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There's more to imagine when you listen and...
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Hello and welcome to Watch Where Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and enjoying a beautiful bottle of Topo Chico.
elsewhere here in Los Angeles. It's Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello, Ben. How are you doing today? Great. I have vicarious refreshments because that bottle looks just so wonderful. I am enjoying a bottle of my own, some blue bottle of coffee, my favorite, my favorite of all the coffees. So we're both going to be very hydrated. Well, not hydrated, but we'll be lubricated to talk about Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,
an absolutely hilarious episode. That's part two of their Milwaukee trip. Before we dive into that, it's all the usual things. Be sure to give us a follow on Patreon. We have our bonus episodes there. We did Blowdeck Sailing as our bonus episode this week. We have videos you could watch us instead of just listening with Crap It's On Demand. There's a group chat there. There's a Discord. There's a lot of stuff you can access there. And we're also going to be making some
cool, streamlined changes to our Patreon very, very, very soon. Hopefully, fingers crossed, by the end of the month. We'll see. Well, obviously, we'll give you the update because we literally update you guys on like, it's like, oh my God, this just didn't, there's a crumb on the table. So that is the news. Ronnie, how did you feel about this episode of Salt Lake City?
Loved it. So good, right? If it was a love it or list it, I would say love it. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry for all your hard work, but I'm not listing this property today. I loved it.
Yeah, you know I was nervous. You know I was nervous because it opened up with a gag Laverne and Shirley intro, which was cute, but I was like, uh-oh. Uh-oh, they don't have anything for us. They're just padding. They're padding the episode. They're coming up with visual gags to make up for, you know, a stagnant...
episode. I was like, this is bad news. Guess what? It was great. And it was just, it was just the editors having fun. And that's allowed. Speaking of bad news, you know what? There really is so much bad news right now going on in the country. I mean, in the world, really, but in the country, I hope everybody, I know everybody's not safe, but you know,
Our heart goes out to you out there. My God. People who've been affected by. It's absolutely insane. And we try not to really bring bad news up too much on this podcast because literally it happens every day. But, you know, we have to. I mean, this is crazy. And, you know, you guys are going through so much. We love you guys. Stay strong out there. My God. Help each other. Be nice to each other. This is the one time in life you have to be nice to other. Well, one of the times in life you have to be nice to other people. Be nice to them.
Ronnie's, of course, talking about, I'm assuming, people who have been victims of Hurricane Milton and prior to that, Hurricane Helene. So everyone from Florida through North Carolina. Those are real fuckers. My God, I've been watching the videos on the Tiki Taki. Those are terrifying. Oh, yeah. I was riveted. Oh, my gosh. I was glued to the TV last night watching this hurricane come in. I'm glad it wasn't as bad as people predicted, but it was still really pretty terrible. It's insane.
So you guys take care of yourselves, but also know that we live in a world where we do have a congratulations as well, because, you know, that tragedy is happening. But then also this is happening. So I want to congratulate Kyle Richards on being voted Us Weekly's reality star of the year. And I'd also like to congratulate whatever reporter wrote that for the sacks of money they got for writing it, because who the fuck would vote for that? Yeah.
You want to talk about not democracy, Us Magazine. I don't know who's running your country. You were in such a nice, warm place two seconds ago. I got mad. I got really mad. Well, it's like, okay, well, everyone who's been affected by this, these terrible hurricanes, you've now found your place of release and escapism. So let's talk about Whitney and Heather, bad weather. Oh, no. So, but anyway, this episode was great.
hilarious and so let's dive into it we do open up with this ridiculous liver and shirley opening credits which it was kind of funny because you know laverne and shirley every housewives show i think ever has had the two characters who are like we're just like laverne and shirley yeah and they're never like laverne and shirley or they say lucy and ethel it's one of the two you know they're like i love lucy or laverne and shirley they're never like any of those people um but this really leaned into it which i liked
I would kind of like the chocolate factory scene from I Love Lucy, though, at some point. Maybe Whitney and Heather could do that. I'd just like to see if the medication works and you can still take down all those little chocolates coming off of the assembly line because I need a new prescription. They won't be chocolates. They'll just be earrings from Alibaba coming in on delivery. Like, oh my God, so many earrings. I'm sorry, what? What story?
Alibaba, I believe. It's called Commerce. Do you mean Alibaba? Do you mean Alibaba? Alibaba. One thing about this Laverne and Shirley opening is I have to...
my heart, my heart was so happy for Brittany and Mailey because they got full on names in this, in this fake opening credits. I was like, they made it, they got their names printed on screen for all of America, especially, and it was great to see their last names. What was that? Mailey's last name, like workman. I was like, wow, I did not expect that. Um, also I feel like you don't have much working on these shows. That's exciting. And then, um,
And then the best part was that it ended with also starring Lisa Barlow. Well, she got her own credit. You know, that's good. She's like F. Marie Abraham.
Or like Al Pacino. Did you know Al Pacino just had a fucking baby, 84 years old. He just had another baby. I mean, what does your partner have to change both your diapers at the same damn time? Calm down over there. Nobody needs an 84-year-old father. You know, think of the children. You know, it's their time to poop, not yours. This is why we need to really, we really need to address toxic masculinity head on because it's giving too many people daddy issues. And next thing you know,
Someone's sleeping with Al Pacino. This is just not right. Yeah, whatever's going on emotionally in this country, that people are sleeping with Al Pacino right now and getting impregnated by Al. Come on, guys. Someone had that writhing over their body. They had Al Pacino. No one needs that. We saw Al Pacino in person. We randomly sat at a table next to Al Pacino once.
So we've seen Al Pacino in person. We now have a very distinct visual about that on top of someone else.
Yeah, we were sitting with Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin at the Beverly Hills Hotel years ago, and Al Pacino was next to us looking at us like a confused lost dog. I mean, he's sitting there. Who the fuck are you? Why are you here? Is this my house? He was looking like a dog that just kind of wandered in off the street. Like, is this my house? I was like, sir, you stole Diane Warren's hair. Stop starting with judgment. You're the one who stole her wig.
Okay, so we are here. Everybody's getting ready. Lisa's with her glam team, and they're talking about the box game. And the glam team's like, what is a box? And she's like, it's a spark.
So then we go to Bronwyn's room, who's on the phone with her husband, Todd. And he's like, hello. I said, no soliciting. No, honey, it's me. No soliciting. You do this again. I'm calling the police. I'm on a do not call list. My wallet's talking to me again. No, honey, it's not your wallet. It's your phone. How does my phone talk? I don't get it.
I'm getting a picture on my phone. Honey, it's a modern phone. Where's the liar? We didn't do this at Palm Pilot. It's like, honey, it's not a Palm Pilot. Palm Pilot's gone now. Ah, there's a credit card talking to me. Why is my hand flying? Honey, not this one again. It's called a Palm Pilot. Cut it, gout. Okay, honey. Yes, we know you've got gout.
So how are you doing, honey? My foot hurts. How do you think it's doing? There's a reason we didn't call it Foot Pilot Feet Shuck. I hate my foot. So he asked how the game was. And she's like, I don't think I watched a single play from the game. Because she said something like the fighting started.
She says something like, there was a fight and it started right when we got there, honey. And he's like, oh, must have been some interest in this closet. Hello? Hello? A cat stuck up a tree. Okay, honey, can you just move the camera back? All I can see is your eyebrow. Oh!
