#2587 RHOC S18E14: Ladies of London
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Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the hilarious and sort of British Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello.

See, that was very British sounding. I'm saying that because you went to London. You went to London this year, as did I. Not very British at all. Barely British. I really appreciated when I was over there, when you speak in a stupid American accent like I have. Because I don't mean all American accents are stupid. I just have a stupid person accent. Like I'm kind of like, I don't know what it is, but I have this accent where people just look at me like, stupid.

And I really loved that look from those people. And I really loved it there. And I want to go back there. I want to go back so badly. I also, watching this episode of Real Housewives of Orange County...

It just really made me want to go to a nicer hotel. I mean, they are in a really nice hotel and I looked it up. It's a five-star hotel and they were in a penthouse. But like I hated our hotel so much. Like I hated it. So I just want to like go to London and have, I guess, maybe a hotel room that has like a window. That would be nice. That's my goal.

Well, there you go. It's a good goal. It's achievable. Okay. And even if it wasn't, achieve the non-achievable. That's what we do here every day. You can press on video on patreon.com. Also, that's where our bonus episodes are. Right now, we're doing below deck sailing as Patreon bonuses because we are full on the schedule.

So go check that out. Thanks to everyone who supports us over there. Let's get in with this show, Ben. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. So it actually starts with a bunch of boobs.

Yeah, we're not starting in London, surprisingly. We're actually at the breast care center. And so Heather has welcomed a bunch of ladies in because she's arranged like a mammogram sesh, like a group mammogram, because it turns out that a bunch of them have like never had a mammogram or like Shannon hasn't had one in 10 years, which is...

really shocking but um you know so heather's like whatever we're gonna we're gonna do this we're gonna have a mammogram and so uh i was like okay here we go with the doctor so much like you literally get a facelift every single year most of you on this channel you can't like have your boob squeezed on the thing like that's important now that said you know i never go to the doctor i hate going to the doctor i hate it

I'm supposed to go to like three different doctors right now. And I'm like, no, I'll just keep collecting whatever medication the general gives me, you know, and now I'm taking all these medications. But anyway, the point is, you know, you're going to the doctor anyway. I just wish they had a boob doctor that could also do, you know, like I want to get my waddle fixed. If the guy told me, Ronnie, your heart could explode any second.

And I was like, but will they fix my waddle? I would go. I would go to the cardiologist. Give me an eye lift while I'm getting whatever fucking heart shit you need me to do. But I'm not going to do that because healthcare in this country has made it prohibitive. So instead, if I pay that much for something, I'm going to die without a waddle. You know what I mean? I'll have a heart attack. You've got to appeal to people's vanities. You've got to appeal to people's vanities. That's the thing. It was hilarious to me at the height of...

of like lockdown or COVID or whatever, like all this, like, I don't know about that vaccine. Should I get the vaccine? I don't know. But then once monkey box came around, it was like, oh, you might have shit on your face. Everyone's like, sign me up. You know, it's like, I don't want to be ugly. All COVID needed to do, like all they did, like, listen, people were like, oh my God, COVID was like the vaccine is a government conspiracy. If it was a government conspiracy, I guarantee you they would have, they would have added something to COVID.

that would give you a rash on your face or like would make you have a permanent like bags under your eyes and everyone would rush to get that vaccine. All you gotta do to get people to treat their bodies better is just mix in some vanity treatments

and it'll work. So yeah, I'm totally for that. Like you can't, you can't get your Botox until you get a mammogram. Like you have to go through the mammogram to get your Botox. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. Solving problems. Yeah, that's all it is. I told you guys, we tackled the big issues here. Yeah. But yeah, I would be totally healthy if I got something done every time I went in there, like take my tits up and do my heart.

You know, I'm in. So Heather comes in and she's like, "Hello, gals. That's what we call nurses now, right?"

Hello, hello, doctor servants. How are you doing today? And they're like, oh, God, it's Heather Dubrow again. Hello, I am married to a doctor, so I have some awareness in the medical field. So they are all gathering. Although I would appreciate it when Emily is here, if you could call them mommy grams, just so she can start crying again. Also, do you have any size 12 gowns? Write the size 12 on a gown when you give it to Emily.

Somewhere Alexis is sobbing that she was not invited to the mammogram event. She's like, I'm the one who literally my name has drugs in it. Like that's my nickname. When you're not even inviting me to the mammogram event. This is how I'm out. I'm out. I'm out of this. Heather goes. And also my friends are coming. Is the doctor available? What are you, what are you there for a fucking pizza party? Yes. The doctor's available.

Came to see the fucking doctor for a doctor's appointment, Heather. Stop the improv. Get Heather a script.

I don't want to adjudicate this much longer. So people are arriving. Heather's had some family members who have had breast cancer this year. So this is top of mind for her. And people are showing up. And while they're sort of sitting in this waiting area, Gina is asking Shannon if she ever sent that text to Alexis saying that she can't come to the trip.

And she was like, I certainly did. And Jen's like, oh, yes. Thank you so much for sending that. We were actually with her when she received the text. Actually, we said, hey, go upstairs and look. I think there's a text for you. It could be a really nice text. Just kidding. And then she came downstairs and kicked us both out.

Yeah. Gina's like, did she write hippie-yuck? She goes, last night she did. And here is the response. Hello, Shannon Bedore. Since you're hosting this amazing trip to Europe with our friends, surely you can scrounge up the funds to pay my future husband his $75,000 that you borrowed and owe him. Safe travels. Heart hands emoji. I don't think Shannon had an issue with finding the $75,000. I think her issue was...

On principle, she didn't want to pay it. And she has kids she has to support. And she would rather put that money towards the kids than paying back John Jansen. But even beyond all of that, even if she did, she did say she would pay it back. She offered to pay him the full amount back if he signed a mutual dispensary. And that too. And he would not do it. So these people saying you don't have the money, she offered you the money and you wouldn't take it. So you could still have a job slandering her on TV, you stupid hooker face. Okay. Yeah. So that's on you.

- Mm-hmm, yep. So Shannon's like, "Well, I get it. Alexis is mad that she's not going, but really? Can you pay my future husband in month four? Okay."

So Jen's like, oh my God, I really thought she was coming, Shannon. She's like, oh, that would be hashtag delusional. That would be hashtag delusional of her to think she's coming. But you know what? I don't need to flower things because trust me, I'm not eating breading anymore. There shall be no battering except for my emotions.

So she was like, you know, when a girl is calling me a liar to my face and going, I got receipts and getting in the middle of a lawsuit that I had with a person. I was, by the way, stop the three and a half fucking years. I was with them for over four and a half years of my life.

Yeah. And she's like yelling. She's like starting to lose her mind. And Heather's like, shh, we're at a hospital. We're at a hospital. You start ramping her up. I mean, Shannon, it's like every episode she has three of these, you know, where she's just like, well, let me tell you something very calmly because I have been in therapy and totally understand. If that stupid whore wants to come with me, this is about someone I've been with for four years. Not in a hospital. People are reading.

So then Dr. Lopez comes in. I was like, hi, everyone. So I hear you're here for screenings and mammograms. And Jen's like, yes, by the way, I have a question. I have a lump in my left breast. Everyone's like, what?

It was like, "Jen, how do you not say this? How do you not mention this until now?" Like, there's like, it's on the books. "We are going to get a group of mammograms. Why are we?" She's like, doesn't bring it up until this moment. I mean, it's scary. And then, but it's just so, it's so Jen to be like, "Oh yeah, by the way, I do have a lump on my breast." And I was like, "Um, Jen."

Why don't you tell us these things? Yeah, I'm from the gen school. I think a lot of people are. Just the school of avoidance. You know, like, it can't get me if I don't know about it. Yeah. I win. So then she's like, you know, I just... I ignored the slump because I just...

you know i really want to be sensitive to what other things are going through you know i've been really upset from getting evicted and i just i don't want to evict a lump you know it's just that is that bad karma is that bad karma i wouldn't do that to it you know sometimes i just say thank you thank you love thank you i just feel like i have enabled this lump for so long and i've just you know i just feel like it's been 17 years and now i don't know like is it too late for me to lay down the law i feel like this lump just really would resent me and i just want to have

a good relationship with this lump until it goes off to college. So basically she's like, you know, I've got too much and I don't want to have to sit my kids down and deliver more bad news. Which, you know, I mean, logically it's like, well, the news would be way worse if you didn't get it taken care of and it's something bad. Your kids would have way worse news, obviously. But, you know, logics don't necessarily come in when there's fear in play with stuff like that. So,

By the way, shocking that Bravo did not turn this into a multi-episode arc of like, I've got a lump. I think there's a lump. I'm scared. I'm scared there's a lump. What do I do? Conversations with Ryan. Conversations with the girls. Really?

