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Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap In, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello Ben. I'm great. Thank you so much for having me today. Oh, well, well, it's a pleasure to have you. We are here today to talk about Real Housewives of New York and
We're going to find out the deep secret, the betrayal that Aaron felt from Abe. We're going to find out about Scientology. We're going to find out all sorts of other interesting things, like what's it like watching New York City children climb cliffs. So that's that. Come join us on Patreon.
which is always full of so many fun things, including our weekly bonus episode. This week we did Below Deck Sailing Yacht, the premiere. Our schedule is a little heavy, so we're sort of putting things in different places. So we're going to start that season off on the bonus episode area, and we'll see what happens with it.
And then also you get Crap is on Demand where you can watch us, not just listen. And that's really for everything we do these days. So if you want to watch, like you could have watched Ronnie walk off camera right now. He just stormed off. He was so mad. Actually, I think he's just picking up something. I'm furious. He's furious. I'm never gonna.
It's over. So that's all at patreon.com slash watch where crap ends. Also a fun reminder. We have back catalog. We have a big back catalog and it's expansive.
If you are interested in having that back catalog organized by show, we've already started doing it for you. So if you want to see, you know, if you wanted to listen to our recaps of the early seasons of Roni, for instance, like maybe season four, season seven, whatever it is, go to watch crappens.com. And we have certain shows that are organized by season recaps by season. So go check that out.
Okay. Nailed it. Nailed it. Okay. So let's dive in. Great. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Great job. Thank you.
Let's get into it. Real Housewives of New York City. We open with a super fun scene. Just kidding. It's not fun at all. It's terrible and really sad. Aaron is going to a place called Bits and Pieces, which is a funny name for a place because of the plot of today's episode. It's like they're keeping with a theme. Yeah. Bitcoin. Something with bit or coin in the title. Just get me there. So Aaron can just be completely victimized the entire time. Let's not forget. Yeah. Yeah.
So, Aaron walks in and is like, hello, welcome to Bits and Pieces. And she's like, hi, thanks. My mom's going to be here soon. You know, with that typical sunny Aaron Leach-y vibe. Like you said, my mom is going to be here soon. My mom's going to be here soon. My mom's going to be here soon. So, Aaron's mom, Dorothy, walks in. I wish she did have a mime. It would make her more interesting. Oh, her mime.
I feel really sad. You have betrayed me. I guess I'm not really miming. I'm just fake sign language. Which is offensive, I think. Sorry. However you say sorry in sign. Look at that mime. That mime is in a glass box. And now it's laughing. And now it's pointing at me. Is it miming cackling hags? She kind of has a personality of like a ventriloquist mouth.
that doesn't move you know not a ventriloquist because i think they're peppy in general but she's just like you know how ventriloquist talk but they don't really move anything at their bottom level a little bit i feel like that's her personality okay you know what i don't i'm bonkers today so let's just keep going
Just pretend none of that happened. Okay, welcome to Watch What Crappens, back catalog and Patreon, Ben. So, Aaron's mom, Dorothy, walks in, and as we know, Dorothy is undergoing treatment for breast cancer, and so she's starting chemo, and so she's here to start looking into wigs, and Aaron is going to get a wig
in solidarity with her mother. So, you know, they make some small talk. You know, this is the first day that Dorothy's feeling a little strange from the chemo, et cetera. And then Uba comes in and joins. She basically, she just got a haircut to look just like her mom's hair. And she's like, I just went in there and I said, give me my mom's cut. And then her mom comes in and sees Aaron and just starts crying. Like, honey, I just told him I wanted anything but Aaron's cut. Also, it was like,
Aaron was like, look at how much different my hair is. I'm like, it looks relatively the same to me, but that's fine. Yeah, she's one of those. She's getting like an itch taken off. And in the salon, she's like, oh my God, stop. It's too much. I'm like a whole different person now. I hope Abe the Babe recognizes me. Let's see if Abe betrays mom hair, Aaron.
Maybe he won't realize I'm the same person and divulge all his secrets to me because he thinks I'm a stranger now. Aha. Maybe he'll be more afraid of me now that I'm like my mother. Dun, dun, dun. By the way, I will be paying for this haircut in Bitcoin. You know...
uh i one thing i have to promise myself is no matter how much i want to support my mother and everything that i won't just show up in ronda hair like nobody needs me like some red puffy wig you know like i'm taking this social boys with me i'm taking it to social so um uh uba you know uba lost her mother so she uh
Like, she really feels for Eren and wants to be there for her. And so, Uba walks in. She's like, hello, Uba! And Eren's like, you didn't notice anything? I chopped my hair off. Does it look horrible? I'm like...
You took off like three inches and you're talking to a lady who's going to be losing all of her hair. And you're like, oh my God, can't you see? Look how different I look. I lost three inches. God, one thing I realized getting my mom's hair is hair really, hair, like lack of hair really can make a person uglier. Just saying. Damn. The length of hair really does matter to her. Really does.
No, so she didn't. So obviously. So then it was like, oh my God, I love it. You went from basic to basic. Amazing. What a journey. You went from basic to basic. It's a shorter scene. Say it again, Ben, please. She went from basic to basic. Just a little bit shorter of the same version. Yeah. I shortened the basic. I shortened the basic three inches for you. Okay.
She goes, you look stunning. It shows your face even more. Oh my God. I saw your face a little bit more. So then there's some like wig styling and everything. And Dorothy's trying on some things. Dorothy goes off and Aaron is like, I like that. She's having fun, which is a phrase that's really never said in that household. I'm sure. And it was like, oh yes, my love. So how do you feel about last night? And she's like, ah, wait, hold on. Let me sigh. Huh?
That's how I feel. I woke up this... She did do that. She's like, hold on a second. That's how I feel. I woke up this morning like really, really hurt. Like you wake up like that every morning. You're like, someone ate the last Dan and coffee yogurt. I'm like waking up hurt right now. I was so hurt.
I literally have never been that hurt in my life. Okay. Cause I felt like to go to Jenna and damage my relationship with her when I need friends right now, friend knows what I'm going through. She knows my mom is sick. Like she knows I got my mom hair. She knows I got mom hair. Okay.
and then dorothy comes out in the craziest wig and everybody's like that looks great no it doesn't realize doing what the are you here for if you're not here to help your mother dorothy find some gays okay we'll help you get a good wig yeah she definitely had like tamra once had some crazy bouffant hair at one of the reunions and that's what dorothy came out with and luckily she winds up with a better wig later on so
sarah and yeah she she ended up working out it ended up working out for her i was glad because i was going to go help her because she's a beautiful lady you don't want to ruin a beautiful lady with a terrible wig you know dorothy deserves better so her name dorothy dorothy yeah are you saying dorothy i'm thinking dorothy is it is it dorothy
They're totally different. Same numerology, but different intentions. So, Aaron, yeah, so they're talking about how hurt Aaron is, because, you know, it's Aaron. I've never been so damaged in my entire life. This was so horrible.
She, like, affected our friendship. So, Erin tells us, Yeah.
like that so I don't want to spill personal things but like this wasn't personal information that was confided in just me this was confided in five people off camera so all I'm doing is bringing it on camera I'm totally innocent here yeah like I would totally not betray her but she told five people so I'm gonna betray her because it could have been any of those people
So I think that was the back of Brynn's mind when I said I had to pay for the Uber and it was like, oh, let's fucking get her. I'm like, well, maybe you shouldn't be talking about how you paid for Jenna's Uber in the first place. That's the implication. You're implying something with that story. Not necessarily that Jenna is poor, but you're trying to elevate yourself by bragging that you paid for Jenna's Uber. Yeah.
I have to disagree with you here. I think if somebody spends $250 of my dollars and then doesn't pay it back, fuck them, and I'm going to tell everybody what a cheap fuck they are. And I feel like I am in the right to do that. Now...
I think her problem is, is that she just didn't say, oh, yeah, you didn't pay for that Uber. And I was telling them, oh, my God, what is she poor or something like make a joke of it and just be like, yeah, I wasn't calling you poor. I was just saying you didn't pay for the Uber. And it's weird because you're rich. I mean, if it bothers you enough to bring it up to all of your friends and that's cool. But don't do this whole like I am brand repeating. Oh, and that's not really what I said. The whole thing here is like with side later. They're saying, well, I didn't say that technical word.
who cares? The intent was the same. Were you saying the whole intent changed? And don't tell me it's all about like, you know, the stupid, stop being pedantic. All right. Yeah. I mean, I guess like for sure, if a friend runs up, that's not being pedantic, right? Stop using semantics. I think that like, if a friend runs up like a $250 Uber, you know, thing, then like, for sure, that's not right. But like, I think that like, I'm just thinking right now, like if,
Ronnie, if you ran up a $250 Uber thing and you had not paid me back, I really don't think I would go to like a group of friends and be like, and you know what else about Ronnie? I paid for his Uber. I just still don't think I would even do that. I'd be like, maybe, but if you were talking to one of our close friends in private, like having dinner and being like,
oh my god we went out and then ronnie didn't even pay me for that 250 uber what the hell well i would imagine tell me like ronnie why don't you pay me that 250 i mean i don't know but i feel so here's the thing only really say that if you're building a case against someone let's be honest if you're gonna like if you're gonna mention things like that you are compiling a shady list of things and you know another thing that this person did i paid it's usually something like this
I paid for a $250 Uber and they won't even text me back. That's like a, you offer this up when someone's ignoring you sort of thing, you know?