So she's like, well, you know, you have Heather yelling about a conversation, you know, and like, you could have said like, you know, I know Bronwyn. I know her very well. That's like not how the conversation went. You know, when she could have like, you know, Lisa could have said that to me and she didn't bother to. And I didn't have that conversation in the vacuum. I mean, you said stuff and I said stuff. Sorry, this was a flashback. I don't know why I'm going. Yeah. She's just telling him about the fight. And so he's like,
So then we cut back to her talking to him and she's like, well, obviously I was upset with Lisa and Heather about the ropes course lunch and I had to get that straightened out. He's like, well, I'm sorry. Could you talk a little slower? Who's roping who? Do you want my social security number? It's okay. My number is 73. Okay, honey.
so um she's saying like uh Lisa I've never fought with her before but she better come right and Heather uh we started on the wrong foot but hopefully I got my out last night and maybe we can have fun together I don't know but I do know this I'm gonna dress like a circuits clown today and you're gonna like it I know Bronwyn's frown smile is really going strong today because she's still so unhappy so she's she's just actively frowning through the entire episode I really love it the more she frowns I think the more I like her
So then we go to Mary's room and she's doing her hair and Whitney is going to have a cultural moment now. She's like, wait a second. What are you putting in your hair? And she's like, it's a straightening comb. I don't understand. She's like, it's for black girls. Whitney looked at her. Whitney like literally looks at this woman like calculus. She's just like,
her head exploded she's like she didn't know whether to believe it have you ever met a flat earther who's just so convincing that you're like well wait a minute no you know like somebody's trying to convince you of something and there's just that moment where you're like well i'll be open-minded you know and then it's like no whitney just has that look on her face like what this has blown her mind i don't know what i actually don't even know what has blown her mind more that there needs to be different different uh
items for different people's hairs or that there's just something called a straightening comb. She's like, I hear a straightening comb is what they use in Mormonism for certain people. No, it's not like that, Whitney. Oh yeah. Cause it's also a belt. It's not a belt, Whitney. I get it. Um, I use electroshock.
It's for the hair, Whitney. It's for the hair. But you said it's a straightening. So she's like, as hostess of this trip, I've taken a lot of notes from my predecessors, a.k.a. Meredith. We're not going to be coloring T-shirts or playing in a park.
We're going to tour the Miller factory and go to a drag show at Trixie's place. It's like, uh, wasn't that last year? Hey, was Whitney the one invited last year to the Trixie thing? Or is that Meredith? Why did they do that whole thing in Palm Springs? I think that they didn't, they co-host it. I don't remember. It was some sort of Trixie thing. Cause when he was like, I know Trixie. So I'm the president of Palm Springs now.
So yeah, that's good. But I'm friends with Trixie. She's like, but I have a gay son.
But I'm friends with Trixie. Well, there was no discussion either way about how close I was with Trixie, so I don't know why you're assuming that you're closer with Trixie. So she's, yeah, they're going to be going to the Miller factory for private burr tasting because we also found another way that when he says things, she says burr instead of beer. She says burr. Get some beer. Beer. Beer. We're going to have beer. Yeah.
So she goes, This drag show is what brought us to Milwaukee in the first place, and I just know tonight's gonna be incredible. Sure will be. Ow! What are you doing, Whitney? Straightening comb. It's not for you, Whitney. Whitney, that isn't your door key. No, but it's straightening comb. So then we go to...
Meredith goes to Lisa's room and she's like, hi, what did you think about last night? Didn't you love the boxcar? And Meredith's like, well, it was kind of interesting because, you know, I was talking to Angie and she said, well, you know, I'm having a hard time because Lisa doesn't seem to want to talk to me now. And she says,
Yeah, I know it's true. She started warning me that I should be able to love you. Why? Why? Why? And then Whitney joins in. Well, at least I think it was Whitney. It could have just been an Alibaba ripoff of her, which is kind of the same as the original Whitney, if you think about it.
i'm sorry if you ordered her from alibaba uh so then we see a flash night of the night before these whitney and andy i love that whitney also has another bad actor to work with her because angie and whitney together are hilarious they're like people in the chorus who got like three lines and they're just like milking them for all they're worth you know they're both like kind of coming up to meredith and just like
you know, what are the eels? The eels from Little Mermaid? Yeah, they are. They're like henchmen. You know, like when you see some like some
family movie that takes place in London and there's like two evil henchmen that come and try to like abduct a child like hi there mister why don't you come with us we got some candy and lots of fun games to come with us it's like that's what they are like they're just like Meredith we have some news for you which is ridiculous because Angie and Meredith hate each other so why in any there's no context in which Angie would just come over to Meredith and confide something about someone else to her
Yeah, and Whitney's like, she said nasty things. Yeah, you know, it's like she said that you fucked half of New York. Do not forget that. That was a long time ago, but it still lives in our hearts. Well, I mean, it's like the twilight is on.
I mean, obviously Whitney and Angie are having issues with Lisa, and they want me to join their team. But Lisa and I have worked really hard to get to a positive place and forgive each other, and she hasn't done anything new. So why would I get upset with her? What's the point of that? Because I need all the allies I can get to go after Whitney about Alan Warbler.
And Lisa's just like, I'm so shocked that people are trying to tell Meredith that I'm not trustworthy. Who's not trustworthy? I mean, like, literally, are you looking in a mirror? Because you're talking to yourself. Because if you think I'm trustworthy, you should look at yourself because you're untrustworthy. Ooh, give me a Benson and Hedges because I just started a burn. Am I right, sisters? Yeah.
Well, they're trying to turn you against me. And then Lisa has her sick burn of the episode. There's no reason why you should be like trying to fuck with my friendship. Friendship fuckers.
it's a good one it's so hardball don't love that so we cut back to whitney and heather's or we cut to whitney and heather's room and they're like oh my god look at us we're such good friends right now we're like sisters we're like laverne and shirley they like a bear like yeah we're like from that show this is amazing look i even got us t-shirts made
Oh, I was hoping that one of them would be like a nurse's uniform. No, that's a different Laverne. Okay, Whitney, just keep up. Okay, well, I'm feeling really torn. When Meredith told me about the rumors about Whitney's business, I was hoping that Meredith would bring it up to Whitney, but she didn't. So I guess I'm going to have to be the one that starts this fight. Okay.
Gosh, when Meredith came to me and wanted to start something with Whitney, I thought maybe she'll start something with Whitney. But now I'm going to start something with Whitney against Meredith for Meredith because I'm a good friend. I wonder if I'll have a chance later on in the season to say, this is what you do, Meredith. You put in a seed and you make us do it for you. Yeah.
Because this is what always happens. Meredith is like, well, I opened up a fortune cookie and inside were FCC filings and FEC filings and SEC filings all about Whitney's business. Just putting it out there. And then they go and tell Whitney and do all the dirty work. Yeah. So then...
we see the flashback of Meredith telling Heather about and Heather's like rumors like this they can hurt a new business so Whitney needs to know so that she can start doing damage control but like I just feel so bad I mean I wouldn't want to hurt Whitney and I wouldn't want her to fight with Meredith what's going to happen girls and
Is that something that Laverne would do to Shirley? I'm like, yes, I believe so. I've never seen, I've actually never seen an episode of Laverne and Shirley, but I'm pretty sure it's based off of a mutual hatred of each other that they've masked with friendship, right? No, it's not about that. And if this was our show, it would be called Laverne and Shirley.
Well, you know what? For never watching Laverne and Shirley. I mean, Jesus Christ. What did you just skip the Bible to? Well, I will say this. We know this is a show built on friendship because a real friend would tell you, Ronnie, that your microphone has fallen to very quiet levels. I think when you adjusted. I bet.
There it is. Speak again. Hello, hello, hello, hello. It's still really quiet. I don't know. I think when you were rearranging your angle, you must have knocked something out of place in your car. Ronnie's recording from his car today because there is construction overhead in the office. So we have... There we go. Better or worse? There we go. No, it's good. That was the classic Ronnie volume that we were grown accustomed to.
This is in the little center console in the car right now while we record. You must have hit one of the knobs by accident, huh? Yeah, I think so. And for those who are just listening, Ronnie held up a piece of recording equipment that has knobs on it. No, I'm so sorry that my hips are childbearing. Okay? Did you get that? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Krappens commercial.
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what you'll wear on that third date. Download the Instacart app today to get free delivery on your first three orders while supplies last. Minimum $10 per order. Additional terms apply. So, um, now we go back to Whitney talking to Lisa. She's like, Hey, so we're going to the Miller Caves to try some burr. What? What do you mean the Miller Caves? What's that? Like Miller Burr? Laverne and Shirley? That's stupid. I'm going to pass on that. You're dumb. What?
What do you mean? I hope you die. I'm going to pass. Wait, does this have to do with the straightening comb? Because I just learned about that too. Are you in a stupid straightening comb patch? I hate you. I hope you die in your sleep. Hey, Whitney, take a nap so you could possibly die in your sleep. I'll cross my fingers. So you're not going to come try burr? No, I don't even know what burr is. It's like, um...
It's like what you, it's like, it's something that feels really good when you drink it and like makes you feel drunk. And it's probably- Oh, why are you stabbing me in the back? It's a fate and income. Come, try to have beer, come have beer with us. No! So Lisa's not going to go because she's mad because she just found out from Meredith that Whitney and Angie were trying to turn Meredith against her. So the beer girls all hop into a van and have a beer.