Gray line, yeah. It's a famous Bravo, almost cancer. I mean, Kyle Richards. Kyle Richards, like, you know, she... I feel like we've seen her get at least one mammogram, if not multiples. And she's, like, crying and sobbing. And it's a whole thing. And she's scared. Which, by the way, I don't take any of that away from her. Because I think it's a very scary and confronting thing. But it's like... Especially with us on camera.

Yeah. And you know, her mom died of cancer. So I get all that. But like, she definitely like it's like a thing for Kyle and Jen's just like, Oh, by the way, I have an actual lump. And it's like, just drops it right in there.

hey what are you gonna do and uh they're like oh my god what are you doing but it turns out a lot of them don't really get that taken care of much you know gina doesn't i've never had a colonoscopy i keep getting it but then they're like you can't eat a day before and i'm like no oh it's more than that yeah yeah i'm like no i'm not doing that it's the thing about ronnie fine and everything but i just feel like i need to groom i need to look cute down there i need to like do so many things i can't just go in you know just flop it's a whole

It's a whole thing. I will tell you, let me tell you something. I've had a colonoscopy and I've had a mammogram, believe it or not. So I've had the full range of these things. That's your thing. It's getting tested. I love getting tested and prodded. You love the medical community. How can I support you guys? Is there anything on my list? You're like one of those people who goes to get your car done and you're like, are you sure that I just need the oil change? There's nothing else. You guys need to do something to the radiator. Yeah.

I'm like, fix it. The rest of us are trying to mention it all. Don't you have anything else to add on here? Yeah. No, I do love, I mean, the colonoscopy was, the colonoscopy was honestly like the colonoscopy itself was very easy as, as it was promised.

It was just the night before. Let me tell you something. I felt great afterwards. I was like, ooh, I am snatched. I have purged everything from my system over the past 24 hours. It's been a wild ride. That night before the colonoscopy is wild. I cannot emphasize how wild it is. But then when it's over, it's like I went and got a bagel.

- Congratulations, bagel. - I was like, ah. And I was like, oh, I tricked myself into thinking I have abs. I'm like, yeah, look, I have abs now. I shot my brains out for 24 hours. Look at my abs. I don't have abs. - Oh God, I wish it was true. - I don't have abs, but I just like, my mind like let me, I was happy that my brain was tricking me into thinking that 'cause for that morning, it was fun to think that. - Aw.

Yeah, that is fun. Oh, God, it makes me want to get one. You're really good at selling colonoscopies. Well, you should get one. We should get an advertiser that does colonoscopies because Ben could really sell that shit. You could get a five-minute ad just off the cuff of personal. Oh, my God. I was just saying how I want to do more influencing videos. That's it. Maybe you found your thing. Relaxatives. All influencing. Yeah. Guys.

Getting ready for a podcast takes a lot of work. I have to set up lights. I have to get my computer ready. Got to download notes. And one thing I don't need to worry about is being stopped up. That's why I use colonoscopy grade laxatives. Colonoscopy grade. Do you know when I took my colonoscopy test,

They did not knock me out. A lot of people, you know, I think people assume you get knocked out, but it's kind of a permanent day. They just sedate you. And so I was like awake during it and it was fine. And honestly, it was fine. But what I have this vivid memory of being wheeled into the colonoscopy room

and the Humpty Dance was playing. And I thought, this is so bizarre. They're shoving something up my asshole right now while the Humpty Dance is playing. I was like, how do you listen to the Humpty Dance while you're giving a colonoscopy anyway? And they were like, they were sort of singing along. They're like, Humpty Dance is your chance. I was like, excuse me, be more serious. You're looking at my asshole. Well, it wasn't, at least it wasn't I Like Big Butts. Could have been worse. I cannot lie.

So, Gina goes in first, and the nurse is like, okay, I'm going to need you to remove your sleeves. Also, your other sleeve. Also, just, you know what, your entire abdomen. Can we get your hair done while you're here? Because, God, you really need some help.

They're like, "We've been experimenting with this idea of giving mammograms before vanity procedures, so we thought we'd try that out with you. We'll fix your hair." - We're not even gonna go to boobs or anything like that. Just straight up haircut, okay? - We're just gonna give you a haircut with your mammogram. This is Sam of the Fantastic. Yeah, he's gonna do your hair.

So then, you know, we see people going in. Heather goes in. And the nurse is like, Heather, relax that shoulder. It is relaxed. No, put it down. It is down. Heather, you seem stiff. I am stiff. So I am. Don't try to change me. Don't worry, doctor. I know how to do this. I played Martha Graham in the Syracuse University production of I, Martha. Okay. Ah.

Because every time, when you get on that machine, you do have to do these like modern dance moves where you're like flinging your hand, arm back. You see it on the show, your arms back, your head's back. You're like, oh, it's like very modern what you're doing in there. Yeah. The doctor's like, so Heather, we're seeing from this x-ray that your butthole is really clenched tight enough to make a diamond out of coal. Oh, that's how I built. Yeah.

That's a very strong mammogram, by the way. Heather, we're going to have to get you into surgery. Oh my God, is something wrong? There seems to be a stick lodged up your ass. No, it's supposed to be there. I've worked a long time for that stick.

So they do all these tests and everything, and it's by and large positive news. Like Jen, it turns out it's just tissue from her breast implants. And so she feels good about that. So her storyline is started and over within 30 seconds. And everyone finds there's some dense breasts. Some people have dense breasts and everything. But Heather's is more troubling because her breasts are dense.

and there was breast cancer in her family so her um her probability based on age and all the family factors etc and genetic i mean who knows uh ashkenazi jews also have a higher risk of this stuff of breast cancer so um she is at like 39 so it's like very rattling for her rattling news for her to hear and so she comes out of the room and everyone is like

popping open champagne and wearing party hats like, "My breasts are good! Everything's fine! How are yours? How's yours? How's yours? Mine are good. How about yours, Geno? How's your breasts? Your hair looks great, by the way. They did wonderful things in there for you." "Thank you so much. I feel kind of bad that they had to give me a haircut, but I feel really good." They're all asking everyone, except for Heather, how their Hurt Test went. Yes, which becomes a thing.

So... It's just so shitty. Like, she is the one who brought them all there for this, and then no one even asked Heather how hers went. And she was the only one that got not great news. I think it's because Heather...

Makes it sound I mean look I think that it was insensitive I don't think anyone did it on purpose, but I know it did on Heather I also think that Heather kind of puts herself out there like I get mammograms every week What do you mean you haven't had a mammogram? I had a mammogram for breakfast I think she just makes it that she's so health-conscious She's married to a doctor and she's really other thing about is how Heather's on top of her health and nobody else Nobody else is okay. Could you also I?

give me less of a gay tongue while I'm getting my fucking cardiology appointment done. Jesus. She's healthier than everybody else is. And so I think that everybody just kind of thinks, well, Heather would know if something was wrong. We would know if something was wrong with Heather. And Heather knew all this about her. This isn't the first time Heather's heard about her dense breasts either. You know what I mean? She's

She didn't just suddenly learn that she has dense breasts and there's a higher chance of her having... Like, she didn't just learn this. So I think that maybe it's a little overblown because I think that people just assumed that she knew. If anyone's going to know about their boobs, it's going to be Heather. Yes. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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to go head-to-head for the last chicken wing shop game day faves on instacart and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three grocery orders offer valid for a limited time other fees and terms apply so uh shannon's like okay well while we have now confirmed that everyone here in this room has had a very positive experience um guess what i am practicing everyone and heather's like what it is a british accent do you want a spot of tea that was authentic right

Wow. My lump has a better accent than that. So are we going to be doing a low budget accent? Oh, yeah. Spot of tea. Spot of tea. Spot of tea. Spot of tea. So then we go to Katie's house. Now it's the packing time. Everybody gets to pack. And so she's talking to her daughter, Kaylee. Is it Kaylee? Yeah, Kaylee. Yeah. And they're talking about, I don't know,

England. You do this. She's talking. Katie's never been to England, which is funny because she works in the Golf Network. I would imagine there was a retreat to England once per month. So she's never been to England. And so Kaylee's like, I mean, maybe you could run off with Tamara to France. That'd be hilarious. And Katie's like, that's right. I mean, we could do a train. And Kaylee's like, what? What?