But as far as building a case, it's Erin. She's always building a case because everybody around her is guilty of hurting her worse than the person that hurt her before. She's always the most hurt by whoever's in front of her. And she's got to have files. You know what I mean? Like if we were in high school, Erin would have one of those like little dollies with debater plastic crates in them filled with evidence just going around the hall in her little suit. I know she would. And she'd be like, Ronnie, do you remember that time when you didn't pay me back that $2,000?
$2.50 for that tuna sandwich. Yeah. I guess the thing is with Erin is it's not crazy that she wound up telling this to someone because she probably was upset at Jenna because she's building a case. It's crazy that she would be surprised that Jenna would be like, oh, fuck you for going around telling people that. You know, like...
If you're going to start talking, that is the risk you take on once you start talking shit about someone is that it might get back to them and then you have to deal with it. Exactly, yeah. Right, that's what I'm saying. So Aaron should just take the responsibility and say, yeah, I said I was being shady, but I wasn't calling you poor literally. But now that she's saying it, she was calling her poor because they all knew that Jenna was having money problems.
So by insinuating, yeah, she didn't pay for my Uber, Erin's just making herself look worse. Like she is the worst self-lawyer of all time. I hope she never defends herself because she's making herself look worse. She's like, why would I say that? Except all the evidence was pointing to she is broke when I pointed to her not being able to
pay for that $250. So actually, now that we talked this out, Aaron, you are guilty. You are guilty in your own court of law. But you were right, Ronnie, like the way she should handle it is like, honestly, like I was being shady because I paid for an expensive ass Uber and you haven't paid me back. And so the way that I recover my debt is by talking shit about you. And the truth is, I know you're not poor. The only one who's poor is me. I'm $250 poor. But she is poor.
but she but she says she is poor but now she's saying she is poor she's like yeah but Jenna said the money drives run drives so she's saying well I didn't call her poor but now I'm on public T public television she's on that she's on uh she's like if you want to donate 15 for the CD of me saying Jenna's probably really poor right now donate it you have 10 minutes to call in
Rosie O'Donnell is working the phone. We return to the Masterpiece Theater production of Shakespeare's seminal comedy, Cackle-eth, Hag-eth. That's one of my favorite quotes of all time. Cackle-eth-ling, Hag-eth. Much ado about cacklings. Kiss me, cackle-eth.
Kiss me cackle. Wow, we really mobbed that. It's the musical version of Taming of the Cackle. Oh. Taming of the Cackle. McCackle. McCackle. McCackle.
I was... What I was going to say is I imagine the context of the conversation was, yeah, like, Jenna actually never paid me back. So, like, maybe when she was talking about the money running dry, maybe it's, like, more serious than we thought, huh? Which is still not right, but...
Right, right. Exactly. She's just lending credence to the idea that she was, in fact, talking about her being poor. So then now she's making it like, well, Brynn knows that she knew that information about Jenna. So maybe when I was saying that she didn't pay for the Uber, then Brynn put it together and said, oh, I'm going to get her now. I'm going to get her. Well, no, I think she was like, oh, my God, you guys, you want to know what a backstabbing asshole Aaron is? Let me tell you.
I think that's more where she was coming from. You literally handed her the evidence. Exactly. I don't think Brynn sits there and goes, oh my god, I'm gonna get her. But I think Brynn is like, oh, I think Brynn has a good shade dar. I think she picks up on shade really quickly and she probably went running to Jenna and was like, oh my god, Aaron was being shady to you. And then of course when Brynn retells it, Brynn is also an embellisher. So she makes it sound much worse. So it's just a shitstorm that probably could have been avoided if Aaron just
kept her mouth quiet in the first place. Or if Jenna paid her Uber. You know, I mean, ultimately this goes back to Jenna paying her goddamn Uber. And apparently she was on Watch What Happens recently and said, no, I never paid for it. I still haven't paid for it. Which...
wow i mean really i have to say just as a side note jenna has really come through this season i'm i'm extremely surprised how and i liked her last season i've liked her this whole time but i think she's really coming through this time because then she shows up in a bentley it's like one episode they're like she's poor she's like oh really okay i'll spend a quarter of a million dollars on a car you know bye and i just think that is so beautiful i mean it was just so well done and so well played
i mean it's a great thing to watch i mean you talk about a blossom or just you might as well have like a little uh french what is that little hat she used to wear a little beret
Yeah. A little beret. Cause you're basically blossom babe. Oh, the blossom hat. That's like the flipped up, like, you know, it was like a flipped up bucket hat or something. Oh, the bucket hat. Yeah. Yeah. I have to say, I love the way Jenna flexes around these women. For instance, them flying in a helicopter to the Hamptons. And she's like, no, I'm will. I actually, just when you thought you understood me because I last season, I was all about flying business. Guess what? No, I,
I've decided I'm going to reject your helicopter and drive this, my own personal $250,000 Bentley down through traffic just because I can. I guess probably a better way to say it is that I just really want my car to drive me there because that's basically what it's going to do. So I guess. I'll see you, but have fun on your SpawnCon helicopter. Yeah, have fun on the helicopter you don't own while I drive my Bentley that I do own. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Have fun flying in a brand. Okay. I'll be in a Bentley. You're going to be in a Blaze. I'll be in a Bentley. Oh, not a Blaze. I was going to say, why would you name a helicopter company Blaze? Don't they crash a lot? But it's not. It's Blade. Blade. Blade. It's like a name of a kid in Orange County. Blade. Yeah, 100% it does. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.
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So, um, Aaron's like, the frustrating thing is that it's like almost reliving the cheese story. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Aaron, why are you making flashback for sounds? I thought it would be more evocative.
And then we see the story again. I love that they keep playing this story over and over again on this show. Like, it was the most fascinating story ever. It's hilarious. It's like our weakest part of last season. This is me interpreting Erin telling me the story, okay? She's like, that's cheese. And then supposedly, Cy goes, that's weird. That...
That right there is what set off that entire season of not much. Let's face it. Not much. By the way, you know what we should do? Bring back the cheese. That's what the audience wants. Iconic mother. Um, Aaron, also, if you're going to talk shit, you know what?
Aaron's allowed to talk shit because we all talk shit, but just don't do it in front of Brynn because Brynn will gossip about everything that you say to someone else. She does love to stir the pot. She loves making Aaron squirm because Aaron is so squirmable. You say one thing. I mean, you see it later in this episode when she just mentions Staten Island and Aaron can't even deal with that, but we'll put a pin in that for later.
So Aaron's like, no, she makes stuff up. So Uba's like, oh my God, I did not look at it that way. And she's like, to be fair, I also did not want to go back to the cheese conversation. It's just not as good. She was like, I didn't look at it that way, darling. But now that you say it's that way, I will fight for that no matter what for the rest of the episode. I thought that Uba has no opinion. And then Aaron's like, no, but here's your opinion. And she's like, good. Now I have an opinion. She better watch out.
By the way, how is everything with Abe? You guys are doing good? She goes, yeah, we had like a thing. I don't tell anyone. I just needed him to be there for me with like everything with my mom. And then he just piled it on all this shit bit by bit. Please don't ask me what it's about. Oh my God. I have no more coins. Did you see what I'm doing there, Uba? Can you figure it out? It's a puzzle. It's a riddle.
And it was like, I'm here if she wants to share, but it's really hard to give advice when you don't know the full story, babe. And she's like, yeah, there are decisions that Abe made. Hold on, everybody. I'm going to cry.
It's not really coming, but let's just pretend there's tears, guys. But the problem was that the truth came out right in the middle of me dealing with my mom and everything we're going through. So I couldn't lean on him because he betrayed me. He betrayed me, and I was furious with him. And I just, it just, like, it's so much, it's so much. I can't talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. Please, everybody, stop asking me about the affair that he caught himself up in. Yeah.
surely there'll be a salacious story to uncover here i can't wait to find out what yeah yeah she he's been seeing people that i don't approve of she's like kind of hinting she's like i don't want to actually say what it is because i want to kind of make america think that abe is having an affair on me because that's the most interesting thing that would have happened in my life so let's just keep that going for a few more episodes so now we go to a cafe uh where psy and jenna are sitting down to have a drink
And, you know, I really feel like last week when I noticed that Psy sounds quite often like a cat meowing, ever since I sort of clocked that, I have not been able to unclock it. And when she talks, all I hear is this. You'll never be able to unhear it, I swear to God.