And Heather's like, where's everyone else? And Whitney is like, I knocked on Lisa's door and she's like, I'm not going. And then I said, why? And she goes, I don't feel like it. And I said, why? And she goes, I don't feel like it. But I go, why? And she goes, I don't feel like it. Well, somebody hit Whitney. She's in a loop. Next thing I know, she's gone with Brittany and Maylee. Yeah.
He is mainly one of the mains at the hotel. Who was that? So, cut to 30 minutes earlier. Lisa is like, hey, friends off. So, I'm mad at the other girls. So, do you want to go curling with me? Oh, yeah. I heard there's a straightening comb that's going to be involved. No, that's something else. That's different.
So they're like, sure. Is Whitney going to be mad? She's like, Whitney won't be mad. Why would Whitney be mad? You know what? This friendship is like Kit Kats. It's better when we break off every once in a while. Take a piece of that Kit Kat bar. Everything's going to be great, girls. I'm going to pretend to like you for a few minutes. You're going to have so much fun. You're welcome.
So back in the van, Bronwyn's like, that is a wild shift to not only are we like good enough to go do something, but we're like good enough to go do something and exclude you to who invited her in as a friend. Are you guys following? Like, we should hate on Lisa now, right? Like, we all hate Lisa. I hate Lisa. Like, if I did a hot ticket in town, I guess I didn't deserve that.
Bronwyn coming in at full throttle hottie is so funny to me. She's always dressed so stupidly. She's so angry at Lisa. It's hilarious. She can't control it. She's like trying to smile like she's having a good time, but she's actively frowning. Like...
Guess we're in the cool bus now because Lisa sucks, right, guys? Right? She does know how to call it, though, this Bronwyn. I think she's very spicy, and I'm really warming up to her. I really like her a lot. She really knows how to call it. She's like, well, Mellie and Brittany, I mean, come on. If I know Lisa, those were the first faces she saw in the hallway, and she said, come. You're coming on this trip with me, which is exactly what happened. Right?
She's like, that actually makes sense to me. Like she senses that this is just to get back at Whitney and she didn't even care who she pulled in. It's like, just, you've got a white band, you're circling the car, you're circling the school. You're just going to grab whatever kid comes out. What are you going to hold auditions? You know, she's like, get in the van. Carling.
So, yeah, Bron was basically like, yeah, I told Lisa, I don't think she's been a good friend to me recently. And so that's probably why I'm not on the hot list as much as curling can be on the hot list. And Angie's like, I am not good with Lisa either. We met and tried to talk the day after her party. And we see a flashback of that where Lisa's like, this is who I am. This is who I am. I'm not going to change who I am. This is how I've always been.
So, Angie's like, it didn't really feel resolved. She left upset, and I haven't heard from her since outside of being together. Yeah, you know, I've known Lisa for 15 years, and, you know, we have talked about really deep, important things together. She's one of, I've had my friends for life. I've had Brow Girl. Best Brow Girl in Salt Lake City, too, by the way. Brow Girl.
But I thought our relationship was meaningful, but Lisa pulling away and going dark on me is her fault. Lisa going dark. What is she in Zero Dark Seven? It's like, we've lost Lisa. She's gone dark. Yeah, it's like Monday on Broadway. Everyone needs a day off, even hoofers. So Mary's like, she hasn't talked to you? I mean, what?
In big groups, but we used to talk every day. And Whitney's like, the only thing that makes sense is if Meredith, did you tell her about what we talked about last night? She's like, oh, yes, I did. Of course I did. And then she's like, oh, there you go. Yeah, there you go. New news. I'm going to deliver it much faster than Alibaba. Yeah.
Okay, well, it now makes sense why Lisa is not here. And Heather's like, so is she avoiding Angie or is she avoiding Whitney? Are you hilarious? So Mary is like, she's like, I'm confused. So now we go over to
The curling, the curling place. And they, Lisa and the ladies meet Tom, the curling coach. She's like, oh my God, I love this. I've always wanted a perm. When do we start? He's like, um, well, this is a different kind of curling, but we have some grippers for your feet. And she's like, oh my God. Yes. Thank you.
By the way, thank you for squeezing us in the last minute. Like our friends are doing something else and I was like, I don't really want to be around them today. So we're here at this whatever shitty icy thing with rocks that you got going on for us. Yeah, we're just here to put the cheese on our feet. The cheese? The curls.
Those are cheese curds, and this is not that. Oh, okay. Well, whatever it is, at least it's not that stupid thing my other friends are doing. They're going to something called a bear cave. He's like, wait a minute. The bear caves? Yeah, isn't that dumb? No, it's not dumb. It sure is. It's so stupid. That thing's so stupid, he couldn't even get his parents to pay for it to go on a mission. He's like, no, that's like an amazing thing here in Milwaukee. It's like...
really important to us that's our culture it's like the coolest thing we've ever done she's like oh my god am i messing up where's sue who sue yeah curly sue isn't she around here so then um we go over to the caves eminence like wow look at this cave you know what i call this season six rental for me and seth
Welcome to Miller Valley Caves. And Heather's like, this is so cool. We're in an actual cave right now. This is amazing. Wow, a cave. Oh my gosh, I'm going to tell that stalactite that another stalactite was talking behind its back and I'm going to watch the stalactites go at each other, but only because I'm a good friend. The stalactite's like, hey bitch. Like, oh my god, it's a monica stalactite. We have to go. So, Ben...
Ben, the guy, is like... The other stalactite is like, but what about me? Oh my god, a genshaw stalactite! It's the ghosts of our past seasons. The rocks just start falling on their head. The revenge of genshaw. Did that stalactite just throw that stalagmite under a bus? Yeah, that stalagmite was called Stuart. Oh, wow.
Well, we're in a cave here because back before refrigeration existed, this is how we kept beer cold. Wow, so you're saying that you guys knew how to keep beer cold before I had ice cream? So now back to curling. Okay, Maile, let's see what you got. And Maile's like, sis.
And they start curling and Lisa's like, "When I think of curling, I think of like lifting weights, but this is fine. Like anything's better than hanging out with Whitney." And then Maile tells us a little bit of her backstory. She's like,
And then we see pictures of her as a teenager in an ice skating outfit. So I guess that was her thing. She was a figure skater at one point in her life. Yeah. This is the most sweeping I've done in years. And actually, I'm really good at it. But I hope no one at home gets any ideas because it's not happening there.
So then they're trying so hard to have fun. The newbies are like, we're auditioning. Look at us. We're curling. Woohoo. We're girls. And Lisa's just trying to pretend she can stand these people. She's like, wow, we're going to the Olympics, girls. This is amazing. They do not look like they're having fun. No. I actually would have loved it. I love curling. I've never done it before, but I love watching it. So then back to the beer cave, Ben is like,
So we have a handful of cheeses to pair. So everything on your plate is from Milwaukee. Okay, so there's a cheddar cheese and another cheddar cheese. And that right there is a cheddar cheese. So I, by the way, I hear that one of you hasn't had beer before. Who hasn't had beer? Who's the lucky lady who gets to try Miller beer for the first time? And Mary's like, I haven't. He goes, well, guess what? Are you familiar with champagne? She's like, yes. Well, guess what? This is the champagne of beers.
Which we all know is the slogan for Miller High Life. But I think, but Mary apparently thinks it's a literal beer champagne.
Yes. And we get a flashback to Mary's knowledge of champagne back in the first season when she's like, you guys, you're drinking Dom Perignon 2003. That came out in 2003. And there was a heat wave and 5,600 people died. And it made the best grapes of all time. These are people grapes. Enjoy the people grapes. I think that's a bus driver. So...
So then Mary tastes the beer and we all are like, I'm bracing for her to be like, this is vile. I don't know why people drink beer. What's wrong with it? I don't put stuff like that in my body. But she's like, I like it. She goes, I had no idea there's like upscale beer. It's real. Yes, Miller High Life.
Okay, and then the next beer is something fun and fresh from Wisconsin. Are we pairing it with cheese curds? And Angie's like, how about feta cheese? I am Greek. Okay, I was waiting for everybody to jump in there, but no one did. Whitney's like, she can't escape the Greek. I mean, look, I'm Whitney, and even I understand that feta cheese is from Greece now. Yeah.