You can take a train to France, but it's an island, though. And Katie's like, England is? She goes, it's an island. And then they're like looking it up to confirm that England is an island or that the UK is an island. And then they're like confused about how you take a train. But how do you take a train through a channel? Is there a tunnel in the channel? Almost like a channel? That's wild. That doesn't exist. Yeah, so that was fun.

And then we go to Emily's house and they're talking there. She's packing with Shane and the kid, one of their kids, Luke. And she's like, I don't know if I can fit all of these coats, but it's cold in London. I wish I had something oversized. And then her kid is like wearing her like little fur coat. And she goes, oh, my God. Now you look like a pimp. Do you know what a pimp is? Shane's like, you need a cane and a hat.

So then over at Gina's house, she's packing with her dogs. She's like, oh my God, mommy has bought this over the summer hoping she'd have somewhere to wear it. And now I got a hat. It's a fur hat. Look at that. I'm wearing a fur hat. What do you think of my fur hat? And the dog starts pawing at it. She's like, oh my God, Meeple. Meeple, don't paw at my new hat.

And then we go to Shannon's house and Sophie is in town. So Shannon's like, oh, well, Sophie, so I'm going to be going to London. It's cold in London, sort of like all my relationships with men. Did I say that? Did I say that about your father? Well, London's cold, but it couldn't be as chilly as my bed. It's not as cold as this empty house that I'm alone in, but that's okay. You can live your life and your dreams in Texas. That's okay, Soph. Okay.

So they're trying on different little outfits and stuff. And she's like, do I say top of the morning in London? And her kid's like, no. Well, I'm going to be a duchess. She goes, yeah, okay. Be a duchess, mom. Well, I'm 60. You know, I could do it. 60-year-old duchess. She's like, uh-huh. The boudoir madam picture. Did you like that? Duchess of Shannon. Sophie's just like, what if I come home?

Look at this photo. Look at this photo of me. I look like I run a brothel. I'm just fully clothed and looking seriously at the camera like a slut. So now, let's see. Sophie gets a phone call, and it's Adeline. So they FaceTime with Adeline, and she's like, morning.

Oh, Adeline, I'm glad you're here. Look at this photo. Look at this extremely slutty photo of me that Emily Simpson gave me. Wow. I can't believe she would give me a photo of me looking like I was full of such ill repute. Just like, again, just Shannon in like a blazer staring at the camera. I look like a whorehouse. Are you packed for Paris, Adeline? She's like, no.

So she explains that Adeline happens to be visiting Stella at the University of Paris. And it's right when Shannon planned her trip. So she gets to see the girls. Yeah, she gets to go out there and have her own little Emily in Paris moment. Shannon in Paris. Yeah.

Except it'll be much sadder. So that's something to look forward to. I don't know if we're actually going to get to see that on camera, but it might be nice to see. And then we go to Tamara's house and Tamara's packing. You think that coincidence is going to go by? I'm filmed. These three, they're fascinating. Oh, I can't wait to get a croissant. And then when I eat it, I spill it and I throw my head back and laugh because I'm having such a great time.

Just me and my daughters in Paris. I can't wait to hear how my daughters sound rolling their eyes at me in London-ish accent. I can't wait for a mime to come over to me and pretend he's stuck in a glass box and I'll say like, oh my God, welcome to my marriage. Oh, yeah.

So now we go to Tamara's house and she's like, you know what? I was here in Stockholm, Colton, Michigan, London. London's a stupid bitch, bitch. And he's like, I went to London in November and it was cold and not very pretty, but, or not very purdy, but she's like, wait a minute, wait a minute. How do you say purdy stupid? Say it again. You can't say, you can't say purdy, you can't say pretty, it's stupid. Purity.

It's like I saw a purdy cat. That's how I say it. That's where I learned how to say purdy. Hey, let me tell you about the tea party. So, you know, I was just in a tea party in France and I told Jen, hey,

You know, I just want to apologize about that night. This isn't the place to talk about it. But then he got real mean to me. He got real mad at me. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for about five minutes before I try and ruin your life again tomorrow. I'm sorry. I'm just saying pretty. Even she can say pretty stupid. And then we go over to Jen, and she's FaceTiming Ryan.

And he's like, so how are you feeling about this whole Tamara thing? Just because last time you saw her, she was her juvenile drunk self. And we see flashback. Tamara's like, you're a bitch. So Jen's like, well, you know, is she even first choice for me to go to London with? No. Am I happy I'm going to London with her? Kind of, yeah. Do I hope I get to room with her? Yeah. Do I admit that she's very toxic? Yeah. Am I okay with that? Yeah. Yeah.

I have low self-esteem. He's like, well, here's what's going to happen. You're going to get an apology and then you're going to blow it off and she's going to do the exact same thing. I mean, look, God forbid standing up for Tamara at all. You're correct that that is true about Tamara. But you want to talk about patterns. What have you done? Did you get a normal job? What's your job now? How about a normal jacket? Why don't we just start there? Yeah.

Yeah. Before we start talking about bad patterns on other people, let's look at our own bad patterns on our clothes. Let's look at the paint splatter on our jean jackets. You're a walking Gadzook store, you fourth-year-old fuck. Change. Yeah.

So we go back to Tamara and she's like, I understand that she's sticking up for a man bitch, but her little bitch, I'm going to call him a little bitch, but whatever. I'll deal with her when I have to. I love that they keep calling Ryan a little bitch, but like, obviously the one who's been acting like a little bitch has been Eddie this entire time. I'm sorry. Yeah. That's what I said last week. Eddie's the one who's like running away from everything and rolling his eyes and crossing his arms and stomping his feet. Yeah.

So Tamara's like, yeah. Oh, so Eddie goes, but from now on, do me a favor. Don't get into fights with little bitches. Maybe I should bring a tampon next time. Bitch. He's like, just stop. Little bitch. Please stop. Bitches. Bitch says what? Little bitch. We go to LAX and they arrive at a JetBlue terminal. What kind of trip is this? JetBatch. JetBatch.

Hello, Batch. Is JetBlue a discount airline? It's not, is it? It used to be, but now it's sort of just a regular airline. But I agree. I don't think they're known for their first-class experiences, right? I think they have JetBlue Mint, but it's not like... When you see JetBlue, it still feels kind of rinky-dink.

Well, I'm not judging it. I'm just saying, you know, as housewives, I want to see some privacy. But they do fly first, I think. Well, the thing is with JetBlue is that when JetBlue came along, it was cheaper.

It had like a casual vibe. The flight attendants wore like blue polos and there were TVs in the seats and you could watch TV and it was like groundbreaking. Yeah, that was like the new thing. It was like so cool. And then everyone started doing TVs in the seats. But now they've all stopped doing it because those seats with the TVs apparently are extraordinarily expensive. And at this point, so many people have iPads and stuff. They've stripped away all the TVs and they just...

watch on your iPad now. So now I don't really know what the differentiator is for JetBlue. I don't know what makes JetBlue special anymore because they raised their prices, that's for sure. And now they dress formally. So they're just a fucking airline. Jesus. So I buy a burrito or an airfare to London. The economy's fucked. Okay, so then...

Really mad. I'm really mad now. That's how I feel sometimes. Like I was going to go to Burger King today and I was like, no, I'm not even going to go there. I can go get fine dining for that. I mean, 10 years ago, but still. This is the sound, everyone, of McDonald's coffee.