So Jenna's, you know, Jenna's like, okay, what's up? And she's like, well, we're starting the high school process and I was on a call yesterday because I need to know everything. Because, you know, I know you're going to college with Becca, right? So tell me what you're doing. How you doing? And who's hooking me up? Hook me up. Hook a lady up. All right. You paying for this? Is it sponsored? What's going on? Oh my God. This is,
Just please don't be a nurse. You know what I mean? - You're dying. That's it. What do you want me to tell you? You're dying. All right? I looked at the papers and you got no hope. What do you want from me? What do you want from me? What, I'm a bitch now? Sorry. - Well, you're gonna die, so you might as well die enjoying the chocolate pudding we're giving you. - So Jenna's like, well. - I don't know where the sideways is going. But I'm just gonna roll with it. - I'm just doing,
My season two Psy is a cat meowing, but speaking English. And that's my inspiration. So Jenna's like, okay, well, you know, high school is so different in New York. I mean, where does your daughter want to go? You have a daughter, right? I actually don't know anything about your children. She's like, well, you know, London definitely wants to go to LaGuardia. And, you know, she's going to audition to ballet. She goes, oh, that's good. LaGuardia is amazing. Yeah.
I didn't know they had a school there where I thought it was just a place where poorer people take flights, but it's a school? Yeah, yeah, no, it is. So, you know, she can hear, but she doesn't handle rejection as well as I do, so I don't know if she's going to do, because I'll tell you one thing, she's a shit dancer. She's not going to get very far in this process. Trust me, I reject her every day. She hasn't learned to handle it. What are you going to do? Um...
Yeah, Sy, you handle rejection really well. Here's Sy. Sy's handling rejection so well that she took last season's reaction from the audience and is now trying out a whole new personality. You're doing great. You're doing great over there.
so uh jenna's telling this story she's like you know when i oh god when i went to parsons it was just it was just so rough because they would do this critique and but i was staying in a ymca it was like i could touch both walls with my arms i mean it was small but also i have large arms really long arms it kind of hurts because i shouldn't really be talking about that that hurts you know it's just vulnerable right now and um i just need a moment if that's okay i'm
Long-armed Judith. That's what they called me. She's in bapti here. So I was like, you know, I really do enjoy you and I enjoy your conversation. I really do. And I feel like...
really great advice and I'm really like in a good space and like I don't want to go back to being like angry girl and like no one wants that that's why you know that's why I'm upset and Jenna's like which I understand sorry that was me trolling you I have no idea why you are the way you are yeah well that's what came out the other day you know you know I had no intention of losing my cool like working on myself look at me look wait here here hold on I'm gonna laugh that was fun right me laughing
And Jenna's like, well, look, I don't think anyone ever really intends to lose their cool. That's why it's called losing their cool. It's like how no one intends on losing their money. That's why it's called... How did you get here? Was it an Uber? Do you have that app? Yeah, of course I do. What, you've been banned from it or something? So Jenna's like...
I don't remember what Jenna says, but Sia is basically like, you know, I was really mad when you told me that Brynn told you, then I hate you. These feuds at the top of the season are really sometimes hard to follow because they all happened off camera in between the season. So it's like one feud is...
Brynn told Jenna that Psy hates Jenna. The other one is that Aaron didn't stick up for Brynn enough with Jeff Lewis when Jeff Lewis insinuated that Brynn is a call girl. The other one is that Brynn heard Aaron say that Jenna was maybe poor and then Brynn told Jenna that Aaron said... It's just like a... It's harder than House of the Dragon. But there are also things that they actually said
So it's like they're both arguing about things that they've admitted to saying just with different wording. So then Jenna's like, oh, you know, here's the thing. It's just she's not the only one. OK, so many people have said things that you said about me. You hate me. You don't like me. Wish I was dead. You want me to be run over by a car? You hate my teeth. You went using my eyelashes. Humor, Jenna. That's all.
Well, I mean, I'm just, you know, you know, I just that's what you're saying. So I just want you to know that that's what I'm hearing that you're saying. She's like, well, you know, I think that like what set me off last night was because we're close. You know, we're very, very close. Me and Brynn, we were so close. You know, she lost her mother and I had her over to Thanksgiving. It's like, OK, I don't think you're allowed to drop that.
your brand Xena Thanksgiving. Like you're not to throw that in somebody's face. Like your mother's dead and I was there for you. Like, no, you can't. No, you can't throw that. Maybe just stop with, I was there for you. Yeah. But you know what I said? Hey, if you're in California, come to my house for Thanksgiving. Did I mean my Brooklyn house? Yes. Bye.
It was still a friendly invitation. You know, I offered her to come across the country to my Thanksgiving. And then she goes behind my back and she can't talk shit about me. It's like, that's not what a friend does. Like, even if I did say that, like, wow, that's pretty fucked up. So I think it, like, really triggered me that night. Other things that triggered me? Lack of food. I saw people's faces. And I didn't like the lighting.
There was a lady breathing in the restaurant. Really bothered me the way she was breathing. And Jenna's like, what? I just don't. Well, first of all, I really like that Cy just admitted the problem. Like, no matter what I said, so what if I was talking shit about you? The fact that she told you is the problem. And that is the problem. So I'm glad it's gone from like, I didn't say that. I said something else. And now it's into, fuck that. A real friend would let another friend talk shit, which I totally agree with. And it's so weird to be on Cy's side, but here I am.
So then Jenna's just basically like, you know, okay, well, I think what happened is you were triggered and you didn't really process it. What you really need to do is, you know, bring vulnerability into things. You understand? Hug yourself. Say sigh as a little girl. Say sigh, cut your little. Your arms are so short. Were you born like that or are they shortened? Who shortened them for you? Do you have a number to that doctor? I have really long arms.
Do you know anybody cool named Judith? Me neither. God, it's a fun lunch. A little girl's side just walked away from me. Hi. Jenna, what the fuck are you talking about? This is why I can't stand you. I'm sitting right here. I'm sorry. I was regressing. I was regressing. What were you talking about? What the fuck does my arm length have to do with anything around here?
I don't know. But, you know, basically, you know, you're guarded and she's guarded. Guarding isn't bad. You know, open up your heart. You know, open your heart to me. Madonna said it. Great poet. And look at her. She's so happy. Have you ever seen anybody so happy? Who the fuck is Madonna? I don't even know what you're talking about, Jenna. Okay, this is what I want to know.
Okay, you know what? I mean, my feelings were hurt. You know, obviously, you know, like, you guys know I don't even have feelings. So if I say they get hurt, that means, like, it's serious, okay? And I'm just like, I fucking hate this girl. So Jenna's like, well, I think they just need to have a face-to-face conversation. And Sai's like, I mean, it's just like, I get so much shit for being mean to her, but we all have seen Brynn do the same shit. The difference is she doesn't do the shit on camera, okay? She'll write you some email. Okay.
She'll curse you the fuck out. It's like a double standard. She pops off, it's fine. I pop off, it's like the end of the world. It's like, yeah, but you're popping off about cheese.
Yeah, and you're being way meaner. There's a difference between yelling and screaming at somebody in public and then writing a passive-aggressive email. There just is. I'm sorry. It's just not all equal. That's why we use different strokes in different wars or different weapons in different wars. A ping-pong paddle isn't the same as a gunshot, but it can still cause some pain. Yeah.
But that being said, Cy, congratulations. You somehow are getting a better edit this season than Brynn. So Cy is like, yeah, we all ignored her. We ignored her messages. We ignored the emails. But we're like, oh, there goes Brynn again saying she's carbon monoxide. I'm like, wait, what? That was so funny. I had to stop it. I rewound it. I was like, what?
And it was that that she said. She calls herself carbon monoxide. And then we see this text, and Cy reads it to us. It's from Brynn. I know this name of y'all. Someone who's tried to fuck with me once called me carbon monoxide. Invisible. Only this. And sucks the very life out of you before you even have the chance to realize it. When Brynn is upset, she threatens people.
Okay, Bren, you're terrifying. Also, I love that somebody describes himself as, ask anybody, they'll tell you I sucked the life out of you. Wow. I don't think you should tell people that. Inside voice. My defining feature? I'm kind of like the gas that comes out of a muffler. So Jenna is like, I remember the carbon monoxide tax. Truthfully,
I don't think Bryn was looking for a response. However, yelling at someone over text is not my preferred mode of communication. Also, because of that carbon monoxide comment, I did decide to get a hybrid Bentley. So that way there'd be no Bryns coming out the back.
So, Jen was like, you know, I just think you guys, you just need to talk, hug, vulnerable, heart, long arms. Did I forget anything in this conversation? I'm really, really, really tired of being here. I don't even know you. I don't even know you, really. Yeah, this is very difficult to not talk to some hipsters right now. So, now we go to Uba. Uba.
in a martial arts studio. And then we see Jess and then Povitt watching their sons do karate or whatever. And then we go to Uba in the gym with her. Oh, I'm sorry. That wasn't Uba. That was the wrong scene. We were in another gym with Uba. This is a cast that works out a lot. Even the children work out on this show. Okay. I don't approve.
Yeah, it's just like a little micro-Uber scene where she's like, "Ooh, I'm on your back! I'm on the back! This is going to make me better in bed!" He's like, "Yeah."
so then we even tells the trainer of course because she's uber she's like did you know i have a boyfriend yes uba we know oh my god is there anything else on your resume at this point i've never heard anybody so excited to have a boyfriend i'm not dissing it like congratulations i'm happy for you but it's like would you like paper or plastic ma'am i have a boyfriend what do you think i know especially because i just bag your groceries and she was so secretive about it yesterday and now she's like i have a boyfriend
So now we go to Raquel, our new cast member, and she's in her apartment.
