bank sale and say hello to someone, you're qualified. Giselle's like, I got an invitation to this like three months ago, and guess who wasn't on the list? Karen the Freak Cougar. So basically, she straight up says, so people could make it. So she asked if she could do it.

Yeah, she basically is like, yeah, some people were being honored and couldn't make it, so they called in Karen. And she goes, and now there's so many citations, I don't even know how many. And then they flash on the screen. And she's like, yeah, let's honor Karen. A deer comes in holding a scroll with all the citations on it. It's like...

Here's all the citations. Driving vehicle while impaired by alcohol. Reckless driving in a vehicle. Willful disregard of safety and property. Driving the vehicle while under the influence. Failure to licensee. It's amazing. So anyway, Karen's basically like, well, you know, with everything that I'm going through, I don't even know what's going on. But I'll be at your event. I'll be at both. No.

And then, then you go 6 a.m. The next day and a text tone goes off. And Giselle is like, why am I waking up to a text from Karen at 6 30 in the morning to me and all the other ladies? And so the text reads,

There are two events scheduled at the same time. I encourage all support to both events. Transportation has graciously been offered by the Foundation of Transportational

And also, the owner of the minivan will also be rewarded for running a minivan business and giving back by allowing women to go to two events at once. So this was a group text. She wrote everybody, okay, well, there's two events. Choose wisely, bitches. And so now...

We have to see who's going to choose who. And Giselle's like, I thought we were friends. I just threw you a freaking birthday. This is not what friends do at all. And Karen tells us, well, I'm sorry it's on the same day, but should I not have my event because Giselle is having an event? No, I'm getting an award by some strange organization that's...

Giving it for generic reasons. That's important to me. So then Giselle writes her shady response, which is no need for ladies to be running all over town. Please go to Karen's event.

And Wendy's like, well, I'm not really sure what the award is. And the invitation on screen says, the Femme-Powered Inaugural Award Ceremony hosted by Emmy Award-winning WUSA9 anchor Elsie. I'm sure. So it's a local news lady coming up with her own damn award, and this is year one. Year one, a Mother's Day tribute on May 10th.

What are they going to congratulate Karen for? Getting rid of trees in an overpopulated area by trying to run one down? For redefining what it means to be on the road to success. Listen, there's no straight line to success. The road to success is many, many blurred lines.

We must stop trees from impeding on our success. Ladies, may I get a career? Are you real bitches in here? Are you real bitches? You know, on my path to success, so many people said, Karen, stay in your lane. And I said, absolutely not. I said the same thing to failure as I did to that road. I refuse to stay in one lane. You know...

Sometimes the going is tough and sometimes you need a shoulder to lean on or in some cases to drive in. It's the same thing. I'm telling you young ladies today, the same thing I told my car. Keep climbing. Even if it's difficult at first. Unfortunately, my car never could climb that tree, but it tried that day. It tried.

Sometimes it's good to not have the guardrails. That's where when your car goes off the road, you just keep on going. No don'ts. So then Giselle's like, how dare she? She is doing an event to compete with my dead father. I will use her dead parents against her now. She is now defaming my dead father. It's a battle of the passed away parents. I honestly, I

I am going to give the award to Giselle. I think Giselle, her event was on the books first. It is in honor of her dad, regardless of whether it's an MLM or not. It is in honor of her dad. And I think this is so shady and shitty of Karen. Karen just had an event. She just had a hat party event.

So, but like, this is so classic then, which is why they always have to be on the show together. Whenever I was saying fire Giselle, I was like, honestly, you can't because Giselle and Karen, they're just too epic together. And, uh, I mean, it was classic because we got this fight and then we got Giselle calling security. It's like, is it the same guy too? Probably. So now, so now, um,

There are basically, it's the day of the event and everything. And Giselle is doing a walkthrough and she loves everything. She's talking to someone from the National Brain Tumor Society, Dina, Deanna, whatever. And Giselle is talking about how, you know, she lost her dad. And really it was like, I didn't realize it was like a 12-day thing. Or if I had mentioned it, I had forgotten that basically he had a CAT scan and 12 days later he had died, which is really, I mean, that's traumatic. Yeah.

It's so sad, so scary, so awful. And so like my heart really does go out to Giselle for that. That's, that's just a really hard thing to go through. And so this is really going to be to like, it's to honor all that. And also this wonderful foundation that's trying to, you know,

destroy cancer kill all cancer if you will in a good way heck so then um so uh ashley comes and she loves the place and all that and then uh just i was like well i don't know how you feel about this but i can i can i say something i didn't realize this at the moment but looking at the notes now ashley walks in and she goes oh my god it's so beautiful wow this is like so romantic

Actually, it's a fundraiser for her dad who passed away. And you're like, this is so romantic. Yeah.