Okay, so they're at the airport. They're greeting each other. And Heather's like, early bird gets the worm. But apparently, the early bird gets Katie. Because it's just Katie and Heather alone at the airport. I have to say, like, Heather's...

Heather's sort of like endless interview disses of Katie are really good. I feel like she finally found her lane, which is just ragging on Katie in her interviews.

But that doesn't even make sense. They say the early bird gets the worm, but apparently the early bird gets Katie. Meaning that she's worm-esque. She's worm-adjacent. Yeah. Even though, by the way, I would never think of her as worm-adjacent. I like Katie. But I just think that Heather is doing some really good anti-Katie material in her interviews, even if I don't always agree with it.

So then Katie is trying to make small talk and Heather just will not do it. It's hilarious. How was your weekend? Oh, it was good. I'm sorry. I can't hear you between the gates. There are no gates here. There are. There are figurative gates. I'm sorry, Katie. I can't hear you over the crates of chickens that are being pushed through this JetBlue terminal.

Do they have champagne here? Probably not. So Heather is so uncomfortable. And finally, Shannon arrives and Heather starts yelling, it's Shannon B. Doerr's birthday, everybody. Yeah, she's, oh, unfreaking believable. Happy birthday. Now, once we're all assembled, a truck with hay bales is going to pick us up and drive us to our gate.

So everybody comes, everybody makes their little London thing. Gina's like, everybody loves sports at high, Chrome Bats. Who doesn't want to be in the at large.com? And I love sports girls. And the producer's like, please just stop. Please just stop.

So the ladies, they all get onto the JetBlue flight and they all take their seat pods. Heather's like, excuse me, flight attendant, is there an upstairs to this airplane with just private rooms? No. Okay. Just wanted to check.

And Emily's brushing her teeth in her seat. And she's like, I've never brushed my teeth in the seat before. Go to the bathroom. Fuck, you're first class. And she washes it down. Dr. Pepper, what the fuck? For someone who spent so much of her childhood...

having to do things on her own as a latchkey kid she really is not very self-sufficient like where are the lessons you there's at least upside if you're a latchkey kid there is upside that you can do shit on your own and she's like why do i brush my teeth i'm like honestly i know you're doing it for comic effect and it's just sad i'm not gonna laugh at it emily i rebuke it i rebuke you emily so then katie says what in the ohio dental hygiene is happening right now

And Heather gets up to the airline speaker, which of course she does. She's like, hello, everyone on JetBlue. This is Heather Dubrow. I just wanted to say hello and a friendly hello. And I'm very sorry that you're poor. Looking out over the sea of not money, I just want to say to all of you, I salute you.

I would like to mention for the poor in rows one through all of them that we will be handing out complimentary slacks from Susan Bender to let you know that life does get better and for one moment you can feel like you are wealthy. Anyway, you are welcome. This has been television's Heather Dubrow.

We were going to hand out packs of snacks, but frankly, I believe, teach a man to fish, et cetera, et cetera. Enjoy your Susan Bender jeans. And I also would like to say congratulations. You have all been hired to be my maids. I will see you in Orange County.

So, uh, by the way, it's like, oh, Shannon's birthday. Anybody wants to fuck Shannon? You can totally do it. Oh, it's just you're incorrigible.

By the way, what I would have given to have been on that flight, could you imagine it's 6:30 in the morning, you're waking up, you're like, "Oh, I finally arrived." And we're approaching Heathrow, we're like, "Oh my God, I'm so groggy." And then you hear over the loudspeaker, "Hello, this is Heather Dubrow." I'll be like, "What's happening? Am I still awake? Have I died? Am I in a plane to the pearly gates? What is happening? Why am I hearing Heather Dubrow's voice on the intercom right now?" - I'd push the emergency exit button.

Like that JetBlue flight attendant once did. Just you'd see some queen sliding down the plane. So then they get to London. We see different London things. We see Skyline, the London Eye, the London Bridge, Patsy and Idina, double-decker bus, etc. And so Tamara's like, wait a minute, that's the Buckingham Palace? That's the Buckingham? Oh my god.

And Emily goes, no, it's the fucking Hamphalus. All right. Well, I apologize to England, by the way.

You deserve better. You deserve better than this. So does the general audience. Katie's like, where's the Spence Rolls? They're all making jokes and stuff. And then we go to the... Someone is from the hotel and they meet up with them and Katie's like, I think the perfect man for Shannon is someone fun, someone to get her out her funk, someone to dust the dew out of the lily, if you know what I mean.

Maybe someone to massage the holes on her ball. I have not heard the phrase dust the dew off her lily before. I don't even know if it is a phrase, but I know that Dom and I, when we heard that, we both went, ugh. Dust the dew off her lily. You dust wet things. You shouldn't dust wet things in the first place. That's your problem. Yeah, I feel like actually the lily would enjoy its dew. Yeah. It's...

That's a plant. It's gross. So then Heather's like, oh my God, he touched you. Was there a spark? He's like, no. She's like, you know, it's Shannon's birthday. Would you like to have sex with her doorman? He's like, hello. Happy birthday. Welcome. I will not be touching you with any of my hard appendages. I'm so sorry. It doesn't come with the price of admission. It was a joke. I don't understand. That's okay, Alfredo. You can still get my bags.

So then they are walk, they walk in and Fancy Alfredo has a, has an announcement everyone. Okay Alfredo you have the floor. And he's like hello welcome to the Londoner Hotel, the Mayfair Hotel, the Mayfair Londoner Motel Hotel. Her Majesty is His Majesty's most British hotel of all time. Thank you so much. So they go up to.

Our elevator is crumpets floating up like you. And Shannon's like, well, hello, I'm Shannon Storms Bedore, the Duchess of Corona Del Mar, and these are my ladies-in-waiting. He's like, please, do me a favor. Die. Well, you're still bowing down to me. Well, that's because we're exceedingly polite. We can't help it. You said you have a formal title and...

I wouldn't want to not bow down to you if it turns out that Duchess of Coronadelmar is a real thing, so I've got to do it. I'm only bowing down to you so you can see my bold spot and hopefully be shallow enough to walk away. Ooh, I love it when the servants bow down. It's like you can put your keys on their head. So they've got afternoon tea set up, and so everybody gathers around to have some tea.

And Shannon is in charge of distributing the hotel key cards. So she puts them all in a bowl. This is a terrifying key party, this group. Yeah. Well, also. A walk home, you know? And also, by the way, all the keys are in this bowl because they're having their high tea. And then Emily puts her hand in there and starts sloshing around and knocks a key right on, or several keys, right?

Onto the finger sandwiches. It's like, Emily, you're a monster. Don't knock the keys into the finger sandwiches. Yeah, graceless. So then... She is graceless.

She really is. Graceless under fire. Yeah. They start divvying up these rooms or whatever. And Shanna's like, okay, let's all go to our rooms, get settled in, and we're going to go on a little boat ride. We'll see you soon. So everybody goes to their rooms. Tamara and Heather go to theirs.

And they start drinking some champagne and Heather's jumping up and down excitedly as if she's like really happy about having to share a room with someone 10 times more poor than her in a hotel she could probably buy. Yeah. Heather's like, oh my God, this penthouse. Look at it. Now I finally see what it looks like for one of my maids to walk into my bedroom. This is exciting.

I love seeing how the other half watches things. Ew, gross. I don't like it anymore. I don't like it. Oh, God. I'm so honored to be staying in the poor house. The penthouse.

Like I said. So this reminds me of the attic in the sorority house at Syracuse University. Then we go to Emily and Katie because they're all in kind of random pairings for this one. So we go see Emily and Katie getting together.

And then Shannon comes in and she's got a gift for everybody. And she's like, well, it means so much that this group of women have agreed to spend a birthday celebration with me because I've never really had that. So I thought it would really be fun to give everyone $75,000 each. Yes.

I have gotten you all $75,000 worth of Burberry scarves and one tchotchke hat. Here you go! And so she's giving these all out. And everyone is like, um, but like, shouldn't you not be, you're saying that you don't have enough money to pay back John Jansen and you're giving us these expensive scarves. I'm like, I don't think it was about the amount of money. I think it was the principal, guys.