And she's like, oh, babe, what is it you want to like? What is it you have to do for school for this recipe? And basically her daughter has to make a family recipe more eco-friendly, which is like, I don't know what New York City schools are like. But if you had to tell me, like, I need to make our family recipe more eco-friendly for school. I'm just be like, you are in Manhattan right now. Yeah.
That's what that tells me. And hey, I support it. I love the idea of a more eco-friendly family recipe, but it's just so funny. Oh, get the fuck out of here. What does that even mean? You're going to use less fossil fuels? Yes, I think. And the mantles are gasoline pies. We're going to use a different ingredient, maybe apples instead.
The fuck out of here with your eco-friendly food. I cannot with that. But it's also hilarious that that's actually, that's very 2024. We've got to have a, we're going to take macaroni and cheese, but we're going to make it better for the planet. Okay. Look outside. Look at what you're doing to the city. Okay. All of you collectively.
There's nothing about Manhattan that says eco-friendly. So Raquel... Or friendly. They're in an enormous high-rise...
That definitely was not built with solar panels. Were powered by solar panels, even though there may be some on there. But it's just very funny. So Raquel is like, well, she's like, so what recipe are you thinking about making, hon? And she goes, Connecticut pasta. Which, like, I don't even know what Connecticut pasta is. Is that like a lobster roll with, like, wagon wheels in it? I don't understand. It's just white people. Yeah.
So Raquel's like, she's like, so it's different shapes of white people. It's like different little Norman Rockwell painting shaped pasta. I don't know what the fuck it would be. The mayor of Darien, Connecticut in pasta form. So Raquel's like, do we have to make it?
We never actually ended up writing it into this book. It's basically the Cassidy Ice Storm in pasta shape. So Raquel is like, she's like, I created it. So I created Connecticut pasta. I created it out of pasta I ate at a restaurant in Connecticut. It's kale, Italian sausage, Parmesan. It's their favorite pasta. I'm like, I'm pretty sure that, I'm pretty sure you didn't invent that, Raquel, but I appreciate it. I appreciate it.
No, she didn't invent it. She ate it at a restaurant in Connecticut and then, I guess, remade it at home. She's like, oh, here's the flavors. I'm going to put them all together. And that said, they say she doesn't cook well because Mel is like, well, we only have two choices because she doesn't really cook a lot. So it's that or the peanut butter and fossil fuel sandwich. Commercials, here comes one right now.
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So she makes it. I have to say it sounds good. Yeah, well, it sounds like a classic. Sausage, I don't eat it personally, but if you put it in something, I mean, those oils will cook the shit out of anything, really. Well, that's like that classic. It's like that, you know, like broccoli rabe and sausage. It's kind of like that. It's like a play on that, essentially. Yeah. You know, I love that. I love that kind of pasta, by the way.
Yeah, it's the only broccoli that can put a TV up in less than seven minutes. So then Raquel's like, are you going to make the dogs food, babe? Mel's like, yeah, hang on, because Paolo's feeling anxious. And then we find out that Mel is a forensic neuropsychologist, and so she's having to diagnose everybody all the time, including their pets.
and because l the daughter's like um paulo's always anxious and palestine like that was like stop doting on me i'm anxious because you're doting on me mothers so yeah um raquel is basically saying like mel definitely caters to the dogs a lot i mean they have sun protection they have cologne we have someone that comes in just to give them massages paulo had to go on an acupuncturist for his childhood trauma
I was a little surprised about this. I felt like based on Mel, I thought Mel would be like, I'm going to put the dog in the back of my Harley and drive it around the block a few times until it's tuckered out. And then, you know, it'll be fine. But she's like very doting on this dog in almost like a Cameron Westcott kind of way. No, a lot of times people on Harleys are very sensitive. Okay. It's like they're punks, but they're like.
You know, they're sensitive guys. That's why they're about to commit suicide every day. I mean, motorcycles are very dangerous. You heard me sliding down the hill on my Vespa the other day and I'm still ready to get back on. There's something sad about it, you know, that we all have in common.
So Raquel's like, because she's like, oh my God, do you need more acupuncture, babe? I'm so sorry about your trauma. Let's talk. And the dog's just staring out. And Raquel says, look at him. He's just looking at me like, save me, please. Let's love me, be a dog. And Elle says, the only time he's happy when he's about to eat. There, boom. That's a neuropsychologist right there. You know, cut straight to the quick. That's how a dog works. It doesn't give a fuck about you. It does not give a fuck about its childhood. It gives a fuck about
Food. Give it some food. Here, he's healed. Boom. Having dogs and talking to them to the doctor and taking them to the doctor is actually more expensive than the kids. So now I'm just like, they gotta eat well. So now it might be like, kids, you just order what you need to eat, and then I'm actually gonna cook for the dogs. Ha ha. Ha ha. The dog's waiting for his kale and sausage pasta. Dog's like, uh, can I get pasta, please? So Raquel's like, can I...
can i have some norwalk sauce on the side so raquel her daughter is like uh mom how do we make this purina you feed us every day more eco-friendly that's called connecticut purina to you
So, Corey, there's a son, and Corey's like, I'm going to need that cookbook when I go off to college. And Mel's like, for some reason, I can't picture your mom having a cookbook. And Raquel goes, no, look at all the cookbooks we have. And they do a shot of the cookbooks. Of course, I pause. I'm like, what cookbooks does she have? They're literally all art books. This is your problem. You're cooking from a retrospective. You're trying to cook Andy Warhol. Yeah.
And food again. Marilyn Monroe won't melt. It's like, mom, why do you keep serving us Campbell's soup? All right. Now we go over to Bryn's apartment. By the way, that's the end of Raquel for the episode. Making a big splash.
I loved it I do I will say I did love the scene I was cracking up the dog the neuropsychologist or whatever taking like taking on the dogs uh to me this whole thing was very funny to me it made me really like her yeah
So now we're in Brynn's apartment and she looks like she's about to pour a glass of Evian, but then she goes, no. And she basically goes, dispense your germs, tap, and pours a glass of tap water into a glass. You're like, what's going on? And then honk, honk. It's Aaron. So Aaron arrives and she starts walking up all these stairs to get to Brynn's apartment all the way at the top.
She has to walk up five flights of stairs. This is such bullshit, but it's hilarious that Brynn made her do that. Yeah. And what's so funny is that they put like whoever it is, I don't know if it's the tenants or whoever owns the building. They put all this art in the staircase to make it like, oh, you may have to walk up all these stairs, but at least it's like fun and clever and engaging. I'm like, no, no.
It's more insulting to me that you put up all this art there. Like, let me go through my torture of climbing up this mass hysterics alone. Yeah. I've lived in a couple of buildings like that where the elevator was constantly out. One, we were only on the fourth floor, but, um,
The one on Western well, what's not the fourth floor? I think it was the fifth. It was always hell, especially with groceries I've just can't I will never even if I get rich one day I will never live in the glorious high-rise because of that the elevator can always go out your fact. Yeah, you don't do it So Aaron it's funny watching Aaron do it though because she's like oh my god as I'm walking I'm sweating profusely and I'm wondering I
God, did she break the elevator just for me? This is the most hurt I've ever been by an elevator. Yeah, I know the elevator's broke. I put water there for you. The hair is cute. Brynn's like not getting up, by the way. She's just sitting on her sofa on her phone.
Like, I'm like, you realize there's someone who just walked into your home. You may not like her. She's giving her the cold shoulder. She's like, she finally comes in and she just stares at her phone and goes, it's so weird. Like, she's like, you can get, like, I left the glass for you. It's like, if I understand why she's frosty with Aaron, they just had a fight, but then don't invite her over, meet her at a public place or something. Like it was just such a strange, strange move on her part.
So... She's so rude. She's like, um... Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I was gonna say, it was just... It really spoke of carbon monoxide. It's like, wow, that's exactly what carbon monoxide would do. So she's like, yeah, um, so, new haircut. Is that because you're going through shit? You have to cut your hair. I was like, what? Jeez. I was like, what is...
And Aaron's like, yeah, my mom has cancer. She's going through chemo. It's not just a wrinkler haircut, Brian. And so, I mean, both of them are so them. That's so low to be like going through shit. Yeah, her mom's got cancer. But it's also Aaron to be like, my mom's got cancer. Like, we're in this fight, you know? So, yeah. So then Aaron's like, well, I wanted to meet Sugar. And she goes, yeah, maybe next time.
So you hit the dog? I'm withholding the dog. She's like, I'm not going to let you have a cute scene with sugar, but you can have a cute scene with this pillow because the look of this room is balls in your face. So Aaron is like, I just want to start where we were the other night. I have been really stressed, really overwhelmed, and like very, very emotional and very raw. Look at me. Look how raw I am. I'm just like a big piece of steak at the supermarket. Raw.
Take it in. The other night, honestly, I don't even remember the things I said. So if I said things that were hurtful, okay, you're starting off badly. Yeah. I don't remember the things I said. Don't even start with the apology. Just say, why were you talking shit behind my back? Yeah. You know, you want me to help you remember? And she goes, I'm apologizing to you. No, you apologize. You say, I'm sorry. You don't say, I'm apologizing. Okay, well, now I have to change the way I say it. Cackling hugs.