So Giselle is like, well, I don't want to even see none of them hoes talking about the ladies. She's like, listen, I invited them last week. Everyone said they were coming. And this is some important thing. And everyone's treating this like a bar crawl. And she's like, well, I don't know how to approach the situation. I mean, Karen knew about this award. It feels intentional.

Yeah. She goes, you know, and considering that Karen has been so vocal about relationships with parents. And then we do see some of this footage used against Karen because at the start of this last week, at the start of the episode, Karen was again talking about how she doesn't feel like she truly processed the death of her parents. And we see footage of her again, talking about how she's not going to go out because she's mourning all that stuff. So Ash is like, I'm surprised that Karen is not respecting the sanctity of this event for Giselle. And honestly, I think that is also a fair point.

So then Giselle's like, I'm even being nice to Karen. Does anyone need some? Karen is a drunk with a DUI glass of water. It's a special brand for pop-up for this. I know. I love Giselle. She's like, I'm being so nice to Karen. I just had a party and tried to public humiliate her by having a non-alcoholic thing named after her name and have everybody come at her about alcoholism. I don't understand what the problem is.

So the start time is 7.30, and Giselle wants everyone to be there at 7.30. And Ash is sort of hoping that they will show up there. But meanwhile, the rest of the ladies are...

are showing up at a black Sprinter van. And this is hilarious because the women act kind of like so helpless in this situation. Like, well, I guess we have to go to Karen's. I mean, I think the producers were like, you have to go to Karen's first, then you will go to Giselle's. You cannot skip Karen's. So they're kind of like, oh, I guess we're going to go do this. Okay, good luck. So we meet Jazzy's driver, Fahmy, or Jazzy's driver, Fahmy. And she's like,

Okay, everybody, let's go. So basically, the ladies take off for Karen's, and it says that they'll be there. Or they're leaving at 6.33 p.m. Dun, dun, dun.

Yes. And Karen is saying, oh, with everything that I'm facing with horrendous articles being written about my character. And then we see headlines. Real Housewives Karen charged with DUI following car crash. That's not horrendous. Right. You you ran into a tree after. What are you saying? That's not slander. That's true. Yeah, it's not true. None of those headlines are mean. Those are factual headlines, man. Yes.

And so she's like, well, to be seen in my community for who I am, for who I truly am and the work I do, I feel totally blessed. Like Karen, the landscapers of Potomac Society has given you this special award for helping them take down trees in the area. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you for honoring what I actually do. People have seen who you truly are.

It was caught on a police cam. Come on now. So then people start to arrive. Vivian arrives at Giselle's. Which was nice. And crazy because Vivian is like the wedding dress designer. Isn't she? Like she's Karen's wedding dress designer. Well, Vivian is like, yeah, Vivian is like her wedding dress. Yeah, she was like, she has the boutique. But Vivian's like,

I was invited here first. So I came here first. Like that's the classy and proper thing to do. Yeah. I'm telling you, Ronnie, I got really into this. I was like, that's a good friend. I was watching the TV and I literally was like, that's a good friend right there. That's a good friend. Yeah.

So then Giselle's like, well, she, you know, Giselle agrees. That is a good friend. That's who did it right over there. So then back in the sprinter van, Stacey is talking about the text message, the group text message. And Stacey's like, I mean, I'm just in all transparency. I just don't understand how we receive an invitation at Karen's birthday. And then I get another invitation the day before the event and

I mean, guys, you're going to find out my decision on this when we cut back from commercial. Okay. I think I get the sense that Stacey does not like this at all. I think that Stacey would just want to go to Giselle's, but Stacey is too new and doesn't want to ruffle feathers. So she's like, I guess I just have to do this situation here. So Jacqueline comes also to Giselle's party. Of course, she's not invited to Karen's because, you know, Jacqueline deigned.

To say a very simple thing. And then, um, then basically they FaceTime the, the women in the band, they FaceTime Ashley to let her know what the plan is. It's seven o'clock by the way. So Ashley, uh, so, so Mia basically tells everyone like, yeah, we're gonna, or Jassy says, we're going to be there. Eight ish, eight 30. And Ashley's like, well, the event ends at nine. So really, if you guys aren't here by eight, like don't even bother coming. Yeah. Yeah.

And so they're like, oh my God, surely we can do it. It's like, this is such a disaster. Like you just see, this is not going to work out. Right.

So then they're like, guys, we really, we can only stay at Karen's for a second. And Wendy's like, have you ever seen DC traffic? This is not going to work. So then it becomes this for a while, you know, just who's where, who's doing what. Now, meanwhile, we go to Karen's event. We see nothing of this event. Okay.

by the way, it's a shitty event, by the way, it is like held like in like a tiny little ballroom of a hotel. I don't even know what it is. It's like a drop ceiling and everything. It's just like a stuffy, bland, forgettable. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like a big nothing. Giselle's event is significantly nicer looking. Wait a minute, sir. Are you on the invite list? It's your dad. He's like, I'm just here to check the printer. It's like taking stuff out of the printer and going back out to his room. My dad got an invite. He's just staying at the Marriott. They're doing it in the office center.