And also, stop being such assholes. You still took the scarves. What are you being judgy about? Get the fuck out of here. Jenna's like, you know, this is a really nice gift, but she probably could have given me a knockoff and I never would have known. Maybe so, her own knockoff. Like a shirt that says, like, Blalanciaga.

Today, a lady at the Home Depot who is checking me out had a Gucci hat. I was like, really? There's a Gucci. It was like the fireworks people. It's like a little Gucci baseball cap.

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So Heather. Yeah, I'm just going to describe it like that candy. When she's in $75,000 lawsuits and says she doesn't have the money to pay for it. She never said she didn't have the money to pay for it. You're such a liar. Why do you keep lying every two seconds you open your mouth? She never said that she doesn't have the money to pay it.

Yeah. So Tamara's like, are we going to bring up the Jeff Lewis thing? I'm like, oh my God, another Jeff Lewis thing. I cannot believe the number of shows on Bravo right now that are being impacted by the Jeff Lewis show. That's two storylines in one week. I mean, wasn't there a third one also? New York is in a fight with Jeff because of the Brynn thing. And now this show with the Shannon thing. Is there another one? I don't know. Those are the only ones I know right now.

Maybe not. So then we see this clip and Jeff's like in the press. He's saying that you borrow seventy five thousand to get a facelift. So that's not what happened. She's like, no, he gave you money unsolicited. He offered it to you. She's like, no, no, I didn't. I did need money at the time. And he said, I wish you could get a low interest loan. And I said, well, you have money.

Shannon, hello, what did you drink for breakfast? Why would you say that on a show? I mean, she said, I wish I could get a low interest Roan and then she's Sloan. And then she said, well, you have money. And then he said, okay. And Tam was like, and so Heather's, they're both like, what the hell? I thought,

I thought this was a gift. You made it sound like it was a gift. And now you actually went on Jeff Lewis and said it was a loan. So Heather's like, I am very sympathetic towards everything that's going on with her being very poor. Just that really. But when I hear on, I mean, really, it's just all terrible. How she can't do a, she can't do a British accent because she didn't go through formal training as an actress. I go, I feel bad for her.

But, you know, when I hear that on Jeff Lewis, it makes me feel a little bit differently. It makes me feel different. Oh, gee, what a shock. Heather's going to go anti-Shannon and lick the butthole of Tamra Judge to keep...

Tamara being evil to Shannon and not to Heather because we all saw how Tamara was treating Heather last year and Heather does not need that again so she's going to do whatever she can to keep Tamara mad and mean to Shannon and plus it's a plus for her because she hates Shannon anyway it's just so tiring it's just so tiring can you please be on the right side for once well this is what I found upsetting

There are poor people in this hotel. It's disgusting. But other than that, when we were in Sonoma, she came to my room crying, and she showed me a picture of her face all bloody after the accident. She was hysterical. And, you know, she tells me this whole story, and yada, yada, yada, and then she tells us about how, you know, like, you know...

john had heard the accident and then he didn't come by to help and she was really devastated by it etc she said she was like a block away so how did he not hear the accident and why wouldn't he come help her it was basically the crutch right right or the crux right and so then um heather's like well i don't understand why she's telling me one thing and then going on jeff lewis and saying something different so we cut back to the show where jeff says how did he not hear it has that ever occurred to you and she said well i haven't really thought about it jeff

That's not a lie. That's bullshit. The thing before, okay, the loan kind of admitting to getting a loan. Okay, you've got her on that. But this is nothing. She didn't do anything. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about her private business with Jeff Lewis first thing in the morning on his show and say, yeah, I have a picture of my bloody face. You want to see it? And he probably did hear it and ignore me. Maybe she's feeling humiliated. Maybe she doesn't want to go through the whole thing, Heather. You didn't, you caught her in nothing. You caught her in nothing.

The trust issues are there because which side is the truth? I want to believe her. But now...

I don't get it. So Tamara's like, she's lying. She knew, bitch. Don't sit on a radio show and go, oh, wow, I never thought of that. She told me. She told you that. And Heather's like, well, that's fucked up. Am I being used? And that's Heather. People, everybody wants something from me. I'm just so used. People just want you to leave them alone. Just leave people alone. But she's saying this just so she could get a free pair of Susan Bender slacks. It's just not right. I'm so used.

They're like, she's a liar. Okay, let's do this. Let's get dressed and then we'll have an espresso martini and then we'll ruin Shannon on her birthday dinner. Great, I love the idea. So, but before they even get to dinner, they are going to go outside and go on this touristy boat thing. So they leave and...

uh they're they're making more jokes about the concierge being single and everything and um emily's like knowing shannon madore if she got laid in london it would be some guy who was married whose then wife comes after shannon and sues her and worries about the lawyer fees later see i was making like a lexus pleno joke anyone who's this thing on

So, uh, cameras, like, hashtag, they're in London. They're in London, Shannon. They're in London. They're in London. Liar in London. Hey, that's a hashtag. Liar pants in London. Shannon's a liar.

So they arrive, like their bus, or they get dropped off at like a bridge on the Thames. And Gina's like, this is it? It's a bridge? Okay. Like, oh, I'm sorry, Gina. Sorry, the view of London from like the Thames is not as good as the postcard you have on the wall of your shoebox.

I love that you're so mad for the Tens. Well, I'm mad that Gina's being like, oh, okay, it's a bridge. It's like, is this not good enough? I'm sorry it's not the Fashion Square in Newport Beach. Sorry it's not Fuddruckers down in Laguna. Just a bridge. Sorry it's just a bridge over the River Thames.

Sorry, it's not good enough for you, Gina.

It was just so Gina to be like, oh, okay, it's a bridge. Yeah, so now they have to wear cute little hats. And Tamara's like, ew, first of all, bucket hats are not cute, period. I don't care if they say proud on them. They're not cute. I'm not wearing it. But they do. And they have little flags on them and stuff. And Katie's like, this is like a neon sign flashing that we're tourists. Oh, it's already been flashing. Yeah. Don't worry. Don't worry. It was flashing in LAX. It was really weird.

So, then there's more of like, like, Emma being like, "Go have a spot of tea! Spot of-- Cheerio!" And they take a photo together on the bridge and their hats and everything. And they're like playing around. There's like cotton candy. Gina gets cotton candy. And then there's a guy playing guitar. And then they are assembling to go get on this boat.

Yes. So Gina's like, "I don't want to do this at all. That is not Rocket Boat." Say Rocket Boat. And then the tour guide's like, you know, the tour guide welcomes them and they need life jackets and stuff. Tamara, by the way, is like, "We're going on a boat ride on the famous, same themes, same themes. Isn't it funny? I don't know one of the most famous rivers in the world." I've had bad things. This is funny, bitch.

It's so funny, bitch. So then they're getting a tour of everything. And then he goes, you know, this is probably one of the most famous bridges, the London Bridge is. That's right. You know, the old London Bridge is actually in America now. And Tamara goes, in Havasu. It's like, wow. The only piece of history that Tamara knows because of Havasu. Anything that's related to Lake Havasu. She goes,

oh yeah lake havasu founded and it was discovered in 1633 by general havasu everything about it and 1902 by vicky govel said that and then we see a flashback of vicky getting hit in the head with football i wish they just inserted another flashback of like katie and lala on like a pontoon next door being like

look, there's single guys over there. Do you want to hang out with the single guys? Hey, single guys, do you want to hang out? The most awkward trip to Havasu ever. And they're all awkward trips. Wasn't the Havasu trip also where Ryan revealed to Tamara that he'd gotten a tattoo inside of his lip that said nugget in honor of a child that he didn't have?

Oh my God. I guess so. There's a lot that happened. A lot's happened here. So now they're...

I don't know. Who cares? They're touring. They're going... Well, okay. So they're like... The tour guide is like, all right, once we pass the police station, we're going to go much faster. So raise your hand if it's too fast for you and we'll slow down accordingly. So they're like, okay, cool. So they speed up and the boat is going so fast. It looks so fun. It's like on its side and they're all screaming. And everyone's having a great time except for Heather and Gina. Gina's like, oh my God, I should have had the donkey.