Thanks. You don't remember? That's really interesting that you don't remember. Really interesting. Really, really interesting. Aaron. So she's like, oh my God. Okay. I mean, why are you being so condescending right now? I'm trying to open up to you. And she's like, I'm not. I'm listening. But you guys came so hot at me. What were you even thinking? And she's like, oh my God, this wasn't me and Cy. That was Cy who came at you hot. I was just goading her on. It wasn't really, it wasn't me.
Yeah, and Brynn is kind of like saying like yeah, but like like when she starts doing that you just sat there like yo I fight my own battle like you could have just sat there and like been like I find my own battles It's funny that Brynn is Brynn wants Aaron to say it aside. Hey stop sticking up for me I find my own battles and then she's like by the way, you didn't stick up for me with Jeff Lewis Yeah Yeah, exactly
And then Aaron's like, well, people get heated. Okay. I'm an authentic person. Okay. So sorry if I get heated. It's authentic. I can't mask myself all the time. Like, if it looks like I'm shocked that you were not raised doing coloring books in the shadow of Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow, that's authentic. That's who I am.
i would have bought a new mask to wear but unfortunately i was short 250 dollars because somebody didn't give me that because they're poor now so sorry and then i was like oh i know what i can do i can just cash out my bitcoin and get that mask
And so Brynn's like, "Well, honestly, I can say that I've never screamed at anybody in public before." And she's like, "Oh yeah, yeah, I get it. 'Cause you're like carbon monoxide, right? It just infiltrates." And then Brynn's like, "Oh God, she's bringing up the carbon monoxide thing. Don't tell people I'm like carbon monoxide."
Well, I also like I love that Aaron was like, I remember that. I was like, why are you offended by Brynn calling herself carbon monoxide? She didn't call you carbon monoxide. She's like, I remember that. You called yourself carbon monoxide. She's like, yeah. And you're a fart. Silent but deadly, but not so silent. So she's like, okay, can I just say one thing about the radio thing? I didn't say anything. Okay.
Okay, but again, you know, we see the clip, and it's slightly different this time, because Jeff definitely is like, I think so. I think someone's giving her money, you know? And then Aaron says no, and he's like, well, I think so. And she does say no, but I mean, look, she should have probably, in hindsight, been a
been like, no, she's not a whore. Stop calling her a whore. That's not cool to be calling a lady a whore just because you don't know where she gets her money. She could have been stronger against it, but Brynn's maybe a little too upset. Go be mad at Jeff. Go yell at him. Here, punch Weezer. Push Olympia Dukakis out into the road. No, you didn't do it. Magnolias reference.
don't get it so Aaron's like I should have stopped it sooner okay and I understand that and I agree eat into a Jeff eat into a Cy I don't need grown ass women yelling at me I've come very far in my life doing whatever it is that I do that's sort of nebulous to avoid shit like that
But I wasn't yelling at you. She goes, yeah, well, it's a very Staten Island of you. And she's like, um, do not call me Staten Island, okay? I was born and raised a city person. A born and raised city person. By the way, for very Staten Island people would take umbrage with that, ma'am. Also, for those who don't know. Staten Island is part of the city, okay? They deal with all your trash. I am a born and raised city person. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Jeez. Oh, it's so great. So she, the brain goes, okay, city person. She goes, will you just hear me out about the radio thing? I'm very sorry. I'm very, very, very, very sorry. She goes,
People still ask me about it. It's like fucking embarrassing. She's like, oh, I'm very, very sorry that you're so fragile. It's been eight fucking months and people are still asking me about it. Like, what am I going to do? Don't make me mad or I'll date your dad. I mean, hold on. I want to get some nudes ready for when I go to a party and I stand next to a guy that I want to flirt with. I can't believe you would have played anything like that. So she's like, from the bottom of my heart,
Watch, I have a heart. You want to see? Am I crying? Do you see it? Look at the bottom of my heart. Is there a Bitcoin there? I'm missing one. So Bryn is like... It's worth a lot now. What?
So she's like, my heart was broken. She goes, oh no, Aaron says, no, thank you. Thank you for apologizing about Jenna. Because Brynn does. And Aaron's like, thank you. Because my heart was really broken from you. And she goes, really? Your heart was broken, Aaron? Yeah.
She's like, yes, okay? Because you went to Jenna to try and break up my friendship. She's like, no offense, but I did not. She asked me, did you forgive Erin? You shouldn't have because she talked so much shit. Why would you forgive Erin? She's like, literally talked so much shit and you already forgave her. Which I don't believe that. We've never heard Jenna say anything close to that. Jenna would be like, have you forgiven Erin? Really? God, have you gotten vulnerable? Have you closed your eyes and
just become a little girl again have you hugged that little girl inside you should do it it's great when you hug that little girl do your elbows touch the walls so when you hug her just don't comment that her hands are coming back around to touch each other on the other side of you oh god i'm sorry i'm projecting i'm longer i'm judith here's the thing i don't believe that
Jenna was like, wow, I can't believe you forgave Aaron so quickly after all the shit she's been talking. But here's what Jenna probably said was, wow, well, that's great that you guys made up. I thought it would take a while because she's been talking so much, but I think it's really great that you buried the hatchet. That's what she would do. Or, wow, you forgave her again so quickly? Wow, typical, because you guys fight all the time and then you forgive each other in two seconds. Something. Or like, I'm going to go redesign Rockefeller Center. What are you doing?
So I think the thing is that with Bryn... By the way, do you want to have this conversation at Rockefeller Center? Because it's more accessible now, thanks to me. There's a special parking spot for my Bentley there. Poor people can go there now. Have you seen in front of the... I'm trying to think of a fancy store there. What's over there? I haven't been there in a while. Never mind. Go ahead, Ben. Carry on. Yeah. Yeah, so I think that's what happened. But Bryn...
The whole thing about Brynn, carbon monoxide Brynn, CO1 Brynn, is that she fudges the truth or she whips things up. So here is Aaron who is like...
Don't like you she's basically saying you have to always take what Brynn says the grain of salt Because she embellishes and now here's Brynn relaying some information and of course Aaron's gonna take it at face value Like oh my god, like it's like did you not learn your lesson about what Brynn says what she gossiped about? two seconds later So then Aaron's like okay, she was still upset but that doesn't make her okay, but her ego got bruised So, you know look
Fine. Yeah, I'll get over it basically. So Brynn's like, um, no offense. You really should not talk about anybody's money. We're talking about anybody's money ever. She's like, I didn't talk about anybody's money. I talked about everybody's lack of money. Okay. And as a born and raised city person, I, that is what I do. As a born and raised city person, $250 could get me a cup of coffee somewhere. So it really is impactful.
So, so Aaron does the all while we're just going to agree to disagree on that one, which by the way, if anyone ever says that it says I'm right. I know you're wrong, but I don't feel like trying to keep convincing you that you are wrong. So I'm just going to continue on with my rightness. That's what that phrase means. Yeah. I think they're both like, you know what? We're never going to really always like each other, but we're still the closest out of all these girls and we should try to take Janet down.
Like, let's do that. That sounds more fun, you know? I just, it's like, you know, and then she starts, Erin starts crying about her mom going through chemo, and it's like a lot for her, understandably. And Brynn's like, Erin and I are like sisters. We get under each other's nerves so much, but it kills me to see her like this and being upset. Yeah.
That being said, I'm still not going to introduce her to my dog for another two months. Ah, the good old we're just like sisters. And so then...
She asks how she is and Aaron's like, it's rocking me. And she's going through the whole, you know, she's talking about her mom and how sad she is and all this. And Brynn's just kind of looking at her and she's like, I'm sorry. That's it. But Brynn's like, we're like sisters and this shit makes us closer. So then that's it. Basically Brynn is like, by the way, you want some Evian? I gave you tap water before. And Aaron's like, oh my God, that's what was tap? That's hilarious. Which is now going to become
The next storyline for the season, she gave me top water and said, I was from Staten Island and that's all I deserved.
So then we go to Jenna, who is with her sister Maya, her friend Heather, and the son Beckett. They're walking arm in arm, looking just fashionable and gorgeous. This is assistant Maya, not sister Maya, although they are all have been adopted as godchildren, I'm sure. And they're going to go rock climbing. And so Maya and Heather are there to –
laugh and support everything that Jenna says. These two were such classic hipster... How do you describe it? They're not really sycophants, but they kind of were. Anytime Jenna got scared, they would get scared. It was just very New York hipster, and I was really amused by it.
Yeah, you know, surround yourself with friend ploys. It's the good old Camille Grammar style of life. I mean, stay happy. You know what I mean? Those people will always be nice to you. They'll be like, hey, Jenna, I'm mad at somebody. Should I go talk to my inner child? She'll be like, yes.
I just love people that know that they should talk to their inner child. I'll be like, sucker. Ding, ding, ding. Cashing their checks at the end of the week. So they come in and she goes, um, hi, I, I, I don't want to say we're here because we want to climb, but we're here because we're going to climb. So she said,
Do you get it? I don't know. You're not laughing. I don't know. It's making me feel insecure. It's like taking me back to my childhood. Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Okay, great. More hipster, please. So Jenna's like, a guy's like, oh my God, I'm going to get you your harnesses. And then I'm going to show you how to auto blaze. And she's like, Beckett is leaving the nest soon. And I never have seen him rock climb. I've actually never seen really much of him.