It's been so much. So now they have another beer and everyone's like, wow, delicious. To be fair, neither group event looks like anyone's really having fun. I mean, Mary's had a beer and I think it's so funny because Mary's complete personality change is just shocking to me. I've never seen anyone able to fake it this well.
i know i was surprised when at the end she was like um excuse me can you hand me a box so that way i can box up my own jesus thank you so much i'll be the one to do it totally changed i didn't even notice she did that that's hilarious no i made that up but but like but honestly i love both of these events i believe everything you know for someone who lies literally all day and all day i believe everything i'm told i do
Wow. What a great scene. That's going to live in my memory now. Like it really happened. I know it really will. I know it will. So back to the, back to the old curling center, Brittany's like, guys, let me tell you something. Okay. Let's get something to drink guys. And by the way,
Jared texted me again. I missed a call and I have another voicemail. That's like three outreaches from an Osmond. Shut up. And she's like, it was just devastating to hear that Jared was texting Angie's brow girl. And we get a flashback of that. And all the girls like, oh my God, he was texting the brow girl. She's like, guys, hold on. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I need to give a speech. I need to give a speech. Guys,
I need to know exactly when it was that Jared was texting a brow girl. That is not a speech. Yes, it is.
You know, Jared keeps texting me and I don't want to text him back until I've processed everything. Like the cheese they're probably eating at the Miller factory. And I need to figure out why I keep choosing men that always have one foot out the door. Oh, that's right. Because he's an Osmond and they're at the top of the food chain in Utah. Okay, figured it out. I'm ready to move on. Well, look, I think Jared seems terrible, first of all. And Brittany seems like a goddamn mess, but at least she seems sweet.
I guess. But then he released that, um, that thing last week, that message where he's like, Brittany is such an asshole. Yeah. For anyone who hasn't read it, I'm not reading it, but it's, uh, basically, you know, she tricked him and made him look crazy. And, um,
he, he's the one who got her on the show. Cause he's so famous. Hey, well, he just seems like a real fucking douche bag. Okay. Yeah. Now that said, Brittany seems a little nuts and I just wonder like the whole, why do I keep choosing men with one foot out the door? Are, are,
Are their feet both inside the door before you get there? Are you sure they're not walking by on the sidewalk? Do you understand what a doorway is? You know, a doorway and a sidewalk. Okay. Because you might be like kind of a fart in that room. You know what I mean? Where someone's like, should I leave? Is it bad enough to leave? And they put one foot at the door and they're just waiting for the attack, the assault. And they're like, well, I could stay, you know, or I could go. You know, sometimes you need to say, why are people always leaving? You know?
Look above your head. Is there an exit sign? Maybe. Maybe that's what it is. Are you standing at the door of the plane and has the plane just landed? So...
They're reading a text from Jared and he's saying things like, I can't believe you've done this. You basically terminated our friendship. And they're like, look, it says friendship. It doesn't even say relationship. He doesn't say anything that says that. It's even worse than this. The text is like, hey, best friendy. Hey.
Hey, best friend, friend only. He's like, hey, one friend. I mean, he's like, hey, friend only. It's me, one foot out the door, just on my way out, but wanted to take the time and text you and say hi. And she's like, yeah, I just can't. I can't take it, guys. And I need to process. And Lisa's like, Brittany, red flags, red flags. He's saying, friendship, not relationship. Brittany, friendship is not relationship.
Yeah, and we see some of the text and he's like – he basically is like, wow, I got my head bit off. That's real fun, Brit. Hey, give me a call. I thought I meant a little bit more to you than to just go dark on me. Obviously, you're not sending me read receipts anymore or read receipts. So you've terminated the friendship. I love that that's like – that's the line for him. It's like, wow, you used to tell me when – you used to indicate when you've read my texts and now I have no idea when you've read them. This is really the end of the line for our relationship. And by relationship, I mean platonic friendship. That's also –
That also, yeah, our friendship only. But that also says so much about her, too, that she's like, you know what? I'm going to turn on my red receipts so that Jared sees that I've read the text and have ignored the text. Yes. Come on. What are you, 12? So, yeah.
like your fillers are older than 12 you know what i mean like stop so then um she's like well i thought i meant more damn and she goes oh i thought i meant a little bit more no that's so manipulative what he's saying he's the one he said that not you but also they show her last night when she's telling the girls uh oh the brow girl was on february 17th well guys not to make excuses but i think we were on a break we're back together ding ding ding ding ding ding back
We're back, guys. You know, I haven't known Brittany that long, but I feel like she's the quintessential LDS girl. And in this case, I mean, little dumb slut. Born and bred to please a man. That's the norm for like this culture to be valuable. But that's a very outdated way of thinking.
And she's like, listen, you don't need a man to fulfill your life. Well, why are you saying that? You have your husband. Oh, John. John fulfills my trunk when I need groceries loaded in. Or he fulfills my fingers when I need rings put on them. But I mean, come on. He's basically an order fulfiller, but I don't need him. We have Instacart now. Sure.
So Brittany goes, what he did behind my back, it was treasonous. It was treasonous. Yeah, that's a good word for that. That's a good word. Doesn't really make, doesn't make sense in the context of you, but yeah, treasonous, sure. Why not?
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Those are the caves and the girls are all cheersing. And Bronwyn's like, oh, well, when before we got here, I was talking to Todd and he loves that we're here because his first job was with Miller Brewing Company. He was the packaging manager. Wow.
I mean, great. Not here, but he was here for six months. I mean, it's just great. He's done so many things. And I met him, you know, like we're like second marriage way later in life. So I just didn't live here with him. I mean, he said so much before I got there. He actually told me, you know, the first friend that he had that stopped dragging his knuckles on the ground actually taught him how to blow up balloons. It's crazy. Yeah.
You know, he said he remembers he was putting a Miller beer into a box when news came down the pike that Archduke Ferdinand had been assassinated and World War I had begun. So this is a lot of special meaning for him, this place. He remembers when the beheading law was passed here because it was like literally one week after that let them eat cake lady Marie Antoinette got beheaded.
I mean, poor thing. What timing? Am I right? I'm so glad I wasn't alive back then. He said he apparently he actually did pack up a slice of cake to send to France and his friend was like, no, it was a joke. So it's hilarious this whole life. It's really never gotten humor. It's funny. And then he was even 50 years old and he still didn't get it. Yeah. He's been around a while, huh?
So, yeah, so she's saying, like, basically he had a whole life before she was even born. And he'd say things like, wow, he didn't have a color TV when he was a child. And I'm like, what? So that's why sometimes I dress like a black and white TV. I just love avant-garde fashion. Yeah, I wear them sometimes. Just walking around in a black and white TV. I wouldn't put it past her. She's very into literal clothing.
So, um, go back to the other point. Oh no. The beer guy, we're sold the same place. And the beer guy's like, guys, guess what I got for you? Ghost stories. There's ghosts here. And they all just stare at him. He's like, no one ghosts. They're really nice ghosts. They're Wisconsin ghosts. So if you ever heard a ghost that goes, boo, oops, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Just trying to get on through, go through the hallway here. Hope you're having a lovely day. Okay. See you later.
These are beer factory ghosts. So they'll burp at you once in a while, but usually they'll blow it to the side. You know, sometimes late at night in my house, you know, they say my house was haunted and late at night. If you are really quiet, you can hear the ghosts. You go out into the hallway and you're like, Oh, what was that sound? And then you hear it's a ghost saying, Hey, did you catch yes, dear tonight? No, honey, that's been off the air for like 12 years. Oh God, that's too bad. Who hasn't, who hasn't been in my right? Yeah.
The Ghost I Love, yes, dear. Great show for ghosts. Don't even get them started on King of Queens. Oh, gosh. Ah, the Monday Night Lineup on CBS. It's no wonder that CBS actually has a show called Ghosts. That's the number one demographic.
You want to see a bunch of people die again, watch them laugh to death. Watch the CBS. That show hearts of fire. God, the ghosts love that though. Every single second. It's like, Oh my God, Marky post Marky post. So,
So, yep, Galategos. And Heather's like, oh, that sounds great, but can I just stay here and maybe open some Blue Moon? That sounds better. So everybody's like, okay, I guess we'll go see this ghost thing. So they...