And the other's like, this is too fast. Slow down the boat right now. This is too fast for me. I want to change drivers. I want to change drivers. So then they get home. Those two are miserable, you know. And then we get to the hotel and they get ready for dinner and all that stuff.

And then we go to Tamara and Heather's room. And Heather's like, oh, I love that your fucking outfit goes from your toes to your fingertips to your necks and leaves your back out. Hilarious. And Tamara's like, yeah, fuck a mullet. Business in the front, party in the back, bitch.

And then over in the other room, Katie and Jen are getting glam. And then Gina and Shannon are also getting glam. And Gina's like... Emily joins them, too. And Gina's like, you know, why is Jen getting glam done when she's having so much financial stuff? Like, this is where it's like...

a money management thing, like that's a man decision, which I think is so-- - You all are poor people standing in a grocery line, judging each other's carts. I'm so over it. It's like standing in a Walmart line of snooty ass people to, the only one who I think could even begin

is heather yeah the rest of you shut the fuck up like emily is not poor but she's living off of her in-laws money from what we hear allegedly oh actually i think she said it on watch what happens live and the rest of y'all are just barely holding on so shut the fuck up it's just so funny when you look at the episode of roni earlier this week and they're like

Don't talk about other people's money. Man, I would never talk about your money. And then on this show, like, why is she spending it on that? Why is she giving a scum? She's $75,000 in debt. Why are you getting glam? You're too poor to have glam. All they do is count each other's money on this show. Well, you're putting a curtain partition up in your children's room so they have some privacy. Why are you in London? Same thing. You want to start going down the line? We can do it for all of you.

The curtain partition, by the way, in this context is actually Lynn Curtin. She's being paid to stand between the two halves of the room. You stay on that side, please. You're in that side. The power of the cuff. The cuff love. The cuff love. You stay on that side.

And Katie's like, well, how are you feeling about dinner with Tamara tonight, Jen? And she's like, you know, I think it's just going to be so weird. I mean, I don't want to go backwards. You know, when she ran out storming about whatever she told you, asking me about the FBI, I mean, how am I not going to... How does she want to go forward from that? That's crazy. And then...

we see a clip of that all happening. And she's like, yeah, you know, people just likes to blur. She likes to blur people in Ryan's life who might be going through something with Ryan because then it might make him seem even shadier than she wants to make him seem.

no he's pretty shady jen i'm about to say you know who else makes ryan seem shady ryan um yeah a lot of this stuff with tamra is just it's just not tamra's place you know what i mean like the stuff with shannon it's not like maybe tamra's not even wrong about it all maybe it was alone maybe it was the point is it's not your all's business to be fucking making somebody crying and bullying about it every day you know yeah but at the same time i like i can't

I'm like part of me can't really complain can't be too mad at it because then you do see shows like Roni where it's like guys let's not talk about each other's money and then you watch like a trash box like Tamara just out everything and it's more entertaining so Katie she I like Katie's take on this whole thing with Ryan she goes you know I know Tamara hates Ryan and unfortunately

the FBI accusation does kind of put a weird sprinkle in my mind about him. It's such an understatement. It's like, yeah, I think that whole, you know, being in trouble with the FBI kind of makes me feel a little differently about him. Yeah. It's like, you think?

So then, I mean, I don't know. I guess I'm a little bit different. I don't really look at people different if that happens. Like if they're in trouble or if they got in trouble with the law or they, I don't know, they're still my friend. Like I still think of them the same way. I'm just like, you shady fuck. Here's the thing. I don't like them anymore, you know? You can wear a denim jacket with paint splatter. You can have an FBI accusation. You can't have both.

You get one or the other. You get one or the other. If you got both, you're guilty. If you have both, you're guilty. Just because you wear that doesn't mean you're a criminal. And just because you have an accusation doesn't mean you're a criminal. But if you have both, you're probably a criminal. So then we go back to Shannon and Gina's room. And Gina and Emily come back in on Shannon, who's getting ready. So they're talking about her hair. And Gina's like, oh my god, do you have a hair?

You know, the back of your head looks like the year you're having. You got to take advantage of the fact that you have a ceiling that's higher in this place. You can tease up your hair. That's how I operate. So then we go to the Londoner for dinner and it's really pretty and stuff.

Yeah, it's very pretty. Dark, moody, exotic. So they sit down and Emily pulls what I call a Ben Mandelker, which is that she pulls her, she sits down in her chair, she pulls up to the table and promptly bangs her knee against whatever is on the chair. Oh my God.

Jesus. There's Tamara herself. There's Tamara's song. Sorry, I have my finger on. How unprofessional. It's so unprofessional. Right when I was telling a gripping story about how I banged my knee against table legs. I wanted to hear that. Finish it. No, that's just always my life. So, Emily hurts her knee.

And then... I didn't know there was a chair at the end. What the hell? This is my fault.

So the manager comes over, hot manager, makes a little spiel. And Shannon's like, "Everyone, I just want to say thank you for coming on this trip and for not being Alexis Bellino. Thank you so much." "Oh, thanks." So they toast and everything. And Tamara, who clearly has had a conversation with Heather off camera, and is like, "Don't worry, Heather. I'm going to fix this for you." She's like, "By the way, everyone, how are your mammograms? Oh, by the way,

Oh, yours is good. Yours is good. Great to hear. Hey, what about you, Heather? Has anyone asked you about your mammogram? You know, it's so funny because the whole accusation as we get there is Heather saying, I feel so used because you just used me to bring this up on camera and get it up on camera instead of taking care of it on your own. When that's exactly what Heather's having Tamara do right now in this moment. I mean, the hypocrisy. Could you even give it an episode before you, you know, hypocritic yourself? Yeah. Yeah.

And so Heather's like, well, no one actually even asked me about my mammogram. And Tamara's like, I'm asking you. And Shannon's like, well, we heard you cheering and we thought you were good. We thought you either had good results or you saw a poor person fall over. Well, that's fair.

She goes, "We were cheering for Gina." And Shannon's like, "Wait a minute, Heather, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?" She goes, "Well, my test itself was fine, but my risk is now at 40%." And Shannon's like, "Because of your age? How dare you?"

It's because of my family history. And she talks about her dense breast tissue and stuff like that. And Tamara's like, so you have a 40% chance of getting breast cancer? That's the same amount of chance that John has of getting Shannon to ever pay him back his money. It's not looking good for him. How do you feel about it?

And so Heather is just saying that, like, Terry's freaked out and everything. And, you know, she's like, you know, I don't want to belabor this whole thing. It's okay. And so she's choking up and she's just, like, sad that, like, no one...

even asks her because this is her damage with the group is that she always feels left out. That was like her whole thing last year. She's like, you two were sitting in a bed together making jokes and I was standing over the bed in the vicinity of the jokes but I wasn't sitting on the bed during the jokes and I felt left out. I was around jokes and it hurt my feelings. Yeah.

- No one looked at me. - They talk about, I don't know, I think this is reaching personally. - I don't know, I actually think this was totally valid. I personally feel like she got shitty news and no one even asked her. And I feel like it was valid and honestly,

It's not even, it's okay because no one, it didn't become a fight. Everyone immediately apologized. Why don't you just say, oh guys, I'm so glad you guys had good results, but you know, I didn't, it didn't go as well for me. Why do you like hold it? I mean, she didn't make it like, oh, I'm so hurt about it. As if you didn't already know all this information before. I just don't with her. I can't with her. I think she's trying to do the whole, Emily made me look stupid, but she made me look insensitive and stupid and,

calling her fat, which she didn't do, but you know what I mean. She made it look like I called her fat or something. And now I'm going to make it look like I have feelings and I'm going to try to cry on camera. I think she's so transparent. I agree that Heather could have just brought it up then and there without being asked. You know, she could just say it. But unfortunately, I

My toxic trait is that I too sometimes have a moment where like, if I've gotten shitty news, sometimes I just want to be asked. Sometimes I just want someone to be like, Ben, are you okay? Like, it's in that moment. You just want like, you want care and tenderness. You want some, you just gotten shitty news and you don't want to have to be the one to be like, guess what guys? I just got shitty news. You want someone to be like, Ben, you look like your, your world was rocked.