Well, my parents actually are going to Baltimore for a wedding, I think. So it could happen. So anyway, Ashley tells Giselle and...

And Giselle's pissed. She's like, that is so rude, Ashley. That's so fucking rude, Ashley. Not rude. It's fucking rude, Ashley. She's like, I know, I know. I'm your teammate. I don't want our cause to feel disrespected. We're in this together, Giselle. Yeah.

So then after Karen does her thing, some of them are like, okay, well, I guess we... And Karen's like, well, obviously I'm more likable than Giselle. So all the girls chose to support me and they left her ass high and dry. I mean, that was not my objective. Well, the people have spoken, so listen to the people. Not the ones saying, here you, here you, be seated and all that. Those people don't listen to you. But the other ones...

Let's do this. My real business. My ride or dies. Each one of them will die for me in a fire. Puga soldiers. So then Karen, then at the event, she of course is doing this bullshit thing where she's like, okay, now you all must make it to Giselle's event. You must, because this is about empowering both hosts, even if one is less popular than the other. Myself and them. So is there anything I need to know? Have you talked to Giselle? Please empower her in whatever silliness she's doing over there.

Sad, lonely people need your support. Get there. Get there. Portraiselle, she has nothing. Nothing. You'll be like a warm blanket to her. Please, and do take a photo of her receiving her award. Oh, she's not getting an award. She's just throwing something for herself. Oh, well, that's so lovely of her. Please abower her.

So, um, uh, Kieran is like, well, I'm not going to that. So I'll stay here. And Wendy is like, uh, she didn't even get her award yet. So I'm not leaving. I want to see her get the award. I mean, is it going to come out of a chafer dish? Is it going to be an actual pancake? What's it going to be like? Nobody knows. I have to see this award. It's the inaugural one.

So then the other women are back. And there's some of those like Mia, Jassy and Stacey. They get in the sprinter van. They go over to Giselle's and there's like traffic. There's rain and all this stuff. I'm like, I'm on the edge of my seat during this. I can't lie. I was so invested in this. So Ashley is then thanking everyone for coming and they make a whole speech. So there is kind of like a,

A presentational moment. They talk about Giselle. Giselle talks to the audience, talks about how her dad passed away from brain cancer and the partnership with the National Brain Tumor Society. So this is like a significant moment for the event, and the women are completely missing it because they're in the Sprinter van. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, so then, um, Mia's like, ask the driver what's the ETA? And he says A. And Stacey's like, oh my gosh. Okay, now ask the driver who he thinks Jeremiah's father is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So then they get there and they roll in like three deep. They feel a little bad about it, but they get there at eight o'clock and they're actually pretty proud of themselves. They're like, you know what? We only got here 30 minutes late, which honestly, if the events are at 7.30, coming at eight o'clock, even I can see that it's not the worst. I think within 30 minutes for event three,

they did do it. Not ideal, but they did do it. Yeah. And Ashley told them, well, if it's going to be past eight, I wouldn't do it. And they got there right at eight. So I feel like they went within the rules, you know, I agree. I think it was like, I think it was a little shitty that they just didn't go there in the first place, but we saw them making a genuine effort to try to appease, make both of their friends happy. And I think they were not egregiously late. So they,

So they get their eight. And so Giselle's talking to someone, taking a photo with like a fan. And then Giselle sees them walk in and she goes, oh no, wah, no, wah, hold on one second, I'll be right back, back. And that poor gay was like, what, what?

But this was going to go on my Instagram. I love this. She's always got security to call. It's just so Giselle. And that's how we... She walks up to the women and is like, no, get out, get out. Ladies, the event is almost over. Please leave. Leave. Security. William. And the guard comes over and it's like, is he going to kick them out? Is it going to happen? Are they actually going to be ejected?

There you go. I don't think they will be. It's very Real Housewives of Atlanta when Nene wouldn't let anybody in that house because they were all late and they had to fight in the driveway. Oh, yeah. But they were hours late or whatever. They were three hours late when that happened. Yeah, that's true. Everyone showed up. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not saying this is a sandwich. I'm just saying it recalled that memory for me. It's a fight, okay? Whoa. Whoa. It's all coming out. Everyone, thanks so much for being here today. Super fun. And we got a whole slate of shows this week. So just, you know, if you haven't subscribed, go subscribe on whatever platform you're using. Thanks for being here, and we'll catch you on the next one. Goodbye. Thank you. Love you. Goodbye. Bye.

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