I didn't even know he existed, but he does. And he's actually great at it and loves it. So I'm actually very terrified, but I'm just gonna pretend like I'm just climbing a wall of khakis to get to a shoe at the top. You know, he's gonna be gone soon. So I just want to do things really, really super dangerous. So, you know, maybe you can go a little earlier because it really is hard to wait till fall, to be honest. Small apartment.
So they go through a tutorial and the guy's like, yeah, by the way, when it's time to go down, like sort of push back and jump off the wall because we don't want your body doing what we call cheese grating on the way down. And Jenna's like, cheese grate. I don't want to do this. Nobody wants a cheese grate. I don't want a cheese grate. There's...
I thought we were done with cheese. Can we just rename it for the day? Like maybe you get to the top and then you sort of khaki your way down. What about just a nice denim, a denim brush? How about that? So Beckett goes up climbing and while he's climbing, Jenna is like, oh my God,
I can't look. I can't look. And then the assistant's like, I can't look. I can't look. I can't look either, Jenna. I'll be the brave one that will look and will report back to you all. Did you look? I couldn't look, Jenna. Did you look? Well, I looked a little bit. I looked a little bit too. I looked a little bit too, just like you.
I couldn't do it. So then the supporting of hugs and so because Jenna, it's Jenna's turn. Because Beckett knows how to do it. You know, he goes up and he bounces himself down the wall and stuff. And Jenna's like, oh, God. I'm just so scared. You guys, will you support me? We're here for you, Jenna. We love you, Jenna. You can do it. You can do it, Jenna. Jenna.
Jenna climbing that wall. Remember those things that used to come in cereal boxes? You'd throw them at the wall and it'd go flopping down the wall. She was like doing that in reverse. That was her climbing. Jenna, just pretend each one of those little bumps is someone on the fashion world that you have to step on top of to get to the top. There's Michael Kors. Do it. Get on him. That rock is gingham. That rock is linen. Come on. Climb, Jenna. Climb. Okay.
um so she gets off and like oh my god you're amazing they all hug her and then um she's like okay well now that we're done you know i'm back on the ground and
Well, a friend of mine just said that her daughter goes to Northwestern. So I reached out to her because I was like, well, Beckett wants to go to Northwestern too, but I didn't realize it was Northwestern that you wanted to go. I just realized there was Western in the name. So anyway, I've paid for a nice four years at Best Western because it's better than that. You're going to have the best. I want the best for my son. You're going to be cleaning toilets. It's going to be great. I want you to experience things. I guess the point is I've funded a...
I've endowed a chair at Northwestern and I didn't realize you wanted to go to Northeastern. So maybe we should rethink your future or at least that chair. Question.
Do they allow cheese grating in Northeastern? Because I don't want to have it. I'm pleased now. I don't even want to see it on pizza anymore. Just give me a round piece of bread with some sauce on it. I only want my cheese sliced. No more grating. I'm traumatized. This is where she tells her story about moving from New York to California. No, moving from California to New York. And she's like, and then I arrived at that YMCA on 34th Street, which is...
It's disgusting. It's disgusting. You know, I couldn't touch, I could touch both of the walls with my hands. Oh God. It was just horrible. That's what I learned. It was a mistake to trust the real estate advice of a bat mitzvah song. Never go back to the YMCA. So, um, yeah, she basically is like, it's a big world and, and Beckett needs to get out there. So she's like, you know, saying, what about Cal Poly, et cetera. And she goes, I just, I have a fantasy of you going to school in California. Um,
Where there's a lot of cashew cheese. So not a lot of grating necessary. And he's like, yes, mother. I'm well aware of your fantasy. Maybe you can go someplace like Berkeley someplace like that. He's like, no, I want to go to Northeastern. I want to go to Boston. So then she is like, guess what? Got a car coming. So all this has just been preamble while she's waiting for her. Fuck you scene where she has a hybrid car.
2024 Bentley Flying Spur, $217,624 car delivered to her in front of the climbing places of all places. I just want you to bring me a car right outside. I just want it triumph. And then I want to drive.
Yes, I want to. I just want to be able to drive this car the six blocks it takes to get to my apartment. I want to make it clear in this episode that I'm not afraid of heights at all. And that's not why I'm refusing to fly in a helicopter with those losers. And I'm going to be driving a quarter of a million dollar car instead. Thanks. You know, I love my old car. It's from 1969.
But as Aaron will tell you, my vintage Mercedes is not very reliable. That's like a Jenna diss right there. As Aaron will tell you. Like that's her way of dissing someone. As Aaron will tell you, I apparently only eat macaroni and cheese. Ungrated, of course.
So then, so they get in the car. It's amazing. I mean, it's an amazing, beautiful, beautiful car. And now we cut to Aaron and Abe going to a place called Dagon or Dagon. It's dragon without the R. And there's a lot of olives around and feta cheese. It looks lovely.
So they're talking about the meeting with Bran. They're like, oh my god, our conversation was actually good, Abe. I felt like at first it took us a while because we were both butting heads. It's like, shocking! He's trying to be too affable because he knows he's in trouble still. Yeah, Abe has that look on his face like he is a kid in a school play.
He's sort of quietly reciting other people's lines until it gets to his line. His lips sort of move very little. He's like... He has this little lip movement and his eyes are studying Aaron very closely. Like, my line's coming up. My line's coming up. My line's coming up. He's very nervous. So she's like, you know, I'm really hopeful...
We're not gonna fight in the Hamptons home because I'm hosting these girls again And then we see a flashback to Aaron inviting everybody in the most exciting Voice message that we've ever seen cuz you know people get super creative on these shows like sometimes there's a mime Might bring it up mimes again or sometimes an opera singer just bring up every way that Karen Huger does it people can get super creative with it And Aaron's is really good. She's like hey guys
Want to come out east next weekend? We can figure out rooms when we get there. Shakshuka. I know. Everyone get ready for a weekend of Shakshuka. I'm terrified. I might not have running water. The kitchen's literally being installed now. If anything goes wrong, I won't have a kitchen. But at least I'll have a Bitcoin. Oh, wait.
And he's like, things already have gone wrong, honey. She's like, yeah, but that's construction. I just work so hard. I just want to have fun, which is why I got really mad at you this year with all your shit, by the way, which is the most hurtful thing that ever happened to me. I was so shook shook. Yeah.
He's like, "Oh, I didn't realize we were going to transition into my shit from talk about construction." Okay. He goes, "Well, when I hide things from you, it's obviously not coming from a malicious place, just from a sneaky and untrustworthy place. But I get why I would piss you off. Like, you get why I would piss your wife off when you hide things from her and then when you later find out financial things from her own account?"
So she's like, pissed off. Doesn't even begin to dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Yeah, it's much deeper than that, honey. So, so much deeper. God, God, you're getting it. So she's like, wow. I mean, finding out. Dun, dun, dun. Here we go. Did he cheat? Did he cheat with a dude? Did he cheat?
What's he doing? Who did he cheat with? Finding out that you had an affair, a financial affair that needed to be reconciled was terrible. Finding out you have a double life of selling bitcoins.
in one way I thought it was gonna be an affair but the other way just as she was wording it we kind of knew it wasn't fair so I was like he forgot to turn he forgot to put the seat down you know what I mean in the bathroom because it's Aaron you know it could be I thought it was something like he bought a racehorse or sold a property or bought a property I I just felt like it was something Financial you could just sort of tell she has like a different Vibe when it comes to Financial stuff
And, but this was not what I was expecting. I thought it had to do with a property, not a Bitcoin. And it was Bitcoin. Dun, dun, dun. She's like, wow, founding out, you sold our Bitcoin when we needed that for something that, you know, I wanted to use it for. And so she tells us that Bitcoin was high and she was going to use it to pay a large chunk of their mortgage. And she was so excited to log into my account to see much. It has grown. I couldn't wait to log in and say, hi, Bitcoin. I haven't seen you for a while. I have my mom's hair now. Yeah.
Did you hear what Bryn said about me, Bitcoin? So, shock. Major shock. It's gone. And he sold it when it was much, much lower than it is now. Like my hair. So, of course, I was very angry. But to be fair, I'm always very angry. I mean, you don't do that without having a discussion. That's what bothered me. So...
That camera fall. It looked like the ghost of Aaron just came in and slapped you, Ronnie. Fucking annoying, this camera. Technology, come on, bro. So, yeah. The camera and the banging and the this and the that and the this and the battery of it all. I can't. But, yeah, so she's like, you know, I can't believe you did this to me. And, by the way, rightfully so. You can't just go in there and fucking...
Take liquidate assets. Yeah, you can't do that. What the fuck? He's lucky she didn't leave his ass because that's a pretty big deal. It depends also on how much it is. Well, no, it doesn't depend on how much it is. No, that's fucked up. If you have an investment together and then you just go and sell and don't even say anything, how do you not talk about that? That's wild. Yeah.