Are you okay? Sometimes you just want that. And she didn't get it. And I understand why she was frustrated. Yes, probably the easier and maybe even arguably more mature thing was if she just came out and said, guys, my test did not go so well. But either way, I don't, I mean, look, everyone knew, everyone knew they were being shitty friends in that moment because they literally all apologized at the table, which never happens on these shows.

- Well, yeah, because what are you gonna do when someone's like, "I could get cancer." You're supposed to be like, "Shut up, Heather. "Stop trying to make us look stupid on camera "just 'cause you looked stupid last week." - On this show, they might do that, to be honest. We've seen similar things.

so anyway but then of course Gina turns it into something about her she's like I mean if this is something that bother her why didn't you just call me after the mammogram and then we see like a flashback of Heather saying if something is upsetting to you talk to me so so Gina's basically like you should do it to me also

So then Katie chimes in and she's like, you know, hearing Heather and your history with breast cancer, I don't know about my history being adopted, you know? And she talks about how she's going to be going to Korea and she's going to go meet her mom.

her biological mother. And she tells the backstory about her mother basically worked in a factory till the day that she had Katie and basically like would have had her in the factory and wanted to keep the, want to keep Katie and, you know, kept Katie for three days, but realized that she just couldn't keep Katie at all. And so she had to, she was like a little baby, her mother. Yeah. And it was a very emotional story and Katie's getting choked up, but she's like really looking forward to meeting her and everything. And yeah,

I'm sure Heather loved Katie being like, oh, I'm so sorry that nobody asked you, so let's talk about my thing now. There's probably the cute little...

Trying to like you, Katie. But actually, Heather is engaging with Katie and she's like, oh, well, I can't wait to hear about how this all works out. And she's like asking if Katie's going to bring her something like a gift of some sort. And I was like, look, this is the most conversation I've seen you two have. I'm encouraged to see this. And Katie's like, you know.

Heather and I are coexisting right now. We're being cordial, you know. We're just being very good at being a polite ice cold. And Heather's like, I asked about Katie's history because it's really interesting. Too bad she's not. I mean, seriously, you can't hold it until after her sad mom story? Yeah.

So what's going on with your lawsuit, Shannon? It's like, wow, okay, well, I guess that's it for Katie's interesting scene. They're like, fascinating adoption story, stupid. Okay, let's talk about Shannon some more. It's been fun. Speed up, Shannon. Heather's like, why are we talking about that? Katie is showing some glimmers of being fascinating. She's like, I was just wondering, because, you know, Jeff Lewis and stuff.

So Shannon's like, well, I mean, do I like to talk about it? Absolutely not. No. She's like, well, but you were just on Jeff Lewis for an hour and such. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I absolutely had the right to say what is getting put out there. What is wrong, Tamara? People are saying I borrowed $75,000 for a facelift, and I didn't. There was no promissory note. There was nothing discussed prior, and he never asked me for money. And then a day or two later, he sends me a promissory note. I was freaking livid because I...

I don't know how many times I've said this on the radio show. She goes, Heather goes, wait a minute. He sent you a promissory note? That's the first time I've heard that. Mm-hmm. Mm-mm-mm. Were there also Susan Bender blazers involved as well? She goes, no, there wasn't. Not even. So Tamara's like, what? I know for a fact that Shannon borrowed that money. She told me she borrowed the money. And that's his point of view. I'd probably see her ass too. By the way, can I just say, what a shitty boyfriend. Like, you're in this relationship with Shannon, and

And if you're going to offer to pay for her facelifts, the $75,000 for it, I'm sorry. That's your girlfriend. I just feel like it's shitty to make it a loan. It's like you either pay for it because it's your girlfriend or you don't pay for it. But you don't do a loan. That's how he moves with the people he's in relationships with.

Well, I hate to say this, but now that we've heard from Shannon more this episode, Shannon did say, I wish that I, I wish John said, I wish she said, I do need a loan for that. And he said, well, I wish you could get a low interest loan. And she said, well, you have money. Then he gave her money and sent her a promissory note. It's sounding like a loan. I know it sounds like a loan, but I'm just saying it's like, it's also kind of like, that's,

i don't know i said your boyfriend just pay for your your 75 000 worth of whatever that you're getting i mean sure if you've got a loaded boyfriend and that's in your relationship i don't know that it's necessarily his job yeah i just think that her argument that that guy because i spent so much money on him and now he can't spend this money on me but

I mean, that's, that's what, that's what, I mean, that's, there's a lot of things swirling around is that she paid for all these things. And then he pays for, I mean, $75,000 is not nothing. So he did, he did pay for something like that. She made it sound like it was a gift. It sounds like it wasn't a gift. It sounds like it was a loan, but also that my thing is like, but why wasn't it a gift?

Yeah, well that makes sense. Yeah, but... Meaning that like, meaning why would you, like, it just is, it just seems shitty. Here's the thing, Shanna just needs to be quiet because she kind of had everybody on her side when it was, I didn't know this was a loan. Now it's a loan. Now he's tricking me and it's this, he gave me this money, but it's a huge loan. I thought he would have given it to me because of all the money I spent. All this made sense. But now she's talking too much and now it's like, well, then he sent me a promissory note.

Okay, so you did have a promissory note and you did have a conversation about how you needed a loan and you could get it from him because he's got a lot of money. And I mean, it's just sounding worse and worse. Now, I still think I'm still on her team because it's not Tamara's job.

to bring it up and also Tamra's teaming up with Alexis and Johnny G to bring it onto the show and make this big spectacle. And he refused to take the $75,000 in return for the non-negotiable, whatever, defamation clause, whatever. All of that, I'm still team Shannon, but at this point it's plain looking like a loan. I mean, if he sent that to you a couple of days later and there was a promissory note, then you knew that it was a loan, so.

Well, she, so then Tamara's like, well, I'm just shocked that you would talk about it for an hour on Jeff's show if you're in a lawsuit batch. And she's like, well, I talked to my attorney beforehand and he said, they keep firing away at you so you can tell the truth. I'm like,

Yeah, I think it's time to fire your attorney now. You might not want to use your DUI attorney for this. Like, he lost... Like, they actively are blackmailing you, and he still lost on that front? And now he's giving you this terrible advice? This is not a good attorney. Yeah. So she's like, well, there was...

but there was something that you said was a lie. So you're not always telling the truth. And she's like, well, what? And Heather goes, well, I'm not sure I would call it a lie, but it was very disturbing to me. You came to my room in Sonoma and showed me a very disturbing picture of you. She goes, what? Heather, the fact that you're bringing this up right now...

But you came and told me, you said all these things about John and what happened after the incident, accident. And then when I heard you on Jeff and he says to you, and Jeff goes, how did he not hear it? Has that ever occurred to you? I never thought of that. So we hear that again. And Heather's like, and I never, you know, you go, oh, I never thought about that. I did not. I did not say that whatsoever. I said, top of the million. Okay, Shannon, you're deflecting. You said it with no emotion.

Well, I will never know if he heard my accident or not, Heather. Just, well, it made me feel used. Oh, Heather, that's a big nothing burger. Get the fuck out of here. And now you're just teaming up to be a team-up monster. This isn't cool. This is super shitty. And you were just wanting everybody to pity you two seconds ago. And now you're like, that girl's...

adoption storyline is more interesting than she'll ever be. Then you're like doing this to Shannon. Like, you're still an asshole. Heather's a pretty good, she's gotten pretty good over the years at being less of an asshole or seeming like less of an asshole. To even the point she gets me for almost the entire season where I'm like, wow, Heather's pretty cool this season. You're still a dick. Okay. You're still a dick.

Heather's like, whether it was your intention or not, it made me feel used. You wanted to tell me the first. And then like, I don't know why. And Jen's like, but you're a friend. I mean, she's just communicating with you. And Jen's kind of like, I don't think it's so wrong that she just wants to share with you. And, you know, Tamara's like, this is classic Shannon. She used to have me all the time being like, oh, can you say this about David? And I'd be like, hey guys.