This is the first time I've seen housewives. Well, not the first, but in a long time where housewives are given an activity and they don't woo. I know. Ghost stories are just like a fuck. Now we got to go see ghost stories. Well, because they're drinking beer, eating cheese. And now they've got to shuffle off to some random room with two teenagers standing behind a bar. And, um,
And so basically, Whitney and Heather left alone. They're like, oh my God, it's like the good old days. And then the rest, they go into this room. These two kids are behind the bar. They're like ready to give their factory, you know, factory tour ghost story. Can I just say about these tour guides who are standing back there? It's like Donald Trump would say,
They didn't send their best. Is that what he would say? That's his famous line. We need to build a wall. They're not sending us their best. It's like, this is a fucking asshole. But it just made me think of that because they're just like, okay, and here for the ghost stories, here's Darren and Justine. Justine, yeah. She's just like, one thing that a ghost story for him,
Ghosts are dead people. One thing that Ronnie and I have learned over the summer, since we both took the Guinness factory tour, and then I took the Heineken factory tour, these like teenagers that do these tours that give you like little bits of information suck at their job. Here's a fun fact.
How many people here have ever heard of wheat? Wheat? Yes, well, in 1912 Mortimer P. Johnson brought wheat
to Amsterdam and that concludes our tour you're like what the fuck is this so you know that's what they were gonna get which is why it was good that Meredith took over she's I mean Mary took over she's like oh my dad and Meredith's dad and my dad are from Milwaukee and my dad used to live a street across from Jeffrey Dahmer and one day he was taping off they were taping off the apartment and they were bringing out bags to the police cars and it was like I had no idea there were body parts in those bags and they were cooked and that's like the only thing I really have to know about Milwaukee and they're like oh
We were going to talk about a dead cat that walks around these caves. Okay, fine. She just tells that same story, but now she adds the cooked body parts. Yeah, another cooked. And then everyone's like, what the fuck with this lady? Everyone was kind of cracking up. And then Mary tells us, yeah, but my dad did lie sometimes. So I hope he's not lying about that.
because I literally just told everybody the body parts and Tupperware like the leftovers so she's like so you can see why I didn't come here basically he's like okay well that was the beer people the beer kids don't even try I think well I guess we should officially quit now we're done we're fucking done
So back to Heather and Whitney. And Heather's like, you know what? You've planned a great trip and you did a great job. But there's something I want to talk to you about. I was talking to Meredith yesterday at the casino and she said that people are talking about Prism. Add your business. In what way? Is it catching on? Well, it's legitimacy. Basically, you're white labeling jewelry from China. Everybody's talking about it. White labeling.
"I don't have a racist bone in my body!" No, that's not what that means. Well, they need— What are you combing your hair with? Straightening brush. Whitney, focus! Wait, now what are you combing your hair with? Cheese. It's okay, Whitney. Whitney, why are you pretending you're underwater? I'm under bear. Whitney! Come back! I've had too much burr.
So that needs to stop because that's really shit. That's really shitty because that's my business. And there's like nothing shady because it's pictures and it was a social media post. And so when somebody saw the social media post, they said, is this one of your friends who's doing it?
Whitney, the social media post had pictures from your website that were the same exact pictures from the Alibaba. So the fact that it was posted on the website on social media does not change that. And it doesn't matter if it was one of your friends. But I love that Whitney immediately goes to this was Meredith because, of course, she does.
Right. So, um, and it's like, it's blatantly from like, blah, blah. So when he's like, well, whoever said that's fucked up. Well, I mean, what Heather was saying feels like the stuff that's out there would kill your brand. If your brand ever had come to life in the first place. Um, did she not fucking learn her lesson after last year? Stay out of MDs. I mean, DMS stay out of documents.
And she's like, last year, Meredith nearly lost all of her friends because she took up TMs about Angie. And then we see all the stuff from last year about, well, I heard that Angie might be involved with the British Mafia, the Greek Mafia, or whatever her and Monica were talking about. Like fighting over who started that and that whole thing.
But Whitney, how many brands do you have? I wouldn't worry about this. Doesn't Brittany have like 30 brands a week? She's always coming out with some new brand. Now, have we heard of Whitney Rose, Bobby Justin,
you know, Filet-O-Fish, whatever the hell other brand she's got now. No, last season. No, because now she's got this new one called Soul. And that's a big deal right now. Have you seen the TikToks of that? No, I have not seen her Soul. There's a girl who's like, um, not me being the one who worked for Soul. And then she does like. Well, when I think of Whitney, I think of Soul. S-O-L with like a line over the O. Oh, which Soul.
Yeah. So it's basically these people are saying this is a huge MLM and it's a scam. And the company had an event that they all had to pay their own airfare and tickets for it was like $5.
a couple hundred bucks to pay for the ticket for this business affair and they all were going to show up but right before the event they canceled it and they didn't reimburse them and instead threw some free event where anybody could come to kind of make it up to them but it was just basically you know this girl saying they're scammed and it was this big um this big mlm thing which guys utah whitney
business justin rose mlm what do you think it's gonna be okay get ready to climb the fucking pyramid because that's what you're signing up for now that said whitney shame shame whitney
Well, I think it's embarrassing and shameless that Meredith has gone back to her old tricks. That's just so fucked up. I think she's so pissed off that I started a jewelry company. She comes from a place of, like, gatekeeping and fur. She doesn't come from a place of abundance. Ha!
I don't know why that made me laugh. Whitney is a place of abundance. Spiritual talk. She does have an abundance candle. Where's your abundance candle? All I see is a gatekeeping candle. She's never supported my business. Anytime I've done something for my business, she has not shown up.
Well, you're usually in the middle of trying to ruin her entire reputation, to be fair. Not that Meredith is completely innocent in this stuff with Whitney, but oh my gosh. So then Heather is like, well, it didn't feel like she was the source of the information. I think that you should ask her where she heard it. You're going to see these people. You see those people over there holding those things? The cameraman? Okay, you've got it. That's good. Wait for me.
Then when Meredith comes in You're gonna ask her It's gonna be wacky We're like Laverne and Shirley This is crazy You're gonna get her You go get her Whitney You know what If she were my friend She would be like Hey Whitney Did you see this Nope She's going to all of you To make me look Hold on Line And discredit me That's fucked up
So she's like, don't say anything in the Sprinter van, okay? Sprinter van's bad. Wait till later until we're in the second Sprinter van. With everyone. So then the other crew is back at the guest house looking through the fridge. And then Whitney calls Maylee to try and have a passive-aggressive scene, but it doesn't really work. She's like, so...
You didn't come to Miller. And Millie's like, curling? But you didn't tell me you were going curling. Yeah, well, I would like a heads up. Okay, this fight's over now.
I want to let you know that we're on our way back and then we're going to Hurley. Can you have everyone start getting ready because we have to leave at five? So everyone gets back. Everyone is in glam. Everyone's getting made up to have their fancy dinner at Harley Davidson. And Heather and Whitney are talking.
Now we're back in the Sprinter van, by the way. We had like a little interlude. Now everyone is in the Sprinter van together to go to Harley Davidson. And Heather's like, Whitney, are you excited for tonight? Just a reminder, this is Sprinter van number two, which means you are all good to go for your confrontation. Okay. And so Whitney, you see Whitney like, oh, okay. She like picks up a cane like she's about to do her dance. Like, where's my light? Okay.
It has been an amazing trip, Sister Heather. Thank you so much. Or should I say Laverne?
The one for Laverne and Shirley, not the empty nest, Laverne. Just want to clarify because I learned there's a difference. It has been amazing until I found out that y'all are talking about my business. It has been brought to my attention that Summer is starting Woomers. Can you guess who I'm talking about? Nastiness, too.
That I buy pieces from Alibaba, which is completely false. I'm sorry, I never said that. I never said that. I said, my girl, you are getting your pieces from Alibaba. What was that, Meredith? I didn't hear the last part of that word that you swallowed. Alibaba.
I can't tell if that's Meredith or Maile speaking. Maile's like, Oh, Ali Baba. Thanks, Maile.
Well, I didn't think anyone started the rumor. I simply told Heather that I felt badly about the rumor because I'm a professional in the business with multiple awards. I could have helped you through this had you called me, but apparently you don't need my help because you'd rather sit on the Internet and shop at all and barter.
As someone who has a small jewelry shop in Park City that was once robbed by Jen Shaw's assistant, I have a lot of expertise in these things, but that's fine if you don't want to tap the natural resource that lives...