And that happened actually years ago, which by the way, Aaron, it's a little bit on you. It's like me, remember when I was bitching about LA Fitness, how I only realized four years later they were still charging me? And I was like-- - It took me years. I didn't know until I found it in like a credit report or something. I was like, why does my credit card suck so much? It was fucking 24 Hour Fitness. - Yeah, and I still haven't even figured out what to do with my LA Fitness. I'm like, do I keep it and just have a national membership?
Or do I... I know it's not me trying to fight it. I have no evidence. I have nothing for my case. I'm not going to get any of the money back. So part of me is like, well, I might as well just use it. But either way, that's ultimately on me because I was not better. I mean, it was on them because I told them to stop. I was leaving. And I went in there. I wrote the email. I did all the steps to cancel the membership. And they still kept charging me. So that is on them. But it's also on me to look at my statement. And like...
Abe here is the one who is the most in the wrong. But considering it happened years ago, look at your account. Well, it's still not on you if somebody's stealing from you, which is basically what he did. I mean, it was only half his money, this fucker. So also, now then what kind of changed my mind was then we see she says, well, he had some other bills from our previous business that we needed to clear up.
So it was interesting that she put it. He had some bills. And then we go to scenes of her saying last season, oh, I had a handbag line all those years ago, but it wasn't, but that wasn't my business. It's just not for me. Okay. So he was picking off your debt.
yeah he was paying up that well he was paying off your debt of that business so where did you think the debt went do you look at the at the bank statements that would have been a pretty heavy amount of money he's still an for taking it i'm just curious like how would you not notice that that money is still owed or whatever how much do you owe something is shady going on here there was just an article in the new york times about a month and a half ago about this guy in the hamptons
who just got into a huge amount of debt and his wife was like, this became a very popular like Hamptons influencer or something like that or fashion influencer. And he was basically like trying to fund her lifestyle. And he was in commercial real estate and got into a hole and started, you know, leveraging this and leveraging that. And it's like one thing to pay off the other to pay off the other.
And it got really bad. Eventually he died by suicide. And so it's a wild story. And our friend Neil is quoted in it. But so when Abe was saying this, it sort of reminds me of that. Not how, you know, hopefully not a tragic end, but like how people sort of at this tier and running in these lanes in New York really do find themselves struggling.
really in up financial duress and oh yeah it's a jealous oldest time yeah this country runs on debt i mean it happens to all sorts of people not just rich people i mean it happened right my family but like there's that there's something about like the new york the the someone who lives on the upper east side upper west side socialite wife um
husband who works in finance and everything is crumbling very she runs a company called home girl oh i'm sorry i forgot about that uh but either way i was like oh this could this could meaning this could be much bigger than just like a bitcoin that was sold prematurely
Yeah, especially because he's so contrite. He's just like, you're right, honey. It was the worst thing that ever happened. God, it was way worse than that. I'm even saying, honey, it sure was. You're right about that. Gee, sorry about that. Sorry for hiding stuff, honey. And then he whips out that, but you know, I was poor when we got together and you were rich. And so I always felt like I had to like,
you know, overcompensate. And this sounds like a confession to something much bigger. Just going to say it right now. And I really like Abe the Babe. So I hope he's not fucking up or whatever. But I'm a little worried. Doesn't that sound worrisome? I'm a little worried that it's not so much about the Bitcoin being sold. It's like the, oh, we have debts here, here, here, here, and here. Oh, I now see like that.
I'm assuming that the discussion about the Bitcoin then led to a larger discussion about what is the state of our finances and what do we owe? And, oh, that went wrong there and that went wrong there. Abe the babe, I'm not happy with you.
So you better be good to me right now. And if you talk about... Or maybe not. Because I have a feeling from just how she's talking that it was a discussion of, oh, I went to the Bitcoin and it was gone. And he said, well, it's to pay off your business. And she was like, you betrayed me by not telling me. And that's it. Because...
He seems to still have like a, uh, uh, sure, sure. It's all over now, honey. You, you know, everything. I don't know. There's something, I just feel like there's more that she doesn't know. And she, because she even kind of is letting him off the hook when, after he says all that stuff, he's like, you know, I mean, we've been together. It's such a deal, a lot of pressure to provide the standard of living you wanted, blah, blah, blah. And then he says, we've been together 13 years, but it's,
this past few months we're so much closer and she goes, "Yeah, because we're adults now." He goes, "Yeah, we keep working on it." She goes, "Yeah, you keep working on it because you really still need to prove yourself."
and then we'll be okay but i'm like oh she's already i think this bitcoin thing she thinks is it and he's just working past this and there's more something's going on here especially when they're like there's they have this like weird commentary about like oh yeah i remember we used to joke about how we didn't really know each other when we got married and now we're still just now we're just starting to get to know each other it's like okay you guys are 13 years in but that's
fine I mean they're still so young you know and that's another thing I've sometimes watching this cast I forget some of these people are really young Erin acts older because she's just like I'm so disappointed but she's she's a young lady really she is young she's like younger than many cast members of Vanderpump Rules which is what's so wild
So, anyway, now we go to Uba, who now walks into a place called Unsubscribed, which is she has unsubscribed her big single, she has a boyfriend. And she walks in and she's looking at earrings and things like that. She goes, I told my boyfriend if he's going to propose, I need a yellow diamond. And then he came back a few weeks later and he was like, I actually thought, it's actually more expensive than a regular diamond. And I said, oh, is it? I wasn't sure. And the boy is like,
Yeah, great. Great story. Yeah, wonderful. Yeah. They're like, wow, welcome. It's a diamond store. People spend a lot of money in here. I'm so impressed. Did I tell you I have a boyfriend? Yes, I heard. So then Cy comes in and she's like, oh, that's cute. You getting jewelry? Let me take my jacket off. I'm getting like Jenna now. All I do is button down. It's not hilarious. Me and Jenna, we're just like this now.
Oh, look at your nipple, it's out. Oh my god, look at them. She goes, yeah, why? Why not? Like, why are you? By the way. Oh, sorry, it's my nipple that is out. Yeah, but why are they like lopsided and stuff? She goes, they're not, that's just my bra. She goes, well, you have one nipple that's up and one nipple down. What's going on with that?
I think that's natural with the boobs. I mean, maybe they're just mine, but mine will look two different directions. They don't fucking care. What, do they have to look straight ahead? Are you accusing them of driving while intoxicated? Shut the fuck up. Let my nipples do what they want to do. So it's like, my nipples are in right now. You should be using your nipples more. They're in. I mean, I've done influencing on it. Have you not seen my Instagram? Like, I'm cute. I'm one of the reasons that nipples are back.
Why would someone want a nipple hard? She's like, because it's sexy. That's gross. No, it's not. It's sexy. Gross. Gross. Disgusting. A boyfriend.
what do i care let them know my headlights are on who cares so then uh they start talking about the house uh uber's house is a mess and there's water damage and that they talk about that for a little while how she's uh gonna either stay in a hotel or connecticut with oliver the boyfriend did you know oh maybe they can get some pasta
So, yeah, so Uba's saying that Oliver turned down a job. Like, he was offered a good job, but he would have to move away. And he turned it down to be near her. So, Sia's like, yeah, by the way, so was everything else okay? I mean, this is nice. You got a boyfriend and stuff, but let's talk shit about people, okay? I feel like you're not your happy-go-lucky self. Tell me about it. She goes, oh, well, it's sad. You know, it's sad to see people getting words twisted. Like, you are...
I was like, I'm not following.
- Yeah, it's a lot. - I think he keeps saying it back. - Duba had no opinion five minutes ago and now she's ready to go. She's had her meeting with Erin and she's ready to go. So Sly's like, "Yeah, it's like Brynn wants everyone else to fight, but she only wants everyone to be friends with her."
And then Uba says that Brynn was close with her, but then when Brynn exposed her boyfriend, she was shocked because Psy was the only person who knew about that. So, dun, dun, dun. And then we see a flashback to last year. Brynn shouting, Uba, I heard you got a man in Connecticut. I heard.
Yeah, I think Brynn's whole thing is she just likes making people squirm. That's like her favorite thing. She's gonna sort of out a piece of gossip. She'll be like a little more sexual than people around her are comfortable with. She loves a squirm factor. That's her kink. The squirm factor. So then Uber knew after that moment that Brynn is not loyal. And so because I've been there for her. And when she did that wall, I'm taking 10 steps back.
And she's like, and then 10 more steps back. Every time she twisted. And I think somewhere I'm in the Maldives. I'm not even in New York anymore, darling. I'm that far away. And guess who's next to me? Just kidding. It's my boyfriend who I have now. Have you heard? He has yacht. That's how I was able to walk backwards onto boat and boats took me backwards to Maldives.
So, so I was like, you know, I like how completely no one remembers shit. Like when you, you know, when you, when you need someone to be like, do you remember that night? That's weird. And he's like, oh, I don't remember. And Uber says, oh, that's why I say no all the time. That's why when people say, do you remember? I say no. Yeah. Well,
okay, well, remember, so everybody's supposed to be taking a helicopter to the Amps. He's going to go? She goes, no, I'm not taking a helicopter. I've got boyfriends in Connecticut. I'm going to drive. Why would I take a helicopter with a boyfriend? And she's like, well, why not? And she says, oh, I like to drive my car. I like to be inside my car.
maybe make some phone calls. And she's like, oh, I'll drive with you. She's like, okay, you can drive. I was like, okay. So it has nothing to do with wanting to be in your car and making some phone calls. She's like, you've been tricked. You are not my drive-by.