And then she'd be like, "Oh my God, don't say where you heard that." I'd be like, "Girl, you set this all up." - I'm like, "So Tamra, you're basically admitting that the things you say on camera are not totally authentic. They're basically, you conspire behind the scenes to create scenes." - Yes, you're admitting that you talked to your friends beforehand and create shit, just like you just brought up Heather's storyline so she could go into her tearful monologue. - So Shannon's losing her mind, she's like,

"This is a reality show. It's trickling. It's my real life." And they're like, "This is real life." So they're in this fight and then all of a sudden, all of these smoking chickens arrive at the table. So now the entire scene for the rest of the episode is like full of smoke. They're like fighting and they're like, but they're wafting away smoke the entire time.

And Shanna's like, I said something to you because I felt on that day I needed to talk to a friend. No, you did want to bring it up on camera. And Heather's room was probably the closest. Like, let's face it. No one would go to Heather because they need a friend. Okay. You go to Heather if you need money or you go to Heather if you need advice on how many ribs you can get taken out medically without, you know, getting in trouble. But otherwise, I don't think anybody's going to go to Heather to feel better.

Yeah. So Tamara's like, "You're not the fucking victim, Shannon!" And Shannon goes, "You know what? I am a fucking asshole. Stop it. I am going home. I don't need this. I'm done. I'm gonna leave. I don't need to be here. I don't need to be here." Especially with all these toxins floating in all this smoke. "I'm done. I'm going." So she gets up and she storms off. She storms over to the elevator bank. And Tamara's like... So funny that her name was Storms and she continuously, every episode, storms off. Yes.

So she storms off to the elevators and Tamara's like, I mean, she got caught in a lie. And Gina's like, but why does any of it matter? And so Shannon turns around and it turns out the elevator bank is adjacent to the table, but it's just separated by a series of these like slats. And so she starts screaming through the slats and she's like, Keith,

Keep fucking talking about me. You guys, you know, you know, you know, Tamra Judge, don't ever call me a victim again. I already told that. Victims sit back and feel sorry for themselves and I am moving forward with my life. Well, I mean, technically I'm just waiting for the elevator to come for my life and then I won't go downstairs with my life. - I'm not gonna sit here and feel sorry for myself. I'm going to get in the elevator and feel sorry for myself. How dare you? - This is a nice restaurant and she's screaming in full voice again through these like bars.

It's so hilarious. She's screaming through the bars. And I was laughing like, "LOL," on her DUI season. And she goes, "Why are you laughing?" And Tamara's like, "We're laughing 'cause we're looking at you through bars. You're probably the only way to win."

yeah you're in jail so jen's like oh come on guys that's so tacky guys that's so tacky opposite of thank you guys opposite of thank you so she gets in the elevator and uh tamra's like oh she lied and she got caught and now she can't handle it you know she got jeff to do her dirty work to talk shit about john and uh she could have promoted her business instead oh really so she's gonna go to jeff and not talk about her main storyline and what's going on what the

come on yeah of course she's going to talk about it she did it incorrectly but still right so gina is she's basically like she's not going gana should i go pulling back they're like yeah do it she's probably at the bar so now we go to shannon and she has arrived at the bar and she's like could i get a diet coke please and a belvedere soda thank you so much

But also I'd like to add to this, this whole thing like, well, he sent me a promissory note two days later. Because Tamara told us in our interview with her, well, what if I told you that there was a promissory note? Stay tuned. So she kind of told us this was coming. But did Shannon sign the promissory note? It's different if you give somebody a promissory note and then they sign it and then you give them the money.

That's very different than giving them the money and then sending them a promissory note to sign that they never signed. You know what I mean? Legally. Yeah. So Gina joins Shannon in the lounge area and she's like, "I am done. I am going home."

But first I'm going to have some Belvedere status. And she was like, is it too much? She goes, you know what? Do you know in Sonoma that day I had reached my breaking point and I felt I needed to talk to somebody and she fucking betrayed me. So now Shannon is making this about Heather.

Like, Heather is the issue here. And Shannon's saying how she's like, oh, you know, I thought I was going to have a nice vacation to kind of forget about the chaos. And you know that there's a lot of chaos because I have to put both my hands up as if I'm pushing back a giant balloon. Forget about the chaos. She's also doing the angry okay. You know how you make the okay with your hands, but she's like tightened it where she's like, oh.

and I will tell you this. It's like a little pickleball. It's like a little pickleball thing. The chaos at home. The chaos at home. I will tell you this with an angry okay. Okay. This trip is not going the way I want to and you know I'm upset because now I've taken my hands and I'm now making it look like I'm organizing little boxes in front of me. This goes here. This goes here. And this goes here.

And furthermore, Tamara is in cahoots and God knows why with Alexis Bellino. They want to make me out to be a liar. And I'm not lying about anything with John. Do you remember at the Balboa Club when I told you, I told her you started the ball rolling with my lawsuit and she said we didn't? She didn't? Well, well, well...

Well, so, and then, of course, we see the, there's the door, she didn't do her fight. And then Shannon's like, well, so the night that I texted her to say she wasn't coming on the trip, I put her number in my phone. And what is this? And then it immediately takes me to 2018, the last time I received a text from her. And it says, Shannon, it says, 2018, Shannon, everything you and Tamara said in the media since the divorce are lies. And we, we, word is we,

which also means yes in France, which I'll be going to next, have engaged in an attorney and we will be suing you and camera. That's a we. That's a smoking gun. You liar. You'll be hearing from our attorney tomorrow. That's what she said.

The only reason I even knew this is because when I was putting her number in for the trip, this text came up in 2018. So there you go. Shannon, everything you and Tamra's in the media since the divorce are lies. We have engaged an attorney. We did. Smoking gun. Liar. And Gina's like, oh my God. But she said repeatedly she'd never said that. Oh, really? Really? Had I not invited her, I would never would have known. She's like, oh my God, Shannon, that's

This is like huge. Like who's the biggest liar? Alexis lies on lies on lies. You're a liar. You're a liar. I really can't believe this. I know it's shocking. These texts. No, that's shocking too, but that you still have a T-Mobile sidekick and it gets text messages. That's amazing, Shannon. So she goes, the night that I sent Alexis that text, I said, Tamara, Tamara just found this text on my phone. And so she basically sent the text to Tamara and,

And she goes, yeah. She goes, and apparently Alexis never sent this to Tamara because Alexis didn't have Tamara's number. So Shannon's like, and I'm the liar? I don't think so. I am someone with a text message.

So then Shannon's saying, you know, I'm not doing this. And if you want to get on the bandwagon and go on your platform and say Shannon Pator is a liar, then you go fucking right ahead. Because I know who I am. And I've taken such responsibility. I've taken such responsibility. The way that I helped the house that I clipped get into rehab for hurting my car. I have done so much.

So Heather, at the table, Heather's like fanning away the smoke. "You know what? No one likes being caught. Maybe that's not the right word. Poor. No one likes being poor." Or around them. Heather just says it, says it, says it. Heather just keeps saying things and going, "Well, maybe that's not the right word." "Shannon's a liar." "Well, maybe that's not the right word." "Well, she got caught." "Well, maybe that's not the right word." As long as you get the words out there, Heather,

This lady, I swear to God. So then Tamara's like, it's the right word. She got caught. That's the right word. And then we go back to Gina and Shannon. And Gina's like, but you're doing great, Shannon. You're doing so good. You're a strong woman. Look how you cry in every episode. It's amazing, you know? And she's like, you got bigger balls than even Travis. I mean, that's not saying much. He's basically a castrato at this point. He's like in a Catholic choir. But still.

Thank you for making me smile, especially given the amount of smoke that I had to inhale around those chickens. Yeah, of course, Shannon. You know, you gotta mix it up every once in a while. Duchess! Callback! That was a callback! Sort of unlike the calls I never get back from John Jansen about this lawsuit. One callback, that's really all I ever wanted from Tamara. Someone should teach my daughters about a callback.

so uh that brings us to the end who knew gina was gonna make such a total turn this season by the way well i did because she had she has to turn on someone every every year so she's just at this point she's gonna have to go back to shannon just cycle through everyone else so um

Thank you everyone for being here, for listening. Have a wonderful weekend and we'll be back on Monday with some Potomac. We have some Mormon wives coming up our final, no, no, no, no. Episode seven is next week. So enjoy and we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye everyone. Bye.

Bye.

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