With you here in Milwaukee. So she's like, but if you were concerned, why didn't you pick up the phone and call me? Ha. And Meredith is like, because you didn't want to discuss it with me. You want every opportunity to say, hey, I'm starting something in your industry. Do you have advice? Anything? Do you want to have some investment? Would you like to be on Shark Tank? You clearly didn't want my advice. That's fine. That's fine.
And then Whitney goes, well, if there was something wrong with my business, I would come to you then. And she goes, well, then there's nothing wrong with your business. I didn't say there was something wrong with your business. Do you feel like there's something wrong with my business? Well, you feel like there's something wrong when you would come to me, but apparently there's nothing wrong with my business because you didn't come to me about it, so there's nothing wrong with it. Is there something wrong? What are you saying is wrong?
You came under fire on social media. Oh my God. Oh my God. Does someone have a blanket? I'm on fire. No, it's an expression. Your business was under fire and it's not literally under fire. It's okay. And I felt badly. That was the case. I'm not sitting here trying to figure out your business. Well, you're talking about it. You're talking about it. That's for sure. Well, how...
I just don't understand why you're so concerned but you're talking to all of them and not me I'm not concerned I'm not concerned Mary's like oh lord have mercy I can't blah blah blah blah blah blah blah what are we doing what are we doing Whitney is like
really upset about this fighting because this is a special night for her. This fighting that she started, by the way, I'd like to point out. She's like, Guys, this is a really cool night for me. I'm a Harley Davidson girl. I love it. They've opened up the museum. They don't do this. We're having a dinner inside. It's my dream. A gourmet feast at a motorcycle museum. Can we put a pin in this? Ow!
Whitney, give me back my comb. Mary, why did you bring your straightening comb to Harley Davidson?
So they decide that it's time to go to the museum for dinner. So they go in and Whitney tells us about Harley Davidson. Lunch in a cave and dinner at a Harley Davidson showroom. Sure. They're really going for it. So she talks about how she loves Harley Davidson. I love a Harley. I ride a hog. I own a hog.
We go to Sturgis. So it's cool. I get to share it with my friends. So we see all that stuff. I have a question. I'm not being funny. I woke up at like five in the morning, in the middle of the night, and I had a pressing question on my brain because of the stupid episode. I was like, it was like a Whitney Rose question. Wait a second. If you go to Sturgis, but you live in Utah, how do you get your motorcycle to Sturgis?
Do you drive? You don't drive your motorcycle. Do you have to put your motorcycle in like a carrier thing and like tow it like a horse thing? Like how do you get? Like a trailer or something or some people have a trailer. Yeah, like a motorcycle hitch that they can put or like a pickup. You can put it on a motorcycle hitch in the back of a pickup. I literally woke up thinking about this. How do you get to Sturgis if you don't live near Sturgis with your motorcycle? That's a long way to go on a motorcycle. How do you haul that be?
So you think it would, Ronnie, do you think you'll go to Sturgis with your Vespa? No, I don't even know what Sturgis is. It's like this massive motorcycle rally that happens in like North or South Dakota. And it's like,
It's like, if you have a motorcycle, you go to Sturgis in August or July or whatever. People are different and we don't get respect. Like motorcycle people hate us. I went, when I first started, I used to go to the Canyon. I used to do cold water Canyon all the time to practice on the Hills and like those canyons all around the West side.
And one of them, it's like famous, there's like a motorcycle cafe where everybody, like all the Harley people park all the way up the canyon. And you go in, and I went in because I was like, oh, I heard this was a great ride. And it was a good ride. But then I walked in and it was...
Just felt like I was in a Western. I felt like everybody dropped their, you know, their teacups food. It's like you could hear a clink in there. And I just felt like everyone was like this, but your little best, but faggito burrito. Go to Neptune's net. Neptune's net is also a big bite. And also happens.
crappins uh it's a crappins friendly establishment yeah um so okay so this dude comes out and talks about harley's oh my they love i'm sorry to interrupt you again this guy he's like the vp he's like he's actually like a he's he's a davidson not like eileen but um like of harley and um and so whitney is like fanning out at this like guy who is
You know, he's got Harley Davidson in his blood because he is descendant from the founders of the company. And you think with Harley Davidson, especially like the story you just told, it's like, oh, Harley Davidson. And this guy comes out, he's like, hey, guys, I'm Bill Davidson. Welcome to our factory. Hope you guys have enjoyed. You guys want a hug? You guys can have a hug. Welcome to Harley Davidson. Yeah. Basically, you know, my grandpappy had a dream. He said, I just want people to be able to ride hugs.
But we couldn't figure that out. So we chose motorcycles. My grandpappy, he had a dream. He said, I want to create a vehicle that instead of you just get on it and you go someplace, you get on it and you sit on it for five minutes while all the neighbors around you get really annoyed because you haven't actually gone anywhere with your motorcycle yet. But they can't hear anything in their own damn homes because your motorcycle is so loud. And then after five minutes, you finally decide to leave and go where you're going to go.
Yeah, so everybody's like, wow, motorcycles. Wow, Whitney, how exciting. Look, there's a motorcycle over there as well. Whitney, look, it's a motorcycle. She's like, wow, this is my dream come true. Next season, Whitney Rose starts a company, Barley Favotson. I think you got those motorcycles off of Alabama. Friend of a friend on Facebook.
So Bronwyn is like, I stay surprised at how these women choose to act. Like it was a full on assault on the Sprinter van. And now they're on their best behavior. They're acting like ladies. It like took Harley Davidson Museum to bring out the classy side of these hoes. Like, are we in the upside down right now? Like what is happening?
Yeah, I mean, welcome. You're on the Housewife Show. I don't know. Did you apply for a different job? Did you think you were going to be working at Starbucks? Okay. They probably have better health care. They're unionized now, right? Starbucks? I'm rockin' me. Okay, so then, Brittany, so they all sit down, so...
So, Brittany's like, well, cheers to Whitney. And she's like, well, I wanted to give everyone one of my custom designs. They're like, great. Mary's like, oh, wonderful. I hope this doesn't turn my skin green. Yeah. I really, whether you want it or not, I want to gift it to you all. It's called a straightening comb. Whitney, give that back.
I wanted to give these to you earlier, but it's like, I found out that you're all talking about it, so that's why I was emotional. So, Meredith, I just think that if you truly cared, you'd pick up the phone and call me and not talk about what was out there. Drop it already. It's like the typical Whitney. Bring it up every freaking day, why don't you? Every minute of every day. And Meredith is like, you want me to listen to a much bigger deal than it really is. All right?
I felt badly about it. That was it. Now, Lisa, did I say that to you when you brought it up to me? It's like she's finally passing the torch to Lisa because it's not even Meredith, you know? So Whitney goes, wait a minute. Bottom line, it's just not. Yeah, yeah. You know what? I feel like I started the conversation. It was me. It was me. Hi. Hi. It's me. But I'm talking to Meredith. You should be talking to me because I'm the one who did it. Meredith.
Meredith, I'm talking to you. Please don't pull other people in, even though I'm addressing this at a group dinner for some reason. Can we keep this between you and I? And then Lisa's like, you know what? I think you need some help because you're off. You're saying something that's not true and you're making it something that it's not, Whitney. And Whitney's like, stop stimrolling me. Stop it. Uh,
Better stop it. And Lisa's like, oh God, are we going to do that? Should I talk like you now? Did Whitney mock her voice? I can never tell because Whitney's voice doesn't really change. I couldn't tell. And Angie's like, let's not mock each other. And Lisa's like, it's awful being attacked online. It's awful having people say things about you. Oh!
And Whitney's like, but what I'm mad about is y'all talked about it and didn't come to me directly. You know, that's why I married Justin. He works in direct sales. He is direct. You know what you did?
That's called gossip. Whitney, Whitney, Whitney, Whitney. Yes, yes, Lisa, Lisa has a question. Whitney, Whitney. Yes. This is the same thing to me, Whitney. You and Angie, you talk to Meredith about me, and guess what? That's also gossip. Are we in a shooting range? Because boom. I don't get it, though. No, because I worked really hard on this friendship with Meredith. I'm like, I don't need you guys going to her and saying, do you trust her? Do you think she's your friend?