I think what this has to do, because no one comes on this plane. Only two other people other than Brynn go on the plane. And I think it's because it's SpawnCon. I think they're like, ew, I'm not influencing for that. That's Brynn's thing. Why would I do a Brynn influencing thing? Right. Well, they also all don't. I don't know if it's Brynn's influence. I don't know if you could have your own separate influencing thing on a TV show. I don't know if that theory even makes sense. But it's weird that all of them are like, no, I will not be giving Blade my SpawnCon today. Mm-hmm.
So now we go to Blade Departures and Brynn walks in and there's like a sign, I guess, that says like, welcome to Blade or Blade, like, here's your party. I'm assuming it said like, welcome so-and-so. And she goes, can we change the sign to say let's Blade skanks? And she's like, yeah, sure. Okay. There it is. Like, okay.
Signage of who's flying should be accurate. I don't make the rules. So then Becky Minkoff comes in. Becky. She's like, hi, squint. Hi, squint. Hello there, squint.
And then Jessel, she, I was like, where's Jessel been all episode? Why are we not seeing Jessel? So she comes in and she's arriving. It's like rainy. So she has an umbrella and she like walks up to the door and she's like, how do I even open a door if I'm holding an umbrella? How do I even do this? And she like gets there and she like can't figure it out. And the employee has to take the umbrella for her. She's like, thank you so much. I couldn't figure it out.
Is this where I put my token then? Right here? Mount, this is not the subway. And by the way, they don't use tokens anymore. Could have fooled me. I just kept throwing little round things at people's heads until the little machine got me to where I needed to go. It was disgusting. Yeah.
Povit posted a new food influencing thing the other day. He was like, hi, today, since I was called Dory, I'm going to look at my top three favorite fish bases, places in New York. Here, number one.
Well, this place, they serve chicken. I'm back eating banh mi. I love banh mi, but here, I'm in it for the fish. Get the catfish banh mi. It's great. It goes on for like five minutes. It's so funny. But you know how he puts his little head up there in the corner and just is talking off. He's like reading off of his MacBook in monotone. I love it. So Jus was like, ow, ow.
It's a doorway, Jessel. But I can't fit. So they get her in finally and she's wearing a crop top. Brent's like, are you wearing a crop top? She's like, yeah. So then Jessel
Jessel's like, oh, look, I matched the helicopter. So then they start drinking and stuff. And Jessel's like, oh, this is amazing. Pavit is literally like jizzing his pants. He's like, send me the chopper pics, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Rebecca's like, I don't need that visual. Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm going to squint that away from me. Thanks.
So Brynn is like- So Brynn's bummed because Uba and Sai aren't coming, because Uba prefers driving. And then Jessa's like, "Oh please, we all knew Sai wasn't gonna fly in this, come on." I mean, she said if it's cloudy, she's not flying. And Brynn's like, "Well, she's not a meteorologist, is she? She's not!" That literally makes no sense. She goes, "Sai doesn't want to be around me." Well, that makes more sense.
And Brynn's like, I don't care. You scream at me and I forgive you. I don't want to faint. I want to get drunk and have, like, fun. Like, I'm like a party girl. Like, not like let's sit down and, like, stab each other. And Rebecca's like, yeah, but here's the thing. You guys were, like, so close, right? And from what Sy told me, you guys were really close. So you want to talk about that a little bit? She goes, yeah. Yeah, but then she keeps screaming at me. And this is not Rikers Island, okay? This is Manhattan Island. Okay.
Brynn's really big on island shaming this week. Yeah, she really is. She's like, this is not that island, okay? So then they have to get on the helicopter, so they do. Well, I love when, I love the, before they get on the helicopter, the big thing that happens is that they FaceTime, they need to, they're waiting for Jenna. They FaceTime Jenna and,
And so Jess is like, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. So she starts FaceTiming and she starts doing her hair in the FaceTime. She goes, oh, I love videoing people. And like the two seconds that they don't pick up and you just get to stare at yourself. It's like the best time.
So Jenna's like, "Oh my God, you guys are just, you're so pretty." And Brent's like, "Are you serious? Where are you? You're in a car? Tell me you're driving the helipad, right?" She's like, "Oh, I'm on the LIE. Sorry." Becca's like, "You're not coming in the helicam near me, this?" And she's like, "Oh, was I supposed to tell you I wasn't coming on the helicopter? I was afraid I was going to use up some precious minutes on my cricket."
wireless uh i am poor these days don't forget oh i'm sorry sorry uh this is my new bentley if i told you that i wasn't gonna be on the helicopter then there would be no reason for you to facetime me while i'm in this bentley is erin watching this is she there right now no she's not here damn it damn i wasted this could you guys facetime me when erin gets there
So basically, yeah, Jenna's like ditched them. And she's like, oh, and by the way, Raquel is driving too. Brynn goes, oh, I forgot about Raquel. She's in our cast, right? Yeah.
So now they get on to the helicopter, Jessel trips as she gets on there. And they're like, they're rising up and everything. And Brynn's like, um, so Rebecca, Becky, can I ask you something? And she's like, yeah, what is it? So people like, like, what should we like? People are asking us questions about like this Scientology shit. Like, what do you want us to say? Should we compare it to like carbon monoxide or is it like a different gas we should use? Yeah.
Really, what I would prefer people to just say is no comment. That's what I'd prefer them to say. Just nothing. I don't understand. Scientology. I mean, what's the big deal? It's just like, it's fun. It's like nice. You know, it's a religion. It's not crazy. There's nothing mysterious about it. It's just Scientology. I mean, what? Shelley Miscavige? I mean, what? I love board games. I mean, what do you want from me?
Yeah, but like in the press, like once you're announced, it's like out there. She's like, no, no, no. Like you should read my text message. You know, I just got like right now, like I said, Daily Mail is like, um, we're going to run this story. And I was like, great. She's like, okay, well, sorry, it's starting. And basically this was around the time that it was announced that that Becky Minkoff would be on the show. And so there were all these articles about like, wow, a Scientologist on Roni.
Yes. And she's like, yep, Daily Mail has already called me and that's not great. Unfortunately, nobody has heard from the Daily Mail since. So I hope they're doing well.
And so they ask all the ladies what they think about Scientology. And basically, Aaron's like, well, actually, John Travolta. Oh, I can't say that on camera. Never mind. Oh, Aaron's got a John Travolta secret, does she? Abe the Babe sold the Bitcoin to John Travolta. There, I said it. He's the proud owner of one Bitcoin that's way worth a lot more than somebody sold it for. Mm-hmm.
So, yeah, Rebecca Minkoff is basically saying, like, she's not uncomfortable to talk about Scientology, but she only wants to talk when people are genuinely interested, not because they want to know salacious details, etc.,
Oh, please. Well, that is being interested, wanting to know salacious details. Do you guys really follow people and ruin their lives when they leave the church? I have so many questions. I am genuinely interested. Come on, let's do this. But no one will. No one will have an opinion because it's this show. So everyone's like, oh, Jenna says she has her religion. It's ice cream and puppies. So that's it for her. That's all she's saying. And then Jess was like, well, here's the upside of Scientology. There's pretty people in it.
And some of them have children that go to very, very prestigious elementary schools that we're hoping to get our children into as well. I've sent both of my children to Taekwon Clear classes where they both go in and get cleared, whatever that means. Hopefully we'll meet someone famous.
This is a moment that would call for Ramona Singer. It's like, "Whoa, what's going on with your cult, okay? I mean, I hear you guys abduct people, okay?" She would just come in like a sledgehammer. - Scientology? Whoa, what do you do? Do you worship frogs that you're taking apart to dissect and look inside of? Science, Ramona. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. What do you do, have a pastry dish? You guys all about pastry dishes?
you know what my best friend slash daughter Avery she's in a cult it's a cult of getting old and looking older than your mother okay so then um Bryn's like uh well this isn't the time and place for this conversation because I'm like talking to a door-to-door salesman like between you between us you guys it's weird it's weird I love the between us on tv yeah and
And now Jessel is getting airsick and she feels like she wants to puke. She's like, I need to pee and I have to puke. It's like being married to Povit. Oh wait, I already am that. Disgusting.
I guess we're good, but that's it. I guess we're going to avoid the whole Scientology thing. That's a shame. I hope someone's like, let's talk about it. Cause in the previews, when they showed Bryn asking about it so bluntly, I was like, Oh, okay. We're going to talk about it. But now it looks like we're not going to talk about it. I want to talk about it. No, we're definitely not going to. And then the episode kind of ends in this weird place where there's on a helicopter, uh,
having skirted the issue of Scientology and heading to the Hamptons. So next week, it looks like there's going to be some fighting and just the usual hijinks. So fun times. Fun times, everybody. Thanks for being with us for videos of this and all of our recaps and our bonus episodes, which this week and next week are below deck sailing. You can check that out at our patreon.com slash watch what crappens. And we will talk to you guys next time. Bye.
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