I'm steamrolled. That's called gossip too. Literally not gossip. Is this your new word, steamroll? Uh-uh. Steamroll? That's your word? You're a steamroller. Stop saying it. Stop saying it. Straightener, steamroller, come straightener, steamroller. It's a great word. I'm surprised it's not from Greek.
And Lisa's like, you feel steamrolled when I come to you with Fox? Is that what you feel steamrolled by? Listen. Lisa, Lisa, I don't hear anything from you since I left your event because I voiced my opinion about and didn't match how you felt about Whitney. And now I don't hear from you anymore. I am.
I'm greedy. We went to lunch. We went to lunch. And I told you I don't care if you back Whitney. And I know you're backing Whitney. And what got me upset is you meddling with my friendship with Meredith. And I'm not meddling in your friendship with Watney. And I don't care that you started with Watney. That's your opinion. I don't care that you're friends with her. But you're saying I do. I'm like, I love Lisa saying she's not steamrolling as she goes on for like five paragraphs. But they won't stop either because Whitney just keeps saying steamrolling over and over. And Andy's like...
Whitney is stuck. Okay, Lisa, I will take over. Why are you ignoring me? By the way, Whitney has no problem with pulling an Angie for her fight too, by the way.
Right, of course, yeah. So then Lisa's like, you know what? I say exactly what I mean. No, I care that you went with her and I said you in confidence and you know what? I said you just changed our relationship. That's what I said. It's the same thing I told the Wendy's when they changed their french fries to crispy instead of soft. I said I might not be back here but I probably will. I'll see you tomorrow. And I was back in five minutes. I went around the circle and I was back. But the point is, I might be back and I might be not. You're thin rolling me. That's called gossip.
And she's like, you don't like that I'm just going to do whatever. I'm not going to just do whatever you want me to do. I don't give a fuck what you're doing. She goes, yes, you do. Don't do that to me, you fucking bitch. Don't do that. I'm fucking mad right now. And then she's like, I didn't turn my fucking back on you. And I'm fucking pissed at you. And she starts, she's like, Mary, am I a loyal fucking friend? And Mary's like, yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like she never said anything. And Lisa's like, wait a minute. She came to you verbatimly.
And then Anthony stands and Anthony's like, it is time I make an iconic scene now. I will stand and kick a chair, kick. And they're like, oh. She does like a musical theater finger point where it's like, you know, when you're really angry at someone, you sort of like point down at them like this. But in your musical theater, you point up like, and another thing. So she's like, and another thing. I am Greek. So she stands up and then she's like, wait,
I need to make this more iconic. So she sort of like does this like kick with her back foot. And the chair just goes, falls over. And everyone's like, you're knocked over your chair, Angie. Was that supposed to be raising the stakes of some sort? So she's like, you call me. You kept me on the phone every day. And I was in the middle of the night for you. And you can't, I just, you know what, whatever. And so Lisa's screaming at her back. And she's like, you called, um,
I told you exactly how you made me feel. And, you know, I... What is this? This release is like, you know what? Guess what you did? You would call me every fucking day. And I told you exactly how you made me feel and what you did to me. And you couldn't deny it. And I was like, you know what? I need a break from you. And you needed a break from me. And I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. And Angie's like, I am a good friend. I have been loyal. I have been there for Lisa 24-7. And it's never enough. I brought her spanakopita. I brought her baklava.
I brought her moussaka. What more could she possibly want? Wait a minute. Let me try grape leaves. Lisa, would you like a grape leaf? You're not a good friend. That didn't work. She kicks another chair. She just throws a pitcher on the ground. So Lisa's like, okay, you know what? You can go hang out with everybody but me.
And she goes, wait a minute. Where were you this morning? It's just, oh, why don't you just go call Electra? It's not what you do. Hold on. I have to go because it's Electra. I have to talk on the other phone because it's Electra. I'm sorry, Lisa. I can't listen to you anymore because it's Electra. Which is so funny that Lisa is one of those friends that just calls and talks your fucking head off all day, never lets you say a thing. And then you finally have to be like, my child is on fire. I have to go. I know. Get away.
So the music, the whole show grounds to a halt because it's like, she brought up a child in the middle of an argument. How is this going to go? We all know children are off limits. So it's Brittany who's like, oh my God, I'm so excited.
My first season that I get to say this, let's not bring the kids into this. And Lisa's like, I'm not bringing the kids into it. That's her excuse to get off from me. And Angie's like, if I hang up, it's because I'm a responsible mother that pays attention to my child. And it takes at least five minutes for me to roll off of my mattress. So I need some lead time. Okay. Give me some water. Thank you very much. So furious because someone said her daughter. So she's like, I need water.
Someone said, daughter, I did not rhyme on purpose, but it works. Keep it in. Anthony, you're not the editor of this show. Still, roll it back.
So then she spends dinner, lunch, everything with Lisa. She listens to her all the time. And this is what she gets in turn, bringing up her daughter. And she says, for me, not having a mom, being a present mother is the number one goal. So for her to make that dig at me where it hurts the most, it is an all new low for her. She might as well have called my husband.
Well, I guess that was last season. It turned out okay. But still, this is terrible. Oh, God, she didn't say anything about the kid. Yes. You just have to go talk to the kid. Okay.
Mary's like, well, this is very emotional and you guys do love each other. I don't know. I'll just throw that out there. So Brittany's like, everybody just looks at Mary like, who are you? Yeah. What happened to you? So Brittany's like, okay, everyone, I have an announcement. So she's clinking her glass, but it's full. So it's just like click, click, click. It sort of bothered me. We know what it's about. We all fucking know that this is about a dick. And here we go. She goes, I have an announcement.
Jared and I, we are officially broken up. I had an epiphany. And Heather's like, epiphany? I've heard about this epiphany before. And then we see an extended montage of Brittany being like, guys, I had this epiphany. I just woke up and I had this epiphany about Jared. You know what? I had an epiphany. I had an epiphany. Starbucks worker, yeah, my name is I had an epiphany. Thank you so much.
He's been blowing up my phone since last night, but I listened to you all. And I have to say, you guys, last night was so impactful for me. It was so impactful.
Yeah. She goes, I literally thought you were going to go up to your bedroom and call Jared. And Mary's like, I didn't think she heard anything we said. That's why I went to bed. And Mary's basically like, yeah, you know, every five minutes can be, they're going to be back together. Just watch. It'll be, I want my five minutes back. So Brittany's like, I just, you know, if we're, if we're ever going to work out, it's not going to be now. So Bronwyn's like, well,
You know, what are the things that you like about him? Like you said, you guys are best friends. I still don't know that I totally understand what's so special about him that makes him your best friend.
And Heather's like, he's an Osmond, okay? He's royalty. And she goes, oh, is it because he's an Osmond? And she's like, no, I mean, no, I'm not a fame, I mean, come on. And Heather's like, oh, yeah, that man walks into a room, he leads with Osmond. He signs the deals with Osmond. He has a little pet that looks just like him, but it's a girl, and they start singing duets as an Osmond, okay? People want to know he lives on Osmond Lane. And Lisa's like, wait, does he live on Osmond Lane? Yeah.
let's all get back together with them for sure they have the best they have the best box seats at the temple and we find out that osman lane is an actual lane in provo and um like in the 90s lisa says if you lived on osman lane you had cash but she didn't know if donnie and marie actually ever lived on osman lane but it was like it was it's like the shit so heather's like are you in love with him and she's like
Yes, I am in love with him. And Bronwyn's like, well, are you in love with him or are you in love with Osmund? And she goes, um, I think you should worry about your own marriage, Bronwyn. She's like, oh, okay. Mellie's like, yeah, yeah.
Wow. And then Bronwyn's like, um, yeah, I don't have a ton to worry about in my marriage, but thank you. So, I mean, look, I get that she's like, shut the fuck up, Bronwyn. This isn't to do with you. But everybody else said it first, you know? Yeah, I think that Brittany is wrong here because Brittany has been, you know...
using everyone's time to be sounding boards for her relationship. She's one of those people that's like, guys, what should I do? I just need my girlfriends right now. What should I do? And then the moment someone's like, well, do you really have feelings for this guy? Or is it like you're just excited by the prospect? She's like, shut the fuck up. What about your round? It's like, no, no, no. You don't get to do that. You don't get to like...
You don't get to take up all of our time, all of our screen time, ask us all of our opinions. And the moment we like you get a little bit of tough love or a difficult question, you snap back. It doesn't work that way because you wasted all of our time with your stupid questions about this guy. So, you know.
yeah but no one wants to say yes i'm dating him because he's fucking famous and utah oh i totally understand why she did it on tv because you know that guy's gonna see that and he's already saying hi friendy in every text that he sends her to make it very clear that they're only friends yeah so she's like you're fucking up my bag bitch yeah i totally understand why she did it i just hope she realizes that she's totally in the wrong so um
Bronwyn's like, well, I don't really have a ton to worry about. And she's like, oh, how is it that you and what's your husband's name again? Old fogey. She goes, um, girl, you did not just tell me to worry about my marriage. You don't even know my husband's name.
And Brittany is like, well, every relationship is messy and you have such strong opinions about your non-Osmond man. So just tell me, why did you choose your husband? What singing group and family is he part of? Well, actually, I will have you know, I met him at a bar or at lunch or something. And his name is Todd.
And the reason I'm with him is because he is hysterically funny. That's why. Not because of his money. Not because he started the Palm Pilot. It's because he pulled a nickel out from under my ear and pretended it was magic. And I really didn't know where that nickel came from. And then I said, what is that? Is that a song? And he said, I'm actually farting out the Pledge of Allegiance. And I just thought, wow, what a guy.
And then he offered me a sassafras. So Brittany is like, so were you interested in him because of his money? Because she's trying to get Brittany back to be like, you're just as shallow as I am. And Bronwyn's like, oh, well, I had Google finance his ass before I met him randomly one day at a bar for lunch. So yes, I was only interested in the money, Brittany. And yeah, well, I mean, at least that's an honest answer. It's like, doesn't hurt. You know what I mean?
So then she's like, well, you asked me about the Osmond thing. She goes, yeah, and it's a fair question. And so it's a fair question we get all the time. And so then she keeps on. She's like, and what's your age gap? 26 years. Are you attracted to him? She goes, am I physically attracted to my husband? Because he has money or because we have an age difference. It feels like a real low blow, Brittany. Yeah.
Have you ever known someone to get a boner over a Puddin' Pop? No. Now imagine that melted and just being regular Puddin'. Would you be boned?
me neither i hope that answers your questions she's basically saying like and then she tells us like oh yeah gold digger evil stepmother it's like so boring for me when someone asks this so britney wanted to say that i'm on yes i'm on my third nose and that is a vein yes bitch it is and i am on my third nose that would be a read but that's like i don't be like bravo but like this bitch truly came to play today
So then she was like, well, actually, I was working in finance when I met Todd. And if we got divorced tomorrow, I would not have access to most of the stuff he has because we're genuinely in a real relationship that does include physical attraction. And it eludes a mental attraction. I don't know what that means. And it includes a best friendship. And I wouldn't take Todd to the cleaners. And that's why we don't have a prenup. Mary's like, you don't go to the cleaners? Mary's like,
like you don't clean your clothes no it's an expression Mary so when he's like I see what Brittany is doing she's doing the classic stereotype Bronwyn is a gold digger like wow Whitney I'm so glad you were able to figure that out is it when is it when Brittany said are you a gold digger is that what is that what tipped you off
She's intimidating that she's a digger of gold and I don't like it. I dig for gold. I love when Whitney goes, that happened to me. I've been accused of being a gold digger because Justin's 18 years older than me. I'm like, I don't think anyone really looks at Justin and says, wow.
Look at all the gold diggers he's attracting. Look at all those women trying to climb up a direct sales middle management ladder there. He was heading the MLM. He was one of the leaders of the MLM. I mean, he was vague, for sure. Wow. Justin, yeah. So she's like, you love who you love. And that's why I stand up for you.
Straight white rights. We're going to Trixie Mattel later, everybody.
So Bronwyn's like, um, did anyone else have a question about my husband's dick or how I enjoy it? And Heather's like, no prenup. I mean, you have no prenup. She goes, no, we do not have a prenup. But that just seems like he's such a savvy businessman. He would not marry someone without a prenup, you know? And Bronwyn's like, yeah, well, Todd is such a savvy businessman that do you think my snarky, lame ass hoodwinked him? Todd is successful and he has all these assets to protect and he didn't see that I was coming in as a gold digger. There's something genuine. And that's actually a good point.
But, you know, she's probably had to deal with this a lot. So she's like ready with all her talking points. What's a good point? She's like, well, if Todd is such a smart businessman, like, how do you think I like, like hoodwinked him as a gold digger? Right. And it's just such a tired fight to even be having with people, but I'm glad they're getting it out of the way. You know? Yeah. Like, Oh God, gross. What a gross fight.
So then she's like, it's genuine. And Meredith is like, well, I mean, this is all very personal information. I mean, Seth and I chose to get a post-nup when things were a little dicey. I mean, we didn't know. Perhaps he gave it all to his first wife. Who knows? I'll tell you this. I'm not going to ask. But if it comes into my DMs, it's not my fault.
Tonight has been wild and all over the place, but we still have some things to figure out. Who wants to go to a drag show? If you want to go, you have to change in the Harley Davidson bathroom. This is so Salt Lake City. We're going, and the costume change has to be in the bathroom, and then you have to be on a bus and fly.
So they changed from their Harley Davidson drag to their drag drag. And now Bronwyn is wearing a hot dog costume. You came dressed like Leon Locken? I was cracking up.
But actually, you know, it was so funny because she's like, it's actually couture. There's Moschino. And then when they see the like, I was like, OK, whatever. But then as you look at it, you realize she's wearing basically like a cape and
and she's wearing a dress and it has a squiggle and she has a little hat and i was like this is oddly kind of amazing to me because we turn it into a costume because we see all the parts but if you really look at it they are actually just garments that together look like a hot dog and i was like i kind of think that's amazing i would never wear it with a rose
Wow. If you really look at that outfit, it's actually a dress and a cape, but they make it look like a hot dog. You got it. Nailed it. No, but I'm meaning that like a hot dog costume is actually something that's sewn in, like it's a bun. It's a bun and a hot dog. Like it's Leigh-Anne Locke poking her head through a hot dog sausage. And this one, it looks like that. And then as you look closer, you're like, no, it's just a dress, but it looks like a hot dog.
She's even wearing the little mustard squirt top hat.
the thing which is disturbing because that means that someone was putting mustard on that hot dog and the top fell off and they just put it on the hot dog yeah it's kind of mixing you know i think that's kind of where they lost it and they it should be a little pickle a little like a little like a little piece of relish right or like something that makes it like looks like a hot dog but maybe like curved like there was a bite taken out of the top or something i don't know
so yeah she's dressed like a damn hot dog and so they go to the drag show and she and mary goes you know the heart coat that's fashion but the hot dog is cost that's costume that's it is it does is that too mean will you fire me i know mary you can say that so they get to the drag show and um there's like a trixie mattel impersonator i
that leads them in. And then Whitney gives us this fascinating backstory, which I'm not sure I totally believe. She goes, my love and fascination for drag started when I was a little girl. I think I was about eight years old. I was in Palm Springs with my dad and a drag queen walked down the street. And you know, being like sheltered, a little sheltered Utah Mormon girl, I was like,
That's shocking to me. And my fascination with drag really began. And then I started seeking it out.
Because drag brings communities together. I'm like, I just was laughing at the idea of like Whitney, eight-year-old Whitney seeing a drag queen on the street and be like, wow, my life has changed. And then just going home and being like, I need more. I need more. And they're like, Whitney, Whitney saw one drag queen. Then she started to seek it out. When she said, when she used the words like, and then I started to seek it out. It was a drug. You couldn't stop.
And that's why I married Justin. So, yeah, that was...
an insight into her childhood. So weird. Heather's like, you know, we're just girls. Girls on a tramp. Sometimes we fight. Sometimes we get along. But at the end, we're all in L and we're all in S. Laverne and Shirley. Some of us have receipts. Some of us have proof. Some of us... Oh, for fuck's sake. Just close the circle already. ...
The end. The end. Well, what honestly a hilarious trip.
That's called gossip. Thanks everyone for listening to this recap. This was so fun. We still have Orange County tomorrow. Who knows what's going to be coming down the pipe with that one. And if you can't get enough of Mormonism on TV, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, we're recapping it. We've got a fresh new recap coming up on Monday or I think it's Monday, early next week, whenever it is we decide to release it. Thanks everyone for being here and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye.
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